#writing this made me extra happy for Uryu's emotional growth

[el-yon]

Do you think Ryuuken and Kanae really did loving each other romantically? I mean, Kanae was obviouslu devoted to him, but in your opinion how about Ryuuken? Is it possibly a half-hearted relationship that ended up as a marriage, because Ryuuken was kinda lost in such a painful situation?

"Ryuuken was kinda lost in such a painful situation" pretty much describes him throughout Bleach, doesn't it? Girl he was supposed to marry out of arrangement but he had feelings for gets attacked by a hollow, barely makes it out alive thanks to a bizarre spiritual move, marries a shinigami and then dies. Women he loves and becomes the mother of his child falls into a comma and dies. He tries to keep his kid away from the warring-troubles with the worst approach to it, and his estranged son befriends the shinigami-hollow-quincy-human who happens to be the son of the girl he liked and the shinigami she married, and now they have to join forces to defeat the quincy-king who is responsible for both women's deaths. OOF. Anyway, onto the ask:

I should start by saying that I am not exactly a Ryuuken deep-diver... but this ask does seem like a great opportunity to dive a tiny bit more, so thank you for this ✨-- i had a lot of fun writing this, so brace yourself !

Do I think that he loved Kanae? Yes, and I believe it was a whole-hearted relationship; despite of Ryuuken's terrible emotional aloofness and inability to express himself.

This is something to keep in mind: we know that Ryuuken is not good with expressing/receiving affection, as we have seen from how he handled things with his son. His feelings for Masaki were also ill-expressed; they only manifest in an angst-filled situation when her life is in danger and he resents his powerlessness (even though he was young, Kubo's message about his character seems pretty consistant).

And to make matters worse, we don't have any glimpses on how Ryuuken and Katagiri got together; all we know is that Masaki left the Ishida house, which was (according to Isshin) the decisive move for Ryuuken to detach himsel, and a few years later, Ryuuken and Kanae are married and with child. This may have some angst bittersweet taste to it, but this was actually a good thing. The Ryuuken/Masaki possibility got scrapped during EBTR - letting Masaki go was a post-fact liberating act for everyone involved, so I don’t think that Ryuuken got “stuck” in his feelings for Masaki. They grew up, life went on. 

But let’s dig for his and Kanae’s bond.

The nobility quincy nonsense makes it clear that Katagiri is a servant, but we have these indications that Ryuuken saw their rapport in a different light. When he talks about his mother and Masaki, he seems to confide in her - something that his character would not do if she was, in fact, “just a servant”. On the fateful events, one could say that he told her to follow him when he went after Masaki because it was her duty; but Ryuuken knew Masaki was breaking the rules. It would have been wiser to a) just send someone - Katagiri alone, for instance - but Masaki would suffer the consequences for it, or b) go by himself, that way he would guarantee to be the only one to know about it. Yet he takes Katagiri, and he is certain she will “follow his order” because he is trusting her, and this is my impression of it, but he trusts her in a more intimate manner than just duty-bound procedures. I say this because of *this* reaction:

He could have yelled at her, he could have just trapped her with the arm next to her, but he pins her wrist with his hand against the wall (I mean... come on!!... anyhow, I have come to over focus on hands, blame Kubo for his narrative style)  -- and their clashing eye contact after is really more than a master-servant relationship, methinks. Later that night, Ryuuken may try to deflect it and re-center them around formalities, but Kanae refuses to do so and exposes her feelings. Now, even though his “that’s enough” does seem cold, it seems to me that part of him, the part that tells her “let’s come back home” is actually accepting a) Kanae’s feelings, and b) his own (late) confirmation that this person right there is not just another formality, that the trust he built around her so far was not just based on quincy-duties, but on genuine affection. 

Onto speculation now, but there is another issue: Katagiri is considered “inferior”. From what we gathered so far about his family, it feels safe to assume his mother and/or other authorities (?) were not fond of the idea of her marrying into the Ishida family. Ryuuken probably went through some trouble to solidify their relationship, and I don’t think he would have done it if his heart wasn’t fully in it. 

Kanae was probably one of the very few bonds (a heart, if you will) that Ryuuken managed to build, and when she is taken from him, he looses it in a very Ryuuken fashion - which traumatizes his son on the process, not only because of the autopsy, but because of the entire aftermath. Ryuuken was probably confirming that her death did happen due to Ywach (and there is a major TYBW spoiler as to what else he finds in there), due to being a Quincy, and as if this wasn’t enough to crush him, it informs him that their son is bound for trouble in the future if he follows down the Quincy road, so Ryuuken closes himself off.

The anime showed a frame of Kanae holding Uryu (thank you SP for the heartbreak, by the way) when Isshin is telling Ichigo about her death, but the original shot was Ryuuken facing the window and a small frame of solo-Kanae. Because of the contrast of Isshin over-the-top picture of Masaki in the living room and him constantly bringing her up, it can be easy to think that Ryuuken and Kanae’s relationship was not as “loving” as Isshin and Masaki. But I don’t think that is true - these are two very different couples. Isshin and Ryuuken are two very different men, and Masaki and Kanae are two very different women, but both of them understand their respective partners and their deflection strategies - humor and aloofness -, embrace their love as they come, and build their own affection spaces, each on their own way. 

Ryuuken’s mind might have been troubled by resentment, anxiety and fears over the course of his life, but as far as his relationship with Kanae is concerned, I like to think that there was a beautiful heart right there, that he did love her as well as his emotionally troubled self could, and that amidst all his angst, he was actually happy -- even if Kubo won’t let us see that.