#wow my first saw post waow

[dilutedbeanibeans]

me when he leaves me down there to rot

still under the cut because tumblr loves to crunch the quality 💔💔💔

[justlookatthosesausages]

“In the eye of the storm” ◊◊◊◊ a post-Frozen 2 fanfic ◊◊◊◊ CHAPTER 3: Pressure

"What did I dream of?" Asked Elsa.

Eydis and Anna looked at each other, a bit unsure. The Queen cleared her throat.

"Uhm... I mostly remember woods, and a river... I think it was the Enchanted Forest. I didn't really get time to see much of it. I was most of all amazed by its details than the actual thing in general. Eydis has seen it all. What was it about, sweetheart?"

The little princess pouted as she thought.

"Hummm... You were doing the dishes."

A blank passed. Kristoff eyed his sister-in-law.

"...The dishes? Why would you dream about doing the dishes?"

He then frowned. "And why would the very first of your materialized dreams be about doing the dishes?"

Anna squinted at him. "There is nothing demeaning in doing the dishes."

Kristoff reassured her with a smile. "That's not what I meant. Dishes is an everyday task. Why did Elsa dream of this one? What was so particular about this one?"

The blonde blushed at his question.

"Nothing... Much. Nothing much about it."

Anna lifted an eyebrow. She kept eye contact with her sister as she asked her daughter again about what was Elsa's reaction during the manifestation.

"She smiled and laughed all along." Grinned Eydis, happy to help.

A smirk extended Anna's lips as Elsa sipped her tea nervously.

Worst. Breakfast. Ever. 

=======

The wind was blowing strong when Anna and Elsa stepped out, but thankfully, the rain was in the form of scattered showers now, so it would be a good setting to see how the storm evolved with the help of the Earth Spirit.

While Elsa literally didn't wear anything different than the clothes she had inside, which was her white outfit with a recent addition of light unbreakable armor pieces made of her ice, Anna was sporting four different layers of clothing.

"You should put your gloves on."

"Don't exaggerate. I know that you're not bothered by the cold, but this weather is fine. I've seen worse."

"They will be useful for later." Smirked Elsa. "We will be climbing a Giant, remember?"

"I hope it won't be dangerous."

Years of leader maturity and maternal instinct had brought prudence to her vocabulary.

"Don't worry, Stan is very careful."

Anna scoffed. The Fifth Spirit thought she was laughing because of the personality trait, but she laughed because of the name.

"Stan?"

"Yes. He's one of the Giants. The one who has a flat forehead, you know?"

The younger looked at her sister with fascination as they made their way through the village and to the limits of it. She was able to recognize each and every Giant?

"Did you seriously name all of them?"

"Well, yes. They don't have names, so when I need their help independently, it's useful. Also, they may have a hive mind and act as one Spirit, they're all different, you're aware of that?"

"Of course I am", genuinely answered Anna. "I'm the other half of the Bridge, may I remind you. And I do my homework."

Elsa smiled and nudged her sister with her shoulder. She nudged her back.

"By the way, I named him Stan because—"

"It's a word game with 'stone'. Yeah, I got it. I have an Elsa-has-terrible-humor sixth sense."

Elsa started lifting her arm to tap her head, but Anna grinned and ran away, so they ran after each other until the end of the village.

Once they reached the bottom of the mountains where no house was, panting and laughing, Elsa stopped walking and turned her face to the heights, closing her eyes. She focused in a way that was familiar to Anna and never ceased to amaze her. She was calling to another Spirit. The redhead particularly loved the way Elsa smiled when she did so, because she sensed the other's energy before actually asking for their help. If she was calling to a Giant playing around, she had a chuckle, or if she was calling to Bruni and he was currently making a mess somewhere, she had a groan. Here, she just smirked, so Anna guessed that so-called Stan was sleeping.

"He was sleeping." Announced Elsa once she opened her eyes. "But he's on his way. I told him that you were with me and he's coming as fast as he can without making an earthquake."

Anna grinned. The Earth Spirit always has had a soft spot for her for the past 11 years. After all, she was the one who succeeded in their challenge. And as Nokk, Gale and Bruni each were one entity, and that the Earth one was composed of tens of individuals, she always felt proud of being the side of the Bridge who technically won against the most Spirits. The ground trembled slightly, but only slightly, when Stan made his approach.

He shadowed over them, but it was the opposite of a threat; he smiled when he saw Elsa, then grinned widely when he saw Anna, his mouth the size of a house.

"Waow, now I recognize him. He's one of the tallest, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. He's one of those who escorted me to Arendelle, and his size is perfect for what we need to do."

He bent his head to them, and the two sisters touched his chin with their hands. They exchanged a glance, beaming in happiness, and Elsa approached closer to put her forehead against him. They magically exchanged like they did before, and this time, Elsa told him their plan.

He grunted in approval. The Snow Queen turned to her sister.

"Okay. He knows what to do."

Stan reached out his hand, which was the size of three houses, noted Anna, and the redhead nervously looked at her elder.

"After you!" Invited Elsa with a smirk.

Anna had never done this. She felt very nervous, but Stan seemed to sense it and lifted one of his fingers to help her grab something as she climbed.

"Wow, wow, wow!" She exclaimed when the hand started to move, and Elsa was casually laid against the Giant's thumb, her arms crossed nonchalantly as Anna was holding to another finger with all arms and legs around it.

She peeked down and saw the ground go away at high speed as Stan brought them up to his shoulder, depositing Elsa there, then aiming at his second shoulder, putting Anna down.

The Queen didn't want to let go of the finger. Elsa smiled.

"Anna, it will be okay. Give him his hand back."

"Uhgh?" Blabbered her younger, staring at the ground more than twenty meters below.

Elsa had to bite her lip to not laugh and mock her.

"Trust me, Stan has excellent reflexes. He'll catch you if you fall."

She believed her sister enough to accept. She however grabbed a fault in the rock forming the Giant's cheek and used it as a handle to keep her balance. Elsa was staring at her as she stood on the other shoulder, standing straight with only her hand against Stan's face, but it was for good measure and respect. Anna's jaw dropped.

"How can you do that with ice sandals?"

Elsa smiled. "The experience. I was like you at first, don't worry."

Stan started to climb up the mountain, and Anna saw how much height they were about to take so she preferred to look at her sister's face, the most reassuring thing she could do in such a stressful time.

"So, are we going to continue that discussion?"

"Which one?"

"The one about your magic dream."

"Don't call it that way!" Blushed Elsa. "Besides, is it really the moment?"

"It's definitely the moment. Nobody can hear us here, and I've seen how bashful you were at breakfast. Come on, tell me!" Grinned Anna.

Elsa looked down, which the redhead misinterpreted.

"Is it because we're with Stan? I'm sure he won't repeat it. Right, buddy?"

The Earth Giant chuckled with its cavernous voice as he climbed up, and it had a haunting sound, but Anna laughed along.

"See? Now come ooooon, please Elsa!"

The blonde now was amused.

"Why do you sound like you're about to have gossip?"

"Because it is gossip! That dream, it was Honeymaren and you, right? In a cheerful moment, right? Why was this dream the very first dream ever that you get to materialize? And I hope it won't be the last."

Elsa now blushed.

"Maybe..."

"Maybe...?" Smiled Anna.

"Will you let me finish?" Grunted Elsa.

"You seem very reluctant."

"Because I don't know how to say it, it's more of a feeling!"

Anna smiled so much, her cheeks puffed. "Ohhh, is that so?"

Elsa grumbled a 'stop it.' She wished they had arrived to the spot already. Honeymaren and her had been together for almost 10 years, and she still felt modest talking about it.

"It's because it was a very happy memory, right?" Guessed Anna, her voice calm.

It actually took Elsa out of her thoughts.

"Yes, it was."

"Did you actually dream of it, or was it a memory submission from Ahtohallan?"

While Elsa thought, Stan had reached the top of the mountain.

"No, it truly was a dream of mine."

"I see." Smiled Anna.

"What do you see?" Groaned Elsa.

She turned to her with sarcasm, and Anna's eyes had widened to the size of two big teal blue balls.

"I see a disaster."

"A disaster?" Repeated Elsa. "Wow, that's really harsh. I won't ask you for advice agai—"

"No, Elsa, look!"

She had held tight to the Giant's face with one hand so she could use the other to turn her sister's jaw the other way, and show her the horizon.

Elsa's face went even paler than the usual.

"Oh no..."

It was even worse than she had imagined in her worst-case scenario. She had thought that the storm had started with Nokk and Gale's fight in the Forest, and that it reverberated to Arendelle's kingdom because it was close, but what Anna and Elsa witnessed now was the ultimate proof that the storm had gone very, very much more than a simple local magical event.

The storm was extending to the horizon. Literally the horizon. Even Elsa, whose sight got sharpened since she lived in the woods and became used to hunt, couldn't see the limits of it. It seemed infinite, in the saddest of ways.

"It..." Croaked Elsa, her voice twisted by the ball in her throat.

"It has extended to the whole country." Murmured Anna.

Elsa started to lose her balance. Breathing heavily, her vision became blur, and she felt like she was a second away from fainting. Stan felt her distress, sharing her deep sadness, and anticipated her fall by raising his hand against the shoulder she was on. The Snow Queen grabbed to the smallest finger, and breathed in and out calmly, holding tight to it.

"Thank you." She murmured to the Giant, her temple against the rock, her heart pounding so fast that she was pretty certain the other Spirit could sense it there.

Anna hadn't notice Elsa's prevented fall because she had been staring at the horizon with a hand covering her mouth in shock.

The Queen recognized every land that was affected by the storm, covering them with a gloomy atmosphere with dark clouds filled of heavy rain and pressured air announcing tempests. Each of them being neighbors of Arendelle. Allies. All those regions may have different rulers, but they belonged to the same country.

A silence passed, only rhythmed by the sinister sound of wind.

"I have to do something."

The two sisters looked at each other. In another context, they would have laughed and played on the fact they said it at the same time. But this was not the time for games. It was one with adult decisions.

"This is all my fault." Started Elsa. "It's my duty as the Fifth Spirit to keep an eye on Nokk and Gale and ensure that everything is alright. I have to try reaching for their energies and—"

"As a leader, I should go help the other kingdoms and ask if they need us to share our resources." Stated Anna above Elsa's voice. "I need to organize an international council so we could decide of the urgency—"

They suddenly realized that their objectives weren't crossing at all. In fact, they were filling the other completely. For once in a very long while, they had nothing to contradict, nothing to prevent the other from doing, and they had established correctly their tasks.

Anna had an amused smirk. "So this is what we do, uh?"

"Looks like it." Breathed out Elsa.

The wind blew hard, and now that they were high in the sky, they had nothing to get sheltered. The Giants had managed to protect Elsa from the magical storm with their hands on her way to Arendelle, but Stan couldn't do much on his own with one person on each shoulder.

He sent a mental warning to Elsa, who nodded.

"Anna, hold on to my hand. We're going down."

The redhead made her way to the ground with her elder and the Giant's help. Stan returned to the mountain he was sleeping against, acting to make sure that it wouldn't crumble into the fjord because of the uprooted trees.

The Snow Queen looked at him go, and she started to tremble, but this had nothing to do with the weather, and Anna perceived it. She walked around her sister and put her hands on her shoulders once she faced her to incite her to not panic.

"Elsa. Look at me. We'll find a solution together, and this can also mean that we'll do the best of ourselves separately. You got it?"

All worry left Elsa's heart the second Anna's powerfully warm voice got to her heart.

"Yes, I do."

She approached her forehead, and Anna smiled as she willingly touched hers.

"Together. Always."

"Always."

They stayed like that, in the embrace of the other, enjoying this moment and each other's positivity. They knew that this force would forever be theirs, just like their bond was unique and their complementarity the best asset.

After a moment, Anna shivered.

"But maybe we should go back to the castle for now." She chuckled.

"Yeah, good call." Laughed Elsa. "Come."

They quickly walked back to the castle, laughing nervously.

"So did you give all the Giants different names?"

"Why yes."

"Let me guess, one of them is called Brock."

"How do you— Just kidding, none of them is called Brock. But that's a nice one, I'll think of it if one of them want to change."

"Oh, so you let them choose." 

"Obviously. I'm not a monster. Stan loves his name, for example."

Anna smiled. "It's a cute thing to do."

"It's also because the Northuldra very rarely name things. So it's a little game I allow myself. Bruni is named like that because it literally is the Sami word for 'fire'. Nokk's name is based on the legendary nokken. But the Wind Spirit has no name, just like the Earth one. The Northuldra rarely use the name 'Gale', actually."

"Yeah, Ryder corrected me about it the other day."

They had reached the gates. Once they passed the doors, the servants closed them behind the sisters with relieved gasps to see they were safe and sound. They helped Anna change, and the redhead rubbed her hands together.

"Maybe a minute or two by the fire would be great."

Elsa nodded and they walked to the living room.

As they did, they bumped into a very distressed Kristoff in the corridor.

"Thanks gods you're here."

Anna frowned. "What happened?"

The King looked overwhelmed.

"Kristoff, what's going on? Why do you look so panicked?" Worried Elsa.

He couldn't add a word, so they followed him in the living room, where someone was standing.

Here, removing her fur coat and covered with rain from head to toes, a familiar Northuldra swirled to them when she heard them enter. Anna recognized her with surprise.

"Honeymaren?"

The brunette took off her hat, and when she met Elsa's eyes, hers filled with rage and she frowned, angrily pointing her finger at her.

"YOU. We need to TALK."

Her girlfriend gulped. 

=======

Elsa was frozen still.

"Honey? When did you— Where did you— Why?"

Honeymaren put her had down. "Nice to see you too."

Kristoff interfered. "She just arrived. I put her reindeer in the stables. Sven is delighted to have a buddy. He's getting old and a little company is exactly what he needs."

Elsa's eyes switched from the man to Honeymaren.

"You came here on a REINDEER? In such a STORM?" Shouted Elsa.

The brunette's jaw dropped. "Don't you even dare to be the one to raise your voice. You went through this storm on your own as well WITHOUT TELLING ME!"

Kristoff winced and took this as a call to leave the room discreetly.

Elsa blabbered before formulating her response.

"I was planning to send you an ice statue to tell you I'm alright!"

Honeymaren put her hands on her hips.

"Uh-uh? And when?"

"Well... When I..."

"When you would finally assemble the courage to tell me, isn't it. And I suppose that Anna didn't know that I didn't know?"

The redhead bit her lip in awkwardness as the two turned to her. She shook her head to say no, and the couple resumed their dispute.

Anna missed a heartbeat. So that was the thing she tried to remember the day before! When Elsa had said 'season', it reminded her of the suspicious way her sister had explained Honeymaren's absence. Sure, the season of harvest and crops had been keeping them busy, but she had thought it had ended by now. It was clear in this moment: Elsa had lied. Honeymaren absolutely was available. The blonde only had kept it secret that she came to Arendelle. Anna felt angry and sad, watching the two lovers raise their tone against each other.

"I was about to send you the ice statue any day now, I swear!" Trembled Elsa.

Her girlfriend squinted. They didn't have much ways of communication when Gale couldn't be there to deliver messages. The only idea they had come up with was for Elsa to send happy ice memories through the distance if she was okay, and sad ones if she wasn't. However, there was no way for Honeymaren to answer.

"Any day now?"

Elsa winced at her terrible slip of the tongue.

"And that would have been a convenient situation for you, uh?" Accused the brunette, crossing her arms. "Because I couldn't have prevented you from doing it, due to the fact I can't give a message back."

Elsa clenched her jaw. She was running out of claims and clearly losing the argument, so she changed the topic.

"Well, you shouldn't have come! It's too dangerous in this weather!"

The Northuldra stared at her with overflowing sarcasm.

"What, like it's hard?"

"No, because I care about you!" Frowned Elsa, her cheeks red. "You should have stayed in the Forest!"

"And you should have warned me that you came here to see Anna!" Exclaimed Honeymaren with a frown.

Elsa was about to reply, but she knew she was the one in the wrong. She looked down with shame, her voice quieter. "I didn't want you to know that the Spirits went mad."

The Northuldra puffed with offense. "You think I don't know how to tell that the Spirits are angry by looking at a storm?"

Elsa's hands passed along her other arm nervously. "Sorry, I... I just didn't want you to panic..."

"I AM panicking right now! Elsa, WHY didn't you tell me anything?!"

The blonde slowly lifted her eyes at her girlfriend's scolding tone. Her azure blue eyes were glistening when she finally crossed her chestnut ones.

"I didn't want you to think I had gone mad too."

A silence passed in the room, Honeymaren clearly taken aback, and Anna was shocked too. Elsa's eyes immediately looked down again, and her fingers clenched.

She curled against herself. Shame and guilt fell on her shoulders just like raindrops were falling from Honeymaren's hair. Her lips trembled.

"I'm so sorry, Honey, I'm the worst, I keep having this mannerism after all those years and I shouldn't push you away like I did, I really am a idio—"

Elsa interrupted herself when something came close to her in a swift move and held her cheeks. She barely had the time to make a jerking head move upwards that Honeymaren pressed her lips against hers and kissed her deeply.

Although surprised by the sudden contact, the blonde realized how much she had missed it, how therapeutic and relieving and delightful and divine kissing Honeymaren was. Closing her eyes as well, she pressed her lips back intensely.

The Northuldra had the reflex to kiss Elsa before any dark or sad thought invaded her heart, filling it instead with intense love. It was efficient as always, The Snow Queen's mind now feeling dizzy by her affection.

Elsa had never missed kissing her so bad, all her stress from the passing days vanishing like snow in the sun. She had a relaxed eyebrows expression, and Honeymaren smiled in their long kiss.

Anna smirked at the scene before politely looking elsewhere as they continued to embrace. How long was that smooch? Did they even breathe?

They finally split up, gasping, and looked at each other at arm's length. Elsa's hands rested on Honeymaren's hips, and the latter went on the blonde's shoulders.

The Snow Queen was blushing, her gaze deeply lost in her lover's.

"Okay, I got it."

"Yep. No self-depreciation in my presence. In fact, no more self-depreciation."

Elsa smiled warmly.

Honeymaren passed the back of her fingers on her girlfriend's cheek with a sad smile, recognizing in her features how many times the blonde had doubted of herself and undervalued her competences since the last time they talked.

"It's alright, snømus. I know why you acted like that."

She passed a hand in Elsa's short hair, noticing its length when she inspected her face. Honeymaren could tell that the Snow Queen had put more ice than usual in them to prevent some to obstruct her vision. She smiled lovingly.

"I should cut your hair again. It will be getting in your eyes soon. When this is all over, I'm giving you a new cut session."

Elsa grinned, beaming.

"I love those sessions."

Honeymaren always relaxed her when she cut her hair, and she had been doing it every time since Elsa decided to have this style. The Northuldra always took the time to prepare a peaceful setting in the silence of their hut, with only the sound of the blade, Honeymaren breathing close to her and bathing her in her unique scent.

Anna cleared her throat to remind them of her presence, which made Elsa blush even harder, and Honeymaren chuckled.

"We should prepare lunch so Honeymaren can join us." Said Anna. "Elsa, would you mind tell the cooks that we'll be one more person?"

The Snow Queen blinked. "No, not at all. On my way."

She walked to the closest door.

Anna looked at her go for a moment, then grinned with amusement.

"The kitchens are the other way, Elsa."

"Yes. Yes absolutely."

The blonde walked in the other direction, and looked elsewhere as she passed in front of her sister and her girlfriend, visibly blushing.

The Queen shook her head once she turned at the angle of the corridor. "Gosh, she really loses all her brain cells when you're around."

Honeymaren giggled. "Well, we missed each other. We haven't seen each other for five days."

Anna twirled to her. "Five days? But she arrived two days ago."

The Northuldra smiled. "I know. She spent a lot of time trying to fix this storm by herself, and walked around the Forest searching for solutions with the help of the other Spirits. Even if it's Bruni's behavior which made me guess she had left our territory, I knew that she was heading to Arendelle, because some Giants were missing. It was obvious she would get worried for you and wanted to make sure you all were alright, and come in person to protect you in case it gets worse."

Anna's jaw dropped. She blinked back tears as Honeymaren nodded with a sad wince, and both slowly turned to where their loved one had left the room.

The Queen's eyes got lost, staring at nothing. She understood why Elsa had hidden the truth, and knew that her elder couldn't help this mannerism and that 13 years of trauma weren't going to be healed from in a snap of the fingers. She still had work to do about it more than 10 years after the Great Thaw.

In the corridor, something caught both their attentions: a child passed along an adult who seemed to bend to give her instructions, and the girl gasped when she recognized Honeymaren.

"AUNTIEMAREEEEEEN!"

She ran at full speed to the inside of the room, her tutor watching her go with a sigh. He took the mental note to repeat his last sentence the next time they had class, because the princess obviously will have forgotten.

The brunette cackled as the little ball of energy hugged her tight.

"Autiemaren?" She repeated.

"Sorry about that." Smiled Anna. "She came up with that term and doesn't want to drop it since."

"That's alright. I find it cute."

"Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!" Begged the girl, lifting her arms.

Honeymaren chuckled. Eydis being 8 years old, her parents now refused to lift her in their arms, using it as an opportunity to tell her she was a grown up now. Yet, what interested the princess wasn't to be held, but to see until which age her aunt would be able to pick her.

The Northuldra lifted a teasing eyebrow. Her biceps clenched under her beige tunic as she playfully grabbed her laughing niece from the floor, flicking her like she weighed nothing.

"You're barely the weight of a log!" Giggled Honeymaren. "But you're heavier than the last time I saw you! You grow up so fast, even in a month!"

Anna smiled tenderly at the scene.

=======

"And I learned about trigonometry!" Exclaimed Eydis, finishing her summary as they were all eating around the table.

"That's amazing!" Smiled Honeymaren. "You're going to be so smart!"

The princess giggled, and then exclaimed:

"And so strong! I've become a super good carftsperson!"

"Craftsperson." Corrected Elsa with a smile, but her niece wasn't paying attention.

She had suddenly got off the table, and ran to her toolbox which was on a chair in a corner since the last time she played with it.

"And look! I have so many awesome stuffs."

Anna was touched by her enthusiasm, but her fish was served. She gently tugged on her daughter's arm.

"Eydis, not now. We're eating. Maybe later."

The princess pouted at her mother's sentence and put the box on the floor. She returned to her seat, and the Queen gave a sign to a maid that meant 'Discard this toolbox the minute she looks away.'

"I'll play with you later." Winked Honeymaren.

The girl beamed, and hungrily grabbed her fork.

Anna and Honeymaren, sitting on each side of Elsa, went into a discussion about the latest political decisions following the storm, and Kristoff, who was next to Eydis in front of Elsa, got into the 'Ain't ice wonderful?' topic like they did many times. They both always were very passionate about the subject, and now were entering in a debate on which month was best to harvest ice.

Kristoff, who had been serving Eydis, suddenly stared at the blonde.

"Elsa, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Did I say something that hurt you?" Worried the King.

"What? No, what are you talking about?"

He pointed at her.

"Your glass is freezing."

Elsa looked down swiftly at his warning, and dropped her glass with a scared move. It shattered on the table along with the water it contained, now frozen, and the ice and glass fragments dispersed between the platters. Everyone stared at it then stared at her.

"Wha— I didn't..."

"Elsa, what's wrong?!" Panicked Anna.

"Do you feel alright?" Worried Honeymaren.

Both had put a hand on each of her shoulders, and she blinked in confusion.

"I'm fine, I swear. I don't know how that happened."

She waved her hand and the ice melted, vanishing in a thousand snowflakes that hovered up in the air.

"I'm sorry if I startled you." Said Elsa, staring at the shattered glass remaining on the table.

The Snow Queen then noticed that Honeymaren and Anna still had their hands on her shoulders.

"Maybe you shouldn't touch me. We never know..."

Anna shook her head, forcing her smile despite her worry. "Nonsense. We're never gonna get scared of you."

Honeymaren nodded.

She wanted to pass a hand along her back to assure her they would support her no matter what, but her fingers were stuck to her ice shoulder piece.

"Uh..."

It was the same for Anna, who wanted to resume eating, and they looked at each other.

"What?" Frowned Elsa, seeing that their attitude was weird.

She then looked at Anna's fingers. The redhead muttered.

"I think it's because your ice is... Very cold, for some reason."

"Elsa, calm down." Advised her girlfriend.

"I am calm!" Jolted Elsa.

"That doesn't sound very calm." Murmured Kristoff.

"I heard that." Hissed Elsa. "I swear on Ahtohallan that I am not upset or anything. I..."

She then realized what feeling it was. And blushed a bit.

"I'm feeling really great, actually. I'm pumped up, and I haven't felt this fit in a while. I'm in very good shape."

The blonde even sounded excited, and Anna lifted an eyebrow. Elsa smiled, fascinated.

"It feels exactly like when I leave Ahtohallan. I always regain magical energy once I visit the glacier. But that can't be it... It's too far."

"That would however explain why you're so cold..." Said the redhead, still struggling to take her hand off her.

"I'm cold?" Gasped Elsa.

Then she realized that Anna and Honeymaren's breaths were becoming visible, creating clouds like they had just entered winter. Elsa immediately felt fear rising in her, but grabbed the emotion on the go and clenched her eyes shut. She barely had made one breathing in that she forced herself to calm down, breathing out slowly and steadily.

Her experience paid off. The ice of her shoulder pieces retrieved their normal cold and the air its regular temperature, and both women gasped lightly as they took their hands off. Elsa winced.

"I'm so so—"

"Elsa." Said the two at the same time.

Her blue eyes widened. Anna chuckled at their synchronization.

"It's nothing. Everything's back to normal." She assured.

Elsa pouted.

"Because I focused to calm down, but that still doesn't explain..."

"It's fine, snømus. Relax. We're not resentful at all." Guaranteed Honeymaren.

Elsa almost cried at the caring eyes of all her family staring at her. Even Eydis had a smile as she was eating her fish again. A servant bent over the table to pick the glass fragments, and the Snow Queen got impressed by how close to her he was standing. Nobody, in the entire room, was even scared about what has just happened. There was palpable confusion for sure, but now most of them were resuming to their occupations.

The maids served the next course, taking advantage of the glass clean-up and the move back to the kitchen to also grab Eydis' toolbox and bring it back to her bedroom.

"Well, that was weird..." Chuckled Honeymaren, genuinely finding it funny that they got stuck to her like bugs to resin.

"And new." Commented Anna, also smiling. "Since when can you do that?"

"I didn't do it on purpose, I told you." Replied Elsa nervously. "I guess that I crafted my armor colder than usual this morning. I didn't feel the difference. It's weird."

The Queen puffed.

"That's not weirder than having your dreams materialized in ice dust."

Honeymaren coughed on her wine. "Excuse me, what?"

"Ohhhh, yeah. We have to tell you that."

Anna then proceeded to explain all of what had happened in the night, helped with Eydis' descriptions which were adorable, and made sure to omit no detail.

Honeymaren was speechless by the end of her story, and Eydis was tempted to tap her chin up to make her close her dropped jaw.

"Holy Spirits, I'm so disappointed I didn't get to assist to that." Muttered the brunette.

Elsa watched her girlfriend above clenched fingers against her face.

"You don't... Find it crazy?"

The Northuldra laughed loudly. "Elsa, I've once seen you sneeze snowmen after I tickled your nose with a feather. I'm immunized from all craziness for my entire life."

The Snow Queen chuckled, and they exchanged a tender gaze. Anna couldn't help but note how perfect their match was. Her sister was lucky to have such a devoted and open-minded lover.

"You mean that it never happened before?" Inquired Kristoff.

Honeymaren snorted. "No. Not that I think of. And we've been sleeping together for a decade now. I think I'd have noticed it if it started to snow inside the hut at night. I mean, during her dreams."

In the silence that followed, Elsa blushed furiously. Nobody else seemed to note the innuendo, thankfully.

"Say, in the game in her dream, did I win?" Honeymaren asked to Eydis.

"Yeah, you did!" Grinned the girl. "And you two laughed a lot about it."

"That was definitely last week. Aw, you dreamt about it. You're really not good at that game." Smirked the brunette.

Elsa gasped. "That's because you cheated! You hid behind a tree!"

"Since when hiding is against the rules?"

"Since..." Elsa grumbled. "Never mind."

"The good thing is that now, I know you didn't pretend to lose to make me win." Smiled her girlfriend, nudging her.

Elsa shook her head with a smile.

"Do you think that it's why she has this 'powers boost'?" Teased Kristoff. "To take revenge on you?"

"Ooooh, maybe." Joked the Northuldra.

Her face then suddenly got very serious.

"Or maybe it's the storm." She suggested, her tone thoughtful.

All stopped eating, even Elsa. She noticed.

"What? The Water and Wind Spirits are fighting, if your theory is correct. It would make sense if your powers suddenly increased. It's either due to the magic of the storm in the air, or to compensate their absence."

The blonde nodded.

"You're right... That could be it."

She put her cutlery down and looked at her hands, folding and unfolding her fingers like she always did when she was thinking about her magic.

"I do feel a change... But it's not something different in my powers, it's really more like they are like... Refreshed."

"That's definitely the word." Joked Kristoff.

They all laughed, and Elsa was more than glad to have them all surrounding her in this instant and in life, forgetting the oddness of the situation and now only paying in mind its good side: she was in perfect shape to face whatever danger her family would get in.

=======

Sounds of steel against steel resonated through the ball room, also used as the throne room, but in the current moment turned into the training one. Benches had been disposed against the walls, and boxes of armory had been brought in. Some guards were free to enter to train, the Queen insisting that the storm made no exception for her weekly class.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Puffed Anna, blowing a strand of her hair that had fallen to her face.

Elsa chuckled from the bench she was sit on. "I forgot how distracting it was to watch you sparring."

Anna grinned, taking her breath back, and a new soldier entered the zone, giving her a sign that they could start their combat training.

The redhead struck the first blows, and the Arendelle guard training against her with the same shield and sword had to duck and twirl faster than he expected. As his first practice fight against her, he was quite surprised.

"Wanna join?" Asked Anna, turning to her elder and sparring at the same time.

The soldier was a bit annoyed by her distraction. "Your Majesty, focus, please."

Anna lifted a sarcastic eyebrow, barely laid eyes on his posture, and strategically hit him right where he didn't expect it.

With a gasp, he bent over at the shock, and dropped his sword.

"Bold of you to think I can't do two things at a time." Stated the Queen, twirling her sword to celebrate her victory.

The other soldiers chuckled, standing on the side of the room. None of them was foolish enough to provoke her during their duels, but the man has just learned his lesson.

"No, thanks." Declined Elsa, smiling at the scene. "I'm not really the fighting type, you know that."

"Yes. But it's worth the try." Shrugged Anna as she drank water from the gourd disposed on another bench, and cleaned her face with a towel. "Since we were kids, you always have been more of a pacifist, and you're even more since you handle your powers perfectly."

She recited that second part like she had heard it a thousand times, and sounded the same way than her daughter reluctantly citing a lesson.

"Because being one with magic and nature now allow you to have alternatives in conflict." Said Kristoff on the same tone than his wife as he entered the room.

Elsa noticed their mockery and the smirks they had just exchanged. Did she say that this often?

"Are you two making fun of me?"

"No."

"Not at all."

The two lovers giggled, and Elsa eyerolled. In the move, she saw that Honeymaren had entered the room.

"I volunteer to train against you." She smiled, enthusiastic.

"Honeymaren!" Exclaimed Anna, taking one more gulp of the gourd. "Sure! Step in! It's been a while since the last time we fought each other."

The Northuldra smirked. "Let's see if you improved your footwork, fire head."

Anna grinned and grabbed her sword and shield back, taking position at the center of the room. The soldiers and servants stared at her, their attention driven to the upcoming fight.

Honeymaren took her tunic and sweater off, fully exposing her biceps and her large shoulders with the simple shirt she had underneath. She tightened the belt of her pants and walked to the armory stock, passing by Elsa. As she did, a rare ray of sun passed between the stormy clouds and lit up her body, which suddenly made Elsa craving for the water in Anna's gourd.

"Let me see..." Muttered Honeymaren, inspecting every weapon available.

She eyed a heavy mace with a disgusted 'That's barbaric' expression. She slowly stared at every item, her hands hovering a ranseur and a dagger. Anna had picked a long sword, which was rather random, but the redhead could fight with pretty much anything. If she believed Kristoff's story, she once kicked a wolf with a lute. However, the long sword didn't inspire Honeymaren.

Elsa noted the hesitation of her girlfriend.

"There's nothing here that looks like Northuldra's wood staffs, Honey." She murmured.

The brunette nodded and turned to Anna.

"Sorry, but I'm not gonna use a lethal weapon. It's against what I stand for."

The redhead was disappointed for many reasons.

"Don't worry", assured Honeymaren with a raised hand. "It's not gonna be a disadvantage."

She bent to the big box and picked one of the shields in it. She recognized the same crocus motif on it than on the ones Mattias and his soldiers had for years in her home place, but this one was more sophisticated and obviously designed more recently, so it was perfect to hold back a long sword.

"I'm gonna choose this shiny baby."

"That's a shield." Pointed out Anna, sarcastic. "What are you going to do with your other hand?"

"Well, hold the shield." Smiled Honeymaren, joining her in the middle of the room. "You think I can't hit you with it?"

Anna smiled, and asked no further question.

"Jorge, you'll be arbitrating the fight." She ordered to one of the soldiers standing on the side, and he straitened at the given task.

He grabbed the whistle. "How long do you wish it to be?"

"The classic three minutes. That will be long enough for me to have more points than you." Smirked Anna, turning to her opponent.

Honeymaren mirrored her expression. "Oh, we're doing it by counting points? Spirits, you're the most competitive person I've ever met."

"Everything is a competition." Declared Anna with an evil smile. She did a swirl with her sword, taking her position.

Honeymaren weighed the Arendellian shield, also keeping in mind its dimensions and what she could do with it. She then nodded at the soldier, and he whistled. Everyone in the room went suddenly quiet.

They first turned around each other, like two predators analyzing the other's behavior, and Kristoff sat next to Elsa on the bench, both their gazes locked on them. Several seconds passed until one of them dared to make the first move, and it obviously was the most impatient of the two; Anna.

With a shout, she slammed her sword down, and Honeymaren protected herself with her shield easily, despite being surprised by her force and speed. She peeked down at Anna's foot to inspect it. Nevertheless, she didn't expect them to be perfectly placed.

"You got better at hiding your next attack." Complimented the Northuldra.

"Thank you. Now can you predict that?"

Honeymaren's eyes widened, seeing Anna jump aside and duck to aim at her thigh from her blind spot due to the shield. The brunette had good reflexes, and stepped away to prevent it. The fight looked like it was rigged, for only Anna had a lethal weapon. However, Honeymaren had learned from the youngest age to never judge things by their appearance.

Indeed, Anna's hands both were occupied to hold those two different objects. On the opposite, Honeymaren had her left and right hands under the shield, which allowed a more powerful grip. What looked like a minus to an unwise eye actually was a strength if thought correctly. The Northuldra grinned and pushed Anna backwards with it and all her weight, and Anna couldn't hold the force back enough, so she started to lose her balance. Honeymaren then mimed to slam her face with the shield, and the Queen had the reflex to use her sword to counter her, so the brunette slid her shield in-between Anna's and the blade of her weapon. The younger froze in her move; if she finished it and lowered the sword, she would knock her face off with the lever effect and surely faint.

Anna puffed, breathing out, impressed by the clever move, her teal blue eyes staring at the close hazelnut ones.

"One point." Smirked Honeymaren.

"Not bad." Smiled Anna.

They both panted, rubbing their sweat a bit, and resumed the fight.

The two women kept fighting each other like that, Anna's moves slightly more violent than Honeymaren's, but she remained calm. All admired that she was able to not let her anger alter her strategy, because it now had been more than a minute that Honeymaren was leading the fight. Panting and grinning, they actually were enjoying inspecting the other's moves and combat style, noting how their opponent had improved while they were away.

Anna wasn't going to lose that easily, and had a quick thought as Honeymaren turned on herself to avoid being touched by another slash of her sword; the brunette had taken advantage of Anna having only one hand to hold her shield to use hers more cleverly. So maybe that she could use an advantage herself... And knowing the castle like the back of her hand was a really good one. Also, the Northuldra had brilliantly led her walk back to a bush of nettles the last time they fought in the Enchanted Forest, so Anna still had a revenge to take on her.

They may be fighting in the throne room for the first time ever, Anna had spent enough time in this room when she was bored as a girl and when she was partying in balls as a Queen to know that one of the paintings on the walls had a frame made of iron, which reflected the sun and often created a light that got in her eyes if she was sitting on the throne. The redhead quickly calculated the angle by two darting looks behind Honeymaren's shoulder, and before the latter could find it suspicious, she led her to the spot with a clever move of her shield, in fact pushing her. She then jumped around her, and Honeymaren winced as the light reflected into her left eye, grunting as she got blinded.

With a powerful yell, Anna blocked her elbow and held both her arms, then swiped her feet, and Honeymaren yelped as she fell backwards.

They stumbled to the floor together, Anna's sword at Honeymaren's throat, indicating she won a point. They started to stand up, but the soldier with the whistle announced the end of the session.

"Woo! Right on." Exhaled Honeymaren. "Okay, it ends in a draw. Well done, fire head. Until next time."

Anna smiled openly, filled with joy like always when she trained.

They held to each other, laughing together. The room filled with claps, and they smiled as they drank water.

Elsa looked at the scene with affection, and wondered if Honeymaren called her sister 'fire head' because Anna's untied hair was like a mane of lava around her, or because her whole face was as red as a beet. 

=======

Honeymaren and Elsa entered the guess room in which they always slept when they came to visit the Arendelle family during celebrations or when it was too late for them to come back to the Forest after a long party in game nights.

As Honeymaren untied her braid, Elsa dropped heavily on the bed on her back.

"Gosh, what a day."

Her girlfriend chuckled, passing a hand in her short white spiky hair once she sat next to her.

"Are you tired?"

Elsa had a thinking pout. "No, actually, I'm not exhausted at all."

"Hum. The power boost, uh?"

"I still need to investigate on this thing." Sighed Elsa. "I'm in great shape physically, but mentally, it's been one of those days."

Honeymaren placed herself over her, smirking.

"Is it because you saw the storm being nationwide from the Giants' shoulder, or because I came here to scold you?"

Elsa smirked too as her lover's hair caressed her face.

"Maybe both?"

They chuckled then kissed, several times, like they preciously numbered each of their touches.

Honeymaren detached her face from her delicately after a while, still laying over her girlfriend, her elbows on the sheets on each side of her chest.

She hovered her finger along her light shoulder pieces and plackart. Her eyes were filled with care.

"Hey... Maybe take that off?" She asked, her voice soft.

Elsa stared at her, blushing a bit. She smirked. "Are you serious? Right now?"

The brunette got her drift, and laughed. "I didn't mean that, you idiot. I'll give you a massage."

The Snow Queen found the suggestion coming from nowhere, but realized in that instant how much she was craving for it.

"Yeah, you really need one. It's written all over your face." Smiled tenderly the Northuldra.

They now had been in couple enough years to have the best non-verbal communication, which was valuable for two quiet souls like them.

She sat on the bed, helping Elsa sit up as well with affectionate moves. The blonde sighed in content.

"I forgot how much I missed your touch." She murmured, her voice lulled.

"It's been five days, you drama queen. And I haven't even started massaging you yet."

"Hmmm." Answered Elsa, her head going in the nest of her neck.

"Don't fall asleep yet, snømus. Take those armor pieces off for me. You know only you can do it."

Elsa smiled and sat straight, waving her hands, and in a twirl of snow, only her white Fifth Spirit outfit remained on her skin.

The brunette poked at her belly, and Elsa jerked with a laugh.

"H-Honey!"

"Skin-like fabric check. Now go sit at the edge of the bed."

"Alright."

With smiles, they positioned like they always did when Elsa had a long day working around with the Spirits to protect the Forest, and came home in their hut with a sore back or an injured leg because she had, once again and on her own, saved merchants from something as insanely dangerous as bear attack.

The blonde sighed in profound relaxation when her girlfriend started massaging her back. The Northuldra however could feel how tense some of her muscles were, and insisted on them. She bent to whisper.

"Relax. It's all over. You've done an amazing job, okay? Release yourself from all that duty feeling."

Elsa hummed something that sounded negative, and Honeymaren kissed her through her short hair. She kept massaging her back as she inhaled her natural scent, and smiled in her platinum blonde hair as she recognized the familiar and soothing smell of licorice mint, which somehow never left the Snow Queen.

"I still feel bad for not finding a way to stop the storm..." Mumbled Elsa.

Honeymaren kissed her temple.

"Hey, Elsa... You're the most amazing person in the world, you know that?"

The blonde smiled. "By the numerous times you told me, I'm gonna end up believing it."

They laughed warmly, and Honeymaren moved her hands to her shoulders, touching strategic points in muscles that she knew were most used by someone being left-handed. Elsa moaned at the unique sensation only her girlfriend could provide. Honeymaren's gestures were precise and measured, both soft and strong, and it's exactly what she loved about their massage sessions.

Bathing in silence, they continued, only lit by the candles they had put on each nightstand, of which the wax was going down as time passed. Even the storm raging outside seemed inexistent because of how particular the bubble they had created was.

"A bit lower, please?" Asked Elsa when Honeymaren reached the lumber area.

The brunette chuckled, and bent to her face. "Keep it together. We're guests in a castle."

Elsa blushed intensely. 

=======

"Will you ever forgive me? For not telling you that I was risking my life investigating on this storm?"

Honeymaren blinked as she woke up at the familiar voice. It was Elsa's, but it seemed distant, like a far-away echo, that resonated in the insides of a cave layered with winter dew.

When the Northuldra's eyes focused and she realized that she was assisting to the magical materialization of Elsa's dream, she sat up in a jolting move and forgot to breath for a long time, gasping and admiring all the details. It was even more astonishing than what she had possibly pictured at the descriptions.

She hadn't been awakened by the falling snow, for she was used to sleep outside in the winter and her cheeks didn't feel pricked by the cold. Besides, Elsa's snowflakes never felt truly icy; just like her, they were perfectly soft, like she defied the laws of Nature herself and came up with warm snow. Honeymaren saw that the dream featured Elsa and herself talking to each other, and she smiled at how the blonde perceived her, seeing the way she was represented from her point of view. Now she knew why she had heard Elsa's voice; it was a discussion between them, which had ended by the time Honeymaren woke up, and they now were both smiling as they walked through a valley.

Lifting her hand, the Northuldra admired the way ice dust floated around to create landscapes coming right from her lover's imagination. It made Honeymaren's heart soar with love and admiration, and when she turned to her girlfriend, it melted at her sight.

Elsa was sleeping deeply, a small smile curling her lips. She was turned to her direction, both her hands on the pillow next to her, the fingers of one slightly twitching and folding like she was actually holding Honeymaren's hand in the projected dream. She looked absolutely beautiful, her unique hair and pale skin enhanced by the moon light. Honeymaren slithered closer, looking at her and listening to her breathing.

"Snømus... I already forgave you." She whispered tenderly, kissing Elsa's forehead.

The blonde moaned at the sensation, all the magic manifestation vanishing slowly around them. The particles of ice dust went away the same mysterious way they appeared, and Elsa slowly blinked as she returned to reality.

She had the same vision there, though; Honeymaren warmly smiling at her.

"Honey? What..."

Her voice was croaked from sleep, but the brunette didn't care at all. She kissed Elsa deeply, and after some confusion, the blonde gave it back.

She smirked once they finished kissing, staring at the two brown gems in the dark.

"Let me guess, I did that odd thing again?"

Her lover smiled. "Don't say it like that. It was the most amazing thing in the world. I love you, Elsa."

The Snow Queen's eyes glittered with happy tears.

"I love you too. So much."

[justmikerrss]

to all the boys that will *never* love me:

Dear christian, stephen, mikio, oscar, royce, pat, manny, derrick, mars, gill, rex, max, kevin, and nick -- whether y’all were a crush or someone i saw myself being in a relationship with get ready bc i’m going IN. I’m gonna use this time to rank these catastrophes from level 1 to level 5. level 1 being a crush yenno not so bad or scarring, and level 5 being sad machine playing while the world is burning to pieces like bish you left a MARK on my heart. if you know me i think you know who that person is hahaha

*alexa, please play truth hurts by lizzo*

christian - level 1. lol let’s take a trip down memory lane to my first crush ever!! my gosh i remember being so kilig over this boy in elementary school at st. leander lol it was so obvious. hahaha. your spikey hair and like goofy ass smile i don’t know i was such a sucker for that. the first filipino boy i ever crushed on waow <3 but then I left st. leander and never spoke to you again. you went to o’dowd, i went to sjnd and that was it really. you went to sfsu i went to usf. idk how we ever found each other on insta, but it is so cute to see posts of you and jasmine haha a USF don as well!! the last “convo” (i wouldn’t even call it that) was when i commented on your graduation post and you commented back thanking me and saying congrats too. so happy that your trillest brand is killing it and you know nothing about me anymore but what a great time it was to know you were my first crush ever lol. thanks for this <3

stephen - level 1. lol i left st. leander and moved to sjes and was like ok, who am i gonna crush on now?? hello stephen, my first white boi lol. i knew fosho that you thought i was weird in elementary school like there is a particular time where in church i sat next to you and during the our father you did not want to hold my hand LMAO and that’s when i knew. i stood from afar. touched your thumb for heads up 7 up HAHAHA gosh you were so out of my league and such an asshole tbh. you and nick, forever making fun of me for liking mikio lmfao hate y’all forever. you went to lmu and that was history. lmao you were so mean to me. but all well. you were like not a good person i think i just liked you because of your looks? lol hahaha

mikio - level 2.5. oh my god the epitome of my boy problems in high school lmfao fuck you. jk. but high school mika wouldn’t take that back. oh myyyyy what a FLIRT were you. i had so many fantasies thinking we’d be together, we’d be m&m HAHAH BARF wow, and then you dated mel and it was just like??? then you were my escort but then i was like nope and switched you with ryann LOL suuuuper crazy like I don’t really remember the details of everything but i knew in high school being so kawawa over not being noticed by you. but then you went to davis, slo, and now in sl?? idk where you are now but you had my heart back then (barf) but that was such a long time ago that honestly it doesn’t phase me anymore!! a feeling high school mika wouldn’t have thought was possible. so thank you. i liked you because you gave me little glimmers of hope of like maybe we could be together -- you were nice, flirtatious, close to your family... not afraid to make a fool of yourself for the one you’re interested in. which wasn’t me but again that’s okay! I wrote a letter to you didn’t i? idk what i was doing why was i so dramatic tbh. you did things that honestly weren’t in my control so i can’t hate you really. again realizing that you fit my type so it just, idk

oscar -- level 1. when mikio was being a butt i knew i could crush on you. LOL the hugs, the convos, being able to laugh at anything when you were in the room what a time SJND was when you were there. now you’re in boston with your boo and i’m still really regretful over not being able to see you when i was in boston last year but it’s okay. happy that you’re happy out there :-)

royce and pat -- level 1.5. ah. USF college times man. these two were literally a duo. RA’s of the 4th floor (share yall are silly for assigning that haha) and damn, what a trip it was to crush on you. royce you were a dj so thats how i knew my thing for dj’s came. you both did your jobs at ra’s, pat you were on eboard so i saw your hustle there which i super appreciated. and this is also how i knew filipinos were my type? lol. EVEN THO YALL WERE LIKE WITH BOOS lol i am cursed but yall had hustle, swagger, passion for what you love, and still made time for partying it up and studying. and now i see royce at parties sometimes n i would awk hug him (rip at the phoenix hotel party) and i havent seen pat since he graduated but hes so happy with becca!! so cute. and its cute (and weird) how kierst is happy with royce.

****DJ SPARKY/AGANA/YURI -- level 1. yall are dj’s who i will always cringe at bc of how naive i was at shooting my shot... BUT IM GLAD YOU ALL ARE THRIVING OK LETS DISMISS THOSE BOIZ NOW 

manny -- level 2.5. ahhhhh manny manny manny. my first trip towards using dating apps and matching with someone on TINDER!!! LOL!!!! ok anywho i met up with you for a few times and it was just like... a lot of question marks bc i didn’t really know where my standards were when it came to online dating. we went on dates? but the first time i paid, and the second time you “forgot your card” so i paid again?? and then you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the forehead?? red alert!! then you kept wanting like a second chance, to prove me wrong and i kept ignoring you bc wtf lmao... then i was foolish to let you into my life again and realized that was a mistake and blocked you again. and now you’re like a bonafide dj living your edm dreams. i saw you at audio TWICE omg rip. i liked you because lol ur filipino, a dj, buttered me up a whole ton which again problematic bc i didn’t see any of it within myself... but its okay mika is better now. better to not be talking to you. but thank you for being my stepping stone into dating apps.

derrick -- level 1. omg at times i forget about you! which i don’t know is a good or bad thing but i don’t think i ever told anyone about you lol. we met on okc, this filipino boi (lol a trend) andddd i went on like two dates with him? one, i met up with him at that one coffee spot near golden gate park. then we walked over to ggp and we just talked and thinking about it now it was very ideal for me to be myself fully, in public if that makes sense. you were so nice and genuine omg. we went to sweet maple the second time around and you paid for the food which was like wow!! diff than manny!! and i remember talking to you about kh and you loving it as much as me. but i got scared because you were like 26 or somn? i was still 20 i think and i was like this dude might be asking a lot out of me...so i told him the “this is on me i don’t feel ready and not sure how i feel” spiel. and that was history. i honestly don’t know what he is doing now but he was really nice. i felt no malicious intentions from me, i just wasn’t ready to move forward w him. the first nice guy i ever let down bruh. ugh.i hope you’re doing well now though.  

mars -- LEVEL 5. fuck me i hate this chapter SO MUCH lmao. so many drunk cries and just cries in general post this whole... like chapter. but lets start off with why i liked you: handsome as hell, close to your family, athletic, hustled, SO MF KIND EVEN WHEN I WAS BEING CRAZY, a great homie and bf quality, gave me the false hope of like “yeah ill see if i can come through” “ill let you know when i listen to this” the forever ILL LET YOU KNOWS but still views my stories and still doesn’t let me know mentality.... you never initiated any of our convos. i was STRAIGHT pursuing you even though i didn’t believe that you’d change your mind about just seeing me as a friend. you made that clear to me from the start but i didn’t take that as an answer LOL which is why i was so crazy to keep hanging out with you... even tho you were super busy and i felt like a burden you STILL made time with me, whether that was peruvian food, or thursday nightlife followed by dancing at a bar together (which i ruined when you took me home and asked you about your love language lmao), souvla, and then our final time of seeing each other: san tung and tpumps. what a fucking few months that was...only to come out of it with another girlfriend with the same name as me. LIKE WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS. i still can’t believe it till this day. my gosh you were so nice to me mars. such a great homie. and i wasnt empathetic or smart enough to make diff decisions to retain what we had...but im happy that you’re happy with mika. other mika. yeah. man i never felt so in the dark when going through this time, this was so rough. i wasn’t eating, i’d cry in bed for days, it was so bad. i’d like to say that I’m healed from that though. lol to burning the shirt which honestly i should have kept bc it was a cute shirt.. but yeah. thank you.

gill -- level 1. lol you were dumb to think i was attractive enough to dance with at the soulection event. we exchange numbers and i think because i told you i was 21, you backed off. lol guess i was a fetus then. still am. lmao. we text for a bit but then i find out you tried to get into arcilla’s pants?? lMAO. oh and then i see you at that pool party, saw you talking to other girls and i broke DOWN bc i was crossed as hell LOL sorry ate kayla that you had to take me home that day LOL ugh i hate myself for that night. and then i see you right in front of me at OSL. in 2019?? for childish?? that was such weird weird fate. thank god you didn’t recognize me (i had long black hair there, you remembered me with short brown hair plus it was dark). i just thought it was crazy. uhm you had the fuckboy vibe and look on point.. knew everything about soulection. family oriented. but it just fizzled bc i blocked you and then just stopped talking to you lol.

*****chris l/frankie -- level 1. again i cringe at how dramatic i pursued yall sorta as crushes but for sure bc yall were soulcycle and about fitness YES bodies 10/10 and you understood soul. but omg chris pls get ur life together (which is what it seems like ur doing??) and frankie well you’ve been having your life together being married and all so0o0o0 im trash for crushing lmao BUT IM GLAD THATS ALL IN THE PAST AND THAT WE’VE FORGOTTEN i think lmao

rex -- level 0.5. lmfao you were dumb you’re gonna keep looking at me and emily only for me to make the move in letting you know i was interested, follow you on ig, and then you block me?? weirdo. bye.

MY HINGE BOYS </3 

Max -- level 3. oh maximus lmao. we talked for a whole month and what a pleasure it was to text you every day, receive and send memes, curate playlists, be w/ each other at different events... only for it to end after we netflix party/facetime where i don’t feel the kilig i’d feel when texting you. so i told you i wanted to be friends. and then i try to still reach out and be friends, but i got delayed responses to no responses. and now you just, look at my stories? lmao i know it don’t mean shit to look and you recently liked my post, but i feel like i invested a lot into our quarantine reality. you had GREAT music taste (even tho ur playlist was a lil questionable), for all i know you were just telling me things to like get you on my good side, motivated, privileged......... yeah. i hope you find your 5′0 qt rave queen that can go to events with u

KEVIN -- level 1. lmfao honestly you SUCK hahaha even with the benefit of the doubt, it does not take 10 hours to reply...even if you are busy at work NICK AND MAX WERE ABLE TO!!! you were spotty to begin with but then we netflix party and then you dont talk to me anymore after i ask if we could exchange music playlists? i didnt even ask u to be my boyfriend its a fucking playlist.... we talked about music so much. ugh BOYS ARE SO DUMB LIKE SERIOUSLY. hope amazon treats ya right

NICK -- level 4. ugh. ughguhgughgh. i liked you because your profile/resume was all my criteria: music taste A1 bc of bryson, i hated mint chip, i loved spongebob (even tho you NEVER sent me spongebob memes fuck u), you were hapa (he he but fuck u) (i laugh while typing this i am so dum), uhm. yeah. we talked everyday consistently for two weeks. you were such a joy to text bc you were funny (i was funny too), even tho it was hard to keep the convo going w you at times in the beginning because you never inquired about me at times. max did. its like you were better than mars, but not like A+ in replying like max was. you never really flirted with me? lmao i mean even those attempts of me tryna bait you, i always got... friend vibes. benefit of the doubt maybe you just didn’t know how to flirt but you had posts of your past relationship up on your feed so you cant tell me that that exp did not have you pursue a girl and flirt her up. to me, there was no initiative from you. i was chasing you for sure. this dating life is a two way street -- life doesn’t work where one pursues you only otherwise like no. bet if i went the fuckboi approach, gave you lame responds would you have kept the convo going? prolly not bc ur a cancer and want to feel needed. the only thing ill commend you on is when you’d apologize for delays in text messages but then you kinda stopped that. like understand i should also feel like i should be pursued and never did i feel that i felt like you just responded just to respond... like you’re a cancer its in your nature to dive deep and ask deep questions but you never did, you were the type to play video games with your pals LMAO and like/????/? me understanding gamer life i was like YES this boy gets me but like CMON. lol so many things. ok maybe i am reading too into this but this is the freshest heartache :/ you never like told me i was cute or anything like... max made remarks about my looks and you never did. i mean cool maybe you were just vibing off my energy but i just now question if you were actually interested in me? bc i was trying so hard to make you like me. every meme, was a move. you didnt play your cards right!! its like i kept hitting you with plus fours, and then all you’d put down is the same color number card. where was the fun in that? it was super effortless but anxiety filling for me at the same time bc i was convinced that you were the one. :’/ super good news to hear that you wanted to meet virtually literally NO EXPECTATIONS but then monday rolls around, you dont text me the whole day, i check in at 530, you tell me you go to costco instead and want to reschedule bc you thought i was ghosting you????? wtf did u just like expect me to just call u right at 7 and expect u to be ready?? max texted me after work and was like “we still on right?” so i was high key expecting that from you bc 1. show interest and 2. take initiative but you DIDN’T!! so i was honest in telling you how i felt but kept it light and asked to reschedule. you take forever to reply, but when you do you tell me it was silly OF ME to think you were supposed to confirm it which i get i initiated it i shoulda texted you earlier (but what if i had the worst day ever and couldn’t text you??? would you have just let it be and not text me anymore bc you assumed i ghosted you???) you also said that you thought maybe it was too quick to assume that i ghosted you which is YES tru. however i was not going to apologize for not texting you earlier and waiting for you to reply bc boy, that was on you to make a move to double check. if i was in your shoes i woulda texted. that would indicate to me that oh wow this boy is making sure we are meeting and confirming! even drop a hey hows your day you excited for tonight? i made it obvious to hype you up on your photos and everything, you just were like wow your photos are so good! wow i hope you posted that picture! like idk. i kept it light bc i still really wanted to meet you, and just wanted to attribute this small ass thing as a misunderstanding between the two of us but after long hours of making me wait, you decide you don’t want to reschedule because you were unsure of how you were feeling and that you couldn't put your all in and said sorry. no sentiment towards wanting to be friends just a straight goodbye which basically meant, in harsher terms im prolly not as down as you are for me and maybe i am nervous to meet u (idk ill never know if you were) anddd im not interested anymore bc you’re crazy and ME being the womyn that i am ended up being the mature one and said the goodbye hope you have a good life without me text and then our lovestory ended lololol what a great two weeks am i right? honestly maybe you still need to do some growing buddy but relationships are not easy going they are a two way street but also ill never know maybe you were just texting me just to text me and you still wanted to be the nice guy bc you were scared of how invested things would be post call so you call it off and it was just in the moment for you to be down but then have it change on another day.... i woke up in a better headpsace today about how this turned out but like god fucking dammit i had high hopes for you you infj CANCER. *squidward voice* so thanks. thanks for NOTHING (this is when you start your spongebob dialogue of all how to get everyone on board for practicing for the bubble bowl and sing sweet victory)

so, the end LOL basically. to all the boys who will never love me, ultimately thank you for being a part of my life. thank you srsly. thank you for making me exp the pain, the kilig, the uh everything. growing pains these are, but at the end of the day, i hope you have a good life. whether or not we cross paths again this gives me clarity as to what i’m looking for and what i deserve. this goalgetting, resilient, funny, hardworking, awkward but in the best way pinay is a force to be reckoned with!!! she has the best support system out there!!! she has so much to live for because she is determined to not let down anyone counting on her!!!! so fuck u for missing out on that!!!

k. my ideal man list is coming soon. until then... see ya later.

xoxo,

Mika (allison to some)