#wouldnt it be funny if this is just a mental pipeline of maximising the satisfaction of feeling a like a victim
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hmmmm
#little jimmy's unpleasant times#i feel like there are two parts of my brain#and one is responsible for making me believe im the worst person alive when anything at all happens ever#and the other is responsible for trying to blame everyone else for me feeling that way#n just. making it everybody else's problem#and like. i think ive gotten better at understanding when any of these two are active#and not causing shit to everyone else because of this#but at the same time im incredibly curious Why thats something i do#What does such an impulse serve? For whose benefit is this?#hm#i guess its a manifestation of two of my main traits . Feelings of Worthlessnes & Desire to Hurt Others#(<the latter is not Literally that its a bit more specific but i dont know how to describe it)#though im still not sure whats the reason for this .#hmm#wouldnt it be funny if this is just a mental pipeline of maximising the satisfaction of feeling a like a victim#wouldnt it be so funny#what are you even trying to achieve with this. hello ??#scratches head . fun fact every non-vague vent post ive made is these two's work#a lot of the times i just go “Hey. Why am I doing this” and delete everything ive said#and just vaguely hint at the fact that im not feeling good because i realize that this would be the better option#including this one . but also it would be at least somewhat informative if anyone sees it at all#so yknow. if i ever act like an ass about something miniscule now you know why i suppose👍
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