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Nggak Ngaruh
Bisa nggak, kita nggak perlu tahu hidup satu sama lain aja?
Bukan, bukan karena belum move on. Tapi kayaknya buat apa sih aku perlu tahu hidup kamu dan sebaliknya? Padahal kita kan bukan teman juga.
Setelah malam itu, harusnya aku segera unfollow akun sosial mediamu ya. Harusnya aku nggak perlu besarin egoku dengan cara mau lihatin ke kamu kalau hidup aku baik-baik aja.
Harusnya aku nunjukin ke diriku sendiri aja dan itu cukup.
Dalih nggak dewasa saat saling unfollow sosial media ketika sudah putus itu celetukan siapa sih?
Apa sih parameter dewasa? Siapa sih yang bilang dengan masih saling follow tandanya kita udah dewasa?
Nggak lantas jadi pecundang kok orang-orang yang milih unfollow atau blokir. Karena kita kan mau mengamankan hidup sendiri aja. Memangnya apa manfaatnya juga kamu tahu hidup aku baik-baik aja? Nggak akan merubah ceritanya juga kan? Nggak lantas kita bisa memperbaiki sesuatu yang harusnya memang diakhiri kan?
Liatin hidup kamu, nanti menikah, punya pasangan baru, punya keluarga sendiri nggak akan bikin perubahan apa-apa juga di hidup aku.
Kita nggak saling kenal sebelumnya. Kita juga nggak memutuskan untuk jadi teman setelahnya. Jadi buat apa sih ini semua?
Kayaknya sih aku memang harus ambil langkah sih. Nge-cut orang-orang yang aku nggak seneng aja, aku bisa, apalagi kamu yang kasih luka.
Jadi kayaknya udah ya, nggak perlu tahu lagi aja. Kalaupun suatu saat kita ketemu, ya benar-benar karena nggak sengaja. Itupun kalau cuma mau lewat tanpa menyapa ya nggak apa-apa juga.
Yang semula asing biar kembali ke asal muasalnya.
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Satu sisi, sebagaimana manusia biasa, rasanya ingin sekali diberi keberlimpahan harta yang dengannya bisa membahagiakan orang tua, menolong sesama dan berbuat banyak untuk umat.
Sayang, di sisi satunya, sebagaimana manusia yang diujiankan nafsu mencintai dunia sedemekiaan rupa, rasanya enggan memiliki harta yang diperebutkan oleh ahli waris, diributkan sanak keluarga. Bahkan, ketika sadar itu tak lagi menjadi hak, masih saja getol mendapatkannya. Dan tak jarang menyebabkan pecah perang saudara.
Ternyata benar, mabuk dunia semenyeramkan itu.
Maka, Ya Allah, biarkan aku mabuk akhirat melalui harta duniaMu.
Batusangkar, 11122023
#selfreminder#coretansebelumtidur#desembernulis#writers on tumblr#30 day writing challenge#writingproject
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Langit tak selalu biru. Tapi apapun warnanya langit tetap mempesona. Seperti kamu, meski tidak selalu tertawa, untukku kamu istimewa. Bahkan ketika kamu mendung pun aku tetap suka. Gemuruh mu pun aku bisa terima. Tapi kamu pasti tidak percaya.
Kamu memang serupa langit. Bukan karena tinggi, tapi karena kamu adalah manifestasi kebaikan yang diciptakan Tuhan bukan (hanya) untuk aku. Kamu indah dikagumi, tapi tidak bisa dimiliki. Jangan terlalu keras sama diri sendiri ya. Kamu itu memang layak dikagumi. Tetap jadi baik ya, kamu itu menginspirasi.
Suar(a)ksara, 7 Des 2023
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Weekly journal 1: memories with my pets
When I was 16 years old, I had two cats named panda and oyen. My life became perfect because they had completed my life. I was very happy to have them in my life. They were siblings and they were so cute. There were so many memories that we created together when they were still alive. They became my friends when I was alone at home. Every time I came back from school, they would wait for me in front of the door. They always made me happy and were by my side all the time. To make it simple, Allah lent them to me for just one year. They both died at the same time because of fever. The date of their death is really close to the date of their birthday. Since that day, my life became dark and i feel so lonely. I always cry after coming back from school because I no longer have friends at home. I never thought that they would leave so soon. Also, I was traumatized to adopt a cat so I decided to not adopt a cat anymore because I am afraid the incident will happen again.
I love them so much. I always pray that Allah will replace me with something more beautiful in the future. I can't tell you one by one our memories together because I'm still sad about losing them both. Although they are both gone, their names and memories are still in my heart forever. I miss you so much, oyen and panda.
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If you don't know which writing project to work on yet this season, here's part 2!
I hope these strategies (or the ones I shared earlier this week) help you figure out your next writing project!
Image reads: "Strategies To Figure Out Your Next Writing Project" 3. Pick a project based on which ones you already started and want to finish first. 4. Pick a project based on what type of mood you want to write (lighthearted, angst, hurt/comfort, etc.) Sheets of paper and emojis of various expressions can be seen beside the two points.
Looking for Part 1? Check out this post!
Want to learn more about me and my work?
Check out my Carrd for links to my books, website, and more: https://clarislam.carrd.co
#writeblr#author#writingcommunity#writingproject#wip#workinprogress#writing#writinglife#writerproblems#writer#writerssupportingwriters#writerscommunity#claris speaks#writing life#writing advice#writing help
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“𝓐𝓵𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽”
' Fingers outstretched in the fading light, Close, but not quite, Between us, a silence, soft and warm, A language only touch can form.
In the space where shadows blend, I feel your presence without end, Almost touching, almost whole, Two hearts tethered, one shared soul. '
The image and poem together capture a moment of profound connection—where two souls reach for each other but stop just short of physical touch, communicating in the space between. This resonates deeply with my interpersonal intelligence, the way I intuitively understand others’ emotions and connect with them without needing words. The image reflects how I build relationships: by tuning into the unspoken, finding harmony in the quiet moments, and bringing people together through shared understanding. The delicate balance of almost, but not quite, mirrors my approach to forging meaningful bonds, where empathy and emotional sensitivity guide the interactions. However, there are a few situations where my interpersonal intelligence can't be a helpful hand. Depends on the person that i'm facing. The person could be emotionally unstable, and my interpersonal intelligence is not enough to help me create a bond between us.
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Weekly Journal 1
My Interest of Dinosaurs
When I was 6 years old, I liked playing with dinosaur toys. My parents bought a lot of them for me and my love towards dinosaurs grew. I also loved Jurassic Park because it introduced me to dinosaurs and introduced my favourite dinosaur, Tyrannosaurus Rex. When I was allowed to use my mother's laptop at 9 years old, I always looked for dinosaur videos on YouTube and found many different types of videos like documentaries, toy videos, animation and etc. From those videos, I liked to ask my mom to buy more dinosaur toys. During this time, I also found many different types of dinosaur YouTubers like TheGamingBeaver, BestinSloth and Poet Plays. My favourite was definitely TheGamingBeaver. Moreover, I played my first dinosaur game which is Jurassic Park Builder.
Around 10 years old, I started to learn more about dinosaurs like different time periods, different species and their fossils. I also found many favourite types of dinosaurs that grew on me like Triceratops, Parasaurolophus and Velociraptor. Although, I still hated Spinosaurus because in Jurassic Park 3, it killed a T. Rex and I was very mad about it. Anyway, I also played Jurassic World The Game and it was a good game but I uninstalled Jurassic Park Builder because I was not interested in it anymore.
During middle school, my drawings on dinosaurs improved even more and I was very proud of myself. Also, I began to like spinosaurus even more after knowing the accurate Spinosaurus, which looked weird but cool. I actually started to like the more accurate looking dinosaurs like the add of feathers, their biology and their looks. However, near the end of middle school, my love towards dinosaurs was slowly fading away as I took interest in other things like anime.
When I was about to enter college, I was able to rekindle my interest in dinosaurs again. I think it was because of this person named Dino Guy who made videos on the many interpretations of dinosaur series, and I liked it a lot. I also started to watch TheGamingBeaver again after many years. While I was still able to draw dinosaurs, I wasn't able to find the motivation to draw them anymore as I got busier growing up. I also watched a new documentary called Prehistoric Planet and I loved it so much. With all that, I assured myself that I still loved dinosaurs. I realised that my interest in them was never going away.
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Everyone are talking about this one cookies from Ben's. In each and every social media, people keep give them a good review . So, finally I decided to try them on my own. Is it worth the hype? The answer is YES AND ABSOLUTELY YESS . This cookies will upgrade your taste bud to another level. It won't just only melt into your mouth but make you fall in love with it buttery and rich in chocolate flavour in every bites. The outside is crunchy and softer on the inside. Unlike the other cookies rely on the ordinary chocolate chips, this one use chunks of chocolate bar. In every bites, you can feel the fancy and luxurious chocolate flavour. It gives you a hint of beryl's chocolate. You won't just enjoy one. You will comeback for sure 😊. Btw, I tried two of them. They are milk chocolate chunks which I would rate 9/10 and white chocolate and macadamia 7/10. I'm not a cookies lovers but this just makes me one. Run and go grab yours too.
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My first day at university
After finished my high school book. I went to a university called Kolej Poly-Tech MARA that located in Bangi. I was feeling anxious back then because I had never went far from my family. All I can think is "Will they accept me? " After the registration, we went to the hostel, it is a room for three. In that room has me, my high school friend, Izzah and our new friend, Wina. After unpacked my stuffs, my parents and I went to had a meal, we talked about my expectations for my new journey. I answered with full of confidents that I can handle everything. Later that evening, they had to drop me off, after that we went to take some rest. At night, I couldn't sleep thinking about all the things that I' ve done before, and of course homesick is a must. In the end of the day, I strongly believed that the fate has the best plan for me.
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Weekly Journal 1 : My high school life 🫶🏻
Whenever I think of my school days, my heart wells up with emotions. These are experiences that have brought me to what I am today. I still remember clearly the feelings of entering this school on the first day. Everything was so big and the school building seemed enormous as I was so nervous not knowing exactly which way to go and whom to speak to. However, I'm making friends through classmates and school clubs. Those friendships have become a lifeline for me. High school has really been an emotional roller coaster. Days were full of laughter, mainly in the last year at that school. I'll never forget the time when we created a lot of memories there. Therefore, being part of the secretary of a netball club taught me teamwork and discipline. Those late-night practices and weekend competitions bonded us in ways I never expected. As I am getting closer and closer to graduation, various emotions surge to my mind excitement and apprehension of the future. High school has been a big chapter in my life, a life full of lessons learnt and memories that I will be bringing with me throughout life.
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Aku Bisa Apa?
Jika ditanya rasanya sedalam apa?
Aku tidak bisa menakarnya.
Jika ditanya seingin apa?
Seperti ingin menggenggam seluruh dunia.
Perasaan yang sekiranya tak pernah engkau kira atau pula engkau terima, setiap harinya ia tumbuh tanpa sedikitpun rasa iba.
Kesempatan yang tak kunjung datang itu kadang-kadang membuatku putus asa.
Tetapi, melangitkan namamu dalam setiap doa, tak akan hentinya aku coba.
Barangkali, mencintaimu adalah sebuah usaha tanpa timbal balik.
Oleh karena itu, aku dituntut untuk siap menghadapi berbagai hal pelik.
Seperti melihat tuju mu yang semakin mengarah kepadanya.
Ah! Apakah tak ada 1 saja doaku yang sampai pada yang kuasa?!
Padahal aku sungguh ingin memberikan duniaku yang utuh untuknya, namun jika ia lebih memilih semesta lain,
Aku bisa apa?
~ Dec, 13th ‘22 | © Dea Savitri
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Dulu vs Sekarang, ya Emang gak Sama!
Hidup makin ke sini makin sendiri-sendiri. Dulu kemana-mana rame-rame seru, sekarang udah sendiri-sendiri. Ada yang udah berumah tangga, ada yang masih single tapi pindah kota, dll. Ya udah rasanya pasti udah gak sama.
Sibuk sama urusan masing-masing. Sesekali tanya kabar mentok ya ngintip aja lewat postingan di media sosial yang sekelumit itu tapi tetap alhamdulillah.
Mau meet up atur jadwalnya gak bisa kayak dulu, yang ngajak sekarang keluar sekarang juga dijabanin. Sekarang pertimbangannya banyak, tapi ya gitu kan hidup. Bertumbuh, berkembang. Masa iya mau gitu-gitu aja.
Yang dulu dekat dan tetap dekat ada. Yang dulu dekat tapi jadi gak sedekat dulu ada. Yang dulu gak dekat tapi tiba-tiba dekat juga mungkin aja.
Manusia dinamisnya luar biasa.
Sedih dan kecewa karena keadaan berubah itu gak apa-apa, namanya juga perasaan kan. Valid. Tapi memaksakan hal-hal yang dulu tetap ada kayaknya terlalu egois ya. Gak perlu juga lah.
Pun kalau interaksi gak sebanyak dulu ya wajar aja, prioritas bergeser dan pasti berbeda.
Dulu, kalau kita lagi capek, down, tanpa diminta mungkin mereka paling pertama kasih semangatnya.
Hari ini, mau sejungkir balik apa kita, beberapa orang di sekitar, mungkin bukan gak peduli, tapi ya udah gak sempet aja kasih energinya buat kita. Karena ya itu tadi prioritasnya berbeda.
Gak lagi dikasih semangat, gak lagi sesering itu keep contact ya udah jangan dibaperin lama-lama.
Sedih boleh, marah boleh, tapi marah ke siapa?
Hidup kita bukan urusan mereka. Toh sekarang ada yang benar-benar dekat dan kasih energinya dengan sukarela setiap saat.
Kenapa cari yang gak ada?
Ya kangen aja. Tiap diem, keinget dulu kemana-mana bareng. Ada yang kesusahan dikit langsung cepet buat bangkitinnya. Sekarang boro-boro, kadang juga tau kabarnya setelah sekian bulan lamanya.
Udah, udah gak apa-apa. Emang gitu siklusnya. Didoain aja, semoga di manapun tempatnya selalu ada bahagia dan sehat buat mereka.
Oh, lagi, kalau saat mereka susah terus kita ada tapi pas keadaan sebaliknya mereka gak ada, gak apa-apa juga. Mungkin pada waktu itu kitanya lagi longgar jadi energinya ada. Dan waktu kitanya capek, butuh semangat, eh taunya mereka gak ada, mungkin bukan mereka gak peduli. Tapi bisa aja mereka juga lagi merasakan hal yang sama. Jadi ya gak ketemu aja. Gitu aja mikirnya, biar gak nambah beban capeknya.
Ttd,
Aku yang kangen sahabatku.
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Suara malam mengantarkan kantukku sedikit terlambat malam ini. Sedang kelam telah cukup lama menyelimuti langit, membiarkan bintang-bintang menjadi corak, berkelip setiap detik.
Dari kamar ibu kudengar sayup firmanNya mengalun. Menjadi senandung pejam yang akan selalu kurindukan saat raga ini dan rumah saling berjauhan.
Sudah terlalu lama aku mencari bahagia di luar rumah. Bahkan pernah pada sosok yang ternyata tak pantas kupercaya. Sampai akhirnya kusadar, bahagia itu, yang bisa kurasakan di dunia, berada di bawah atap seng, di balik dinding batu, yang kusebut rumah.
Bahagia itu teraduk dalam wangi aroma masakan ibu di kuali, larut dalam segelas teh manis hangat milik ayah, memantul di senyum keduanya.
Bahagia itu tepat di depan mata, di balik pintu kayu yang terkuak setiap waktu, kala kupulang membawa rindu dalam tas ransel pemberian ibu.
Bahagia itu tersimpan di hati yang tak pernah ragu akan kasih sayang Allah yang mengalir lewat kasih ayah dan ibu.
Betapa lelahnya selama ini kucari bahagia di tempat yang salah.
Batusangkar, 10122023
#coretansebelumtidur#selfreminder#selftalk#desembernulis#writers on tumblr#writingproject#30 day challenge#30 day writing challenge
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"Besok masuk apa?"
"Udah makan belum neng?"
"Mau dimasakin apa?"
"Pulang latihan langsung kerja?"
"Kamu ga renang dek?"
"Mau bawa bekal ga?"
Irama terindah itu suara ibu di rumah.
Suar(a)aksara, 7 Des 2023
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Raiha Falls
-I-
-後程-
A dark timbre hailed out into the courtyard as sharp and clear as a bullet dislodging into the night.
“Tch. It seems you're fair game to me now.”
As soon as Gin's hand disappeared beneath the lapel of his overcoat, as was his usual modus operandi, Vermouth in pursuit of both, the male executive and the girl, abandoned her cover.
The disguise of Kudō Yūsaku forsaken, and the mask forgone. To drew the noose ever tighter around the Kudō family, was something she'd shun till her last.
Gin at least, would've seen through one of her games, as the man had the keen sense of a bloodhound, able to sniff her out, even when no one else seemed to glean the truth beneath.
“I beg to differ. Lay off her, Gin.”
After tailing both, the male executive and the girl to a corporate building whose premises are bordered eastwardly by the Teimuzu river, Vermouth's voice still held an ounce of breathlessness within as it carried out into the courtyard.
Intercepting his line of fire, the actress drew her Belstaff coat closer to her lithe frame, missing the trusted weight of her gun, more than she would care to admit. And yet, her steps betrayed none of it. The almost meandering yet self-assured poise clad the woman in a habitual veneer of cold composure.
-後程-
Ran stood pale and unmoving, her back flush against the rails, and a vast escarpment just beyond. Torrents of glistering black cascaded into one of Raiha-no-taki's sunken pools and further onward into the river itself and left a constant roar in her ears.
A gaze of inquisitive indigo bore into the actress only in passing, but after a merest moment of indecision, seemed to come alight with recognition.
Her ever so quietly uttered “It's you.” so genuine in its sentiment, yet so profoundly wrong to the woman who struts upon this worldly stage in the guise of her own daughter.
If this evening was to steep in a grand drape of blood, at least this abhorrent lie shall take its last bow with her.
“Our traitor coming out to play. It shall be your undoing, woman.”
A heavy-booted prowl conquered its path on the concrete pavement.
Gin licked over his canines with decadent relish, tasted out on his words like a connoisseur would savour a comet vintage. He finally had her, the grande dame of deceit, no longer untouchable to him.
“We'll see.” she crooned in a low contralto.
Vermouth tilted her head to one side with an air of coquet aloofness, a lazy cavalier smirk thin on culpable quirked lips. All but acting the Agent provocateur she was.
It reaped her nothing but a contemptuous scowl.
Calloused olive iries seethed, narrowed in utter distrust, as Gin considered the little karateka to whom Vermouth seemed so unequivocally drawn.
“Far from that sleuth, it has been the Mōri girl and the bouya, you were drawn to. Our line of work should've ridden you of such foolish sentiments. It doesn't become you, Vermouth.”
The defiant gleam in vibrant turquoise bedimmed into guardedness. “Is there something you're looking for, Gin?”
The man ground his jaw, a low baritone deepening further till it bled into a growl. “Tsk. Doesn't matter. She'll merely precede them. That brat and dilettante tantei will be disposed of soon enough.”
The silver blond executive flared his nostrils, keen to mete out the coup de grâce, now that his game was afoot.
“No, yamete.” a soft outcry, followed by a cascade of lightsome footsteps, draw the immediate focus of both syndicate members.
The muzzle trained to the high of Vermouth’s heart aligned its aim in a split second.
Her attention never to stray far from Gin, she read his intention not a moment to soon.
Acting on a desperate momentum, Vermouth lay one gloved palm to the small of Ran's waist, and spun them both around. Outmanoeuvring the muzzle until it no longer trained on the girl, but left the elder woman vulnerable in its stead. Negligent to her own, Vermouth took utmost care to coax Ran's head into a protective dip against her own sternum.
Mere seconds later, a shot rang out into the courtyard like a bell tolling.
-後程-
#dcmk#meitantei conan#conanverse#detective conan#vermouth#gin#ran mouri#canon divergence#unbeta’ed#writingproject#writing#dcmk fanfic#ensemble fanfic#fanfic#zimtescapism
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Some writers preparing for new writing projects (particularly in November for a variety of reasons).
But...what if you don't know which writing project to work on yet!?
Here are some strategies to figure out your next writing project! There will be a part 2 coming later this week.
Image reads: "Strategies To Figure Out Your Next Writing Project: 1. Pick a project at random and work on it 2. Pick a project based on what genre you want to write in (mystery, fantasy,etc.) The two images beside the text are of a person staring at a sign that points in multiple directions, and a pile of books on top of each other.
Want to learn more about me and my work?
Check out my Carrd for links to my books, website, and more: https://clarislam.carrd.co
#writeblr#author#writingcommunity#writingproject#wip#workinprogress#writing#writinglife#writerproblems#writer#writerssupportingwriters#writerscommunity#claris speaks#writing life
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