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jessicaloons · 6 months ago

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Chapter 46:

You play stupid Games, You win stupid Prizes

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"Did you read that?" Charles asked and I looked at his phone.

"He's still gambling? He should just take that Williams seat and this whole mess is over... but no, he and his father are still talking about my goddamn seat like it's vacant!" I rolled my eyes and Charles chuckled a little.

"I can't wait for you to step out in your race suit, Doetterer 2027 on your back, right in his face that your seat is taken for the next 3 years." he sat down on the edge of the bed, and I sat up.

"I honestly don't care about him or his father... I just want to have a good weekend, perform well here at home. I want to make Germany proud. It's been a long time since a German driver won the German GP..." I sighed a little.

"Was Seb the last winner?"

"No, that was Nico in 2014. 10 years ago. Seb wasn't that lucky with Ferrari at the German grand prixs..."

"Oh yeah, true... but this year a German driver from a German team will win." Charles sounded determined and I smiled at him "I have a feeling."

"Yeah? Then let's hope you're feeling is right." I kissed his cheek and got up "And now let's go. I'm hungry." I put on Charles hoodie and we went downstairs, a loud hustling and bustling already awaiting us. Mum, Pascale and Sissy made breakfast, while Dad, Arthur and Daniel, sat at the table talking away. Benji and Liam sat on the floor playing with Arlo.

"Good morning sleeping beauty 1 and sleeping beauty 2."

Daniel was the first noticing us, right as Arlo turned around, over excitedly wagging his tail.

"Morning." I bent down, ruffling Liam and Benji's hair before I scratched Arlos head

"Sit down, sit down, breakfast will be ready any minute." Mum said from the kitchen and I plopped down next to Arthur.

"I guess you've seen the latest chapter in the never-ending Sainz to Audi saga?" Dad asked and I sighed a little.

"This weekend it will be over. He can watch Lizzie walk out in her race suit, announcing her contract renewal, Audi will put out the statement and he has to say yes to Williams, if he doesn't want to be seatless next season." Charles said and Dad nodded.

"I honestly don't get what Carlos problem was with you, Lizzie? Like seriously? He was a funny bloke, one of the guys? Nice one. But you and him? That just didn't work out." Daniel said and I shrugged my shoulders.

"He didn't like that Lizzie was better than him." Charles stated simply but I shook my head

"No, I think it all started when I was speaking out against Ferrari, mostly Mattia's way of handling you guys. And that I openly said that you are the better driver and fight for the championship and your team should fully support you. I think that was what made him furious... and from then on... well we all saw what happened."

"Yeah but everything you said was true!" Arthur said and Daniel nodded slightly.

"He's playing a dangerous game though, publicly talking about the Audi seat, not even mentioning the interest of the other teams? Basically saying he only waits for the right offer from Audi? He'll end up with no seat for next year."

"Is it a dangerous game or just a stupid game?" Charles shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess we'll see..."

"Nervous?" Elijah asked and I hesitated for a moment.

"I honestly don't know. I mean, it's Hockenheim, I know this track better than any other track. I raced there so often, I tested for Audi there so many hours, that would fill 10 full races. I raced here in F3, F2. The WSeries. Not to mention all the times I tested various cars there... but this time I race here in Formula 1? My dream comes to life... so yeah, sure I'm kinda nervous because I want to win this race and put myself under a lot of pressure. But I'm also super excited, because it's my home race that I race in freaking Formula 1." I replied, watching Dad joke with Charles, Daniel and Lorenzo.

"And today you're kicking off the race week with a nice family barbecue?"

"Yeah kinda, it's been a long time that we've all been here together. And now we added Daniel to the family, which means it's getting even louder around here." I joked right when said driver joined us at the table.

"I heard my name from my little sister?" he wiggled his eyebrows, pinching my side and I rolled my eyes laughing.

"I just said the neighbours will complain now that we added you to the family and our little backyard hangouts will be way louder than before." I chuckled and he nodded.

"Big possibility, not gonna lie."

"They survived all of you screaming and shouting after the world cup final 2014... I guess they can handle Daniel." Mum laughed and put down a salad bowl.

"Oh come on! We just won the title! Of course we freaked out a little bit!" Dad said from the barbecue and I nodded.

"A little bit? You and Hervé had fireworks! Fireworks! In July! In Germany!" Mum said and I laughed, thinking back to that day.

"It was an amazing evening! Come on!" Charles threw in, as he sat down next to me.

"Two semi-drunk men handling firework, they probably purchased illegally, in a backyard full of people and flammable things?" Pascale looked at him pointedly.

"We were careful!" Dad stated.

"Oh yeah? You two lit up one of these stick things and then, while it was already burning you read on it that you're not supposed to hold it in your hands but stick it in the ground!"

"Well... that was unfortunate. But nothing happened! We just shot these sparkly fireballs at each other." Dad shrugged.

"Seems like you guys had some good times together in the past?" Elijah smiled and I nodded.

"The best! Dad and Hervé always came up with the craziest, most random things out of the blue." I laughed and squeezed Charles hand under the table.

"They said they were brothers from another mother." he said and Pascale nodded.

"Yeah. Both grown ups with the mind of two little boys sometimes."

"Not gonna argue with that." Dad mumbled and we laughed.

"Good old times." Lorenzo said and I nodded.

"Yeah. Good old times indeed."

The moment we arrived at the Hockenheimring my mind was blown. A sea of German flags were waved everywhere. For the first time ever there where more fans waiting for me than for Charles. I was overwhelmed with the amount of people chanting my name.

"Look how they love you." Charles said, opening the door and I got out of the car.

"This is crazy!" I mumbled.

"No, its not. It's what you deserve! You deserve to be here, now and forever. This is your home. These are your people.

And look at how much they love you." he took my hand and pulled me towards the fence "Come on. They're all waiting for you, cara mia!"

I didn't know where to start, who to look at first, the amount of people cheering me on was overwhelming. I took more selfies than at all races combined before as it felt, signed team kits, flags, poster, caps and what not. My wrists were full of new bracelets, hands full of gifts.

"Thank you so much!" I hugged the girl who handed me a scratch book, after explaining to me that’s it’s a book with fan letters from girls around the world, thanking me for being their role model and writing how me being in F1 changed their life’s "This means so much to me! What’s your insta name! I want to post it and tag you! I mean if that’s okay for you?"

"Yes! Of course! I made it together with my best friend, she can’t be here unfortunately." the girl replied, typing down her Instagram name in my phone "We both hope that you’re winning this weekend! And if not you, then Charles!"

"I will try my very best!" I chuckled and took back my phone, when Charles tapped my shoulder "Thanks again for the book!"

I waved one last time to the crowd and then followed Charles to the gates, the book pressed tightly to my chest.

"Cara mia." Charles nodded towards a little girl, covered in Audi merch, hiding behind her father's legs.

I handed Charles the book and several other gifts and slowly walked towards the father daughter duo.

"Hi." I smiled at her and she gripped her dad's leg tighter.

"Maddie, come on, say hi to Lizzie." he cooed and the little girl, Maddie, carefully stepped around his legs. I immediately kneeled down, smiling at her.

"Hi Maddie, my name is Lizzie." I said, stretching out my hand and she hesitantly shook it.

"I know who you are." she said quietly "I'm a huge fan."

"Thank you, that really means a lot." I smiled.

"Maddie started karting 2 years ago after she saw you debut in F1." her dad said, and I looked up at him "She said if you can make it into F1 with only men, she can start karting with the boys."

"And you are absolutely right! Just because you're the only girl doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it! When I started karting, I also was the only girl, for a really long time actually, but it never stopped me."

"And now you're in Formula 1." she said.

"And now I'm in Formula 1."

"I think you will win this weekend, or at least I hope so."

"I will try my very best." I smiled and Maddie poked her dad's leg.

"Oh yeah, umm- can I take a picture of you two?" he asked and I nodded

"Of course." I smiled waving the girl over.

"Can you sign my cap as well?" she asked as soon as her dad gave us the thumbs up.

"Sure." I took the sharpie from her dad's hand and signed the cap "Here, all done."

"Thank you! And good luck this weekend!" she smiled and I nodded.

"Can I get a good luck hug?" I asked and she nodded excitedly and hugged me "Thank you." I got up and waved her and her dad goodbye when Charles lead me away, towards the hospitalities.

"You're so loved here, I honestly wished it was like this everywhere..." he said and I nodded a little.

"Yeah, it's really a total new feeling."

"You deserve it." he kissed my cheek and we stopped in front of the Audi hospitality "See you later? I'll pick you up and we can go together to the press conference."

"Alright." I took my gifts from him and kissed him goodbye, then walked inside where Julie was waiting for me.

"The crowd loves you!" she smiled and I put down the gifts.

"They really do, I have a feeling that this weekend we'll shoot something special." Elijah said and I flinched a little.

"I completely forgot about you." I mumbled and he laughed.

"We stayed behind, just filmed you without you even knowing we were there."

"Can you do that the whole weekend like that?" I asked and Julie laughed.

"That’s our plan. You’ll not even know that we’re here." he said and I sighed a little.

"Well, yeah, let's hope so."

"Welcome to round 13 here at Hockenheim, home gp of two of our drivers and teams. Today we're having hometown hero's Lizzie Doetterer, Audi and Nico Hülkenberg, Haas, with us, as well as Charles Leclerc, Scuderia Ferrari, Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing and Daniel Ricciardo, Racing Bulls. I start with you Lizzie. First time racing in F1 on home turf, how are you feeling?" Tom Clarkson started the press conference, and I took the microphone.

"I'm excited, nervous, overwhelmed, yeah too much to put into words. When I was younger I watched some of the best drivers race this track and dreamed that one day I would be one of them and here I am." I answered and Charles next to me smiled.

"How does it feel, seeing all those German flags being waved, all those people in Audi merch?"

"It's just amazing. I never felt this much support ever before and it makes me more than excited to finally race here."

"You always said that Hockenheim is the track you know the best, the track you race better than any other track. Do you think it gives you a little advantage, that you know this track so well, raced here more often then most other drivers on the grid?"

"It's no disadvantage, that's for sure, but honestly, on other tracks I only raced once before I had to do it in F1, on others I've never raced before. It's like this in F1 sometimes. And nowadays with the simulators you can race as often as you want on every track, so yeah."

"Alright, let's continue with you Nico, another hometown hero." Clarkson looked at Nico and began his interview with him, then continued with Max, Daniel and lastly Charles.

"Charles, you said that Lizzie will make a big step forwards this weekend and will be one of the main threats."

"I've seen her progress over the last races, she was always close to the win, collected podium after podium, and now we're here at Hockenheim, the track she can race blindly... which she did, by the way, and Audi brought a new set of updates? Yeah, she definitely will be one of the main threats this weekend."

"You raced here with a blindfold?" Max asked me and I laughed.

"No! It was only in the simulator, a couple of years ago!" I replied and he laughed.

"And? Did you make it?"

"She did, she was only 3 seconds slower than me." Charles answered and Max looked impressed.

"Not bad."

"Alright. Let's open this up to questions from the floor. As always, please state your name and publication first." Clarkson looked into the crowd of reporters and picked the first question.

Most of the first ones were for Nico and me, how we felt about finally racing back in Germany. If Hockenheim should be permanently on the race calendar. Then the questions switched to Max and Charles and their close battle for the championship.

"Question for Lizzie. You brought a whole set of updates, how do you think they will be working?"

"Well the weather got a bit in our way to fully say how they will work out with heavy rains on the forecast for the whole weekend. So we will have to wait what we can do under this rough conditions." I say honestly.

"But you're usually really good in the rain and love a rough track?" he countered and I laughed.

"Well, yeah, but I’m usually liking it not that rough." I answered.

"News to me." Charles mumbled, not directly into his microphone, but still loud enough to get caught and the silence was loud in the room.

I looked at him with wide eyes and he sat there, petrified. The shock what he just had said evident on his face.

"So a freak in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Lucky you, Charles" Daniel laughed and I blushed.

The whole room erupted in laughter and Charles just facepalmed and mouthed a 'sorry' to me. I silently prayed for Clarkson to end the press conference and when he did I was the first one to leave, taking a deep breath as soon as I was outside.

"I’m so, so sorry, cara mia! I swear I didn’t expect the microphone to catch that." Charles followed me and held me by the waist, looking at me "It was more a joke to myself and… god I’m so sorry."

"You‘re not… you‘re grinning!" I pushed him off and he chuckled.

"Because it was kinda funny! Freaking embarrassing, but funny!" Charles pouted a little and I rolled my eyes.

"Everyone laughed and had a blast, come on mate." Max laughed, appearing right behind Charles and I glared at him "Okay. Sorry. I’m scared of your girl…" he then whispered to Charles.

"Kids, kids! Come on. It was a joke, we all laughed. Nothing bad happened." Daniel said and Charles nudged my shoulder a little "Well, nothing bad happened yet… if I’d be you, Charlie boy, I’d be scared to walk back to the paddock, where Pops will wait…"

"What?" Charles stopped grinning in an instant and swallowed hard.

"What you said? About his perfect, little girl? His princess? I wouldn’t want to be in your skin." Daniel walked off with a satisfied smile on his lips and Charles looked at me.

"Pops will laugh about it, right? He knows it was a joke?"

"I don’t know… not so sure…" now I chuckled and grabbed his hand "Come on, let’s see."

"Lizzie!" he whined and I laughed even louder.

"Oh come on, it was just a joke, you said it yourself…" I pulled him with me and as soon as we spotted Dad sitting outside the Audi hospitality, playing with Arlo, Charles slowed down.

"Look who’s there!" Dad unbuckled the leash from Arlo’s harness and he bolted off, straight into us and I bent down, scratching his ears.

"Hello my good boy. Did you play with Pops a little?" I cooed and followed him back to where Dad was sitting, Charles staying a little behind.

"So, how is it being here?" Dad asked me and I sat down, shrugging my shoulders.

"It’s normal, I guess?" I said, watching Charles take a tentative step towards us, still looking at Dad.

"Pete is confident that the upgrades will work out."

"Yeah, they all are, I guess we have to wait and see, no?" I picked up Arlo, sitting him down in my lap, when Dad turned to Charles.

"And what about you?"

"Me?" Charles asked nervously.

"Yeah, your car was lacking straight line speed in Silverstone? Did you fix that problem?"

"Oh… umm yeah, yeah, the team is confident that they fixed this issue." he sounded slightly relieved, letting out a deep breath, sitting down next to me, still a little fidgety.

"You okay there, Charles? Rough night?" Dad asked and Charles eyes widened.

"It was a joke! A stupid joke! I’m so, so sorry!" he blurted out and Dad bursted out laughing.

"Boy, I never saw you sweating like that." he shook his head, still laughing.

"I’m really sorry." Charles mumbled and Dad got up, patting his shoulder.

"It’s alright, Charlie boy." he said and walked inside.

"Why do I feel like he’s secretly planning something?" Charles mumbled and I shrugged.

"Because he probably is…"

"Very comforting, thank you."

"Always."

Another day, another sea of German flags, Audi shirts and caps and poster of me were greeting us when we stepped out of the car and I couldn't stop the big grin forming on my lips. I zipped my jacket close and put the hood on, trying to stay dry.

"Excited?" Charles asked and I nodded.

"I think I was never this excited for FP1 ever before.. " I laughed and he pulled me to his side, kissing my temple.

"Same, same." he chuckled, dropping me off at my hospitality "Have a good session."

"You too." I smiled, climbing up the stairs.

"Lizzie?" Julie held the door open for me and I walked inside, the whole team standing around a table and I followed her inside.

"What's going on?" I asked when Pete and Valtteri stepped aside, revealing a cake.

In big red letters DOETTERER 2027 carefully piped on.

"Congrats on your contract renewal!" Valtteri said and I hugged him.

"Thank you, Valtteri! But where are you going? I mean... with Nico coming?" I whispered.

"It's all good, little one. I talked to Felix the moment I got a new offer, that’s when he contacted Nico…" he said and I looked at him "I’m going back to Mercedes, for one year and then it’s time to retire."

"Wait… what?"

"Toto called me as soon as Lewis told him. With Kimi Antonelli Mercedes has a good driver for the future, but he needs more experience, 2025 is too early for him, so I’ll take over for one year."

"But why retire? You still have some good years ahead of you!"

"Because it’s time. One day, you just feel it." he nudged my shoulder a little and smiled "And now come on… let’s have a piece of cake and then go into the car!"

"Okay…" I nodded slowly and stepped closer to the table.

"Speech! Speech! Speech!" Matt and some of my mechanics began to chant and I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Okay, okay, okay! Honestly I don’t have much to say, just that I’m grateful for every single one of you! You are the best team I could’ve ever ended up in. You always believe in me and have my back, support me no matter what. Today we celebrate us, this team. Thank you guys!" I said, smiling at my team and Felix pulled me close to his side.

"Alright everyone! Let’s have some cake!" he said and then turned to me "And then get out there and have some fun."

I sat on the sofa, mindlessly scratching Arlo’s head in my lap, not listening to the conversations around me.

"Cara mia?" Charles squeezed my thigh and I looked up from my lap "Come on, eat something."

"I’m not hungry." I mumbled, looking back down.

"Hey, look at me." he scooted closer, gently grabbing my chin, turning my head "It wasn’t your fault… you couldn’t do anything. You were amazing in FP1, okay? We all saw how good you were! And what happened in FP2? It was out of your hands, until the crash you were the fastest on mediums! No one could match your pace, not even on softs!"

"Yeah but I crashed out, Charles!" I groaned and he sighed.

"No you didn’t! Logan crashed out and took you out as well an-…"

"I could’ve reacted quicker! Go around him, just do something to avoid the crash!" I interrupted him.

"No, no you could not, okay? Stop bashing yourself. It’s not your fault, end of the story." Charles looked at me pointedly and after a moment I sighed and nodded a little "Now, would you please eat something?"

"Yeah…" I sat Arlo down next to me and grabbed my fork.

"Thank you." Charles kissed my cheek and I took a bite of my salad.

"Tomorrow’s a new day, don’t beat yourself up too much." Dad said and I nodded again.

"I just wanted this to be the perfect weekend, you know? No mistakes. Good results. So that when the contract renewal is announced on Sunday no one doubts it…" I sighed.

"And you still can do it! Today was unfortunate, but it wasn’t your fault! Tomorrow you’ll come back stronger." Charles looked at me determined.

"I hope you’re right…"

"I am. You’ll see…"

Pole position. Freaking pole position. I cheered into the radio. Not understanding what Pete said for the first few seconds.

"You did it, little one! P fucking 1! Wooohooo! We’re all so proud of you!" his voice rang in my ears and I laughed.

"Let’s fucking go, guys! The car was on fire!"

"It really was!"

"Where’s Charles? Valtteri?" I asked, hoping to hear some good results.

"P2 and P4. Amazing job from you guys!"

I parked my car in the P1 spot and jumped out, running towards my team, celebrating our first pole in a while.

"Amazing job, little one!" Pete patted my back.

"What a lap!" Felix shouted.

"Thanks guys!" I high fived everyone when a pair of arms engulfed me from behind.

"What an amazing lap, cara mia!" Charles muffled voice behind me.

I turned around and opened my visor, his eyes already on mine. He pulled me towards the tables and I took my helmet off, followed by my balaclava, wiping my face.

"POLE SITTER!" Daniel yelled, storming our way, hugging me tight "Good job, Lizzie!"

"Thanks Danny." I smiled, seeing Pierre making his way to us.

"You so going to win tomorrow!" his first words as soon as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Don't jinx it!" I laughed and slapped his arm.

"I don't! It's just an honest opinion!" he chuckled and walked off.

"Lizzie?" an F1 official smiled at me and I nodded, taking the microphone from him.

"Lizzie! Congratulations on your pole! What an amazing qualifying session! Talk us through your pole lap." Nico Rosberg smiled his 10.000 mega watt smile at me and I took a deep breath, seeing all the Germany flags being waved behind him in the grandstand.

"Honestly, I just pushed, pushed, pushed. I knew that the rain would come any minute back and thought to myself that I just have to go full throttle. And it worked out perfectly."

"That it did. What do you think is possible in the race, can you win tomorrow, as the first German driver in a long time?"

"You mean as the first German driver after your last win here?" I chuckled and he nodded laughing "I think if we can maximise our race pace, have a good and clean start, a lot is possible."

"You're driving with a special livery this weekend, and I noticed a very interesting detail on your car and helmet..." Nico pointed at the hood of my car and I smiled, looking at the large 7.

"I wanted to pay tribute to not just this amazing track, because it's a shame that we don't have this track in the race calendar every season, but also go a little deeper. Germany and F1 belong together, and that's because of the amazing German F1 driver's of the past, but also the present. After waiting for this race for so long, I wanted to have every single German F1 driver with me, so yeah. I wanted to pay tribute to the guys who represented Germany so well in Formula 1, so yeah there's you, Seb, Timo, Nico but also some less known names, but still important. And of course, the Schumachers. Ralf and Michael, who was my hero growing up and I'm sure of so many others as well, he gave so much to this sport, he’s a legend, and also Mick, who should be driving on this track with me tomorrow, he didn’t get the chance he deserved back in Haas and I hope that changes in the future." I said proudly and Nico nodded.

"What a beautiful gesture. I think I speak for everyone who's on your car and helmet, when I say thank you so much, it means a lot." his voice was wavering a little and I squeezed his arm.

"I hope you like the photo of you that I chose." I laughed, to brighten the mood again and he smiled.

"I have to check it out, but honestly, every photo would be great, just because of the gesture. For now, I wish you all the best and good luck for tomorrow."

"Thanks, Nico." I handed my microphone to Charles who smiled brightly at me, then walked off to Julie, who was already waiting for me.

"Good job, Lizzie." she smiled and I followed her to the media pen "I need to take some pictures of you in your new race suit for tomorrow."

"Okay..." I sighed and she chuckled.

"Just a few quick shots, that's all I need."

"Okay.." I repeated and she playfully rolled her eyes.

"Thank you! And now smile, your on pole for your home race!"

"Yep, that I am." a big smile on my face again, when I read the text from Seb.

I woke up earlier than usually. Got up and took a quick shower, getting ready for the day. Then I waited for Charles to wake up. Breakfast went by in a blur and the drive to the track was even faster. All the fans around cheering for me, wishing me good luck, telling me that I would win, made me smile. I was getting more and more excited and when I walked inside my drivers room and looked at the race suit, the excitement bubbled up even more. The German flag in stripes down the arms and legs, my name on the back as well coloured in the German flag, paired with the 2027. All black. It looked dangerous. Our designer team really did an amazing job.

"Come on, fireproofs on and then let me braid your hair…" Mum smiled at me and I nodded, going on with my usual race day routine "We’re all so proud of you, Lizzie. So incredibly proud! Pole position, new contract, high chances of a win. And that all here at Hockenheim…"

"Oh Mum stop! Don’t cry!" I chuckled and she wiped away a tear, smoothing down my hair, combing through it "It’s a weekend like any other!"

"But it’s not! I’ve never seen so many people supporting you! Screaming your name! Finally you get the recognition you deserve." a soft smile on her lips "It just makes me so happy to see you happy."

"Oh Mum…" I turned around and hugged her.

"Okay, come on now. Silly me. Let’s get you ready and then present that beautiful race suit!" she wiped her tears away and braided my hair.

I checked as always that they weren’t too tight, moved my head around and gave her the thumbs up.

"Alright. I’ll wait outside for you." she kissed my cheek and left.

I turned around, grabbing the suit from the hanger and put it on, leaving the top unzipped pooling around my waist.

"Liz? You decent?" JK knocked at the door and I opened up "Ready for a little warm-up?"

He walked inside, a big grin on his lips, looking at my race suit.

"I'm so freaking excited to see Sainz' face." he laughed, and I chuckled a little.

"I just have to deliver as well... then it's a lethal punch in the guts." I shrugged my shoulders a little and he nodded.

"You'll do great, and now come on, let me get you ready." he clapped his hands, and got up "Okay, first your back and then some agility."

We started the warm-up routine and JK watched me carefully, every little hiss or frown was noted, and the exercise immediately adjusted. After 30 minutes I got up from the mat on the floor and took a big sip from my water bottle.

"I think I can win this today…" I said after a while and JK nodded.

"I think so too. You worked so hard the last weeks. You’ll start from pole. This is your win today." he smiled "And now let’s go, it’s time to show the world who‘s driving for Audi the next 3 seasons to come."

"Who‘s that? Oh right… ME!" I laughed and he chuckled.

"Come on now."

"Aye, aye captain." I saluted and he rolled his eyes, pushing me away gently.

I looked outside, the sky grey, light rain falling.

"Lizzie? It’s time." Pete looked at me and I took a deep breath.

"Alright, let's do this." I took one last sip of water and then turned to Julie, a big smile on her face.

"We'll let you walk out, stand with Nico in front of the entire grid, everyone will see the 2027 and right then I will post the official announcement." she said and I nodded, pulling my race suit up.

"How does it look?" I asked her and she gave me the thumbs up.

"Freaking amazing." Charles said behind me and I turned around "You look gorgeous."

"Oh stop. I'm just wearing a race suit..." I chuckled and he grabbed me by the waist pulling me into him.

"Yeah, I can see that, but it's your smile that's so captivating..." he kissed me, and I heard some of my mechanics hollering "Ready to kick some asses and let some jaws drop to the floor?"

"Hell yes!" I said and he smiled, taking my hand, leading me outside.

The first moments nothing much happened, but with every step I took further down the grid, a murmuring was going around. I saw the cameras filming us, Charles grinned, and some mechanics from other teams pointing at my back. And then I looked up at the big screen, showing my back, flashing the message out for everyone to see and the crowd cheered even louder.

"Seems like the crowd likes it..." Charles nudged me gently and I nodded, looking up at the screen again, where I looked in my face, a big smile on my lips.

"Urgh...stop filming my face." I chuckled and turned slightly, looking for the camera man.

"Stop whining, this is your moment!" Charles whispered and pushed me towards Nico, who already waited for me.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded, walking in front of the rest of the grid to stand on the marked spot for us.

"It’s so weird… I’m used to stand somewhere behind… not in the middle with all eyes on me, or us…" I mumbled and he chuckled.

"It’s just for the anthem, you will survive." he said, then grinned "Oh, and congrats, team mate." he nudged my shoulder and I chuckled a little.

As soon as we both stood on our designated spots and Nico took off his cap the German national anthem started playing and we both sang along. For the first time today I felt the nervousness overcoming me, felt the tingling in my hands. This was it. This was it. The day I dreamed of for so many years. I would race in Formula 1 at Hockenheim. I saw the marching band preparing for the anthem and closed my eyes, for a moment, soaked it all in. With the beginning of the anthem I opened my eyes, starting to sing along. I never felt this pride in my life and the atmosphere was buzzing.

The next moments all happened in a blur. I walked back to my garage, did some last stretches, looked over the data once more, then it was time. Mum, Dad, Sissy, Liam, Marcus and Benji looked at me. All smiling. All looking proud.

"My sweet girl, we're all so, so proud of you!" Mum hugged me and I smiled

"We had that already today, Mum." I chuckled and she pulled awa, sniffling lightly.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry!" she whispered and managed to smile a little.

"Come here, my little owl." Dad pulled me in another bear hug "Kick their asses, Lizzie. Show them how good you really are." he whispered and I nodded.

"I'll try my best." I whispered back, then he pulled me away and next Sissy, then Marcus hugged me.

"We're proud of you."

"You'll win this."

"Only if my two little lads hug me!" I smiled at my nephews and both hugged me in an instant.

"Good luck, Lizzie!" Benji chirped.

"I know that you'll win!" Liam smiled brightly.

"Thank you guys so much!" I kissed their heads and then waved one last time.

Then I turned around, following JK out on the grid.

"Lizzie! Lizzie!" Martin Brundle caught up to us and I smiled at him "Woman of the hour. Pole setter, contract renewal, maybe race winner?"

"I will try my very best to achieve it." I replied and he smiled.

"3 more years with Audi, what a way to announce it, here, in front of your home crowd."

"They don't say for nothing there's no place like home, you know."

"Very well said. And I'm being honest with you, I'm rooting for you today. No better way to celebrate your contract renewal than with a home race win. Good luck out there!"

"Thanks, Martin!" he squeezed my shoulder and then hurried off, right when we arrived at my car.

"This is it. The moment you've been waiting for." JK smiled and I looked up at the sky for a moment. Watched the clouds brighten up a little.

"This is it. Indeed." I smiled and saw Charles coming over.

"Ready for it?" he smiled.

"Baby, let the race begin."

Charles chuckled and then hugged me one last time, kissing my temple.

"You can do it. We all believe in you. You'll win this race today!" he whispered and I nodded.

"I see you next to me then?"

"Oh hell yes." he nudged my chin gently and then walked back to his car, getting ready himself.

"Liz?"

I turned around, taking my balaclava first and then my helmet from JK, putting both on. Then I climbed in the car, got buckled and strapped in, put my gloves on and waited lastly for my steering wheel. A sense of calmness was washing over me and I felt myself smiling. This was my home. This was my win.

"Ready?" Matt signaled me and I gave him the thumbs up.

"Ready."

I never felt this at one with my car. It was almost like the car and my brain were connected and whatever I thought, the car reacted immediately. I was like in a tunnel, my whole surroundings faded away and it was only me, my car and the track. It felt like I heard Pete for the first time in hours when he told me that I should bring it home.

"Last lap?" I asked, almost flabbergasted.

"Last lap, Lizzie." he radioed back and I couldn't believe it.

"Already?"

"Already.. you were flying." he chuckled.

I breezed past Sachs, into turn 13 and 14, next into turn 15 and lastly into the Südkurve, watching the grandstand, a sea of black, red and yellow. I spotted the checkered flag and it was done. I won. Hockenheim.

"YOU DID IT!" Pete screamed "PHENOMENAL JOB, LIZZIE!"

"I won..." my voice barely a whisper.

"Yes you did! You won!"

"FUCKING HELL I WON!" I yelled.

"We're all so proud of you, little one! Amazing race!"

"Thank you guys so much! This is our win. All the hard work every single one poured into this made us win today!"

"It was you, who won today!" Felix radioed "You drove brilliantly, Lizzie."

"Thanks Felix, for everything."

"We're so proud of you, little one."

"Where's Valtteri?"

"P4. We earned a big chunk of points today. Well done!" I was overwhelmed. I won. Hockenheim. My mind went into autopilot. I parked the car in the middle spot. Unbuckled my seatbelt and headrest. Unclipped my steering wheel and climbed out. The crowd chanting. My name. Unbelievable. On shaky legs I jumped into my team. Celebrated our victory.

Watched my family celebrating my win.

"YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU WON!" Liam and Benji chirped and I hugged them both, jumping up and down.

"We're so proud of you. You were amazing!" Dad patted my helmet and I saw Mum wiping away some tears.

"Mum! Enough tears, come on!" I chuckled and she nodded.

"Go! Celebrate!" she smiled, looking behind me and without even turning around I knew who she was looking at.

I pulled my helmet off and turned around, Charles. Helmet already off. Wearing his biggest, most adorable smile. His eyes sparkling, looking at me. I pulled my balaclava off and sprinted towards him, not caring for a single moment what people would say, and jumped into his arms.

"You won, cara mia! I'm so proud of you!" he whispered, hugging me tight and the moment he pulled away slightly, I captured his lips in a searing kiss.

The world faded to nothing. Only Charles and I. And after what felt like ages my head started to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen and I slowly pulled away.

"I love you." I breathed out and Charles smile made my heart go faster.

"In front of everyone? What's gotten into you?" he chuckled and I smiled sheepishly.

"I don't give a fuck anymore. I have a seat for the next 3 years in the best team. I won my home race. I have the best family and friends. And I have you. Why would I care about anyone else anymore?"

"I love you, my crazy girl." he whispered against my lips and kissed me again, right when someone cleared their throat, making us pull away.

"I really don't want to interrupt..."

"No, its fine..." I laughed, taking the microphone.

"Lizzie! Congrats on your win here today! What a race. At no time your win was in danger. How do you feel, after winning your home race?" Nico Rosberg asked and I took a deep breath, looking up at the crowd, the sea of German flags, the people chanting my name.

"I'm speechless. Seriously. I'm overwhelmed with it all... I was the whole race like in a tunnel. Just kept doing my thing. I think I never spoke this little with Pete during a race."

"You were genuinely surprised when your race engineer told you that it was the last lap?"

"Yeah, because I was so freaking focused. I swear I don't even know anymore when I pitted! It was all one big blur." I chuckled a little.

"You did amazing. Congratulations. You made all of Germany proud today, am I right?" Nico turned to the crowd and the chanting got even louder "Congratulations again, Lizzie, what an unbelievable race!"

"Thanks Nico." I smiled, handing Charles the microphone and followed the F1 official to the cool down room.

I put my helmet down, grabbed a bottle of water and sat down, closing my eyes. All the emotions almost bubbling over. I still couldn't believe it. I won Hockenheim.

"There she is, my race winner." Charles walked in and I smiled "How does it feel? Winning your home race?"

"Umm... freaking amazing? Overwhelming? Fucking awesome?" I laughed and he nodded "You kept Max behind you then?" I looked at him, when a replay of the race start was shown.

"Yeah, wasn't easy though." he shrugged, right when Max walked in.

"There she is. Home GP winner." he smiled and hugged me "What a race. I think I saw you at the start the only time the whole race."

"Our pace was out of this world today." I nodded when I watched another replay on the screen. Sainz going wide off track. I couldn't stop the grin from forming.

"Come on now, lets get your trophy!" Charles pulled me out of my chair, then he grabbed something out of his helmet and threw it around my shoulders, I looked down. A German flag.

"It's your home race! Let's go, don't let your crowd wait." he pushed me towards the door and I braced myself one last time, then stepped outside.

I climbed up the highest step, the sun breaking through the cloudy sky, the crowd chanting my name. I did it. I really did it. I watched Michael, one of our head strategists walk outside, hugging me again, taking his place on the right. Next came Charles, then Max. I took off my cap and looked up in the sky as the German anthem played. Charles smiled up at me proudly and I couldn’t contain the smile on my own face. The crowd singing along our anthem. Dad, Pete and Felix all together screaming it from the top of their lungs. Liam and Benji waving and clapping. I felt invincible. The moment the anthem stopped I prepared myself to lift up the most important trophy of my life so far. I held the German flag together, taking the trophy from Stefano Domenicali, who congratulated me and stepped aside. The moment I lifted the trophy over my head the crowd erupted. It was almost deafening. I sat my trophy down, waving at Liam and Benji when Les Toreadors started playing and I felt myself getting soaked in champagne from 3 sides. I managed to grab my bottle and spray a little champagne myself before we toasted our bottles together.

"Cheers to Lizzie!" Charles smiled at me and I took a swig of champagne, immediately scrunching up my nose.

We all huddled together to take the photos and I felt like I would never stop smiling. All the way down the podium, back to the garage where every single one of my team hugged me, to my family doing the same. The smile on my face only getting bigger and bigger. I even enjoyed the interviews and the press conference for once, even joked around.

"Go back to your team now, and later on, we’re going to celebrate!" Charles kissed me one last time and I cocked an eyebrow.

"Where are we going?"

"You’ll see. And now go!" he pushed me up the stairs of the Audi hospitality, laughing when I turned around and stocked out my tongue "GO!"

I shook my head and walked inside, the team already celebrating.

"I heard that Charles planned a party?" Felix looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I have no idea. Honestly."

"There is still one last race before the summer break next week…" I could see how he was fighting off a big smile and made my best puppy eyes.

"Only a ittle partying? Pretty please?" I pouted and Felix laughed.

"Just a little!" he said and I cheered.

"Let’s fucking gooo!"

It was like I was floating on cloud 9 the next days. After a big hangover for the half of Monday, the big smile on my face returned immediately back. I won Hockenheim. My home race. One more race and it was summer break. Life couldn’t be better. Only the weather didn’t pass the vibe check. Still heavy rains. Still grey skies. Spa would be another battle in the rain.

"Lizzie, how do you feel? After winning your home gp, seeing how good the updates worked?" Lawrence Barretto asked.

"Honestly, it still feels a little unreal. I mean it was an incredible, unbelievable feeling. The atmosphere was great, the fans were amazing. It was overall one of my best weekends in F1 so far for me." I replied with a big smile.

"Spa is, after Hockenheim of course, one of your favourite tracks, do you think the updates will work on this track as well?"

"I’m confident that the car will do great here as well, yes."

"There has been a lot of… different opinions about your contract renewal, what do you say to the people, thinking you don’t deserve a seat in F1?"

"I did the talking on track. I won a race, three in total in my third season in a midfield to slightly top team. While others in top teams won their first race in their sixth season. That’s all I have to say."

"Thank you Lizzie and good luck this weekend."

"Thanks." I smiled and walked off,

"Subtle." Julie chuckled and I shrugged.

"He could’ve just shut the f up and not comment on it. I just won my home race and instead of saying that he’s happy for me. Or just laugh and say good for her. No he had to say that it leaves him worried for Sainz, because he hoped that he would get my seat to make him stay in F1… he can fuck right off." I said, raising my voice at the end when I spotted the very person of my rage.

"Yeah, he should’ve just kept quiet. But you know him…" Julie sighed and we walked towards the exit.

"Yeah. Doesn’t make it better."

"I know. Let’s go. Ignore him." she lead me outside and for a brief moment Norris looked up, his eyes on mine, but I looked away and kept walking.

"I guess I have to do the talking on track again this weekend." I mumbled, and Julie nodded.

"That you do! And you show everyone that you deserve this seat more than Sainz does. Period."

"Oh 100 %."

"Hey Mr. Pole sitter." I smiled at Charles when he unlocked the car, ushering me inside "Not gonna lie. That lap was sexy."

"Oh come one, silly girl." he laughed, starting the engine.

"What? Max had all purples and was this close setting a new lap record and then you chimed in with all purples beating his time, even closer to a new lap record and then just casually top your won times with again all purples and really set a new record?" I looked at him and he shook his head "That was sexy. So. Damn. Sexy."

"Okay, okay!" he chuckled and I smiled "It was a good quali, I’m just sorry for you."

"The rules are the rules. He set the time first, so he’s in front of me." I shrugged my shoulders a little and Charles sighed.

"I know, it still sucks. You’ll be in a Lando and Carlos sandwich at the start."

"Ewww, don’t you dare ever saying that again!" I punched his arm and he laughed.

"Sorry. But seriously. Be careful."

"I will be, don’t worry." I said, looking out the window, watching how the rain kept pouring down.

"Let’s just hope for better weather tomorrow. Spa and that rain? That’s a red flag fest." Charles said and I nodded.

"Yeah, let’s really hope for better weather."

But all hopes and prayers were for nothing. It was still raining cats and dogs and when we arrived at the track, we were soaked down to our bones.

"I’ll see you later, cara mia." Charles kissed me and left.

I walked inside, taking my rain coat off, watching a few team members sit huddled together in the corner.

"That’s just sad. Both cars? I mean, better than the whole Australia incident, giving the driver who crashed out the other one’s car… but still…" Matt said and shook his head.

"What happened?" I asked and they turned around, greeting me.

"Williams won’t start the race. With both cars. They had to withdraw. Chassis and PU problems. They didn’t get ready in time because the spare parts were missing." Matt said and I looked at him with big eyes "Yeah, it’s sad…"

"Fucking hell, both cars? Damn." I mumbled, taking my phone out to read the official F1 article.

I finished reading when Charles texted me, saying he overheard the biggest news. When I asked him what it was he replied to wait and enjoy. I groaned and JK looked at me questioningly.

"You good?"

"Charles said A but not B…"

"Sorry, what? Is that a weird sex code?"

"What the fuck? No! He hinted at something but then didn’t tell me what it was about and I want to know!" I looked at him with big eyes.

"Oh, okay. So you mean if you are at the ball, you must dance. The saying goes who says A must say B in German?" JK asked.

"Better than if you’re at the ball, you must dance? That’s weird? And so long!" I defended and he held his hands up.

"I forgot, German efficiency."

"Exactly. German efficiency."

"Will you tell me now what you heard?" I asked Charles when we got ready after the anthem and he chuckled, grabbing my hand "Charles!"

"Patience, cara mia, patience!" he pulled me with him, looking around, searching for something.

"What are you looking for?"

He shook his head and then spotted Sainz, pulling me towards him.

"Carlos. Hey. I overheard the big news earlier, congrats on your new team. Looks like they all can’t wait for you to come, in fact, they were this excited that they completely forgot to get their car’s ready for the race." Charles said and I looked at him with big eyes "Let’s go, cara mia."

"What the…" I began, looking at him.

"He signed with Williams. I heard him, his father and cousin and Sylvia talk about it. The way they want to announce it." he chuckled and then turned around, grinning at Sainz who looked our way.

"You’re evil." I whispered, following his look.

"I know… but you love it, no?"

"Not gonna lie, it’s hot. Scary, but hot." I chuckled and he laughed.

"What is scary but hot?" Andrea asked and JK just shook his head.

"Do we even want to know." he rolled his eyes and I laughed.

"We were just talking about our good friend Sainz."

"What about him?" Andrea asked and Charles wiggled his eyebrows.

"He has a new team… sadly that team has no car on the grid…"

"He sighed with Williams?" JK asked, his head snapping around, watching Sainz "On the weekend where both cars have a DNS?"

"Williams. One of the worst team on the grid…"

"You know, like a really famous poet once said: You play stupid games, You win stupid prizes." I shrugged and all 3 looked at me for a moment.

"Taylor Swift." they said in unison and I laughed.

"I’m proud of you, my fellow Swiftie."

"Let’s get you guys in the car." JK rolled his eyes playfully and I pushed him away.

"Good luck, cara mia. Be careful. They both are ruthless at the start! I want you on that podium with me." Charles pulled me close, then kissed me gently "Drive safe. These conditions allow zero mistakes. I love you."

"I love you too, go and win this race." I smiled and he nodded, pecking my lips again, before he walked off with Andrea.

"Alright. Let’s get you in the car, come on." JK said and I nodded, turning around and preparing for the race.

When I sat in the car, everything was checked and ready, I took a deep breath. Looking to my left, spotting Norris who looked my way. I had to fight off Tweedledee and Tweedledum right at the start. Great. One last radio check and the formation started, the spray from Max making my vision practically non existent. As soon as we were back in our grid boxes I focused on the lights and accelerated the moment they went out, gaining massive momentum, almost instantly overtaking Norris. I inwardly cheered a little, pushing the throttle full through, focusing on what was happening in front, while trying to stay ahead of Norris and Sainz.

"Red Flag. Red Flag." Pete radioed and I cursed.

"What happened?"

"Daniel, Pierre, Ocon, Stroll and Alonso had a little something."

"Everyone okay?"

"Yeah, looks like Ocon and Alonso won’t be able to continue."

"Okay."

"Safety car."

The track was clear surprisingly fast and we all left the pits again, following the safety car.

"Standing start, Lizzie, back in P4."

"Of course." I mumbled hoping for another good start like the one minutes ago and was pleasantly surprised when I breezed past Norris for the second time today.

The rain was slightly getting lighter, the sight was still bad though and the first laps I had to focus more on seeing something than on driving fast. But that soon changed and I saw Sainz coming closer and closer.

"What lap are we in? I can’t read it."

"17."

27 more to go. I could do it. I could stay ahead.

"Weather update." I radioed after another 3 laps.

"No change for the next 6-8 laps."

"And then?"

"Heavier rain."

"Okay." I sighed.

The track was slippery and I felt my car slide from left to right, right to left in every turn I took. Charles and Max in front were having the same issues, fighting each other hard. I slipped and hit a kerb hard, feeling how I was losing the rear, but managed to keep the car on track, giving Sainz the opportunity to come even closer.

"Check the floor."

"On it."

I waited anxiously for Pete’s reply, while trying my best to stay ahead of Sainz.

"No significant damage."

"Okay."

The next 4 laps Sainz caught up to me, trying to overtake me and I had to fight him off more than I liked. The rain was slightly getting heavier, my sight was getting worse. 20 more laps to go. And Sainz was now closer than ever.

"I don’t think I can fight him off much longer." I radioed.

"Lizzie, let him pass… you can catch up to him again. But with your tyres now, it’s too dangerous."

I didn’t answer. Giving up my position wasn’t what I wanted. Especially not to him. But destroying my tyres by fighting him off, having no grip in these conditions was indeed dangerous.

"Lizzie."

"Okay."

I clenched my jaw and drove to the left, making space for Sainz to overtake me, which he did immediately. I had a bad feeling when I saw him breeze past me and as if on cue his car was wavering, losing grip, his left rear tyre, touching my front tyre and I felt my car sliding to the left, trying my best to keep it on track but it was already too late. I lost all control, losing the rear entirely, spinning out, the wet track didn’t slow me down and by the time I reached the gravel my car was already spinning to fast and I prepared myself for the impact. The moment I hit the wall, pain erupted in my back and I screamed out. Panting heavily.

"Are you okay?" Pete radioed and I tried my best to calm down my breathing "Lizzie?"

"I- I ca-…" my voice broke, breathing staggered.

"Lizzie? Hey! LIZZIE! Can you hear me? Are you okay!" Pete shouted in my ear.

"I’m okay." I pressed out, hearing my blood rushing in my ears.

I was heaving. Hands shaking. A pain raging through my back like a wild fire. The pain in my neck and shoulders, mind numbing. I looked ahead, saw what was left of my car stuck in the wall, front tyres, hood, all gone.

"Stay put. The medical car and marshall’s are on their way."

"Pete?"

"Yeah, little one?"

"I can’t feel my legs."

Chapter 46 - winning a home GP is something special and making Lizzie win hers was one of my favourite things in this whole fic, as a German myself I miss having a German GP and most importantly a German driver in a big team who can actually fight for wins (sorry Nico 🙈) … what else happened? Oh, yeah… Belgium… 😬 I guess I’ll leave you hanging for a bit…

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @shimmermotorsport @janeh22 @kahhorri @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @skynel09 @fangirlforever2000

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

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jessicaloons · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 6:

Because these things will change, can you feel it now?

Masterlist - Previous - Next

TW: sexual harassment, assault

"Damn you look good in all red!" I said and looked at Charles in his Ferrari race suit "I mean Seb looked suave… but you? Damn!"

"Stop it, Lizzie!" he chuckled as he checked himself in the mirror, after a while his look changed and I saw him tear up. I jumped up and stood next to him.

"They’re so incredibly proud of you, Charles! Your dad and Jules wished for nothing more than you making your way to Ferrari one day! And that day has come! I know they can’t be here, it’s only us… or well me right now… but Charles, I’m so, so proud of you! This is what you always wanted and you achieved it! This is amazing! You’re amazing!" I said and Charles turned to look at me, a tear running down his cheek.

"That you’re here means the world to me, ma belle!" he whispered and kissed my cheek before hugging me "Thank you for always being by my side! No matter what!"

"There’s no place I would rather be, than here with you, Charlie bear!" I answered and he smiled at me.

"I always ask myself what I did to deserve you, my beautiful, sweet and perfect Lizzie!" he whispered under his breath and it was so quiet, I wasn’t sure he wanted to say it for me to hear, but he just hugged me even closer and I felt the butterflies fly like crazy.

"And what is it exactly?" I asked and the fellow female drivers around me nodded agreeing.

"It is basically a racing series only for female drivers." Catherine Bond Muir said "It’s our way to show that girls or women do have a place in motorsports. To show inclusion."

"Inclusion?" Jamie asked and Jessica next to me just huffed.

"Doesn’t it only divide? Having a series only for female drivers instead of making a way for us in Formula 1?" I said and Jamie nodded

"This is just the first step, to show that female drivers deliver an attractive performance." Catherine said.

"We’re around 50 drivers? How many of us will race in the series? And how will you pick out the lucky ones?" I asked.

"You have to complete 10 modules that will test your skills in racecraft, fitness, media training and sponsorship pitches, before a final knockout series of races that will decide the 28 drivers that will progress into to the next stage." she started to explain and I scoffed, looking around a lot of other drivers didn’t like what they heard as well.

"I never heard of a male driver to complete modules in media training and sponsorship pitches to gain a seat in F1?" I said and Catherine nodded only.

"It’s simple Miss Doetterer, you’re women, people will have their opinion about you, so we need to find the perfect drivers to represent all female drivers to show that you’re perfectly capable of doing what the men do. And for that we need you to be not just the best drivers but also the most approachable, the most interesting, the most well-spoken drivers out there." she answered and Jamie laughed.

"You mean you need good drivers, who also look good and smile nice into the cameras and say only good things about the series?" she asked and Catherine sighed.

"To put it bluntly: yes. That’s what we need from you." she answered.

"When do these tests begin?" Jessica asked and with that the selection of the drivers for the 2019 WSeries began.

"You made it?" Charles looked at me with big eyes as I hung up "Come on, ma belle! What’s going on! Tell me!"

"I’m racing in the WSeries! 10 races, one in Hockenheim, I’m one of the 18 drivers they’ve selected…" I said and Charles launched at me and hugged me tight.

"I KNEW IT!" he almost shouted it and I began to laugh, as I felt the relieve washing over me "They would be stupid! You’re the best female driver out there! You’re even better than most of the guys on the grid! God Lizzie, you’re a better driver than me!"

"Ok stop, Charlie bear, that’s just not true! But thanks for saying it anyway!" I laughed and he just shook his head.

"You know that I would do absolutely everything to bring you into F1! I was talking with Seb about it, how we could do it but unfortunately we didn’t came up with a plan ‘till now!" he said and I looked at him with big eyes.

"You did what?" I asked and he only nodded "Charles that’s ridiculous! F1 is not ready for a female driver, probably never will be…" I said and he sighed.

"Doesn’t matter, I will fight for you!" he answered and I gave him a kiss on his cheek, but when I looked at him I was blushing at his sweet smile.

"Thanks Charles, really!" I whispered and he hugged me again.

"Always, ma belle."

"LIZZIE! LIZZIE! LIZZIE!" the fans shouted as I got out of the car. Putting on my cap. I looked around and saw a bunch of people with the German Flag, caps with my initials and driver number, all shouting for me. I couldn’t contain my smiling and waved to everyone.

"Hi guys! Thanks for coming! Hi! So good to see you! Thank you so much for your support! You’re amazing!" I said and signed pictures of me, smiled for selfies, signed caps, flags and shirts.

"Lizzie! You’re so cool! You’re like the best driver on the grid! Overall I think you’re the best driver!" a little girl said and smiled the biggest smile.

"Thank you so much! Maybe not the best driver! But it sure means a lot when you say that!" I said and she just smiled even more "Here, for you!" I said and took my cap off of my head and used her sharpie to sign it.

"Oh my god! OH MY GOD! Are you sure?! You’re so, so, so cool! Thank you so much!" she said and hugged me. I smiled as I took more selfies here and there and waved to the mass of fans.

"Charles, it was so surreal! They were screaming my name! MY NAME! Can you believe that? Waving the German flag! They wanted selfies with me! ME! Me signing their cap, pictures of me, random stuff!" I was giddy and couldn’t stop smiling as I FaceTimed Charles before the race.

"Of course I can believe it, Lizzie! I always told you that people will love you! How can they not! I’m so happy for you, ma belle!" he said and his smile made me even more giddy and happy.

The next race would be in Assen and not only my entire family would be there, also Charles and Arthur would come along with my friends. They watched me snatch Pole position with a flawless lap and all stood at the barriers to congratulate me.

"That was a phenomenal lap, ma belle!" Charles whispered as he hugged me and I just smiled at him. I saw Ben and Michael approach me and they both hugged me.

"You did absolutely amazing, Liz!" said Ben and smiled at me.

"Fantastic job, Lizzie!" Michael, his dad and my manager said and I just smiled the whole evening as I went to dinner with my family and friends. I could see Charles looking at me one or two times with a look I couldn’t quite interpret, when I talked to Ben, who joined us and wanted to know all about Daniel.

"You okay, Charlie bear?" I asked him as I sat down next to him and he just nodded and smiled his all consuming, dimples showing smile.

"I’m just so proud of you, ma belle! Fourth race. Fourth pole. And I bet my ass tomorrow you’ll take your fourth win as well!" he said and when he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear I blushed. Hard.

"We will see I guess." I said breathlessly and Charles laughed a little as he realised why I was so flustered but didn’t say anything.

"I’m 100 percent sure, ma belle." he answered and with that we left the restaurant.

I sat on a stack of tires, gathering my thoughts, calming myself down.

"Lizzie?" I heard a male voice and turned around. It was one of the reporters who I just answered some questions about the season, I couldn’t remember his name but I was sure he was from a Spanish website.

"Uhm, hi…" I began and jumped off of the tires.

"Salva Diaz, Marica Sports Spain." he said, reading my mind "I just wanted to speak to you personally."

"Okay? About what exactly?" I asked a little confused as Salva looked around and stepped closer to me.

"I thought I approach you first, I’ve seen the way you look at me, the way you smile and laugh when answering my questions. You’re flirting…" he said and took another step closer as I was taking one back, bumping against the wall of the garage.

"I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression! But that’s just how I am… I wasn’t flirting with you." I said calmly although I felt not calm at all, I looked around if someone was there but we were alone.

"Oh come on, Lizzie, you don’t have to be shy now. I’ve felt the connection, the chemistry between us. You felt it too, I could see it in your eyes!" he said firmly and stepped even closer.

"I’m sorry, but there really isn’t any kind of connection between us… I’m just polite." I tried to reason with him but he stepped even closer and caged me in with his hands on both sides of my head.

"Don’t be like that Lizzie, just admit it…" he said and I froze, I couldn’t move as he leaned in and kissed me. I didn’t kiss him back, just tried to push him off of me as he pushed me back against the wall, kissing me again. Groping me. Grabbing my wrist with that I tried to push him away.

"No. Please stop!" I said again and again as someone approached us. Salva was distracted and I could finally push him away.

"Lizzie? What’s going on?" Jamie said as she looked at me and then Salva "Dude, fuck off! Leave her alone!" he backed off and with one last look at me and Jamie he walked away "If you ever come near her, we’ll call the police!"

I sank down and pulled my knees to my chest, Jamie crouching down in front of me.

"Lizzie?" she asked and I looked at her "Are you okay? Did he touch you? Or hurt you?"

"No, I’m good! But thank you so much for stepping in, Jamie!" I lied and she smiled.

"I never liked this dude! He always looked at you like he’s kinda obsessed with you!" Jamie shook her head and helped me up "If he ever comes near you again, we really gonna call the cops!"

"Yeah. You’re right!" I answered and we walked back into the garage.

The whole time leading towards the race I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. Did I really, unintentionally, flirt with him? Even tho I didn’t even know him? Never even spoke to him before? Never even talked to him?

"Lizzie? Did you hear me?" Mike, my race engineer, asked "It’s going to rain around lap 25 on going."

"Yep, rain, lap 25. Got it." I mumbled and jumped in my car, still thinking about Salva and how he pushed me against the wall, kissed me, touched me without my consent. I hadn’t expected my first kiss to be forced onto me violently. I felt the bile rise up in my throat but swallowed it down and tried to focus on the upcoming race. Focus Lizzie. I can do this.

The track was wetter than expected, I had to stay off the curbs, focus on the perfect racing line. But my mind always circled back to Salva Diaz. Pushing me against the wall. Grabbing me. Touching me. Telling me that I’ve flirted with him. Telling me that I sent out signals. Stealing my first kiss from me. My first kiss I only wanted to have with one person. The moment Charles face flashed before my eyes was the moment I hit a curb and lost the rear of my car. Although I tried everything to not lose the car, my race ended in the wall. My head spinning. My thoughts racing.

"Lizzie? Are you okay?" I couldn’t answer. I was furious. How could I make such a stupid mistake.

"Lizzie? Do you hear me? Are you okay?"

"I’m sorry. I lost the rear. I’m so sorry!" I hit the radio button.

"It’s okay. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I’m fine." I said and unbuckled my seatbelt and took my steering wheel out. As soon as I was out of the car I screamed a "Fuck!" out and followed one of the Marshalls behind the barriers.

As I returned back to the pits I saw my family, friends and in front Charles, all looking worried. He pulled me in a hug immediately and I felt some tears escaping my eyes.

"I’m such a fucking disappointment. I drove like a fucking rookie. What a fucking joke." I said and Charles only sighed.

"Well, let’s just be happy that I didn’t bet my fucking ass on your fourth win. Otherwise I would’ve lost it. What a fucking shame!" he said and I laughed.

"Stop it, Leclerc! I’m mad! Don’t make me laugh!" I chuckled.

"I’m sorry, Lizzie! That was my fucking mistake! I’m an idiot!" I laughed and he made me look into his eyes "There it is, the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen and probably ever will see!"

"Ha-ha!" I said and rolled my eyes and together we walked the few steps to the rest of my supporting group who all hugged me and encouraged me to do better the next race.

"Can I ask you a question?" Charles asked as we sat on the hotel bed, zapping through the channels, I nodded and he switched the TV of "What happened? During the race? We race together since we’re 8 and I never saw you lose the rear in the rain because you hit a curb? You’re brilliant in the rain? So what happened today?"

"I don’t know, I was so focused on winning my fourth race that I had like a tunnel vision I guess… I don’t know." I lied and Charles was only half convinced, but he didn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell him what happened before the race. He would hunt Salva down and god knows what he would do. This would be a secret I’ll take with me to grave.

"I can’t believe he’s gone. Like… we just talked yesterday?" Charles whispered and I gently rubbed circles on the back of his hand with my right hand. My left hand rubbing circles on Pierre’s back who was laying, his head in my lap, in Charles bed, finally sleeping.

"We always know that something like this can happen, whenever we get into our cars. But when it then really happens?” I whispered back and Charles leaned his head on my shoulder "And you guys really will race? The FIA couldn’t grant you the weekend off?"

"We decided to race. In honour of Tonio. He would’ve wanted for us to race." Charles whispered and I nodded.

"I’m so sorry for Pierre… losing him this weekend after everything that Red Bull put him through the last weeks…" I said and looked down at Pierre’s tear stricken face "He needs us now, more than ever, Charles."

"And we’ll be here for him." he answered and snuggled closer into me. After some time we both fell asleep.

"I’m so proud of you, Charlie bear! Your first win!" I whispered as I hugged him close at the barriers "For Anthoine!"

"For Anthoine!" he whispered back and I smiled at him one last time before I was leaving to look for Pierre. He drove his Toro Rosso at this tough weekend on P9 and I was so proud of him. When I finally found him after the podium celebrations I pulled him into me.

"You did a good job today, Pierre! After everything you’ve been through this week and weekend, you did a really good job! I’m proud of you! He’s proud of you!" I whispered and he choked a little.

"Thanks Lizzie! For everything! Without you and Charles yesterday… I don’t know what I would’ve done!" he whispered back.

"That’s what friends are for, right? You’ll never be alone as long as Charles and I run around!" I said and Pierre laughed "You did amazing, for Anthoine!"

"For Anthoine!" he whispered back and together we looked for Charles.

"You won in Monza, Charlie bear! I’m so proud of you!" I almost screamed it and Charles just laughed, hair still damp from the shower.

"And you won in Nuremberg! Your second home race! I’m even more proud of you!" he answered and I smiled at him.

“So big party tonight?" I asked and he just shook his head "It’s Monza? Ferraris home race? Come on!"

"Yeah we’ll have a drink later on and then go to a club, but nothing big planned. Not after…" he said and I sighed.

"Yeah… I understand." I answered and he nodded.

"What are your plans?" he asked and I just shrugged.

"I’m driving home with Dad. I’m not in the mood for celebrating…" I said and Charles cocked an eyebrow.

"Are you okay, Lizzie? You seem a bit off?" he asked and I shook my head.

"I’m good, don’t worry! Just tired!" I lied and Charles looked at me for a while before he nodded.

"I know you Lizzie, somethings off… you know you can tell me?" he said.

"I know Charles, I know! But it’s nothing! Really!" I smiled at him. Today was the first time since Assen that Salva Díaz was again at a press conference. He kept on starring at me the entire time, he didn’t ask any questions. Just him being there gave me the chills anyway. But I haven’t told anyone what happened between us and I wasn’t planning on doing it now.

"Okay…" Charles sighed and I nodded "I have to go now, the team’s waiting!"

"Have fun, Charlie bear! And hug Seb for me! He needs it after his race!" I said and Charles smiled.

"I will, I promise!" he said before he ended the call right as Dad walked in.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yep, let’s go!" I answered and we left the hotel and got in our car, making our way back home.

"How’s Ben?" Charles asked me as I studied the sheets for my final press conference of the season "I haven’t seen him around in a while."

"Yeah, well he’s studying and I don’t even know if he’s that interested in me racing…" I answered a little confused, why would he ask for Ben? I thought about the last time I saw Ben and how he asked me a million questions about Daniel.

"Well he’s definitely not only interested in your racing!" he answered and I laughed, so I’m not the only one seeing the way he checked out Daniel all the time "I think he’s more interested in something else or should I say someone else?"

"So you realised it too? Then maybe I should encourage him to do the next step…" I said and Charles swallowed hard and I looked up "Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Sure! If you want it to happen then you should definitely encourage him to do the next step." he answered and got up from the sofa "I have to call Sylvia because of some PR stuff. I’ll be right back." and with that he left the room.

Charles POV:

She really has feelings for Ben. And I just encouraged her to encourage him to make the next step. Good job, Charles. I sat on the balcony, shuffling through all the pictures of us on my phone. How could I be so stupid and wait this long before telling her how I felt? Of course someone else would show up! It’s Lizzie. She’s not just the most beautiful and sweet girl I’ve ever met. She’s also funny, bold, caring, loving, smart. She’s perfect. All her little flaws, like the fact that she has not a lot of patience, her chaotic being, her crazy mind at times, it all makes her even more perfect. And I idiot waited too fucking long to finally tell her that I love her. Only her. Always have. Always will. And now I have to watch her fall in love with Ben, out of all people it has to be her managers son, and all I can do is pretend to be happy for her. Good. Fucking. Job. Charles. But on the other hand. Like this our friendship won’t be ruined by her not reciprocate my feelings and also if we would try it together but soon realise it’s not working out, there won’t be any weird feelings. Our friendship would be intact and I would still have her in my life. And that is the most important thing. Having her in my life. As long as I had her, all was good. Now I just had to find a way to stop this feeling eating me up alive. And all would be good.

"Lizzie! Congrats! 6 wins, 2 second places and 2 DNFs… what a season! What are your thoughts on being the first WSeries winner?" Ted Kravitz asked and I couldn’t contain my smile. I just won the WSeries season 2019. I was the champion. I had done it. And it felt amazing.

"It’s an amazing feeling! That’s for sure! I was sceptical at the beginning of the season, creating a series for only female drivers instead including us in the already well known highest series wasn’t showing inclusion, rather then segregation, but now I think we showed the world that we as girls or women can race just as good as our male counterparts and maybe in some years in the future the way for a woman or a girl is paved to make it up into Formula 1 and show that we are able to compete in the highest class of motorsports!" I said and the crowd cheered loudly my name.

This would be a day I would remember forever.

"Who’s the girl who can’t keep her hands off of Charles?" I asked Joris who followed my look and sighed.

"That’s Camille. She went with us to school. She always had a thing for Charles. He never noticed but yeah lately he seemed to get it and for some strange reason he’s not appalled by it…" Joris answered and as Camille pulled Charles face to hers and kissed him and he didn’t pushed her off my heart clenched together for a moment before it shattered into a million little pieces.

"Yeah… he’s definitely not appalled…" I mumbled and downed my Tequila Sunrise and then finished off Charles abandoned Moscow Mule. Then I got up and walked straight to the bar.

"3 Tequila shots." I shouted to the bartender who nodded and poured me my shots which I downed one by one. Then I ordered another Tequila Sunrise for now and told the bartender to serve another one in the next 15 minutes at our table.

"You should slow down a bit, Lizzie. You haven’t eaten much tonight…" Joris said and I just shook my head.

"I’m fine, I can handle it!" I said as I watched Camille and Charles dance together, bodies grinding on each other. I downed the rest of my drink as the waiter served me my next one already "What a nice evening to celebrate the end of the year, Joris!" I mumbled and downed the new drink even faster than the last one. It wasn’t even close to midnight as I got up and grabbed my bag.

"Where are you going?" Joris asked and got up as well.

"I’m leaving. I don’t feel that great. And I don’t want to be the fifth wheel. You have your date and Charles has his new girlfriend. I’m leaving and go home!" I answered and Joris looked at me with a hint of pity in his eyes "It’s fine, Joris." I said and kissed his left and then right cheek before heading for the door.

"You’re not saying goodbye to Charles?" Joris asked with big eyes but I just shrugged my shoulders and left the club, not even caring that I ran into someone.

Outside I almost tripped down the stairs, someone helped me but I just didn’t care, I got in a taxi and drove to Charles flat, where I used the spare key he gave me. Using it never felt wrong, but tonight… tonight it did so I put it on the counter and went to the guest bedroom, packed my bag and wrote a little note for Charles. Then I laid it under the spare key and left the flat while tears were streaming down my face.

Charles POV:

As I saw Lizzie’s bright smile that could take me to another planet every damn time I saw it, I knew I had to do something, I couldn’t stop staring at her beauty and I wanted to just kiss her, so when Camille approached I didn’t dodged her like usually, I let it happen, but after a short conversation where I tried my best not to stare at Lizzie, Camille kissed me and although it felt wrong I didn’t stop her. Maybe this was the way to get over the feelings I had for Lizzie. Maybe this was my way out.

After some more dances I looked over at Joris again, talking with his date, no Lizzie next to him. I walked over and he looked up.

"Where is Lizzie?" I asked and he only shook his head.

"She didn’t wanted to be the fifth wheel and left, she said she would go home." Joris answered and I called Lizzie immediately. The call went straight to her voicemail.

Another try. Voicemail. What’sApp. No answer. iMessage. No answer. Maybe she was asleep already? My heart clenched, this would be the first New Year’s Eve in over 10 years that we wouldn’t spent together. I hated it. And as the clock stroked midnight and Camille kissed me, my only thought was Lizzie. And where she was. Not even 30 minutes later I left the club, telling Camille I had some sponsor meeting early in the morning but promising her to call her the next day. Back home I opened the door, wondering why it wasn’t locked.

"Lizzie?" I whispered when I walked into the guest bedroom to found it empty "Lizzie? Are you in the bathroom?" I knocked on the door but it was unlocked and the room behind it empty. Where was she? I walked into my room. Empty. Living room. Empty. The last stop was the kitchen. But she wasn’t here either. As I turned to leave the room, my eyes were catching on the spare key and the note under it.

"Charles.

I left because I thought you might want to have some alone time with your new girlfriend tonight. Didn’t felt right to keep the key when you’re having her over.

Happy New Year.

Lizzie."

Left where? My new girlfriend? Camille? She wasn’t my girlfriend? We made out a little, which was a mistake, but that was it. I took out my phone and called her again. But this time the call was answered.

"Charles?" my mum asked and I was confused.

"Maman? Why do you have Lizzies phone?" I asked her.

"Uhm, Lizzie showed up here, 20 minutes ago. She’s drunk Charles, really drunk. She didn’t look happy either. And she was half frozen! I made her a hot tea and now she’s in bed! What happened? She was with you I thought?" she whispered it as if not to disturb Lizzie.

"We were, she said to Joris she didn’t felt to good and left, I was dancing with a… with a friend and hadn’t realised that she was gone…" I mumbled and put my shoes back on "I’m on my way."

"No! Please stay at home, Charles." Mum said and I swallowed hard "I’m sorry, but I could clearly see that Lizzie was upset, no sad would be more fitting, and she must’ve cried a lot! So whatever happened, I want to talk to her alone, maybe she’ll open up to me!"

"Ok." I whispered "Take care of her. Love you." I hung up. Taking my shoes off, walking back into my bedroom, got out of my clothes and laid down in my bed. What happened that she left so abruptly? And what happened after that? Why did she leave my place? Left the key? What’s going on? My phone vibrates and I checked it immediately, but was disappointed when it was a message from Camille and not Lizzie.

"Tonight was amazing. Thank you! I’m so happy it finally happened between us!"

I swallowed hard. Camille is a nice girl, but I had no feelings for her. But maybe I could give it a try…

"What happened last night? It seemed like Charles didn’t know where you were when he called?" Pascale asked me and I just shrugged "Oh come on, ma petite fille! You know you can tell me everything, Lizzie!"

"I didn’t like being the fifth wheel…" I mumbled, taking a sip of my tea.

"Fifth wheel?" she cocked an eyebrow and I just nodded.

"Joris had his date. Charles had his girlf… Charles had a date as well… and yeah I didn’t like being the fifth wheel." I answered and Pascale looked at me confused.

"Charles had a date?" she asked and I took another sip of my tea.

"Yup…" I sighed and Pascale stroked my arm "I know I shouldn’t just left the club and walk drunk through Monaco. But yeah…"

"It’s okay, Lizzie. But you can’t do something like that again, it’s dangerous!" she said and I nodded "Charles called like a hundred times, I think he will show up eventually in the next minutes.”

"Ok…" I answered and went straight to the bathroom. After a quick shower I pulled on the leggins and sweater Pascale gave me, checked myself in the mirror and brushed my teeth. I could hear the door and shuffling in the hallway, hushed French.

"I talked to her, she’s ok. She’s in the bathroom."

"Why did she leave? And why was she crying?"

"Oh Charles, you know why! Who was that date of yours? You want to tell me something?"

"Date? I met Camille, from school, you remember?"

"Unfortunately I do, yes."

"Yeah well we hung out a little, she’s nice."

"Whatever."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, Charles. Wait in the living room. I’ll make tea."

I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. I can do this. I can face him.

"Ma belle! I was so worried!" Charles jumped off of the sofa and hugged me "What happened? Why did you leave?"

"I didn’t feel well, I was drunk, bored and the being the fifth wheel sucked. So I left." I said and sat down in the armchair. The farest away from where he was sitting down, he looked at me confused and then scooted closer on the sofa.

"You weren’t the fifth wheel!" Charles expressed but I just scoffed.

"You left to get a round of shots and never returned. The next thing I saw was that girl shoving her tongue down your throat and your hands all over her! Joris next to me was flirting away with his date! And I just sat there alone. So yeah. I drank a bit and then I felt sick and left." I said it fast and Charles just sighed.

"Yeah, about that, Camille and I used to go to school together. We talked for a while and then I don’t know… maybe the alcohol did the rest…" he mumbled and I cocked an eye brow. What alcohol, he barely drank from his Moscow mule. But I decided to let it go. At the end of the day I had no right to be mad at him. So I swallowed the bile down, that began to rise up my throat and nodded.

"It’s okay. I was drunk myself and made stupid decisions… but she seemed nice and she’s really pretty! So if you like her. Go for it." I said it with a smile, trying to sound genuine even tho it hurt saying it.

"Yeah well, we’ll see." he answered as Pascale appeared with some more tea.

"I guess we will…" I said and drank my tea in silence. I had to accept the fact that Charles would have a girlfriend from now on in his life. A girlfriend that’s not me. A girlfriend that is so much prettier than I am, so much more fitting for a rising star in F1 and future World Champion. But if he would be happy, I would be happy too. For him. Because that is what was the most important for me: his happiness.

————————————————————————

Little Note:

I’m back from my little summer break and here it is, Chapter 6 🥰

Pleaaaase leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts! Like seriously! I'm open to any criticism, bad or good, it doesn't matter!

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Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

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