#writings that make me feel a certain way
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ahamasmiyodhah · 2 years ago
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Me watched Rudramadevi and I am getting a heavy urge to write a Female Princess dressing up as a Male Warrior and the Male Lead just falls for her—
*furiously writing ChitraArjuna first meet—*
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mythalism · 5 months ago
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genuinely curious how the writers and larger dragon age audience would treat thom rainier if instead of being appropriately* repentant and putting himself in prison he blew up a major orlesian government building to instigate a chevalier rebellion or tried to have someone do some necromantic blood magic ritual involving uncertain danger and possible sacrifices to bring the innocent children he ordered killed back to life
#*appropriately as in showing the expected amount of remorse in the appropriate way in a society founded on guilt and shame#i think blackwall actually tells us a lot about how dragon age's writers conceptualize justice and deservedness of punishment#im glad we get the option to forgive him but why do we get the option when anders is exiled at best?#and later characterized as a villain by dai#when solas is willfully imprisoned at best and trapped in a horrifying psychological torture chamber at worst?#blackwall gets a full redemption happy ending if inky so chooses#and im not saying he shouldnt#i forgive him every time#but its so interesting to me that narratively speaking#he seems to earn his happy ending through submission to punishment via imprisonment#as does solas but blackwall is portrayed far more sympathetically overall#there isnt the same meta-level narrative slander and clear agenda on behalf of the writing to make you feel a certain way about his crimes#as there is with anders and solas#why? whats the difference? what did he do to buy himself that narrative goodwill?#put himself in prison? why do the writers love carceral punishment so much lmfaooo#mine#if you wanna screenshot these tags and add them to the reblog feel free#im realizing i prob just shouldve put all of this in the post but its too late now#i think theres actually a strong argument that thom does not do nearly ENOUGH to right his wrongs#where is his effort to reform the orlesian military? where is his criticism of orlesian imperialism?#how does serving in the inquisition have a direct impact on the people he harmed? it doesnt#when you compare him to someone like roy mustang#yes im comparing him to roy mustang this is my blog and you are never going to escape roy mustang comparisons here#roy's political ambitions following his war crimes are directly related to those war crimes#and his goals directly benefit the same group of people he harmed#their ancestors and family members literally#meanwhile blackwall just kind of does vague “good” deeds and gets a full redemption#he really does not make much effort to repatriate the harm he did as a soldier#he just moves on#which again.... no shade to blackwall. my inky forgives him
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sergle · 1 year ago
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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skunkes · 8 months ago
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blueskittlesart · 10 months ago
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*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?
tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.
#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline#because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well#but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time#which is this intense need to cling to oot#and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r#not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever#and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with#oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there#these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way#whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there#and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete#and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen#standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now#in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life#but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop#and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad#asks#zelda analysis
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lemonadehtwooh · 7 months ago
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If I have to see One More fucking post that makes Alhaitham a "daddy dom" and Kaveh into a "soft uwu sub" I'm going to fucking kill someone
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psychomusic · 10 months ago
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oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)
she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.
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despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.
note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]
originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.
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this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.
BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).
later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.
years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)
#i overdeveloped this part of the background. IT'S QUITE LITERALLY USELESS. like. Vegoia will have so few memories of it (she'll become jedi)#i will make a post about her too when I'll finish designing her and outlining her story BUT that may be difficult cuz the frame for the mai#story is quite difficult to match with how developed the other stories are getting and i have to figure it Much Stuff yet#so I'm using these post to like. fix a certain part lf the lore because even my own notes are getting older and messy. better to start over#ANYWAY for those curious & who are still reading (if u exist. WTF THANK U!!); my main story is actually a research file in the jedi archive#BASICALLY i was trying to write my own story for years but then i watched a video (tcw doesn't hold up by sheev talks i think) and i finall#understood how to frame all of these stories together in a way that i feel can add to the star wars lore (because. the others were just#like. okay but who cares unless me? and i did want to have a cool frame that maybe some nerd would be interested in looking into)#so: when ahsoka anakin and obi return from mortis; they tell the council about it (yoda knows about it in s6). sheev talks complained that#it was incredibly full of stuff that was done so poorly it could ruin a big part of the original sw story itself and it was never brought u#again. and honestly i agree. SO my story is about a jedi that is tasked with research on the celestials & by having him figure out stuff i#can minimize/limit/reframe some of the controversial things in there (i love mortis arc so bad but i also agree with his critic. I'll Fix™)#so. many stories will be about people who have previously seen the celestials or have been to mortis one way or another (pre-tcw obv) & hav#had experience & knowledge that the researcher is looking for. so i get to have an anthology with many stories#and have a cool frame I'm intrested in developing + i can experiment with different storytelling styles depending on how he finds out stuff#+ there was another sw story with a similar frame i think? so if i decide to write the story as if it was the file itself and not the searc#i can have even a REFERENCE of what a file like that is supposed to be. LIKE. IT ALL FITS!!!#sw#star wars#swtor#the old republic#star wars oc#imperial agent#star wars fanart#mirialan oc#mirialan#star wars story#star wars the old republic#oc: suri sauthon
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johnslittlespoon · 1 year ago
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plsssss can we talk about bucky getting his revenge and edging gale
gale edging john post | yes we cannnnn !! eta: ykw. i need to just turn this into a proper oneshot since this ended up being over 1k words. new wip created </3
john may be a man of little self control, but after that incident, he decides he can be at least a tiny bit patient so he can catch gale off guard with it when he gets his revenge. because the next few times they're fooling around, gale's expecting a retaliation, john can see it in the way he tenses up and glances at his face before he comes like he's waiting for it, but john never follows through with it. he wants gale to let his guard down, and that he does.
so a week or so later when john's kissing him and feeling him up and asks ever so sweetly if he can tie gale's wrists behind his back, gale doesn't think anything of it. john likes to take control occasionally and gale sometimes likes the feeling of not having to worry about making decisions, getting to let john call the shots, and john always puts extra time and effort into the way he touches gale when he's restrained because he likes to watch his darling blondie squirm.
john has him sit in his lap facing him, letting gale lean against his shoulder to take the pressure off his legs while john works him open on his fingers, already riled up from the pretty gasps gale's making against his neck but reigning himself in because he's gonna need to have some self control for once.
he sweet–talks gale through it, telling him how good he sounds, how well he's doing as he sinks down on his cock, guiding him with hands on his hips so he doesn't unbalance himself without the use of his own hands where they're tied behind his back with a belt. he stays still at first, letting gale ride him slowly, keeping his hands loosely on his waist while praising him and talking him into that foggy needy headspace until gale's thighs are trembling and john takes pity on him (and frankly is so hard he doesn't have the patience to keep his own hips still anymore).
so he runs his hands down from gale's waist to his ass to hold him in place while he rolls his hips up into him, watching the way gale's eyebrows pinch and his pretty lips fall open in a silent oh as john angles himself in a way gale couldn't with his own movements. lets his mouth run as he slowly picks up his pace, all the coos of "so pretty", "you're taking me so well", "you feel so fucking good", loving how reactive gale is to every word and every thrust.
he moves his hands to gale's hips to get a better grip, can tell gale's getting close because he gets noisier, losing his filter and letting out breathy little "fuck"s and "john"s, head rolling back on his shoulders to bare his neck, rocking his hips down to meet john every time he fucks up into him. and then just as he gets the warning of "close", he pulls gale down by his hips to bury himself deep in him and stops moving completely.
the whine of desperation that tears out of gale's throat when he lifts his head has john knocking his skull back against the wall, cock twitching hard enough inside gale that he's sure the blond can feel it. he watches gale's biceps flex when he instinctively tries to get his hands free, feels his hips try to squirm out of his hands to keep moving, but he keeps him pinned firmly down, dizzy at the way he clenches down around him.
a plaintive "john" pulls a groan from him, but he composes himself, lifts his gaze back up to gale's face and lets the corners of his lips quirk up, purrs out a "yeah, sweetheart? something wrong?"
laughs at the way gale cusses him out, a rare sight of his little spitfire with a mouth on him, though the effect is a lot closer to being hissed at by a kitty than actually being convinced to move. john lets him run his mouth, murmurs a "cute" once gale's done, and then promptly hammers his hips up into him just once, swearing under his breath at the way it punches an open–mouthed moan from gale. rocks his hips up into him a few times before going back to a quick and rough pace, the sound of skin on skin getting both of them flushed.
it only takes a minute before gale's hips are twitching into his hands and whispered pleas are falling from his mouth and john thinks he's never had to use as much self restraint in his life as he does when he forces himself to stop moving again, once again yanking gale down against him, holding him still in his lap.
gale really fights it this time, enough so that it's a merciful distraction for john from how close he himself is (trust his idea to backfire as he ends up edging himself along with gale, he thinks) when he has to use proper strength to keep him in place. any blood that might've still been lurking around his brain rushes south the moment he sees gale's eyes getting shiny with frustration, cheeks all pink and lips red and flushed from biting down on them.
"not so fun, is it?" john taunts, but his voice comes out a bit more raspy than he would've liked, evident how much the stop and start is getting to him too. it's probably karma, because he knows he's being more mean than gale was to him, but he can't help it; those blue eyes look so pretty when tears are threatening to spill over when he's desperate and needy like this.
gale wriggles in his lap the best he can, still furiously chasing his orgasm, head finally falling back in frustration before he lifts it again, looking john in the eyes, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and letting it go. he whines quietly and whimpers out the sweetest "please, johnny," almost crying in his impatience, and fuck.
john doesn't mean for his hips to twitch up at that, but they do, hard. gale sobs out a broken sound at the way john's cock hits just where he needs it to in his accidental movement, and gale spills over his stomach completely untouched, just like that. john swears and drives his hips up into him in an attempt to quickly amend his slip up, moaning loud at the wrecked noises that immediately start bubbling up out of gale as he fucks him through his orgasm.
he tips over the edge himself from the desperate sounds the blond starts to make as he crosses the line into overstimulation, feeling gale's hips jerk frantically in his hands, fighting to get away from the incessant rhythm of his cock inside him as john shudders through his own orgasm, fingers digging into gale's sides.
he slows down to a gentle grind of his hips when gale collapses against his chest, face pressed to his neck, shivering at the slow drag inside him and whining pitifully when john eventually pulls out, settling him down on his thighs while he reaches around to undo the belt and free his hands. his heart bursts at the way gale instantly wraps his arms around him, clinging to him as they both catch their breath, john petting his hair and showering him with praise.
he eventually huffs out a laugh, murmuring a "sorry buck. payback's a bitch, but that was an accident, i swear." gale groans against him in complaint, lightly nipping at his shoulder in retaliation, too tired to fight back, but john's sure he'll pay for it eventually.
it's confirmed with the "better watch your back, darling" that he gets when they're both pulling their clothes back on, but to john, that sounds less like a threat and more like a good time, and he shoots gale a crooked grin to let him know as much.
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pinkfey · 8 months ago
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finding out harding comments on the age gap between you and emmrich when they write her to get with taash of all ppl is crazy
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dittolicous · 7 months ago
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been thinking about voltron legendary defender a lot and how sad slash mad it makes me when people just blindly shit on it when like. the singular defining issue, imho, wasn't even a crappy fanbase, but in reality crappy running on the shows part, with constant out right and blatant lies and pandering from the show runners, speedrunning the series to maximize binge views and word of mouth, while butchering characters and plot-lines, and making both passive and active racist choices.
voltron could have been great, all the ingredients were there to be a good series like she-ra, but the show runners were trash and took vld down with them. they didnt just embrace the drama within the vld fanbase, they fucking emcouraged it with every choice and action they did. if any series desevers another shot, I'd say voltron is up at the top. it really did have potential, were it not for the runners. and to be all 'hoohoo haha votron fandom so stoopid' without acknowledging how the showrunners played on the drama makes me so fucking mad.
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maagisterpavus · 19 days ago
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just thinking about how I love main characters who aren't the Best at everything. they're not a prodigy in their chosen field. they're not the smartest person in the room. they're not the greatest fighter, perhaps not even a skilled fighter. maybe they even suck at all of it. but there's still something about them that makes them the hero. they had greatness thrust upon them against their will and they never thought they'd be the one to actually be able to do something with it, until they do. because you don't always need someone who's Good at everything. you just need someone who doesn't give up, and maybe that's what they're good at after all.
#dumb post about dumb thoughts#not very well articulated but my brain is mush this week lol#anyway this is about rowan cause what isn't these days#i knew something never felt right about him being First to the Keeper#i created that boy and made him a mage and just felt it. “yeah. he's not good at magic. no way he'd end up as First”#unless he was the only option cause no one else turned out a mage (which was his lore for a while)#(and I never liked the “uwu he's so special he's the only mage” thing regardless)#so anyway rogue!rowan is the loml now cause i love him just being Ordinary#he's a good hunter but not the greatest. they sent him to the conclave cause he's good at sneaking around#then he ends up Inquisitor and is like ??? ME?#and he fucks up all the time. makes a lot of grave mistakes. has a lot of regrets. but damn he grows into it too#and maybe by the end of it all he finally feels like someone people can look up to#love this for Arden too actually#just going thru life swinging blind and then the Wardens put a sword in their hands#and the way they fight is messy and imperfect but so are they#they don't get why Varric chose them for the longest time. but he saw something in them that they didn't#fuuuuck I wanna write Ro & Arden bonding so bad#if only i could. you know. write.#and i mean yes of course they develop a certain skill level cause otherwise they'd get killed#but i just love the ones who aren't Number One at everything. y'know.#“oh look at him he's soooo smart” actually he's a dumbass(affectionate) but he saved the world anyway#something something ordinary people who do extraordinary things#my favorite flavor#brooke.txt#sorry for the rambles will probs delete later lol
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itspileofgoodthings · 24 days ago
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thinking about how sometimes I cannot extroverted-bear to Not Be Noticed immediately and positively in a group setting and other times I love to blend into the furniture like you’ve never seen before.
#in grad school I simply did not care what anyone there thought of me#I had 0 interest in making any friends#not out of coldness I just had a lot on my mind!!#(the vampire diaries. writing tumblr meta. my previously established friendships)#I made friends in the sense that I found the group of people who were going to help me through it)#(I say group it was 2 other girls)#but then it was fun because towards the end of the program people would notice me#in the way that in a certain mood I couldn’t/can’t bear to be without#they were like ‘hello??!!!??!!?’ about my personality#and it was both funny and sweet and also so impersonal because I had no expectation of it#I felt detached#my nonchalance towards the whole thing made me feel extremely cool#I have kind of never felt that cool again#I was also running on empty so I just had no energy to care#Which is the secret sauce to being cool apparently! I don’t think it would have happened without my non-caring#though now that I think about it it might have been a slightly more conscious choice than i am making it sound#because flying extremely under the radar was the way to go#it was a fraught time there was a lot of drama and being this way meant no drama ever stuck to me#something one of my teachers noticed and wrote in my letter of rec#which was (again) so moving to me#because I was (once again) so shocked anyone could see me#because I was for once in my life not insistent that they see me!!!!#I say all of this because generally I am a walking wound of dying to be noticed and seen and appreciated#I crave it. pine for it etc.#I’ve grown out of it somewhat but NEVER AS MUCH AS I WISH I DID#so sometimes I reflect on this time of apathy with great satisfaction. Bc my Maria charm offensive was at an all time low#but somehow a few people saw me without me trying (most did not)#But anyway yeah. it is literally that post I keep seeing that’s like ‘oh man this hard time is so hard’#‘wait the bad time had a certain je ne sais quoi’ SENDS ME every time!!! anyway. enough nauseating self-reflecting from me
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your--isgayrights · 11 months ago
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hm have i ever considered that people thinking my fic is abandoned is actually part of the metanarrative about the theme of the fic that includes "not forgetting about or valuing less something that is unpolished or 'half-finished' because it still can communicate full moments of genuine human existence and understanding between reader and writer" so actually I should stop being irked by 'is it unfinished' comments and just appreciate the way they nicely add onto this fully constructed and definitely deliberate quality of of metanarrative? no i have not but i am thinking that now and it is funny.
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bizlybebo · 3 months ago
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theres something in me that wants to write the exact same au shifted slightly to the left 48269484 billion times
#i don’t post much abt how much i love tIou cause i don’t like a lot of the fandom (lots of x readers… which is 100% fine and tbh i highly-#encourage it if it makes those people happy it’s just not my style… also a lot of ppl are Weird abt certain things… and also it just has -#the curse of Any popular media having a specific kind of fandom WHICH IS FINE!! but not my style….)#and i also have a really weird fear that i will be lambasted for liking it? but#GOD I RLLY LIKE IT UNFORCH… yes i think some things could’ve been handled better yes i have gripes about both the game and the show adapta-#tion…. BUT I RLLY LIKE IT A LOT I FEAR…. it’s just pandered 2 me in a really evil way (some1 born in the south who grew up near-#wyoming + jackson hole alllll the time because the guy who raised me always brought me 2 yellowstone….. road trips r my one true love in-#this life… also i am unforch. the easiest person to Get with the dadification trope 4 obvious reasons…)#and handled some very specific topics esp in the first game/season that hit really close 2 home 4 me.#AND SO i keep thinking abt making another pd tlou au that follows the first game/season almost exactly with maybe a few tiny changes#ie only the ones i’d make to the og story itself… bizly announcing the upcoming tIou video really did a number on me#i really wanna write that too even if i never post it because i could literally Hear mark and dakota thru out some parts of the game when i#rewatched a play through and also as dear as hamartia is 2 me it has the curse of any project i work on long term which is i have Improved-#and also was struggling a lot w quality vs on-time posts and so i’m wildly insecure abt it…#so i think it’d be cool to re explore the au with what ive learned from the last year of working on hamartia…#but. i also feel weirdly evil bc someone else has already posted 2-3 oneshots of a tIou au with rlly similar character placements…#and while i havent read them + didn’t get the idea from them i still feel super paranoid that ppl would think im copying … idk#something something Holy Shit ! Two Cakes
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sol1t41r3 · 1 year ago
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i have an au in the back of my mind…. Little clothing practice for that..
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itsmistyeyedbi · 3 months ago
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So, these last few days have been...interesting. And are currently a little unpleasant, to say the least🧍🏾‍♀️
My marks for my English assignment were disappointing and my throat is sore and dry rn. And that of course started after I've been to the store💀
(Some personal stuff in the tags that might be/probably is tmi so you can just skip em if you'd prefer to)
#all the socialising happened in my home town#which means instead of being in my uni's residency I was at home#and boy oh boy have my parents been triggering me#it seems like small stuff but it reminds me of the building resentment I have because of how much it feels like they've...#stunted my growth#and yes everyone's on their own journey and does things at their own time#but the problem is it doesn't feel like I'm doing things on MY time#it's on theirs#and that + the variety of issues I have with them and that I feel they've given me is an ugly combination#I feel like I revert back to who I was when I was staying there#and considering the dangerous state my mental health was that is very not good#fortunately I got to see a psychologist but WHEW that is a whole different issue with them#god forbid I have feelings or thoughts that can't be resolved by surface level praise#if that's the case they must not be MY feelings or thoughts at all - no it's my psychologist planting things in my head#or my friends making me think a certain way#I am suddenly incapable of thinking for myself if said thinking makes them the slightest bit uncomfortable#so even though I was out most of the time with friends they still managed to make all those feelings flare up again💀#so while I recover from that + my disappointment + my sore throat#I probably won't be as active for a litte bit (a little bit because I can't stay away for long lol)#and I don't wanna get on here and not be able to fully enjoy and appreciate everyone's amazing writing and art#fingers crossed I get over it all quickly because I have another assignment coming up🫠#chichi.txt
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