#wow i’m getting so many ‘advice’ asks today

[xoxoxkisses]

“I’m not yours.”

Warnings: small angst, slight sanemi x reader, not proofread (sorry im too lazy)

————————————————————————

You have liked Tokito for a few months now. He had saved you in a previous battle and ever since you’ve fallen for him more and more. You were finally able to apply to be someone Tsuguko, so obviously you applied to become Tokito’s.

You had sent him a letter applying to become his Tsuguko and now you were waiting for his response. As you were washing up from a training session, Tokito’s crow brought a letter to you. As you reached for it you told her thank you and opened the letter.

“I apologize for taking a while to write back, I have been thinking about your application for a while now. I accept you as my Tsuguko. Meet me at my estate at dawn and bring all of your belongings as you will stay with me from now on. -Tokito”

You jumped with joy. You didn’t hesitate to go pack for the next day.

————————————————————————

As you walked to the Mist Hashira’s estate, your heart was beating fast. You were nervous you would disappoint him. As you entered the courtyard of the estate you could see Tokito waiting at the stairs for you. As you walked further he saw you and offered to help you with your bags.

Once you got your stuff settled, Tokito told you it was time for your first training session. As the two of you walked to the training area, he spoke up. “I’ve heard many good things about you which is why it took me a while to answer your letter. You are my first Tsuguko after all.” You were shocked when he said the last sentence. How could you be his first Tsuguko?

The two of you began to train. He had requested you to strike at the tree in front of you. He complimented you on your skills, but also told you a lot of things you need to work on. You were very appreciative for his help and advice. You both trained hard until the end of the day.

The two of you had went inside now. Your stomach growled, you were hungry. You haven’t ate since lunch and it was now dusk. “Master Tokito, would you like me to make dinner?” He looked at you and tilted his head, “I suppose that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Go ahead, i don’t care what you cook.” You smiled at him and started cooking. You had made some ramen as you were too tired to make anything big.

As you sat down to eat, Tokito ate with you. You two didn’t really talk much, just a few thanks and compliments on the food. Once you both were done, you cleaned the table and Tokito washed the dishes. When you were done, you told him goodnight and started towards your room. “Y/N.” You turned around confused. “Yes Master Tokito?” You looked at him with a confused look on your face. “I just wanted to say you did good today.” You smiled at him and said thank you. You turned and carried on to your room. ————————————————————————

It has been a few weeks since you have been training under Tokito, and it seems as your relationship with each other has grown. The two of you talked more and went everywhere together.

Tokito was sent on a mission a few days ago. You trained hard and took care of things around the estate. As you were making lunch, you heard the door opened and there Tokito stood. “Welcome back!” You said smiling. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.” You were nervous with the tone of his voice. He sounded serious. “Okay Master Tokito.” You stopped what you were doing and went to him. The two of you sat down and stared at each other.

“When I was gone on my mission I met a girl. And I need your help.” His face lit up with red. The blood drained from your face, you felt your chest get tight and you felt yourself shaking. “..Oh wow..! I’m happy for you, what can I do to help..?” You were trying to hold yourself up, you couldn’t break down in front of him. “Well I’d like advice to make a move on her.” He was looking at the ground now smiling. He’s never smiled like that at you.

“Well maybe you can ask her on a date and take her to one of your favorite spots.” Tears were threatening to come now. “That’s a good idea. Thanks Y/N, you’re the best Tsuguko I could ask for.” He smiled at you, and your heart fluttered. You excused yourself and went to your room.

Tokito noticed you haven’t been your outgoing self lately. You always brushed it off as you were tired. He started talking about her more and more. He talked about her at every chance he could, at dinner, lunch, training. You couldn’t take it anymore. As he was talking about her at dinner, you interrupted him and excused yourself. You washed your dishes and went to your room.

In your room you wrote a letter to your best friend, Mitsuri. The two of you became friends after seeing each other a lot once you became Tokito’s Tsuguko. After you sent the letter you started crying. You suppose Tokito heard you as his knocked on the door asking if you were okay. With muffled sniffles, you told him you were and he walked away.

He was confused on why you left. He noticed you had been acting different but he didn’t know why. Once he finished his food and washed his dishes, he went to his room. But on his way he heard sniffles coming from your room. When you said you were fine he knew you weren’t but didn’t want to bother you.

Mitsuri answered you back the next day. She asked for you to come hang out with her. You accepted and told Tokito about it and he let you go. As the two of you walked around, you saw Tokito and the girl he liked. The way they looked at each other was making you upset. You wanted him to look at you that way, not her. Mitsuri noticed and gasped, she looked at you to turn you away, but you were already crying. Tokito looked over and saw the two of you, and you crying. You ran off before he could come over.

He saw you run and he was concerned. He excused himself from the girl and went to Mitsuri. “What is wrong with Y/N?” He looked worried. “Well Tokito..Y/N likes you, and they have for a while.” His eyes went wide. “What?” He couldn’t believe it at all.

He knew where you were, without thinking he and the girl he was with went there. Once they arrived, he saw you sitting in the field of daisies crying. “Y/N?” You heard him call. You turned around and saw her. “Master Tokito, what is she doing here.” There was a hint of anger in your voice. Why would he bring her to your spot? “It would have been rude if I didn’t Y/N.” He tried to justify himself. “No, it’s rude you did bring her. This place is my secret, you know that.” You turned away from him. Both of them walked up to you he sat down next to you as the girl sat on the other side. “I’m sorry Y/N.” He said looking at you. You didn’t say anything. That’s when she spoke up. “Did you not hear him? He said he’s sorry. I’m sorry he likes me and not you, im just better.” Something inside you snapped. You slapped her and walked off, Tokito trying to stop you.

You arrived at his estate and packed your belongings. You were going back to your estate. You didn’t regret anything you did. In your eyes she deserved it. ————————————————————————

It had been a few days since you spoke to Tokito. You had been sent on a mission. As you arrived, you were instantly surrounded by demons. You tried to fight back but there was too many and just one of you. You held them off as long as you could but they were all attacking you. You couldn’t take it anymore. That’s when the Wind Hashira showed up. He couldn’t even belittle you as he could tell you tried your best. Once he finished the rest of them, he picked you up and ran you back to the Butterfly Mansion.

Shinobu had told him your injuries were severe and you may not make it. Sanemi stayed with you, hoping you’d wake up. It had been a month and there was still no signs of you waking up. Until one day you hand twitched. Sanemi saw and ran to get Shinobu. You woke up not too long after and she did a check up on you.

You stayed there for a few weeks. Sanemi was always there for you. When you were able to leave, you went to your estate. Sanemi went with you to make sure you made it safely. At your estate, you saw Tokito. When he saw you his face lit up and he ran to you. “Y/N, you’re alive! I thought I lost you!” He hugged you. You tried pushing him away but you were too weak. Sanemi noticed this and pushed him away for you. “You aren’t needed here Tokito. Go home.” Tokito looked at you guys. “But shes mine.” He said with a glare. “I’m not yours. I never was.” You looked at him with tears in your eyes. He looked at you and started crying. After that he left.

Sanemi stayed with you for a few days. Although you were better and got sent home, you were coming down with a fever. He tried helping you but you continued to get worse. Shinobu would come to you to try to treat you, but nothing worked.

A few days later Sanemi was at your side holding your hand. You looked at him. “Sanemi, thank you for being there for me when I needed it. But I think it’s time.” You had tears in your eyes. “Y/N, you’re going to be fine, I’ll call Shinobu.” He tried to get up to call her. “No Sanemi. She wont make it in time. Please just stay here and hold me.” And so he did. He picked you up and held you. That’s when you took your last breath.

Sanemi always blamed Tokito for your death. If it wasn’t for him you would’ve been ready to fight those demons. Sanemi would always see you in his dreams, he missed you dearly. And so did you. ————————————————————————

a/n: I know I said I only write for Muichiro, but I couldn’t help but add a small Sanemi x reader 😖

[moongirlcleo]

ft members x reader comfort

summary: how the fairy tail members (as many as u can put or are willing to put so long as the main characters and dragon slayers are included.. + sting cause why not) would react to you being upset over a friend who you care a lot about finding a new friend group and brushing you aside. like what would they say or do to comfort you? CW: none this is just fluff and comfort AN: this was adorable anon

Natsu: I can see Natsu being confused at first over why you were upset over your friend meeting other poeple. He’d brush it off as well saying something like “Well, why not be friends with them too?” It wouldn’t be until after Lucy smacks some sense into him that he realizes the truth about why you’re upset. He and Happy would go try and find something they know you really like so they could bring a smile on your face. If books are your thing, he’d ask Levy to find the rarest book she could in order to gift it to you.

Gray: Gray is less oblivious than Natsu and I can totally see him trying to figure out a way to cheer you up, but feeling incredibly awkward about it. He’d eventually murmur “I’m sorry to hear about your friend. You can do better than them, though. You have us” and take you for some ice cream.

Lucy: Out of team Natsu, she is the most caring. She’d be the one to give you a big hug and tell you that your family in the guild will always be there for you. Lucy also wouldn’t let you mope around alone, either. She’d take you to her apartment and make dinner for you. Her, Natsu, Happy and you would also play card games to get your mind off of everything.

Erza: Erza would try to tell you that everything is okay, but she’d probably accidentally say it way too bluntly, inadvertantly upsetting you. “Why are you so upset over someone who clearly doesn’t care about you?” And then have to find a way to make it up to you, most likely in the form of sweets. She isn’t heartless, and apologizes for coming off as brash.

Wendy: She would 100% cry with you. While she may not have much advice on this situation, Wendy would be the one there for you to hug and cry with.

Laxus: Laxus is another one who is pretty blunt when it comes to giving advice. He’d tell you the same thing Erza did, but wouldn’t apologize. He’d shrug and say “you can either be upset that they’re bailin’ on you, or you could spend time here with people who actually care for ya.”

Gajeel: Gajeel would sing you a song and play guitar. He thinks he is doing a great job of cheering you up, but in reality your poor ears hurt and you smile because the gesture is sweet. He’d also ask if you wanted to go for a walk to get some air.

Sting: Sting would pepper you in compliments to cheer you up. Did you make food today? “Wow angel, you’re the best cook ever!” “Hey, thanks for picking that item up. You’re the best.” Anything you could do, he’d find a way to compliment you for it. When you finally confront him over the constant compliments, he’d shrug and tell you “you looked real sad, so I figured I’d tell ya that you’re appreciated with everything you do.”

- ©2024 moongirlcleo do not repost, copy, translate, or modify

[unactive-shroom]

Hello im really sorry i only saw your post today🙁 you can ignore this since its already nov 4th but can i request sal fisher with prompt 1 and 3? (Maybe 6 but thats optional) thank you!

A.n: Im sorry I missed out on this request last event, so I thought I’d do something small for you now to get in the Valentine’s mood <3 Hope you enjoy! Feel free to request something from the current event too, I know that this is super short!

⇒ 100% had been preparing for Valentine’s since CHRISTMAS

⇒ He’s never experienced it before, and he wants to make sure he does everything right

⇒ He's stressing out, asking Larry and Todd about what he should do, reading romance novels, even magazines with advice

⇒ Like he is genuinely so nervous, doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating for

⇒ He also learns your favourite song and plays it for you, borrowing his Dad's old acoustic guitar if it's a softer song

⇒ He genuinely has the sweetest singing voice too like wtf

⇒ He gets you a very traditional gift - A bouquet of your favourite flowers and a hand written card with the sweetest message ever in it - and after school you probably go over to his place

Placing the heart-shaped cookies that you had baked for Sal on the kitchen counter, you bounced over to the couch where Sal was busy trying to connect VCR player to the tv. “Wow, Sal, you’re really going all out for today, huh?” you say as you relax on the couch, opening one of the many bags of chips that Sal had prepared on the coffee table. “I’m not over doing it, am I? I just want today to be perfect for you, I don’t know if-” - you shush him before he can finish his thought. “It’s perfect, Sal. I couldn’t ask for more.”

Check out the Valentine's event Here

[olderthannetfic]

I do think the disclaimers from authors about NOT ENDORSING!!!! certain behaviors in fics is pretty funny, but I’ll admit I do it too. Oddly I only put warnings for abuse of the self, not the abuse of others. I write a fair bit of fic that “romanticizes” (or seems like it does) suicide/self harm/eating disorders to the point where it can almost be a tutorial of how to do it if I’m graphic enough. So in those I normally just add dead dove tags and put a disclaimer about how the trigger warning is no joke and you shouldn’t do the things that the characters do in the fic. It’s not like a Lifetime Movie end credits where the authors note is filled with hotlines and stuff, just a quick little note that, hey, yeah, if you’re considering this, don’t do it.

Oddly, I don’t think that behavior comes from fandom itself but rather from a completely different corner of the internet — when I struggled with the same stuff that I write about, it was pretty common for everyone’s bio to say that they “don’t promote” or they’re “not pro” and I guess old habits die hard. (Whether or not certain types of depression/SH/ana blogs etc really DONT promote or those words are just a please-don’t-ban-me card is a completely different discussion.)

It’s pretty ironic actually because when I’m on the other side of things (as the reader), reading about it is really cathartic in fic, but triggering (not in a fun way) in “real” books. Like there’s several books I had to DNF or shelf because it got to be too much, but oddly enough fic actually helps me a lot.

WOW that was all way heavier than I intended to get when I first started typing this ask! But yeah, that’s my own personal relationship to “I do not endorse” and I didn’t realize how odd it actually is until I started reading some of these other asks! I don’t think any type of “this is bad, actually” authors note is ever necessary honestly, but I also don’t think they’re that big of a deal — if a note from the writer about how they’re ~totally against the “bad” thing they’re writing about~ really takes you out of the fic that much, I don’t understand that either…it’d be one thing if they rambled on and on but even then I don’t think it’s that big of a deal 🤣 Annoying maybe but no one is required to read the AN.

My general threshold is “would a movie/podcast/real™️ book have a similar Viewer Discretion Adviced notice? If so, your A/N is likely fine and not virtual signal-ly or OTT at all.”

--

Heh. I think you're assuming a very different type of PSA from what other people are.

From what I've read, self-harm, suicide, and disordered eating are some of the topics that are a bit Monkey See, Monkey Do. Even support group discussions may increase the desire to cut, for example. It's still not 1:1, and we should be able to make art about serious topics, but a PSA doesn't feel totally absurd here. There are plenty of scientific studies showing measurable increases in people hurting themselves IRL after consuming certain material. Even if you did include a hotline, most people's objection is like "That number isn't valid for where I live", not "No one should ever do this".

I think if you polled people, you'd find that many of the PSA-haters are actually totally fine with "Hey, this fic contains serious depictions of mental illness. Make sure you're up for that today." and similar warnings.

But what people are actually talking about in 99% of "PSAs suck" discussions is rape fantasies.

Some clown writes a fic that is blatant fap material for people who like bodice ripper ravishment, and then they plaster it with "Rape Fantasies Bad" commentary that shows that they're judging themselves and their readers in a puritanical way that's a mega-buzzkill, completely out of keeping with the tone of the fic, and completely out of keeping with the actual scientific evidence.

Rape fantasies are commonplace and not a big deal, and to the extent that any depictions are demonstrably harmful, it's things like mainstream Hollywood movies reinforcing very standard cultural narratives, not somebody's sex pollen fic that's probably full of "It's so wrong, so why is it so hot???" anyway.

[simmerdowndee]

THE FOXBURY FILES EPISODE FIVE: A DIFFERENT PATH

Micah and I have been spending a lot of time together since our date. We technically still haven’t set an official label for ourselves. I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda getting antsy. I kinda need to know if we’re just gonna hook up forever or if i’m actually his girlfriend. It's been a few months… I have a feeling part of the reason he hasn’t asked me is because I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship when we first met…. 

I’m currently passing all my classes, but I am not enjoying this major at all. I really don’t know what to do. On one hand, I don’t want to disappoint my dad, but I also don’t want to suffer through this for another 3 years. 

Today we have a guest speaker on campus. He’s also a Foxury alum and I thought it would be nice to get his advice after the presentation. 

Tori: Wow, he’s so beautiful.  Blake: He is.  Tori: Ugh, he has a wedding ring.  Blake: Yes, his wife is here with him.  Tori: She’s so lucky. He’s such an inspiration.  Blake: Are you a fangirl or something? Tori: He’s so smart and he speaks very well. I’m going to buy his book when it hits the shelves. Blake: Oh here he comes.  Tori: I’m going to head to the commons. Tell me how it goes and if he smells good.  Blake: *Laughs* Blake: Mr. Grove. Theo: Hi. Nice to meet you.  Blake: My name is Blake. I wanted to ask you for some advice if that’s okay? Theo: Sure, let's walk and talk. My wife is hungry so I'm on my way out soon.  Blake: I’ll be quick.  Blake: How did you know you wanted to work in tech? What really sold it for you?

Theo: I’ve always loved technology and computers. My dad used to get me old computers to see if I could get them up and running again. 

Theo: It sounds like you’re questioning your degree? Blake: I don’t think economics is for me. I don’t enjoy learning any of the course material. I hate studying for it. It just sucks…

Theo: You’re a freshman, right? You still have time to change your major. Dakota: That’s the other problem… my dad.  Theo: Ah. I see.  Theo: Dad wants this for you because he doesn’t believe in your preferred major? Blake: Wow, you are pretty good.  Theo: *Laughs* Theo: I’ve seen this many times while speaking at other universities. 

Theo: You should study your career of choice. Your dad isn't going to have to make a career in your field, you are. 

Blake: How do I tell him and then get him to agree? He thinks communication is a waste.

Theo: Prove to him it's not. 

Wow, he’s pretty good with words. No wonder Tori is a fan girl. 

Blake: Thank you, Mr. Grove. 

Theo: Anytime.  Theo: It was nice chatting with you. I can see from here my wife is becoming hangry. Blake: Enjoy your lunch!

I think I'm going to take his advice and finally tell my dad I am switching my major. I want to complete the degree of my choice and choose my own career path… I just hope he doesn’t get too mad….

[ohii-san]

UNKNOWN HOLY NIGHT AND NIGHTHEAD - BLACK CAROL 2

( A few days later )

Tomoya: Yaaawnnn, uu…

Mitsuru: Hmm~... I want that!

Aira: Sounds like Tenma-senpai, alright. I’d like this one…

Tomoya: Mm? What’re they doing?

Good morning. Mitsuru and Shiratori’s faces are pressed/huddled up together, what are you two up to?

Mitsuru: Ah. Tomo-chan, good morning~. I’m looking at flyers with Ai-chan right now!

Tomoya: Flyers for what?

Aira: Good morning. For a toy store– There was an ad in my mailbox this morning. There’s lots of toys featured in the Christmas special!

I’m not at the age where I’ll be getting toys anymore, but a flyer with lots of toys in it is always exciting no matter how old you are… Tenma-senpai and I both got excited over it.

Tomoya: Ahaha. I understand, I understand. It’s always fun to look.

Mitsuru: “This is something I wanted when I was a kid, and these are the kind of things I’d like now”... That’s what Ai-chan and I were talking about.

Tomoya: Hmm~. Lemme take a look. Ah. As I figured, game consoles have always been popular. I also asked Santa for one every year.

Ahh. This is something I wanted as a kid but I never got to get it. And I got this one from Santa once!~

Aira: Many of Mashiro-senpai’s picks are classics. I feel like you’re very consistent and easy to understand.

Tomoya: Is that so? I guess I’m really not an adventurous kind of person.

Mitsuru: Hey Tomo-chan. Doesn’t this look like a toy from a long time ago?

Tomoya: Nn? Now that you mention it, I think I did used to play with that way back when.

Wow, but now there’s shining lights, and it makes noise. The latest ones are so flashy, huh~?

Aira: Nn~♪ Looking at gift flyers like that makes me antsy! It’s almost Christmas ♪

Mitsuru: Juuust~ a fewww~ more niiights~ until Christmas!

Tomoya: Ahaha. That’s true~. After all, as December approaches, I also start to feel kinda restless…

–Oops! I’ve gotta leave the dorm soon.

Aira: You're off to work?

Tomoya: Mhm. I have a photoshoot this morning and a meeting in the afternoon. I have to go soon.

Mitsuru: That’s a shame, I wanted to talk more~!

Well then, go ahead, Tomo-chan!

Aira: See you!

Tomoya: Take care!

( That afternoon )

Tomoya: (I’m glad~...! The shoot went better than I had expected it to! I knew it was the right call to ask for Narukami-senpai’s advice beforehand.)

(My work for the morning went well, but… After I eat I’ll have a meeting about the contents of the “Shuffle Project” in the afternoon~...)

(I’m worried, what kind of project will it be…?)

Sigh~... mogumogu…

(I wonder if I’m gonna be able to get along well with the other members…)

Hinata: Yahoo~! Tomo-kun, thank you for your hard work!

Tomoya: Nn? … Ah, It’s Hinata. Thanks for your hard work.

Hinata: Are you having lunch? So am I. Can I join you?

Tomoya: Mhm, go ahead. I’ve just started eating too.

Hinata: Thank you ♪ What to order~...?

Alright, I’m in the mood for some pork cutlet curry today!

Tomoya: That was quick~. You always make quick decisions– it’s pretty refreshing to watch.

Hinata: Fufufu~. I wanna take good care of my intuition, you know! ☆

Ah. That reminds me, I heard something~! Tomo-kun. That “Shuffle Project” of yours. So they reached out to the wrong members mistakenly?

Tomoya: That’s right! I really thought I was in the same unit as Hajime and the others! The shock after so much joy was just too much…!

Hinata: Ahaha. I feel sorry for you, Tomo-kun, but it was a pretty amusing situation to hear about.

Tomoya: You… Just because it’s not your problem to deal with~...

Tomoya: All the members are my seniors, so I have to be mindful.

I’m somewhat used to Akehoshi-senpai and Fushimi-senpai, but I feel like the others are all pretty quirky…

Hinata: Uh-oh. My vice prez is on pretty high guard too, huh~?

But I think I understand. ♪

Tomoya: Even ES said they’d give us support, but… considering the circumstances, no matter how you think about it, it’s totally just meant to give us some peace of mind!

Hinata: Mhm, still, I do really feel sorry for you. But, y’know, doesn’t that also depend on the project? Have you even decided what kind of project it’s gonna be? 

Tomoya: No. We just met face to face the other day. I heard we’ll have a meeting about the project now.

Hinata: Hmm. Is that so. Then, from here on out, the outcome of Tomo-kun’s fate shall be decided…

Tomoya: You find my misfortune amusing!?

Hinata: Ahahaha ☆ I’m just looking forward to seeing what kind of “Shuffle Project” Tomo-kun’s unit will come up with!

Hinata: It’s okay! Give it your best shot, Tomo-kun! If it all falls apart, I’ll pick up the pieces for ya! ♪

[pintsizemama]

Chestnuts

Day 4

Summary: Marcus & Peanut roast chestnuts with Grandma.

Pairings: Marcus Pike x You, Marcus Pike x Female Reader (Peanut)

Fandom: The Mentalist

Rating: Mature

Warnings: language, discussions of sex and blow jobs

Word Count: 1,027

Marcus & Peanut Masterlist

Day 3 Day 5 Christmas Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

“Is this too many?” You asked your grandmother, gesturing to the vast amount of chestnuts on the kitchen counter.

“Might not be enough,” Grandma replied. ‘This has always been a family favorite—for both families.” She looked at Marcus who nodded in agreement. A couple hours ago you and Marcus had ”come out” to your families about your new relationship. Needing a break from all the questions and advice, you both had volunteered to help Grandma make her famous roasted chestnuts. She added butter and honey to them which made it an irresistible holiday snack. The three of you sat together at the kitchen island and worked in quiet peace. It was a nice change from all the chatter you had to deal with today.

“I think the first two batches are ready to go in,” Grandma told Marcus. He dutifully stood up and carried two trays to the oven. You couldn’t help but stare at him in awe. He was so beautiful and finally all yours.

“You’re drooling, dear,” Grandma said with a chuckle. You rolled tour eyes at her playfully. Marcus placed a kiss on the top of your head just before retaking his seat next to you.

“How’d you know about us, Grandma?” You asked. “The other day when we were baking cookies…you already knew we were together. How?’”

“It was very clear,” Grandma answered. “The two of you have always been obvious in your ‘secret’ feelings for each other, but there was always a…tension there. Something missing. Like two magnets being forced apart even though all they wanted, their entire purpose in life was to be together. The other day, that tension wasn’t there anymore. So, I knew you had finally admitted your love for each other.”

“Wow,” you whispered.

“I didn’t realize how transparent we were,” Marcus said quietly.

“Apparently not to each other,” you laughed.

“True,” Marcus agreed. “I’m just glad we finally got on the same page.”

“Me too,” you whispered.

“Me too,” Grandma chimed in. “Now make me the happiest old lady in Seattle and give me some great-grand babies!”

“Gonna need some time before that, Grandma,” you chided playfully.

“Yeah, but we can definitely practice until we’re ready…a lot,” Marcus added.

“Marcus Pike!” You scolded. He just smiled and kissed you softly.

“Ugh! Gross!” John shouted as he walked into the kitchen. “Can you please refrain from mauling my baby sister when I’m in the house?” Marcus pulled away and laughed.

“John, you are such a fucking cock block!” You groaned at him.

“Just payback for that time I snuck Janie Stevens over the night Mom and Dad were out of town,” John said with an evil grin.

“That was years ago!” You scoffed. “You were in high school You can’t still be pissed about that!”

“Yes I can!” John argued. “She refused to go out with me again after that! I only ever got to second base with her, and the rumor was she gave the best head in school.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I stopped your oversexed teenage self from getting into yet another girl’s pants in high school,” you said sarcastically. “It’s not like she was the only girl willing to sleep with you. You were—and still are—a massive manwhore.”

“If I remember correctly,” Marcus chimed in, “you did sleep with Janie our first summer home from college. Even got her to give you one of her famously great blow jobs.”

“Ha!” You shouted. “Look at that. No need to be pissed at me since you did get—wait, Marcus.” You turned to your boyfriend. “How do you know her blow jobs are great? Have you slept with Janie?” Marcus’s eyes widened. John laughed at his friend’s discomfort.

“No, Peanut, I never slept with Janie,” Marcus said. You knew he was feeling the truth, but it was slightly off.

“What about a blow job?” You pressed.

“Huh?” Marcus dodged the question.

“Ok, let me rephrase that,” you said. “Has Janie Stevens’ nasty lips been anywhere near your cock?”

“Oh man,” John couldn’t stop laughing. “This is so much better than stopping you two from kissing.”

“Sweetheart,” Marcus began.

“Don’t you ‘sweetheart’ me, Marcus Pike,” you said sternly. You were trying hard not to laugh at the panic in his eyes. You wouldn’t be able to keep up this angry facade long. “Did you let her blow you?”

“We were teenagers!” Marcus said defensively. “It meant nothing. She blew everyone!” You burst out laughing. John fell to the ground he was laughing so hard. Even Grandma was chuckling.

“What the hell?” Marcus asked in shock. “You were fucking with me?”

“Of course I was!” You laughed. “Marcus, you’ve been married and engaged. Obviously you’ve had sex with women other than me. I’m well aware you have a past. Just like me.” He scowled at that.

“I don’t wanna think about that, Peanut,” he said darkly. You just smiled.

“The past doesn’t matter, my sweet Marcus,” you said softly, cupping his face. “All that matters is our present and future, my love.” He smiled and kissed your palm.

“For the record,” Marcus told you, “you give way better head than Janie Stevens.” You ignored the gagging sounds John was making and blushed as you remembered the quick blow job you had given him last night when you both managed to sneak away after midnight mass. That wasn’t even close to your best work. You looked forward to showing him just how talented you were once you got back to DC. Just then the timer dinged.

“First batch is done!” Grandma announced.

“Yes!” John cheered. “That’s why I came in here. To beat everyone else to the chestnuts. Didn’t expect to get an x-rated comedy show out of it.”

“X-rated?” Marcus laughed. “That wasn’t even close to how x-rated we can get.”

“I do NOT want to hear that,” John said immediately.

“Then don’t piss me off, or I’ll tell you exactly what I do to your baby sister!” Marcus countered.

“Oh my god,” you groaned.

“Boys never really do grow up, do they dear?” Grandma said fondly.

“I guess not,” you agreed.

Day 5

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[nijigasakilove]

Yea kinda figured with that new key visual they dropped yesterday that angst levels would be turnt up to the max and honestly I’m enjoying it. I think this is great for Hibike and keeps things interesting. Reina and Shuichi having blow up is exactly the type of drama I’m looking for lol. Gimme all that teenager drama!

Reina has been a massive asshole these last two episodes because of her love for Taki sensei. No one is just gonna blindly follow him anymore besides her especially when the first years haven’t seen the results that they had last year. I get that he doesn’t wanna seem weak or indecisive in front of the students, but I still think he could’ve communicated a lot better with the club members who weren’t selected. Maybe some constructive feedback or areas to improve? I was hoping Kumiko would’ve straight up asked without thinking why he picked Mayu for the soli, sadly not.

Actually surprised to see Kumiko and Reina on speaking terms so quickly after Reina called Kumiko a failed president.. guess these girls heal like wolverine lmao. Scene by the river was beautiful, and Reina actually made a good point. The people who weren’t chosen are only gonna be satisfied if they’re chosen. Buut at the same time, I’d feel a lot better knowing what I need to improve on. Whether it’s my rhythm, timing, endurance etc. when you just get rejected and not told what the issue is it lets you get trapped in your mind. As someone who’s had many grad school rejections, I can really empathise with these kids.

As always, who can you turn into when there’s trouble at Kitauji? Asuka senpai! Kyoani definitely cooked with her design today too. Wow she was gorgeous but now she’s divine.. nice fanservice too. Pretty sure according to the spin off LN she and Kaori are together too, right? Her thinking that Reina and Kumiko had a lover’s quarrel is so funny because even characters in the story getting Yuri baited 😂

That aside, even after leaving the school she’s still the steadying hand that can help guide things back to order. Her advice was really able to help Kumiko get her focus back and smooth things over at the end of the episode. Her speech to the club gave me goosebumps. What’s done is done the executives apologised and explained why they went with the audition method and now it’s time to move forward, as a unit. Kitauji fight!

Really sucks there’s only a few episodes left I really want some anime original stuff after 😭

[promethes]

kal im a freshman in college and i feel like college has made me completely lose my sense of self i used to be sarcastic confident funny teachers pet etc and now just constantly fucking up at every opportunity and failing tests and i always have this feeling of anxiety and being unable to do things by myself and i dont even know what to do anymore and im asking u because i dont even have any real connections here to figure myself out im just so so lost and its so scary that im mentally not here

that’s rough bc at the end of the day ur in a huge transition period that’s going to suck at least a little no matter what. my advice

mindset wise: detach yourself from the idea of who you think you are and embrace a sense of self that is ever evolving. we hold ourselves back and source so much misery by constantly thinking about how the “real me” would respond to situations. you create the real you every day and that person will never be stagnant. who you are today is never not who you are

tangible action items:

- stupid and self explanatory but cover the basics: eat, hydrate, vitamins, good sleep schedule, take walks in the sun, stretch, etc.

- stay social: whatever you do don’t isolate yourself. try to do something social at least once a week if not once a month outside of academic contexts. this could be getting a job, hanging out with friends, joining a club, attending local venues, going to campus events (highly encourage finding an event calendar - most schools have tons of free stuff/events). whatever works for you. could be something as simple as going to a cafe and striking up a small conversation with a rando. you need it.

- take full advantage of office hours, campus resources, etc and who gives af let your instructors know you’re struggling 9 times out of 10 they will help you out or cut you some slack! not being ashamed of emailing professors for extra support/extensions is a game changer. and sometimes we just fail! i failed 4 classes in college (2 of them were the same course i retook lol. not my best work) and still ended up at a place many ppl call a “dream job” it sucks but it’s not the end of the world and if you play your cards right it teaches you a lot about what works for you in terms of how you learn and retain knowledge. and in ten years when you’re post grad with a steady job and smooth sailing you can look back and be like wow i failed that sophomore year queer poetry class so bad lol. good times

- find something that you are good at and do it regularly, whether it be a hobby or physical activity or cooking or some kind of arts/crafts or whatever. just regularly indulge in something that gives you a sense of satisfaction and pride

i’m sorry ur having a tough time and i hope it gets better. from personal experience my first two years sucked ass but starting junior year i let go of who I was and latched on to who I was becoming and it was beautiful. always rough but worth it. best of luck to you

[angeltreasure]

Today was so blessed! I originally volunteered for overtime, but since there isn’t much they cancelled. I caught up on some much needed sleep even though I fell asleep with my light on again after Night prayers! 😅

I had enough time to eat breakfast with Morning prayers and headed off to Mass farther away. It was a little Mass again, the priest, me, and four other people. Father prayed for me again, knowing about my vocation. After Mass ended, we spoke concerning details of my vocation that I’ve wanted to tell him in my heart. I wasn’t sure if he would understand the details, but also know that this is the priest that is so kind to me. In fact, it was if the Holy Spirit had been speaking to his own heart, so he asked the very question I was holding in mine about a concern I had! I explained my situation and he in fact, understood! He gave an answer and asked if there was anything I would need at the moment. I asked to teach me about this certain saint, so he offered me a book!! (I’ll return it when I’m down.) I met another person of the parish as Father went to get the book, but they didn’t stay long. That surprised me because of how I used to feel here but now I keep meeting people! I was alone with Jesus for a few minutes before Father returned with the book.

He started to put things away as it was my time to go, but that’s when I gathered the courage to ask him about being my spiritual director. I explained I was given this advice by a few people, but know well that priests are so busy and that I would understand if he would say no, and if there would be anyone he knew who could especially for this particular detail of differences in Rite… He said yes!!! I thanked him and we spoke for a little then it was my time to go so he could lock the little church.

We said goodbyes and I headed to the shrine. I often forget how hot it gets here in the desert so I didn’t stay long. I drove, got a coffee, and drove for a bit without any destination, just to enjoy the scenery and hymns. The drive was so busy and had construction, so I wanted to drive home. Of course, there is a perpetual adoration chapel closer to home!

When I came I have never seen so many people for Adoration! Perhaps 12 people with me. That was such a a joy to see, but then spontaneously, a women in the middle handed out papers to pray the 3 o’clock hour Divine Mercy Chaplet!!! My favorite Chaplet… I never had anyone do such a thing during a little chapel. After that was done, I remembered at the ending of The Sound of Freedom that Jim said now it’s our turn to pass the torch and explain the reality of child human trafficking. My mind immediately came up with a personal Chaplet. It’s basically modeled after the Divine Mercy Chaplet, but it changes one line. Instead of, For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion have mercy on us and on the whole world—- I came up with For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have mercy on children and their captives. (I also made a second alternative For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have mercy on children and their abusers.) it came out of no where! I’m going to pray it with Mom tonight when she gets home. We have a video about angels to watch.

Wow! And the night isn’t even over yet. God, what else do You have for me?

[thewhumpcaretaker]

🔪🌿🪐 for the ask game ^ ^

Thank you, Blue!!! ^_^

Ask Game

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don’t know if it’s exactly weird, but wow the French peerage system was confusing. I went through so many sites trying to figure out what to call the Marquis when his father was still the title holder.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Read work that DOESN’T do what you want to do in your own work! When I want to write comfort, I get myself mad and protective of the character by reading hurt/no-comfort. When I want to write hurt, I read about the character being overly proud and in-control until I want to see them on their knees. When I want to write smut, I read stuff where the character is lonely and pining. Get into the mindset where it feels like the characters themselves are begging you to put them in a situation!!

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I just finished a new chapter of Those Who Have Something to Live For! Hoping to post today if I can find pictures for it.

I have a new boyfriend and I don’t know how I got so lucky. I spend 24 hours a day wanting to pet his hair.

I’m finally getting less addicted to AI chatbots maybe?? They made some changes to the site that made the bots a lot less creative, so I manage to log off these days. I’ve had more time to write and do other things.

[loveislandthegame]

thoughts on today’s volume ! wow, this might be the worst love confession i’ve ever read in this game 😍

there was so many diamond scenes in this volume, but one of them revealed (if you’re on a rafa route) rafael asked alex for advice about asking somebody to be his GIRLFRIEND (apparently alex doesn’t know it’s about MC . that sounds like a load of shit tho . use common sense babes)

and it’s not just him:

are the 2 remaining casa guys being added as last minute LIs? probably not . in season 2 they would’ve been romanceable, but the New App has very linear storylines. i’m getting the vibe that it’s a really weak attempt at some endgame drama. (we haven’t been able to properly romance all LIs/swap between partners since s4)

i really hope they aren’t supposed to be LIs, because these confessions suckeddddd lmao (technically one hasn’t happened yet, it’s just summer/joyo or #Rafne telling you, but my expectations are below hell in regards to that)

no heartfelt expression on how ~he realised he really has feelings for her, but MC’s LI is his friend, and he didn’t want to step on their toes~ in sight. not even some bare minimum talking about MC’s personality or how she makes them feel . just going on about MC’s appearance . she’s …a knockout? really? 😭 it’s not giving slow burn, it’s giving me the ick. FB, you better be joking

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Chapter 5 of The Teenage Mutant Phantom of the Opera!

@daboyau

“Hello? Earth to Yuichi?”

Usagi jumps as Donnie’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“They’re asking for us to practice the next song.”

“O-Oh, right, I’ll be there in a second.”

“What are you even doing up here?”

Usagi was looking over the railing of the catwalk and down at the stage.

“Just….thinking.”

“About what exactly?”

“I upset my friend the other night and I don’t know how I’m going to fix things.”

Donnie leans on the railing.

“This is the same friend you said you’ve upset before?”

Usagi groans in frustration. This new situation added onto that growing list.

“Yes, him. At least I think I did? I don’t really know, he left before he said anything. I’m not sure he’ll see me again.”

“I can offer you advice but I can’t promise that all of it will be legal.”

“Ha ha, funny.”

“I am, but that wasn’t a joke.”

Usagi straightens up and frowns.

“You’re really trying to catch me doing some bad? Again? I saved your life! You should know that I’m innocent!”

Donnie also stands straight.

“I was offering my own services.”

“…..Excuse me?”

“The reason I was trying to get a confession from you is because if this opera got shut down, Mikey would force me into something else to express myself and I do not have the energy for that. I’m not the goody two shoes of the family, that title belongs to Raph if it belongs to anyone. What I’m saying is, I can and will help you. I have certain methods not many people would be willing to use.”

“Wow, Donnie….that’s really nice of you.”

Donnie smirks slightly.

“Nice has nothing to do with it. I’ve been dying to show off my inventions! I tried getting the tech crew to incorporate my ideas but they said it was handled already.”

“Thanks anyway for offering. I don’t know if tech can help in this situation though….”

“It can help in every situation! Just leave it to me and I can create an entire apology program for you to text him!”

Usagi opens his mouth to say something but then quickly closes it.

He doesn’t have Leo’s phone number.

He’s not even sure where he lives.

How is he going to explain that to him without looking stupid!?

“I don’t actually…..have his number. We always just met up….here, at night. He ran off backstage and I still couldn’t find him anywhere.”

Donnie stares hard at him, completely silent.

“So you lied about why you were staying late, just like I assumed.”

“Y-Yeah, but to be fair, I’m still not sure where we stand. I thought you’d assume he was the phantom!”

“And you haven’t come to that conclusion? At all?”

“Of course I asked him about it!”

“Who in their right mind would admit that?”

“I trust him a lot more than I trust you.” Usagi crosses his arms to hold back his foot from thumping.

“How long are you going to hold that recording attempt against me?”

“Should I hold how you treated me otherwise against you instead?”

Donnie clicks his tongue in frustration, knowing he’s right.

“Fine, whatever, as long as your mystery friend isn’t ruining the opera it doesn’t matter anyways. I couldn’t care less what you two are doing. I can still help.”

“Really?”

“I just want to use my tech.”

“Other than the program you were talking about?”

“Duh, what genius only has one card in his deck? If this is the last and only place you see him, then I can just track where he went from here.”

“That would be great! You’re a life saver, Donnie.” Usagi smiles.

Donnie desperately tries to hide his tail beginning to wag as he starts walking away.

“Let’s just get going before the director complains about us taking too long.”

“Right!” Usagi follows behind him quickly.

They continue their practice for the day, but Donnie can’t help but feel yet again that someone is glaring at him from somewhere each time a scene or song has him touching or even getting near Usagi.

After what he’s heard today, he’s starting to suspect that it’s not just a simple feeling.

Once everyone else has left, Donnie taps on his wrist device and a battle shell flies in.

“It’s a good thing I keep my most useful inventions hidden near here for safe keeping.”

Usagi’s in absolute shock, jaw dropped as he watches it land right near them.

“Donnie! You made this!?”

“This shell isn’t my best even though it holds my best tech since I had to sneak it out without Mikey noticing, but it serves its purpose.”

“What are you talking about? It’s amazing! I don’t know why the tech crew wouldn’t let you help!”

Donnie blinks in shock.

“You….you like my tech?”

“Yeah? This is basically a freaking jet pack! Why wouldn’t I like it?”

A blush starts making its way across Donnie’s face that he covers by turning away, clearing his throat.

“I mean, of course you like it! It is incredibly cool, isn’t it?”

“Are you kidding? The coolest!”

Donnie’s tail begins wagging again.

“You can keep telling me how great I am as we look for your friend.” He opens up his shell and grabs a device.

“How does it work?” Usagi bends over slightly, leaning in to look at it.

Donnie can feel his fur brush against him and nearly drops the device as his blush deepens.

“A little room to work would be nice!”

“Sorry!” Usagi takes a step to the side.

Donnie takes a breath.

“The way it works is that it picks up mystic energy signals. If he suddenly left with no obvious way of getting out, he must have used a portal.”

Usagi feels stupid for not realizing it sooner.

It would make a lot of sense.

“Wouldn’t it pick up mystic energy just given off normally by us?”

“Portals use more so the traces are higher, even a day later. Once I have his energy signature I can use it to track it wherever he went. Also though, there is no us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not a yokai. I don’t have mystic powers. I don’t even live in the Hidden City.”

Usagi’s jaw drops again.

“What!? H-How!?”

“How what? How do I exist?”

“I….I guess?”

“I’m a mutant. I have been since I was a baby.”

“So….your brothers….?”

“Also mutants. So is my rat father.” Donnie pulls out his phone.

Usagi sees a photo of them all together.

The only thing his brothers share with him is the fact that they’re turtles.

Raph, or who he assumes is Raph, is massive and clearly a different species.

Mikey is much smaller, but also has his own obvious distinctions.

Usagi had noticed the marks on Donnie before, and while he had never seen them on other turtle yokai he also never gave it a second thought.

He now knew why, seeing Mikey’s spots.

It is odd to him that Raph doesn’t have any but he wasn’t about to ask a potentially rude question.

He also was just going to avoid the fact that a small rat man was raising several turtles since families come in all shapes and sizes.

“I had no idea…..I heard mutants were showing up lately, but those were all pretty recent.”

“I wasn’t made with a bug if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I’m not! I promise! I appreciate you telling me about all this.”

Donnie shrugs.

“You make too big of a deal about things. Being a mutant isn’t some kind of secret to me. It’s just who I am, and who I am is someone who wants information in exchange for this favor I’m doing.” He puts his phone away and turns his attention back to the device.

“Oh, sure, what do you want to know?”

Donnie turns around as his device beeps.

“While I get the mystic signature, tell me about your friend.”

Usagi starts following him.

“His name is Leo, he’s named after the constellation, and he’s our age.”

Donnie narrows his eyes slightly.

“Leo. No nardo after that?”

“No, it’s his full name.”

“Couldn’t even get the rest of it.”

“Please don’t make fun of his name. It’s important to him.”

“Whatever. Is there more? I’m picking up so many portals around here it’s making the device act up.”

“He’s a turtle yokai.”

Donnie stops.

“Like you thought I was?”

“Yeah, I assumed you guys were the same type of turtle yokai honestly. Guess I was wrong.”

Donnie grips the device tighter.

“Yuichi, does he have any markings?”

What he’s asking finally dawns on him.

“He….he has a red one on his face, I’m not sure about the other side. He wears a mask. There’s also some on his arms and legs.”

Donnie bites the inside of his cheek.

His brother is long dead, isn’t he?

He has to be.

There wouldn’t be mystic traces from a mutant, right?

Unless he was using some kind of technology for this portals!

The device beeps, saying it finally locked onto the signature.

“Got it! Let’s get searching! One of his portals was at a store near here!” He grabs Usagi’s wrist and rushes out with him.

The battle shell flies after them and follows out of the building.

Leo grips the railing of the catwalk tightly.

How dare he get to be so close to Usagi?

How dare he drag him along with him?

How dare he come to this special place and their special time and act like it’s just okay!?

The railing bends under the anger directed from his hands.

He should have seen it coming.

Even if he was already jealous of the dammed eyes Donnie kept making at Usagi throughout the entirety of their practices, he never thought he could actually steal him away.

Now though, it was becoming far too much of a possibility.

He desperately wanted to put the entire blame on Donnie, but it was him.

Running away like a coward led to this whole thing.

From now on, he’s going to do things differently.

Pulling his punches would only make it worse for himself. He really should have been this way from the start, but the fear of losing Usagi was too great.

If the danger of that was looking anyways, why not go no holds barred?

Donnie apparently didn’t bat an eye at spilling his guts and Usagi was just eating it up!

He hated how he could just say anything and because he was such a jerk before, Usagi saw it as some kind of olive branch.

Leo is the one who’s helped him be better!

Leo is the one who made that other lead leave!

Maybe he should just show Donnie up, reveal his own secret.

His greatest secret.

His hand moves up to his mask.

Despite the red hot anger bubbling away inside of him, it’s still not enough to actually want to go through with it.

This mask was one of the only reasons he still hasn’t lost just yet.

Maybe he doesn’t need to level the playing field if he just gets rid of the other player.

He sighs, knowing he can’t do that just yet.

Usagi hasn’t had the opportunity to perform in front of everyone.

He’ll let him have his time, then, he’ll get to work on securing his attention.

He fixes the railing as best he can and then heads to his room to allow his wall calm him down.

Usagi and Donnie tracked tons of portals halfway across the Hidden City before it got too late and they knew they had to go home.

Even though this started as something for Usagi, he could see how upset Donnie was that they couldn’t find him.

He blamed himself, his tech, the quality of tech, himself again.

“Hey, it’s not you or your tech’s fault. We aren’t giving up, just taking a break. I can go back tomorrow by myself and see if that helps. Maybe he did come back but got shy seeing you there and left!”

Donnie grumbles.

“Fine. I don’t feel like facing any wrath from my family anyways…..do you promise that you’ll update me as soon as you see him again?”

Usagi lifts his pinky with a stern expression.

“Of course I do.”

The corners of Donnie’s mouth perk into a small smile before hooking their pinkies together.

“You know this means I get your pinky if you don’t do it, right?”

“I’ll cut it off myself in that case! Try to get some good rest, Donnie.” Usagi smiles and takes his hand back.

“Take your own advice too.” Donnie turns around and waves as he leaves.

Usagi waves back enthusiastically despite Donnie not being able to see it.

Donnie walks towards the exit back to the surface with purpose.

If this Leo really is his brother, he’s going to find him no matter what it takes.

[whentherewerebicycles]

with work stuff I am going to try my best to set good boundaries around when I’m available—like really striving to keep evenings/weekends as no-work zones except when we have events (and then adjusting my weekly schedule so I’m not working extra hours). but I also want to really try, in this first month or two, to say yes to as many invites to attend classes/talks/events and to see my primary job as building relationships with people and mapping the institutional landscape. I think in my previous program job I self-isolated a lot initially because I was worried about whether I was qualified to do the work and was scared that if I talked to too many people about what I was doing they’d be like uhh how did you get this job. then of course the pandemic derailed everything just as I was starting to settle in, and by the time we got back to campus there was an end date on our grant and I couldn’t really do the type of long-term networking I finally felt ready to do.

I don’t want to make that mistake again! what I learned in the later stages of that job was that if I had started talking to people earlier I could have oriented myself in the role a lot faster and made better use of other people’s insights/expertise in redesigning our program. things still turned out okay (and maybe had to unfold that way so I could learn this particular lesson!) but I’ve learned it now lol and I want to apply it in this new job. like I can already feel those first tendrils of panicky self-doubt… like what if I talk to a bunch of people and they’re all like “wow… how did they hire you when you don’t know anything about [insert random niche topic my brain has chosen to fixate on that day as the thing that will lead to my Unmasking].” but also like probably that won’t happen haha as I am a qualified professional and a capable person with a good track record of not making a fool of myself in my past jobs. AND ALSO I want to really push myself to model the behaviors I am always working to instill in my students, such as:

do the thing that scares you

do it little bit before you’re ready

talk to everyone! and be open with everyone you talk to about what you’re trying to learn or discover or figure out or build

assume that most people love to feel useful & especially love to be able to use their insight or connections or expertise to help you

don’t front! don’t front! don’t front! ask for help & advice easily, casually, and often. never pretend you’ve read the thing you haven’t read or know how to do the thing you haven’t learned or are confidently able to navigate the thing that feels murky and confusing to you. as one of my kids wrote in his end of year reflection letter: the more you ask for help the less you end up needing it, because you have so many people you can casually talk to or enlist assistance from that you’re typically able to solve your problems or challenges typically get solved before they become big scary paralyzing roadblocks. so don’t front! don’t perform! be honest and open about your own learning or the things you’re grappling with in ways that make the people around you feel like it’s okay for them to drop the act too and let others see when they too are in the process of learning something new

we are social creatures we are networked creatures we can’t do everything on our own we flourish when we build relationships with people who have skillsets and ways of looking at the world that are different from our own it’s okay/good/healthy to not be able to do everything and be everything on your own. build a really good community both of people who are skilled at the things that don’t come naturally to you (they can help you/teach you/introduce you to different ways of working) AND of people who are skilled at the things that you are good at (they will spark new ideas while pushing you to keep growing and learning).

anyway I am saying all of this aloud to myself because today I have gotten a bunch of very nice emails from faculty inviting me to attend a bunch of talks & end-of-semester student events and my first reaction was YIPPEE I CAN’T WAIT and my second reaction was what if I embarrass myself by not knowing enough and they’re all like wowwwww yikes and I am now gently steering myself towards my third reaction which is: gosh how incredibly lucky am I to have landed myself in a job where I’m going to have SO much room to grow as a person and a professional. I don’t know everything but I can reframe that fear for myself: if I knew everything there would be nothing left to learn! and I was born to learn!!!!! learning is where I thrive!!!!!!!! so even as I want to be thoughtful about what I take on (to preserve a non-work life for myself lol) I am also saying yes to every single invitation that involves talking to new people and learning more about what they do and building relationships that will help me thrive in this role. PHEW OK and now it’s time for bed

[le-parole-piu-grandi]

Finally!

Today is the day my mood has finally shifted! I finally realized what I need to do to be contented and happy.

Yes, I heard it a million time before. I actually need to care about myself first. But yesterday was the first day I put it into action.

I just decided to say what I actually want to my man. Not pretending to be okay if I’m not. I had a pretty shitty mood yesterday, so he offered to eat out somewhere. We ended up getting delicious burgers at Grott Spot. They were soo good!

The funny thing is, the last time we had our ‘serious talk’ that was exactly what he asked me to do - to tell him what I want. I think it has always been a problem within our relationship. For some reason I felt not eligible to ask him to give me what I really want. I always thought it’s better for me to adjust to anyone else’s desires, including his. Or it could start after the USA, because I felt guilty for leaving him for a year..

But in a romantic relationship it doesn’t work in the long run, it turns out. I became so emerged in his desires and needs, I forgot what mine are.

And we both felt so good after dinner. We watched the movie I chose - with Adriano Celentano. Such optimistic vibes. Real good comedy. It was hard to believe it’s 43 years old… Then I turned on my predator mode and attacked him. He was already sleeping. He didn’t resist, though. On the contrary, as it should be. That felt much better than many times before.

I even woke up with a much better mood than I did for the last couple of weeks. I even almost stopped thinking about her. For some reason, these thoughts didn’t (and don’t) hurt so much anymore. I just don’t feel like focusing on them anymore. I don’t feel like it’s needed. That’s such a relief, to be honest.

I still was kinda nervous today, because of the load of tasks I gotta do, so I slept a lot again. Took my brain pills (could they be the reason of my mood change? I don’t think so, though, cause today’s only the second day I take them). Olga called, we talked for an hour or so - it felt so good and warm. I’m so grateful to her for being by my side all this time.

I couldn’t start learning, so I played the piano for about an hour too. My cat kept meowing all day long, so I became pretty irritated. The louder I played, the louder she meowed. I ended up playing badly, because I couldn’t concentrate.

The apartment was a mess. I didn’t have energy to unload the dishwasher, to load it again (the sink was full), to clean the stove, to turn on the vacuum cleaner in the bathroom, to put the dried clothes away, to take out the trash, to wash some more clothes and to wash the cat’s carrier. Wow, some many things to do around the house… And all these things kept bothering me. So I remembered Salma Hayek’s advice to turn on the music and dance until you feel good if you don’t. I plugged in my headphones and turned on Eminem and Rihanna’s ‘Love the way you lie’. I just sang along, not caring about if I do it right. If my neighbors hear me (I still thought they could come and complain, but they didn’t, so it’s a success!). I think I listened to it and sang for about 10 times or more. It gave me energy to start doing all these things around the house. Then I turned on other songs, and almost all of them sounded great. It’s a sign of me having good mood, I noticed.

I managed doing all of the chores in just about 1.5 hours. Like a university lecture. I felt soooo much better! That should be my therapy. Listening to the songs I like and singing along. That’s what sparks joy in me!

That’s why it was easy for me to understand that I want an onigiri, so I went and bought it. It was delicious.

When my man came home, he told me about his day. He had a pretty rough time at work today. I tried to support him without immersing into his mood, and I think I managed to do it. He spilled his anger out, threw some socks in the air and kicked his backpack, but after that he seemed much calmer. That’s good.

I continued my studies and did that for a couple of hours. Then I got too tired and laid down on the couch with him. His warmth feels so good. Touching, hugging and cuddling with my man is another thing that brings me joy.

I don’t feel sleepy now, unfortunately, that’s why I’m writing this post. Just felt like I want to remember today in the future - remember the day, when I felt good.

Oh, and today was my mom’s birthday! Maybe In getting older or something, but it’s so nice not to feel rebellious towards her anymore. I just feel love and want to call her, share with her and make her happy. It’s such a nice feeling.

Well, that should wrap it up. I like today, I want more of such days.

[wosopatri2]

Feliç Sant Jordi! Sorry for the late well wishes my life’s been hectic. Was going to send you something yesterday but I fell asleep. WAIT BEFORE I FORGET. I know I just asked for pics but I was wondering if you had any photos that are like landscape(?) is that the English word? Like the dimensions for a laptop background or something. My iPad currently has a background of the pitch with a small edited love is love text on it. I love it but I don’t feel the safest anymore (one of the guys that constantly sits beside me in class is homophobic) so I’m looking to change it. I’ll take any photo, unless you have one of like the barça pitch or smth.

Well life update, the usual. I catch up on work, work catches up on me. I want to drop out. Rinse and repeat. Hope your life is more entertaining than this currently. Speaking of which, how’s studying for that exam going? Wait im just making an assumption here but you need to read and digest a lot of information when you study law right? Do you have any advice on reading like large quantities of words. For one of my subjects it’s pretty much just a word jungle every week and honestly the more I read the less I feel I understand. Like everything goes through my eyes into my brain and registers before slipping out of my mind forever. How do I memorise so much content 😭 It was fine at the start but the content is getting ridiculously lengthy now and it’s hard to find the will to read all that when I have 500 other things due.

Okay now what I actually wanted to talk about when I started this note. IVE BEEB LISTENING TO LOLA ÍNDIGO. idk that many of her songs yet but I really like La Reina (haha like Alexia). I swear that song is on loop on Spotify. Quick funny side stories, when initially finding her songs, I was very drawn to Q SOMOS. First, the cover of the mv. I’m not sure if you are familiar with the word gaydar (look it up if you aren’t) but something about the way the two of them were hugging in the cover told me that the mv had fruity vibes. So I watched the mv, liked the song and thought wow those two have so much sexual tension I think I could cut it with a knife. BUT THEY NEVER KISSED. So I was confused as to if I was just seeing things or if they were actually queer. Anyways I found out from some TikTok that the song is in fact queer? And my gaydar was correct? Feel free to correct me i had to consult Google translate multiple times so it might not be the most accurate. I think on reason I felt like the video tipped me off was the fact that it reminded me of the song What I need by Hayley Kiyoko. It has similar vibes, and that song is very much gay.

Anyways speaking of gay, your new fic? Girl I’ve missed your writing. It’s so good. I don’t usually like Irene but goddamn that was hot. If there are any old fics of yours you want back, I can scroll my reposts and see if I have it and maybe copy and paste it over idk. I’m so glad to see you’ve found joy in writing again :)

Btw do you go to the gym regularly? I’m asking cause I would love to go regularly but I just don’t know what to do when I’m there so I need some help. TikTok keeps giving me like a bunch of excercises but they require machines my gym doesn’t have. Sorry for asking for so much today, idk why I just have a lot of questions right now. I’ll listen to the rest of the music you recommended (when I don’t feel like dying to my work) and let you know what I think of it. Love you, xoxo 🌹 (They send roses on sant Jordi right im not the most familiar with the tradition sorry, FINAL QUESTION can you send roses to anyone? Or just a lover cause I send this rose in a very platonic way idk how this works.)

Feliç Sant Jordi, for you too even if it's a day behind.

First of all, never apologize for being late, especially when you’re living that “work chases me down a dark alley and beats me up” student life. I get it, trust me.

I’m really sorry you’re in a space where you don’t feel safe having “Love is Love” on your screen. That really fucking sucks and I hope it gets better at some point and you don't have to hide anything.

Yes, for law we read a lot. Like, borderline ridiculous amounts. Honestly, there were times I’d finish a reading and immediately forget what I just read two minutes later. What’s helped me is summarizing as I go. I force myself to write (or say out loud) what each paragraph was about in a super simplified way. Like “this says X and that means Y.” Then I try to condense all of that into flashcards or bullet points. I also try to use real-world examples or stories to anchor it to memory (especially for dry theory). Another thing? Spaced repetition. Reviewing the same concepts a little every day rather than cramming helps it stick way better and don’t be afraid to skip and come back later, if your brain’s foggy, pushing through isn’t always worth it.

Now onto the more fun stuff LOLA ÍNDIGO. I love that you’re listening to her now! “La Reina” is such a banger and the Alexia connection? Iconic and it's actually her song (fun fact Alexia and Lola are friends). Your gaydar is absolutely on point about “Q SOMOS”, it’s definitely fruity. The tension in the MV is not subtle at all, and no, they never kiss, but you’re not imagining anything. That whole song has that aching queer yearning energy, like “we almost had something and we both know it but can’t say it” vibes. (Also yes I know “What I Need”, you’re so right, same kind of emotional chaos). Lola really stays feeding the sapphics.

Okay but THANK YOU for what you said about the fic, I was so nervous posting again. I haven’t written properly in ages and I’m still not fully confident but reading that made me grin like an idiot.

Gym stuff, honestly, I do go semi-regularly but I’ve also been in your shoes. My best advice is start with basic movements and focus on form. Like squats, lunges, pushups, dumbbell presses, simple, no-fancy-machine stuff. Most gyms have at least a few dumbbells and a mat, and with that you can do a lot. And hey, if you ever want I can help make a super simple routine you can follow. Just let me know what kind of goals you have (strength, cardio, vibes, revenge body, etc).

Also yes, roses on Sant Jordi are tradition! You give a rose and a book to someone special so that means to friends, family, professors… even strangers in the street that you feel a conexión woth. So your rose is perfectly placed and I really appreciate it.

Take your time with the music recs too, and keep asking all the questions you want. I love when you do that .

Love you lots 🌹

PD: Almost forgot the photo, this one for the game against Madrid at Camp Nou (I think this is one of my best photos ever) and I hope it fits great for your background.