#wow i did this in like an hour and a half ? neat

[hueseok]

it was always you (from the vault)

originally titled: take my breath away.

a.k.a. the original draft for my “it was always you” fic wherein naval aviator!jungkook is your cocky soon-to-be-ex-husband who won’t sign your divorce papers because he’s still in love with you lol.

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 4.5k

content: fluff, semi-angst, exes to ??? | ft. naval aviator!jungkook + husband!jungkook

warning: what you’re about to read (if you do choose to read this) is an unfinished work which perhaps will forever be unfinished.

the only reason i’m posting it because i feel like it’d be a waste to let it rot in my drafts considering that i really liked how it went until the moment i stopped writing hehehehe. i’ve also thought about continuing this story but since i already have an existing naval aviator!jungkook in my masterlist, i felt like it’d be redundant to post this!

anyhow, since a lot of you showed so much love to “it was always you”, i thought it’d be nice to share this 🥹

You really hoped that flying for almost three hours and experiencing horrid turbulence during half of the trip was going to be worth it. But again, that was only the first part of the whole charade; the real challenge would begin perhaps much later, when you finally come face to face with the person that you were scheduled to meet.

As you walked inside the bar, the nerves that previously weren’t there started to crawl from your chest to your legs, making it harder to reach the counter where a vacant bar stool stood. You didn’t even know why you were suddenly nervous—although you could only guess that the sudden burst of anxiety was rooted from talking again to the most stubborn man ever to walk on earth—and you were already preparing yourself for the long conversation you were going to have with him and possibly the extended leave you’ll have to inform your boss for this trip because of his infamous stubbornness.

“____?” a familiar voice abruptly called out for you after you finished ordering a mug of beer from the barmaid, “no fucking way. It can’t be.”

You turned to your left and saw Jung Hoseok.

Spoiler: he wasn’t the person you were going to meet today, which made seeing him such a delight. You grinned immediately upon making eye contact, hopping out of your chair and exclaiming his name with the same enthusiasm he let out when he did realize it was you who he was looking at.

“Holy shit. What are you doing here?” He automatically engulfed you in a tight embrace when you initiated. You noticed that he was wearing an off duty attire, a plain black polo shirt and blue jeans, his hair kept neat and short. “Actually, scratch that—there’s only one person you should be here for.”

You bothered to smile. “Yeah. I’m guessing he didn’t tell anyone I’m visiting, huh?”

“Nope. He 100% kept it a secret because he knows that we’re going to steal you away if he spills.”

“We?” you mused. You didn’t even know that he was training with Hoseok, and now you’re discovering that Hoseok’s apparently not the only friend he has here. “How many of you that I know are training with him?”

Hoseok takes a short pause to think about it. “Hm… well, there’s me, then Yoongi and… Namjoon. That’s just about it.”

“Wow. It’s essentially the whole group again, huh?”

“Yup. I mean, we are the best of the best.” He smirked.

You playfully rolled your eyes.

“And we’ve missed you,” he added swiftly. “I’m a bit mad that your husband didn’t inform us that you’d be here—but again, I’m not surprised.”

“Sorry. I think I have myself to blame for that. I did tell him that I don’t intend to stay here for too long.”

“Why not?”

“I’m just here to make sure he signs the divorce papers.”

Hoseok nodded, thoughtful and a bit disappointed. “Is he giving you a hard time with them?”

“You can say that.” A dramatic sigh escaped you. “He insisted that if I really wanted to get his signature, I should just go here where he’s training.”

“Classic Jungkook.” He laughed, and you agreed with a snort.

He was right, this was all a Classic Jungkook move. 

Sometimes, you didn’t understand why you agreed to marry Jungkook so urgently when he asked for your hand, even after knowing that he did everything he could to ensure that he got what he wanted in the end.

Though that was just that thing, wasn’t it? He knew exactly what to do in order to get what he wanted—and at that time of his proposal, you knew it was you that he sought for.

Despite the fact that Jungkook had only been seeing you for less than a year, he was convinced that you were the love of his life. It was the reason why when he needed to be deployed for a mission, it seemed proposing was the most natural thing to do, going on about how he wanted to be reassured that when he came back for you, you were going to be there waiting for him, not only as a girlfriend, but as his wife.

And you said yes, without missing a beat, because you genuinely loved Jungkook and for you, the both of you were a match made in heaven.

By the two year mark of being a wedded couple though, just being in love with each other wasn’t enough. There were a lot of arguments, irreconcilable differences, a lot of moments wherein you wanted to abandon everything and just disappear—until you finally declared that enough was enough and you were going to file for divorce.

Of course, Jungkook didn’t want to sign them, but he did grant you a little bit of your freedom back. He did so by leaving your shared apartment on a random Thursday, only sending a text that said he was being called by the Navy for a mission he couldn’t disclose per usual, and that if you really wanted to divorce him, you’d just have to wait for him to go back.

He never returned though. Because after that mission, came a next one, and another one, until you heard that he was invited to a naval fighter weapons school in the northern part of the country, close to the seas and where he’ll be training for a few weeks among the best naval aviators in the nation. 

That’s when he decided to invite you over and say that if you wanted his signature, you’d have to be the one who’ll go to him. You initially contemplated for a long time before just going forth with his ridiculous demand. Nonetheless, you figured you were once again left with no choice because here you were now, doing exactly what he wanted to get what you exactly wanted as well.

God, who knew that contrary to how easy it was to enter this marriage, it was an absolute pain to get out of it?

“Do you know where he might be?” you asked Hoseok while taking a sip of your beer. “Or if he’s going here at least?”

“I have no clue,” Hoseok said. “Though I do know that he should have free time. We don’t have training for the rest of the day.”

“I’ll be seriously pissed if he stands me up.”

“He won’t.”

“It’s Jungkook.”

“Yeah, but you’re ____,” he said it like it was reason enough, “and Jungkook can’t resist seeing you. Especially if it’s been what? How many months have passed since you two saw each other?”

You held up six fingers, continuing to gulp down your drink in frustration. “Still, he loves to annoy the shit out of me.”

“It’s his love language.”

“Oh, I’ve been made very aware.”

Hoseok barked out a laugh. He was a huge fan of your dynamic with Jungkook; he was practically there throughout the whole journey of your relationship. As Jungkook’s weapon systems officer, the both of them were thick as thieves, which also made him the best man of the wedding—so deep inside, he wanted to believe that whatever it was that you and Jungkook were dealing with, it would be resolved soon enough.

“Well, it looks like you don’t have to wait for too long.” Hoseok toasted his glass to the direction of the entrance where the Jeon Jungkook entered, removing his aviator sunglasses and hooking it on the collar of his white shirt, worn inside a dark blue long-sleeved polo he was sporting as well.

You followed his line of vision and scowled at the sight of Jungkook. Not because you hated your husband, but because even when in the middle of finalizing a divorce, you couldn’t deny that he was too handsome for his own good.

“I think this is my cue to leave,” Hoseok added, getting off his seat. “It was nice seeing you again, ___. Let’s catch up later, yeah? I’ll conspire with Joon and Yoongi to steal you away.” He smiled mischievously and gave you a sweet chaste kiss on the cheek before walking over to Jungkook, greeting him, pointing to where you were, and then walking to another table where you guessed a bunch of other naval aviators were hanging out.

A sigh escaped you, just in time when Jungkook met your gaze.

He grinned—actually grinned—and you had to prevent your eyes from twitching to not look like some crazy person who didn’t have any self-control. So, instead of plastering the same scowl a few seconds ago for him to see, you flashed a sarcastic smile, waving your hand.

“There’s my beautiful wife,” Jungkook claimed when he was close enough, marching towards you, appearing like he was going to go for a kiss but before he could, you outstretched an arm and stopped him by literally wrapping your fingers around his neck as if you were planning to choke him to death with the gesture (which you were tempted to do).

He rolled his eyes, holding your wrist and bringing it down.

“Can’t I give you a kiss?” he retorted.

“No.”

“And Hoseok can?”

“Hoseok’s my friend.”

“I’m your husband.”

“Ex-husband.”

“Wrong. I haven’t signed any divorce papers, honey, so in the eyes of the law, I’m still very much your husband.” He quickly stole a kiss on the corner of your mouth and you allowed yourself to grimace in annoyance, glaring at him as he took Hoseok’s previous seat.

You watched him order a drink for himself and nachos for sharing. You didn’t say anything while he did all that; you just stared at him, analyzing him, trying to decipher what was going on in that head of his. You honestly had no clue what his thought process was in depriving you of the signature you wanted and then randomly agreeing to meet you again, accompanied with the condition that you’re the one who has to go to him and not the other way around.

As he reasoned, he was still in the middle of training, and he couldn’t just leave even if he wanted to and that’s why you had to make the effort to make this work (he made it clear that he didn’t want to make the effort anyway if it meant it could lead to his and yours divorce).

“How are you?” he asked once he was done ordering and you scoffed.

“Let’s not do that, Jungkook.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me that I’m not allowed to know how you’re doing too.”

“I meant the small talk. Let’s just cut to the chase.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Jungkook.”

“Alright.” He placed an arm against the counter, spinning his stool to face you. “You already know where I stand, though. I still haven’t changed my mind in wanting to work it out first.”

“What? But you told me that if I went here—”

“I would talk to you, not sign the papers,” he finished. “You didn’t really think I’d sign them just like that, right?”

Your stomach dropped.

There goes assuming that the three-hour flight to go here would be worth it.

“I did, actually.” You grumbled. “When are you giving this a rest?”

He seemed annoyed by the rhetoric question. “When are you going to stop thinking that divorce is the answer to our problem?”

“We already did couple’s therapy and that proved to be a waste of time.”

“That’s because you were stubborn and wouldn’t cooperate.”

“Oh, I’m the one who’s stubborn between the both of us? I’m the one who wouldn’t cooperate?”

“Yes.”

“No, I’m not!” You raised your hands up. “You were the one who always said some lame excuse to not attend it with me.”

“Babe, how many times do I have to tell you, my schedule isn’t—”

“Yeah, whatever.” You didn’t let him finish, knowing that he was going to say something about how being in the Navy didn’t grant him the free time you were expecting him to have.

“I’m just saying… you can’t keep on doing this, you know?” you said.

“Can’t keep doing what?”

“Prolonging this. We already broke up, Jungkook. There’s not point in staying married.”

“That’s the thing, though.” He smirked. “I can keep prolonging it.”

Your nostrils flared. “Why?”

“Because I can.”

You think flashes of red were beginning to blur your vision.

Jungkook noticed the rage building up, yet he didn’t back down. “Why are you even so eager to legally separate? Do you plan on getting married again soon?” he asked.

It was supposed to be a joke, because Jungkook didn’t actually think you were seeing anyone at the moment—but at the mention of it, he saw the manner in which your expression slightly shifted, and he narrowed his eyes at you, understanding. “Don’t bullshit me. You aren’t seeing anyone, right?”

You blinked, acting all innocent. “It’s none of your business.”

“It is. You’re still married to me.”

“We’ve broken up for almost a year now, Jungkook.” You groaned, remaining him once again. “If you just signed the goddamn papers, all of this would be out of your hands.”

He scoffed. “You are seeing someone?”

“That is not the point of our conversation.”

“Well, it’s a significant aspect of it.”

“Fine.” You huffed. “I am seeing someone. Happy?”

Jungkook was in fact not happy. He was angry, but then he thought of how he shouldn’t be, because you and him have broken up for almost a year now like you said. Even though he wasn’t in support of that notion, he remembered at least granting you enough freedom to feel like you could date around without thinking about how you were technically cheating on him if ever you did. 

However, he didn’t really think you would find someone. Sure, you were beautiful, you had an amazing personality, there was no question when it came to you attracting men, yet you could be picky most of the time. It was even a miracle how he managed to bag you; though he guessed that he didn’t really have to try that hard in the first place before because the two of you just had so much in common for you to ignore.

“What’s his name?” he asked after a long silence.

You crossed your arms. “Do you have to know?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” You adjusted yourself in your seat. “It’s Ben.”

Jungkook thought the name sounded stupid. “How long have you been dating him?”

You hesitated, already predicting how he was going to react that you almost exaggerated the answer, but decided against it last minute. “Five weeks.”

He suddenly burst out laughing, the sound echoing inside the bar; it was the exact type of response you were positive he was going to do, proof that you knew him too well and that you shouldn’t have changed your pretense in the first place.

“It’s not funny,” you hissed, noticing that a lot of people were glancing at where you were both situated. “What the hell is funny about what I said?”

“You want to divorce me for a guy you’ve been dating for five weeks?” He carried on snickering; he barely got the whole sentence out because he was too busy catching his breath.

“Of course not! I would just prefer it if I don’t have any baggage left before attempting to commit to another relationship.”

The barmaid came back with Jungkook’s beer and nachos. He thanked her and slid the basket of cheesy nachos to your direction, an offer that you could get a piece if you wanted. However you were neither hungry nor interested in getting anything from him that would elicit a thank you from you, too prideful at this point due to how annoying he was being.

“What does he do for a living?” he asked next.

“I’m not telling you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re going to make fun of it.”

“Is it worth making fun of?”

“No.”

“Then just tell me.” He threw a chip inside his mouth. 

You pressed your lips together. “He’s a bank clerk.”

Jungkook didn’t laugh this time, but the corners of his mouth were twitching as he grinned, and you found yourself refraining from wanting to strangle him again, questioning why you thought it was a good idea to come here since it was obvious that talking to him properly was an impossible task.

“You’re dating a bank clerk?” he posed the question like it was the most preposterous thing he had heard from you today. “What the hell do the both of you have in common?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll have you know that Ben is a very nice guy.”

“That’s what ladies say when a man is horrible in bed.”

“That’s not true.”

“Is he good then?”

“That’s none of your business, Jungkook,” you uttered once more, teeth gritting. “Besides, it’s only been five weeks.”

He smirked. “That’s a no then. It seems that you haven’t slept with him,” he said. “Makes sense. I mean, if you have already slept with another guy, you might be already begging me to get back together. Given that I’m the best sex you’ve ever had.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “How the fuck are you always so arrogant?”

“It comes with the praise I usually get during my escapades, babe.” Jungkook winked at you, hand reaching out for another nacho.

“Oh, so I’m assuming you do have sex with other people now. You know, if you’ve just divorced me, you can go live your happy single life again to go to that without any worries.”

“I don’t sleep with other people—”

“But you just said—”

“I meant before I met you.” He pointed out, giving you a look. “Why are you even thinking about that? Are you jealous?”

“God, you’re fucking impossible.” You practically growled. 

He flashed you another smirk, amused.

“Anyhow,” you began, bringing out the divorce papers from your bag that you should have given him the second you saw him, but as what you think was part of his plan, he did manage to stall you in doing so, “here’s the papers.” You shoved it to his chest, rendering Jungkook no choice but to grab it.

He glanced down at them. “You’re never going to stop until I sign these, huh?”

You nodded. “Never.”

“Fine.” Jungkook flickered his gaze on you. “I’ll sign them.”

You glared at him. “Be serious.”

“I am serious.”

“Are you?”

You were still suspicious, but at the same time, you had high hopes.

“Yes. But I need to meet Ben the bank clerk first.”

Your spirits dropped. “Oh, no, no, no,” you made a huge cross sign with your arms, “you are not giving me another condition just to go against your word in the end.”

“I won’t this time.”

“Yeah, right.” You scoffed loudly.

It was his turn to narrow his eyes at you. “I’m serious. You want my signature or not?”

You bit the insides of your cheeks, gazing at him.

You were no fool, you knew why he wanted to meet him; you knew that it was because he wanted to see it for himself if the guy you replaced him for was actually more good looking than him or at least appeared as if he could survive a fistfight if Jungkook prompted to start one. It was all testosterone and ego, and you contemplated cutting his balls just to get this over with once and for all.

Surely, by then, he would be more agreeable.

“Fine,” you told him. “If you meet him, you’ll sign the papers? Promise?”

He took a sip of his beer, shrugging. “Sure.”

***

Jungkook watched the scene unfold in front of him with an amused expression.

Although he did admit it once that he did get a bit jealous whenever you gave the other guys more attention than him, he loved his best pals too much to care.

It was why he allowed instances like this to happen wherein you made it apparent that you valued their company much more than you did Jungkook. It was evident in the manner in which you laughed loudly as Hoseok, Yoongi, and Namjoon hugged you, each one of them taking turns in lifting your body off the ground a few seconds in glee.

You were seen as a beloved sister to them as they saw Jungkook as a cherished brother in the Navy.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Jungkook reckoned after five seconds.

Namjoon glanced at him, the last one to embrace you. “Jealous?” he teased, reading his mind.

“I am, actually.” Jungkook affirmed. “You three got a better greeting than I did.”

You rolled your eyes at the pettiness of his comment. “That’s because there’s nothing good about seeing you again, Jungkook.”

Jungkook glanced at you. “You wound me, babe.” He placed a dramatic hand on his chest. “Truly, you do.”

The guys stifled a laugh.

Today’s agenda was supposed to be a catch up session with the three guys. News spread quickly yesterday that you were in town thanks to Hoseok, and given that the three of them were good friends of yours, you didn’t decline the offer when Jungkook informed you that they wanted to meet you while you were here.

So, as the next day came in and the evening rolled, they met up with you at the same resto-bar Hoseok found you in. It did seem like the only venue that was both near enough from the academy and the hotel you were staying at that offered adequate food. You observed that the occupants of the place were composed primarily of people wearing naval aviator uniforms or motorcyclists stopping by before going forth with their ride.

“So,” Yoongi began just as Jungkook headed to the counter, volunteering to relay all of your orders to the barmaid, “we heard from a little birdie that you’re seeing someone else.”

You gave him a look. “Still a big gossip, I see.”

“Oh, it’s not counted as gossip if it’s what Jungkook’s been complaining about the whole time at the showers,” Namjoon humored.

Hoseok agreed with a nod. “It’s what he’s been nonstop yapping about earlier when we were flying,” he said. “Seriously, ____. Release the boy from misery and just get back together.”

They watched you grimace. “You all know my relationship with Jungkook has been long complicated for it to be as easy as that.”

“Did he cheat on you?” Namjoon asked.

“No, of course not.” You scoffed. “He’s an annoying shit for the most part but he’s not a cheater.”

He physically relaxed at the confirmation. “Good, because I don’t think I can beat him in a fistfight.”

Yoongi chuckled. “What’s the matter then? You still haven’t spared us any details on why you’re so keen to divorce him.”

“There’s no particular reason,” you sighed with a throw of your hand. “It’s just a compilation of the small things. He’s away most of the time, I’m away most of the time when he’s available—we fight a lot, argue a lot, it just doesn’t seem to be worth fighting for anymore.”

“So, you don’t love him anymore?”

“I…” you trailed, abruptly feeling like you were being interrogated, “I mean, love doesn’t go away easily. And it hasn’t been that long since we called it quits.”

The three men shared a look among themselves.

You straighten your posture. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What does?” Hoseok queried.

“That look you guys just gave each other. I don’t like it.”

“That’s just their faces, babe,” Jungkook reappeared, taking the liberty to take the seat on your right. “What are you fellas talking about?” he asked his buddies.

They didn’t dare utter a word. You were under the impression that they had an understanding between them that talking about your relationship right in Jungkook’s face was something one should not ought to do.

You, on the other hand, took it as your cue to speak, starting another topic to hopefully erase the previous one. “Ben said he can come. He’s boarding tonight,” you told Jungkook as he’s sipping from his glass of service water.

“That’s good.” He didn’t look as interested as he was yesterday.

“Who’s Ben?” It was Hoseok again.

“The bank clerk,” Jungkook answered.

“The new guy you’re seeing?” Yoongi asked you.

“Yep,” you said before turning to Jungkook. “And can you please refer to him by his name? He’s not just a bank clerk.”

“Is he a boring bank clerk?” Jungkook asked, that teasing smirk flashing on his mouth.

“Will he be here tomorrow?” Namjoon chimed in.

You nodded. “Hopefully.”

“Great,” Jungkook placed his glass down on the table. “It’ll be enough time to get to know him.”

He said ‘enough time’ like his time was limited because it really was. He informed you before you parted ways yesterday that he was graduating from the academy this Friday, and that after that, he was almost 100% sure he was going to be deployed again with some of his classmates for a mission that you wouldn’t be allowed to know the details of. 

Your stomach somersaulted when he told you that.

Somehow, despite convincing yourself that you no longer cared for Jungkook, the thought of his life being put at risk again once he was back on the field made you want to vomit in anxiety. It reminded you that his very dangerous occupation was one of the root causes of your separation, for there were months wherein you couldn’t take the fear of waiting in uncertainty on whether he was going to come home to you or not, regardless of how he promised he would every single time.

It was funny, you thought. One of your similarities with your husband was that the both of you were adrenaline junkies. You and him bonded over extreme rides in amusement parks, activities that got your heart pumping and gave you the sensation of being on top of the world—and yet it was the reason why you didn’t want to be with him anymore as well, too scared to continue loving him if he always sought for adventure and danger through being a naval aviator.

“You knew what you were signing up for, ____,” he told you during one of your many arguments. “You entered this relationship knowing the nature of my job. You can’t expect to adjust for you when it comes to—”

“I’m not expecting you to adjust for me, Kook,” you replied in exasperation, practically begging him to listen to you with an open mind at that point. “God, I just want you to consider me. I just want to feel that for once, you actually remember that someone’s always waiting for you to come home.”

Whenever conversations like that popped back inside your memory, you forced yourself to push it away. It wasn’t an experience you wanted to relive. You’ve spent far too many nights just crying because of how it felt like to be in a constant state of worry for the person you found yourself loving the most.

“We can all meet him, right?” asked Hoseok, looking at the other guys for back up. 

You surveyed them, raising your eyebrows before saying your answer.

“Like the hell you would.”

[jedi-luca]

Chapter Sixteen: Lover

Summary: You and your wife Quinn move your family outside of New York City to Avenger Lane; a small private suburbia. There you face your toughest obstacle of your marriage. Will your marriage with Quinn be strong enough when a certain redheaded beauty captures your attention? 

Parings: Natasha x Reader

Warnings: Smut and fluff, Reader has a Penis

Previous Chapter

You were both driving down the road a couple hours in with your hand down Natasha’s yoga pants playing with her clit.

“Y/N.” She whimpered.

She was drenched and your fingers were covered in her goo.

Every now and then right before she’d cum you’d bring them in your mouth.

“Hmm you’re sooo delicious.” You’d smirk. 

“Can you please pull over? Please daddy?” 

“You know we can't, someone will catch us.”

“It won’t take me long, I just need you deep inside of me.” She husked near your ear.

You smirked and she reached over palming your hard on. 

“Or I can maybe go down on you for a bit?” Natasha smirked, biting her lip.

“Hmm, no too dangerous.”

She unzipped your jeans pulling your cock out from your briefs. “Hmmm.” 

“Baby- oh fuck!” You swerved a bit as she began to bob her head.

You slowed down a bit using one hand to go beneath her yoga pants and finger fuck her just to sedate her a bit.

You looked at the GPS. You still had another hour and a half.

“Shiiiit.” You sighed feeling her tongue licking you up in all the right places.

“I can’t wait until we’re there. I'm gonna ride you like never before.”

“Oh fuck.” You groan, feeling yourself cuming already. 

You see an empty scenic view and pull over. Yanking her in the back seat, pulling her yoga pants down, and bending her over. You enter her and start thrusting.

“Yessss fuck yess finally! I knew I’d convince you.”

“Yeah you always get what you want.”

“Hmhm and I want this dick baby. So fucking bad.”

“Shit!” You slap her ass and she pushes you back so she can sit on you.

“Fuuuuuuck. Yesss.” She hugged the seat in front of her and began to slam her ass down over and over again and again.

“Oh fuck Natasha I’m gonna cum baby if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum!”

She smirked and repeated that motion again and again. Until she slammed down one last time wiggling on you back and forth until you were both hitting that sweet high..

“Oh fuck.” you panted melting against the backseat watching how she lifted herself up and let your cum fall against your cock. She scooted over getting in her knees making sure to swallow every last bit of your honey. 

“Fuck, you are just so sexy I could keep going forever.” You pant.

“Hmm, save it for the cabin, come on baby.” She smirked, hopping out of the truck. “We need another picture in front of this view!”

“Whatever you want.” You mumble pulling your pants up. 

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

“Wow.” You say driving up to the cabin you thought would be a quaint little spot in the woods.

“Whoa.” 

It was a massive cabin overlooking the sea and the woods.

“It’s beautiful.” Natasha said, stepping out of the truck leaning against you.

You both made your way up the stairs to the door opening it revealing a very modern cabin.

“Wow.” You said again looking around. “Umm, I’ll grab the things.”

“I can help.”

“Nah Nat you get comfortable, look around, relax.“

“I’m not letting you unload all of that by yourself. Now come on.” She glared, leading you outside.

You began unloading the truck letting her take in the suitcases and you grabbed the coolers. 

“Are these all mine?” She smirked, coming back out to see her gifts in a neat pile.

“Yes.” You grinned.

She smirked taking those inside. Realizing you won’t need the wood you left it inside the bed and trailed after her. 

You both put everything away when you finally came together holding one another as you looked around.

“What should we do now?” Natasha kinked her brow wrapping her arms around your neck.

“Well I was thinking of a hike and dinner later?”

“Did you say hike?” Natasha’s brows furrow.

“Yes.” You chuckled. “Tony mentioned it’s really close to the cabin and the view is breathtaking.”

“What happened to ripping my clothes off and taking my breath away between the sheets?” She smirked.

“Oh I still plan on that.” You smirk. “Come on, I promise you won’t regret it.”

She kisses you softly and nods. “Okay baby let’s go.”

“Before we do I got you this for the hike.”

Natasha grinned, taking one of her presents, opening it on the sofa. “Trying to keep me warm so I don’t take your hoodie again?” She smirks, taking out a Patagonia jacket and a beanie.

“You can always wear my hoodies.” You laugh.

“Thank you, I love it. It’s my favorite color too.” She pecks your cheek. 

You throw on your hiking boots, and your jacket on.

“You look so cute in those boots.” She smirks. “They look cool too, almost like sneakers. I love the tan with the teal.” 

“Thanks.” You grin.

“I almost forgot. I’m dating a jock.”

“Nat, you teach ballet!”

“Exactly, I hardly do any cardio and barely lift 45 pounds. I’m not an athlete like you. I’ve seen you lift, jog, playing football, soccer, basketball, and baseball! You even box, and don’t get me started on how long you can make love to me.”

“How have you seen me-“ You chuckle.

“You forget that the internet is forever. You have videos on YouTube that your coach uploaded.”

“Oh wow! Had no idea.” You raise your brows.

“Ugh, I’m in love with jock.” 

You huff slapping her ass.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

You and Natasha were walking up the trail occasionally nodding to other couples coming down.

“Okay, it’s really cold, but it’s not too bad.” She admitted as you both passed through the pines.

You grinned, lifting up her hand giving it a smooch. “If you’re extra cold let me know you can use my jacket too.”

“Sweetie, I’m wearing a sweater that you got me, the jacket, a beanie, and a scarf. I’m okay I promise. You forget I’m Russian.”

You snort and she slaps your arm. “Got something to say?”

“You weren’t even there long!”

“I was born in the winter! Ass.”

You both laughed and continued your trek.

“I promise you once we make it up to the top which isn’t much further it’ll be breathtaking.”

She looked over at you and smiled, kissing your hand too. “I’m sure it will be.”

Soon a family came around the corner, the daughter on her mothers shoulders and their little boy hand in hand with his other mommy.

They waved at you both.

“Hi!” The little girl smiled brightly.

“Hi!” You and Natasha chuckled.

“Ugh, she was so cute.” Natasha, whined looking up at you.

“That she is.”

“Baby?” 

“Hm?” 

“You know I can’t give you more baby’s right?”

“I know.” You say kissing her hand.

“It’s just I still want them, and I know you do too.”

“I know love I just figured… you were adopted. There’s so many kids out there looking for good parents. That’s us. Think of how happy we could make them? Plus we still have Beth and Fin.” You wink.

Natasha leans against you and you wrap an arm around her. “You know I wish I could, right?”

You stop walking and pull her against you. “You not being able to does not change how I feel about you not one bit. Okay? Even if you didn’t want kids and you just wanted to help me with mine, that's enough for me. I love you Natalia, all of you.

Natasha blinked away a tear and you brushed it away. She nodded and you hugged her close, kissing her head.

“You wanna keep going?”

“Yes.” She nodded with a sniffle. You took out your handkerchief and handed it to her. “Thank you baby.” Natasha placed it in her pocket and took your hand as you began your hike once more.

Soon an older couple and their dog walked by.

“Do you think Quinn will let you have Ollie?”

“Yes.” You nod.

“I’m sure Leho would like a friend.” She smiled. “I can’t wait until you move in with me baby.”

“Yeah?”

“God yes. Seeing you tinkering around the house. Fixing things and making things for me. Doing everything with you sounds like heaven to me.”

You grin, kissing her hand once more.

“Y/N, who else knows about us?”

“Everyone knows.”

“Even your parents.”

“Even my parents.”

“Do they hate me?”

“No baby they don’t hate you Quinn on the other hand.” You cringed. “Nat, I didn’t divorce Quinn just because I was in love with you. I divorced her because of everything she did to me.”

“Good.”

“But you are the reason I sped it up.” You chuckled.

She smirked.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” She laughed.

“How many people have you been with?”

“Y/N Y/L/N!”

“I was just wondering, I mean I’ve only ever been with Quinn.”

“I’ve only been with one other person besides you and that was Bruce. It was a one time thing. I was stupid I thought maybe he felt something for me, and I thought maybe I did too but it was all for show he wanted Betty.” She shook her head. 

“But how did you know you couldn’t have kids?”

“A couple years ago I thought about insemination. They ran different tests and just found that my eggs were just infertile.” She sighed. “They highly recommended for me not to try IVF. They said that it would cause severe depression when the negative results would come in, and not only that but the effects on my body would be too much.”

“I’m sorry love.”

“Don’t be, I probably should have told you a while ago.”

You’re walking a bit more and she speaks up.

“Okay now I have a question.”

“Alright.” You chuckled.

“Do you wish you would have taken some time to be alone before being with me?”

“Fuck no.” You laughed. “Are you kidding me?”

“I’m just making sure you said you’ve only been with Quinn. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. More than half the women on our block want to be with you.”

“You’ve only been with Bruce.” You raised your brow.

“And now you.”

“Same I have you.” You smirked.

She laughed and nodded. “Touché.”

“Look baby, we made it.” You grinned seeing the sign as you began to round the corner.

“Oh wow.” She sighed seeing the view. You sat her down on the rock nearby holding her from behind.

You looked over hearing a guy singing Lover by Taylor Swift with his guitar to his boyfriend.

‘Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover’

Natasha sighed against your chest turning her chin to kiss your cheek. “I love you. I’m so happy that we’re finally together.”

“Me too.” You smile.

“I love this song.” She grins. “It makes me think of you.” You squeeze her a little tighter keeping her warm.

As the song ends she pats your arm and stands to take a photo of the view.

You walk over when he finishes. “Hi my name is Y/N and I was wondering if I could play a song for my girl over there. I’m gonna propose.”

“Oh my gosh of course!” He grinned, handing you his guitar. “Would you like us to record you?”

“If you don’t mind.” You say handing him your phone.

You threw the strap over your neck and began finding your tune. Natasha turns around to sit with you only to see you strumming.

She blushed as you started singing a song walking towards her.

“I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do is grow old with you”

Natasha couldn’t help but cry.

“They’re proposing!”

“Oh my gosh they’re proposing!” You hear people  hissing as they pull out they’re phones.

“I'll get you medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh, it could be so nice, growing old with you”

It was blistering cold up on that mountain too but you were keeping her warm with your words.

“I'll miss you

Kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you

Feed you

Even let you hold the remote control”

You walked up to her getting down on one knee.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink

Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink

Oh, I could be the one who grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you.”

Natasha sniffles wiping away her tears as you take the guitar off. The gentleman who it belongs to quietly comes over taking it from you and begins strumming the chords to All My Life by K-Ci & JoJo.

“My love, From the moment we met, I knew there was something truly special about you. You’ve brought so much joy, laughter, and love into my life, and every day with you is a new adventure. Your kindness, strength, and unwavering support have shown me what true love really is. I can’t imagine my life without you by my side. You have become my best friend, my confidant, and the love of my life. Every moment we’ve shared has been a beautiful memory, and I want to create countless more with you. Today, I kneel before you with a heart full of love and a promise of forever. Will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my partner for life? Will you marry me?”

You open the velvet emerald box revealing a golden band with a large emerald and diamonds surrounding the stone.

“Yes baby.” She cried. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” You placed the ring back on her finger and stood up kissing her. You wrapped your arms around her swaying to the music.

“That was so beautiful.” One of the women said, wiping her tears. “I got it on video for you guys.” 

“Same!” Another guy grinned:

“Thank you.” Natasha smiled.

“Congratulations.” The guitarist smiled clapping with the crowd. His boyfriend handed you your phone.

The people who filmed it air dropped it to your phone, and left you both to watch the sea from the rock.

“That was beautiful.” Natasha grinned leaning against your chest as she admired the ring. “I don’t know how I’m going to top that.”

“Does that mean you’re going to propose to me?” You chuckled, tickling her sides.

“That’s what we should do in town! Let’s find you a ring.” She gasped

“I was kidding, baby.”

“Well I’m not.” She pecked your cheek.

“Alright princess whatever you want.”

“Did you pack a snack?”

“Fuck I didn’t.”

“Y/N.” She huffed.

“I know I’m sorry baby. Come on, let's head back to the cabin. I’ll make you dinner.

“I’m hungry.” She sighed.

You stopped by a family eating.

“Hi I’m sorry to bug you but I just proposed to my fiancé over there, and I did not pack snacks. Could I buy some-“

“Take it.” The man shook his head handing you a couple granola bars, fruit snacks, and water bottles.

“Thank you seriously, thank you.”

“No worries. Don’t wanna make her upset already.” He chuckled.

You ran off after Natasha.

“Honey!” You called after her.

“I’m hungry, I'm not stopping.”

“Baby, I got you snacks.”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah! Look! Here hon.” You open the water for her and then open her granola bar.

Watching her completely drink half the bottle and eat the bar before starting on the fruit snacks.

“Feel better?” You ask, feeling her cheeks.

She nods, looking almost embarrassed. “Y/N, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why, I got so upset with you.”

“Well we had a light lunch and went on a mile and a half hike.”

“Still.” 

“You want some more?” You ask, holding up the snacks.

“No baby I’m better now thank you.”

“Okay.” You stuff them in your pockets and take her hand as you both walk back towards the cabin.

“I’m sorry, I got so upset with you like that, and right after you proposed and said all those sweet things.”

“It’s okay! You didn’t have breakfast and we only had a salad for lunch. How about we have a nice dinner? I didn’t get to make you dinner last night like I wanted and now we can celebrate.”

“Fancy dinner huh?” Natasha grinned. “Yeah okay but I didn’t really bring a dress baby.” 

“Wellll.” You bit your lip. 

“You didn’t! Y/N!”

“It’s your birthday, come on!”

She smiles bashfully.

When you finally get to the cabin you hand her the gift bags.

She raised her brow and took the bags before going upstairs, and you quickly showered. Then cook dinner before changing into your suit.

“Wow. Stunning.” You grinned as she walked in.

“Did you shop for this?”

“Kurt made it.” You chuckled.

“I thought so. It’s gorgeous.”

You grabbed a glass of champagne and handed it to Natasha before returning to the stove to plate the steaks and the mashed potatoes with veggies.

“This looks amazing.” She smiles cutting into her steak.

You both smile, enjoying the music and the food. More importantly, you’ve both never been happier than this moment of course having your daughters but this is up there. You’ve finally found your soul mate.

“That was really good, thank you.” Natasha kissed your hand as you put the dishes away in the dishwasher.

“I may have bought an extra pie at that diner.” You chuckled, going to the fridge.

“Yesss.” Natasha grinned as you cut a couple slices. You both ate them moaning at how good they were. 

“Best pie ever.” You snicker as she smooches you lips.

“I don’t think I can keep eating please put this away.” She chuckled as you put the pie away.

As she fixed her lipstick you put on You and Me by Penny & The Quarters. 

“Dance with me.” You smile offering your hand.

The redhead smiles bashfully before taking your hand and standing.

Natasha leans up kissing your lips as you sway to the music.

“Y/N?” She says as the song ends.

“Hm?” You hum looking down at her.

“Make love to your fiancé.”

You snatched your phone up and lifted her up bridal style making your way up the stairs to the bedroom. 

“Practicing?”

You chuckled walking through the threshold. You set her on the bed before turning on the fireplace.

You shrugged off your suit jacket only for her to turn around. 

“Unzip me.” She looked back at you.

“Kurt did a tremendous job with this dress. You look gorgeous.” You said, unzipping it slowly letting Natasha step out of it only to see her in lingerie from what you only assumed Carol got her.

“Do you want me to thank Carol too?” She husked turning around. 

“Yes please.” You gulp.

“Take off that suit for me baby.” She says walking over in heels towards the chaise in front of the fire. You undo your buttons and take off your suspenders before shrugging off your dress shirt.

“God, I love your muscles Y/N. The way your veins lead down to my lolly is one of my favorite things.”

You can feel yourself throbbing as you take off your shoes and socks. Then slowly take off your dress pants revealing your black briefs. Your hungness just outlined in a way that makes her mouth salivate for you.

“Come here.” She beckons you, eyeing you like a lioness and her prey. 

You place your knee on the chaise and her hands cup your ass cheeks squeezing them as her lips go for your veins that she covets. Leaving a trail of lipstick on your body. A brief thought came to mind of getting her signature lips tattooed along your lower half. Just as a little reminder when you’re away from her.

Your cock twitches feeling the cool wedding ring you put on her finger against your abs. You cup the back of her head and she kisses your forearm. 

“I got you another present.” You smirked looking down.

“Baby that’s too corny.” She rolled her eyes.

“No, I mean it look.” She pulled down the waist bad of your briefs bringing them down on your knees when she noticed her name right above your cock.

Natalia’s saddle

“When did you get this?”

“When I was in Tokyo.” You chuckled.

“Oh my gosh. Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I wanted to, but the tattooist said it’d be hotter if you found it yourself.”

She laughed and nodded before kissing it.

“They weren’t wrong.” She eyed it.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes daddy I love it. That’s actually really fucking hot. What made you do this?”

“Well me and the boys got really drunk with some Japanese business men, and well (pleasedontgetmad) one of them may have sent a sex worker to my room. So I left and went straight to a tattoo shop and got this instead. After I went to a jeweler and got your ring made.”

Natasha chuckled, shaking her head.

“There’s a lot to do there at night.” You grinned.

“I love you.” She chuckled.

“I love you too…” you dangled your jangles in front of her. “Now do you want your lolly or not cause, baby, I really want my tongue in your pussy. My mouth is watering for you.”

She smirked going back to her task at hand looking at the words. “Wait, how did I not notice this when we had sex this morning in the shower?”

“You’re kind of oblivious when I’m fucking you silly.” You chuckle and shit lightly bites you. “Ahhhhh I’m sorry!” You Hiss. The pain quickly faded as you felt immense pleasure as she began to bob her head and swirl her tongue and hand around your shaft.

You watched as your fiancé licked you up and down. God that felt great to say. Fiancé. Your future wife. Natasha Romanoff Y/L/N. You picked up your phone and began recording your newly dubbed fiancé.

“Gah damn, my beautiful fiancé Mrs. Natasha Y/L/N. Going to fucking town.”

She looked up at your phone smirking as she completely choked you down.

“Hmmm.” You caressed her chin. “I love you baby.”

She slowly bobbed her head before letting you go with a pop. “I love you too, daddy. So much I can’t wait to marry you.” She husked still licking you as she pumped your cock.

“I can’t wait to marry you baby…. Damn Nat you know just how I like it…Can daddy lick you now?”

“No daddy, I wanna taste your honey first.” She smirked seeing you twitch in her hand precum oozing out.

“Fuck!” You groaned. “What if we both 69ned?”

“Uhuh, no, I wanna focus on you my fiancé.” She got on her knees sitting you down and began sucking on your sack.

“Oh my-!” You groaned, pulling her hair back.

She let go before going back to your member bringing her bralette up so her breasts can hold you between them.

“Shit baby.” You watched as she pumped your cock with her breasts and your tip into your mouth.

“Alright baby, come here.” You stood up and stroked your cock a bit letting the tip hit her lips a bit. She opened her mouth moaning as she sucked you harder and harder.

You held her head in place and began fucking her throat. You hissed as you felt her tonsils around your dick. Her moaning vibrates you enough to cum. Your toes curled and her hands cupped your cheeks. You pulled out and she held out her tongue before swallowing.

“Hmmm.” You hummed as she sucked you a little bit more before you spoke up. “Alright you got your honey now let me have mine.” You smirked handing her the phone.

“Oh I’m the cameraman now?” She smirked. As you laid her down against the tacky bearskin rug.

“Oh yeah I’m watching this shit when I have to leave for work and you can’t come with me.”

“That’s pretty hot, you watching us as porn.”

“Ain’t it?”

“You’ll have to make me a copy. I might even need a mold of your cock made so when you’re away from me I can still have you inside of me.”

“You got it princess.” You look up with a smirk.

You kiss up her thighs and leave a small kiss against her folds before letting your tongue peek through.

“Hmmm.” You groan, finally tasting her and hearing her moan. “You taste so good baby girl.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes baby so fucking good I could lick you up all day. Fuck I’m already hard for you.” You flex your back and continue licking her up and down and side to side. This time spelling out the words I’m going to marry you & I love you.

“Ohhhhh daddy!” She moans, setting the camera up to film you both. 

“You need both hands huh?” You chuckled.

“Hmhm.” She whines.

“That’s okay my love I just want you to cum and cum hard.” You say before diving back in. You lift up her ass so you can get to her ass and move aside her lacy thong.

“Hmmmm!” You hummed causing her to giggle. You go back to her clit sucking and licking.

You feel her begin to hump your face, her moaning grows so you pick up the pace stuffing your face with her pussy. She lets out a strangle moan and stiffens against you as she cums undone.

You sit up wiping your mouth letting your cock bathe in her pool.

She whines making grabby hands at you.

“Hmm.” You sigh feeling her heat and wetness along your staff.

You lay against her, kissing her softly.

“You like your taste? Cause I fuckin do.”

She giggled and kissed you again.

“You always make me feel so good daddy.”

“That’s my goal baby girl.”

“That’s my goal tonight too. You always make me cum over and over again and again. I’m riding you until I can’t anymore daddy.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Hmhm call me the pussy monster.”

You chuckled darkly. “Hmm I’m gonna make this pussy squirt.”

“Baby not on their bear skin rug, it'll ruin it.”

“Oh come on babe.”

“Fine but get towels.”

You stood up and ran off and she turned towards the camera.

“Hmmm, I love you baby," she blew the camera kiss. “I miss you so much. Come home to me.” 

You fold a couple towels beneath her bottom.

You lay between her legs slowly holding them up. 

“Ahhh!” You both moan as you push inside of her just half way. You slowly push again, hitting her spot.

“Daddy.” She whimpers, pulling you down to kiss her.

“Daddy’s got you baby girl. You’re taking me so well. Hmm… I’m gonna make you fucking cum so hard love.”

“Oh baby!” Natasha moans and you lean down leaving marks against her skin.

“You’re so smooth.” You whispered taking off her lingerie freeing her breasts hearing the redhead moan at the action her hips rocking against your cock. “You’re so beautiful.” You kiss her once more before pulling apart. “And sweet.” You pull out and pull her thong off but leaving her garter on. She sat up and made you lay down this time.

“Aww baby I wanted to make you squirt first.”

“Who says I can’t do that myself?” She smirks down at you lifting her leg to straddle you. “Let me on my saddle.” 

“You’re wish is my command princess.” You grunt with a smirk on your face.

She took your phone and smirk. “You’re gonna wanna see this from this angle daddy I promise.” She sets the phone behind her where you won’t kick it.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” She panted as she begins to ride the tip of your cock. Her jaw slacked as she hit her spot.

“That’s it baby fuck yourself on daddy’s cock. How does it feel?”

“Soooo fucking good!” She groaned, You reached up massaging her breasts.

You hiss as she lowers herself and begins to ride you. She really was not lying when she said like never before. She’s angling your cock with each motion looking for that perfect spot. Her moans haven’t stopped the moment she started riding you; they only keep growing. Even her accent is starting to show.

“Ohhhhh yesssss! Ohhhh yesssssss! Fuuuuck! Yesss daddddy!” She’s pounding you at this point, her ass bouncing against your hips, her accent is full on out. 

“Fuck Natasha.” You groaned seeing your creams seep down to your balls as she rode you. The squelching sound turned you both on to no end. She arched her back, slowing her pace before slamming back down on your cock.

“I want you to fuck me like this all the time.” She bit her lip looking down at you squirming. She lifted up seeing all your cum seeping out of her pussy and down on your cock. Watching your staff and abs twitch from the after shocks. She slides you right back inside of her.

“Ahhhhhhh.” You both groan.

“I wanna be with you everyday for the rest of my life baby.” You admit sitting up with her in your lap.

“Oh God Y/N!” Her mouth turned into an ‘O’ as she twitched against your member.

“Natasha!” You groan hold her close.

Natasha smirked, pushing you back down, wiggling on your hardened member.

You groaned at the feel.

She kissed you softly, moving her hips again. “Oh baby you’re so sweet and loving. Kind and caring. I can’t wait to be your wife.” Her movements picked up pace. You were both so close already. 

“Natalia.” You sighed against her lips. “I’m in love with you.” She looked into your eyes with tears forming.

“I love you too Y/N. So much.” Her movements were now fast and sloppy. You helped her bounce on your cock. When she fell on top of you letting her ass do the work. You palmed her ass cheek before slapping it. That always does it for her. She was now over the edge babbling your name as she rode you. She cried as her pussy constricted around you. 

“Oh fuuuck!” You moaned out, feeling your seed shoot out.

She yelled out your name lifting off your meat as her pussy became a fire hydrant.

“Ahhhhhhh!” She hissed as the liquid ran down against your abs.

She grabbed your cum ridden cock and stuffed you back inside her once more.

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit babbyyyy!” You groaned as she started riding you once more. She’s the fucking pussy monster.

“I told you I was going to ride you like never before.”

“I’m not complaining. As far as I’m concerned this is your saddle, this is your dick baby.” You chuckled and massaged her ass, groping it before letting your hands wander her body.

“All this is mine now huh?” She smirked looking down at you.

“I’m all yours fiancé.”

“Hmm, mine.” She groaned as she sped up her pace. Her hands going down your abs as they twitched beneath her finger tips.

She muttered some words in Russian and began slamming down on your cock. “Yesssss yesss yesss!” She moaned cumming around you. She lifted up a bit letting you see the way your seed shot inside of her.

“Ahhhh!” Groaning you began cuming inside of her. You pivoted your hips and she chuckled as you thrusted inside of her.

You both groaned, riding the wave of your orgasms. She sighed, feeling completely filled up with your cum.

The redheaded beauty falls against your chest in a heaving sweaty mess. Natasha began kissing your shoulder down to your heart. You nudged her forehead with your nose getting her to meet your lips. “I’m so in love with you.”

“You have absolutely no idea how I longed to hear those words come from those lips.” She burrowed deeply into you still kissing your skin.

You look down, bringing her back in a kiss.

“Hmm you better not start something you can’t finish cause baby I could ride you all day.” She grins against your lips wiggling her hips against your cock. 

“Fuck.” You groaned before rolling over on top of her.

“Hmm.” She giggled as you playfully peppered her with kisses before reaching over to stop the recording.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

You woke up with Natasha’s head on your chest. Her legs tangled in yours. You looked down smirking at the lipstick on your body.

You held her closer and kissed her head whispering how much you loved her before slowly letting her go.

“Noooo.” Natasha whined reaching out for you. “Baby where are you going?”

“I just wanted to go for a trail run.”

“Hnhn.” She groaned holding you.

“Come with me?”

“You’re funny.” Her voice is still gravely from sleep, not to mention the amount of moaning and screaming she did all night.

“Come on the hike was beautiful on this seaside mountain range. Imagine the jog?” You coo cuddling against her.

“Is that what you really want to do? To be in the blistering cold? Running away from bears? Orrr stay here with your fiancé and christen the rest of Starks cabin?” Natasha lifted the blanket off showing you her porcelain body.

“Ooohh you drive a hard bargain tiny dancer.” You say in a southern twang. Natasha yanks you back down complaining about how it’s 6 in the morning, and you’ve only gone to sleep a couple hours ago. “You’re lucky I love you.” She chuckles.

“I really am.” you say softly placing her hair out of her face admiring her beauty before leaving a soft peck against her lips.

She hums against your chest.

“All this feels strange and untrue, and I won't waste a minute without you.”

Natasha smiles against your chest feeling the hum of your voice.

“My bones ache, my skin feels cold, and I'm getting so tired and so old. The anger swells in my guts, and I won't feel these slices and cuts. I want so much to open your eyes. 'Cause I need you to look into mine.”

Your fiancé pushes up a bit to see you looking at her.

“Tell me that you'll open your eyes.” You sing, pushing her hair behind her ear. She leans in kissing your lips softly before singing back to you.

“Get up, get out, get away from these liars. 'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire. Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine, and we'll walk from this dark room for the last time.”

You grin lazily and sing with her.

“Every minute from this minute now. We can do what we like anywhere. I want so much to open your eyes. 'Cause I need you to look into mine.

Tell me that you'll open your eyes. Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ‘Cause all this feels strange and untrue, and I won't waste a minute without you.”

“I love it when you sing to me.” She whispers as you roll her over and cuddle her.

“I love singing with you.” 

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

A few hours later Natasha re-awoke seeing you reading.

“You’re sexy when you read.” She yawns, stretching against your body as you set your book down.

“You’re making blush.” You smirk as she pecks your lips.

“I’m sorry I slept so long.” She yawned again.

“It’s okay, I put you in a sex coma.” You chuckle.

She drapes her body over yours humming at the feel of your body against hers. “You most certainly did.” Her body is covered in chills as your fingers graze her skin.”

“You hungry love? I can make us breakfast. Then if you want we can head into town. Pepper, was telling me about some shops you might like.”

She smiled at you caressing your chin. “Sounds like you have the day planned.”

“Oh don’t worry baby I fully intend to come back and make vigorous love to you. Once my dick heals.” You grin, leaning in to kiss her lips.

“What’s wrong?” She furrows her brows cutely if you may add as she looks down raising the sheets to see your flacid cock.

“It’s just a little raw.” You hiss as she touches it, lifting it up.

“Stop. Really?” She giggles.

“Okay, first: no giggling while you are looking or touching my dick.” She drops you and laughs harder against your chest. “Secondly, yeah it’s raw honey you fucked my brains out last night.”

“I will never laugh at my saddle baby. I promise you are very well endowed in that department, and secondly I believe we both fucked each others brains out. You put me in a sex coma, and my body is littered with marks.”

You hiss, feeling yourself inflated at her comments.

“Seriously?” She smirks.

“What? My soldier likes compliments.” You chuckle cringing a bit.

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“Thanks baby.” Natasha smiled, wiping her mouth.

“You’re welcome.” You wiggle your brows. Standing up with your plate along with hers. You quickly rinsed the plates and placed them in the dishwasher.

“Wanna go to town?” She asked, standing up her hand against your chest.

“On you? Fuck yeah.” You smirked turning around in her arms

“You still need to heal.” She raises her brow. “Now let’s go into town, get you a ring and maybe look around then have some lunch.”

“Damn not even a quickie? I can just make it about you.”

She glared at you.

“Kidding.” You chuckled, and led her to the truck.

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“What about this one?” she pointed out.

“Eh.”

“Okay well what about this one? It goes with the pinky ring you like to wear.”

“Does it?”

“I think so.”

You looked at it not so sure.

“Well if you want when we get home we can try again? You can bring it with you.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. 

Natasha nodded a little put out that you didn’t see anything you liked.

“I did like these work out bands though.”

“Yeah?” She smiles looking down.

“I have matching sets if you’d like.” The jeweler smiles.

“How about the green ones?” You say.

“Yeah I like those.” Natasha smiles.

“That’s it then.” You grin.

“I’ll take them.” She grins, taking out her wallet just as you do. “Sweetie, if you don’t put that away, I’ll nut punch you like you did Scott.”

“And putting this back in my pocket.” You say pursing your lips.

“Good choice.” The jeweler chuckles. “Gotta take care of the jewels.”

You walk out with a forest green ring until she can take you to another jeweler.

Natasha takes you into each shop. It's when she drags you into a kids store that gets you frowning. You see her grabbing Bluey items.

“Babe, what are you doing?”

“Well I’m getting Fin some stuff for her room. We need to probably take out the bed, and get her a twin but we can do that when we get home.”

“Baby I can just take some stuff from the house.”

“You will not take one thing from her house.” She said poking your chest. “This is a whole new experience for both the girls that we are throwing them into. They are literally going to be living side by side. They need to have different rooms. It’s important.”

“Okay, I understand that.” You nodded, keeping your voice down. “Nat, hun, I love you and I love that you wanna do this for them, but she and I haven’t even gone into custody discussions yet.”

“Y/N, there’s a good chance our home will be looked at first. They’re gonna want to see that it’s ready for them. You do want them with us right?”

“Of course I do.”

“Okay then we need to set up their rooms. Listen when Lena and I got adopted we were looked at constantly. Trust me this will go a long way. I just want to help us that’s all.”

“Okay. Alright. Let’s do it.”

She smiled, pecking your lips.

“But do we have to spend this much. I love my baby don’t get me wrong but hun kids are fucking expensive.”

“Y/N.” She glared.

“Sorry, I was totally over hearing you both. Kids are fucking expensive this is like $50 cheaper at Target.” The woman explained. “Sorry I’m a mom of 4 and my kids love Bluey. I like to get the little things here sometimes that I can’t find anywhere else, but this comforter set. Is most definitely cheaper anywhere else.”

“You gotta love a bargain as a parent.” You grinned, gesturing to the woman. 

“Ugh so true. They just grow up so fast and the trends change even faster soon it won’t be Bluey anymore.”

“So true with my oldest it was Paw Patrol and then Lego everything, and now it’s sleepovers and don’t talk to me.”

“Oh noo let me guess 12 going on 13?” The mom laughed, nodding. 

“Yes!”

“Oh God, that's the hardest age in my opinion. You’re gonna have a tough time not gonna sugar coat it. Especially cause it sounds like you two just got together sooo she’s probably on her other mothers side?”

“Spot on.” You nod. 

“Yeah it’s best to just ride the roller coaster. Just be there for her. That’s really all you can do. You’re gonna wanna argue you’re gonna wanna ground. It’s best to let her other mother deal with that part. Trust me as my kid screaming at his computer would say “you don’t want no smoke.” She laughed.

You laughed along with her.

“Thank you for the advice.”

“Of course, and congratulations to you two on getting together, and to you on your first.”

“Oh I’m not pregnant.” Natasha shook her head.

“Honey, I’ve been through the ringer four times, about to go through it one last time. I can tell it’s like how people have a gaydar. I have a pregnancy-dar, and you are absolutely glowing.” She laughed. “Anyway you two take care, it was so good to meet you.”

“You too.” You smile and shake her hand and she walks out.

“Wow.” Natasha furrowed her brows.

“She was so nice.”

“Y/N, she called me fat!”

“What?! No she didn’t!”

“She said congratulations on your first.”

“Hun, that does not mean you’re fat!”

“Umm, yesss it does.” Another woman interjected.

“Oh my god.” Her husband groaned.

“Thank you!” Natasha huffed.

“You're beautiful girl!”

“Thank youuu. So are you!” Natasha smiled sweetly.

You massage your temple.

After grabbing Fin and Beth a few things you both moved on to the next store. You sit down by the other husbands and wives as their fems peruse around the boutique.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if they made a spouse nap location.” One of them said, causing all of them to chuckle.

“Honey?”

“Yes?” They all answered automatically until Natasha came out of the rows of clothes furrowing her brows.

You stood walking over.

“What do you think of this?”

She shows you a few dresses and you look them up and down smiling. “I think each of them would look stunning on you love.”

“Thanks baby.” She smiles, pecking your lips. Leading you to the register.

“You hungry?” You ask taking out your wallet.

“Yes but Y/N you don’t need to get this-“

“You bought my girls some stuff so why can’t I buy my fiancé some dresses?” You ask.

“If you two are looking for a place to eat. You really can’t go wrong with any restaurant in town. It really just depends on what sounds good.” The girl checking the items out smiled.

“Italian?” You ask Natasha.

“Yeah that sounds great.”

“There’s Mia’s just a few doors down.”

“Thank you.” You both smile.

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You were both seated relatively quickly.

“Hi, my name is Kelly I’ll be your server today.” A young brunette handed you both a couple of menus and a drink menu.

“Thank you.” You both say.

“I’ll be right back with some bread.”

Natasha looked at you a certain way and you were at a loss.

“What’s wrong? Did you change your mind? Cause it’s okay we can-“

“No, but that girl was totally checking you out.”

“What girl?”

You furrowed your brows in confusion and she chuckled at you. 

“Our server.”

“Kelly?”

“You needed me?” The server asked bringing the bread touching your forearm.

You moved your arm and shook your head. “No.”

“Okay I’ll be back around then. Do you know what you want to drink?”

“Just some water is fine. Baby, you want some wine or something?” You ask Natasha.

“No just a water is fine for now thank you.”

Kelly walked away and Natasha raised her brow at you looking at your arm.

“Yeah okay I see what you mean. Want me to ask for another server?”

Natasha smiled at you and shook her head. “No she can look that’s fine she just can’t touch.”

Soon Kelly was back around with some glasses of waters when she ‘accidentally’ dropped one right on your lap.

“Shit!” You hopped up.

“Oh my goodness I’m so sorry!” She grabbed the napkin and began to press against your dick.

“Stop!!” Natasha huffed, grabbing her arm and pushing her back.

“Whoa! No! Nope! Uhuh no! Let’s go Nat! Not cool Kelly!” You huffed angrily. 

Natasha took your hand and walked out of the restaurant.

“Fuck now it looks like I pissed myself, and it’s fucking cold out here.” You growled.

Natasha took you into the nearest store and bought you some grey sweats and a hoodie.

“Go change.” She nodded.

You sighed, throwing your wet clothes into the plastic bag.

“Thanks babe.”

She hugged you close and kissed you softly. “You feel better.”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

“I’m sorry lunch was ruined, we should have left when she touched my arm.”

“Sweetie don’t apologize for her! She groped you.” Natasha pulled you in another hug. “How about I make you your own pasta?”

“You know how to make pasta?”

“Hmhm.” She smirked.

“Teach me and you got a deal.”

“Let’s go baby.”

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“What do you think?” Natasha asked as you took your first bite.

“Whoa.”

She chuckled.

“It’s so good Nat.” You take a bite of your bread and watch as she begins to eat as well. “I’m the luckiest human on this planet.” You chuckle and she laughs. “I’m marrying the most beautiful, sweetest, sexiest woman in the world. You’re an amazing chef, a model-“ she chuckled. “Became one of my bestfriends, don’t even get me started with what you’re like in the sheets.”

“Y/N.” She laughed.

“And now I’m eating fresh pasta.”

Natasha stood walking over and pecking your lips before going back to her seat.

You both eat and drink in a comfortable silence you’re just about done when you speak up.

“So my parents know about you and I know Yelena knows about us. What about your parents?”

Natasha looks up a little taken back.

“Well to be honest I haven’t spoken to them in a while. I mean I could call them now it’s about 9 PM?”

“Now?”

“Why not? You’re right your parents know and mine should too.” 

Natasha shrugged and stood up to grab her phone. “Fair warning my parents are most likely drunk and are very loud.”

You nod and she walks over and sits on your lap.

“Holy shit you FaceTimed them?” You began to panic.

“They’re going to want to meet you.”

“Baby I’m wearing a hoodie.”

“They don’t care what you’re wearing.” Natasha laughed. “I think you forget Russia is a third world country.”

“Hello?! Little Natalia?!” Alexei answers.

“Alexei, your face is too close to phone pull back!”

“Oh.” 

They fumbled with the phone a bit until Melina snatched it and set it on the table.

“Hello mama papa!” 

“Ohhhh our little Natalia!” Melina smiled with Alexei. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great, really great that’s why I’m calling.”

“Oh?” Alexei snickered only for Melina to smack him.

“How have you two been doing?”

“Oh you know pig farm still the same tell us more.” Melina waved her off.

“Oh motherfucker- Эта маленькая сука сказала тебе, не так ли?” (That little bitch told you didn’t she?!)

“Language Natalia.” Melina sighed and Alexei laughed heartily.

“So it is true our little Natalia found true love and is really getting married this time?! I want to meet them!” Alexie laughed.

“We are so happy for you sweetheart please don’t be mad your sister was just so happy for you, and you never call us.”

“And the guilt trip starts.” Natasha muttered low for you to hear. You rubbed her back. “That was for me to tell you not her!”

“Ahhh it doesn’t matter anymore we know now okay?” Alexie smiled. “Come on now sweetheart don’t be mad we’re happy for you. We’ve always wanted just the best for you.”

“We never liked Bruce.”

“Never liked him one bit.” Alexie spit away from the camera. You gulped a little nervous they would hate you. 

“But Yelena speaks highly of this Y/N.” Melina smiles.

“Says they’ve never seen you this happy ever.”

“Y/N makes me so happy. It's the same feeling I had when Lena and I would catch fireflies. I finally caught mine and I can’t wait to marry them.” Her voice cracked.

“Ohh honey.” Alexie cried and Melina hugged him.

“I actually have Y/N here with me.” Natasha sniffled, setting the phone up so they could see both of you.

They both smiled seeing you appear on the screen Natasha on your lap.

“Hi, Mr. & Mrs. Vostokoff, it’s such an honor to finally meet you both even if it’s just over the phone. Natalia is such an amazing woman and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my days with her.”

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N.” Melina smiles, wiping her tears and Alexie nodded along.

“I know Natasha and Yelena have been working hard to bring you both back to America. I might not know too much about immigration law, but I promise I’ll do my best to help as much as I can to bring you both back home. I want you both to be here for your girls and for the wedding.”

Natasha began to cry against your shoulder and you did your best to console her.

“Thank you Y/N.” Alexie sniffled.

“Natalia no more crying let’s have a toast, huh.” Melina smiled. “So much to celebrate tonight!”

Natasha wiped her eyes and stood grabbing the vodka Tony had and filled two shot glasses.

“When we take it we say Nostrovia.” Natasha nodded towards you.

She sat back on your lap and when you were all ready you lifted the glasses and hit the table before saying 

“Nostrovia!”

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You were sitting on the sofa looking up immigration law as Natasha made popcorn and snacks.

You learned that not only will it mean at least 30k each but they would be under both your sponsorship which if you remember correctly Natasha started that a long time ago it really barrels down to money. Natasha came back with snacks and you turned.

“So I have the money to bring your parents back. Well, we have the money. I know you and Yelena saved up some, we can use that and the rest will have to come out of a college fund.”

“Wait Y/N no-“

“Here’s the thing Tony promised me we would come in to some more money in the next quarter. Which means I would be making up to 6 figures so I could put that money back into the college fund, maybe even more.”

“But I just don’t feel comfortable taking from the girls.”

“It would just be borrowing.”

“Quinn would never-“

“Quinn doesn’t know about it.”

“I made it with the money I was making from Burt’s garage. That money was my college fund. She can’t touch it.”

“Really?”

“Technically it’s still in my mothers name.” You smirked. “It’s one of our little secrets. My mom is the best.”

“Oh my God. So you’re saying…”

“We’re bringing your parents home. We just need-“

Natasha tackled you in a hug. “Y/N!”

“We just need to get them a home and a job. I was thinking maybe I could get your mom a job with me at Stark Industries and Alexei could work at Thors Gym. He seems pretty built.”

“You’re so fucking amazing.” She kissed you roughly.

“Hmm thank you.” 

“Did I mention how sexy you look in these sweats?” She pulled back looking you up and down.

“Yeah?”

“God yes, stand up.” She chuckled getting off of you.

You stood and flapped you arms.

“Take off the hoodie.”

You smirked pulling it over your head.

“Fuck your so sculpted. You talked about how lucky you are? How about me? Look at you! You are the single most sexiest, most handsomely beautiful, charismatic, darling I’ve ever met in my life and I get to marry you. You’re perfect at everything! Gardening, cooking, carpentry, auto mechanics, plumber, dancer, singing, instruments, sports, and you always make me laugh. Don't even get me started with what you’re like in the sheets.”

You laugh and she takes your hand.

“I love you Y/N you’re my best friend and I can’t wait to marry you.”

You lean down kissing her softly feeling her nails drag along your naked back.

“Check it out.” You husk.

You step back and flex for your fiancé letting her see the hard outline of your erection.

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Natasha fed you some popcorn as you both watched a movie.

“I love the way you cock warm me. You know exactly how to please me.”

“I aim to please.” She smirked before bending over to grab some chocolate off the coffee table.

“Fuuuck.” You groaned at the motion on your tool. Especially when she sits back.

She wiggled a bit, turning to kiss your lips with chocolate against your mouths.

“Hmm, so good.” She smirked, leaning back in your arms with the bowl of popcorn. Everynow and then feeding you some, or reaching for some water and chocolate.

You really didn’t care if she didn’t stroke you or let you cum. Just being inside of her is enough. It feels so fucking good just being with her in this way. 

“She isn’t funny.” Natasha pointed towards the blonde actress who was trying to get a cookie but made it look like she was fucking her costar.

“Nope not at all.” You cleared your throat.

“Oh my God, you think she’s hot.” Natasha smirked.

“Nope not even a little I’m gonna be honest here sweetie I’m not even watching it.” You snickered. “I’m just enjoying you.”

“So you don’t find this little blonde blue eyed actress hot?”

“Nope. But I will admit her costar from Euphoria. I think her name is Alexia but don’t hold me to it. Now she’s hot. I’ll admit that. I’m honestly not that into blondes.”

“You married one.” She laughed.

“I’m never supposed to talk about this but she’s actually not really blonde.”

“I knew it!” Natasha huffed.

“No you didn’t.” You snickered.

“Baby.” She whined.

“Okay you did.”

Natasha smirked and kissed you turning back to the movie.

“Hmm.” You hummed feeling her wiggle against you before rocking her hips. You held her hips helping her find her pace.

“Ohhhhh baby!” She moaned placing her hands against the edge of the coffee table using it to really fuck you.

“Gah damn.” You whisper watching her ass wiggle. You lean down and turn her by the chin, capturing those plump lips. “That’s it, love, find your spot.” You say as she whines looking back at you. 

You hissed as she rides your cock up and down and side to side hearing her porn worthy moans. You leave kisses against her back letting your hands grope her breasts. 

“Y/N!” She moans rocking her hips.

“I love you so much.” You groan watching her take you over and over again.

“I love you too daddy!” 

“I’m gonna-“

“Me too.” She pants as your arms wrap around her.

You both moan loudly as you freeze inside of her letting her milk you for all you’re worth.

She moans as she rocks against you before lifting off of you.

“Fuck that was good.” You pant seeing your cum slip out of her and on you. Natasha turned around on her knees, licking you clean.

You sighed relaxing against the sofa letting your arms spread out. Natasha let you go with a pop. She sat next to you before pulling one of your arms around her.

You turned your head whispering in her ear. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She whispered against your lips.

“All this lovin’ is making me hungry.” You chuckled. “You hungry baby?”

“I’m okay.” She pecked your lips. “Kind of bored of this movie though.”

You reached down for your briefs and made your way to the kitchen.

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You stood in front of the window watching the snowfall as you finished eating your leftover pasta.

“Baby, look what I found!” Natasha held up a guitar.

“Where did you find that?” You chuckled, setting the plate in the sink and sipping on some wine.

“In another room.” She shrugged before handing it to you. “Play me something!” You take it and go towards the sofa.

“Hmm.” You hummed wondering what to play as you tuned his guitar.

“I'm here outside when you're ready 

Think about the shots and confetti 

I'll take you home if you let me

Just promise you won't forget me

'Cause the days get brighter when you're here

So I gotta keep you near

Goin' crazy and I just can't get you outta my head

Love is in the atmosphere, you can feel it in the air

Gettin' hazy and I just can't get you outta my head

Hoo-ah hoo-uh

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Just can't get you out of my head

You locked the door and it's raining

But baby I'm not complaining, no

We hit the road and we're racing, yeah

You make me super impatient

Can you feel the tension?

You've got my attention

I know we're just friends

But I'd rather be together

'Cause the days get brighter when you're here

So I gotta keep you near

Goin' crazy and I just can't get you outta my head

Love is in the atmosphere, you can feel it in the air

Gettin' hazy and I just can't get you outta my head

Hoo-ah hoo-uh

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Just can't get you out of my head

My head, my head, my head, my head

My head, my head, my head

Can't get you out of my

My head, my head, my head, my head

Can't get you out of my head

Hoo-ah hoo-uh

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh

Hoo-ah hoo-uh

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Hoo-ah hoo-uh 

Just can't get you out of my head”

Natasha smirked, leaning over kissing you.

“How about you sing me a song now?” You grin.

“Okay, ummm how about Espresso?” She smirked.

“Oooohhh fuck yeah.” You damned yourself as you thought about the chord progression.

You started and looked up at her to begin.

“Now he’s thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh

Is it that sweet? I guess so

Say you can't sleep, baby, I know

That's that me, espresso”

Natasha rubbed her body taking a sip out of an imaginary cup.

Move it up, down, left, right, oh

Switch it up like Nintendo

Say you can't sleep, baby, I know

That's that me, espresso

She moved behind you wrapping her arms around your neck singing near your ear.

I can't relate to desperation

My 'give a fucks' are on vacation

And I got this one boy

And he won't stop calling

When they act this way

I know I got 'em

She smirked at you letting her hands rub up your thighs.

Too bad your ex don't do it for ya

Walked in and dream came trued it for ya

Soft skin and I perfumed it for ya

I know I Mountain Dew it for ya

That morning coffee, brewed it for ya

One touch and I brand newed it for ya

The redhead booped your nose laying down on the sofa waving her legs in the air. 

Now he's thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh

Is it that sweet? I guess so

Say you can't sleep, baby, I know

That's that me, espresso

Move it up, down, left, right, oh

She sat up turning around for you to see her spread her legs and grind against nothing. 

Switch it up like Nintendo

Say you can't sleep, baby, I know

That's that me, espresso

Is it that sweet? I guess so

She turned around smirking to see your member hardened under your sweats.

I'm working late 'cause I'm a singer

Natasha let her had run your hard on.

Oh, he looks so cute wrapped around my finger

My twisted humor, make him laugh so often

She stood dancing near your face as she stripped her shorts off.

My honey bee, come and get this pollen

Too bad your ex don't do it for ya

Walked in and dream came trued it for ya

Natasha’s nails raked through your scalp before taking off her shirt.

Soft skin and I perfumed it for ya

I know I Mountain Dew it for ya

That morning coffee, brewed it for ya

One touch and I brand newed it for ya

She walked over behind you letting her back rest against you sticking her fingers in your mouth.

Now he's thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh

Is it that sweet? I guess so

Say you can't sleep, baby, I know

That's that me, espresso

She turned against your back taking off her bra letting you feel her breasts against your skin.

Move it up, down, left, right, oh

Switch it up like Nintendo

Say you can't sleep, baby, I know

That's that me, espresso

He's thinkin' 'bout me every night, oh

Is it that sweet? I guess so

Say you can't sleep, baby, I know

That's that me, espresso

She moved in front of you and lifted her leg on your knee and you leaned in trying to lick her her wet spot. But we’re met with her stomach.

Move it up, down, left, right, oh

Switch it up like Nintendo

Say you can't sleep, baby, I know

That's that me, espresso

Is it that sweet? I guess so

That's that me, espresso”

You set the guitar aside and pulled Natasha against you. She giggled as you nibbled against her neck. “Is my honey bee getting its pollen?”

You chuckled, lifting her up and over your shoulder. “Fuck that was so sexy.” You slapped her ass as you began high tailing it up the stairs.

“What if I wanted you to keep singing to me?” She laughed.

“Later baby I’m gonna make you sing for me in a minute.”

She giggled as you tossed her on the bed. You wasted no time kissing and licking every inch of her.  “God, I love you.” You hum.

“I love you too, baby. Now pollenate your fiancé.”

“This is the best vacation I’ve ever had.”

[colorquest]

D: WOOOOOOOOOO! D: LOOK AT IT!!! D: BLURRY AS FUCK BUT LOOK AT IT! D: WE WERE THEREEEE! S: ...Phew...! S: Oh my gosh, that's so cool, but-- S: Vilmr!!! S: You had me so scared, haha, I was holding my breath that whole time! S: You really made it seem like we were about to just... S: ...just, explode from bad luck out of nowhere.

D: Yeah see and now you know Vilmr, everything's totally fine. D: No need to be so stressed out now right? V: Mmmmmmmmmh... V: Don't talk to me, this is just too much for me... D: Okay well if it makes you feel any better your phone's stopped buzzing so much. D: Me thinks this eclipse is the start of something epic.

M: Well wow, D! M: Thanks for finding this stream, that was actually really neat! M: Now I get to tell my mom I've officially seen my first eclipse. M: That'll be a hoot for her to hear, haha. D: Um, Penny's like a cajillion years old right? D: She's probably seen a bunch already, she's probably gonna be all, D: "Awww, baby's first eclipse, guguguu~" M: Haha, yeah probably. M: Something like that. D: So like yeah that was awesome. D: What are you getting up to for the rest of the night Samantha? S: I think Michael's parents are putting on a movie tonight. S: So we might be doing that later? D: But not like right now, right? D: Like we can still hang out for a bit right? D: We literally just started calling. D: ...An hour ago. but still. M: Oh yeah, no, they're out right now doing... M: Uh, I don't really know what they're up to actually. M: But it'll be a few hours. M: Probably? D: OKAY okay so then do you guys wanna--

D: ...Erm. S: Want to what, Debbie? D: Did you guys not see that just now? S: See what? D: Um, that big flash outside your window?

S: Oh, heehee Debbie, very funny. S: I was scared a minute ago but I'm not that high. D: No seriously, it got super bright outside your window just now. D: Actually I'm pretty sure I saw it from the corner of my eye too? D: *gasssssssp...* D: Is something actually going down? M: D, it's bright all the time out here, you know this. D: Oh my gosh, you guys I'm not joking okay? D: Literally just go look out your window???? S: We're not that gullible Debbie! -v-... D: Ugh whatever, I'm gonna go investigate at least. D: Come on Vilmr. V: Are-- are you serious...? V: What's going on? M: Now D, there's no need to make fun of Vilmr, the time has passed--

M: HOLY SKY AND ABOVE!!! S: ?!

S: Wh-wh... S: What was that?! S: Oh my gosh Michael, your room! S: Half of it's completely gone! S: What just happened??? M: I-- M: O-oh my gosh. M: I have no clue... S: Okay, okay, okay no Michael, I'm really scared now. S: S-seriously. S: Michael, I think Vilmr might've been... S: I think he... S: I... M: Samantha?

S: Uuu... uuuuu... M: Oh, oh no Samantha this is like the worst time for this! M: We gotta get out of here, this room can't be stable. S: ... M: Samantha!

S: eep! M: Aaaaah... M: Darn it, okay-- M: I'm carrying you out, then! M: The door was blown away anyways... S: ...zzz... M: Come on, let's get out of...

M: ...here. M: M: *gulp*

<[Last]|| [Next]>

[purplebehittindifferent]

I like it when people sit down to get to know me, and they’ll ask a question, and they realize that I know WAY too much about EVERYTHING.

“Oh- you’ve eaten raw horse?”

“Yeah it gave me E-Coli”

“What’s E-coli?”

*EXPLAINS THE ENTIRETY OF HOW YOUR BODY REACTA AND WHERE IT COMES FROM AND HOW IT WORKS*

“W-wow you know a lot about that- what else have you eaten that’s weird?”

“Uni, which- actually do you know the only edible part of a sea urchin is: *MORE EXTREMELY RANDOM INFO*”

“That’s crazy! Ew- I don’t think I’ve eaten weird things before.”

“Did you know in Japan they eat live octopuses? They started just doing the little ones that fit in your mouth but now they are FULLY eating ones that fight back- which is neat because even after you bite a limb off they- *INFO ON MARINE LIFE SYNAPSES AND THAT OCTOPUS TENTACLES SUCTION IS STRONG ENOUGH TO LEAVE A HICKEY*”

“How do you know this??”

“Uhhh- a Chuckle sandwich podcast, and a lot of experience fishing with my dad, that led to more research. ALSO DID YOU KNOW THAT DOLPHINS FEEL LIKE WET HOTDOGS??? OH AND WAIT TILL YOU HEAR ABOUT THE WAY THEY HALF SLEEP WITH THEIR BRA-“

I talked for an hour.

The way I acquired this completely random and oddly specific/complicated information was by NO NORMAL MEANS.

People have started ASKING me questions about random stuff because they KNOW I’ll know SOMETHING about it

IS THIS MY SUPERPOWER? I MEAN ITS SÚPER ANNOYING TO OTHERS BUT IM SO SMART AND SO DUMB AT THE SAME TIME??? LOL????

[earlycuntsets]

"mikey way

"me and gerard, we're the best friends in the world"

Once again, we meet Mikey Way. But this time this guy talks soooooo much. Hi hi hi! Never thought Mikey could be this chatty!

Long coat and black jeans, that's the outfit worn by Mikey Way when he met W at the Malia Hotel, Thursday afternoon, January 31, 2008. Wow, he looked really neat. But when watching MCR's concert a few hours later, it turned out that Mikey was also wearing the same costume, he he he. It's very clear that his long coat and all-black jeans are not just a style but an important part of his identity.

Anyway… Mikey looked relaxed as he shook hands with W. As a small talk, W of course asked him what he thought about Jakarta. He answered honestly. "So far, great. But I haven't been here long. Only 12 hours, only half a day. So, you know." He said as he took a large white plastic cup of coffee from the table in front of him. His hands looked a little shaky.

Gosh, Mikey, the conversation has become so serious, huh, he he he. W reminds me that the name My Chemical Romance was taken from one of the books Mikey read when he was still working at Barnes & Noble bookstore, namely Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance by Irvine Welsh. mentioned by Mikey, here. Wow, it seems so funny to imagine Mikey being a bookworm, huh? Apart from Gerard being the vocalist and frontman of My Chem, he is still Mikey's 'big brother'. So, let's just start asking about Gerard, shall we?

Mmm, maybe we can start with a question that's not too direct, huh…

What's the most annoying thing about Gerard?

"Him? There's nothing bad about him. Even if there's something annoying, it makes me love him even more. Ha ha. Even if there's something bad about him, it's endearing. Gera is a very talented and admirable individual."

What is the annoying side of you in Gerard's eyes?

"Me? Well, I don't know. Ha ha. Maybe you guys better ask Gerard directly, haha ​​ha."

Have you two ever fought?

"We have. It's natural. But not too often. In a few years maybe."

Can you tell us a little bit about how you and Gerard are actually brothers? what kind?

"We're the best friends in the world. We always hang out together. We always talk. Especially when we're on tour, we always share a room in a hotel. only once we fought, ha ha ha. We barely fight."

Do you still have time to read a book?

"Yes, I still am. Right now I'm reading Needful Things by Stephen King. This is actually my second time reading it, he he he."

Wow, you really like horror stories, huh?

"Ha ha ha, yes. I like horror novels and also horror movies. Stephen King is a great horror writer. Many of his books are horror themed. I really like Stephen King."

From early on, it seemed like Gerard did most of the talking.

"I only talk when necessary. Not only me, Frank, Bob and Ray have also. But more often than not we have to take care of our own musical instruments, so we leave that responsibility to Gerard, he he he."

Totally agree, Mikey Unfortunately, Gerard isn't there, hu hu hu!

On stage, Gerard is the same. Have you ever joined in the conversation with the audience?

"Well, yes sure. I have."

Anyway, really happy to chat with you. Lately, MCR has been using piano players a lot at concerts, huh?

"We do everything like other big bands do."

Are there plans to make James Dewees a permanent member of MCR?

Oh, James. He's already become My Chem family member since ama. Even though he is not a member of MCR, he is our friend. We have also known him for a long time. Besides, we like the sound of our concert piano. So, we keep using it.

Why, the hell, is the sound of the piano so important to MCR?

"Piano is the basis for all music. Since we know a cool piano player like James Dewees, we might as well include him in the line-up. Unfortunately, James is currently at sound check, so he can't be here."

My Chem, that's how Mikey shortens the name My Chemical Romance. Frankly, W also knows nothing, he he he. When asked when My Chem (yikes, I'm following Mikey) will release a new album, Mikey said it would be around early or mid 2009. Wow, that's still quite a long time away, huh. When W asked about My Chem's three previous albums, this guy remained enthusiastic, cas cis cus.(?)

Tell us about the metamorphosis from the first to the third album…

"Sure sure"

Album: Bullets

"We were still very young. We were in our early 20s and we had only been in the band for about 10 months. Every song that was created at that time was indeed in accordance with our condition at that time. If you listen to it, you will definitely feel the nuances of My Chem now. The songs on the first album are like 'the younger brother of The Black Parade,

Is the creative process different?

"Let's see… The first album, / was really green, he he he. Gerard was also very young. We felt more spontaneous. The second album, Three Cheers… was more mature, more aggressive. The longer it went on, the clearer it became in The Black Parade. The difference was probably with the presence of Bob on drums. He is one of the phenomenal drummers. Many people say so. Because of Bob, The Black Parade seemed touching on many musical genres."

What if someone says that The Black Parade sounds smoother than previous albums?

"Technically, yes. The first album was made in the basement. The sound was rough. But eventually we had a bigger studio and had more time to prepare the material."

adhika annisa, marti photo: yudha

08/2008 kawanku (indonesia) from mcrhollywood

english translation done by google translate

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 21 all chapters

WARNING: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, YANDERE SH!T. Plz take care. I luv u all. 😘

-You toss and turn, of course, utterly unable to sleep.

Your body does not get the memo that it’s a bad idea to fuck a man like John Wick, who is a killer who is holding you prisoner, and refuses to simmer down. You are uncomfortably swollen between your legs, your pussy aching with frustration, and in the wee hours of the morning you are certain you are about to lose your goddamn fucking mind.

 How is he really going to fucking know?

This is the stupid little thought that plays through your tired brain as you writhe beneath the covers, running hands up over your torso, pretending they are his.

Imagining his touch tweaking the sensitive tips of your nipples, his fingers buried inside you, seeking that sensitive place that drives you wild.

Yours are too soft, too small, not long enough or thick enough by half.

You try to trick yourself that it’s his unrelenting touch circling your clit, furious in his claiming of your pleasure as his own…

It’s not enough by half, and the release that washes over you is a paltry consolation at best, a weak pleasure that you know is a sad facsimile of the real thing. Still, you can’t stop yourself from sighing his name, and how has he mind-fucked you so royally in such a short amount of time?

It pisses you off, and in a last act of defiance for the night you flip off the camera high in the corner.

He’s probably not watching anyway. He’s probably asleep, snug in his bed with Dog, the bastard.

Feeling sad and not really sated at all, you curl into a ball and try to finally get some rest. It’s lonely in this big bed all by yourself, and by the time sleep finally claims you your pillow is damp with tears.

-When finally you wake in the morning, you are cold. The covers are down around your waist, and your shoulders ache, your arms at an odd angle out in front of you.

You never sleep like this.

There’s something on your wrists.

You open your eyes, blinking away the blur of sleep. Your vision focuses on something red.

A very neat line of shibari style knots encircles your wrists and half your forearms. They would have been beautiful, in a different setting. Like, not on your body, without your consent.

They’re not so tight to cut off your circulation, but they’re not exactly comfortable either. You strain against the silk rope, and find you can’t budge them.

You are so fucked.

“I warned you.”

John is sitting in the chair in the corner, watching you. He’s wearing all black again, a button down and slacks this time. Looking his best for you, or does he have somewhere to be? It’s not something you would have paid attention to before, but this morning, you can’t help but fixate on the fact that he’s wearing a leather belt.

Because you’re an idiot, you snipe anyway, “Wow, looks like someone earned his merit badge in macramé.”

He just smirks at you, the beautiful bastard.

“I’ve got more than a badge, honey.”

“Very funny. Untie me.”

“You’ll have to earn it, bad girl.”

Your heart skitters around in your chest as you wonder what that means.

He goes on, “Did you really think I wouldn’t see you last night?”

“Guess I assumed you’d be sleeping. It was way past your bedtime.”

He scoffs at the old man dig, leaning forward on his knees, fixing you with that hawkish gaze. “I found out I only sleep well with you in my arms, darling. Wouldn’t that have been nice last night?”

Yes, it would have. However, you just frown at him.

“So, was it worth it?” he pushes.

You sigh, half tempted to tell him how utterly unsatisfying your little session of self-indulgence had been. Rather than answer him, you look at the knots again. They really are beautiful. It makes you think of the book binding shop you’d visited in Florence, and the complicated stitches and knots they used to affix the signatures of pages together.

This man likes binding all kinds of things, it seems.

“Are you hungry?”

Only then do you notice that he has a plate of breakfast foods on the little table beside him. Eggs, toast, and bacon. A little plastic cup that might be water or juice. Your tummy answers with a rumble. Dog did eat your dinner last night, and John never offered you a replacement sandwich. At the time you’d been too worked up about…everything, to care.  

“Maybe.”

He huffs a little laugh at you. “Come here.” He pats his knee, and you realize he wants you to sit on his lap—so he can feed you. A little growl in the back of your throat escapes you, and it only makes his smirk widen.

“God, you’re adorable when you’re angry.”

“I’m not hungry,” you grouse.

You are starving, and you both know it.

“Come. Here.”

There’s that chilling tone of voice again. It does not fail to fill your veins with ice, your heart skipping a beat before skittering irregularly in your chest. You’ve come to understand that it means playtime is over.

You are so fucked.

It is awkward, getting out of the bed with your wrists tied like this. You almost fall on your face, your foot getting tangled in the sheet. From John’s forbidding expression, you don’t think he would have caught you from hitting the floor this time.

You are still only dressed in the thin nightie, and the air is cold on your skin. Your nipples tighten, forming sharp peaks beneath the fabric, the silk lending agonizing friction that makes you want to press your thighs to relieve some of the sudden ache between them.

Last night so did not help you with this problem, and John’s eyes fixating on them does not help either, and you wonder if you’ll be in trouble when you stain his neat looking pants leg with your slick after sitting on him.

“Come here,” he says again, his tone much gentler this time.

Defeated, you shuffle forward, letting him guide you to perch on his knee with a hand on your hip. You barely manage to suppress a shudder as possessively his hand slides just under your skirt, resting on the warm pillow of your thigh. His long fingers are so close to your center, but he makes no move, letting you stew in it.

Bastard.

Only then do you turn to look at him, finding his gaze fixed on your face. “Good morning.”

When you say nothing in return he lifts one eyebrow, and you swear, this man will be the death of you out of frustration alone.

“Good morning,” you finally return, hating the meek timbre of your tone.

“Do you like scrambled eggs?” You nod, and he scoops up a forkful. You notice the fork is plastic, and you wonder if its for your safety, or for his.

He’s clearly never seen Hot Tub Time Machine.

“I would have taken you to breakfast in Venice, but someone had to run away.”

“Well, someone was an insufferable prig the night before,” you return primly, wondering what punishment this will earn you, unable to stop yourself from saying it anyway. He actually smirks at this, though his grip tightens a bit in warning on your thigh. Not enough to hurt, but oh.

You are definitely leaving a wet spot on his trousers, and you hate yourself a little more for it.

You finish your breakfast bite by bite like the good girl you’re apparently not. It was good, if not the weirdest seating arrangement you’ve ever endured. You tremble inside, as you wonder what he has in mind for you next, now that your energy is up and you are trussed like a holiday goose for his pleasure.

You couldn’t be more surprised, than when he deposits you on the bed, kisses your cheek, and bids you, “Have a nice day, sweetie.”

“Wait!” you exclaim, whirling as he is already halfway to the door, swinging his suit jacket about his broad shoulders. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

You hate it, that hearing this fills you with panic. “Are you coming back?”

“Do you want me to come back?” There is a dangerous glitter in those dark eyes, and you know that is a question loaded with fourteen in the clip and one in the chamber.

You decide on, “I want you to untie me.” Holding up your wrists as exhibit A.

He shrugs a little, and you know that was not the answer he wanted. “Maybe later.” Then he sweeps out of the room, leaving you staring dumbfounded at the door where he’d just been. The man is like a fucking ghost.  

“Bastard!”

You hope he hears you, but you suspect the epithet falls on deaf ears.

-Your first order of business, of course, is trying to undo these beautiful fucking knots. Unfortunately for you, they are tight, and secure, and John was smart enough to make the finishing hitch with the end tails on the opposite side of your wrist where you cannot easily reach them with your teeth.

Sonofabitch.

If he’d left you Dog for company you could have enlisted the pooch’s formidable chompers, perhaps, but no dice on that one.

Fine.

You sit under the covers for a while, because you’re cold. You try to read, but it is infuriatingly difficult to turn the pages of a book and read comfortably with your hands like this.

You are certain lunch time comes and goes, without a peep out of John.

Did he actually leave you?

You hate it, how the thought makes a trill of panic vibrate in your chest.

Fine. It’s fucking fine.

He thinks he can break you with alone time? You? You are the Queen of Introversion. You can go for days without human interaction, happily, so long as you have a sketchbook or a book. Bring it on, Mr. Wick.

He left you the water cup with the straw, and boy is that an adventure to refill in the bathroom when you’re thirsty.

Going pee without making a mess is no small feat either.

You pace the room, just to get some exercise. You look out the window, watching the birds in the trees.

You laugh to yourself, banging your head against the bulletproof glass. How funny, that you’d once fancied yourself Jane Eyre, when it turned out you were destined to be Mad Bertha locked up in the attic by Rochester all along.  

You hate to admit it, but by the time the sun is starting to set behind the trees you are going stir crazy with wondering where the fuck he is.

It’s definitely not because you miss him.

It’s just…these fucking ropes, of course. It’s not those burning dark eyes, or those large sure hands, or that sturdy long body he likes to press to yours. It’s not that the silence of the room feels empty without his deep voice, even if he’s using it to taunt you.

It is late by the time you hear the locks on the door whir, and you have been sitting in your nest in bed feeling listless and way too sorry for yourself. You are half out of your mind with boredom, and your shoulders and elbows ache at the joints from the restraints at your wrist. You try not to show it, but you are ready to climb up the fucking walls.

Like he might have some inkling of this, John pays you a knowing smile, assuming his seat with the confidence of a king in his throne room. He snaps and pats his thigh, no words this time, expecting you to obey.

Someday, you are going to make him pay for this.

But now…there’s nothing for it but to play his twisted game.

He’s prepared some kind of stir-fry tonight, with vegetables, beef, and rice. You are starving by now, and it smells heavenly.

Again, the food is good, simple but filling. He feeds you forkful by forkful with a careful tenderness that could make you weep. Your time with John is like a game of Russian Roulette. Spin the wheel, which John shall you receive this minute?

It’s easy to hate Mean John. Insufferable Ass Hat John, could drive you to murder. But Sweet John? You would do anything, for Sweet John, and you’re afraid he knows it too.

It’s only been a day, really. Is that right? A day? And already, you feel yourself slipping into the mould he’s fashioned for you.

Perhaps in a knee-jerk attempt to counter this, you ask, “Did you used to play this game with Helen?”

He freezes with the fork halfway to your lips, his hand underneath your skirt with his dead wife’s name in your mouth.  

You meant to throw him off, but as far as you can tell, all it earns you is a scoff. “No.”

“Why not?”

He actually seems to consider your question, toying with the food again, re-loading the fork with a different bite. “I was never afraid she would leave me. Funny, how that worked out.”

You feel like he’s handed you an important piece of information. Emboldened by his quietness, you dare push, “And…what do you think she’d think, about what you’re doing to me now?”

“I’d say she lost her vote, when she left me.” The indifference is gone; this is delivered with a stinging bitterness, and you realize he blames her for leaving him. There’s a clue in this too, and you feel like the solution to all this is an illusive thing hovering just barely out of your grasp. If you can find just the right words, push just the right buttons…maybe you can bring him back to sanity?

“She never would have left you on purpose, John. She got sick. You’ve got to forgive her.”

And accept you can’t control everyone around you. Then preferably, untie me! motherfucker.

The only indication he gives that you’ve upset him is the tightening of his fingers digging into your thigh. You’re going to have bruises, but if he’s actually processing what you’re saying, it’s a price you’ll gladly pay.

He just continues to push the medley of food around on the plate, shaking his head in silence. Disappointed in his nonreaction to your question, you sullenly accept the next bite.

Three seconds later, your mouth is on fire.

You squeal with panic, leaning for the plate to spit it out. But John’s big hand clamps over your mouth, a hard glint in his eyes, and you know you’re going to have to swallow it. It takes three tries, but you manage, tears streaming from the corner of your eyes.

You can do moderately spicy food, but that was just fucking diabolical.

“What the fuck?” you hiss between coughs.

“I knew you’d have something smart to say tonight.”

You try to reach for the water cup with its stupid little straw and your stupidly bound-together hands, but John sets it out of reach. “Oh my god, please?”

He speaks calmly, as though the lining of your mouth is not being eaten away like you took a bite of rice laced with battery acid. “You keep speaking about Helen like you knew her. I suggest you cut it out. Unless you would like all your meals seasoned like this.”

You blow a long breath of air over your tongue. It only sort of helps.

Mother. Fucker.

You glare daggers, but for now, you’re wise enough (broken enough?) to keep your epithets to yourself.

He sits back in the chair to regard you, tossing the fork into what’s left on the plate. You’re still hungry, but you’ll be damned if you eat anymore from that dish. You flinch as he reaches for you, though he is not cruel as he grips your hair at the base of your head. Just…exacting, and he guides you to perch on the edge of the chair between his legs, your bare ass fitted against his crotch.

It feels good as he starts to braid your hair, a jarring contrast to the pain still simmering in your mouth. You whimper a little, despite yourself, arching into him behind you. You didn’t even mean to, really, but it wins you a low groan that fills you with forbidden warmth.

This is so fucked.

Nothing you’ve experienced in your life has prepared you for handling this.

When he finishes he wraps the new handle of your plaited hair in his fist, pulling you back against his chest. He is warm, and solid, and you fail royally as you try not to enjoy this contact. It’s ridiculous, but all you really want is for him to hold you.

He speaks against the shell of your ear, his other hand lightly encircling your throat. “I’ll never let you leave me.”

Your heart drums frantically in your chest; he means business. You can just tell, there is an unyielding hardness in his tone that somehow wasn’t quite there before. You thought you could reason with this man, but maybe you were wrong, or maybe you only succeeded in pushing his sanity the other way, further into the red.

Maybe there’s nothing left to reason with, and that is the thing that finally, truly scares you.

“Maybe you need something else to fill up that sassy mouth.”

With his improvised handle he guides you down to sit between his splayed legs. Your eyes are drawn to the newly erected tent in his pants, that formidable bulge that should be the stuff of your nightmares, but still inspires a maddening longing inside you.

Why do you have to feel so empty, when he’s near?

Frustrated by the unfairness of it all, you glare daggers up at him. You know what he’s angling to extort out of you, of course. It makes you sad, but not for the reason he might have expected. It makes you sad, because you would have rubbed your knees raw sucking him off, if he’d just asked you nicely.

“Thanks, but I’m full.”

He snorts at that. “Yeah? Someone doesn’t want her hands untied that badly.”

Now, that is something you want, and maybe you’re willing to play with that on the table. You’ve never thought of yourself as someone who is easily led, but he is good at manipulating you. It makes you wonder if any of it was ever real, or if this is just a game he’s been playing with you from day one.

The thought makes you sigh, and you rest your cheek on his lean thigh, closing your eyes.

He looks down at you like you’re a puzzle he’s not quite sure how to solve.

Welcome to the club, Mr. Wick.

“Were you planning this all along?” you ask. “When you were so sweet to me? Am I that fucking stupid that I didn’t see this coming?” Obviously, from the clothes in the closet, he’d hoped you’d come stay with him at some point, but all the rest? It feels spontaneous, like the way something hard can suddenly crack with too much pressure. But then again, maybe just because it took you by such fucking surprise.

He strokes your hair, and that gentle touch just makes it worse somehow. You feel the sting of tears in the corners of your eyes, because that gentleness is all you wanted from him. The ironic part is that he wouldn’t have had to do any of this shit, just to keep you.

You do not love easily, but once you do…it is a total, and all-consuming thing.

“I don’t know,” he answers begrudgingly. “I just…couldn’t let you leave me.”

You think about how he’d been an orphan. He’d lost his parents. He’d lost his wife. He’d lost his dog. He’d gone on a rampage and slaughtered an entire Russian Bratva…for the loss of a dog.

In perspective you guess he’d actually behaved rather tamely, at the threat of losing you. This man does nothing by halves, and the only thing John Wick fears, it seems, is losing those he loves.

Is that what he’d meant, when he said his love was a curse?

It doesn’t excuse it, but there is a key somewhere in that, you reason. A key to freedom, or the gates of Hell, you’re not really sure.

You do your best to blink away your tears. Maybe it’s stupid, because you’re not half as tough as he is, but you don’t really want him to see you cry.

He lets you sit like that for as long as you want, stroking your hair. It’s almost sweet, and it gives you time to collect yourself.

Someday, he’s going to figure out it’s best not to give you a chance to plot your next move. It occurs to you that maybe you have one last card to play.

You sit up slowly on your knees between his legs, and you can feel the intensity of his gaze weighing upon your skin. You reach for his belt, brushing his erection through his pants, his manhood twitching in anticipation. For just a second, he allows himself to close his eyes.  

Maybe you have power too. You just have to figure out how to use it here, and maybe not lose you mind over how thick and wonderful he just felt beneath your hand. That unhelpful pulsing between your legs casts its vote. You try to unobtrusively squeeze your thighs for some relief, but you fear this man sees everything.  

Good for you, that your voice sounds almost steady. “I have to say, you’re a brave man, Mr. Wick.”

It is not easy to work the buckle of his belt with your hands bound like this, but somehow you manage, even pulling it from its loops. You fight the urge to throw the damn thing across the room, but settle for resting it at his feet.

“How do you figure?”

“Well...” You flip open the top button of his pants, your fingers shaking slightly. “If we are engaging in that time-honored exchange of a favor for a blowjob... and you just essentially carpet bombed my mouth with napalm...wow, you do like to live dangerously.”

He sits still as a statue for a good few moments, weighing what you’re telling him, gauging if the capsaicin would transfer through your saliva to what is arguably the most sensitive area of his body. You’re 98 percent certain they would, and a part of you hopes he’ll opt to try it even after you warn him.

It would make for a neat little slice of revenge.

But then, what you really want is out of these ropes, and you hope your honesty will win you some points with him.

In the end he catches your hands, as you are awkwardly trying to work his zipper.

“Maybe we'll skip that for now.”

“You sure? Where’s your sense of adventure?”

He narrows his eyes down at you, and you wonder if you’re inventing it, or is there a glimmer of amusement in his dark eyes?

“In my other pants.” 

In the end he pulls you back up into his lap with a grumble.

You suspect you’ve only delayed the inevitable, but you feel some satisfaction for your little coup.

“I’ll be back,” he tells you, (threatens you?), depositing you on the bed, gathering the dishes and sweeping out of the room. You have a feeling this interaction was not half as satisfying as he’d hoped it would be.

Well, good.

Bastard.

-When he returns, he brings you a cup of milk. Though most of the pain from the chilis has already subsided by now, you accept it for the calorie count if anything.

“Are you alright?” he asks with a hand on your cheek, looking you over appraisingly.

Thinking this might be your best moment, you lift your bound hands with a pitiful pout, blinking your eyelashes innocently.

“Will you untie me now?” you ask in your sweetest tone, words loaded with contrition.  

“You think you’ve earned it?” he asks, and you sense this is a perilous path you’re approaching.

“I’ve been good.”

“Hmm.”

“Come on. I mouthed off. You punished me. You had your fun. And rather than give in to my initial vindictive impulses, I saved you from a very uncomfortable evening. It’s the least you can do.”

He actually chuckles at this, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He seems softened by your bright little tirade, but then this man’s mood can change on a dime.

“And, it’s starting to hurt,” you add.

It’s not a lie, and it seems that is the thing that makes him pause.

“You don’t like my knot work?”

Your heart lodges in your throat, and you know you must proceed with caution, or you’ll be wearing this shit for a week at least.

“Your knots are very fine, Mr. Wick.”

Your captor practically purrs at hearing that, a low rumbling sound from deep in his chest, his hand burying in your hair. It sends a tingling thrill all across your scalp.

You’ve come to reluctantly love his fixation with grabbing your mane.

You really are losing your mind.

“I’ll make you a deal, kitten.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll untie you…if you will take a bath with me.” His tone is the low rumble of a jungle cat, and your heart leaps into your throat. You knew this was coming, eventually. Maybe you just didn’t expect it tonight.

Looking back, you’re not sure why.

“NowI get to see you?”

You are still puzzling over the way he’d outright prevented you from undressing him, in Venice. It was almost like he’d been afraid, and you don’t understand at all. He’s fucking gorgeous, and you’re pretty sure he knows it. So…why?

“I told you, you weren’t ready then.”

You suspect the real answer is that he wasn’t ready, but for once, you don’t contradict him.

He runs a finger down the line of his neat knots that are starting to bite into your flesh. It’s starting to affect the feeling in your fingers, and you know that can’t be good.

“So? What do you say?”

You crane your neck to look up at him, drinking in the lines of his handsome face, his straight nose and proud lips, and the delicately drawn sweep of his eyes. Even with the shadow of a black eye, courtesy of you, he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. You shouldn’t want him, after everything he’s done to you. You shouldn’t, but you feel yourself inevitably drawn to him, like the moon pulls the tide.

You feel like you’re signing a piece of your soul away to the devil on the dotted line, when at last you nod.

He puts a hand to his ear with a smirk. “What was that?”

Your groan comes out like a growl.

“You have a deal, Mr. Wick, sir.”

His low rumble of approval gives you chills, and when he turns your face up to kiss you sweetly you utterly melt beneath his hands, jarred by the contrast from earlier, but not questioning it. You bask in the press of his soft lips, greedy for his tenderness, hoping stupidly that this is the way things will be from now on. Then you yelp with surprise as suddenly he scoops you up with his hands on your thighs, carrying you into the bathroom.  

[foreverisntenough]

LOVED THE NEW CHAPTER ABOUT MR AND MRS. ALEXANDER-ARNOLD

after reading “ours” and “your mine” i always wondered what’s the timeline for trent’s hair. in the beginning did he have locs and if so when did he cut it (chapter wise)? what would y/n think of his hair and does she have any preference?

YAY I’m so glad you enjoyed the chapter!

Okayyyy this is interesting…. Regarding the hair, sometimes I go back and forth but I know in my like chapter announcement posts where I do little photos it can change but it’s more for relevancy of what he’s doing I think in those. IMO he has locs rn. I definitely don’t think he’s had the braids yet because I know Y/N would’ve made some noise about that.

More thoughts on the hair

--------- My tiny one shot below for you 🤍

'Surprise' 🧸 - 625 words | Trent Alexander-Arnold

↳ Trent decides he wants to change his hair.

Other ForeverIsntEnough One Shots

---------

“I’m going to the barber tomorrow after training so I’ll be a little late for dinner with Ty.” Trent cooed walking around the kitchen island with Teddy in his arms. You nodded thinking nothing of it other than just a confirmation of his plans you already knew.

“Yeah, course. No worries. Are you just like going to retwist?” You asked nonchalantly, scrolling on your phone. You didn’t even pick your head up. It was just another normal morning, him going to the barber wasn’t exactly ground breaking.

“Nah, baby. I think just fresh start ya know. All off.” He said incredibly calmly. Plopping Teddy to sit on the marble countertop.

“Sorry? Is that a joke?” Your eyes went wide and shot up to him immediately. To say you were shocked was an understatement. What did he mean fresh start? “Like you’re going to cut it all off? T… baby.” You stood up from your chair and came round towards him, rushing towards him hoping you could convince him otherwise. You loved his hair. This felt like a tragedy.

“Baby. Relax. It’s a hair cut. I just want a reset.” He cooed pulling you into him by your waist with his free hand. He kissed the bridge of your nose.

“Oh… that makes me kind of sad.” You pouted at him reaching up to play with the ends of a piece of his hair. “Isn’t daddy so handsome like this though, Ted. We like daddy’s hair long.” You kept your pout. Teddy didn’t really know why you were upset about his hair. She didn’t have much of an opinion but she mirrored your pout back to Trent. You hoped that the vicious game of guilt of his girls looking back at him might change his mind.

“Wow I had no idea this would be such a big deal to you.” Trent laughed kissing Teddy’s forehead. “You like dada’s hair like this or should I cut it?” Trent asked her taking a strand of her hair in his hand pulling the curl straight and making a silly snip noise using his fingers to act like they were scissors.

“Long dada!” Teddy giggled. You gave Trent a smug smirk and cocked your head to the side as if to say ‘see.’ The conversation fizzled out and you didn’t really care at the end of the day. He’d be handsome no matter what and it was his hair, he could do what he wants and you told him that. The following day he was gone for hours. Much longer than you’d thought. Truth be told Trent didn’t have to go in to AXA this day, so he moved things around, knowing his appointment for the new direction he had decided on for his hair was going to take a long time. He figured a little surprise might be fun.

“Are you good? Little worried.” You spoke to Trent over the phone with a bit of humor but also starting to gradually get a bit more anxious.

“Yeah, all good, baby. I’ll be home in like erm… maybe hour and a half. Got a surprise for you.” He cooed with a smugness in his voice that made you even more nervous.

“Oh my fucking god.” You gasped as your jaw slacked seeing Trent walk into the kitchen after his long day, hair cleanly braided into neat cornrows. You actually felt like your heart might’ve stopped beating. It definitely might have dropped to beat elsewhere. He looked so sexy.

“Surprised?” He asked with a devastatingly handsome smile. He looked perfect in a clean crisp white t-shirt standing across from you. Genuinely radiating a type of beauty that was just plain unfair.

“Oh my fucking god.” You echoed your initial reaction once more. Your mind had gone blank. You had to manually stop yourself from drooling.

“Do you have anything else to say?” Trent laughed. “I’m really hoping this reaction is because you like it. So good, yeah?” Trent came over to you and shut your mouth closed for you his hand cupping your jaw now.

“Forget good. So so sexy. Oh my fucking god, T. Come here now.” You reached up and ran your hands over the fresh braids and smiled into a kiss. “So sexy.” You whispered, ghosting your lips over his. You couldn’t wait to go to bed with him tonight.

⇨ Read other ForeverIsntEnough work here!

[jebewonmorelike]

Good Luck, Mickey!

wc: 1k warnings: a pretty flirtatious little joke made by ricky... do you need to be warned of that? maybe if you have a weak heart. otherwise very very light angst and fluff. pronouns: none used; n/a summary: planetmaster/idol!reader and their boyfriend ricky have to pretend they don't know each other while the cameras are on ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ this was a request! it's short and sweet but fun. i might want to expand more on this one eventually. spending tonight rewatching bp after work :,)

Positioning yourself in the wing of the stage strategically, you lean forward just a bit so you can take a look from behind the curtain at the crowd of unsuspecting trainees lined up after completing their second mission.

You spot a head of perfectly styled blonde hair sticking out from the group almost immediately due to the height of its owner. Smiling to yourself, you hop up and down a bit to pump yourself up. You can't wait to see the look on your boyfriend's face when you step out onto the stage.

The lights dim quickly, then flash dramatically back on as a producer gives you the go ahead. You nod respectfully and steady yourself as you begin to make your way out from behind the curtain and to the center of the stage. The boys gathered in front of you in neat formations begin to scramble excitedly; shouting and jumping with enthusiasm as you step towards the front of the stage.

Your eyes find Ricky, who is standing completely still as he stares up at you in shock-- not knowing how to react properly to your presence. Some of his teammates are poking him and laughing, teasing him about your unexpected appearance as a Planet Master.

You had met Ricky a while ago when he joined your company as a trainee. You would run into each other in the hallways at night, as you were always in a practice room trying to improve even after your debut. He could be uncharacteristically shy around you, since you were his senior (and he was secretly such a big fan). Needless to say, Ricky was incredibly surprised when you were the one who eventually asked him out.

"Hello Boys Planet trainees! I'm leader and main vocalist (Y/N) from Virtual Reality," you announce confidently. "I know you've only just finished your Second Mission, but time is limited when you're forming the next big K-Pop boy group!"

Most of the trainees begin another uproar, some complaining that they're exhausted and some shouting for you to hurry up and announce the next mission already. You sympathize with both sets of emotions.

You glance at Ricky, who is now smirking at you from the crowd-- eyebrows raised as he chews his cheek. Fighting the urge to grin back at him winningly, your eyes return to your script card in your hand.

"The Third Mission is..." You look back at the screen behind you and gesture towards it as a new pair of words appear. “Artist Battle!"

Yet another commotion ensues and you suddenly understand why the boys kept losing their voices in the first two missions. As you finish your script, announcing that teams will be formed and then re-formed after eliminations, you're instructed to meet and greet the trainees and give them your well wishes.

After a half hour of greeting all of the contestants and having to pretend like you'd never met any of them before in your life, an especially familiar contestant strolls up to you.

"Hello, how are you?" Ricky greets formally as a few of the trainees he is closest with giggle behind him. "It's so nice to finally meet you."

"Hi, how are you?" You return, extending your hand for him to shake as you bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing in front of the staff. "What did you say your name was?"

"Ricky," he replies, taking your hand in his and shaking it firmly. "And your name is?"

You squeeze his hand hard, raising your eyebrows in a stern warning. Too far, you mouth.

"Ow!" He whines before looking around to smile nervously at the closely observing staff. "I mean, WOW that joke did not land! Of course I know who you are. I love you."

You pinch his hand harder.

"--R WORK! I love your work," Ricky corrects after your warning, but the mischievous glint is still in his eyes. "I'm a big fan of your entire body of work."

Zhang Hao and Kuan Jui have to excuse themselves as they burst into laughter, running out into the hall to (most likely) tell everyone what Ricky just said with cameras rolling.

Ricky smiles at you smugly and you finally drop his hand. A producer frowns at you both confusedly. "Do you two... know each other or something?"

Ricky shakes his head. "Where would I have met the leader and main vocalist of Virtual Reality before?"

The producer nods, shrugging in agreement. "Huh. You just have good chemistry is all."

"He's not my type," you reply coolly, eyes narrowing as you glare at your boyfriend.

"Hey," Ricky pouts softly; a little frown forming on his lips.

You fight the urge to lift up on your toes and give your tall, handsome boyfriend a peck, opting instead to pat him on the shoulder and give him a boastful grin. "It was nice to meet you, Nicky!"

His eyebrows furrow now, the adorable pout growing deeper (and more powerful). "It's Ricky."

"Good luck, Mickey!" You call over your shoulder with a wave, following two staff members out the door.

~

Walking through the empty hall to the back parking lot after you've finished removing your wardrobe and makeup in your dressing room, you see your favorite trainee (okay-- your second favorite trainee. Red House Mingyu is actually your favorite but you can NOT tell Ricky that) waiting for you in the doorway.

"Hey Nicky," you greet with a laugh as Ricky looks up from his phone.

"Stoooooop," he whines, basically collapsing in your arms as you hug him. Into your shoulder, he mumbles, "I am your type."

You kiss his cheek, rubbing his back comfortingly. "You totally are my type.”

"I can't believe you're hosting the show I'm on," he says, pulling back from the hug to look at you. "You told me you were getting the cats bathed today."

You throw your head back in a laugh. "Cats don't get bathed, lovey."

He laughs awkwardly. “Oh."

"I thought that was such an obvious lie that you'd catch on!" You exclaim, grabbing his hand in yours and swinging them back and forth playfully.

Ricky looks around, checking if any staff are lingering in the hallway before swinging open the door and pulling you through.

"Where do you think you're going?" You ask with a giggle as Ricky pulls you towards your car.

"To get ramen with you," he replies with a smile, raising your hand in his above your head so he can twirl you around.

You spin around with a grin, bowing after the impromptu dance move before he continues to pull you along. You watch as his pretty, dangly earring jingles while he runs.

"Fine," you relent with a grin. "But you're gonna have to buy me a lot of ramen to make up for that body joke."

[kirislovelygf]

wash day (tsireya x fem! metkayina reader)

contents: you and tsireya are gfs, you braid her hair, jealous reader, kissing, intimate date, flirting, wlw cuteness, tsireya oneshot, very short story <33

wrd count: 1047 words

̩͙✧ ₊˚𖦹

tsireya’s hair was always gorgeous. always put together, always smelling like the beach. perfect.

but that was only thanks to her mom and brother. she always hated doing her hair on her own.

but today, both ao’nung and ronal were busy. so she went to find her girlfriend to help her. tsireya’s usually long, softy, curly hair was neat and put together but today it looked like..

like she was struck by lightning.

so she woke up earlier than everyone and washed her hair like normal. even with her soaps and mixtures, it still looked like a bird's nest.

once it was ready enough, she went to y/n’s marui and quickly made her presence known by calling her name.

you could hear y/n getting up and yawning while walking to the entrance.

“reya! what are you- OH!” she jumped at tsireya’s unfortunate hair once she opened the curtain. in their year and a half of dating, she’s never seen her like this.

“oh! my.. what did you do to your hair? it’s all.. how is sitting up like that?” she asked.

tsireya sighed. “i can’t do my own hair, can you help me please?”

“sure. let me get a couple things.. wow, did you cut your hair with a pincer?” y/n continued.

“y/n!”

“okay! okay, i’m sorry-“ she chuckled. y/n gathered a couple of her products into a bag and carried it with her as the couple found a spot to sit on at the beach.

y/n sat atop a boulder as tsireya sat down on the sand so it was easier.

“i don’t know how you’ve gonna so long without doing your own hair.” y/n said as she gently began to comb through tsireya’s hair.

“i know. my mom or brother have always done it for me, and they never have a problem. well, ao’nung sometimes does..”

“so make him do it.” y/n chuckled. tsireya rolls her eyes.

she winced sharply before whining. “ow! don’t rip my hair out!”

“i’m sorry! sorry, your hair is super tangled. i’m gonna put some of this cream i made..” y/n muttered.

she gently dragged her hands over tsireya’s scalp with a cooling cream she made with ronal’s guidance.

tsireya sighed out while watching the ocean rock softly against the shore.

“what would you like your hair to smell like? fruits orr..”

“oh! kiri gave me this uhm.. what was it called.. a serum! it smells like a scent that sky people use.”. tsireya was referring to coconut.

“oh! kiri gave it to you. interesting..” y/n picks up the tiny bottle.

“yeah.. kiri brought it over from her human friends in the forest. it smells really good!” she smiled.

“oh.. so you like how kiri smells. maybe you can ask her to do your hair next time.” y/n said, flipping open the top of the bottle.

“come on! don’t be like that. kiri’s just my friend.” tsireya laughed.

“sure! a friend you think smells so good!” she responded in a mocking tone.

“y/n.” tsireya turns her head to look up at her jealous girlfriend.

“i’m just kidding. anyway, kiri couldn’t stand a chance.” y/n leans down and kisses tsireya’s lips.

tsireya blushed and puts her head down again.

y/n puts the serum into tsireya’s roots, but just a bit as it was an oil and she didn’t want her hair to get super greasy.

she then began the braiding process. hours and hours passed and y/n was only able to do two rows by herself.

“shit, my back.” y/n groaned as she tried stretching out her arms and back.

“who taught you to say that?” tsireya asked curiously.

“lo’ak. hm.. we might need help. or i can just do half of your hair braided and the back half down.” y/n said, holding tsireya’s head to look at how the hairstyle would look.

“so.. like normal?” she muttered.

“…yes.” y/n mumbled. there was a beat of silence.

“yay! i’d love that.” tsireya smiled brightly.

“okay! this will be much easier.” y/n nodded.

she finished braiding the front half of tsireya’s head and left the back of her hair hang down normally.

an hour before the sun began to set, the girls finally finished up after adding a bit more scents and accessories to tsireya’s hair.

“okay.. all done!” y/n picks up her mirror and held it in front of tsireya so she could see.

tsireya gasps and looks at her new appearance. “aw, y/n..”

“do you like it?” she asks.

“are you kidding? i love it! and you did the braids so well!” tsireya said, wanting to run her hand over her head but worried she’d mess it up.

tsireya smiled and stood up too quickly, causing her to get jelly legs.

she helps as she falls into y/n’s arms and the girls giggle as they try to stand up straight.

once they actually stood, they held onto each other's arms to support themselves.

“we should have taken a break at one point.” y/n chuckled

“yeah, i forgot. i was having fun talking to you.” tsireya laughed.

y/n smiled. she took tsireya’s hand and they stumbled across the sand to go back to tsireya’s marui to show her mom her new hair.

on the way there, kiri crossed their paths.

“hi, tsireya. hi, y/n.” she smiled.

“hi kiri!” tsireya responded. y/n tried so hard not to glare at her but she gave a weak smile and nodded, “hi, kiri.”

“wow, your hair looks beautiful. who did it?” kiri said to tsireya, gently holding one of her braids. y/n then glared at her for even thinking of touching her girlfriend.

“oh uh-“

“i did it.” y/n said proudly. “nice! you look very pretty.” she smiled.

“see you guys later.” kiri waved and walked away.

tsireya reluctantly glanced up at y/n. “you look so pretty! ugh, next time she looks at you, i’ll feed her to the ilu.” she grumbled.

“y/n! she was just being nice!” tsireya argued quietly so kiri wouldn’t hear.

“no, she was flirting.” she said, looking back at kiri.

“whatever, it doesn’t matter. cause i love you.” tsireya kisses y/n’s cheek and holds her hand before they continue down the woven pathways.

̩͙✧ ₊˚𖦹

[piratekane]

fic: love thy neighbor

chapter title: crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon note: Another day, another AU - but this time make it collaborative! A dual effort by @kendrene and I to bring you some 'new neighbor AU' goodness and we are stoked about it.

The third time she hears someone curse loud enough to be heard through the walls, Beatrice gives up on the book she’s reading. It wasn’t very engaging to begin with, but she was going to give it considerable effort as it was the only book Lilith would even entertain for this month’s book club.

A voice not unlike Mary’s whispers that she can find the summary online and Lilith will be none the wiser. But she ignores that voice. She’ll just… try again. At another time. When whoever has moved into the apartment next to hers isn’t educating her on curses in… she thinks she recognized the Portuguese word for shit, but her rudimentary Portuguese greetings were reserved for her parents’ counterparts from Brazil and they certainly never used that kind of language with her.

The person - a woman, she assumes - swears again. Beatrice makes a face. Her last neighbor had been quiet, even in his death. She hadn’t noticed he was deceased until she knocked politely at his door to return his mail. And even then, the whole affair had been quick, neat, and silent.

This woman is none of those things, based on the fact that Beatrice has been dealing with this racket for what seems like hours and the various, numerous boxes spilling out into the hallway that start in front of Beatrice’s door and continue right into the next apartment. Some of them are open and most have large letters scribbled on them in marker, but no matter how she turns her head, Beatrice can’t make out any of the words.

“Hello?” she calls into the hallway, one foot still solidly in her own apartment. it’s never seemed so cramped here before now. “Excuse me?”

Something heavy and metallic drops and then there’s another curse - definitely merda this time - and the sound of something hopping in her direction. Beatrice pulls back, nearly ducking into her apartment and closing the door quickly, but before she can, a woman appears in the hallway, holding one foot in her hand as she balances precariously on the other.

“Oh. Wow.”

Beatrice frowns. “I’m sorry?”

The woman smiles crookedly. “I said, oh. Ow.”

No you didn’t, Beatrice wants to argue. But she doesn’t even know this woman. She looks young, hair cut to her chin and half pulled back, a cutoff shirt hanging off her frame and just above her navel. Her frown deepens. The woman looks hardly older than a university student. And Beatrice already lived through university-aged girls before; she has no intention of doing it again.

No, this won’t do.

She thinks about the diplomatic approach: introduce herself, how long she’s been living here, slip in a comment or two about the decorum of the third floor that she’s purposefully cultivated by surrounding herself with retirees. Her parents would approve of that. But the woman is still smiling, head tipped in curiosity now, and she’s waiting expectantly for Beatrice to say something.

Can you keep it down? Beatrice is sure those are the words she settles on saying, once the thought process behind them completes. While it would work best to be polite, the banging and the cursing did go on for some time. And, judging from the number of unopened boxes still awaiting in the hall, there may be a whole sleepless night of noise ahead. Unless Beatrice puts her foot down. Like, now.

“You look like you could use a hand,” is what comes out of her mouth instead, the moment the new girl’s fingers grip firm around her own. Her hand. Beatrice has never been more conscious of the tiny, bird-fragile bones moving within it, the play of sinew under her skin. The thunder of her pulse trapped against a palm that’s warm, but not sweaty. Calloused but not rough. 

“Boy, could I!”  Her new neighbor pumps their joined hands up and down, and it’s a miracle she manages to do so while remaining upright. Her other hand is still clutching her foot - the crash Beatrice heard tied to that, clearly  - so she’s balanced on one leg, precarious, like some weird, noisy bird. 

Although, what she really reminds Beatrice of, is an overenthusiastic dog. 

“Guess I should give you your hand back before I can use it, uh?” Heat scalds Beatrice’s chest, spilling past her collar. She clears her throat, staring at the space between them. New girl is indeed still gripping her hand. Beatrice slowly lets go. 

“It might speed things along, yes.”

New girl steps back with a grin, both feet back on the ground, and points at a pile of boxes. “Wanna start with those?’ Of course she picked the furthest stack from her door. 

“Sure,” Beatrice grabs one of the boxes at random, balances another on top. Finally, with her nose practically merged to the cardboard, she can spell out a word. It reads: rocks.

Odd.

//

Much later that night, the evening sky an indigo smudge framed by the bars of the fire escape outside her window, Beatrice is in bed and cannot fall asleep. It’s not that there’s noise. Ava - that’s new neighbor’s name - has pinky-promised she would tone it down, and to her credit she’s managed. 

Beatrice can hear her at times, the natural order of things in a building where walls are no thicker than wet wipes. It’s neighborly sounds: the shower running, a TV turned on low. The snatch of a song hummed tragically off tune. 

They’re different sounds, is the thing. Sounds she’s not had time to grow used to. Old Mr. Whittaker - Witkins? - he didn’t sing. He rarely even used his TV. How he moved around the apartment had been different, too. Beatrice can’t be 100% sure, but she’s pretty certain Ava actually skips from room to room.

A version of Call Me Maybe so mangled it barely resembles the original tune reaches her ears, and Beatrice is tempted to go close the window. She likes letting the late spring breeze in, though, that it smells of green things in bloom and summer to come. Plus, the fire escape is only accessible to tenants, locked on ground level behind a gate that opens with a code, so the whole arrangement is really quite secure.

Eventually the off-key singing stops. All sounds of traffic die. Beatrice falls gradually asleep, but the weight on her chest - the sense of unease that comes with having her routine so thoroughly disrupted - doesn’t lessen at all.

A weight on her chest wakes her, struggling to breathe, in the dead of the night. 

“Vince.” A voice she’s become painfully familiar with, whisper-hisses right outside the window. “Vincent, come the fuck out of there, now.”

Meow.

Beatrice freezes, immobilized. Every muscle group tenses in a methodical, frequently-practiced manner, starting with her toes up into the joints of her knees and into her hips. They’re tight, coiled, ready to jump at this sudden intrusion and disengage with this attacker. 

But her training fails her as the weight on her chest shifts and slides. She inhales, air like ice in her lungs, as something pin-sharp digs into her bare collarbone.  

In the dark, it takes her an excruciatingly long moment to put an image to the sensation on her chest as her eyes adjust to the sliver of moonlight coming in through the window. 

The open window. 

Where Ava, the woman who seems to be entirely made of catastrophes, is trying to wiggle under the frame, one hand outstretched as she hisses, her own voice cat-like.

The cat on her chest merely shuffles closer to the hollow of her throat as pointed claws sink further into her skin. They’ll leave a mark. Thick, soft fur sticks to her bottom lip and she strains her head backward so she doesn’t accidentally breathe it in. It seems to only invite the cat closer as it slides, boneless, into the space she creates.

“Excuse me,” she says quietly into the cat’s fur. 

It purrs loudly, an odd sensation against her breastbone, not entirely unpleasant. 

“Vincent,” Ava hisses again. “I’ll send you back, don’t think I won’t.” Something rattles, the point of a knee against glass, and Ava makes a pained noise in the back of her throat.

“I’m- shit.” There’s a loud shuffling noise and a deep groan as shadows dance across her bedroom wall and create a large, crouched and pointed shape. 

Beatrice turns her head as Ava crawls in through the window, body contorting in a way that it shouldn’t. There’s a low hiss, a slight growl. Ava wiggles through the opening, landing on her hands, her legs suspended outside above the fire escape for a moment before they slip in after the rest of her body as she collapses into a heap on the floor.

Beatrice feels the floor shake as Ava lands hard on top of it. The cat - Vincent - doesn’t seem bothered by the noise, purring loudly and nosing his way into the curve of her neck.

“I’m so sorry,” Ava whispers, voice strained. “Oh my God, Vincent.” The backs of her knuckles dig into Beatrice’s skin as she wiggles her way under Vincent.

That sensation isn’t entirely unpleasant either, but Beatrice doesn’t linger on that, all of her attention on the way Vincent’s claws dig into her skin and hold on. He yowls, scrambling out of Ava’s arms and darting away in the darkness.

Air rushes back into Beatrice’s lungs. She blinks at the ceiling until she looks back down at her chest. Ava is staring at her hands, still over Beatrice’s sternum, face pinched in thought.

“Excuse me,” she says again.

Ava, unlike Vincent, startles and takes a staggering step backwards. She trips over Beatrice’s slippers, placed parallel to her bed, and falls. The floor shakes again. 

"Are you okay?" 

For the second time in the span of a few short hours, Beatrice ends up saying something she immediately regrets. She should be angry. She’s furious. She’s -

Ava sits up, peeking over the edge of the bed, and refracted moonlight falls across her face. It casts a silvery aura around her, a nimbus, a halo. Her forehead is still scrunched up, in pain perhaps, but when she notices that Beatrice is staring, her expression changes. 

“Is it too late to say I’m sorry again?” Ava offers a sheepish grin, a small shrug.

“It’s too late.”  Ava winces, and because a sensation close to the kind of regret one might feel after scolding a child spears through a part of Beatrice she wasn’t aware existed, she hastens to add. “Timewise. It’s - what time is it, actually?” The cold, clipped tones of her initial reaction had made her sound too much like her mother. 

“Uhm.” Ava’s eyes flick to the digital clock on the nightstand. “You don’t wanna know.”

Beatrice sighs. Then sneezes.

“Oh, shit, are you allergic?”

“I don’t know.” Another sneeze. “I never had a cat climb on me before.”

“Yeah.” Ava shifts to her knees. “About that.”

“You’re sorry?”

“He’s new.”

“Like you?” A thud, followed by the roll of something heavy across the kitchen’s floor, prevents Ava from replying. She just peers through the open door of Beatrice’s bedroom, mouth open, eyes wide. A second louder thud reverberates through the apartment. The distinctly metallic sound of tin cans dropping on tile.

“I think Vincent got into your cupboards. We should probably -” Beatrice is already out of bed, flicking lights on as she goes. “ - get him.” Ava scrambles in her wake. 

In the kitchen they waste a good half hour and two cans of premium Albacore tuna trying to coax Vincent out from the cabinet under the sink. 

“It’s not his fault, really.” Ava tells her, somewhat muffled, while she twists her upper-body around spare bottles of dish soap and stove detergent. She’s got a knack for wiggling into tight spots, Beatrice thinks, crouched behind her with a flashlight. Hopefully, Ava’s head is wedged so far up the crawl space beneath the sink she cannot hear the sharp intake of air subsequent to that thought. 

Beatrice runs a hand through her bed-tousled hair and vows to never let her mind wander in that direction again.

“Right.”

“I mean it!” Hiss. “I got him from the shelter. Poor Vince, was all alone.”

“I am starting to see why.”

“You don’t understand.” Ava shimmies back, emerging from the bowels of the cabinet with a scratch on her cheek but absent a cat. “They wanted to put him down.” Her bottom lip quakes slightly, and she blinks up at Beatrice rapid-fire, like the idea dislodged a landslide of other memories inside her. “I couldn’t leave him behind.” She scrubs at her cheek, and her fingers come away red. “How much cleaning stuff do you own, anyway?” 

“Well, you must use beeswax for wood. And cast iron pots require -” Beatrice’s teeth snap shut around the rest of a tirade Ava probably has no interest in. “It doesn’t matter. You’re bleeding.”

“I’m… sorry?”

“Don’t be. Just come here.” Beatrice stands, extending a hand and hauling Ava to her feet. “Wash your face in the sink. I’ll grab the first aid-kit.”

“But Vincent…”

“He’s safe enough in there. Leave him until after we’ve cleaned this.” 

She takes a moment longer with the first-aid kit than she needs to, poking around the cabinet it’s logically stored in like she hasn’t recently restocked the one bandage she’s used in the last month. Ava is none the wiser, standing at the sink and staring at the dark gray microfiber hand towel Beatrice keeps next to it, lost in thought.

Beatrice takes a moment to drink in the sight of Ava. 

Her head is bowed, the overhead light sliding across her shoulders, bare except for the thin strip of fabric that holds her tank top in place. For a moment, she looks as if some otherworldly light is emanating from her, brightening her apartment in a way Beatrice has never seen before.

Ava bends over the sink, turning on the tap with a flick of her wrist. She cups her hands, lets the water pool in white palms, and brings it to her face slowly. It runs off her cheeks in rivulets, beads of cool water sliding down her neck and gathering in the hollow of her throat. 

Beatrice’s own throat goes traitorously dry, air locking tight in her lungs. A gauze pad wrinkles in her hand, the plastic loud in this vacuum she feels stuck in.

Ava turns her head and Beatrice can’t hide her sudden inhale behind a bottle of dish detergent this time.

“I found it.” Her voice feels unknown, like she’s just forming her mouth around the words correctly for the first time. She holds up the gauze in one hand, a small tube of antibiotic in the other. “Sit.”

Ava presses her face into the towel and Beatrice files a thought away for later. She holds it up; Beatrice shakes her head and Ava drops it next to the sink. Her slide into the chair is with a grace that rivals her rather abrupt entry into Beatrice’s bedroom.

She rises above Ava like a dark tower, eclipsing the sun. Her fingers curl under Ava’s chin, lifting gently. Their eyes meet briefly, Ava’s a honey gold and brown, before she focuses on the thin scratch across her cheek. She turns Ava’s head, studying it carefully.

“It won’t scar.”

Ava lets out a thin stream of air Beatrice feels against the back of her hand. “Thank God for that. It’s my primary moneymaker.” She smiles at the blank look in return. “I work at the university. The… the rocks? Nothing?”

Beatrice frowns. “I’m afraid I don’t follow. What do… rocks have to do with your face?”

“I’m the one who does the fundraising. People don’t like to pay for-” She grins a little, voice pitched low as she mimics the way Beatrice said, “rocks.” Her voice returns to its natural register.  “Unless there’s a pretty face selling it to them. And my department is made up of men who found the first rock, so they won’t do”

For a brief moment, she wonders if making a charitable donation to the Geology department at the local university might get her anything in return. 

“So, do you teach about rocks, too?” Beatrice asks to distract herself while needlessly re-arranging the contents of the first aid kit she’s already set down on the table in a line. Gauze pads, Neosporin, the box of kids’ bandaids she was forced to get the last time she’d been to the pharmacy, as they’d run out of anything else. It’s a rather minor scratch to take care of. Beatrice really doesn’t need to triple-check what she’s just double-checked in her head. 

She’s stalling.

“Uh-uh.” Ava slouches a little in the chair, legs stretching out in front of her. “A few. Mostly introductory courses. I like that I get students to really think about what’s under their feet. About what dirt and rocks are made of, how they’re formed.” 

Beatrice blinks down at her hands, hovering inches from the piece of sterile gauze she meant to daub disinfectant on. She’s hung on the tone of Ava’s voice, talking about her job. There’s a subterranean current to it, a note that invites Beatrice in deep. Joy.  Awe. For an adult to retain this level of wonder, it’s a rare thing. Like a vein of precious mineral, wrought from the underbelly of the earth out into the light. 

“What about you?” Ava is asking. Beatrice blinks to find that her hands knew what to do on their own. Ava’s chin is again trapped in the cage of her fingers, and Beatrice can feel her jaw moving, pressing into the palm of her hand when she talks. She tries hard not to think of the way Ava’s breath paints feather-soft strokes on her skin. Of the curve of Ava’s cheek that for some reason she aches to explore. 

“Do you play doctor often?” There is a teasing lilt to Ava’s voice, a crinkle around her mouth. It is a joke.

“Only when my neighbors sneak through my bedroom’s window at night.” 

“Yeah, not my best moment, I’ll admit.”

“You could say,” Beatrice dabs disinfectant over the scratch, inwardly wincing in sympathy at Ava’s slight flinch. “That we got off on a rocky start.” 

“Oh, wow.” This time, there’s no doubt, not that there was any the first. Beatrice heard right. “I think I might be in love.” 

The tub of Neosporin she’s been squeezing cream out of goes flying, skidding to a halt by the cabinet where Vincent is still hiding. Intrigued, the cat hops outside and circles it, sniffing. 

“Oh, no.” Beatrice feels horrible for overreacting. Ava certainly didn’t mean anything, She couldn’t have been. It wasn’t an attempt to flirt. “If he licks that he’s gonna be sick.”

“Vince, I told you the five second rule doesn’t always apply.” As soon as Ava stands, Vincent makes himself big with a hiss. “Fine, get sick then. See if I care.” A slight tremor puts chink sin her tone. It’s clear that she does.

“Let me try and get it away from him.” Beatrice suggests. She doesn’t particularly care for a scratch or a bite, but the mess is her fault in the first place. She should be the one to fix it. “If I can just—” 

Crouching low, never breaking eye contact with Vince, Beatrice extends a hand slowly. Her fingers brush against the tub of cream. Tighten around it. She’s beginning to pull her arm back when Vincent headbutts it, a purr vibrating out of him. 

“Oh, he really does like you, doesn’t he?” Ava says behind her. “Then again, who wouldn’t?” And Beatrice, who’s always kept her cool in the face of unexpected market crashes, almost loses it all over again.

“I’ve never had any- “She’s going to say positive but she thinks twice. “I’ve never had any interactions with cats before.” She’s still crouched, hand extended as Vincent rubs up against her arm. “He’s very… soft.”

“You don’t feel itchy or anything, do you?” 

Beatrice looks back over her shoulder, mouth pinched in a frown. Ava looks intent, more serious than she has in the hours Beatrice has known her. 

“Or your throat closing, or anything? I’m not a doctor but I watched a guy have an allergic reaction to shrimp once. I didn’t know what to do then and I’ll be honest, I haven’t brushed up on anything since then.”

Beatrice feels a flicker deep in her chest, a sort of affection she didn’t know was possible in such a short amount of time. “If I was going to have an anaphylaxis allergy to cats, we would have known when he was sitting on my chest.” She slowly retracts her arm and Vincent simply moves along with her, winding around her legs instead.

“He, uh, really likes you,” Ava says. There’s a bit of a pout in her voice, mirrored in the shape of her mouth. “He doesn’t like me that much.”

Beatrice tries to remember where she was with the Neosporin. Ah, yes. She continues to squeeze it out onto the gauze. She’ll apply a bit to the wound, then put a bandage on it. She’s successful this time, hands firm around the tub. Of course, Ava doesn’t say anything to distract her.

“Surely he liked you at the shelter.” She tips Ava’s chin back again. She has mesmerizing eyes this close up. Like circles of golden honey. Her cheeks flush.

“Well, not really,” Ava admits in halting words. Beatrice’s hand slips from her chin and Ava grabs it, holding it against her skin.

Beatrice’s fingers nearly go slack again at the sensation. She prides herself on her ability to maintain herself, though no one would believe her if they saw her now. Ava’s words register. “No?”

“Nope.” Ava’s mouth pops the p. “But he was there, being passed over for kittens. I couldn’t just leave him.” Her voice is trembling again and Beatrice wants to go in and find the source of it, to make it stop. It affects her in a way she can’t quite describe.

It’s unlike her. Everything since she’s met Ava has been unlike her.

“I’m sure he’ll come around,” she says quietly. She feels him against her legs, moving between them and Ava’s. She’s suddenly aware of how she’s positioned herself, standing between Ava’s legs. The inside of Ava’s knee is hot against her leg through her thin pajama pants.

“Or we’ll have to split custody.” Ava smiles. Beatrice feels it in her hand, still trapped against Ava’s chin. “We’d be tied for life.”

Beatrice’s chest shudders at the thought. It sounds terrifying and appealing. She’s unsure of where this is coming from - she’s known Ava Silva for less than 24 hours and the majority of their time together has been one disaster to the next. But there’s something intriguing about her, like she’s made up a complicated number system Beatrice wants to take apart and turn around in her mind. 

She files the thought away to be revisited later. Later, once Ava is back at her own place. Later after she’s latched the bedroom window shut and put a little distance between herself and a night that somehow feels like a dream.

“I’m sorry for the kids’ band aid.” Beatrice applies it over the cut with care, again taking a moment longer than is necessary with things to smooth it across Ava’s cheek and make sure that it’ll stick. Yellow ducklings swim on it, the band aid’s background vibrant blue. 

“Regular band aids are boring.” Ava doesn’t try to stop her from retreating this time around, and another small shiver ripples through her. It feels like something of a crack. Like the minuscule hairline fractures that sometimes appear on drinking glasses right before they break. Beatrice doesn’t think she’d have known what to do had Ava leaned into her touch again. Still, a part of her wishes Ava had.

“Uhm, anyway.” She takes a step back and towards the sink, meaning to wash her hands. “I never answered your question about my job.”

Ava’s gaze on her back is as tangible as touch.

“Tell me?”

“I’m afraid it’s a bit like adult band aids.” Beatrice clears her throat, forcing more words out. “Boring I mean.”

“I still wanna know.”

“Finance.” Beatrice has no idea why she’s so nervous about it. She’s never felt this on edge about telling someone what her job is before. It may not be the most exciting career one can have, or what she would have picked were there not so many expectations weighing her down, but she’s worked hard for it. The youngest associate at her consultancy firm in more than ten years, with the prospect of rapidly climbing the ranks. She should be proud of it.

She is.

“Numbers uh?” Ava hops off the chair and stretches. The t-shirt she’s wearing rides up, exposing the enticing strip of skin at her navel. Beatrice looks quickly away. “Like Wall Street and stuff?”

“Nothing that grand.” Vincent, who’s kept on following her, paws at her leg and meows. “I try to steer people away from risky investments, mostly.”

“Maybe my department should hire you.” Ava begins creeping forward. “Whatever money we get through fundraising is always gone so fast. It’s like the Geology department is built on a sinkhole that eats cash.” 

Finally within striking distance of the cat, Ava lunges. Her fingers close around his scruff, and she lifts him up, firm but trying not to hurt him. “Ah! Gotcha!” 

Vincent’s meowing reaches ear-splitting on the decibel scale. His front paws extend in Beatrice’s direction. She gently scritches the top of his head, and that seems to calm him enough for Ava to get a better hold. 

“Do you want me to—” Beatrice says, when Vincent digs sharp claws into the bare skin of Ava’s forearm.

“Maybe you could—” 

They pause, the cat suspended between them, then Beatrice extends her arms and Vincent leaps straight into them, nuzzling into her chest. She gets the impression Ava might want to join, too.

“Maybe I can bring him to your apartment for you?"

"Would you? I feel horrible asking but he's—" Ava's mouth sours. "Yeah."

"I don't mind, promise." So what if she's a bit sad at the prospect of Ava leaving? It's not like Vince is gonna sneak into her apartment every single night. She can be sad. It means nothing. It's fine. "Lead the way?"

"Okay, but we have to go the long way round." Ava nods at the door to the bedroom and Beatrice's heart skips several beats. "I don't have my keys."

Oh.

God.

[polkadotjohnson]

Warning - this has about 19k words

So I just finished posting Inamourada and then I was like, wait, protag slashes their arm every other day to give it to him and is fine and he was making all that drama about not wanting to touch silver just because… it would burn a little? So I wrote this.

Tried to fix/address other stuff also that didn't make sense in part 1 because I wrote that in a 3 day frenzy. Don't know if I got all of it… I've been trying to post this for like a week, but everytime I try I find something new to fix, to add, to delete, and this is the last time or it will live in my Drive forever along with many, many others. If you do find something that doesn't make sense tell me so I can cry try to fix it or something thank you for your services

There's... smut? Kinda? Can't really write detailed stuff when I can't even decide protag's gender fml and I wouldn't really feel comfortable posting explicit stuff here even though my ao3 is pure filth Speaking of ao3, this would probably be rated 'M' there.

🦈 guess I'm jumping all kinds of sharks 🦈 with...

Your Best Nightmare, a sequel to Inamourada

1

"So... When are you going to bite me for real?" You don't take your eyes off the road, but can still see him squirming beside you.

Even with the small orange plant now in the backseat, he's still visibly uncomfortable in your tiny old car. He's too tall, his legs are too long, and you know he's more of a perching than sitting kind of guy. "I'm not sure what you mean. I bit you just the other night."

This time you quickly glance at him so you can scoff while looking directly at him. "It didn't even break the skin!" Although you really, really enjoyed it. You thought that would be it, that he was finally granting your wish, but it seems his words were more real than you imagined. He really was just toying with you.

Drinking his blood did heal you, but it didn't change you. And his emergency self-surgery left a nasty scar on his neck, which you were quick to clean and bandage. The piercing burned his fingers too, but he didn't even let you look at them. You tossed all your silver accessories away.

"Just... wait a little longer."

You want to ask, for what? But annoying him doesn't seem the way to get things to happen.

You glance at your watch. "An hour and a half til dawn. Wanna stop at the next town and search for a place to crash?"

"Yes." He sounds so relieved that you smile. "You are going to ditch this shoe box and find a bigger one."

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh, so you've brought your limitless vampirican express card then? Because I do have my savings, but it's hardly enough to just drop it on a new car, especially when this one still does the job. Or you're suggesting we joyride?" You shrug. "Cause I'd probably be on board."

He sighs as if completely exhausted of you. "You have so much to learn."

*

You're digging through your bag, trying to find your wallet, when the clerk starts to greet you. "Good evening, what can I-" You raise your head to see what interrupted him, and Vincent is standing beside you looking at him with almost feral intensity. You still have a moment to see the man's eyes turning glazed and unfocused before he turns and takes a key, leaving it on the counter. You grab it with a gleam of fascination in your eyes. "That is so neat! I mean, it's not the Ritz but still… wow."

"Which room?"

"Uh, fourteen." He leaves quickly and you follow, wondering what's the rush. Does he need to use the bathroom?

…Does he-

Well, you don't really want to go there right now.

"Lemme open it." The moment you take a step into the room, he's on you. His hands cradling your head and his entire weight causing you to take several steps back until you're right by the bed. "Woah, take it easy, stud! I… I'm…" Your heart is hammering in your chest, because you can't even pretend that you don't want this. That you don't want him. But you never thought he'd move this fast. You just kissed a couple of days ago. And you're still not even sure if it meant anything or just a pity goodbye, since you were dying and all. "At least let me take a shower first, and…" He's a dead weight on you. "Vincent?"

"...Bed." His voice is a little more than a whisper, but not in a seductive way. More in a 'I think I'm dying again' way.

"Oh, shit. What happened?" You try to get out of his way so he won't fall on you and push him as high up on the bed as you can.

"...Tired. Let me sleep."

You eye him suspiciously. "Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Hm."

"Do you want some blood?" You make to grab your new (steel) dagger. No response. "Vincent?" He's fast asleep, his chest rising and lowering slowly. His face is paler than usual and his forehead is cold, despite the droplets of sweat that just started forming there. This can't be good.

Careful not to wake him up, you lift the bandage on his neck and flinch. You have no idea how you couldn't smell it before. The wound is festering, pus leaks from it freely now that it's uncovered. You quickly grab your first aid kit and try to clean it as best as you can. It continues leaking until you cover it with a fresh bandage.

It takes you six tries to light up your cigarette with how much you're trembling, and you don't even realize you've lit up a second one until you finish it and see two butts in the ashtray.

What are you going to do? This is all your fault. Titanium, steel, gold, aluminum, brass, bronze, copper, plastic, bone. Why did you have to be wearing silver piercings? Why did you have to try and do something you knew you weren't going to be able to?

Why did he have to help you? He should have just left you there. Isn't he supposed to be a monster?

You grab your blade and make a small cut next to other scars and stand next to him. "Please." Please have some. I'm sure it'll make you better." You let it drip into his parted lips just like you did that night that now seems like so long ago. The blood runs down the side of his mouth and dies in a red dot on the bed. "Fuck! What do I do?"

"...Be quiet and go to sleep…" His tongue does peek out to lick at the blood you tried to feed him.

Making sure the blinds and windows are well closed, you take off your shoes to do just that, but not before removing his first.

(You were wondering if his feet were clawed too. They aren't.)

His face is still cold to your touch, and you throw a blanket over him before you turn out the lights and lie down beside him.

*

The bed looks like a crime scene. Besides the blood you've spilled over him, you completely forgot to dress your wound, and apparently you tossed and turned all night, spreading red everywhere. You were so scared to fall asleep only to wake up with him dead by your side that the stress ironically made you so tired that you blacked out.

He's still breathing slowly. If it weren't for his flaxen complexion, you'd think everything was okay.

Your watch tells you it's 3:15 p.m., and your stomach complains about being neglected. "I doubt this place has room service," you say with a weak laugh as you get up. "Try not to die while I'm away, okay asshole?" He doesn't stir, and you open the door just a little, hanging a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob.

After raiding the vending machines, you grab your laptop from your car, searching through your spell books, which you took the trouble to digitalize. But they're all mainly about necromancy, there's nothing about silver poisoning. The internet isn't helpful either. To the world, things like vampires and necromancers are nothing but fiction. You're lucky your grandma left you those books. Reading about the various different resurrection spells, you found there was a specific one for vampires, which is when you found out the possibility they could actually be real, and that's when your whole obsession to find and become one started. You knew the books were serious when your cat was run over and you tried a spell on him. He lived to be 28, which is highly uncommon for a cat.

And no matter how many books you read, one law was always the same: no creature can be revived twice. You still tried with your cat a second time, but nothing happened. At least you got to spend a long time together, and you were thankful for that.

But this has nothing to do with your current predicament, and you need to figure out what to do. He was fine the past few days, why did he suddenly collapse like that? Was it after he used his powers on the clerk? That had to be it. "I could have paid for the room, you didn't have to show off."

You return to the room and sit beside him, leaning against the headboard. He rustles under the covers and your heart hurts a little looking at his pained expression. "You really don't know what I should do? How do you get better?"

He takes a deep breath, but doesn't open his eyes. "...I'm trying to sleep it off."

You groan. "Dude, it's not a hangover! Your neck is fucking rotting!" 

"You're being dramatic."

"No, I'm really not! You have to know what to do! Last time you were dying you didn't say anything, so I had to figure it out on my own. Don't be like that again." He doesn't say anything to that, and you sigh. "I could try to stitch it…"

"Wouldn't work."

"Why?"

"...It just wouldn't."

With the way the wound is necrosing, he's probably right. There's something you've been meaning to ask him ever since that day but kept forgetting. "Why didn't you cut yourself with your claws?"

"I… can't hurt myself with them, only others."

"Oh. It's probably for the best though, I mean what kinda mishaps you could have in the toil- uh, I mean…" You look at your watch. "Oh, look, it's uh, 4:08 y'know, dessert time. Be right back." You're off the bed and out the door before he can even open his mouth. You think even your hair is burning. Why don't you think before you speak?

You don't really want dessert, and besides, you left your wallet behind. So you just sit on the floor beside the door with your head down, wishing a hole would magically appear and drag you to hell.

"...Come back."

"Shit! How did you know I was still here? You're not using your powers again, are you? Because I'm pretty sure that's what got you like that."

"I can see your shadow."

"Oh." Betrayed by your own shadow.

Closing the door behind you, you lie on your side so you can face him. You try to tell yourself he's looking slightly better, hoping it's not just wishful thinking. "Does it hurt?"

The smallest movement of his shoulders. "Less than being staked through the heart."

You wince. "There has to be something we can do. Someone that can help us."

For the longest time he doesn't say anything, and you think he's fallen asleep again. Then he raises a hand. "Give me a map." You immediately bring up one on your phone. He points to a name, probably a small town. Doesn't seem to be far away from where you are right now. "I know someone here."

"...You have friends?"

He chuckles silently. "Something like that. Although I doubt any of them were ever stupid enough to get silver in their bloodstream."

"Well, let's go then!" You start to get up but he holds your arm.

"Show me."

For the shortest moment you have no idea what he's talking about. Then you fish the silver pendant from under your clothes so he can see it. An owl sitting on a crescent moon. You fell in love with it instantly.

It was in a jewelry box he handed you a few hours after you were on the road. It belonged to his mother, and you wondered how his life would have turned out if she had been wearing it the night the vampire who turned him showed up.

"Can you walk?"

He pulls you with enough force that you fall back on the bed. "Wait until the sun sets."

"Oh, right. That probably would be for the best."

2

"Are they cemetery ghouls like you?"

He's reclined the seat as far as it would go, but it still looks uncomfortable. "You mean like us. Don't worry. They'll know when I'm nearby, and they'll make themselves known."

Before leaving, you offered him your arm again and he took it, drinking enough to regain some of his strength. And his wound looked... only slightly worse.

"Who-"

"Let me rest."

"Ugh, fine." It's probably for the best anyway. The radio is low, and you sing along, quiet enough that you don't think you're bothering him.

"You have a nice voice."

Your hands clutch the steering wheel tight, unsure if you heard him right. Because other than the taste of your blood, this is the first time he's ever complimented you. You look at him to make sure you didn't imagine it, but his eyes are closed, arms crossed and breathing slow. "Watch the road."

"Shit! How-"

"Listen. They can't know I'm… unwell. If they do, they might do something." He pulls up on the collar of the overcoat he put on before you left, making sure it's covering the wound.

"They might do something? What kind of friends are those?"

"I never said they were my friends."

"Alright, alright, whatever. But then… how are we going to ask them for information about silver?"

"I guess we'll just have to… work it into conversation."

"Great." You drive in silence for a while longer. But there is something you just have to ask. "So… what if I asked for one of them to bite me?"

He yawns. "You wouldn't. You want me."

It hits all at once: face burning, cold, freezing butterflies in your stomach, anger, resignation. You barely pay attention to his explanations that not everyone has the ability to turn others anyway, certainly not them. "You're so full of yourself."

"Am I wrong?"

You rather not give him the satisfaction. Instead, you go back to the song on the radio, raising the volume a little. But you have to lower it again, because you don't think you've heard him right. "What's that?"

"I said you're under my spell right now. I could make you do whatever I wanted."

"Are you… is your fever back? Are you delirious right now?"

"Hit the brakes."

Your head feels fuzzy all of a sudden, and you obey him before he even finishes speaking. It makes you speechless, like you have so much to say you don't even know where to begin. "You… you idiot! You're gonna get worse again! Why… what…"

He sits up and holds your face with both hands. "This doesn't affect me like that. But thank you for your concern." He leans towards you, gaze going from your eyes to your mouth, but you can't stand to look at him right now, instead lying your head on his chest and trying to pull him closer.

"Is it because I drank your blood? He hums in affirmation. "So? What would you have me do, then?"

"...That is your instinct? I say I can control everything you do and you get closer to me?"

"I've never had much self-preservation, what do you want me to say?" Besides, he's said so himself. Why waste energy when you're so willing?

"You should definitely never get near Sebastian." He pulls away from you and lies back down, and you resume driving after a moment.

Nothing he says or does makes much sense to you. Why did he even tell you if he wasn't going to make you do anything?

You suppose he's just a hedonist, doing what he wants, whenever he feels like it without thinking too much about it. 

…Not that you're all that different if you're being honest "We're almost there."

"Hm." You can hear a tinge of grumpiness in his voice that makes you giddy, but you try not to let it show in your face.

You want him to kiss you all the time. You want him to kiss you until your lips fall off. But to know that he might feel the same even if just a little makes you almost happier than if you had let him.

You park the car next to a sign that indicates the name of the town. "I think this is it. What do-" A sudden bump on the roof of the car interrupts you, and he sits up quickly.

"Remember, whatever you do, don't-"

"Hey, Vincent, so it's really you!" Someone's upside down face appears out his window. A woman, you can't tell much about her other than she's obviously a vampire too, the pale face and red eyes giving it away almost immediately. "Long, long time no see. What brings you back to my humble abode?"

He smiles pleasantly. "Grace. Still as much energy as the last time we saw each other, I see."

"Oh, you mean when you left me for dead and ran away with your next conquest? Yeah, good times. He's here too, by the way. Said you got tired of him even faster than you did me." She plops down to the ground, and someone opens the door on your side, pulling you out of the car before you have a chance to protest.

"What's that, are you bringing us fresh meals now?" The vampire starts to examine you, his eyes going straight to the pendant you're wearing, but Vincent pulls you away from his grip, snaking an arm around you.

"Sorry, not for you." Despite his condition, you feel safe enough now that you allow yourself to check them out. They're both so unnecessarily attractive that it makes you feel inadequate. The woman, Grace, has a doll face, black hair with a white strand that makes her look like a Hollywood starlet. You still don't know the man's name, but despite him having a more generic beauty, it is the kind that makes you think of superhero movies. "I seem to remember having taught you well how to get any prey you so desired, Paul. So eyes off what's mine."

His words shouldn't floor you like they do, you know it's mostly for show. And looking at them does make you wonder what he's doing hanging around with you when apparently those are his standards.

Then again, you are his willing food source.

Grace checks you out, much like you did with her, and turns to the man. "Have I told you Paul, how many times he told me I was perfect? I bet it was the same with you."

"Nnnope." Paul crosses his arms with a smirk, still eyeing your pendant. "We weren't much for talking, anyway." He winks and clicks his tongue, and Grace slaps his arm.

"What can I say." His voice is right in your ear, making you shiver. "The heart is fickle."

Grace moves a hand to touch you, but pulls back after looking at him. You can only imagine what kind of face he's making. "Feel free to come find us when he's done with you. Vincent's rejects club. Although if he still hasn't turned you by then, I can't guarantee how long you'll last." She frowns. "Why hasn't he turned you yet?"

"You know, I was wondering the same thing." Her words don't really affect you, probably because you're still somewhat in shock that, of all the things you could have possibly found out about him, the fact that he's apparently a player wasn't one of them. It shouldn't have surprised you, really. You did see him go from the blonde cougar to the girl in a matter of days. "I've been asking him for months now, and nothing." His arm tightens around you, but he doesn't say anything.

"Months?" Grace raises a hand to her mouth. "Have you... have you actually settled down, Vincent?" You notice Paul isn't around anymore. You also notice you have no idea where you are. There's just an empty field and a barn. The third thing you notice is that you missed his response, and you curse under your breath.

A black cat jumps on the hood of the car, and you try to go to it, but his grip around your waist stops you.

"Brought Tony." Paul rests an arm around Grace's shoulder and she holds his hand. The cat looks at you, and his eyes have a red glow to them.

"Wait. Them, I can understand." You manage to turn around a little so you can see his face. "But are you gonna tell me you've bitten a cat? Why… how… you know what, I don't even know what question to focus on…" You call to the cat, and he approaches you, rubbing his head on your hand. "You poor thing. Damn, how hungry were you?" Vincent just smiles enigmatically at you.

It's the first time in your life that you're jealous of a cat.

"Oh, cut it out, Tony." Grace playfully slaps the cat's hind, and he hisses at her, then goes back to rubbing himself on you.

"You're such a handsome boy." You try to pick him up, but Vincent shoos him away. You turn again to chide him.

"Aw, thanks."

You freeze, finger halfway to Vincent's face. That's not Paul's voice. So who…

When you look at where the cat was, the only one there is a young Asian man with a sweet smile. He's cute. And naked. "Okay, what the fuck?"

Paul hands him some clothes he'd been holding, and the guy just starts dressing up like it's nothing.

Vincent smirks. "Tony. Was it everything you've ever wanted?"

"Oh man, I love it! Okay, like, I lost my job at Wendy's because they only had day shifts, but it doesn't matter. I'm having so much fun, you have no idea. Speaking of which, let's spar, I want my sire to see how much I've improved." He's already getting onto a fighting stance.

Vincent's smile tightens. "...I'm weary from the trip, maybe later. I'll trust your word."

"Really? Aw, man. Okay, okay. Oh and by the way, I'm loving this reunion thing, but it's gonna start raining in about two minutes, so we should get inside."

Grace and Paul start walking towards the shed. "Good idea. Then maybe you can tell us why is it that you're alive, Vincent, hate of my life. Or are you a zombie vampire now?"

Oh, right. They felt him die too, just like Sebastian. 

"It was just a… misunderstanding, that's all." He starts following them, but you stop him.

"Should I park the car closer? What if-"

"Just leave it. Nobody will want that piece of junk anyway. It doesn't even start without you having to sacrifice a small child to it."

"Oh, that's a little too much, don't you think? I just have to… talk to her gently. Give her a little encouragement, that's all."

"It's okay, honey." Grace turns to look at you. "I promise you no one's gonna touch it."

You can't argue with her conviction, so you follow them. She opens the door, and just a few steps in, you can't believe your eyes. The barn looks like something out of a catalogue. It was modified into a cozy, spacious house, every room separated by different kinds of partitions and an actual walled part, which you imagine are bedrooms and bathroom. "Wow, this is incredible! I thought every vampire lived in squalor like you." You turn around, but Vincent's still outside, the first droplets of rain already starting to fall. "Uh, are you planning on showering in the rain?"

He smiles condescendingly at you. "I can't come in. Which is strange, since I've been here before."

"Oh, I almost forgot." Grace watches him with, well, with a graceful smile. "I put up all kinds of protection spells so no one would find this place, and I think your credentials have been revoked. Oops." She doesn't invite him.

He glares at you. "Come out. Now." His usually calm and tranquil voice now completely stripped of every emotion but rage. Your head starts feeling fuzzy again, like it did in the car. The desire to do what he says is bigger than anything else. As you take a step towards him, Grace holds your arm.

"Don't be mean, Vincent. You don't want your dear friend to catch a cold, do you?"

Not being able to do what he ordered makes you feel like you're being torn in half, but Grace's grip on your arm is unrelenting.

His face as he looks at her holds the same ferocity he used on the hotel clerk, and you want to tell him not to do it, but your head is too hazy. You see her eyes start to glaze as both sides release you, his in your mind and her hand on your arm.

"Vincent, stop it. You can come in." For the first time in the night, Paul's voice is serious. He pulls Grace into his arms just as Vincent all but stumbles into yours. Despite being wet from the rain, from his expression you can tell he's already sweating.

"Why did you do that? You know I have this." You show him the pendant and quickly tuck it into your clothes so it won't touch him and pull him to a nearby couch.

"Still… too risky…"

"Why did you even give it to me, then?" You desperately need a cigarette, but despite seeing an ashtray on the coffee table, you're not going to smoke inside before they tell you it's okay, and going back outside is out of the question. You look around, hoping they won't try anything, but Paul seems to be making sure Grace is okay, and you have no idea where Tony is. "Do you wanna drink some before you rest?"

"No!" He opens his eyes, and almost looks like he wants to use his powers again, so you make sure to send him back the same exact kind of glare. "Not now."

"Calm down, I get it! I'm not gonna cut myself in a house full of vampires. Not even I am that dumb. I was gonna ask if maybe they had some to spare." You try to get up, but he holds on to you with whatever strength he had left.

"Stay… stay."

"Great." You smile unamused. "As if I didn't feel like your pet enough already." There's barely any space left to sit down since he occupies the entire couch, so you push him to the side a little so you can sit down and put his head on your lap.

"Aw, that's adorable."

"Grace… you…" You feel his shoulders tense like he wants to get up, so you hold him in place.

"It was a joke, Vincent. You used to have a sense of humor." She hands you a towel, and you immediately start drying his face and scrubbing his hair. Luckily his clothes didn't really get wet, just a little damp. "And what happened to you? Why are you like this? Does it have to do with that misunderstanding you mentioned?"

"...Bit rough… for a joke." He points at you with his thumb, but you have no idea what he means. "Arm."

"What? Oh." Only now do you see the clear handprint on your arm. Grace's nails aren't long enough to be claws like his, but they left an indent too. "It's okay, it doesn't hurt or anything."

"Says the… m-maso-"

"Shhhh, go to sleep!" He can barely speak and he mocks you. You laugh nervously. "You big baby! Tomorrow you'll be brand new." You're still laughing, but you know by Grace's raised eyebrow that she has made you. "Um, any… anyway, after some… things that happened, he gets a little bit tired every now and then. We're looking into it. But I'd really prefer if you could wait for him to wake up so he'll tell you all about it, I'm not very good with explanations." You hope you were vague enough not to give anything away, because you have no idea what he's going to tell them. "Can I smoke in here?"

"Sure." You fish the pack from your pocket and she hands you the ashtray. "Some human pleasures never leave us." She lights it for you with her own lighter. "Sorry about your arm."

"It's okay, really. I'm used to doing worse."

"...So you're just feeding this parasite out of your own free will? What do you get out of it?"

"I, um… well…" You weren't lying when you said you weren't good with explanations.

"It's alright, I get it. Your face says it all. He… are you asleep, Vincent?" No response. His breathing deep and slow. "He's terrible, and it took me a long time to forgive him. Him and Paul, of course. But I get it." Her tone gets a little jaded, but not fully. "When you're young and in love, it's like they've hung the moon and the stars."

You choke a little on the smoke. "In love? With him? Me? Ah, no, no, no, I, I just follow him around because I want him to bite me, that's all! I'm not in-" She looks at your hand, which has been ruffling his hair in the gentlest manner and you hadn't even noticed, and you freeze. "I was just… his hair is gonna look ridiculous when it dries and we're gonna make fun of him. Yeah." He turns in his sleep, pressing his face against your stomach and grabbing your shirt. Your heart goes ballistic, and you wheeze a little.

"You're swooning."

"I'm… sighing. He's too heavy and my legs are falling asleep."

Grace's smile tells you she didn't buy any of it. "My mistake, then. And besides, there's no point in holding grudges when you're eternal. Supposedly. Y'know, other than the own perils we go through being the way we are."

"Do you like it? Being a vampire?" You're so glad for the opportunity to change the subject.

"I hated it at first. Couldn't go to the beach, I miss the beach. Couldn't eat my favorite meals. Couldn't see my family anymore." She raises her eyebrows at you.

"I'm sorry. But me, I'm… there's no one anymore. I don't have anyone who will miss me."

She smiles. "Not a very smart thing to say in a house full of bloodthirsty monsters."

"I've known monsters. You're not one."

It takes her a moment to continue. "Are you sure? The whole blood thing was so difficult to get used to. And learning how to stop before you kill someone. I can't tell you there haven't been casualties." Her words do nothing to change your opinion. But you do wonder if you're the only one here who's never killed anyone. Has the cat guy…? "But now, honestly, I revel in it. There's so much freedom to do whatever you want. Go wherever you want. Well, other than consecrated ground, of course. Which did make some of my life harder, since some of my spells do use holy water."

"Spells, oh, like you mentioned you did with the house? So you're a…"

"A vampire witch." Her voice is full of pride.

"Cool!" You almost ask her if she knows anything about silver, but it would probably give too much away. And you want to tell her about your own little dabbles in magic, but feel it's better not to. At least not until you're sure you can trust her. "So you could have put a hex on him!"

"Who says I didn't? Probably left him with a bad indigestion at least for a few weeks."

"How long… uh, how long have you and Paul been together?"

She lights a cigarette. "Do you mean how long since this trash dumped me for him, then kicked him out too, and I was the bigger person and decided to give him a chance? Oh, about ten years and five months, give or take."

"Ten… ten years? Holy shit, then he must have left a trail of broken hearts all over the world!" You thought this was a recent situation, but it's clear this playboy has been playing for a long time. 

"You're lucky vampires can't impregnate or get pregnant, or he would have left a trail of bastards too."

You can feel your face burning, so you look away, hoping for anything that will allow you to change the subject again. Tony saves you by sitting down beside Grace, holding a bag with a straw.

"Capri Sun?" He offers the bag, then laughs dismissively. "Nah, just kidding, it's blood."

"That's right, you! You can… you can change! Can you all change?"

"Nah, I'm special." He slurps noisily on his plasma juice.

"Tony's the only one I know that has that ability. And it's not just a cat he can turn into, you know."

"Babe, come to bed, I'm cold." Paul does look like the kind of guy who would call his partner 'babe'.

"And with that, I'm off." Grace stands up, patting Tony on the shoulder. "But not before this. Raise your legs." You do so, and she crouches in front of the couch, raises it with one hand a little while messing with something outside your field of vision. The couch shakes a little and stretches. It's a pull-out. She waves and leaves.

You stretch your legs a little, trying to get Vincent to move too, but it's like moving a rock. Tony's watching you with a smirk, which you return to him. "So, you're from the heartbreak club too?"

He laughs. "Me? Oh, no, no. Me and Paul used to work together and one day he introduced us, and I just thought it'd be pretty cool to be a vampire. So I asked and he bit me."

"You… and how long it took him?"

"Hmm I think it took a while. I had to pester him all night until he did it."

You can't believe your ears. "Night? It took you one night? You just… asked and he did it?"

"Yeah. Why?"

You feel like punching something. "No reason." Just as you're about to ask him about his ability, he stands up abruptly.

"Um… you know what, I think I'm gonna finish this in bed." He leaves quickly, not giving you a chance to get a word in. Did Vincent do something?

"Listen, mister. If you're using your powers again, I'm dragging your casanova ass back to the rain."

"Hmm…" He releases your shirt and stretches beside you.

"Are you really asleep?" No response. So you sigh and reach for the lamp on the coffee table, clicking it off.

Even in this state, the couch is still smaller than the hotel bed, so you're much closer now. Even in the faint light coming from elsewhere in the house, you swear you can see freckles on his nose and trace them with a finger, then his sinfully beautiful lips.

You're not in love. You want him, sure. For a long time now, and this desire grows with every passing day. 

But it's going to break you when he leaves you like he did with the others. Whether you got him to bite you or not, you know you won't be strong enough.

So you tell your heart to shut the hell up because you're not in love.

*

The tinted windows don't let any light pass through them, but you can tell it's morning from the birds. You yawn and stretch, and then something else makes you startlingly aware that it is, indeed, morning. Right against your hips.

Any trace of sleep has left your system. Someone threw a blanket over you two while you slept, and you push it away, too hot for it now.

"Hmm…" He pulls you towards him, and in a second, you're in full contact with him. Then he starts to move.

"He… hey…" As much as your entire body is burning for him, you don't want to let him do something like this in his sleep.

"Yes?" Oh, he's awake. So it's fine then.

"I, uh, see that you're feeling better."

He hums, hand in your hair to pull you to his lips, and it's so much better than the last time. The time you were dying. Now you have the wherewithal to give just as much as you're getting, sucking his breath into your lungs and biting his lips whenever there's a break in the kiss.

Your hand moves without your permission, popping a button, then his fly.

"Wait." He holds your wrist, and your face burns even hotter than before.

You pull your hand from him in a flash. "I'm so sorry! I-"

He kisses your chin. "Wait. Let me drink. They're well fed, they won't mind even if they wake up."

"I… the knife's in my boot." He shakes his head.

"Do you trust me?"

The rational part of your brain tells you you should say no. But your instinct says otherwise. "Yeah."

"Take it off."

"Wha…?"

"The pendant."

You do so quickly, pulling it over your head and storing it safely in your pocket. Either it's bright enough out now or your eyes have grown used to the dark, because you can make out his outline as he raises his claws to your neck, scratching it softly. You feel anything but fear, turning your head to give him more access. You can feel your skin tearing and you sigh wholeheartedly.

Then his mouth is on you, lapping and sucking languidly, as if he were giving you a hickey. Also known as a love bite. You'd laugh if you weren't so stirred up. 

Your head is in a warm, comforting haze; it feels so good to have his mouth there, where you wanted it for so long. Even if it isn't exactly how you wanted it. He takes your hand in his, guiding it, silently asking you to continue from where he interrupted you. You palm him through his pants first, and he sucks a little harder. Your hand goes inside, touching him in earnest, and he stops to sigh against your neck for a moment before continuing. Then his hands are moving, all over you as if he knew exactly how to touch you, every spot that makes you go insane. Your unoccupied hand finds his hair, and you pull a little so he'll look at you.

You can see your blood on his lips, and you bring him down to you, tasting yourself. Bitter, salty, sweet, all blending together, and when your hand speeds up, you swallow his moans too.

When you open your eyes, he's holding your knife to his arm. "Just a couple of drops, or you'll never manage to escape me."

With your breathing still normalizing, your mouth has a hard time catching up with your brain. "I really don't think I want to." You freeze, feeling like you've said too much, wanting to take it back.

"Well, you have to. It's not just your neck." To your luck, he misunderstood you. He clicks the lamp on the coffee table and you see the scratches he's left all over you. "I know you like it, but I imagine you wouldn't want to give them a show."

And while you're sure you'll be wearing on your face how you spent your morning, you really don't want to make it too obvious. So you accept his blood.

It's ironic really, how while all your wounds are closing up, his seems to be the same. "Shit. I'll go grab the first aid, I need to redress the one on your neck too."

Even though the bedrooms seem to all be in the back, you open the door just a little, feeling like a single ray of light getting in would taint their home. It's still pretty cloudy, but you wouldn't want to risk it. You take the first aid kit, a change of clothes for you both and at the last minute, his orange sapling.

When you return, he's under the covers again, and after quickly washing up and changing, you sit beside him to dress his wounds. You try to keep your composure while you clean his neck, but he can tell what you're thinking without even looking at you. "That bad?"

"We need to talk to them today. Even if we have to tell them everything."

"Go find something to eat. They won't wake up before late noon."

"Okay. Get some rest too. Oh, I was thinking." You show him the pot. "If they're okay with it, we could plant it here. It's not going to survive long staying in the car so much. Then if we… if we find some other place, we can take it there. I mean, if you want to."

He smiles, sweeter than you've ever seen. "Sure. We'll do it tonight."

You stand up to leave, but stop suddenly worried. "And Grace… are you sure she…"

"If she hasn't killed me by now, she won't."

You're still a little uneasy, but he does know her better than you. "Alright, be back soon. Here." You leave his clothes on the sofa and he nods. When you're at the door, he calls you back.

"There is something I forgot." The seriousness of his voice makes you worried all over again. "Come here." You stand beside him, but he shakes his head. "Closer."

"What? What is it?" You sit down next to him, hoping he won't tell you he just remembered silver infections only last a few days and then the afflicted dies or something like that.

But he just lays a hand on the back of your neck and pulls you into a kiss. "This." He smiles. "You can go now."

That's… that's not fair at all. You're out of your element. You're fighting a losing match. How can you lie to yourself when he gets you so worked up with such a simple gesture, with a chaste kiss. "You're… you're infuriating." Face on fire, you stumble on your own feet before you leave.

*

The town is small and quiet, but there's a diner that catches your attention because of the tall booths you can see from outside. It's been ages since you'd stop caring about what other people think of you, but you don't know this place, so it's better not to draw too much attention.

Half the patrons inside eye you up and down as you enter, but return to their meals after a moment. You grab a menu and choose the booth furthest in the back.

The pie is big and hot, and biting into it, you just can't help remembering this morning. His touches, his smell, his taste, his noises… 

You're so not in love with him.

Just as you're deciding what to take for dinner so you won't have to return here, someone sits across from you. A pale man with blonde hair. His eyes a light red, almost orange. Your hand instinctively goes to your neck, and you try not to have a panic attack when you realize the pendant isn't there. You took it off and put it… where? Oh no, is it back at the house? No, it's in your pocket. In the pants you changed this morning. In the trunk of your car.

"I can tell you're not from around here. What's a little thing like you doing in a town like this?"

Thing. You hate being called a thing. But you smile sweetly at him "Just visiting some friends."

"Oh yeah? Wanna make some new friends?"

"I… I don't know, they're waiting for me and I'm supposed to bring them some stuff. For lunch." You start to get up, but he grabs your hand.

"Nah, stay with me. They can wait."

You sit back down, feeling a little drowsy just like last night. But it's different, his persuasion or whatever it is doesn't seem to be nearly as strong as that controlling power Vincent has over you, or his own persuasion. While the people you've seen affected by it seemed to be in a zombie-like state, you remain pretty aware.

"Don't make a scene, no one's gonna care. They know not to mess with me. I want you. And what I want, I get."

You look around and it seems like everyone is making a point to not look in your direction. "Oh wow, that's a little fast, isn't it? We don't even know each other."

"Easy to fix. I'm Noz, and what is your name, little thing?"

You'll stick a fork in your eye before you tell this guy your name. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."

"Awesome name!" From the shit-eating grin on his face, he really seems to like it. "See? Now we know each other, let's go." He stands up, pulling you along, glancing at a man sitting on the next booth. "Pay it for me, will ya?"

What is he going to do, just walk outside in the middle of the day? Will he burst into flames? You hope so. But once out, he seems just fine, and you wonder if it has to do with the weather. The clouds are so heavy you don't even know where the sun is in the sky. "Um, where are we going?"

"I live right around the corner. I'm gonna give you an experience like you've never had."

"We could take my car, I just have to get something in the-"

"No need, it's right over there." He starts pulling you away from where you parked.

You need to find a way to get to your car, but nothing comes to mind. "Um… what kind of experience are we talking about here? 'Cause let me tell ya, I've been through a lot. I could show you pictures on my camera, and-"

He stops suddenly, pushing you against the wall of the diner. "If you're so eager to know, here." He shows you his fangs, running his tongue over them.

They're minuscule compared to Vincent's.

"You're… you're a vampire? Wow! That's awesome! I… I… I've always wanted to meet one! Could you-"

Then he's all over your personal space, sniffing you. You try not to cringe. "You can cut the act, sweetheart. I can smell it all over you. Especially…" He sniffs long and hard around your neck and you close your eyes, holding in a whimper of disgust. "Here. So what's the story, morning glory?"

"I…" Thinking on your feet, you cover your face with both hands, pretending to cry. "He's holding my son hostage! And keeping me as his personal supply of food! Look!" You show him your arm, littered with scars. "I can't take it anymore, and I don't know what to do! I'm sorry I lied to you, but if he finds out I talked to another vampire, he's going to kill you. He's too powerful."

"Oh, I doubt he's got anything on me, baby. I've been like this for years. Experience counts in matters like these." Years, not decades. Okay.

"Really? Because he said he turned about two months ago. So you're probably right, you must be much more powerful than him. Maybe… no, I couldn't ask."

"I'll destroy him with one hand."

"You promise?"

"Yup."

You brace yourself for the sell. "Thank you! Thank you so much!" You wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. Now you're going to have to shower again. "Can you turn me too? I've always wanted to be like you."

"Well, I don't think you can be like me, but yeah, yeah sure. I'll turn you." You can tell from the way he speaks he doesn't really have the power to do so.

"Great! I'll take you to him." And just in case he doesn't buy it, you add in the most seductive voice you can muster: "And then we can have all kinds of experiences afterwards."

"Hmm yeah, baby. It's your lucky day, you better show your appreciation." 

As you turn to thankfully go back to your car, he slaps you, and you take a deep, deep breath before you turn back and wink at him. "C'mon, tiger." Oh shit, you hope you haven't ruined it.

"Rawr!" Ew, nope, you didn't.

He sits beside you, and while you could take him to the house, you don't know just how capable any of them are in a fight, and they're most likely still asleep. Vincent could definitely take care of him. If he weren't... unwell, as he put it. Besides, you've gone too far now to give up. You turn the key, but the car doesn't start. You try two more times. "Shit, not again. Stay here, I'll get a jumper cable in the back. Do you think someone at the diner will help me?"

"If they don't, I just have to tell them to."

Vincent would only have to look at them.

You get out of the car and close your eyes, silently praying to whatever dark deities might be around. The pendant is peeking from the pocket of your pants, almost falling into the mess that is your trunk, so you quickly grab it before it does.

"What's that you got there?" You scream in surprise at the sudden hand on your shoulder and press the pendant to it. "Ow! What the fuck?" Before he can move, you do it again, wishing you could cut him with it, but it doesn't have any sharp edges. But your knife does. "You fucking freak! You goddamn piece of-" You slash his stomach once, but he dodges it the second time and punches you in the face. You stumble backwards, the knife flying from your hand, and you watch the glinting blade with longing as he gets near.

Glinting?

The sun burns your eyes. It's just as sudden as Vincent said. 'Noz' or whatever his name is, doesn't even have time to scream and he's gone, dust and ashes already scattering in the light breeze.

You were never a big fan of the sun, but today you'd kiss it if you could.

With trembling hands, you put the pendant around your neck again, just about to reach for a cigarette when you notice everyone that was at the diner is now watching you from the sidewalk. "Uh, you guys serve steak?"

*

No one laughed at your attempted joke, but at least you got a couple of free meals out of it.

You turn on the radio but can't remember how the player works. Then you hit the brakes and throw up on the side of the road.

Did you just kill someone? Now… now what? No one seemed to make a fuss, no one called the police. Although it would be hard to convict you without evidence of an actual crime, other than the witnesses. Is that how it went with vampires? No laws, no punishment, no justice? Not that you want to go to jail for that garbage. But… it's the same the other way around, isn't it? They kill too, and no one bats (haha) an eye at it. Well, you highly doubt they're ever mentioned in any law book so that's the only way it can be.

You grab a bottle of water to wash your mouth and start the car again, the right way this time. Even though you're done with adventures for the day, you don't want to get back too soon while everyone is still asleep, so you drive around, trying to find something to do. There's a tiny movie theater, and you buy a ticket for the next session, barely paying attention to what the movie's about and sleep through almost the entire thing. When you leave, the sun's hidden again, and it's considerably darker. Almost 5 p.m., your phone tells you. Time to go back.

Your three new acquaintances are playing cards on a table, while Vincent still rests. "I thought you guys would be playing baseball or something."

Vincent sees your face and is beside you before you take two steps in. "What happened?" He takes your face in his hands, clinically examining the bruises that have already formed around your eye.

"You should see the other guy. Oh no, you can't, because he's pixie dust now. What are you guys playing anyway? Guess I should put some ice in this, huh?" You let him pull you to the couch, and Tony hands you a frozen bloodbag.

"Sorry, it's all we have."

You thank him and hold it against your eye, trying to sum up the events as best as you can while ignoring the tears flowing down your face.

"I know that guy. Well, knew." Paul winks at you. "Real douchebag. You did good." He frowns. "What kind of stupid name is 'Noz' anyway?"

Grace chimes in. "Besides, if you're worried about it, you did not kill him, he did so himself. Any vampire worth their salt wouldn't be scurrying around outside during the day, cloudy weather or not." She raises her eyebrows haughtily. "He was asking for it."

Their words do put you more at ease, but Vincent's face is dark. "I should have. I should have turned you." He shakes his head. "You wouldn't make it."

"...How do you know?"

"Because you're just like him!" Vincent's usually smooth voice now marred with despair. "Haven't I told you? He was weak, and so are you!" He gets up to stand by the window.

"But he did make it! And I think I just proved I'm strong enough, didn't I?" You want to be angry at him, but the fact he doesn't want to do it because he's worried about you allays you a little. Then something dawns on you. "You said… you said you fed him all night. Your blood, right? Which is why he made it." He nods. "So that means… if you bit me now…" You look at the bandage on his arm, then at his face.

"I told them everything."

He's the one who's too weak. If he thinks you'll need him to look after you and feed you his own blood, right now is not exactly the best time to do it. "Did you know? Even before the hotel? You knew there was something wrong, didn't you?"

"I had an inkling, when my neck wouldn't stop broiling."

You follow him to the window, hitting his chest with your fists. You imagine this whole scene must probably look like a soap opera to the others. "You idiot. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you do the thing with the clerk?" You hear Grace whispering, "Ooh, thing with the clerk?"

He wraps his arms around you, and you already know you're going to start crying again any minute now. "I didn't know. I didn't know what would happen."

"If I… if I hadn't almost killed myself, none of this would be happening. This is all my fault!"

"I heard you scream. If it hadn't been for you, we'd both be dead." He wipes your tears with his fingers. "Come on." He brings you back to the couch and hands you the frozen bloodbag. "I could give you more blood to heal this quickly, but I have the feeling you would say no."

You take the bag and press it against your face again. "You're damn right I would say no."

"You could take mine. Or any of ours, I don't think any of us would mind," Grace offers.

Vincent intervenes before you can reply. "That is out of the question. After last night, I don't know if I'm very fond of your… jokes. Best not risk it."

You elbow him. "It's okay, guys, thanks. Not my first black eye. More importantly. Do you know anything? That can help us?"

Grace shakes her head. "We told him already. The only contact any of us had with silver after turning was that I was wearing a silver ring, and it almost burned my finger off. But it healed after I took it off. I'm sorry."

"I gave him a suggestion, but…"

"Paul…" Vincent's voice is low and menacing.

Paul shrugs. "It's all I got."

"What? What is it?" No matter what it is, you have to try.

"Nothing worth trying. At least nothing I would-"

"Please!" You grab his shirt with both hands, your voice filled with desperation. "Please. I'm begging you. Anything is worth it."

"...He suggested I go to Sebastian," he says with an unamused smile. "Apparently, he's been studying all kinds of things about… us. Guess he really wants to be the expert in vampire lore."

You shake your head, not believing what you're hearing. "Then what are we still doing here? Let's go!"

He backs away from your hands, still strangely leering at you. "Do you seriously want so bad to be turned that you'd ask me to subject myself to him?"

It's like the world vanishes around you and a black hole starts forming in your chest. You can faintly hear Grace yelling at him, but can't make out her words, can't make out anything. "I'm… going for a walk. Thanks for the ice, Tony." You drop the bag on the couch and leave, ignoring everyone.

No amount of cigarettes can make you stop shaking, so you drive to a nearby convenience store and buy a fifth of whiskey, something you haven't abused in years. But you don't care. You just want to black out. You can't think. Don't think. Don't think, just drink.

*

"Ugh. Wha…?" There's a crowd of people hitting your head with tiny hammers. Over and over. You can't see them, but you can feel them there. And apparently they made you drink out of a toilet, because that's what your mouth tastes like. Why is it dark? Is it still night? You can't see anything out the windshield. But you can smell smoke and vomit. "Bleh, I need a toothbrush."

"And a bath."

You scream, searching for your knife. Vincent turns on the dome light, and you point the knife at him. "What are you doing here? Where am I?"

"Crashed against a tree. I found you last night. You've been gone for two days." Your watch confirms he's telling the truth about the date.

It also tells you it's half past noon. And judging by the heat, pretty sunny outside.

All the window covers and blinds you haven't had the need to use before are in place, and the one on your side is dangerously flapping thanks to a small opening on the window, which he probably did so you wouldn't suffocate. Or because of the smell. You close it quickly and fix the cover back in place.

"I'm grateful you still care for my life."

"Vincent…" You sigh. "Is there any water in the back?"

He shakes his head. "I looked for it to see if I could clean you up."

You look down at yourself and almost throw up again. "Oh, gross." You unceremoniously strip as carefully as you can, staying in your underwear, and ball the soiled clothes, pushing them as far in the back as you can. "Since when… you said you found me last night?"

"Earlier today just before dawn, to be exact. I'd have taken you back but we're too far away, there wouldn't have been time."

"Where are we?"

He shrugs. "Somewhat far into the woods. You swerved off the road and came rolling down the hill for a good while before this big, beautiful oak tree interrupted you."

"Does it look bad?"

"Your shoe box is done for." The above light goes out as he says it, as if signaling the fate of the car, and you remain in the dark. 

"Great." Now that you're properly awake, you notice it isn't actually that dark, you can see his shape quite well as he stares ahead.

The silence isn't uncomfortable, just irritating. Isn't he going to say anything? Does he still stand by that bullshit he spewed last… two nights ago? Are you the one who's going to have to bring it up?

"So…"

"We're going. To see Sebastian. If we don't die of sunstroke first."

You take a deep breath. "That was not why I said it and you know it."

For a few minutes, he doesn't say anything, and if you're not going to discuss it, you might as well try to fall asleep again.

"Do you love me?" Well, that plan is out the window now.

"Wha-what? You… you… you don't just ask people that!"

"Why not? I love you."

To say this is not exactly the type of situation you thought you'd be in if you ever got to hear him saying that is an understatement. Your jaw starts tingling when you try to speak, probably because you've been taking so many deep breaths, you think you're hyperventilating. After a moment, you try again. "You'll have to forgive me if I say I don't believe you."

He's still looking straight ahead, but you can see he's frowning. "Why? Because I've had other lovers? Haven't you?"

"Well, yeah, but… you seem to get tired of them pretty quickly." What did he say? The heart is fickle?

"So… how long is love supposed to last?"

You can't believe him. "Forever, Vincent. Love is supposed to last forever." He seems so childish at first, but then you remember who was it that taught him about love. And how big of a lie it was. "Listen, can we talk about this later? My throat is dry and my head is killing me." When he doesn't answer, you get a little annoyed. "Hey."

He doesn't just look at you. His eyes devour you from head to toe and he's breathing hard, panting. And you can only imagine the state you're in. Without even mentioning the smell, your hair is probably a nightmare, your makeup making you look like a mime from hell. And don't forget the black eye. But he looks at you as if you were a centerfold.

"...Can I have your shirt?" He unbuttons it and gives it to you without a word. He's so tall that it goes to your knees. His naked torso does put you in some state also, but nothing like he was. Still is, judging by what you can clearly see under his pants.

Even if he doesn't love you, his desire seems to be big enough to confuse his head. You're not sure you can sleep after such a revelation.

When you wake up, you're not in the car anymore, and you're… bouncing? "Um… hi?"

"Good evening." He's carrying you bridal style, and you can only imagine the scene. You, only in an oversized shirt and shoes in the arms of a pale, shirtless man.

"You can put me down."

"Alright. You smell, and you're heavier than you look."

You snort loud, once again in total disbelief of this person. "This is the first time I hear you joking."

"Who said I'm joking?" He does put you down, and you walk beside him, still laughing and without any idea where you are.

You look back. "What about the car?" You can still see it in the distance, not that far into the tree, just enough to have ruined the engine. You're lucky not to have a single scratch.

"I've locked it. We can go back for whatever's inside later." He takes a deep breath. "Listen. I get... irrational when it comes to Sebastian. We never got along, not even when we were kids. Which is why I've kept my distance from him. And our incompatibility only made us drift further and further apart from each other with ever year. Every decade. Before that night he showed up at my house, I hadn't seen him in well over fifteen years."

"But..."

"But... we're still going. I... I won't let him cloud my judgement like that again."

You suppose that's as close of an apology you'll get, and you're fine with it, you'd honestly didn't even think he'd say as much.

After that, you walk mostly in silence in the cold evening, and when he sees you shivering, he offers to pick you up again. Since when was he this chivalrous? But you refuse his offer, on the account of you being too heavy and all. He just laughs, and you have no idea what's going on.

*

Grace can't stop pointing from him to you. "Okay, you're gonna have to tell us this story."

You sigh. "Please. I need water. And toothpaste. And… and clothes and a bath. Please."

"Of course, I'm sorry." You let her help you out, devoid of energy to do much more than just sit in the bathtub and let it wash this entire day away. The pastel purple shirt with a Count Dracula holding a book and the words, 'My favorite thing to sink my teeth into' makes you smile. Something tells you it's Tony's, and when Vincent sees you wearing something that's such a contrast to everything he's seen you wearing so far, he even does a double take. 

Later in the night, you and Grace plant Vincent's orange tree in her own little orchard, and when you tell her where it came from, the look in her eyes tells you that you really can, in fact, trust her.

"Listen, if you ever need- if one of you-" Vincent casually calls you, using what he calls blood control.

He whispers in your ear. "It's best if you don't." He doesn't use the control as he says this, making it only a suggestion.

"How did you know-"

His hand on your face is so gentle you don't mind the interruption. "You're kind. You're too kind for the likes of people like us. Keep it to yourself. If they ever need it, I'll know. I just told them the same story I gave Sebastian. I never told them I died."

"...Fine."

"I don't like it, for the record. Using that on you. It will pass, but it is a vile power."

You had no idea he felt that way. "I'll try not to… make you have to use it." You close your eyes and lie your head on his chest. "You're not… the worst person ever."

His chest rumbles in quiet laugh, and he starts speaking, but Grace interrupts.

"Oh? Have we really kissed and made up then? Are you unconditionally and irrevocably-"

"Don't. Please don't." That's a trainwreck you're only too happy to derail.

A bat flies around a little in front of you, and then Tony's there again. "Found him." He grabs a robe that's hanging from the wall and slides into it. "He has places all over Romania, but he's staying in some secluded castle for the moment, middle of nowhere. I'll write down the directions for you." He eyes you up and down and says with a wink: "Nice shirt!"

"...You're a bat too? What else? Can you turn into like, a frog? A goat? A dragon?"

He just shakes a finger at you. "Secrets of the trade, my dear. Need to know only."

"And by him, do you mean Sebastian? You were looking for him? Why don't you guys use cell phones?"

"Well, after our friend Vincent here deeply regretted his harsh words-" Vincent slaps him over the head. "Ow. I set out to find him. And Sebastian is a hard man to find, don't think he just gives away his number to mere mor-, uh, immortals."

"Well, you know what they say." Paul's voice surprises you, because you had no idea he was home.

Grace smiles, rolling her eyes. "What, Paul? What do they say?"

"A mere mortal… shuffles not their own coil."

You have no idea who says that, and what it means.

"Did you get it? Is it like I asked?" Vincent sounds almost… giddy.

"See for yourself." Paul hands him a set of keys and Vincent all but drags you to the front yard.

The monstrosity is at least twice as big as your car, and it looks like something a government agent would drive. All windows are tinted, including the windshield. 

"V8, baby. Carbon body, alloy wheels, 2% ceramic tint. Should let you drive during the day no problem. I'm almost getting one for myself."

"It's perfect." Vincent looks at you. "This is a car." You had no idea he was this enthusiastic about cars.

"No, this is a fucking boat! Do you even drive? Because I don't know if I can handle something this big." A very, very intrusive thought crosses your mind, and from the way both Grace and Paul are looking into nothing, scratching their heads and clearing their throats, you can tell it crossed theirs too. Only Tony smiles innocently, looking a little lost. 

Vincent shrugs. "I've crashed a few vehicles here and there. Broke my arm once."

Resignedly, you take the keys from his hands. "At least I have the excuse that I was drunk."

"Wait. You guys can't go now!" Grace takes the keys from your hands and gives them back to Vincent. "I need to do a protection spell on you. On you both, actually. You do know where you're going, right?"

Tony raises a finger in the air, as if he just had a great idea. "You guys should take us to be your muscle, the car is big enough. C'mon, it would be like an adventure. Like, y'know like Lord of the… of the Flies!"

You frown at him. "...Not where I thought you were going with that."

Vincent glares at Grace. "Well, can't you do it now?"

"No, I have to gather the ingredients. Now come on, you can leave at tomorrow's sunset."

*

"Is your charisma natural or part of your abilities?" You're so far on the edge of the couch that you're almost falling.

"How do you mean?"

"Well… Grace said you left her for dead. And now she's in the backyard picking up stuff to make you a protection spell. So, y'know, I was just wondering."

"I didn't 'leave her for dead', she had plenty of time to run back inside before dawn, and she did. It was a long time ago, and we are very resilient."

"Hm. What about Paul?"

He sighs. "Paul knew it was just a fling, I doubt he's ever held any grudges. Are you scared of me?"

He catches you by surprise with the abrupt change of subject. "What? No."

"Then why are you so far away?"

"Listen." You get infinitesimally closer. "I don't know if this will be bad for your ego, but there has never been any moment since I met you that I was ever afraid of you." You lower your voice to a whisper. "But Grace is right outside, and since it's almost dawn, she'll come back at any moment, and I don't want her walking in on… anything. We are in the middle of their living room. And judging from the noise, Paul and Tony are still up and playing video games. So keep your pointy claws to yourself tonight."

"...Fine." He turns away and moves to the other edge of the couch.

He's sulking. Vincent, the master vampire, heart-breaker extraordinaire, is sulking.

"I mean, it's not like I don't want to touch you, but…"

"No, I understand. Good night."

He is not going to guilt trip you. He won't. You know this is what he's doing, so it's not going to work.

…

Sighing in disappointment at your own weakness, you get closer to him. "You're such an asshole." You pull on his arm so he'll turn towards you.

"What? I'm respecting your wishes."

"Yeah, you can cut it out now. The whole manipulation thing does not look good on you."

He smiles, running a hand over your face and neck. "I was so wrong about you. Unremarkable? You're anything but. You're clever. Astute. And you have your own strengths too."

"Yeah, well…" You pull on his arm until he's halfway on top of you. "You're clearly not one of them." You kiss him softly, the knowledge that neither of you will want to stop if it goes too far sending a most definitely welcoming shiver down your spine.

The back door opens. "I'm not looking. I'm not looking. Carry on, kids." Grace traverses the room quickly, holding a basket by her side, while Vincent rests his head on your chest. He smiles at you after she leaves.

"You were clearly right. We might as well sleep, it's a long drive."

Now you're the one who wants to sulk, but you know you really should sleep. But you don't let him get back to his side, instead keeping his head on your chest, fondling his hair until his breathing turns deep and slow.

*

"This will make you immune to anyone trying to control you, unless you look them in the eye. Lasts ten days." Grace rubs something on your forehead and has you drink from a crystal glass, and it tastes surprisingly good. You were wondering what you were going to do if a vampire simply used their powers to order you to take off the pendant. "And Vincent," she rubs it on his cheeks and hands. "This will allow you to use some persuasion without draining your own energy, but only on humans. It will also give you an aura of power, making it seem to anyone you're at least thrice as strong." He drinks it too, and something about the word 'aura' makes you smile, although you're not quite sure why. "Lasts five days. It's all I can do for you."

"Thanks Grace, for everything." You hug her tight, then Paul and Tony.

As you start the car, you glance at Vincent, who looks particularly content with the amount of space he'll have to stretch as much as he wants to. "Guess you can't deny that you do, in fact, have friends now."

He sighs, but the corners of his mouth do turn up. "And just like that, the air of mystery, solitude and superiority I've been cultivating for decades is shot to hell. My reputation has taken quite a plunge."

You smile too. "Aw, I'm happy for you!"

The new car is surprisingly smooth on the road, the seats plush and absurdly comfortable. But it will take you a while to admit out loud that it is much better than your old one. You do stop by the crash site to transfer the contents of the trunk and everything else you need.

"So, we just abandon it?"

Vincent shrugs. "It's so far into the woods no one's going to find it. Not in a town this small. Just let nature claim it."

You nod and pat the trunk. "See ya, old girl."

3

You were weary about driving during the day, but Vincent assured you it would be okay, it's specifically why he asked for such dark window tint. But you still stick to mostly driving at night, there's less traffic, and you really don't want to hazard him being wrong.

You try to pay for the room this time, but he decides to test Grace's spell before you can stop him, and you almost slap him. But it goes well, and as the clerk starts to wake up from his haze, he can't keep his eyes off of Vincent, shaking a bit as he hands you the key. It makes you grin when you imagine what kind of vision the man is seeing in his head as he looks at him. A boxer? A bodybuilder? Or he just sees him the way he is and inanely ponders about how that tall, yet slender man is the most powerful creature he's ever seen? 

While you shower, you think about your decision and wonder what he'll think of it. But when you come out and he's in bed already, shirt hanging on a chair, you almost go back on it. "I have a request." You lie down beside him. "Can we wait? Until you're better? Because I wanted it to be just like that morning, but I can't just walk around all bruised and scratched up. Sure, they'll look at me funny, but that part I'm used to. But everyone's gonna think I'm dating some abusive asshole, and I can't have that." The moment you realize you just said, 'dating', you choke on nothing, already thinking on what to say to fix it.

But he just pulls on your arm so you'll wrap it around his waist and runs the back of his fingers over your face. "I was barely awake that morning. You have seen nothing yet." And with that promise and all its implications on your mind, this time it does take you a long time to fall asleep.

*

Twice you are stopped, because of the non-regulation tint, you imagine, and both times Vincent just glances at the officer and he lets you go. It is a very helpful spell, especially since you were not looking forward to those tickets.

You grab the map Tony made you, trying to make sense of it.

"What does it say?"

You study it a little. There's a drawing of what looks like a castle over a hill, surrounded by trees and a nearby lake. "It's kind of like this place, but there's no lake here. I think it's on the other side."

He sighs. "Why couldn't he have used an actual map?"

"Well, he said it actually wasn't on the map. It's not any of the famous ones, which I think are just museums now, for tourists?" You watch the landscape dreamily. "Do you think we could visit Bucharest afterwards? I've always wanted to."

Vincent watches the castle you just passed. "Sure. But these… I just don't see the appeal, living in a place this big when all I need is a bed. Sebastian was always… excessive."

"Go ahead and call him extra. But um, I guess it does look kinda cool? And it has a nice view."

He glances at you. "Is it where you want to live?"

"Oh, no, no. I also think it's too big. A place like your house would work just fine for me. Even that I think it's too much, actually."

He takes the map, turning it one side then the other. "Turn here."

"Into… the forest?"

"Supposedly there's a path up ahead." It's late afternoon, so it's still bright enough that you're not afraid of getting lost, so you follow his instructions. "Where did you live?"

"I, uh…" You thought you wouldn't have to talk about it. "Just a small place, bed and a toilet. Couldn't afford much."

"Mobile home?" You nod quickly, shame creeping up your face. "I can only imagine how clean and tidy it was, after all you did for my house. Too bad it was all for nothing."

"It wasn't. Even if it was just for a short while, at least you got to see it kind of like what it used to look like."

You drive in silence for a while, and just as you're about to ask him for directions, he touches your hand softly. "Thank you." His voice just as soft.

You'd admit it, all your feelings for him if he asked again right now.

"You're welcome."

"Look." He points at a lake in the distance and a white structure atop of a hill that you can only imagine is your destination.

The moment you start approaching the castle, it's like the atmosphere changes, becomes more oppressive, and you feel like you're going straight to the final boss in an RPG, but your character is level 1. "Any last minute advice?"

"Sure, turn around and go back to Grace's. I'll call you when we're done."

You raise your eyebrows at him. "Oh, you're being funny again. That's nice."

He sighs. "I could order you to. But you know I won't."

"I wouldn't forgive you if you did."

"Just… don't go anywhere alone with him. Don't tell him you're a necromancer. I am not kidding or exaggerating when I say he is dangerous. He was fine at first, but something changed after he moved here. Bad company, I imagine. And… there's something else too." He looks away, seemingly unwilling to continue, but you wait patiently. "I lied to you. She wasn't the one who turned him. I did. She… wanted to test to see if I had the ability, and told me to choose between him and Christopher. Of course I chose him. I thought I was protecting Christopher, but in the end it was all in vain."

"But… she made you do it, it's not like it was your fault."

"Well, he holds a grudge regardless. And do you know the reason? He can't turn others, and he thinks if she had been the one to bite him, that he would be able to, like me. But that's not how it works. You… you don't know what's going to happen. You don't inherit the traits of your sire, it's all random. Tony's the only person I've turned that can transform. And there was a girl once who could create illusions, I've never seen anything like that afterwards. I imagine it could be related to your personality. Or maybe your physiology. I don't know. I honestly don't know." Just as the sun sets, he takes your face in his hands. "If something happens to me, go back to them. They'll look after you. Even if you don't want to stay with them, they'll help you out."

"But I-"

"Promise me. Promise me this one thing."

"...Okay." He kisses you with such fervor that you moan a little, blushing when you realize you've done so.

"Don't look in his eyes, don't forget." He opens the door and you do the same.

"I won't."

The door to the castle has a knocker, but it also has security cameras. Vincent examines both. He points at the knocker. "Silver. His traps aren't only to keep humans out, it seems." Just as you're about to use it, the door opens.

And it's an actual butler. At least he seems to be, judging by how he's dressed. He makes way for the both of you. "Come in. Right this way, please." He leads you into some brightly lit hallways, then dark ones. You take Vincent's hand for these, weary someone or something might separate you. The butler finally leaves you in a big, round library. "Master will be with you in a moment." With that, he leaves.

There are so many bookshelves that it makes you wonder how anyone would have time to read all that. "I want to laugh but… it seems all humor has left my body."

"If he brings blood in a teacup, I might." You do laugh then, but stop quickly as you hear footsteps approaching. And as much as you want to get this over with as soon as possible, you still kind of hope it's just the butler with the cups of blood.

But it's not the butler. "Ah, my dear brother and the Re-Animator. I called you Renfield, when really you're more of a Herbert, aren't you? To what do I owe the honor of such esteemed guests?"

He… knows?

Before either of you can speak, he continues. "You think you fooled me that night? I know what it's like to feel one of my beloved brothers die. You were gone. For a few minutes you were gone. And then you were back. What conclusion did you want me to draw other than you died and someone brought you back? And I see you two that night, being all friendly and domestic… it wasn't exactly difficult to put two and two together." He crosses his arms. "Who killed you, by the way? It must have been a powerful hunter of beasts."

Vincent sighs. "It was a girl. I was careless."

"Hm. And where's she?"

He shrugs. "Gone."

"And that's where you come in." He turns towards you, and you quickly avert your eyes, looking down. "Did your hocus pocus and… brought him back. Simple as that."

"That's right."

"Interesting. And how does it work?" He gets closer, and your eyes remain on the floor.

"I… well…"

"Aren't you going to ask what we're doing here, Sebastian?" Vincent is suddenly beside you.

"What do you mean? I was thinking you wanted revenge against this girl, who's apparently so powerful you couldn't do it on your own."

"I couldn't care less about her. But I've run into a certain… predicament. I got silver poisoning."

Sebastian huffs. "What? How? The girl?"

You decide to take that one. "No, it was me. He did it to save me." His eyes are on you. You can feel him, trying to peek into your brain, trying to get in. You don't know if he's just trying to get you to tell the whole story or what, but you do so anyway. "I was dying, so he cut himself with my piercing so I could have some of his blood. But it was a silver earring. And it infected his neck."

"His neck? Why-" He thankfully turns his eyes back to Vincent. "Why didn't you cut your arm? That way all you had to do to heal was cut it off and wait for a new one to grow."

"Because… damn you, Sebastian. Get out of my head, you know it doesn't work."

"I was wondering why you were about to lie to me. I didn't pry much that night out of respect, because it was your home. But you're here now, and you're going to tell me everything. You know, out of respect. And by the way, where is all that power coming from? Because I know you're not that strong."

"It's a spell. A witch made me a potion and I drank it." Well, it's not a lie. "And…" he sighs. "I didn't think it would work anyway. The blood transfusion. So I wanted it at least to have an… intimate moment, at the end."

"Aww, you're so soft it's giving me nausea." You can't imagine how embarrassing this might be for him to admit it. But the one who's blushing is you.

Sebastian examines Vincent's neck wound for a while. "Well, then, here's what I propose. Why don't we cut your head off, Vincent, right below the infected gash. That way a new one can grow, and you'll be all fine and dandy again."

You almost choke at the absurdity of his words. "Are you out of your fucking mind? Absolutely not!" You look him in the eyes, then quickly avert your gaze to the floor.

"Why is it that you're so demure? It doesn't go with that mouth of yours. Are you trying to hide that black eye? Did he do this?" You feel him peering into your head again. When you don't say anything else, he grabs your chin so you'll look at him, but you close your eyes at the last moment. "Tell me!"

It lasts only a second, then he's gone. When you open your eyes, Vincent has Sebastian's arm in his grasp, pushing him against a bookshelf and choking him with his other hand. A couple of people rush into the room, security guards apparently, holding what seems to be silver-studded batons, but you could be wrong. Because they're clearly vampires too. Then you notice they're wearing gloves.

"Down, boys. It's just my little brother being a pest. Oh no, wait. I'm the little brother. I'm always forgetting that." He dismisses them with his unrestrained hand, and Vincent lets go of his throat. "Fine. I was kidding about the decapitation. That would obviously kill you. But I do know a way. Follow me." Vincent releases his arm, and you both follow him. More dark hallways and sets of stairs. Down, always down. 

After a while, you reach what seems to be a laboratory, clean and brightly lit. A vampire sits in a corner, smoking, an IV strapped to his arm. His leg on a chain that goes into the ground. You can't help but ask. "Who's that?"

"That's ah, Turner. Hey, Turner."

'Turner' flips him off. He stops next to a table full of creatures in jars, some of which you have never even seen. "Our sire had the right idea. She wanted to train us, to have enough of us so we could assert our dominance in the world."

"That's what you got out of it? Because to me, it seemed all she wanted to do was feed and fuck."

You look at Vincent, flabbergasted, because it's the first time you hear him using such language. Sebastian just smiles at him. "I guess our relationships were different. You were clearly her boytoy. But I was her soldier. And I intend to honor her legacy."

"She killed Christopher!"

Sebastian frowns. "I thought it was the other way around, Vincent."

Vincent actually growls. "If she hadn't bitten him-"

"He would have died. Didn't you know he was sick?"

"...What?" He's so taken aback that he shrinks a little, shoulders hunching and hands closing around his elbows.

"I found some documents. Medical exams and whatnot. Something to do with his lungs. It's a miracle he lasted that long, actually."

"...You told her to bite him." His voice is so muted you wouldn't have heard him if you weren't standing right beside him.

"I have many more guards down here, so keep your cool, I don't know if I can call them all back fast enough. But it was for his own good. She poisoned you too much with her blood, that's why you couldn't see it."

You take Vincent's hand on both of yours and he looks at you, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

"Ours wasn't the only house, you know. She had many others. And I've spoken to some of her other… children."

This time it's Vincent's hand that clutches yours, as if he's trying to hold back from doing something hasty. "Didn't you say you knew a way? To heal the silver infection?"

"We're getting there, we're getting there. Look. All my mad scientists. Dr. Brown, Dr. Doom, Dr. Octavius, Dr. Frankenstein… We've been studying it for a while now." He grabs a jar from a table where all the doctors, which clearly sport name tags with their actual names, are huddled around. 

There is a putrid, rotted hand inside.

"Yeah, that's mine." You immediately look at his arms, but he still has both hands. It's also when you notice he doesn't have claws like Vincent. You wish you had paid attention to Turner's hands. "It got cut off by a silver sword. Then I did that thing I said. I cut the stump further with a regular steel sword, and it grew back, free of poison. That one started necrosing pretty fast, though. How long did you say you cut yourself with the piercing?"

Vincent's still looking at the hand, so you answer him. "About twelve days ago."

"Oh, good, we have time then. That thing took about twenty days to get like that."

"Twenty…" Your hands squeeze Vincent's. "What do we do?"

"It's simple. Didn't you hear me calling all the doctors names? I'm clearly missing one. Dr. West." He looks at you with a smile that is nothing if not nefarious. "So here's the deal. We can't do it. Yet. But… we're close, really close, and with all of you together, I'm sure we can find a cure. And we have a whole week to work on it."

"Okay." You only realize you were staring at him after Vincent pulls your head to his chest. But it's too late. It doesn't make much sense, because you would have accepted anyway. Not that you know what you could possibly bring to the table. You have zero knowledge in anything medical related, or biological… and your head is going numb. You think Vin- who? someone is calling your name, but you can't really say for sure. All you can hear is Sebastian.

*

There's a man strapped to a table. He's really handsome. But pale, too pale. He tries to raise his hand in your direction, but can't due to the straps. And you want to touch him, he makes your heart hurt, and you don't know why. But the voice in your head reminds you that's not what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to collect tissue from his neck, the wound black and festering. It stinks, but you don't care, you just feel so bad for him.

*

You give your own blood too, and you do spells in both creatures and body parts. It doesn't seem to work very well with the body parts, but Franky helps you out with that. He says his name isn't Franky, but that's all you can call him.

*

The pale man is even paler now, and the wound on his neck looks much worse. You think you're crying, but you keep moving towards him, until someone grabs both your arms, and it's only after some struggle that they get you to open your hand, and the scalpel drops to the floor.

*

You're strapped to a table.

*

The black hand moves.

*

The man is gone from the table, but there's a black stain around the area where his neck used to be.

* 

You cry, and more Latin spews from your lips.

*

He's watching you. Watching you sleep. You know that. You know if you open your eyes, you'll see him, and everything will be okay. But you can't open them, it's like they're stitched together. Your mouth feels the same way. But your hands are free. You try to pry them open, but nothing works. Then you reach for your neck and feel something there. It's round. A pendant? 

The owl. The owl and the moon. 

You open your eyes, but there's no one there.

*

You're on a hill, there's a fight going on down there, it seems to be a man and a woman, but you're too far away to tell. Then you realize you've been following him, because you want something from him. You didn't feel anything for him then. You just wanted the one thing. But now you do, and when the girl impales him with the stake, you feel it in your own heart.

"Vincent!"

"Quiet, you're going to wake everyone up."

He's there. He's sitting right there, right beside you. Why isn't he in bed with you? Oh, it's a stretcher, not a bed. You reach to him, but can't move your hands. "Why am I tied up?"

"You were clawing at your mouth and eyes. I did it so you wouldn't hurt yourself." He moves as he speaks, untying the restraints, and the moment he does, your arms lock around him.

"I… I thought you were dead."

He chuckles. "Well, you almost tried to kill me once, but it's okay, I won't hold it against you since you were high out of your mind. Well, high on whatever Sebastian's persuasion is."

"I tried to… wait. Did…" You push him away from you so you can look at his neck. There is nothing, no bandage, no scar. His neck is tantalizing and irresistible and unmarred, just like it was before. "We… we did it?"

He nods. "Sebastian has more knowledge now than he did before. I don't know how bad this could be. But it doesn't matter. Something to worry about some other time. He's gone for now, said we could stay for as long as we wanted, but I wouldn't like another minute in here." You remember very vaguely of your time at the lab. It makes you feel guilty that you could possibly have aided someone's perverse experiments. "Let's go." He starts to get up and pull you with him, but you remain on the stretcher.

"Wait. Shouldn't we do something? How about that Turner guy? Do we release him? Do you think he's using him to… y'know…"

"What? What do you suppose we do? Rescue the poor soul? We don't even know who he is. He could be better off locked away for all we know."

"But… but we… I don't know. Maybe we could try to find out what his plans are? Try to thwart them?"

"Thwart them?" He smiles unamused. "This isn't an espionage movie, and we're no heroes. What we can do is keep an eye out for him, there's no point in acting blindly."

"...You haven't felt it, have you? You said his power doesn't work on you?"

"He has tried it, and I can feel him digging in, but no. None of our powers work on the other. To each other, we're just regular people." He has given up trying to get you to follow him, but hasn't sat back down.

"It's… dangerous. I can still feel it. I can still…" You can hear a voice in your head. StayStayStayStayStay. It's not quite Sebastian's, but it's somewhat similar. It's weaker, but at the same time stronger, because it's making you want to stay.

"I'm sorry." This time, Vincent does sit down beside you. "That you had to go through that. But there's no point in dwelling here anymore. Let's get as far as we can from here."

Stay.

Your head starts to muddle. "I… I have to stay."

He frowns. "What? Why?"

You want to keep helping on the experiments.

"I want to… keep helping on the experiments…"

"What? No, that's insane, why are you…" You don't hear the rest of his words with how loud the voice is..

You have a gift, and you want to share it for the greater good.

"I want to… I… to share my… gift?"

He glowers at you. "Who is inside your head?"

Grace's spell is still in place. This is all you.

"No one, Grace's spell is still in place. This is all me."

He continues glaring at you, and you can only imagine he's trying to get inside your head too. "Tell me the truth."

Your mind gets even muddier, but nothing comes out of your mouth. His blood control has been broken.

Let him go. The truth is you know he's not right for you. And you lied to him, you do in fact want to live in a castle. This one.

"You… we shouldn't be together…You should go. That is the truth. I want... I want to live here." The words feel disgusting in your mouth, and your heart feels like it's physically breaking. It only worsens when you look at his face.

You've never seen him make such a face. Such a betrayed face.

That's right. He'll be okay, you've done your part. Let him go. You don't want to be with him. Time to say goodbye.

You let go of him. "You're okay now, I've done my part, but… I don't want to be with you anymore. Goodbye." Something keeps your tears from falling, but your eyes are burning.

"...I see." He stands up again and starts walking away. That in itself already feels terrible and wrong. But there's something else. Something else that's wrong. 

Not knowing what to do, you grip the pendant with both hands. The grasp of that voice vanishes for a moment and you stand up, walking around slowly, head still jumbled, and you look for him, but he's gone already. Your heart is on the floor. You try to follow, but the place is a maze, hallways that lead nowhere, rooms full of people sleeping. 

Something's wrong.

"Vincent!" 

You'll wake everyone up. You don't care. Finally, you see light up ahead and you follow it, someone must still be up. It's such a bright light. You hope you're not back at the lab. No, the lab lights are white, this one is more yellow, and brighter. Way brighter. And warm. "No." You look at your watch. 5:58 a.m.

You step into the sunlight and see him outside. He's walking away from the castle, closer and closer to where the shadow of it ends and there's nothing but sunlight. "VIN-"

STAY

The pendant touches your hand and you grab it. "NO! FUCK OFF!" You jump out the window, trying to roll as you fall so you won't break anything, and when you look up, he's right there, and so is the sun. "Vincent!"

He turns around just as the sun hits his face, and you try to stumble to your feet, but your legs aren't working, but you have to pull him away, away from the sun, you have to, you have…

But the sun is already shining all over him, and he's turning to dust, getting smaller, vanishing… your heart is turning to dust too, he…

He's kneeling beside you. "What's wrong with you?"

"You… you're okay. You're okay. You're okay. You're… how, how are you okay?"

"I thought you wanted me gone?"

"No! Never! There was something. I don't know. Something in my head. Telling me awful things. Please let's get out of the sun."

His face softens, and he stands up slowly. "Come on."

"I… can't move."

"What? It doesn't seem like it was such a big fall. You're probably just in shock." He tries to pick you up, but fails, then he sits down in the shade of a tree.

"What-"

"Shh. In a moment."

You just nod and watch him. He's not dead, that's all it matters. When clouds cover the sun for a moment, he picks you up, still with a bit of trouble. You think about joking about being too heavy, but there's no mood for that.

Soon you reach the car. You can feel some movement returning to your legs when he puts you in the driver's seat and gets to his side, closing both doors.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I said those things. There was a voice like Sebastian's making me say it. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it. And I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

He watches you for a long time, then rests his forehead on yours. "It's fine. It's probably that thing. He said it was harmless, but… we should really get as far away from here as possible. Are your legs okay now?"

You try to move, and they do, but it still feels too weak. "Not really. But Vincent… it knew about Grace's spell. When I told you it was still in place, it was the voice who reminded me of that. It knows about it… and the spell doesn't work on it."

"I will talk to Sebastian about it. But we are leaving now, although I should warn you. Once again, we might not survive." He picks you up again and basically throws you in the back seat. Then he moves to the driver seat and turns the key, looking at the pedals. "I don't even know which one is the brakes."

"Oh, no." You cover your face with your hands, but the car seems to be moving just fine. "Wait. What thing? And you haven't told me how you haven't… disappeared yet."

"You said you trusted me, right? Then don't ask, you don't want to know. We won't ever have to deal with it again, since we're going far, far away. Where do you want to go? Bucharest?"

"Anywhere, anywhere is fine. Vincent, please."

"I… I can stand it. For a while, at least. I told you there are people with rare powers. I can stand it. Can barely move in it, though, and it hurts. And it makes me powerless for a while. I can feel it burning. I just… don't."

You want to yell. You want to scream on his face. Why didn't he tell you? But you don't. Something in his voice… "Are you embarrassed of it?"

"Of course! It's a weakness, not a power! It doesn't do me any good. When I stepped into it and realized I wasn't burning, I wanted to laugh at first. Then it did start to burn. Smoke actually started to rise from me, and I changed my mind. I dragged myself back to the shadow until I could move. So I suppose if I stay in it long enough…"

You open your mouth then close it again, realizing what he just said. He walked into the sun, willingly. Thinking he would turn to dust.

You don't know what he sees when he looks at you through the rear view mirror, but his voice is soft. "It was a long time ago."

You can't stand being in the back seat anymore. "Pull over." He does so without a word, and your legs are well enough that you can open the back door and walk to the front. You sit beside him, a hard fit, but when he tries to go to the passenger seat, you don't let him. Then you hold him so tight he actually gasps a little. "It's okay." You breathe him in. "You're okay. Everything is okay."

He whispers something in your ear, and you revel in the elation it brings you. "Do you believe me now?"

You take a deep breath, and it takes you so long to exhale that you can't say how long you've been holding it. "Yeah. I love you too. So much you wouldn't believe it."

*

You don't know much about stars, but you can tell the hotel has five of them. The receptionist watches you approach the counter with visible disgust. Then Vincent does his thing, and you grab the keycard.

"There's a jacuzzi! I've always wanted to try it. Can you call room service?"

"Sure. What would you like as your last meal?"

*

It hurts much more than you thought it would, but you try not to squirm too much. You just hold his head in place, fingers splaying in his hair as he sucks the life out of you.

*

Both the pain and the hunger are unbelievable, and he gives you his arm to suck on, warning you it's not going to really ease the pain, only help you heal faster. You black out, and when you wake up, there's someone else in the room. A zombie? No, just a girl. She's holding your knife, and there's a gash in her wrist. "I won't let you get too much. You're not going to kill her." He brings the girl's arm to your mouth and you suck, you couldn't care less if she died, you just want to feed. It tastes good, so good. Delicious. More. More. More.

But he's pulling her away from you, and you whimper, trying to follow. But once again, you're restrained.

"Shh, it's okay. I brought more." You manage to look around, and there's another girl and two boys, all zombie-like in their expressions. You feel loved.

*

Vampires do go to the bathroom. But only number one.

*

"...They don't remember?"

"They remember what I want them to remember. Those two couples? Made a suicide pact all together, but regretted it last minute."

"I… I didn't even care if she lived or died. But I do. I do now. Is she okay?"

"They all are. And it's part of the initial hunger. Next time you'll be aware enough already."

*

You feel more vain than you ever did looking in the mirror. "Huh. I don't think I need makeup anymore."

*

You want to make it special, something you'll both always remember. An idea strikes you, and you drag him to the car. You take off your clothes, staying only in your underwear. "Much more space, no vomit, no sunlight."

The effect is almost immediate… you can see it in his pants. "I'm not sure if any of that would have been enough to stop me, to be honest."

"Ew." He's still watching you voraciously. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

He pounces.

Mouth on yours hungrier than ever before, claws making short work of what little you were wearing. Then he sits back on his seat and pulls you onto his lap. You kiss him just as he enters you, and you moan into his mouth, legs parting to get more of him. Then his teeth are on your neck and his nails all over you. You barely manage to pant your desires. "Harder… More…"

"Which?"

"...All of it."

He makes a feral noise that has you swooning. "Perfect is not nearly a good enough word to describe you."

You look at your arms and almost feel bad for bleeding all over the upholstery. Almost.

He speeds up, hands on your hips gripping so tight as he brings you down on him over and over that you're sure those marks will take longer to heal than the scratches. You die in his arms, the best death of your life, and he follows soon after.

When your breathing starts going back to normal, you kiss his neck and return to your seat so you can smoke, and when you look down at yourself, still panting a little, you can see the scratches have already started to heal. "Aw, man."

He chuckles. "Really? I won't feel bad for you next time, then."

"Oh? And when is next time?"

He's still smiling, gloriously naked and beautiful, and you wonder when was it that he took off his clothes. Then you see his pants are still around his ankles, and his shirt is on the floor of the car, buttons scattered all over. Your dead heart has never beaten harder. "Have mercy, I'm an old man. Give me at least five minutes."

Being a vampire fucks.

"That long? Maybe there's something I can do to help speed up the process." Cigarettes completely gone from your mind, in a moment you're between his legs, once again thankful for such a spacious car, and the gesture alone is enough to get a decent reaction out of him. You don't dawdle too much, or at all, taking him in your mouth as far as you can, almost choking, then going further and further, until he pulls you away.

"Okay, that did it."

You grin, returning to your seat. "Harder."

"...I haven't even started yet."

"Why not?"

Something snaps underneath you. You're pretty sure the poor car seat isn't supposed to recline that fast and without using the handle. Now the car's going to need both a wash and a mechanic.

He bites so hard, it's almost like he wants to turn you again. You moan your appreciation and try to move against him, not that the position helps much. You almost regret not settling for the bed. One of your feet ends up on the ceiling, while the other hits the horn.

"Oops. Do you think someone's gonna come?"

"You and me, hopefully."

You laugh and kiss him again.

*

"Let me try it, I think I can do it."

"Not with that attitude, you can't."

"What?"

"What? The movie we just saw last week? With the green old man? Do or do not, there is no try."

You grin. "Never in a million years did I ever think I'd hear you quoting Star Wars. Alright, I'll do it." You look the realtor in the eyes, focusing hard. Give me the key, all the documents are signed, everything is paid for.

Her eyes go out of focus for a moment, but then she just shakes her head with a frown. "What just-"

Vincent does it with a glance. She hands him the key and leaves.

"Showoff."

He kisses your head. "It's okay, you can try it on the car guy when we go pick it up. It just takes a little practice." The house isn't big, but there's a mantel in the living room, and you place the box with the pendant. It's a little crooked since you had to handle it with a piece of cloth, but it looks good. There's catnip in the garden, which you hope will bring many of your favorite creatures for a visit. There's also a place perfect for an orange tree. You hope it hasn't grown enough that it won't fit in the car. But by the time you decide to go pick it up, Grace tells you it's grown so much it would be dangerous to uproot it. She has a new sapling ready for you on your next visit.

*

Your hand still hurts where the sun touched it. Vincent chides you, but you had to know. You just had to know.

*

"I don't know, guys. It's not the same thing." Grace removes her sarong and spreads it over the sand so she can sit on it.

"Why, just because you can't tan? You can moonbathe, isn't it better? No burnt skin, no need for lotion."

She shrugs. "Moonbathing does make my spells stronger. Alright, where's the picnic basket?"

"Oh, I have it." Tony brings the picnic basket, a beach ball, snorkels, flippers and many other things you had no idea were in the car.

The picnic consists of jello blood cubes, blood popsicles, just plain old blood in a jug of juice and a watermelon. Which was Paul's idea.

"We can hit it with a baseball bat. I saw it in an anime."

"Why, Paul? Why?" Vincent rubs his face.

"For fun, you curmudgeon. Fun. Still know what that is?"

"Fine, but don't blame me if I accidentally hit your head instead." He doesn't, but the watermelon explodes with the first hit, so that's an activity that ends too quickly.

Later when everyone's too tired from playing and it's just the two of you by the fireplace, you can't hide a satisfied smile. It went great, and everybody seemed to have a good time.

"Why the beach, though?" he asks between kisses on your neck and ear.

"Well… it's been a year today. I wanted to celebrate, then I remembered something Grace said once, and I thought, why not, y'know? We're allowed to have fun at the beach or wherever the hell we please. To hell with the sun, who needs that stupid ball of fire."

There has been no news on Sebastian, whatever he's planning, if he is planning, none of you heard a thing. Besides, is it even your job to… what? Stop him? Keep him in line? Defeat him? You snort. If it comes down to it… when the time comes…

"I know what you are thinking." You eye him suspiciously. "No, I haven't secretly had telepathy this whole time, I just know you. And I really don't think you should worry all that much. He's a procrastinator. Whether he plans to gather an army to, I don't know, lead the 21st century vampire uprising against the world or he just wants to increase his harem size, it will take a while either way. And he'll end up doing neither."

"... Harem?"

"I used to be like him, in a way."

"Harem?"

"No!" He laughs and pushes you away, then immediately brings you back. "I looked for someone too, someone who would be by my side. Someone strong, someone… perfect." He takes your face in his hands. "But then you came along and threw a wrench right in the middle of that plan."

"Um… y'know, I think we should try to see if you would survive that decapitation after all." You put your hands around his neck, but the sensation of his pulse under your fingers and the expression in his eyes are enough to assuage you. "Asshole." You kiss his neck and look around. Your friends, something you've never had much of in your life. Grace bathing in the moonlight, even wearing sunglasses (moonglasses?), Paul apparently sleeping while Tony buries him up in the cold sand. Then your eyes return to him. Your lover. The person who hung the moon and the stars. You really couldn't ask for anything more. "I love it, you know? Love this life. Thank you for giving it to me."

He lies down on the sand and pulls you on top of him. "You know, I think that should be my line."

LeEnd

(some notes)

I should say that in my canon Cora can endure the sun because her transformation isn't complete, and to be honest I'm unsure if she defeated the 'curse' by the end or not. And her mother can kinda stand it? idk, her mom's probably a ghoul, who cares about her bleh

(Also they were in Europe all along?? Even though the campers in the film all seemed to be American?? What? Uh... tourists.) But yeah, I know it was filmed in California but it kinda gave me a European feel. Who cares, not important.

Also2 I know I set up some shit with Sebastian and his... thing, whatever that might be, but I don't think there will be a part 3. It's not impossible, but it's highly unlikely. Unless a muse comes and bites me right in the ass

This was all inspired by London After Midnight (the band not the film) and to me they're Vincent's band now. Either Spider and the Fly or Love You to Death could very well be his theme song. Actually no, scratch that. Their entire discography is his theme song 🧛

Part one and this are hands down the most absolutely self-indulgent thing I've ever written in my life. No joke. And there's barely any smut

Thanks for reading.

No, wait, there's more. Eh, just a couple of dialogues that I didn't end up using because things went a different way.

"Y'know, we should have a double date sometime now that we're officially dating and all."

He looks at you as if you've grown a third eye. "Officially? I thought that was settled since I kissed you the first time. Have I not been a proper boyfriend to you after that?"

Well, of course not! crosses your mind, but then you think about it, really think about it. Every word. Every action. Everything he said and did and you thought he wasn't serious. Yes, you realize your mistake. Your big, dumb mistake. Because he has. Ever since that day in the attic he's been so much… well, you wouldn't say nicer, or sweeter but… less of an asshole?

Really? This entire time?

You're about to speak, but then he continues. "We've been looking for a place to live. Together. As… roommates, then?"

"Oh no."

"Your face is really, really red."

You cover said face with both hands. "Shut up! Oh no. I'm so stupid. I'm so, so stupid."

"That's okay." He pulls your hands from your face so he can kiss you. "You can be stupid all you want, I love you regardless."

*

"You kissed my what?"

You can't bear to look at his face. "I don't wanna talk about it."

He ignores you. "Because, I seem to remember you calling me a creep, you, who stalked me for weeks, who watches me sleep…"

"How do you- I mean, uh…"

"And while I was sleeping, you said you kissed my what?"

"I don't want. To talk. About it. It was a slip of the tongue."

"Oh, I'll bet it was."

"Vincent…!"

"It's alright, I don't mind. The creep and the freak. I bet people will have a hard time figuring out who's who."

You can't even be mad at him for that. Because he doesn't even know the worst part.

Okay now it's really the end.

[punsmaster69]

14/NOV/20XX

paps is feeling much better, but it's probably for the best that he doesn't jump straight into his usual routine immediately.

undyne refuses to train with him until she's sure that he's completely healthy again.

he's pretty upset about that, but he's not letting the time go to waste.

paps and frisk are up there hanging out in his room.

they're doing a puzzle, i think.

said it would be,

"QUITE THE UNDERTAKING."

they've been planning this for a while, apparently.

——

those two've been up there a while.

haven't seen either of them in about three hours.

wasn't kidding about it being an undertaking.

...

maybe they're just really bad at that puzzle.

——

"knock, knock."

"...Why's he saying it out loud?"

"HE JUST DOES."

"IT'S SO THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE TO ���𝘊𝘛𝘜𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 KNOCK."

"...knock, knock."

"YOU CAN COME IN!"

sprawled out over the floor was probably a couple thousand puzzle pieces, a few piles of them, and about half of a picture.

"...wow."

"It's taking forever."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY IF IT'S BORING YOU, FRISK."

"Wouldn't still be here if I wasn't enjoying it. I'm in this for the long haul!"

"seems like a.. unique form of torture."

"SANS, WE USED TO DO THESE ALL THE TIME TOGETHER!"

"you did most of 'em."

"NOT TRUE! YOU HELPED."

"OH, WAIT! DID YOU COME IN HERE FOR SOMETHING?"

"just checkin' in. need anything?"

frisk looked between two identical pieces.

"A bigger brain..."

"WE'RE DOING ALRIGHT, I THINK."

"ok. good luck on your torture."

"IT'S NOT TORTURE!!"

——

"knock, knock."

"FRISK, CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE THAT PILE?"

"OKAY, YOU MAY ENTER NOW!"

"heya."

"brought some appy slices."

"APPLE SLICES ARE A SOPHISTICATED AND MATURE SNACK! DO NOT CALL THEM-"

"Thanks for the appy slices, Sans!"

"....THAT."

"seems like you got out-ruled. you gotta call 'em appy slices now."

"I WILL NOT."

"i take it you don't want any, then."

"WAIT! I DO!!"

"gotta use the right name."

he sighed.

"SANS, COULD I PLEASE JUST HAVE THE.."

"APPY"

"SLICES?"

"...THAT STUPID GRIN ON YOUR FACE IS EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO!!"

"it's just like when you were a babybones..."

"What? You took care of Papyrus as a baby? I knew you were older, but I figured it was by like, two years."

"nope. seven."

"Wait, that means..."

"...Papyus, you're-"

"DON'T SAY IT."

"he's old."

"AM NOT!"

"ancient. decrepit."

"NO!!"

"he's falling apart as we speak.."

"GET OUT!!!"

he took the plate of apple slices, pushed me to the door, and closed it behind me.

——

.....

they're still up there.

how they have the attention span to do that for so long is a mystery.

every time i bring water or snacks up, it's looked like they're getting closer and closer to being done, though.

——

the absolute pain radiating off of frisk and paps upon discovering there was one piece missing...

it was devastating.

......

turned out, the piece was just in the box.

anyway, the finished puzzle's neat.

it's a big townscape, with a bunch of tiny details and scenes and whatnot.

pretty cool.

pretty big, too. sorta taking up a lot of the floor.

but they don't wanna destroy it just yet, so they're just..

sitting around the finished product.

waiting for the sadness of packing it up to dissipate, i guess.

"you could just glue it together."

"THAT COMPLETELY RUINS THE POINT OF A PUZZLE!!"

"THE POINT IS THAT YOU HAVE TO PUT IT TOGETHER TO SEE THE IMAGE!"

"NOT JUST HAVE THE WHOLE THING."

"Sucks to get rid of it, though."

"....IT DOES.."

——

both sat and stared at it for a while.

frisk eventually made the first strike, tearing up a corner and shattering the pieces everywhere.

"Nothing lasts forever!! Puzzles be da-"

"Danged!!"

"..sure. whatever that means."

following suit, paps started ripping pieces off as well.

"NYEH!! THERE!"

"..Yeah, Nyeh!"

"NO, NO. PUT MORE FORCE BEHIND IT!"

"Nyeh!!"

"MORE!!"

"Nyeh!!!!"

"PUT YOUR ALL INTO IT!!!"

"NYEH!!!!!!!"

"PERFECT! YOU SOUNDED VERY COOL!!"

——

that puzzle apparently really tuckered paps out.

(although, maybe it's partly because he's just barely getting over his cold.)

didn't even have to read to him before he went right to sleep.

[fersauce47mediatalk]

About Doja Cat's "Scarlet" album

I’m ready to get this over with. I don’t dislike Doja Cat, but I’m tired of mentioning this in every other big post I make. I actually really enjoyed this album, but I feel like everyone would get tired of relistening to the same album over and over for a review. 

Doja Cat’s “Scarlet” is a good album. It was her most recent album, dropped on September 22, 2023. It has 17 songs and is 51 minutes long. Doja Cat has been rapping since 2013, and has made 4 albums so far. The longest track on this album is “Attention” at 4 minutes and 35 seconds. The shortest song on the album is “Ouchies” at 2 minutes and 2 seconds. 

I don’t plan on listening to her other albums anytime soon. That’s not because I dislike her, that’s because I don’t listen to much rap/hip hop. The people I usually hang around are all fans of that kind of music. They’re the kinds of people that are annoying with the kind of music they listen to and never shut up about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love forcing my music onto others and talking about it constantly, but I feel like fans of that genre take it way too seriously and are really closed minded to trying other kinds of music. I really should make a separate post about how much I dislike people who don’t try new things, especially music.

Although, I’m not sure if I have room to talk when it comes to rap/hip hop music. I’m saying rap/hip hop music because if I’m being completely honest, I don’t know the difference. I don’t know if there is a difference. I’m very sorry if saying that is insensitive, I’m just ignorant when it comes to the genre. 

I usually only listen to rap albums during the day with my homie Kenneth. I’ll give him an ear bud during 4th period and we’ll listen to an album since that’s the longest period. Seriously, it’s like 1.5 hours long. Ridiculous. Anyway, since he’s a mainstream fan we’ll listen to whatever rappers we feel like. Right now we’re going through Kendrick’s discography, 3 more albums to go. Maybe I’ll talk about some of them if they stand out to me. 

Back to Doja Cat’s Scarlet. When I first listened to it, I only listened to the first, like, 6-7 songs. I listened to that first half or so and I was like “Wow, this is great! Why do people hate on Doja Cat, this album is fire!” and then later I listened to the rest of it, and it was mid. I think I liked the first half more because it was less serious and more upbeat as far as beats go, and then it got serious and less lighthearted. Doja Cat stopped being silly, and started talking about more serious things that actually mean something. It’s not that I don’t like serious music, but I just personally prefer when people talk about things that don’t matter. That’s just me though, I’m picky with music that covers serious things. 

I do think that Doja cat is a talented lyricist. There were a few lyrics that I really did like, for example: “I ain’t got no skeletons in my luxury walk in.” I won’t dissect that, it’s just a good example of her being fun and being braggadocious. Is that a word…?

I won’t force you to listen to this album, especially if you dislike rap/hip hop. I will say that if you don’t listen to the whole album, at least listen to these 5 songs that are listed below. Or listen to the first 8. These are in no particular order. 

1- Paint the town red: It’s the most popular song on the album, and if you haven’t heard it already, you really should. It really captures her self confidence.

2- Demons: It subverts the style of the rest of the album in a creative way. I just think it’s neat.

3- Fuck the girls- Good flow, sounds very confident. Sounds like it could be a diss track, but I don't think it is. It’s not aggressive, but it is powerful, if that makes sense. 

4- Ouchies: This also subverts the style of the album. I prefer it over demons. 

5- Love life: Good flow, almost sounds like lofi. It has the same vibe as Let the party die by Kendrick Lamar IMO. 

In conclusion, you don’t have to listen to this album. If you like female rappers, I really think you should. I finally get to stop postponing this, yay! 

[whoslaurapalmer]

pinocchio (as annotated by lemony snicket) 🦗

-okay objectively the way they put the book together is gorgeous -- it's enormous with these fun blue black and white illustrations by mike mignola, and it feels like, a very grand and impressive fairytale experience, which I think is thoroughly charming and the way you SHOULD read fairytales, with this, sprawling expanse of art and text, in a book that doesn't NEED to be this big but also does, bc it's supposed to capture magic and excitement and a literary journey, especially like, in a child's hands

-only thing missing is one of those ribbon bookmarks........

-it has a slipcover too!!!!!!

-lemony's annotations are inserted as extra sheets of paper with typewritten and numbered notes at the beginning of each chapter that you can take out, and have pen marks and stains on some of them, and corresponding numbers written in pen within the text, which is all INCREDIBLY neat

-I have to say that I myself have about like 2% knowledge of what happens in pinocchio and it's been an absolute actual age since I saw the disney movie. this lead to some, uh, Thoughts of my own

-but since the idea behind lemony's notes is that he too is reading it for the first time, it felt as if I was in the room with lemony snicket and we were looking at each other with increasing incredulity and horror and concern (and decreasing hope)

geppetto and cherry: /TWO arguments that lead to violent physical altercations that end with friendship handshakes lemony: ????? me: ??????????????????

the narrator: what happened after this is an almost unbelievable story, but you may read it, dear children, in the chapters that follow. me: you know, that's a vibe.

pinocchio: if you're a kid you have to go to school and school sucks me: pinocchio you've been alive for a hot HOUR AND A HALF how do you know about school????????

the cricket: kids shouldn't run away from home, or be lazy! get a job pinocchio: wow shut up /angrily throws hammer the cricket: /dead, re: the hammer me: HOLD ON HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL????????? JIMINY BOY'S DEAD??????????? JUST LIKE THAT????????? lemony: this happens to people you get attached to. me: I'm. hello. what the hell.

the marionettes: omg look it's pinocchio!! lemony: I do not understand how the marionettes recognize pinocchio, who just a short time ago was a piece of wood in a cottage, and thus has had hardly any time or experience in the world. me: E X A C T L Y

ghost cricket: I am the ghost of the talking cricket me: HELLO????????????????? HE CAME BACK?????????

-AND THEN HE COMES BACK AGAIN -this should come as news to absolutely 100% no one not even me but i did in fact think 'goddamn disney did a fucking number on this.'

-i do find part of all this incredibly silly though bc danhan HAS been asked if 'lemony snicket' came somehow subconsciously from 'jiminy cricket' but he's always said no. and i do believe him.

-these adventures. are horrifying. like. no seriously, what the fuck

the narrator: I don't know what happened to lamp-wick lemony: WHY DON'T YOU me: BOLD WORDS, LEMON MAN???????????????

me, some chapters later, presented with a random donkey: oh, it's gonna be lamp-wick the narrator: it was lamp-wick! and then he died. me: wait, what lemony: /performs the written equivalent of a table flip

-lemony going 'i'm nothing but a puppet controlled by the mysteries of literature alone! humanity is nonexistent and impossible!' will, in fact, stick with me for some time, i must say

and then, i'm so sorry lemony i'm cackling

lemony: NOTHING IS REAL the narrator: and pinocchio becomes a real boy. lemony: n e v e r m i n d

-there are honestly some great little lemony gems --

"these paintings in geppetto's house are examples of 'trompe l'oeil,' a phrase which here means 'paintings of things you wish were here but aren't.'"

"I am so disturbed by pinocchio's feet turning to ashes that I fainted and missed this chapter." (however this turns into a running joke of lemony fainting at the mentions of bizarre danger every few chapters which did, wear on me after a while.)

"Anyone crying does not want to die. I write this weeping."

"'Disobedience' seems like a curious way to describe the activities of someone trying to find out what happened to their father, like referring to someone chased through the streets by a panther as a 'jaywalker.'"

"There has been so much trickery in this book that this question seems to me larger and more profound than it may seem at first glance. What is the joke? Pinocchio finds himself alone and in trouble once more, and as anyone who has found themselves alone and in trouble knows, life begins to feel like some long, cruel joke that, like so many jokes, is tricky to understand."

"NEAR a farmer's wagon doesn't seem like a good hiding place. Almost any other preposition would do: aboard, above, alongside, astride, behind, below, beneath, beside, inside, on, over, past, under, underneath, upon, with or within a farmer's wagon are all better plans to avoid being spotted."

"It is often the case that people work very hard making children and then seem very eager to get them to leave the house, as if it is the thrill of making children, rather than the responsibility of raising them, which most interests them."

after geppetto says "I should have thought of this before I made him. Now it's too late!" -- "This, sadly, is a common lament among people who make other people, and if you don't believe me, wait until the middle of the night, and wake up the people who made you and ask them if they have any regrets." me: /eyeing and then? and then? what else? which is still on the coffee table, thinking about the part where danhan's son wakes him up to look at the lighthouse

-still unsure just what to make of this --

-literally no other mention of her after that, except in that last note with the 'mysterious woman' comment -i mean, tempting to think of it as bea, and i certainly did when presented with the first one, but it also doesn't really fit with bea??? -but i have no idea who i would even say it is??? -i feel like we are once again in the position of, this is danhan, choosing to write something in lemony's tone just to have a good time, i guess -there's some references in his notes early on to absinthe and nightcaps too where i was like 'danhan, your, danhan is showing.'

-i have, Thoughts i am trying to parse out -i feel like his lemony voice has changed over time and well, change comes for us all -but also that he's definitely (poison for breakfast) used lemony to say things about himself that he just doesn't want to put his name on, for reasons known only to danhan -and after reading and then? and then? what else? i do see more pieces of danhan in lemony, like i said before re: poison for breakfast that lemony has a kindness that i didn't think i saw in danhan but after reading the memoir, no, i absolutely Do see it in danhan, a great deal, and he reveals this like, silly history of lemony's name AFTER coming up with it for the right-wing material and BEFORE using it on the books, so i see more of how danhan exists in lemony (-i did not expect to read and then? and then? what else and feel personally shot in the heart by lisa brown but that also happened. god i can't get over her saying 'well if lemony snicket is so lonely why doesn't he come join us and hang out?' at the goldfish ghost reading. like. pierced to the bone, lisa.) (-oh, and you know, the rumination on the word lunatic in and then? and then? vs the use of the word lunacy here) -but! lemony is still of course his own distinct character, with his own distinct personality and everything that exists apart from danhan, all the same -and i can approach this from a vibe of, even lemony has grown out of his grief, and it's not his grief necessarily that characterizes him nor would i not want him to, i mean we all know i roll post-canon lemony around in my head very often and wish him great joy -but i do feel like when danhan does something with lemony now it is Missing something of Lemony. -which i also feel rude saying. like fucking christ who am i to tell a man how to write his own character -but he didn't always do it like this either, like hero of the story and that murder alibi book whose name escapes me and i can't find at the moment but you know what i'm talking about. i've got screenshots somewhere -anyway they clearly exist as lemony pieces irrevocably linked to lemony the character, without any, idk interference from danhan himself, as danhan -but as we move through time i feel this less with more current lemony, and there's, yknow, a sadness in it -not that i went into PINOCCHIO OF ALL THINGS expecting any particular snicket content, bc i didn't, but you really never know with danhan -idk. the musical and all its potential perils and joys is looming somewhere in the future of us all as well, so, shrug emoji?????????? -i can't say i had a BAD time reading the annotations to pinocchio (reading pinocchio is a different matter), i enjoyed them, but i do feel like, there's just something Missing, is all i can say about it -and it's not that lemony's sadness is what makes him, there is so much that makes lemony, but i just see lemony Less, in a way -SHRUG EMOJI you couldn't pay me to actually use the shrug emoji. it's funnier to say shrug emoji. -so, anyway

-oh the art really was incredible. some of my favs --

-the book in its slipcover!

-oh and lemony's author picture is the most fascinating thing i have seen in some time --

[alolanroy]

2024 Watch Thread-Part 2

part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/alolanroy/739287467975458816/watch-thread-2024-pt-1

Resident Alien S1: Decent humor and it did a pretty good job of the small town with many interlocking sub-plots vibe. I wouldn't say that it is consistently laugh-out-loud, but you really never know when it'll floor you. I do kind of wish they toned down the attempts at serious drama, because this is a fish-out-of-water alien show, how serious can I take it? 5/10

Helldivers 2 at Launch: It scratches my multiplayer itch. Maybe the trick to making a successful live-service game was to...make it fun? The balancing is just teetering enough to be a blast. I didn't even mind the horrible queueing problems, nonfunctional matchmaking and level breaking bugs once I had half an hour of actual playtime. 8/10

Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger: I'll be honest, in the beginning I was worried we might drop it, but it won me over hard. And I mean maybe my second favorite sentai so far (Donbrothers will remain undefeated for all time). While simplistic, the writing manages to unfurl a web of history, personality and cultural identity. While the choice to film most of it on green screed made it look awful most of the time, the strong writing and acting pulled it through, especially in the later chapters where the reveals kept getting bigger and the characterization swings. Personal favorites are Kaguragi's backstory, which feels out of a proper prestige drama and the two-parter on earth. It saves up its budget and goes ham. 9/10

Forbidden Planet: While I find a lot of this movie repulsive for its 50's-ass gender politics, I choose to say 'wow, cool robot'. I see why Robbie is iconic and was disappointed by how little of him I got. Its tedious pacing makes me appreciate how Star Trek TOS distilled this formula into the blueprint for great TV. (Sidenote: I gotta figure out where this ancient alien megastructure vibe comes from. I feel like a lot of dwemmer related skyrim mods are repeating this without knowing it.) -4/10

Ice Station Zebra: Nice of them to start the plot in the second half after the intermission. For such a basic thriller, they seem to think this was a cinematic event with all of its intermission cards and posturing. Did they think the submarine set was worth half the runtime? I find its red-scare politics kind of pathetic and I've seen more complex thrillers air on Cartoon Network on weekdays. 3/10

Ultraman Geed the Movie: Connect! The Wishes!!: A team of scientists distilled tokusatsu summer movies into a thick paste and molded it into the shape of a tourism ad for Okinawa. The results made me cancel my plans to watch the ultraman movies and doubt if I actually like Geed. 1/10

Skyrim: Midwood Isle: Really impressive stuff here. A good variety of locations and a satisfying main quest. The reveal of a mirror map filled with locations and daedric realms really got me excited. The only downside is that some of the back and forth with the mainland got old and the LOTD patch didn't work. I'm a little surprised this doesn't get talked up more. 8/10

Dune Part II: Incredible watch. Gorgeous visuals and really strong performances all around. Great cinematography and violent sound design really made me FEEL the power (the lackluster theater speakers could barely handle it). I do feel a lot was lost in the cracks though and didn't hit as hard as the first, but boy am I glad I saw it. 8/10

The Mummy Demastered: This is a very good video game. An efficient love letter to metroidvanias (and boy I can see the metroid) with some neat ideas and that Wayforward polish. If you like these sorts of games, what are you doing here? Go play it! The paired-back scale means none of the ideas get old, and none of the backtracking is egregious. But my real favorite spin was the varied and interconnected environments that flowed so well together. 8/10

On a sidenote: this really feels like a mirror into another universe where the Dark Universe actually took off. In a way, it made me more excited for it than the actual movie. It made me wistfully muse about what might have been (committee driven slop movies)

Born to Fight (2004): This movie occupies the same part of my brain as RRR. I'll overlook almost any nationalism if resolves in an hour-long string of white-knuckle Olympic sport action. Genuinely some of the most insane stunts I've seen committed to film. My watch group was hooting and hollering! 8/10

Death Code Ninja: Sometimes Godfrey Ho's chop-shop ninja movies are an ironic good time. This is not one of those times. It couldn't hold any of our interests. -3/10

Blue Submarine No. 6: This owns. It was so continually visually interesting and the art so distinct I didn't even mind the early CG. Sure a few threads might have been underdeveloped, but I admire how much of a non-traditional ending it had. Conclusiveness doesn't have to come from nukes and resolution doesn't have to be on screen. Honestly, good on them for redirecting most of the strange sexual energy to the fish girl, though I don't know how to feel about her role in the end. 8/10

Ninja Knight: Thunder Fox: man this sucked. At least two white guys in ninja outfits killed each other with shotguns at the end. -2/10

Money Plane: Just because it could be a whole lot worse doesn't mean it couldn't have been a whole lot better. Try having your wrestlers have action sequences that let them fight good. -5/10

Chop Socky Chooks: Sometimes we put bad TV on the wheel to see what would happen. Apparently, these things are supposed to be chickens, but without any form of exposition or attempt to set the stage in the first episode, I can't really say. I don't know which is worse, the radiation of vague racism or how aggressively bad this is on 'TV you watched when you are home sick from school' standards. -2/10

Gridman Universe: It's hard to talk about gridman without going on a series of digressions about the purpose of fiction, growth and the Ultraman Fandom. Most of it I would describe as some cute fan service without much meat, and a plot that just kinda happens. But my cynicism melted away in the final act. Man, I love the passion in these designs. 7/10

Werewolf Santa: I felt nothing. 2/10

Undertale Yellow: Perhaps my standards for fangames have gotten a bit high, but I was a little disappointed. There are some good gags, don't get me wrong, but the overall energy kinda drags. I don't think it helps that the boss battles are more transparently endurance tests for the defense minigames. I never felt like I was talking them down, just that I was letting them monologue at me until they let me go. Maybe it pulls some zingers in the last half but I can't bring myself to care. 3/10

American Ultra: This might be Black Panther for stoners, but to me, it is just Max Landis's wish fulfillment. the half hour we stomached felt longer than some seasons of netflix. 3/10

Thankskilling 3: Possibly one of the biggest delights of the year. Extrapolating from Thankskilling 1, I was worried this would be the bad kind of self-aware. Instead, the watch party was floored by the tireless barrage of joyful camp. They cracked the code, just mixed up the bits enough so that another gets old and washed it over with cinematography good enough that it too becomes a joke. I'll give this the rare +/-8 for being legitimately great and entertainingly bad (intentionally)

Viking Seige: First of all I feel lied to. This poster is nonsense. There were no dragons or longboats. Instead, it is a single-set zombie 'thriller' that would have been alright under normal circumstances. Still, the overall momentum isn't really there and the quality of performances is uneven. 4/10

Los Campeones de Justicieros (1971): Luchadors, little people, mad scientists, and non-stop jazz. Especially non-stop jazz when it is least appropriate. -7/10

Spy Kids Armageddon: This isn't nostalgia for the originals speaking, this was just a legitimately inferior product. The design philosophy of making a movie with everything a kid could want but camp for the adults is absent. Netflix original tier. -4/10

Zone of the Enders Dolores, i: The first act had me nearly drop the show. The worldbuilding was sloppy and the character design and environments were totally incongruous with the sci-fi setting this was supposed to be selling. However, when it remembered it was supposed to be a space opera, the show became much more watchable. By the end I was surprised how attached I had become. 7/10. It would've been higher if the beginning wasn't so tough.

Zone of the Enders 2167 Idolo: The story that it has is good, but it sure is in a rush to have it over. What I find interesting is that in many ways this is one of the more complicated mecha designs that Sunrise animated towards the end of the cell era. It makes me a bit sad now knowing how much of a downgrade the early Digipaint sequel is from a visual standpoint. 7/10

Godzilla X Kong The New Empire: THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN! I initially recoiled at the possible return of the podcasting gang, but all returning characters benefit from a more solid group dynamic that avoids the cringe the series hadn't quite shaken. The monster madness is as camp as it comes, but I the cinematography made me feel like I was having a panic attack with all the rotating. 7/10

MacGyver: I bounced right off this. Maybe it gets better in later seasons, but the pilot and the first batch after that were cheesy in a bad way. I don't like Anderson's accent and the vibes are too cartoon-drug-psa-episode. It could barely hold my attention 4/10

Battle Beyond the Stars: Forgot to add this one. I've seen enough 7 samurai 'in space' but the cast was varied enough be counteract the dull male lead with the fun factor. 6/10

Outer Wilds: Few games out there are real originals. And I'm glad to have played as much as I did. I've given the writing major props for making this silly setting feel real and consistent. A personal highlight was landing on the sun cannon station first try without knowing what it was because of my raw uncut skill. However, I don't really feel like definitively scoring on this one since I paused playing it for about a year right before getting to the finishing sequence. I honestly had no idea how to pick things up again. It felt like I ruined it for myself and resorted to watching a playthrough of the end. I'd probably say maybe a 7-8? A few of the environments cross the bridge between exciting to traverse to dull and maze-y wandering.

Lensman (1984): Gorgeous, and occasionally kind of charming, but not enough to overcome the general malaise of the non-starter plot. The vague Heroes-Journey shaped plot doesn't bother to explain what a lensman is or what the titular lens does until the final moments. There wasn't really enough there to not make sense. It almost says something about how resistance can take many shapes, even insignificant ones, but I almost feel like it does so on accident. 5/10

[lilyevanstan1325]

🔥 Dangerous Game 🔥

Chapter 22

Amaya POV

Two years later

Damn!

Damn!

I have been locked in the bathroom of Natasha's room for almost fifteen minutes, finishing my make-up and dressing for the party that will take place tonight.

Today is December 31st.

Tonight we will say goodbye to the old year to welcome the new one.

And my year will end and start in the worst way.

I look at my reflection in the mirror.

I would like to cry, right now I would just like to cry.

Damn!

A few knocks on the door make me blow up full of fear.

“Amaya are you ready?We have less than half an hour to go before the party starts and Steve has already called me twice" Natasha chuckles from behind the closed door.

I try to compose myself, take a deep breath and open the door.

Nat's hand is in the air, surely she was ready to knock again.

“Wow honey!You are so hot!Bucky's jaw will drop” my friend squeaks happily.

This is now our sacred ritual.

Whenever an opportunity arises that requires a certain elegance, she and I lock ourselves in our room for hours to prepare and amaze our men.

I usually love this moment of ours but not today.

Not today.

I look at her with a hint of a short smile.

“Coming from you!Did you see yourself?Steve will fall for you all over again” I reply.

It's really spectacular Natasha tonight.

She is wearing a beautiful red silk mermaid dress, the fabric is smooth and shiny.

She has a sweetheart neckline and her dress slides sensually over her soft curves.

Her hair is pulled back into a neat bun and a light veil of makeup adorns her already beautiful face.

Natasha giggles and does a little twirl on herself, golden pumps with a vertiginous heel embellish her already perfect look.

"You say?" she murmurs looking at herself in the large mirror placed on the wall opposite the bed.

I roll my eyes.

“I will never understand if you are serious or not.You know very well that your husband would jump on you even if you were wearing a garbage bag” I tease her, making her laugh.

“I know Amaya!It's just that I don't often use this type of clothing, Steve is mostly used to seeing me in civilian clothes or with a work suite...I like to tease him with my feminine side" replies my friend, cleaning a small smear of lipstick on the corner of her lips.

I shake my head in amusement.

As if she wasn't fucking perfect even with t-shirt and sweetpants.

Natasha turns to me.

"I used to say that this dress would be enchanting for you" she tells me, approaching me and arranging the braid that rests delicately on my shoulder.

Natasha smiles at me and I lose myself looking at my reflection in the mirror.

I am wearing a long black dress, the sleeves and the bodice are in lace with a deep V-neck.

A long satin skirt extends from my waist with a slit that goes up to my mid-thigh.

At feet I wear black satin pumps with a stiletto heel.

I look carefully trying to understand if anyone could notice it.

I observe every inch of my body hoping that nothing has changed yet.

I feel the panic assault me and a light veil of sweat beading my forehead.

Natasha's gaze observes me curiously.

"Is everything okay Amaya?" she asks me scrutinizing me with her immense green eyes.

I try to escape the little X-ray exam and pretending to laugh at her amusedly I turn her back and head back to the bathroom.

With a firm step I cross the threshold of the bathroom and grab a small towel to dab the sweat that gradually increases on my forehead.

I have to stop, I have to try to calm down.

"What are you hiding?" whispers Natasha's voice behind me.

And for the second time in ten minutes, my heart skips in my throat.

“Jeez Nat!I didn't hear you coming.You scared the shit out of me” I stammer placing a hand on my chest and trying to bring my accelerated breathing back to a normal pace.

Natasha behind me folds her arms over her chest and we both look at each other through the reflection in the mirror.

Her eyes don't let me go.

I feel trapped, with no way out.

“Don't be paranoid Romanoff.What the hell could I hide from you?" I ask turning to her with a tight smile on my lips.

“Do you know Snow?You may not realize it but when you try to cut me off like this you hurt me” she murmurs coming out of the bathroom and leaving me alone with my feelings of guilt.

I close my eyes by bowing my head forward.

Damn!

All of this is not going to end well.

I leave the bathroom with an uncertain step and find Natasha sitting on her bed as she tries to hook the pearl necklace around her neck.

"I'll help you" I whisper, approaching and sitting next to her.

We look at each other for a few minutes, eye to eye.

Green against green.

Then, sighing, she hands me her necklace and turns.

I bring my hands close to her slender and graceful neck and with quick and confident gestures I adjust her necklace.

"It's not that I want to know all your secrets but at least I wish you didn't lie to me" Natasha sighs.

I sigh too, looking down at my hands that are tirelessly torturing the delicate fabric of my dress.

Natasha is my best friend, I've always told her everything.

She always manages to make me see my problems from a different perspective, she always manages to make me think clearly.

Maybe I should just stop lying to her and at least confide in her.

I gather all the courage I have and force myself to speak.

"Do you remember when I was sick a few weeks ago?"

Natasha laughs softly.

"When did you throw up on my favorite hoodie?" she teases me by giving me a playful shoulder.

Despite the anxiety that grips my guts in a painful grip, a little laugh leaves my lips.

"I thought I apologized enough for that" I chuckled followed by Nat who immediately adds "Yes I remember.What happens?"

I remain silent not knowing where to start with the words.

"Do you also remember that in the end I stretched so badly that it took me the antibiotic to be able to heal?"

Nat's gaze gradually becomes more and more confused.

"Yeah...but what does this have to do with it?" my friend asks.

“I think I'm pregnant Natasha.I believe that the antibiotic interfered with the effectiveness of my birth control pill by canceling its effectiveness" I admit in one breath.

I look down unable to hold the look of astonishment in the eyes of the former Russian spy.

Silence reigns supreme for a few minutes, minutes that in my head turn into hours.

"Are you sure?" Nat asks me in a whisper.

I look up from my lap and bring back my gaze to my best friend's face.

“I have a very regular cycle.Every twenty-eight days, punctual as a Swiss watch.Right now I'm almost three weeks late” I murmur with my heart racing furiously in my chest.

This pregnancy is not what I wanted.

But that's not scares me either.

What scares me more than anything else is Bucky's possible reaction.

He will want this baby.

Even though he has put aside his desire to have a family only for me I know very well that this urgent desire of his is always there.

Ready to jump out.

How can I look him in the eye as I tell him that he will be the father of a child who will never look into this life?

Natasha touches my shoulder, rousing me from my thoughts.

"Sorry Nat, were you saying?" I ask, blinking frantically to blink back the tears of pain that impetuously demand to be released.

"I said have you already taken a pregnancy test?"

I shake my head in response.

"I bought one last week but I haven't had the courage to do it yet" I add in a shaky voice.

I don't know with what courage I bought the test but that courage failed when I thought about doing it.

And in fact the test lies hidden inside a wardrobe drawer.

"I don't know what to do Nat" I sigh shakily.

"You...what would you do?" I ask her.

Natasha looks at me with a strange expression.

“I'm not the right person to ask Amaya.I think each of us wants what we can't have…my answer is very different from your will” Nat replies with a hint of a guilty smile on her lips.

I get up with a wave of disgust.

I feel ungrateful to life but what can I do if this is not what I want for me?

Natasha seems to understand what direction my thoughts are taking and she immediately gets up and joins me in a couple of strides.

She grabs me by the wrist making me turn towards her.

“It's not your fault Amaya.You and only you have the right to choose what you want to do"

"But you..."

Natasha interrupts me immediately.

"What I desire cannot and must not influence your decision"

Her gaze softens.

“No matter what you decide Amaya, I will always be by your side.Always”

We embrace with momentum, her arms hold me against her body giving me all the warmth and comfort I need.

We break away from our embrace and Natasha gently moves a lock of hair from my face, bringing it behind my ear.

"I've already chosen" I admit with fear.

Natasha nods.

“I know honey, I know” she murmurs as she closes her hands around my face.

I lift my hands and place them gently on hers.

“I'm just afraid of how Bucky might react.This whole thing could wreck our love story.I'm so scared Nat” I whimper softly.

A beautiful smile is painted on Natasha's red lips.

"Bucky loves you and I'm sure he will respect your choice" she replies as she strokes my cheeks with the tips of her thumbs.

"I hope so" I admit.

I feel my head explode and I have no idea how this is all going to turn out.

I close my eyes in a wave of desperation.

I don't want to go to a party right now, I just want to put on some warm pajamas and sink my head on my handsome sergeant's broad and muscular chest.

Natasha seems to read my mind.

“Do you want me to make up an excuse for tonight?Maybe you can say that you have had a relapse of the flu"

I shake my head, smiling at her concern.

“No, it's not needed.It's the last day of the year and we have to celebrate" I reply.

She watches me carefully ready to catch every nuance in my gaze.

“I'm fine Nat, really!Come on, let's go to the party” I tell her, smiling sweetly and grabbing her hand.

Together we leave her room and slowly move towards the large hall that will host the annual New Year's Eve party of the famous Tony Stark.

As soon as we step into the great room, the music and the laughter of the guests overwhelm us.

With my eyes I scan the entire room in search of a person.

And after a few moments I find it.

And there he is, my Bucky.

He is chatting with Doctor Banner.

His eyes blue like a sunset sky, immediately find me in the crowd, as if he had sensed my presence.

He smiles at me and apologizing to Bruce he approaches me making his way through the crowd.

He approaches with a sure-footed step and his hands in his pockets, his beauty is intoxicating.

Natasha next to me greets me telling me that she would join Steve.

I nod without taking my eyes off the man who literally stole my heart and turned my life upside down.

Yet I'm about to break his heart once and for all.

Bucky joins me and with a big smile wraps my waist with his arm in Vibranium and squeezes me against his warm body.

“Oh my God doll!You're fucking gorgeous” he whispers to me in a hoarse voice and then forcefully descends on my lips.

He kisses me so passionately that I dizzy.

We walk away from our respective lips with a beaming smile.

"Not even you are so bad sergeant" I whisper, blinking sensually.

He moves away from me and spinning on himself he show me how much he is sexy.

Even if he wears a simple black tuxedo with a white shirt and a black tie, he is the apotheosis of perfection.

"Really?I took the first rag I found in the closet" he says with mock nonchalance, making me laugh heartily.

"Yeah, right" I murmur, rolling my eyes.

"Would you like a drink?" Bucky asks me with extreme simplicity.

The question destabilizes me.

I could drink but something inside me is holding me back.

My heart skips a beat at this strange feeling.

Bucky is looking around and luckily he hasn't noticed this inner torment of mine.

When his beautiful eyes come back to my face they find the same smile I had a little while ago.

"Not yet.Let's go say hello to Sam” I smile at him, grabbing him by the hand and dragging him into the crowd of people to be able to reach Sam and the others.

The evening goes on happily, for a few hours I can put all my worries aside and I fully enjoy the evening.

I divide myself between dances with my friends and lots of laughs.

“Ok guys!Even though it's not midnight yet, I want to have a toast with you all” exclaims Tony.

Without realizing it, we Avengers found ourselvesin a corner, away from the chaos of the party.

There is me, Bucky, Natasha, Steve, Sam, Bruce and Tony.

Stark leaves for only a few moments and then returns with a bottle of finest champagne in his hand.

Champagne which I'm sure will cost the same as my salary for at least two months.

The landlord hands us a glass to each one and fills it to the brim.

The mere sight of the bubbly teases my taste buds but I don't think I'll drink it in the end.

Damn me!

“I want to wish each of you what your heart desires.I love you guys, I really love you” Tony says with shining eyes turning to each of us.

My eyes get wet.

"You managed to make Snow cry" Sam chuckles, calling Tony back with an elbow.

They both giggle like two morons.

"I hate you" I murmur and then smile.

They both know it's not true.

We all raise our glasses in the air making them tinkle with each other.

"To us!" we all exclaim in unison.

I bring the glass to my lips, just wetting the tip of my tongue, pretending to drink.

Natasha notices my discomfort and with a stealthy but elegant move she approaches to hug me and to exchange our glasses, so that I find her empty glass in my hands and not attract too much attention.

"Thanks darling" I whisper in her ear.

She walks away winking at me, enjoying the excellent champagne.

The others resume chatting while my thoughts drift away carried by a whirlwind of completely contrasting emotions.

I feel trapped, at the mercy of a gloomy despair.

For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do.

I don't know how to behave.I have always had full control of my emotions and now I am choking on them, unable to react.

"Do you want to dance with me?"

Bucky's voice whispers in my ear giving me goosebumps.

“You danced with everyone tonight.With Tony, with Steve, with Sam…even with Maria Hill but you haven't given me even a single dance yet” he adds, standing behind me and sliding his big hands up and down my arms.

My stomach tightens in a grip of pure pleasure, a pleasant warmth expands until it reaches the center of my being.

Bucky brings his lips to my neck leaving a small bite right in the curve of it making me wince a little.

"If you ask me like this I can't refuse" I whisper turning towards him.

Bucky looks at me intently making me tremble all over.

He gently grabs my hand and intertwining our fingers drags me towards the small dance floor, among the other couples who dance happily.

Once in the center of the dancefloor Bucky wraps my waist with his arm in Vibranium placing his hand right on the curve of my ass, I place my right hand on his chest.

Right above his heart.

Our free hands are intertwined with each other.

We swing slowly to the rhythm of the sweet notes that expand in the air.

"Do you remember when was the last time we danced together?" Bucky asks me in a whisper.

A corner of my lips curves upwards.

“Oh…how could I ever forget that.It was Steve's birthday.A mess happened that night” I giggle thinking about when Sharon finds us togheter.

“I will never forget that evening.You told me for the first time that you love me” I add with a stupid smile on my face.

"And you told me" Bucky replies as he looks at me with a sweet smile.

Suddenly I feel all the gravity of the situation suffocating me.

I am about to break the heart of the man I love and in all probability it will be the beginning of the end of our great love.

My eyes fill with tears and to keep Bucky from asking questions I rest my head on his chest, escaping his eyes.

I have to give myself a moment to calm down.

Then without knowing why, the words Bucky said to me just before arresting Rumlow come back to mind.

"Whatever happens, you have to know that I love you.And I will always do"

Today I finally understand the meaning of those words.

He knew, he had discovered he was my parents' killer.

And he knew that things between us would crash inexorably.

"Bucky?" I call him raising my head from his chest.

He looks at me with such intense love that it is painful.

I can't keep lying to him.

He must know.

"Whatever happens, you have to know that I love you.And I will always do”

Bucky's confused gaze watches me closely.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asks me slightly restless.

I walk away from him by interrupting our dance.

"I have to talk to you" I murmur with a breath of voice.

“It is close to midnight.Can't what you have to tell me wait?" he asks me.

I nod my head unable to speak.

"Ok" he replies hesitantly grabbing my hand and dragging me away from the party.

We find ourselves in an immense deserted hallway.

"Can we go up to our room?" I ask, keeping my eyes down.

I absolutely don't want anyone to hear or interrupt us.

"Amaya you're scaring me, you know?"

I continue to keep my eyes down and turning my back on him I head towards the elevator, his heavy footsteps behind me follow me.

Arriving in front of the door of our room, he is the first to enter and then hold the door open and let me in.

I pass him still unable to look him in the eye.

I have no idea how to tell him.

I feel my legs shaking so I head directly to our bed and sit on the edge of it.

Bucky closes the door.

Alpine is in his little basket and raises his little head just for a moment after which he goes back to sleep.

I observe my hands resting on my thighs, they tremble and my palms are sweaty.

Bucky's shoes appear in my field of vision.

I finally lift my gaze and meet his worried face.

“What's going on my little robin?Whatever it is we will face it together” he whispers to me as he kneels in front of me and grabs my hands.

"I'm pregnant"

Bucky POV

"I am pregnant"

I am pregnant.

Three simple words that screw up my brain.

Those three words whirl furiously in my head but I can't make sense of them.

"What...what did you say?" I stammer in shock.

Maybe I just misunderstood.

I certainly misunderstood.

"I'm pregnant Bucky" she repeats as if she were an automaton.

No emotion is imprinted on her face.

I know what this means.

It means my greatest fear has come true.

"How could that happen?" I ask, letting go of her hands and standing up.

Amaya looked up until she met my eyes.

"Yeah...you know...you take the pill"

In my brain a thousand thoughts overlap furiously one on top of the other like crazy grasshoppers.

"The antibiotic I took when I was sick interfered with the effectiveness of my birth control pill.Obviously, I only discovered this later" she explains to me with a truly annoying calm.

I run my hands through my hair releasing a shaking sigh.

I take a few steps towards the large window and then return to her.

"How are you feel?" I ask not knowing what else to do or say.

After all, she has already decided.

I have no use in any of this.

I am furious and sad at the same time.

Amaya shrugs at my question.

“Physically I'm fine.Mentally…” she murmurs leaving her sentence incomplete.

We both remain silent, each lost in our thoughts.

"Please tell something James?" Amaya begs me.

Her tone appears more desperate than her expression lets it through.

“What do you want to tell you Amaya.I can't say anything.My opinion doesn't matter” I sadly admit.

In this matter, the only thing that really matters is what Amaya wants.

I just want her to be happy and if that means I have to support her decision, I will.

Even if it hurts me to death.

“How it doesn't matter?You are my boyfriend”

I can't help but a bitter laugh escapes my lips.

Amaya stiffens.

“Amaya you have said more than once that you don't want children.You have already decided to have an abortion, I can't help but I can stay close to you" I reply trying to make her understand that I am willing to accept her decision.

Amaya gets up moving nervously.

"I don't want you to hate me for this" she spits between her teeth leaving me speechless.

“Amaya I could never hate you for that.Are you crazy?I love you and I just want your serenity" I answer trying to make her think.

"But you want this baby!" she yells at me.

Her is not a question.

“What would it change?I will never ask you to keep it, nor will I oblige you.I will not make you hate me for the rest of your life" I answer screaming in turn.

We both stare at each other, our chests rise and fall furiously.

I try to calm down by taking a deep breath and then I approach Amaya grabbing her by the shoulders.

Her eyes are filled with tears.

“Amaya…”

“I can't Bucky.I can't have this baby”

Her words are a knife planted in my heart.

"I know doll" I whisper to her feeling an annoying lump in my throat that chokes my words.

"I know" I repeat, moving my hands from her shoulders to wrap them around her face.

“Listen to me my love.I love you, I love you more than anything in the world and I don't want this baby.I don't want this baby at the expense of your happiness.I want you, I want you happy.It is enough for me to live by your side knowing that you love me” I whisper to her and then kiss her softly.

“I would like to give you what you want but I can't.I can't do it.I'll never be a good mother” she whimpers as her little hands cling to my chest tightening around the delicate fabric of my shirt.

I shake my head.

“You don't have to apologize for anything Amaya.I'll always be at your side” I tell her hugging her tight against my chest.

I swallow hard thinking that I was one step away from being a father.

It's a bittersweet thought.

A firework explodes in the New York sky, right in front of our window.

A new year has just begun and a small part of me has just fallen apart.

This is one of those pains that will never go away.

Outside this room, outside this building, millions of people are celebrating.

Lovers who exchange sweet promises, people who make wishes.

And we are here instead to wallow in pain.

The fireworks continue to light up the room reminding me again and again that a new year has just begun and I have to move on.

“Happy New Year robin” I whisper from her with my lips in her scented hair trying to push the pain out of my mind.

“Happy New Year” she murmurs against my chest.

We remain embraced in silence, the only sound comes from the fireworks that light up the New York sky.

I lift Amaya and gently place her on the bed, grab a blanket and lie down next to her I place the blanket on our bodies.

I settle down better by letting rest her head on my chest.

"Try to sleep now.We'll think about everything tomorrow” I whisper, kissing her forehead.

Amaya nods against my chest without speaking.

"I love you James" she whispers after a few minutes of silence.

"I love you too" I reply.

I close my eyes trying not to think about the fact that our baby is growing in her womb right now.

My baby.

The baby I've always wanted.

A tear slips from my closed eyes, immediately followed by another and another.

I can't stop so I try to make as little noise as possible hoping that Amaya won't notice it but a small, almost imperceptible, sob betrays me.

Amaya immediately raises her head from my chest and puts a hand on my cheek, a hand that wet with my tears.

I remain with my eyes closed, at this moment I don't feel able to even look into her eyes.

"I'm sorry" Amaya sobs back to rest her head on my chest, pressing herself tightly against my body.

I feel her tears soaking my shirt.

"It's not your fault" I reply.

I'm not angry with her, I never could.

I just feel sad for what I can never have.

"Everything will be fine Amaya" I repeat again in a low voice while together we wait for the doctor to be ready to receive us.

We are at Parkmed NYC, one of the best health centers and the best abortion clinic in the entire country.

We are in a welcoming waiting room and all the staff are extremely polite and attentive.

In addition to the two of us, there is a little girl with the one who I assume is her mother.

The girl keeps her head down while she continues to sob softly, her mother has shining eyes but she shows no other emotion.

I watch the girl take a deep breath and pull the sleeve of her mother's jacket.

The woman turns to her daughter and observes her with a gaze mixed between pain and disappointment.

"Please mom...Justin and I..."

"Enough Clary!" her mother interrupts her abruptly, then lowers her voice.

"We have already talked about it.You are only fifteen.You can't keep the baby!" she tells her.

The girl sinks even further into the chair and bursts into desperate tears, hiding her face in her hands.

Her mother wipes her eyes as she stares back in front of her.

She too seems to be wracked with grief.

I return my attention to Amaya who is observing the scene with an impassive gaze.

The same look that has been in her eyes for two weeks now.

They have been hard days and I have done everything in my power to reassure her and be close to her.

I put my feelings to the side and totally focused on her needs.

A nurse looks out of a door on my right.

"Mrs. Morgan?" she calls kindly.

The woman in front of me gets up and walks towards the nurse, her daughter follows her with her head down without ever stopping sobbing.

It is truly a heartbreaking scene.

Amaya beside me swears under her breath.

"What happens?" I ask apprehensively.

“My phone is dead.Could you give me yours?I promised Nat to send a message”

I grab the phone from my pants pocket and hand it to her.

"Sure.Go ahead”

Amaya grabs the phone and starts typing a message.

My gaze returns to the door from which that little girl has disappeared.

I can't help but think of her desperate need to have her baby.

"Why did you write to Doctor Mason?"

Amaya's voice brings me back to reality.

Fuck!

She shouldn't have found out.

I try to come up with a plausible excuse.

“It's an old message, don't give it any importance” I answer her taking the phone she is handing me.

“Bucky I'm not stupid.There is yesterday's date.Why did you write to our therapist without telling me anything?"

I sigh aware of what will follow from my response.

“Amaya everyone approaches problems in own way.I am aware of my limitations so I know I need help with all of this” I answer her, indicating the room with a wave of my hand.

"Do you need help to be able to forgive me or not to hate me?" she asks me piqued crossing her arms to her chest.

I shake my head, smiling bitterly.

“Don't play the victim Amaya.I'm just trying to deal with it as an adult.I don't hate you and I never will.Don't be ridiculous and don't take your frustration out on me”

Amaya's gaze sharpens dangerously.

“I am the victim Bucky.I didn't want this baby and yet I find myself here”

I look at her in shock.

I stand up towering over her.

“What the hell does this mean?I didn't get you pregnant on purpose! Jesus Christ!" I hiss between my teeth running a hand through my hair.

Her hard gaze remains fixed on me.

"Why can't you just appreciate my desire to get over this and move on?" I ask, feeling disheartened.

Amaya seems about to answer but the same door as before reopens and another nurse looks out of it.

"Miss Snow?" she calls.

Amaya gets up and I follow her.

We both walk behind the nurse who, after walking down a long hallway, stops in front of a large door.

"Doctor Miller is waiting for you" the nurse smiles at us.

Her nameplate says her name is Josephine.

We thank her and take a seat in the study.

In front of me opens a large room full of windows that overlook a courtyard full of large trees.

A huge and shiny mahogany desk is located right in front of the door and behind it sits Doctor Miller who gets up as soon as she sees us enter.

“Welcome Miss Snow.Mister Barnes” she greets us holding out her hand.

After the classic pleasantries we sit down and the doctor turns to Amaya.

"Ok.Amaya Snow, thirty-one, last period on November thirteenth.Exactly?"

Amaya nods.

"According to the information you provided at admission a few days ago, you declare that you were taking the birth control pill but took an antibiotic that canceled its effect.You should now be nine weeks.Have you done any samples or test to make sure that there is really a pregnancy in progress?" asks the doctor very professionally.

"No.I bought a pregnancy test but I didn't have the courage to do it” Amaya admits to my surprise.

I had no idea she bought a test.

"Don't worry.Now we will do an ultrasound and then you will move to the room to get ready"

Amaya looks at the doctor and hesitantly asks her "How...how will it happen?"

The doctor smiles at her reassuringly.

“The aspiration procedure involves insertion of a tube into the cervical opening.Through aspiration, the contents of the uterus are effectively removed.This method is safe and trusted by doctors to be an effective means of abortion with minimal risk or pain to patients.We offer the unique opportunity to have the aspiration abortion procedure under local anesthesia and, when the patient wishes, under sedation or general anesthesia.Everything will last between 10 and 20 minutes and then we will keep you under observation for a couple of hours just as a precaution.I hope I have been exhaustive but if you have any doubts, do not hesitate to ask" concludes the doctor, then inviting Amaya to follow her and position herself on the gynecology bed in the corner of the room.

Amaya hides behind a booth and gets ready.

Once she is ready she lies down on the bed and the doctor invite me to approach.

I get up too and go to Amaya's side, her hand immediately goes in search of mine and when she finds it she squeezes it hard.

I reciprocate her hold by sending her all my love.

Doctor Miller prepares the ultrasound and places it on Amaya's belly.

She moves it for a few minutes while remaining silent.

"So...from the measurements, the gestational age seems to coincide.The fetus is nine weeks.Here you can see his head and arms”

The doctor points to a point on the screen and I am literally fascinated.

That's our baby.

My baby.

I feel Amaya's eyes on me but I don't turn in her direction.

I am too afraid of my emotions which are more than evident on my face right now.

I am here to support her and not to fall in love with someone I will never know.

"And here is his heart" continues the doctor and after a few moments the room is filled with the strong and constant sound of a small heart.

"That's enough" Amaya exclaims.

Then she brings her and turns her gaze to the doctor.

“Please stop” Amaya repeats in a tormented voice.

The doctor seems to understand and as her gaze bounces between me and Amaya murmurs sincere apologies.

Amaya wipes the gel off her belly and I remain beside her in silence while the doctor approaches her desk and murmurs something over the intercom.

After a few minutes the office door opens and the nurse Josephine enters pushing a wheelchair.

“Amaya, take a seat.Josephine will prepare you for the procedure.Mister Barnes I have to ask you to sit in the waiting room and wait there"

I nod quickly and then turn to Amaya who is already sitting in the wheelchair.

I kneel at her feet.

“I love you doll.I'll be there waiting for you”

Amaya's eyes look sad.

“I'm sorry.I'm sorry for everything” she murmurs so softly that I can hardly hear her.

I kiss her forehead.

"Everything is fine.See you soon doll” I reply.

She leans towards me and kisses me.

"I love you James"

"I love you too"

And so I go back to that waiting room waiting for time to pass quickly.

My phone rings as soon as I sit down.

It's Natasha.

"Hey Nat" I reply with a dull voice.

“Amaya is inside.It will all be over soon” I murmur without even giving her time to ask.

I feel tears fill my eyes.

“I'm sorry Barnes” my friend replies softly.

"I know.I'm sorry too”

I clear my throat.

"Call me as soon as you are out, ok?"

“Ok Romanoff.See you later” I reply hanging up.

I lean my head against the wall behind me closing my eyes and hoping that time will pass quickly.

I just want to have back my beautiful robin next to me.

We have been through a lot together and together we will overcome this too.

Because we love each other.

When I hear someone calling my name I immediately open my eyes.

It seems like an eternity has passed but looking at the clock hanging on the wall I realize that just half an hour has passed.

Doctor Miller is standing in front of me.

"Everything went fine?" I ask feeling apprehensive about my girlfriend.

The doctor nods and smiles at me.

“Come with me, I'll take you to her.I really think she needs you now” the doctor replies kindly.

She turns and I quickly get up to follow her.

I go back down the same hallway as before but instead of stopping where her studio is, we continue turning to the right.

The doctor stops and opens a door.

"Come in" she tells me and then leaves.

I enter the room and in front of me there is a simple bed.

Amaya is sitting on it and she appears to be lost in her thoughts as she gazes at the landscape outside the window.

She is so distracted that she doesn't even notice my arrival.

I clear my throat trying to get her attention.

She quickly turns her head to me and the first thing I notice is that she is crying.

Her eyes are as red as the tip of her nose.

And it is enough for me to look at her for a single moment that all my fear, all my pain disappear instantly.

I see only her, the love of my life who is suffering.

"Oh my little robin" I whisper approaching her and hugging her tightly in my arms.

"Bucky I ..."

"Shhh doll" I hush her softly.

I grab her face in my hands and with my fingertips I wipe away her tears.

My heart aches to see her so defenseless.

I kiss her forehead.

“I'll take care of you.Forever” I tell her trying to impress all my love in my words.

I am sure that after the storm the sun will return to shine on our lives.

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