#wrote this in my head at 1 am so sorry if it’s rambly

[aldryrththerainbowheart]

HIIII OMG I LOVE YOUR WRITING. Its so comforting but also quite accurate to the character’s personality.

I wondered if u could make a part 2 of Drunk, with Adrian and the reader.

Be free with your imagination i am sure it will turn out great!

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Hi anon, sorry it took me so long to answer but I had no ideas what to write for this request. 😳

My writing has changed a little since I wrote part 1 of this. Hopefully, it'll be still up to standard.

Days after the incident, Adrian was still haunted by the things he had said and might have said while inebriated. It seemed rather silly, considering you haven't mentioned anything about that night, kind as you were. However, the son of Dracula was shaken after exposing himself to you, in more ways than one.

At the memory of him practically showing his naked chest in your face whilst rambling drunkenly about his loneliness, he could feel his face warming up. He undoubtedly has that unflattering shade of pink on his right now. Adrian lifted his chin from his steepled fingers, pressing his forehead against them instead. Instead of moping behind the wooden table, he should be making dinner as he watched bits of dust dancing in the last rays of evening sun streaming through the Tudor windows.

At this moment, you're probably getting both their beds ready for the night. Pulling back the bedspread and making a fire in the fireplace. You made a habit of slipping a stem of lavender from the garden and putting it under the pillows. He can hear you fussing about it, even though you're one floor higher. The dhampir's senses were finely attuned to your every breath and every movement. It came to the point where it was torturous. He wasn't just trying to dull away the pain of his past, but these pressing feelings as well.

Damn him, again and again, he's becoming attached to people only to be left every time. No doubt you will leave too, once you're able to. He'll be nothing but a fond memory...

"How's the dinner? I hope there'll be someplace left on the stove for teap-"

He's dragged away from his gloomy thoughts by the sudden sound of your voice nearing the door. You stopped mid-sentenced when you saw him sitting at the kitchen table, instead of working at the stove. He felt an immediate pang of guilt.

"Apologies I've seem to be a bit addle-brained today."

Adrian offered an apology as he started pulling the cutlery from its hooks. Hopefully with his back turned and his hands occupied, you won't notice his rather obvious fluster.

"Ah, it's alright," you waved him off in a placating manner as you rounded the table towards him. "Head still spinning from the vine, I see." you teased him as he made a fire in the stove, almost making him set his brows on fire.

As you walked past him, you gently put your hand on his back to make him step away. A whisper of a touch, yet he was tingling all over, his heart beating irregularly.

He clutched the edges of the stove, ignoring the rising heat. It can't go on like this. He has to do something.

You prepared the dinner in relative silence. You chopped mushrooms as he prepared pastry into small pans. Soon, bulky savory tarts were pulled out of the stove. He watched you wolf down four tarts in the row, while his plate was left neglected, safe for the few pokings with the fork.

"Adrian?"

His head snapped to you at the sound of your voice. He noticed you were looking at him in concern.

"What is it? You've been spaced out for days now." It was your turn to study your plate as you mumbled, "Is it...about the kiss?"

He was definitely blushing now. Adrian took a generous gulp of water from his chalice as he contemplated his answer.

"Yes and no."

You looked at him in confusion and he sighed in resignation.

"I'm sorry...my friend. The thing is..." He caressed the grooves in the ground glass. Would she even understand? What kiss meant to him?

"There have been several attempts in my life. There have been people who stayed in this castle pretending to be my friend and then turning on me as soon as I became vulnerable."

Adrian closed his eyes momentarily, chasing away the tainted memory of their hands coiling around him like vines of a poisonous plant. The pleasure, and the pain. So, so much pain... He opened his eyes and there were your eyes, filled with some much tenderness he had to suppress the urge to look away again.

"But last night, you didn't... and you could, easily so."

"I'd never-"

"I know, I know," he gently cut you off by putting his hand over yours. Your palm was much warmer than his, dainty fingers covered completely by his long ones.

"Believe it or not, but you singlehandedly restored a great deal of my hope in humanity. What once had been destroyed..."

He hasn't allowed his mind to wander to dark places, not this time.

"I don't mean to bring up such depressing subjects. But when one leads a life such as mine, you tend to... figure some things out."

"Things?" You carefully prompted, pity overrun by curiosity at last.

Adrian smiled in a self-deprecating fashion. "Well, for example, I have now discovered that in this entire world, I only have one close friend. You are my only solace, the only person that I can talk to regularly."

There was Trevor and Sypha, of course, but they found solace in one another, something deeper than friendship. Adrian understood now, what those feelings meant. His next words were full of emotion.

"I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't know if more demons will come and I'll be forced to fight them off. I don't know if the world will end tomorrow... and that used to not bother me. I used to not mind the idea of death. To slip into the quiet sleep..."

He trailed off, and you squeezed his fingers in encouragement. He squeezed yours right back, so you know he's not spiraling again.

"However, whatever courage I have towards that cause always sours at the thought of what comes after. What does come after do you think?"

You looked over his shoulder in contemplation, you traveled places far away from here, no doubt. Thankful you're entertaining his silly musings, Adrian patiently awaits your response.

"I'd like to think it's a place where I meet all my loved ones once more." You gave him a warm smile.

He chuckles at that. "Interesting response."

"What about you? What do you think?"

Adrian shook his head, golden locks tumbling over his shoulders, "As I said, the fear of not knowing that is the only thing that kept me alive for quite some time. But now, now that I've spent some time with you, it allowed me to clear my mind of that sort of dangerous thought. I think I may have an answer, maybe not a very good one but..."

He gingerly trails his hand from yours to the curve of your elbow and you let him. He leans closer, tone bordering on a soft whisper as he looks into your eyes.

"It doesn't matter what comes next, that shouldn't dictate our actions while we are still here. If you want something, chase it." He puts the other hand on your cheek, making his intentions clear with his actions and his words. Carefully, so you can pull away at any time.

Please don't.

"You have allowed me, to come to this mindset," he sighs. "The thought that what I want is worthwhile to pursue. So I will pursue that which I want. I will pursue... you."

It is evident that his words left you speechless. You stare at him with your mouth slightly parted. Adrian lets out a small breathless chuckle.

Is it really that shocking? After our lips have already become acquainted?

"I know...I know that I'm... half human, half vampire, so at the very least I know it can work, but it's up to you, really." His thumb caressed your cheekbone, "I will continue to pursue you for as long as you allow me."

He can see your eyes glistening with emotion, and he hoped his words touched the part of your soul he wanted them to. However you still haven't said a word and Adrian needs you to voice your desires, or lack thereof, directly.

"I bid you command me now. My devotion is solely placed at your feet. I truly cherish you. Every step you take and breath you breathe."

You close your eyes and choke back a sob as he places one small kiss on your forehead.

With a voice clogged up with emotion, you finally release him from his torment.

"I... would love... nothing more... than to be pursued by you." You say as you give him a watery smile.

He lets out a relieved sigh as he presses his forehead to yours.

"Then pursue you I shall."

It takes only a moment for the atmosphere to change around you. With hunger, you never saw in his eyes, he whispers to you hoarsely.

"Come here, you..."

The kiss is devoid of any sweetness the first one had. This one is full of fire and blood and passion that takes your breath away. You don't have time to react as he pulls you to his lap. His kiss goes down your throat and settles in your belly like a fine liquor.

[nhlclover]

drunken | rutger mcgroarty

summary: after going over your limit, your boyfriend has to come and pick you up.

request: yes / no

warnings: drinking, teensy tiny bit of angst

a/n: wrote this instead of studying for my exams... also I'm testing out writing from a different pov not sure how i feel about it

word count: 0.9k

The night started with a promise to yourself that you would stick to your limit of at most four shots and a beer or two. However, with the excitement of it being your friend's birthday and free drinks coming left and right, you had well exceeded that limit.

At 1 am Camilla, the most sober of your group, decided that you guys should go home and get a head start on sobering up. She dragged you and your other drunk friends outside, planting you on the curb. Camilla grabbed your phone, calling your top contact.

Rutger was awoken by his phone ringing from the nightstand, his screen illuminating the whole room. He looked at it, seeing your contact photo on the screen. He pressed the answer button, only for his ear to be filled with shrieks and laughter, followed by a scolding voice.

“Hello?” He asks.

“Rutger?” A voice asked.

Rutger furrowed his brows at the unfamiliar voice coming in the place of what should’ve been his girlfriend’s. “Who’s this?” He asked.

“It’s Camilla!” She shouts. Rutger connects the dots, now recognizing the voice of your friend. “Don’t worry, y/n is fine she just — bitch I told you to sit on the curb we are not going back in the bar!”

Rutger chuckles to himself, knowing she was probably yelling at you. “Sorry, um she just had a little too much to drink and she was supposed to take an Uber home but I don’t want to send her alone. Is there any way you could come and get her?” Camilla asked.

Rutger was out of bed in an instant. “Yeah of course. Can you guys stay with her till I get there?” He asked. Camilla says of course, as Rutger pulls up the location of your phone.

15 minutes later, Rutger’s familiar car is pulling up next to the curb in front of you. He hops out of the car, seeing you sitting next to one of your friends, your head resting on her shoulder. When you spot him, your head shoots up and you scramble to your feet.

“Hey babe.” He chuckles, catching you as you step off the curb.

“What’re you doing here?” You ask, your words slurring together.

“I’m gonna drive you home.” He says. Rutger spots your heels and purse on the ground, grabbing them as you were about to forget them. “Babe, can you put your heels on I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

You keep trying to walk to the car, despite your lack of shoes. Rutger grabs a hold of your waist, picking you up off the ground. You squeal, gripping his shoulder and kicking your feet. “Y/n, baby, stop squirming.” Rutger said, tightening his grip on your hips.

“Byeeeeee!” You shout over his shoulder to your friends who await their own Uber.

Rutger opens the passenger door, placing you in his passenger seat and handing you your belongings. He thanks your friends before climbing in the driver's seat and pulling onto the street. You crank the volume of the radio, The Weeknd filling the car and rattling the base. Glancing over at your boyfriend, you looked at him adoringly. His face was briefly illuminated by passing cars and streetlamps.

“God you’re so pretty!” You shout over the music. “I am so so so in love with you.”

He chuckles, shaking his head at your drunk rambling.

“I think we should just go to Vegas and get married, right now.” You suggest. Rutger looks over at your face, which indicates that you’re serious, causing him to let out a loud laugh. “Rut, I’m serious.”

“I think that you're really drunk right now and I don't think you're going to remember any of this.” He says.

“I'm not drunk.” You pout, crossing your arms over your chest. “You're just super blurry right now.”

He laughs once more, causing you to laugh as well. A few minutes later, you guys pull into the driveway, Rutger getting out immediately to come to help you inside the house. He grabbed your shoes and your purse, taking you by the hand and walking inside.

“Let’s go get ready for bed, hm?” Rutger suggests.

As soon as you get into your bedroom, you flop down on the bed. Rutger grabs you a t-shirt from his drawer and some sweatshorts, urging you to change into them.

“Did I tell you how much I love you?” You ask him, taking the clothes.

“You did.” He nods.

Rutger helps you out of your mini-skirt and out of your mesh top. He slips his shirt over your head, a bit of makeup rubbing off on the hem, and helps you step into the shorts. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, albeit a sloppy one due to your drunken state. He pulls away a little quicker than normal, putting you on your side of the bed.

You frown at this. “Am I annoying you?” You ask him.

He turns to you a small smile on his face. “Not at all, baby.” He says, planting a soft kiss on your cheek.

“Are you sure?”

“100%.” He reassures you, climbing into his side of the bed. He removes his glasses and puts them on his side table

“I feel like I’m being annoying though.” You frown, pulling your knees into your chest. “Are you sure I’m not annoying you?”

“If you keep asking I’m going to get annoyed real fast.” Rutger said under his breath, but loud enough that you heard it.

Small tears began to fall down your cheeks. A small sniffle made Rutger flip over and face you, seeing your eyes welling with tears.

“Baby, baby, I’m sorry.” He said. He snakes his arms around you, pulling you into his torso. “That was mean. I’m sorry love.”

He kisses the side of your head, resting his chin on your shoulder

“So I wasn’t being annoying?” You ask again.

“A little.” He admits. “But even when you’re annoying me I still love you.”

[abiiors]

meet cute 🧡 // ross macdonald x reader

promptober '23 - day 1

a/n: full disclosure, i wrote this for alex a long time ago based on a story he told. anyway i'm so excited to do this eeeee!!! cw: bad flirting and even worse puns i am so sorry wc: 800

“next please,” the cashier announces as you walk up to the till. 

this has been a lazy morning for you as you stand there, bundled up against the chilly october air. your plan for today is a simple one; wake up at a semi-respectable time, get breakfast at your favourite bakery, wander around, and maybe go to the new bookstore that’s just opened up. just take it slow for the day. it isn’t often you get to have these slow days to yourself anyway. 

“good morning,” you smile at the cashier, handing her the breakfast sandwich and asking for a cappuccino. 

“that would be £5.49, is there anything else i can get you?” she asks.

you look around to see if anything else catches your eye and right there, behind the till are the most adorable cookies you have ever seen! little pumpkins and zombies and witches, you name it. 

you point at them, “can i also have one of those ghost cookies, please?” 

the voice that comes out, however, is not yours. instead, it’s deep, masculine and rather attractive. you turn to look at the man only to find him already looking at you. just as you suspected—he is gorgeous and has a charming dimple-y smile that is now directed at you. the leather jacket he’s wearing is the perfect kind of vintage that fits him just right. his hair is tied up in a bun, a few strands escaping. it dawns on you then, you have indeed also asked for the cookies—perfectly in sync with this handsome stranger. 

he turns back to the cashier in front of him, “wow, you could say they’re selling like ghost cookies,” he finishes with a shit-eating grin, clearly proud of himself.

the poor cashier just looks so confused that you can’t help the laugh that escapes you. it’s such a bad joke really, the fact that you laughed at it says more about you than him. but you can’t help yourself. 

“glad to see someone appreciates my humour,” he smiles widely at you again. 

“well…i wouldn’t exactly call it humour,” you tease back as you finish paying for your food. 

“well, got you to laugh though, didn’t i?” he flirts back. 

just as you are about to leave the store, he hurries after you. on the one hand, you could forget about this cheeky little interaction with a hot stranger or you could see where it goes. before you have the chance to overthink that, he stops in front of you. 

“i’m ross,” he smiles, a hint of shyness quite clear on his face even when he properly towers over you.

you bite your lip to keep your grin under control, coyly letting your name slip. if it were even possible, ross smiles wider.

“and just so you know,” you continue, “i was laughing at the poor cashier’s face.” your tone is light enough that he knows you’re teasing. you laugh when he responds with an over-exaggerated sad face. 

you both step outside the bakery, the chilly october air nipping at your cheeks. the warmth of the cappuccino cup in your hand is a comforting contrast. ross looks around, a little pink from the cold air, a little hesitant just like you are. 

“so i guess i—”

“i was just planning on wandering around town by myself,” you look away, a bit mortified when you realise you’ve interrupted him. he was probably about to say goodbye and go on his own way. a little voice in your head groans at you, reminding you that not everyone is as free as you are today. 

“oh my god i’m so sorry. i’m sure you’re busy, sorry, i just assumed. forget i—”

“not a ghost of a chance,” ross interrupts your rambling, face splitting into a shit-eating grin one again—clearly proud of his terrible pun. 

it’s so bad, you should be groaning at it and rolling your eyes. instead, it makes you giggle. 

“i would love to join you if that’s what you were offering,” he smiles again. it reaches his warm, hazel eyes, making them crinkle at the sides. 

“i don’t know what your plans were… but, yeah, i wanted to check out this bookstore?” 

“a reader,” he nods appreciatively, walking alongside you and sipping from his coffee. you turn to study his profile. he’s tall and handsome and exactly like someone from a romance movie. seems impossible that a day that started out as a casual saturday is turning out into something purely out of fiction. 

“i try,” you hum, taking a bite of your ghost cookies. they’re delicious—sweet and crumbly and buttery. ross laughs when you involuntarily let out a moan. 

“sounds like i made a great decision,” he winks, digging inside the paper bag to fish out his own—a little jack-o-lantern. 

“sounds like you did,” you respond, happily taking a second bite. 

lemme know what you think <33

taglist: @scooby-doodoo, @partoftheairforce, @justgoatsbreakinghearts0855 @beachesgetpeaches, @you-muppet, @mcabister, @alexmarie29, @at-her-very-foreign, @hfkait, @squishysoupy @sierraeslaprincesa @harrie-fic-center @alien-girl-violet @thereisaplaceintheheart @kennedy-brooke @lolidontknowanymore @theoriginalwhatsername @celestcies @sugarkane1001 @ari-turner @thewaywewereinsaigon @daphnesutton @beliefandsayingsomething @ros3chu

add yourself to the taglist

[darkdemeter]

Dem Hi! I'm back with a bit of an unhinged ask here:

Im sure this doodle gives you an idea where this is going. I was just making myself some tea, and I was thinking about Lovers In Eden (i was going to listen to a song called Eastward of Eden by Amelia Day,hence the association). And Since I am a film student, a writer and i took script classes as my subject las trimester, i offer you this unhinged recap of my conspiracy theory. So LIE (Lover in Eden) introduces us to the idea that Strife killed Y/N after a bloodlust outburst,right? Well, at first i didnt think too much of it, but then the chapter ends with the four on earth, which felt a little disembodied from the prologue. Which brings me to the hipothesis which is: Strife's lover is on earth,reborn without their memories. My proof for this theory is this: 1) We know that in the darksiders universe there is such thing as a well of souls, we know they go through the kingdom of the dead to repent and then be reborn through the well. 2) you wouldntve put the line "Love slayer" if it wasnt relevant to the plot. (Writing often times includes phrasing things a certain way to hint at other things). 3) Why would you close the chapter where you did? What relevance does the fact that the four are now on earth have? Simple, Strife will find a reborn,survivor Y/N and will fall in love with them (and have a crisis once he realizes its a whole like soulmates finding eachother again situation) 4) and last (which came to me as i wrote this) if you were to center the story only on Strife and the reader without the reader being reborn, you wouldve just started it from the medieval age/wherever strife met the reader and not end with the four on earth. Of course dont gotta tell me if im right,dont want to spoil the whole fic anyways. But I felt the need to share this with you. (I genuienly felt like the pepe silvia meme). And yeah, one offshoot of all this is that maybe the reader isnt a reborn soulmate, and that the prologue could just set up this inherit guilt and fear towards love that Strife has. Until we get the next chapter, i lay in wait...scheming/lhj/hj Have a nice rest of your day and i hope you've enjoyed my unhinged ramble. -Jer. PD: i feel so silly for sending this whole thing but as a fellow writer i know theres nothing we love more than ppl theorizing about our stuff. So here you go. I hope it doest read as overbearing,i just genuienly love your stuff.

First off, I love your pepe doodle! It’s so perfect. In fact I find it so funny that I made this a little bit ago myself... (As much as I'd love to rant and such about my AUs' lore and headcanons, I made this for shits and gigs)

I absolutely adore hearing theories readers have about my fics. (Sorry this has taken FOR-EV-ER to respond to, I'm terrible with replying at times)

I also fucking LOVE that you're a film student, I think that makes this whole theory situation even better because I do tend to have a very movie-esque thought process when writing. (Blooper reel and BTS footage rent free in my head)

And I think I've got the mind stewing a bit with that recent post, Flowers From My Lover. Without hopefully giving away anything, you do have some valid and interesting points in your theories and has me going, "Oh Jer is good little detective." You get a cookie for your theory skills!

There are indeed certain key details and clues I put in on purpose and it's so interesting to see what readers pick up on. And yes, the well of souls is involved to some extent in this plotline, but not in the way you might think...

I also find your choice of the word "reborn" interesting. Very obviously and right out the gates, I will say that yes, reader is alive in this story. But it's the manner in which reader's alive and again, the reborn theory is interesting and again, possibly not in a way you're expecting. Though it seems rather simple, I will tease that there is... quite a bit more to it than what's at face value.

And I wanna tease this little clue too because it is one of my favourites: It's interesting how the fic's title has a double meaning in plain sight...

[fandoms-in-law]

To the Past Versions

Summary: Steve gets pushed to write letters to his past by Dustin, and then Robin when he isn't nice in the first. It does eventually help him.

Authors note: I am ever confused when words fall easily. I write constantly so it happens often enough, but if I have a prompt I expect to get stuck. Today I did not, happily so.

The idea for this fic: Dear self esteem* as a Steve fic except he's really just writing to memories, wondering when he stopped feeling like he could do anything/be anything

*A sanders sides fic I wrote a while back

/\/\

Attempt 1:

Hey Steve,

So Dustin has it in his head that we all need to write to the past to get mentally healthy or something, sounds like bullshit, which is what you are, so I picked you to write to.

You’re so wrapped up in yourself, you don’t even realise how much of an asshole you are. You Don’t treat Nancy right now, and barely get better after you sleep with her. You’re a complete jackass, who I and everyone I’ve basically ever met hates and that’s without knowing you most of the time.

Literally, I meet people I thought were complete strangers, or maybe classmates I never interacted with, and get told how horrible you are. That’s how bad you are. You’re worse than complete garbage and trust me, I’ve met men like that enough to know.

Get your head out of your ass, stop bullying people for no reason and fucking learn money solves basically nothing. It just lets you pretend the problem isn’t there until you run out of it.

Thanks for nothing, And better grovel for Nancy to help you learn to be better, you useless prick.

Steve.

Attempt 2:

So, somehow Robin found out about my first letter and got mad about it? She’s telling me to right to a past me that I actually like and seems set on doing so until she thinks I’m healthier. There were threats to show it to Dustin involved and I do not want to know how he’d react. He’s already acting oddly, along with the other kids since Robs found it. I think she spoke to them too.

Sorry for the ramble, Steve, hello.

You’ll meet Robin soon so don’t worry over having no clue who she is. The kids have already inserted themselves into your lives and I still agree that you’re better for it.

I think the first time I actually liked myself was because of those kids. For once I wasn’t a Harrington, or a basketball player; I was a guy who could help them, protect them in a way Nancy never let me feel like I had done. (We both know I was the one who won against that demogorgan not her or Jonathan though)

Times are shit for you outside of the kids though, but I miss those days. Even if Billy liked to lord over me that he was king now, it was nice to be in the background at school, and stand a chance of learning in lessons instead of Tommy yanking me into parties or rubbish that I never enjoyed. Heck I even enjoyed a few of the classes that year. Who knew I could be interested in that stuff?

Life gets better though, even if it comes looking like horrid situations sometimes. And the kids will be there nagging you through it all. I love those shitheads.

Keep going.

Steve.

Attempt 3:

Hey Steve,

Erica would have gotten involved regardless. It might be horrible that you and Robin were the ones to do it when she was so young, but I think it was better for her. This last time was the worst and I’m glad she wasn’t trying to understand it all without something to get out of it. You don’t have to carry that guilt forever. At least share some of it with Robin since she was the one who came up with the idea and acted before asking me or Dustin if it was sensible to try.

I wish you had done that ceremonial burning of the scoops outfit though. You and Robs joked about it so much in the weeks after the fire but here I am, with Eddie fucking Munson begging me to wear it again just so he can see the old uniform fully assembled.

Seriously, go burn it now whenever you don’t get a letter from the future appearing

Steve

Attempt 4:

Dear Steve,

Kiddo, you know these people you think are friends aren’t. I wouldn’t call the kids I look after kiddo but somehow it works for 13yr old me. Popularity isn’t friendship, it’s people pretending to like you because they think that’ll get them something; I wish you weren’t so desperate for friendship and connection you fell into it.

This is the last year I remember trying to stop someone insulting another person. You got called a bleeding heart for months and if you even grimace at the worst bullying happening around you Tommy or one of the other people hanging onto you would turn everything onto ‘bleeding heart Harrington’. The poker face you develop because of it still hasn’t been broken when Eddie decides everyone should play cards.

Steve, you have hell coming before you, and despite the monsters and location that matches that name better to most people, for you that is high school and being forced to the top all because you wanted friends. You get through it, you find monsters and discover what real friendship is after all of that. I think someone in history class said something about if you’re going through hell keep going and that’s what you need to do, what I did.

But, kid, still keep trying to be kind when you can. I know it feels precarious, dangerous, to have everyone looking at you and see the bullying they do to anyone shown to be human. I know how scared I felt that it’d turn on me if I refused any of those people I thought were friends too much, but you try, I tried, as much as I could for as long as I could, until I got here.

You’re going to be lonely for a while, Steve, but not forever, I promise you that.

I’ll see you in my reflection when I get stunned by my friends. They’ll find you eventually.

Steve

Attempt 5:

Dear Steve,

I dug out a picture to write this. One mom took just before leaving saying she’d get it developed so she could never forget her darling boy. Two promises broken at once because I found that camera, and the film still inside it a decade later, the picture still undeveloped until I asked Jonathan if he could.

Dustin was right when he read somewhere that writing to our past could help us feel better, but he was wrong too. He suggested times I could write to for stupid things or times following what he thinks are the big traumas, but those are easy. I knew more of the world then, but you’re just a kid, younger than Erica was when I got to know her and needing far more protection than I think she’s ever done.

If Robin had brought you into the back room of Scoops that day I might’ve done the most sensible thing ever and just driven out of Hawkins, you and Dustin packed into the back seat to try and figure out how to survive. Until Mrs Henderson took Dustin back because she loves him so much.

Sometimes it hurts to witness that, because of your year, 8yrs old and absolutely sure I was a big boy who could cope with a few nights home alone because mom wanted to go with father on a short trip. You shouldn’t have been, have needed to be, and for a long time I’ve been sad about that.

Mom and father were home last week and she found the picture, said she didn’t remember getting it developed. I didn’t correct her. Because you were lonely, scared, for so long, and now I’m mad.

I know you get through it, become the best cook to start taking home economics and almost kill yourself mixing cleaning products enough times you didn’t need chemistry class to tell you what makes poisonous gases. You get to become me eventually, but you shouldn’t have. I could never imagine leaving one of the kids I look after home alone in the way you were, and that’s on our parents. They failed you, even before now, but at 8 was the first time you wondered it. You didn’t need to correct yourself then although I know you did. Mom and father failed you.

We make it, and they will realise they’ve been strangers my whole life when they come home to emptied rooms, bills unpaid and no forwarding address. I move out next week to an apartment with friends.

You will have company again.

Steve

Attempt 6:

Your majesty, King Steve,

Eddie is pretty funny and I think I need his flavour of madness right now. Last time I tried to write to you I got mad, at myself more than at you. Then Robin both got mad and started paying attention to how she and everyone talks to me or about who I’ve been. She’s still mad but at herself and others now.

You aren’t good, Steve, but you weren’t as horrible as I began to think. I mean, even at what everyone thinks is my worst I went back to save Nancy. Robin pointed that out to me, sat down and dissected things I was sure I did at my worst, before Nance and I were officially dating.

Some things surprised her and I like knowing that I was a good friend, even to people who weren’t, because you are. You are there giving Carol pudding pots when Tommy ruins hers; there checking no one on the swim or basketball teams gets too hurt by teasing; there trying to make sure everyone claiming to be your friend has what they need.

Those aren’t things a bad person would do, just someone so caught up in protecting themself from the pain of loneliness and isolation that they compromise themself for company. Okay, Robin told me that too, but it tracks.

Most importantly, when I get the chance to be better, to know real connections, I take it. That’s pretty great of you.

Thanks Steve. You take the biggest step for us.

Attempt 7:

To Myself,

It’s been a long journey and I never thought I’d write to myself half so much as I have.

I’ve been popular, lonely, both at once, heartbroken, loved and to hell only to come out fighting. Concussions are far too familiar a sensation and I could probably make do living in the woods with the ways I learnt to cook.

Life is a trip and apparently I don’t get a choice about living it. But in all the letters to our past I’ve written there’s one thing I realised I’ve wanted someone to tell me for years and that’s that it’s okay to mess up. It’s okay if I wasn’t always the nicest person, or that I’m not smart, hardly perfect and have very little will to fight for myself or against other people. I don’t need to be perfect because with the right people we can make a wonderful imperfect family.

To us, Steve. To being myself, as best I know how.

[oneluckydragon]

GODDDDDD.. I SAW THE TAGS THAT YOU LEFT ON MY POSTS AND I AGREE WITH YOU SO MUCH.

Erida and Echo are such an interesting duo and honestly I can see Erida having even bigger of a struggle in trying to approach Echo first. Mainly because she's most definitely aware that her behavior and mannerisms resemble too much of Dusknoir's and if she were to ever find out about what the guy did to Echo and Sora.. yeah she'll be extremely careful when approaching out of fear to not set off any alarms (because it's already enough that someone she resembles who was nice turned out to be evil, what's stopping her from just ending up like him?). But once she regains her memories of her past life and finds out about Echo's origins as well? she'll be so worried for her. even when they both hailed from different worlds and acted differently, Erida will at least try to comfort Echo in her eternal self-struggle with her past, be it by trying to comfort her or at least be the shoulder she has to lay on when things get rough emotionally. She won't try to be pushy about it but she'll let Echo know that she isn't alone in her struggles and that Erida is just one call away if she ever needs her.

AND GAIA AND SORA.. don't even get me started.

I think what truly separates between Gaia and Erida and their backstories is that whereas Erida had her memories screwed over twice and didn't find out about who she was until later on, Gaia was aware of who she was/is on day 1. From the moment she landed on the Grass Continent, she knew what she was and what she hailed from, but masked her feelings about it and just saw everything that had happened as a second chance for a better life. And while she would absolutely love Sora just as much, her aura sensing abilities would scare Gaia a bit because a part of her tells her that the whole reason people treated her a bit nasty is because parts of her past life and soul just flared like an aura that set them off and told them exactly what they had to know about her, even if shes redeemed. but for Sora to know all of that and tolerate Gaia, and even go as far as ENJOYING her company??? that little claydol would cry tears of joy (if she had tear ducts, that is.). Just the idea of having a friend and someone who wants her around besides Erida is so foriegn to her that she might even doubt a bit and think that her chain is getting yanked. but once she knows it's legit, you bet that she'll levitate all happily around and be just as happy as Sora is.

they all mean so much to me... (sorry if i rambled too hard in your askbox... your girlies have taken a part in my head as well so the feeling is mutual.)

s1nn0hh OH MY GOD. I love your girlies. I love them SO much. The fact I wrote out all those tags and spammed you so much and you STILL took the time to respond with this!! I am unwell!!!

Erida being the one to struggle even more than Echo in the first stages of their friendship messes me up (Erida being so kind and patient and gentle because she's working on her own self-image and perception and AUGH I love her).

Echo is pretty bold so I can definitely see her warming up to Erida first despite the fact that Erida resembling Dusknoir so much brings back some harsh memories. But Echo could care less though. Erida is not Dusknoir and so she has nothing to do with those unfortunate experiences. And the idea of these two girlies being friends and UNDERSTANDING each other makes me unhinged. And Echo is so ferocious when it comes to protecting those she cares about (she will NOT lose another friend, she'll use her abilities to shelter the ones she loves) so if anyone even LOOKED at Erida cross-eyed once they're friends Echo would tear them apart.

(I am now thinking of a cute idea that when Echo and Erida laugh or feel happy together their gold rings glow in sync and light up and it's the most adorable thing I've ever considered in my entire life). They're like... nightlight besties. I love that for them.

And Gaia and Sora! I talked about this already but you agreeing that Gaia would adore Sora too once she realized that Sora genuinely likes her and enjoys having her around is!!! THE BEST!!! THING!!!

Sora would be so enamored with Gaia I am TELLING you. She is the type to write out letters to friends just to update them on even the most menial, but sweet things. Like flowers she saw that day which reminded her of Gaia's coloring. Or good food that she had and it made her think of happy memories w/ her friends. Or something like, "Gaia! Today, Echo and I visited Shaymin Peak. While climbing I picked up a little trinket called a Sky Gift and the Shaymin tell me that it's an item meant to be shared with those you care deeply about, otherwise the item inside will cease to exist when opened. Of course I thought of you! I hope it ends up being something worthwhile. Write to me soon!" (and the item ends up being a friend bow!!)

I'm sorry I'm just emotional over the idea of Gaia doubting Sora's friendship with her (because surely Sora /knows/ something is wrong with her, she can sense aura and thus Sora should fear her) but then a SKY GIFT manifests an item symbolizing their bond w/ each other and it's a FRIEND BOW. If that isn't the most literal "Sora adores you" moment in the world, then I don't know what else is.

To sum it up, Sora loves with her entire heart and she'd make no exceptions for Gaia. I want them to hang out all the time. I will not take criticism. c:

[dracomort]

Sorry if you've been asked this before, but where do you take inspiration for your stories and writing style? I have re-read every single one of your works on ao3, and i cant help but love the way you portray the characters, and how well you pace all the stories. It is detailed yet very simple and i absolutley adore it! So i was wondering weather you take inspiration from other authors, ffs, or does it just kinda spawn in your head?

Sidenote: you made me fall into the taco rarepair hole and i am forever grateful. You are amazing and your writing is so good i simply cant get enough of it <33333

Thank you so much!

Regarding writing style, I read too much Enid Blyton as a kid, so that bleeds through sometimes. C.S. Pacat is writing goals to me, so I aspire to her succinct, impactful sentences. I'm also easily influenced by whatever I'm reading at a particular moment, so if my characters begin spiralling into long paranoid rambles, you'll know I got myself into another Dostoevsky novel.

On story inspiration, I've always been a big daydreamer, so that's part of it. When I was a teenager, I used to like to watch the TV while it was turned off and just daydream aggressively till I could see the characters in my head on the screen lol.

I'm also a massive hater, so when I read something I disagree with, it inspires me to write. I think having something to say creates the best fiction. Writing for such a rarepair is also interesting because I can integrate ideas from Draco fics I've read and Tom fics I've read and create something new. Take the classic Drarry cliché of Harry giving Draco back his wand. It turns dark and twisted when, as in Blood, Voldemort is the one to return the wand (thus Harry is dead and Voldemort knows Draco lost or gave his wand to him).

Generally, I think in scenes rather than larger plot beats, so my fics tend to have more of an episodic/vignette-y vibe. I don't really do anything in particular to come up with those scenes, I just think about the fic throughout the day and when new scenes/dialogue occurs to me, I write them down. For example, with The Travelling Cabinet, I just had 1 scene in my head, which was Draco falling out of the vanishing cabinet while Tom is trying to close up shop. Then I just went and wrote the fic lol. Here's the original 'plan':

[misc-obeyme]

CC I'M SO EXCITED, I FINALLY GOT ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO COMMISSION THINGS FROM PEOPLE (it's like three different people AJDJWJF)

but the prices are good, two of the people needed it for emergency money so it was a good push to bite the bullet and message them. I'm so happy, I'm gonna have art of me and Mammon (and one is gonna be a sketch page of me, mammon, and a friend who also likes obey me). Also i lost my drawing streak, but I just drew a bunch of random poses today for fun, so it makes up lmaoo.

anyway I am here to ramble about the job my mc/I would have in the Devildom! definitely got roped into working at the bunny cafe for one (1) shift with Mammon (the daily chat is what gave me this idea).

Not sure how the cafe works, but in the anime, Beel is working the bar lolol. So I always imagined it as a bar with some food, and you could request certain servers by paying extra, and obviously give them carrots or tips. Like a mix between a maid cafe and a club I suppose is what I'm thinking?? (...Hooters? I've never been)

anyway I totally got coerced bullied into working a shift (I am always caving when it comes to Mammon </3). And my anxiety is terrible, I CANNOT talk to people (it's a wonder how I'm a manager), so I'd definitely stick to bussing tables and helping run super big orders with one of the guys. Maybe even have Beel teach me to make some drinks, because that seems really fun. Basically completely avoiding any kind of one on one service.

And I think there's been chats or devilgrams about mc gaining popularity and having a fan club, so imagine all these patrons requesting me, and the owner has to be like "unfortunately - no." And then someone is like, "I'll pay an extra $100 just to have her" and that's when the owner decides to ask if I'd be willing. Because it doesn't hurt to ask, right?

And I'm like, "Ha! I'd do it for $250", and like, I say it as a joke, but imagine Mammon overhears everything. He'd drag me to the table and say my price, and to everyone's surprise, the demon agrees to pay. Now everyone is like 👁️👁️ interesting.

and now I'm suddenly serving a random demon, and I'm nervous as hell (HA), and I'd honestly spill their drink or something on them. The bill comes, come to find they tipped way over 20%, and wrote a note about hoping to have me again. Now I've singlehandedly paid back a big chunk of Mammon's debt.

now THAT would change my mind real quick. I would do anything for money, I'm so easily convinced 💀 like imagine how much cash I could make in one shift. Anxiety who ??

It ends up becoming a part time gig, and I become the owner's favorite. I learn the bar for fun, and can be requested as a server for a big fee. I'd like to imagine Mammon works extra hard to earn the owner's favor and begs to work the same shifts as me (little does he know I request to work with him bc he makes me feel safe, especially if people get way too drunk)

I've literally brainstormed about this so much, and I've still got more ideas rattling in my brain, SORRY IT GOT SO LONG AAA

- ✨ anon

WOOO!! Congrats, ✨ anon! You are braver than I lol! I've been trying to work up the courage for months, but I keep talking myself out of it. Mostly because I want to commission art of my OCs and I feel absolutely ridiculous asking someone to please spend hours drawing this silly guy from my head lol. It's a me problem, I'll get over it one day. Anyway, I'm sure your commissions will turn out amazing! I hope you enjoy them!

OMG what but I love this idea!! Listen, I have the social anxiety, too (it's so bad wow), so I get it. But I looove that you've got things that help you work this job despite that! Mammon and Beel to count on when you need support and of course the motivation of just... making money!

And it's so sweet that you're making the money to help cover Mammon's debts. And I love that both of you are like... requesting to work together and the other person is unaware of it. That's adorable!

I'm always going to recommend writing your ideas down! It doesn't have to be story-style, sometimes just getting them out of your head in some form really makes a big difference! Especially if it's something you've never told anyone or written down before. Forcing yourself to articulate ideas in a way that would make sense to someone else (even if no one else ever sees it) really helps to make ideas more solid. Then you can expound on them even more! It's a never ending cycle for me lol.

Anyway, I love all of this, I think it's fantastic.

For my part, I'd absolutely be bunny-ing it up at the bar with Beel. I like the idea of him making Devildom drinks and MC making human world ones. The demons that are willing to pay top dollar for MC to wait on them are also willing to pay top dollar for MC's authentic human world drinks! Now you're really rolling in the Grimm!

[spiralstereo]

so remember when you jokingly said to “give Heartsong more trauma”

well I didn’t really give her trauma but I did give her a source of angst HDHDH

these exchanges I wrote are only the beginning of how Pickaxe and Heartsong’s usual interactions would go:

1.)

Heartsong: “Hi! Are you ready for this?”

Pickaxe: “What in the… am I seriously being forced to work with the most annoying one of her friends?”

Heartsong: “That… wasn’t nice…”

Pickaxe: “Who cares? Don’t they say that honesty is the best policy, and that the truth can hurt sometimes?”

Heartsong: “…”

2.)

Heartsong: “You know, it’s not too late to turn back!”

Pickaxe: “Why would I turn back? I love everything I’ve got in this life!”

Heartsong: “…um…”

Pickaxe: “Exactly.”

eating this shit up... this is rlly interesting ngl /gen when i was thinking trauma like.. im gonna ramble real quick

your heartsong is very forgiving. like...she tries to be heroic & some sort of guiding light but- she extends her kindness to the wrong people sometimes, right? i very clearly see that in her interactions with pickaxe & some of the older ones she had with my subspace

this is probably (most likely) going to hurt her, she's going to get her because she forgave someone who didn't deserve it or she trusted the wrong person- & she physically won't be able to forgive them. when i was thinking of trauma i had this cooking gears turning in my head

anyways sorri for rambling </3

[isthatbloodonhisshirt]

Oh My god I love the PJO show! I know they tweaked a bit of the storyline but to me it was still so so good. (Keeping it vague in case you haven't seen it). And the casting was 👨‍🍳💋 (Chef's kiss, but emoji form 😂). I *think* I successfully turned my asks on now if you wanna squeal into the void with me, or rant about changes. Either is fine.

Also.... I tried sending the following story in as an ask a while ago but it got lost to the void and I originally didn't wanna retype it all, but decided to anyway for you, so enjoy the story of why my grandma had a slight beef with RR himself. (Just a warning, it's kinda long bc I don't know how to compress my ramblings, and I also don't remember how I wrote it the first time. Plus, my original submission was before I found out it was totaled and now have to make an extra $300 monthly payment bc of my recklessness. And final FYI, I'm 99% satirical when I say she has beef. I don't *think* she remembers saying this but who knows 🤷‍♀️. I'll just avoid grandma and RR in the same room to avoid the 1% chance 😂

Ok, so on Sept. 28th, 2023, I was going to the Chalice of the Gods book tour in Houston. I had to go straight from work, pick up my younger cousins, and then head to the venue which was like 15 minutes away from their house, but bc I had dealt with Houston traffic getting home we would've gotten there right after 5. OK, no problem. EXCEPT I'm a dumb-dumb who did a really stupid thing and caused a wreck right before we got there (within sight of the venue), but luckily, no injuries were caused to either party. My car ended up being totaled out a week later, and I'm assuming the other car was, too, bc their airbags deployed. I felt so horrible and guilty, and my mom had to come get us, and we ended up missing the entire presentation. (Again - my fault). We did stop by the venue, though, to try and get the "goodie bag" (signed book, shirt, and reusable bag). On the way into the venue, my mom took us to the back way bc it was at my cousin's school and she knew a shortcut. As we were getting out of the car, there was a black SUV in front of us that had just had the occupants enter, and a school officer/HPD officer was walking away back towards the building. The side windows were tinted but the brief glance I got at the front windshield looked like Rick himself, along with Becky and some other people (probably the publisher and driver and whoever else). Anyway, they were trying not to be noticed, and SO WAS I bc I was still processing the wreck and randomly crying again everytime I stopped, so I didn't try to bring attention to him or ourselves. We got in right as the presentation ended and the hallway starts filling up with people and we have to navigate to get our books and stuff. I got a hug from the bookshop employees after explaining what's happening, and then we left. We get home, and I'm talking to my grandma and mentioning about how I possibly saw the author IN HIS CAR ND she goes "well the least he could've done was given you a hug and said sorry you missed it" I was like "I don't think he noticed us" and she said "well still..." (I tried explaining that not everyone who went stayed for the presentation, some people just get the goodie bag and leave (also like the other car I hit) but that still wasn't a good reason for my grandma.

This is so oooold omgggg I am sorry orz I watched the whole show too, and casting was definitely top tier. I really like the main trio, they had really good chemistry together, and Walker has the Percy "why me?" look down soooooo well, we love that XD But all three of them were so good (and don't get me started on Hades, what a freaking legend, absolutely phenom casting on that front lol)

I will admit I was kind of miffed about some of the changes though. Like, why did Grover stay behind during the whole getting the scarf mission, except it wasn't a scarf it was Ares' shield? I don't remember. But like, we didn't learn about Annabeth's fear of spiders or see the flying shoes in action, so??? And also Annabeth peacing out early in the Underworld, why was that necessary? ;~; Idk, overall I did like it and I had fun watching it, but some changes I was kind of confused on because they felt like changes used just to split up the cast and without any real purpose. Buuuut I'm nitpicking lol.

I AM SORRYYYYYY your other ask did come through, I was just not on Tumblr for like, ever. I am sorry orz and I'm sorry your car did end up being totalled :( I had said in the other message that I hoped your car ended up being okay, but it sounds like it wasn't and I am super sorry to hear that :( Hopefully things have calmed down (a year later ahaha |D) and you're doing better since that ordeal ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[bonesandthebees]

Bee I am very sorry for forgetting subtract the L’ from Manberg earlier :(( (in my defense I’ve kind of been busy reading Stars and haven’t gotten much of a chance to brainrot on Glass yet) but anyways, for whatever reason, it’s a bit difficult for me to picture what Eldingvegr (just realized that I misspelled it previously- my bad) looks like.

So ah…

Do you- Do you want to ramble about the appearance of the planet? It just seems very cool in concept but from where I’m at in Stars I don’t think it’s been elaborated on much.

Like architecture and culture and stuff

-🪞

I am responding to this ask very late my bad and I feel like I might've answered something similar to this in the past week or so but i'm sleepy and my memory is failing me so might as well provide more references

anyway of course i can ramble about the appearance of eldingvegr!

Eldingvegr as mentioned in the text is a tidally-locked planet, meaning it doesn't spin. one side of the planet always faces their sun, the other is always shrouded in darkness. the place where the day and night side meet to create dusk/sunset/sunrise/dawn creates a 'band' wrapped around the entire planet, while it's roughly only 1-2 thousand miles wide (this band is called the Røkkrring). as a result, when you're in the Røkkrring the sky is always a dusty shade of pink no matter the time of day or night. there's no such thing as a day/night cycle on Eldingvegr. the planet is standardized to 'galactic time' which is the time zone used by people traveling between planets on space ships

inside the Røkkrring, I always imagined buildings being made of white and grey shimmering stone with lots of metallic accents. for the royal palace that wilbur and tommy grew up in, think this kind of architecture/vibe

(by Ji Young Joo on ArtStation)

this isn't exact, I picture the towers a lot thinner and more futuristic looking I guess? and there's lots of gold accents as opposed to green and blue. I actually found what I thought was really accurate art of what I had in my head and then I realized it was AI art so :/ this art I linked here is still pretty good though!

other really good inspo for the vibes: the Antwerp Cathedral in Belgium! ironically I'd never seen a picture of this church or even heard of it when I wrote stars. it wasn't until I was in Antwerp back in September and my dear friend who was showing me around took me there that I was like holy shit wait this is like how I pictured the architecture in stars-

anyway it's all made of white/cream stone with lots of gold accents and is very gothic in architecture style. I'd say eldingvegr's architecture has less gothic influence, but the shape and colors and overall vibes are very similar

I hope that helps!

[notquitecharlie]

1/22/24

(I wrote this on paper last night or technically early this morning. Im doing a little better now. Not much but a little, I'm gonna transcribe it best I can because parts are rambly, I'm sorry)

Dear Friend,

I dont think i can do this anymore. I fucking know that I can't. I'm going back to the homeschool program that I used to do. I feel like the boy who cried wolf with every one of these letters but sometimes writing to you makes me feel ok for a little bit. I know how i'd do it. Wanna know something funny? I'm the problem! I mean that with sincerity. My parents rules aren't unrealistic. they just want me to be straight and normal. They just always want ti know who I'm with, where I am and what I'm doing and saying. It's not unrealistic. They're just caring and thats so good and ice and I'm so grateful that I have people that that that that that that care you know. It's makes me so happy. So happy. It's my fault. Isn't that silly? Are you laughing friend? I feel bad I never make you happy. You make me so happy, you're who I have and i just say sad sad sad sad fucking things alllll the time. But its funny you seem to care about me. You say nice things and you click the little heart but thats just becuase you dont know me. You care (or at least let me think you care) about some stupid 17 year old that's fucked up in the head and I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm so sorry. Why do you deal with me? I don't make anything better or nice or good. I am un-loveable. I am useless. I don't deserve to be alive. Why do you let me pretend people care? That's so kind. It's 2 a.m. I've been sitting in a corner of my bed since about 10 p.m. I haven't been reading, I've just been sitting here scared of myself. Too scared of myself to let myself get out to where the sharp things and the painkilling things are. I found this old notebook by reaching under my bed a minute ago. Imagine if someone I live with read this! That's be so silly friend. Everythings so silly. My parents said if I finish my associates degree before I'm 18 and I move out for college they won't support me or have a relationship with me. That's fair. A bit of bad timing though because I have a semester and a half of credits to complete. I'm so hungry and cold. Ha. Imagine if i died that way. I'm only 10 pounds underweight. I could be like the guy in Elevation by Stephen King and just watch it keep going down until it's time to die. That'd be funny. I don't remember the last time I felt hungry though. I don't eat much but I never get hungry either. This is odd. odd. odd. odd. odd. odd. But i can't get up and leave the bed. Writing has made it a little better but the kitchen? Where all the best things are? No. I'll be fine. I don't know what I'd eat anyways. I'm so sorry. I know it's bad to complain about hunger. I'm so sorry. I don't deserve food yet theres so much. I feel so bad about that. So bad. I hope you'll forgive me. And I don't know why I just complained about being cold when I have blankets. I'm so fucking ugrateful. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I am. I'll do better. I'll be better. I'm sorry.

Love always,

M.

[deepfriedpaddymayne]

i feel like augustin was making paddy's storyline a bit less bleak than it was historically and i was looking forward to seeing what they would do with them in s2. well, i guess joke's on us for getting attached to a frenchman...

I put off answering this ask because I KNEW that the moment I did I would start rambling and it sounds like that time has come so I am sorry in advance my friend

But, yeah, you've hit the nail on the head. Part of my attachment to having Augustin in s2, and to Augustin and Paddy, is specifically the fact that I just would really, REALLY like for Paddy to heal. I know that historical Paddy Mayne never really recovered from Eoin McGonigal's death, but they have taken other narrative liberties with the show and characters, and also, and this is kinda snarky, I just don't think that makes for a very interesting storyline to watch? Obviously grief in real life CAN be, and often is, like that, but when you are watching a show, you don't wanna sit through a character stuck in the same loop of grief for four seasons. Especially because (1)this show is not a tragedy. Yes, tragic things happen, but an important element of tragedy is the futility of the characters' actions to prevent the tragedy from happening. While this story STARTS with a tragedy, that first jump that doomed so many of them, we know that it won't END that way, because we know that most of these men will live, and more importantly, we know that their actions are not futile. With that in mind, the idea of Paddy's ending being him alone with his grief doesn't really sit well with me. Also because, (2) it's not like it would be hard to showcase that a part of Paddy will forever be defined by the loss of Eoin, while still giving him a healing process and a happier ending than he got to have IRL (there is a whole other rant here about how queer people engage with historical fiction and especially biographical historical fiction, which I actually wrote a wholeass essay about a few years ago lmao. Anyway).

And at least for me, it's important that part of that healing process DOES involve him having a romantic relationship again (I would be fine with it being just implied, the way it was with Eoin, though I would prefer it if it wasn't, because if Stirling gets to fuck his made up girlfriend in the sand, then Paddy should be allowed to kiss a man, but I digress). And the reason for that is that... ok, let's talk about Eoin. We actually know SO little about Eoin. There are hints here and there, but Eoin's main role within the story is loving Paddy (and also dying. And haunting the narrative). Which is fascinating, because I feel like while Paddy is casual about it, he does have a bit of a Thing about being unlovable and unlikeable - he tries to own up to it, but he slips a few times, like when he remarks that he will go to Stirling's funeral because Stirling liked him, FOR SOME REASON, and also his general deer-caught-in-headlights look when Eoin offers him affection, like he can't quite believe it's happening. Which is partly why the loss of Eoin hits SO hard - because Eoin loved him, in spite of everything about him, Eoin loved him so much that it was his main defining trait. And I fully believe that once he died, Paddy also saw that as losing the only chance he was ever going to get at love, because who else could ever love him, when he has the heart's invisible furies within him?

And THAT'S when Augustin enters. He meets Paddy at his absolute worst, he watches him try to prove to him how ~fucked up and terrible~ he is...  and he is immediately delighted. Like, yes, Paddy and Augustin drive each other up the wall IMMEDIATELY, but also Augustin likes him SO MUCH. My man watched Paddy try to shoot himself in front of him to prove a point, after manhandling him into the sand and holding a knife to his throat, and then was like omg girlllll are you single? Yes and that's why you are like this? Oh I am sorry but also good to know. AND THEN HE WATCHED HIM ATTACK HIS FRIENDS BECAUSE OF A FUCKING PIANO and was still just so happy and charmed when Paddy's way of apologising was cooking them a gazelle and suffering NO consequences. Like GOD he was down SO bad SO quickly, and that was after seeing the absolute WORST of Paddy, and sure, that's because Augustin is also insane, but so is Paddy, so they'd be great together. And I think that would have been so meaningful, for Augustin to grab Paddy's cheeks and squeeze them and go, "FUCK YOU, I AM GOING TO LOVE YOU, WITH ALL THE DEMONS". Can you imagine? What it would be like for Paddy, who thinks he's never going to be loved again, to have someone who doesn't just love him in spite of the warning signs, but because of them?

The way I see it, with Augustin out of the picture, there are two possible routes the show can take. The first is remaining closer to history, probably giving him some sort of healing process that involves his community but without a romance, accepting that Paddy's chances at romantic love really did die with Eoin. Which would be, like, fine, but I have already explained why I don't love it. Or, they give Paddy a different romance, but the thing is that I sincerely doubt they are gonna be able to manage something that's as interesting as whatever Paddy and Augustin have got going on - they've really captured such a unique, fascinating dynamic, and I don't think they could replicate it with a different character. Similarly, the new character would either not experience Paddy at his worst, which makes the romance less meaningful imo, or they would just have to make Paddy regress to episode 5 levels of insanity again, which would not be especially interesting to watch, since WE HAVE ALREADY SEEN IT.

so, yeah. tbh I am just going to put on my clown nose and large shoes and bright coloured wig and hope that we get Augustin back for s3, cause I do genuinely think he is the best character progression possible for Paddy. and also because I want my insane frenchman back goddamnit

[imabillyami]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. (If you feel like it, no pressure.) Spread the self-love ❤️

Hi love ❤️ Thanks so much for thinking of me & sending this 🥰

(This turned rather detailed and super rambly, but that's just what you always sign up for with me, so I'm not even sorry. I did make it smaller so it's easier to ignore though lol.)

1. The Taste of Freedom (Samijey) - I wrote this in a single night while down with a nasty flu & fever, but it still somehow turned into my personal favorite. It balances angst, fluff, smut and comedic relief elements quite well, if I do say so myself and that carries over into the sequel as well. I'm really proud of that one.

2. I've got you to lose (Samijey) - I'm a sucker for all things late 2022/ early 2023 Bloodline. And despite it being the most heartbreaking night for many fans, the Royal Rumble 2023 still remains my favorite. This series explores the canon-divergence of what could have happened, if Sami hadn't left the Bloodline back then. It's definitely more focused on the relationship dynamics of Sami and Jey for now, but also weaves in the family dynamics and booking aspects in the upcoming parts. So far only the first fic is up, but there's 20 more waiting (I'm dead serious) in my drafts. My ass just has to get a move on with the editing. It's a whole freaking universe and I can't wait to share more of it.

3. jealousy, jealousy (Samijey) - This is the new one I just posted. It was a request I filled for @who-do-you-want-to-be It was supposed to be this short sweet thing, but then I got the 5+1 idea in my head and from there on out I couldn't be stopped lol. If you dislike Damian Priest this is definitely NOT a fic for you, cause he is pretty much the unsung hero of this fic (if you end up giving it a read, you'll see why. No Damian Priest slander on my watch!).

4. Basking in your heat (JimmyKev) - My love for this ship pretty much began when I wrote "The Taste of Freedom". Their dynamic in that fic is... something else. And then @mahi-wayy texted me to ask "Am I the only one who thinks there's a spark between Jimmy and Kevin?" From there on out we were off to the races. I'm trying to keep their characters very close to canon, the constant bickering between them always an element that's included. This fic is no different. But for the most part it's pure filth. You've been warned.

5. Punch me in the mouth and set me free (or kiss me, either works for me, really) (Samijey) - My very first fic in the wrestling fandom. It’s also the one that signifies my comeback as a writer, after a 3-year publishing break, so it holds a very special place in my heart. The title was originally a dad joke on a song title, but it ended up holding so much more significance than that. Cause it finally made me feel free again as a writer. 

These are the current favs, but I have a couple of things in my drafts that I've been continuously working on for the last 1-2 years now, that will probably replace some of these eventually.

[galactic-pirates]

Hi! For the questions for fic writers: 1, 6 [Time Will Tell], and 18 [Life Without Purpose], please?

Yay, thank you!

1) What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Hmm. Given I have moved across fandoms it really depends on that. I mean it’s no use reccing a Librarians fic to a Sanctuary fan (even if I did cross them over and do think they work well together).

I have written one shots and I have written novel length fics. I feel like I mostly write plotty these days but I have a lot of fluff on my AO3 too. Especially back in the day I wrote a lot of prompts.

So yeah it’s like one fic doesn’t encapsulate all genre, fandom etc. Maybe I guess for a ‘taste’ a shorter fic as an intro so perhaps one of the Librarians fics? I did half a dozen for prompt month a couple of years ago.

6) What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

Time Will Tell 🤔

I find this question hard because did I put it in the fic? Have I just rambled about it? Have I not said it before? Can I remember the difference? No the answer is no haha. So yeeeeah erm… ok let me think.

The difficulty of this question is why the ask has been in my drafts for a couple of days. I have been struggling to think of a good answer. I mean with it being fanfic I was free to indulge myself and so I had that epilogue with all my headcanons about the intervening century.

I think what I might need to say is “do you have any questions?” I have really tried to think of a detail off the top of my head and failed but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something. It just means I am struggling. Sorry :/

18) If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

It’s kinda hard to write a sequel when all the characters are dead. Well I suppose Nikola is left but he’s alone, the world is apocalyptic. It’s all very bleak.

I think if I had to continue it somehow then a sequel would involve time travel, like Nikola going back in time to stop the outbreak from happening. I need to get a happy ending somehow.

[optiwashere]

I am still catching up on kinktober forgive me 😭

but i've been reading the shadowheart and asheera fanfictions first because I love how you write them and the breeding kink one was so good. it was hot but also you wrote that part about shadowheart having a fantasy and how it sometimes jumped around in her head to different characters she was enjoying the fantasy with but also asheera was always where she ended up with in the end and that asheera was into it and thought it was harmless fun. that is so REAL and its one of the ways you make their relationship feel so honest and idk... real? I don't have a better word lol. not that shadowheart's WIFEY has to"approve" of her fantasies, but when asheera says it i dieeeee

sorry for the ramble i just love d asheera saying that fantasies are just fantasies it's so real and if i talk to ppl about ships they're going to be so confused when i say shadowheart and asheera are my #1

Aww anon! Don't worry about "catching up" to Kinktober. Those are for whenever now, there's no need to rush. I'm just glad they're being enjoyed 💜

And I really appreciate you mentioning that detail. That's something that I think is incredibly important in real relationships, and yeah I'm writing a high intensity, fantastical type of relationship that's even further amped up for the sake of good fiction, but a dose of reality mixed in helps make everything better IMO.

All that said, thank you so much for the lovely words because they're all supremely flattering. That anyone would call my lil OC/Shadowheart ship their favorite in the fandom is just 💜