#wow i’m getting so many ‘advice’ asks today

[cherrysurf]

Tall blonde and evil! | Katsuki Bakugo x f!reader

chapter 6; eh your not bad.

Just like he said the chauffeur arrived on time, with everything honestly it felt kinda nice to be spoiled by a man since your lack of male attention was little to none you basked in the moment even if it was from your shitty boss. I mean like you said before, rude,ignorant and yells a lot but treats the people who work for him with respect. Even if you two bicker constantly it became the norm it was comfortable and neither of you took it to heart thinking about it made a stupid smirk grow on your face “why am i smiling over this blonde bastard” you say in your head slapping your face to wake you up from this delusion, luckily you arrived to the mall finally bakugou's chauffeur said to call him when you were ready to be picked you, you politely thanked him and headed out into the mall. “mmh a red or black dress…” you say in your head looking over the vast amount of stores seeing what would catch your eye you passed by prada before you could find a store for a dress and decided to get the professional work outfit done and out of the way you walked in a bit nervous about the whole situation “hi how can i help?” a nice lady in her mid 40’s who still looked youthful as ever and looked like she carried herself very well approached you with a smile “hi yes my name is yn im here for an appointment” you say smiling back “ah yes your with me come come darling” she says guiding you to the back of the store and leading you into a room with many options of office like clothes that were all in the dark gray, black color pallets. Your eyes scanned the entire room to admire how beautifully decorated and secluded it was “here miss yn i’ve had a few already picked out for you, if you don’t like any of these or need an opinion im right here to assist you” she says “i’ll bring you some tea for right now while you get started on trying on outfits” she continues “thank you so much, i really appreciate it” you say smiling “my pleasure” she says with a small nod making her way out the room. The first two outfits didn’t look quite right on your figure, bakugou’s shopping assistant walks back in as you finish putting on the third outfit “wow that one looks stunning on you” she says in awe “you really think so? i think it’s really cute too” you say looking at yourself in the mirror “yes i do. We have it in white if you’d like to try it on?” she proposes “uhm do you think he’d mind if i wore white to the interview?” you ask nervously “not at all i think it would look even better, here let me go get it for you” she says “oh- okay thank you again” you say you weren’t entirely sure if bakugou would get upset at you for wearing something that wasn’t specifically laid out but it was just a color change and clearly he trusted her enough so why not take her advice, and oh boy was she right it looked absolutely beautiful on you “i think this is the one” you say feeling confident “i think so too. It’s perfect and professional, you can change and i’ll get that all set for you” she says “thank you so much for your help today i see why bakugou trusts you so much your choices are amazing” you say happy “thank you i’m glad he’s an amazing customer one of my top clients actually” she says “that’s something new i learned about him today i guess” you say “he’s a man of mystery at first but becomes really easy to read after a while” she says with a giggle “come darling let’s go to the front now” she says you collect your things and you both head to the front, you pay and thank her for everything and she bids you farewell.

“Okay dress and heels now let’s do this.” you say trying to hype yourself up but the hard truth was you only found a nice pair of manolo blanhink hangisi kitten-heel satin slingback pumps that were perfect but no dress at all. “why the fuck is it so hard to find a dress” you groan after hours of being at the mall then it suddenly hits you, that one crimson red dress that your mother left for you and told you to bring when you moved out to the city because “you never know when you need a nice formal dress” she said i guess she’s right all along you decided that you were done and over with today and called bakugou’s chauffeur to come pick you up to head home for a much needed nap.

hopefully this long chapter makes up for all the short ones bye guys

taglist; @kalulakunundrum @sweetadonisbutbetter @rednicotine @ikissfade @bakugouswh0r3 @allurearia @themultifandomgirl @junehasnotbeenfound @darhinadadragon @kodzubaby @harryzcherry @kholethecutie @s4ikooo1 @babylambdietcoke @lover-no-lover61 @sikuthealien @sahrii

[xoxoxkisses]

“I’m not yours.”

Warnings: small angst, slight sanemi x reader, not proofread (sorry im too lazy)

————————————————————————

You have liked Tokito for a few months now. He had saved you in a previous battle and ever since you’ve fallen for him more and more. You were finally able to apply to be someone Tsuguko, so obviously you applied to become Tokito’s.

You had sent him a letter applying to become his Tsuguko and now you were waiting for his response. As you were washing up from a training session, Tokito’s crow brought a letter to you. As you reached for it you told her thank you and opened the letter.

“I apologize for taking a while to write back, I have been thinking about your application for a while now. I accept you as my Tsuguko. Meet me at my estate at dawn and bring all of your belongings as you will stay with me from now on. -Tokito”

You jumped with joy. You didn’t hesitate to go pack for the next day.

————————————————————————

As you walked to the Mist Hashira’s estate, your heart was beating fast. You were nervous you would disappoint him. As you entered the courtyard of the estate you could see Tokito waiting at the stairs for you. As you walked further he saw you and offered to help you with your bags.

Once you got your stuff settled, Tokito told you it was time for your first training session. As the two of you walked to the training area, he spoke up. “I’ve heard many good things about you which is why it took me a while to answer your letter. You are my first Tsuguko after all.” You were shocked when he said the last sentence. How could you be his first Tsuguko?

The two of you began to train. He had requested you to strike at the tree in front of you. He complimented you on your skills, but also told you a lot of things you need to work on. You were very appreciative for his help and advice. You both trained hard until the end of the day.

The two of you had went inside now. Your stomach growled, you were hungry. You haven’t ate since lunch and it was now dusk. “Master Tokito, would you like me to make dinner?” He looked at you and tilted his head, “I suppose that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Go ahead, i don’t care what you cook.” You smiled at him and started cooking. You had made some ramen as you were too tired to make anything big.

As you sat down to eat, Tokito ate with you. You two didn’t really talk much, just a few thanks and compliments on the food. Once you both were done, you cleaned the table and Tokito washed the dishes. When you were done, you told him goodnight and started towards your room. “Y/N.” You turned around confused. “Yes Master Tokito?” You looked at him with a confused look on your face. “I just wanted to say you did good today.” You smiled at him and said thank you. You turned and carried on to your room. ————————————————————————

It has been a few weeks since you have been training under Tokito, and it seems as your relationship with each other has grown. The two of you talked more and went everywhere together.

Tokito was sent on a mission a few days ago. You trained hard and took care of things around the estate. As you were making lunch, you heard the door opened and there Tokito stood. “Welcome back!” You said smiling. “Y/N, I have to tell you something.” You were nervous with the tone of his voice. He sounded serious. “Okay Master Tokito.” You stopped what you were doing and went to him. The two of you sat down and stared at each other.

“When I was gone on my mission I met a girl. And I need your help.” His face lit up with red. The blood drained from your face, you felt your chest get tight and you felt yourself shaking. “..Oh wow..! I’m happy for you, what can I do to help..?” You were trying to hold yourself up, you couldn’t break down in front of him. “Well I’d like advice to make a move on her.” He was looking at the ground now smiling. He’s never smiled like that at you.

“Well maybe you can ask her on a date and take her to one of your favorite spots.” Tears were threatening to come now. “That’s a good idea. Thanks Y/N, you’re the best Tsuguko I could ask for.” He smiled at you, and your heart fluttered. You excused yourself and went to your room.

Tokito noticed you haven’t been your outgoing self lately. You always brushed it off as you were tired. He started talking about her more and more. He talked about her at every chance he could, at dinner, lunch, training. You couldn’t take it anymore. As he was talking about her at dinner, you interrupted him and excused yourself. You washed your dishes and went to your room.

In your room you wrote a letter to your best friend, Mitsuri. The two of you became friends after seeing each other a lot once you became Tokito’s Tsuguko. After you sent the letter you started crying. You suppose Tokito heard you as his knocked on the door asking if you were okay. With muffled sniffles, you told him you were and he walked away.

He was confused on why you left. He noticed you had been acting different but he didn’t know why. Once he finished his food and washed his dishes, he went to his room. But on his way he heard sniffles coming from your room. When you said you were fine he knew you weren’t but didn’t want to bother you.

Mitsuri answered you back the next day. She asked for you to come hang out with her. You accepted and told Tokito about it and he let you go. As the two of you walked around, you saw Tokito and the girl he liked. The way they looked at each other was making you upset. You wanted him to look at you that way, not her. Mitsuri noticed and gasped, she looked at you to turn you away, but you were already crying. Tokito looked over and saw the two of you, and you crying. You ran off before he could come over.

He saw you run and he was concerned. He excused himself from the girl and went to Mitsuri. “What is wrong with Y/N?” He looked worried. “Well Tokito..Y/N likes you, and they have for a while.” His eyes went wide. “What?” He couldn’t believe it at all.

He knew where you were, without thinking he and the girl he was with went there. Once they arrived, he saw you sitting in the field of daisies crying. “Y/N?” You heard him call. You turned around and saw her. “Master Tokito, what is she doing here.” There was a hint of anger in your voice. Why would he bring her to your spot? “It would have been rude if I didn’t Y/N.” He tried to justify himself. “No, it’s rude you did bring her. This place is my secret, you know that.” You turned away from him. Both of them walked up to you he sat down next to you as the girl sat on the other side. “I’m sorry Y/N.” He said looking at you. You didn’t say anything. That’s when she spoke up. “Did you not hear him? He said he’s sorry. I’m sorry he likes me and not you, im just better.” Something inside you snapped. You slapped her and walked off, Tokito trying to stop you.

You arrived at his estate and packed your belongings. You were going back to your estate. You didn’t regret anything you did. In your eyes she deserved it. ————————————————————————

It had been a few days since you spoke to Tokito. You had been sent on a mission. As you arrived, you were instantly surrounded by demons. You tried to fight back but there was too many and just one of you. You held them off as long as you could but they were all attacking you. You couldn’t take it anymore. That’s when the Wind Hashira showed up. He couldn’t even belittle you as he could tell you tried your best. Once he finished the rest of them, he picked you up and ran you back to the Butterfly Mansion.

Shinobu had told him your injuries were severe and you may not make it. Sanemi stayed with you, hoping you’d wake up. It had been a month and there was still no signs of you waking up. Until one day you hand twitched. Sanemi saw and ran to get Shinobu. You woke up not too long after and she did a check up on you.

You stayed there for a few weeks. Sanemi was always there for you. When you were able to leave, you went to your estate. Sanemi went with you to make sure you made it safely. At your estate, you saw Tokito. When he saw you his face lit up and he ran to you. “Y/N, you’re alive! I thought I lost you!” He hugged you. You tried pushing him away but you were too weak. Sanemi noticed this and pushed him away for you. “You aren’t needed here Tokito. Go home.” Tokito looked at you guys. “But shes mine.” He said with a glare. “I’m not yours. I never was.” You looked at him with tears in your eyes. He looked at you and started crying. After that he left.

Sanemi stayed with you for a few days. Although you were better and got sent home, you were coming down with a fever. He tried helping you but you continued to get worse. Shinobu would come to you to try to treat you, but nothing worked.

A few days later Sanemi was at your side holding your hand. You looked at him. “Sanemi, thank you for being there for me when I needed it. But I think it’s time.” You had tears in your eyes. “Y/N, you’re going to be fine, I’ll call Shinobu.” He tried to get up to call her. “No Sanemi. She wont make it in time. Please just stay here and hold me.” And so he did. He picked you up and held you. That’s when you took your last breath.

Sanemi always blamed Tokito for your death. If it wasn’t for him you would’ve been ready to fight those demons. Sanemi would always see you in his dreams, he missed you dearly. And so did you. ————————————————————————

a/n: I know I said I only write for Muichiro, but I couldn’t help but add a small Sanemi x reader 😖

[moongirlcleo]

ft members x reader comfort

summary: how the fairy tail members (as many as u can put or are willing to put so long as the main characters and dragon slayers are included.. + sting cause why not) would react to you being upset over a friend who you care a lot about finding a new friend group and brushing you aside. like what would they say or do to comfort you? CW: none this is just fluff and comfort AN: this was adorable anon

Natsu: I can see Natsu being confused at first over why you were upset over your friend meeting other poeple. He’d brush it off as well saying something like “Well, why not be friends with them too?” It wouldn’t be until after Lucy smacks some sense into him that he realizes the truth about why you’re upset. He and Happy would go try and find something they know you really like so they could bring a smile on your face. If books are your thing, he’d ask Levy to find the rarest book she could in order to gift it to you.

Gray: Gray is less oblivious than Natsu and I can totally see him trying to figure out a way to cheer you up, but feeling incredibly awkward about it. He’d eventually murmur “I’m sorry to hear about your friend. You can do better than them, though. You have us” and take you for some ice cream.

Lucy: Out of team Natsu, she is the most caring. She’d be the one to give you a big hug and tell you that your family in the guild will always be there for you. Lucy also wouldn’t let you mope around alone, either. She’d take you to her apartment and make dinner for you. Her, Natsu, Happy and you would also play card games to get your mind off of everything.

Erza: Erza would try to tell you that everything is okay, but she’d probably accidentally say it way too bluntly, inadvertantly upsetting you. “Why are you so upset over someone who clearly doesn’t care about you?” And then have to find a way to make it up to you, most likely in the form of sweets. She isn’t heartless, and apologizes for coming off as brash.

Wendy: She would 100% cry with you. While she may not have much advice on this situation, Wendy would be the one there for you to hug and cry with.

Laxus: Laxus is another one who is pretty blunt when it comes to giving advice. He’d tell you the same thing Erza did, but wouldn’t apologize. He’d shrug and say “you can either be upset that they’re bailin’ on you, or you could spend time here with people who actually care for ya.”

Gajeel: Gajeel would sing you a song and play guitar. He thinks he is doing a great job of cheering you up, but in reality your poor ears hurt and you smile because the gesture is sweet. He’d also ask if you wanted to go for a walk to get some air.

Sting: Sting would pepper you in compliments to cheer you up. Did you make food today? “Wow angel, you’re the best cook ever!” “Hey, thanks for picking that item up. You’re the best.” Anything you could do, he’d find a way to compliment you for it. When you finally confront him over the constant compliments, he’d shrug and tell you “you looked real sad, so I figured I’d tell ya that you’re appreciated with everything you do.”

- ©2024 moongirlcleo do not repost, copy, translate, or modify

[unactive-shroom]

Hello im really sorry i only saw your post today🙁 you can ignore this since its already nov 4th but can i request sal fisher with prompt 1 and 3? (Maybe 6 but thats optional) thank you!

A.n: Im sorry I missed out on this request last event, so I thought I’d do something small for you now to get in the Valentine’s mood <3 Hope you enjoy! Feel free to request something from the current event too, I know that this is super short!

⇒ 100% had been preparing for Valentine’s since CHRISTMAS

⇒ He’s never experienced it before, and he wants to make sure he does everything right

⇒ He's stressing out, asking Larry and Todd about what he should do, reading romance novels, even magazines with advice

⇒ Like he is genuinely so nervous, doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating for

⇒ He also learns your favourite song and plays it for you, borrowing his Dad's old acoustic guitar if it's a softer song

⇒ He genuinely has the sweetest singing voice too like wtf

⇒ He gets you a very traditional gift - A bouquet of your favourite flowers and a hand written card with the sweetest message ever in it - and after school you probably go over to his place

Placing the heart-shaped cookies that you had baked for Sal on the kitchen counter, you bounced over to the couch where Sal was busy trying to connect VCR player to the tv. “Wow, Sal, you’re really going all out for today, huh?” you say as you relax on the couch, opening one of the many bags of chips that Sal had prepared on the coffee table. “I’m not over doing it, am I? I just want today to be perfect for you, I don’t know if-” - you shush him before he can finish his thought. “It’s perfect, Sal. I couldn’t ask for more.”

Check out the Valentine's event Here

[olderthannetfic]

I do think the disclaimers from authors about NOT ENDORSING!!!! certain behaviors in fics is pretty funny, but I’ll admit I do it too. Oddly I only put warnings for abuse of the self, not the abuse of others. I write a fair bit of fic that “romanticizes” (or seems like it does) suicide/self harm/eating disorders to the point where it can almost be a tutorial of how to do it if I’m graphic enough. So in those I normally just add dead dove tags and put a disclaimer about how the trigger warning is no joke and you shouldn’t do the things that the characters do in the fic. It’s not like a Lifetime Movie end credits where the authors note is filled with hotlines and stuff, just a quick little note that, hey, yeah, if you’re considering this, don’t do it.

Oddly, I don’t think that behavior comes from fandom itself but rather from a completely different corner of the internet — when I struggled with the same stuff that I write about, it was pretty common for everyone’s bio to say that they “don’t promote” or they’re “not pro” and I guess old habits die hard. (Whether or not certain types of depression/SH/ana blogs etc really DONT promote or those words are just a please-don’t-ban-me card is a completely different discussion.)

It’s pretty ironic actually because when I’m on the other side of things (as the reader), reading about it is really cathartic in fic, but triggering (not in a fun way) in “real” books. Like there’s several books I had to DNF or shelf because it got to be too much, but oddly enough fic actually helps me a lot.

WOW that was all way heavier than I intended to get when I first started typing this ask! But yeah, that’s my own personal relationship to “I do not endorse” and I didn’t realize how odd it actually is until I started reading some of these other asks! I don’t think any type of “this is bad, actually” authors note is ever necessary honestly, but I also don’t think they’re that big of a deal — if a note from the writer about how they’re ~totally against the “bad” thing they’re writing about~ really takes you out of the fic that much, I don’t understand that either…it’d be one thing if they rambled on and on but even then I don’t think it’s that big of a deal 🤣 Annoying maybe but no one is required to read the AN.

My general threshold is “would a movie/podcast/real™️ book have a similar Viewer Discretion Adviced notice? If so, your A/N is likely fine and not virtual signal-ly or OTT at all.”

--

Heh. I think you're assuming a very different type of PSA from what other people are.

From what I've read, self-harm, suicide, and disordered eating are some of the topics that are a bit Monkey See, Monkey Do. Even support group discussions may increase the desire to cut, for example. It's still not 1:1, and we should be able to make art about serious topics, but a PSA doesn't feel totally absurd here. There are plenty of scientific studies showing measurable increases in people hurting themselves IRL after consuming certain material. Even if you did include a hotline, most people's objection is like "That number isn't valid for where I live", not "No one should ever do this".

I think if you polled people, you'd find that many of the PSA-haters are actually totally fine with "Hey, this fic contains serious depictions of mental illness. Make sure you're up for that today." and similar warnings.

But what people are actually talking about in 99% of "PSAs suck" discussions is rape fantasies.

Some clown writes a fic that is blatant fap material for people who like bodice ripper ravishment, and then they plaster it with "Rape Fantasies Bad" commentary that shows that they're judging themselves and their readers in a puritanical way that's a mega-buzzkill, completely out of keeping with the tone of the fic, and completely out of keeping with the actual scientific evidence.

Rape fantasies are commonplace and not a big deal, and to the extent that any depictions are demonstrably harmful, it's things like mainstream Hollywood movies reinforcing very standard cultural narratives, not somebody's sex pollen fic that's probably full of "It's so wrong, so why is it so hot???" anyway.

[ohii-san]

UNKNOWN HOLY NIGHT AND NIGHTHEAD - BLACK CAROL 2

( A few days later )

Tomoya: Yaaawnnn, uu…

Mitsuru: Hmm~... I want that!

Aira: Sounds like Tenma-senpai, alright. I’d like this one…

Tomoya: Mm? What’re they doing?

Good morning. Mitsuru and Shiratori’s faces are pressed/huddled up together, what are you two up to?

Mitsuru: Ah. Tomo-chan, good morning~. I’m looking at flyers with Ai-chan right now!

Tomoya: Flyers for what?

Aira: Good morning. For a toy store– There was an ad in my mailbox this morning. There’s lots of toys featured in the Christmas special!

I’m not at the age where I’ll be getting toys anymore, but a flyer with lots of toys in it is always exciting no matter how old you are… Tenma-senpai and I both got excited over it.

Tomoya: Ahaha. I understand, I understand. It’s always fun to look.

Mitsuru: “This is something I wanted when I was a kid, and these are the kind of things I’d like now”... That’s what Ai-chan and I were talking about.

Tomoya: Hmm~. Lemme take a look. Ah. As I figured, game consoles have always been popular. I also asked Santa for one every year.

Ahh. This is something I wanted as a kid but I never got to get it. And I got this one from Santa once!~

Aira: Many of Mashiro-senpai’s picks are classics. I feel like you’re very consistent and easy to understand.

Tomoya: Is that so? I guess I’m really not an adventurous kind of person.

Mitsuru: Hey Tomo-chan. Doesn’t this look like a toy from a long time ago?

Tomoya: Nn? Now that you mention it, I think I did used to play with that way back when.

Wow, but now there’s shining lights, and it makes noise. The latest ones are so flashy, huh~?

Aira: Nn~♪ Looking at gift flyers like that makes me antsy! It’s almost Christmas ♪

Mitsuru: Juuust~ a fewww~ more niiights~ until Christmas!

Tomoya: Ahaha. That’s true~. After all, as December approaches, I also start to feel kinda restless…

–Oops! I’ve gotta leave the dorm soon.

Aira: You're off to work?

Tomoya: Mhm. I have a photoshoot this morning and a meeting in the afternoon. I have to go soon.

Mitsuru: That’s a shame, I wanted to talk more~!

Well then, go ahead, Tomo-chan!

Aira: See you!

Tomoya: Take care!

( That afternoon )

Tomoya: (I’m glad~...! The shoot went better than I had expected it to! I knew it was the right call to ask for Narukami-senpai’s advice beforehand.)

(My work for the morning went well, but… After I eat I’ll have a meeting about the contents of the “Shuffle Project” in the afternoon~...)

(I’m worried, what kind of project will it be…?)

Sigh~... mogumogu…

(I wonder if I’m gonna be able to get along well with the other members…)

Hinata: Yahoo~! Tomo-kun, thank you for your hard work!

Tomoya: Nn? … Ah, It’s Hinata. Thanks for your hard work.

Hinata: Are you having lunch? So am I. Can I join you?

Tomoya: Mhm, go ahead. I’ve just started eating too.

Hinata: Thank you ♪ What to order~...?

Alright, I’m in the mood for some pork cutlet curry today!

Tomoya: That was quick~. You always make quick decisions– it’s pretty refreshing to watch.

Hinata: Fufufu~. I wanna take good care of my intuition, you know! ☆

Ah. That reminds me, I heard something~! Tomo-kun. That “Shuffle Project” of yours. So they reached out to the wrong members mistakenly?

Tomoya: That’s right! I really thought I was in the same unit as Hajime and the others! The shock after so much joy was just too much…!

Hinata: Ahaha. I feel sorry for you, Tomo-kun, but it was a pretty amusing situation to hear about.

Tomoya: You… Just because it’s not your problem to deal with~...

Tomoya: All the members are my seniors, so I have to be mindful.

I’m somewhat used to Akehoshi-senpai and Fushimi-senpai, but I feel like the others are all pretty quirky…

Hinata: Uh-oh. My vice prez is on pretty high guard too, huh~?

But I think I understand. ♪

Tomoya: Even ES said they’d give us support, but… considering the circumstances, no matter how you think about it, it’s totally just meant to give us some peace of mind!

Hinata: Mhm, still, I do really feel sorry for you. But, y’know, doesn’t that also depend on the project? Have you even decided what kind of project it’s gonna be? 

Tomoya: No. We just met face to face the other day. I heard we’ll have a meeting about the project now.

Hinata: Hmm. Is that so. Then, from here on out, the outcome of Tomo-kun’s fate shall be decided…

Tomoya: You find my misfortune amusing!?

Hinata: Ahahaha ☆ I’m just looking forward to seeing what kind of “Shuffle Project” Tomo-kun’s unit will come up with!

Hinata: It’s okay! Give it your best shot, Tomo-kun! If it all falls apart, I’ll pick up the pieces for ya! ♪

[simmerdowndee]

THE FOXBURY FILES EPISODE FIVE: A DIFFERENT PATH

Micah and I have been spending a lot of time together since our date. We technically still haven’t set an official label for ourselves. I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda getting antsy. I kinda need to know if we’re just gonna hook up forever or if i’m actually his girlfriend. It's been a few months… I have a feeling part of the reason he hasn’t asked me is because I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship when we first met…. 

I’m currently passing all my classes, but I am not enjoying this major at all. I really don’t know what to do. On one hand, I don’t want to disappoint my dad, but I also don’t want to suffer through this for another 3 years. 

Today we have a guest speaker on campus. He’s also a Foxury alum and I thought it would be nice to get his advice after the presentation. 

Tori: Wow, he’s so beautiful.  Blake: He is.  Tori: Ugh, he has a wedding ring.  Blake: Yes, his wife is here with him.  Tori: She’s so lucky. He’s such an inspiration.  Blake: Are you a fangirl or something? Tori: He’s so smart and he speaks very well. I’m going to buy his book when it hits the shelves. Blake: Oh here he comes.  Tori: I’m going to head to the commons. Tell me how it goes and if he smells good.  Blake: *Laughs* Blake: Mr. Grove. Theo: Hi. Nice to meet you.  Blake: My name is Blake. I wanted to ask you for some advice if that’s okay? Theo: Sure, let's walk and talk. My wife is hungry so I'm on my way out soon.  Blake: I’ll be quick.  Blake: How did you know you wanted to work in tech? What really sold it for you?

Theo: I’ve always loved technology and computers. My dad used to get me old computers to see if I could get them up and running again. 

Theo: It sounds like you’re questioning your degree? Blake: I don’t think economics is for me. I don’t enjoy learning any of the course material. I hate studying for it. It just sucks…

Theo: You’re a freshman, right? You still have time to change your major. Dakota: That’s the other problem… my dad.  Theo: Ah. I see.  Theo: Dad wants this for you because he doesn’t believe in your preferred major? Blake: Wow, you are pretty good.  Theo: *Laughs* Theo: I’ve seen this many times while speaking at other universities. 

Theo: You should study your career of choice. Your dad isn't going to have to make a career in your field, you are. 

Blake: How do I tell him and then get him to agree? He thinks communication is a waste.

Theo: Prove to him it's not. 

Wow, he’s pretty food with words. No wonder Tori is a fan girl. 

Blake: Thank you, Mr. Grove. 

Theo: Anytime.  Theo: It was nice chatting with you. I can see from here my wife is becoming hangry. Blake: Enjoy your lunch!

I think I'm going to take his advice and finally tell my dad I am switching my major. I want to complete the degree of my choice and choose my own career path… I just hope he doesn’t get too mad….

[nijigasakilove]

Yea kinda figured with that new key visual they dropped yesterday that angst levels would be turnt up to the max and honestly I’m enjoying it. I think this is great for Hibike and keeps things interesting. Reina and Shuichi having blow up is exactly the type of drama I’m looking for lol. Gimme all that teenager drama!

Reina has been a massive asshole these last two episodes because of her love for Taki sensei. No one is just gonna blindly follow him anymore besides her especially when the first years haven’t seen the results that they had last year. I get that he doesn’t wanna seem weak or indecisive in front of the students, but I still think he could’ve communicated a lot better with the club members who weren’t selected. Maybe some constructive feedback or areas to improve? I was hoping Kumiko would’ve straight up asked without thinking why he picked Mayu for the soli, sadly not.

Actually surprised to see Kumiko and Reina on speaking terms so quickly after Reina called Kumiko a failed president.. guess these girls heal like wolverine lmao. Scene by the river was beautiful, and Reina actually made a good point. The people who weren’t chosen are only gonna be satisfied if they’re chosen. Buut at the same time, I’d feel a lot better knowing what I need to improve on. Whether it’s my rhythm, timing, endurance etc. when you just get rejected and not told what the issue is it lets you get trapped in your mind. As someone who’s had many grad school rejections, I can really empathise with these kids.

As always, who can you turn into when there’s trouble at Kitauji? Asuka senpai! Kyoani definitely cooked with her design today too. Wow she was gorgeous but now she’s divine.. nice fanservice too. Pretty sure according to the spin off LN she and Kaori are together too, right? Her thinking that Reina and Kumiko had a lover’s quarrel is so funny because even characters in the story getting Yuri baited 😂

That aside, even after leaving the school she’s still the steadying hand that can help guide things back to order. Her advice was really able to help Kumiko get her focus back and smooth things over at the end of the episode. Her speech to the club gave me goosebumps. What’s done is done the executives apologised and explained why they went with the audition method and now it’s time to move forward, as a unit. Kitauji fight!

Really sucks there’s only a few episodes left I really want some anime original stuff after 😭

[pintsizemama]

Chestnuts

Day 4

Summary: Marcus & Peanut roast chestnuts with Grandma.

Pairings: Marcus Pike x You, Marcus Pike x Female Reader (Peanut)

Fandom: The Mentalist

Rating: Mature

Warnings: language, discussions of sex and blow jobs

Word Count: 1,027

Marcus & Peanut Masterlist

Day 3 Day 5 Christmas Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

“Is this too many?” You asked your grandmother, gesturing to the vast amount of chestnuts on the kitchen counter.

“Might not be enough,” Grandma replied. ‘This has always been a family favorite—for both families.” She looked at Marcus who nodded in agreement. A couple hours ago you and Marcus had ”come out” to your families about your new relationship. Needing a break from all the questions and advice, you both had volunteered to help Grandma make her famous roasted chestnuts. She added butter and honey to them which made it an irresistible holiday snack. The three of you sat together at the kitchen island and worked in quiet peace. It was a nice change from all the chatter you had to deal with today.

“I think the first two batches are ready to go in,” Grandma told Marcus. He dutifully stood up and carried two trays to the oven. You couldn’t help but stare at him in awe. He was so beautiful and finally all yours.

“You’re drooling, dear,” Grandma said with a chuckle. You rolled tour eyes at her playfully. Marcus placed a kiss on the top of your head just before retaking his seat next to you.

“How’d you know about us, Grandma?” You asked. “The other day when we were baking cookies…you already knew we were together. How?’”

“It was very clear,” Grandma answered. “The two of you have always been obvious in your ‘secret’ feelings for each other, but there was always a…tension there. Something missing. Like two magnets being forced apart even though all they wanted, their entire purpose in life was to be together. The other day, that tension wasn’t there anymore. So, I knew you had finally admitted your love for each other.”

“Wow,” you whispered.

“I didn’t realize how transparent we were,” Marcus said quietly.

“Apparently not to each other,” you laughed.

“True,” Marcus agreed. “I’m just glad we finally got on the same page.”

“Me too,” you whispered.

“Me too,” Grandma chimed in. “Now make me the happiest old lady in Seattle and give me some great-grand babies!”

“Gonna need some time before that, Grandma,” you chided playfully.

“Yeah, but we can definitely practice until we’re ready…a lot,” Marcus added.

“Marcus Pike!” You scolded. He just smiled and kissed you softly.

“Ugh! Gross!” John shouted as he walked into the kitchen. “Can you please refrain from mauling my baby sister when I’m in the house?” Marcus pulled away and laughed.

“John, you are such a fucking cock block!” You groaned at him.

“Just payback for that time I snuck Janie Stevens over the night Mom and Dad were out of town,” John said with an evil grin.

“That was years ago!” You scoffed. “You were in high school You can’t still be pissed about that!”

“Yes I can!” John argued. “She refused to go out with me again after that! I only ever got to second base with her, and the rumor was she gave the best head in school.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I stopped your oversexed teenage self from getting into yet another girl’s pants in high school,” you said sarcastically. “It’s not like she was the only girl willing to sleep with you. You were—and still are—a massive manwhore.”

“If I remember correctly,” Marcus chimed in, “you did sleep with Janie our first summer home from college. Even got her to give you one of her famously great blow jobs.”

“Ha!” You shouted. “Look at that. No need to be pissed at me since you did get—wait, Marcus.” You turned to your boyfriend. “How do you know her blow jobs are great? Have you slept with Janie?” Marcus’s eyes widened. John laughed at his friend’s discomfort.

“No, Peanut, I never slept with Janie,” Marcus said. You knew he was feeling the truth, but it was slightly off.

“What about a blow job?” You pressed.

“Huh?” Marcus dodged the question.

“Ok, let me rephrase that,” you said. “Has Janie Stevens’ nasty lips been anywhere near your cock?”

“Oh man,” John couldn’t stop laughing. “This is so much better than stopping you two from kissing.”

“Sweetheart,” Marcus began.

“Don’t you ‘sweetheart’ me, Marcus Pike,” you said sternly. You were trying hard not to laugh at the panic in his eyes. You wouldn’t be able to keep up this angry facade long. “Did you let her blow you?”

“We were teenagers!” Marcus said defensively. “It meant nothing. She blew everyone!” You burst out laughing. John fell to the ground he was laughing so hard. Even Grandma was chuckling.

“What the hell?” Marcus asked in shock. “You were fucking with me?”

“Of course I was!” You laughed. “Marcus, you’ve been married and engaged. Obviously you’ve had sex with women other than me. I’m well aware you have a past. Just like me.” He scowled at that.

“I don’t wanna think about that, Peanut,” he said darkly. You just smiled.

“The past doesn’t matter, my sweet Marcus,” you said softly, cupping his face. “All that matters is our present and future, my love.” He smiled and kissed your palm.

“For the record,” Marcus told you, “you give way better head than Janie Stevens.” You ignored the gagging sounds John was making and blushed as you remembered the quick blow job you had given him last night when you both managed to sneak away after midnight mass. That wasn’t even close to your best work. You looked forward to showing him just how talented you were once you got back to DC. Just then the timer dinged.

“First batch is done!” Grandma announced.

“Yes!” John cheered. “That’s why I came in here. To beat everyone else to the chestnuts. Didn’t expect to get an x-rated comedy show out of it.”

“X-rated?” Marcus laughed. “That wasn’t even close to how x-rated we can get.”

“I do NOT want to hear that,” John said immediately.

“Then don’t piss me off, or I’ll tell you exactly what I do to your baby sister!” Marcus countered.

“Oh my god,” you groaned.

“Boys never really do grow up, do they dear?” Grandma said fondly.

“I guess not,” you agreed.

Day 5

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[lingthusiasm]

Transcript Episode 86: Revival, reggaeton, and rejecting unicorns - Basque interview with Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordóñez

This is a transcript for Lingthusiasm episode ‘Revival, reggaeton, and rejecting unicorns - Basque interview with Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordóñez'. It’s been lightly edited for readability. Listen to the episode here or wherever you get your podcasts. Links to studies mentioned and further reading can be found on the episode show notes page.

[Music]

Gretchen: Welcome to Lingthusiasm, a podcast that’s enthusiastic about linguistics! I’m Gretchen McCulloch. I’m here with Dr. Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordóñez who’s an Assistant Professor at California State University, Long Beach, USA, and a native speaker of Basque and Spanish. Today, we’re getting enthusiastic about new speakers and language revitalisation. But first, some announcements. Thank you to everyone who helped share Lingthusiasm with a friend or on social media for our seventh anniversary. We still have a few days left to fill out our Lingthusiasm listener’s survey for the year, so follow the link in the description to tell us more about what you’d like to see on the show and do some fun linguistics experiments. This month’s bonus episode was a special anniversary advice episode in which we answered some of your pressing linguistics questions including helping friends become less uptight about language, keeping up with interesting linguistics work from outside the structure of academia, and interacting with youth slang when you’re no longer as much of a youth. Go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm to get access to this bonus advice episode, many more bonus episodes, and to help keep the show running.

[Music]

Gretchen: Hello, Itxaso, welcome to the show!

Itxaso: Hi! It’s so good to be here. I feel so honoured because we use so many of your episodes in our linguistic courses. For me, being here is exciting.

Gretchen: Hello to Itxaso and also to Itxaso’s students who may be listening to this episode.

Itxaso: I dunno if I want them to find this episode, though. [Laughter]

Gretchen: They’re gonna find it. Let’s start with the question that we ask all of our guests, which is, “How did you get interested in linguistics?”

Itxaso: I feel like, for me, it was a little bit accidental – or at least, that’s how you felt at that time. I grew up in a household that we spoke Basque, but my grandparents didn’t speak Basque. My parents spoke it as non-native speakers. They were new speakers. They learnt it in adulthood, and they made me native. But I was told all my life, “You speak weird. You are different. You’re using this and that.” Later on, I was told that, “Oh, you’re so good at English. You should become an English teacher because you can make a lot of money.” And I thought, “Oh, yeah, well, that doesn’t sound bad.” When I went to undergrad, I started taking linguistic courses, and then I went on undergraduate study abroad thanks to a professor that we had at the university, Jon Franco. That’s where I realised, “Wait a minute. All of these things that I’ve been feeling about inadequate, they have an explanation.”

Gretchen: So, people were telling you that your Basque wasn’t good.

Itxaso: Yeah.

Gretchen: Even though you’re the hope and the fruition of all of this Basque language revitalisation. Your parents went to all this effort to learn Basque and teach you Basque, and yet someone’s telling you your Basque is bad.

Itxaso: Absolutely. You know, people wouldn’t tell you straight to your face, “Your Basque is really bad,” but there was all these very subtle ways of feeling about it, or they would correct you, and you were like, “Hmm, why do they correct it when the person next to me is using the same structure, but they don’t get corrected.” As a kid, I was sensitive to that, and then I realised, “Wow, there’re theories about this.”

Gretchen: That’s so exciting. It’s so nice to have “Other people have experienced this thing, and they’ve come up with a name and a label for what’s going on.”

Itxaso: It’s also interesting that as a kid I did also feel a little bit ashamed of my parents, who’re actually doing what language revitalisation wants to be done. You want to become active participants. But I remember when my parents would speak Basque to me, they had a different accent. They had a Spanish accent. I was like, “Ugh, whatever.” Sometimes it would cringe my ears; I have to admit that. As a kid, I was in these two worlds of, okay, I am proud and ashamed at the same time of what is happening.

Gretchen: And the other kids, when you were growing up, they were speaking Basque, too?

Itxaso: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I grew up in Gernika, right, and we have our own regional variety. I remember on the playground sometimes they would tell me, “Oh, you sound like the kids in the cartoons.”

Gretchen: So, you’re speaking this formal, standard Basque that your parents had learned as second language learners, and the other kids are still speaking the regional variety of Basque but hadn’t gone through the standardisation process and become the one that’s in the media.

Itxaso: Correct. My first variety was actually this standardised variety that nobody spoke when it was created in the ’60s. My parents learnt this in their 20s, and then that’s the variety that I was exposed to at home. But then you go in the street, and they’re like, “Oh, you sound like Doraemon,” because that’s what we watched.

Gretchen: The character in the cartoon, yeah.

Itxaso: Yeah, in the cartoon. It was like, “Oh, okay, do I? All right.” Then I started picking up the regional variety.

Gretchen: Right. You pick up the regional variety as well from the kids. Then what did your parents think of that if they think they’re speaking the fancy one?

Itxaso: Oh, my goodness. It was absolutely hilarious because my mom, she always thought that the Standard Basque is the correct way because that’s the one that you learnt in the school, so she did have this idea that literacy makes this language important. You know, for Basque revitalisation, that’s important. But I remember we were at home, and she would correct me because, for instance, as any spoken language, you would also shorten certain words. She would always say, “Oh, that’s not how you say it. You’re supposed to say this full word. You have to pronounce the entire word.” Then I said, “But Mom, everybody else uses this other variation,” especially with verbs, which are a little bit complicated, right. Then she would say, “Oh, Itxaso, you know what? I gave you this beautiful Basque, and then you went out to the school, and they ruined it all for you.” Then in order to come back, I would tell her, “Mom, but I am the native speaker here.” So, these tensions of who is right.

Gretchen: Who is the real Basque speaker, who is the best Basque speaker, and in this context where, in theory, your goals should be aligned because you’re all trying to revitalise Basque, and in theory, you all have the same goal, and yet, you’re getting criticism from different sides, and people are criticising different groups in this – but in theory, you have the same goals.

Itxaso: I think growing up in this paradox of I’m also criticising my mother, who actually, thanks to her, I get this language. In the revitalisation process, I think this negotiation is fascinating that you’re constantly being exposed to.

Gretchen: Constantly being exposed to all these different language ideologies around what is good, what is not good. You went to university, and you started encountering linguistic words for these experiences that you had. What were some of those words?

Itxaso: Some of these words I remember was this “standard language ideology,” that the idea or, in a way, that the standards are constructs that don’t exist. And I was thinking, “Wait a minute, in my language, we have a very clear standard.” We actually have a name for it. We call it “Unified Basque,” or “Euskara Batua.”

Gretchen: “Batua.”

Itxaso: “Batua” means “unified.” It’s associated with a kind of speaker. These are speakers that, like my parents, learned Basque through the schooling system, which today is actually the majority of the Basque-speaking population, at least on the Spanish side. “Standard language ideology” – I was thinking, “What is that? Oh, okay, it’s the thought that we have that these standards exist. How do I make sense of that?” I remember when I was in college, the term “heritage speaker” was thrown a lot.

Gretchen: “Heritage speaker” of Basque. Are you a “heritage speaker” of Basque?

Itxaso: I don’t consider myself a heritage speaker of Basque because – so I have Basque heritage, yes, and no. My dad’s side of the family is from Spain as well, but they also grew up in the Basque Country. This comes also with the last name. Do I have Basque heritage? Yes. But I think our connections with language are a little bit more complicated than the ethnicity per se. It’s like, we have this saying that says that it is Basque who speaks Basque. That was this poet, Joxean Artze, that we used to hear a lot during the revitalisation process. The question is, “What kind of Basque?”

Gretchen: Yeah, like, “Who is Basque enough to speak Basque?” And your parents speak Basque, but your grandparents didn’t speak Basque anymore, but if you go far enough back in your ancestry, somebody spoke Basque. But who counts –

Itxaso: But – yeah. My grandparents didn’t speak Basque. Their parents – maybe they had some knowledge. I dunno how far along. What we do know is that the region where my grandparents grew up in, Basque was already in the very advanced stages of language shift. Also, my grandparents were born in the civil war, so speaking Basque was probably not – it could get you killed.

Gretchen: Yeah. Which is a great reason to say, “Hey, you know what.”

Itxaso: Right. Then later on, this paradox is coming into play. As a 5-year-old kid, you’re not aware that your grandpa, you know, could have been killed if they spoke our language, but at the same time, my dad’s side of the family also was going through some kind of shame because he learnt the language as an adult, and he became in love with the language. This idea of heritage – do you need to be a heritage to be part of the language? It was a little more complicated than that. When I asked my mom, “Why do you learn the language?”, for her, she was always, “Because my identity now is complete.” But for my dad, it wasn’t the same reason.

Gretchen: Why did you dad learn Basque?

Itxaso: My dad learned Basque because after the dictator died, the revitalisation was very important, and there were a lot of jobs.

Gretchen: Ah, so just economic reasons.

Itxaso: For him, it was pure economics. Then, you know what, if I learn Basque, I’m gonna have more opportunities to have a government job, and a government job is a good job. Then after that, throughout the time, he actually became even more in love with the language, more invested in the revitalisation. He also did a lot of these – bertsolaritza is this oral poetry that we have. It has a very, very long oral tradition in the Basque Country. He read a lot of literature. He taught Basque in the school system. He was also invested in teaching Basque to immigrants as well because he felt like an immigrant himself as well.

Gretchen: And this question of who has Basque heritage, if you’re an immigrant to Basque Country, you are becoming part of that heritage as well.

Itxaso: Yes.

Gretchen: It’s an interesting example of how economic and social and cultural things can really work together for something, like, being able to get a job doing something can allow you to fall in love with it.

Itxaso: Yes, yes.

Gretchen: Or it can be hard to stay in love with something if there’s no way to support yourself while doing it.

Itxaso: Absolutely. I remember that he was always invested in these processes. I have to admit that – now I’m gonna be a little picky again because these ideologies sometimes don’t always fully go – you know, we still have these biases – my dad’s fluency and also competency became stronger and stronger, and then he started to also speak like locals, little by little.

Gretchen: Okay, you know, this standard, unified Basque – he’s like, “Well, maybe I’ll talk like the other local people.”

Itxaso: I remember that my mom was very clear, especially in the beginning – I dunno if she feels that way anymore – that the standard is the correct one. I don’t think my dad did have so many overt ideas about it. For him, in the beginning, it was instrumental, “It’s gonna give me a good job,” and then he fell in love. And then it’s like, “Now, I have to go to the richness” – sometimes he would say that – “of the dialects of the traditions.” But he didn’t have this heritage Basque. He was born in rural Spain, and his parents moved to the Basque Country for economic reasons.

Gretchen: And he sort of fell in love with it anyway. What’s it like for you – because you live in the US now – doing research with Basque and trying to stay in touch with your Basque identity despite not living in the Basque Country?

Itxaso: For me, I have to admit that, again, I came to the United States thinking that I’m going to be an English teacher when I come back. I said, “I’m gonna do my master’s, and then I’m gonna go back to the Basque Country, and I’m gonna teach English.” Uh-uh, no.

Gretchen: Okay.

Itxaso: I realised that the farther I am from home, the more I wanted to understand the processes or how I felt as a kid because I realised, “Wait a minute, I can find answers to the shame and pride that I had growing up.” I was also ashamed of my grandparents that they didn’t know Basque because when he would take me to the park, right, I knew that people would talk with him. I would just go, instead of him looking at me whether I am falling off from the swing, I was checking on him to see who was gonna talk with him because I was ready to do the translation work for him.

Gretchen: Oh, okay, if he can’t talk to the other parents or grandparents or whatever, then you’re like, “Oh, here, Grandad, let me translate for you.”

Itxaso: Yep. Then I remember that I’d think, “Hey, I’m teaching him Basque. He’s practicing, right?” Every Sunday he would come, you know, to our hometown and, before going to the park, I made him study Basque. He was so bad at it. Like, terrible at it. It was very hard for him, and he would tell me, “But Itxaso, why are you doing this to me? I didn’t even go to school.” I mean, he didn’t have much schooling even in Spanish. I said, “Don’t worry. If you’re Basque, you have to speak Basque.” Those were some of the – and I was 5 or 6. I was so happy, right. At the same time, I had this very strong attachment to him but also internalised shame that in my family intergenerational transmission was stopped. As a 5-year-old kid, you don’t understand civil war – yet. [Laughter]

Gretchen: I hope not.

Itxaso: When I went to graduate school, I realised, “Wait a minute, my teachers were correcting me all the time.” I had this internalised shame that exercised, right. I was told that sometimes I wasn’t Basque enough; sometimes I was being seen as a real Basque. So, what’s happening? This is when I realised that sociolinguistics, which is the field of study that I do, became very therapeutical to me.

Gretchen: You can work through your issues or your family issues and your language issues by giving them names and connecting them with other people who’ve had similar experiences like, “Oh, I’m not alone in having this shame and these feelings.”

Itxaso: Absolutely. And that there were many of us. There were a lot of Spanish speakers in my classroom who, maybe they didn’t have literacy in Spanish, or they had similar encounters of feelings, and I said, “Wait a minute, so we’re not that weird,” and understanding that, in fact, this is quite common. Or there were also speakers of other language revitalisation contexts that I thought, “Oh, wait a minute, I thought we were this isolate case,” and you’re thinking, “No, we have similar feelings of inadequacy, but at the same time, pride.” I used the world of linguistics in general to understand these patterns and also to heal in some way.

Gretchen: No, it’s important.

Itxaso: I almost had a little bit of a rebel attitude in some ways. For me, it was like, “Ha ha! I got you now!”

Gretchen: Like, “You don’t need to make me feel shame anymore because I have linguistics to fight you with!”

Itxaso: There we go! “And now, I’m gonna go back with my dissertation. I’m gonna make sure that you understand that YOU are the one wrong and not me, and that when you correct me, I am also judging you.”

Gretchen: Does it work very well to show people your dissertation and tell them that they’re wrong?

Itxaso: No. [Laughter] Absolutely not.

Gretchen: I was gonna say, if you said this was working, it’s like, “Wow! You’re the first person that I know who wrote a dissertation and everyone admitted that they were wrong.”

Itxaso: Yeah, but then you have this hope.

Gretchen: Yeah.

Itxaso: Then I realised, okay, well, this is my therapeutic portfolio, basically.

Gretchen: At least you know in your heart that you are valid. So, you don’t like the word “heritage speaker,” which I think “heritage speaker” does work for – we don’t wanna say, “No one is a heritage speaker” – but for you in your context, that doesn’t feel like it resonates with you. What is a term that resonates with you for your context?

Itxaso: For me, it resonates more – I consider myself a native speaker of Basque, or my first language is definitely Basque. We have a term for that in the Basque Country, “euskaldun zahar,” and it literally means – “euskal” means “Basque,” “dun” means that you have it, and “zahar” means “old.”

Gretchen: You have the “Old Basque.”

Itxaso: Yeah, you have the Old Basque, which is associated with the dialects or the regional varieties. It has nothing to do with age.

Gretchen: Okay. You’re not an old Basque speaker as in you’re a senior citizen with grey hair, you’re a speaker of Old Basque.”

Itxaso: Mm-hmm.

Gretchen: Compared to a “New Basque” speaker?

Itxaso: There we go. Mm-hmm. A New Basque speaker, right, which we also have a Basque term for that, right, it actually means that you started it in more new times, which for us is associated with the revitalisation.

Gretchen: That’s like your parents.

Itxaso: Exactly. My parents consider themselves “new” speakers of Basque, and the Basque word for that is “euskaldun berri.”

Gretchen: “euskaldun berri.” So, this is “speaker of New Basque” or – and the idea of someone being a new speaker of a revitalised language in general where you learned it in adulthood and maybe you’re trying to pass it onto your kids and give them the opportunities they didn’t have, but you have these challenges that are unique to new speakers.

Itxaso: Absolutely. And oftentimes has to do with the idea of how authentic you are. This is something that is being negotiated, right – these negotiations we’re having in our household. When my mom said, “I know the correct Basque,” and I would basically implicitly tell her, when I was telling her, “But I know the authentic one.” Because of that, those similarly wider ideologies, right, this is how my parents also, little by little, they were able to sprinkle their Standard Basque with some regional “flavour,” as we call it, right. They would change their verbs, and they would start sounding more like the regional dialects.

Gretchen: Are there different contexts in which people tend to use the Standard Basque versus the older Basque varieties, like either formal or informal contexts, writing, speaking, like, official contexts or intimate contexts? Are there some differences, sociolinguistically, in terms of how they get used?

Itxaso: Yeah. For somebody that, for instance, I consider myself also bi-dialectal in Basque in the sense that I speak the regional variety now even if my first variety was actually the standard. I use the Standard Basque to write. But that is only part of the mess or the beauty or the complexification because those people that started learning Standard Basque in the school, sometimes, they might feel that their standard is too rigid to be able to have these informal conversations. One of the things that a lot of new speakers of Basque are doing is, in fact, creating language.

Gretchen: To create an informal version of the standard. Because it’s one thing to speak it in a classroom or something, but if you’re going to go marry someone and raise children in this and you wanna be able to have arguments or tell someone you love them or this sort of stuff maybe this thing that’s very classroom associated is too fancy-feeling for that context.

Itxaso: The same way that they don’t wanna sound like the kids in the cartoons, like Doraemon, for instance. [Laughter]

Gretchen: That’s not how real people sound.

Itxaso: Knowing that a standard was necessary for our survival, for the language to survive, at least during those times, but at the same time, we need to get out of this rigidity that this standard might give us. The new speakers in many ways are the engineers of the language.

Gretchen: The original creation of Standard Basque in the 1980s was taking from all of these different regional varieties and coming up with a version that could be written, and you could have one Basque curriculum that all of the schools could use rather than each region trying to come up with its own curriculum, which is logistically challenging.

Itxaso: Absolutely. The Standard Basque was created, finally, in 1968, and little by little being introduced in the educational purposes. And the education in the ’80s, too, is when [exploding noise] bilingual schools skyrocketed, and the immersion programme became the most common one.

Gretchen: And this is immersion for kids, for adults, for everybody?

Itxaso: For kids. You start with kindergarten or, I dunno the terms here in the US, but 2- or 3-years-old, all throughout university. Of course, that went through different stages. Of course, there’s some degrees in university that might not be fully taught in Basque, but overall, little by little, I mean, in the past four years, a lot of that has been done.

Gretchen: What’s it like for you now going back to the Basque Country being like, “Wow, revitalisation is done. It’s complete. Everything is accomplished. We have nothing to worry about anymore.” Is this the case?

Itxaso: Absolutely not. There’s still debates going on. One of the big debates that have been talked – so we have sociolinguistic surveys that we wanna measure how successful is this standard, and what does that even mean. All the people who learned Basque in the schools, like my parents, are they actually using the language all the time? Or even if you grew up speaking Basque. The reality is that Basque revitalisation has been very successful in creating bilinguals. Most of the population, if you are 40 or younger – especially here I’m talking about the Basque Country in the Spanish side because the French side does not have the same governmental support that we do. The answer is that some surveys show that Basque is not as spoken as it is acquired.

Gretchen: People learn it in the schools in the immersion programmes, but then, the kids are playing on the playground, maybe they’re not using it as much, or you’re going into a store, and you’re buying some milk or something, and you’re not necessarily using Basque for these day-to-day interactions.

Itxaso: Correct. I remember when I was doing my own fieldwork and collecting data for my dissertation, I remember that I would ask people from the city because this is where the revitalisation was most impactful because this is where Basque was least spoken before the standard was implemented. That was a – oh, my goodness. There is this saying that we have that Basque is being used with children and dogs.

Gretchen: Okay. [Laughter]

Itxaso: And then I started to notice – and, you know, my sister, she uses Basque with her friends, but at home, she would use a lot of Basque with the dog that she got a few years ago. I was so surprised because then our interactions back home become more Spanish-dominant with time. I was like, “Oh, my goodness. Is this true?” I started to notice. In fact, some adults that would talk Basque to their children but also to the dogs, but later on, a lot of the adult interactions.

Gretchen: But then when you grow up, you use Spanish. You have this ideology of “Okay, well, it’s important for children to have Basque, but then you grow up and you put it away,” which doesn’t sound that great.

Itxaso: Meaning that the normalisation of Basque, it hasn’t started.

Gretchen: It has succeeded at some level, yeah.

Itxaso: Absolutely. But the work is not completely done yet. I don’t think it’s ever gonna be – I mean, when I say it’s never gonna done meaning that you always have new processes or new challenges. One thing that I did notice – so the last sociolinguistics survey showed two very interesting trends in the opposite direction. The first one was that new speakers, and especially young new speakers from the city, they’re starting to embrace Basque in their daily life interactions. They’re adopting the language and using it and engineering it and making it more informal. In fact, we have different standard Basques that are starting to emerge in one city, in Bilbao. Another one might be emerging in Vitoria-Gasteiz, which is the capital. And the other one – San Sebastián. There’s still a standard but with some flavours. People are documenting that. The other one is that in certain Basque-speaking regions or traditional speaking regions like my hometown, for instance, that the use of Basque among teenagers has actually dropped a little bit – slightly. I have noticed that, too, when I go back. I was thinking, “Why would that be? Why is it that teenagers might see” –

Gretchen: You have to think that Basque is cool as a teenager.

Itxaso: Exactly. I also noticed different kinds of trends. When I grew up in the ’90s, during my rebel times, we loved punk. We loved rock.

Gretchen: Was there Basque music in rock and punk and this sort of stuff?

Itxaso: Oh, my goodness, Berri Txarrak, which translates to “bad news.”

Gretchen: We should link to some Basque music in the shownotes so people can listen to it if they want.

Itxaso: We loved it. Little by little, more soft rock became more popular. This is still popular. But I noticed in the past five years or so that reggaetón is –

Gretchen: The young people are listening to reggaetón. Is there reggaetón in Basque?

Itxaso: That’s what we need, I think.

Gretchen: Okay. If there’re any reggaetón artists who are listening to this, and you speak Basque, this is your project.

Itxaso: I’m like – maybe there is. I’m not a big fan of reggaetón.

Gretchen: But it’s what the young people want. It’s not about you anymore.

Itxaso: Exactly. I do wanna hear some Basque – I know there is feminist reggaetón, but I haven’t heard Basque reggaetón as much.

Gretchen: Maybe someone will tell us about it.

Itxaso: Maybe it’s time to adjust to –

Gretchen: And to keep adapting because it’s not just like, “Oh, we have this one vision of what Basque culture looked like in the past, and you have to be connected to that thing specifically,” it’s that it evolves because it’s a living culture with what else is going on in the world.

Itxaso: Absolutely. This is where the making of what it means to be a speaker of a minority language also comes into play. I know that in many Indigenous language revitalisation processes hip hop music has been extremely important in the process of language revitalisation. Maybe we do need some Basque reggaetón.

Gretchen: All right. Sounds good. I’m sold. Basque is famous among linguists as being a language that’s spoken in Europe but that’s not ancestrally related to any of the other Indo-European languages. This makes it famous, but also, I dunno, how does this make you feel?

Itxaso: Aye yae yae yae yae. It makes me feel good and bad at the same time because it’s like, “Oh, you know about Basque? That’s awesome!”, but then, “Oh, we’re being told that this is what you know about Basque,” which is this “exotic” language, and I’m like, “No, no.” That’s the part that I’m like, “No, we’re normal, too.”

Gretchen: “We’re also just people who’re speaking a language trying to go about our lives.” It also has things that are in common with other language revitalisation contexts – I’m thinking of Gaelic and Irish in Scotland and Ireland and lots of Indigenous language contexts in the Americas, in Australia. There’s so many different places where there’s a language that’s been oppressed, and it’s hard to say what is Indigenous in the Spain-France context, but definitely big governments have said, “Oh, you should all be speaking Spanish,” “You should all be speaking French,” and you have to struggle to make this something that is recognised and funded and important and prestigious and all of this stuff.

Itxaso: Absolutely. And for the first time in the history of the Basque language, now we are considered a “modern” language – another stereotype that oftentimes – “Oh, you are such an old language!” And I’m thinking, “But we speak it today.”

Gretchen: It’s not only ancient speakers. There’s still modern people speaking Basque.

Itxaso: Yes, and we have a future. We can do Twitter. We can do Facebook. We can do social media.

Gretchen: You can do Reggaetón.

Itxaso: Reggaetón in Basque. We can do a lot of things in Basque. People associate us oftentimes with these ancient times from the lands of the Pyrenees and caves. I’m like, “Great.”

Gretchen: But you’re not living in caves now.

Itxaso: Exactly. And when they tell us, “Oh, you are this unique language and so weird,” and I’m like, “We’re not weird. We’re unique like any other language, but we also have similar processes.”

Gretchen: Ultimately, every language is descended from – like, languages are always created in contact with other people, so there’s this ancestral descendant from whatever people were speaking 100,000 years ago that we have no records of. Everything is ultimately connected to all of the other humans, even if we aren’t capable of currently tracing those relationships with what we have access to right now.

Itxaso: Even within among linguists, right, it has been debated – Basque has been compared to possibly every language family out there. Even Basque people, “Oh, we found a connection! Maybe we are connected to the languages of the Caucasus.” All Basque linguists just roll their eyes thinking, “Here we go again.”

Gretchen: “Here’s another one.”

Itxaso: This idea of also looking at the past has been very important to understand our existence, but also it’s important to understand that we have a future, and that one is going to form the other in many ways. When they say, “Oh, where is Basque coming from?”, I’m like, “I dunno if we’re ever gonna find that out.”

Gretchen: I dunno if that’s the most interesting question that we could be asking because it’s hard to have fossils of a language. Writing systems only go back so far, and the languages being spoken and signed much, much earlier than that, we just don’t know because they don’t leave physical traces in the air.

Itxaso: What is fascinating is that, so recently, there has been some evidence – they found some remains that, in fact, Basque was written before the standard or before when we thought. Initially, we know that the first Basque writings were names in tombs, in graveyards. Now, we actually have some evidence – or at least they found some evidence – that Basque might have been used for written purposes also and that the Iberian writing system was used for that. They’re still trying to decode.

Gretchen: Maybe we could link to a little bit of what that looks like if there’s some of that online, too.

Itxaso: It looks like a hand. The text looks like a hand, and there’re five words there. They have only been able to decode one word.

Gretchen: But they think that word is Basque?

Itxaso: Yes.

Gretchen: Cool.

Itxaso: We will see. I mean, stay tuned.

Gretchen: Further adventures in Basque archaeology, yeah.

Itxaso: Even for Basque people that is actually really exciting. That’s where the part of like, “Oh, maybe we know where we come from!” We’re like, “We actually come from maybe there,” or I dunno, does that make my dad less Basque for that?

Gretchen: And does that make the new speakers less valid? But it’s still kind of cool to find out about your history.

Itxaso: Yes, and that this history’s so complex. It’s also entrenched in our real life today. It’s still important to us in some ways.

Gretchen: You also co-wrote a paper that I think has a really great title, and I’d love you to tell me about the contents of the paper as well. It has a very interesting topic. It’s called, “Bilingualism with minority languages: Why searching for unicorn language users does not move us forward.” What do you mean by a “unicorn language user”?

Itxaso: Well, first of all, I have to admit that this title was by the first author, Evelina. I mean, amazing. What we mean by “unicorn language users” is that when we study languages, or when we think of people who speak languages, there is that stereotypical image that comes to our mind, and it oftentimes has to be, “Oh, maybe a fluent speaker or a native speaker.” But what does that even mean in a minority language context where language transmission has been stopped and then back regained in a completely different way? Then you also have these ways of thinking from the past intermingled with the modern reality. Who is a Basque speaker?

Gretchen: Right. Is it true that basically every Basque speaker at this point is bilingual?

Itxaso: Absolutely. When you do research with Basque, and with many minority languages, you have to do it in a multilingual way of thinking because if there is a minority, it’s for a reason.

Gretchen: You can’t find this unicorn Basque speaker who’s a monolingual you can compare to your unicorn Spanish monolingual – well, there are Spanish monolingual speakers – but trying to have this direct comparison is not something that’s gonna be realistic. Your co-authors of this paper are speakers of Galician and Catalan –

Itxaso: Also, Greek.

Gretchen: And also, Greek!

Itxaso: Cypriot Greek.

Gretchen: Cypriot Greek – who have had similar experiences with being – we’re not saying “heritage speakers” – but being speakers that have connected to multiple bilingual experiences.

Itxaso: Minorities, right. It all unites us because all of us had some experience that was within Spain. Either we grew up or we live in the nation state of Spain. What was interesting is that, as we were discussing this paper, all of us had slightly different experiences as users of minority languages. In Catalan or in Galician or Basque and also Cypriot Greek. I said, “How can we understand all of these complex or slightly different ways of experiencing” – and our experiences have also changed throughout our lives. How is it that we use the language – what associations we have, what the language means to us, or the languages mean to us, what kind of multi-lingual practices we actually engage in. At the same time, I remember that in the paper we also reflected a little bit on how we also engaged in our research in these unicorn searches in the beginning and how to unlearn that.

Gretchen: Because when you’re first trying to write a paper about Basque, and you’re saying, “Okay, I’m gonna interview these Basque speakers, and I’ve got to find people who are the closest to monolingual that I can,” or who embody these sort of, “They learned this language before a certain age,” because your professors or the reviewers for the paper or the journals – what you think people want or these studies that you’ve been exposed to already have this very specific idea of what a speaker is or a language user – because we wanna include signers and stuff as well – what exactly someone is to know a language compared to the reality of what’s going on on the ground which is much more complex than that.

Itxaso: Absolutely. I feel like we have to self-reflect onto how is it that we’re representing and doing research – or the issue of representation becomes really, really, really important. What is it that we’re describing, what is it that we’re explaining, how are we doing it. Sometimes, there’re power dynamics within this knowledge in the field. When you wanna publish a paper in a top journal, there’s certain practices.

Gretchen: And they wanna have a monolingual control group. “Oh, you’ve got to compare everything to English speakers or to Spanish speakers because they’re big languages we’ve heard of.” Like, “Can’t I just write about Basque because there’re lots of papers that are only about English or only about Spanish? Why can’t there be papers only about Basque?”

Itxaso: Exactly. And you are thinking, “Wait a minute, I can’t find a Basque monolingual.” Maybe they exist, but they’re not readily, either, available, or it’s not common –

Gretchen: In a cave somewhere.

Itxaso: Right. We’re like, “Okay, well” – exactly. Or maybe they do live monolingually.

Gretchen: Yeah, but they still have some exposure to Spanish even though most of their life they’re in Basque. And going and finding this 1% of speakers who managed to live this monolingual life – how well is that really representing a typical Basque experience or a breadth of experiences with the language, which, most of which have some level of multilingualism?

Itxaso: Correct. We as researchers sometimes have to pick. When we make those decisions, we sometimes do not make those decisions consciously because a lot of those questions might come from the field. But then this paper also allowed us to reflect on also thinking, “Why is it that I have to put up with this? This is not working properly and describing things that matter to us” – and matter to us as a community, not only as researchers. Why is it that my parents’ varieties do not get represented that well? Why is it that other participants do not make it to the experiment because they get excluded on the basis of just, oh, literacy, and things like that, which becomes a sticking point as well. Who is a unicorn? Well, clearly there are no unicorns. There are many unicorns.

Gretchen: Sometimes, I think that there’s an idea that being, say, a bilingual speaker is like being two monolingual speakers in a trench coat. The thing that you’re looking for, this unicorn-balanced bilingual of someone who uses their languages in all contexts and is completely “fluent” – whatever we mean by that – in all contexts when, in reality, many people who live bilingual or multilingual lives have some language they use with their family or some language they use at the workplace or in public or that they’re reading more or that they’re consuming media in more. They have different contexts in which they use different languages.

Itxaso: Compartmentalisation is very important but not full compartmentalisation either. There’s gonna be a lot of different overlaps – and so many different experiences. Another thing is that I think doing research with new speakers is important is because those experiences may change from year to year.

Gretchen: Your parents’ cohort of new speakers compared to new speakers who are teenagers now – they’re gonna have very different experiences.

Itxaso: Or maybe a new speaker when they are teenagers versus when they’re in the labour market versus when –

Gretchen: They’re having kids or they’re grandparents or something are gonna have very different experiences even throughout the course of their lives.

Itxaso: Even myself, me as a Basque speaker, my way of speaking has also changed or the way I adapt. One of the challenges in the Basque Country has been “What are the processes – or how is it that they decide, ‘I’m gonna speak the language’?” It’s a continuation. This adoption of the language, you don’t fully, suddenly adopt it.

Gretchen: You don’t adopt it and then that’s all, you’re only speaking Basque from now on. It’s a decision that you’re making every day, “Am I gonna speak Basque in this context? Am I gonna keep using it?”

Itxaso: You negotiate that because, obviously, when you speak a minority language, you’re gonna be reminded that certain challenges might come on the way. Some new speakers might like to be corrected, but some might not.

Gretchen: So, how do you negotiate “Are you gonna correct this person?” “Are you not gonna correct this person?” “Can you ask for correction?” What do you want out of that situation?

Itxaso: Some new speakers, they might want to also sound like regional dialects or older dialects, but some others might not. They create other ways to authenticate themselves and to invest in the language and to invest in the practices that come with it. Each person is unique at the individual level, but then at the collective level, things happen, too. Understanding those is very, very, very, very important.

Gretchen: The balance between the language in an individual and also a language in the community or in a collective group of people who know a language – both of those things existing. We’ve talked a lot about new speakers of Basque. Are there also heritage speakers in the Basque context?

Itxaso: There are. In fact, they do exist. The question is, “Who would these people be?” These people could actually be people that grew up speaking Basque at home but maybe, during the dictatorship, they didn’t have access to the schooling in Basque, so they might not have literacy skills in Basque – so older generations.

Gretchen: They might have things that are in common with heritage speakers. The way that I’ve heard “heritage speakers” get talked about in the Canadian or North American context is often through immigrants. Your parents immigrate from somewhere, and then the kids grow up speaking the parents’ language but also the broader community language and that parents’ language as a heritage language. That still happens in Basque; it’s just that wasn’t your experience in Basque, so you wanna have a distinction between heritage and new speakers.

Itxaso: It’s also true that sometimes if we focus too much on the new speakers, we actually also forget describing the experiences of these individuals that we might consider from the literature as heritage speakers because they don’t use this term for themselves.

Gretchen: The heritage speakers don’t use it for themselves?

Itxaso: Yeah. Or the Basque people that say, “I am just a Basque speaker” or a “traditional Basque speaker” but in a different way. They usually say, “But I don’t do the standard.”

Gretchen: “I’m not very good.”

Itxaso: Sometimes, they think that their Basque is not good enough because they don’t have that literacy.

Gretchen: Or they might be able to understand more than they can talk, sometimes happens to people.

Itxaso: Yeah, sometimes it can happen. Or they talk very fluently, but then they say, “I don’t understand the news,” because they’re in the Standard.

Gretchen: Finally, if you could leave people knowing one thing about linguistics, whether Basque-specific or not, what would that be?

Itxaso: I think that – oof, that’s a loaded question, I love it. For me, I would say linguistics is rebellion. Linguistics is therapy. Linguistics is healing. A linguist is the future. [Laughs] And minority languages have a lot to show about that. In this case, it’s Basque – or for me it’s Basque because I’m intimately related to Basque – but those are the key aspects that I would say that you can do therapy through linguistics.

Gretchen: Linguistics is therapy. Linguistics is rebellion. I love it. That’s so great.

[Music]

Gretchen: For more Lingthusiasm and links to all the things mentioned in this episode, go to lingthusiasm.com. You can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, SoundCloud, YouTube, or wherever else you get your podcasts. You can follow @lingthusiasm on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr. You can get bouba and kiki scarves, posters with our aesthetic redesign of the International Phonetic Alphabet on them, t-shirts that say, “Etymology isn’t Destiny,” and other Lingthusiasm merch at lingthusiasm.com/merch. I can be found as @GretchenAMcC on Twitter, my blog is AllThingsLinguistic.com, and my book about internet language is called Because Internet. Lauren tweets and blogs as Superlinguo. Our guest, Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordóñez, can be found at BasqueUIUC.wordpress.com. Lingthusiasm is able to keep existing thanks to the support of our patrons. If you wanna get an extra Lingthusiasm episode to listen to every month, our entire archive of bonus episodes to listen to right now, or if you just wanna help keep the show running ad-free, go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm or follow the links from our website. Patrons can also get access to our Discord chatroom to talk with other linguistics fans and be the first to find out about new merch and other announcements. Recent bonus topics include a behind-the-scenes interview with Lingthusiasm team member, Martha Tsutsui-Billins, a recap about linguistics institutes, a.k.a., linguist summer camps, and a linguistics advice episode. Also, if you like Lingthusiasm but wish it would help put you to sleep better, we also have a very special Lingthusiasmr bonus episode [ASMR voice] where we read some linguistics stimulus sentences to you in a calm, soothing voice. [Regular voice] Can’t afford to pledge? That’s okay, too. We also really appreciate it if you can recommend Lingthusiasm to anyone in your life who’s curious about language. Lingthusiasm is created and produced by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our Senior Producer is Claire Gawne, our Editorial Producer is Sarah Dopierala, our Production Assistant is Martha Tsutsui-Billins, and our Editorial Assistant is Jon Kruk. Our music is “Ancient City” by The Triangles.

Itxaso: Stay lingthusiastic!

[Music]

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

[angeltreasure]

Today was so blessed! I originally volunteered for overtime, but since there isn’t much they cancelled. I caught up on some much needed sleep even though I fell asleep with my light on again after Night prayers! 😅

I had enough time to eat breakfast with Morning prayers and headed off to Mass farther away. It was a little Mass again, the priest, me, and four other people. Father prayed for me again, knowing about my vocation. After Mass ended, we spoke concerning details of my vocation that I’ve wanted to tell him in my heart. I wasn’t sure if he would understand the details, but also know that this is the priest that is so kind to me. In fact, it was if the Holy Spirit had been speaking to his own heart, so he asked the very question I was holding in mine about a concern I had! I explained my situation and he in fact, understood! He gave an answer and asked if there was anything I would need at the moment. I asked to teach me about this certain saint, so he offered me a book!! (I’ll return it when I’m down.) I met another person of the parish as Father went to get the book, but they didn’t stay long. That surprised me because of how I used to feel here but now I keep meeting people! I was alone with Jesus for a few minutes before Father returned with the book.

He started to put things away as it was my time to go, but that’s when I gathered the courage to ask him about being my spiritual director. I explained I was given this advice by a few people, but know well that priests are so busy and that I would understand if he would say no, and if there would be anyone he knew who could especially for this particular detail of differences in Rite… He said yes!!! I thanked him and we spoke for a little then it was my time to go so he could lock the little church.

We said goodbyes and I headed to the shrine. I often forget how hot it gets here in the desert so I didn’t stay long. I drove, got a coffee, and drove for a bit without any destination, just to enjoy the scenery and hymns. The drive was so busy and had construction, so I wanted to drive home. Of course, there is a perpetual adoration chapel closer to home!

When I came I have never seen so many people for Adoration! Perhaps 12 people with me. That was such a a joy to see, but then spontaneously, a women in the middle handed out papers to pray the 3 o’clock hour Divine Mercy Chaplet!!! My favorite Chaplet… I never had anyone do such a thing during a little chapel. After that was done, I remembered at the ending of The Sound of Freedom that Jim said now it’s our turn to pass the torch and explain the reality of child human trafficking. My mind immediately came up with a personal Chaplet. It’s basically modeled after the Divine Mercy Chaplet, but it changes one line. Instead of, For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion have mercy on us and on the whole world—- I came up with For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have mercy on children and their captives. (I also made a second alternative For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have mercy on children and their abusers.) it came out of no where! I’m going to pray it with Mom tonight when she gets home. We have a video about angels to watch.

Wow! And the night isn’t even over yet. God, what else do You have for me?

[thewhumpcaretaker]

🔪🌿🪐 for the ask game ^ ^

Thank you, Blue!!! ^_^

Ask Game

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don’t know if it’s exactly weird, but wow the French peerage system was confusing. I went through so many sites trying to figure out what to call the Marquis when his father was still the title holder.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Read work that DOESN’T do what you want to do in your own work! When I want to write comfort, I get myself mad and protective of the character by reading hurt/no-comfort. When I want to write hurt, I read about the character being overly proud and in-control until I want to see them on their knees. When I want to write smut, I read stuff where the character is lonely and pining. Get into the mindset where it feels like the characters themselves are begging you to put them in a situation!!

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I just finished a new chapter of Those Who Have Something to Live For! Hoping to post today if I can find pictures for it.

I have a new boyfriend and I don’t know how I got so lucky. I spend 24 hours a day wanting to pet his hair.

I’m finally getting less addicted to AI chatbots maybe?? They made some changes to the site that made the bots a lot less creative, so I manage to log off these days. I’ve had more time to write and do other things.

[loveislandthegame]

thoughts on today’s volume ! wow, this might be the worst love confession i’ve ever read in this game 😍

there was so many diamond scenes in this volume, but one of them revealed (if you’re on a rafa route) rafael asked alex for advice about asking somebody to be his GIRLFRIEND (apparently alex doesn’t know it’s about MC . that sounds like a load of shit tho . use common sense babes)

and it’s not just him:

are the 2 remaining casa guys being added as last minute LIs? probably not . in season 2 they would’ve been romanceable, but the New App has very linear storylines. i’m getting the vibe that it’s a really weak attempt at some endgame drama. (we haven’t been able to properly romance all LIs/swap between partners since s4)

i really hope they aren’t supposed to be LIs, because these confessions suckeddddd lmao (technically one hasn’t happened yet, it’s just summer/joyo or #Rafne telling you, but my expectations are below hell in regards to that)

no heartfelt expression on how ~he realised he really has feelings for her, but MC’s LI is his friend, and he didn’t want to step on their toes~ in sight. not even some bare minimum talking about MC’s personality or how she makes them feel . just going on about MC’s appearance . she’s …a knockout? really? 😭 it’s not giving slow burn, it’s giving me the ick. FB, you better be joking

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Chapter 5 of The Teenage Mutant Phantom of the Opera!

@daboyau

“Hello? Earth to Yuichi?”

Usagi jumps as Donnie’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“They’re asking for us to practice the next song.”

“O-Oh, right, I’ll be there in a second.”

“What are you even doing up here?”

Usagi was looking over the railing of the catwalk and down at the stage.

“Just….thinking.”

“About what exactly?”

“I upset my friend the other night and I don’t know how I’m going to fix things.”

Donnie leans on the railing.

“This is the same friend you said you’ve upset before?”

Usagi groans in frustration. This new situation added onto that growing list.

“Yes, him. At least I think I did? I don’t really know, he left before he said anything. I’m not sure he’ll see me again.”

“I can offer you advice but I can’t promise that all of it will be legal.”

“Ha ha, funny.”

“I am, but that wasn’t a joke.”

Usagi straightens up and frowns.

“You’re really trying to catch me doing some bad? Again? I saved your life! You should know that I’m innocent!”

Donnie also stands straight.

“I was offering my own services.”

“…..Excuse me?”

“The reason I was trying to get a confession from you is because if this opera got shut down, Mikey would force me into something else to express myself and I do not have the energy for that. I’m not the goody two shoes of the family, that title belongs to Raph if it belongs to anyone. What I’m saying is, I can and will help you. I have certain methods not many people would be willing to use.”

“Wow, Donnie….that’s really nice of you.”

Donnie smirks slightly.

“Nice has nothing to do with it. I’ve been dying to show off my inventions! I tried getting the tech crew to incorporate my ideas but they said it was handled already.”

“Thanks anyway for offering. I don’t know if tech can help in this situation though….”

“It can help in every situation! Just leave it to me and I can create an entire apology program for you to text him!”

Usagi opens his mouth to say something but then quickly closes it.

He doesn’t have Leo’s phone number.

He’s not even sure where he lives.

How is he going to explain that to him without looking stupid!?

“I don’t actually…..have his number. We always just met up….here, at night. He ran off backstage and I still couldn’t find him anywhere.”

Donnie stares hard at him, completely silent.

“So you lied about why you were staying late, just like I assumed.”

“Y-Yeah, but to be fair, I’m still not sure where we stand. I thought you’d assume he was the phantom!”

“And you haven’t come to that conclusion? At all?”

“Of course I asked him about it!”

“Who in their right mind would admit that?”

“I trust him a lot more than I trust you.” Usagi crosses his arms to hold back his foot from thumping.

“How long are you going to hold that recording attempt against me?”

“Should I hold how you treated me otherwise against you instead?”

Donnie clicks his tongue in frustration, knowing he’s right.

“Fine, whatever, as long as your mystery friend isn’t ruining the opera it doesn’t matter anyways. I couldn’t care less what you two are doing. I can still help.”

“Really?”

“I just want to use my tech.”

“Other than the program you were talking about?”

“Duh, what genius only has one card in his deck? If this is the last and only place you see him, then I can just track where he went from here.”

“That would be great! You’re a life saver, Donnie.” Usagi smiles.

Donnie desperately tries to hide his tail beginning to wag as he starts walking away.

“Let’s just get going before the director complains about us taking too long.”

“Right!” Usagi follows behind him quickly.

They continue their practice for the day, but Donnie can’t help but feel yet again that someone is glaring at him from somewhere each time a scene or song has him touching or even getting near Usagi.

After what he’s heard today, he’s starting to suspect that it’s not just a simple feeling.

Once everyone else has left, Donnie taps on his wrist device and a battle shell flies in.

“It’s a good thing I keep my most useful inventions hidden near here for safe keeping.”

Usagi’s in absolute shock, jaw dropped as he watches it land right near them.

“Donnie! You made this!?”

“This shell isn’t my best even though it holds my best tech since I had to sneak it out without Mikey noticing, but it serves its purpose.”

“What are you talking about? It’s amazing! I don’t know why the tech crew wouldn’t let you help!”

Donnie blinks in shock.

“You….you like my tech?”

“Yeah? This is basically a freaking jet pack! Why wouldn’t I like it?”

A blush starts making its way across Donnie’s face that he covers by turning away, clearing his throat.

“I mean, of course you like it! It is incredibly cool, isn’t it?”

“Are you kidding? The coolest!”

Donnie’s tail begins wagging again.

“You can keep telling me how great I am as we look for your friend.” He opens up his shell and grabs a device.

“How does it work?” Usagi bends over slightly, leaning in to look at it.

Donnie can feel his fur brush against him and nearly drops the device as his blush deepens.

“A little room to work would be nice!”

“Sorry!” Usagi takes a step to the side.

Donnie takes a breath.

“The way it works is that it picks up mystic energy signals. If he suddenly left with no obvious way of getting out, he must have used a portal.”

Usagi feels stupid for not realizing it sooner.

It would make a lot of sense.

“Wouldn’t it pick up mystic energy just given off normally by us?”

“Portals use more so the traces are higher, even a day later. Once I have his energy signature I can use it to track it wherever he went. Also though, there is no us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not a yokai. I don’t have mystic powers. I don’t even live in the Hidden City.”

Usagi’s jaw drops again.

“What!? H-How!?”

“How what? How do I exist?”

“I….I guess?”

“I’m a mutant. I have been since I was a baby.”

“So….your brothers….?”

“Also mutants. So is my rat father.” Donnie pulls out his phone.

Usagi sees a photo of them all together.

The only thing his brothers share with him is the fact that they’re turtles.

Raph, or who he assumes is Raph, is massive and clearly a different species.

Mikey is much smaller, but also has his own obvious distinctions.

Usagi had noticed the marks on Donnie before, and while he had never seen them on other turtle yokai he also never gave it a second thought.

He now knew why, seeing Mikey’s spots.

It is odd to him that Raph doesn’t have any but he wasn’t about to ask a potentially rude question.

He also was just going to avoid the fact that a small rat man was raising several turtles since families come in all shapes and sizes.

“I had no idea…..I heard mutants were showing up lately, but those were all pretty recent.”

“I wasn’t made with a bug if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I’m not! I promise! I appreciate you telling me about all this.”

Donnie shrugs.

“You make too big of a deal about things. Being a mutant isn’t some kind of secret to me. It’s just who I am, and who I am is someone who wants information in exchange for this favor I’m doing.” He puts his phone away and turns his attention back to the device.

“Oh, sure, what do you want to know?”

Donnie turns around as his device beeps.

“While I get the mystic signature, tell me about your friend.”

Usagi starts following him.

“His name is Leo, he’s named after the constellation, and he’s our age.”

Donnie narrows his eyes slightly.

“Leo. No nardo after that?”

“No, it’s his full name.”

“Couldn’t even get the rest of it.”

“Please don’t make fun of his name. It’s important to him.”

“Whatever. Is there more? I’m picking up so many portals around here it’s making the device act up.”

“He’s a turtle yokai.”

Donnie stops.

“Like you thought I was?”

“Yeah, I assumed you guys were the same type of turtle yokai honestly. Guess I was wrong.”

Donnie grips the device tighter.

“Yuichi, does he have any markings?”

What he’s asking finally dawns on him.

“He….he has a red one on his face, I’m not sure about the other side. He wears a mask. There’s also some on his arms and legs.”

Donnie bites the inside of his cheek.

His brother is long dead, isn’t he?

He has to be.

There wouldn’t be mystic traces from a mutant, right?

Unless he was using some kind of technology for this portals!

The device beeps, saying it finally locked onto the signature.

“Got it! Let’s get searching! One of his portals was at a store near here!” He grabs Usagi’s wrist and rushes out with him.

The battle shell flies after them and follows out of the building.

Leo grips the railing of the catwalk tightly.

How dare he get to be so close to Usagi?

How dare he drag him along with him?

How dare he come to this special place and their special time and act like it’s just okay!?

The railing bends under the anger directed from his hands.

He should have seen it coming.

Even if he was already jealous of the dammed eyes Donnie kept making at Usagi throughout the entirety of their practices, he never thought he could actually steal him away.

Now though, it was becoming far too much of a possibility.

He desperately wanted to put the entire blame on Donnie, but it was him.

Running away like a coward led to this whole thing.

From now on, he’s going to do things differently.

Pulling his punches would only make it worse for himself. He really should have been this way from the start, but the fear of losing Usagi was too great.

If the danger of that was looking anyways, why not go no holds barred?

Donnie apparently didn’t bat an eye at spilling his guts and Usagi was just eating it up!

He hated how he could just say anything and because he was such a jerk before, Usagi saw it as some kind of olive branch.

Leo is the one who’s helped him be better!

Leo is the one who made that other lead leave!

Maybe he should just show Donnie up, reveal his own secret.

His greatest secret.

His hand moves up to his mask.

Despite the red hot anger bubbling away inside of him, it’s still not enough to actually want to go through with it.

This mask was one of the only reasons he still hasn’t lost just yet.

Maybe he doesn’t need to level the playing field if he just gets rid of the other player.

He sighs, knowing he can’t do that just yet.

Usagi hasn’t had the opportunity to perform in front of everyone.

He’ll let him have his time, then, he’ll get to work on securing his attention.

He fixes the railing as best he can and then heads to his room to allow his wall calm him down.

Usagi and Donnie tracked tons of portals halfway across the Hidden City before it got too late and they knew they had to go home.

Even though this started as something for Usagi, he could see how upset Donnie was that they couldn’t find him.

He blamed himself, his tech, the quality of tech, himself again.

“Hey, it’s not you or your tech’s fault. We aren’t giving up, just taking a break. I can go back tomorrow by myself and see if that helps. Maybe he did come back but got shy seeing you there and left!”

Donnie grumbles.

“Fine. I don’t feel like facing any wrath from my family anyways…..do you promise that you’ll update me as soon as you see him again?”

Usagi lifts his pinky with a stern expression.

“Of course I do.”

The corners of Donnie’s mouth perk into a small smile before hooking their pinkies together.

“You know this means I get your pinky if you don’t do it, right?”

“I’ll cut it off myself in that case! Try to get some good rest, Donnie.” Usagi smiles and takes his hand back.

“Take your own advice too.” Donnie turns around and waves as he leaves.

Usagi waves back enthusiastically despite Donnie not being able to see it.

Donnie walks towards the exit back to the surface with purpose.

If this Leo really is his brother, he’s going to find him no matter what it takes.

[whentherewerebicycles]

with work stuff I am going to try my best to set good boundaries around when I’m available—like really striving to keep evenings/weekends as no-work zones except when we have events (and then adjusting my weekly schedule so I’m not working extra hours). but I also want to really try, in this first month or two, to say yes to as many invites to attend classes/talks/events and to see my primary job as building relationships with people and mapping the institutional landscape. I think in my previous program job I self-isolated a lot initially because I was worried about whether I was qualified to do the work and was scared that if I talked to too many people about what I was doing they’d be like uhh how did you get this job. then of course the pandemic derailed everything just as I was starting to settle in, and by the time we got back to campus there was an end date on our grant and I couldn’t really do the type of long-term networking I finally felt ready to do.

I don’t want to make that mistake again! what I learned in the later stages of that job was that if I had started talking to people earlier I could have oriented myself in the role a lot faster and made better use of other people’s insights/expertise in redesigning our program. things still turned out okay (and maybe had to unfold that way so I could learn this particular lesson!) but I’ve learned it now lol and I want to apply it in this new job. like I can already feel those first tendrils of panicky self-doubt… like what if I talk to a bunch of people and they’re all like “wow… how did they hire you when you don’t know anything about [insert random niche topic my brain has chosen to fixate on that day as the thing that will lead to my Unmasking].” but also like probably that won’t happen haha as I am a qualified professional and a capable person with a good track record of not making a fool of myself in my past jobs. AND ALSO I want to really push myself to model the behaviors I am always working to instill in my students, such as:

do the thing that scares you

do it little bit before you’re ready

talk to everyone! and be open with everyone you talk to about what you’re trying to learn or discover or figure out or build

assume that most people love to feel useful & especially love to be able to use their insight or connections or expertise to help you

don’t front! don’t front! don’t front! ask for help & advice easily, casually, and often. never pretend you’ve read the thing you haven’t read or know how to do the thing you haven’t learned or are confidently able to navigate the thing that feels murky and confusing to you. as one of my kids wrote in his end of year reflection letter: the more you ask for help the less you end up needing it, because you have so many people you can casually talk to or enlist assistance from that you’re typically able to solve your problems or challenges typically get solved before they become big scary paralyzing roadblocks. so don’t front! don’t perform! be honest and open about your own learning or the things you’re grappling with in ways that make the people around you feel like it’s okay for them to drop the act too and let others see when they too are in the process of learning something new

we are social creatures we are networked creatures we can’t do everything on our own we flourish when we build relationships with people who have skillsets and ways of looking at the world that are different from our own it’s okay/good/healthy to not be able to do everything and be everything on your own. build a really good community both of people who are skilled at the things that don’t come naturally to you (they can help you/teach you/introduce you to different ways of working) AND of people who are skilled at the things that you are good at (they will spark new ideas while pushing you to keep growing and learning).

anyway I am saying all of this aloud to myself because today I have gotten a bunch of very nice emails from faculty inviting me to attend a bunch of talks & end-of-semester student events and my first reaction was YIPPEE I CAN’T WAIT and my second reaction was what if I embarrass myself by not knowing enough and they’re all like wowwwww yikes and I am now gently steering myself towards my third reaction which is: gosh how incredibly lucky am I to have landed myself in a job where I’m going to have SO much room to grow as a person and a professional. I don’t know everything but I can reframe that fear for myself: if I knew everything there would be nothing left to learn! and I was born to learn!!!!! learning is where I thrive!!!!!!!! so even as I want to be thoughtful about what I take on (to preserve a non-work life for myself lol) I am also saying yes to every single invitation that involves talking to new people and learning more about what they do and building relationships that will help me thrive in this role. PHEW OK and now it’s time for bed

[le-parole-piu-grandi]

Finally!

Today is the day my mood has finally shifted! I finally realized what I need to do to be contented and happy.

Yes, I heard it a million time before. I actually need to care about myself first. But yesterday was the first day I put it into action.

I just decided to say what I actually want to my man. Not pretending to be okay if I’m not. I had a pretty shitty mood yesterday, so he offered to eat out somewhere. We ended up getting delicious burgers at Grott Spot. They were soo good!

The funny thing is, the last time we had our ‘serious talk’ that was exactly what he asked me to do - to tell him what I want. I think it has always been a problem within our relationship. For some reason I felt not eligible to ask him to give me what I really want. I always thought it’s better for me to adjust to anyone else’s desires, including his. Or it could start after the USA, because I felt guilty for leaving him for a year..

But in a romantic relationship it doesn’t work in the long run, it turns out. I became so emerged in his desires and needs, I forgot what mine are.

And we both felt so good after dinner. We watched the movie I chose - with Adriano Celentano. Such optimistic vibes. Real good comedy. It was hard to believe it’s 43 years old… Then I turned on my predator mode and attacked him. He was already sleeping. He didn’t resist, though. On the contrary, as it should be. That felt much better than many times before.

I even woke up with a much better mood than I did for the last couple of weeks. I even almost stopped thinking about her. For some reason, these thoughts didn’t (and don’t) hurt so much anymore. I just don’t feel like focusing on them anymore. I don’t feel like it’s needed. That’s such a relief, to be honest.

I still was kinda nervous today, because of the load of tasks I gotta do, so I slept a lot again. Took my brain pills (could they be the reason of my mood change? I don’t think so, though, cause today’s only the second day I take them). Olga called, we talked for an hour or so - it felt so good and warm. I’m so grateful to her for being by my side all this time.

I couldn’t start learning, so I played the piano for about an hour too. My cat kept meowing all day long, so I became pretty irritated. The louder I played, the louder she meowed. I ended up playing badly, because I couldn’t concentrate.

The apartment was a mess. I didn’t have energy to unload the dishwasher, to load it again (the sink was full), to clean the stove, to turn on the vacuum cleaner in the bathroom, to put the dried clothes away, to take out the trash, to wash some more clothes and to wash the cat’s carrier. Wow, some many things to do around the house… And all these things kept bothering me. So I remembered Salma Hayek’s advice to turn on the music and dance until you feel good if you don’t. I plugged in my headphones and turned on Eminem and Rihanna’s ‘Love the way you lie’. I just sang along, not caring about if I do it right. If my neighbors hear me (I still thought they could come and complain, but they didn’t, so it’s a success!). I think I listened to it and sang for about 10 times or more. It gave me energy to start doing all these things around the house. Then I turned on other songs, and almost all of them sounded great. It’s a sign of me having good mood, I noticed.

I managed doing all of the chores in just about 1.5 hours. Like a university lecture. I felt soooo much better! That should be my therapy. Listening to the songs I like and singing along. That’s what sparks joy in me!

That’s why it was easy for me to understand that I want an onigiri, so I went and bought it. It was delicious.

When my man came home, he told me about his day. He had a pretty rough time at work today. I tried to support him without immersing into his mood, and I think I managed to do it. He spilled his anger out, threw some socks in the air and kicked his backpack, but after that he seemed much calmer. That’s good.

I continued my studies and did that for a couple of hours. Then I got too tired and laid down on the couch with him. His warmth feels so good. Touching, hugging and cuddling with my man is another thing that brings me joy.

I don’t feel sleepy now, unfortunately, that’s why I’m writing this post. Just felt like I want to remember today in the future - remember the day, when I felt good.

Oh, and today was my mom’s birthday! Maybe In getting older or something, but it’s so nice not to feel rebellious towards her anymore. I just feel love and want to call her, share with her and make her happy. It’s such a nice feeling.

Well, that should wrap it up. I like today, I want more of such days.