#wow these things just get messier and messier

[corpish]

my life rn feels like a movie but like I have NO idea who the screenwriters are bc every twist is wild

[graveyard-stray]

Morning Workout | Aaron Hotchner x F!Reader

Blurb

A/N: This is loosely based on that scene with David and Aaron in the elevator where he’s like “you workout this morning?” And hotch is awkwardly like “I didn’t…”

WC: 955

Includes: Mentions of sex, no actual smut, established relationship, secret relationship (not for long), the team makes fun of you and Hotch

It was an average morning in Virginia, It was warm out and the sun was shining brightly over Quantico. Aaron had just arrived at work, having dropped Jack off to school just before heading here.

He was dawning his usual suit and tie, and his briefcase was clutched tightly in his left hand. As he approached the elevator it opened, perfect timing he thought to himself before entering.

The elevator rode up two floors before stopping, the doors slid open to let someone else on. “Morning.” rang the familiar voice of his friend and coworker, David Rossi. “Goodmorning Dave.” He greeted him with a small smile.

David though looked him up and down as he stood next to him, the elevator now resuming its motion up. It didn’t take a profiler to notice Dave’s staring, and Hotch was confused. He turned and hummed inquisitively.

“You workout this morning?” David asks with a smirk, motioning with his eyes to Hotch’s hair which was messier than his usual perfectly kept look, and his tie which was coming undone. Hotch looks down before clearing his throat nervously and reaching up to fix his tie.

“I didn’t.” He mumbles as he makes an attempt to fix his appearance. Dave laughs to himself, “hmm I wonder who the lucky lady is.” He teases. Aaron stands up straighter than he already was, to try and be serious and not obvious, “its not what your thinking. Just issues taking Jack to school is all.” He said, which he had to admit was a horrible excuse.

Before Dave could reply the elevator stopped and the doors opened, allowing Aaron the perfect escape to a very awkward conversation. Dave on the other hand, knew he needed to figure out who Hotch was seeing and he knew it wouldn’t take long to get it out of him.

Hotch pushed open the glass doors to the BAU office and wasted no time heading up to his personal office, David entering the bullpen right behind him.

The first thing Rossi noticed upon entering the office was you, you were smiling and had this certain glow to you that was strange. Usually in the morning you were grumpy and tired, but not today. Today you were very awake and in a very good mood. The dots immediately connected in his head, you got laid this morning, by the one and only Aaron Hotchner.

Rossi quickly approached you, “someone’s in a good mood.” He teased as he placed his bag down on his desk. You turned to face him, “yeah, aren’t I always?” you responded with a smile. He chuckled, “not this early in the morning.”

You rolled your eyes at him before Derek also approached, “that’s exactly what I said.” He comments. “Your glowing kid.” he added. This warrants another eye roll from you, “Ya know I’m not that much younger than you Morgan.” You respond but Derek knows what your doing.

“Oh no no no, don’t you try to change the subject, You got some this morning, all I’m wondering is who!” He questioned, he was right of course. You nervously gazed up at Aaron’s office hoping to see him there but, he has already shut himself inside. This was the huge tell and you knew it.

Derek’s jaw practically dropped, “oh my god. You and- oh my god!” He laughed. you turned back to him quickly, “I don’t know what your talking about I am fine! I’m good!” you frantically defend.

In the mess of things Emily comes over, “now what is happening over here, it’s too early for all this chaos.” She questioned. Derek was still laughing, “Ya know why she’s in a good mood this morning?” He asked rhetorically. Emily cocked a brow at him. “She had a sweet wake up this morning, her and hotch!” upon hearing this Emily gasped.

“Are you SERIOUS!” She exclaimed, a big smile making its way onto her face. “WOW, you and hotch. I must be bad at my job because I did not see that coming!” She said as she sat down, truly in disbelief.

Rossi chimed in, “You should’ve seen Hotch this morning. Hair a mess, tie coming undone. It was truly a sight to behold.” He chuckled, half at the situation and half the teams reactions.

You were practically sweating at this point, very embarrassed infront of your team. Luckily for you, Aaron noticed the commotion and emerged from his office. “Do you all not have work to do? Because I would be happy to assign somethings.” He scolds from the balcony by his office. Everyone jumps at the sudden sound of his voice and the quickly nod and apologize.

“Oh and (Y/N), my office please.” He adds before going back to no his office, followed by the oooing and whistling of the team members.

You closed the door behind you as you stepped into his office, he was leaning against the edge of his desk and looking at you softly. “I take it they figured us out?” He asks, a little smile ghosting his lips.

All you could do was nod softly, “yeah..I’m so sorry Aaron! I didn’t mean to make it obvious, I didn’t even think it was.” you defended, a frown on your face. Aaron came over to you, placing a large calloused hand on your cheek. “Sweetheart. It’s alright. They were bound to find out eventually” he assured you.

“Your really not mad?” You asked meekly. He pressed a kiss to your temple and smiled down at you. “I promise.” He said.

You knew the team would continue to tease you about it, but you were sorta glad you could share your love for Aaron with your closest friends.

[waldau-archived]

mine — jeon wonwoo | 1,318 words | fluff

inspired by @boorines' post about bf!wonwoo :)

gender neutral reader. warnings: none.

wonwoo doesn’t mind doing grocery runs as a punishment for making you wake up late on weekends, mainly because he doesn’t consider them as a punishment at all. it’s not his fault — work knocks him out like a log, and he loves spending all of his free time with you. he doesn’t leave bed till you’re out, but he doesn’t let go of you till he’s had his fill of holding you in his arms. it’s a win, either way.

he trails behind you on lazy mornings you spend at home, adoring the way you ruffle his bedhead and make it even messier, only because it brings a smile to your face. he loves when you place his glasses on his face so he can see you the way you deserve to be seen. he also loves when you make him sit and watch you move about the kitchen, letting him help every now and then and feeding him bites in between your cooking so he can gauge how it tastes.

it’s safe to say wonwoo’s smitten with you to the point he’d do anything you asked of him, which is why he hasn’t once considered the option of getting groceries home delivered ever since you moved in with him. he just loves being around you, however he can. and if it means walking around your local supermarket dressed in last night’s pajamas, it doesn’t matter, because he’s with you.

wonwoo loves spending precious time arguing about what brand of headphones are the best and debating about the benefits of skimmed milk. every single trip to the store always ends up with both of you buying a slab of this particular chocolate you hooked wonwoo onto a while ago. maybe it’s a good thing your niece is a sugar maniac, because you’re visiting her later this afternoon.

what he doesn’t love, however, is how he’s feeling right now. you’re not even doing anything wrong. you’re just talking to some guy in the frozen foods aisle, a carton of ice cream in your hand and your basket in the other. wonwoo’s itching to take the basket from you for two reasons: one, because he wants you to enjoy shopping while he carries your stuff around, and two, because he can’t think of a better way to break up the conversation between you and whoever this man is.

this man, who’s making you laugh on a saturday morning that should be spent with wonwoo, teaching you the ropes to the latest game he’s found on steam, tickling you till he hears that laugh, and having you rest your head on his shoulder when he’s reading.

not this.

he’s not jealous. of course not. but there’s no way this guy is funny enough to make you laugh the way you currently are. wonwoo knows you’ve laughed at lesser stuff he’s done and said, so he doesn’t really see what this guy possibly has on him.

he looks down at the packet of ramyeon in his hands before walking up to the two of you. he can’t help but grudgingly notice that the guy does look good, and henceforth, is a bit of a threat. wonwoo doesn’t have a grand plan, per se, to get this random stranger to leave you alone, but he begins by clearing his throat.

“your favourite flavour,” he says, dropping the packet unceremoniously into the basket you’re holding.

your conversation stops — which is kind of what he wanted — but now he’s faced with two sets of eyes staring at him.

“um,” he says, fazed by the sudden attention.

“thank you,” you say with a smile. wonwoo feels himself frowning. you didn’t call him baby or any of the usual endearments you do when you’re talking to him. not even his nickname. just thank you, like he’s some friend of yours.

which brings him back to the person at hand.

“did you want something?” you ask.

wow. yes, actually. “no,” he says, backing out slowly. “i’ll just…be there,” he says, pointing in the general vicinity of whatever’s to his left. you raise an eyebrow. he realizes he’s looking at the seafood aisle. ah. shit. “yeah.”

wonwoo could blame his grogginess for the stupid thing he’s just said, but he knows he’s far from groggy and that you can see through him better than you can see through glass. he just resigns himself to buying some of your favourite snacks so you can let him off the hook.

however, he is as curious as a cat and can’t let it slide when you’re done loading your groceries in the backseat.

“so, who was that?” he asks, starting up the car.

“i didn’t know you were okay with seafood,” you say. he doesn’t need to look at you to see you’re trying not to laugh.

“that doesn’t answer my question,” he huffs, looking into the rearview mirror. the lot is empty. he wonders if he can spot the guy around.

“that was chan,” you say simply, rolling down your window.

“chan?”

“mm. old friend from college.”

“how come i’ve never heard of him before?”

“because i haven’t met him in a long time.”

“so that’s why you were all…”

you turn to look at him. “all what?” there’s the beginnings of a grin on your face. a mischievous, i know what you’re thinking grin. he’s been caught, and he doesn’t like it. he refuses to answer.

the rest of the drive home is spent in silence, thankfully.

“oh, no,” you exclaim a bit sadly, when you finish putting away the last of the groceries. “we forgot the chocolate.”

wonwoo can’t hold back any longer. ignoring the surprised noise you let out when he lifts you up, he carries you to the kitchen counter and puts you down, hands on either side of your body trapping you in place.

“i think you’re forgetting something else,” he says, eye to eye with you. he loves the height difference you have, but he also loves it when he gets to see you flustered from this close.

“i’m…what?”

“mine,” he whispers, before he captures your lips in a kiss. your hands immediately find their way into his hair, pulling him closer with a tug.

“you’re mine,” he says again, pulling away to cup your face in his hands. “only i can make you laugh like that.”

you blink up at him. “you want me not to laugh every time someone else cracks a joke?”

wonwoo huffs. “there’s no way he was that funny.”

you let out a little giggle, the one he loves so much. “you’re being silly, baby,” you chide, taking one of his hands off your face and pressing a kiss to it. he’s the one who’s supposed to be doing that to you, but now it’s his heart that’s fluttering. “and besides, chan already knows about us. we reconnected a few weeks back, and he’s been wanting to meet you.”

wonwoo feels silly now. “i didn’t…know.”

“yeah. now imagine if he invites us out for dinner to that seafood place next week.”

wonwoo lets out a groan and leans down to put his forehead to yours. “i’m an idiot.”

“i know that.”

he glares at you. “i thought you loved me.”

“i do! besides, you know my niece is going to kill me if we ever break up, so we’re stuck together. forever. get it? forever?”

wonwoo pulls away to look at you, and he’s sure the lovesick gaze on your face matches the one on his. “i get it,” he says, sealing his promise to you by pressing another kiss to your lips. “and i’m yours, too.”

you smile at him. “want to go get that chocolate before we see her today?”

wonwoo’s already picking up his car keys before you finish your sentence. how could grocery runs ever be a punishment, when he gets to do them with you?

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae

[hanmaitani]

Moving

PAIRING - Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader WC - 1.1K GENRE - fluff CW - mentions of drinking, mentions of spiders SYNOPSIS - when kiyoomi comes home after drinking with the team, he's not sure if his roommate had gone crazy...

“Get on the table, Kiyoo!” That was the first thing that Kiyoomi heard when he stepped into his shared apartment. That, immediately followed by a tug on his shirt as you tugged at him to join you on the higher surface.

“What?” He cinched his eyebrows together as he looked at you thoroughly confused. “Why would I-”

"Don’t argue. Just do it." You cut him off and tugged more. He groaned and tilted his head back before clambering up to crouch on the table with you.

“Can you tell-” He glared as you cut him off with a soft ‘shh’ and a finger to your lips. His soft eye roll didn’t stop him from complying, however; lowering his voice to a whisper. “Y/n,” you hummed softly in acknowledgement, “why are we on the coffee table right now.”

“Listen carefully Kiyoomi.” You whispered, giving him a deadly serious look. "Whatever you do, don’t make a sound." Kiyoomi stared at you, lips parting in confusion and eyes widening, a look that clearly conveyed he thought you’d hit your head. “It can hear you Kiyoomi. They sense your fear!”

He sighed but decided to play along with what he was sure was your game of the night. “What can sense your fear? What are you scared of?”

“Okay, here’s the plan.” You muttered, ignoring him and waving your hands. Kiyoomi was sure that you had lost it while he was gone for the day. He’d have to have you committed and find a new roommate. But he couldn’t help the small smile on his lips as you whispered adamantly, ready to spell out a whole escape plan. “So, I think we’re safe here right now, but if it senses us it’ll follow us out here.”

“What is going to follow us?”

“Hush, Kiyoo, lemme finish!” You whined lightly as you eyed the entrance to the kitchen across the room. “Okay so, once we get down, we run.” You nodded and Kiyoomi caught himself watching the way your head bobbed gently, eyes determined with a small sparkle. He chuckled lightly as he watched you. “You gotta pack your things.” His attention snapped back to your words and he tilted his head in confusion. “But only the essentials! No time!” You exclaimed quietly, turning your gaze back to him for confirmation that he heard you.

“Slow down.” Kiyoomi requested, shaking his head lightly as he tried to keep up. “What are we doing?”

“We’re moving out.” You looked at him seriously. He shook his head as if that would help him hear better, blinking at you slowly. “Kiyoomi, there’s a spider in the kitchen, we’re leaving."

You looked so serious about it but Kiyoomi couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the absurdness of it all. “Kiyoo!” You drew out his name in disbelief.

“I’m sorry.” He laughed again, and tucked his head low, trying to stifle his laughter. “I thought there was something really wrong.”

“Kiyoo, it was huge! We can’t live here anymore!” You exclaimed as Kiyoomi’s laugh echoed and got a little louder.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He chuckled as he looked back up at you, his eyes sparkling as he bit his lip, laugh bubbling out of him again. You whined his name again and he laughed. “God, I’m sorry I love you.” He froze as soon as the words left his mouth, his eyes widening as he realized what he’d just said. “Fuck.” He breathed out.

“I���m sorry, what?” You stared at him in shock, blinking at him in disbelief.

“Oh wow.” Kiyoomi, sat down on top of the table, shaking his head lightly. "I think I may be slightly more drunk than I thought." It was then that you remembered that the reason he’d come home late was because the team had convinced him to go out. Then, that you noticed his cheeks were a little pinker that usual, curls a little messier as he sat there, breathing a little uneven.

“Kiyoomi, did you-” You swallowed as you sat, suddenly forgetting about the spider predicament in the other room. You cleared your throat as you looked at him and he looked back up at you, smile softly on his lips.

“Well, cat’s out of the bag I suppose.” He chuckled lightly as he stared at you. He took a deep breath and twitched his nose a bit. “I love you.” He let out a soft snort right then too. “I’m glad I’m drunk.”

“Kiyoo-”

"Listen,” he mumbled, shaking his head again, “I didn’t tell you that I love you because I wanted to hear it back.” He quirked a smile as he watched your face contort, trying to process the information being thrown at you. “I don’t need to hear it back. I told you because I needed you to know."

“Kiyoo-”

“I know that-”

“Kiyoo, shut up!” You exclaimed, tired of being cut off by the man. He looked softer like this, when his guard wasn’t up and he wasn’t glaring at something. Vulnerable, baring his feelings to you, in a way that was totally him. Blunt and to the point, not at all dancing around the truth. You decided to pay him the same courtesy. “Kiyoomi, I love you too, you dumbass.”

“You do?” It was his turn to look at you shocked now, eyes wide. It was like he was frozen in place, brain trying to catch up to the words his ears heard. He chuckled as he leaned forward slightly, small smile on his lips as he finally processed the words. “You do.”

You nodded lightly, trying to bite back the laughter that bubbled in your chest. “So.” You drew out the word with a puff of air out your nose. "Is this the moment that we kiss?"

“Yeah.” Kiyoomi smiled as he leaned towards you. His arm quickly wrapped around your waist as he drew you closer to him. You easily fell on top of him with a laugh that was quickly silence by his lips on yours.

“Hey Kiyoo,” you mumbled as you pulled away from him slightly. He hummed in acknowledgement, lips trying to chase yours down again. “We still have to move because of the spider.”

Kiyoomi let out a loud laugh as shook his head at you, bright smile on his lips. “Shut up.” He chuckled as he pressed his lips against yours again.

TAGLIST -

@intergalacticrory @tsukiran @awkwardaardvarkforever @all-in-the-fandoms @mightyknight501

@lacunaanonymoused @pearl-blue-musings @qichun @megumuro @s0uldarling

@samus-onigiri-stand @seiri-ously @deepenthevoid @albakugo @winniethepooh-lover

@stunies @all-in-the-fandoms @little-miss-naill @ivy-taylorsversion @lumestar

@theycallmenanamisgirl @iluv-ace @appalost @mayoforthewin @rockrose-blossoms

@afire24

[m3vl0vesu]

Too safe

Red Hood x Reader No real warning, just a bit of sleep deprivation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

A tired Red Hood had just stepped into your apartment for the umpteenth time this month. Despite him being built like a tank, you never, never, heard him coming in. It’s not exactly the best thought to know that the crime lord could just easily break into this shitty place you called home. If being on the fifth floor didn’t stop him, why and how would some lousy lock? 

.

.

He’s less than pleased when he sees his latest interest wide awake. That was another thing you also should be concerned about, the way he had a habit of breaking in just to…watch you sleep. Not in a weird way! Of course, it was…friendly. Yeah, friendly. He watched you through the helmet, the way your eyes were barely paying attention to the bright screen, the way your hair looked messier than usual, the way the only sound that filled the room was your breathing. He loved and hated seeing his precious person so exhausted. Your skin crawled at the robotic voice calling your name, almost jumping. But you knew, knew that it was him, knew that he’s been later than usual and that he’d probably try to drag your body to bed

“Red.” Wow, when did your throat get so dry? Where was the water bottle, or water bottles? You rubbed at your eyes, it didn’t help but oh well. What was the time? You were still in your apartment right? You were so out of it, countless hours had passed since your e/c eyes weren't glued to a device that your eyes actually stung when you looked away. “It’s almost four.” The robotic voice spoke again, that pounding head of yours finally faced the familiar tic tac shaped helmet. “I…knew that.” Nope, you did not. “Why aren’t you asleep?” For some reason he had the ability to pull the answers out of you, even if your brain didn’t really process the questions. Maybe it came with the whole vigilante schtick. Or the fact that he had killed people before…probably the latter. “Can’t.” The one word answers and shrugs will have to do for now, you needed water. Sadly the water bottles that were scattered in front of you were all empty. Huh. You didn’t remember drinking all that, but then again most of the week was a blur. Work, home, Gotham's shittiness. All an endless cycle of despair that you were trapped in… “Hey.” Right. Red was still here “Hm?” Or was she hallucinating again? God, everything felt heavy. The clothes on your back, the hair on your head…your eyes…

.

.

.

“Drink this.” Huh? Oh, right. He was here.

Your eyes glanced at the littered coffee table, clean water in a clean glass. Swore they were all dirty. As one hand steadied her laptop sitting on her…lap, one lifted the glass to your lips. It soothed your dry throat but it was an odd feeling knowing who was staring at you, well you didn’t really know him but you get the gist. His presence certainly didn’t go unnoticed, I mean who could ignore the literal brick wall towering over them as they sat on their worn out couch. Not you. “Your eyes are bloodshot” were they? “And your eye bags…” Hearing the sigh that escaped him didn’t surprise you, after all failure expects disappointment. As seconds pass by you continue with the doom-scrolling, eyes only just scanning over the media. There's a second sigh, you practically could hear the eye roll. “No more, of whatever you're doing.” he said, gesturing towards you. Ouch. Why did that kinda hurt? Did you need to be doing something right now? Emails…? As your brain tries to use its last working cells you feel the device being pulled away from your hands. “No-hey…” you tried your best to be annoyed but really you were too weak to fight back. You did need sleep but…no you couldn’t. “Let's get you to bed.” Curse him. Curse his amazing physique, curse his demanding aura, curse him. Even with the voice modulator you could tell that he was being genuinely caring, something you probably needed. “But I have stuff to do, I know it. Maybe with work I...”

You were rambling, your ears tuning out the sound of your own voice. Why was this armed man never annoyed with you? You could faintly feel his gloved hands on the small of her back. Gloved, they were always gloved. Maybe he was a germaphobe? Hah…that would be funny. You feel the softness of your covers take over you and you realise he’s winning. “My laptop is-” “Safe and not needed.” Awh. You wanted the last word.

 Knowing this was the first time you had touched your bed in like 58 hours was making it hard to come up with some snarky remark. Maybe…a nap wouldn’t hurt. Was she still rambling, was he still here? She probably should be hoping that he wasn’t but for some reason, some idiotic reason, she felt safe with him. Too safe…but it was probably nothing. . . . He was tired, but seeing you finally asleep set something off in him. This certainly wasn’t the last time he would smile softly at her behind the helmet, and it certainly wasn’t the first. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A/N:I am very sleep deprived sadly :'( Always let me know what you think and what I could improve on!! Like always M3v loves YOU

[dancingdonatello]

hi there! i literally can NOT get enough of your writing, it's so good omg

so i was just brainstorming (thought this up like a few seconds ago so sorry if it's crappy or something)

but could i request a rise!donnie x gn!reader where the reader is just like completely unimpressed by donnie and everything he does, so when donnie noticeably becomes hurt by it (because it's basically like a huge gunshot to his ego) the reader softens up almost immediately out of sympathy

i would elaborate more but this ask is already getting long and i want to see your take on this :) again, sorry if it's bad or just confusing (or if you've already written something similar to it idk), i understand that you could be very busy so ignore this if you'd like

have an amazing day!

rottmnt donnie x gn reader

“So, what do you think?”

You stared at the contraption that Donnie was holding in front of you. You waited for him to press a button or whatever but instead he held it higher for you to see.

“Um, does it do anything? Is it like a decoration… or?” You gave him a confused look when nothing moved or flashed or anything.

He puffed out his chest, a confident look in his eyes. “It’s meant to—”

A puff of smoke hit him directly in the face face and you grimaced as he coughed.

Then it began to shake in his hands.

He jumped, immediately trying to set it down when it exploded, sending scraps of metal everywhere. He yelped, shaking his slightly burnt hands out in pain.

More and more of his inventions were becoming messier and easier to break. He was always so eager to show them to you too and you couldn’t figure out why.

You brushed the debris off of your shirt, glancing at him and noticing how he scrunched in on himself.

“Um, it could’ve been cool? If it had, y’know, worked? I guess?” You tried, shrugging your shoulders. You were more worried about whether this black dust would stain your new clothes. You really didn’t want to go shopping again so soon.

You turned to leave when you heard a loud bang. You jolted, looking over your shoulder.

Donnie had placed the remnants of his invention of his desk and collapsed in his chair.

He looked… defeated. Your words probably did not help.

And to be honest, you thought back, had you ever complimented any of his work? You couldn’t really remember… It probably didn’t feel nice to be shrugged off when showing off your passion and then having it explode.

You sighed, looking around. “Wow… that thing looks cool!”

“…The microwave?” He sounded confused.

“Um… yeah!” You ran over, pressing some buttons. “I love the sounds… it makes. Good button noises. Nice beeps too.”

He stared at you and you swallowed nervously before his expression brightened. “You… love it?”

“Yep!” You pressed another button. “Super awesome.”

He was suddenly in front of you, tail wagging behind him. “You want one? I can make you one. What color do you want? I highly recommend purple… but I could be convinced to do another color.”

You left the lair with three different microwaves, struggling to get home with all the weight. You hoped a microwave thief wouldn’t cross your path.

[disneyprincemuke]

midnights, 7 * mv1

the news is out: three time world champion, max verstappen, and his girlfriend of 6 years have been broken up since the singapore weekend.

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: -

notes: wow i took thE longest break from this

(series masterlist)

(prev) // (next)

max isn’t typically the type to let panic settle in. at least, that’s what he likes to think. he likes to tell people he’s not bothered but outsiders are always quick to catch up with his suppressed emotions. 

alas, his worst fears have come true. news has broken that you’ve been broken up for almost 2 months. 

he has not been able to talk about it with daniel, so he can only imagine how things will break down in austin. 

he hopes that it’s not actually that big of a deal. plenty of other drivers have gotten themselves in messier breakups — the post doesn’t seem to touch on any speculations about how yours had come about. he can only bank on the hope that journalists are empathetic enough not to bring you up. 

but you’ve been very involved in his career and the cameras on the paddocks. they never missed the chance to have you speak into a mic or have a private conversation with you. 

pictures snapped of you together are never posted, but would be directly sent to either of you to truly encompass the privacy of your relationship. the respect shared between you and everyone on the paddocks was treasured, which is probably why your presence had been notable after you abruptly disappeared. 

he sinks into his couch, phone in hand as he stares at the pictures that sparked up speculations. it’s a low-quality picture of you leaving the red bull home, head down as your hair shied you away from the camera. the second picture is of him coming out of the building, hair dishevelled as he stood with his arms folded over his chest.

“what do i do?” max mumbles, his finger swiping over the screen again and again, staring at the two pictures. as if it would change the course of things if he did it enough. “do i talk to her?”

“i don’t know, man,” daniel sighs, his face in the far corner of max’s screen. “i mean, the best you can do is to wait it out, right?”

“rumours could spread,” charles mutters, looking away briefly with his eyes widened. “if i were you, i’d want to do some damage control. but that’s probably just me.”

max sits back, staring at the empty half of his hotel bed. your absence is always noted when he’s all alone and he's too awake for his own good, once having the luxury of your company and bright smile making him feel giddy.

the difference between this breakup and all of charles' is that there is no controversy in this one. as far as he's concerned, this is all speculation from photos that are now circulating the internet and your obvious absence on race weekends.

nobody can even really confirm if it's true unless you or max say something. for now, they're just rumours. right?

unless you've started speaking to people, and gossip platforms. but you wouldn't do any of that, or at least that's what he's telling himself. but from what he can dig out of the grave in his brain, there was nothing that happened between you that can be twisted.

but what does he know?

he can only keep praying to the fact that you'll keep it as private as you usually do.

his phone is buzzing endlessly, his other friends sending him texts as the news shocks them as much as the world. lando is asking him if he's holding up fine, martin is expressing how he feels for max, and his own mother asking him why he hadn't told her earlier.

only victoria's message will be getting an answer. after all, she's the first person that found out.

"should i talk to her?" max thinks out loud, maximising the facetime call to get a good look at his friends' reactions. "she never does well with things like this, what if people are bothering her?"

charles' picture is overtaken by alexandra's face, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. "you wanna talk to her?"

max shrugs. "i don't know. maybe?"

"would that be the best choice though?" daniel tilts his head. behind him, heidi is approaching cautiously with a small smile. "babe, what do you think?"

heidi shrugs as daniel's camera slowly turns to her. "my opinion is probably not - it's been two months. and judging by the comments that i read, i don't think there's much disrespect that has to be told off publicly."

alexandra nods as charles slowly comes back into the frame next to her. "it's up to you, max. as of right now, it doesn't seem that serious."

max sighs again, this time louder as he feels everything coming down on him. he drops his head back and stares at the ceiling. "i don't know, you guys," he sighs again loudly. "i just want to know if she's alright."

"maybe not now, mate," charles answers sympathetically, frowning at him through the camera.

"just wait it out. it could die down quicker than you think," daniel says hopefully.

max nods, now suddenly feeling disinterest in their conversation. he only craves to be by himself now. "alright, i'll catch you guys in a bit," his eyes turn to the cats sleeping peacefully on the cat tree, "i've got to feed the cats."

taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold @princessria127 @ironmaiden1313 @dl-yum @crlsummer @brekkers-whore @minkyungseokie @honethatty12 @barelytolerabled @vellicora @lokigoeschoki @avg-golden-retriever

[rottenpumpkin13]

AGSZC who has the messier room? the cleanest?

Sephiroth and Genesis are the neat freaks of the bunch. Angeal is a compulsive cleaner, Cloud doesn't have a choice but to keep his space clean while he's in the army, and Zack is relatively clean and keeps his space organized....he just has his days. Like the time Angeal said he would inspect Zack's room as soon as he got back from his mission, but the room was no where near ready to be seen by human eyes.

*LOCATION: the land where organization goes do die, a.k.a Zack's bedroom*

Zack: Man, this is bad! Angeal comes back in three hours! How am I gonna get all this cleaned up by then??

Cloud: Relax. It's not even that bad.

Zack: Really?

Cloud: Totally. Lots of people have...a fort made out of pizza boxes, a deflated basketball used as a cereal bowl and....is that—is that a Sephiroth cardboard cutout tucked in your bed??

Zack: Shh, he's sleeping.

Cloud:

Cloud: Okay, there's no other way to do this. You need help.

Zack: I do.

Cloud: Which means we have to bring in experts to get the job done.

Zack: .....oh no....not THEM!

Cloud: Yes, them.

-

*Cloud opens the door*

Cloud: Oh good, you're here.

*Sephiroth and Genesis are standing there with cloths around their heads, surgical masks, yellow gloves, and all the cleaning supplies in the world*

Sephiroth: We heard there was bacterial growth.

Genesis: And uncleanliness.

Sephiroth, holding up his label maker: And objects that need to be organized, labeled and filed.

Genesis: And an opportunity to use my brand new disinfectant.

Zack: Wow, guys, I really appreciate this and all, but it's a heavy job. Are you sure you're willing to help without freaking out?

*They move inside the apartment*

Sephiroth: Nonsense, Zack. No job is too hard when it helps a friend.

Genesis: Yeah, and besides, it can't be that bad.

*Cloud opens the door to hell*

Genesis: OH MY GOD HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Sephiroth: THE Ḅ̂ͬ̐ͪ̑͌A͔̗͚͍͛̈̂̒͟͢͝ͅ_̵̡̰̫ͤͬͧ͟͟C̘̫͌̆ͦͧ͌̓̄̚T̴Ē̡̛͕͈͓̬̮̐ͩ̓̈ͥ͂͆ͧ̓ͫ͜R̵̡̡̳̩̻͍̠͍̫̙̥̗̻͙̼͉ͪ̏̅ͥͭ̈́͛̂̄́ͦ͗͛͂ͧͤ͊̕͡Í̶̸͕͎̮̩̤͍̹̻̬̩̂ͭͫ͌̀̏̇̇ͮ̇͋̄̀ͮͪͧ͠͞Á̸̧̢̡̘͈̝͙̻͙̖͍͍̖̉ͮ̕͞ͅ

Zack: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T FREAK OUT!

Genesis: We're not freaking out. This is....normal.

Zack: Really?

Sephiroth, walking inside the room: Yes, it's completely fine and healthy to not be able to see your own floor—*Sephiroth trips on broken bongos and face plants into a pile of stuffed animals*

Zack: Hey! My bongos! I was wondering where those went.

Genesis: See? We're organizing things already.

Sephiroth, resurfacing with a cat plushie: I'm taking this one as payment.

-

*Cloud is sweeping the floor next to a pile of dirty laundry. Suddenly the pile moves*

Cloud: ...

*The pile moves more*

Cloud, panicking: ...

*The pile moves towards Cloud*

*Cloud yells and starts beating the pile with his broomstick*

*Cait Sith jumps out of the pile*

Cloud: !?

Cait Sith: Oh-ho-ho!

*Cait Sith sprints away and out of the room, never to be seen again*

Cloud: What the heck??

Zack, coming up behind him: What?

Cloud: A strange, robot cat was in your laundry just now.

*Sephiroth walks up to the pile of laundry and takes it to be washed*

Zack: Cloud! Don't be mean! Sephiroth is only trying to help!

Cloud:

-

*Genesis opens Zack's closet door to clean, a skeleton dressed in a red leather coat and wig falls on top of him*

Genesis: WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS!?

Zack: Leave Skelesis Bonesodos alone. He isn't hurting anybody.

-

*Cloud is laying down spread eagle on a clean part of Zack's floor after Sephiroth mopped it up*

Cloud: This is so nice. I didn't even know you had heated flooring.

Zack: I HAVE HEATED FLOORING?

Cloud: Yeah, why??

*Zack dives under his bed and pulls out a pile of melted marshmallows*

Cloud: What the hell is that??

Zack: It was my marshmallow Stamp statue. Now it's just a pile of mush!

Cloud: Why would even keep that under your bed? You could attract mice.

Zack: Nah, I've never seen them, so I'm probably good.

*Sephiroth crawls out from under Zack's bed*

Sephiroth: You have the most lovely, welcoming mouse family living underneath your bed.

Zack:

-

Sephiroth: We're almost done here. Zack, why don't you and Cloud go get some fresh air while Genesis and I finish up here?

Cloud: Are you sure?

Genesis: Positive. Besides, only I can add the finishing touches. You boys go have fun.

Cloud: Alright! Come on, Cloud, let's go get Angeal.

*They leave*

*Genesis pulls out a box of scented candles*

Sephiroth: You want to put fire in Zack's bedroom?

Genesis: These candles will set the perfect mood with their apple cinnamon scent. Do you have a lighter?

Sephiroth: No.

Genesis: Does Zack have a lighter?

Sephiroth: Angeal confiscated Zack's lighter after he accidentally set his own eyebrows on fire.

Genesis: Rats.

Genesis: I don't have my bangles with me. Why don't you use your materia to light them while I go get my camera? I want to photograph my work.

Sephiroth: Alright.

*Genesis leaves the room*

Sephiroth: Lighting candles with materia sounds unsafe.

Sephiroth:

Sephiroth: Oh well. What could possibly go wrong?

-

*Zack, Cloud and Genesis are walking back inside Zack's apartment, leading Angeal*

Zack: You're gonna be so proud, Angeal! The room looks spotless!

Cloud: And Zack did it all on his own.

Genesis: HUH?

Zack: Yup! All on my own!

Genesis: MOTHER FUC—*Cloud tackles Genesis to the ground before he can spill the beans*

Angeal: I'm proud of you, buddy. You applied yourself and stayed on track. I can't wait to see how your room looks.

Zack: :)

*Angeal opens the door*

*Angeal closes the door*

Angeal: Call the police.

[yellowocaballero]

“I’m afraid I must call you out of retirement for a final mission.”

Cold ice shot through Tobi’s chest. Fuck.

Did he know? He couldn’t. If he knew, he wouldn’t show it like this. His visit with T&I would be a lot less cheerful, that’s for sure. Was he prodding Tobi, watching for his reaction? Did Sarutobi honestly think he’d slip up? Tobi was incapable of slipping up. He couldn’t tell the truth with a kunai to his throat at this point.

“What sort of mission is it?” Tobi asked excitedly, ripping open the folder. He held the paper up and slowly mouthed the words on the page, fighting to get through the page. Look at him, he filled out his mission reports in crayon and could barely read. “Mission report…assignment duration, promotion or release…pay…oh, ew…assignment…jounin sensei…”

Tobi trailed off.

Distantly, he heard himself say, “Um. Maybe this is a mistake?”

As promised in last post. Kakashi & Obito roleswap. Barely. It's complicated. Please pay no attention to how many roleswaps I have written. Just ignore it. Do me a favor and do not think about it. OK? Thank you.

Snippet from a much longer, much messier document. This part was the very first part writiten and very much a proof of concept. I'm trying to figure out if I should overhaul the thing and turn this into an actual story, so let me know.

Short beginning scene of Tobito's Wild Ride under the cut.

“Tobi. Thank you for coming.”

Obviously, Tobi didn’t bow or kneel. That wasn’t the sort of person Tobi was. He just grinned broadly, waving so broadly that his body swayed with the motion. “Gramps! Hello! Wow, you’ve gotten old since I’ve seen you!”

Sarutobi chuckled, raising a pipe to his mouth. The pipe - either ‘I’m thinking hard’, ‘I want to pretend I’m thinking hard and giving due consideration to your idea when I don’t really care’, or ‘I’ve already decided and I’m pretending that you have a say in this’. What was the point of the last one? This was a literal military dictatorship. Tobi forgot how exhausting this man could be. 

“It has been a while,” Sarutobi said indulgently. “Since…the T&I incident, I believe?”

Tobi giggled, high and childish. “Inoichi-san got sooo mad. But Tobi said he was real, real, real sorry, so I hope he’s not still mad…oh, no.” Tobi gasped, face falling in desolation. “Is Inoichi-san still mad at me? Oh, Tobi can go apologize again -”

“It’s water under the bridge.” Tobi exhaled gustily, wiping the back of his hand against his brow. It wasn’t his fault Inoichi hated him. Apparently his mind was absolutely impenetrable. Something about constant children’s lullabies just playing full blast in his head. Or songs regarding a specific time of day someplace in the world. “I have to apologize, Tobi. I always feel as if I should keep a better eye on you. There’s never enough time in the day for all of the people we care about. Please forgive me for my inattention to you.”

Manipulative old fuck. Tobi panicked, embarrassed by the attention and affection. He waved his hands quickly, almost jumping up and down. “Gramps! It’s okay! Tobi’s not lonely or sad! He still has Sasuke-chan! Sasuke-chan wasn’t brutally murdered, so Tobi’s A-OK!” Tobi had to tell himself that a lot. Every morning after a nightmare, which meant every morning period. “And I met a really nice old lady yesterday and helped her down the street. She gave me an apple sweet. It was delicious! So there’s nothing to forgive, Gramps!”

“I’m glad,” Sarutobi said warmly. Ugh. Tobi knew objectively that Minato-sensei had tried to imitate that tone, but he still liked to convince himself that Sarutobi was mimicking Minato-sensei. That was a good one, he’d have to use it. “Sasuke-kun is actually why I called you here today.” 

That kid. Tobi sighed. “Tobi is sorry that Tobi cannot control Sasuke-chan. I’ve told him that punching Naruto-kun is bad, but he just doesn’t listen…”

“I’m sure you’ll find a method somehow.” Sarutobi pushed a thin file folder across the desk, and Tobi curiously stepped forward and picked it up. He’d know a file like that anywhere. It was a mission assignment folder. “I’m afraid I must call you out of retirement for a final mission.”

Cold ice shot through Tobi’s chest. Fuck.

Did he know? He couldn’t. If he knew, he wouldn’t show it like this. His visit with T&I would be a lot less cheerful, that’s for sure. Was he prodding Tobi, watching for his reaction? Did Sarutobi honestly think he’d slip up? Tobi was incapable of slipping up. He couldn’t tell the truth with a kunai to his throat at this point.

How did Tobi feel about this? Tobi sure as hell knew how Obito felt - desperately wondering if a T&I visit was in his future. Tobi was scared of the missions, sure. But he was a five year old. How would a five year old react to these things? 

Well. Tobi knew how he would have reacted. He would have sighed and rolled his eyes about yet another mission. Pretty impressive when you were burned out of your career at five years old. He blamed the two month graduation for years before he learned of Rin and Kakashi’s hell and eventually concluded that it could have been worse. At least Tobi was paid for his war zone. 

“A mission?” Tobi gushed. He clenched on the folder far too tightly, like a child clutching a wheezing frog. “I’m going on missions again?” He jumped a little, his usual little show of excitement. Kept his energy up. “Does that mean Gramps isn’t mad at me anymore?”

Tobi carefully snuck a glance up from the folder, checking Sarutobi’s expression. Sarutobi’s face was impassive stone, as usual, but he looked a little worn too. “We were never angry with you.”

Tobi fully looked up, tilting his head and frowning. “Nuh-uh. Tobi remembers. Everybody was so mad at Tobi. Just because his hand slipped…it wasn’t Tobi’s fault.”

“We know,” Sarutobi said gently. “Minato didn’t retire you because he was angry with you. He was only looking out for you.”

Well, Tobi didn’t want to be out of fucking retirement. It was objectively insane to put him on any mission. Tobi had gotten sabotaging every attempt to make him a useful member of society down to a fucking art. He had a shitton of inheritance to blow and a nice long civilian life to blow it on. Maybe he was too stubborn about it - Iruka was definitely convinced that he was the second laziest person in the village and sabotaged his assigned jobs on purpose, which Tobi would have resented if it wasn’t absolutely true - but spite was important. Spite woke him up in the morning. 

The only thing that helped him tolerate this stupid village was his hate for it. Ain’t that just the way.

“What sort of mission is it?” Tobi asked excitedly, ripping open the folder. He held the paper up and slowly mouthed the words on the page, fighting to get through the page. Look at him, he filled out his mission reports in crayon and could barely read. “Mission report…assignment duration, promotion or release…pay…oh, ew…assignment…jounin sensei…”

Tobi trailed off.

Distantly, he heard himself say, “Um. Maybe this is a mistake?”

“Trust me. You’re hardly our first choice.” Finally, they agreed on something. “But you’re the only one in this village with a Sharingan, Tobi. You’re the only one who can teach Sasuke how to use his power.”

“Nuh-uh. Um. This is a mistake. Ha ha.” Tobi ripped the paper from the folder, crumpling it into a ball and tossing it over his shoulder. “Because, um, I can’t use my Sharingan. Did Gramps maybe forget that? Ha ha?”

“But you still remember how to use it. Even if you can’t use it yourself, you can still walk Sasuke-kun through using his.” Sarutobi eyed Tobi knowingly, the dim glowing embers of his pipe reflecting a soft light in his eyes. “You were once a genius with the Sharingan, Tobi. They said you were the best since Madara.”

Yeah! Yeah, they did say that, old man! That was the whole fucking problem!

Mention of the Sharingan or Tobi’s old talents always upset him, so this was a great springboard into nipping this in the bud. He’d throw a hissy fit if he had to. Tobi had killer hissy fits. That was how Sasuke was given a seat as head of house in the Clan Council. Tobi’s wail could pierce eardrums and Sasuke had deserved that fucking seat. 

“Tobi doesn’t like the Sharingan anymore!” Tobi exclaimed. “Tobi wants to help Sasuke-chan, Gramps, cross Tobi’s heart! But Tobi doesn’t like the Sharingan and the Sharingan don’t like Tobi. And that’s just the truth.” Tobi crossed his arms, sniffling and scrunching his nose. “And don’t say what you’re gonna say. Tobi knows what’s up. Minato-sensei’s little boy is on that team too, isn’t he?”

He absolutely was. Tobi had speed-read the entire document while he was reading it out loud. But even the remnant of Obito’s genius was still considerable, and Tobi’s moments of keen insight were useful for pushing the enemy into a corner. 

“I thought you might appreciate the chance to look after your sensei’s son,” Sarutobi said mildly, removing a silver lighter from his pocket. Engraved, a gift from Biwako. Was that on purpose? A mind game on Tobi, an unconscious memory on his part, or a purposeful evocation of a memory just for him? Was he trying to remind Tobi of something or corner Obito? Damn this man. “Help him like your sensei helped you.”

The really great thing about Tobi was that he could get away with saying this. It was only to the left of cathartic, but at least it was in the zone. “I’m not stupid, Gramps!” Tobi yelled. The ANBU in the corners twitched, but when Sarutobi’s fingernail clicked on the silver lighter they subsided. “You’re giving Minato-sensei and Kushina-neechan’s little baby and his fox to the last Sharingan because you want the Sharingan to eat the Fox! Why are you doing what you want when you know it won’t work? Tobi’s tried, he can’t - he can’t, Gramps.”

It wasn’t the sort of thing any self-respecting Uchiha would admit. Half of them would kill themselves if they lost their Sharingan. Uchiha Obito, whose Sharingan was the pride and joy of the clan - who was the Uchiha’s Uchiha before Itachi-kun was even a twinkle in his mother’s eye - would never abandon his one point of value. 

And everybody knew how prideful the Uchiha were. There was no Uchiha alive who would pretend to be Tobi. Could you imagine? What Uchiha would humiliate themselves like this with a goofy smile on their face? A regular human being could barely do it. An Uchiha? Forget it. Impossible.

But Kushina-neechan’s favorite shinobi was always the most surprising of all. And Obito cared about that more than all the rest. 

The only ninja who would have ferreted him out was Kakashi. Kakashi and his dopey, stupid smile. His ridiculous porn books and his clumsy pratfalls. His laziness, lateness, and utter underachiever lifestyle. Only Kakashi ever said those words, with a wink and a smile: a true shinobi looked underneath the underneath. So save your energy and watch the clouds with me, Uchiha-kun. No? Maybe next time…

The next time never came. Being a good Uchiha had always meant something, and the useless son of a disgraced clan meant nothing at all. Nothing to anybody but Minato and Kushina and Rin and Obito.

“You’re better than nothing.” In that second, Sarutobi really did look very tired. He didn’t look like he was lying at all. “You’re the best we have, Tobi.”

Tobi was silent. Sarutobi knew it wasn’t much of a compliment. Even somebody like Tobi would know that. 

“As a favor to Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun,” Sarutobi said, “and as a favor to me. Please give these children the help you can. Don’t worry - I’ll ask the other jounin to pitch in and help.” 

Tobi lowered his voice, and he allowed his tone to grow a little more serious. “I’m not strong. I’m not good at molding chakra and I haven’t really fought anyone in a long time. I can’t protect the children.” 

“We’ll be careful,” Sarutobi allowed. But there was something in his eye… “You may be rusty, but I doubt you’re out of the ring yet. Have a little faith in yourself.” The look in his eyes glinted and grew, and for the first time he stared right at Tobi. “You did hold your own against Uchiha Itachi.”

They stared at each other for a long second, two. A little too late, Tobi laughed and scrubbed the back of his neck. “Silly Gramps! I said a billion times. Tobi hid. I don’t think Itachi-kun thought it was worth it to kill me…I don’t think Itachi-kun ever thought I was a real Uchiha. But we’ve showed him, huh?” Tobi grinned, jabbing a finger at his chest. “Now there’s three whole Uchiha in the whole wide world! One third’s a serial killer, one third’s twelve, and one third is…drumroll please…Tobi! Konoha’s in good hands, ne?”

Tobi smiled at the man who ordered Uchiha Itachi to kill their entire family.

Sarutobi smiled back at the man who was currently pulling the most intricate and improbable lying campaign in a village of ninjas. In Obito’s defense, it was to save his own life. Sarutobi had murdered his family to - well, save the village, but Tobi didn’t have to like it. 

“Thank you for accepting the mission. I trust you’ll do splendidly.”

“Uh. Tobi didn’t -”

“The children ought to be waiting for you in the schoolroom at 1000 hours. You ought to head over - I expect you’re already late.”

Tobi squealed, looking at the unwound watch on his wrist and slapping his head. “Oh no! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late! Bye, Gramps! You promise-promise to get back-up for Tobi, right?”

Pleasantly, Sarutobi said, “I would not trust you alone with those children, no.”

“Yay! Okay, gotta goooo!”

When he left Sarutobi’s office, he was about ten minutes late to his meeting with the children. By the time he arrived at the school he was over an hour late. Lost on the road of life and all that. It didn’t matter - venting about this ridiculousness to Kakashi was way more important than meeting the brats on time.

This would be a disaster. There was no way this would end well. Tobi was a brain damaged, traumatized moron who couldn’t use his one skill and who hadn’t been on active duty since he whoopsie-daisy’d his sword into his best friend’s heart. If Sarutobi didn’t keep up his promise and drag in the other jounin to take up his slack then he’d riot. Did he want Tobi to do work? Tobi? He had resigned from capitalism and the military industrial complex. Pulling him into this shit again - as if he hadn’t suffered enough -

As if Sasuke and Naruto hadn’t. Maybe one of Sarutobi’s stupid-ass motivations was because he knew that only Tobi would be nice to Sasuke and Naruto. Damn Naruto especially. For that, at least…if only as a favor to Minato-sensei…

To make up for it…maybe a little bit of real work would be the least he could do.

Ugh. Hopefully not that much.

Tobi finally touched down at the school, following the Academy hallways to Sasuke’s classroom by route memory. He dropped off Sasuke’s lunch a lot. It embarrassed him so much. It was classic.

Tobi walked into the classroom and allowed a large basket of glitter to fall on top of his head.

A peal of laughter squealed throughout the room, and Tobi opened his eyes to see Uzumaki Naruto clutching his sides and laughing his ass off. Quite rudely, Sasuke had his feet propped up on a desk. That third girl was sitting primly in her seat, terrified. 

“What an idiot! Our new sensei actually fell for - wait.” Naruto straightened, squinting at Tobi. He yelled, jabbing a finger at him. “Hey! Number Two Ramen Fan! What the hell are you doing here?”

Sasuke almost fell out of his seat. He scrambled to his feet, panicked in his special Sasuke way - that was, eyes a little wider than usual. “Tobi? Did I forget my lunch?”

“Um?” Sakura Haruno hunched her shoulders in her seat, picking at the corner of a scroll. “Uchiha Obito’s our sensei. I thought you knew. Did you…not know?”

“Is this a joke?” Sasuke cried. “Who the hell thought this was funny? Tobi couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag! If they’re bullying us again, I swear to god I’ll strangle whoever -”

“Whoah,” Naruto cried, impressed. “Violent!”

“Everybody’s always bullying Tobi,” Sasuke snapped. “I’m an Uchiha. What sort of Uchiha would I be if I tolerated that?”

Glitter dripped down Tobi’s hair and sprinkled onto his clothing. He smiled, big and bright, and clapped his hands together. Sasuke was groaning, but Naruto and Sakura just leaned in closer - caught in a morbid curiosity, desperate to meet their own fate. Signed and sealed. “Tobi’s first impression of you all is…you’re so funny! Tobi likes you!”

The kids paled. 

[justcallmesakira]

Bsd men with a childish s/o part 2!

Sypnosis: Bsd men with a very silly and goofy s/o with ranpo, akutagawa and nikolai! Genre: Lowkey fluff, crack

Warnings: poisoning with peanuts, sliding down a metal Rollercoaster railing, implied doxxing a Mexican kid, blasting, teeth 😇

A/N: Okay so my last post got loads of likes so I decided to do a part 2 because why not? I don't think I will do part 3 but you can request if you want..?

Ranpo-

Wow... look two autistic lovers challenging each other who can eat the most sweets without getting cavity!

You one time tried stealing his candies,, so he kept you in those childrens tents filled with colorful balls😧😧😧 yk those silly cages made for children so they think they are meant to have fun?

Nahh fukuzawa gunna call the CPS

If you think he will be all sweet with you.... No shit bro your in for a ride, AND I MEAN A LITTERAL RIDE-

"uhh ranpo I don't think we should use a Rollercoaster as a slide" "shut up you kid! Sliding not a crime xD"

Two grown up adults found sliding down a roller coasters rail

BRO let the news reporter have a break 😭

He's kinda like dazai but a bit more childish with you (awh how cute...)

One time he tried to play with a kid on the sandbox but he refused so you came and gaslighted the kid to eat a peanut butter lollipop 🍭🥜

Turns out the kid had allergy to nuts

Kid: AUGHHH AGUH AGHGh AEEEEUGHH you: :3 Ranpo: god must be happy

FAMILY GUY Reference??? YES

And so two totally romantic lovers go on a journey to poison little kids!

Hohoho if aomeone bullies you he's gonna go "Hello (first name) (middle name) (last name) who lives in (full address) and was born in (birth hospital)" on that Mexican kid who tried to bully you

That's hot😋😳🤭

One time you lost your left glove in the winter so he took your left hand and slid it in his gloved hand

YES THAT'S POSSIBLE I DID THAT TO MY hopeless romantic ass Self!!!!

Akutagawa-

....

How did you get him to date you bro 😀

He does not even understand what wrong with you so he always has be the one saving your ass during a mission just in cas3

OH it's not for your protection.... It's him protecting the building so you don't blow it up

😁😁😁

You know how he goes ◉ - ◉ sometimes? That's exactly how he questions your silly antics

"I can't wait for the tooth fairy to come for the teeth under my bed!" "◉-◉" higuchi: you are too old for fallen tooth what are you sa-- Y/N WHO'S TOOTH IS THA--"

He only glared at higuchi telling her to not question it with you behind him ":3"

Sometimes you play with his rashoumon by putting make up on it

Idkdontaskmehowyoudidthat-

"sir we bombed up the plac-" "good" 💁‍♀️💄👹---🧑

GUYS THE DEMON IS THE RASOUMON AND DON'T QUESTION IT

If anything akutagawa is questioning why he has to keep you in a children's daycare

BRO give him a break-

When dazai met you and you two had matching energy he was just staring at you two with respect... He felt a bit felt out though

HUG HIM RIGHT NOW👿

Other then that he tries to understand you and protect you from danger because of your goof :)

Nikolai-

This is gonna get messy.... 😨

Honestly you have matching energy butttttt- BONUS POINTS IF YOU ARE A TERRORIST WHO Goes >:3 WHILE BLOWING UP A BUILDING-

Fyodor is questioning his life choices because you two acCidENtaLly burned his kitchen

"Damn.... It's 7 am..." Fyodor said calmly as he saw his only house burn down

Your gonna become his pretty assistant in his circus or sth🤡

Anyways you know those bumper cars? You two ride those and bump each other with it causing a friction and blasting the whole place

He will let you lay on his thi- I mean lap if you are too tired but don't be surprised to wake up with pigtails and heavy makeup :>

NIKO I love you but if you do that... Things are gonna get way messier😊😊😊

If

If you want anything he Wil just open up his portal and bring

"oioioioi koala (the name you gave him because of kolya) I want to drink shrimp and lollipop soda" *opens up portal and takes out a golden can* "here you go! :3" "Oh tank yew :3"

Totally sane and normal!!

Yes you call him koala instead of kolya but he always goes 😳🤭

I would too bbg wann-

Overall I think it's sort of good to be cheerful I mean at least you get too get away with his pranks (slightly)

Just make sure he doesnt sigma 3 breakdown hair you

A/N: I know this wasn't good but I am not in the mood to write yk--so sorry it's not funny or anything anyways I am not sure whether I WI will write part 3 or not

Tag: @silverbladexyz

Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated!

[omni-present-god-send]

Crack-fic 2 Electric Boogaloo

Ok wow, that last fic got some attention. Even the original creator of the AU I was writing about liked it. Wtf. So, um, here's another one! Based on @lets-try-some-writing 's Mr. Pax Au. Yes, I'm bothering you again.

Basically: Prom is coming up and the kids want Optimus to be there. He's flattered. Then cons show up. Destruction.

~

It was odd to have your favorite teacher also be an alien robot. At least Miko made money because of it. Jack and Raf are still mad that she, of all people, called it. There were many advantages though. Easy access to tutoring. Free rides. A shoulder to cry on.

The three of them even helped Optimus with his human disguise! If only to help with the Uncanny Valley he would give them sometimes. His hair was messier now, and he finally got something close to a wardrobe. However, there were some things they couldn't control. Like the way his eyes would get this subtle glow when he got angry or was concentrating. The way his holoform would appear to stop breathing for an extended period of time. Or when we would sing, it was hard to describe, but an almost invisible sound could be heard. Like a bell in the back of your mind. The three of them would soon learn that it was because Optimus, and the other bots in general, could produce sounds just outside of what the human ear could hear clearly.

As the months went by, Mr. Pax would be the best teacher any of them had ever had. Then he would drive them to base and be Optimus. The best dad on this, or any other, planet. It was the best of both worlds!

Sure they had to deal with the Vice-Principal. Trying to get Mr. Pax fired for being a better History teacher in one year than he had been in 15. Vince who, no matter how much Mr. Pax intervened, always went out of his way to make someone miserable. Whether it was Jack or some other poor soul. On top of getting shot at, blown up, stalked, and kidnapped by Decepticons. A break is always welcomed.

Which is how we got here. Miko borrowing Raf's laptop to look at some very sparkly dresses at the base while the boys went to grab some food. Very out of character for the little punk and Optimus noticed immediately. It didn't take more than a few minutes for Optimus to go into the back and for Mr. Pax to emerge out of the dark hallways.

Mr. Pax walked up the stairs and towards the couch where Miko was. She looked very puzzled as she scrolled through the array of dresses on the screen. "You hardly ever even consider that type of fashion Miko. Is everything alright?" Mr. Pax questioned. Miko's head shot up. Clearly not expecting him. "Oh, hey boss. Yeah, everything's fine. Just looking at Prom dresses. My parents are insisting I go." She rolled her eyes and went back to scrolling. "I heard some of the other teachers talking about that. What is 'Prom'?" Mr. Pax inquired.

"Basically is an over-hyped party for seniors to dress up and take pictures with their dates," Miko explained. Mr. Pax hummed. "I hope you have fun regardless." He smiled. Miko gave a laugh and waved him away. Instead of leaving, Mr. Pax took a seat next to her on the couch. "How about we look together? Maybe we can find something you like. Or at the very least something you can edit to fit your style." How could Miko refuse? It wasn't every day she got 1-on-1 time with Best Dad!

Hours passed with them just...looking at dresses. Short ones, long ones, ugly ones, expensive ones. Till, finally, they found it. A knee-length, off-shoulder, black cocktail dress. With a silver detail on the waist. It was a decent price, and Miko could already see every edit that could be done to make it hers. SHe gave Mr. Pax a tight hug before writing down the link to go back to later. Once she got home and back to her own computer that is.

Mr. Pax repeated the process with Jack and, suprisingly, Raf. He thought nothing of it. He was helping his kids students pick out some decent clothes for an importent event. It was the least he could do. Esspecailly with the war dragging them into places and senarios they had no buisness being in.

Before they knew it, Prom was right around the cornor. Mr. Pax was in his classroom grading some papers for the math teacher. When a knock at his door brought him out of his trance. It was Ms. Summer. The science teacher. He opened the door.

"Hello Ms. Summer, can I help you?"

"Yes. You see Mr. Pax, I have a date next weekend." "That's great!" "It is... except I suck at scheduling and our date is at the same time as Prom. I was wondering if you could chaperone in my place?"

Mr. Pax was taken aback. He was not expecting this. "Um... sure. Why not? I don't have a lot going on anyway." He chuckled. Ms. Summer gave him a big smile. "Oh thank you, Mr. Pax! You have no idea how much this helps!" Ms. Summer exclaimed.

Back at base later that day, the children were all talking about their prom plans. "I have some money for bowling if you guys are interested." Jack offered. "Bowling sounds nice," Raf replied. Optimus glances over at the children, trying to hide a smile. He failed. "Hey Boss, you're gonna be there. Right?" Miko suddenly asks. Optimus, now very confused, turns to her. "You...want me at Prom with you all?" The three of them looked at him like he was stupid. In that moment, he was. "Of course, we want you there! You're our favorite!" Raf's words sent warmth through Optimus's spark. He smiled "Then you will be happy to know that Ms. Summer has asked me to chaperone Prom in her wake." Immediately the children started hopping and cheering. "Just because Prom is coming up doesn't mean you all get to skip out on Homework. Miko." She gave him a look of fake offence, before laughing and returning to celebrating with Jack and Raf. Optimus gave a small chuckle and went back to his duties.

Before they knew it, Prom was here. Mr. Pax stood near the door to the building. Glad in a, rather beautiful , black suit. Red flower details covered the suit jacket from top to bottom. Even the tie had red flowers on it! Making it look a lot more expensive then it was. Being a hologram and all.

Prom went, surprisingly, well. The children had fun. Their classmates had enthusiastic reactions to Mr. Pax being there. Except Vince. For obvious reasons. Miko had taken the dress and added spikes, pink and green mesh, and had taken a knife to the skirt. While Jack and Raf were in a blue and yellow suit, respectively.

That was, until Prom got raided by US soldiers. They evacuated everyone from the building. As Mr. Pax was dragged outside by a soldier, he saw what caused the commotion. Even from a distance he could tell they were Deceptions. Three of them. Flying straight toward him. Threatening his students.

He tried to calm down. He really did. He helped get his students to safety. He got as many personal items as he could carry. Nearly punched a soldier. Nearly. He held himself back don’t worry. Blasts of Energon rained down on the building. Chunks fell off. Rubble caught fire. A couple light fixtures exploded.

As the last of his students was taken away by soldiers. Optimus finally let himself take out his anger. Returning to his bi-pedal form, he fired three shots. Each one took out a wing on each con. As the Cons fell from the sky Optimus grabbed them. With the strength of a thousand suns he, as Miko would describe, cracked them like glow sticks. Then threw each one toward the horizon.

When the cons returned they looked like they had been through Kaon. Shaking and rattling like newsparks. As they relaid the story Megatron could feel his spark freeze. Optimus did this? When did he get so violent? Even Soundwave shivered at the story.

Back at the Autobot base, Optimus held Raf, Jack, and Miko close to his spark. Literally. He refused to set them down for longer then necessary. They were still in their, now destroyed, prom clothes. Shaking and crying. Though you didn’t hear that from me. Eventually the day caught up to the and they fell asleep, still in Optimus’s hand. Going into his room, he layed there. His kids sleeping on his chest, close to his spark.

[ofmdsalt]

i do think it’s funny that the gentlebeardies who proclaim their love for the revenge crew don’t actually talk that much about or create content for the revenge crew. they don’t give a shit about the “boatful of queer poc that Izzy sold out” (LMFAO) unless they can use the crew’s diversity as some kind of moral gotcha. they care about GB because that’s the only thing that matters about the show in their eyes. and it’s so fucking unoriginal!!! just endless regurgitated post about “omg they’re soooo in love~~ and isn’t it great that love conquered all their problems~~!” it’s unoriginal derivative dreck unless they have to invent new ways to lie about how izzy deserves the death penalty.

oh anon you get me

you have no idea how much i hate the diversity of the crew being used as a literal weapon in this fandom when it comes to demonizing izzy and washing Ed and Stede of any of their wrong doings.

im frustrated by the use of the crew in season 2 only because it was so painfully obvious to me that the budget cuts really affected the ensemble. the way the Swede and Buttons were written out of the show felt rushed and like it came out of nowhere, especially as those two characters, felt the 'least' developed out of the rest of them. so giving them both this long winded set up to be written out was too clunky for me.

i miss when Frenchie was singing and strumming along on his lute. i miss when Jim was Jim, because lbr that was Vico in s2. it just felt like Jim wasn't there anymore. i can't say what happened in the writer's room at that time or what sort of material Vico was given or if it skewed more to improve, but a lot of what was established for the characters in s1 was missing for me.

the rhetoric of this being the Ed&Stede show i think did more harm than good. the assertion that the other characters are only here in service of Ed and Stede's development reduces the sense of scale and scope and also agency these characters have.

a lot of the foundational aspects of GB as a ship i think falls a bit too much into fan service. people talk about how revolutionary and groundbreaking the ship is as a cis gay couple on screen. as if it hasn't been seen before. like i didn't get the wow moment of Stede in the mermaid costume as other fans did. Stede's dream at the beginning of season 2 with him killing Izzy and then colliding with Ed in this romantic gesture of love and passion on the beach is straight up fantasy for Stede, but i think fans took the idea of Stede literally killing Izzy a bit too seriously because that is Stede's fantasy. he wanted his reunion with Ed to be simple and understandable. that it was all Izzy's fault when the reality of the situation was so much messier and complicated. like David and the writers were literally telling us that Izzy is not the enemy here because this moment on the beach was pure fantasy. and fantasies can be dangerous

and then the fans said that Izzy deserved it, should have had his second leg shot and amputated, that he deserved to die, that he's still a nuisance even in death despite the fact that he's dead. that is both a master manipulator but also a cringe fail loser incapable of doing anything right. and it's like. okay. you don't seem to understand this character either.

like a lot of the problems in this fandom have existed before and will continue to exist in other iterations. every fandom has its ship wars. every fandom has long ass call out posts about characters they don't like. but let's not pretend this is anything revolutionary

what i've noticed is that this fandom will reach a burnout period and it's probably already upon us. the constant need to be like 'we're trending!!' when all algorithms are dog shit and glitchy as hell doesn't mean anything. plus the fact that there are only two seasons, less BTS content to go around, it's all coming from the same overdrawn well and eventually it will come up empty.

it's okay to step back. it's okay to leave a fandom for a bit and come back to it years down the road. it's okay. but all of this is exhausting

[lalachat]

"And there you were..."

Author's note: LET ME TELL YOU I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO FIGHT SOMEONE AS MUCH AS I DID WRITING THIS! Literally had this vision in my head and I got so heated I knew this was going to be a good chapter. MUAHAHA all the spooky vibes from Halloween are getting to me. I hope you guys enjoy this one because the plot is thickening. Also, I might be making a far stretch on one of the jokes i put in here... I am pretty sure these don't exist in ACOTAR but for the sake of the joke, just pretend they do 😭

Summary: After everyone in the Town House finding out about your night with Lucien and bond with Azriel, you have a nice relaxing night in with your girls... or so you thought it would be relaxing.

This is for all my Lucien girlies❤️

Warnings: lots of cursing, talk of wingspan and sex, verbal violence, and potential grammar errors

Word Count: ≈ 3,154

Chapter 5: "GYNO?"

While you were getting ready, Feyre and Rhysand were back in their room discussing what they had just learned about you-

“What should we do Rhys? Az has been wishing for his mate for so long, but little does he know that he has been so infatuated with Elain it’s caused a blockage of his bond with y/n!” as she too is getting ready for girl’s night.

“The only thing we can do is be there for y/n and for Az when the time comes. This is a very peculiar situation y/n and Az have gotten themselves into,” he chuckles as he places his hands on the sides of her waist looking at her getting ready.

“I know, and this just has gotten messier with time. It already was messy enough with Lucien being Elain's mate and her liking Az. But now, y/n being Azriel’s mate and liking Lucien just seems way too coincidental. I can tell she likes him; she is just in denial because she's still holding onto some glimmer of hope with Azriel,” she pauses. “Something just feels off Rhys,” as she starts to think through what could be going on.

“I also feel like there is something is off, and I think it’s deeply rooted. Only time will tell Feyre darling,” he says as he kisses the top of her head as she finishes up getting ready.

“I would just hate for any of them to get hurt…” she frowns up at Rhys.

“And no one will, because we will be there for them every step of the way no matter what happens,” he reassures her with a soft kiss on her lips. “Now, go have some fun with the girls tonight! But not too much fun,” he looks at her with a playful smile.

“We cannot promise anything,” she giggles. “GNI here I come!”

“GNI?” Rhys questions at the unfamiliar term.

“GNI stands for “Girls Night In,” usually it is GNO, but staying in sounds better since we were out a Rita's not too long ago.” She explains.

“GNO? Isn't that a lady doctor?” Feyre burst out into full on laughter. Tears were spilling from her eyes from laughing so hard. Rhys just looked at her questioningly because he didn’t understand what was so funny.

“Rhys… oh bless your soul… GNO is the same thing as GNI, but you go out instead of staying inside. A lady doctor is called a gyno! Oh, I am so telling the girls this!” As she wipes the tears from her eyes and catches her breath.

“Ahh shit… I'm never living that down now…”

“Nope,” as she pops the end of the word as she walks down to the living room for girl's night.

You walk down the stairs into the main living room to find all the girls already there giggling over wine all cozy in their pajamas.

“Wow, already started without me huh?” you say with a fake frown. They all look at you and smile, clearly already seeing some effect of the wine Mor brought.

“No! Just decided to pre-game a little bit!” Mor smiles at you and walks to you to link arms and lead you over to the group. You giggle.

“Well then, the party has arrived! Looks like I need a couple of glasses to catch up to you all!” you laugh. You look over and spot Amren and give her a polite smile. “It's nice to see you again Amren!”

“You too girl,” she says. “We have a lot of catching up to do!” She eyes you a bit eager to know what has been going on, but Feyre steps in.

“Nonono! I am putting a veto on discussing all things that have happened recently! We are here to forget about that and have fun! Now ladies raise your glasses,” Amren rolls her eyes, but everyone raises their wine, “and cheers to us girls and the wonderful night ahead of us!” Everyone whoops and laughs as they take a swig of their wine. You decide to down your glass to try and catch up as everyone cheers you on!

“Thats how you do it baby!” Mor pats you on the back and goes to pour you another glass.

“Oh, this night in is going to be quite interesting,” Amren says with a grin.

“Speaking of, I have something to tell you guys about what Rhys asked me earlier,” Feyre burst into laughter.

“What is it? Tell us girl!” Amren says inpatient with her laughing.

“Rhysand asked me what GNI meant, and I explained that it is basically GNO but instead of going out we stay in the comfort of our own home,” Feyre explained trying to hold in her laughter.

“Ok so like basic information, I don’t understand what is so funny?” Nesta asked confused.

“It gets funny I promise! Rhysand didn’t know what the abbreviation of GNO meant either. He said, and I quote, “GNO? Isn't that a lady doctor?”” As Feyre erupted into a fit of laughter. “He thought GNO was a gyno!”

You were the first to laugh, “You’re joking?”

“I wish I was!” Feyre was on the ground crying, and everyone soon joined her. Even Amren choked on her wine a bit from laughing at the situation Feyre just informed you guys of. Oh, poor Rhys is never going to hear the end of this one from any of you guys.

A couple of glasses later everyone is most definitely feeling the effects of the wine a lot stronger than when you first started. All of you are cuddled up together in blankets giggling over anything and everything. You decided to bring something up that you have been curious about ever since you saw it.

“Hey, Nesta! When I came home earlier today, I saw Cassian reading one of your little books.” You wink at her. “What is the book about, and why was Cassian studying it so intently?” Nesta blushes.

“I made him read a specific chapter on something that I wanted to try…” she admits quietly as she drinks more of her wine. Everyone started screaming asking to know what it was.

“Oh, Nesta come on!! You have to tell us what it is now! We are all girls here, we can handle book smut, I'm sure!” Mor says as she sits up eagerly.

“Yeah, please Nesta!” everyone says simultaneously.

“You guys want a smutty bedtime story?” She giggles as she leaves to go to get her book, and everyone cheers. Nesta comes back with the book, and everyone is already in giggles excited about hearing something they might be able to apply into their lives. “Get comfortable girls because this chapter is going to be wild!”

Everyone’s faces were bright pink along with their jaws being on the floor hearing Nesta read the chapter from the sheer number of descriptions given. Amren was the only one who remained stone faced throughout the whole thing, but you could tell every word that fell from Nesta's lips were remembered by Amren.

“Well, I can surely see why you had Cassian read that chapter now,” Amren smirked as she finished off her glass.

“Especially with his wingspan,” you said quietly, but it did not go unheard as everyone looked your way. “What?! You guys act like you don’t see his wings every day! A girl can appreciate big wingspans and think nothing of it!” Except you do think about it a lot. Curious to know which one of the bat boys has the biggest one. Everyone giggles at your comment.

“Don’t let Cassian hear that y/n, it’ll go straight to his head and then he will tell Rhysand and Az that he has the biggest one,” Nesta said with a knowing smile.

“I don’t mean to be inappropriate, but I think everyone forgets about Rhyland's wings since he only has them for special occasions.” Feyre said smirking.

“Oh little sister, are you challenging my mate’s wingspan?” Nesta eyed playfully, but before Feyre could respond you chirped in with one more fact.

“Ladies we are forgetting about one more male,” you started to blush at the thought of your mate’s wingspan.

“Oh, my gods, Azriel!” Mor finished it for you with a shout, totally feeling dumb not even thinking about the male. “If I am being brutally honest, I think he blows the other two out the water with his wingspan,” Mor said with a smirk as she twirled her wine glass and gave you a wink. This made you really blush now.

“You really think Azriel has the biggest wingspan?” Feyre asked.

“Yes.” Amren spoke and this all made you laugh hearing her agree on something like this.

“Has anyone seen Azriel’s-” Nesta tried to question.

“No,” was heard throughout the room before Mor looked at you knowingly.

“The only person in this room who could even get that close would-be y/n,” Mor said matter of factly. You blushed so hard you hid your face behind your hands.

“Mor! Stop I don’t want that image in my head!” You said giggling.

“I wouldn’t mind it…” Nesta said with a smirk remembering her thought of both Cassian and Azriel. Once again everyone laughed. This night was full of so much comfort and laughter you truly felt so at peace. However, with wine come consequences.

“Oh I forgot y/n only favors a certain red head in bed,” Mor said without thinking.

“MOR!!” You glared at her, and she slapped her hands over her mouth and said sorry. But it was too late, they all heard it.

“YOU HAD SEX WITH LUCIEN?! I thought yall just cuddled all night?!” Feyre asked with a squeal scooting closer to you.

“Ah shit- I guess yall get to know everything now… Before I met you guys, I lived in the spring court for a while,” Mor sat back and nursed her wine waiting for the reaction of the others on what you were about to tell. You tell them the story just as you had with Mor in the bathroom at Rita's. Everyone was in shock to find out about your hidden casual sex relationship with the autumn court male. Feyre was once again the one to speak up first.

“Is what they say true?”

“Is what true Feyre?” you asked back.

‘About them you know… fucking you with the fire in their veins?” Feyre asked eagerly. Everyone then scooted closer to you just like Feyre did earlier. You giggled at their anticipation.

“Yes, and it is so much more than you could even imagine.” Everyone squealed at your response!

“Screw my book y/n, tell us about a time you and Lucien had sex together! I want to hear all about the fire thing!!” Nesta said as everyone else agreed, even Amren is eager. However, before you could respond you heard a sweet voice you wished you hadn’t.

“Y/n, you had sex with my mate?!” Elain said as she had just walked through the door with Azriel, both had bags in their hands from their shopping spree.

“Oh shi-” Mor said before Elain moved closer to you, Azriel following close behind her eyeing you with anger.

“Answer me y/n! Did you or did you not have sex with my mate?!” Elain raised her voice this time.

“Elain I- I don’t know what you heard but I can explain,” you tried to reason with her for gods know what. You owed this female nothing but here you were trying to diffuse the situation. She threw her bag to the floor and pointed a finger at your face.

“NO! You expect me to hear you out after I come home to see everyone having a girl’s night without me, let alone talking about you and Lucien having sex? You are such a backstabbing sl-” before Elain could finish that sentence off Nesta was at her side.

“Elain, seriously drop it. Y/n has a valid explanation, just hear her out,” Nesta pleaded but Elain didn’t care. Maybe it was the protectiveness of the bond coming out of her, but she was not backing down.

“No! I am done being the polite one! You had sex with my mate behind my back! Is that why you both left Rita's? I cannot believe you y/n! No wonder you haven’t found your mate! It’s because you are too busy being a slut and fucking someone else’s mate!” She was fully in your face now; you looked behind her to see Azriel looking like he was about to kill you for hurting Elain. Feyre tried to step in this time.

“Elain, you do not know what you are talking about, you need to stop now before you say something you will regret!”

“Feyre, I do know what I am talking about! I heard it clear as night! She fucked my mate!” You just about had enough of being talked about this way. You kindly pushed Feyre and Nesta away from Elain and gave them small smiles to say sorry for what you were about to do.

“You know Elain, that’s a lot of talk coming from you. A female who has a mate that gladly agreed to her wishes on space. He sleeps alone every night waiting for the day that you will accept him! Oh, but poor Elain has no one to love and accept her! Wake the fuck up! Your mate has done everything for you since the day he found out, and yet you are sleazing yourself away to someone else!” You point at Azriel. “You want to talk about a slut, look in the fucking mirror!” Nesta and Feyre are looking at each other not knowing what to do, while Amren and Mor decide to stay out of it and observe the situation, ready to jump in when needed.

“Be careful how you speak about-” Azriel’s voice said dangerously low, but before he could finish that sentence you cut him off.

“Oh, don’t give me that shit Az! It might have worked in that meeting but it sure as hell isn’t going to work here!” You glared at him. “You are just as much a part of this as I am! Letting her fawn over you knowing she has found her mate is ludicrous! Especially when you’re the one who has dreamt of having a mate to call his own for years! What if your mate was standing right in front of you all along?” Everyone in the room goes silent at your words as you step into his personal space. Azriel's shadows are dancing furiously around him as he glares at you. You try pulling on the bond but are met with nothing in return except emptiness. He still doesn't know.

“You bitch!” Elain cautiously pushes you away from Az. “How dare you talk to us this way when you’re the one who threw themself at my mate knowingly! At least we have self-control!” she pushes her finger against your chest. You swat it away.

“GODS ELAIN! Why do you always have to play the victim! You can never admit to anything you have done wrong! You and him both,” you point at her and Az, “are hurting more people than you realize with whatever you want to call yourselves!”

“Well at least we are happy, unlike your mate less self-” Elain tried to say as you yelled-

“THAT’S IT!” in an instant everyone was in between you. Nesta, Feyre, and Amren blocked you from Elain as Azriel and Mor held you back. “Let me go Azriel!” you thrash in their grip. You watch as Feyre and Nesta try and calm their sister. Amren serving as a middle ground between both groups. You keep thrashing around but it's no use. The shadow singer has you in a tight hold as Mor holds one of your arms. You look at Mor with pleading eyes, but she just shakes her head at you as if to say, “fighting her isn’t right.” And you knew that… You were just so taken back by both her and Azriel being against you without hearing your explanation. Sure, Elain was somewhat valid, but nowhere near as valid as the points you were making.

You soon calmed down and looked at Mor again, “Can you please let me go now? I won’t do anything… anymore.” Mor looked at Az and he put his lips against you ear and said-

“If you so much as think about insulting her or hurting her, I will not hesitate to fire back violence, so be a good girl and walk away.” You cannot lie, having your mate that close to you and hearing him call you a good girl had your heart betraying you for a moment. You shoved yourself out of their grip and stormed towards the door before you would do anything regrettable.

“Where do you think you’re going?! I am not done with you y/n!” Elain screamed as you walked past, the jealousy of the bond obviously still influencing her. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to see Azriel now trying to calm her down. Tears collected in your eyes at the sight. He was supposed to be doing that with you, not her! You begged, screamed, yelled, pushed, and thrashed against that bond inside of you fighting for any kind of response. You don’t know how long you stood there mindlessly watching him comfort Elain as you used every fiber of your being against the bond and got nothing in return. That was your last straw. The wicked voice in your head took full control. Quite literally letting all intrusive thoughts win. You started laughing.

“Gods Elain you have everyone in this damn world wrapped around your pretty little finger, don’t you? Well guess what, I see right through your fucking act of desperation for the male gaze and male attention.” Azriel looked at you as a warning to watch your next words, but Elain ran out of his arms and ran straight to you. You and she were now face to face. A test to see who was daring enough to hit first.

“Fuck you y/n!!” Elain said with a pause between each word, and you smirked.

“I may not be able to fuck myself Elain, but you know what I can fuck?” you slightly paused as the realization hit her. “I can go fuck with fire!” you say with a wink as you walk out the Town House’s front door straight to Lucien’s apartment.

Lucien’s POV:

Lucien was relaxing on his couch reading one of his favorite books before he felt it. An overwhelming flood of emotions hitting him. It was as if they were screaming at him from two different ends of the bond. He learned how to process Elain’s end of the bond throughout the years, but whatever was going on was too much to deal with. This was all unknown feeling. Lucien ran to grab his coat and he quickly put it on. Just as he was reaching for his door to run to Elain, he heard a hard knock. He opened the door to find you in a fit of rage as you stormed inside. “Okay, just come on in why don’t you.” he said sarcastically as he shut the door behind you. "Nice pajamas by the way," he says jokingly before looking at you to see you glaring at him. "Shit, who pissed in your wine tonight?"

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Tags:

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[nabinabipumpum]

CAN I BE THE FIRST?-Bônus ᴹⁱⁿʲⁱ ˣ ᶠ!ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

BÔNUS: [MOM AND DAD ARE HERE]

Pairing - Kim Minji X f!Reader

Genre - Fluff🤏, angst, written + smau

Warning - mom and daddy issues, self-acceptance problems, homophobic parents, Y/n doesn't know how to deal with feelings, parents talk about Y/n's weight, mother calls Y/n a whale and a "happy pig", idk if has more

Previous | Masterlist | Next

February 2024…

You sighed as you curled up on the couch, all the members went to their respective relatives' houses and now you were alone waiting for your parents to arrive. You didn't know how they were aware that there were days where you took time off just to see your families, but they found out and were going to visit you before going back to your hometown.

You just received a message the day before from your mother telling you that she was going to visit your dorm the next day, you told Miya about it, who didn't know whether to be worried or angry.

“What the fuck, why would they come visit you? Do they want money or just to ruin your peace?” You laughed at the indignation of the girl next to you.

“Maybe money…. or just see if I'm gay..."

“Oh…”

Miya was the only one who really knew about your acceptance issues, always saying that had no problem loving and that you deserved to be happy. But even with all her words of support, you still denied it, still claiming it was a phase and that it would pass, she didn't agree with it but she didn't argue much, she just agreed with your thoughts that it would one day pass, but she knew it wouldn't pass.

“Well, you know, they can't do anything to you, okay? Don’t be nervous, I would like to be with you when they arrive, but my parents live far away, I will have to leave early.” you agreed as you felt the girl wrap an arm around your waist. “It’s going to be okay.”

You flinched even more when you heard the knock on the door, you took a deep breath before getting up and going to the door, when you opened it you saw your mother and father with bags that you thought were some food.

“Y/n!” She smiled, you tried to return the smile.

“Come in…” you spoke quietly as you gave space for the two to enter the apartment and you closed the door, but without locking it.

“I think we're late, but we brought food, for you and your members.”

“I think they’ll enjoy having this for dinner.” your father said as he examined the place. “Are these your things?”

“Some, yes.” you stood next to them and indicated to your mother so she could put the bags on the table “Water?”

"No." you nodded and walked over to sit on the couch, your hand shook slightly in your own lap, you sighed as your parents sat down on the couch and armchair.

“I thought it would be messier… Wow Bae, you’ve gained a little weight.” You closed your eyes tightly.

“You’re right, the belly looks a little more flabby, I thought they were on diets here.” you deny it slightly before muttering.

“I’m at my ideal weight…” you played with your own fingers.

“For a whale?” you looked up at the woman who just smiled “I’m kidding darling, at least you’re a happy little pig, right?” You didn't know what to answer.

You heard their high-pitched laughs again, the same laughs that gave you severe headaches and are now being heard again, needles piercing your ears as your brain begs for silent help, all you want is for one of your limbs or your manager arrives and tells you that you have a last minute appointment, or just something so they can leave and you can be alone in your comfortable silence again.

“That black hair looks strange on you, you prefer brown, like me.” you glared before opening your mouth slightly.

“Actually… I…” you wanted to respond that you loved what they did with your hair, that it suits your skin tone even better, but none of that came out, because you’re afraid “I didn’t like it that much either… maybe I’ll change… ” she smiled and agreed.

“Not that you looked pretty, but it was more acceptable.” your father spoke as he continued to look around the room. “You should show us your room.”

"I can't." You can, but you don't want them to see your poster of Ashnikko, Red Velvet, NewJeans, or the United States flag with a photo of Karina from aespa on it.

"It cannot?" You looked at your mother.

“Company rules are strict.”

"Yes of course."

The three of you remained silent for at least 3 minutes, 3 minutes that were uncomfortable but you were still grateful, especially because whenever any of them opened their mouths you lost the will to live.

“Well…” your father started, you already knew what it was “I’ve seen these videos of your group, you with these girls, you look good together, don’t you?”

“We live together and work together… it’s not-“ you barely managed to finish when you felt a slap on your head.

“I didn’t finish talking.” you nodded silently and lowered your head “You have dating rumors with all your members and with other groups as well less than 2 months since you debuted, all the rumors are with women, aren't you ashamed of that? Not even to cause rumors of dating men? Do you want everyone to think our daughter is a lesbian?” You shook your hand.

“No… I… It’s just rumors… I don’t…” you took a deep breath “I don’t like women, I told you…” you hear a laugh.

“You’re so convincing, Y/n.”

You hated how your mother said your name with a tone of disgust, like she was going to throw up every time she said it out loud. Your stomach turned, you didn't want to have this conversation anymore, seeing the look of hatred on your father's face when you said that you might be attracted to a girl at your school gives you insomnia to this day, knowing that you will never be loved just for something that is not even your choice.

“It was just a phase… Like you said… It has passed.” had to pass.

You heard voices in the hallway, immediately getting up and going to the door when you recognized Hari's voice, when she opened the door you hugged her tightly, of course your parents couldn't see that from where they were.

“Whoa, did you miss me? You’re cute.” you squeezed her tighter and sighed heavily.

“My parents are in the room.” the older girl's smile fell.

"Holy crap." you let go of her lightly “You can thank me later.” she murmured.

“Um?”

“What the fuck, Y/n. Aren't you ready? You know we can’t be late.” she was loud and scared you, but you were happy.

“I'm sorry, I guess I didn't notice the time passing, Unnie.” you walked back enough so your parents could see your body bowing to the older one.

“It’s not me you have to apologize to, but it’s your fault I also-” she stopped when she saw your parents, she was a good actress “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“We’re Bae’s parents.”

“By the way, it must be our fault she was late.” your mother smiled, a more welcoming smile than she had given you in years.

“Well, at least she has a reason, I'm Choi Hari, I'm sorry I met you guys like this, but it's important training today for both of us.” You looked at your parents.

“Then I guess we’ll leave, it’s too late for us anyway.” they stood up and stood next to you “It was nice seeing you, Y/n.” your mother grabbed your shoulder, a grip that hurt you and almost made you scream in pain, but you've gotten used to it, a note that she's not done with you.

“It’s great to meet you Hari.” your father smiled, it was clear to you how much he was more enchanted by Hari, not in a good way.

“I can say the same.” she looked at you and your mother's hand that was holding your shoulder tightly. “Go, 3 minutes” you agreed quickly, bowing to your parents and running to your room then you closed the door tightly and sat down on the bed.

Before long the door was opened, revealing the blonde girl with a worried expression.

“Are you okay Kitty? Did they hurt you?” you shook your head as you picked yourself up a little, the space next to you on the bed sank a little “Let me see your shoulder.” you lowered your sleeve enough for the girl to see the mark left on your sensitive skin. “That bitch, wait a minute.”

You saw her leave the room and the noise of searching for something in the kitchen, when she returned with a box of first aid kit and a small ice pack, you felt safe again, no matter how much Hari irritated you or made jokes with you, she gave you comfort and security from the moment you met and you were grateful for that.

"Thanks." you murmured as you felt the blonde's soft fingers apply gel to your shoulder.

"It’s ok." you heard the girl sigh “You’re safe now, I’ll never let you be alone with any of them again, I promise.”

Taglist 🏷️ (open): @gtfoiydlyj @cloudinwjns @yncoreee @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @ourlovesarang @saysirhc @yuyuy90 @he------len

[justwritedreams]

Does your nephew have a bias? | Wooyoung

Idol Wooyoung x Reader

Word count: 1730

Genre: pure fluff

Author: maari

Warnings: Wooyoung a little jealous.

Note: I was going to do a Jongho scenario but then I remembered Wooyoung is my bias and I only have ONE imagine of him and also fluff with him is never enough so that's it.

Summary: Being your nephew's babysitter made Wooyoung ask something very important.

⩥ Ateez Masterlist

"Wow, you look lovely."

Y/N theatrically rolled her eyes upon hearing Wooyoung's laugh after speaking in a joking tone.

She was a complete mess. Sweaty, her clothes crooked while her nephew was in her arms struggling to play on the floor and the hair tied up in a way that was messier than her living room with toys scattered on the floor.

"Glad you made it." she sighed and handed her nephew to Wooyoung before he even entered her house.

"What?" he asked confusedly and reached out to hold the baby who happily went into his arms.

"Hold him, I have to pee!" she replied in a hurry and ran to the bathroom while Wooyoung laughed, taking off his shoes, closing the door.

"Hey buddy." he smiled at the baby who rubbed his eyes and laid his head on his shoulder.

It was Saturday and Y/N's day to babysit her nephew.

Her sister and the husband were working and she had already made sure she stayed with her nephew since she had the weekend off and she loved the baby.

He was about to turn a year and a half old, spending the day with him was the best thing in the world, but he was learning to walk. Which meant Y/N had to help him get around the house, always holding his tiny hand as he wanted to almost run.

It didn't look like it but it was extremely tiring and as it approached the time for him to take his nap after lunch, it was even more so.

When she returned, Wooyoung was swaying him in an almost imperceptible dance, making her smile at the scene.

"Am I at the wrong time?" he asked quietly, resting his chin on the baby's head who was almost asleep.

"Just in time." she replied in the same tone and took the bottle that was on top of the sofa. "I'll make his milk if he complains-"

"I know how to make children sleep, you know?" he interrupted and she smiled ruefully.

Of course he knew, in addition to having experience with his brother, Wooyoung was also great with kids and her nephew adored him.

She raised her arms, surrendered and went to the kitchen at the same time that her nephew started to complain.

She laughed but hearing Wooyoung talk to him, she continued on her way, he knew what to do. 

While she prepared the bottle in the kitchen, Wooyoung arranged the baby in his arms, laying him down to cuddle him better at the same time that he reached for the remote control.

Y/N's nephew loved music and he had the perfect one in mind to put him to sleep, but he stopped when he saw that the tv was on with Jongho's cover more specifically Don't Go Today.

The baby raised his head to face the tv, clearly familiar with that version and Wooyoung saw him smile before lying back in his arms, practically surrendering to sleep as Jongho's soft voice filled the room.

Wooyoung tried to contain his face of shock as he rocked the baby to sleep, looking at the TV in disbelief.

As soon as Y/N returned to the room with the bottle already warm, her nephew was already sleeping, breathing heavily with his mouth open.

"The Jongho cover? Really?" he spoke quietly, turning to face her as she placed the bottle on top of the couch.

She laughed discreetly, turning her back to Wooyoung, arranging the sofa for her nephew to stay there.

"I had to play hard, I've been trying to get him to sleep for 40 minutes." she explained as she spread out the coverlet.

And when she came back to face Wooyoung, he had a funny face like he wanted to get mad.

"I also have a cover and a very good one by the way, it has 392,000 views." he muttered, pouting.

"Put him on the couch." she laughed softly, pointing to her nephew's seat.

He complained but did so, being careful not to hurt the baby or make him wake up, and covered him with the blanket next.

Y/N took the opportunity to sit on the other end, stretching her legs that made a noise and felt her back hurt, Wooyoung sat next to her, getting in the middle between the baby and her.

Automatically Y/N's head sought Wooyoung's shoulder, leaning against it as he crossed his arms, she didn't even need to look at him to know he still had his pout.

"So your nephew has a bias."

"I think it's too early for that." she laughed softly, closing her eyes with the intention of resting for five minutes.

"Hm, I mean, he always turns his face to look at Yeosang when he appears and now he falls asleep listening to Jongho sing?" he sounded disbelieved. "In a moment you'll tell me he likes other groups too."

She just laughed and Wooyoung knew that sound well.

"What? You're not even going to deny it?"

"You know YouTube suggests other videos of the same genre, I just leave it on."

"Yes, based on what you watch often." he glanced at the tv as another video started. He knew the face that was on tv but not because it was him or the members. "NCT? Have you been listening to NCT?"

He eased the back of the sofa, making Y/N move too and she stared at him.

Wooyoung had an expression of someone who had been…betrayed.

"When you met me, you knew I liked their music." she defended herself and Wooyoung just looked at her, he didn't seem to know what to say.

And actually he didn't, because Y/N was right but seeing Jaehyun's cover playing made him feel a little jealous.

That's why he didn't say anything, he just turned off the tv since he was still holding the remote control.

She laughed tiredly and he left the remote on the couch as he eased back into the couch and Y/N followed him, feeling him wrap his arm around her shoulder.

They were silent for a while, Wooyoung trying to find an argument good enough to win that dispute but he stopped thinking about it when he felt Y/N's body give way and heard her breathing get heavier.

He moved his head enough to see that she was sleeping against him, making him sigh heavily. Now it didn't even matter which cover she listened to or not.

He stayed in that position for a while, making circular movements on her arm and when he realized that she was sleeping as soundly as her nephew, he settled her on the couch and got up, going to the kitchen to make something to eat.

While he was cooking, he thought of a way to make Y/N hear only his voice before going to sleep, after all his pride didn't accept losing to his members.

Jaehyun is fine, but Jongho? No, that was unacceptable. The youngest had an angelic voice, it was true, but he wasn't going to allow his girlfriend and her nephew to sleep listening to Jongho's cover instead of his.

As soon as he finished, he went back to the living room and, being careful not to wake the baby, he approached Y/N and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Y/N, hey." he woke her up, seeing her open her eyes slowly. "Come eat, you must be hungry."

Y/N stretched slowly, looking at her nephew and seeing that he was still sleeping, Wooyoung took the opportunity to hug her and lifted her off the couch when he saw that she was lazy. 

She got a kiss on the cheek as she got up and smiled at Wooyoung who hugged her around the waist, the two went to the kitchen, to get the food and go back to the living room.

That done, they sat down on the floor after placing the food on the coffee table in the room, Y/N's stomach rumbled so loudly that Wooyoung laughed, serving her.

She looked at him tenderly as he set the food for her.

"Thanks." she reached over to kiss his cheek. "And thanks for coming today, I know you're tired."

He shook his head, smiling as he handed her the food.

"Although I was betrayed in this house, I still do everything for you." he responded dramatically and Y/N took the food, looking at him in amusement.

"You're such a drama queen." she spoke before starting to eat, closing her eyes for a few seconds to enjoy the taste. "But you cook like nobody else."

"It is good?" he asked curiously and she nodded, eating more.

"Great, but I still feel betrayed." he shrugged and started to eat too.

"Fine, what do you want me to do to change that?" she asked, looking at Wooyoung.

He looked up thoughtfully.

"A kiss." he replied, smiling sideways and she contained her smile.

She reached over to place a quick kiss on his lips, which he'd been waiting for eagerly, and when she pulled away too quickly he complained.

"You call that a kiss?" he asked in disbelief.

"You didn't specify!" she replied and Wooyoung let go of everything he was holding to grab her by the back of her neck and truly kiss her.

His lips captured hers thirstily and she sighed, closing her eyes as she let go of what she held to grip his shoulder.

The kiss was fast and hot, the kind that stole all the air out of her in a matter of seconds.

Y/N squeezed Wooyoung's shoulder to indicate that she needed to breathe and gained a light bite on her bottom lip, making her want more but he pulled away.

She was ready to go back to kissing him but Wooyoung turned his attention back to the food, it was her turn to pout.

"We're not done yet." he winked mischievously and she laughed.

"Well, that definitely woke me up." she stated, making him put a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound of loud laughter.

"But I really have to ask you." he spoke after swallowing the food.

"What?" she looked at him, curious, he had a serious face.

"Does your nephew have a bias?"

"Wooyoung!"

[ghostphys]

Update after a week of doing this:

So it’s finally update time! Thank you all for the support on my post about this, it really meant a lot!!

I’m going to list the pros and cons of my little experiment, then add a summary/TLDR at the end of the post. This is probably going to be quite a long post as it was definitely an interesting 5 days. P.S, if you have any questions please ask! I’m 100% willing to answer.

Pros:

• My time spent studying over doubled this week. This was the most obvious pro (and the one I was kind of hoping for the most) and I’m so proud of myself for how much I managed to get done. I studied for an average of 4hours/day, whereas before I was only doing 2.

• Studying felt so much more relaxing and productive at night. This probably contributed to the increase in studying; I found I enjoyed studying more, was able to pay attention for longer periods of time, and it started to feel less like a chore, and more like a hobby.

• I started to feel more present in the moment, especially on the bus travelling to/from uni. This wasn’t something I was really expecting, but I think also was partially a result of me deleting social media (which i can totally make another post on if that’s of interest). But where I used to sleep on the bus, or even just daydream, I started to read books, look over notes, and just feel a lot more present in general, which was a fresh of breath air honestly.

• I actually felt a lot less tired while at uni. I think this is most likely due to having been awake for a while before even travelling, so I had plenty of time to wake up. As someone who suffers from both physical and mental health issues, this was really important to me and i was so so much more focused during lectures and just generally wow it was amazing.

Cons:

• Although I found it easier to study, I dedicated a lot less time to keeping my room/study area tidy. I’m not sure exactly why this was, I think maybe just moving around to tidy up at 2/3am felt a bit wrong as I was scared to make too much noise? I think the way around this would be to just tidy right before sleeping at around 6pm, but this was probably my least favourite of the cons:(

• No time for social life outside of uni. Unless your friends are all also borderline nocturnal, then yeah if you are a person who loves going out etc then this is not the schedule for you. Fortunately for me my friends already know i sleep a lot, so most of our socialising happens in between lectures during uni time. (And by that I mean going to cafés and doing even more studying).

• It was kind of hard to figure out mealtimes? Eventually I settled on only having two meals a day, but just increasing portions sizes, and having more snacks in between. This is just what worked best for me, and this wasn’t a huge con tbh, just kind of confusing at first.

• It was so much easier to just hit snooze on my alarms. Because I didn’t have to worry about a bus to catch or anything forcing me to wake up, I found myself saying ‘just five more minutes’ way more times than I should have. I definitely slept in one day sadly. I think this is definitely preventable, I’m sure there are special alarm apps to help with this sort of thing, and i’ll probably be checking that out.

Summary/TLDR: This was such a fun experience for me, I’m really super proud of myself for trying this out and for improving my studying! All in all I definitely found this to be a positive experience, obviously that’s a personal thing so please don’t take my word to be truth! But just in my experience I really found it to help my mental aspect of studying as well as just physically doing more. Although my room got a bit messier, and I kind of just got disoriented about the time of day sometimes, I definitely think these are things that could have been fixed.

Disclaimer: I only tried this for a week which is definitely not enough time to fully change your sleep schedule, and I am obviously not a professional in this field or in research. This was just a fun little experiment and a chance for me to talk about my personal experience. I’m not encouraging this behaviour or saying it is healthy. (I am not informed about the effects on health this would have long term). Do not take some random person on tumblr’s experience as a holy grail of truth or something like that.