#writing: mass effect

[tarysande]

The best part about coming back to the source material after a looooong time is you sorta get a fresh look at canon in comparison to whatever the dominant strains of fanon have become. Or, in fact, whatever your own dominant strains of headcanon have become.

I mean, yes, Garrus “I’m not a good turian” Vakarian gets infinitely cooler (and more competent!) by pretty much every metric as the storyline progresses. He does. But fresh out of ME1 and into ME2 through his recruitment, I find myself genuinely amused by how thin the veneer of badass is over a pretty dominant core of straight-up nerd sprinkled with idealism mixed with self-doubt.

When you have Garrus in the squad all the time (and thus get all his ambient dialogue and remarks), you really pick up on the number of times he calls out bad behavior, unethical actions, cruelty, and rule-breaking, especially in ME1.

He’s not actually a hothead who can’t abide rules of any kind. In fact, most of the time he’s pretty pro-law-and-order, and he gets amusingly hall-monitorish when people are breaking rules he considers important and worth following.

Fundamentally, Garrus chafes when his sense of what is just is at odds with what the authorities do about that injustice (or what they stop him from doing). And I would hazard a guess that the reason his actions seem so intense or harsh or "of course we should have shot down that ship in the middle of the Citadel" is indicative not of his impatience but of the degree to which he thinks the authorities have failed to uphold that justice. We know he can be patient. He's a sniper. His whole modus operandi on Omega is precision kills without civilian casualty. But when that long fuse finally burns down, he goes from zero to shooting down ships in the middle of the Citadel in what looks (from the outside) like a heartbeat.

And yes, injured pride hastens the burning of that fuse; he doesn’t like losing. Or admitting defeat. Or failing.

Having just replayed his recruitment mission, a few things really stood out to me this time.

The merc bands really hate him--and they also reluctantly admire him (he's described as smart, resourceful, dangerous, idealistic, brave, slippery; they all agree they only way they managed to get this far is by isolating him and employing dirty tactics). I mean, there's literally a station-wide announcement that Omega can return to "business as usual" once Archangel is out of the picture because he was disrupting things so completely.

The way Garrus blames himself for the deaths of his squad is so freaking turian. Failure reflects on the leader who places his people in danger they can't handle, not the individual who fails. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Yes, Sidonis betrayed him, but the person Garrus blames the most? Is himself. For trusting Sidonis in the first place. For raising Sidonis to a position where he had the means and opportunity to harm others--and the weakness of character to turn coat, to save his own hide, instead of dying to protect the others.

Garrus mentions more than once that he was trying to emulate Shepard. And his tone always implies that he knows he failed because Shepard would never have let a Sidonis into the fold. Again, he's blaming himself. Like a good turian. Yes, he wanted to avoid the red tape and bureaucracy of C-Sec, but his code--Archangel's code--certainly aligns with Paragon Shepard's morality (with a Garrus Vakarian twist).

And since it wouldn't be meta without adding a Tara's Headcanon Twist ... I've always wondered why "Archangel" when it's such a ... human concept. But this time, when I noticed how he spoke about Shepard's influence, and how quickly he brushes aside the name when she asks him about it, I wondered if it wasn't actually his way of honoring the mythology of the dead woman whose example he was trying to follow. Not that Shepard is a God he's worshiping, but ... there is something about the way he talks about her. Garrus doesn't make himself over in the image of a God, though; he's the soldier, the right hand, the avenging angel responsible for carrying out divine punishments suited and proportional to the crimes committed, the rules broken, the selfishness or cruelty of the perpetrator.

[mostmagical]

garrus drowning in his own blood after getting shot with the rocket... certain he’s going to die this time, but at least he won’t be alone because there’s shepard looking down at him and she looks terrified, but, really, he already knew he was going to die today anyway… there was a moment he had thought he might make it out when he saw her on the bridge, but that was before half his face got blown off. before he was left desperately gasping for air. he's terrified. he can't breathe. he can barely grasp his rifle. he's going to die.

of course he’d do anything for her after he wakes up; he thought he was surely going to die twice that day and she saved his life both times.

[madamedramatics]

A scenario where Shepard jokes with Vega, saying she's practically Garrus' wife now after she promotes him to her XO during the war, resulting in them unintentionally spending a lot more time together.

The joke goes over Vega's head, and he goes to congratulate Garrus personally. Garrus is confused, and Vega promises to keep the "secret marriage" a secret. Garrus now has to figure out how in the hell he accidentally proposed to and married a human and how is he supposed to tell his dad he missed the unplanned wedding and the ceremonial meeting of his fiancé. He was almost 30, but this was going to get him grounded for at least another 30 years or maybe even life.

Was he supposed to get his new wife a gift? Where they supposed to get matching tattoos like Turians? He could've sworn he read somewhere that humans consummated their vows the same way Turians do. Where did he go wrong dammit!?

He adores the idea of Shepard being his wife and loves knowing that she was so excited that she even told Vega about it. He just now has to figure out how he married her in the first place without her knowing he doesn't know. Because then she'll think he never wanted to marry her, and that is NOT the case. Maybe Tali will know? No way. She'd just call him a bosh'tet. Wrex will also call him a professional idiot. Liara won't judge, but he's sure she still hasn't gotten over her crush on the Commander, and he doesn't want to rub his new marriage in her face. Maybe Joker will tell him if he promises him the new fornax issue.

Garrus has had his fair share of giving his dad a pseudo aneurysm, but this one was going to send him into cardiac arrest for sure when he finds out his son married a woman the family didn't even meet. He needs a drink...after he finishes bribing Edi to scrub away everything she just heard him say out loud.

Garrus doesn't know that Vega is the galaxy's worst secret keeper, telling Shepard he's keeping the secret marriage a secret unwilling to let Shepard convince him that she's actually not married yet. She goes to see Garrus to have a good laugh about Vega's idiocy but walks into Garrus telling Edi he will use Shepard's override if she doesn't get rid of something.

Garrus is absolutely mortified and gives the cheesiest greeting to his "wife." She assumes Vega already brought the joke to Garrus but she's not overlooking him trying to be suspicious with Edi. He recovers, mentioning it was for his sesrch history for a gift he wanted to get her. He did intend to get her a gift so the phrase wasn't a complete lie...

She jokes about it and calls him her husband. Garrus, the realist he is, does not take this as a joke. She leaves him to his vices, and Garrus is now in a full-blown panic. He needs to understand what he did, and he needs to know now.

(If my brain gets any more random ideas, I'll at least finish and provide a resolution to this concept, lol. Feel free to offer your own ending)

[aldruiel-scribbles]

This morning I was reading a fanfic (ao3) and everything was fine until in the comment section the author answered a question about the writing AI she was using. I felt such visceral disgust at that. I dropped the story like it was acid.

To those that use AI. How dare you? How dare you to have the audacity of using a program that steals people's creativity? How dare you feed it, taking that which was granted with love and passion and then transform it into a soulless program? How dare you bend yourself to these corporations that only seek to exploits us further?

I would 100% prefer to read a fic that has mistakes but that has care into every word and a person behind it with immense love for the fandom, than to read Shakespeare vomited by a code that it was written by a thousand cunts that wank themselves at a picture of Mark Zuckerberg.

If you're doing mental gymnastics to justify art theft and exploitation, then there's no mistake. You are wrong. Nothing will change that.

[edains]

Children of Rannoch: Notable Quarians aboard the Rayya

Children of Rannoch - A Quarian Overhaul (LE2)

(template)

[grimwarden]

i can't believe they don't let me romance the dilf alien

[mattodore]

birthday boy 🎂

[astorythatwritesitself]

yes good day hi I am being COMPLETELY normal don't look at the tags about this Valentine's YCH from @valkblue 😭

[sky-scribbles]

There are a lot of things to love about the SSV Normandy. It’s a symbol of cooperation between two species historically at odds. It’s a miracle of engineering, a technological masterpiece that could alter every pattern of space warfare. Its crew is the highest calibre that the Alliance has to offer, bolstered by multispecies allies: an emblem of flying hope.

It also has far, far too many flashing lights. Everywhere.

One hand pressed to the wall to keep himself steady, the other pressed against his forehead as if that’s going to do any good, Kaidan shuffles down the hall toward the med bay. Every light panel and display interface feels like a laser drill boring directly through his eyes, sounds reverberate against the inside of his skull, and his sense of balance is a distant, pleasant memory. Kaidan sucks in a tight breath between his teeth. It’s going to be okay. He can do this. He’s done it before.

He drags himself the last few feet, and the med bay doors slide open. Kaidan opens up his omni-tool – god, why are those so bright, too? – and does what he’s done a hundred times, scanning the medical interface so that the med system logs him. Doctor Chakwas isn’t here, which means she’s on her rest shift, but that’s fine. The med system will alert her if there’s a problem.  

Kaidan, turns, so ready to collapse into the nearest med bed – except he can’t. Because there’s someone already in it.

‘Oh,’ he says. ‘Hey, Tali.’

‘Hey, Lieutenant.�� She still seems shy about using his first name. Maybe it’s a habit from being raised on board ships, or maybe she’s just not sure if she’s allowed. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I will be once the pain meds kick in.’ Kaidan makes it to the next bed along and finally, finally lies down and shuts his eyes. ‘Doctor Chakwas is just… pretty strict about me coming here whenever a migraine kicks in. Just in case it’s a sign of something going wrong with my implant.’

Through the fog of everything hurts, it finally surfaces in his brain that Tali in the med bay is… that’s bad, right? ‘What about you? Are you, you know –?’

Okay, he’s not sure how to finish that sentence. There’s probably not a polite way to say hey, are you here because you’ve picked up a fatal illness?

He cracks one eye open, just enough to see her looking glumly at him. He’s not sure how he can tell that she’s glum when all he can see is her eyes, but yeah. She’s glum. ‘You know how I took a hit on Feros?’

‘Yeah.’

‘And how I disinfected it, and used my patch kit on the suit breach, and told Shepard I was fine?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I was not fine.’ She slumps down miserably. ‘My throat is full of painful slime, my sinuses are on fire, and my halesh –’ Okay, that’s obviously some piece of quarian anatomy – ‘is more gummed up than I can describe.’

Kaidan shuts his eyes again. ‘Well, my skull feels like it’s slowly contracting and crushing my brain, so… I sort of feel you.’

She laughs weakly. ‘I should have run an extra med scan once I got back to the Normandy. I just – I wanted to help with the engine maintenance today. And there’s this combat drone design I’m working on. And now…’ There’s a sound of movement; Kaidan gets the impression that she’s gesturing at the med bay in angry helplessness.

‘I feel that too.’ And he does. He really does. This isn’t the worst migraine he’s ever had – he can actually hold a conversation, which some days would be beyond him. But it’s… it’s not great. And he had things to do. Ash was running a drill and wanted him to look over her plans. He had a cleaning shift at fourteen hours. Shepard wanted to talk strategy for Noveria.  And yes, he knows he has a right to take time off for a medical issue. He knows he’s no use to Ash or Shepard or anyone when he can’t even walk in a straight line. But knowing that doesn’t quite get rid of the squirm in his belly, the one that feels like letting people down.

Tali’s quiet for a minute, aside from the ever-present, barely-audible hum of her suit systems, and the occasional sniff from behind her helmet. Then she says, unexpectedly, ‘I’m just… I’m so tired. You know what I mean?’

Kaidan’s head throbs. He swallows. ‘Oh, yeah.’

The constant vigilance. Always having to be careful about where he goes – is this room too bright? Is this one too loud? – in case something triggers another bad spell. Taking hits to the head in a fight that anyone else could just shrug off, but that for him mean another trip to the med bay to make sure his implant isn’t damaged. Trying to do his job and suddenly finding, no, he can’t, because his body has decided that today’s the day he just doesn’t get to function.

Tali… she must go through the same awful deal, just in a different flavour. Always being careful, so careful. Someone else’s minor injury being her okay, let’s get a med check to make sure I won’t die. It’s not the same, of course: Kaidan can eat food without filtering it, touch people without protective layers, see people’s faces without a tinted mask. Still… there’s a tone in her voice that he knows from his own.

There’s a heavy silence. Then Tali says, ‘You know what’s really stupid? I left my datapad in my cabin, so I can’t even watch vids.’

Kaidan smiles. He’s seen her down in Engineering, a few times, hands flying around over the machinery, rocking back and forth on her heels. Idleness obviously doesn’t suit her. ‘You can borrow mine, if you like.’

‘Really?’ Her voice is already brighter. ‘I mean – won’t the noise will make you feel worse?’

‘Nah, I’ll be good.’ He’s not just saying it; there’s a blissful numbness creeping through his head which means that his meds are finally getting to work. He fishes the datapad from his pocket, taps in his passcode, and hands it over. ‘What kind of vids do you like?’

Her whole being perks up – tone, body, everything. ‘Oh, all of them.Any genre, any species. I mean… asari vids can be a bit long. I mean, they’re made by people who can spend a decade making a vid and a whole day watching it. Turians… their vids can be a bit depressing. There’s a lot of ‘this war ended with almost everyone dead, but one turian is still standing, so it’s a victory!”

‘What about quarians? What kinds of stories do your people tell?’

A small laugh echoes inside the helmet. ‘Quarian vids are pretty limited by environment. We don’t have a lot of varied sets to work with. So we tell the best long-running dramas. There’s one ship in the Flotilla that’s been hosting the same series for over eighty standard years now. Following the crew as they change over time, that sort of thing.’ She taps the base of her helmet. ‘It’s pretty good, but… I think if you watched it, you’d think there were a lot more explosions, murders and shipwide romantic entanglements in the Flotilla than there actually are.’

‘Human dramas are like that too.’

Tali laughs. ‘Quarian dramas make human dramas look relaxed.’

Kaidan finds he’s actually able to grin. ‘So what do human vids tell you about us?’

Her helmet tilts as she considers. ‘That you’re very individualistic. I mean, not every human culture. But you put a lot of focus onto characters and personal journeys.’ She scrolls down the datapad screen – looking through vid lists, presumably – then stops. It’s hard to tell, but Kaidan thinks she might be frowning. ‘I did notice… in a lot of human media, the biotics are…’

Another insistent pulse of pain through his temples. Kaidan sighs. ‘Crazy extremists?’

‘Yes. Do you… do you mind if I ask why that is?’

‘No, it’s fine.’ Kaidan turns onto his back and stares up at the dim ceiling. ‘A lot of the early generation of biotics, the ones who got the same implants as me… let’s just say I got off lightly. Most ended up with much more serious medical conditions. And when people found out about the side effects of the L2 implants, the media got the bit between its teeth and –’ Yeah, no, that wasn’t going to translate. ‘Sorry. Human saying. They got a certain impression, and they ran with it.’

Tali’s quiet for several seconds. Kaidan twists his head to face her, and sees the pale eyes behind the mask giving him a long, steady look.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says. And then, after a moment, ‘They tell lies about us, too.’

Kaidan holds her gaze, and feels terribly, achingly sad. ‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘I bet they do.’

 The way people look at Tali as she walks through the Presidium… it’s familiar. Not quite the same. There’s a note of scorn in the looks they give to Tali – but there’s suspicion, too, and that’s something he knows. All the times back on Earth, after he got back from Jump Zero, when he shook someone’s hand or opened a door, and their eyes found the implants. They way they stared at him like he was a loaded gun. All the documents he had to fill out to do anything, the knowledge that any government he lived under would always be hovering a few steps away, keeping tabs, making sure.

Remembering Rahna – remembering that obvious, instinctive fear in her eyes – is an old memory now, the kind that’s a faded scar. But he remembers the shock of it, back when he was seventeen. When no one had looked at him like that before, and it was dizzying and new and felt like a hole in his gut.

He bets Tali has that hole in her gut all the time.

Kaidan pushes himself up a little – which makes his brain spin, but he manages it – and gives Tali a smile. ‘Well. Let’s look for something that gets us both right.’

‘Definitely.’ She flicks through the options for a minute more, then pauses. ‘Have you ever seen Fleet and Flotilla?’

‘I think I’ve heard of it.’ There’s a faint memory of seeing an ad for it, maybe, and thinking it was the kind of thing he’d have loved as a kid. Space exploration. Justice. Love. ‘The… war romance, right?’

‘Yes!’ Tali’s legs bounce. ‘It’s – keelah, it’s so good, it’s – it’s about this girl, Shalei, who’s on her pilgrimage. And she’s interested in the geth, because she’s got this dream of finding a way to defeat them and take back the Homeworld, right? And when she finds something, she goes to the Citadel for help, but no one will listen except this one turian called Bellicus –’

‘Hold up. Wasn’t that… exactly what you were doing when we met you? Minus the turian, I mean.’

Tali ducks her head, suddenly shy. ‘I… I really, really like the vid.’

No kidding. Kaidan smiles. ‘So let’s watch it.’

His head still feels like a bombsite, and when he thinks about all the things he wants to be doing for his crew and isn’t, the rest of him hurts too. But maybe he’s still doing something for his crew, sitting in the med bay with his sick squadmate – his sick friend – and sharing her favourite vid with her. Maybe he’s doing something for him, too. He doesn’t do that too often.

Tali props the datapad up on the table between their beds, her whole body one big smile. ‘You’re going to love this,’ she promises, and presses play.

[dalishious]

So this foreboding thought just occurred to me... What if... Oh no...

EDIT: Folks this is not confirmed it's just a fear I have

[ct7567scyarika]

Me: Wow! That was a great game, and I really love this character 🥰🥰 Enjoyed the romance bits with them. Can’t wait to see all the fanart and stuff about them-

Me:

Me: oh

Me: oh the fandom hates them.

[rubensmuse]

We here on tumblr.gov sure get into a lot of tiffs over what does and does not constitute monsterfucking. And the moment I laid eyes on this post, I knew I was gonna have to press-gang my bestie into creating this, our finest work,

The Monsterfucker Iceberg

@tinynaught pulled most of the names and did the initial sorting; I helped flesh it out and created the finished product. Feel free to fight amongst yourselves.

Order is based entirely on the looks you would get telling people you wanna fuck that; logistics were not strictly taken into account.

[mostmagical]

I really love the detail of garrus always being that one step behind shepard... and not in the literal "got your back" sense (though of course I love that too), but in the figurative "just short of crossing the finish line" sense. like ME1: when you meet garrus, he's already been on this saren case, he's just been unable to get anyone to take it seriously. in walks shepard, and shepard is able to do all these things garrus couldn't quite do: becomes spectre, is taken (somewhat) seriously, goes on galaxy-wide chase to take down saren. wins. garrus has always been trying to do "right" in a way that makes sense, and here's this human that just already knows how and DOES IT.

then ME2, garrus is still on this quest to do right. he manages to put together a team, but ultimately, this enterprise is a failure too. he just can't quite make it. but that's when shepard arrives, picks garrus up, and in one day defeats the gang leaders that garrus has been after for MONTHS. also important to note without getting into the whole religious symbolism of it: his team is 11 people, with garrus himself being the 12th. by the end of ME2, shepard successfully accomplishes their goal with a team of 12 total. 12 followers. 12 disciples. I'm not getting into it. but. just look at those numbers. you know what I'm trying to say.

by ME3, garrus DOES make it over this finish line. he DOES get his promotion and people respecting him. but it sucks. after years of striving to get to the finish line, to cross that mountain, he gets there and it's so much pressure. but the wonderful thing is, now instead of being a step behind, he's shoulder-to-shoulder with shepard, which allows for the open communication and support that the two of them get to have because he GETS IT. he was watching the whole time from behind. he's seen all the highs, and the lows, and now in the low low, he knows what it's LIKE. it's like this wonderful full circle moment where he's able to support the person he's looked up to for so long.

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Shepard likes 'em dangerous

Shepard, watching Kaidan reaving someone to death: Isn't he awesome?

Liara: …

Shepard, dreamy: I bet he can rip us all in half…

Liara: Can you please sound less enthusiastic about it?

Shepard: Nope.

[babygurltash]

Really stupid durgetash AU in which being tadpoled and brain scrambled somehow didn't reset durge to lv1 and they still have access to super high-level magic but they don't know it

So everything starts as normal, and then when Karlach is telling durge about her past with Gortash, durge is like "Wow I wish I knew what that guy's problem is" & I guess Mystra is like "lol sure" and restores durge's memories of gort

So then the rest of the story is just durge being like FUCK I HAVE TO GET BACK TO MY HORRIBLE WIFE?? while still trying to understand wtf is going on with everything except this one (1) guy they're apparently obsessed with

[anakliro]

I had no pulse at that moment