#wow this is lowkey making me nervous to publish :')

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

voltron- lance with a cold but doesn't want anyone to know?

(Omg my first voltron prompt..also lowkey nervous bc I’m new to it and everyone already has a million amazing voltron fics and I have nothing new to add to the table :“D on the shorter side so I get used to writing voltron :”) )

Amongst the total debacle of space, discovering alien life, realising that the world was so vast and bigger than the human mind could comprehend, Lance had found another family through his friends. It wouldn’t quite fill the void left by the loss of his family back at earth, but they were loving,  a little ignorant and harsh at times during high drake situations, very rarely at that but Lance understood, given the clusterfuck that was their situation.

The universe had been so much larger and diverse than Lance had could have possibly imagined, so many things he did not know. Among all this, topped with insecurities he had struggled with beforehand, he struggled to find his place in all of this.

His friends were kind to him, never telling him he was useless of any sort, but he couldn’t help but feel it. Watching them, with all their own niches and spectacular talent, he grew a little envious, and wishing he could be that. Wishing he could be a little bit more than this.

So when his body began to break down, he had to ignore it, not wanting to seem any weaker than he already was.

“Paladins! Report to the bridge in 60 ticks!”

Lance groaned, not wanting to leave his comfortable, warm position on his bed. He tightened his sheets around his frame as he regained his senses. As he did, he wished he hadn’t because he became aware of a powerful headache, a stuffy nose and a fevered body.

As soon as he realised what was up with him, he widened his eyes, taking his ailment as a challenge. No way would he be taken down by something as simple as a cold.

He pushed himself out of his bed, trying to get ready as quickly as possible. Lance instantly regretted his past decision as his headache intensified, causing him to feel weak and woozy. He groaned softly, until a sudden tickle brewing in his sinuses had him inhaling sharply and sneezing harshly towards the floor.

Lance groaned yet again, the force of the sneeze causing his head to whip forwards, the sudden movement doing no wonders for his already painful headache. He laid a hand against the wall, steadying himself as a wave of dizziness hit him, sighing, bracing himself for what was no doubt going to be a rough day.

“Lance, you’re late!” Allura sighed, a slight hint of annoyance in her voice.

“Nah, y'all are just early! Party doesn’t start til I walk in,” Lance beamed, trying not to raise any suspicion towards his illness.

Keith rolled his eyes fondly, averting his attention back to Allura, “So, what’s the agenda for today?”

“I would like you paladins to partake in an extensive training session today, to bring you all back in shape for any unexpected attacks,” She explained.

“Of course, we appreciate how well you’ve all been working and how strong you’ve all gotten, but there is always room for improvement!” Coran grinned.

“Great!” Lance beamed with feigned enthusiasm for the others. ‘Great,’ he beamed sarcastically to himself.

“I’m ready to kick your ass, Keith,” Lance grinned, all this forced energy already draining his weak body, causing him to feel warm and dizzy. 'I am definitely not ready to kick any ass, Keith,’ Lance thought to himself.

Shiro raised his eyebrow slightly, noticing a slight rasp and congestion to Lance’s voice. He cleared his throat as the rest of the team running off to get into their gear, catching up with Lance.

“Are you okay, Lance?” Shiro asked kindly.

“What? I’m fan-tastic, ready to seize the day!” Lance beamed.

“Hmm,” Shiro merely grunted, not too convinced but let it go for the time being, giving Lance a friendly pat on the back.

Lance kept his smiley, energetic facade on until Shiro and everyone else were out of his sight, and then proceeded to cough a short fit of chesty wet coughs into his arm.

Lance groaned softly, wondering how he was going to get through today.

Lance dodged Keith’s swing sloppily, last minute and nearly tripping over his own feet. He breathed noisily through his mouth, his nose completely stuffed. He could barely even see Keith with his vision turned a blur from his awful headache.

“You’re slacking, Lance!” Keith taunted, dodging a sloppy swing from Lance with ease.

Lance made a groan of frustration and annoyance, his nose starting to burn with a tickling sensation, averting all his attention towards it. Due to the overpowering sensation, he lost all his concentration and ended up being hit by Keith. Extremely hard.

Lance let out a hiss of pain, swallowing to stop himself from being any louder than he    already was being. He dropped everything, his frame tipping slightly as he rested his hands on his knees to support himself. The one good thing that came from this was that at least now, he lost the about the tickle, but instead had a throbbing pain in his leg.

Keith’s face went completely white, eyes widening in shock. He rushed towards Lance in worry, dropping everything. He wrapped an arm around Lance’s shoulder to help him stand upright and steady.

“Are you okay?!” Keith asked frantically, guilt dropping out of his voice.

“I’m fine, Keith!” Lance snapped, pushing the boy off of him and stood straight on his own, causing his head to spin. He sniffled weakly, trying to steady himself so he could see straight.

Pidge came up to them, examining Lance’s leg, raising an eyebrow quizzically, “There’s not much damage done here, thankfully. Just a bruising at most.”

“I’m not weak!” Lance hissed, becoming slightly delirious.

Pidge widened her eyes, “What?! No, Lance! That’s not what I meant at all!”

Lance let out a shaky breath, realising what he had done and softened. In that moment he looked much younger, tired, weak. “I’m sorry,” he croaked softly, voice scratchy.

Hunk frowned, “Lance, what’s wrong?”

Lance shook his head aggressively, picking back up and getting himself into a a fighting position. He faced Keith, pulling on a determined look, as he painted. Suddenly, the tickle from earlier returning with vengeance, intense and burning that there was no time for a build up. He simply launched into an powerful fit of sneezing, head snapping forward with each one, which progressively got more forceful.

As he finished, his pounding headache worsened from the impact of snapping forward repeatedly. He slumped forward, giving in to his illness as he allowed himself to feel the true extent of his illness.

“..Lance..?” Pidge called gently.

Lance sniffled, letting out tiny little chesty coughs due to his congestion. He looked pathetic, a complete contrast to his bubbly, friendly exterior.

“What’s wrong?” Hunk asked patiently, a gentle hand propping itself on Lance’s shoulder.

Lance looked up blearily, eyes watery and exhausted, letting out a shaky little sigh before starting his sentence with a congested, little cough, “..I just don’t feel very well..”

Shiro smiled softly, approaching the younger boy and holding him by the shoulders, “Oh Lance..you should’ve told us. You know we wouldn’t have made you do this if we knew you weren’t feeling good.”

Lance sniffled, leaning against Shiro’s steady embrace, “I know..I just..”

“You just..?”

“…I didn’t want you guys to think I was weak,” Lance choked.

Pidge looked bewildered, “What?! We would never think that! Why would you think that? We would be nowhere without you!”

Lance shrugged, “..I don’t know..I wanted to prove to you guys..to myself..that I have a place here, I guess. It’s all just so overwhelming..”

Hunk frowned, “Awh Lance! You have nothing to prove, you’ve already proven yourself time and time again! We wouldn’t have even been able to do all of this if you haven’t connected with Blue!”

Lance managed a tiny smile, “..I just..I don’t know, feel inferior to all you guys. You’re all so talented..”

“Well, that is a load of garbage,” Keith said.

Pidge blinked, looking over at him, “Keith!”

He shook his head, “Lance, you are one of the most talented people I have ever met. You never seize to impress me everyday, and I learn more about you and realise that you’ve really got something. It’s a load of garbage that you think otherwise.”

Lance managed a small smirk, “..I..impress you?”

Keith blushed, looking away in embarrassment, “..That’s all I’m going to say.”

“Ah, there he is,” Pidge joked.

Shiro felt Lance’s forehead with the back of his hand, frowning, “You’ve got a bit of a fever too..you need to get to bed and get some rest. We need you in tip top shape as soon as possible, because we do really need you, Lance.”

Lance gave him a small smile, “..Okay.”

With that, Hunk swooped in and picked Lance up in his arms, giving him a large, loving grin, “Nurse Hunk to the rescue!! I’ll cook you up some good soup in just a little bit!”

The Paladins escorted Lance to his room, where they safely put him into bed, where Hunk said his farewells to make Lance some soup, shortly followed by Pidge who went to find some medicine, then Shiro who went to inform Coran and Allura, leaving him with Keith.

Keith fluffed up Lance’s pillow and tucked him into his blanket, feeling his cheek, brushing hair out of his face, in that totally loving mushy gushy out of character way that left Lance bewildered and having an out of body experience. He didn’t know if this was his fever or real life.

Keith answered that question for him, a slight blush to his cheeks, “..Don’t get yourself excited, I’m not going to be doing this every night now.”

Lance pulled on a look of fake disgust, “Eugh, I wouldn’t want you to.”

Keith smiled softly and sat at the edge of his bed, arms crossed and obviously finding trouble keeping eye contact with him, “..Lance..”

“Mm?”

“..I..didn’t know you felt that way. I-I know this is weird, and let’s not make it weird but if you ever want anyone to talk to..I’m right here, any time at all,” he stammered.

Lance gave him a small woozy smile, a soft, kittenish sneeze escaping him before he sniffled, snuggling into his covers. “..Right back at ya Keith..I’m here too..”

Keith smiled softly, gazing over at Lance with care, watching as the boy’s eyelids slowly drooped, clearly exhausted. He chuckled, “Get some sleep, Lance.”

Allura gently opened the door to Lance’s room, having decided to check on the Paladin and to see if he was well, only to see Keith sitting right by Lance’s side, a loving gaze on his eyes as he watched him sleep, as if trying to keep him safe.

Keith tensed as he heard her come in, whipping his head around to face her and relaxed as he realised it was only her. Suddenly, he realised what had happened and blushed with embarrassment, “uh..listen..”

Allura only smiled, “No, you don’t have to say anything. And I won’t either.”

She left shortly after, knowing Lance would be just fine if Keith was there by his side. And she was right, because Keith remained there to ensure that Lance was alright, making a vow to himself that nothing would ever hurt this boy, and the rest of his friends would help him do so.

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

[iohourtime]

Kiokuya (Memory Man) - Novel Spoiler (Part 1)

*While the most literal translation of Kiokuya (記憶屋) is “Memory Store”, XX-屋 can also refer to XX-man, like Koroshi-ya means hit man.  Since the story about a mysterious person, Kiokuya, it is more correct to go with the second translation: Memory Man.

You may have heard about Yamada Ryosuke being cast in a new movie, Kiokuya, which was adapted from the novel of the same name written by Origami Kyoya.  (Here’s the official website and twitter.)  The novel was released by Kadokawa Horror Publishing but was also described as a “love story” or “sad love story”. Yamada himself said that he read the novel and rather than it being “scary”, it’s more of a “human love story”. So what is it?

I’ve just read the Chinese version of the novel and I will summarize (and fully spoil) the plot after the cut.  I only read the novel once, so some of the plot might be a bit jumbled, but it shouldn't affect the story. (Or it’s the work of Memory Man! )  Based on the synopsis of the movie, it seems like there will be some changes to the novel. I don’t think they’ll change the ending though.  Anyway… final warning.  Close this if you don’t want to be spoiled.

Novel Spoilers are divided into 4 parts due to length. Here are the links for the other 3 parts:

Part 2 - “at present 1″, “Episode 2″, “at present 2″ Part 3 - “Episode 3″, “at present 3″ Part 4 - “Episode 4, “Epilogue”

Sorry, this ended up being almost like an abridged version of the light novel. I’ll post the remaining parts over the next week. One interesting thing is that the author is a lawyer by trade and a writer in her spare time. That’s probably why the chapter headings have legal terms. (They were originally in English to begin with.)

If you can read Chinese, here is the link for the ebook on Kobo (available to Canadians). It’s also available on books.com.tw and actual bookstores in Asia.  There is also a manga adaptation released by Gangan. You can access the sample chapter on here, which basically takes us up to the end of the first episode.  I just want to say that they could easily use Yamada’s personal wardrobe for this character.

…………

Movie Synopsis:  

University student, Yoshimori Ryoichi (Yamada), just proposed to his older lover, Sawada Kyoko (Renbutsu Misako). For some reason, he was not able to contact her the next day. A few days later, he saw Kyoko again, but she had lost all memories of Ryoichi. Unable to accept this, Ryoichi went looking for the truth about Kiokuya with his childhood friend, Kawai Maki (Yoshine Kyoko), a senpai and lawyer, Takaharu Tomoaki (Sasaki Kuranosuke). Is this the work of the urban legend, Kiokuya, a person who can take away people’s unpleasant memories.

Prologue

The first time Ryoichi heard of the Memory Man was when he was 3 years old. It seemed to be a popular folklore among the older people. Whenever one of them forgot something, his grandmother used to joke that the Memory Man must have “eaten” their memory

....

He saw a man wearing a long coat and an elementary school aged child. As the man touched her forehead, Ryoichi screamed “run”...

...

“Ryo-chan!” Maki shouted, waking him up from his slumber. His MAC was still on the urban legend forum and Maki saw this before he could close the browser.  Maki was 3 years younger than Ryoichi and was currently in high school.  They grew up across the street from each other and were very close.  

Maki said, “Oh Memory Man.  You're interested in him? You even did a timeline and everything!”

Ryoichi made some excuse about researching a paper for university about how urban legends started and spread.

Maki said, “Wow, the first sighting of Memory Man was 50 years ago?  I only heard of him about a year ago. It’s a really popular urban legend among us high school girls right now.  Do you want me to help?”

Ryoichi played it cool and pretended to be disinterested and finally managed to kick Maki out of his room.  However, he wasn’t doing this to be mean - he just wanted to protect her from finding out about Memory Man. He was very sure she was one of the three people whose memory was erased by Memory Man.  They both saw something when they were really young and Maki was inconsolable, but the next day, she was completely OK and seemed to have forgotten about it. He didn’t link this incident to Memory Man until a year ago when the second person he knew had her memory erased.  And then there was a third person.

1st Episode: Notice (1 Year Earlier)

Ryoichi was invited by his senpais to this gathering. He didn’t really want to go because he felt uncomfortable being surrounded by upperclassmen, but he went anyway. Suddenly, another senpai walked in and sat nearby. Long haired, pretty,  and carrying a pink bag, but in her hands were textbooks on psychology and neuro sciences. “Such a gap, and just my type!” Ryoichi thought.

“Are you a psychology student!?” They started chatting. They happened to both like the same baseball team, movies, etc… In other words, they totally hit it off. Ryoichi was thankful to the senpais who “forced” him to come. Then out of nowhere, Kyoko said she had to go. Ryoichi was shocked and thought it was him, but the other senpais said she didn’t usually come to these events and if she did, she would leave before it gets dark.  Ryoichi kicked himself for not even getting her email.

Luckily, they were in the same class and Ryoichi saw her again. They were chatting again and talked about the urban legends Ryoichi was looking at.  She apologized again for leaving and explained why she left so suddenly: she was scared to walk home in the dark by herself. While normally kinda passive, Ryoichi got this urge to ask her out.

“If we go watch that movie we both wanted to see right now, we can be done before dark. That's OK, right?” Ryoichi asked.

“Sorry, I can't today”

“How about Monday?”

“Sorry, I have something i need to do.”

Ryoichi was dejected.  Kyoko added “Sorry, but I am very happy you asked me.”

Ryoichi bumped into Kyoko on Monday at the hospital and she finally confessed - she had been seeing a psychologist on Monday to treat her phobia and she felt ashamed for being so scared at her age. Kyoko said, “So, do I lose any points?” Ryoichi said, “You know, let’s go watch the movie and I will walk you home.  You don’t have to be afraid.”  Kyoko agreed reluctantly.

It was dark. Ryoichi saw Kyoko pulled out a rape whistle and mace. As they walked towards her house, they passed by this dark alley. Ryoichi felt Kyoko’s body tensing, her grip on her rape whistle and mace tightened. She said (somewhat ashamed) that she was once attacked while walking down a dark alley. Even though a passerby managed to save her from being raped, she developed a crippling fear of the dark and could not walk home by herself once it got dark. She knew it was psychological and had been seeing a specialist but it did little to allay her fears.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if I can just have that memory taken away?”, Kyoko said.

Ryoichi said even though he had no experience with being attacked, he swore he would help her conquer the fear.  Kyoko nonchalantly asked about his research paper on Memory Man.  She thanked him and walked into her house.

Ryoichi researched more about Memory Man for his paper. He found an urban legend forum and joined the chat group.  Usually, urban legends are based on local folklore, or a real event that was distorted.  The popular ones typically have a being with an identifiable feature or they have a scary element, i.e. something that could happen to you. Memory Man was different. It was pretty lowkey and was only popular in a specific region - his city. There were no description of memory man and he might not be bad.  “Why would senpai mention Memory Man?”

Ryoichi and Kyoko started hanging out regularly and they would stay out later and later.  8pm, 9pm, 10pm... and Ryoichi would always walk her home right to the door.  He decided one day that maybe she was ready to face her fears.  It would be like teaching a kid to ride a bike and letting go once they are riding on their own.  He said he was going to be at this student event, but when Kyoko got there, she found out he was not able to make it. (But he was checking upon her.) It was too late for her to leave before dark, so she took the subway to the nearest station. But she was petrified when it was time for her to go. She tried leaving but was too afraid and kept turning back to the station area. She finally decided she would just stay the night at the 24 hour restaurant right by the station.  Ryoichi panicked when he saw how bad her fear was. He ran up to her and she realized what was going on. Rather than be mad at him, she was just mad at herself for being weak.  

After that time, she started talking more and more about Memory Man. She became even more untouchable. Every time they walked together, she would hold her rape whistle and mace tight. She threw herself into the research of Memory Man.

Ryoichi too, started became more active in the forums when Maki disrupted him to borrow a DVD. They talked about what the high school students know about Memory Man. What’s Memory Man? A world class hypnotist? A being that can “eat” memories? If it’s all psychological, shouldn’t Kyoko senpai be able to conquer this by herself?  (Meanwhile, Maki was all like - is she your girlfriend?)

One day, Ryoichi asked if she wanted to go out. Kyoko said, “No, there is something I need to do alone.” Ryoichi knew she was trying to meet Memory Man, who supposedly only shows up to people who needs him and when they are alone. He called Kyoko later, asking her not to do anything drastic or place her hopes on this urban legend that is probably not true.  He said he would walk her home for as long as she needs.

Kyoko said “You know, it's useless. I'm paralyzed by fear. Even when I was walking with you, I was afraid every second of it. I know you are a nice guy, but even though I know you won’t hurt me, I was still nervous. My guards are up.  I am very happy you’ve been helping me get home and that you worry about me. But I can’t do it. I know I can’t face you like this. I don’t want to only look at you as someone I rely on to protect me. I want to be able to just have a normal relationship with you.”

Ryoichi wanted to tell her to trust him, but he couldn’t get the message out.  He also knew he screwed up. That he just wanted to be a knight in the shining armour for her and forgot about her actual needs. He was an idiot and an asshole.

The next night, he walked over to her place to try and apologize, then suddenly, he saw Kyoko emerged from the dark alley alone. How could this be?

He walked up to her and said “Sawada senpai. Why didn’t you come to school?”   

Kyoko looked at him and said “Sorry, who are you?”

Ryoichi was shocked. “I’m your kouhai. We are in the same class together. I walked you home before.”

Kyoko was apologetic, laughing that she didn’t realize she was too drunk to remember him walking her home. She was like a new person and even said it was not dangerous walking in the dark in the residential area, since she could just scream if anything happened.  “Your name is Yoshimori?” She confirmed and that was the end of the encounter.

The feeling of being completely erased from someone’s memory was a bombshell to Ryoichi.  He suddenly remembered an incident from the past. Maki was crying, so Ryoichi took her to her grandfather’s. The next day, he asked if she was OK, but she completely forgot. It was like the incident was wiped off her mind.  Now it was happening again with Kyoko.  He was completely gone from her memories. His chest tightened and he had this uneasy feeling, disgust even, about Memory Man.

Ryoichi saw Kyoko in class a couple of days later. She was talking with friends about going to an alumni speaker event. The speaker was a young lawyer and supposedly quite hot. Ryoichi followed her… for some reason, he didn’t have the urge to go up to her and ask her to remember him.  The lawyer, Takahara Tomoaki, told the attendants they could ask him anything.  

Ryoichi asked “If someone lost their memory and it was caused by this person, will there be consequences?”

Takahara said, “You mean, are memories protected by law? Ethically, if it was done without consent, then it is wrong. But since this is not within the boundaries of criminal law, it will not be punished.”  Kyoko had no reaction to this discussion about Memory Man at all.

Over the next year, Ryoichi never really talked to Kyoko again. He also saw her less and less. Maki started to get more grown up, but she was still hanging around Ryoichi’s room like she used to.  Did Maki’s meet the Memory Man as well? Is it possible that two people in his life had their memory erased? Ryoichi became obsessed.  

Takahara called him out of the blue. “Do you want to talk about Memory Man? You live near XXXX, let’s meet.”  

How did Takahara get his phone number and know where he lived?  He didn’t remember giving Takahara his number.  Did his memory also get erased?

Ryoichi realized he may be the third known victim of Memory Man.

Continue to part 2