#wow this has been sitting in my draft box for how long uhhh...

[chaotic-kitty]

Last Legacy: Randomly Generated Scenarios

This has been sitting in my drafts folder for a very long time. Thought I'd just post it. Sorry if there are any mistakes.

MC: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Felix: Rude.

Sage: That's fair.

Anisa: Not again.

Rime: Are you going to want this back?

MC: Good morning.

Felix: Good morning.

Sage: Good morning.

Anisa: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Rime: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

MC: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Anisa: To the city?

MC: Yeah, no matter what!

Rime: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

MC: I…. I don't know!

Felix: Oh come off it, be serious!

MC: I am serious!

Felix: You're insane!

Sage: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

MC: What???

Sage: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

Felix, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

MC: Nothing in life is free.

Felix: Love is free!

Sage: Adventure is free

Anisa: Knowledge is free

Rime: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

MC: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Sage will and will not eat.

Felix: Grass? Yes!

MC: Moss? Yes!!

Felix: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

MC: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Felix: Worms? Sometimes!

MC: Rocks? Usually nah.

Felix: Twigs? Usually!

MC: Rime's cooking? Inconclusive!

Anisa: How did you…. test this?

MC: You just hand them stuff and say 'eat this' and if they eat it, they eat it.

Anisa: ... I don't know how to feel about this.

Rime: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

MC: Bye Felix! Bye Sage! Bye Anisa! Bye Rime! Bye Felix!

Sage: You said "bye Felix' twice.

MC: I like Felix.

MC: So uhhh.. My question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine. Uncooked.

Anisa: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Rime: In your pantry!

MC: Yeah…. and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'… … How do I make them stop?

Anisa: Is your friend here?

MC, motioning to Felix: Yeah.

Anisa, to Felix: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >: (

Sage: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Sage: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?!

Sage: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN

Everyone else: No.

Sage, to Anisa and Rime: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS

Anisa: YAAAAAAAAY!

Rime: THE PRESTIGE!

MC: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Felix: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Rime: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Sage: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Anisa: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFFIlI

MC: What does 'take out' mean?

Anisa: Food.

Felix: Dating

Rime: Murder

Sage: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

MC: You're a loose cannon, Felix.

Felix: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Sage: I think you play by your own rules.

Anisa: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

MC: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Felix: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Rime is a loose cannon.

Rime: *smashes a chair*

MC: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Felix: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Sage: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Anisa: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Rime: My moral code, is that you?

MC:

MC: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

MC: Time for plan G.

Felix: Don't you mean plan B?

MC: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Sage: What about plan D?

MC: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Anisa: What about plan E?

MC: I'm hoping not to use it. Rime dies in plan E.

Tulsi: I like plan E.

*The squad is over at MC's house*

Felix: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

MC:.. N-No.

MC, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Felix, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Sage: I see a-

MC, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Felix: Oh. well I-

MC: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

MC, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Anisa: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Rime: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

MC: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

MC: I am someone who owns four ovens..

MC, louder and way too happy: I am someone…. who owns FOUR OVENS.

MC: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens..

Tulsi, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

MC:

Felix: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

MC:

MC, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

(If you got that reference, you’re a legend)

MC: Well, aren't you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you're out to save the world!

Felix: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.

Sage: More or less, I guess..

Anisa: That sounds awesome! Let's do that!

Rime: I'm new here, but I am open to the concept.

Tulsi: I thought that's what we were doing, guys, come on!

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

MC: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know

Everyone:

Felix: ...I did. I broke it.

MC: No. No you didn't. Sage?

Sage: Don't look at me. Look at Anisa.

Anisa: What?! I didn't break it.

Sage: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Anisa: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Sage: Suspicious.

Anisa: No, it's not!

Rime: If it matters, probably not, but Tulsi was the last one to use it.

Tulsi: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Rime: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Tulsi: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Rime!

Felix: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, MC

MC: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Rime: MC... Sage's been awfully quiet.

Sage: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

MC, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

MC: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

MC:

MC: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you**

MC: Thanks fam!

Felix: oh no

Sage: *cries* I love you too

Anisa: Sounds fake but okay

Rime: *A flustered mess*

Tulsi: can i get a refund

MC: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Felix: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Sage: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Anisa: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade

Rime: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Tulsi:

Tulsi: I have emotional scars.

MC: Felix…… How do I begin to explain Rime?

Sage: Rime is flawless.

Anisa: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000

Felix: I hear they do car commercials… in Japan.

Tulsi: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

MC: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Felix: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents

MC: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Sage: Actually I did the math, Felix would have $225, not $0.15.

Felix: Fam I'm right here..

Anisa: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

MC: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Anisa: Sorry I only have a dollar

MC: :(

Sage: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Felix would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Anisa: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Sage: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Rime: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Sage: Apply juice to what

Tulsi: Directly to the forehead

Felix: Great chat everyone

MC: Rules are made to be broken.

Felix: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Sage: Uh, piñatas.

Anisa: Glow sticks.

Rime: Karate boards.

Tulsi: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

MC: Rules.

Felix:

MC: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Felix: Okay, but what is updog?

Sage: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish,

Anisa: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Rime: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Tulsi: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

MC: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Anisa: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Sage: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Felix: What's a henway??

MC: Oh, about five pounds.

MC: We need to distract these guys

Felix: Leave it to me

Felix: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Sage, Anisa, and Rime: *Immediately begin arguing*

Tulsi, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

MC, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Felix: Hey.

Sage: Hi.

Anisa: Hello.

Rime: Hey!

MC: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Tulsi: We were out of Doritos.

MC: Hewwo.

Felix: Hihiiiiii!

Tulsi: Greetings, Humans

Rime: Three kinds of people

Anisa: I want pudding.

MC: Four kinds of people.

Sage: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?

Rime: Five kinds of people.

MC: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Felix: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Sage: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Felix, learn to listen.

Anisa: What if it bites itself and I die?

Rime: That's voodoo.

Tulsi: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Felix: That's correlation, not causation.

Anisa: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Rime: That's kinky.

MC: Oh my God.

MC: Just be yourself.

Felix: 'Be myself'? MC, I have one day to win Sage over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Anisa: Couple weeks.

Rime: Six months.

Tulsi: Jury's still out.

Felix: See, MC?

Felix: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Sage: Why are MC and Felix sitting with their backs to each other?

Anisa: They had a fight.

Sage: Then why are they holding hands?

Anisa: They get sad when they fight.

MC: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Felix: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

MC: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING SAGE WITH ME

Anisa, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

MC: You know those things will kill you, right?

Felix, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.

Sage, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.

Anisa: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Saaros: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited

Anisa: If?

MC: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.

Saaros: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Anisa: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Saaros: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

MC: edible

Saaros: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Anisa?

Anisa: ... No.

MC: I do!

Saaros: I know, MC.

MC: I'm sad!

Saaros: I know, MC.

Saaros: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it

Anisa: Just rip the bandage off.

Saaros: It's MC

Anisa: Put the bandage back on.

Saaros, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Anisa, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you're staying home and having my kids

MC: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Saaros: playing systemic oppression.

Saaros: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything that Anisa does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

MC: If Anisa were to jump off a cliff, they would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Anisa jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Saaros: You jump off a cliff!

MC: Gladly. Provided Anisa did first.

Saaros: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Anisa: *turning to MC* How tall are you?

*Saaros and Anisa sitting in jail together*

Anisa: So who should we call?

Saaros: I'd call MC, but I feel safer in jail.

Saaros: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Anisa: Wasn't MC with you?

MC: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Saaros: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Anisa, amazed: Wow.

MC, to Anisa: Well what does that mean?

Anisa: I don't know.

Anisa, to Saaros: What does that mean?

Saaros: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Anisa: Have everyone stand.

MC: Bring three more chairs!

Sage: The most important ones can sit down.

Felix: Kill three.

Saaros: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends

Anisa: ... Your what?

Saaros: My friends.

MC: Are they saying "friends"?

Sage: I think they're being sarcastic.

Felix: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Saaros! All of your friends are in this room.

Saaros: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete

tasks.

Saaros: You kidnapped Anisa? That's illegal!

MC: But Saaros, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Anisa, or destroying our dreams?

Saaros: Kidnapping Anisa, MC!!!

Sage: Saaros, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!

Saaros: What, to kidnap people?!?!

Sage: To work toqether!

Saaros: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

Felix: Saaros, we all agreed a celebrity is a not a people.

Tulsi: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Sage: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Tulsi: Hey Sage can I get a sip of your water?

Sage: It's not water.

Tulsi: Vodka, I like your style!

Sage: It's vinegar.

Tulsi: Wh-Wha-

Sage: It's vinegar, COWARD.

Tulsi: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.

Sage: Tulsi, that's a coma.

Tulsi: Sounds festive.

Tulsi: You kill people for money?!

Sage: I can explain!

Tulsi: And all this time I've been doing it for free like a chump!

Tulsi: Do you think you'd actually notice if someone didn't cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn't Notice It?

Sage: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!

Tulsi: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I'm glad I could be an inspiration.

Tulsi: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Sage: Killed without hesitation.

Tulsi: No.

Tulsi: That's one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut.

Sage: You would eat yourself?

Tulsi: I wouldn't even question it.

Felix, tending to Rime's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Rime: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Felix: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes

Rime: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD

Felix: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

Felix: This is a mistake

Rime, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Felix: But not today

Rime, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess.

Felix: Is something burning?

Rime: Just my love for you.

Felix: Rime, the toaster is on fire.

Felix: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Rime: How can you still say that?

Felix: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Felix: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Rime: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Felix: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Felix: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Rime: I do have a sense of humor you know

Felix: I've never heard you laugh before

Rime: I've never heard you say anything funny

Felix: So that's my plan.

Rime: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Felix: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Rime: It fucking sucks.

Felix: That's not constructive criticism.

Felix: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Rime: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

Rime: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Felix: Twelve, actually.

Rime: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Felix: Yours!

Rime: That's right: no one's.

Felix: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Rime: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

Felix, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don't really think heels are for me

Rime, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

Felix: God, give me patience.

Rime: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Felix: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Felix: Rime, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Rime: Well of course I have.

Rime: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Rime: It's boring.

[heart-ruled-moved]

@somegremlin ( From Junko ) ll I Lost the Starter Call

🧸 “Heeey, you’re the little one Nagisa-kun brought in yesterday, aren’t you?” The girl put on a gentle and what should be comforting smile to the child. Careful not to intrude his space, she sat down on the floor next to him, among all the art supplies the other ‘Warriors of Hope’ probably took from Jataro’s things ( oh he’d be pleased to find  the others hated him enough to be that disrespectful, wouldn’t he? Silly kid. ). 

“They’ve probably mentioned me....big sis Junko ring a bell for you, sweetie?”