#writing for COD feels like a chore at this point.
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I'm out of the loop on what's going on in the community right now but from what I've gathered - it's a fuckin' mess. Just so unnecessarily stressful.
I don't know what or who to believe so I'm just gonna carry on how I usually do. I've seen enough shit.
#truth be told I'm close to just leaving COD behind entirely.#it's not fun anymore when crap like this keeps happening and i have received some nasty messages in the past.#writing for COD feels like a chore at this point.#i feel like i HAVE to write for it because i have all these requests and so many mutuals that are in the fandom...#I'm gonna try to finish my requests and after that... idk.#I have too much goin' on in my life for internet drama.#vee's random thoughts go brr#vee's not important life updates#vee's thinking too much
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Smooch. (Ghost)
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Tags: Fluff, no smut, no use of y/n or “you” pronouns but can be read as self insert, gn partner, they/them for Ghost’s partner
A/N: (The author of this post is a minor and does not write nsfw, 18+/nsfw blogs dni!!) Just some softness with Simon bc im completely and totally enamored with him :33
~ Writing under the cut ~
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Dude, Simon is sooo obsessed with getting kissed, especially neck kisses cuz i imagine his neck is rlly fucking sensitive bc of some injuries he sustained from ages ago.
He loves being pulled by his waist close to his partner’s body, especially when he least expects it. He could be over the sink doing dishes and he’ll just feel a loving hand pull him away from the chore and litter his neck with kisses, causing him to blush and smile dumbly.
He loves giving them too!! When he’s big spoon he’ll lean in and press a soft kiss to his partner’s neck as their eyes start to grow heavier and flutter shut, getting one last smile out of them as they both fell asleep.
He’s just a huge puppy beneath his intimidating military demeanor, even though he can kill and not even bat an eye, sweet thing just loves attention and being loved <3
AND FUCKME DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LIP KISSES
French or chaste, a peck or passionate, he doesn’t care, he’ll melt in an instant no matter what. Even if it’s just a light brush against his partner’s own lips while they’re being a tease, he’ll fold IMMEDIATELY
His favorite ones however, are slow kisses, ones where he’s gently pulled into it and gets to feel soft, passionate lips press against his own for a long moment.
Usually his face will be held or his cheek will be stroked, and it’s so much innocent touch and tenderness in just one kiss that it leaves him absolutely reeling. Cuz contrary to popular belief!! He’s not a sex machine, and deserves tenderness too !!!!
Bonus points if it’s a morning kiss, one where they’re both laying in bed all drowsy and just pull each other close to wake up with each other’s lips on their own, being a motivator to get up each morning, even if he don’t wanna bc cuddling in bed is so much cozier,,,
He just wants to be doted on,, eueghhbb
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A/N: idk guys i just lovehim so much he makes me so sick eeughuhuhhhhe snifflesg .,,… ALGSO!!! Sorry if that little blurb abt him not being a sex machine offends anyone cuz i feel like it comes off as passive aggressive ??,, write and enjoy whatever you want, i don’t care !!! but imo there’s not enough content of the cod men just being loved on, and it saddens me when everything on my dash is just hardcore smut i never asked for 😞😞 LET BUFF DUDES BE SOFT !! FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!
#me when big men being sweet and vulnerable#i need him to be held#cod mw2#cod#cod mwii#call of duty mw2#mw2#ghost#cod ghost#ghost cod#call of duty ghost#simon ghost riley
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love language , ghost
note, this is my first piece in this world. i write hockey and some other stuff on a different account (@ilyasorokinn if you want to check it out), but this is the first piece i've written for ghost and cod in general, so please be kind. anyways, let me know if you'd want to see this for any other guy, and i'm so down :) another note, a huge shoutout to @nsharks for everything she does. this fic and acc wouldn't exist if i hadn't read your stuff, so you're so slay. pair, simon "ghost" riley x reader summary, simon checks out a book at the library about the five different love languages. warnings, soft simon <3 word count: 2327 words
(gif not mine)
Out of curiosity, Simon checked out a book at the library. It was about the 5 different love languages. He was expecting it to be a bore but was pleasantly surprised when he didn't want to claw his eyes out.
He was trying his best with you, he really was, but he wanted to show you how much he cared, and this book was going to help him show how much he cared about you.
i. acts of service - "Do chores together or make them breakfast in bed. Go out of your way to help alleviate their daily workload."
Saturdays were dedicated to laundry. Somehow it piled up, and you were often confused as to how. You let out a sigh as you started yet another load of laundry.
"I think we need to clean out our closet again."
"You say that every week." Simon pointed out, a hint of a smile on his face.
"And every week I mean it. I mean, how do we have so many clothes. I feel like I'm drowning in clothes and laundry detergent." You flopped back onto the bed, the same one Simon had just made.
"I'll do the next load." He volunteered.
"Will you really?" You peeked an eye open at him.
"Yeah." He nodded. He hated laundry almost as much as you did, if not more.
"You are a saint, Simon Riley." You leaned over and placed a dramatic kiss on his cheek.
"I wouldn't say a saint." He muttered but you didn't hear.
-
You watched him from the chair in the corner of your room as he folded clothes, "So, what do you want for dinner? We can have leftovers or there's some frozen chicken nuggets, I know you like those."
You spotted something of a smile on his face, "I'll take care of it."
You looked up from your book, then looked down at Stanley, your dog, who was laying at your feet and looked just as surprised as you, "You're going to cook tonight?"
"Don't sound so surprised." He grumbled.
"All right, you take care of dinner then. One less thing for me to do." You shrugged happily.
-
After laundry, you watched from your spot at the kitchen island as Simon moved around the kitchen. He was grabbing different things from different cabinets and from the fridge.
It was almost foreign for him to be in the kitchen, not that he had ever not cooked, it was just you were cooking (or ordering) for him because he was tired from a long mission.
"You know what you're doing, right?" You joked. He hardly heard you as he meticulously measured out his spices. You decided to wait it out in the living room, and you grabbed your glass and made your way over to the couch.
He finished his dish and carried the plates over to you. He sat down and handed you your utensils before handing you your plate. He watched your face the entire time for your reaction as you chewed on his dish.
"So?" You looked up to see the nervous, almost panicked look, on his face, "What do you think?"
"Simon, it's delicious." You complimented without hesitation, "Really." You set the plate down and reached over and hugged him.
You felt his body deflate as he relaxed, "I'm glad."
"Well now that we know you can cook, looks like you'll be in the kitchen." You nudged him jokingly. Stanley propped his front legs onto the couch, his tail wagging and his tongue hanging out, "I think Stanley wants to try some too." You smiled.
ii. physical touch - "Hug, kiss, hold hands, show physical affection often. Make intimacy a thoughtful priority."
Simon had only been away for a week and a couple days, but you couldn't help but feel nervous. This was, by far, not the longest mission but any mission was still too long in your eyes.
You had just talked to him the night before, and he had vehemently reassured you that everything was okay and he was on track to get home sometime in the afternoon.
You were riffling through your closet trying to find something to wear. You knew he didn't care what you wore, but that didn't mean you didn't want to look good.
"What do you think Stanley?" You were trying on different outfits in front of the mirror and had no one to show these outfits to except the dog.
You turned away from the mirror to look back at Stanley who was laying in his bed, his head resting on his legs, "Too colorful?" He tilted his head to the side.
You sighed turning back to the mirror, "You're right. I'm overthinking it. Just go with something simple." You nodded, "You've done it again, Stan."
You piled yourself and Simon into the car and drove to the base where everyone was landing. You waited in the designated area where you and Simon agreed you would always wait for him when you could.
You sat on the floor with Stanley, giving him all the love because you knew the moment he saw Simon, he would abandon you and charge straight for his other parent.
And you were right to think that. The moment the door opened and Stanley spotted Simon, he was jumping up and ran over to greet him, "It's good to see you, too, Stanley." Simon greeted the dog, bending down to give his head a pet and a scratch.
He set his bags down before his eyes finally landed on you. He carefully moved past Stanley before making his way over to you. You stood up and wrapped your arms around him, savoring the feeling of having him home and in your arms.
"Did you miss me, too?" You asked.
"Of course, love." He muttered into your hair, pressing a kiss to it, "Soap doesn't hold a candle to you when it comes to hugs." He joked, cracking a smile when you laughed.
With him in your arms, it was almost liked time stopped. You didn't know how long you stayed in that position but you honestly didn't care, "You ready to go?" Simon broke the silence.
"Not yet." You murmured.
"All right, we'll stay here, like this." He hummed.
And so you did.
iii. gift giving - "Give thoughtful gifts and gestures. Small things matter in a big way. Express gratitude when receiving a gift."
You were ready to give up on work. Everything was starting to blur together and the caffeine you were drinking could only help for so long.
You glanced up at the clock and groaned when you realize you had a couple more hours to go, "She's right over here." Your co-worker stopped next to your desk.
Your brows furrowed together but your questions were quickly answered when Simon stepped out from behind her, "What're you doing here?" You asked, getting out of your chair and wrapping him in a quick hug.
"You forgot your lunch at home, so figured I would drop it off." He held up a bag, which you assumed your lunch was in.
"You didn't have to bring it. I would've just ordered something."
"Wanted to see you, too." He responded, producing a bouquet of flowers from behind his back, which you had somehow missed.
"They're beautiful." You gushed, taking the bouquet in your arms, "Thank you."
"And I thought I could have lunch with you." He suggested, almost nervous.
"I don't have lunch for another 20 minutes."
"I can wait." He stated.
"All right, you can sit there." You pointed to a chair somewhere in the office. He sat there for 20 minutes and once those 20 minutes were up, he got up from the chair and walked over to your desk.
"Lunch time." He announced, pulling up a chair next to you and sitting down, giving you no choice but to stop working and give him all your attention.
He began unpacking the bag, and it was then you realized he was pulling out stuff you hadn't prepared the night before to bring. He had prepared food for you and brought it.
"Si, did you make this?"
He shrugged, "Figured if I was gonna bring you lunch, might as well be good." You made a face, "Not to say your sandwich isn't tasty, love." He quickly corrected himself, "Just sayin' you eat that sandwich every day. Why not try something new?"
You smiled so big your cheeks started to hurt, "Thank you, Si." You reached over and squeezed his hand, knowing he wasn't big on PDA.
He squeezed your hand back, "Eat, please." He scooped up some pasta and held it in front of your face.
"All right, all right." You grabbed the fork.
iv. quality time - "Create special moments together, take walks and do small things with your partner. Weekend getaways are huge."
Out of the blue, Simon surprised you with a mini getaway to a cabin in the woods, away from the rest of the world, something you mentioned to Simon a couple of times.
You spent your days doing whatever you wanted. Whenever you went on trips, you usually had a plan or at least an idea of what you wanted to do, but since Simon had planned this trip and had sprung it on you, he didn't really have anything planned, which was his plan.
He knew you were organized and always liked to plan ahead, so instead, he planned, for your trip, to do absolutely nothing.
After lunch that you and Simon had cooked together, something new that you were doing now that you knew he knew what he was doing in the kitchen, you decided to go for an afternoon walk.
When Stanley heard his leash being picked up, he was sprinting down the hall and jumped up on Simon, who just so happened to pick it up.
"Whoa." Simon stumbled back but quickly caught his footing. He bent down and clipped the leash to Simon's collar. Once you were both suited up, you finally stepped outside.
Stanley happily trotted in front of you and Simon, taking in everything. He was sniffing everything and even tried to eat a mini pinecone.
"Aye, no." Simon gently yanked Stanley back, who looked up at Simon like a scolded child.
You smiled, walking ahead of the two of them, completely oblivious to the picture Simon snapped of you. He caught up with you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, "Thank you for this trip." You hummed happily, looking up at him.
"You seemed like you needed it." He shrugged.
"Still, this was so out of left field, I didn't even see it coming."
"That was sort of the point, love." He pointed out.
You rolled your eyes, "Thank you, Si."
"You're welcome, love."
v. words of affirmation - "Send an unexpected note, text, or card. Genuinely encourage, and often."
When you woke up, Simon was already gone, off to work out. You selfishly lay in bed for a few more seconds, debating if you should cancel your plans for the day and just stay there.
You eventually pulled yourself out of bed and made your way into the bathroom. As you reached for your toothbrush, you found a post-it sitting on the front of the cup holding your toothbrush.
You smiled to yourself when you saw Simon's chicken scratch messily written on the note.
"Hope you have the best day. Give Stanley an extra kiss from me." - S
You looked down at your dog Stanley who stood guard at your side. The funny part was when you first adopted him, Simon wasn't too excited about it, but he often found it hard to say "no" to you.
Even so, it took Simon a while to finally accept Stanley. But they quickly became best friends and you would often have to fight for your spot in bed.
You gave Stanley a few extra kisses before moving on with your morning routine. By the time you got to the kitchen, you were hungry, so when you saw the donut box sitting on the counter, you dug right into it.
You spotted the note when you were halfway through your donut. You reached for it and it brought another smile to your face.
"Something sweet for my sweet." - S
That one made you laugh.
-
Throughout the day, Simon would send you texts. They were nothing big, but they were from Simon, and they were new. It was a nice surprise.
"Hope lunch is good. Don't forget to drink water." - S
"Me and Stanley miss you" - S
"Get home safe." - S
As you drove home, you couldn't help but smile. You don't know what caused Simon to start writing you sweet notes and texts, but you weren't complaining.
When you got home, you were happy to finally spend time with your little family. Just you, Simon, and Stanley. You spent the night catching up on episodes of Hell's Kitchen, and no matter how much he denied it, Simon did like the show.
You turned the bathroom light off and were very much ready to crawl into bed and crash. But right as you were about to climb in, you saw another post-it sitting on your pillow.
Your heart fluttered as you read it, then reread, then reread it again.
"I love you." - S
-
The next morning, Simon woke up alone. You had mentioned the night before that you had to leave earlier than normal the next day to finish up some work.
Stanley laid next to him, taking advantage of you not being in the bed. He smiled, carefully petting Stanley's head and then climbing out of bed.
He flicked on the bathroom light and got ready to burhs his teeth. He stopped when he saw a post-it sticking to the front of the glass. He picked it up and read it, then reread it, then reread it again.
"I love you, too." - Y/I
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tagging @2manytabsopen cause you're slay <3
add yourself to my taglist!
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley imagines#simon ghost riley fic#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley imagine#simon riley imagines#simon riley fic#simon riley#ghost imagine#ghost imagines#ghost fic#ghost#cod#cod ghost#call of duty imagine
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I posted 369 times in 2022
That's 369 more posts than 2021!
163 posts created (44%)
206 posts reblogged (56%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@clumpofglitter
@prettyeyesnof4ce
@sleepyconfusedpotato
@jakegooglyeyes
@funnytwittertweets
I tagged 195 of my posts in 2022
Only 47% of my posts had no tags
#bingoboingobongo.com - 192 posts
#ghost cod - 33 posts
#ghost x reader - 31 posts
#adrian chase x reader - 25 posts
#ghost - 24 posts
#ghost fluff - 24 posts
#call of duty - 24 posts
#adrian chase imagine - 23 posts
#adrian chase fluff - 21 posts
#modern warfare 2 - 19 posts
Longest Tag: 135 characters
#people in the comments thinking it’s cute that they can’t tell if a screenplay is good or not and can’t pick up on obvious metaphors 😭
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
omg i am in love with your writing ab ghost... would you ever do a fluff ab clingy drunk ghost where he starts off insisting that he can't get drunk and then he just escalates to being all over you ghejirb
alright so honestly i don't see ghost as being the kind of guy to drink enough to get him drunk when he's by himself, but when he's with soap? yeah, completely different story. it's not that he's more comfortable around soap or anything, it's just that he gets a rise out of beating soap in competitions.
here's how i see it. you guys have just completed a long ass mission, weeks of stress and labor are finally over so of course, you guys get drinks to celebrate. now i see soap as the kind of drunk who only wants to get more drunk, so once he's had a few drinks he starts going around trying to challenge everyone else to drinking competitions. pretty much everyone says no because the thing about soap is that he's so competitive he'll drink until he drops dead. you say no bc u don't feel like blacking out and because it's ur turn to be designated driver (lord knows that even sober ghost drives like he's drunk), so soap goes to the only person who 1. is more competitive than him and 2. has a shot at out drinking him: ghost.
now, years of working with soap have enlightened ghost to his usual idiocy, so ghost is quick to shut him down, telling him that he "would be fighting a losing battle."
but tipsy soap is persistent as hell, so he keeps bugging and bugging and bugging him. and at this point, ghost is pretty tired and is just waiting to go home, so to get soap to shut up he agrees. and of course, drinking ensues.
the first few rounds are easy, ghost doesn't even flinch as he downs the drinks like they're water. at this point, soap is starting to get intimidated, so he demands that ghost have a few extra drinks to get them on even ground, considering soap was already tipsy when they started. you and the rest of the team watch with awe (and horror) as ghost swallows down the drinks like they're nothing, and if you're being honest, you're really excited to see how this turns out. i mean, for one, when ghost drinks he flips up the bottom of his balaclava, exposing his chin and his lips. it's always exciting to watch ghost take off his mask, even if it's just part of his face, and secondly, the way he shoots you a glance as he drinks, his eyes dark and enticing, his adam's apple bobbing with each swallow, the smallest drop of lost alcohol that drips down his chin -- which he's quick to wipe away -- it sends a swarm of butterflies into your stomach. plus, you've never actually seen ghost drink this much, usually the most he'll have is a couple of beers or a few glasses of bourbon, so you're curious to see just how much of a tolerance he has.
the answer? a crazy high one. the two are at it for what feels like hours, and there's no clear effect on ghost. meanwhile, soap can barely walk straight and is on the verge of puking at any given moment. at this point everyone is trying to get soap to give up. price tried telling soap that there was no shame in tapping out, and when that failed, he tried threatening soap with extra chores. of course this does nothing, and soap only tells price to "fuck off" because he's not his dad. at one point, gaz tried physically pulling soap away, to which soap promptly tried (and failed) to hit him in the face. even you tried to get soap to stop, although you'll admit you didn't try very hard, like i said, you're very excited to see how this plays out.
after a certain point, soap's pretty much blackout drunk. he's barely hanging on but his pride won't let him let go, much to the annoyance of ghost and the others. and so, in a final finishing move, ghost asks the bartender for a bottle of whiskey, which -- to soap's despair and the rest of the team's horror -- he finishes in seconds.
for a while, everyone is silent, and then soap just busts into tears. he knows it's over, ghost knows it's over, everyone else knows it's over. i mean, you guys just watched ghost down the equivalent of sixteen shots of whiskey like it was nothing. by now, you're starting to wonder if you need to get 911 on speed dial because there's no way ghost doesn't die from alcohol poisoning.
but to your disbelief, ghost's fine. or so you thought. after his defeat of soap, ghost made his way over to your seat for a chat. not that you were complaining, you were curious to see just how incomprehensible ghost's speech would be, but to your surprise he's speaking great. his speech is clear and you suspect the alcohol's loosened him up a little, because he's talking and cracking jokes a lot more. if you're being honest, you really like this new, laid-back ghost who's not so worried about maintaining his stony exterior; this new ghost that's wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into him, even though he never would have showed that kind of public affection to you in front of the team when he was sober. and it's not that he doesn't like you or he isn't proud of you, it's the complete opposite. he's absolutely bursting with pride that you decided to date him, but he's just always been wary about displaying his love for you in public. after all, you never know what kind of shady people are lurking around in bars, looking for ways to hurt him, or even worse, you.
but when his brain is muddled with alcohol, all that paranoia goes away and ghost is more than happy to be all over you. first it's just one hand around your waist, but then when you get up to order another iced water for soap he's tugging at your shirt and holding your wrists so you can't leave him, and when you tell him that you'll be back in less than a minute, he's standing up and chasing after you and wrapping his arms around you in a hug as you talk to the bartender. he's burying his face in the crook of your neck and telling you it's because all the alcohol is giving him a headache when really he just wants to smell you; he's running his hands up and down your legs when the rest of the team is looking the other direction; he's trying to mouth at your neck through his balaclava and whining when it doesn't work, causing you to grin and roll your eyes at him as you lift his mask just above his lips to help him. he's trying to whisper sweet nothings against your ear but they don't make sense because the way you smell is so intoxicating he feels like he's getting drunk all over again, but this time he's drunk on you.
and after a while, ghost finally passes out. he's essentially laying on top of you, his head resting on your chest as his back rises and falls with every breath. his arms are wrapped around you, essentially caging you into your seat and he's so heavy you need to call price over to help you pull him off so you can drive everyone home. and when you all arrive back at the base, you slowly nudge ghost awake, taking special note at the way his eyes flutter open slowly. and then he immediately closes his eyes again, digging his head into your chest because this time he actually does have a headache, and so it's up to you to bring him to his room. and the entire time he never ever lets go of his bear hug on you, leaving you to have to awkwardly waddle all the way to his room with him essentially draped over you. and then when he falls onto the bed he drags you down with him, and you try to pull away just for a second so you can change and wash your face, but ghost's got an iron grip on you and so you're stuck in his arms, not that you mind.
626 notes - Posted November 29, 2022
#4
Hii! Could U maybe write something with Fez X Reader! Like maybe they were Childhood Best Friends but got together at like 15 or something and they live together and stuff. The reader is a mother figure to ash and stuff- yeah idk but yk what I mean… I loved Romeo and Juliet btw. Thank u sm <33
two clear plastic umbrellas
Pairing: Fezco (Euphoria) x Reader
Type: Fluff
Summary: Fezco reminisces about his history with her, and everything their relationship means to him.
Word Count: 3.9k
Warnings: feminine pronouns used (she/her), brief angst (it gets resolved)
A/N: hii, honestly i'm lowkey proud of this piece, i'm a bit worried it goes on too many tangents but i'm hoping it cleaned up ok, also i have no idea how it got to be almost 4k words that is beyond me. anyways, thanks for reading, i hope you enjoy, and likes/reblogs and constructive criticism are always appreciated :)
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766 notes - Posted March 2, 2022
#3
the right thing to do
Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley (Call of Duty) x Reader
Type: Fluff
Summary: You’ve become a distraction to Ghost, and so he’s started keeping his distance for the sake of the team. But when a mission goes awry, he finds himself stuck with you.
Word Count: 7.3k
Warnings: explicit language, mentions of/allusions to sex, brief mention of dacryphilia, brief mention of blowjobs, canon-typical violence, mentions of injury, forced proximity, pining
A/N: hiii, ngl i’m actually really proud of this fic, like deadass this shit had me giggling and kicking my feet in the middle of starbucks. anyways i was thinking of including smut in this but changed my mind bc that shit’s hard to write so it’s pretty pg-13. i plan on making this a bit of a series (with smut hopefully) so while this chapter is gender neutral now (i think, don’t quote me tho) in the future the reader will be written as a girl. as always, likes/reblogs and constructive criticism are always appreciated, enjoy :)
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1,331 notes - Posted November 22, 2022
#2
something to be grateful for
Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley (Call of Duty) x Reader
Type: Smut (minors dni), fluff
Summary: Ghost’s never celebrated Thanksgiving before. For one, he’s not even American, and two, he never had anything to be thankful for. But this year? This year he’s thankful for you.
Word Count: 3.9k
Warnings: use of feminine body parts, explicit language, fingering, choking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), guided masturbation (?)
A/N: welp. idek what to say. this started out as a fluffy thanksgiving drabble and now it’s this. is it good? idk. is it bad? idk. is it accurate? idk. my experience is in the negatives so this is just an amalgamation of all the knowledge i have gained from reading/reddit threads. happy thanksgiving to all who celebrate, and as always, likes/reblogs and constructive criticism as always appreciated, enjoy :)
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1,517 notes - Posted November 24, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
complex simplicity
Pairing: Adrian Chase (Peacemaker) x Reader
Type: Fluff
Summary: Adrian has to share a room with her, and he’s not sure how he feels about that.
Word Count: 5.6k
Warnings: feminine pronouns used (she/her), mild spoilers, brief mention of violence, brief suggestiveness, forced proximity (no smut), closed off/emotionally distant reader
A/N: hiii, lordy i can’t believe i’m finally done with this fic. this is my first adrian chase fic so forgive me if it’s not the best. i’m pretty proud of it and I'm open to making a part 2 if y'all want me to. thanks for reading, i hope you enjoy, and likes/reblogs and constructive criticism are always appreciated :)
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part ii
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1,897 notes - Posted March 18, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#bingoboingobongo.com
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Riding On
Ch21: Her Hooves Set The Beat, My Heart Sang The Song
Summary: There’s a feel good factor at the Gallagher-Adler’s as Alex hits another milestone, but their happy little bubble his shattered with some bad news at the stables, and Fliss is forced to say a heart-breaking goodbye…
Warnings: Bad language, 18+, animal death.
Pairing: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher
A/N: So, for those of you who don’t know, Heidi was actually real. She was my beloved horse of a lifetime who I lost in July 2018 to complications associated with old age. At 28 I she had a good life, and for the 20 years I had her she gave me everything. Writing this brought back a lot of memories and was quite therapeutic in a way, but if anyone wants to skip over it for fear of being triggered, I won’t be offended.
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 20
April 2020
“Go away!” Mary laughed, pushing Fliss’ arm as she tried to peek over at what she was writing on the piece of card upon which she’d been designing the Wedding Invitations. “You can see when I’m done!”
Fliss chuckled and backed away, hands raised, palms up.
“Okay, okay.��� She walked backwards a few steps before she turned and her eyes fell on Alex who was in his pack and play loudly banging some coloured blocks together. He looked up at her and gave a huge smile before he shuffled a little to the edge of his pen and reached up, curling his hands onto the sides. As Fliss watched, he tried to pull himself up into a standing position but only got so far before he landed on his butt, and waved his arms and legs shouting something in, what Frank called Bean-Babble. Fliss grinned and moved to pick him up.
“Not quite mastered that yet have you, baby?” She smiled, kissing his cheek.
Alex let out another loud squeal of contentment as he perched on her hip and she made her way over to the kitchen area. There, she settled him in his high chair and headed into the fridge to grab him an apple. Since he had started eating solids it had fast become apparent that he was particularly partial to the fruit, something Frank directly attributed to the fact that Fliss had eaten so many of them when she was pregnant thanks to her craving. Fliss carefully chopped the fruit into large pieces before she placed them down on the tray of his chair, kissing his soft hair again as Alex grabbed a slice in his hand and promptly jabbed it in his mouth, making appreciative noises.
Happy that he was content, Fliss then turned her attention to their dinner. She soon had the base of the cream and garlic sauce for the seafood linguini simmering nicely in the pan so she then turned her attention to shelling and de-veining the fresh, king prawns Frank had brought home the night before, along with chopping up the squid and cleaning the mussels before she turned her head and looked over to the table across the large family room.
“Mary, do you want mussels in yours?”
“No, they taste like snot.” Came the simple response.
“You know what snot tastes like?” Fliss pulled a face. “Gross.”
Mary didn’t reply, her hand was busy scribbling on the paper. Fliss shrugged and placed some of the sauce into a separate pan before she dropped some of the seafood through to cook, before pulling a cod and mash potato puree out for Alex for his dinner. Whilst that was in the microwave, she tossed Mary’s sauce through some of the pasta, before sprinkling over a little bit of parmesan and setting it down on the breakfast bar.
“Mary, dinner.”
Mary hopped down from the table and made her way over to the counter. With a thanks to Fliss she tucked in as Fliss smiled and sat next to her, feeding Alex.
“What time is Dad home?” Mary asked.
“I’m actually expecting him any time now.” Fliss glanced at the clock. “He has no meetings tonight so he shouldn’t be too long. Did you want him for something? I can call him.”
“No, I was just curious.” Mary swallowed her mouthful of food. “Do you mind if I don’t ride tonight?”
“No, of course not.” Fliss gave Alex another spoonful of his dinner before she turned to Mary. “Is everything ok, Stack? It’s not like you to pass up an opportunity to ride.”
“Well, I thought I could spend some time with Frank.” She shrugged. “I haven’t seen him properly this week.”
“I’m sure he’d appreciate that.” Fliss smiled, giving Alex more food.
“Just figured if you’re at the stables and Alex is in bed, it’ll just be the two of us. No offense.”
“None taken.” Fliss chuckled, as Mary grinned and continued to eat. And she meant it. Over the past two weeks or so, Frank and Alan’s son had decided to expand a little and as such had been meeting with potential new suppliers, often working until later in the night, something Fliss knew was hard on him because it meant his time with the kids had really been limited to a quick hour over breakfast, the morning school and crèche drop offs and weekends. Fliss had assured him that the kids were fine, she was fine, and reminded him that he was doing this for the family, for their future but it didn’t stop him feeling guilty.
It was kind of ironic, when she thought about it. As she’d been expecting to feel the same guilt after going back to work full time but as she was self-employed, she’d been able to work her time-table quite well around the kids. She’d taken on another stable hand to help with the day to day chores leaving her free to teach more freelance in the area and school horses when they came to her for training. Joanne was now taking the group lessons completely, having passed her final teaching exams earlier that year, and Alex had settled really well into his day care, going two days a week to the centre round the corner from Mary’s school which had come recommended by Bonnie’s sister. The other two days a week Verity (and nine times outta ten Bill) came look after him or take him out, meaning on those days Fliss worked later- scheduling in evening lessons for clients as Verity would sort the kids dinner before Frank got home, and then on Friday, Fliss did her paperwork so Alex stayed with her . It was busy, and often required military planning as to who was picking which child up and when, but they worked it well, and Fliss had been very surprised at how easily they had picked it all up.
They continued chatting, and just as Mary had polished off her desert, Thor gave a little woof and padded to the back door as it opened and they heard Frank giving his usual jokey greeting.
“The boss is home.”
“Yeah I know, she made dinner.” Mary shot back and Fliss laughed, giving her a hi-five.
Frank walked into the main room and smiled at them both, giving Fliss a quick kiss before he ruffled Mary’s hair as she shoved him away, rolling her eyes, jumping off the stool to escape him.
“Good day?” He asked, and Fliss nodded.
“Yeah, not bad. You?”
“Busy, but productive. We got the final Price Lists negotiated so…” he trailed off, nodding to Alex who was smiling at him. “Looks like he enjoyed dinner.”
“So did Mary.” Fliss mused, nodding to the empty place on the side. “She ate a full dish of linguini and a massive piece of Mum’s chocolate cake. Think she’s going through another growth spurt.”
“Great, more clothes to buy.”
Fliss chuckled as she fed Alex the last of his peach and apple puree before she reached for a baby wipe and scrubbed his face and hands clean, much to the baby’s annoyance. She stood up to clear away his dish, leaving the spoon in Alex’s hand as he was busy banging it against the tray of his chair. Frank sat down on the stool she’d vacated, kissing Alex’s head. .
“Hey, Pal. Meet any hot girls today at crèche?” He asked. Alex shrieked in response, banging the spoon harder and Frank nodded. “Oh really? Well, you play it cool and she’ll be putty in your hands.”
“Like I was in yours?” Fliss asked, turning to face him and Frank grinned as he settled on the stool.
“Think we both know it was the other way round.”
“Don’t you forget it.” She smirked a little.
“Like I’d have a chance.” Frank winked at her and Fliss smiled.
“Do you want your dinner now or-“
“Oh, can I show you the invitation first?” Mary suddenly piped up from across the room and Fliss nodded.
“Sure.”
She jumped off the table at the chair and approached them, placing the card on the breakfast bar in front of Frank. Fliss stood behind Frank, her hands sliding round his shoulders as she kissed his cheek, both of them glancing down at the design Mary had come up with.
The front was a simple square piece of card. Across the top Mary had cut letters out of a magazine to spell out the words “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED” and underneath it she’d stuck a copy of a photo of the four of them which had clearly been taken at Bill and Verity’s a few weeks ago. Mary and Alex were both looking at the camera, whereas Frank and Fliss were both laughing as they looked at each other as Frank held Alex, the baby’s back to his chest, supporting under his butt with one arm, the other held across his front.
“Where did you get that?” Frank asked, grinning as he looked at it.
“Poppa Bill.” Mary looked at him. “He said it was like the five thousandth attempt at trying to get us all to look at the camera.”
“That was Frank’s fault.” Fliss laughed, “He kept nipping my ass.”
Frank shrugged, before Fliss spotted one of his arms snaking backwards, blatantly intending on doing the same and she slapped his hand, making him give a dirty chuckle as he pulled it away.
“Turn it over!” Mary urged. Frank obliged and they both smiled instantly at the back. It was written in Mary’s untidy writing, in bright multi-coloured felt tip.
“Oh Mary, this is just what I wanted!” Fliss grinned. “For it to look bright and unique.”
“You haven’t read it yet.” She looked up at Fliss rolling her eyes, but before she could comment Frank started to laugh as he had and his chuckles continued as Fliss read the words out-loud.
“Mary and Alex Adler would like to invite you to their Mom and Dad’s wedding.” Fliss took a deep breath at the word, looking at Mary who gave her a small smile. Whilst Mary had referred to Fliss when talking to other people as her mom, she’d never actually used the word directly to Fliss yet. But, now wasn’t the time to dig into that. Fliss cleared her throat and read on “Frank and Fliss met at the stables. Frank was smitten, Fliss was too. But they were too dumb to admit it straight away. And then Frank took her sailing (not driving) on a speedboat. They kissed, made a baby and now it’s time for a party. (And a wedding too).”
Fliss burst out laughing, as Frank tried to gain enough control to read the final bit at the bottom, which was situated underneath the details of time and venues, before it went on to state their address.
“RSVP to Mary (not Alex, because he can’t read!)” He managed to wheeze out, wiping at his eyes. “Oh, Stack, you’re killing me.”
“You like it?” She grinned and Frank nodded.
“Mary.” Fliss’ laughter died down as she took a deep breath. “It’s absolutely perfect!”
Once they had finished laughing at Mary’s Invitation Prototype, Fliss and Frank ate dinner together, Mary chatting away to the pair of them as she sat at the end of the breakfast bar, sipping a milkshake, informing them both about her day, before Frank took Alex to get him bathed and changed into his pyjamas.
“This bath is supposed to be for you.” Frank grumbled as Alex enthusiastically splashed at the water with his little hands, those little babbling noises emitting from his mouth as he glanced up at Frank with his big blue eyes, making another sound that could almost have been interpreted as a question. Which, maybe it was. “You heard me.” Frank looked at him. Alex studied his dad for a second before continuing with his splashing, laughing loudly as he tossed a plastic boat to the end of the tub before he stretched towards it, then realising he couldn’t reach the toy, promptly burst into tears.
“Seriously, Pal?” Frank rolled his eyes, stretching his right hand over to retrieve the precious item. As soon as he passed it back, the over the top tears stopped and Frank raised an eyebrow. “If you wanted it so badly why did you throw it away in the first place?”
Alex responded with another noise, this one a gurgle and Frank nodded.
“Okay, understood.”
At that Alex looked at him, cocking his head to one side, making another puzzled noise and tossed the boat this time over the side of the bath, a grin spreading across his face as he studied his dad. Frank arched an eyebrow. “You know, just because I love you doesn’t mean I sign up for this whole throw and fetch shit you got going on.” He picked up the toy and tossed it back into the water. “That’s Thor’s job.”
“You know, if his first word comes out a swear, you’re in deep trouble.” Fliss arched an eyebrow as Frank turned his head over his shoulder to look at her as she stood in the bathroom doorway. At the sight of his Mumma, Alex gave a huge grin and let out another gabble of noises.
“There are worst things it could be.” Frank shrugged, looking back at him.
“Like what?”
“Trump.” Frank deadpanned and Fliss let out a chuckle as once more the plastic boat came out of the tub onto the floor.
“Right, I think play-time is done pal.” Frank looked at Alex, who glanced up at him as he made sure to keep one hand behind his son’s back whilst reaching for his little hooded towel, which was patterned with tiny little ducks. “Come on.” No sooner had he lifted Alex out of the tub, the eight month old started to protest, dramatically, screams once more hitting Frank’s ears. “Oh, hush…” Frank chuckled as he lay him down on the towel before wrapping him in it and picking him up, rising to a stand and gently jiggling the now hysterical baby up and down.
“Anyone would think we’re tryin’a kill him, not simply dry him off after he’s spent fifteen minutes in the bath.” Frank rolled his eyes, an amused expression on his face at Alex’s dramatics.
“Well, he’s a right little water baby, aint you Bean?” Fliss leaned over to kiss Alex’s head as his cries suddenly died down as he had become instantly distracted with the buttons on Frank’s shirt. He made a little “oooh” of approval, his tiny fingers reaching to the ones near the collar. “Ha, look at that, he’s easily distracted, just like his daddy.”
“Yeah, well, I won’t deny, I quite like undoing your buttons.” Frank teased, dropping a kiss to her mouth. “Shall I dress him or do you wanna do it?”
Fliss took a deep breath, of course she wanted to dress him, she wanted to do everything for her baby, but she also knew that Frank had been out of the house early every morning and this was the first evening since Monday he’d made it home before bath time. With a smile she shook her head. “It's okay, you can do it. I’ll clean up in here.”
“Leave it, I’ll do it later.”
“It won’t take me five minutes. Then once I’m done and he’s settled, I’ll head over to the yard so I can ride and finish off. I won’t be too long, just an hour or so.”
“Then we got some us time?” Frank asked, almost pleaded and she smiled.
“Then we got some us time.”
“Perfect.” Frank gave her a soft smile before he kissed her again and carried Alex into the nursery. Before long he’d managed to wrestle a very wriggly baby into a clean diaper, a fresh romper suit and headed downstairs. Mary was now sat on the couch, her eyes glued to something on the TV as Fliss was warming Alex’s bottle up.
“You going with Fliss, Stack?”
No answer. With a raised brow he turned to look at Fliss who was biting her lip, trying not to laugh as he switched his attention back to Mary.
“Earth to Mary.”
With a groan she looked at him. “What?”
“Less of the attitude.” Frank looked at her. “I asked if you were going to ride?”
“Oh, erm…” She hesitated and Fliss chuckled.
“She wants to stay here and spend some time with you.” She smiled as Frank looked at her, then to Mary.
“Wow, me over Monty, I’m flattered.” He smirked. Mary rolled her eyes.
“Don’t get used to it, it’s only because I’ve not seen you properly this week to hang out.”
Frank snorted before he sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. It won’t be forever.”
“It’s fine.” Mary shrugged, her eyes back on the TV. “Not like I’m neglected, is it?”
“Good to know you feel that way.” Frank nodded seriously, before he caught Fliss’ eye and she gave him a wink.
He placed Alex down on the play mat in front of the TV and within seconds the baby had flipped himself over and pushed up onto his hands, rocking back a little onto his knees, emitting more excited noises.
“Mary, I’m just gonna grab a drink.” Frank looked at the Alex, before he turned to Mary. “Keep your eye on your brother will you?”
“Sure.” She shrugged, her attention now completely on the baby as she dropped onto the floor and shuffled over to him, talking to him as she did so.
Frank watched for a moment, giving a silent groan as Alex flopped gently down face first onto the mat.
“Oopsie!” Mary grinned, and Frank braced himself for the dramatic screams, but they never came as this time, Alex managed to right himself and roll back over onto his back, giving Mary an excited grin and a loud shriek as Mary waggled one of the toys from the baby gym over the top of him.
Satisfied they were okay, Frank headed into the kitchen where Fliss was busy finishing off the lunches for the next morning, dropping a kiss to her cheek as he reached into the fridge, grabbing a beer.
“You wanna do bedtime as you’ve not had chance this week?” Fliss asked, nodding to Alex’s bottle where it stood in the jug of boiling water.
“He’s my son, course I wanna.” Frank frowned as he looked at her, flipping the top off his beer. “You know, it’s not like I’ve been working late on purpose, Fliss.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Fliss narrowed her eyes at him as he took a long pull of his drink. “And you know it. So less of the shitty tone, thank you!”
“Sorry, Honey.” Frank sighed, dropping a kiss to her lips. “Just, well, I didn’t think Mary would have bothered as much as she had.”
“She’s fine.” Fliss shook her head. “And she isn’t bothered as such, she just wants to get you to herself for a little while. I mean, let’s face it, how often does she get chance to do that now?”
“True.” Frank nodded. “Maybe I should take her out on Saturday somewhere, just the two of us. Would you mind?”
“No, course not.” She shook her head. “I can take Alex down to the beach with Bonnie. You can always join us later on.”
“Yeah.” Frank nodded. “Sounds good.”
“And tonight, why don’t you spend a bit of time in the pool before she showers?” Fliss suggested, as she slid her hands up round his neck. “Then maybe when I get back, me and you could-“
But whatever filthy water-based shenanigans she was about to suggest, Frank never found out, as at that moment Mary let out a yell.
“Oh my God! Alex is crawling, quick!”
In a flash the parents rushed over to where Mary was sat at one side of the play-mat, waving Alex’s huge stuffed elephant at him, as he unsteadily made his way over to her, one hand and knee moving at a time.
“Frank, quick!” Fliss nudged him as she dropped to her knees behind Alex, her hands settling either side of his little body, getting ready to catch him if she needed to.
“I got it…” Frank muttered, as he crouched next to Mary, his phone out. “Alex, buddy, you reckon you can make it all this way to Daddy, huh?”
Another few little movements later, Fliss’ sharp eyes saw the baby’s arms beginning to wobble and, just as they gave way she grabbed him and pulled him backwards, swinging him up and pressing her to his chest, smothering his face in kisses.
“My clever little man!” She beamed as Alex laughed, grabbing at her hair as she kissed him. “Oh my baby, you’re getting so big!”
Alex clearly decided that his crawling efforts were done for the day as he made no attempt try again as Fliss held him in position on the mat. With a shrug, she gently placed him on his back where he began to grab once more at the toys hanging over him.
“Obviously had enough excitement for one night.” Frank chuckled as he reached over and tickled the baby’s belly, drawing a gaggle of laughter from him.
“I’m so glad we all got to see it.” Fliss beamed round at them both and Mary nodded enthusiastically. “Right…” She rose to her feet. “I’m going to go ride and finish off. I’ll be back in an hour, hour and a half.”
Once she was gone, Frank turned to Mary. “Fancy playing in the pool for a bit before bed?”
“Errr, yeah!”
“Okay, well give me half an hour or so to get him down and then we’ll head out. I wanna see if you can master a back flip this time instead of a front one.”
***** Alex went down, as usual, with minimum fuss and once Frank was happy he was settled he changed into his swim shorts and headed downstairs. Grabbing the baby monitor screen from the side in the kitchen, he and Mary headed out to the pool, Mary wasting no time in cannon-balling straight in. Not one to shy down from a challenge, when Mary told him to beat her splash, he did just that. The two of them enjoyed a fun filled forty minutes or so, racing one another (Frank let Mary win a few, but not all) play fighting, diving and generally larking around as the sun dipped behind the eye-line of the fence and the lights in the pool kicked in, reflecting against the bright blue tiles which lined it.
Frank climbed out of the pool to check the time on his phone, and realising it was now almost eight, he told Mary it was time to get out. She protested, but he shot her a no-nonsense stare and with a loud groan about how unfair life was, she climbed out and Frank wrapped her in a towel before giving her a drink of water and then packing her off upstairs for a shower, promising her she could read in bed before lights off at nine.
He showered himself, pulling on a pair of sweats and a well-worn light blue T-Shirt, and by the time he had finished and headed across the landing to tuck Mary in, she was already out for the count. With a smile, he placed her book down on her night stand, gently kissed her head and then flicked off the lamp before he moved to the next room to check on Alex. He was also fast asleep.
He headed back downstairs, grabbed another beer and settled in front of the TV, giving a snort as he glanced at the time. It was now ten past nine. So much for Fliss being just an hour. No doubt she’d ended up chatting to one of the clients about something, as usual, which had delayed her locking up. Firing her a good humoured, sarcastic text about how he should grow a mane, tail and two extra legs so he could get a look in, he tossed the phone down onto the coffee table, frowning as it instantly began to light up. It was Fliss.
“Hey, Honey, I was only joking, take as-“
“Frank, there’s something wrong with Heidi.” She cut him off, her voice cracking. “She’s got colic and it’s bad. I called the Vet and he’s on his way but she won’t get up. I can’t get her on her feet to try and walk her round she’s just…”
Frank took a deep breath, his stomach falling as he digested her words. He wasn’t clued up on a lot of horse lingo or issues, but he knew colic was fatal to some horses, depending on the severity. And even without the fact that Fliss was clearly concerned, he knew that with Heidi being as old as she was this wasn’t good.
“How long is the Vet going to be?” he asked.
“They said about half an hour, he’s on his way but as it’s night it’s an emergency call so he’s coming from home.” She took a deep breath. “Frank, I’m gonna lose her.”
“Look, you don’t know that for sure.” He placated her gently as he stood up from the sofa. “Listen, let me grab the kids and we’ll come over.”
“Frank, they’re sleeping.” She began to protest, “And Mary will be so upset to see Heidi like this, and if the vet has to put her to sleep then…”
“Then she’ll be mad as hell she didn’t get to say goodbye.” Frank reasoned as he made his way into the hallway. “I don’t want you over there on your own, sweetheart. Not if…”
There was a pause. “I don’t want to do it on my own either.” She whispered and he took a deep breath as he headed up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time.
“And you don’t hafta.” He replied. “Give me five minutes. Do you need anything else?”
“No, I got everything here.”
“Okay.” He nodded, pausing outside Mary’s bedroom. “We’ll be with you in five.”
She sniffed. “Thank you.”
Frank stuck his phone in the pocket of his sweats before he opened Mary’s door and headed over to her bed. Standing on the bottom rung of the ladder of the cabin he gently leaned over. She was led, facing away from him, face snuggled into her pillow as Fred lay by her side. He raised his head questioningly at Frank as he softly brushed Mary’s hair off her cheek, pressing a kiss to her face.
“Stack, hey…come on, wake up.” Mary gave a groan as she pulled her covers up further, her eyes still closed. Frank spoke a little louder, his hand softly shaking her shoulder. “Mary, sweetheart, I need you to wake up, come on.”
She stirred a little, before she rolled onto her back, blinking sleepily at him before she frowned.
“Frank, it’s still dark!” She glared at him and he bit back the smirk at the fact she’d reverted to Frank, not Dad. Something she always did when she felt he was being a jerk.
“I know you haven’t been asleep long, but Fliss is at the yard and we need to go be with her. Heidi isn’t well, the vet is on his way.”
At that she sat up, all tiredness evaporating from her system. “What’s wrong with her?”
“It’s colic, Sweetie.” Frank answered gently. “But Fliss is on her own, so I need you to get dressed whilst I grab Alex, okay?”
“Okay.” She nodded, and Frank smiled softly before he turned and headed over to the nursery which was quiet bar the soft sounds of Alex’s little baby snores. In the stream of light that illuminated the room from the landing, he could see his son sleeping, halfway down the crib, head tilted to the side, the pair of them meticulous in the way they set him down at night. He crossed the room and gently picked Alex up out of the crib, the baby giving a little sigh as he did so but other-wise remaining asleep. He grabbed a little fleece blanket and as he made his way back out into the hallway, Mary appeared in her jeans and a red t-shirt.
“Why don’t you bring your laptop or something, just in case we’re there for a while and you get bored?” Frank asked. “You can sit in the office with Alex.”
“It’s downstairs.” She answered. “I’ll go grab it.”
They headed down stairs and Frank settled Alex in his stroller which was by the kitchen door as Mary grabbed her stuff. Frank slipped his feet into his sneakers as Mary stuffed on her boots and he wandered into the laundry room and found a warm top for them each.
“Frank it’s like almost summer outside.” Mary looked at him, “It’s hot!”
“I’m well aware of the climate, thanks.” He looked at her, stashing the hooded tops and cardigan on the underneath space of the stroller, before he made sure that Alex’s little blanket was set around his legs. “But it might get a little breezy if we’re there later.”
Truth be told he had no idea why he was taking them, other than the fact it felt like something he should do even though it was still in the low 70s at night. He was a little lost, this was something he’d never dealt with before, and there was a sick feeling in his stomach that it wasn’t going to end well. But, there was no point worrying about it until they knew what they were dealing with. He had to be strong, be calm. Taking a deep breath he looked at Mary and nodded. “Get the door, Stack.”
By the time they had reached the Yard, Fliss had managed to coax Heidi to her feet. As Frank and Mary walked round the side of the barn Fliss was heading to the paddock, Heidi trudging behind her.
“Hey.” Frank looked at her, and she gave him a tight smile, not stopping.
“I’m sorry, but if I stop she’ll…” She began to explain but Frank waved her away.
“Do what you gotta do.” He watched as she cast a look over her shoulder. “I’ll settle these two in the office and then I’ll be out.”
After doing just that, instructing Mary to keep an eye on Alex and promising her he would come get her once they knew what was going on, he wandered back to the paddock and without a word simply took Fliss' hand in his as she continued walking Heidi. Frank could hear the horse was making grunting noises and every so often tried to stop and kick at her stomach, but Fliss kept walking, her face set. She didn’t say much, making a little small talk, but Frank simply stayed by her side as every so often they changed direction.
“Where the hell is this vet?” Fliss gave an exasperated sigh and looked around, almost as if she expected to see him.
“It’s not been that long yet, Sweetheart.” Frank soothed her.
“Well it feels like forever.”
Frank kissed her head as they continued walking and about five minutes later a dark blue Hyundai pulled up the drive and Fliss let out a sigh of relief as she saw it was Scott, their usual vet and not some random on-call one. She led Heidi onto the main area of the yard, the horse rapidly becoming even more agitated. Fliss gently ran her hand down her neck, as she turned to Scott and gave him a quick low down and he nodded, patting Heidi.
“Okay old girl, let’s see what’s going on…” Scott hooked the stethoscope into his ears and moved to listen to her belly, taking a deep breath as he looked at Fliss. “Yeah, there’s absolutely no gut noise at all. It’s definitely colic, but you know that already…” he unhooked the ear pieces, leaving the item hanging around his neck before he moved to her head and examined her nose to get a look at the mucas membrane colour, then did a quick check on her gums which Frank noticed were pale instead of the usual pink.
“She’s in shock.” Fliss sniffed a little, noticing the change in colour and Scott wrinkled his nose.
“Not uncommon if she’s in a bit of pain.” He stood back. “Okay, I’m going to give her an anti-spasmodic and some pain relief which should help, and a mild sedative so I can do an internal examination.”
“Yeah, whatever you need to do.” Fliss nodded as Scott turned to head back to his car to prep what he needed.
“Internal examination?” Frank looked at Fliss, “Like, is he…” He mimed fisting something and despite herself, Fliss let out a snort of laughter.
“That’s exactly what he’s gonna do.” She shook her head as she gently stroked Heidi’s face, the mare giving another grunt and huff as she butted Fliss out of the way a little. “Still a sassbag, eh girl?”
“Like her mom.” Frank looked at Fliss and she shrugged, turning over her shoulder as the vet approached, two large syringes in his hand.
“Look, can you call my mum and dad?” Fliss looked at Frank. “I don’t think…well, Dad especially is going to want to be here if…”
“Sure.” Frank nodded and turned away, obligingly.
He wandered back into the office, Bill who answered the phone instantly asked him what was going on and when he explained he simply stated they would be there as soon as they could be and hung up.
“Is she going to be okay?” Mary asked, as Frank checked on Alex where he was still sleeping in his stroller.
“I honestly don’t know Stack, but as soon as I do I’ll tell you okay?”
“Okay.”
“You’re doing a good job in here, watching him.”
“Don’t patronise me, Dad.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s asleep, and I’m reading. Not like it’s hard.”
Frank blinked, before he gave a little scoff and turned to head back onto the yard.
The Vet was just finishing giving Heidi the first jab and he gently rubbed the horse’s neck and then nodded to Fliss.
“Okay so that’s the pain relief and anti-spasmodic administered. Take her back in the paddock and give her another couple of minutes’ walk round whilst it kicks in.”
Fliss nodded and led the horse away, waving off Frank’s offer to come with her, Thor trotting behind.
“What’s the chances, Scott?” Frank turned to the man and he pulled a face.
“It’s hard to say.” He sighed. “If she was younger I’d be optimistic but with horses that age, well everything like this can be a risk. If this doesn’t work then I’ll know more after I’ve done an internal.”
To their despair it didn’t work, and if anything after another minute of walking around Heidi had gotten even worse and her bright, chestnut coat was now damp with sweat, her chest area and parts of her chest covered in a thin sheen of white foam.
“Scott, she’s in agony.” Fliss sniffed as Frank curled an arm round her.
“The sedative will help more with the pain.” Scott assured Fliss, pulling out the second needle which he administered into the horses neck. “Atta girl. We’ll give that a minute to work.”
As Scott snapped on a pair of rubber gloves, Frank and Fliss both turned to look as they heard another car heading up the gravel driveway onto the yard. Verity and Bill appeared shortly after, exchanging a look before Bill headed straight to Heidi, giving her a soft stroke on the nose before Verity did the same.
“You okay, Titch?” Bill asked, dropping a kiss to her head and she swallowed.
“Not really.” Her eyes flicked to Scott as he moved behind Heidi whose head was now slumped down, resting on Fliss’ shoulder as the sedative had kicked in. No one spoke for a moment, before they all heard a heavy sigh from Scott as he pulled his arm back and shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Fliss.” He sighed, and immediately her face crumpled and she took a deep breath.
“Don’t say it, please.” She begged, her chest tightening painfully as her voice cracked.
“Her gut’s twisted. The only option is surgery, but given her age and the stress that would put on her heart…”
He trailed off as Fliss shook her head, wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve. “I’m not putting her through that.” She whispered, “It’s not fair. She’s too old.”
“In that case then, well, you know what I’m gonna say.” Scott dropped his head as Frank softly placed his hands between Fliss shoulder blades as she nodded and took a deep breath “I really am so sorry.”
“It isn’t your fault.” Fliss shook her head, sniffing loudly. “I don’t want her in pain longer than she needs to be. Can we…can we get on with it, please?”
The Vet nodded. “I won’t be able to arrange for her body to be collected until the morning.” He looked at Fliss who took a shuddering breath, more tears rolling down her face. “So errr, where do you want to….”
“Why don’t you use the barn at the back?” Bill cut in gently. “I can move the tractor out for the night. There’s enough room for her to go down peacefully and she can stay in there until someone can collect her.”
“Yeah, it’s clean in there and a soft landing for when…” Fliss took a deep breath before she began to cry as she pressed her face into her beloved horse’s neck, her shoulders shaking as Frank gently rubbed at her back.
“The kids are in the office.” He turned to Bill and Verity, “Mary’s gonna…”
“We’ll sort it.” Verity assured him. “I’ll take Alex back to the house.” She turned to Fliss and gave her arm a gently squeeze before she gently scratched at Heidi’s wither, her head bowing as she walked away.
The next five minutes passed in a blur for Fliss, and somehow she found herself in the barn at the back, as she led Heidi in, the mare following her faithfully.
“Do you want another couple of minutes?” Scott asked kindly.
“Just one, for us all to say goodbye.” Fliss nodded, as she stroked down Heidi’s nose, the tears pouring down her face. She turned to Mary who was stood with Frank, her eyes wet and Frank picked her up, carrying her over as the family crowded round.
“Goodbye, Heidi.” Mary sniffed, pressing a kiss to her nose as Frank gently gave the horse a scratch on the neck. “Frank says we all end up in the same place eventually, so we’ll see you again.”
At that Fliss let out a loud sob and clamped her hand over her face as she broke down. Bill wiped at his eyes as he dropped his arm round his daughter.
“Do you remember when we went to see her before we bought her?” He asked and Fliss let out a choked laugh. “She was in that field, and she came straight over, but so did that big black horse…”
“And she kicked it.” Fliss laughed. “Then she bit Steve. That’s why I picked her.”
At that Frank let out a soft chuckle.
“Yeah, he held a grudge about that, still does.” Bill smiled softly. “God, you had some moments with her. Falls, disagreements, battles of wills, but you got there in the end.”
“She’s been amazing.” Fliss smiled, pressing her nose to Heidi’s. “Turned herself inside out to please me. The best horse I could ever have had.”
Bill smiled, before he reached up and stroked Heidi’s face. “Night, old girl.”
At that he stepped back a little, the three of them plus the vet giving Fliss a moment alone with her old faithful.
“Dad’s right.” She smiled, her hand stoking Heidi’s nose, “You were an asshole for the first four months but, I knew you’d be special, I just had to get your trust. You gave me everything, baby girl, and I’ll never forget you. I’m gonna miss you so much. Your stupid temper tantrums if I don’t pay you enough attention, the fact you rule the pastures…” the tears poured freely down Fliss’ face as she took a shuddering breath, pressing her head to Heidi’s, taking a deep breath. “Sleep well.”
At that she turned to Scott and nodded, and he stepped forward.
“Okay, you’ve seen this before, right?”
“Yeah.” Fliss nodded, “But Mary hasn’t so…”
“Right, so, Mary, I’m gonna give her the first shot and that’s gonna knock her out pretty much, she’s likely to rock back and sit down like a dog before she flops sideways so, be prepared okay.”
“Kay…” Mary spoke in a quiet voice from where she stood in front of Frank. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders and bent down.
“You sure you wanna watch this?”
Mary nodded. “Yeah. Heidi doesn’t know what’s going on. She should have her family here.”
Frank smiled, pressed a kiss to the top of her head and stood up, his hands remaining where they were as Bill gently strode forward and grabbed Thor’s collar, removing him from the barn and out of the way.
Within seconds of Scott administering the first injection, Heidi did just as Scott said. Fliss gently pushed back with the lead rope, guiding Heidi back and the horse fell onto her haunches before flopping sideways, her head landing heavily on the straw bales that Bill had positioned to cushion her blow.
With a loud sob Fliss dropped to her knees and cradled the horse’s head in her lap as Scott then bent over to give her the last injection.
“So now she’s just basically gonna fall asleep and never wake up.” He looked at Mary who nodded, giving a loud sniff as she reached up to grab Franks hand.
“You okay?” He asked and she nodded, wiping at her face with her other hand. Bill moved, dropping a large hand to the back of the small girl’s head as Fliss gently stroked Heidi’s face as the animal’s eyes closed.
With a final, laboured breath, the animal’s chest grew still and Scott bent over.
“She’s gone.” He looked at Fliss, who gave another loud sob, bending over to press her face into the side of Heidi’s cheek.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix you.” She cried, her voice broken. “I’m so sorry.”
Frank was surprised to find his own eyes misting up, and as Mary turned to him, pressing her face into his T’shirt just above the waistband of his sweats, he glanced up at Bill who had tears trickling down his cheeks. He nodded to Frank who gently looked down at Mary, who stepped back and moved towards Bill as he opened his arms, allowing Frank to move into the barn.
“Hey, Lissy…come here.” He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms round his girl who turned and pressed into him, her body wracked as she almost screamed out her sobs.
*****
It was pushing midnight before they made their way back to the house. Fliss had broken down once more as Frank and Bill had pulled the huge barn doors shut where Heidi’s body lay, covered by a tarp, ready for collection in the morning. The Vet had been nothing short of fantastic, as sympathetic and understanding as he could and for that Frank had thanked him profoundly as he’d been packing his kit up. Without a word said between any of them, they walked down the little pathway and through the gate that connected into the gardens of the house and walked slowly across the gravel driveway. Fliss was walking a little ahead of them, every so often Frank would notice her hand falling to Thor’s head, almost as if she was checking her faithful dog was still with them as well.
She opened the back door which led into the mudroom and walked in, kicking off her boots and then headed into the family room where Verity was sat watching TV. She stood up immediately, took one look at Fliss and then she held her arms out.
“Mum…” Fliss choked and Verity swallowed, her own face creasing into sadness as Fliss stepped into the comfort of her mum’s arms, sniffing slightly.
“Oh, Sweetheart.” Verity pressed a kiss to her daughters head. “I know this is no consolation but she had the best life ever with you, she was so loved and looked after.”
Tearing his eyes away from Fliss, who continued to sniff softly as her mum held her, Frank gently turned to Mary who had tugged on his sleeve.
“You okay?” He asked, his hand gently cupping under her cheek and she shook her head.
“I’m just sad.”
“I know.” He agreed. “You will be for a while, and there’s nothing anyone can say or do that’s gonna make it better, but if you wanna talk about it…”
“No, I think I just wanna go to bed.” She shrugged slightly. “And give Fred a hug.”
“Alright.” He nodded. “You go up, I’ll come tuck you in, in a second.”
She nodded and then walked towards Fliss, hesitating a little, before she continued and gently reached up to lay her hand on Fliss’s elbow. Fliss broke away from her mum and turned to look at Mary, wiping her eyes. Mary blinked and Fliss gave her a soft smile, crouching down to give her a hug, kissing her head.
“I love you, Mom.” Mary’s voice cracked and Fliss pressed her face harder into her hair, pulling her even closer, before she pulled back a little bit and smiled.
“I love you too. And I’m proud of you. You were so brave then.”
Fliss straightened up as Mary walked from the room after bidding everyone a goodnight, before she turned to Frank who was watching her carefully, knowing from the way her face was crumpling that her emotions were about to boil over completely. “Frankie…she…” Fliss stuttered, her chest heaving as Frank stepped forward quickly. “She just…”
“I know…” He wrapped his arms round her and pulled her close as she began to sob, her face pressed into his t-shirt. He stood, his large arms holding her against him, one hand gently resting on the back of her neck, his thumb gently arching over the skin at the back of her ear as he slowly rocked her to-and-fro on the spot, pressing a kiss to her head.
“I’ll make us some tea.” Verity swallowed, and Frank looked at her gratefully as she passed, Bill following, the man gently squeezing Fliss’ shoulder. The room was silent apart from the clinking of mugs as Verity gathered the items she needed to make them all a drink, and Thor’s soft little whines of concern, the dog eventually sticking his head in between Frank and Fliss, nudging Fliss’s thigh with his nose, his noises of distress becoming more and more high pitched. Fliss looked down, Frank’s arm curling over her shoulder as she reached down and scratched behind his ear, before the dog stood on his hind legs, his large paws reaching Fliss’ shoulders as she stooped towards him as he gently licked the tears from her face, his noises dying down a little. Frank watched the animal, a warm feeling in his chest. He’d never seen him react in this way before. He knew from tales Fliss had told him that he’d often comforted her before once her shit bag ex had given her a battering, and he’d seen the dog seek her out when she was upset or worried, but never in such an overt way like this.
“I know you’re not keen on the idea.” Fliss sniffed, looking at Frank and he turned his eyes from the dog to her. “But, can he sleep on the end of the bed, just for tonight?”
Frank looked at her, then back to the dog. Having never had pets as a kid, the bond between a human and an animal was never something he’d really given a second thought to, that is until Mary had found Fred. But since meeting Fliss, seeing the way she was with Thor and her horses, seeing how Mary was with Monty, he’d started to really comprehend that the ties went beyond a simple love. They were bonds, bonds that transcended species, bonds that snaked their way around your heart and latched on with barbs and having one of those bonds wrenched away was not only excruciating but it was devastating.
In simple terms, it was like losing a member of your family, and that Frank could relate to. It was a physical pain, a searing knife which twisted in your heart every time you thought about the person you’d lost.
The lump in Frank’s throat grew even larger as he reached out and scratched Thor behind the ear, the dog turning to him and licking the underside of his forearm, his bushy tail wagging against Frank’s leg.
“I think we can make an exception for one night.” He smiled, looking at Fliss before he pressed a soft kiss to her temple.
*****
Frank was glad their bed was a kingsize. Whilst he never minded particularly that Thor would lounge on the bed with them before they were going to sleep, or in the mornings when they got up, having the big animal on there all night could have been a problem, but as it stood, the dog was perfectly happy to curl up round the peak in the covers which Fliss’ feet made, and she pointed out to Frank that he’d probably hop off and get on his basket at some point during the night.
“He used to do that, anyway.” She shrugged. “When I was in the annex that is. Asshole never let him on the bed. If he was ever away for a few days and I let him or Loki up, I used to have to change the bedding so he wouldn’t find out. One day I forgot and…well, you can figure the rest.”
“Shhhh.” Frank kissed her neck softly as he pulled her closer, her back pressing into his chest wrapping his arms around her. “Try and get some sleep, Sweetheart. It’s late.”
“Thank you.” She whispered.
“What for?”
“Just being you.” She let out a deep breath and turned her head so she could look at him.
“Well, that is one thing I’m pretty good at.” He quipped and Fliss gave a soft chuckle before she took a deep breath.
“I know you’re busy at the shop, but is there any chance you could start late tomorrow?” She asked him softly. “I don’t wanna be on my own when they come to take her.”
“I’m not going in tomorrow.” Frank shook his head. “And Mary’s not going to school. We’ve had a late and upsetting night so I think we should all take it easy, spend some family time together. I thought maybe we could go for a drive, head down to Bay Vista Park.” He suggested. “There’s plenty of shade to sit in. We can take a picnic, climb some trees, me and Mary can have a game of Ultimate Frisbee, perhaps a swim. Hey, we might even spot some manatees.”
“Sounds great.” Fliss agreed, turning her head back round and laying down on the pillow. It was silent for a while, and Frank thought she’d drifted off to sleep until he felt her take a shuddering breath and her shoulders began to shake.
“Hey, come on.” Frank pulled her closer, pressing another kiss to her neck and she turned in his arms, pressing her face into his chest.
“I can’t believe she’s gone.” Fliss sniffed, as Frank’s hand ran up and down her back.
“I’m sorry, Sweetheart. I wish there was something I could do to make this better.”
“This is helping, a little.” She spluttered and Frank gave a soft chuckle, kissing her head again.
“Then you can stay like this all night.” He replied, closing his eyes as he simply held her close.
Eventually, Frank felt Fliss’ breathing grow even, and even though he couldn’t see in the dark of their room he knew she was asleep.
“Night, Baby.” He whispered, kissing her forehead and at that he heard Thor give out a little huff as the dog hopped down off the bed, his basket creaking before there was a soft thud indicating he’d bedded down there.
And, as Frank drifted off, he couldn’t help smile at just how the faithful dog had waited until he knew his precious human was asleep before he left her side.
***** Chapter 22
Dedicated to my gorgeous, wonderful, bad tempered but oh-so-loyal and loving chestnut mare, Sandybrook Hideaway. Keep waiting on that rainbow bridge until I find you again.
#riding on#frank adler#frank adler x ofc#frank adler x original female character#frank adler x oc#gifted#gifted fan fic#chris evans#chris evans characters
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For Those in Peril on the Sea
The worst job I’ve ever held was working in an aluminum factory. I’d gone through a nasty divorce and needed a job immediately. The workers at the local aluminum factory were on strike, and the facility was hiring scabs. You didn’t need to be qualified, or even particularly intelligent. You just needed to be smart enough to not accidentally light yourself on fire. Being in a position of serious financial jeopardy, I immediately jettisoned my principles and crossed the picket line.*
My job didn’t require much in the way of finesse or analysis. It was simple—I’d stand in front of a foundry containing molten aluminum. As you can imagine, it was awfully hot, and the heavy fireproof clothing I wore didn’t exactly cool me down. Using a metal pole called a slag stick, I had to remove slag from the aluminum. I’d work for 15-20 minutes, retreat to the break room to down a Gatorade, and head back into the inferno.
I held that job for about a week, before landing a far cushier gig in an office. That job change was a massive stroke of luck, yet there were others who weren’t so lucky. Their world consisted of tedium. The same work, the same facility, the same people. While I suspect most of the people who worked there were happy to have what appeared to be stable employment, they also must have realized they were in a very specific kind of hell.
When I mention the concept of hell, I don’t necessarily mean flames, horror, and dudes with horns poking people. In his play No Exit, Jean-Paul Sartre wrote about three people banished to The Bad Place. Over time, they come to understand that their punishment doesn’t involve elaborate tortures. It was just them. Together. Forever. That’s where the phrase, “Hell is other people” comes from, and the new film by Robert Eggers, The Lighthouse, takes that concept and positively sprints with it.
Rather unceremoniously, we’re dropped onto an island at the tail end of the 19th century. The island might be located off the coast of Maine, Cape Cod, who knows? All we know about the island is that it’s a godforsaken rock, upon which a lighthouse has been built. Tending to the lighthouse is a full-time job, one that requires the attention of two men. As the work is both physically and psychologically demanding, teams of two men are cycled in and out every four weeks.
The latest team consists of Thomas (Willem Dafoe) and Ephraim (Robert Pattinson). Thomas is in charge of the place, a crusty older guy laying on the sea captain schtick a little thick. Ephraim is younger and saddled with all of the daily chores. He gets to do all the fun stuff, such as emptying the chamber pots, lugging around massive kerosene containers, and refueling the light itself.
Days pass, bleeding together into endless tedium. It seems that the sun never shines on this island, and Ephraim performs backbreaking labor while Thomas constantly criticizes him over his deficient job performance. Almost forgot—that all happens during the incessant snoring and farting that Ephraim has to endure. The only relief he receives is brief moments of self-gratification and the scrimshaw statue he finds of a mermaid.
Under no circumstances is Ephraim allowed to enter the top of the lighthouse. That’s Thomas’ domain, and Ephraim’s curiosity is piqued when he spies Thomas at the top of the lighthouse behaving oddly. From there, a seagull begins to torment Ephraim, the men profoundly get on each other’s nerves, and secrets come to light. Then, things get extremely weird.
The Lighthouse is a triumph of filmmaking, though it’s a very, very strange triumph. Director Robert Eggers is fully committed to a highly specific style. Like his previous film The Witch, Eggers has made a highly tactile film where viewers can feel the rough wool of clothing and smell the omnipresent body odor of two men. While he’s very much made a horror movie, Eggers has no interest in jump scares. He’s more interested in creating an atmosphere of paranoia and creeping dread, and his camera constantly reminds us of the insignificance of the men and their island, surrounded by a violent sea.
I should take a moment to mention how Eggers has shot The Lighthouse. Without getting needlessly technical, most movies are shot in an aspect ratio of either 1.85:1 or 2.39:1, which refers to the relationship between the width and height of images. That’s why movies and television are usually in a rectangular format. With The Lighthouse, Eggers shot the film in black and white with a 1.19:1 aspect ratio. That means the entire film is placed in a square surrounded by blackness. That decision creates a constant feeling of claustrophobia, in which all of the images are cramped. Eggers has made a daring choice, and I applaud him.
Speaking of daring choices, the screenplay by Eggers and his brother Max Eggers is astounding. It’s not enough that they consulted the journals of Atlantic seafarers of the 1890s to capture the impenetrable jargon of Dafoe’s Thomas. Their script is (extremely loosely) based on the 1801 tragedy of the Smalls Lighthouse, along with the works of writers such as H.P. Lovecraft and Herman Melville. The end result is saturated with signs and portents, questions about madness, hatred, control, and serious horniness.
At this point, maybe you’re thinking, “Nah, dawg, this seems like the opposite of fun and I’m giving it a hard pass for date night.” Before you write this film off due to a concern about it being endlessly artsy-fartsy, see it for two of the best performances ever put to film. You’re going to think that Willem Dafoe is just playing the Sea Captain from The Simpsons. Look closer, and you’ll see that under all the “Arr, laddie” stuff is a hypnotic performance. Thomas is more than a hilariously long-winded control freak—he just might be trying to annihilate his partner. Maybe not, though, and Robert Pattinson’s portrayal of the seething Ephraim makes us believe that the younger man is reaching the end of his rope. Immersing himself in a host of bodily fluids and muck, Pattinson delivers a fearless performance of a man drowning in physical, spiritual, and sexual desperation.
Robert Eggers makes films of singular originality. He understands that a nightmare of isolation can come to feel like heaven when another person is added to the mix. The Lighthouse looks and feels unlike anything else that’s out right now, and it’s made with exquisite care and intelligence. Don’t be one of those cinematic cowards who are unwilling to face its briny insanity. I promise that it’s worth your time to take the plunge.
*If I knew then what I know now, would I work as a scab? Probably not.
from Blog https://ondenver.com/for-those-in-peril-on-the-sea/
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Accepted Sweden!
There’s so many people enrolling in the School of Science, it’s wonderful! It must be the largest school in the entire University by now.
Thank you, thank you so much for your application! Please make sure you move in within the next three days! Oh- and by the way, thank you!
OOC;
Name: jean
Age: 19
Pronouns: they/them, their highness
Activity: 7
Contact: douleurexqvise @ the website of tumbles
Ships for Muse: ANYTHING A ND E VERYT HING but probs gonna do sufin with felix (please help he keeps adding these things to my application and i want to die)
Timezone: est
Triggers/Sensitive Subjects: nothing that i know of :v
Any Concerns?: tbh this app sucks and please forgive me for being trash lmAO but yes welcome to my shitty writing skills i hope u enjoy the ride
IC;
Character: Sweden
Full Name / Preferred Name: Berwald Oxenstierna
Age: 24
Birthday: June 6th
Gender: Cis-male
Pronouns: He/Him
Housing: Whio Lodge (shared??? do i even choose l m ao kill me)
Pets: na h
IC - In Depth;
Magical Branches: N/A
Ahurei (Unique Ability): Health Manipulation (he can essentially speed up/slow down the healing process, or in very small cases fully heal/open wounds and such- the only drawback is that in return he also feels the victim’s pain :v)
Major/s: Biomedical Science, Chemistry, and Biology
Minor/s: Healing
Type of Degree: Doctorate
Clubs: Meme Supreme (he’s just there to ensure kristen doesn’t die)
Appearance:
Berwald is a stoic young man, who doesn’t really seem to care much about the latest trends anymore. He’s 6’1, as he towers over almost everyone at school. His expressions never seem to falter, and are usually kept in the same monotone state. His shoulders are quite wide, and built from years of hardship and caring for his mother. All his friends say that his eyes are some shade of green, while he thinks it’s a sort of murky blue. His fashion taste is rather vintage, as he rarely uses social media and couldn’t care less about what colours are in season and what trends are happening at the moment.
You can often see that his hands are covered in calluses and blisters, his skin cracked and rough from working a bit too much. Berwald rarely complains about this though, and even if you plead with him he’ll keep on working anyways. His blond hair is usually messy, as he never takes the time to thoroughly come it back or keep it tidy. No one seems to notice though, so he’s eventually grown used to keeping his hair like it (much to his mother’s dismay.) Being born in a relatively cold area with little to no sunlight, his skin is quite pale (this reminds him a bit about the teenage vampire novels girls in his primary school would use to read.)
Headcanons:
Is a total wizard when it comes to knitting (or doing anything that requires a ball of yarn and a pair of knitting needles), courtesy of his loving mother.
Despite looking like he plots homicide every few seconds, Berwald is actually a huge dork, that has a huge soft spot for cute looking things and anything smaller than his hand (he’s also pretty playful too.)
He’s a sucker for nicknames. “Sweetie”, “Honey”, they’ll all make him melt.
During his childhood, he would always watch his mother try on pretty dresses of different shades of blue, giving him a sort of aptitude for dark blue colours and a more feminine way of thinking (even if he doesn’t really look like it.)
He also likes carving little miniature animals out of wood, and has nicknames for all of them. They are his children. Do not touch them without his permission.
During his primary school years his mother urged him to learn some self defense skills, which is why he has some knowledge in swords and fencing (and he’s actually quite good at it.)
To be honest his whole dorm room looks like an IKEA catalogue.
He prefers indirectly speaking (texting, writing letters, etc.) than physical, because he thinks that he can express his feelings better without thinking about the situation. Hence why he’s so into video games.
His favourite flower is the Forget-Me-Not, not only because of the name but how delicate they seem.
Is COD buddies with Timo, even though he still doesn’t know how to reload.
Personality:
Berwald is someone you can’t really get a grasp on after a few days of knowing them. Some people say he’s capricious, but he really isn’t. It takes time for him to open up he guesses. It’s not like he doesn’t like anyone, or is anti-social. It’s just in his nature, and how he was raised. He doesn’t mind people trying to annoy talk to him, but he’d rather read a book and drink some warm coffee instead. Because of this, he does manage to give off an unlikely aura, which many people seem to be afraid of or dislike. Curse his unchanging expressions.
It’s once you spend a little bit more time with him, he opens up. You have to be a committed friend to really know this side of him. He’s huge on the idea of love, and everything in his mind could and can be romanticized. Despite this, apparently he’s super good with kids, knowing just how to make them smile and giving into their pleading tendencies. He’s just a huge kid himself, after all.
If you’re having any problems, he’ll be sure to sit by you and listen to everything you say, and try his best to comfort you and lend a shoulder. It’s just in his nature.
Strengths:
Keeping calm in stressful situations
Being the most relaxed dude on earth
Overall perseverance
BEING HECKA TALL
Creativity
Weaknesses:
Drawback to his magical ability
A bit sensitive at some times
Doesn’t really understand how to express his emotions
Silent type
Can’t lie (or fail miserably)
Backstory:
Growing up in the Swedish countryside, there wasn’t anything special about Berwald’s childhood. Sure, there were plenty of cows and sheep and whatnot, but that was essentially it. His father had passed away quite a number of years ago after he had moved out of the city, and he could barely remember anything about him. He’d always hear from his mother that he was a spitting image of his father, from his eyes to the tips of his toes. Berwald dismissed these thoughts, though he didn’t want to see his mother disappointed. After all, he had great respect for her, and looked up to her more than anyone. Perhaps he was more disappointed in his father for leaving them, thought he knew it really wasn’t in his control.
Day after day from herding and milking cows, Berwald would waltz inside to his mother baking or knitting, humming a small tune from the mid 90’s. He would then continue to help clear the dishes, set the table, or any chores that his mother hoped he would do. The thing Berwald dreaded the most was school. For the first half of his life, he went to the small churchhouse down the road that also doubled as a school. It seemed that his whole town was stuck in the late 19th century. The kids there were rude, noisy, and a bit too much for him. After a while his mother reluctantly volunteered to homeschool him, and sooner or later he excelled. He was accepted into a prestigious secondary school in Stockholm, where he moved to only a few days after hearing this announcement.
Making friends never seemed to be Berwald’s strong point, as he always sat alone during class and never usually partnered up during projects. Sometimes his roommate would speak a word or two to him, but that was it. Here Berwald found solitude in the world of video games. He loved them. It gave him a chance to speak his mind without having to think too much or any chance for panic.
Disease soon struck his hometown, as he found out during the middle of his final exams that his mother had passed away. For a while, Berwald refused to talk to anyone. Sure, he was saddened, and couldn’t help but feel the huge hole in heart, but something else bothered him. Why didn’t he grieve? No tears escaped his eyes, but just desperate, silent and mental pleas for him to wake up from his nightmare. His own guilt drove him to leave the school, but soon realized his mistake and ended up entering back in for his mother.
[kill me]
Sample RP:
As soon as Berwald wakes up, his hands are shaking. His body is a mess, his mind covered by grey clouds that he can’t seem to clear. Everything is spiraling out of his control. He looks up at the miniature clock situated between two paintings in the middle of his bedroom. Is it really so late? He tells himself to go back to sleep. No, his mind urges him. Go outside. Feel the cool air on your skin. Taste the freedom that was never yours. Experience what only a few have ever gotten the chance to experience. It’s almost like he’s being hypnotized, his soothing conscious prying and playing with him.
Before he knows it he’s slipping on a light t-shirt, ruined from age and using an abundance of baking soda. Berwald bites down hard on his inner cheek. The metallic taste of blood is there. He touches the inside of his mouth. There’s nothing. He blinks a few times before scuffling down flights of stairs, hastily buttoning the worn down jeans he grabbed from his closet. A small push of the door and he’s outside, just like that.
Perhaps his conscious is right- as the cold air bites his exposed skin, sending goosebumps to every inch of his body. The sensation is frightening, yet somehow so fantastical that it’s almost like it’s worth it. Berwald runs his hand through his disheveled hair, breathing out harshly so that he can see it rise up into the air. Is this what freedom truly feels like? Everything he’s longed and fought for- is this it? The stars that reign above look so beautiful, he decides. Have they ever shone like this before? Maybe he’s just never taken the time to realize, maybe he’s right.
After spending a few minutes in the cold winter night, he decides it would be best if he didn’t get hypothermia, and slowly walks back inside. He puts his hand on the glass door, a new sort of sensation reveling up his body. He’s more aware now. Berwald can feel it. Before he goes back to sleep, he sets his glasses on a table in front of the paintings. He looks up at the clock, curious on how long he truly spent out there. What’s this? The time hasn’t changed. The hour and minute hands are still stuck on what they were before. Damn. Berwald reminds himself to fix it when he wakes up, and tumbles back onto his bed and falls asleep.
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