#written by catherine

[notebook-entry]

some things can't escape us, we are a tied to them forever

[expelliarmus]

[x0blue]

Okay i was in my first Sculpture class for the year and my teacher says we're gonna watch a video on our theme for the year (surrealism) and she turns on the video. And you know who walks into frame?

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO WALKED INTO FRAME??? TALKING ABOUT SURREALISM??

PETER CAPALDI.

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE 12TH FUCKING DOCTOR????

IF THAT ISN'T SOME DOCTOR WHO SHIT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

link under cut

[sunshades]

btw hey happy almost halloween. anybody here to listen if i say this mirror world in canto 6 was them being jonathan and mina harker. the fascinator of mina's green dress is decorated to resemble a feather, too. as of wild hunt's acquisition scene, in this world catherine dies by being beheaded, as if befitting of a vampire, which mina nearly becomes in the course of the book.

[internetskiff]

hoo boy. SOMA. I definitely do not think of that game often ahaha that game certainly has not affected me in any way

Anyways!! Catherine Chun is honestly my favorite deuteragonist in gaming because of how well she's written (sorry Wheatley (he's a close second though)). On my first playthrough I (and I assume a lot of other people) just immediately decide "OK, she's the only other sane 'person' on this station, so she's automatically a friend", and hell, it seems that's how Simon himself views her from the moment they first speak at Upsilon's comms center. But reading into her dialogue, she really doesn't seem to view Simon as a buddy at all up until like.. Their heart-to-heart at the Climber methinks. Just look at how she speaks with him whenever he starts getting existential.

She speaks to him as more of an annoying coworker at times. Considering her attitude towards other sentient machines, I think it's extending even to Simon. She sees him as a means to an end, or at least tries to, up until she has to copy and paste his mind into a new diving suit. And then, when she fails to hide the original Simon from the newly created duplicate and he is rightfully distraught and furious - I think that's when the actual weight of it all hits her.

This interaction still fucks me up a little. The distress in that "Please, stop" as Simon (very righftully) lashes out at her. It's even worse when you consider this is how most of the people she scanned treated her. They're all desperate. They hope that when they sit down in that Pilot Seat and close their eyes, they'll open them in paradise. But when they end up exactly where they were. and realize a copy of them is going to be living it large on a spaceship while they continue rotting down at Pathos II, it's no wonder they'd suddenly view the whole thing as cruel and disgusting. It's still wrong and selfish, of course - especially directing that anger at the one person responsible for preserving humanity simply because you refuse to understand how brain scans work. It's worse when you realize she never got to defend herself from all of it, and in the end she was killed by her own desperate coworkers. And now she's experiencing it again. Unknowingly, Simon's putting her through the exact same thing her human template went through over and over and over again. She viewed him as a means to an end, but I think that stopped after she had to go through that. She shares her memories of home with Simon. I'd say they only REALLY start getting along at like, Phi, which makes the exchange immediately after the ARK is launched that much more gut wrenching. The thing is, while I think Catherine stopped viewing Simon as a means to an end, Simon didn't stop viewing her as one. From the moment she tells him about the ARK, he was probably itching to get on it. Sure, saving humanity is great, but you'd probably also want to be saved aswell, no?

The fact that this is her last exchange and these are the last words she manages to say is absolutely fucked up. You can just imagine what was going through Catherine's mind as she was saying this - Simon telling her she's "Fucking disgusting!", a sentiment echoed by people she considered acquaintances (people she was saving), seeing her own corpse with it's head bashed in by a wrench.. This wasn't just aimed at Simon, I think. This is basically her finally standing up for herself. Her standing up to everyone who despised her simply because THEY didn't understand how brain scans work. She did everything right, she saved humanity - and she was still treated like garbage in the end. And she doesn't even get to finish her sentence before her chip fries and she dies for the second and final time. And if Simon saw things from her perspective for once, he would have the time to pull her Omnitool out and save her from that.

[willowmosby]

I have over the last 5 months watched all 15 seasons and the immortality special of the original CSI. I have no plans to watch the reboot anytime soon so I thought I would info dump my thoughts, and if love to know how others feel. I will now present a very very long post with breakdown some quick thoughts on the seasons, more thoughts on most of the characters and a few ships.

Tldr: I really enjoyed CSI as a whole and I'm sad to say goodbye to a formula and some characters I've really grown attached to. ( And If there is a good Nick Stokes written into immortality fic please lmk)

Seasons:

I do think the early seasons the most fun/ light hearted, which feels weird to say when it literally opens with Sara investigating Warrick for negligence. I kinda wish I had blogged along or something so I could be more detailed in my response about them.

Like a lot of shows I think it really hit its stride in the middle seasons. If I had to pick a few seasons to watch it be 5-7. It also helps that I had finally gotten used to the lighting.

I think the 9- 11 stretch is too serious, don't get me wrong there were some bangers but overall not great

12-15 they were better and back to a little more fun, and I think the series kept its footing pretty well in its final innings. It was no golden era and I felt really bad that Catherine got demoted but I really enjoyed it. ( Well ok I really wasn' a gig harbor arc fan)

Immortality was a fine special, although I don't really feel like it stuck the landing. Part of that will probably become obvious when I talk about my character and ship takes but I also just felt the case could have been better. It's the freshest in mind, obviously, so I will say I really loved having Catherine and Grissom back and if anything I felt like it gave good closure for them and to a lesser extent Sara.

Characters( kinda in the order of their exit):

The lab rats: Bobby, Mandy, Archie icons every one of them. There is a world where Wendy, Hodges and Henry get their own sections but I feel like they would appreciate being in this group. Never pushed into too much melodrama their characterization, always great at their jobs. I would love to grab drinks with any of them

The cops: Brass will get his own sections but to summarize my feelings on all the others. They did their job and I love that for them. They almost never overstayed their welcome but they also aren't the reason I'm watching this show. The only two I would want to get drinks with are the should have been lesbian Sofia Curtis ( she almost got her own section but then i got lazy) and the best uniform in the business, the man, the myth, my man officer Mitchell.

Warrick Brown: My smooth talking gambling king. He was definitely missed after his death. While I didn't love his characterization in the greda Arc, I usually really enjoyed his dynamic with the team and his drive to the job. His death was the closest I came to stopping my watching. His skills with kids are underrated ( probably cause Nick and Catherine are so good) and I do have a say on top of all his intelligence and skills at the job he is so handsome. I think he might go a little too hard for me to enjoy getting drinks with him but I would still do it.

Gill Grissom: My second favorite Dr. Bug ( sorry no one can beat Jack Hodgins) he really is the smartest person on the show. You can always feel his passion for science which is lovely. While sometimes out of touch or oblivious he is usually incredibly kind. I liked his tie to the deaf community. You can pull the fact that he is Demi from my cold dead hands. In a lot of the ways he was the heart of the show and it definitely shows when he left. His relationships with Catherine, Warick, Nick and of course Sara were well developed. I would kill to get a drink with him just to listen to him talk science.

Riley Adams: she gets a section as it is rude for me to not mention a character who was in the credits but she's fucking white bread milk toast. Would not bother getting drinks.

Raymond Langston: I love his relationship with Robbins and I think he's incredibly smart. But I just think the show gave him way way too much too quickly. I mean just compare it to the fucking effort Greg put in to reach CSI or that as new CSI 3 there was a long stretch where Nick didn't get his own cases. I appreciated his complex background but he brought with him the Haskell arc which was just too fucking long and serious. I would get a singular glass of wine with him.

Catherine Willows: What a girl boss. And I mean that is all the best and worst ways. I really love her at her best but man some of her lows are just.. no fun. She is absolutely vital to the show's success and 9/10 times she is out there taking no prisoners and careing for her team. Just you know wish she hadn't shown her daughter a dead body or faked a crime scene with a new guy to name some examples. She could drink me under the table no doubt.

Jim Brass: While never my favorite character I always appreciate seeing him on my screen. Competent enough to hang with the scientist and still be a good cop. I appreciated how dedicated he was to his daughter but Just not personally my vibes. I would get a drink with him but uhh maybe make it non alcoholic cause it's unclear if he needs sobriety help.

Julie Finlay: She's sweet and very very good at her job. If she had come earlier on she might be one of my favorites just my top 3 was already filled. She brings a good balance back to the team, and she has a weird level of breaking and respecting the rules that I enjoyed. She very quickly had such a good dynamic with all the returning favs that there are moments I forgot she was so new. She's got big Bi & Poly energy. I know the actress wasn't coming back but I would've paid to see her interact with Grissom. Sad that she died off screen but also kinda glad they didn't end 15 with her completely dead. I would absolutely get drinks with her, probably mimosas despite my dislike for them.

Morgan Brody: eh shes fine. I feel like despite everything she still comes off as naive. I love her relationship with Eklie and Hodges but overall she left something to be desired. Nothing that I super disliked but I do kinda wish some of her screen time went to Sara or someone else.

D.B Russell: he was honestly a breath of fresh air, well until he wasn't. I think I just love Ted Dansion for one but also I felt like Russell was a beautiful balance between caring and professional. It was nice to have a supervisor who was actually kinda good at politics. I love that he actually cares for his kids and loves his wife ( although I was informed by my mother that he is divorced in Cyber). I do kinda wish the kept the bit where he laid on the ground as a body but mostly cause I found it way funnier than it is. I really hated the gig harbor killer arc and I felt like a large reason is it made him too serious. I would get a drink with him, but honestly I'd love to have a full meal with his family

Super Dave: what a lovable but weird dude. Genuinely a great example of how you can blend strange comments with kindness and consistency to create a great character. I would love to grab a drink with him.

Doc Robbins: What an honest man and in the running for the best M.E ( up there with Ducky and Cam). I'm glad he mostly stayed out of the drama and appreciated that he was always thorough, even when people were occasionally questioning his own work. Not kind to a fault but definitely empathetic. I would 100% grab a drink with him.

Now to the top 3, the best of the best, the ones who were in for the long haul.

Nick Stokes: Whether it's the sweet Texas accent and big bown eyes or the fact that he's the longest running main cast member I do think he is my favorite. Empathetic and kind, almost to a fault, he is also a man's man who can hold his own against the worst criminals. The show put him through the absolute fucking ringer but he still leaves with a smile on his face. Even when he clashes with other characters I feel like he resolves the problems better than other people. He definitely could have benefited from good therapy but I still love him anyway. His skills with kids are so nice and grounded in his backstory. Loved that he became the new big guy. Occasionally they try and paint him as a bit of a player but given he sleeps with like 2 women over 15 seasons it doesn't super add up. This is definitely the queer in me talking but he gives huge repressed Gay energy. Like a lot of his early arc is about graining confidence in himself. Not to mention,his relationship with Warrick and Greg are so filled with undertones and honestly let that man get fucked and some of his problems might go away. Anyway. So I guess more power to the actor for not coming back for even a cameo but I really really felt the lack of him in immortality. So If anyone knows a fanfic where he's there lmk I would read that shit in a heartbeat. Would get drinks with him, would die for him.

Greg Sanders: I love rave going lab rat Greg. I love the new CSI trying to prove himself to Greg. I love mob history author Greg. I mean he's got to be one of the most intelligent characters on the show- he's good at science and history- and it never makes him come off as rude or entitled. I think his shift from lab rat to CSI, whether intentional or accidental, is well built. He is criminally oh I mean so so so criminally underutilized in immortality. I dislike when he's angry and there are certainly episodes where he feels off but overall he's just so lovable. Disgusting hair choices but hey at least that was a consistent trait. His relationship with Nick and Sara throughout the whole show are really great and after 15 seasons they really do feel like they've been a team for 15 years. He gives Huge Bi energy so I would take him to a gay club for drinks and dancing.

Sara Sidle: You can call her a problematic fav all you want but she's a bad bitch and everyone should love her. She is so great at her job and she never lacks humanity. The show kinda lost track of her exact backstory at some point but I don't care too too much as she stays strong willed and passionate the whole show. Her will to never quit and iconic smirks will stay winning forever. I have thoughts on her relationship with Grissom but bottom line she knew what she wanted and got it. Her friendship with all the main cast, particularly Greg and Nick, is really lovely and shows how she has grown and changed over 15 seasons. Because I actually care about continuity I would not get an actual alcoholic drink with her but non alcoholic drinks aplenty would be had if I could meet her.

Ships:

Listen I don't have a real finger on the pulse of what ships are popular as this show finished airing 10 years ago and I was trying to not be super spoiled.

That being said

GSR: I'm not super into Grissom/ Sara ( side note I know the Internet was a different place 20 years ago but who picked GSR as their ship tag), but I'm also not against it. I think they have a big "match my freak" energy which is nice but. I don't know I just feel like by the end of it Sara could do better. Like she gave up the lab director for the guy who asked her for a divorce. I still think it's better than some other options just you know not like my otp. 8/10

Catherine/ Warrick: I think that the flirting was all fun and games and then if became too much. Let's be honest neither of them are built for committed relationships. Probably would have been better then whatever the fuck was happening with Warrick and Tina. 5/10

Catherine/ Vartann: its canonical and like they were fine I didn't hate it didn't love it. Probably better for Catherine in the long term than any other of her potential ships 6/10

Nick/ Greg: idk if this is super popular but it's my otp for the show. They seem like they bring out the best in each other. Nicks more clean cut natural could balance out the more chaotic ature of greg. Obviously with the era the show was made in I don't think that there tension was intentional but it's still there. From the name that chemical compound game to working together until the end of really think they would be great. 11/10

Nick/ Warrick: I had to mention for the just two dudes who have homoerotic tension energy but ehh Warrick dose really read straight to me in every other context. 3/10

Wendy/ Hodges: ehh they give straight white couple who should have just talked about their feelings. 4/10

Hodges/ Henry: is this a real ship? idk man, But it's an friends to enemies to lovers I would love to read. 6/10

Morgan/ Greg: ok part of this is the my ship bias( see above) but I did not like them together. Their flirting is not good, his anger at her kidnapping too extreme, idk I Just really feels like they operate in different levels. 0/10

Morgan/ Hodges: I actually thought this was really sweet and was super said they went with the parents dating thing. I think they understood each other on a really fun level and that they brought out the best in each other. I loved how supportive they were of each other even in seemingly poor decisions. 8/10

Finn/ D.B: I would assume that this is the popular het ship for the them but uhh D.B is so happily married and Finn ( much like Warrick and Catherine) doesn't really give monogamous relationship. 0/10

Finn/ Sara: 100% queer women projection but uhh just imagine post divorce Sara figuring out her identity with Finn and they try friends with benefits but then need more. 6/10

If you made it this far thanks so much for reading and id love to hear others thoughts as I do a deep dive into this show. I Will be reading plenty of fanfiction and may start CSI: NY to appease the new hole in my heart.

[that-birdy-chick]

I don't think I have ever in my life, felt the kind of shear and utter resentment towards a fictional character the way I do towards Doris mcgarrett.

That woman makes me so God damn angry every time she is on screen and every time she walks out on Steve and Mary yet again I want to shake them by the shoulders and tell them to let her be.

Like wdym Steve you're gonna go to Marokko to safe your fucking awful mom?!?! let her rot there! it's not like she cared when you were stuck in Afghanistan or Korea or when woe fat tried to kill you and she didn't even think you deserved to know why?! Don't even get me started on Catherine showing up out of bum fuck nowhere again and dropping all this on him! AND telling him he should go safe her-

I mean, Chathrine, my girl, I know you probably mean well and I'll give you that you probably do have a point here about Steve feeling guilty about it forever if he didn't go-

I really don't think it was in any way her place to try and convince him to go for it tho, not after everything that happened between them and all the lies she told him

It is nice that she came to tell him in person and that she came along to marokko , but their realationship is still way to messed up for me to see any of it as a good thing

[friendlyfatbee]

WOMAN ALERT WOMAN ALERT

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

Poem for Right Now

In protest I say the word iridescent. In protest I say the word vesper. In protest I say that I am in love with this day, this exact day, this rain on the thousands of dead leaves in my backyard and the mourning dove and the faint growl of the garbage truck a few blocks over. I am in love with it. In fucking love. It’s true that now a mushroom cloud billows behind my eyes all day. It’s true I fall asleep drafting letters in my new language of pitchforks. I know the chopping block is vast. I know it has room and stomach for everything. But my tongue and my head are mine. So in protest I say the word liquefy. In protest I say the word gloaming. In protest I will remember how once my friend and I walked through an alley in a strange city, and my friend wore a paper dragon in her hair, and the city was five o’clock gold all around us. In protest I say the word dragon. There are days I’ve carried like candles to light the rest of my life, and I will not let the new days snuff them out, though the new days are trying. Watch me hold a decade-ago snow night, moon-bright and silent, right next to my hammering rage. Watch me house halcyon next to protocol, lagoon next to constituent. I am trying to become a contradiction machine. I am poorly oiled, but every day I creak awake again. The rain is heavy now against my screened-in porch, and the gutter that years ago my husband patched with duct tape is still holding. At this point, repaired is more accurate than patched. It’s still holding, and in protest I marvel over that. In protest I marvel. In protest I say incandescent, liminal, charcuterie, embrace. I think acquiescence is a beautiful word, too, but in protest I put it away. There are other beautiful words. Like lunar. Like resistance. Like love, like fucking love.

—Catherine Pierce (x)

[ribb0ngirl]

She's my roman empire

[doverstar]

hey. hey Wuthering Heights is not a romance. it is not romantic. it is tragic. please don't aspire to finding a man like Heathcliff. either try emulating a person like Nelly or Cathy or else put the book down and go outside, thank you

[spookstreet]

WIP Wednesday

Been thinking about S3 and the aftermath. Not sure what to call this but inspired by everyone in the tag to share a little snippet.

He gave himself one night. It was, River thought, the very least he deserved. One night to lick his wounds, and it fit in with the O.B's creed. I will permit one evening of indulgent self-recrimination. In that case, River had bid his Grandfather goodnight and resigned himself to seeing his desk at Slough House in the morning. Self-recrimination over this particular fiasco, however, took the form of a sleepless night and the frustration that, no matter which way he turned, there was a bruise to protest. And then, whenever the edge of that pain dulled for a moment, his thoughts traced the day back and inevitably landed in one place. The Barbican Highwalk, and Spider. Christ, Spider.

[lannistertwinz]

"You loved me then what right had you to leave me?" - the parallels between Jaime/Cersei and Wuthering Heights

In honour of my meta on the parallels between Jaime/Cersei and Heathcliff/Cathy (Wuthering Heights), I'm bringing back this edit I made back in S8 days.

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

My Wuthering Heights

[redpasserines]

what killed Jason was the smoke. Catherine Todd smoked -> what killed her was the smoke too.

Sheila Haywood justified giving Jason up because she saw him closer to a soldier than a child, him being Robin. Bruce put up a memorial to Jason as a good soldier.

The only person that had ‘changed sides’ for Bruce before Jason was Two Face. Two Face killed Willis Todd.

brought to you by beautiful piece of art you should read

[teamzacian]

Immortal Smoke Heathcliff Teaser

Mirror of a Forgotten Paradise

A child stands alone on the edge of a graveyard, a scarf tinged with flame softly flapping in the harsh winter wind.

“Who…”

He stands in front of an unmarked grave.

“Who are you. Why can’t anyone seem to remember your face… your name?”

The faint traces of a memory long gone flicker at the edge of his mind. This scarf… it was a gift, but from who? They must of been-

The child realizes he is not alone.

“Yukari.” He rasps “Tell me, whose grave is this? And why does my heart burn and ache at the sight of it?”

The Yokai does not answer

“Please, I have to know-”

“I fail to see how that information would benefit you. She is already deep in the ground.”

“Because…” Because why? What exactly did she mean to him? “I don’t know.” He turned his attention back to the unmarked gravestone, seemingly belonging to no one even with those violet flowers, flowers… Flowers that continued to grow even during the lands harshest winters… “I thought I’d ask, that school teacher and I were comin' up with nothin'.” Keine, who remembered every single human who remained in the Village, Keine who’s very being relied on the history of mankind, and she couldn’t recall one measly- "I was curious."

The Yokai doesn’t point out the obvious lie.

"Why don't you come to Hong Lu's party back at the Shrine? There's nothing to be gained from spending the night in the cold."

Neither of them mention how easy it would be for the child to set this entire graveyard ablaze, to remove any trace Letty's touch from their final reprieve.

"Yukari. You know something don't you? You're the one who referred to her-"

"Even if I did know something about the corpse lying in that grave, it wouldn't mean anything to you now."

"Just tell me her name!" The child pleads, "Please, just who was she? And does my memory refuse her very existence?!" Why did she follow me here? Why did she stay after I burned her home to the ground? Why-

"Catherine." The Yokai startles him from his thoughts, "Her name was Catherine."

Catherine. The name seems to ring hollow in his chest. Catherine He knows... he knows who this is... does he? Catherine. She- She made him this scarf, that must be it but... Catherine. But why is his heart still burning? Why does it feel like his heart's been torn from his chest? Cath-

"Some things are best left forgotten." The Yokai turns back toward the rift from which she came, "I should be the only one left in this world that remembers. Remembers when that name meant the world to you."

The child does not move an inch.

"When I gazed into the Mirror, that thin boundary between realties... I saw that there was another burdened with the sorrow of one long forgotten... It seems it is within our nature to remember." The Yokai looks up at the sky, "It's as though Gensokyo itself... weeps for the forgotten."