#wow I'm so sorry that was a huge essay

[kris-mage-fics]

I don't feel sorry for guard-kun in the slightest! First off, the man is corrupt considering he will let MC through for a bribe or a kiss. Second, he's egotistical enough that he thinks MC actually is down when obviously they were just trying to get into Haven. Nah, he deserved to be knocked down a peg or two by MC.

ackksksksnnn i feel so bad for the guard!!! Poor baby actually waited!!! I'm sorry!!! This is exactly why I went back to bribe him on my main save, but damn it curiosity killed the cat on this one!

I want to give him hugs and kisses now poor meow meows are my weakness! He waited!!! He did orz!!!

Guard-kun waiting for MC at the Golden Blossom:

[alexanderlightweight]

Hello! For Writing Wednesday could we please have some more Spoils of War or Created for Death? I’m obsessed with both of these to an insane degree:

What I love about SoW: tentative!Alec whom Magnus has to work at gaining trust from? I love it. There’s a line in one part about Magnus having to fix how the Clave broke Alec before Magnus can gentle him and I just—gorgeous, perfect, headcannon accepted. Veiled consorts? Hooooooly that’s so cool omg I swear I heard a symphony in my head when I realized where you were going. The mask? Alec’s hesitance and obedience, thinking everything is out to hurt him but doing it anyway because what choice does he have, is so beautiful, and Magnus mourning a little that he didn’t have more time to make the experience better for Alec but not willing to risk the delay and risk Alec growing even more distant is just 😍—lmao I could write an essay about how much I love this universe.

CoD: I fucking love eldritch angel nephilim and this is giving EVERYTHING. Nephilim who are cobbled together projects of the angels, their biology so skewed by angelic power that even the nephilim don’t know what their children will look like/heal like/die like. Mostly the difference being subtle, but sometimes Not. Raised to hate and fear their full potential, anything that is Too Angelic, and Alec a living hearsay/blasphemy even when his blood was only 30/70 because if it. AND THEN. It’s not losing Jace that tips Alec over, it’s Magnus dying—demon-born prince/king of edom enemy of the Clave. So gorgeous, holllyyyy. I can’t even think too much about Magnus collaring 6-winged Alec, about Alec kneeling for him, about the terrible kindness and protection in Izzy disowning her brother, about the gentleness of Magnus hiding Alec away and covering his eyes and hushing him because even the ANGELS wouldn’t know what to do in this situation, with this new body, and then Team Immortal coming in and IMMORTALITY and wow

Anyway yeah sorry for spitting up my lovestruck brain in your asks but I had to make sure that you knew you’ve struck me deeply with your writing and that’s why I’m begging on your doorsteps for literally any content in either one of these verses 💜

i'm very glad both stories are being enjoyed so much and please don't apologize i love stuff like this! it's a huge compliment but also it's just really nice to see that other people are as into and obsessed with my verses as i am. because sometimes i wait for my sleep meds to kick in and i just plot where i'm going and end up passing out in the middle of a mental scene being written lol

so i wrote a thing for spoils of war and thank you! i'm glad it was enjoyed because i have this big headcanon about how consorts are really magically important to warlocks and magical kings if dominion magic is in the fic and a big thing about that is protecting the consorts identity. via masks but also cloaking the consort in so much magic that you can't even tell anything abut them besides what the warlock allows you to know. and there is a lot of history thats hinted at

-

for created for death

izzy was fucked up about that, okay. but she had to relinquish alec as a brother because otherwise the clave still had ties to him. since they don't need them anymore, the clave sort of doesn't let true nephilim have any rights. so alec had to be disowned as a nephilim and then magnus was basically like 'okay but my magic is on him so hes mine since i calmed him down' and izzy was like 'he totally counts as a weapon. yours now. because thats the safest thing for alec atm

so alec is actually 70/30 and most nephilm are 30/70 in a angelic/mundane equation. which is why he was being kept watch over by the clave but uh, the fear of magnus dying kinda made him lose it

i hope you enjoy this!

<3 lumine

spoils of war

—

Alec doesn’t know what’s going on.

Magnus didn’t bother explaining what the ritual was or what it did beyond that it was yet another bonding ceremony. But even their political wedding that signified the end of a war didn’t feel this elaborate.

Alec knows it doesn’t really matter, that he’ll be taking part in the ritual whether he knows what it does or not. In fact, it's almost better not to know than to know what he might need to do.

Alec can’t say no to whatever is going to happen and he knows that, so he takes comfort in the fact that he can still see. The mask has magic in and through it and Alec tries not to consider where it’s from and why he can feel nephil magic still fading from it.

Instead, he concentrates on Magnus and his magic and puts out the thoughts and details of his surroundings, like being watched by over a thousand warlocks and their companions, all hidden with their faces hidden behind a variety of masks.

It’s daunting to be here, to be taking part in something that feels so old and sacred when Alec was supposed to be no more than chattel. Fodder for a war built on the blood of innocents that Alec’s own people started.  It feels wrong to be here so defenseless and yet know that Magnus’ magic will protect him better than any weapon.

—

Carefully, Magnus uses magic to take off Alexander’s ceremonial collar and he instead replaces it with a loop of pure magic that will slowly take on more and more power until the image of it will always become whatever Magnus wishes it to be.

For now, however, it is a tight loop of deep purple magic that pulses with Magnus’ magic and power in time to Alexander's every breath.

It’s a show of power to summon a single adamas arrow — one that Alexander gave to Magnus by his own hand — and hold it without harm. Alexander sucks in a startled breath — perhaps at the sight of one of his own arrows or that Magnus can hold it with ease — and Magnus can feel him quiver under Magnus’ palm.

“My protection is absolute. When you bleed it will be because I wish it, for no other is allowed to spill your blood.” Magnus uses the arrowhead to nick Alexander’s upper lip — just as he cut the lower with the stele — and then he leans forward to lick it off and suckle the cut until he earns a whine of pain.

“The flames of Edom will devour all before allowing anyone to touch you without my permission.” Magnus promises and his fingers dance with flames that brush harmlessly over Alexander’s neck — the shard of Magnus’ soul claiming Alexander in an undeniable way that will protect him from harm in Edom.

Alexander seems torn between leaning forward and stepping away and Magnus knows his boy better now than he did when they were wed. Alexander needs no leash as Magnus first thought, just a steady hand and Magnus’ voice.

The bonds between them are the only tether Magnus will ever need with Alexander.

“Sweetheart—” Magnus teases, his voice caressing Alexander with magic and he can see how his boy shudders at the sound and feel of it. He steps forward unconsciously, he's been instinctively drawn to Magnus from the very beginning and Magnus croons and reaches out. His palm blooms with hellfire before settling on Alexander’s hip and Magnus pulls him closer still.

“Should any look at you without being graced by my benevolence, their sight shall be consumed by my magic. A payment for stealing a glimpse of what is only mine to see.”

Magnus’ vows are instinctive and there is a primal surge of delight as he takes the ritual a step further, cursing any being who would dare look at Alexander’s uncovered face without his blessing.

It’s an old tradition.

Older still than the ritual Magnus is using and it’s something that has been out of style for over three centuries. Magnus still remembers the stories of how the legend of Medusa started. A warlock desperate to protect her gorgeous consort cursed her love with a vicious, loving protection.

Magnus knows now that Alexander expects to be a spectacle.

A disgraced nephilim in the eyes of his own people, traded away for a peace bought with his soul and virginity. Alexander expected to be paraded around as a mockery, a whipping boy for the clave to offer to the warlocks and it’s clear that’s what the clave told him he was.

But Alexander is not something to be gawked at.

He is not someone who Magnus will allow others to see, not to admire and certainly not to laugh over. Alexander is his consort and if that means that Magnus veils him in magic and curses all those who dare look upon him, then so be it.

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Hiii i'm sorry if i'm intruding on the conversation by asking this question but i'd love to hear your take on ride 'em cowboy! :] I love that song (as i do all of lil beethoven, haha) and i'm really interested in what you have to say about it (i love going through your answers to these sparks asks by the way, and i definitely relate to the feeling of wanting to write entire essays about particular songs)

Hi friend! 😁 Wow it's such a treat that people have been enjoying reading this stuff! Thanks for the ask! (And thanks Sparks-anon, you started this! I hope you will enjoy this answer as well.)

Okay. RIDE 'EM COWBOY. They had NO REASON* to go this hard with this song. (*They had every reason - this is Sparks and this is Lil' Beethoven.)

What I think cuts so hard with this song is that the majority of the song is comprised of constantly flipping the switch from praise to disdain, from favour to rejection, from inclusion to exclusion - it's a total fall from grace, it's someone flopping completely, losing it all. Every phrase crafted to hit as hard as it can, but in a slightly different way every time, cutting deeper with every line. Starting relatively simple and straightforward with the lines "They laughed with me, then laughed at me", then building with every new line, and later in the song getting more metaphorical and it's even outright violent. (Ron *really* knows how to heighten how emotionally brutal certain experiences are and knows how to cut deep into that. A true master of words.)

…And then the song says, fuck that!! This will not be my defeat! “Ride ‘em cowboy, ride ‘em//I got thrown again//Ride ‘em cowboy, ride ‘em//Get back on again”

There's many ways one could perceive those lines. It can be a “keep going despite it all”, “keep going to spite them all”, a simple “try again”, and even “just go on with your life and let them talk”, or whatever else someone needs to hear to keep them going. (Heck, if someone were to say “ride 'em cowboy” means "fuck the haters", or "fuck it - we ball", I'd call that valid, too.)

A part of this song that struck me immediately early on in my Sparks journey was “From great to good// From good to fair//To barely pass//Stay after class”. I hadn't been out of highschool that long at that point and I'd been a “gifted student” who in the end was really depressed and barely passed. I hadn't really recovered yet from how defeated that had left me feeling. So these lines were immediately my new friends. And since then my love for this song has only deepened more and more over time. I've stomped into my uni building with Ride ‘Em Cowboy blasting on my headphones countless times, on the good days and the bad. It honestly was really good at helping me deal with the pressure of having been one of four non-males in a male dominated field, often being underestimated or expected to prove myself.

“It's not your day//It's not your week//It's not your month//It's not your year” Lyric status: SICK ✧⁠\⁠(⁠>⁠o⁠<⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠✧

I don't live that life anymore, but obviously there are always times in life when this song is applicable all over again. One could see it as a ruthless acknowledgement of the fickleness of people's favour and opinions (also people's opinions of themselves, I might add), and the fickleness of perceived success. And it's a strong reminder to not fall victim to it.

Instrumentally it's absolutely striking and it's such a powerhouse of a song, you don't need to be currently living it to keep loving the hell out of it. Something that I find really cool about this song as well is that when there's words, abbreviations, sayings, or references in it that you're unfamiliar with (as was the case for me as a non-American non-native English speaker) or if you don't know French (my highschool French was enough for this one and I'm a huge fan of “From open door//To merde, alors”), it doesn't make you miss out on the meaning, but you can look all that stuff up and get hit in the face by this song all over again and with extra force.

I only looked up all the abbreviations I was not familiar with earlier this year, and I got to say… “BMOC//Then MIA”, Big Man On Campus, then Missing In Action. Dangit Ron. *Chef's kiss*

…But still, the line to potentially win it all?

"Olé, then gored"

[tigerbears]

THANK YOU SM FOR THE TRANS UTDR VIDEO ESP THE SEAM MENTION BC IM SEAMS NUMBER ONE FIGHTER FOR MISGENDERING THEYRE MY FAVE DR CHARACTER I always feel like that one meme of the knight shielding the princess whenever I correct ppl on their pronouns and get to show off the clip of Mr Fox himself saying it lol, also speaking of tysm for pointing out the issue of him not addressing things— bc man I love the guy but sir Please start actually saying stuff bc this fanbase is too illiterate for you to just smile and wave when it comes to the characters identities,,, esp due to it being such a huge topic of discourse, buuuuut I also don’t blame him for the being overwhelmed part, like I said I agree with like every point you made you were so eloquent through out the whole video thank you sm just aaaaugh punches wall and jumps up and down <3

Completely off topic but I wanna rant abt something for a moment (hence why I’m now sending this w anon and not my blog) but the video reminded me of something that happened to my friend in which she made a post on her UTDR related ask blog which was really simple just a “hey don’t misgender Kris/frisk/chara on my blog” and that was basically it. That was the post. BUT. She had vaguely mentioned the glitchtale and Xtale aus in the tags just bc those came to mind first as big fandom things that misgendered the kids, and SPECIFICALLY she wrote she didn’t know as much abt xtale though and that it was just as I said from the top of her head. And wouldn’t you know! The creator of xtale saw the post and took it to fucking HEART. Like made this whole personal long ass rant in a rb over this simple “hey don’t be transphobic on my own personal blog” post. And then, and I’m not joking, EVERY SINGLE comment, tag, RB, you name it, was ALL harassing her or siding w Xtales creator, the only people defending her were her mutuals, and this was a small blog to boot— this wasn’t some big huge blog going after xtale specifically— it was a small blog making a post aimed at the follower circle just offhandedly mentioning it IN THE TAGS. so this explosion just took a massive toll on her and us. Thus any time I see that au or the creator i just get the most sour feeling like Man I Hate They’re Still So Popular Despite That Shit :(((( so the fact a similar situation happened (at least based on what you described in the vid) just made me remember that was all, just like a feeling of “wow we really haven’t changed at all in like two years have we. :/“

sorry I rambled for so long lol I just got reminded of that situation and wanted an excuse to get it off my chest, again as I said I absolutely loved the video and all the points made and I love the inclusion of swatch as someone who was there for the whole they/them to he/him event :3 and again as I said as a huge seam fan ty for including them bc they’re always overlooked in the NB conversation and I just love any mention of them lol,, my favorite elderly wizard kitty plush <33333

Glad people are enjoying the pronouns essay! I worked really hard with it and I'm glad to see it's at least correcting the narrative.

Though with the X-Tale thing, that's something I'll have to look in to and fact check because I prefer not to spread rumors without evidence. (Not saying it didn't happen; just with the whole "Legends of Localization" misinformation fiasco this fandom has a habit of making s--t up, and thus I want evidence, and while I appropriate your support a little annoyed that it has some X-Tale drama attached that I'm probably to tired to factcheck. Sucks if it's true though; Apologies for any snappiness I just woke up to the success of the pronouns essay and I'm about to go look at all the YT comments.)

I don't like drama and there's a reason the pronouns essay avoided throwing any stones directly at those "guilty."

[blurglesmurfklaine]

okay so you've written a lot already about javid wartime letters. the people (me) want to know what you think about post canon era love letters and javid. if you want to share?

I don't actually know a ton about the late 1800s/early 1900s (the WWII obsession comes from what is probably some form of undiagnosed mental illness, rather than a general wealth of knowledge, but i digress)

but good GOD i am obsessed with this idea now????

Because the thing about Javid--and like, a huge part of why we're all so feral through COUNTLESS iterations of them--is that they're good friends, they just click. And something about the people you click with is that you just want to BE with them, you just want to TALK to them??? You know???

So like. Letters. (i'm not making any sense but bear with me, rabbit with me, all the other animals with me) My brain is already cooking up The Scenarios. and sorry but they are your problem now

Davey is the guy really good at convincing people to join the cause, he's got the Mouth wbk but when it comes to his feelings??? (Honestly, we don't even see him verbalize them that much in the show?? He literally just shakes his head and walks away after the rally and then the next time we see him all is well) Idk maybe he's better at writing them down, just word vomiting because it's not like a persuasive essay, where it's very structured and organized and you can list reasons??? And feelings don't always Make Sense and i can see Davey Taking Issue with that lmao. SO MAYBE Davey secretly writes letters to Jack--never meant to be seen by the light of day--it gets into the wrong hands somehow idk don't ask me about logistics, and one day he just gets a reply like a letter in his mail FROM JACK and it goes on from there and they're writing these letters to each other but Don't Talk About It and there's Tension and don't ask me for details all i have is Vibes

The second Scenario i have devised in my head is: Davey goes off to college somewhere far away and Jack is like "bitch if you forget about me i will end your ass" so Davey sends letters from college and Davey's something of a poet himself and Jack's like "wow i really miss Davey. I forgot how smart he is. I wish he was here. he's so handsome. Oh Shit"

The last Scenario in my head is where they start writing letters to each other because of canon-era-typical homophobia and in a way it's safer than them being seen Together All The Time and they're just so in love is DISGUSTING and yeAh

This was convoluted as hell, my bad, but overall: VERY MUCH IN FAVOR OF LETTER WRITING IN GENERAL LIKE HELL YEAH LETS IMMORTALIZE OUR LOVE IN INK THAT WILL LONG OUTLAST US

also. I just like hearing them Talk To Each Other ya know?? ANYWHO if you have thoughts about it I too would b eincredibly interested 👀

[further-from-maths]

28th Feb 2024, 12:24

I'm back lol sorry for dropping off the face of this blog. that's what IB does to you I guess

Some very cool things have happened since I was last here in writing. I got all five offers back, and I've accepted a firm and insurance choice to two wonderful places!!! Their creative writing departments were wonderful, and the lecturers at my firm were genuinely inspiring to listen to. To get in, I need a 6 in English, and 36 points overall. I think I can do it. My current goals/predictions are:

HL English LangLit: 6 needed for uni, and I managed it in my one mock since switching up. If I get a 5 I can still get into my insurance just fine, but I REALLY want to get into my first choice if I can.

HL Psychology: 7 is the goal. I really want a 7, and there's no excuse barring a lack of revision to not get one. My psychology department is genuinely incredible, and I've done very well in all my mocks. I really want to make them proud so I'm hoping the essays they give us are kind.

HL Global Politics: 7 suggested by the mocks so far, but I'm not the most confident in my politics abilities. I do want a 7 in it if possible though because I really like my politics teacher and also want to make him proud lmao

SL CompSci: 7 almost certain considering my mock grades thus far. I'm not worried tbh.

SL Maths Analysis: 7 PLEASE Maths is so easy to revise and it's easy points!!

AB German: 6 is probably more realistic than a 7 because too many minor slip ups can sink the grade completely, but I really want a 7 too.

Core: 2 is what I'm expecting tbh. My EE and TOK were both fine but I don't think they were WOW yk. I'm expecting a B for my EE hopefully and a B for my TOK, but if I've made my corrections well then hugely maybe I can get an A, which would give 3 points????? That's assuming my EE is in fact B-worthy which I really have no clue about.

Obviously I want to get as high as I can, but if I get a minimum of a 6 in everything, that's still more than enough with Core. I know I'm extremely likely to get a 7 in at least CompSci, so at a minimum I'm thinking I'll get 39 unless core flops?? My goal is to get over 40 though:))))

I'm terrified of making some kind of mistake that gets me disqualified. I know that's irrational but the fear is still there. My English teacher kinda spooked me by saying someone once failed their diploma because they didn't put page numbers in their EE so uh.......................... woooooooo. I'malso terrified about AI writing affeciting me. I haven't touched AI for anything I've done for school ever, but I'm nervous that the AI checker will be bad:( And what if I haven't cited something correctly?????? aaaaaaaaaaaa:(((((((((( Also as a heads up, for this exact reason, I won't be liveblogging my exams lol. I don't want to risk saying anything I'm not supposed to regarding the exams, so I'll make notes and post about them after results day or so. If I post anything during exam season, it'll probably be good-luck posts and nothing more lmao.

We've finished content in pretty much every subject now, which is exciting!! IAs are nearly done -- just waiting for final confirmation that a handful of them are ready for submission, and I've got my computer science IA to finish correcting. The end is scarily close.

Feeling terrified, but as long as I keep my head down and work hard, it'll be alright. Less than 11 weeks left. Let’s do this.

75 days until.

[bruhcodes]

One Year of Bruhcodes

i thought about the best platform to dump this essay on for a while, and unironically, tumblr might be the best. sorry for dragging you all to tumblr for this i promise you don't have to stay for too long.

back in 2020, i wrote two scripts. youtube scripts. don't know why, just had two ideas and wanted to put them into words. those ended up being a video about handheld videogames being playable on home consoles, and the original xbox i had just ordered off of ebay. what i DIDNT think of was a new super mario bros review. that wouldn't come until about two years later when one of my friends said they'd watch my videos if i actually made a youtube channel.

WOW, you are a strong soldier. i don't know how you made it through that. i don't know how ANY of you guys made it through my early work. but here we are! a year later! and i'm in a position where i can write out a huge thank you note to my FANS(??!?!?!?!!!) that all watch my videos every monday night. that's so cool!!!

the journey so far has been nothing short of incredible. i've spoken to people i never would've thought i'd be able to speak to, pushed myself out of my comfort zone again and again and again to make content that i truly enjoy making, produced things i would've never dreamt i'd be capable of making. and that's only a year. i have to thank you all, again, and again, and again, and again, because honest to god i would be nowhere without the support from you guys. seeing people in the comments sections, in the discord server, it's amazing and i get so happy seeing people interact and just... talk about stuff.

it's all very heartwarming. even this.

in all seriousness though - thank you all, so much, for this past year. i said i hope we make it to another 6 months in the video, but if this went on for 6 centuries i don't think i'd mind. i love making content and i don't think i'll stop until i'm physically unable to make content. or maybe mentally. maybe making these videos has been reducing my mental ability this entire time and slowly i'll become incapacitated and on life support?

eh, worth it.

[myaquariusheart]

8/5

OH MY GOd, I just submitted my Dissertation and I can't believe it, all my work is done!!!! I feel a sense of relief and just realised I have nothing else to do, other than my Plato essay, which I will do slowly when I'm bored. That's it, it's done, this is going to determine if I graduate, which I will. Sorry I have to graduate, I can just feel it. It's been a long few days, staying at uni and finishing my work but my hard work will pay off. Now it's my world and I can basically do whatever I want. I had a similarity of 20% but I don't really care, it's done and dusted now. I will focus on drawing, art, writing and playing Animal Crossing. I need to fix my island and make it so beautiful and I just can't wait for this freedom. I need to focus on making money and just keep manifesting, love, success, money, and happiness for myself and others around me. I feel happy and have a sense of sadness because I'm never going to Uni again or having that fun drama that goes on in the library. It was a fun experience and I've been such a messy bitch but I have to love myself for it. WOW just don't know what I'm feeling right now, I just can't wait to pick out my graduation dress and everything. Later on I'm heading to the gym with cake and tomorrow, I'm dropping off my books to uni, and a last goodbye to that place. I have collected so many stamps on my bubble tea card and tomorrow I'm going to redeem my two free drinks. I need to celebrate but there's no one to celebrate with me, and in the way I want to celebrate anyways. T is going on holiday tomorrow and I'm so happy for her she deserves the world and all the success too. I'm feeling an overall emotion of happiness and just hope all goes well because I did work hard on my disso even though I started so late. ANYWAY yeah over the moon and super proud of myself but I did say a huge thanks to R as well, I wouldn't have been able to do anything without him. I'm literally saying thank you to everyone before anything even happens but LOL today is such a big day for me and I cant believe I have done it. I have so many things I want to do, mostly just relax and work and earn so much money but let me not do it so quickly.

[secondsofhappiness]

I hope you don't mind me asking but I read your posts about your sexuality today and I wondered when you realised you were ace and what you feel looking back on your teenage years? Did you still do typical teen stuff and realise you were ace later on? What made you realise you were? Sorry I'm just so curious and I hope I haven't offended you. Much love

That’s fine, anon. I don’t mind talking about this stuff at all on here so ask away! Makes a change from my personal life where I have never talked about it :)

I’ll try my best to answer your questions!

First off, when did I realise? When I was 26. I’m 28 now (29 in July). Late, I guess. Or maybe not late as many people my age perhaps never heard of asexuality until later in life so didn’t know there was a word for stuff.

Looking back at my teenage years? Haha I definitely knew I wasn’t like others. I think I started realising I was a little different around age 14-16. I didn’t have friends who were mega into boys or dating or anything so that perhaps delayed any response I had to that stuff but it was mainly my general behaviour. I didn’t talk about boys/girls, I didn’t show any interest, I actually found it difficult when they began talking about celebrity crushes or real life crushes and it’d all make me deeply uncomfortable. So I’d make a few things up and I always referred to myself in my head as a “late bloomer”.

The main thing that made me realise I perhaps had an unusual response to this stuff was when one of my best friends told me he liked me. He’s the only person so far in my life to ever do that and I adored him. He was so funny and I liked him a LOT. It was all swoon crush stuff with 16 year old me smitten with him. I didn’t want anything else, only to be noticed by him and to spend all of my time in his company. The second he told me, I clammed up and told him I wanted to be friends. I liked him an awful lot but I still turned him down. I then couldn’t even bring myself to speak to him. I was a wreck. I left school without speaking to him or saying goodbye. I treated him so poorly and I regret is so much but I didn’t know how to deal with the prospect of dating someone.

I’ll pop the rest under a cut as many people may not be interested in this..!

Then we got back in touch when I was in University… yep! We had been kind of in touch online for years but we messaged a lot and when I was home from Uni I agreed to meet up with him. It took EVERYTHING out of me to meet him after he finished work. He worked in a clothes shop and it took me 8 attempts of walking in to find him. I was a MESS and felt sick. I managed it and we walked around and looked around the shops together and he walked me to the bus stop and I gave him a hug that took all of my nerves. He was incredibly sweet, he was very patient and asked me if I wanted to meet up with him a month later when I was home. He told me he’d had feelings for me since school, had never stopped thinking of me (Christ alive) from time to time etc. I said yes I’d meet him but when that month came, I freaked out and made excuses that I couldn’t go. I have never seen him since. He got a girlfriend soon after and I still have him on social media but we don’t talk and I haven’t heard from him in years.

I learned a lot from that because one singular thing became apparent and that was my reaction to dating, relationships and attraction was different to everyone around me. I had NO frame of reference for it. I had no clue what to do and not just in the fumbly teenage way, but more that I had no natural pull to want to do this stuff. Emotionally - yes - but outside of that it was very difficult for me to want anything. That was such s tough struggle to reconcile and it still is.

It was much more obvious once I hit University. I went through school, college and University without a love interest, boyfriend or any attempt at one. I didn’t even look or consider one outside of a few very short romantic crushes. I made zero attempt to instigate anything.

University was an eye opener because sex was everywhere and it just didn’t factor in my life. I had no interest in it. I didn’t actively pursue anyone because I had no desire to. I did develop feelings for one of my close friends (I wrote about this the other day so see a previous post) and that whole experience confirmed to me that I didn’t have a “normal” reaction to attraction because I remember him giving me a hug once when we were watching a movie and I felt the moment it maybe went from friendshippy to something a little more and I freaked the hell out. I pretty much recoiled in horror but tried to cover it up. I didn’t know how to respond and I didn’t want it to continue despite me liking him an awful lot. Confusing, right?! Haha.

Since I was 21, I have had only one other semi romantic attraction that I now can’t even understand because I know the guy better now and we’d never have gelled in the long run. That’s it. I don’t date, I don’t look, I don’t consider relationships. Now, there’s a common denominator in all of it and that was always the looking to the future. The “well if I find some shred of confidence to try to respond to these advances then that means I’ll eventually have to consider physical stuff because that’s how the world works” and that fact alone was enough to stop me in my tracks and end things with quite a significant amount of finality!

I used to ponder it all the time and never understood what was wrong with me. I used to call myself (secretly) “avoidant”. That was my own word. That I had an avoidant personality. That I was simply unable to share intimacy. I read article after article, tried to work out why I was this way and it wasn’t until I was 26 that I saw a post about asexuality and reading it, I cried my eyes out. I visited AVEN and read everything I could, I bought books and everything just felt so personal and was like reading about myself. It was so comforting and I finally understood that perhaps it did have a name and I wasn’t screwed up or broken.

Looking back, so much made sense. I had never ever felt in any way sexually attracted to anyone I’d liked. The mere thought of that actually put me off. I got NOTHING out of the thought of that. If anything, it made me feel really damn uncomfortable. I always thought people were joking when they said they thought about sex so much. So much teenage media had been lost on me because I didn’t share their experiences or desires. I’d never had any of the thoughts that are associated with teenagers and those in early 20s. Friends with benefits was something I just didn’t get. One night stands were alien concepts because why would people?! What’s the point?! There were so many signs and I just hadn’t realised them all until later in life.

So I didn’t do typical teen stuff. I didn’t have any of the typical firsts or experience any stereotypical teenage experiences and they didn’t happen in college, uni or beyond either. That’s difficult to accept at times because many people who are perhaps late bloomers actively want that stuff. I didn’t.

When I turned 25, I noticed friends became a little more interested in that aspect or non existent aspect of my life and the more they questioned or queried, the more it made me think of how I felt and so much slotted into place. I’ve never “come out” or whatever you want to call it but I am also pushing 30 having never had any relationship or pursued one and my friends definitely just accept this about me. One of my best friends, Hattie, said to me once “I don’t think you’d everyone be with someone unless you were very very close to them or perhaps you may never have those feelings for someone but I’d hope you’d tell me if you wanted to talk about stuff”. That’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to talking about it.

So the future is unknown but nothing has changed since I was 14-16. I am still exactly the same about it all as I was then and so I guess if I’d have known about asexuality I may have been a little less upset about how different I seemed to be from my peers and may have understood myself a little better and spent much less time worrying, stressing and feeling like I was a broken human being! That said, I always focused on friends and have been fiercely independent and happy being alone so I’ve always been pretty well adjusted despite it all :)

So yeah! I hope that answered your questions, anon. Why do you ask? If you’re questioning, I’m always happy to answer any questions etc. Might as well chat about it as it’s so damn unknown in the grand scheme!! 🙂

[ncityavenue]

"Do it clap?"

VERY SHORT.

Prompt: you get interrupted from doing your ELA essay when your Best friend, Jaehyun, video calls you to ask you a outrageous question.

Pairing: Jaehyun x Black fem reader

Disclaimer: use of the n word(obviously only the reader will say it), writer/reader making fun of jaehyuns huge head and mentions of drug use (weed)

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

"In the beginning of the passage it shows....no! I already said that!!" You slightly shout.

You raised your clear glasses up on your face as you bend down in criss cross apple sauce position to write down more notes. You pout at your work not being the way you wanted, dragging your eraser across the pencil-beat up paper.

Right before you can get back to your sentence on your paper, you hear your ring tone go off.

Jaehyun.

You huff picking up your phone and answered,"why the fuck are you calling me?"

"Ayyyy! Long time no see!" Jaehyun smiles showing his dimples, you roll your eyes before putting your pencil down.

"I literally saw you 4 hours ago..." You reminded.

"Exactly why I said long time no see sweetheart." Jaehyun says as he rests his head on his hand.

"Anyways! What do you want? Why are you calling me?" You questioned trying to sound annoyed of his existence.

"Wow a hi jaehyun would be nice."

"Answer my question big head."

"Ok fine! I called you because I have a question." Jaehyun begins.

Now, you can visibly see that he's been smoking pot hense that his eyes are more hooded than ever and slightly pink. So, you prep yourself for the utmost crazy question that's weirder than the last he's asked.

"So.. you know how you were wearing those checkered leggings today?" Jaehyun drags on, you nodded with a raised eyebrow.

"I know I've mentioned you having a thick booty before but I have a question...." Jaehyun looks off as he ducks his head chuckling a bit.

"Jesus, jaehyun what're you about to say?" You asked as you plant your hand on your face.

"Do it...do it clap? "Jaehyun basically whispers, your eyes widen at the question. You were so shocked that you started dying laughing.

"JAEHYUN WHAT?" You exclaimed, you didn't have the energy to lecture him for the question so all you did was try to calm down your laughing.

"DO IT CLAP?!" Jaehyun repeated causing more laughter on your end.

You bury your head on your arm hiding the slight flustered face that was painted on your face, "NIGGA I DON'T KNOW "

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW YOU NEVER TRIED?" Jaehyun exclaims.

"NO? WHY WOULD I?"

"I WOULD IF I HAD A FAT ASS LIKE THAT–"

"JUNG JAEHYUN—"

"Ok I'm sorry, but I'm curious..will you show me?" Jaehyun questions with puppy dog eyes.

"..this conversation is over."

"C'MON JUST ONCE I WON'T TELL NO ONE THAT I HAVE A GIRL BEST FRIEND THAT KNOWS HOW TO CLAP HER CHEEKS "

You start to doodle on your paper free handley"Jaehyun...why do you wanna see?"

"Because I'm curious." Jaehyun shyly says even though he just said the most bold question. (There's been worse)

"No babe...just no.. maybe when I'm drunk but not right now, you interrupted me doing my essay just to ask me that goofy ass question." You firmly say.

"I was just curious don't get mad please." Jaehyun pleaded sheepishly smirking.

"I'm not mad I'm just stunned and confused." You snicker.

"Good, I'll still get my answer sooner or later because I will be asking again." Jaehyun demanded, you shook at your head.

You cant deny that you didn't feel a little flustered at the question, yes, Jaehyun never fails to remind you that you have a thicc booty but that question just gave you whiplash. (haha, get it?)

"Okay whatever, I will be ending this call now. Take that big ass head to sleep." You ordered.

"Night night princess" Jaehyun smiles again showing his perfect dimples. You close your eyes shut for a few seconds trying to not let his pet names for you get the best of you.

"Goodnight Jaehyun" you mimick his smile before ending the call.

Good night indeed.<3

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

HELP IDK WHAT THIS IS😭— DONT ASK. I was just like "this is something jaehyun would do🤔" and wrote it with the quickness bc I didn't want my brain juice running out...I think I need help—

ALRIGHT BYE BESTIE BOOS😭💞💞

[msprojects]

KazuHoku Shibuxile #13 Instalive translation

05/28/2022

Disclaimer: these are approximate translations! I know there are also other translations out there, but I'm doing this to practice my Japanese and also share the KazuHoku (and Zin their stan lol) love!!

Shibuxile #13 Instalive before the show *Zin and Taiki wait while Kazuma and Hokuto are being prepped by the producers. They then introduce the boys and proceed with the questions below* Zin: If you could switch places with any of the dancers in The Rampage for one day, who would it be? Hokuto: Zin-san! Zin: Oh! Taiki: You're such a nice kid for saying that. Hokuto: Zin-san knows a lot of things so I'd like to be him for one day and know them, too. *cue Zin denying it lol* Taiki: How about you, Kazuma? Kazuma: Kaisei, maybe? I'd wanna know what it's like to have his (body) build. Hokuto: I'd go to the beach if I had his body. Zin: I heard Kaisei say that recently, that he wants to go to the beach. Hokuto: You heard him, right? Zin: *imitating Kaisei lol* "I wanna go to the beach!" Zin: All right, let's do one more round of questions. Zin: *reading the cue cards* Hm, what'll it be... ah! Anything's good. Then, if the both of you could switch with each other, what's the first thing you'd do? Hokuto: Oh, with me and Kazuma? Zin: Yep. Kazuma: Basketball! Hokuto: I'd also do the same, definitely :D  Zin: Got it, got it. Kazuma: Definitely basketball. Hokuto: You know, I can't really eat spicy things. Zin: That's right, you can't. Hokuto: So, I'd wanna have Kazuma's mouth. Kazuma: My mouth, lol. Hokuto: Like, I wanna know what it feels like, you know. Taiki: Ah, yeah, yeah. With spicy things. Taiki: And you, Kazuma? Hokuto: He just said it. *so sharp and quick to the point this kid!* Taiki: *his face as he realizes he dun goofed lolol* Hokuto: Were you listening? *OMG HOKUTO!* Taiki: *laughs then tries to shoot a glare at Hokuto but fails spectacularly lol* Hey now, Yoshino... Hokuto: But were you listening tho? Lol Taiki: *concedes defeat* I was listening. I'm very sorry (to Kazuma).  Zin: Lol, anyway... next question. Is there anything you appreciate about each other? Taiki: Ah, how wonderful! Hokubu: It's not really, at all. *poor Taiki lol Hoku-chan ain't going easy on you today* Taiki: Stop biting down on me, little piglet. *kyaaaaaa Taiki such a cute comeback!* *Now, I invite you all to keep an eye on Zin as Hokuto answers the question... :D*  Hokuto: Well, we've been by each other's side for about 5 to 6 years --  Taiki: Wow, it's been six years already? Zin: That's right, you guys were very young. Kazuma: *is looking intensely at Hokuto* Hokuto: -- so I'm grateful that he's always been by my side this whole time. Zin: *can't contain his excitement, watch his hands!* Ah-HAGH!! Kazuma: O_O *he was so suprised at Zin it broke his concentrated look, so cute* Taiki: Jeez, what's with the weird reaction. Zin: Well, it's true, right. Kazuma: It's a good thing, isn't it? *couldn't quite catch what he said, I'm guessing at this* Zin: Yes, I see, I see.

--

So... team Zin?! Team Zin anybody?! LOL like, he is rivaling Riku right now for #1 KazuHoku stan in my book. You can already see him getting all giddy about Hokuto's answer gahahahahaha. Also, Hokuto, you were merciless on Taiki!! But Taiki looks used to it hahahahaha.

I know I said I'd also post KazuHoku shipping thoughts, but it became this huge monstrous essay and I'm still editing it. I decided to just go ahead and post the translation separate from the essay so you, my dear readers, can watch the video and understand my excitement as well. I'd love to hear what you think or if you just want to go *kyaaaa* with me! :D :D

See you in the next post, hopefully soon... ish!! :D

[wooahaes]

(why does it have me so soft that you thought of me fhhjfh i'm easily moved lol but i rlly like talking to you) thank you sm<3 i'm doing better! I'm struggeling a bit with my health rn but I also have a big ass essay to write and it's just A Lot but I'm sure I'll manage!! I'll just speak it into existence lol

hgjfhgj omg that fight thing is so cute but I can picture it so well for them T-T also on the topic of dino - because of his nickname i always have to think of him when i see adorable otter content now. Like, I'll be seeing stuff like this and my brain goes :( dino :(

"pick a god and pray" is probably the best one ever across any of the games honestly. I also love Jakobs crit lines in fate he's so sassy "time to take out the trash" "you are excused" "you're about to be served" - what a legend IKR like. claude?? please be a little more subtle about your thirsting

okay but catching cheol feelings over writing UtS is absolutely valid. as someone who is cheol biased lemme just say the way you write him in UtS? perfection. i have way too many feels for this man and your writing makes me love him even more T-T

saame i love that petty drama queen. oh god seungkwan would have the best quotes in battle fdjhfjs

I'm so sorry about your fucked up sleeping schedule but I'm glad you at least found a way to deal with the pain >_<

good thing you're a little better over all<3

aaaa i get the same way tbh!! ppl dont rly think of me often i dont think but when they do it means a lot and im always emotional as a result <3

i'm glad you're doing better!! i hope ur health struggles aren't too bad and that u do well on ur essay!! that reminds me i have a discussion board post i need to do but i have time lol im fine w doing it a lil late

(link is safe for anyone who wants to click on it <3)

stop thts so cute omg <3 i would like to also share tht chan always holds hands w reader when he sleeps bc he just likes being connected to them in some way (and usually someone else wants to cuddle too so he'll at least hold hands w them bc cuddling is nice. which isnt to say chan doesn't have times where he just wants to keep reader to himself--he just doesnt want to be possessive and keep them from cuddling w the others if they want) and i imagine it's probably jeonghan who looks at them and he's like wow... just like otters since they hold hands when they sleep to keep from drifting ykno. honestly he probably holds hands w anyone but esp reader lol

LITERALLY its such a powerful line i love quoting it casually lol also im not a huge fan of jakob as a unit but his crit lines are always great. i appreciate the ones that are just like "bye <3" too tbh sfkhsd

writing cheol in UtS just really makes me appreciate him more as a person too tbh like. hes SUCH a good leader in general??? and i just kinda hope to do him justice with the way i write him and according to a lot of ppl im doing well there? i just love and appreciate him a lot even if he's not in my top three members of svt <3 like i said... 3 biases, 10 bias wreckers at all times.

haha fun fact actually: cheol is one of the characters who always loves reader despite whos part ur reading. it's always a matter of him putting their happiness first even if it kinda hurts tbh haha what who said that

oh absolutely <3 i think minghao would have some pretty solid battle quotes as well.

its ok!! literally today is the earliest i've gotten up in the past week-ish so maybe i can start fixing my sleep schedule lol

thank u layton anon ily i hope u get to take it easy and rest soon <3

[harvestdew]

Yo sorry if this question takes a while to awnser, but if Cleo and Kiki were NPCs what do you think thief heart events will be like? If you don't want to awnser this that's fine, I'm just curious.

no problem! i actually need a break from my essay anyway i wrote 4 pages and it took me 5 hours/made me stressed, so this is a good way to decompress for me!

kiki’s 2 heart event - standard, boring 2 heart event... enter pelican town on a sunny day anywhere from 9am to 4pm. you see kiki on her way out of pierre’s and her grocery bag breaks. you have 4 options:

ask “are you okay?” and help her (+30 friendship). kiki is embarrassed someone saw her, but says “thank you so much for helping me! that was pretty funny, wasn’t it? i guess i bought too much”

“i didn’t see anything” (no effect on friendship). kiki just laughs it off

ignore her/do nothing (no effect on friendship). kiki goes “...” before telling herself she’s so clumsy and running off

“wow, that was dumb of you.” (-50 friendship) kiki, trying to remain deadpan, responds “yeah, you’re right”

kiki’s 4 heart event - (similar to leah’s 4 heart event) enter kiki’s house when she’s there. for some reason, she doesn’t notice you entered and you hear someone else talking unintelligibly on the landline, but she isn’t responding. after a while, she hangs up without saying anything, notices you, and jumps, asking “have you been here the whole time?” you have 3 options:

lie and say “i just got here” (no effect on friendship). kiki sighs and says “oh, okay. that’s good”

"who was that?” (no effect on friendship). kiki goes “...” and tells you it was just an annoying telemarketer. then she asks if she can help you with anything

"are you okay?” (+20 friendship). kiki tells you she just got an unwanted call from someone she doesn’t want to talk to but doesn’t elaborate. she mentions being worried someone’s going to come over, then realizes you’re still there and laughs it off as a joke, trying to cover it up with a random fact about tulips

kiki’s 6 heart event - (similar to haley’s 6 heart event) enter the cindersap forest from 5pm to 9pm while it’s raining. kiki spots you (“!”) and asks for help, explaining her cat (ghost) ran away because she didn’t properly lock her door and the storm blew it open (this literally happened to me and my cat didn’t come home for 3 days LOL). she explains how important her cat is to her. you have 2 options:

"i’ll help you find him!” (+30 friendship)

“just get another cat?” (-30 friendship)

either way, you can walk around the cindersap forest and click on a bunch of shrubs. the cat will come out of one of them and you bring it back to her. kiki hugs you and says she felt too guilty to ask anyone else for help. she also points out because it was raining you should go back inside before you get sick, so she offers to walk you home 

also: fun fact the farmer replaces sebastian in here because this was something i wrote for him, but it feels like a good 6 heart one imo

kiki’s 8 heart event - done here!

kiki’s 10 heart event - (similar to emily and maru’s) you get a letter in the mail from kiki that says something along the lines “come by the forest tonight!” if you enter the cindersap forest from anytime between 7pm to 11pm ONLY during the summer you’ll trigger the event. it turns out she wanted to look at constellations with you and borrowed maru’s telescope. kiki starts talking about how she was figuring out how to make up for you finding her cat but didn’t want to do anything boring. you only have 1 option:

"wait, is this a date?” (no effect on friendship)

kiki gets MEGA embarrassed, explaining she thought it was obvious but isn’t going to be mad if you don’t like her. you now have 3 options:

"wait, i do like you!” (no effect on friendship). kiki goes, “seriously? you mean it? i’m so happy!” and you resume the date. before the cutscene ends, she has you look at some stars and explains the story of altair & vega which originated in china (“have you heard about the story of altair and vega? it’s about a cowherd and a weaver girl who fell in love but were separated by a river which is supposed to be the milky way. it’s sad, but once a year a bunch of magpies form a bridge and they reunite. romantic, right?”)

“i’m sorry, i don’t like you” (no effect on friendship). kiki tells you she understands, explaining you’re just as good of a friend and will be fine

“ew” (-30 on friendship). kiki sighs and tells her she better return maru’s telescope

as for cleo i have no idea if cleo would be a marriageable npc... we’ll see. let’s get to her heart events though (excluding her 10 heart event)

cleo’s 2 heart event - enter cleo’s room whenever she’s in there. cleo asks why you didn’t knock out of annoyance, but gets over it to complain she smells like fish (because she’s a fisherwoman LOL). you have 2 options:

“if you hate the smell of fish so much, why are you a fisherman?” (no effect on friendship). cleo explains she picks up fishing because that’s the 1 condition kiki has if she wants to stay with her free of rent. she complains about her cousin for trying to teach her some work ethic, then goes on to say she can’t wait til she and whatever sam’s band is called gets famous and she can stop fishing

“not my problem” (-30 friendship). cleo gets irritated and tells you “look, i didn’t ask to be a fisherwoman, okay? i hate farming and mining doesn’t make that much money. why are you even in here?”

cleo’s 4 heart event - enter pelican town any time during the day when it’s sunny. you overhear haley berating cleo with a magazine (even though they’re friends), who asks why she never mentioned she modeled. cleo gets annoyed and tells haley to back off because she doesn’t want to talk about it. you have 2 options:

do absolutely nothing (-30 friendship). haley finally walks off; cleo looks at you and goes, “what are you looking at? don’t listen to stuff that isn’t any of your business”

tell haley to stop (+30 friendship). haley sighs and apologizes to cleo for being nosey and leaves. cleo awkwardly thanks you and says something offhand like “i guess you’re cool” before running off

make up an excuse to pull cleo aside like “cleo, i don’t get how to use my fishing rod, can you help?” (+50 friendship). cleo thanks you for not making a huge scene and sighs. she explains haley figured out how used to be a model and wouldn’t stop asking why she quit. she also mentions she knows you probably want to know and claims it’s just “stupid personal garbage” and “the modeling industry is shit”

cleo’s 6 heart event - enter cleo’s room whenever she’s in there again. you find her mumbling to herself out of annoyance before she notices you and greets you. then, she explains she just figured out that everyone in her old band seems to be doing really well and she’s worried they’re going to get a gig for the band SHE started. you have 2 options:

ask “what band?” (no effect on friendship). cleo explains her mom wouldn’t let her go to a gig for the band to punish her, leaving them without a bassist. she says when she snuck out to go, the lead guitarist had immediately replaced her and decided to kick her out of the band, which is why cleo ran away out of humiliation. plus, she thinks their new music sounds like shit 

“who cares? you don’t need them!” (+30 friendship). cleo goes silent before telling you you’re SO right and tells you that good-for-nothing guitarist that kicked her out wasn’t even that good of a guitarist!

“maybe you were a bad bassist” (-50 friendship). cleo gets defensive and tells she was a perfectly good bassist. then she sighs and says she wonders if she’s not as good as she thinks she is and should just stick to fishing, before telling you to get out

cleo’s 8 heart event - (similar to sam’s 8 heart event) cleo shows up to your door when you wake up and gives you a flyer for a battle of the bands in zuzu city. the next day, you go to the venue with cleo and she realizes she’s going up against her old band before freaking out. she tells you she doesn’t know what to do because she’s scared she’ll mess up and prove them right. you have 3 options:

"you can do this!” (+50 friendship). cleo tells you that’s cheesy but you’re right. she goes on to say “screw all of them! i don’t care!”

“who cares? show them what they’re missing!” (+50 friendship). cleo gets pumped and agrees with you before saying, “ugh, what was i thinking? i don’t care what any of them think”

"don’t be a baby” (no effect on friendship). cleo goes “ugh” before begrudgingly admitting you’re right

either way, you get to hear them play like in sam’s 8 heart event. it should correspond with whatever music genre you chose for him in his own events. sam’s band also wins and cleo makes fun of her old band. the lead guitarist gets annoyed and tries to fight with her over it. you have 2 options:

“get him cleo!” (no effect on friendship). cleo punches the lead guitarist off the screen the way pierre punches morris at the community center

“ignore him, he’s just a loser” (no effect on friendship). cleo says she guesses taking the higher road is better and doesn’t wanna mess up her hands

regardless of what option you pick, at the end of the cutscene, cleo thanks your farmer for encouraging her not to giving up and how she couldn't have done it w/o your help

okay that’s it! i’m sorry for taking so long to write this, but i hope it was interesting and i promise really appreciate the ask <3 it was fun to write

[foxymoxynoona]

“The obvious thing would have been to paint pictures of people but that wasn’t what Rana had done. She had painted colors and shapes of culturally significant things that then faded into other things from other cultures –the saffron of Thai monk robes faded into stacks of spices from a Moroccan market faded into pyramids faded into brown mountains faded into tall green peaks with gray ruins faded into the statue of David faded into… and so on. Everything was connected, two floors of brick walls covered with this elaborate murals that showed a stream-of-conscious sampling of the world –but it was less literal than that too and Jungkook tried to understand how Rana managed to capture all of it so well because the shapes and items weren’t what felt important, it was the colors that felt important. It was beautiful to look at. It pointed out connections to you that maybe you’d never noticed before. It made the world feel both infinitely huge and also familiar, within reach, knowable .”

oh wow. see this is why artists amaze me because how would you even think to create something like this.

confession: i used to hate art class so much back in my schooling days. from kindergarten to high school. i was always bad at creating art in any medium—be it drawing, painting, sculpting—that’s why i hated it. anything i made always looked like a complete disaster compared to others’. because one of my best friends was so good at it, we made a deal between us both of labor exchange—she would do all of my individual art class assignments and i would take care of all of her english essays. worked swell between us and none of the teachers ever suspected a thing LMAOOOOO

okay anyway back to rana. sorry. this also reminds me of how rana loves to don colorful clothes

When I tell you I stressed realizing I needed to come up with her art project 😅😅😅 My mom is a professional artist (painting and sculpture, contemporary) and my older son already has a strong passion for art, and there's me in the middle drawing like I'm still in 4th grade 🤣

That trade is wild. I'm not artistic talent but even I wouldn't write essyas to avoid it haha, I would just accept my mediocre art grades 😆 ... I say now that I am free of the need to get straight As.

[awanderingdeal]

wow i asked for that prompt, and I didn't think it would be anything special, just a cute moment, but i'm beyond glad i asked, because you took my heart and just gave it a huge fucking hug. The way he wore them, the acceptance of the team (the asking of pronouns, too, and his casual reply to it), and just the LOVE. You write so incredibly i could feel the tears Finn was holding back and i could feel the glowing love he was receiving. This was beyond my wildest imagination, THANK YOU <3 -aj

aj! You are such a precious human. Thank you for continually providing the best prompts and support. I can't explain how much it means. I'm so happy you liked it.

Reading it again, I'm not sure if it's too clear, but the tweet to Finn was supposed to be from a fan, not one of the team. It's also purposefully a little clumsy (PSA: Don't just ask people if they are trans!) but I'm glad the supportiveness came through. Finn doesn't correct this because whilst I think he would be very pro trans rights, I don't necessarily think he'd be the most educated. I was trying to reiterate the fact that for Finn, this has zero to do with gender, he's just a man that wants to wear a skirt. That said, for those of you wearing clothes that affirm your femininity for the first time, I hope you're having a blast and that your dress has pockets! [Sorry for that little essay on your answer, aj]

And once again, THANK YOU

[haeyeongs]

It seems that for some of the genres we watch are complete opposites. It's so interesting see why things don't work for some vs for someone else. I love the thriller and horror genre when it comes to podcasts and audio but I get scared easily if it's visual for some reason. For kdrama horror, I watched The Guest through the gaps between my fingers. I had to watch because Kim Jae Wook and Kim Dong Wook were in it... ahhh mini Coffee Prince reunion.

Hmm maybe you'll enjoy fusion historicals since you liked Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung. I loved that drama too. It was definitely a modern story in a historical setting as you said perfectly, it's a nice gateway into sagueks. The Crowned Clown can get really political so I recommend watching it when you're more comfortable with sageuks. Other great fusion sageuks that I would recommend would be Love in the Moonlight (Park Bo Gum & Kim Yoo Jung), The King's Affection (Park Eun Bin & Rowoon), 100 Days My Prince (D.O & Nam Ji Hyun) and The Tale of Nokdu (Jang Dong Yoon & Kim So Hyun)

That's so interesting that you never finish dramas that you love. I tend to sometimes ruin dramas by spoiling myself because I have absolutely no self control.

Some of my fav tropes are

- Contract Relationship + Cohabitation: from not caring for each other to understanding each other to finally 😍 all in a small living space. Yes please!!

- Himbo + Strong Heroine... is this considered a trope? Most of the dramas that I watched recently have these types of characters and I love it.

- Friends to Lovers is a classic trope that I love. What are some of your fav and least fav tropes? If I see a character become a noble idiot, that is a huge NOPE for me. -sv (wow this was waaaaay to long... sorry for the essay)

I love getting long messages, please don't be sorry about that!!

Thank you so much for those recs!! I think I will enjoy 100 Days My Prince a lot! I remember people really loved The Tale of Nokdu when it came out as well so I'm adding this one too! 

Talking about tropes right after we've mentioned fusion sageuks is perfect timing because I don't really enjoy gender bending and it seems to be a common trope in sageuks?? I'd say the tropes I hate the most are old ones that we barely see anymore: the amnesia one and the mean/possessive mother that will be an obstacle to the couple. I can't think of any other trope I don't like right now... I'm pretty neutral to the noble idiot (sometimes I weirdly enjoy it??) but I totally get why it's annoying so many people! It's not just annoying, it's frustrating!

I love all your fav tropes!!! Friends to lovers is my favorite! It always hits right! I just really love how much tenderness there is in this trope and I like it when the characters truly know each other?? It feels very intimate and I love that! That's also why I love cohabitation. I guess I really like when there's domesticity and when people are comfortable around each other haha. I think himbo + strong heroine counts as a trope! There's indeed quite a lot of himbos in kdramas recently and I really hope it's not just a trend that will go away in a few months. We've been watching cold and mean men for so long, himbos bring so much fresh air!!! You’ve mentioned my favorite tropes so there’s only one I want to add... and it’s maybe an unpopular one? I love it when characters knew each other when they were kids??? It’s pretty much everywhere in kdramas and sometimes it’s just forced and doesn’t really add anything to the story but I like it most of the time! I don’t really know why I love it, it’s cheesy and you only see that in kdramas but there’s something so comforting about it!