#wrote essays all day and fried my poor brain

[adrift-in-thyme]

Day 15: Self Sacrifice (Warriors & Mask)

Ao3 link

Cw for blood and injury

———————

It happens too fast for him to stop it.

Cia’s forces attacked at dawn and haven’t let up since. He’s exhausted beyond belief, every bone within him aching, eyes so dry they feel like sandpaper. There are blisters on his feet and hands in the small places where the skin is still soft enough to rub off, blood on his uniform from countless tiny mistakes. Link can’t remember a time when he felt so close to collapsing.

So, maybe that’s why he doesn’t see it when a bokoblin raises its sword. He’s too preoccupied with the monsters in front of him and on the sides, line upon line of screaming, squealing beasts. And when the bokoblin leaps forward, he doesn’t hear its feet leave the ground, doesn’t turn to see it heading straight for him.

Until another scream joins the rest. A terribly human one.

Link whirls around, terror spiking nauseatingly. He knows what he’s going to see, somewhere deep within he knows it. Still, when his eyes come to rest upon the sight, he doesn’t want to believe it's a reality.

A bokoblin lies dead a short way away and not far from it a familiar green-clad figure wavers, blanching as he stares down at the gash streaking across his middle. He collapses as Link reaches his side, arms already out to cushion his fall. His breath comes in short, little gasps and when he meets Link’s gaze, his eyes are abnormally bright with pain.

“C-captain,” he murmurs, blood dribbling down his mouth, and Link grasps his small hand, squeezing reassuringly.

“I’m here Sprite.” His voice cracks despite his best efforts and he swallows, trying to shove down the terrible whirlwind of emotion rising within him.

He glances around, taking in the sword and shield–always just a bit too big for him–fallen uselessly by the young hero’s side, the bunny hood that has slipped off his head. Link’s chest grows so tight he can’t breathe.

A child lies dying in his arms, a child. This should never have happened.

“Why?” He asks, though there are a million other things he should be doing, questions he should be asking, orders he should be giving. But it comes out because it needs to, because in this moment it feels like he can’t possibly live without knowing the answer.

Mask smiles, the tiniest lift of the lips, and it seems to make him look even younger.

Too young, much too young to be bleeding out on a battlefield.

“Cause I care about you, y-you idiot.”

A lump rises in Link’s throat, bringing tears with it.

“We’re gonna get you a fairy,” he forces himself to say, through the guilt and rage, through the sorrow and disbelief. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Mask blinks slowly, as though even that is a laborious task. He coughs into his hand, splattering blood upon pale skin.

“You can’t lie to me, Captain. I-I know you too well for that.”

But Link is already searching in his pouch, scrambling to find something, anything that can save him. Battle tools, weapons, maps, and compasses and—there! He drags it out, the last occupied bottle he has, still half full of deep, red potion.

He supports Mask’s head with one hand, presses the bottle to his lips with the other.

“Drink.”

Mask gives him a halfhearted glare, but he opens his mouth obediently and lets Link pour the liquid in. He slumps back when it's done, wincing as the movement jostles his wound.

“That’ll help the pain a little,” Link says. His mind is a swirling mess now, of thoughts rushing past too fast. And when he sets the bottle back in his pouch, he realizes his hands are shaking.

Usually, he’s quite good at operating under pressure. But usually, his little brother isn’t the one who’s injured. It’s easier when it’s a soldier whose name he doesn’t even know. It’s easier when it’s himself.

Why couldn’t it have been me?

He grits his teeth, closing his pouch with more force than is necessary. Mask watches him through half-lidded eyes. His breathing is slower, exhaustion dragging at his features. The ground is turning a dark reddish brown, tinged by his blood.

The potion has given them a bit of time, but that’s all.

Link tears off his scarf and wraps it around him. He’s followed this same action so many times in the dark of the night when ghosts of the past came to haunt, and the moon threatened to fall. Never, however, has he had to watch as the blue fabric turns navy with blood that is not his own.

Why couldn’t it have been me?

It’s running on a loop now, a desperate, angry, guilt-ridden chant that keeps his limbs moving, keeps his brain from clouding, keeps him from collapsing.

He can’t fall. He doesn’t deserve to. Not when Mask fell for him.

“You’re b-blaming yourself aren’t you,” Mask slurs, as Link tightens his makeshift bandage and scoops him into his arms.

He’s so light, so small, and when Link looks down at him, he looks back, his expression more open than he’s ever seen it in the light of day. Then, his eyebrows scrunch in a little frown.

“Don’t.”

Link chuckles, wetly. “I wish it were that easy, Sprite.”

And really, truly he does. Because even as he rushes through the battlefield, dodging arrows and bombs, leaping over fallen bodies of both friend and foe, heart pounding as Mask fades in his arms, it eats him alive. And when he reaches the healer’s tent and lays Mask in their care, watches over him as they stitch him back together, it consumes him.

He's too numb to cry, even in the night when the camp is dark and silent, the monsters fought back (for now at least), and Mask is curled up beside him, still too pale, a giant bandage wound around his abdomen. But he can’t help bringing the hero a little closer to him, tucking him in a little tighter, and whispering a promise he intends to keep.

This will never happen again. Next time he’ll be more alert, next time he’ll be prepared. He’ll protect his little brother, no matter the cost. Even if it’s him that bleeds out on the battlefield in the end.

[sgtcalhouns]

College AU, Ch. 18

i know i just posted the last chapter yesterday, but i couldn’t resist giving you guys the next update. things just can’t seem to run smoothly for poor old felix. maybe i’ll give him a break eventually, but today is not that day. enjoy!

It’s time for me to come clean about my feelings. I tried to deny it when I told you I love you because I was afraid. You’re the first person who’s ever made me feel this way, and I didn’t want to scare you away. But the truth is, I’m in love with you.

“What are you concentrating so hard on?” Tamora asked, coming up behind Felix.

“N-Nothing!” he blurted out, hurriedly closing his binder and resting his arm on top of it to prevent it being pulled open. “Just brainstorming for an essay I have to write tonight.”

“Is everything alright?” she asked, noting his somewhat panicked response to her presence.

“Yes, everything is fine,” he said, breathing deeply to calm himself down. “I just didn’t hear you come in is all.”

“I’ll try to make more noise next time,” she smirked, sitting in the chair next to his. 

They were seated at his kitchen table, where, up until moments ago, Felix had been attempting to write out his feelings in a letter to Tamora. He had tried a handful of times now to tell her how he felt, but each time, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Something about saying the words out loud made him feel tongue-tied and flustered, and he feared he would make a fool of himself trying to open up to her. He thought maybe a letter would be easier, because it would give him the time to choose his words more carefully before sharing them with her. However, the letter-writing was more difficult than he had envisioned; how could he possibly sum up his feelings for her in a few words?

“So how’d it go with Turner yesterday?” Tamora asked, rousing him from his thoughts. “What does he want?”

“He, um... He’s just upset over a disagreement we had back when we were still friends,” Felix said, scrambling for an explanation that wouldn’t reveal Turner’s true intentions. “I’m going to try and make it up to him this week and see if that helps things.”

“And how are you doing?” she asked, her tone soft. “I can tell this has been hard on you.”

“I’m alright, really,” he said with a sad smile as he reached for her hand. 

“Felix, you know you can talk to me about this,” she said. “I want to be there for you like you’ve been there for me.”

“Thank you, Tammy,” he said. “I’ll be okay. It’s just tough, losin’ a friend over a silly fight. We used to be really close, and now I hardly recognize him.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Is there any way I can help?”

“No, you already help more than you know,” he smiled softly. “Havin’ you in my life is more than enough to remind me that my friendship with Turner wasn’t nearly as perfect as I sometimes think it was. It’s easy to forget about the bad once you’ve distanced yourself from someone, but you and Ralph remind me what it’s supposed to feel like to be close to people.”

Tamora leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

“Even so, it still can’t be easy to have someone you used to consider a friend treat you like this,” she said. “I’ll always be here if you want to talk about it.”

“Thanks, that really means a lot,” he said, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “I’m one lucky fella.”

She kissed him again, and for a wonderful, brief moment she was all he could focus on, all thoughts of Turner and his current predicament far from his mind.

The following day, Felix sat across from Ralph in the dining hall, absently picking at the french fries on his plate.

“I just really think that going to Dr. Persi is my best option here,” he said.

“And I think that’s a sure-fire way to make sure that neither of you graduates on time,” Ralph replied. “There has to be another way.”

“Well, if you have any ideas, I’d be happy to hear them,” Felix snapped. His jaw dropped as he realized the tone he had just used, and he quickly stammered an apology. “I-I’m sorry, brother, I didn’t mean that.”

“Is everything okay?” Ralph asked. “I mean, besides the whole Turner thing. It seems like something else is bothering you.”

“I’m okay, I just... I still haven’t told her how I feel and it’s really starting to get to me,” Felix said, his forehead in his hands. “Every time she smiles at me, or holds my hand, or kisses me, there’s this voice in my head that won’t stop repeating it: ‘I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.’ Over and over again, Ralph. Anything I do to try and quiet it down only seems to make it louder.”

“I think it’s time you finally just came out and told her,” Ralph said sympathetically. “Clearly your brain is struggling to keep it in.”

“I wrote her a letter,” Felix said, pulling the note from his binder and placing it on the table. “But I can’t decide how or when to give it to her. Should I be there when she reads it? Should I leave it for her to read later? Is the note even a good idea, or should I just come right out and say it?”

“Felix, I think you’re putting a little too much thought into this,” Ralph said. “You’re not asking her to marry you, you’re just telling her how you feel. Three words, that’s it.”

“I know, but it is kind of a big deal. I mean, after what she’s been through, it’s going to be pretty meaningful for me to say that to her. And for me, too,” he said. “I’ve said it before, but I’ve never meant it. Not like this.”

“I know,” Ralph said. “But look, you guys obviously care a lot about each other, it’s not like she’s going to leave you if everything’s not perfect in the moment. Just give her the note, or tell her, but either way, do it soon. Don’t let it keep you up at night.”

“You’re right, brother,” Felix sighed. “I just get so into my head about these things sometimes. This all feels new to me since I’ve never really been in love like this before.”

“I’m sure everything is going to be fine,” Ralph replied. “Try not to think so much about it, just go with your gut.”

“I think I will,” Felix said with a smile. “Thanks, Ralph. Now, I’ve got to get to my office hours. And you need to go to class.”

“Oh, right. I almost forgot about that,” Ralph chuckled. 

The pair stood from the table, gathering their things. As Felix picked up their trash, he didn’t even notice his note to Tamora as it fluttered off the table and onto the ground, nor did he notice the pale hand that grabbed it off the floor as he headed for the trash can. As Felix left the dining hall, he didn’t see the pair of yellow eyes that lit up with devilish glee as they scanned the contents of the letter.

“How very interesting...”