#wow do i ever crave that kind of simple soft happiness and intimacy

[cozydnp-archive]

oof

[madlymiho]

We're celebrating a special day today, the birthday of one of the greatest person I have ever met! @all-blue-headcanons, my lovely friend, I have a special something for you!

I don't have enough words to tell you how important you are in my life, because for months now, you have been nothing but a fantastic friend, even when things were tough and complicated in our respective lives. You're probably the strongest person I know, and I just have the deepest respect for your incredible nature, and that big golden heart of yours! Because yes, my sweet Blue, you truly have one and you deserve all the best things in the world! Happy birthday, my darling 💖

Mhmh!!! Since you have already made such a fantastic alphabet for the incredible Crocodile, I've decided to honor another of your favorite character, this lovely ginger-head man who truly deserves more of the spotlights too 😋

X-Drake NSFW Alphabet : ALL THE LETTERS

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Drake is particularly attentive when it comes to the end of your sexy moment. He’s often very sensitive to your needs, and will do everything to make you feel comfortable. As soon as he breaks the shell around his natural shyness, Drake is someone rather careful and kind. He might doesn’t know what you want, so be prepared to get a lot of questions in your first times, until he properly analyzes how you work and what do you prefer. Water, blankets, food, towel, books, perhaps a bath? He really doesn’t mind to leave the bed to get you something. 

But what Drake prefers are the cuddles after your intercourse. He’s still in a pretty sexy mood for a while, and he definitely craves to feel your body. He loves to see both of your bodies almost flushed together, even if you’re all dirty, and the natural warmness of your skin is something which somehow reassure him a lot, and most of the time, your aftercare moments are always about his big arms rolled around your waist and his mouth hidden in the crook of your neck.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Drake is pretty proud of his chest. He loves to see the look you give him whenever he walks bare chest - which is always - and he often smirks and blushes, knowing perfectly that you are sensitive to his charm. After all, there’s something animal, almost primal within him, and you crave to feel the softness of his torso under your touch, whenever you start to get kinky in your shared bedroom. 

However, when it comes to you, Drake is a little bit of a perv, and he can’t control himself. He loves everything about your beauty, yes that’s a fact, but when you walk in front of him, he only looks at your rear, and already imagines the many things he could do to it. He also has a certain interested in your breasts, and definitely, you can feel his hungry stare when you’re wearing a something with a revealing cleavage.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Oohhh Drake tastes really good. Even if he likes to have his booze from time to time, it’s not an usual habit because of his father. He tends to be really careful to what can give him addiction, so he’s not a drunkard and it’s perhaps for the best. His alimentation is very correct for a pirate, and he doesn’t mind eating veggies, fishes, meats and all good dishes for his body. He takes care of himself since he’s still young  but also mature, and doesn’t really appreciate to overeat during fests. He’s content with many ailments, which gives him a very creamy cum, but not so bitter and pretty nice to swallow. 

But oh, dear. When it comes to the bedroom, Drake’s inner instincts are quite wild and it might surprise you at first. He’s a bit messy in the sheets, and frankly obsessed with the idea to have this strange power to ravage you, so most of the time, when he’s really in a very intense session, he begs you to cum on your breasts or just at your entrance, so he can see the drops of his seed dripping along your thighs.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Drake dirtiest secret is pretty simple, but for him it’s really something flustering. He loves you very much and he tends to get slightly addicted to you, especially when you’re not around to satisfy his needs. So Drake has many many, maaaany pictures of you, and some particular parts of your body, hidden in the drawer of his desk, in his captain’s cabin. All those pictures have some white spots on them… because yes, he often jerks himself off on them whenever you’re far from him. Hopefully, you won’t ever find them, but he’s not really proud about it!

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Drake is quite a normal experienced man for a 33 years old man. He didn’t had many girlfriends in his life, but he has some experience with one night stands, and other meaningless short relationships, especially when he was still in the Marine. So he knows what he’s doing, despite his shy nature, and the fact that it’s still complicated for him to flirt with a woman. 

Yet, when Drake is with you in the bed, you better be certain that he knows what he’s doing. He often works by instinct, but most of the time, you are always satisfied by his pace, his positions, and the sweet things he whispers in your ears. He forgets everything about his flaws and his fears during these moments, embracing entirely who he is, and what he can make you feel. So you’re a really lucky woman! Drake knows what pleases you, and he’s generous and kind enough to make you reach the Seventh Heavens each time you have sex together.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Alrighhhht, it’s time to dig a little bit more in which positions are often use by your sexy ginger-head lover. And it’s not certainly the most common ones! Yes, Drake likes to explore, to feel you deeper, closer, and thanks to his Zoan nature, his wildness is really something present in your sexy moments. 

First, you need to know that Drake is a top. He would never really give you the power in bed, even if he lets you take the lead, from time to time. Perhaps it’s a bit because of his manly character, or something more shameful, but he would aways prefer to pin you hard against the mattress. He likes to have you all wrapped around his body, your breasts always brushing his chest during his thrusts so he can appreciate their softness, if not playing with them. There’s also something very hot in the crab position, where he knows you can’t really move and just takes him, fully, his eyes seeing every emotion on your face, while he can kiss you passionately. 

However, Drake got really something with the positions where he can take you from behind, since he can go really deep inside of you, and makes you moan for him. He appreciates to put all his weight on your body, trapping you under his ferocious thrusts, as you’re able to touch yourself if you’re willing to. Of course, when he really wants to be in charge, and feels all the power he has on you, you better be certain that you’re going to do the downward dog position.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Drake is not the most goofy person you’ll encounter for a sexy session. First, he already needs to get into it. I mean, seducing a woman? Letting her see the ravenous fire on his cheeks whenever he tries to have a word with her? It’s a damn adventure! So no, Drake is quite old school in the sheets! Plus, Drake shares his nature with a primal carnivorous beast with wild and dangerous behaviors… Sex is nothing but a natural inner need, so, no, he doesn’t really joke about it and wouldn’t appreciate to hear some jokes as he pounds inside of you. It would only disturb him, and you don’t want to face a pissed off dino!!

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Yes, the carpet definitely matches the drapes! Drake is a beautiful ginger man, and you’ll definitely fine some lovely orange hair in his underwear, even if they are slightly darker than the ones of his head.

Yet, even if Drake has a quite good hygiene - at least he showers once a day - he’s not particularly found of getting rid of his hair! He doesn’t like to shave this area, and would do the strict minimum to keep it clean and not too hairy for you. But don’t ask him to shave the entire thing, he would never agree! Drake is proud of his hair, he feels manly, and wouldn’t like to look like a young teenage boy. He’s a man, okay?

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

It really depends on the mood of your intercourse, and why you’re having sex at the moment! 

If it’s a quicky, Drake isn’t really romantic. It must be intense, quick, passionate, so he’s not going to be really careful with you. As soon as he’s entirely sure that you can take him all (we’ll talk about it but wow wow what a cock!), he’s going to pound hard and even talk dirty. 

Same scenario would happen if your intimate session if for a roleplay, or a sort of bedroom reconciliation moment after an argument. He needs to make you moan, and sweat hard, and there’s no place for romance when he’s still slightly angry about your behaviors… 

However, Drake could be very romantic from time to time. He also appreciates to be tender with you, slowly rocking his hips as he kisses you, whispering your name in the crook of your neck. He likes those particular moments when the two of you have been separated for a while, creating this intense need to feel you intensely, and deeply.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Dear god, what an intense need we have here! Yes, it’s a thing, but Drake likes to masturbate. He’s doing it at least everyday, starting his early morning routines by a long shower where he beats his meat to get rid of any kind of frustration. It’s easy for him to get hard ; he only needs to remember your bouncing body on his cock, and pouf, you have a massive boner here! He tends to have a certain obsession with all kind of sexual things, and he definitely doesn’t want to think about shoving his dick inside of you all the time, especially when he’s about to have a rough and serious day! 

Plus, it’s also a way for him to relax. Being the captain of a pirate ship, and also at war with many other dangerous people, doesn’t really help in general and he doesn’t want to let those things affect his mood. So let him have some fun before starting the day! If you have sex later, don’t worry... He will be ready anyway.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Grinding. Oh, he loves it. He loves when you’re both still fully dressed, aroused as hell, but there’s still this clothes’ barrier between your genitals. He loves to rub his hard cock against your covered core, feeling your desire, your anticipation, the way you chase your pleasure because you want so much more… When he’s about to enter you, he takes his time to let his cock sliding against your wet entrance, your growing frustration becoming something wild and present. It’s really one of his favorite kink! 

Also, Drake really has something with his seed. When he cums inside of you, he usually remains still for a very long time after his orgasm, feeling his warm cum plastered against your inner walls. Perhaps because he wishes to become a father one day, or perhaps he finds it really arousing and dangerous, but when he loads in the deepest part of your womb, Drake wants to remain buried there for a while, until he pulls out with a very nasty sound, immediately followed by his creamy semen. 

Mmmmh, roleplays in bed… Drake loves it deeply! When he can use his former marine uniform to punish you, he really goes crazy, taking you hard and deep, until you come in a long growl. Yes, it excites him when he’s playing someone slightly rougher than usual, and he loves to have you under his control in this situation.

During his wildest sessions with you Drake particularly appreciates anal sex. The narrowness of your pink hole makes him going crazy, and from time to time, he loves to see you struggling so hard to take him in that particular hole. It’s a great little game, and he loves when you do your best, overwhelmed under his long and sharp thrusts as he takes you from behind.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

If Drake appreciates to make love to you in his bedroom, he deeply prefers your sexy sessions outside. Yes, when he’s the middle of nature, there’s something sexy to take you here and there, only pulling down his pants to shove his dick right inside of you. It’s perhaps because of his Devil Fruit, or some inner instincts, but most of the time, Drake is always turned-on when you’re walking on lonely paths somewhere far from the curious eyes. 

He also greatly appreciates sex in his boat office, throwing the many maps, compasses and pens on his desk right on the ground, to put your rear at the edge of it and slams his hips against yours. It often happens during your quickies, but it’s a real motivation to remain awake at night when he has to work. At least, he can have a proper break with some intimate and carnal moments with you, and he deeply enjoys this.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You’re a walking turned-on for him, you have to get it. Drake is literally drooling whenever you’re near him, even if he’s perfectly able to maintain a strict and stoic face by your side. He always dreams to undress you as soon as you smile at him, and more than once, he has to control himself, your pretty eyes and your lovely features calling for something more… sexual. 

Yet, he can’t deny that watching you walking in his shirts is also really great. He just needs to lift that little small homemade dress of yours, and voilà, you’re soon enough bouncing on his lap, moaning his name. He’s really not complicated to get in the mood!

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything which involve pain, Drake would hate it. He suffers from a very complicated past with his drunkard father and clearly doesn’t want to bring unnecessary pain in your sexy moments. He hates to be marked, in any way, and even hickeys aren’t always welcome. He needs to trust you deeply to let your teeth creating a purple circle on his neck, and frankly, this is only to suit you. Drake finds it unnecessarily dangerous and he would rather avoid it. 

Everything which involve pegging him too. He’s really not in the mood to let you play with his sacred hole, and he would violently turn you down if you ever suggest the idea. This is out of question!

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Drake loves to give oral to his partners, but sincerely, he really has something when you give him a blowjob first. He just can’t control himself ; you’re way too hot when you’re sucking him. Everything is a sweet torture is addicted to ; from your soft lips circling the head of his cock, to your expert hands on his balls and your sensational tongue ; it’s the perfect way to start the day or to finish it. When you two are involved during a quicky, sometimes, he only wants you to give him head, because it’s really his guilty pleasure.

However, he’s not bad at making you moan under his tongue! Drake has a very sweet wet muscle, and he has some experience as well. He knows how to make you cum, even if his gestures might be sometimes sloppy at first. But there’s really nothing alarming! Drake is just overwhelmed by the scents of your core and he sometimes gets a little bit too much excited, sucking a bit too harshly on your clit.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Well, usually, Drake is someone rather passionate and raw. He’s in his golden age, he’s experienced and full of stamina, plus he’s a Zoan, so hey hey, you’re going to really have some fun in bed! He just loves to pound inside of you at his best performance, and sincerely, it always swips you away, so once you’re used to it, you sincerely adore it! 

From time to time, though, Drake is able to offer you some slow and tender thrusts, especially when you’re not at your best shape. He certainly doesn’t want to hurt you, so he manages to control himself and to give you enough pleasure by moving his hips with a slower pace, less sharp than usual. It often happens when you’re tired, injured or sick. He likes to cuddle you in those bad moments and be there for you, and most of the time, it leads the two of you to a reassuring sexy session. He appreciates to make you feel good by the power of his magical dino cock, and who can blame him? He knows the best medicine.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He does love those quickies as much as regular sexy sessions! Yes, oh yes, Drake is a busy man, always sailing somewhere, getting involved in political issues, or fighting enemies… He’s not always sure when he’s going to have a proper night with you, so quickies became a real option to keep the fire alive between the two of you. Also, it really matches with his very instinctive nature. Quickies are nothing but moment where the both of you surrender to your needs, and those primal sessions feel really hot. Yep, you totally have a fan of quickies here!

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Frankly, at the beginning of your relationship, yes, he doesn’t like to take risks. He’s barely able to control himself, so he doesn’t really want to put you in risky situations where the two of you could be busted by anyone. No, not really a pleasure to think about it… But with time… Drake evolves differently. The crowd around, the pregnancy risk, everything which involves something rather dangerous feels thrilling and you manage experiencing new stuff in your relationship that you would have never expected coming from him! He just gets more comfortable with you and this is his way to show you that he’s really ready to go deeper in his feelings. The more he takes risks with you, and the more you know he really loves you. What a pirate!

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Great lord, my lady, you need to be ready! Drake is only 33 years old, he’s young and full of energy, and he knows what he’s doing and how to control himself when he’s about to cum. He knows how to keep you panting for hours, pounding hard inside of you, and honestly, you have never experienced someone so primal and raw, but also… with that ability to actually last for hours?! It feels like a performance for him, a goal he needs to achieve. But if you ever feel uncomfortable and sore, Drake would stop everything, and wouldn’t even mind if he didn’t come. Pain, remember? He doesn’t want it. 

Yet, one round is never enough for him, especially during your quickies. There’s something missing, and he’s definitely energetic enough to go for a second! As soon as he came, usually, he needs just a few minutes to get a raging hard on for the second time, plastering your back on the mattress or wherever you are, purring in your ear that you didn’t have enough and he can see it.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not really interested? I mean, he’s not close-minded but he doesn’t really get the point of adding toys in your sessions when you have already plenty to play with? Sex shall only involved the two persons who are in the room, and he doesn’t really understand your need to bring something new and definitely odd for him in this perfect equation. However! Well, blindfold and handcuffs aren’t a problem if he can use it on you, and have some fun with your body while you can’t respond. This dominant kink is really something which turns him on.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Drake can be slightly unfair when it comes to sex and foreplays, but this is always very respectful. Sex gives him power over your body, and you also know that he’s pretty old-school and definitely loves to top you. He likes to take his time with you when he knows that he has plenty, and if he can deny your orgasm a few times, he simply goes for it. There’s something in your frustration that build up his own excitement, and soon enough, he lets you burst into this intense climax, reminding you that you look absolutely dirty and needy under his big fingers. 

Yet, he’s not unfair at all of your sessions, and doesn’t mind if you play with him a little. His tolerance is very low, though, because teasing him on his deepest instincts is somehow very bold of you! But perhaps you want it rough, and he will definitely go in that direction if you tease him too much.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Drake isn’t the loudest in the sheets, but he’s definitely not the most silent either! He doesn’t powerfully moans, but there’s those deep and bestial whimpers which slowly filled the room along with the delicious sound of your colliding flesh. Drake tries to maintain his voice down, but the deepness of his tone is often busted by everyone on the ship. When he reaches his climax, Drake tends to growl even harder, but honestly, you are too swept away to actually ask him to keep it down!

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Wild card, oh! Let’s talk about the fact that he has some problems when you’re topping him. Yes, I mean real issues. Drake is always pretty flustered with a naked woman around, even more when she’s bouncing on his lap, her breasts coming up and down, as she looks nothing but the most sexual thing on Earth. Drake still has nosebleed happening from time to time, and when you’re topping him, the chances of seeing a river of blood coming out of his nose are big! It’s not entirely because he prefers to be the top, or because he’s too manly to let you have some power… No, sweetheart, he’s just terrified to see how much you dominate him in many ways when you’re the one in charge!

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

The dino cock… Let’s talk about this piece of art we have here! Yes, Drake could be really proud of his manhood, it’s already impressive when he’s fully dressed and you can only imagine the thing when you look at this bulge! 

Drake is already pretty tall (233cm/ 7.73), so basically you can’t expect him to have a worm in his pants, it wouldn’t match his height. And he definitely doesn’t have one! Drake’s cock his long, but also large, and there are also many veins on it, but nothing disgusting, on the contrary, it reveals his deep nervous nature. So yes, down there, he’s around 23-24 cm (9 inches), and this is really something if you’re willing to share his bed! 

The head of his cock is slightly redder than the other part, otherwise, the skin is darker than his natural color. His balls are also smaller than his cock, but they swell a lot if they are full. 

He’s definitely a shower rather than a grower! When he’s not excited, Drake’s cock looks pretty the same, losing just two or three centimeters, explaining the massive bulge you often spot in his pants. When he’s excited, he tends to have a lovely curve to the left, which is just amazing when he penetrates you!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Very high for his age and way before average! Drake isn’t old, it’s true, but seriously, he’s very intense in his sexuality and he has some high needs on this matter. Drake thinks about sex a lot since he ate his Devil Fruit, and having you around doesn’t really help to calm down his nature. He wants you all the time… I mean really all the time, sweetheart! Sex is almost an everyday task in your relationship, even after many years. Drake tends to deeply crave those moments with you, but wouldn’t force you if you’re not in the mood.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s not the kind of man who falls asleep after he had sex. Alright, he can feel a sort of inner calm within, or perhaps a soft call for a nap (or night time if you just had sex in the middle of the night), but Drake doesn’t easily fall asleep.

He likes to make this moment lasts a little bit more, cuddling you softly when you don’t want something particular, his thumbs fondling your hips and your back, as he kisses you intensely. This is just impossible for him to cum, roll his hips and fall asleep, when he has just shared something so wonderful with you. You’re usually the one who loses the battle in his arms, his kind massage and the heat of his body sending you in a deep and comfortable sleep. 

[tayegi]

Chapter 5 of New Rules is amazing! And the hug scene had touched me on an intimate level! This has given me the motivation to start my new series! I might upload a chapter tonight! And I know that this week has been extremely hard on you, so take care and remember, two days from now, it's Christmas! So cheer up! :)

Anonymous said:Damn, the end of new rules chp 5 had me in tears. After all the sadness lately, it really was cathartic to have that connection between the characters. You’re amazing!!!

Anonymous said:I LOVE New Rules; it's so good. I love the more human element added to Jungkook in this last chapter, his shitty playing and allowing OC to just be there for him without any ulterior reason. Looking forward to whenever you post again; have a restful end of your year!

Anonymous said:Wow. I can't help but be left speechless after the latest New Rules chapter. I loved the interaction at the end between the main character the Jungkook; it was so raw and meaningful! I read that passage many times over while bundled up in my warm blankets just letting the emotions roll over me. I have been in a similar position as Jungkook with those feelings of apparent failure, and having someone just being there with you is incredibly comforting. Thank you for the lovely chapter and writing!

dutchinsanity said:New Rules chapter 5!!!!!!!!!!! You're giving me chest palpitations it's too f*cking cute >.

Anonymous said:That hug scene was so heart wrenching. This fic in general seemed quite light hearted while still including real life emotions but that scene made me feel the most things... emotions/pain/longing. Made me really crave an interaction like that. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been spending my time alone for over a week now but wow I really want some nice, intimate human interactions like that especially during the holidays when everyone else seems to be with family and friends.

Anonymous said:You know, I read the new chapter as soon as it came out and I still can't get that hug scene out of my head, it was just SO WELL DONE IM JUST UGH. I can say that I've read all of your fics and that scene is by far my favourite from you,you're just SO GODDAMN TALENTED thank you so much for sharing your work with us, it makes my day everytime you release something new. AND NEW RULES UGH SO GOOD thank you seriously i love you

Anonymous said:Hey Lu. I'm in my free days after a week of night shifts and I just read NR 5 and...woah. I feel healed? Like I'm tired as fuck but that hug between them really got to me and it might be the best soft/intense moment I have ever read. The way you described that scene... I fell in love with a scene. And I'm going to reread that so many times,until it won't affect me anymore. Anw,I missed being on your tl and I missed the story. Thank you for updating it. And I hope that you are ok! ~Raw

Anonymous said:The hug scene felt so warm and comforting in many indescribable ways. Thank you Lu, for writing stories that touch the heart, be it with your humour or emotional side which you don’t have to be sorry for. You’re a beautiful person inside out and I’m grateful for your existence! :’) WE LOVE YOU (sends OC hug to you

Anonymous said:People really underestimate hugs. I felt so much intimacy and understanding from your hug scene, more than any scene of love declarations or physical intimacy. Thank you for putting this wordless conversation so beautifully into words.

Anonymous said:I really wasn’t expecting that. Wow that was such a great chapter. I love Jungkook’s and oc’s bickering and funny relationship but I seriously loved this chapter. It was so platonic and it made me so soft. Haha I’m really looking forward to this new side of their relationship. You did great as always Lu -ani

Anonymous said:That platonic hug at the end was everything that I needed after this week. It felt so warm and real. Thank you, Lu. ❤

Anonymous said:PLATONIC HUGGING YES. I really needed that, lu. Thank you for writing it.

Anonymous said:I know everyone is commenting on this but... Gurl, that damn hug scene... I'm literally speechless. The feelings it game me while reading it were overwhelming but kind of refreshing at the same time. Like, at the end of it I felt at ease, as if something inside of me have been unknotted. I love how at first the oc was all angry and then she realised that JK have been through a really bad day and tried to comfort him, forgetting about the project. And how he held onto her, it melted my heart.

Anonymous said:woops i cried when reading chapter 5 of new rules i felt that hug

Anonymous said:Everyone needs a good long hug. No talking just a hug from a good person.

Anonymous said:And i just want to add that now i want to hug Jungkook so bad and also want him to hug me back and i cant accept anyone's embrace bc it will never feel like what ive read bdiebdkendkdsn thats such a mixed feeling I'll just curl in bed and cry and listen to that goddamn John Legend song that seem to fit the mood :((((( bdjendkekd aaaaaaaaaaa

Anonymous said:I loved the last part of new rules chapter 5, like that hug scene made me feel so emotional! You did such a great job as always 💞💞🌻🌻Anonymous said:earlier today i was thinking about hugs, and how It is my favorite way to show affection and how powerful it is, I find it hard to express myself sometimes , and I realized how sometimes a hug speaks, he really talks to you, you are hugging the person and you are sure that she knows what you're trying to say, even if you didn't found the words, and at the same time you feel her words back and how grateful she is, and you represented that so well i feel hugged, hope you do to

Anonymous said:the jk/oc moment was so sweet omg my heart 💛🧡❤️

praisekinkchenanon said:“How to make everyone soft with platonic hugs” a guide by Lu.

Omg... I am really shocked by how many people can relate and emphasize with something as simple as this hug scene... im really touched... bc in my mind, if you can feel emotionally connected to this hug, which i wrote, then it feels like we’ve shared something, like a hug ourselves

ive been having the worst few weeks w/ the sexual harassment thing and jonghyun’s passing and i wrote this scene as almost a therapeutic way to calm myself down and im so happy that you guys are able to share these feelings with me. I love you all

[theclaravoyant]

Skitz prompt: Daisy and Fitz are in a relationship but Fitz is asexual and feels guilty because he knows Daisy likes sex but he doesn't.

AN ~ wow, I don’t think I’ve written pure Skitz since To Keep Your Body Warm and that was like… 3 years ago now? For those interested there’s a FitzSkimmons prompt with a similar theme here x; this one is romantic Skitz/FitzDaisy with a little reference to platonic FitzSimmons.

Rated T for sexual references. Angst/Hurt/Comfort with a Happy Ending.

Read on AO3 (~1700wd)

Intimacy

He chalked it up to inexperience, at first. He was probably concentrating too hard, and the sensations couldn’t carry him away like they were supposed to. The nerves probably didn’t help either; distracting him, forcing him to introspect on every tiny movement and feeling and let’s be real, even the people who liked sex a lot more than he did probably didn’t enjoy the nitty-gritty of it all that much. But as time wore on, he began to feel a disconnect between what Daisy was doing and feeling and telling him, and what he thought.

Despite his misgivings, Fitz was, apparently, good at sex. The more they did it, the more Daisy let him know; with her voice, with her body, with gifts and with trying to return the favour. She told him explicitly, knowing his penchant for insecurity about these things, and Fitz began to rethink his position. If he was good at it, why didn’t he enjoy it? It wasn’t like sculpture or mechanics surely, where one liked it or did not. It was supposed to be a universally pleasurable thing, like chocolate.

(Although, he supposed, there were people that didn’t like chocolate, too.)

It certainly wasn’t for Daisy’s lack of trying, of Fitz’s lack of wishing. She didn’t speak much about his lack of enjoyment. He really was trying, and sometimes trying meant faking it a little, and she usually let him have that without question, although sometimes he could see it grating on her. So it should, he supposed; it would on him, at least, if he were for some reason unable to satisfy her. He wished he had an answer for her, some miracle cure that would bring him to new heights of pleasure, but in all honesty he was just as confused as she must be.

Eventually, in his quest for this miracle cure, he turned to the closest and most genius pseudo-medical chemical expert he knew.

“Jemma? Can I talk to you?” His eyes scanned the other lab techs. There were only a few centimetres between him and Jemma and that wasn’t normal for a couple with partners who were not each other. He shuffled back a little, uncomfortable under their gawking eyes, and added “…in private?”

Jemma smiled, good-natured and curious. She finished addressing the nearby technician and then led Fitz toward an empty bay, where they could talk.

“I was wondering if you had – or if you knew of something – to help with, um…” He scratched the back of his neck and tried not to wheeze the next word: “Sex.”

Jemma blinked. She looked him up and down, before she could stop herself.

“Yes. Of course. Sorry!” Snapping out of it, she shook her head. “Sorry, that wasn’t very professional of me now was it. Of course we have some things for it. There are plenty on the market, but there’s also a stock at Shield. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Fitz. Plenty of people have trouble, especially after such traumas as you’ve been through. Wait right here, I’ll get you some, it’s no trouble.”

Relief washed through him as he stepped out of the way to let her pass. It was that simple? Really? Thank God. He couldn’t wait to tell Daisy.

But when Jemma returned and handed him the bottle, Fitz scowled at it. He read the ingredients over again, in case he’d missed something.

“This – this is basically Viagra.”

“Well, yes,” Jemma said. “If you want anything stronger I’m afraid you’re going to need a prescription.”

“Stronger? What? No.” Fitz shook his head. “This isn’t what I meant. I don’t – I mean – all the plumbing is working just fine. It’s… the actual sex part, I’m having trouble with.”

Jemma laughed a little.

“Nerves? Oh surely Daisy can help you out with that better than I could in this particular circumstance.”

“Daisy has ‘helped’ plenty,” Fitz insisted. “It’s me I’m worried about. I just… get the feeling that sex is supposed to be a lot more… fun, I guess, than it is. More passionate. Just… more.”

He saw the shadow of it cross her face; the same doubt that had crossed his mind, and no doubt Daisy’s, a few times of late.

Are you sure you really love her?

It was well known that Fitz wasn’t exactly the most sexual of beings, but with a deep heart and strong romantic desires, he – and everyone else, he assumed – had just come to believe that he was waiting for the right person. That person hadn’t been Jemma in the end, but he’d set down roots a lot faster and just as strong with Daisy. They had the makings of a romance, and a deep craving for love and family and understanding that they could finally match. To think that after all this time, all this effort, all this heart, he might not love Daisy like he wanted with his whole heart to do… It made him feel defeated.

It defeated Jemma too, apparently.

“Fitz, I – I’m sorry, I have to get back to work. Honestly, Daisy’s the best person for this. You two will figure something out, I’m sure. Good luck.”

She smiled at him, a little sadly, and left. Fitz left too, then, kicking his feet aimlessly, hands in his pockets as he wandered back down the hall. He took his time going to Daisy’s bedroom, his stomach turning slowly, like compost. He opened the door to find Daisy reading – a spy novel, of all things – and she looked up, and her face dropped.

“Hey,” she greeted. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Fitz started gravely. “Apologise to you, I guess.”

“What for? Wait. Hold on. Is this a break-up speech?”

Fitz met her eyes, earnest and sorrowful.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Okay.” Uncertainly, Daisy set her book aside. Her hands knotted into her sheet covers as Fitz climbed into bed. He hugged a pillow, picking at its corner as he spoke.

“I know I haven’t been the most – responsive partner,” he apologised, “and I want you to know that it’s not your fault, not at all. I feel very comfortable around you generally and you’re very attractive and there’s – there’s no trouble there at all.”

“But?” Daisy pressed.

“But,” he obliged, “I don’t see a way forward at the moment, for us. Doesn’t mean there isn’t one, but… if we’re not compatible, we’re not compatible, and that’s nobody’s fault, right?”

“No. Nobody’s fault,” Daisy agreed. “So why are you apologising to me?”

She nudged him with her shoulder, and took his nearest hand in hers. Fitz looked up again. Her eyes were strangely hopeful.

“I – I mean I just, feel bad,” he explained, “for not meeting your expectations, I guess. For not being a good partner. I feel… ungrateful. Guilty, even, sort of. I really like making you feel good, Daisy, but I… really wish sex wasn’t the only way to do that.”

Daisy snorted a little.

“’The only way’. Listen to you.” When her jibe didn’t get a rise out of Fitz, she softened her approach. “Look, Fitz – I don’t know why you and I aren’t vibing, maybe we just have very different approaches to sex. Maybe sex just doesn’t appeal to you, it happens. But it’s okay! It’s okay, because we love each other, and we aren’t together to have sex. We’re compatible in a lot of other ways that don’t involve anyone’s genitals and frankly, I’m not about to give that up. ‘The only way’ to make me feel good? Fitz, please. I am one of the luckiest, one of the most loved people on this planet, and – come on, even now you only feel bad because you love me so much. That’s amazing! We have something amazing. Don’t throw that away over a little lack of fireworks.”

“I did mean physically good,” Fitz clarified, blushing a little with chagrin.

“Well, there’s plenty of non-sexual things in that department too!” Daisy insisted. “Have you ever cuddled yourself? Because if not, you are missing out. Also, the backrubs, honestly? I could melt. Come on, there must be some things I can do for you that are better than sex. Ha. I can’t believe I just said that sentence out loud. But come on, lay ‘em on me.”

Fitz started. His whole view of intimacy shifted all of a sudden. How had he overlooked all of this for so long?

“Well, I like… sitting very close to each other, or cuddling, and all that. I – I like it when you come in the shower with me. I like kissing, I really like kissing, but I also really like when we have movie nights, and it’s just us, and eating popcorn and chocolate in hotel robes in bed.”

He blushed. It all felt so scandalous, like he was confessing some daunting kink. Daisy was smiling now though, soft and kind.

“And backrubs?” she proposed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a backrub.”

“Never? Not ever?”

“Well, not since I was a kid.”

“Oh, babe,” Daisy said, pitiful. “Come here. Take your shirt off, lay across there. I promise I’m not going to do anything sneaky. That’s the way.”

Daisy was a known - and beloved - prankster, so Fitz wasn’t entirely convinced, but she also wasn’t completely ignorant, so he was not exactly unsurprised when she made no swift and sudden move against him. Instead, just as promised, she began gently but firmly rubbing circles over his back, until he couldn’t help but sigh a little. His turning stomach settled.

“See?” Daisy said, still massaging steadily. “There’s plenty else two people can do with their bodies than sex, Fitz. There’s massage, erotic massage – though I don’t know, maybe that’s too much like sex? – and apparently there’s this thing where you paint each other that’s supposed to be just amazeballs. There’s probably loads. We’ll figure it out. Okay?”

Fitz mumbled incoherently. He was, piece by piece, becoming so relaxed that he was losing track of his body parts. Daisy could feel it as his shoulders unknotted and his body sunk deeper against the mattress. She smiled and leaned back against her pillow, settling into a slow and steady rhythm.

“Love you too,” she said.