#wow sept 2020. :) he must have just started to become good friends with one of the most important peopme in his life <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sapnapthinkr]

[meowmeowbeepy]

Wow here are some updates no one asked for

I just caught up on previous blog posts. I am sorry the last two seemed more like tweets. Here are some historical happenings since last true post (mostly I've been doing book and podcast reviews lol?)

I went to NY w/ Benny which was fun. I was so incredibly pleased w/ myself that he actually LIKED it. Lots of touristy things that we all must do at least once in this life... Next time we go back we will be more slow paced. I liked the hotel A LOT. It's great to stay in 1 central place when traveling. I know I'll have made it in life if my future hotels on vacations are nice as balls and convenient and no compromise! He liked the MET the most. I felt bad bc I was not doing well that day (abrupt #3 iykyk and hungry and feet hurt). Something I like abt Ben: he never makes me feel bad when I actually am being a problem. I cannot say I am as gracious towards crankypants. I liked the ferry ride to the Statue of Liberty! Specifically the Statue of Liberty. The island was not crowded, and we were the first group there so it was an ideal situation and felt whimsical for an iconic landmark. I also really liked seeing friends Clur and Corn. It was so nice and energetic for the limited time I had. But the most soul filling ofc was bringing Benny to grandparents. I appreciate my auntie sm for being the best (albeit crazy) caretaker of grandparents (also crazy). Family becomes everything and continues to speed up up up up in importance as we age. Our social worlds will get smaller.. not worse! Just infrequent! But family is home. That's how I can describe the feeling anyways. My translation abilities were better than I thought... Also, I knew they were old but I never felt they were any older than other grandparents. But after this trip, I could SEE and I really felt that they are getting far older than average/normal. So I treasure and am thankful for that. I hope they will be here for much longer. So much time has gone by since I was a little college kid staying majorly w/ them "upstate" and venturing towards Manhattan. Now, I don't think I could do that haha. I am such a princess haha.

Before we went to NY me, daddy, and Benny went to a Rockets game. It was perfectly fun and something I know my daddy will treasure a lot. He likes that kinda stuff.

I thought December was going to be a huge flop/slow month for HAs but it ended up being ok. January tho... extreme flop lols. But I guess I have one more week to turn it around? Doubt I can realistically. I wonder if I am not as motivated as I was when I first started :( But idunno. I think about the ethics and morals of different HA levels way more than I used to? Or at least deeper than I used to so maybe that is affecting me? I also think I am more realistic than before- I used to give my 500% and was blind to a person who probably wouldn't follow through. Now, I can see it early on and it doesn't disappoint as much I guess. Probably not good. Also, the salary drama I've recently become privy to was a weird thing to experience in my career. I didn't get TMJ from it lol and feel pretty neutral overall. But hoping the best... for all.. and for me. If I could say 1 thing I am really bleh to: the tracking and KPI of my office. The higher ups are VERY nice... but what's going to happen when my numbers aren't as good for an entire year as maybe they were Sept-Oct. But I won't be too negative, realistically I know things will ebb and flow without any change in me.

Ok last one. We got a new doggy! Born 3/21/2020... Barney! He's so sweetums and so much more DOG than Toby was. Barney is just a wee bit mischievous but it is overpowered by his loyalty and desire to be close to humans. Toby was very mischievous and not super affectionate or needy, tho very loyal w/out shame lol. (Ex. does not want love from anyone but my mom.. esp Joann) Barney is pretty sweet to all. Joann has announced that he is HER dog, which makes sense. AND I don't mind. I just want a little doggy adjacent. She is basically holding him hostage in her room which I think is funny bc his personality probably will do well w/ that. Vs. Toby hated her for that. God blessed us w/ Barney though. He is so gentle and baby that he will be a good second dog to people who VERY HONESTLY have not fully moved on from Toby. And probably never will (not in a super bad way) but he was more than a dog lollll so dramatic.

K bye

[shushthisaintmytumbla]

6/8/2021 Life Update!!!

Omg I cannot believe it has been 8 freaking months since the last time i wrote here. SO MUCH has changed its insane. JK not really, but the good news is covid is basically over!!!!!!! I got a vaccine back in March and so did my fam so I have been livvinnnn way more than the last time we spoke. I almost teared up reading back on the last life update to see strong I was at that time and how much I’ve been able to hold onto those values of self worth and confidence to this day. As much as 2020 SUCKED... so much personal growth came from it that I truly don't know if I would've had if it weren't for life slowing down, working from home, and being able to really focus on myself. 

I guess to reflect on some of the past 8 months... that boy i mentioned i was talking to but wasn't sure about hmm idk how to explain it but I definitely never felt a spark.. we hung quite a few times, but everything felt very structured and I don't know if it was because of the state of the world or if I just wasn't really into it. But I must say im really grateful to have met him and I still talk to him every now and then to this day. I think he's a really sweet human and someone I want in my life as a friend. He moved to NYC so who knows maybe ill see him over there ;)

Since were on the boy update, I’ve recently went on a couple dates with 2 different guys both super sweet but idk im not seeking something and its definitely difficult to try to date while still living in OP. I hate keeping secrets, but I HATE the idea of telling my parents about a date lol 

Work has pretty much remained the same buuuut about a month after my last post i really stuck to my gun about wanting something new and exciting and I got a job as an assistant to an influencer. It has been a really fun experience getting to learn more about the business side of things and I can definitely see my career shifting in that direction if I want out of the music biz. My boss boss recently just left the company so things are starting to pick up more with work which could affect this influencer role. Im just gonna let my real job play out and see where things go. We were told a return to office date in Sept. which I am very very scared about. I DO NOT want to go back to an office. As much as I love socializing, I LOVE the flexibility and freedom of WFH. It is definitely a HUGE reason why I have been able to stay so fit the past year and a half. I’m really scared about going back to a 9-5 office life and lose this motivation I have rn for fitness. 

As far as the future, I am SO confused on where I am headed which is really scary but I guess exciting too. I have not given up my hopes of moving to NYC. It is literally all I think about most days. I know my parents would be super bummed for me to move away, but at this point i have no desire to be back in LA. I would have no one I really care to live with here since everyone else kind of is moving out with others or have different plans. I really just think I need change after a year of so much stillness. I crave a new city, making new friends, and making a new version of myself or I guess just building off of this new found appreciation I have for my self. Moving across the country sounds very scary to me, but I know I need to do it. Im dead set on the idea. I just need to find a job and a place to live there lol. I do have some leads on roommates (Molly and then maybe this girl I met from Molly in Prague). The issue with it is i don't think they'd move till Feb 2022, which seems like FOREVER AWAY.

Living at home makes me feel like my life is on pause. I don't feel like I can grow or become my own person while under my parents roof. Also, since the last time we’ve chatted here, a lot of family dynamic has changed. Im not gonna spill the tea here bc its really deep and personal and thats a lot for saying on a platform where im fine writing EVEERYTHING. Its just something i can't come to terms with opening up about to anyone, but lets just say I need distance and to create my own future. 

As far as life, I have been able to travel a lot more in the past few months. In the beginning of May I spent 2 weeks in Hawaii with Mckay, her friend Mara, Cassidy, and Mara’s friend Daron. It was SO fun. The most fun I’ve had in a while. It was my first time on a plane in so long and it felt soooo good to be away. I also have travelled to Phoenix/Scottsdale AZ a couple times with Fiona and that was so fun. I am weirdly obsessed with AZ now I could also see myself living there if it weren't so damn hot and if i knew some more people. Traveling again fills me with so much joy. I have some other fun trips coming up like Glacier National park with my family, another trip to AZ (lol told you im obsessed) for my birthday weekend, and I even purchased CONCERT TICKETS for Kygo in sept. wow I can't wait for my first concert back. oh wait i also have Harry in AUGUST fuck ya life is getting good again.

I’m really not sure what the new few months holds for me with work, friends, relationships, where I will end up, etc. which really scares me and I don't know why. I usually like having things figured out and a game plan and I legit have none. If you ask me now my hope is to get out by late aug/sept. I have some plans through then, so after that I really want to dig into my escape to NYC. Covid kinda fucked up life threw me around and is now spitting me back into a place where i don't know where to go or when to make the next move. I feel at a weird place with my friendships. Obviously I love my friends, but everyone is kinda starting to do their own thing, focus on themselves, and go on their own necessary path, and that is why I am so motivated to make my own. I have been manifesting a move to New York for almost a year now lol so CASE the next time we meet here you better have a fricken plan to get your butt to New York. Do it for yourself. Do it and don't look back. Change will be good and necessary. YOU GOT THIS.

Talk soon x

Casey