#wtf is up with the weather these last few years? /r

[kosmicposum]

Raise your hand if tornadoes terrify you but the meteorological events that spawn them fascinate you.

🙋‍♀️

[seunqs]

[ a long get to know me tag ]

tagged by: losers @woosohn @yeonjuins

what day is your birthday?

27th june! it’ll be on a monday next year

what’s your favourite colour?

blue! a rather specific shade of light sky blue but i also like dark blue! might be misleading because everyone would think beige/black since that’s the aesthetic i like + almost everything i own is black...

what’s your lucky number?

i don’t have one i think but i tend to say 7 if i’m asked?

do you have any pets?

sadly no >:( will get one in the future idc idc

how tall are you?

158cm tiny i wna be abit taller

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

off my head i think 3 pairs...? just 2 black and 1 white that i rotate depending on the outfit i’m wearing

favorite song?

asdjekw i don’t think i have one specific one but recently i’ve been listening to maniac by nct doyoung & haechan!

other honourable mentions: a book of love by ha hyunsang, wide eyed blind by saint raymond, irreplaceable by nct dream, lmly by jackson wang. that’s all i have off my head

favorite movie?

surprisingly i’m not big on movies... but i’ll always answer parent trap when someone asks! why do i sound like i always have prepared answers in my head for various questions... okay that’s bc i do.

what would be your ideal partner?

@june look away i already know you’re gna say this sounds a lot like someone..

shy... is the main characteristics lmao idky it’s not even like i’m outgoing but i tend to find myself liking shy-er boys over the outgoing ones! aaa those with very obvious leadership qualities and quietly cares and looks out for those around them :’) tsundere! i think shy may appear cold sometimes but i’m rly :’) when the shy ones become very affectionate in private or when you get to know them better :’) or shy with strangers but very goofy and silly with their closer social circle heh those that are more cat-like than dog-like, only approaches you when they’re comfy. okay also shy but willing to speak up when necessary! doesn’t let themselves get bullied for being quiet and also pls speak up for me i hate ordering food pls do it for me HAHAHHA also if they’re passionate about something they like/are good at! good listeners too heh doesn’t need to always have the best advice, just if they would sit with me silently and listen to me and give me a hug afterwards :’’’’’) i think i’m on the touchier side too so if they don’t dislike that it’ll be nice! OH someone who’s good at cooking too bc i hate cooking and the kitchen in general.. i’ll do the dishes though HAHAHAH ok that is all there is a certain idol in my head that is the embodiment of my ideal type and i hate him >:(

do you want children?

no... not so much bc i don’t find them cute or i can’t handle them but i think it’s a commitment that scares me! bringing up the child well with the right character and values ajksdbwkje i don’t know if i’m up to that HAHAHAH

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

nope @woosohn @yeonjuins pls be proud of my direct no why are the two of you......... 

bath or shower?

shower! i don’t know if i’ve actually taken a bath before... probably when i was younger HAHAH i think i’ll get bored in the bath and i much rather be relaxing in bed than in the tub

what color socks are you wearing?

barefoot at the moment! the socks i own are mostly solid colour socks / simple cartoon or animal patterns but all ankle socks that can’t be seen with my shoes

favorite type of music?

i listen to pop, r&b and indie! that’s about all and favourite depends on the mood!

how many pillows do you sleep with?

just 1! and a bolster too

what position do you sleep in?

either on my back with hand over my head lmao or turned to either sides while hugging my bolster and face buried into the bolster

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?

when it’s too hot! canNOT sleep if the weather is too hot. also if i get woken up rudely, by screaming or someone smacking me awake LMAO just tell me nicely to get up and i’ll be out of bed in 10mins pls give me awhile my brain is turning on HAHAHA

what do you have for breakfast?

recently i haven’t woken up early enough for bfast or my family is just about to go out to buy lunch by the time i’m up hahaha but on the days that i’m alive for bfast, iced coffee and any pastry sitting in the fridge! my family is big on pastries like croissants and cakes like banana and carrot cakes! so one of those but the iced coffee is a constant in my first meal of the day

have you ever tried archery?

nope and idt i’ll be good at it tbh....

favorite fruit?

strawberries, apples, peaches! there are some seasonal favs where i rly like them for a period of time and then suddenly not anymore but these 3 are the constants

favorite swear word?

hahahaha i dont think i have a favourite one..... but i say tf a lot and mf for kpop boys who make me more flustered than they should

do you have any scars?

i don’t think so! i have a few stretch marks around my waist and tummy tho 

are you a good liar?

yes... HAHAH i used to get scolded so much for lying as a kid lmfao

what’s your personality type?

isfj-t has probably only dipped to isfp-t once but if not constant isfj!

what’s your favorite type of girl?

HAHAHAH uh.... okay with all kinds i think? except people in general who try too hard

innie or outie?

innie. was this question necessary tho AHHAHAHA

left or right-handed?

right-handed

favorite food?

ramen! but i like lots of food lmfao tiramisu, pork belly, lots of noodles, also lots of rice, beef, cakes, ice cream, i think i’m more salty > sweet!

favorite foreign food?

japanese ramen, korean cuisine!, lasagne

are you clean or messy?

clean

most used phrase?

i think alot of keyboard smashes, lmao, wtf, HAHAHAHHAHA, sigh, i’m tired LOL

how long does it take for you to get ready?

depends! fastest i think i can get out of the house 20mins after i’ve woken up. longest probably an hour where outfit is taking a while and accessories needs to be chosen

do you talk to yourself?

in my head yes.

do you sing to yourself?

not often but i sing out loud for the family to hear LOL in my head very often a song is playing up there

are you a good singer?

nop. i don’t think i’m a BAD singer but wouldn’t classify as good either HAHHAHA

biggest fear?

wow so many things but i think biggest is complete darkness, i need to see and know what is going on around me. i sleep with a night light on heh 

are you a gossip?

with closer friends yes def HAHAH my school culture tends to have lots of tea that my friends and i don’t like to get too involved in but we do talk about the gossips that goes around hahaha have also been in the center of gossip way too often

do you like long or short hair?

long! can’t imagine myself with short hair.. used to have reallllyyy long hair that goes beyond my waist and cried when i cut it to slightly below shoulder length. that’s the shortest i’ll ever go

favourite school subject?

wow nothing i don’t like school lmfao but humanities and language are way more bearable than math and sciences

extrovert or introvert?

introverted

what makes you nervous?

unpredictable situations, being alone in public (contradictory because in private i would strongly prefer to be alone but i don’t enjoy being alone in public i feel judged HAHAHA), also currently waiting on a reply for something and that’s been keeping me anxious the past 2 days :’)

who was your first real crush?

when i was 13/14, tablemate in school that was kinda shy and had very limited social circle but talked to me endlessly in class lmfao he apparently liked me too but we never dated and went to different schools at 16 y/o. we’re still kinda in touch though! we talked quite a fair bit last month just catching up but he’s more of an acquaintance now

how many piercings do you have?

2! just one normal lobe piercing on either ears, don’t think i’ll get anymore

how fast can you run?

back in school i used to be one of the fastest girls in my class LMFAO i could clock 12.5 minutes for a 2.4km run. stamina came from dancing since i had to run laps before dance class 2 times a week. but that is long in the past and now i get tired from climbing more than 4 flights of stairs pls spare me

what color is your hair?

naturally black but dyed brown! my hair has grown quite abit since i dyed it though now its black at the top and brown from above my ears onwards

what color are your eyes?

a very dark brown lmfao almost black

what makes you angry?

irresponsible people. just pushing responsibility to others or avoiding their responsibilities. don’t need you to do a good job with your responsibilities, just don’t make your issues my issues. and if its a shared responsibility like group projects, then do your part to contribute and don’t expect others to cover you

selfish people, in many ways. just being self-centred, not caring about how others feel, doing things for personal gain at the expense of others

speaking in a passive-aggressive/sarcastic manner. i say this even though i’m afraid of confrontation but i much rather someone outright tells me they’re unhappy about something or wants to get a point across. i hate when they talk about it sarcastically or tries to sugar-coat their words to make themselves look less aggressive about their words. tell me straight as it is, if you’re already gonna talk about something bad don’t piss me off with your attitude at the same time

do you like your own name?

rae is nice! has a very nice ring to it and looks pretty!

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

i don’t.. want one.. but both have their good and bad i can’t decide.. i want a puppy

what are your strengths?

is this an interview question i have had a few interviews over the past weeks i am well-prepared for this HAHAHA

i think i’m pretty resilient! i bounce back from bad times pretty quickly or i psycho myself to see the situation positively. but it is ofc coupled with a lot of complaining to the people around me first

although i hate unpredictable situations and having to quickly adapt to new settings, i think i adapt pretty quickly too. flexible? easy-going? idk what’s the right way to call it but yeah something along those lines. good at it but i still enjoy my stability and calm don’t want to have to quickly adapt to new situations.

what are your weaknesses?

very emotional HAHAH used to be much worse but i often let my emotions rule my head. i think i’ve improved A LOT though i used to be so bad but i think i’m now able to make rational decisions even if im bawling LMFAO

this sounds like a compliment but i’ve been told this too often as well. i tend to be way too nice to people who don’t deserve it. even if the person doesn’t deserve it or they’ve pushed all my buttons in the wrong way possible, i would still try to be as nice and polite as i can. really helps with me working in the f&b industry lmfao.

what’s the colour of your bedspread?

dark blue / grey! 

colour(s) of your room?

white & wood (throughout my house actually + green from the plants in the living room) @yeonjuins says i live in a muji showroom

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #298

“i don’t like what i am becoming  /  wish i could just feel something”

Do you have sensitive skin? Very. Do you wear necklaces or earrings more? Just my tragus piercing, really. I only ever wear a necklace sometimes if I'm taking a "nice" picture. Rings or bracelets? I currently don't wear any bracelets, but I do always have one ring on. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Is your current crush younger than you? By just a couple years. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? Yes; he's very tan, especially his arms from being a mailman. Ranch or barbeque sunflower seeds? I don't like sunflower seeds. Do you know the first five books of the Bible in order? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nah, they're not my thing. Do you believe being gay is a choice or a "disorder"? Neither; I believe it's a genetic mutation. It defies biology and the very motive for life, but I always say that a mutation does not, in any way, equate to "wrong." I am extremely adamantly pro-gay rights and bisexual myself, so I can't shit-talk it. What are some of your favourite sounds? Crunching leaves, rain gently tapping on windows, windchimes, birdsong... mainly nature sounds. There are others, I'm just blanking right now. Are you a warm weather or cold weather person? Cold, 100%. What time do you wake up? What for? This spans over a massive gap, honestly... I can wake up as early as 5 or as late as 9:30. Most often, it's pretty early, and I call that my "trial" of being awake, lol... because I will almost without fail go back to sleep for a couple more hours. Hell, that happens even if I sleep on the later side. Do you ever listen to music to fall asleep to? I used to do that in middle and maybe some of high school, I think; I'd fall asleep with my iPod on and earbuds in. I haven't done that in a very long time, though. Could you spend the rest of your life with someone who had bad taste in music? ... Yes? Their taste in music has nothing to do with them as a person???? Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for? No, and it's best I don't. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yes, and that's how I found out I'm far from a lightweight. I wasn't going to drink more than I actually wanted to drink just to get wasted. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? Yeah. Who is the last child you held? My youngest niece. Have you ever woken up not knowing where you were? Maybe for a few moments after my surgery? I don't really recall. When is the last time you made the wrong choice in anything? Every fucking day when I decide what to do with my time. What is the most interesting thing in the room you are in? My snake, I guess. She's a champagne morph ball python. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first? I put on soap first. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance? Probably when Mom literally dragged me home after I tried to walk to Jason's to talk the night of the breakup. I lost my fucking mind. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? I don't think I have any. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. I hate Pepsi. What is better: cute smile, or amazing eyes? A cute smile. What song are you listening to? "Drilled a Wire Through My Cheek" by Blue October is on currently. Name your best friend(s): Sara. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nope. Last night you felt? I wasn't suicidal, but still kinda wanted to die lmao. Do you still watch Disney channel? No. How do you like your eggs? I only enjoy them scrambled, and preferably with cheese. What’s your all-time favorite song? "False Flags" by Massive Attack. If you could be any TV character, who would you be and why? Idk, I don't watch TV enough. Maybe Donna from That '70s Show. Very strong and independent, outspoken, and not to mention she has great taste. I find her to be a good female character to look up to. Do you ever come up with really good ideas for stories or movies? Do you do anything with them? Yeah; I'll try to integrate them into RP characters and plots. What sort of things do you post on your Tumblr? Vintage photos, screen caps, girly things? It's a Markiplier cesspit lmao. Sometimes I'll reblog shit I find funny. I've been very inactive on it, though. Have you ever had a dream that you couldn’t shake, even for days after you woke up? Oh yes. When was the last time you felt like a nuisance, or unwanted? Recently, I'm sure. When was the last time your dreams were crushed, or at least hindered? I dunno. How’s school going? I'm not in school. Are you angry at anyone right now? Myself. The last person to say they loved you? Mom. When is the last time you laughed hard? Hard? I'm really not sure. Are there any words on your shirt? No, it's just a blank black tank. Does it take a lot to make you cry? NOPE. Do you tell your parents everything? No. Do you get bored easily? I'm bored to the point of thinking being dead would be more fun at some point almost every day. I have anhedonia badly. I'm honestly starting to think I've over-medicated to a numbing degree so am trying to wean off some things. Have you ever burned someone's picture? No. How long was your last nap? Maybe three hours? I was really, really tired, though. Can you name the last time you felt happy? Probably when Sara and I talk-talked for the first time in a while. When was the last time you played with sidewalk chalk? Oh, I have zero clue. Probably not since I was a kid. Do you have friends obsessed with World of Warcraft? Bro wtf don't @ me. Have you ever punched a hole in the wall? No. Have you ever told someone you hated them? The only time I've seriously said that was to my dad before we reconciled after the divorce. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I actually don't remember... Favorite thing to do on Facebook? See The Memes. Do you wear flip flops, regardless of weather, all the time? I SAID don't @ me. What is in store for your future? I both do and don't want to know. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yeah. I adore bats. Do you chew on straws? No. Do you have any trophies? Yeah. Who’s the last person that creeped you out? Some guy who walked into the store I was at with Mom, continuously looking back and forth. Would you believe an ex if she/he said they love you? Well, that would depend on the person. Have you ever been kissed in the rain? Yeah. Anything exciting happening soon? My half-sister and her kids are visiting tomorrow and staying for a few days. It's a surprise for Mom. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? You could say these surveys kinda are. I don't have a designated "diary," though. When was the last time you took a painkiller? What was it for and did it work? I had womanly issues a few days back, and yeah, it helped. Have you ever had to go and rescue someone because their car broke down? When was the last time that happened? I mean, I've driven /with/ Mom to do so. I myself don't drive. What’s one sweet/candy you miss from your childhood? Is this item something you can still buy or has it been discontinued? Y'all remember Baby Bottle Pops??? 'Cuz I do, and I love those fuckin things. I still see them sometimes in gas stations. When was the last time you used some kind of moisturiser? A few days back for my hands. They were painfully dry. If you’re under lockdown/stay at home orders at the moment, are you struggling or managing okay? A bitch is s t r u g g l i n g. Has anything positive come out of the pandemic for you? Fuck no. Do you wear a watch? Is it analogue/digital? Does it it have things like a step-counter in it? No. Do you have any gifts from Christmas that you still haven’t opened or used? Not used, yes. Well, then some things are still in their boxes, but they're unwrapped. Do you know how to tie a tie? If so, who taught you? No. Who was your last missed call from? Did you ring that person back? Some number I didn't recognize, so no. When was the last time you had some kind of problem with your internet connection? Is this something that happens often? A few days back. It has occasional instances where it'll go out but come back on shortly. Do you have a favourite celebrity chef? No. Do you prefer pizza or pasta? Pizza. Have you ever volunteered anywhere before? What was the reason behind doing so? Once at PetSmart when they had dogs to adopt out, which was for school volunteer hours. I spent time with them, giving them attention and taking them outside. I also had two other animal-related volunteer days, but each was only a few hours because my fucking weak-ass body couldn't handle them. Have you ever been truly obsessed with something? What was it and how did you come to feel that way? I have an incredibly obsessive personality; I could probably name near on a dozen or so things I've been genuinely obsessed with. I don't know what it means to love in moderation. Some are/were pleasant obsessions, some aren't/weren't. Does it bother you when people turn up at your house without asking or waiting to be invited? Yes. Are you taller or shorter than average height? I'm the average for an American woman. Do you have any family members whose beliefs or ways of life completely embarrass you? YUP YUP YUP YUP. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? I don't know. Have you ever injured anyone in self-defense? No. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? In relation to its portion sizes, oatmeal or eggs. I can't have a whole lot of either. I wouldn't say I eat either a lot, but oatmeal is more common. Have you ever heard people talking badly about you behind your back? Did you confront them about it? Yes, and in at least two instances. Do you consider “home” to be the place you were born, or is it somewhere you create for yourself? I consider it to be my childhood home; not the one I was actually born in, but only because I was way too young to remember and we only lived there like, maybe two years into my life. Have you ever experienced having to leave your home due to a fire, or due to the threat of fire? No, thankfully. When was the last time you felt you were in a dangerous situation? When we had a serious tornado warning Christmas Eve. Yes. In winter. Are there any superstitions that you believe in? Which ones and what are your reasons for doing so? No. Are there any series of books/films that you never finished - either because you got bored of waiting or just lost interest? Oh, I'm sure. I Wouldn't say I lost interest in a lot though, I just wasn't interested enough, like for The Hunger Games. Which theme park is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Like, just one. Do you eat healthy? I try to be, at least. Though I've been doing very poorly about it lately because I'm a emotional goddamn eater and am having a very hard time. Do/did your parents fight often? They're divorced for a reason. Do YOU fight with them often? No. Would you say that you're respectful? I hope so. Are you a fan of Green Day? Yeah, I love them. Would you rather have 4 kids at one time or never have a kid? Jesus Christ, never. I don't want any anyway. Do you think 'friends with benefits' relationships really ever work? No. Do you or have you ever known a drug addict? Yes. Do you turn off the water while brushing your teeth or leave it on? I always turn it off. No reason to waste it. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Lots, if you include my half-siblings. Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting? I tend to find them cute. What's your homepage when you bring up the internet? Google. Was the last book you read for fun or was it for some type of assignment? It was for fun. Have you ever dated someone you met online? Yes. Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? Depends on who's asking. Do you own any band tees? Oh, I have lots. Off the top of my head, some that I frequently wear are Metallica, Otep, and Korn. Do you know someone who wears a wig? No. Have you ever kissed someone under fireworks? I don't think so. What kind of dressing do you eat on your salad, if any? I strongly prefer the Olive Garden kind, but I also enjoy ranch. What genre of music do you listen to the most? Metal of some sort. Have you ever dated someone who was way overprotective of you? No. Do you personally know any cops? No. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Not much at all. How confident are you in achieving your dreams? I ain't got the slightest clue by this point in my life. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? There's a lot of things, most bad, some good. Do you have to take medication for any mental illness? A lot. Do you like looking at pictures? It depends on what's in them. Specifically pictures from my past, that's usually a big no. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I guess in very vague ways. Which family member do you get along with the most? Well, define "get along with." I by far have the strongest relationship with my mom, but we fight sometimes. As for who I stay on the most stable ground with, that's probably my dad. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? I know I couldn't, but I'd love to. How did you meet your newest friend? Who even IS my newest friend... Have you ever watched the show Teen Mom? What did you think about it? No, and I think it's an awful fucking idea for a television show. Put a spotlight on and money into teen pregnancy, yeah, that's a genius plan. Are you old enough to remember MySpace? Yeah. Do you think you’ll be a good mother/father? I wouldn't be. Do you have trouble deleting your text messages? I don't need to. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No. Have you ever been called a tease? Yeah. Do people ever make fun of your religion or lack thereof? No. Do you say/do things a lot for shock effect? No? What was the last compliment you gave a guy? I probably told my nephew Ryder he was a good brother. Was one of your grandpas in a war? Maybe? Idk. I never knew either well at all. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yes. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Have you ever ordered something off a commercial on television? No. What's worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. Do you still consider Pluto a planet? Yes. Didn't they reinstate it as one, anyway? Right now, are you at a high, leveled, or low point? What's lower than "low?"

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever seen a black rose? online only

Is your coffee machine plugged in right now? we don’t own one as we don’t drink coffee Do you write words on your knuckles? I tried few times for fun XD Have you ever been a SCUBA diver for Halloween? wtf Have you ever taken a picture of a sandwich? sure Have you ever seen elephant droppings? I haven’t  Would you like to visit Play Dough Land? :o What’s your opinion on Katy Perry? copycat Who was your favorite character from the cartoon Recess? Spinelli, then Gretchen

Have you ever lost your parents in the grocery store? yeah, I still do and I hate that  Have you drawn a star today? not today but when I was in hospital this week Are you older or younger than fifteen? much older If you can remember, what was the last thing that made you feel nostalgic? Recess being mentioned Are you the type of person who prefers to stay in or go out? stay in Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? yep Are you starting to realize anything? sigh... Would you live with someone without marrying them? why not Who was the last person you talked to in person? *mom enters my room*

Who were the last 3 males you talked to? dad and two doctors

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her? omg I realized I was so tired that I didn’t even say hello to my dog wtf... What genre is the song that you’re currently listening to? indiepop/electropop Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it? nope Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing? plenty of times Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy” etc.) wow beautiful, pretty, attractive, cute, adorable, piękna, that she looks amazing/awesome/great, śliczna, urocza, słodka, cudowna...

*it reminds me of one very embarassing high school story: były wigilie klasowe i wyszliśmy rozbawieni z sali, a na korytarzu stała śliczna dziewczyna i na cały głos powiedziałam “ale laska” potem zorientowałam się co właśnie zrobiłam i robiąc facepalma wymaszerowałam ze szkoły, a za mną śmiejące się przyjaciółki, nie dały mi potem o tym długo zapomnieć, a E.W. nawet obczaiła kto to i próbowała się dowiedzieć, czy jest ona lesbą, ale okazało się, że ma chłopaka i demonstracyjnie całowała się z nim na moich oczach parę dni później Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? just water Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? I haven’t Name something you like, that starts with the letter ‘L’. lamps I’m not a moth tho :P When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? not sure when was the last time and/or what it was about How many people have you hugged today? 2 Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex? been really into very dark brown eyes and arm lenght or a bit shorter brown hair mostly like Rosa Salazar (latino and asian women) that’s why Sarah been so my type

but my biggest tumblr crush was Raquey Strange

and my youtube one - Rachel Maksy

*vintage ladies <3 The last song you listened to – does it remind you of anyone? it doesn’t remind me of anyone, it’s from K-12 album

What was the last compliment you received? mom complimented my hair today

Are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? wallflower

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? none but Swift if I had to choose

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? no pattern this time

What languages can you count to ten or higher in? englihs, polish, russian Where did you get the underwear you’re wearing? Auchan

Are you good in painting yopur nails with your left hand? not even with my right one lol Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? very Do you call any of your friends by their last name? that would be weird How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning? long? Have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? I don’t recall Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? gave up TV Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? bathroom Are you trying to grow out your hair? need to cut my hair but not bangs

How many times does the letter ’t’ occur in your full name? once

What brand is the shirt you’re wearing? I cut the tag but I believe I bought it in Sinsay First person you spoke to today? my mother Name of first boyfriend/girlfriend? dunno who to count First place you lived? same as currently Who was your 1st teacher? not counting pre school and Mrs. Alinka - my aunt  Last person to call you? labor office Last song you heard? Melanie Martinez - Bombs on Monday Morning Last thing you bought? silver glittery ugg slippers :3 Where was your facebook display photo taken? hospital How many people have you kissed in the last 2 weeks? nobody What were you doing at 10 this morning? waking up Have you ever dated an Emily? umm... How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 0 What is the weather like right now? perfect - hot, zephyr, clouds :D why am I not outside?... Where was the last place you went that was more than 30 minutes away? mall Something you wear all the time that you’d feel naked without? panties, unless I’m sleeping

Do you live within an hour of the ocean? not even sea Do you ever do things even though you know you’ll regret it later? sometimes I might :( What are you currently sitting/laying on? my desk chair Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? no but I had a crush on one of them for a moment What do you plan to be doing 2 hours from now? eating? Have you ever been a clown for Halloween? not Halloween What time did you go to bed last night? early and immediately fallen asleep which never happens to me but I was so exhausted that I was falling on my face while I was blow drying my hair When was the last time it rained? yesterday or day before Have you ever made yourself throw up?  no way in hell When was the last time you went camping? middle school? Are you currently wearing anything orange? am not Do you know anyone who is a nurse? neighbor Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? lapdog Are you currently wearing any jewelry? nope Was any of it given to you? - What was the worst thing to happen to you today? health issues, annoying people, nothing new? Do you know anyone who plays guitar? I tried myself Did anyone tell you that you looked nice today? mentioned that in this survey so look above How many missed calls have you had today? two Did you graduate high school within the last 3 years? it’s been over 5 years  If not, will you graduate within the next 3 years? not applicable as you can see Which is coming next: Christmas or your birthday? Christmas Do you have any money on yourself at the moment? mhm Do you sleep in the nude? nope Do you ever walk around the house naked if no one is home? neither What is your favorite way to spend a cool autumn night? sleeping duh! Where was the last place you slept other than your house? hospital Do you have any big plans for the weekend? work in progress, we’ll see, deciding  How many relationships have you been in so far this year? like 1 Have you ever dated someone who had a child? pfft, I dislike kids so... Are you taller than 5'6"? I’m smol 

When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with?: this year

How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): 30+ years

How long would it take you to walk to the nearest store?: ~10 minutes

How old were you when you got your first smartphone?: 25 or something

Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder?: monkey for a second

Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively?: majority of society

Do you like The Rolling Stones?: prefer Depeche Mode

What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately?: life

How old were you in 1996? 4

How old will you be in 2026? won’t live that long but 34 What song is playing? Mosimann & MARUV - Mon Amour

Are you better at math or art? art Science or History? science, I’m bad at remembering dates and names

Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all? my town

Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? I wouldn’t be able to do such a thing What do you think of the 1980’s? cool :) Is their anything living (plant, animal, etc) in your room right now? me and plants How old is the cellphone you have right now? couple years old What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names? AA as I’m a woman - dodaj jedno A i będziemy anonimowymi alkoholikami

Are both your parents still living? they are  Can you do a handstand? used to Is it after 11am? it’s almost 5 pm What’s the longest time you’ve ever spent on the phone? talking or doing other stuff? How many pairs of brown shoes do you own? do I even own any?... Are you on any prescribed medications? plan to be sadly Would you ever or do you have a nose piercing? doubt it, thought about septum as a teenager but no longer want it

How many days until Christmas? months Is your mom over 50? she is  How old were you 7 years ago? 21 Do you know what ‘C'est la vie’ means? even tho I don’t know this language  Are you wearing anything red? leggings Do you live in an apartment? house Do you wish on dandelions? I blow them but don’t wish on them Are you drinking anything right now? I’m going to  About how tall is your father? taller than me Do you know anyone who has lived to be 100+? not personally Have you had your birthday yet this year? in February Do you read your horoscope on a regular basis? nah Do you like the color yellow? it’s one of my fav colors Are you an aunt or uncle? yes What is your hair like at the moment? fine What would you name be if your last name was the color of your shirt? Black If you could find out how you would die, would you want to know? yasss but what about date? Has anyone ever told you you should be a model? with my height? r u serious? Who is the artist/band you’re listening to at the moment? Boy Epic Is there a calendar in the room you’re in? pocket and poster type If you’re single, do you wish you were in a relationship? am in a relationship Were you born in the 1980’s? 90s What was your first favorite movie? animated Robin Hood with a fox and Jumanji also Goonies What was your first trip to the emergency room for? not counting being born too early - I was choking due to the fact I got wrong meds for my lungs, later I ended up in ER as an adult for stomachache (took me in an ambulance) Where was the first place you went today? store What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? dream that I had Do you remember the first time you spent the night away from home? grandma’s apartment but not exact night as I was just a child What was the last movie you rented? I srsly can not remember Why did you last get angry? neighbor is mowing grass... every single day for whole day long How long ago was your last birthday? half year ago Do you enjoy helping people move or do you not like it? I’ve never helped anyone move 

Have you been taking more or less surveys as of recently? less as I was absent

[purplesurveys]

483

Is there a bus stop near your house?: No, buses don’t stop around my area and I only ever see them on EDSA, which is like the main highway of Metro Manila.

Do you prefer red wine or white wine?: I hate the shit out of wine but if I absolutely had to drink some, it has to be red. And it has to be more sweet than bitter.

What’s the last airport you were at? Why were you there?: NAIA. I’m literally at the Starbucks right across the airport right now because my mom is arriving from Hong Kong in an hour and I have to pick her up. 

Who do you live with?: I live with my family. That’s a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, a cat, and a dog.

Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like?: Yessssss all the time. I always browse through the Popular filter since it already compiles the best recent posts, but I’m a huge fan of the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. People who turn out to be the assholes are hilaaaaarious.

Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend?: No. I ‘broke up’ with Aya as a friend when she was being abusive to Jo, but she’s since started working on getting better and has apologized to our friend group, so she’s back on my good side.

What’s the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside?: It’s 29ºC. I’m glad we’re not in the 30s, but I don’t appreciate how warm it still is.

Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently?: As far as I know, no.

Have you used a pen or pencil today? What did you write down?: [continued from earlier because I had to pick my mom up lmao] Yes, I used a pen today. It was to write my name on a requirement that I needed to submit to complete my class.

What does your last text message say and who is it from?: "Can I call?” from my girlfriend.

Can you count how many times you’ve seen your favourite film?: Must be near a hundred. I talked about this in a recent survey but there was a time I watched Two for the Road everyday for like 2-3 months. I still make it a point to watch it several times a year. 

When was the last time you ate marshmallows?: I have no idea. I don’t like marshmallows; I’ve always hated the texture.

Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them?: Uhhh no, not really. If I REALLY REALLY like the guest, I’ll sometimes listen to Colt Cabana’s Art of Wrestling or Chris Jericho’s Talk is Jericho. But other than that, I’d rather watch YouTube videos.

How old will you be in the year 2030?: 32.

How often does the kettle in your house get used?: My mom never got one.

Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from?: Yep, super. I don’t have a bruise right now but I do have a mysterious cut below my right knee. Have absolutely no idea where it came from, but apparently whatever cut it cut it deep and it hurts.

What was the last thing you spent $150 or more on?: I’ve never spent that amount of money on anything.

Do you prefer yes or no questions or more open-ended questions?: Open-ended. If I sense that a survey is becoming too yes-or-no I usually quit it halfway; it’s too boring.

What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy?: My mom buys the toiletries so I’m not aware of what brands she gets.

If I knocked on your door right now, would you be acceptable dressed?: Yes. I just got home and haven’t changed out of my jumpsuit.

Why did you leave your last job?: Never had one.

What colour were the last socks you wore?: It’s like a faded green.

Are you studying currently? What level of education and what do you study?: Yep! I’m an incoming senior in my BA in Journalism.

Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying?: No, that’s terrible.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?: Probably something from Buzzfeed Unsolved cause I’ve been rewatching it lately.

What’s your favourite scent of air freshener?: Meh, I prefer the natural car smell. Scents make me dizzy.

How many weddings have you ever been to?: Four, I think. All of those when I was a kid; I haven’t been to a wedding since 2007.

Do you know anyone named Nora?: I don’t think so.

Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi? My fingernails can be trimmed, but it’s not like a mess or anything. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play?: We played a math version of Scrabble when we stayed over at Laurice’s house. I’ve never seen a game like it before lmfaaaaao it was so intense.

Have you ever been to a festival for beer or other type of alcohol?: Nope. I don’t think that would be my kind of scene, either.

Do you own a record player and/or vinyls?: I don’t have a record player so I don’t have vinyls.

When was the last time you went out for drinks?: Third week of May. Have you ever been to a strip club?: NO I really want to go to one though.

What’s your favourite kind of smoothie?: I don’t take smoothies.

Do you know anyone with a ‘virtue name’? (Google it): Hmm I don’t think so, but I know someone who wants to name their kid Prudence.

Would you ever wear real authentic leather?: Never.

Have you taken out the trash today?: Nope, I don’t do that around the house. How often do you wear make-up?: Very seldom. I had my face made up several times over the last few months because Kate sometimes gets bored and she’d want to give me a makeover, but other than that, I rarely get my face done for events.

What’s your opinion on The Simpsons?: I have a very soft spot for that episode where Homer sits on the hood of his car and looks at the stars after he separated from his mom. I don’t keep track of the rest of the show.

Do you prefer horizontal or vertical stripes?: Horizontal. I don’t think I’ve ever worn vertical ones before.

What’s your favourite brand of deodorant/antiperspirant?: I don’t have a favorite.

Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce?: No. We don’t have divorce in the Philippines. So it’s not because all the couples I know are staying strong – it’s literally because no one is allowed to divorce by law.

If you had the money, would you take taxis everywhere instead of driving?: No, taxi drivers can be creepy. I’d rather drive by myself.

Have you ever done a juice cleanse?: Nope. I don’t need it.

Do you have any friends who you can’t decide if they’re attractive or not?: HAHAHAHAHA WTF, that’s so messed up and such a shitty thing to do. Is the inside of your fridge clean right now or does it need a clean out?: It’s always clean. My mom doesn’t let any spot in the house go messy for long.

When was the last time you washed the dishes?: This morning before I left the house.

Are there any magazines that you read on a regular basis?: Nope, I haven’t read one in months.

Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in?: No, not in Antipolo. That’s why I love it here. Once I get to the city though we do have to pay for everything, yes.

What’s the first thing you tend to do when you have a headache?: Take a Biogesic. Takes it out immediately.

Tell me about your responsibilities at work.: I don’t have a legit job yet, but at my latest internship I did news monitoring, press releases, research, and made briefing forms for the media.

Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you?: No. I live in a gated subdivision so it is very quiet here. Have you ever had proper Canadian poutine with the squeaky cheese?: I have never tried poutine, what a damn shame. I wish I can encounter a restaurant that serves it cause it looks SO GOOD. Canadian cuisine is not very prominent here though so idk when I can ever get an authentic serving of poutine :(

Do your parents know how to operate smartphones and/or computers?: My dad is very techy, more so than me. My mom uses her phone for her Facebook and camera and nothing else. She still asks me to Google stuff for her even if her Chrome app is right beside Facebook.

How old are your parents, anyway?: My mom and dad are both 1971 babies so they are turning 48 this year.

Are you allergic to anything? What do you have to do to prevent them?: No. My skin can get very allergic to the environment (especially if it’s humid), but it’s not an allergy or anything.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment?: I haven’t been thinking of a song.

Do you hate it when people try really hard, or do you kinda like it?: Idk how to feel about them...like sometimes I’d think it’s hilarious but other times I’d feel sorry and just cringe. But I’m certain I don’t hate it.

What’s your boss’ first name? Do you call him/her by that name?: My boss at internship is named Dessa. I call her that but I address her with Ms. before her name too so that it’s respectful.

When was the last time you wore a uniform of any kind? What colour was it? I wore my old school uniform last year for funsies because I spotted it in our storage closet and felt a little nostalgic. No reason to wear it, just wanted to mess around. The blouse ws white, the necktie and skirt are plaid.

Do you complete a survey before taking this one? Will you take one after?: No. After this, I’m torn among a) getting a midnight snack, b) taking another survey, and c) watching RuPaul’s Drag Race since I started getting into it last night, hahaha. Have you ever lost enough weight to drop a dress size?: I probably have, except I wasn’t actively trying to achieve that.

What’s your favourite kind of bread?: White and brioche.

When was the last time you got pizza? What toppings did you get?: Last Thursday. We got a cheese pizza and a barbecue chicken pizza.

Do you own Monopoly? Is it the original or a special version?: We don’t. I don’t know how to play Monopoly haha it always seemed just so boring to me.

What was the last thing you said out loud?: "Whatcha doing?”

You have to choose one: cats or dogs?: Dogs.

Would someone being either a cat or dog person affect you dating them?: It probably would. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wants to own a cat with me. I love cats but I would never want them as a pet.

How do you travel to and from work?: I drive myself always. I don’t work yet, though.

Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why?: Cash, because I don’t have a card.

Have you ever been to a stadium concert?: I’ve been to arena concerts, if they mean the same thing lmao.

[akatsukigadaisuki]

Beautiful Disaster Chapter 15

GUYS I FINALLY UPDATED MY MULTICHAP STINGUE FIC AFLDKGGHG OKOK

this is a huge thanks to @hauntedpotatocollector​ who was the main source of my motivation to update/finally finish this chapter after like nearly two years. 

idk if i should put the ao3 link since tumblr has that weird bug... but my ao3 is SeraphOfTheGay and you should find it on there! 

but anyways, enjoy! this took days of looking back on old chapters to see wtf i was doing and changing/adding a lot of things so i hope it’s worth the read! thank you all for your patience and support <3

They say certain types of weather can be a strong trigger for nostalgia, which is why Rogue isn’t surprised when a sudden thought pierces his mind, nagging him like a woodpecker pecking away at his brain. It’s a question that pops up as he’s casually walking towards the home of his three friends, the ones whose conversation he’d supposedly zoned out of a few minutes ago.

The slight breeze, warm weather, and faint sunlight peeking through the clouds remind Rogue of a time when he was out at a market shopping area. The memory was very blurry, so he couldn’t recall much of the details, but he remembered getting on a horse carriage to control the vehicle that’d gone astray, and while doing so, had gotten extremely sick. After all, Dragon Slayers were prone to motion sickness.

So what he wondered now was this: How was he able to ride the bus without becoming sick? He was sure he’d get motion sick in some way, which was also another reason why he’d been avoiding the bus since school began. He hadn’t even thought about this when he agreed to Sting’s suggestion of taking the bus with him, as if it was something that wasn’t significant at all when really, it should’ve been.

Carefully, he snuck a glance at Sting and Natsu, who were laughing together at whatever they were talking about, and wondered about their motion sickness condition. They were Dragon Slayers too, were they not? So how were they able to ride the bus daily without turning green or puking their guts out?

“…favorite is Paper Towns,” Natsu was saying when Rogue finally returned from his palace of thoughts. “What about you, Gray?”

“Ah, I liked that collaboration he did with two other authors. The book was called Let it Snow,” Gray answered, and a lightbulb flickered in Rogue’s mind, realizing what they were discussing.

“Oh man, I didn’t know he did a collab! I gotta read that at some point,” Natsu said, tilting his head as he took a mental note of it.

“I’m glad I got you into his novels, considering how you don’t even like reading,” Gray said smugly.

“Can you guys stop talking about books already?” Sting pleaded with exasperation. He grasped strands of his hair, exhaling. “I’ve heard things about that John Green guy and it seems like he fucks with your emotions or something. How about we talk about video games for a change?”

A minimal silence followed as Natsu’s face scrunched up contemplating this idea, and Gray took this moment to shoot a glance at Rogue, noticing his strained expression. “Hey, you alright?”

It took Rogue a moment to realize Gray was talking to him, and when he did, he snapped out of his daze and looked at his friend, blinking wildly. “Oh, y-yeah! I was just thinking about something, and actually,” he went on, before losing the chance to speak, “I have a question for Sting and Natsu, if they don’t mind answering…”

Gray nodded, his raised eyebrows hinting at his curiosity. “Oi, morons! Rogue has something he wants to ask you, so listen up!”

Sting and Natsu immediately stopped what they were discussing and turned towards him, giving Rogue their full attention. “Yes?” they said in unison, grinning widely. To Rogue, they looked almost like twins in that moment––same energy, same wild, windswept hair, same dorky smile.

Rogue then swallowed, slightly nervous. Having everyone’s eyes on him made him falter as if their gazes were weighing him down, but he was able to keep a decently steady composure, or at least one that was enough to get his words out. “You both are Dragon Slayers, correct?”

“Hell yeah we are!” they boasted, again, at the same time. But there was a twinge of uneasiness before they said that, sparking Rogue’s attention.  

Rogue decided not to think too much of it and just nodded, touching his chin with his fingers. “And Dragon Slayers have motion sickness… right?”

Sting and Natsu gave each other an odd look, their smiles receding, to which Rogue panicked a bit, wondering if he’d said something bad. However, almost immediately, Gray spoke up, slightly easing Rogue’s tension. “Are you asking because they were fine on the bus?”

“Yes…” Rogue confirmed, watching the others’ expressions. There was a natural yet somewhat forced happiness, as if what they were discussing held some sort of abnormal malice. “Um, was that not a good thing to ask?” he added quickly, sensing the discomfort he thought he’d raised in the air.

“No, you had the right to be curious,” Sting said finally. Rogue didn’t take his eyes off of him for even a second, afraid that he’d miss something important. “It’s just, we can’t discuss it in public, because the reason why we’re fine is something that isn’t really allowed. Or normal.”

“What he means is—“ Gray began, but Natsu cut him off.

“We aren’t allowed to reveal ourselves as Dragon Slayers.”

Rogue’s jaw dropped as sweat began forming on his temples; he blinked twice, trying to comprehend what Natsu just said.

“See, there’s no one around,” Sting followed up, gesturing to the desolate streets around them, “so when you asked if we were Dragon Slayers, we were okay with admitting it, even being proud of it. I mean, being a Dragon Slayer is one of the coolest things to be!”

“Don’t confuse him, just explain the motion sickness fiasco already,” Gray said, catching on to Rogue’s puzzled expression.

“We have this friend named Wendy,” Natsu stated, still serious like earlier despite his usually cheery personality. “She’s also a Dragon Slayer. In order for us to blend in around us and not be completely sick to our stomachs whenever we’re on a vehicle, she made us Tr— uh, Trolly… Taro… Toya…? No, wait, I got it! Troia pills. It has her magic that can allow us to not get sick, but we can only eat them in small amounts otherwise it won’t last for long and we’ll become immune to it. Anything longer than a short bus ride to school would still affect us, which would be bad.”

“Oh,” was all Rogue said, his eyes blown out wide. That part made sense. But why in the world were Dragon Slayers supposedly a forbidden species? And wait, did the others not know he too was a Dragon Slayer? Then, if he was one, how come he was fine despite not taking this Troia pill or whatever? Rogue yearned to ask more questions, but everyone seemed fretful and he felt awful for ruining their cheery mood, so he simply said, “I’m sorry for asking, we don’t have to discuss this further.”

“No need to apologize,” Gray assured him, giving Natsu a strange look. “I mean, it is kind of a sensitive topic, but you probably didn’t know since you’re new. Dont worry though, Sting and Natsu aren’t mad at you or anything, if that’s what you’re concerned about.” He smiled, turning towards them. “Right, guys?”

A smile stretched on both of their faces and they gave Rogue a reassuring thumbs up. “Yup!”

Rogue forced a small smile in return. They’re definitely like twins, he thought. He did feel that they were being genuine with their reassurance, but still, he felt bad. He had no idea that this was such a taboo topic, and if he’d known sooner, he wouldn’t have brought it up at all. Everything was getting stranger, and Rogue didn’t even know where to start looking for answers. If such a place even existed, that is.

The silence Rogue expected to follow that intensity never came. Although that discussion had seemed really strained, things progressed as if it never happened. Gray went on to talk to Natsu about something, and as Rogue tried to eavesdrop and/or join in, he was interrupted when Sting bumped his shoulder.

“Hey,” he said, in the softest voice, looking ahead at the sky above them, which was slowly turning to hues of crimson and orange.

“H-hey,” Rogue responded, a little startled.

Sting remained silent, and Rogue normally would’ve felt uncomfortable, but for some reason, a calmness overtook him instead. He followed Sting’s gaze up to the sky, watching as the brightness reflected in Sting’s eyes. In that moment he couldn’t tell what was more beautiful—the sky, or its reflection in someone who had eyes the same color as it.

Rogue could feel Sting’s warm skin against the thin fabric of his shirt, and it gave him a tingly feeling, like Sting was lighting little sparklers in his veins. Sting’s clothing style was very bold, to put it lightly. He didn’t cover a lot of his body, probably because he had a really nice figure. His muscles were so defined, his physique toned with skin that was practically glowing. Rogue could feel every part of Sting’s arms press up against him, and Rogue closed his eyes in that moment, melting into the calmness and thriving off the slight contact between him and Sting.

The moment, however, was short-lived, because Sting decided to say something finally, causing Rogue’s eyes to pop back open.

“Is there something you’re worried about, Rogue?”

Sting’s eyes never met Rogue’s, but Rogue could tell somehow that he wanted to look at him. He probably thought Rogue wouldn’t answer if he did.

Rogue looked on ahead before answering, seeing Gray and Natsu push each other around as they walked, clearly distracted. Logically, this was a good time to bring up all those questions he had, but then he remembered Sting being extremely confused when he talked about this strange feeling before, when he asked about them knowing about each other in the past, so he completely shut down the idea of mentioning it any further.

“It’s nothing,” Rogue lied, biting his lip. “But… I appreciate your concern.”

Rogue did not like lying, but found himself doing it a lot whenever someone asked him about what was on his mind. He didn’t think he could handle the atmosphere of that tense feeling from before, plus, he preferred this side of Sting instead ––calm, peaceful, serene––and did not wish to fracture this nice moment they were having.

He snuck a glance at Sting then, mostly to check if he believed what he said, and felt his heart beat oddly when he saw the look of determination in Sting’s eyes. They were captivating, the alluring sapphire making him want to spill every secret he’d been keeping. The intensity of Sting’s look almost made Rogue confess, but he held himself back, breaking away from Sting’s eyes. He thought he’d owed him a little explanation though, and didn’t want Sting to think he didn’t trust him, so after he swallowed the lump in his throat, he started speaking again.

“Well…” At that, he could’ve sworn he saw Sting’s eyes sparkle, “I wanted you to know…” he took a deep breath, preparing for how Sting would react, lowered his voice, and said, “I’m a Dragon Slayer too. A Shadow Dragon Slayer.”

“Wh— Wait, seriously?” Sting exclaimed so loudly that even Gray and Natsu, who were a few feet ahead, turned back to look at them. “No freakin’ way!”

“What is it, Sting?” Natsu called, his head still turned as he kept walking. This caused him to walk into a pole, and he yelped in surprise. “Ow!”

“Pole, one, Natsu, zero,” Gray commented, snickering.

“Shut it, Frosty!” Natsu spit out, rubbing his sore nose.

“Awww, do you want some ice?” Gray offered, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I’ll burn you, Droopy Eyes,” Natsu snarled, bashing his head against Gray’s.

“I’d like to see you try, Lame Brain Lizard,” Gray retorted, pushing hard against Natsu to match his force.

“Seriously guys?” Sting huffed out when he and Rogue had caught up to them. “I don’t know what’s more lame, the nicknames or the petty fights.” He let out a sigh, and then looked on ahead. “Oh hey, we’re almost back home!” He began to walk forward, when suddenly, he was gripped by the handle of his backpack and yanked backwards.

“Hey, you never told me what happened earlier!” Natsu, the culprit, yelled, shaking Sting wildly.

“I can’t… tell you… out here! Wait… till we… get home!” Sting wheezed out, stumbling. “Let me go!” He was starting to get dizzy from all of the rapid movement and had to grip onto Natsu’s scarf for support, which caused Natsu to nearly topple over. Natsu reached for Gray’s shirt to stabilize himself but ended up pulling him along into their chaos until they were all tangled in Natsu’s scarf.  

Rogue watched as the three of them shouted at each other and dragged each other around, and it made him think of a group of playful children who didn’t have a single care in the world, freely doing whatever they wanted to their heart’s desire. They were like a small, close family, and seeing them like this squeezed Rogue’s heart in a warm, fluffy kind of way, making him smile.

It wasn’t long before the four of them reached a mediocre-looking house, which Rogue soon learned was the home of his three friends. Sting, Natsu, and Gray had successfully managed to get untangled from the mess a few minutes ago, and now they proudly stood in front of the main entrance, grinning. Rogue didn’t expect much of their house, really, but despite the way it looked on the outside, the inside was exquisite. Or at least, as exquisite as a house occupied by three energetic, teenage boys can be.

“Welcome to our home!” Sting announced the minute he switched on the main lights.

Rogue sucked in a breath, not expecting what those lights revealed to him. The first thing he noticed was the kitchen, which was big, and cluttered with dishes and various packaging. Across the kitchen, there was a living room, occupied by a big TV, its stand surrounded by Xbox controllers and game discs. The couch looked worn yet comfy, and as he looked past the living room, he spotted two more rooms which he guessed were the bedrooms. Overall, the house was messy, yet exceptional.

“Wow…” Rogue marveled, giving their living space another once-over. He could see Natsu grinning from the corner of his eye, while Gray and Sting simply watched him as he checked out their home.

“First things first, WE EAT!” Natsu proclaimed, throwing his bag on the floor. He rubbed his hands together, staring at the kitchen as if food would appear and deliver itself to him.

“Is there ever anything on your mind besides food?” Gray asked with a sigh, tossing his backpack next to Natsu’s. “I actually think we don’t have anything left, so we should probably go grocery shopping before anything else.”

“Aw man, but I’m hungry NOW!” Natsu whined, frowning. “And to answer your previous question, Gray, there is one other thing that’s on my mind besides food.” Rogue noticed a sly smirk forming on his face, but before he could see anything else, Sting grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

“Sooo Rogue, do you wanna join us for grocery shopping or would you like me to stay home with you while Gray and Natsu go out?” he asked, not letting go of Rogue’s arm.

Rogue pondered this for a moment, the thought from a few seconds ago disappearing out of his mind. Admittedly he didn’t know everything about those two, but he did believe one thing: they probably couldn’t handle going out alone together without some chaos occurring. He knew that much from the library incident. Also, the thought of staying in the house alone with Sting made Rogue a little nervous, but not in a complete bad way. There was also some excitement mixed in there, but he had to be responsible here. Either way, the faster they got done with shopping, the sooner they could start on their project. Natsu was his partner anyway, not Sting, so there wasn’t much he and Sting could do if Gray and Natsu were out on their own.

“I think it’d be better if we went along, you know, to prevent any disasters from happening?” Rogue supplied after some time, rubbing the back of his head. He hoped what he said didn’t sound too offensive.

Sting’s bubbly laughter made that doubt vanish out of his mind. “Hahaha, you’re so right! Alrighty then, off to the grocery store we go!”

“Hold it.” Natsu stopped them as they approached the front door, a serious expression on his face. “You owe me an explanation, Bumblebee.”

“Huh?” Sting blinked, slightly startled.

Bumblebee? Rogue thought, feeling a smile tugging the corner of his mouth. That’s actually…kinda cute.

“Don’t give me that look! You were gonna tell me something when we got back inside, right?” Natsu reminded him, his arms now crossed against his chest.

“Oh! That’s…well––“ he looked at Rogue in that moment, as if asking for permission through his eyes, and Rogue simply nodded. “Rogue is a Dragon Slayer too! A Shadow Dragon Slayer!”

“WHAT? SERIOUSLY? THAT’S SO FREAKIN’ AMAZING!!” Natsu shrieked suddenly, causing Gray to punch him in the shoulder for being too loud. Rogue could tell that Gray was intrigued and maybe surprised as well, and Rogue laughed nervously, playing with his sleeves. Hopefully this revelation wouldn’t affect them too greatly or change the way they thought about him.

“Now that’s something I didn’t see coming,” Gray said, looking at Rogue more closely.

“Looks like Gray is the only one in the group who isn’t a Dragon Slayer,” Natsu teased, sticking his tongue out as he winked.

“Aw come on, don’t make me feel left out like that you jerk!” Gray moped, a slight frown on his face. He didn’t look too upset though, to which Rogue was thankful for.

“Is that how you knew that Sting and I were Dragon Slayers? And why you asked about the motion sickness thing? I bet you’ve learned to control your motion sickness or something because you looked totally fine this morning!” Natsu went on, not over this revelation.

His questions made Rogue come to a halt. He hadn’t even thought about that—Natsu was right, how did he know that Sting and Natsu were Dragon Slayers? He’s never seen them use their magic before, and he’d only started talking to them yesterday, so how?

“I—well, um, you see…” he was struggling to find the words now, his head throbbing with more unanswered questions.

“Ooh, maybe its a special Dragon Slayer connection where we can all sense each other’s magic or something! It probably just kicked in now that our bond is stronger, right?” Natsu offered, and Rogue decided to accept it for lack of better knowledge.

“Could be,” he replied, nodding. His stomach lurched, but he tried to focus his mind on something else, not wanting to cause a scene in front of them.

“I actually kind of figured,” Gray said then, making the three of them turn to him.

“What? How?” Sting wondered, his eyes widening. “Didn’t you just say you didn’t see it coming?”

“Well, yeah, but then I remembered something. Yesterday, when we were sharing each other’s emails, Rogue said his was shadowdragonrogue7. So I thought he might be a Dragon Slayer.”

Natsu and Sting stood there, dumbfounded. “How…how did we not realize this sooner?” Natsu muttered, looking at Sting. All Sting could do was shrug, not being able to find the words for this predicament.

“We should get going now,” Gray said with a chuckle, and Rogue breathed out a sigh of relief, glad that this conversation was over for now. He had more things to think about, and it was still hard for him to accept this whole Dragon Slayer thing, but he decided to let it go for a bit and enjoy this upcoming shopping trip with his friends.

Friends. Every time Rogue thought of them as that, it made his heart flutter. He couldn’t have been luckier, to meet three caring, friendly people who took him in without hesitation, and made him feel like he’s always belonged. He’d surely have to thank them at some point, maybe even do something for them in return for their kindness. He hoped they could stay friends and still hang out even after this project ended.

“Rogue, you comin’?” Sting asked with a smile, pulling him out of his thoughts. Rogue nodded and swiftly followed the others out the door, their bright smiles illuminating the path in front of him.

_______________

The grocery store wasn’t too far from their home; at best it was no longer than a twenty minute walk. Natsu had showed them a shortcut, a path that seemed a little dangerous considering the massive highway with no pedestrian walkways that they had to cross, but they ended up making it across just fine. Rogue found Natsu shouting “Told ya so!” multiple times to Gray, who had been the most worried about getting hit by a car or something on the way down, very amusing.

“Shut up, Natsu! I get it already!” Gray grumbled, grabbing Natsu by the scarf. “Don’t make me freeze your mouth shut.”

“You know I could easily burn your ice off Gray, plus, if you did that, how would you k—“

Sting interrupted him, yelling, “Natsu, watch where you’re going!”

Natsu turned around, realizing he nearly bumped into an elderly couple.

“Agh, sorry!” he yelped sheepishly as Gray let go of him.

The elderly couple just smiled at him and walked away, and Natsu took that as a sign of ‘apology accepted.’

“Good thing we came along,” Rogue whispered to Sting, who smiled at him in response.

The four of them entered the store then, and immediately Rogue was captivated by all the scents filling the air. This place was some sort of international market, consisting of goods from all over the world. Although there were various foods that one would be eager to try from another country, all Rogue could think about was the different kinds of chocolate he could get his hands on.

“Okay guys, who’s got the shopping list?” Sting asked, looking around to see where they could start.

“We ain’t need no shopping list! Just grab whatever ya feel like eating!” Natsu suggested with a huge grin.

“If we did that, we’d run out of money faster than you go through the food you eat,” Gray told him, shaking his head.

“How about we split up? Rogue and I will get some snacks, and you and Natsu can get stuff we can cook for meals, like vegetables and meat.”

“I’m all fired up!!!” Natsu exclaimed, reaching for Gray’s hand. He pulled him to the frozen section in the back, already starting without a second thought.

“Well that settles that,” Sting said. “Let’s go, Rogue.”

“Right!” Rogue said, following Sting down to Aisle 4, where most of the snacks were located.

“What’re you in the mood for?” Sting had asked, grabbing boxes of assorted chips and cookies.

“Chocolate…” Rogue said subconsciously, reaching for a box of pocky sticks.

Sting laughed, and Rogue noticed a slight blush on his face. “A chocolate lover, huh? We’ll definitely be buying some chocolate then.”

Rogue felt like his eyes were literally sparkling as Sting showed him this one kind of chocolate called Dairy Milk, which was popular in the country of India.

“I think you’ll love this one, it’s really good,” he said, and Rogue took it without a second thought. As long as it involved chocolate, he didn’t have to think about wanting it or not. The answer was always yes.

“Or should I say, it’s dairy good,” Sting said then, and Rogue couldn’t stop the giggle bubbling up in his throat. That pun was awful but somehow…it’s funny, he thought.

“That wasn’t bad,” Rogue said, meeting Sting’s eyes.

“Oh, you butter believe it!” Sting replied, holding up a bag of buttered popcorn.

Rogue felt like the smile on his face was permanent now. He watched as Sting ran to grab multiple boxes of berries, and was surprised and slightly confused when he laid down on the floor, covering himself with the containers.

Before he could ask what he was doing, Sting said, “Look, I’m berried alive!”

Rogue burst into a fit of laughter, feeling so light and fluffy and free. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt happy like this, so full of life and unbridled laughter.

“I know my puns are cheesy,” Sting stated with a smile, holding up a packet of cheese, “But as long as you think they’re funny or even decent, I’ll continue to make them.” He stood up and put some boxes of berries into the shopping cart, then returned the others to the shelves.

“Please do,” Rogue responded, watching him. He figured he should help, but there weren’t a lot of boxes left to put away. Plus, watching Sting do something like this fascinated him in some way, like he was under a trance. There was just a nice flow to his movements, a fluid motion that made Rogue feel warm and calm.

Once the mess of berries was cleaned up, the two of them looked around to see if they were missing anything else. As they checked out a small section of sweets, they heard an all too familiar voice not too far away, and turned their heads towards the sound.

“Natsu, get off the shopping cart!” Gray yelled from across the aisle, struggling to push a cart full of items and one too exuberant Dragon Slayer.

“You’re just weak, Gray! You can’t even handle this weight?” Natsu retorted, laughing maniacally.

Rogue blinked twice, surprised even though he should have expected this.

“What can I say?” Sting said from beside him, picking up a box of graham crackers, “A shopping trip is never boring with those two around.”

Rogue was inclined to agree to this statement. Whatever they were doing, it seemed fun. He wished he could be that bold sometimes, to be able to speak his mind, be open about his feelings and just completely be himself, but it’d take a while for him to get even close to that level. He couldn’t focus on that too much now though, because there was another box of chocolates practically glowing in front of him, calling out to him to grab it and eat it up.

Sting got close to him then, his shoulder brushing up against Rogue’s. Rogue’s breath caught for a moment, and he could’ve sworn he felt his heart beating in his ears.

“Rogue, I just got a great idea,” Sting whispered, not bothering to leave even a centimeter of space between the two of them. His eyes flickered between the graham crackers and the chocolate he must’ve noticed Rogue was practically drooling over. “Let’s make s’mores!”

Rogue was about to agree, to tell him that it was a splendid idea, when suddenly, the world seemed to stop completely. Everything went silent with the exception of a high pitched ringing in his ears, his blood felt cold in his veins, and a lightheadedness overtook him, his body abruptly too heavy to support. As he gasped and reached for something to hold onto, which ended up being Sting’s shoulder as he later found out, everything started spinning, plunging him into a suspended-like state, as if he were floating inside an ocean, lost, helpless, and unable to breathe.

“S’mores are the best part of camping,” said a familiar voice.

A figure that looked just like Rogue started smiling, holding an item of food that resembled a s’more.

“Hey, Rogue?” the voice said, taking a bite out of the s’more-looking thing.

“Hm?” Rogue-look-alike-who-had-the-same-name-as-him said.

“Are you a campfire?”

“What?”

“Cuz you’re hot and I want s’more!”

“STING…YOU DIDN’T!!”

“I JUST DID.”

“Wh…what’s happening? What was that just now?” Rogue cried out once he found his voice again, the death grip on his lungs slowly loosening. He clutched his head, fingers scraping into his skin, leaving scars. He could finally move, and his breathing returned, coming out in fast, hitched puffs.

“Rogue…hey, are you alright? Talk to me!” a voice yelled in worry. It sounded very distorted, like an octave too high. Two arms were holding him up, but he could barely feel them, just the vibrating and numbness spreading into his body.

“Jeez, what’s happening? You two are making more of a ruckus than we are!” another voice yelled. “Seriously, there’s a bunch of boxes everywhere, even Natsu and I don’t make this much of a mess!”

The rest of the conversation only rang in his ears, so he couldn’t hear or understand what they were saying. Rogue shook his head rapidly, clearing his mind. When he finally calmed down enough to breathe normally, he realized he was clutching hard onto Sting, leaning against him as if letting go would cause him to fall into a deep, never-ending abyss from which he’d never return.

“Should we take him to a doctor?” Rogue recognized this is as Gray’s voice, once his ears regained their hearing.

“There’s no need, I’m okay for now,” he said quickly, his trembling hands still holding onto Sting. He wasn’t completely sure if that was the truth, but the weird pain from earlier had suddenly dissipated, and the only thing that bothered him now was what that whole ordeal was.

“What happened dude? Are you okay?” Even Natsu was nearby, worry evident in his tone.

“I’m sorry…I have no idea what happened just now. Sting was talking about something and suddenly…I heard voices…saw something strange…”

“We’ll take you home,” Sting said, holding him tighter. “I think you need some rest.”

“But…your shopping…did you get everything you needed?” Rogue asked, his voice raspy, barely a whisper. He didn’t want his situation to cause any trouble for them, especially after all they’d done for him.

“We got what we need, and hey, you don’t need to worry about that. Just focus on you right now, okay?” Sting told him, swinging one of Rogue’s arms across his shoulders. “Gray, Natsu, I’ll meet you guys at home. I’ll see you guys in a bit.”

“Be safe!” Natsu yelled as Sting made his way out the doors, carefully supporting Rogue. As Rogue slipped out of consciousness, he barely missed Sting telling them to buy more chocolate, and a small smile stretched across his face as his mind went dark once again.

________________________________

When Rogue came to, he was in a bed that had a distinctly familiar scent. It made him wonder where he was, but there were no lights on, so looking around wasn’t much of an option. To compensate, he felt around for something recognizable, but nothing his fingers brushed upon was something he owned. So he wasn’t in his own bed, that’s one thing he knew now. He decided to get up and figure this out, but as he sat up, something cold landed in his lap, surprising him. He picked it up and touched it, trying to see what it was through the small illumination coming in from the crack under the bedroom door.

It didn’t take long for him to discover that the cold slush was an icepack, one nicely wrapped in a towel, which had probably been sitting on his forehead for a while considering that most of it was dripping wet. The memory of earlier hit him then, making him shudder. At least, for now, he felt a lot better since then, almost as if that whole crazy thing never happened at all. He didn’t know how much time had passed since that moment, but he hoped it hadn’t been too long, since he did have the project to work on.

Wait, does this mean I’m still at Sting, Natsu, and Gray’s place? he wondered, pushing himself out of bed. Slowly, he made his way to the front of the room, being very careful not to trip on anything, and pulled the door open.

When he entered the main area of the house, he was blinded by flashing lights. At first he thought he was experiencing some sort of epilepsy, but soon realized that it was coming from a video game that Gray, Natsu, and Sting were playing. So he was still here.

He peeked over the edge and saw the three of them sitting on the rug, each with a controller in their hands as their fingers rapidly smashed different buttons.

“Sting, you’re such a cheater! Stop using Minato, his flashing is annoying as hell!” Gray was shouting, his dark hair a ruffled mess. He also wasn’t wearing anything except his boxers, which made Rogue wonder what was going on.

“Ha, you’re just mad cuz you can’t keep up! Natsu and I will show ya!” Sting boasted, pressing buttons to begin what seemed like the next match.

Rogue decided to stay put and watch from the shadows, curious about this game they were playing. He was never a confrontational type anyway, so he decided to enjoy the view from where he was until one of them noticed he was there and invited him to come join them.

Less than five minutes had passed when Sting’s chill, cocky attitude was replaced with some sort of rage, one that wasn’t scary yet still intense.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS? MY CHARACTER GLITCHED AND MY COMBO DIDN’T FREAKIN’ WORK!” he whined, tossing his controller at the couch behind them. “Gah, I hate tournaments against you guys sometimes!”

“Want me to hold that ‘L’ for you, Sting?” Gray said in a teasing manner, poking Sting in the cheek. Rogue observed this closely, noting that Sting had very squishy-looking cheeks. That softness reflected in his current outfit; he looked really comfy, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, a change from his normal clothing style.

“You’re a jerk!!” Sting practically exploded in frustration like a little science-experiment volcano, grabbing a nearby pillow and smacking Gray’s face with it.

“Oooh, pillow fight!” Natsu said once he had his eyes off the screen. He dropped his controller and reached for a pillow, a sadistic grin spreading across his face. As soon as he stood up and got into a predatory-like position, getting ready to leap at Sting most likely, he caught sight of Rogue and yelled, “Rogue!! You’re awake!”

Sting and Gray immediately stopped wrestling with the pillows and scrabbled their way onto the couch, peeking over the edge of it.

“Rogue! How are you feeling? Did you get enough rest? Was my bed okay? Were you comfortable?” Sting rambled on with questions, almost going on longer if Gray hadn’t smacked him in the back of the head.

“Chill out for a sec.” He looked at Rogue, a soft expression in his eyes. “I hope we didn’t wake you with our loudness. And sorry for Sting’s rage quitting, it’s not as bad as Natsu’s but it’s almost on the same level.”

“I do NOT rage quit!” Natsu argued, pointing a finger at Gray.

“Oh really now, Mr. I-should’ve-won-against-that-Akatsuki-combo?”

“You kept spamming it! That was a jerk move, Frosty!”

“It’s badass, that’s why!”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can spam it!”

“Do you remember how many vases we had to replace because you broke them?”

“That never happened!!”

“I have proof—“

“Guys, enough already!” Sting stopped them, pushing their heads apart from one another. “So, Rogue, you hungry?”

Rogue’s stomach beat him to a verbal answer when it grumbled loudly, and Rogue blushed in embarrassment, clutching the fabric of his shirt.

“Come on, let’s go eat what I made and begin working.” Sting turned off the Xbox and stood up, making his way into the kitchen. Rogue had been so drawn into figuring out what the others were doing that he didn’t even notice the delightful scent coming from behind him.

“Whatever you made, it smells really good,” he said, sniffing the air.

“I hope it tastes as good as it smells!” Sting said sheepishly, bringing a steaming hot pot over to the dining table.

“Oooh Sting did you make curry?!” Natsu asked, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth.

“Why yes, yes I did,” he answered, lifting the lid off the pot. Clouds of steam escaped into the air, giving the atmosphere a humid feel.

“You’re the best!” Natsu cheered, reaching for the serving spoon, only to have his hand slapped away by Gray’s. “Hey, what gives?!”

“Jeez, do you have any manners? Let Rogue have some first,” Gray scolded, clutching onto Natsu’s hand.

“Oh no, it’s okay, he can have some first!” Rogue insisted, shaking his head.

“Nah it’s cool Rogue, you go ahead and take some,” Sting said, holding his arm out in front of Natsu before he got the idea to hurl himself across the table to take some.

From the corner of his eye, Rogue caught a glimpse of Gray’s fingers intertwining with Natsu’s, or at least that’s what he thought he saw. He couldn’t be completely sure of it because Sting’s torso blocked the view when he reached to scoop some curry and rice onto Rogue’s plate, making Rogue blink in his daze.

“Okay, now you can have some,” Gray told Natsu, whose eyes were practically shimmering in delight. Their hands were apart, so Rogue figured he just imagined what he thought he saw.

Natsu swept in and took a huge spoonful of curry, licking his lips in the process. He grabbed nearly half of the rice out of the cooker and tossed it into the mix on his plate, then reached for his chopsticks. Before Rogue could even say ‘thank you for the meal,’ Natsu had finished his food and was rubbing his belly in content.

“Do you even breathe while you eat?” Sting asked in worry, sitting down after he and Gray had taken their share.

“I dunno, but Gray sure takes my breath away!” Natsu commented smoothly, which caused Gray to turn red. Gray was probably caught so off-guard by Natsu’s statement that he almost didn’t realize that he froze his chopsticks from the shock of embarrassment.

Before Rogue could understand what was happening, Gray pulled the book of demons out of his backpack and slammed it on the table, causing their plates to rattle.

“ANYWAYS, LET’S START ON THIS PROJECT ALREADY!” he squeaked out, shaking his head in an attempt to cool his face off.

“R-right…” Sting said, scratching his cheek. He began eating as Natsu took the book and opened it to the first page, getting ready to read it aloud since the rest of them were still finishing their meals.

“So what I’m understanding is that there are nine demons. We already picked which ones we want, but do you want me to go through the other ones?”

Gray refused to speak and Sting’s mouth was full, so Rogue built up a little confidence and answered. “That might be a good idea. Just in case we don’t find enough information about the demons we picked, we can decide on a back up one if that’s okay with you guys.”

Sting nodded, and Gray just gave a thumbs up as he stuffed his face with more food.

“Jeez Gray, lighten up a little. I didn’t think what I said would affect you that badly,” Natsu said, bumping his shoulder. Gray’s only response was a measly sound of some sort, and Natsu just shrugged it off. “Anyways, I’ll go ahead and read them and summarize it as much as I can.” He cleared his throat, turning to the page that had the first demon listed.

“Kyouka has some sort of body-manipulating curse. Not much is known about how it works exactly, but I wouldn’t want to be victim to it. Next is Jackal. He creates explosions, ones that are very destructive. Ooh, I wanna fight this guy! After that we have Tempester, who can control a bunch of natural disasters. Yikes, wouldn’t wanna get on his bad side. Then there’s Franmalth, who can absorb and manipulate souls. Holy shit…that’s insane! Torafuzar can summon poisonous water and he has bladed arms. Haha, he looks like a shark! Ezel has a bunch of limbs that he can turn into swords. Kinda like Erza, but she could totally kick his ass. Then there’s Seilah, who can control any person or object. Spooky… Keyes is a necromancer, whatever that means. And finally, not including the one under the hidden flap, there’s the one you guys picked, Silver Fullbuster. The book just says he’s an undead human exorcist mage who utilizes ice devil slayer magic…”

“Wait, what did you just say?” Gray finally spoke, nearly choking on his last bite.

“Gray… could that be…” Sting started, but Gray stood up suddenly, with so much force that his chair left a dent in the back wall.

“I’m sorry, but I need a second to think… Excuse me…” He ran towards the front door, and threw it open, running out with even bothering to close it behind him.

“Hey, Gray, wait!” Sting called, shoving the last spoonful of curry into his mouth.

Rogue stayed calm, but he felt paralyzed. He didn’t dare move another muscle, didn’t dare to say a word. He could feel the tension in the air almost as if it was a tangible, physical thing and not just a feeling.

From the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of Natsu running to the door and looking around for any sign of Gray, but apparently he’d completely disappeared.

“Where the hell are you, Gray?” Natsu shouted into the night, clutching onto the doorframe so hard it nearly shattered.

“Natsu…calm down, we’ll find him,” Sting said softly, coming up to him.

“I’m going after him. You two stay here,” Natsu yelled, completely ignoring Sting’s statement. “Don’t wait up on me if I’m late. I’m not coming back until I find him.”

He slammed the door shut as he left, startling Sting. Sting sat on the couch in defeat, still in shock from what just went down.

Rogue shakily let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in, and sat in the deadly silence of the once energetic, noisy household.

[theworstassassinever]

So I’m just going to put this here because I need to shout into the void? It is going to be long and ranty and personal, so whatever. 

There’s a possibility that the people this is referring to will see it, and like if that’s the case, so be it. If you do see this, know that I still care about you and whilst I’m angry now about everything, I’m not going to hold onto this resentment and I will forgive you. You’re not a bad person.  I’m hoping that putting this out there will finally get this shit out of my head. Because I’ve been going though phases of being fine, and the suddenly remembering and it’s shitty.  It is going to talk kinda in depth about someone else, and this will refer to some of their personal struggles because the whole incident revolves around that. But basically the story starts with having two friends who are very, very, very fucking sick. Like, one of them cannot stay out of hospital that’s how sick they are. I am going to refer to them as R and K.  I’ve been that kinda sick before, to a slightly lesser degree. It’s not fun. I get that it fucks with your brain, and you at your sickest is not who you really are as a person. And that’s why even though I am angry, I’m not going to hold on to my anger. Because I know deep down, this isn’t you. 

R is autistic, recently diagnosed. Now this friend has a habit of clinging to things they identify as and kinda making that the core of their personality. It’s been a few different things over the years, however they will pick an identity and then get very mad at anyone who they perceive as attacking them for it.  I’m not sure why they do this, but I think it’s because they are ill. See, mental health is like a house that you’re building. It takes self-care and attention to build the house, and whilst others can help you and will help you at the end of the day they can’t build the house for you. Houses are built on a foundation, however if you do not have a strong foundation (identity, self worth, sense of who you are) then anything you build on top of that foundation is going to crumble down at the slightest knock. And R? I don’t think they have a foundation, let alone a stable one.  And R used to message me a lot, mostly consisting of ‘This has happened to me, this is shit, I want someone to know about it’ and like whilst I care, sometimes they message me this when I am in a really bad place. Like last time they messaged me.  See I’d been going through a lot of personal things around this exact same time and I was already upset for various reasons. And then out of the blue I get R messaging me telling me how bad they’ve been treated by these people and how awful everything is, and it’s just like I get that you’re upset, but damn dude I’m already on a bloody downer myself I don’t think I can cope with anything else. Like I was feeling pretty depressed myself and like hearing someone else tell me about how bad things can get and how awful you are treated when you’re that bloody depressed and at the hospital isn’t something that I can deal with all of the time. It’s a lot.  And R told me that a health care professional said something about them, saying that they should speak up for themselves instead of having someone else speak for them. Which like, whilst I can understand the health care professional’s point and where they are coming from, I don’t think it was right for them to say it within the patient’s earshot and in a situation where you’re looking after an incredibly sick person who isn’t going to tell you what is wrong, it’s probably for the best if someone else speaks up and says what it wrong. However, I do not think that that the person themselves should not try to speak up.  Because I said that, R messaged me saying that it was against autistic people, that it was ableist and neurotypical standard that they should not be forced to uphold. And I was like, wait what. And I stated that I disagreed with their statement, that I did not think that someone saying that R should attempt to speak for themselves and not let someone else speak for them all the time is inherently ableist. However I did say that I thought the context in which the statement was said was extremely unprofessional and should never have happened.  R stopped replying to me, and like I knew instantly they were pissed at me. However, I thought this would be something that we’d get over and move on from and that R just needed some time to cool down. This was the last direct interaction I had with R. About two days later I got a long message from R’s girlfriend, K. Now K is someone who at the time, I would have considered a very close friend. I care a lot about K, and they haven’t had the easiest run in life. Like K is someone who has lived with me and my mum a few times because their own home is pretty unbearable.  This message started with them saying that they’d spoken to R, and wanted to hash some things out with me. The whole message felt very condescending, and it was very much of the tone ‘you know nothing about autistic people’. A direct quote from K’s message is “I think things need to be explained so people who aren't autistic, or aren't around autistic people a lot can understand.”  And that kinda made my blood boil. For some back context, I realised that neither K or R asked me how I was doing or anything about myself around about April? And I was curious to know weather this was just be being too sensitive to something or not realising, or if it was an actual thing that was happening. So I made a conscious decision to not offer information like I used to, and to wait until they asked me about my life, or what I was doing and that kind of thing.  And part of what annoyed me the most, was that for the past few months I had been unofficially seeing / casually dating someone. And the person who I was seeing was autistic.  Now again their autism wasn’t the main focus of our relationship (fucking obviously) but I did do quite a bit of research into finding out more about it and like talking to this guy about things and just in general spending most, if not all of my time, around this guy.  So for K, who I considered one of my closest friends, to basically talk down to me about autism and say that I clearly didn’t understand it or spend a lot of time around people with autism (also, another member of that same friend group is autistic might I add) really like offended me.  K didn’t know this about my life, and I connected the dots and realised that K didn’t know a lot of things about my life anymore that hurt because I always asked K about things, how uni was doing or R and other stuff because I cared. Everyone in my life knew about the guy I was casually seeing, and I realised that neither K or R did, because they never asked and i started to think that maybe they do not care.  I even asked this guy himself, told him what had gone down and asked if I was being ableist and I even asked a few different people who I knew to see if i had done wrong and just couldn’t see it. Some people didn’t word their responses kindly, but the consensus was, wtf?  I was stuck in this conversation, feeling like I was being talked down to, realising that these people did not actually know really about my life, not being able to disagree with them on a certain point, and i thought to myself, this isn’t healthy. I was being told that I cannot speak on the issue, that what I think doesn’t matter because I wasn’t autistic. I don’t get to decide what is and isn’t ableist, however wouldn’t anyone who was accused of such a thing try to defend themselves? Especially if they wholeheartedly believed that the statement wasn’t true.  K messaged me to explain and defend themselves for speaking up and telling the mental health professionals things about R and that was fine. And it is fine, K had every right to do that. Just like I have every right to tell someone that, hey I do not agree with you and i think you are wrong.  And fundamentally I realised that I could not disagree with R, and in turn that meant K.  K also told me that ‘Yes autistic people can learn to change how they communicate but why should they? Why should an individual constantly distress themselves and tell themselves they aren't good enough to learn to communicate how "normal" people do’ And my response to that is, no one is telling an autistic person that they are not good enough. No one has said such a thing. I think that maybe R is insecure about being autistic, that they feel bad about it when it is not something to feel bad or ashamed of at all. Autism is not something that will hold you back from achieving anything, it may mean that it takes you longer to do certain things, that you need more help and patience and support whilst doing things, but I do not believe that it excludes you from doing those things either.  No one is telling themselves that autistic people are not good enough, because they are good enough. Some of the sweetest, kindest, most intelligent people who I have met in my life have been autistic. They are good enough to learn to communicate.  I think it is good for them to push themselves to use words and speak to people, because especially when coupled with social anxiety you can create a fear of speaking to people in your head and by not even attempting to speak, you are reinforcing this fear in your head.  The only way you are going to get better at communicating is to practice doing it. Again I do not think that being autistic gives you an excuse to not try to speak or do anything. I do not think that is problematic. I just do not. I may be wrong in thinking that, but I do not feel as if I should be made out to be a bad person for having that point of view.  I should be able to disagree with my friends without it turning into a massive blow out and completely breaking up a friendship. 

So I composed a long messaged.  Now I am not going to lie, this message was harsh.  I told them that I understood a fair amount about autism, more than they believed I did anyway. I told them that I spent time around people with autism. I stated that whilst I understood everyone was different that I did not understand why they expected everything to change for them, and that they seemed to expect these changes to happen overnight whilst the world does not work like that.  Change happens gradually over time, and other people need time to get used to things. You cannot just force things upon other people, because the more do you that, the more someone tries to reject that viewpoint.  I said in regards to R and how they are treated, everything is awful and nothing is ever good enough. Everything seemed to be awful, and problematic, and everything was derogatory and bad and no one ever seemed to be kind to R or say anything that wasn’t directly attacking them.  I stated that I was scared to speak my opinions, tell them things about my life or say things that I truly think because I believed they would just brand me as ‘toxic’ or ‘problematic’ and that a disagreement would become a big issue.  I told them that I believe both K and R, but R especially, victimises themselves and takes everything as a personal attack even when they don’t need to. That everything is doom and gloom and going to hurt you or attack you, when if you look at the world from a much healthier mindset that it isn’t the case. (again, going back to the strong foundation, which neither R or K have because they are sick).  I stated that they only see the world like that because of their illnesses, and that it is easier to focus and blame other people for what is wrong and what is going on, because especially when you are that sick it is harder to focus on your own issues or what is going wrong with you.  Calling everyone else ‘problematic’ because they do not agree with you, isn’t healthy. Taking everything as a personal attack on your and your character, isn’t healthy.  K and R need to reflect on why they feel like that, realise that those patterns of behaviour are not healthy and are just making them feel even more sick. It’s a downward spiral that they are never going to climb out of until they break it. They need to focus inwards and internally, fix themselves and help themselves and put on your own goddamn oxygen mask before they go out and try to fix the world.  I stated that if someone else was constantly in the wrong, that they did not have to examine their own behaviour and look at what they were doing, I told them that if someone was hurting you and attacking you, that you feel powerless to stop them and you do not do anything. You absolve yourself of power, when in reality you have more power over that situation than you ever realise.  I said that their world views were very skewed because of how sick both K and R are. R will happily walk around with fresh self harm cuts and burns with them out on display, and not realise how harmful or triggering that could be to anyone else. They used to have the saying that implied self harm wasn’t bad because it stopped you from attempting suicide, which is an awfully dangerous and super unhealthy mindset to have.  Both of them together create a toxic environment, where one negative thing leads into another. Where R is constantly telling K how bad things are, how awful the world is and when K is hearing them things constantly, K is going to start believing that and it will in turn make K worse.  With both of them together, feeding into the same cycle, neither will get better. And it breaks my heart because when both of them are healthier, they are amazing extraordinary people who I care for a lot.  But when they are sick? It is awful. I told them that every conversation we had revolved around R’s illness, because it did. Every single conversation any of us had ended back to that. I pointed out that they didn’t know anything about what I had done in the past year, that they had never asked and did not seem to care. And it fucking hurts when you care about someone more than they care about you. It’s awful. I said that neither of them seem to care about anything other than themselves or their illnesses, that it was unhealthy and it was too much for me to deal with because being in that one-sided relationship where you are constantly providing support and care but getting nothing back would drain even the most selfless of people. It creates a negative impact on your mental health, and when you are already feeling bad and like depression is trying to drag you down into the abyss, the last thing you need is someone telling you how awful everything is and trying to claw you down as well. I told them that I deserved better than a one-sided friendship, that I deserve friends who I can disagree with without being made to feel like a bad person, I deserve friends who ask how I'm doing and know things about my life and actually care about me.   I’m not wrong there. I do have friends like that, other friends and I love them.  I ended the message by saying that even though I cared about both of them, I needed a break and to be away from them because it was negatively impacting my own mood. I had to put on my own oxygen mask, and help myself before I could help anyone else. Because at the end of the day, I am the only person who can fix me. And they can only fix themselves.  The message I got was a ‘if that’s how you think and feel, then that is that, if you need space and time away do that, I’m not going to write a long message back’. And like, in a way I could understand it but it also broke my heart. I felt like K did not care enough to fight or put effort into our friendship that we’d had since we were 14. It felt like one disagreement, and they were just ready to throw it all away and that hurt like a bitch.  They stated that they were not even going to say anything, not try to sort out any of the issues with me or communicate. It was just radio silence.  However I decided that, maybe it was for the best and what I wanted. I was willing to leave things at that for a while.  UNTIL TWO HOURS LATER. I got a message, from a friend of K and R’s who shall be named S.  S messaged me saying how me saying that I’d be better off without R and K was very triggering, how S would never call them selfish because R cared about other people and their animals, how knowing one autistic people didn’t mean that you understood autistic people (not hypocritical at all...), how S disagreed with me saying that they viewed themselves as a victim, how S witnessed a different side to things and how S didn’t want me to lose a friendship over a disagreement.  Well guess what S? Your message was the reason why I decided to terminate the friendship.  I have never spoken to S before in my life. I didn’t even know S was someone who existed. However I felt violated that K had not only shared the message I had sent, but twisted the words.  I never said that I would be better off without K or S, I said that I deserved better friends who cared about me and that I needed time away from them to look after myself because they were a lot. I never called anyone selfish.  And it was the fact that my words got twisted in such a way, that S had been told so much and decided to message me, that K couldn’t say anything to try and fix our relationship but was more than happy to rant about how awful I was to S? That the message had been shared with R, and they too had been ranting to S and other mutual friends.  That was too much, especially after I said that I needed time away and that I needed space. I was made out to seem like such a bad and awful person, however none of this was said to me.  I messaged S asked them to never speak to me again, but then at 3am when I was upset and angry and hurt I send a long message back which I when through their points. I unfriended both K and R, because I didn’t like the idea of someone who was so willing to say shit about me behind my back and be so unwilling to talk things through with me or say it directly to me being labelled as a ‘friend’.  I said what I needed to say directly to K, knowing that R would read it. So much awful things have been said about me behind my back and not to my face. I blocked R on facebook, because I did not want them to contact me (i also sent a link to a taylor swift song containing the lyrics ‘did you think i wouldn’t hear all the things you said about me?’ because i was angry and petty as fuck). However, the line for K to talk to me is still open, because I still care about K and whole fucking lot.  R went on to message a mutual friend that I had said awful things about autistic people, painting me in an bad light and the mutual friend even messaged me to get my side of the story knowing that I would never deliberately be that malicious.  Which upsets me, why talk shit about me to a mutual friend when you are not willing to say anything directly to me?  But no, I’m the bad person who got a whole entire facebook status written about them. I’m the person who gets told ‘screw you’ by K even though before this incident, I fucking cared about K so much and would do pretty much anything for them. But no, I’m awful and screw me. It is a lot.  And I want this to be over with.  I want to stop hurting about my ‘friends’ doing this to me. If they truly knew who I was, they would know that I’m not malicious or vindictive or someone who hates another person because they are autistic.  Sure, especially when I am hurt or in a bad place I am harsh and blunt but does that make me bad? No. If they knew me at all, they would know that.  It hurts to care about someone, and then realise that evidently they do not give that much of a fuck about you. It hurts that someone is so willing to trash you to mutual friends and try to turn them against me just to make themselves feel better.  It hurts, but I’m stronger than that hurt. And here is the thing. I’m upset, I am angry. I don’t think that I explained myself the clearest or did everything right. I am not always right.  However, I am not a bad person. I know who I am, and I know who I am not.  I don’t blame you for being hurt, I don’t blame you for being angry. I do think you treated me awfully, and should take a long hard look at yourself and your actions and not do it to someone else.  I think once you get past the stage of hating me and writing screw you messages, maybe you will be able to realise that I’m not the awful person you think I am.  K, if you want to talk or sort things out, that door is open for when you are not angry and when you do not hate me anymore. If you never want to talk or do not get to that point, it is fine, but if you do you know how to contact me. I still care about you a lot and wish you well. Your actions have hurt me, but it isn’t anything I won’t come back from.  You’re a good person, and you need to look after yourself and take some time away from the whole situation, from everyone involved including me and R and work on yourself. You are stronger than your issues.  I don’t know what else to say. I’ll forgive both of them eventually, because holding on to the hurt and the anger is only hurting me. It’s something that I will get over, and i hope by sending this out into the void and getting this off my chest that maybe I’ll be able to forget about it and move on. For now, peace out. x 

[rainwashedhistory]

Quarantine Journal

Apparently I am incapable of maintaining a daily pace -- part of this is trying to fit ONE day in at a time and finish the day and then forgetting the next morning.  I'ma TRY to get back to it but let's go a little free-form right now.  Maybe I'll start posting weekly instead?  Today is 6/13.  Some shit's gone down.

Shawn, my old boss from WWP died.  I feel bad that I never got to tell him what he meant to me.  I wrote a pretty long memorial thing on insta/facebook.  I'ma repost it here too... with a couple, more honest updates.  Readmore at the end.

I'm planning to go up to Redding for Shawn's memorial right after Father's day.  Terrified of COVID but hey.  This only is going to happen once.  I'm gonna stay with my high school bestie, and hopefully see my friends Aleesha and Robyn, at least.  And get some chicken rolls.  The sushi place we used to go to is under new ownership buuuuuut.  And this will almost certainly be the last time in my life I'm ever going to go to waterworks park, so let's make it count, I guess?  I bought a cute romper onepiece swimsuit that hides a bit of the quarantine bod.

On the way to Redding, I am officially gonna hit up Liz's place!  I miss my girl. Need to meet Connor!

Stafford House is officially gone for good.  I have cleaned out my classroom.  There are rumblings that the school might be bought by another co. that wants to do more vocational training -- fingers crossed that happens and that I'll have a job there?  Yikes. Hello Future, indeed.  I also stole my CAE books.  Hell if I'm giving those back.  I also took my test binders and a few mini-whiteboards that Patti offered

There's been a ton of BLM protests here.  I feel guilty af that I haven't been to a single one or done much of anything -- I just don't feel safe doing so.  Both physically, at protests where cops are pretty openly inciting violence, and... situationally?  OANN is quartered here, and if my parents see me at one of them, I stg they'll kick me out of my place.  Things downtown are pretty boarded up.  And like I'd be donating but I need to fucking save my money because COVID relief unemployment is not gonna last forever.

I spent like 2 weeks not talking to mom.  Had a call with her a couple days ago, though, and it was... fine.  No major yelling about politics.  Phew.

Therapy... I went this week.  Meh.  I'm not sure it's helping all that much.  I really want to start going in person again, this teletherapy stuff is balls.

I've been applying to jobs.  It's the worst.  Especially because even though there are a handful of job postings, with COVID, who even knows what'll happen.  will schools reopen?  I should really start pouring myself into the online teaching stuff but so many sites make it so difficult.  I re-applied to ALI, god give me strength.  And I need to re-apply to Miramar.  SIGH.

I'm hanging out more and more (every saturday) with Ricky, Mat, Stazia, and Nick.  This is helping give me some balance.  And kitty time. Whenever their skittish cats come chill with me I feel blessed.

I killed my sourdough starter, somehow.  All orange tinged.  Nick gave me a new one (dried).  I built it back up and have since found a me hair, a cat hair, and a big ass bug in it.  WTF?  It still... looks good though?  Gonna give it a bit to see if it goes off, too.

Meals for this week incluced hot honey butter-glazed chicken, fettuccine pasta & mushrooms, and one-pan vegetable udon.  All three were good but not necessarily mind-blowing.  I probably should start food logging again?

Painted my nails all pride-y.  Will post a pic later.

Bought lighting for computer desk and bedroom, FINALLY

Cats seem mostly flea-free, though mimosa is still not sleeping on the bed like a psycho

FINALLY (like 8 months later) got my car engine steam cleaned, will try to get an appointment to get my engine checked before I try to drive up to fucking Redding

Got the prelim documents in for my RealID.  I need to get an appointment at the DMV but they're not scheduling them right now

School starts Monday. I am nooooot ready.

Mortgage is delinquent?  Inquiring about COVID relief stopped payment on our autopay and now things are all messed up.  SIGH I hope this doesn't go on my credit.

Haven't been walking nearly enough.  It's really hard to make myself shift into that again, and frankly I need to.  It's been three months since I've worked out at all.

Keeping up with RnM with Erica.... it's a fucking wild ride and I'm soooo glad she loves it as much as I do

Started playing Assassin's Creed Odyssey.  It's fun af, but also not like... engrossing like HZD was, which means I don't feel too cranky when I can't play.  holy SHIT the world is huge tho.  And gorgeous.  But again, maybe... too huge, and too samey-same.  I get that that's the region, but I loved how HZD changed so much depending on the area you were.  SPEAKING OF HZD, the news about H2FW came out and hooooly shit I am hyped.  We're going to Cali!

Here have some more mask GPOYs

Other stuff:

Temp still normal, in the high 97/low 98 range

RHR is hovering around 64-67

Steps have been in the 2-3000 range, yikes

Weather has been lovely, why am I not going out more???

Ok fam, that's it.  Time to shower, get dressed, and head over to R&M's for weekly mandated social time.

source

https://katalyst.livejournal.com/494991.html

Shawn, you were my first, and one of my best mentors. You promoted me to management when I was an anxious, terrified, by-the-book 18 year old who had absolutely no idea why she was even considered for the position. You had so much faith in me and my abilities and you were the most patient boss I have ever had -- you taught me every year, for years, how to start up the pumps again, until I literally could do it in my sleep, even now, over a decade later. You taught me how to fix almost anything in the park, and you never acted like there was anything I was too fragile or stupid to do -- even when others did.

You were tough, and I never wanted to get on your bad side... but you were also supremely kind -- I remember you yelling at almost everyone, at least once, except me. Even when I deserved it and I made mistakes that would cost the company money. I remember begging you to take it out of my paycheck and you just stopping and laughing and telling me it was okay, just not to do it again. I think you knew I would crumble, and all you ever wanted to do was build me up.

You knew the value, and the joy in a hard day's work... and you also knew how to take it easy, and that both are vitally important. I remember the day I slept straight through my alarm and you opened the whole park without calling me, just to give me a little break. I remember the way you taught me that management was never above any job -- if you expected your employees to do something, you'd always pitch in and show them that you weren't too good to clean a toilet, too. I'll never forget your 36 hour days, or your calling in well to work, or shiraz Saturdays. I desperately miss sitting in your office or up on the side of the river ride and eating pizza and talking. Everything I loved about Waterworks really came down to working with you and the community you helped foster there.

You taught me how to find my voice and stand on my own two feet in a job that I found utterly terrifying, after living with a family where I never had one. You were a second dad to me -- one who stuck up for me, who was always in my corner. I honestly don't think, if it weren't for you, that I would have found the confidence to pursue teaching. There is so much good in my life that you helped me reach for, and I will always be grateful.I'll be opening a big bottle of Yellowtail this Saturday in your honor. I miss you.

[terrablaze514]

I hate October (sorry)

Writing, somewhat done. Still have more to go.

My mind is jumbled, though.

I haven't eaten all day.

Sleep has been awful this week. On and off. Last night I drooled on my pillow. Two nights ago were nightmares.

Rumbling intestines the previous night - what did I eat that's caused that?

Lightheaded dizziness at work. I had to pace my movements at times to prevent fainting.

Gassy, just like the outer planets in our Solar System.

Hurt my thumb yesterday.

Risked my future OAP to make up for what went wrong two days ago.

Crying on the inside.

Accidentally poured hydrogen peroxide on my hand, which caused discoloration on my chocolate fingers.

Amber Guyger's 10-year prison sentence.

Liberals and Conservatives in the lead... Pfft.

Greta Thunberg's parents.

Cancel culture hurting comic book characters.

Facebook and Twitter notifications are irrelevant. I don't care what people ate, if they didn't shower, or if they're going to this event and that cookout and ((more irrelevant details here)).

Idiots on Instagram and YouTube, watering down religion while supporting r*c*sm and p*d*ph*lia.

Terrible migraine.

Sometimes I can't breathe.

Witnessed a one-sided altercation behind closed doors while the people who were close by recorded it on their phones and act shocked.

People who hate The Joker (WTF???)

Confusing weather.

Andrew Scheer.

Justin Trudeau.

Anxiety's been kicking in rather frequently.

Halloween decorations that I don't care about when I shop or mind my business. Sims is doing a Halloween special that I can't opt out of. Everyone will be posting Halloween stuff for a while, which means I'll take a hiatus from social media (be less present). Don't be fooled by queued posts. I don't like Halloween nor pranks during that period (was haunted by snakes on my bed and moving statues growing up).

Phone will get cut off in a few days.

Relatives getting sick.

I should hit the sack, but I need to eat 'cause I haven't touched any food yet! Then I can't sleep good because I have to sit up and wait.

Maybe I can watch some anime, or one of my movies without interruptions.

Election day is coming up, and everyone is phucked.

Put my next haircut on hold.

Too many spambots following me. Roughly six this week. I hope @Automattic can resolve this issue - one of these days.

Need to buy new pants because my waist is too small and I can't exercise/move around if the camel zone is ripped.

Kevin Feige to do a Star Wars reboot... I am wholeheartedly against this idea. Stick to the propagation of MCU and leave Star Wars alone!

The father of Bothem Jean, and the judge in that courtroom.

Tumblr tags not working, hence my fear of posting (what if the post gets flagged or eaten up?)

No more crap for the rest of this month. That's all I'm hoping for. Signing off - I'll get back to some of y'all in the DMs tomorrow. After that, I'll disappear because I don't have the energy to process craptober...

[noonetosmilefor]

let’s get personal.

I got asked by @hopedreamssoul & @speak-fluent-sarcasm to answer all these 99 questions, so here we go. x

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? - Wide Eyed by Billy Lockett, Stronger Than Ever by Raleigh Ritchie, Dusk Till Dawn by Zayn ft. Sia, Wo die wilden Maden graben by Casper,  Sorry by Halsey and Why by Skinny Living.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Probably Tom Hiddleston, who am I kidding.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. - “It is a marked house, lad.”

4: What do you think about most? - My future and problems.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? - Just “😂😂”.

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? - Without.

7: What’s your strangest talent? - That I can be annoying af.

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) - Girls are gorgeous; Boys are gorgeous.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? - Yes.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? - On Nova Rock this year.

11: Do you have any strange phobias? - No, I don’t think so.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? - Yep.

13: What’s your religion? - On the paper it says Christian but nah.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? - Going to work.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? - All Time Low.

17: What was the last lie you told? - “Oh yeah, we’re at home.”

18: Do you believe in karma? - YES.

19: What does your URL mean? - Two words a good friend of mine said to me.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? - Greatest weakness: That I’m kind of a perfectionist; greatest strength: I’m really spontaneous.

21: Who is your celebrity crush? - Tom Hiddleston, Tom Holland, Alex Gaskarth, Avan Jogia.. man I just can’t decide.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? - Nope.

23: How do you vent your anger? - I talk about it to someone who understands and listens.

24: Do you have a collection of anything? - Harry Potter & LOTR books in all kinds of variations if that counts.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Talking on the phone.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? - Currently not at all.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? - Sound I hate: Wet shoes while driving; sound I love: The meows of my cats.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? - What if I told you how I felt?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - YES AND YES!

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. - Right arm: My Stark Logo cushion; Left arm: My phone charger.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? - Candles and fresh bed sheets.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? - That one Sushi restaurant in Vienna, uagh. 

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? - West Coast.

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? - Alex Gaskarth.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? - To be genuinely happy with what you do and yourself. To learn new things and travel the world.

36: Define Art. - Art is whatever you think is beautiful to yourself.

37: Do you believe in luck? - Kinda.

38: What’s the weather like right now? - Rainy and gray. 

39: What time is it? - A quarter to 11 pm.

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? - Yes and also yes.

41: What was the last book you read? - A Song Of Ice and Fire (A Clash of Kings) by George R. R. Martin.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? - Yes.

43: Do you have any nicknames? - Yes.

44: What was the last film you saw? - Bullyparade.

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? - I guess my broken arms.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? - Yes.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? - Not really.

48: What’s your sexual orientation? - Heterosexual.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? - Yes, I think so.

50: Do you believe in magic? - OF COURSE.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? - Yeah, depends on the situation and the person.

52: What is your astrological sign? - Cancer.

53: Do you save money or spend it? - Oh how I wish I’d save it...

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? - A train ticket.

55: Love or lust? - Lust.

56: In a relationship? - HAHA, nope.

57: How many relationships have you had? - Serious ones, 2.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? - No.

59: Where were you yesterday? - Mostly in bed or in the kitchen.

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? - Nope.

61: Are you wearing socks right now? - No.

62: What’s your favourite animal? - Cat.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? - It’s not a secret but I really joke a lot (also about myself) that usually get’s people.

64: Where is your best friend? - I think in bed sleeping right now.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. - @hopedreamssoul, @speak-fluent-sarcasm, @vivienvalentino, @lifeismymiracle, @unknown-terrain. <3

66: What is your heritage? - Uhhhh..

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? - I was asleep.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? - Due to an insider, I guess it’s @hopedreamssoul‘s last name.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? - Yes.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? - No way.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? - I rescue the dog and would be seen as a hero and would be interviewed in a few tv shows, so fuck that job honestly.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? - a) I don’t think I would tell anyone, I don’t want anyone to be worried about me. b) Travel the world. c) Yes, I think so.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. - Trust.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? - Lost In Stereo by All Time Low.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? - 6963.

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? - Trust, humor and adventures.

77: How can I win your heart? - Be respectful, have manors, make me laugh and DON’T be homophobic or racist.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? - I think it takes a little insanity for someone to be creative.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? - To graduate from school with very good grades.

80: What size shoes do you wear? - 39.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? - Uagh, finally I can lay down.

82: What is your favourite word? - Wtf.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. - A name.

84: What is a saying you say a lot? - “Same.”

85: What’s the last song you listened to? - Stronger Than Ever by Raleigh Ritchie.

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? - Blue.

87: What is your current desktop picture? - A sunset over the sea.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? - I’m not that kind of person. No one deserves to explode, well maybe a few people, but nah.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - Are you in love? BECAUSE I DON’T FUCKING KNOW THE ANSWER.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? - I’d scream and maybe rub my eyes to check if it’s real and after that I may be going back to bed.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? - I can fly now.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? - A ghost train ride with my “second mom” who passed away 5 years ago.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? - The death of my “second mom”.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? - Well, Harry Styles, because we wouldn’t sleep with each other we’d just sing to Best Song Ever on repeat.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? - Auckland.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? - Not that I know of.

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? - No.

98: Ever been on a plane? - Yes.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? - I’m tired, man.

[hemsworths-chris]

some tag games

stuff is under the cut

tagging: @tcrtarus, @ctaeth, @fleurrdelacour @jilys, @blcise, @nargles, @pctter, @infaernal, @petrichovr, and @franciskinloch; you don’t have to do these if you don’t want to 

first one:

was tagged by @asoftdante!

if i were a month, i’d be: june or may or september if i were a day of the week, i’d be: tuesday or saturday if i were a planet, i’d be: mercury if i were a sea animal, i’d be: sea slug seahorse if i were a god/goddess, i’d be: hestia or athena  if i were a piece of furniture, i’d be: a beanbag lmao if i were a gemstone, i’d be: turquoise or sapphire if i were a flower, i’d be: blue columbine corpse flower if i were a kind of weather, i’d be: sunny day with few clouds if i were a colour, i’d be: the color of the tropical sea if i were an emotion, i’d be: almost drunk happiness if i were a fruit, i’d be: strawberry if i were a sound, i’d be: laughter if i were an element, i’d be: fire if i were a place, i’d be: bookstore if i were a mythological creature, i’d be: phoenix if i were a taste, i’d be: spice if i were a scent, i’d be: vanilla/coconut if i were an object, i’d be: a laptop or a gel pen if i were a body part, i’d be: fingers, lips, eyes if i were a song, i’d be: non-stop / hamilton (oops) if i were a pair of shoes, i’d be: black low converses

next:

tagged by @njmphadora (whose formatting i borrowed oops), and a similar one by @stagpotter and @ohpottecr 

rules - put your music on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people!

  1.   miss jackson // panic! at the disco feat. lolo   2.   96000 // lin-manuel miranda + obc of in the heights   3.   i’m so sorry // imagine dragons   4.   something wild // lindsey stirling feat. andrew macmahon   5.   in your pocket // maroon 5   6.   gold // kiiara   7.   galway girl // ed sheeran   8.   young and menace // fall out boy   9.   smile // mikky ekko 10.   angel with a shotgun // the cab

also some other songs i’m vibing to (as @stagpotter had in their tag): location // khalid; heaven in hiding // halsey; fourth of july // fall out boy; all i want // kodaline (yeah my taste is Basic)

next:

i was tagged by @ilithiyas! 

RULES: Using only song titles of one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag 20 people.

Artist/Band: Fall Out Boy What is your gender: You're Crashing But You're No Wave How do you feel: Where Did the Party Go / The Mighty Fall / Honorable Mention If you could go anywhere: Saturday Favourite Mode of Transportation: Moving Pictures / Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Your Best Friend: Golden / Miss Missing You Favourite Time of the Day: Eternal Summer / Calm Before The Storm If Your Life Was a Tv Show: Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes / Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Relationship Status: From Now on, We Are Enemies / Alone Together / Caffeine Cold Your Fear: Growing Up / The Mighty Fall

next:

tagged by @alrightevains and @asoftdante <3

you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (damn)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: tea

2. Phone call: don’t recall

3. Text message: group chat of friends on hangouts

4. Song you listened to: apparently run away by chase atlantic

5. Time you cried: don’t remember

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice: single always

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: not in a relationship

9. Lost someone special: y e s

10. Been depressed: sorta, depends on how you define the word

11. Gotten drunk: off happiness? yeah. out of alcohol? no

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14: aqua, the color of the hawaiian sea; navy blue, almost black; lime green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: many online, some irl

16. Fallen out of love: sorta

17. Laughed until you cried: ofc

18. Found out someone was talking about you: far too often

19. Met someone who changed you: loads of my friends

20. Found out who your friends were: almost

21. Kissed someone on your fb list: wha

GENERAL: 22. How many of your fb friends do you know irl: don’t use fb

23. Do you have any pets: I WANT A FUCKING CAT SO BADLY OML

24. Do you want to change your name: maybe idk prob not

25. What did you do for your last birthday: sleepover with friends

26. What time did you wake up: depends - 7:15 on schooldays, 10:30 on weekends/summer

27: What were you doing at midnight last night: snoozing

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the rest of season 4 of turn; fob’s new album; the start of high school

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a minute ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my mediocrity at everything

31. What are you listening to rn: distant conversation

32. Have you talked to a person named Tom: i don’t think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: slow wifi

34. Most viewed website: prob tumblr rip

35. Mole/s: a few

36. Mark/s: a few

37. Childhood dream: becoming an astronomer or a writer, and it’s still the same

38. Hair colour: black

39. Long or short hair: medium

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope, i don’t Get crushes weirdly enough

41. What do you like about yourself: nothing, mainly? i can write decently sometimes and occasionally i get my shit together in debate

42. Piercings: one per ear

43. Bloodtype: i don’t know and nor do my parents rip

44. Nickname: more like mispronounciations 

45. Relationship status: single, thankfully

46. Zodiac: sagittarius

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: turn: washington’s spies and the late show with stephen colbert tbh

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right ot left hand: right

51. Surgery: none yet

52. Piercing: again, one per ear

53. Sport: volleyball, used to swim

55. Vacation: i’m on vacation in india rn

56. Pair of trainers: nikes

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: something i wanna do rn - i like pasta lmao

58. Drinking: nothing

59. I’m about to: finish this freaking ask meme

61. Waiting for: july 11 when we get back, and aug 23 when school starts

62. Want: to go back to california

63. Get married: hopefully not

64. Career: astrophysicist? lawyer? writer?

WHICH IS BETTER ? 65. Hugs or kisses: haven’t gotten any kisses on the lips, but hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc i’m tol

68. Older or younger: idk? younger prob

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms

71. Sensitive or loud: loud

72. Hook-up or relationship: er? idk?

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: t r o u b l e m a k e r

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: never had either

77. Turned someone down: probably on something

78. Sex on the fist date: i’m fucking 14

79. Broken someones heart: maybe prob not

80. Had your heart broken: on a shallow level

81. Been arrested: yes i’m secretly on the run bc i was arrested for murder wtf

82. Cried when someone died: no one i’ve known has died yet, thankfully

83. Fallen for a friend: not rly

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not rly

85. Miracles: sorta

86. Love at first sight: sorta

87. Santa Claus: nah

88. Kiss on the first date: perhaps, depends on circumstance

89. Angels: no, not rly

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: elena

91. Eyecolour: dark brown

92. Favourite movie: i love the now you see me series, and wonder woman was incredible

[dherzogblog]

THE DARK ANGEL OF THE ALLMAN BROTHERS

The Allman Brothers were the first true rock band I ever loved. A guitar band for a kid who didn’t really like guitar bands. More importantly, they became a gateway drug for me.
The band’s sound combined blues, country, rock, and jazz, creating their own unique version of Americana. I could draw a straight line from them to my love of everything from Willie Nelson and Taj Mahal to Bobby “Blue"Bland and Weather Report. 
I discovered them originally at summer camp. I’m guessing 1972. “Live At The Fillmore West” or “Eat A Peach” could be heard blaring from every cabin. Duane Allman had already passed away becoming an instant rock martyr/ guitar legend in the process., and bass player Berry Oakley died a year later. By the time I came aboard, the band’s future seemed very much in doubt. Then, against all odds, they delivered their commercial breakthrough with “Brothers And Sisters” in 1973. It ignited shouts of “sell out” from the purists while simultaneously jump starting the 70’s Southern rock boom. 
But things quickly turned sour for the group as success, drugs and numerous other issues left them in shambles by the mid/late 70’s. Group members splintered off into bands like Dicky Betts & Great Southern, and Sea Level. 
Gregg’s post Allman solo era was particularly confusing. First there was his WTF marriage to Cher, followed by their god awful album together. Then even more disappointingly was his testimony against a former road manager in a drug trial. Finally it all completely fell apart in bitterness and acrimony.
There were ups and downs for many years after …reunion albums followed by break ups, followed by more shitty reunion albums, followed by break ups.
Somehow in 1987, against the odds, Gregg scored a solo chart hit with “I’m No Angel” that surprisingly garnered heavy rotation on MTV. 
By 1990 there was a pretty decent reunion record and reconstituted band that had added monster guitarist Warren Haynes, and bassist Allen Woody to the mix. There was also an early MTV Unplugged taping (no small thanks to myself and Van Toffler) that alongside the emerging “Jam Band” movement suddenly put the rejuvenated group back on the radar and back on the road to strong notices.
In 1992 they began an annual residency at The Beacon Theater each March in NYC that would continue until 2014. I remember attending a show during that first run. I raised some eyebrows at MTV by forgoing a U2 (Zoo TV Tour) show that night in favor of my beloved ABB. 
I would catch that U2 show later, one of the greats for sure. (I can hear all you U2 fans gasping as I write this) The choice for me that night was easy, reconvene with a band I was emotionally attached to, versus seeing one that I just never connected with in that same way. 
I had organized the night with some of my oldest friends to check out one of our favorite bands and enjoy a night of nostalgia and classic rock. What we heard that evening surprised us all. While we were treated to a number of our favorite songs, they were all played with an intensity and purpose that elevated them way beyond an oldies show. 
The addition of Warren, Woody (who would also later pass away), and ultimately Derek Trucks helped evolve the band into something really exciting and fresh. These musicians pushed the old music forward, created new music along the way, and transformed the band into an exciting ensemble that never failed to disappoint live. I made it to at least one show nearly every year, even after moving to LA. You never got the same set twice, improvisation and musicianship was given equal weight to playing the hits the fans wanted.
In the last few years they would have special guests join them, whose presence could influence the tone of the show. For instance, if the Asbury Horns were on hand, you might get a more bluesy, R&B influenced set with some Last Waltz style covers. 
One night up in Harlem (the year The Beacon was being remodeled), I heard a mind bending jazz rock set with James “Blood” Ulmer that would have made the “Bitches Brew” era Miles Davis proud.
The band lasted way longer than they had any right to, managing to evolve and expand, inspiring transcendent performances when most of their peers were just out touring the hits. Over the last 25 years they actually improved their brand. The dynamic collective of musicians staying true to the group’s original ideals, yet managing to move forward in their own way. Throughout the years, rooting for Gregg had its challenges. I always admired his music, songwriting, and vocals. But some of the personal stuff clouded my view.
I recall encountering him in person two times (both involved elevators).
The first time was in LA , Summer of 1980. I was with CNN waiting to interview the band at the old Westwood Marquis. They were promoting “Reach For The Sky”. 
The band was late, and when they arrived in the lobby we all piled into the elevator to go up to do the interview. They were already half in the bag and giggling and whispering to one another. When we got upstairs they quickly excused themselves. They said they need a minute to hit the head. About 20 minutes later they showed up, completely coked out of their minds.
For a group still trying to recover it’s good name they couldn’t have been less interested in the interview. They were completely wasted and obnoxious. In an era that was in the midst of a new wave fad and about to birth MTV, they seemed like a band out of time rather than the timeless band they would later become.
The next encounter was in an elevator at The Waldorf Astoria Hotel in 1995, the night they were inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 
Gregg was nearly comatose. He literally looked like a cadaver and could barely stand, held up only by the wall behind him. Even given what I knew, I found his condition shocking, and sad. He wrote about what horrible shape he was in then
in his autobiography “My Cross to Bear” in 2012.
My take away from that book is that while he certainly had his share of issues and personal demons, he was also the reluctant leader of the band his brother Duane left behind. I thought his attitude toward Dicky Betts who led the group when he was either unwilling or unable to (or both), was somewhat unfair. 
During the last few runs at The Beacon, courtesy of old pal and band manager Bert Holman, I got passes that allowed me to watch the show from the side of the stage. I would stay there to see the band play the first 2 or 3 songs before heading to my seat in the hall. The last few times I noticed Gregg moved gingerly to his organ and keyboards and did not look well at all.
I saw him for the final time in November of 2015 at The City Winery in Manhattan. A low key affair with a small band covering The Allman’s repertoire, solo stuff and a cover here and there. He did not look particularly strong. It was supposed to be the first of an annual solo residency he would perform there. A legend making his victory lap. He was unable to perform the year after, and never made it back.
Gregg Allman was no angel. He readily admitted as much himself in print and song. Not all of our rock gods are going to be superheroes like Bono, Bruce, or Stevie Wonder. Gregg never seemed interested in saving the planet. He struggled just to save himself.
I think as I think about his passing, I am crushed by the finality of it all. Tragedy, in fighting, and drug addiction were never able do this band in. Somehow the music managed to survve it all. And even though the current version of the band called it quits in 2014, I honestly expected them to return in some way shape or form. They always did. 
But with the recent passing of both Butch Trucks and now Gregg, four of the original six members (and both actual brothers) are gone. 
I recently took a 15 day road trip through the south visiting civil rights and music landmarks. There is no doubt the music portion was partly inspired by The Allman’s and the musical journey they took and passed on to fans like me. That road goes on forever.
 So now the band is done, The Midnight Rider has left town for good, and he never did let them catch him.

[szopenhauer]

How was your day?: it wasn’t good.

Would you ever try to count to 5,000 for $5,000?: I’d try

When is the last time you took a picture of yourself?: last days

When did you last take a shower?: I’m going to take a bath soon

What song are you listening to?: The Weeknd - Blinding Lights

Last sentence you said aloud?: not sure what was last

What is the point of scented pens/pencils/erasers? ppl like to smell stuff I guess Do you buy/wear band-aids with cartoon characters on them? they’re usually not sticking well enough  What do you think your reaction would be upon entering the White House? meh, they could spend those money better by helping ppl, nobody needs such a big house - president or not, we’re not in medieval times and guards would have less to do 

Do you buy and wear crazy looking socks? I would like to Would you run down the street wearing a tutu, fishnets, & flippers? topless? for how much tho  Have you ever grown your own sea monkeys or dinosaurs? nope

Did you ever own an Etch-a-Sketch? yes, I loved it so much, I miss it Do/did you ever have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling? on my wall and furniture, I still have some left Does your house have an attic? it does Have you ever gone white-water rafting? no and don’t want to Does your grandma wear an apron when she cooks? she did How often do you need “me” time? all the time? :x Does it bother you that almost everything is done on computers now? sometimes, a little bit Have you ever gotten stuck in a revolving door? I haven’t What animal do you most resemble while eating? dunno but it reminds me of that yt video - how animals eat their food lmfao Would you play Jumanji, if given the chance? someone already plays it this year

Do you text/call while going to the bathroom?  I might but prefer not to Do you always make sure your cell phone is charged before going somewhere? and powerbank too Did you get Happy Meals just for the toys as a kid? only once, I got Eeyore that I still own Have you ever seen your parents cry?  of course

Do you often shift blame towards others? usually it’s other way around? Do you ever feel like you’re smarter than your boss? I don’t have a job Your very first best friend: Is he/she STILL your best friend? not counting my family - no Have you ever witnessed a crime? minor What’s the coolest personalized license plate you’ve ever seen? I saw a bunch :D Do you write grey or gray? grey, it doesn’t have 50 shades

If you make surveys, how do you decide about its title? I don’t add titles as you can see, that’s stupid

When are you going back to school? never?

What do you do when you tell a really bad joke? my jokes are so bad that they’re good if you know what I mean ;)

Do you like having a huge group of friends or would you rather have few close friends? few close

Do you watch the TV Show Skins? If so, who’s your favorite character? fragments

Can you get a strike at bowling? I never tried bowling but would like to

Do you swallow chewing gum? wtf

Were you into the Beanie Baby craze? nah Would you ever wish to ride a dolphin? nope, I’m not fond of dolphins Do you ever watch the news just for the weather forecast? my parents did and that was dumb, I don’t like/believe in weather forecats If your remote was missing, where is the most likely place you’d find it? in dad’s stuff Ever considered the thought that kangaroos technically have fanny packs? hehe

When was the last time you blew bubbles? not that long time ago from what I remember Did the last doctor’s office you were in have a crappy magazine selection? it did indeed  Have you been to a restaurant where they cook the food in front of you? bakery only The last ball you threw was a… (baseball, basketball, etc.) childish ball for my niece Have you seen how much candidates for president are willing to spend for their campaign? it’s insane  Have you ever caught a friend snooping in your room? I have and that’s why I am afraid of leaving ppl alone in my room  Quick! Name the longest word starting with the letter ‘J’ you can think of: jurisdiction was the first that came to my mind  Do you still write letters to people, even though there’s e-mail now? no longer but not because of e-mail’s existence

Have you ever taken a survey with a friend, listing both answers?: I tagged my friends in the past 

Do you know a guy who has hair longer than yours?: not currently

What color was the last cup you drank out of?: it’s a llama mug (minty color)

If you’re in school, what do you do to fill in time between classes?: there was never enough time for me

Where was the last place you got lost?: mall or park

When was the last time you had cheesecake?: this year

When you last shed tears, was it because of a person?: partially

Other than yours, whose house did you last fall asleep at?: John and P

Have you ever had a significant other whose parents didn’t like you?: looks like it

What’s so unique about your computer?: what’s on it - pictures/memes/documents

What’s one thing you have never done? I didn’t do lots of stuff and don’t want to many of them actually

What is one trend you wish you have been a part of? I’m not into trends in general

Do you enjoy reading fanfictions? About who? Or do you write fanfictions, too? nah

What is something you own that you wish was in your favorite color? it’s not that important

Is there someone from your past that you wish you had dated? used to think that way, no longer

Can you snap with both your hands? If not, which hand can you snap with? both but not every single time

Do you like cosplays? I tried cosplays but it’s not for me and I’m a bit traumatised by it due to experiences from the past, they remind me of someone and not only so I prefer not to follow/look at those related to anime mostly

If you were to participate in one, what/who would you dress up as? I’d dress up as characters I relate to

Do you sometimes answer surveys with “Idk”/“Idr” because you’re too lazy? I just realized that I don’t, wow, I used to do that all the damn time

Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? am not

Have you ever acted like a bitch and used PMS as an excuse? I don’t use PMS nor period as an excuse as it’s actually a stereotype and shouldn’t be an argument besides painful/uncomfy/annoying physical sensations and being unable to do some stuff due to that fact 

Do you know someone who brushes their teeth in the shower all the time? *shrug*

Have you ever tried doing that? Did you like it? Why or why not? tried and it’s not that good

Are you patient when it comes to instructing others? I’m not, sorry...

Do you listen to Panic At The Disco? nah

Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular.: I like many bands/artists that seem not very popular

Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)?: can’t :(

Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to?: we had to give away

You can read minds; Whose mind do you snoop around in first?: hmm...

Do you ever talk to inanimate objects?: stuffed animals, kettle and fridge 

Have you ever tried to fold a piece of paper more than 7 times?: possibly

Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; Do you give them one of your’s?: oh my...

Your brother breaks into your house; Do you press charges?: ... ghost?

Would you rather have a huge cat or a tiny dog?: tiny dog <3

Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying?: do I?

Are you afraid to ask for help when you know that you need it?: depends

Should adopted kids be allowed to find their birth parents if they want to?: I guess

You’re writing a novel; Is it horror, mystery, romance, etc.?: sci-fi/fantasy

Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? would say so

Does your name begin with a B, L, R, or T?: Z

Could you go a day without texting?: but she couldn’t and we don’t want to

Do you have a step-parent?: I don’t

If so, do you get along with them?: -

Do you have any nieces or nephews?: one

Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform?: one of jobs that I had

Who is your 23rd phone contact and how do you know them?: I don’t have this many

If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say?: try me

Where is your dad right now?: sleeping 

Are there any writing utensils close to you? several

Look up, what do you see? ceiling

Do you have a bigger upper or lower lip? lower

Do you have any screen names with spelling errors? luckily not

Open the nearest drawer and tell me what’s inside it: I know it’s empty, don’t have to open it

How many other rooms can you currently see into? my door is closed

Do you need to take the trash out? already done

Do you need to clean out a litter box right now? we don’t have a cat anymore

Are these questions reminding you of things you put off to do this survey? nah

How many days have you been wearing those clothes? 1

Do you like listening to 60’s music? some songs

Can you move your nose? many ways

Can you wiggle your ears? my dad can

How many songs have you downloaded this week? I don’t download songs

Would you rather be a pirate or robot? robot, can’t robot be a pirate tho?

Would you rather be a ghost or a zombie? ghost 

Have you ever considered living in a bomb shelter? I’d be scared to live underground

If I gave you a piano and told you hit middle c, could you? nooo

do you think it’s weird for someone to have never tried soda?   not really

which floor of your house/building are you on now? there’s basement under me and attic above me

would you ride a motorcycle if given the chance? (or have you?) I would, haven’t yet

what are your thoughts on reincarnation? (have you ever read up about it?) it’s possible

does your home have a balcony/deck/porch? balcony

how would you feel about traveling abroad alone? anxious

do you have an interesting passport? I don’t have a passport

what happens to your old clothes? I donate them, give them to ppl I know, reuse them, sell them etc.

who supports you financially? my parents 

if you wanted to go to the movie cinema, how would you get there? walking then by bus then walk again

have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend or a friend’s sibling? minor

do you know much about feng shui? (do you use it?) not much, I don’t use it

what’s your favorite spot to read? librocubicularist

did you know that buddha is not considered a god to buddhists? ok

do you save tickets from movies, etc.?   saved some

without looking him up, who was jim morrison? vocalist

do you have a nervous habit? several

would you be/are you a good role model to a younger sibling? nah

[vita-e]

My MPHFPC Movie Notes

Love the opening credits, fits spirit and theme of the book

(music in general is good)

Hate the different opening line – rather generic imo.

Asa please I know you’re a good actor. Please stop being so flat.

“Jake”

This all feels rushed.

Grandpa has lost his marbles and his acting ability.

“That guy gave me the heebie-jeebies” is all you have to say after nearly hitting a man?

“Jake” was in the house for only 10 seconds, didn’t even bother checking the whole house.

This opening is so boring that my foot fell asleep.

Was this the first take? There’s little to no emotion.

Grandpa Portman doesn’t sound like he’s dying. At all.

1943?! What’s the point of changing the date?!

Also, what’s the point of changing his last words which were a lot more mysterious?

C’mon dude, your grandpa just died! Show some emotion!!

Why do the hollows look like Slenderman rip-offs?

Dr. Golan’s a woman? I’m fine with this – but I won’t be later.

“A month ago,”? Wasn’t it more than a few months until he finally sought help? (I haven’t read the book in a while)

Asa is still a bit flat but he’s doing better in these scenes.

Tiny Jacob is super cute!

His acting is bad, though. This is a given for child actors.

The dad is an ornithologist. He wouldn’t change a bird documentary to a football game (although that was a bit funny.)

Why does Miss Peregrine look so young? In the book, she looks more like a mother waiting for her children to give her some goddamn grandkids.

Bronwyn is 9 now I guess.

Hugh is 11 now I guess.

“Where’s Emma? She could float.” SHE COULD NOT.

Grandpa Portman sounds more English than Polish. Throwing in a Polish nickname doesn’t convince me that he’s Polish.

“Little tiger”? He called him “Yakob.”

“No eyes,” in the book, Jacob tells a sketch artist that they have 2 like a normal mammal. This may be personal taste, but for me, monsters are scarier when they look more human.

Kids this age wouldn’t laugh! They’d see the picture of Millard and go “Holy shit! He’s invisible!” Kids are gullible, dammit. (I had this problem with the book as well.)

Funny how younger!Jacob dresses exactly like Asa.

Damn, kid, he said he didn’t want to talk about it! Chill!

Still 0 emotion, I guess.

“He was a wonderful grandpa, but not… such a great dad, you know?” Damn, that hits home for me – but doesn’t this talk happen later in the book? Like, this talk happens at the island.

Wait, the scene just ends there? No argument? Damn, Jake just doesn’t care that his dad is smack talking his idol.

JESUS fuckin’ twins.

Jacob’s cousins were brats and I believe teenagers as well, so why are they perfect lil’ angel twins that look 10 at the oldest?

Also, why is Jacob’s house so small? His mom is an heiress to a Wal-Mart type store-chain.

Cairnholm is apparently popular enough to warrant postcards.

And popular enough to warrant a spot in a travel book, wtf? It’s not even big enough to be seen on a map.

The dad looking at Jake like he’s crazy gives me life lmfao.

Cairnholm is 100% my aesthetic.

Where’s Kev???

What? But… Uncle Oggie is a relative of Martin?

Didn’t imagine Kev looking like that but okay.

Franklin is me trying to make friends tbh.

I’m so glad Worm and M.C. Dirty D made it in.

Aren’t the residents like… a bit afraid of the home themselves?

Aesthetic™

Wait, what? Oggie can see? He looks blind.

1943? At that point, Germany was taking a more defensive stance, doing lots of evacuating.

“And they were lovely, too.” In the book, Uncle Oggie claims they were strange and rarely spoke.

“3 months later”? He left the day after the loop was created!

Is that the dart competition I keep seeing on Vine?

Wait, why is Enoch there? I know they fucked with his character a lot but he probably joined after the loop was created since he’s from an older loop, otherwise he’d age forward ~30-40 years – so why is he next to (who I presume is) Abe, who left after the loop was made? (or in this case, before!)

Enoch’s little laboratory was in the basement, not upstairs.

The twins might’ve been in the loop at some point, but they certainly aren’t there when Jacob arrives.

Wait, so instead of chasing after them, he runs away? Jake’s a pussy.

And he trips and gets knocked unconscious by a rock. Wow.

Bronwyn, despite being the wrong age and having no personality, is at least cute and it’s fun to watch her carry Jake.

Why is Millard so tiny? You can say that his age is ambiguous, but in the book Jacob clearly states that his voice sounds like that of a young man’s, not a young child’s.

“You’re Emma!” (John Cena voice) Are you sure about that?

Why is Olive, like, 16? She’s supposed to be 7-9 years old (and ofc she has Emma’s powers instead.)

“She sent us to get you”? Why, though?

Standing there all creepy ain’t gonna make him want to follow you.

Jake doesn’t seem to see the change in the weather.

“I am the manager” reminds me of that one Tumblr comic.

Ngl, Millard would do this – if just for fun. He’s a little shit like that.

What’s the point of lighting the place on fire? They’re distracted enough.

Did they just steal someone’s horse?

Millard no longer has any personality out of “Yeah” and “Yep.”

Emma is not nearly bitchy enough. Or at all.

The house is gorgeous! It looks just like I imagined it!

What the fuck, why is Miss Peregrine so young? I know I mentioned this before but what the fuck.

“Right on time”?

“I had to kill them twice this month” WHAT. MISS PEREGRINE DOESN’T KILL UNLESS NECESSARY

Miss Peregrine is not nearly this creepy in the book.

THAT’S NOT ENOCH.

Why does he sound mildly Scottish? He’s from London and has a slight cockney accent.

From now own, every time I see Enoch, 5 years are taken off my life.

Why is Fiona 11 and English? She’s supposed to be in her late teens and Irish – not to mention, SHE DOESN’T TALK!

I don’t think Fiona’s powers make things huge.

“Imm-breen” it’s “imm-brinn”

Do the twins have names?

Claire looks cute!

I don’t think Millard, no matter his age, would be very interested in physical activity. He’s a brains over brawn kind of type, you know?

Kind of uncharacteristic of Hugh to send his bees after a friend.

I’m gonna cry. At least one of my babies looks right.

Horace feels… off. All the components of his personality are certainly there, but in different degrees than in the book.

I’m sorry, what? A daily chore that’s reset by the loop? Miss P, these are kids and teenagers! They’ll get bored of doing that every day! I know because I am a teenager!

That squirrel would be going crazy and scratching her up. I know this is a nitpick but squirrels are vicious, man.

Was this scene the only reason they swapped Emma and Olive’s peculiarities?

Why are her shoes so hard to take off? What if she has to get away in an emergency? She’s fucked!

Why’s it so hard to pull her down?

Emma doesn’t seem to heartbroken over Abe’s death. In the book, she bawled upon overhearing that he died.

This dialogue barely hints at Emma and Abe having a romantic relationship, making only people who read the book know this information. Non-book readers might just assume they were close friends.

Of course, instead of borrowing Victor’s clothes he has to borrow Abe’s.

God, am I the only one that hates looking at Finlay? He’s not ugly – a bit handsome actually! -- he’s just… kind of weird looking.

So… Olive is good friends with Enoch? Don’t get how they got that out of the book when they have no interactions in the first book.

His dolls are meant to be made of clay! Now he just looks like an older Sid.

The stop motion is terrible.

So, they care enough about Enoch’s character to remember that his parents ran a funeral parlor, but not enough to make him his actual character.

Did he not see Millard’s silverware moving? Did no one see it?

So, Enoch is clearly mad at the statement Horace made, so why hold back your retort by whispering? Was he sick on this day of filming?

No one needs that much carrot.

Hugh’s been living there for 70 years; pretty sure he’d never forget to put his net on.

Wait, so he remembered to bring it with him, but not to put it on?

S L U R M P

“She’s embarrassed in front of Jake.” Uh, Hugh, I think you flubbed your line, it’s “Claire don’t eat with the rest of us.”

Oh, thank god, she has the same peculiarity.

I’m crying, Claire is so adorable!

Enoch’s a bigger asshole than I remember him being in the books.

Although it wasn’t in the book, I do like the inclusion of the call from Abe. It makes no sense whatsoever, but I still like it.

Would Horace really be comfortable sharing his dreams – especially via projector?

“Some of his dreams are prophetic,” shouldn’t ‘some’ be ‘most’? Everyone’s dreams can hold some form of future-telling, albeit in an abstract way. If only some of his dreams are prophetic, that barely makes him peculiar.

I don’t get why Horace’s dreams are at all symbolic. They should be literal.

Why did he see Ms. Avocet get kidnapped when she, in fact, didn’t?

“Horace must’ve just had a bad dream, that’s all.” HIS DREAMS ARE PROPHETIC.

Wait, so they have a phonograph outside? And it works?

Why make Miss P creepier, but tone down the creepiness of the reset scene? Think of it: 9 children you barely know wearing gasmasks are singing an old song you don’t know to the tune of bombs falling. That’s a lot scarier than listening to the song on a phonograph.

I just remembered: they never offered the reason why Cairnholm gets bombed. In the book, it’s stated that the island had a sort of anti-aircraft gun which made it a target, but here the Germans simply bomb it to be seen as more evil than they already are.

I do admit, the reset scene does look beautiful.

Jake doesn’t seem as terrified, though.

Emma learning about cellphones is pretty cute.

And we’re back to talking about Abe.

“More than a few minutes,” it’s closer to hours, days even if we’re going by Library of Souls.

Already with Ms. Avocet?

(Cinema Sins voice) Jake’s dad reminds me too much of my own father in this scene.

Okay, so I’m assuming “Mr. Barron” is some wight higher-up? I know he’s not, but for the sake of the notes let’s pretend I don’t know.

Man, he really is my dad. He acts all weird and pretends like nothing happened later.

Who dresses like that in the 21st century!? I like the aesthetic too, but you don’t see me walking around in a Rococo period dress.

No one talks like this either.

That fuckin’ dart competition’s going to get me every time.

Who the fuck rests on their bed with their shoes on?

Bronwyn is cute but… I can’t get over the fact they made her younger and erased her character.

Would it kill someone to say, “Can we try that take again?”

WHY did they make Miss Peregrine so creepy? She was never this creepy!

Yeah, and he’s trying to warn you of potential danger. Also, can I ask where the fuck he got that letter?

Every time I see Finlay’s face a deep hatred resurfaces from the darkest corners of my heart.

All the kids in that room together just chilling is cute.

OKAY THIS IS WHAT PISSES ME OFF. I know for a damn fact that Enoch would never be mean to someone who was kind to him.

In the book, Bronwyn wanted nothing more than for Enoch to wake up Victor but go off I guess.

According to the timeline, HE SHOULD BARELY KNOW ABE.

That’s not how he brings them back to life, though? It’s not like he’s doing heart surgery, it’s more like he’s just gonna smell like death (literally) for most of the day.

Enoch being there as Jake realizes Victor’s dead really takes out a lot of the punch from the scene. Having him show up afterwards (like in the book) is better since it’s more like ‘Realization -> Confrontation’ instead of just… explaining and scaring.

I don’t know if Tim’s ever been around a normal human being before but usually you don’t see their heartbeat.

Okay, so… he can’t bring people back to life, only use them as puppets. First off, that’s gross, and second, that’s a nearly useless peculiarity.

How can tears roll down Victor’s cheek if he’s never conscious anymore? Dead people are known to shed tears, but it’s after they die and are decomposing, and Victor can’t decompose because he’s in a loop!

Does Miss P just do that on a regular basis?

Wasn’t that a rowboat?

That’s carbon dioxide, you can’t breathe that.

How is she swimming? Wouldn’t she just walk? She has lead shoes on!

I don’t think skeletons keep their hair.

Well how the hell does that work?

“Air, it’s my peculiarity.” No, it is not.

I’d rather trust a bunch of information I don’t want the people I love knowing with an adult, but okay.

Wait, so Emma has the Map of Days now?! It was stressed countless times in the trilogy how much Millard loves that damn thing and you give it to EMMA?!

Okay, WHAT? Barron is the leader now!? I guess Miss Peregrine’s brothers just don’t exist now!

“Bad peculiars”? They’re ex-peculiars, because they don’t have powers anymore!

They took the kids, too, you know.

Wait, while they’re at it, didn’t this conversation take place at night?

Just tell him how Abe could see monsters, then he’ll believe. No need to be dramatic.

Hollowgasts sure as fuck would not loop along with the townspeople, they’d be free to roam around or they’d get left behind. Also, Victor died AFTER the loop was made! He got tired of living there and tried to leave and died THIS IS SUCH A SIMPLE STORY TIM.

Did I mention that I hate how the hollowgasts look?

You could have told him earlier but okay.

I don’t remember any of this from the book.

“Tired of living in loops.” Caul was tired of peculiardom being a ‘matriarchy.’ Yes, there were some problems with how peculiar boys who could turn into birds were treated but overall Caul was crazy and narcissistic.

I guess there are only 13 wights, opposed to hundreds or even thousands.

Also, why are they all upper-class? I’d assume a lot would be lower.

Didn’t they also blow up half of Siberia?

EYEBALLS? It’s from consuming their souls! I guess Tim just wanted to put in some ugly ass imagery.

Wait, why are they still eating? They’re fine now!

Almost forgot Millard was in this fucking movie.

But they weren’t even going to try it again! It was a ploy! And why hold it where a normal person could find it!?

This ‘leaving’ bullshit pisses me off because it’s breaking so many fucking rules. Hollows can’t enter loops so leaving is more dangerous than staying, which is what she chose to do in the book!

Claire is so cute.

Makes a bit more sense that an old blind man on his own died than a healthy, (I’m assuming) mid-age museum curator but okay.

This is probably the dumbest thing Jake has ever done. Surely, he knows that normal people can go in, but that they can’t enter through the loop, right? And he could potentially also be a danger, so why call out to him?

This reveal isn’t nearly as powerful as the one in the book. By doing his other voices from previous identities he’d taken before to watch over Jacob, he intimidated him and by finally revealing himself as Dr. Golan, he immediately made the one normal person that Jacob felt a bit safe around a danger and in that moment, he realizes what he had done by telling him everything.

Okay, here’s why I’m pissed they made Dr. Golan a woman. Reason 1 is because it shows that Tim wanted to make the wights really overpowered by letting them keep their peculiarites, and reason 2 (separate of reason 1) is because they didn’t make the rest of their identities women. Like just make a lady ornithologist and have her be a peculiar who can turn into a bird but can’t control time, making her feel self-worth incredibly low and hate ymbrynes. It took me a minute to think this up, Tim.

That’s not how you take off contacts.

Did this fucker really think he could take on an adult?

Hollowgasts can’t enter loops but okay.

This is a bit of a nitpick but the fact that Jake was used as a hostage instead of Hugh just shows how much they didn’t give a shit about the other kids unless they had a relationship cookin’ for them.

So, she has a crossbow, but she’ll just go down without a fight? That’s not like her at all!

This is NOT the time to be petty, Wal-Mart brand Enoch.

I just realized that Horace has like 4 lines and now I’m sad.

I would be so happy that instead of turning into a bird and leaving that Miss Peregrine just fucking decked him. It’s a lot more in character than just letting them take her.

I don’t remember Miss Peregrine trusting a 16-year-old with the lives of 9 kids but okay.

One of the few good things this movie brought me was a peregrine falcon sound so I could look it up and see if it was accurate. I then found a video of a sweet old man filming a peregrine falcon’s call and providing quiet commentary. Just felt that was worth mentioning.

Since when did Jacob become good at strategy?

Cute scene, but it means nothing to me.

Okay I guess Miss Avocet never mattered.

Just destroy Wal-Mart brand Enoch, please.

Why does Fiona have the most lines out of the neglected kids? She only had 2 lines in the whole book!

That bomb would be enough to take care of it, but okay go ahead and shoot it.

Olive seems pretty in-control of her peculiarity, so why give her gloves?

“It’s only 6 months old.” What?

Time travel is bullshit. Also, I don’t think it works like that?

“I know you’ll choose Abe.” Well, duh, I’d rather see my grandfather again than some cute girl I met a few days ago that barely even seems to like me that well.

Okay, so the movie I’m watching is really choppy and cuts at random parts and it just cut in the middle of a sentence Wal-Mart brand Enoch was saying and I couldn’t be happier.

Yeah, but the loop entrances are usually in places normal people won’t go. (ex. Miss P’s loop entrance, Miss Thrush’s loop entrance, etc.) Seems dumb to put it on a ride. Imagine sending your kids on there and when the cart comes back one of them is missing?

Okay, so there’s only 4 hollows and 6 wights left according to the movie. Why are they all so afraid of them then?!

In the book, a lot of them were trained to handle guns, and in the movie they still have their peculiarities – so WHY are they not attacking Emma as soon as they see her!?

I’m pretty sure that in the book Jacob had been seeing Dr. Golan much longer than 3 weeks.

Yeah, Florida’s a hellhole, to be quite honest.

I guess no one cares about a floating girl in the sky. I don’t see any iPhone’s out recording.

Never mind, I see one (1). I should see much more, though.

How would the hearts stay in the skeletons? There’s nothing for them to hold onto.

Is there no staff at this place?

How are these skeletons in general staying together?

This fight is pretty dangerous. They’re exposing normal people to peculiardom.

Okay, so now the wights use their peculiarities to fight.

Horace saved lives at least 3 times but I guess he’s just useless now according to the movie.

Man, Tim, you sure did a good job of creating strong female characters! /s

How is Mr. Barron not dead? She lifted the boat out of water and the closer you get to the bottom of the ocean the more pressure you’ve gotta deal with.

3 cheers for this forced romance! Hip-hip! (Boo)

This 16-year-old doesn’t need to tell these women what to do.

Why is Miss Peregrine in a different cage?

I guess Barron just had some blue eye contacts on him.

How did the hollow get down there?

I guess Jake’s a perfect shot now, since it’s convenient.

(vomit noises)

Again, time travel is bullshit. Wouldn’t there be another Jake walking around?

Wait, they’re still there?

Hurray for more terrible loop entrances!

In the book, this would be the second time they had kissed but okay.

Never knew that birds could just be stationary while in the sky.

Wait, so she just… keeps her clothes? Trust me, I don’t want to see a naked woman in something other than an art piece or otherwise but that was a rule that they had in the book.

Well that was a load of shit. At least with the ending there can’t be a sequel.

[asintoticamente]

I live near Lisbon and November has had for the last years fairly mild weather. It normally rains more during April than during the winter. In the last two years, unfortunately, there's been a notorious increase in tourism and the historic neighbours, have become increasingly gentrified (still a lot of locals but you don't get the "genuine" experience). On the plus side we had a lot of derelict buildings that went through renovations thanks to the increase in tourism revenue. (1/2)

(2/2) There's been an alarming number of cockroaches around the city (partially bc of a few days of extreme heat we had last month & the increasing number of tourists that brought cockroach eggs in their suitcases) so be on the lookout. I also advise against taking the tram - it's a tourist trap. The bus or the subway r the better options, subway stations are clean and most of them are beautiful (according to some Erasmus students I know) when compared with subway stations from other countries.

This is a lot to take in and very useful so thank you! I’m probably going to go to Lisbon later on in the year, it looks like, so I might have to deal with the spring rains which isn’t too much of a big deal considering how absurdly rainy the pianura padana is I am used to it hahaha

Also I feel you guys on the tourism gentrification, that’s essentially what’s happening in many places in Italy, Veneto especially in places like Venice and Verona and Cortina d’Ampezzo. I know I’m a massive hypocrite but ffs do I hate mass tourism. Still, I at least attempt to not be a massively obnoxious tourist when I go abroad. 

Thank you for the tram vs. subway/bus heads up! I’ll keep it in mind. I prefer subways anyway because they’re quicker, usually given both options I always go for subways unless there’s no other way. 

Also wtf do you mean with tourists brought cockroach eggs in their suitcases????????? Is that a thing or???? cos yikes my pal

[seesgood]

Scars: I’ll write your character touching my character’s scars or vice versa

&. D R A B B L E S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ---- so fair warning, i am #xtra and i had this idea but it was too backstory-y and not bellaroline-y ( wtf why is that so hard to pronounce ) so apologies in advance this is rambly long and about 1,500 words of nothingness --- but it’s set during like 3x13??? bc wow what a good episode. 

the sea makes everything colder. but she likes it. it’s a different kind of cold, not the kind of bone chill that comes from the ice nation. no, no this is different. she can smell the salt in the air, can taste it in the breeze. the water is cool, but it’s steady. and it’s never harsh like the ice is. the water is many things, but it’s not unforgiving. that’s the first thing she falls in love with about it. but the breeze, the breeze she could do without. because a breeze means it’s harder to light a fire. and no fire, means to signal, and no signal means no luna which would mean that they’re all stranded on this little peninsula for the night. and that’s not someplace she’d like to be.

caroline shrugs her jacket off of her shoulders, brushing her windswept hair away from her face so that she can see the embers better as they struggle to stay alight. the coat is made to shield the wind from the flame, to protect it. and for that  moment, that’s the only thing she thinks of. she doesn’t think of her training, of her father’s low voice reminding her over and over of the NUMBER ONE RULE that warriors like them must remember. for a moment, she leaves her back unwatched, unguarded. 

her first hint is the sudden stillness behind her, the talking stops --- well, she supposes it’s arguing. they’ve been trekking for almost a day and she hasn’t heard them do much more than argue. --- footsteps halt, and she swears she hears a hitch in someone’s breath. and then there’s a hand. she’s not sure what his intent is, but she doesn’t give him enough time to do more than brush a finger over the jagged scar. her fingers wrap tightly around his wrist, twisting as she turns and in a movement that’s more muscle memory than anything else --- she’s on her feet, hand on the knife. her mother’s. the one thing she still has from her old life.

                                                   besides, well, the scars. 

she can remember the night she got them vividly. remembers the look in her father’s eye when he heard from the others. she remembers the rage contained in the set of his jaw, remembers how tightly his fingers wrapped around her arm as he dragged her. she’s sure it left bruises, but she doesn’t remember there ever being any. he throws a blade down next to her and tells her to fight. to defend. to kill like she’s TRAINED to. like she was made to. for every hit she misses, for every second she falters, he adds another cut to her back. reminds her what they’re for.

scars, to the ice nation, are symbols of strength. they show power and survival and an ability to overcome. for every scar, there’s a battle that’s been overcome. an enemy that’s been defeated. and she has none. so he FIXES her. because that’s what she’s been born to be. a victor, a warrior, a fighter. he fixes her, so that he won’t have to kill her. because that’s what they do with the ones who won’t survive. they kill them. the last thing he ever gives her is a reminder of where she’s from. and she doesn’t realize until weeks later, when the skin slowly starts to stitch itself back together. when she’s already long gone from the clan she once called home.

the last thing he gives her is their symbol, of the clan she was born to but the one she will never belong. years later, she tries to cover it with ink. with the symbol of the clan she chooses, but the markings are still there. the scars still stand clearly, marring the surface of her back.

her feet move backwards in practiced, instinctual movements, her eyes glued to his, glancing only briefly to ensure that the rest of his group is staying where they are. they’re not threats, she knows that. but it doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous. the leader of the skaikru, side by side with the commander of death, and the rest of them. it would be idiotic to trust them completely. it takes a few moments of tense silence to let the air settle, for her heartbeat to slow once more, her breath to come normally. it takes a few seconds for her to realize that he’s not moving to attack, that his palms are facing her, held up slightly, and that they’re not reaching for the weapon holstered at his thigh. 

caroline breathes, her grip on the knife slacking as she drops it to her side, leaning back down to get grab for her coat, shrugging it back over her shoulders. “keep working on the fire.” her voice is curt, demanding when she brushes past the rest of their small group, heading off towards the beach. she needs to feel the water. the sand. she needs to be reminded of where she belongs.

it may be minutes later, or hours, that he follows her. silent as ever. that’s the first thing she notices about him. the silence. he speaks when it’s necessary, but never anything more. and when he does speak, the rest listen. he lets them argue, lets them bicker and fight among themselves ---- but she can tell from the very beginning that he’s the leader. she makes no move to leave when he lowers himself on the sand next to her, not too close, but not too far away. her eyes stayed glued to the shoreline, watching as the edge of the water creeps up and down the surface of the shore.  for a short while, there’s nothing but silence. the sound of the wind rustling the leaves, the water curling over the shore. and then there’s a gleeful laugh when she sees the fire spark up a short distance away.

but she still doesn’t move. the silence starts to weigh heavy, and it always does. she hates silence. she’s spent most of her life in varying degrees of silence. which is mostly why she loves luna’s rig. it’s loud, there are always voices, stories, laughter. never a shout to warn of an oncoming attack. and at night, when it is quiet, there’s always the water. the slapping of the waves against the metal of the rig. “your sister,” her posture shifts as she speaks, chin lifting to indicate the group of the others now attempting to feed the fire. “she’s trikru?” her eyes shift over to him, letting her gaze memorize the different shapes of his face. he’s younger than she initially thought, but maybe it’s the scars that make him look older. they have a tendency to do that.

her hand reaches out, fingers curling lightly around his jaw as she turns him towards her, eyes tracing along the curve of a scar on his cheek. he has many. faint ones on his arms, the ones that match many of the woods people, those that survived mount weather. there are smaller ones here and there, things that would be caused by trees, branches snapping into skin. the larger ones are battle wounds. she’s learned from a very young age that a person’s scars are a roadmap of themselves. they’re honest. she can tell if a man is brave or cowardly simply by looking at the scars on his hands. she can imagine entire fighting sequences based on locations and depths of the wounds. “she’s a good fighter.” she’s small, with small hands, about the right size to have caused some of the gashes on his cheek. for a brief moment, her eyes fall to his hands, noting a considerable lack of cuts on his knuckles.

her hand drops from his face and she looks back at the younger girl sitting by the fire, staring off at the open water. “you didn’t hit back.” she can only fill in the rest of the story. the darkening of the girl’s eyes whenever lincoln is mentioned, the way she refuses to make eye contact with her brother, the way his eyes trail after her whenever she thinks he won’t be looking. “where i’m from they’d call that cowardly.” her eyes leave his, looking over at the flickering green flame on the peninsula.