#would that have been enough in the late 80's do you think? how wild were things then? anyway

[wreckedhoney]

couple more headcanons. even though the model is largely referred to as "henry," i do think we see marie first in the start of the game. the whistling man at the start versus who we know is henry have differences in body language, and there's a decent chance that also reflects their kill styles.

both are theatrical in different ways, marie more playful and light-footed, leaning into being creepy and quiet until she strikes. the pose in the beginning is a bit more closed-in on itself, like she wants the victim to think they might just be seeing things at first until she's more obvious. and the head tilt! i fully want to believe marie taunts her victims by acting a little cute first. "what's the matter, you look like you've seen a ghost," so on so forth, as she does with jason.

at the end of the game, henry is heavy, brutish, and almost immediately makes a point to splay himself out. less stealth and a different kind of playful, still aiming to intimidate but making no effort to be creepy or sneaky about it past the objective of trapping his target in a room. the threat is less dangling over someone until it's too late, and more in-your-face and immediate. with how henry handles maurice and murphy, i think he's more adept at showing and using simple brawn.

[sexybabystevie]

Hi! I'm rather new to your channel because I saw your Steve x sarcastic reader HCs and I absolutely LOVED them they were so, so good and you're extremely talented at making HCs and I wanted to add my own into the mix as well.

Rose 🌹 – Red roses symbolize romance, love, and courage. Send me a short description of yourself, including things you enjoy doing, and your desired character to receive a headcanon on how they would confess their feelings to you!

My desired character is going to be a little bit tricky because I have two ST loves of my life but because you just did a Steve one I think I'm going to pick Eddie.

So hi! I'm a little bit more of a socially awkward type, I tend to be really introverted but once you get to know me I'm insanely sunshine-y and happy. I tend to really love reading books especially Stephen King or fantasy novels, Lord Of The Rings has been a huge part of my life since I was in middle school and my parents finally deemed me old enough to watch the live action films with them. I also am obsessed with film, I love rewatching the same movies over and over again. I love studying film, my parents have this running joke where I can figure out the plot of any show and for the most part be right on the money every single time *they're always like wtf are you magical or something every time it happens*. I'm also utterly in love with musical theater cast albums as well and could probably talk for hours endlessly about my favorite ones. My music taste is a really intense mesh of 80's pop, rock, and metal music as of recently. It was actually due to Eddie that I explored metal music and found affection for it in the first place.

Thank you for listening! I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with

A/n: Thank you so much for the kind words!! I'm so happy you liked my other headcanons! <3 I have to say that this is the first time I'm writing for Eddie, so I hope that I do his character justice! (And that you enjoy!) And, I’m also so sorry this took so long! You caught me right between the time that I was in the process of moving to and starting college, so things have been pretty hectic since then! Thank you so much for your patience!

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Song of Sunshine

Eddie Munson x Sunshine!Reader

Tags and Warnings: No Warnings, Soft!Eddie Munson, Friends to Lovers, Headcanons, Sunshine!Reader, Implied Love Confessions, Pure Fluff, Dorky!Eddie Munson.

Word Count: 3010

He hadn’t meant to, but Eddie Munson had been eyeing you for a while; you were someone of great mystery to him. He was familiar with almost every face in Hawkins High, having dealt with some of them for far too many excruciatingly long years, and yet yours is one that’s on his mind more often as of late. He’s been scanning the lunchroom on the daily, keeping his eyes out for any new recruits for Hellfire, and something in his gut keeps pointing him in your direction, his gaze always lingering a little longer on you than at any of the others. 

If he’s being honest with himself, he’s tired of seeing the same painfully mundane, averagely boring kids each and every day – none of them really having that spark, that potential that he’s been searching for – so he’s almost giddy when he sees you sitting alone at a lunch table, nose buried between the pages of The Lord of the Rings. Instantly his mind is ringing, thoughts scattering because he feels like you’re a light at the end of the tunnel – someone with the kind of creativity and interests that would fit in perfectly with Hellfire – and as much as he wants to rush up to you to ask if you’ll join his club, he’s still a little hesitant. There’s an almost shy nature about you, bashful and timid like a wild bunny, and while he finds it endearing, he also is aware enough that he shouldn't startle you and disrupt your peace. 

So, instead, he waits. He waits for probably too long, because it’s been about a week and you’ve moved on from The Lord of the Rings and are now reading Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He thinks it’s certainly an interesting choice – despite his somewhat intimidating style of dress, he certainly isn’t one that handles horror easily. Especially horror novels; he only half paid any attention to a short story that one of his teachers read aloud in one of his many English classes, and he was so disturbed that he nearly didn’t sleep for days afterward. Hell, he can’t lie, there have been D&D sessions that he’s been to that he’s nearly pissed his pants over. To say that his imagination is overactive – so active that reading anything remotely grotesque has him shuddering and feeling nauseous – would be an understatement. Movies, he can somewhat handle, what��s shown on screen is tame compared to what he could conjure with his mind, but anything even mildly scary in book form is a no-go. 

That’s part of the reason that he stalls again, face scrunched up in thought as he look intently at you. Something about you has him feeling sheepish; all he can seem to do is marvel and wonder about you from afar. He knows the younger members of Hellfire – Mike, Lucas, and Dustin – have noticed his thoughtfully awkward glances, meaning his time before they undeniably make some witty comments is running thin. He knows he needs to say something before someone catches him staring and wrongfully assumes he’s being a creep like half of the guys in Hawkins High tend to be, but he feels frozen in time, a wistful statue caught in a moment of hesitance.

He’s so preoccupied with his thoughts that he barely registers the bell ringing and the horde of students that meander along to their next class. He’s not fully aware of his surroundings as he stands and takes his plastic tray over to the garbage can, and he’s definitely not on planet Earth as he accidentally steps on the back of his own shoe, sending him pummeling right into the back of someone who seems oddly familiar. Someone who he thinks he should be able to instantly recognize, someone whose mere outline is something he should have engrained into his mind, and all too quickly they’re turning their head and he gets a glimpse of the cover art for Pet Sematary and – oh, shit. It’s you.

This isn’t how he expected to introduce himself to you, with his hands grasping at your shoulders and his face inches away from the back of your neck as he tries not to tumble the two of you into the disgusting cafeteria floor, and he feels both like laughing and cursing himself for his inattentiveness. At the sight of you, however – wide, nervous eyes and bashful smile – Eddie’s completely drawing a blank. You’re looking at him with polite inquisition, questioning and uncertain but in a gentle manner, and he can’t even begin to imagine what’s on your mind. He has a reputation that precedes him; school-proclaimed ‘Freak,’ a thought that almost has him cringing. Normally, when he’s in his element – talking with his friends, managing the Hellfire Club, playing D&D – he doesn’t care less about what some pretentious teenagers think of him, but right now, he can’t deny the rush of anxiety that hits him like a wave on the beach. He’s been thinking of this moment for days, of how to talk to you so that you think he’s cool, and messing it up feels close to that same kind of humiliation that he vowed to throw away when kids relentlessly teased him for being different in the early years of middle school. 

Still, he trusts you and your awesome and somewhat intimidating taste in novels, and he must really be caught on the idea of that because he’s suddenly blurting out, “I wouldn’t have ever pinned you as the type for horror.”

He immediately feels regret – who is he to try and say something about your personality? He’s barely been aware of your existence prior to this week and God, he feels really stupid, until your soft voice breaks through to him.

“And you’re not?” It’s quiet in the chaos of the lunchroom, shrouded in shyness but also holds hints of something else, something more familiar. Something he’s used to hearing from his friends, that’s kind and a little playful, and then he realizes that you’re not only trying to make friendly conversation – you’re giving him a chance! – but you’re also attempting a little joke. Albeit, it is a tad awkward with the tone you’re using, but he doesn’t mind at all. He actually thinks it’s quite cute, although he doesn’t spend too much time reeling on that thought.

“Definitely not,�� he says, and he finds himself shocked as how easily he’s telling the truth. Most people he knows would have lied, either to have more of something to relate to or to create a false sense of self, but he doesn’t feel the need to. There’s a kindness, a curiosity in your eyes that has him wondering if you’ve been stealing glances at him for days like he has. “I’m more of the adventure-fantasy type guy.”

The words have barely fell from his lips and you’ve already got a low-burning fire behind your eyes, the excitement that he previously saw secondhand now coming forward. He smiles softly to himself; the spark.

“Really?” you ask, voice a little louder, more incredulous. The rays of passion peek behind the clouds of your timidity, and it’s obvious that you find it hard to bite back an agape expression. 

“Yeah!” Eddie exclaims, as if his answer is the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe it is. “The only time I ever really cared enough to show for English class was when we read The Lord of the Rings.” 

His words are like gasoline, setting your already simmering demeanor aflame, the former introversion suddenly thrown out the window. Your features are bright, eyes glittering with interest. A bright smile overtakes you, covering you like a thinly veiled blanket, and you look so surprised and enthusiastic that you’re standing on your tip toes, bouncing softly on the pads of your feet. Your exhilaration is highly contagious, worse than the time Hawkins closed down the schools a few years ago because over half of the student population had the flu, and Eddie doesn’t fight the way his mouth automatically widens its grin to match yours. As if he could, anyway.

You trudge back to class together, replying to one another with elevated voices that earn a few annoyed glances from your teachers, and while neither of you are even aware of it in the moment, this is the start of something new, unbidden as a rose petal among the concrete, but not unwelcome. When Eddie finally gathers up his courage and asks you if you’ll tag along at the next Hellfire meeting – as a bystander so you can decide if you want to really join in and start making your character next week during your lunch break – you say yes with a smile sweet as honey, and just like that, your futures have been interwoven.

As Eddie expects, your “tryout,” as the younger children of Hellfire have so intelligently deemed it, goes amazingly. You’re already forming a character and their backstory, spewing intricate details to him as he drives you home. He doesn’t even have to ask if you’re coming to their meeting next Saturday; the gleam in your eyes already answered his silent question the moment that the group continued their game. You hadn’t even had all of the context and you were still watching in awe, shoes excitedly tapping against the floor as you “watched the magic happen,” as Eddie said. He wasn’t wrong; your creative and wandering mind easily was captivated the second that he began recalling where exactly the players had left off last time. 

You show to Saturday’s meeting, and the following Saturday’s, and you even go to Mike Wheeler’s dusty basement – which everyone made sure to let you know wasn’t mandatory – to retrieve some old character sheets on an early Monday morning during your autumn break. Even Mike, the kid whose house they were digging through, complained about having to get up to help find his own precious pages, but you hopped right into Eddie’s van without hesitation or resistance, only thing carried with you being a sleepy grin. 

Turns out, you make an interesting addition to their group. Your enthusiasm and cheeriness – regardless of the situation – is unmatched, and the contrast between the group before and after you’ve arrived is grand. You always shout out unique suggestions, make references to your favorite novels and movies, and you never fail at being a carrier for glee. One small gasp of excitement from you is all it takes for your energy to bleed through to everyone else; some of the other members, like Mike and occasionally Dustin, feign mock annoyance at how easily everyone is swayed by you, but it never seems genuine. If it ever verges too close to hurtful territory, Eddie shoots them a harsh glare as a warning and they back off, which you always find amusing. You know that, out of the two of you, Eddie’s the least likely to hurt even a caterpillar. 

It’s not long before the two of you are spending insane amounts of time together, including outside of school and Hellfire. Sometimes he comes over to your place and you sit outside together, toes in the soft grass as you catch each other up on everything going on in your lives – not that there’s ever that much you have to fill him in on; you’re practically attached at the hip when you can be. Other times you hang out in your living room, rewatching some of your favorite films while raiding your snack cabinet. Some of Eddie’s favorite moments are these; when he’s sitting next you, arm lazily rest upon the back of the couch, close enough to you that you can feel the warmth of his skin without touching, and he can watch you vividly talk about your analysis of specific scenes in the films. Witnessing your raw, glowing passion has his chest swelling with admiration.

On the weekends when conflicting schedules cancel Hellfire meetings – which isn’t often, as being present and an active participant are Eddie’s most valued expectations – you frequent an old, run-down theatre in downtown Hawkins together. The tickets are cheap, there are rarely any other viewers, and the employees there either have a preference for older films or they can’t afford to purchase many from this decade. Regardless, it’s always a good time. With no one else around to tell you to be quiet, you’re giggling at Eddie’s cheesy jokes and making a few of your own. 

There’s this one thing you can do – he calls it your “Wicked Movie Vision” – and it blows his mind every time it happens. You have this infallible ability to predict the plotlines, and the outcomes of said plotlines, of any movie you see. You insist that it’s not that difficult, that it’s only a matter of understanding popular tropes and knowing what to look for in the subtext, but it never fails to leave him in gaping awe. He likes to brag about it to the rest of your friend group, and he’s ever-persistent about how cool it is, despite their often lackluster attitudes towards it.

One Friday afternoon, when neither of you had any other plans, Eddie surprisingly called you on on the phone and sounded a bit more nervous than usual. It was barely there, a twinge of awkwardness, but was still noticeable to your observant ears. 

“Hey, it’s your favorite leader of Hellfire,” he greets, drawing out the syllables in his first and last words, making you laugh. You neglect to mention that he’s technically the only leader of Hellfire; you let him have his little moments. “So uh, I know you don’t have anything planned tonight since we talked about it yesterday... Do you wanna come over? I can pick you up and we can hang out for a while?”

You have the feeling that he’s holding back some words; something tells you that he has some other reason for inviting you over, but you still smile and nod, verbally expressing your agreement when you realize that you’re not, in fact, currently visible to your friend. 

Eddie comes to pick you up as usual, despite you saying that you’re fine with walking the short distance between your houses, and you start to feel a tad bit nervous. You don’t typically visit Eddie’s house often – your place is the usual hangout spot for you two – and you’re a little worried you might do something silly or disrespectful on accident. 

Of course, you have nothing to worry about. The two of you talk excitedly in the car just like usual, and Eddie admits that he wants to show you something that he wrote for his band. You’ve been to a few Corroded Coffin practices, forever cheering him on in the audience, and it’s actually due to him that your music taste started developing more towards the kinds of songs that he likes and creates. You’ve never said it outright, but you enjoy the music a lot more just because it reminds you so much of him.

When you walk into Eddie’s trailer and take a tentative seat on an extra chair, watching as he leaves the room and mutters on about something to do with his guitar, you can’t help but notice that the smidge of tension from before is back. You’re starting to wonder if something may be wrong, but you don’t have much time to reel on it before he’s returning with his beloved instrument.

“You ready?” he asks, ghost of anxiety within his upturned smirk. You nod, and his fingers begin to strum at his guitar strings.

The melody starts out a little slow, almost tentative, but then it picks up and you can tell that’s where a beat drop from the drums would typically be. Everything shifts, and the tempo speeds up and becomes more intense. He’s closing his eyes as he plays, feet tapping and head bobbing, and you can tell that he’s really put his heart and soul into this song. 

It’s over almost too quickly, leaving you wishing that you could somehow have a mixtape made of only that song repeated so that you could listen to it forever, and your closest friend is looking to you, silently waiting for your reaction. The hesitancy in his eyes fades away when you beam at him and go on and on about how much you loved it, recalling specific moments that really struck you as your favorite, and, as it’s sure to do, your admiration and eagerness pass unto him. 

He’s so touched, so utterly appreciative and happy that you liked it so much, that he doesn’t stop himself from admitting, “I wrote it when I was thinking about you.”

You’re stunned into silence, never having expected that such a masterpiece was written in your honor. Quite truthfully, no one else had ever done something so intimate for you before, and that certainly didn’t help with your overwhelmed quietude. You’re caught up in your thoughts, wondering exactly what he means by that because you certainly know what it sounds like, and the soft blush across his cheekbones seems to answer your question for itself.

You subconsciously scoot closer to him, knee softly knocking against his, and your hand reaches out to rest upon his forearm almost on its own accord. His arm is warm against your palm, shirt atop his skin soft and thin, and his eyes shoot over to yours in pleasant surprise. 

“Will you play it for me again?” you ask, toothy smile gleaming up at him, and who is he to deny you? Truthfully, he couldn’t say no to you even if he wanted to. 

With a goofy, almost timid smile, and an almost whispering of “’Course I will,” Eddie Munson’s fingers pluck the first few notes of the song that he wrote as he was falling in love with you.

[heavenbarnes]

PLEASE STAND BY: Feel it in the air tonight

Wanda Maximoff x female reader

Warning/Contains: spoilers for “WandaVision”, aspects of mind-control meaning reader isn’t truly consenting, parts of this don’t make sense and are designed to make you feel strange, cheating, oral sex, dirty talk

Word Count: 3.7k

the 80′s are upon us and things are starting to change, are you willing to feel strange for a while? hmm, anyhow, hope you are all still enjoying! x

MASTERLIST

“You boys just keep getting bigger every time I see you,” You cooed, hands going to ruffle the twins hair. “Swear you were just up to my knees last time I saw you both.”

Tommy and Billy both laugh despite the way they wiggled out of your reach, running back to whatever fracas they were causing in the kitchen.

“Kids, you take your eyes off ‘em for a second and suddenly they’re a whole different person!”

Looking to Agnes knowingly, you couldn’t help but nod in agreement as you made your way further into the house. She was making herself right at home in the Vision residence, nose in the cupboards and leaving no space uncovered.

“Is Wanda about?”

“I sure am!” That soft lilt drifted down the staircase and right before you, your smile immediately growing.

Your cheeks prickled in heat as you weren’t sure how to get the next words out. Looking out from under your brows, you shot Wanda a shy little gaze that only said coquettish to her.

“Agnes, would you be so kind as to get the boys to their uh-”

“Their swim lessons?” The neighbor filled in, already rounding up the kids with their things.

“Yes! Thank you!” Wanda gave the boys a kiss each as she walked them to the door. “I owe you big time!”

Agnes turned back over her shoulder as they made their way out. “Not a worries, you gals have fun.”

There was no way she could’ve known, but that little wink she threw you both, it both frightened and excited you. Knowing that she might know what you were getting up to in your day-to-days.

The door shutting broke your swirling thoughts, your mind only going straight to Wanda as she stood before you. Her eyes scanned your face, coming down to take in your outfit, too. You’d only thrown on cycle shorts and a sweater but she was eyeing you up as if you were wearing nothing at all.

She cleared the space between you so quickly, wrapping you up in her touch to press your lips against hers. Steadily walking you backwards, her hands ran the length of your back and up to cup your face, teeth nibbling gently at your lower lip.

“You get even sweeter every time I see you.” Her comment drew a giggle from you, your hands coming to thread through her curls.

She wasted no time with you, backing you towards the dining table and pushing you up onto it. Leaning towards you, her lips continued to move sweetly with your own, her taste and tongue taking over you entirely. You almost missed the way her fingers started at the waist band of your shorts.

Not wasting time with removing your chunky sneakers either, she pulled your bottoms to your ankles and slotted into the space between your legs, kneeling before you. It was all moving so quickly, your heart rate was rising with every touch she left against you.

Fingers gripping your thighs, lips pressing against the soft skin that grew from there, Wanda smiled up at you like the cat who got the cream. Brushing a few stray curls off her forehead, you gave her a smirk laced entirely with longing.

“You are one hot mama, mama.”

She giggled at your funny little ways, she brought her teeth to leave a gentle nip close to the meeting of your thighs. It made you jolt, and the gasp that fell from you tapered off into a moan at the end there.

Moving closer to where you knew you needed her more than anything, Wanda trailed her tongue up and along your slit as your thighs widened around her head. Tipping your own head back, you let a deep sigh drift out into the world as you felt all your muscles loosening.

Your hands dropped from her head to the edge of the table, gripping it under your fingers as her tongue came to your clit. Rolling it around, she began to find a steady movement that made your eyes roll back in your head. As your hips began to rock into her mouth, the heat in your body rose.

Wanda knew you inside and out, like she was able to read your entire being and know what was going to work. Her lips closed around your most sensitive area, suckling gently as she drew the softest and sweetest cries from you.

It always felt right, never felt greedy and never felt naughty, Wanda always made it feel like this is what you worked your whole life for. If you were good and you were kind then maybe one day you’d end up with the most beautiful girl perched between your legs.

Taking one of your hands, you threaded it back into her hair so you could tug just a bit. Doing so earnt a moan from Wanda, one that rumbled through you and ricocheted off all the right spots. Your legs tensed slightly, your hips dipping down to move against her tongue.

She drew it from your wetness back up to your clit, flickering it and pressing it against her lip to create friction. Your breaths were beginning to break like waves, choppy and wild as she took complete control over your body with simple movements of her mouth.

Gripping her tighter, you pulled her in as she sighed contently into you. Still rolling your hips like you needed it, you nearly began to ride her face in absolute bliss. It was bliss, it was heaven and it was all you ever needed in that moment.

“You feel so good, you make me feel so good, Wanda you’re-”

Pulling back from you slightly, she gripped tighter on your thighs.

“Tell me, use your words.”

Going back to her work, you were already working yourself up with every movement of your hips. Chest huffing you only just got the words out.

“Wanda you’re everything.” 

And that was all she needed, the deepest groan left her chest and her mouth only sped up, which launched you very quickly off the edge and caught you in the waves of pleasure.

They washed over you, your hands in her hair and her name on your lips. She let you ride her tongue through the overwhelming pleasure, keeping you under the water until you were entirely washed in the tide of her.

So gentle and so loving, she let you come down and to extend the gesture she pulled your bottoms back up for you. Helping you off the table, she fixed your clothes as you fixed her hair, both giggling to one another.

She kissed your cheek, before you tilted your face so she could find your lips. They closed against one another and as you opened, you could taste the sweetness of yourself lingering there.

“How about some tea?” She mumbled against you, drawing a laugh from you.

“Yes please, hot mama.” 

Gently swatting her behind as she walked past, you both smiled knowingly to one another as Wanda went to the other room.

Leaving you alone in her living room, the nosiness in you drifted you around, picking at things and getting glimpses into the Vision’s lives.

Lifting up a picture, it was lovely, the four of them all grouped together with the brightest of smiles. It reminded you of the photo on your mantle, you couldn’t remember when it was taken but you had always thought it was the most beautiful picture of James-

Cutting your thoughts was a nearly searing pain shooting behind your eyes. It made you lose your grip on the picture, the frame clattering back to the side table. Wanda came back in at the sound, mugs in hand and a look of confusion.

“Is everything okay?”

Your sweater covered your hand slightly as you brought it to your forehead, holding your head gently as the pain began to settle.

“I think so, I just had the worst pain right in my mind, I have no idea where it came from.”

She looked worried, ushering you closer to her as she sat the cups down. “What were you doing when it happened?”

Thinking back, you shut your eyes to take a moment. “I was just admiring your photo, thinking of my one with-”

And it unleashed itself again, the pain radiating so tight across your eyes that you sealed them shut firmly this time. The yelp that escaped your throat was enough to have Wanda really concerned now.

She grasped your hands in her arms and began to walk you. “Something doesn’t seem right, have you been feeling unwell lately?”

Truly, you cant remember. It’d been a strange few days of not remembering your dreams or even what you’d been doing just the other day, so really you weren’t sure. Nevertheless, you were sure it would be fine.

“It’s okay, Wanda, I think I just need to go home.” Pressing your palm to your forehead, the pain was beginning to ease.

“No, I really think you’ll be better if you stay here, you don’t want to be alone.” She was fluffing about now, ushering you to sit on the overstuffed sofa.

“I won’t be alone, James should-”

“Here!” Like her voice ran away on her, it came out a tad sharp. “Here is best for the moment.”

The pain eased even further and suddenly you were overcome with the idea that this was certainly the best place for you to be. Wanda’s hands eased across your shoulders and squeezed gently, further allowing the tension to melt from you.

“There have been the strangest things going on as of late, if everyone would just take it easy for a moment.” Her voice wavered only slightly as she also began to calm herself.

“You’re right, things have been a little strange-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Vision came through the front door with your husband in tow. “Look who I found milling about!”

You could’ve sworn you heard Wanda sigh, and not a tired sigh, it was tinged with annoyance. She let go of your shoulders, allowing you to get up and round the sofa to James. Following you, she gave Vision a quick kiss on the lips, but you missed the way her eyes bored into the back of your head.

If looks could kill you would’ve dropped dead the minute James scooped you up into his arms and laid his lips against yours. So warm and so all consuming, you lent further into him with your hands balled in the lapels of his blazer.

“Wanda, honey, are you feeling alright?” Turning your head at Vision’s voice, it all happened so quickly.

You saw her hands move, the faint red glow, but before you could ask her what on Earth was going on, you felt the ground move beneath your feet.

James slipped from your grasp, suddenly you felt the wool of Vision’s suit in your hands, tall stature dipping slightly to press his lips against yours. One of your hands lifted to slip into the strands of blonde hair, smooth against your touch.

“What, no, no.” You heard Wanda’s voice before the shift started again.

Agnes’ dark curls slipped through your fingers as her lips moved against your own. She pulled you in tighter by your waist, holding you flush against her chest as your other hand fisted her shirt.

“Why can’t I just-”

The pain eased even further and suddenly you were overcome with the idea that this was certainly the best place for you to be. Wanda’s hands eased across your shoulders and squeezed gently, further allowing the tension to melt from you.

“Your hands really are magic, Wanda.” You cooed as your body fell into the warmth of her touch.

The sound of feet bounding down the stairs snapped both your heads towards the noise, happy calls from the boys of “dad’s home dad’s home!”

Followed by the door opening, Vision stepped across the threshold with a smile, enveloping his son’s in a hug before offering both you and his wife a kind grin. As Wanda moved to great her husband, you also followed them to the doorway.

“I think this means I better get dinner on!” You laughed, giving everyone little waves. “Meatloaf to be made!”

Wanda’s face wasn’t sad, maybe just a little tired. She waved you off nonetheless like the rest of her family and said her goodbyes for the night.

-

Wrapping your knuckles against the door, you rocked on your heels as you waited for the joy of your morning. Just seeing Wanda’s smiling face as she opens the door is enough to see you right for the rest of your day. 

Door swinging open and smile already growing on your face, it didn’t so much as drop, it just stalled for a moment.

“Well good morning to me,” Fingers brushed back silver hair and shoulder rested on the doorframe. “Please, tell me this isn’t a dream.”

You quirked a brow before you tilted back a tad, checking you had stepped up to the right house. Sure enough, 2800 looked back at you and you looked back at the young man with a bright grin and cropped sweatshirt.

“Is Wanda home?” You gave him a ginger smile, nervously twiddling your fingers in the hem of your shirt.

Eyes still fixed on you, he lent back further into the house. “Sis, there’s an absolute babe here looking for you!”

Trying your best to ignore the wink he shot you, you let the word sis tick over in your brain. You didn’t think Wanda had ever mentioned a brother to you before, but maybe you’d forgotten, a few things had slipped your mind as of late.

“Let her in, she’s our neighbor!”

You couldn’t miss the way your cheeks heated at that, how she knew who he meant by just that little comment. It made your heart tweak a little, but you had to push it down as Wanda’s brother stepped to the side to let you in.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” You gave him a kind little smile, watching the way he came to rest beside you against the back of the couch.

“I’m Pietro, Wanda’s twin brother.”

“Twin?”

“Twin, fraternal and everything.”

He turned towards you slightly whilst you nodded intently. Your eyes flickered to the stairs, waiting for Wanda to come down, but there didn’t seem to be any sight of her. “And what are you doing in little old Westview?”

You were a little delayed in turning back to him, eyes still fixed waiting on Wanda, but you turned back nonetheless. “Sorry?”

“What brought you here?”

“Oh, uh,” You thought for a moment. “I think it was just the security of the neighborhood.”

Nodding along with you, you could’ve sworn he moved in closer. “Well I might have to park up here too, if the neighbors look like you.”

You could feel the flames rising behind your cheeks, but once against you quashed it down. “You’re very kind.”

“And you’re very pretty.”

Now that was forward, you turned fully this time to look him right in the eye. “Sorry?”

“I mean, I’m sure you know that, you still look the same.”

That comment sort of got lost on you, you were still reeling just a bit from the entire situation. Getting up off the back of the couch, you turned to stand in front of him.

“What are you getting at? What’s your motive?”

His lips quirked into a smile, brow dropped and you knew there was something coming. You didn’t know where this man found all his confidence, but he sure as hell wasn’t taking it easy on you.

But that doesn’t mean you were expecting his next move.

“Come on, give me a kiss.” Pietro’s hands came to gently grasp your wrists, turning you to face him.

“Excuse me! I have a husband.”

“Ah, so it’s not cause you don’t want to it’s cause- wait, who’s your husband?”

Shooting him a look of confusion, you shook your head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“James, we’re married?” Drawing out your words, you came in loud and clear.

Regardless, Pietro still quirked his brow. “No you’re not.”

“Yes we are, we’ve been married for- well I don’t remember but we are.”

“No,” He stressed. “You’re not, I knew Bucky had a crush on you but he hasn’t even asked you out, let alone popped the question.”

And there was that feeling, becoming awfully familiar as it washed over you once again. It was like waking up, except you weren’t in your bed, you were standing in a room that you had no recollection of getting to. To put it simply, you woke up to find you were crawling in your skin.

“Bucky,” Your voice nearly fell apart at the seems. “And I’m-”

“Agent 19,” Pietro filled in your blanks. “You’re a team, never one without the other, yada yada yada.”

That tight feeling in your chest, that wrapping around your heart and tugging the near life out of it, it was so consuming. You looked to him for anything, but he just shrugged his shoulders, eyes traveling to the doorway.

“And what is going here?” You heard her sing song voice before you saw her, he knew she was coming.

This could be your moment, your moment to play the game of “nothing is wrong” and play your upper hand. Every part of you wanted to turn to her with that beaming smile and bat your eyelashes, but the pounding in your chest- the carnal feeling that always existed in you, that was stronger than your reserve.

“I don’t know Wanda!” Spinning on your heel, you faced her dead on. “Why don’t you tell me, seen as you seem to know a damn sight more about my life than I do.”

You’d never seen her look like that before, you’d seen her cast with discontent when something like this had began to fall apart. But this look, she almost seemed to be afraid?

Mouth opening and closing a couple times, Wanda scoffed as she spoke. “Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know!” You felt Pietro grasp your waist as you nearly lunged forward. “I don’t know where anything is coming from, I don’t know where this life came from!”

Wanda shook her head, hands going to her hips to tut at her brother. “Pietro, you’ve upset her.”

That anger that was steadily unraveling inside of you, so coiled up from being held down by smiles and laugh tracks, it nearly drowned you as it all came to the surface.

“Why don’t you ever call me by a name?” 

Your question had caught her off guard, but with easy deflection she clipped a laugh towards it.

“Forgive me for having pet-names.”

“No, tell me what my name is.”

“You know your own name-”

“NO I DON’T!”

For all you thought about her, she’d never seen you like this. Your whole body raised up as it all spilled out of you, untapped rage tumbling from your lips as you willed your eyes not to well with tears.

Wanda somehow found composure, shut her mouth and once again, shook her head in your face. “You’ve lost sight of yourself, this is obviously all too much.”

You saw her hands, the way her fingers poised with palms turned together. If Pietro hadn’t had a hold on you, you weren’t sure what would’ve unleashed from you.

“No, don’t you dare change the scene on me, I am sick and tired of you changing the scene when you get upset,” Crying out, your voice cracked only slightly, despite yourself. “You don’t know what it does to my [CENSORED] brain!”

Hearing the sound fall from your lips, knowing you didn’t make it, you’d never felt pain like that in your life. “And now you’re censoring me?”

Maybe he could feel you move beneath his hands, maybe he could just hear it in your voice, but Pietro pulled you back into himself. “Wanda, sis, you might want to give her a break-”

“What is happening?” Your husband, or your partner, or Bucky- Bucky came in from off stage.

In a strange sort of turn-of-events, Vision trailed in behind him, confusion just as evident across his features. He looked to Wanda, but just as quickly he was looking to you with a hint of question behind his eyes.

Shooting Bucky a look, dead in the eye and as straight as you could, there was a feeling that there was one shot at this. “Bucky, please.”

And that was all it took, you could see the light change in his eyes, the way his features softened but the rest of his body straightened in an instant. You weren’t immune to the way his eyes dropped to Pietro’s grasp on you as he scanned the area.

“Oh my goodness,” Wanda threw her hands in the air, once again shaking her head. “Everyone just cool it!”

“My dear, what has been going on? They seem upset.” Vision had that signature lilt, the tone of a man who has began walking on eggshells.

“No, I cannot believe this!” She took a turn, facing you all in an instant. “I will not be told what to do in my own reality!”

The unravel in your chest stopped, and soon you realized you’d given yourself enough rope. “Stop, please just-”

“Come on, give me a kiss.” Pietro’s hands came to gently grasp your wrists, turning you to face him.

“Excuse me! I have a husband.”

"And that’s my cue!” Your man called out as he poked his head through the door and with a chuckle, he began to cross the small space to you both.

“Here he is now,” Your arm looped around his waist as you pulled him close, your eyes both catching in a tight stare. “How nice of you to join us, Bucky.”

-

“I think we’ve done it, I think they’ve made enough headway.”

Regardless of the progress that’d just unfolded, soon those same technicolor bars spread across the screen.

“If they just stay this strong, they stay together then they might just be able to take control of this too.”

Tapping a pen against the screen, those tell-all letters glowed before them.

“PLEASE STAND BY.”

[beardedmrbean]

Weird question but I figured you would know better than most. Some states had trigger laws that kicked into effect almost right after the Supreme Court made their decision. Are these states predominantly populated by voters who agree with abortion limitations? Are these put into place by elected officials? Or is this sort of forced upon people of the state without their approval? I know ads in California make it clear what the position of abortions are… I was wondering if it was the same for other states.

Likely going to be different on a state by state basis as to how they got on the books, I think it was Michigan that had one on the books from 100 years or so ago which is wild because really wasn't much of a thing then.

I could be wrong about that too.

Most of them are going to be laws that the different state legislatures put into play though.

In the red states it's one of those things that people would pledge to do so they could get elected,

even if they're pro choice because it's not like Roe is actually gonna get overturned, this is to make my constituents happy, wait what do you mean it's happened

Also probably quite a few that have been on the books since the initial ruling, much easier to get anti abortion laws put into place back then, even through the 80's you could get the general population to vote on that probably get enough to amend the state constitution in some cases.

Go back to the 80's and see our senile old fart in chief Biden standing against abortion, it was still a partisan issue but less so than now.

So there's a whole bunch of ways they've gotten put into place, I'm guessing when the brief was leaked there were quite a few people in different state governments looking to see what their status would be if Roe went poof probably some surprised by it too.

Not gonna manage to put something like this to the electorate (people) and get the big W, all the work to destigmatize the procedure through the late 80's and 90's have made that next to impossible.

So the more recent ones at least were likely put into place by the elected representatives state senators and such, older ones too possibly but those could have gone to a people vote as well.

___________

I missed this line from you

Are these states predominantly populated by voters who agree with abortion limitations?

Think I covered that pretty well already, but for the sake of clarity.

No, they aren't, probably were at one point but you'll be pretty hard pressed to find somewhere where you could manage over 50% of the popular vote for something like that these days.

It's like marijuana legalization in reverse for that.

_______________________

My brain went all adhd on me so I hope this makes sense scattered random thoughts as they are.

[let-it-raines]

I Hope We Never See October (5/?)

When his personal life and football career go up in flames, Killian Jones escapes England for America, finding seclusion in Martha’s Vineyard in order to hide from his demons. It’s a fresh start, or at the very least a paused moment in his life, and all he needs is a few months alone to allow his heart to heal. He doesn’t count on meeting Emma Swan.

Emma’s life depends on tourists who come to the island every summer. It’s how she makes her money working in restaurants and clubs across the vineyard, but every year, she cannot wait until autumn comes and her life returns to normal. She especially cannot wait for Killian Jones to leave.

Rating: Mature

ao3 : beginning | current

tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

-/-

Emma likes seafood.

She likes seafood, but she mostly eats like a ten-year-old boy. Apparently, there’s a little place near her house called Granny’s where she devours grilled cheese and onion rings like arteries aren’t a thing. It makes him laugh when she tells him because she eats how he’s always dreamed of eating. The only time he ever gets the chance is when he’s with his nieces and they convince him to get them food Elsa and Liam never let them get.

She also likes 80’s music, has been working at the Blue Dog for over half a decade, prefers her kickboxing classes to cycling ones, and her favorite color is blue.

That last one was a bit of a throwaway question, but he asked it anyway. Then, of course, he made sure to let her know that his eyes were blue. He got an eye roll and a ‘shut up’ for that before she started rolling her hips again. It was damn distracting, but he didn’t stop laughing at how frustrated she was that he wasted his one personal question a day on that.

One personal question a day.

It’s childish, but he thinks it works. It keeps the line between them defined. He knows what this is, has done it enough times before to not be blind to it. They’re both visitors in each other’s lives. They have expiration dates, and when there’s an expiration date, there’s no harm in spending time together.

There’s no commitment, so there’s no hurt.

He’s not an expert on Emma Swan, no matter how much she fascinates him, but he gets the feeling she’s avoiding relationships just as much as he is. There is a past hurt there, a damned painful one, and if anyone gets that, it’s him.

But he doesn’t ask about that in his one question a day. He asks for her favorite color and food and if she’d rather hike uphill for 10 miles or swim for 20.

For the record, she’d rather hike because she could sit down and eat along the way.

“Would you look at that?” Emma says as she runs her hands under the water of the sink at the bar. “You, sitting at this bar, again.”

He slices his salmon with his knife and grins. “I tried that Granny’s place, but the food had too much grease. Met a rather charming waitress, though.”

“Let me guess. Red streak in her hair, boobs on full display, argued with the owner the entire time?”

“How’d you know?”

“Because that’s Ruby, my best friend.”

“Is she now?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“Is that your personal question of the day?”

“Nope,” he says, taking a bite of his food. “I’m saving that for a later time.”

“A later time,” Emma repeats, like she’s considering the words. She crosses her arms over her chest and leans back against the bar. “What makes you think you’re going to be seeing me at a later time? This isn’t enough for you?”

He looks around them and leans closer to her. “Too many clothes.”

Emma laughs, legitimately, and that feels surprisingly good. “I’m literally in a tank top and shorts. That’s about as dressed down as you can get.”

“I was talking about myself, actually. There are too many clothes on me, but it’s nice to know you think so highly of yourself.”

That gets him another laugh and a shake of her head, and he likes that too. He may have no real inclination to become overly attached to her, but he can at least admit to himself that he enjoys her company.

“Shut up.” Someone calls Emma’s name from across the restaurant, and she holds her arm up, putting up one finger. “I get off at The Oaks at eleven. I’ll drop by your place if I’m not too tired.”

“Why the hell are you working there so much?”

“I like the money. And, Jones, that counts as your personal question of the day. I’ll see you later...maybe.”

She grins and winks before walking away, and he swears she puts a little extra sway in her hips. Killian shakes his head as he feels his own smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What a bloody woman,” he whispers to himself before spearing another piece of his salmon.

-/-

“Right there,” she moans. “Like, seriously, right there. Don’t fucking change anything.”

Kilian smiles against her, but he’s quick to return to what he was doing. Emma’s legs tighten over his shoulders, her hands yank at the sheets, and as much as he is throbbing right now, it’s bloody glorious to have her like this. The filter is gone, so too are the reservations, and he gets a bit of satisfaction knowing this is him doing this to her.

His only skills aren’t on the football pitch after all.

He is definitely a bastard for thinking that right now, but he’s never claimed to be otherwise.

“Fuck,” Emma huffs after she comes down from her high. Her legs shiver over his shoulder, thighs tightening so all the sounds fade for a moment, but then her legs fall and all sounds come back in screaming color. “What did I do to deserve that so early in the morning?”

“It’s ten, love.”

“Yeah, that’s early on my day off.”

Killian laughs and kisses the inside of Emma’s thigh before making his way up her body, planting a final one underneath her collarbone before he collapses on his side of the bed and pulls the sheets above his waist.

“It’s not early for the rest of the world.” He smiles, which she doesn’t appreciate, and she sinks further into the bed, yanking the covers over her. He can still see her flushed cheeks and the slightest content smile on her face. “You should try it sometime. See the sunrise, dodge early morning joggers, eat breakfast at a normal time.”

“Trust me, I’m usually up early enough to want to drive into the early morning joggers while I have a Pop Tart hanging out of my mouth. My summer schedule is just...it’s different than usual.”

He has questions about that. It’s something she’s alluded to before, but he doesn’t know if she’ll count that as his question of a day.

He’s thirty-five years old, and he doesn’t know if he can ask the woman he’s sleeping with more than one question about her life. He knows he’s fucked up a lot, but this seems to be the culmination of several screw ups in his own life.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on that. Well, no, he has all the time in the world, but lately, the boredom has dissipated, the loneliness too.

Lately, he’s got a damn good distraction, and he’s not about to fuck that up.

Emma flips over on her side, her hair a wild, curly mess. She used his pool last night and didn’t wash her hair after. It’s made it even crazier than usual. He thinks he likes it. Makes her seem less reserved.

His phone rings on his bedside table, and he leans over to pick it up.

“Hello, darling.” Emma’s brow raises, but he ignores her. “How are you?”

“Good,” Elsa says. “We’re all good. The girls are in the garden right now, running around and getting all their energy out. I haven’t heard from you in a few days.”

“I’ve been...busy.”

Emma’s hand finds his thigh, and his leg jumps before steadying. She is not about to do what he thinks she’s about to do. Bloody hell.

“Busy?” Elsa asks, as Emma’s hand walks a little closer to his groin. “Doing what? Have you made friends?”

“Why do you always ask me that like I’m a child?”

“Because you’re basically my baby brother.” Killian laughs and then hisses as Emma’s hand wraps around him. She smirks, obviously satisfied with herself, and he knows she’s doing it for the reaction above anything else.

Tease.

He doesn’t mind.

Except this is a poor idea.

“I believe I’m actually older than you.”

“Semantics.”

He laughs again, and Emma’s hand starts working a little more. Fuck. He needs her to stop, and even though she’s doing delicious things to him, she is looking away, acting as bored as can be. And maybe she is, but then he sees one corner of her mouth tick up.

“Mum, is that Killian?” he hears Ally ask, echoed by a squeal from Sophia, who is obviously having the time of her life. There’s a bit of a shuffle, some muted voices, and then his niece’s voice comes through. “When are you coming home?”

“Hello, Ally,” he says, his voice going high when Emma moves her thumb. “How is one of my favorite nieces doing?”

Emma immediately stops and yanks her hand away, practically falling off the bed. She catches herself and kicks up, moving the comforter up and nearly pulling it off him.

“What the actual fuck?” she whispers hisses, slapping him.

He ignores her as Ally asks again when he’s coming home.

“At the end of September, sweetheart,” he promises. “I’ll come home, and then I am going to kiss you right on the cheek.”

“Ew,” she complains, and he can imagine her nose scrunching.

“I also might give you a present.”

“I like that better.”

“Good. I thought you would.” he watches Emma get up and pull a t-shirt out of a drawer. It’s an old Man. United shirt, and he pretends that doesn’t do a damn thing to him, especially since she was just working him up a minute ago. “Listen, Ally, darling, will you hand the phone to your mum? I - ”

“Sophia, that is my hat! Do not wear it!”

And then the line goes dead, and he wonders how long it’ll be before Elsa gets back to her phone and calls him back.

“You let me do that to you while you were on the phone with your niece?” Emma mumbles, pulling the shirt down then pulling her hair into a mess of a knot on the top of her head. He’s not sure if she’s annoyed or amused. “I hate you.”

“Technically, at first it was my sister-in-law,” he corrects, tapping his head.

“That doesn’t make it any better.” Emma gets back in the bed, pulling the comforter all the way up to her chin, and then she shuffles a little further into the bed before sitting up against the headboard and groaning into her hands. “I am mortified.”

“I did stop you when Ally took the phone,” he points out before pulling at the arm of her shirt. “Nice shirt.”

Killian stands from the bed and walks toward his bathroom, grabbing his briefs along the way. “It’s comfortable,” Emma says. “Is this the team you played for?”

Killian stops, the tile cool against his feet, and then keeps moving, leaving the door cracked as he gets half dressed and starts brushing his teeth. As good as it was a few minutes ago, the mood is gone.

Especially now.

How the hell does she know he used to play football? And how long has she known that? Is that why...no, that couldn’t be why, but he knows that’s why a lot of women have.

“A long time ago,” he says, spitting out toothpaste. “I was with Chelsea when I retired.”

“Is that another team?”

“Uh, yeah,” he laughs, continuing to brush his teeth but sticking his head out of his bathroom door. “You didn’t know that?”

Emma shrugs as she types on her phone. “I don’t know anything about soccer. I only know you played because Ruby internet stalked you a few weeks ago and showed me your Instagram. I literally thought you were just one of those adults who is really into his hobbies.”

Killian nearly lets out a sigh, but he stops himself and turns back around to the sink to spit again before rinsing his brush. He looks up at the mirror. His hair is disheveled, there are lines around his eyes and on his forehead, and his stubble is growing to the point where a beard is beginning to form. He’ll shave later.

So Emma doesn’t know anything about football then. Or him, for that matter. He’s not sure he entirely believes her, that she didn’t look up any more about him, and he doesn’t like that uncertainty. Usually, when he meets someone, they have the upper hand and know the surface layer of all the dirty details of his life.

They usually don’t care to find out the real stories. Not that most of them redeem him in any way.

“Not a hobby,” he says, taming his hair with his hands. “It was a damn good job.” He leaves the bathroom and leans against the doorframe. “You ever play?”

She laughs and puts her phone down. “No.”

“Not even as a kid? Come on. I hear every lass in America plays as a kid.”

“Is that your question of the day?”

Damn. “No.” Killian walks toward the bed and puts his hands on either side of Emma’s head on the headboard, leaning in close. He sees her chest rise, and he smirks. “My question is to ask you to stay in bed with me all day. What do you say, Swan?”

She sits up, and her lips lightly brush against his mouth when she talks. “You should have asked me about the soccer because I was already planning on staying here the entire day.”

“Really now?”

“If we can get crepes delivered from this place that’s, like, ten minutes from here.”

Killian kisses her, long and slow until there’s heat simmering low in his belly. “As you wish.”

-/-

Emma doesn’t come over every night. Nor does he go to her place. But it seems that way as July rolls by, full of hot days that seem to linger forever. Killian finds himself busy during the days. Emma usually has work early in the mornings, so if she’s staying over, she leaves before eight. He doesn’t know how she has time to breathe working at both the Tavern and The Oaks, but she makes it work. When she leaves, he gets up and uses the gym in the basement of the house, going through his tried and true routines before he laces up his trainers and either runs on the beach or on the sidewalks through his little area of the vineyard. He finds the sidewalks are better for his knees, so he tends to stick with that and leaves walking on the beach for his afternoon phone calls with Elsa and the girls or Ariel and Eric.

It’s a routine, one that changes during the day, but for the first time since he got here, he doesn’t hate every damn day. He doesn’t spend his time actively having to try not drink or thinking about Liam or football. He practically buys out a local bookstore and goes through the novels faster than he has in years. He visits different restaurants, museums, goes along with some tourist activities he finds online, and he explores any shop that strikes his fancy.

And while his routine changes, there is one constant: he eats a meal at the Blue Dog Tavern.

At first, he thought Emma would kick him out for it, but now, she often comes and sits with him for a few minutes or sends him a drink from her office. He always sits in Ashley’s section and lets her talk about her growing belly even if he knows little about pregnancy, and he spends at least an hour eating and watching all the people around him.

It’s a hell of a lot better than the twenty-four-hour diners with sticky floors and bad coffee.

Killian shoves his keys in his pocket and pushes open the door to the Blue Dog. Marina greets him, telling him to seat himself anywhere in Ashely’s section, so he goes to his favorite booth and settles down. He can’t see the television from it, so it’s the perfect spot to completely escape from the world with no risk of his past showing up right before his eyes.

He may be feeling better, may be able to have a drink or too at night without wanting to have five more, but he knows he’s possibly only one bad day from it all coming undone, the thread unraveling faster than he can wind it back up.

“Tea or coffee today, Killian?” Ashley asks, notepad in hand.

“Tea, I think, but not the blasted stuff you gave me last time.”

She laughs and writes down his drink order. “Do you know what you want to eat already or should I come back?”

He hands her the menu. “The daily special and a side salad.”

“Perfect. I’ll be back with that as soon as possible.”

“No need to rush,” he says, smiling. “Is - ”

“She’s filling out orders for next week, but I’ll let her know you’re here.”

Ashley winks before walking away, and Killian wonders what the hell everyone in this restaurant thinks of him and Emma. It must be peculiar, but if he’s picked up anything from Emma, it’s that she likely doesn’t share much about her personal life with her employees. She surely won’t tell him that he’s the man she’s sleeping with for the summer, but they might pick up on that on their own.

The food here is good, but it’s not every day good.

He’s finished his salad and half of his sandwich when she comes out from the back. Today, she’s already in the black dress she wears to The Oaks, and her hair is pushed back into a ponytail. She looks exhausted, and unfortunately, the reason has nothing to do with him.

“I only have a second to say hi,” she says, sliding into the booth and grabbing a roll from the basket, breaking off a piece and popping it into her mouth. “We are having an issue with our fish orders, and it’s an absolute nightmare.”

“That sounds like I won’t be ordering any fish this week.”

Emma takes another bite of her bread. “I wouldn’t if I were you. Do you want to come to my place tonight? I’m off at ten.”

“Sure.” He picks at the bread on his sandwich. “Though, the last time I was at your place, that damn crab pillow ended up in the bed, and I didn’t appreciate that.”

Her nose scrunches with her laugh. “I hate that thing too, but Ariel loves it.”

“You live in that house the entire year. Why don’t you redecorate it for your taste?”

Her shoulders tense, and she stops chewing before slowly starting again. He already knows this is going to be his personal question of the day. Sometimes she forgets about it and lets the conversation flow freely, but when he hits a nerve, she’s more on her guard.

He gets it. He can be the same way.

“Personal question,” she says, and he knows her better than he should. “And I’ve redone my bedroom and little bits in the kitchen and living room, but I don’t know. I guess I keep it how the Fishers have it because it’s their home. There are memories there, and I don’t want to take any of those away for when I do eventually get another place. It’s....it’s good to have a family home with memories.”

Killian arches his brow, but Emma looks away, picking at the roll again. He never really had a family home, not after his mum died and his dad became obsessed with using Killian’s football skills for his own fortune, but he likes that sentiment.

A family home with memories. Good ones. That would be the dream.

“What about you?” she asks, changing the subject before he can press further. “Aren’t you excited to get back to your place where all the stuff is yours? You’re living in a place that’s not your own, so I’m sure you’re ready to get back to your family.”

She doesn’t mean anything by it, but her words cut. He’s here because he lost the one person in his family who he was closest to, but he doesn’t want to talk about that, not now. This is supposed to be a good time. It isn’t supposed to be about dark histories.

“I’m enjoying my time here,” he answers honestly. “There’s this woman who is an absolute spitfire, and she’s been occupying most of my time. I’ve been, well, metaphorically tied up in bed too much to think of returning home.”

“Ha, ha,” she monotones with a roll of her eyes. “That’s not what I - ”

“Hi!”

They both turn, and Emma’s friend Mary Margaret is standing there, bouncing back and forth on her toes. “Hi, Marg,” Emma says. “You’re early.”

“I know. I got finished tutoring early, so I thought I’d drop by. I didn’t know you’d have...other company.”

“Nice to see you again,” Killian says, nodding at Mary Margaret.

“Yeah, nice to see you.” Mary Margaret seems hesitant, like she didn’t meet him weeks ago at dinner, and he wonders just how much she knows about his arrangement with Emma. From what he’s learned, they seem close, but he also knows Ruby is Emma’s more...accepting friend. “How are you?”

“I’m good, love. Just badgering Emma at work. I’m surprised she hasn’t kicked me out yet.”

“Annoy me a little too much, and I will.” Her ankle hooks with his under the table, and Killian bites his lip to keep from smiling too much. “So, what’s up, Marg? Why’d you want to drop by? Have you heard of this thing called phones?”

Mary Margaret chuckles before sliding into the booth next to Emma. Emma’s ankle unhooks from his, and he tucks his feet under the booth. “So, you know how David wants to have that big barbecue for all of our friends and neighbors?”

“Yeah, you guys do it every year because you’re insane.”

“Anyway,” she says, playfully rolling her eyes, “we were wondering if we could get the Blue Dog to cater some of the sides. I know you guys don’t cater, but we could pay extra. Please.”

“You do know there are restaurants who do cater who could handle this?”

“Yes, but we love the food here. Killian gets it, right?”

“Uh, yes,” he mumbles, not sure what he’s supposed to say. From Emma’s death glare, he knows he’s chosen incorrectly. Bloody hell. “I love it.”

“Exactly,” Mary Margaret says. “We’ll pay extra. Promise. In tips so the staff can get it instead of the owners.”

Emma sighs and sinks into the booth, crossing her arms over her chest. “I need to know the order at least two weeks ahead of time, and it’s going to take me some time to figure out how much you guys need to pay.”

“Ahhhh, perfect!” Mary Margaret hugs Emma before sliding out of the booth. “You’re the best! I can’t wait to call David! Oh, and Killian, you should come too. It’s on August 14th. We’d love to have you there.”

Killian scratches his ear and nods, flashing her a tight smile. He doesn’t think Emma would welcome him at a party full of her friends, so he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable no matter how nice it might be to be in a large group of people.

“He’ll be there,” Emma says, surprising him, and he feels her toe tap his shin. “If he can make it, of course. You know, he has a very busy social calendar.”

“I wonder why that is, darling.” He winks, making Emma smile, and he taps his toes into hers right back. “I’ve heard you keep pretty busy as well.”

Emma’s mouth gapes before closing, and her green eyes widen, lashes nearly hitting against her brows. “Ass.”

“Well, I know you like - ”

“Okay.” Mary Margaret claps her hands together. “I’ve got to go. Emma, I’ll send you the menu after I talk to David tonight. And Killian, we really would love to have you there.”

“I’ll see,” he says as he fights to keep from smiling too widely. “May I recommend the cheddar bites for the menu. They’ll kill you, but you’ll enjoy it.”

“I have never once seen you get the cheddar bites,” Emma scoffs.

He leans over the table, pressing his chin in his hand and smirking the way he knows she likes. She tells him he’s obnoxious when he does it, but sometimes he can see past that hard shell exterior. “I’m full of surprises, darling.”

“That you are, Jones. That you are.”

-/-

-/-

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[bailey-reaper]

TY for all of your lovely writings! Could we have some Mutual Pining with Barok and his future s/o? Perhaps they are well-acquainted, however Barok does not feel as though he is a good enough candidate for them (maybe his reputation, the scar on his face, etc.). Meanwhile his future s/o feels similarly insufficient. How would it resolve? Maybe some bonus cheesy period drama tropes? Yearning glances when the other.isnt looking? The slow hand kiss with furtive eye contact that lasts longer than it should? I love period drama tropes, they're so fun lol. I love how you've mentioned several in your work! Thank you so much!

Pride & the Prosecutor

Notes: It’s my pleasure, anon, thank you for reading what I write 💜! I can certainly give the request a shot! Period drama tropes are great!

S/O is gender neutral (they/them pronouns). Barok refers to them using petnames.

Content Warnings: if you’re allergic to cheesy tropes, beware!; fluff; vague angst

The two met at a function arranged by a mutual acquaintance. At first, their conversation had been perfectly polite but by the end of the night they found a great deal of common ground in terms of interests and worldviews. The two had parted ways on good terms.

Following several similar engagements, their sense of camaraderie grew deeper. Slowly, it became a keen, yearning affection that the two shared; yet they did so unbeknownst to one another...

Lingering glances led to pondering the quandary of what to do -- how to test the waters without spoiling the friendship or causing an embarrassment... Yet, inactivity similarly led to the fear that the longer such feelings were left unspoken the greater the risk that another might swoop in.

Barok found himself pondering this dilemma with increasing regularity when he wasn’t absorbed in his work for the Prosecutor’s Office. His downtime at home, be it in Mayfair or North Devon, was taken up with what to do.Thanks to a lifetime of studying law, he’d become rather adept at overthinking and picking apart even the smallest of details. After all, he often found the devil was in the detail.

He thought about their last meeting: the way he thought he saw their head quickly turn to look away when he cast his glance in their direction. Lord Stronghart had been detaining him with matters of business, so he’d been unable to go over and greet them. Instead, he’d tried to (in as natural a manner as possible) look over on occasion just to behold them. The more his affection grew, the more impossible it seemed to keep his eyes off them.

Did that little moment mean that they held some regard for him? Or was he overthinking this?

Perhaps they simply wanted to offer him a nod of greeting, given that he was detained at the time by the Lord Chief Justice, but had not wanted to cause a distraction. He could be misreading their intentions entirely.

But what about the time he’d kissed their hand in greeting at the weekend? Surely that moment where they held one another’s gaze for just a beat longer than was socially acceptable... that had to mean something, didn’t it?

Or, had they felt unable to say to him that he was drawing out his greeting? Given his standing as a member of the nobility and the fearsome ‘Reaper of the Old Bailey’, it wouldn’t surprise him if they felt unable to question his actions. Perhaps he was being churlish...

Why, after all, would they want to be courted by one such as him? His face was scarred, his reputation was a menacing one and he was set upon by assassins at regular intervals. He sighed with frustration, raking a hand through his unruly hair; it all felt rather hopeless...

──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────

For their part, the object of Barok’s heart was similarly conflicted: they were deeply enamoured with him and had been for some time. The ‘Reaper’ had a presence unlike any other they’d met -- yes, he could be ‘menacing’ as other aristocrats said, but he was a wonderful conversationalist, had an excellent sense of humour and exuded a natural charm that had enchanted them right from the offset.

In truth, they were certain they’d fallen for him upon first meeting him that fateful evening.

Yet, they felt a distinct lack of confidence about their ‘right’ to court him. In terms of standing, their family was nowhere close to the van Zieks’. Surely a man of such rich and ancient pedigree would expect a spouse of equally impressive standing...?

If only they’d been born into some minor royal family or an equally noble family. Then there would be no doubt in their mind that they’d be worthy of such a charming and handsome man as Barok...

Sometimes their fanciful imagination gave them cause for hope -- had he been looking their way during that last engagement? They couldn’t bring themself to actually verify the fact, on account that it would be rude to stare, but it had filled their heart with hope to think that maybe there was something there....

Their daydreams were occupied with chances to broach the topic and whimsical ideas of how a confession might positively unfold -- but that was just dreams and thoughts of fancy. They had no idea how to go about satisfying in their mind how Barok felt about them.

Instead, they wrote in their diary about the yearning they felt for the handsome nobleman.

──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────

“It’s been a while since we last had a chance to speak,” Barok said, his heart pounding in his chest as he approached the one who had occupied his thoughts for much of the day, “You look very well indeed,” he took their hand and kissed the back of it, lingering entirely too long as he wondered whether to simply spill his heart there and then.

He decided against the idea and released the captive hand, albeit reluctantly.

“Thank you,” a subtle blush crept over their face, “As are you.”

He chuckled, “Mmm, thank you, though I suspect you’re the only one to think so. I heard Lady Southerby murmuring to her companion that I looked ‘rather like a walking corpse’...”

“Ironic, coming from a woman in her late 80′s....”

He laughed.

“True enough, I suppose...” he smiled softly, “May I interest you in a drink?”

“Yes, please.”

Barok nodded and went to fetch them both a glass of wine; all the while his thoughts were running wild. It had been weeks, perhaps even months, since he started pining for this beautiful soul and it was impossible to think of anything else in that moment.

He returned with their drinks and resumed conversing with them.

As the night went on, they drank and talked until it seemed the event was coming to a close; both were a bit more intoxicated than usual, on account of constantly sipping their drinks while their minds distracted them with thoughts of one another.

“I... must confess,” Barok murmured, cradling his wine glass, “I had rather hoped this evening might not end...”

“Me too,” they sighed, “I would very much like time to stop so I could spend more time with you...” they paused, realising what they’d just said.

Barok blinked, “... Really?”

“.....” it seemed the wine was making them bolder, or at least more loose lipped, “... Really.”

“... You know,” Barok said, looking up at the ceiling of the impressive room where the event was being held, “We don’t necessarily need time to stop to spend more time with one another.”

They looked at him, hopeful.

“... Perhaps I could... take you out to dinner sometime? Or we could go out for drinks... or to a cafe... or ... on a date, maybe?”

“Huh?”

“... Um...” he looked at them, a blush warming his features quite visibly, given how pale he usually was, “...I... wondered if perhaps you’d like to go on a date with me,” he’d come this far -- there was nothing left to lose. To hell with keeping silent. He needed them in his life.

“I... would love nothing more.”

“Really?!” he was stunned, but delighted all the same, “Then.... it’s a date!”

“Yes... a date,” they took a moment to surreptitiously pinch themself.

Ouch.

Yes, this was real, apparently.

[dreamties]

Slashers W/ a Punk S/O

T/W- q*eer is used a few times- in a positive, self affirming kind of way. But I can add other trigger warnings if needed. :)

A/n- Literally no one asked for this, but I wanted to make more HCs like the soft pastel one...so I just went wild and made them. 

I included a little bit of punk culture into this as well, because it’s not just about the fashion, but since there’s such a vast variety within punk culture I mostly stuck with my experiences in the community, and some bits and pieces from documentaries(mostly live footage from “The Decline of Western Civilization”).

Characters: Billy/Stu, The Lost Boys, Norman Bates, Michael Myers

Will make one(s) for Brahms, Amanda, Helen or Daniel if asked

Billy Loomis + Stu Macher

so early 90s, the Riot Grrrl movement emerges

bands like Bikini Kill, Bratmobile, Heavens to Betsy or Sleater-Kinney

it’s a very female-powered oriented movement, but I notice that a lot of minorities tend to be drawn to this music and community (LGBT folks, people of color, etc).

both boys, and yourself, being outside of the norm and all (polyamorous relationship, gay/bi) are sort of drawn to it!

and sure there’s a lot of really great queercore/homocore bands, and there’s probably a good LGBT+ punk scene out there somewhere, but in a little town like Woodsboro? Hell no. Sticking with this fem punk movement, while again mostly a space for women in music- it’s the most accepted the three of you have felt outside of you’re relationship. 

you’ve always been pretty into the music, stuff like Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, or the short-lived Germs- but it wasn’t until you stumbled upon Riot Grrrl that you really got into it. 

the music, making zines about local-ish political issues(probably not so much Woodsboro stuff, more Cali in general and neighboring towns) and a few ones with queer themes and hand-drawn illustrations of your partners, and DIYing all your clothes

since you’re so experienced with DIYing your clothes and sewing on patches, you’ve helped repair the Ghostface costumes on numerous occasions. they kind of adore this(Stu is the only one that will- and does, frequently- admit that)

Let’s face it, the three of you do everything together- but you especially enjoy when Stu tags along for thrift dates. 

he’s the more fashionable one, and he makes the whole experience more enjoyable- cracking jokes and just being his all-around goofy self.

Woodsboro is a very little town, so they don’t have much...but they do have a few small stores- usually you’ll make a whole day/date out of it though. driving to the next town or so over, since they have more stores and a better selection, and spending hours looking for cheap, old t-shirts, belts, clothes with funky patterns. heading out for pizza after.

Billy’s more likely to get into the music and everything with you(he’s kinda,, angsty, no offense to him)- will definitely go to shows with you.

just- imagine Billy in ripped jeans. and he’d have like one or two patches sewn on to it- one of them is your all time favorite band, and the other is a band that he found on his own time, and actually really enjoyed.

Stu is dragged along with you guys, you can’t just leave him at home- he’s gonna feel left out and sad. :(

He’s mostly there to keep y’all company- he really likes the energy of the shows though!

the two of them are such a chaotic duo though, so much so that you have definitely been kicked out or banned from a few venues. all for varying reasons. good grief these men can not be tamed.

The Lost Boys

as we all know, these vampires are total punks. so they’re gonna appreciate having a s/o who’s also into that whole scene.

How you meet:

you’re a baby punk, and it’s your first show ever, and you look so nervous. you’re dressed up in pretty plain clothes, a single homemade patch for your favorite band barely hanging to your jacket side(you were mid-way sewing it, when you realized you were gonna be late if you didn’t leave asap).

it’s a few local bands, ones you’d never really heard of really. you look anxious. but when they start playing? you look so unapologetically yourself, you’re so in the moment dancing- it’s completely mesmerizing to the boys. the music isn’t even that good, but you seem to be having the time of your life.

they greet you after the show, and you’re a tiny bit flustered- cause gosh, heck, they saw you. dancing. so embarrassing. 

David is the one that introduces himself and the group, and initiates conversation. Dwayne’s a pretty quiet guy, so he just listens to what you have to say. 

Marko’s pretty excited about you, and initiates in some small conversation, he may have complimented your little patch(Marko- patch jacket KING, complimenting your jacket?? more likely than you’d think) 

and oh, oh- Paul is out there being a total chatty-cathy, and is absolutely bombarding you with questions. like, okay, Paul is pretty talkative, but the other vamps are a little worried that he’s scared you off. and you had seemed so cool :(

you end up pretty engaged in your convo with Paul though, even if all the attention is overwhelming. He ends up snagging a date for the five of you the following week.

once you start hanging out/dating:

y’all just hit it off so well those first few days. they all love how sweet & shy you are- but also how much of a badass punk babe you are.

Marko helps make your patch jacket(collecting ones for bands you enjoy, how to make your own, sewing them on, etc). you probably could have done it w/out his help, but my gosh- you weren’t going to pass up this opportunity. Marko gets really soft around you sometimes, since he doesn’t really do this activity with anyone else, it’s saved for you. 🥺🥺

Dwayne likes listening to you talking about the local scene(outside of the shows you go to- mostly about stuff he can’t attend, protests and meetings during the daylight.)

all of them(especially David) are very protective of you. I mean, generally. but also when you go to shows. they let you do whatever the heck you’re gonna do, but the mere second that someone even thinks about starting shit w/ you?? well, y’know. those vampire instincts kick in.

the four of them obviously share a lot of similar tastes in music- but they all have different favorite bands, & fave parts of the community. which, they can’t even fully participate in,, but it’s okay.

they, individually, introduce their favorite bands to you. and they get it in their head that oh, they said they liked it. they must like it as much as I do. and awkwardly coming out to the four of them, as they argue about your favorite band, “Well, actually- this *insert band they’ve never heard of or barely listen to* is my favorite.” and their just kinda like, oh, okay. please tell us more about them. 

so it’s sorta like,, you’ve been learning all this cool knowledge from them, now you get to share cool knowledge with them.

idk. I think it’s cute. 💕

Norman Bates

so first off- let’s just pretend Psycho was in at least the 70s/80s for a moment. because realistically- the punk subculture didn’t really exist back then.

baby boy is absolutely fascinated by the way you dress (mother is less thrilled though)

imagine your jacket is getting a bit weathered, and needs some repairs- so he helps you to sew edges closed, and make sure the patches aren’t on too loose, etc

he enjoys hearing your stories of all the past shows you’ve gone to. you always get so excited about them, and he finds that so endearing. But he pretty much leaves the actual punk scene to you because of these stories.

he was already worried from the stories, and made sure you were well prepared for any trouble every time you left for a show.

but one time, you were able to get him to join you. never again though. he was so nervous!

the music was too loud! and he could hardly understand what they were saying- it was so confusing!

you stayed with him most of the night, standing near the back, holding his hand. he’d gently bob his head to the music occasionally. 

but you accidentally found yourself swept into the crowd, but you looked so blissed-out in the moment, that he figured it would be okay for you to dance* over there for a little bit...right?  

*Norman is still unsure if you’d even call that dancing.

Thankfully, nothing bad happened in the mosh pit.

you gotta give him lots of attention and reassurance afterwards though- you almost scared Norman half to death D:

He’s happy enough helping you out and listening to you though- and that’s okay for you, too. you still love each other lots, even if this particular interest doesn’t overlap.

Michael Myers

he thinks you’re outfits are pretty interesting. 

he’s a little worried at first, when you start experimenting with putting things like safety pins in your ears. cause like- that’s not supposed to be in your ear, Y/n, what the fuck

if you make zines at all, Michael really enjoys watching you make the illustrations for them(not that he’ll admit to it though), and helps to find newspaper and magazine clippings to incorporate into the spreads.

you always show michael the final booklet before distributing it

he doesn’t talk a lot, so he doesn’t ask questions- but he often does the little head tilt once you give it to him. since he’s not very privy to current events, and a lot of your zines are political, you spend a lot of time explaining them in depth.

he has no use for any of this knowledge, but he listens on, intently.

Important note:

dear god do not bring this man to concerts and local shows with you.

it is a nightmare, to say the least

Michael is sort of,, emotionless sometimes, doesn’t really care for people at all, and if he does? definitely not in the same way most people do. 

so imagine combining that part of michael, the fact that he’s also a giant stabby man, with super loud, energetic- almost aggressive- sounding music and a bunch of strangers that aren’t respecting any personal boundaries. 

you need to keep him at the back of the venue- lest your local scene may go missing.

[css1992]

Guilty Pleasure

Summary:  Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM. 

All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V /  Part VI /  Part VII /  Part VIII  / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

Almost two months after moving out of Beck’s place, Peter was able to rent an apartment in the same building as Ned and MJ. It was tiny, of course, but pretty inexpensive, compared to other options he found around that area. Besides, with the money he made with Just4Fans over those few weeks, he would be able to afford it comfortably for at least a few months – largely thanks to YKWIM. He still planned on saving up as much as possible, so he put a lot of effort into making his account grow and it was working – by the end of April, he was up to five hundred subscribers.

He didn’t check to see what Beck was doing, he was too afraid to look and see him with his new boyfriend, but he got lots of comments from his old fans, who still followed Beck, telling him that the new boy had nothing on him. Again, he didn’t dare to check, but the ego boost was nice, even if he didn’t really believe them. Also, he was down to crying once every two days instead of every other day, so he was counting that as a win as well.

His apartment was still pretty empty, specially because he spent most of his time downstairs at his friends’ place, but he decorated the bathroom and his room to the best of his ability, since they would be the background of pretty much all his videos and pictures. He also bought some new lingerie sets, a few costumes and sex toys he wasn’t even sure how to use, but he was slowly figuring them out.

Aside from decorating his room and the bathroom, he also bought an armchair and placed it by the  window with a couple of pillows. It was a nice spot to spend the afternoon reading or working on his computer. The light in that apartment was great, sunlight streamed right into his living room and warmed it up nicely. As they approached the end of April, the weather was getting better everyday.

Some days, he felt happy. He felt okay with the fact that he was still doing porn and that it wasn’t a terrible crime. Sure, it wasn’t what he had planned to do with his life, but he was young, he would eventually figure things out. For the time being, he needed that gig and he couldn’t beat himself up for it. Also, it wasn’t so bad now that he was only doing solo stuff.

Some other days, though, were just – hard. He remembered all the videos that were still online and he felt awful for the sole reason that they existed. Not so much for the ones he filmed with Beck, he was somewhat okay with those, the guy was his boyfriend after all, they had sex anyway, the only difference was the camera in the room. But the other ones…

When he started filming with other men, it quickly turned into an unpleasant experience for him. He hated every second of it and always ended up feeling guilty, used and disposable at the end of the day. Beck didn’t make it any better with the way he looked at him afterwards as he told him to get in the shower.

He wasn’t entirely sure of the reasons why those videos bothered him so much, sometimes it felt like it wasn’t even him in them. It was like he was watching a different person, he looked at himself and felt completely dissociated from that boy – at the same time, he looked at him and he knew – he knew – exactly what he was feeling when those were shot.

But that was a lot to unpack and he just wasn’t ready for that particular crisis.  

So in short, sometimes he was still a little unsure about how long he would be able to keep his Just4Fans account, because even though most days he didn’t feel too weird about it, sometimes it reminded him of things he preferred to forget. But that was fine, he was usually able to work around that. Also, most of his subscribers were great and didn’t make him feel like a cheap whore, so he had that going for him as well.

YKWIM was one of the good ones. They chatted almost daily, and Peter always sent him exclusive pictures and videos just because. He never posted those pictures on his feed once he sent them to him, it was their little secret. In return, he got his own collection of short videos of YKWIM finishing himself off. He didn’t know much about the person behind the videos, he’d taken to calling him daddy because most of his subscribers seemed to like it and YKWIM never complained, so it stuck.

Peter did know he lived in New York – which made him shiver – and that he was a businessman of some kind, but he also always talked about a workshop, so Peter wasn’t sure and he avoided asking personal questions. He worked most of the day and into the night, they usually talked when it was late, always around two in the morning.

He traveled a lot, too, and sometimes sent Peter small clips of his hotel rooms or the view from his balcony. In return, Peter sent him pictures of his messy bedroom and the horrible view from his window as a joke. It was nice talking to him, he always made Peter laugh – and then it often ended with a very satisfying orgasm that put him right to sleep, which was awesome.

Peter estimated YKWIM was older than Beck, but not by too much. He clearly had a fit body, which at first led him to believe he was in his thirties, at most; but he noticed YKWIM sometimes talked about the 80’s like he lived them, so he had to be at least in his forties, but Peter couldn’t be sure. He really wished he would show his face, though, it would be nice to have one to fantasize about. But then again, maybe it would ruin the whole thing.

One afternoon, after Peter spent hours taking pictures, shooting videos and editing them so he could post them over the following week, he got a message from YKWIM. He hurried to check it and was shocked to see that he had sent him yet another tip – forty thousand dollars this time.

“For you to buy pretty things so you can show them off to me.” Said the message that came with the money.

Peter almost dropped his phone when he saw it. It had been only five weeks since his last insane tip, so that made fifty thousand dollars in just a little over a month. For, like, thirty nudes. Who even was that guy?

“Wow, daddy, that’s way too much!” He added a flushed face emoji, for lack of something better to say. He was honestly feeling a little overwhelmed, even if the guy had millions to spend, there was no way just giving someone that amount of money was normal.

“That’s not nearly enough for what you’ve given me, baby.” Peter’s cheeks burned.

“I’m very flattered, but please, I really don’t think I deserve all this.” He was pretty sure he sounded pathetic, but that was how he felt, so. Yeah.

“Oh, but you do. Trust me, you really, really do. You’re worth every penny.” Peter bit his lower lip, a little unsure and still a little shocked.

“At least tell me what you’d like to see from me, please. Do you have any kinks that you’d like me to perform? Don’t be shy.” He asked, even though it always made him nervous to offer that kind of thing. Sometimes people were just waiting for the perfect opportunity to make the weirdest requests.

But, to be fair, he had been talking to YKWIM for over a month, so he somewhat trusted him not to ask for anything too absurd.  And then again, the guy had just paid him forty thousand dollars.

“Well, if you insist...” Here it comes, Peter thought, bracing himself. “Red and gold are my favorite colors. I’d love to see you wearing them.” Oh. Not what he was expecting at all.

“Done! Anything else? Come on, there’s gotta be something else.” Again, risky move. But again, forty thousand dollars.

“I’d love to hear you. You’re always so quiet in your videos. If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear you call my name.” The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end at that request. It sounded… almost sweet? It obviously wasn’t meant like that, it was completely sexual, but out of all the wild things he could have asked for, he wanted to hear Peter call his name.

“What’s your name, daddy?”

“Tony.” Tony. Peter tested the word out on his tongue, saying it out loud once, twice. Tony. It suited the image he had created in his head. Tony.

“I can definitely do that, Tony. Anything else?”

“Buy yourself something pretty and send me a picture wearing it. Nothing sexual. Something you’d wear to a date with me.” Peter’s breath hitched. He supposed it was probably just a weird, rich people kink or something, but his mind went wild anyway. Very, very wild.

“I don’t know what I’d wear to a date with you, daddy. Any advice?”

“I like expensive and beautiful things such as yourself, baby.”

Normally, Peter wouldn’t appreciate being called expensive, like he was a thing to be bought, but he felt weirdly flattered by the answer. He promised YKW – Tony – he would send everything he requested over the next few days, and he was actually excited about the whole thing. And of course he knew that feeling was trouble, there were warning signs flashing like crazy before his eyes, but he ignored them and convinced himself that he was just having fun and he was allowed to have fun if he was going to keep doing porn. He didn’t have to feel miserable and guilty all the fucking time. He could – and should! – take some pleasure from it. He deserved it.

So the following day he asked MJ to go shopping with him, but he still didn’t tell her the whole story, he just said it was for his Just4Fans and she readily agreed to go. They went to Victoria’s Secret and Peter told her what he had in mind.

“So, how’s the job going? You’re doing okay? Not too overwhelmed?” She asked coolly as they searched through the panties section.

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s different when I’m in control, you know? Like, I know my limits and I don’t need to count on other people to respect them. Well, most of the time. So it’s cool.”

Some subscribers were a little pushy sometimes, asking for things Peter wasn’t willing to do and then getting really aggressive after being told no. But it didn’t affect him as much as it did when Beck ignored his boundaries, because those pushy subscribers could be easily blocked, whereas with Beck, well. It was a different story.

“Don’t ever feel like you need to push your limits, okay?” Michelle stopped what she was doing to grab him by the shoulders and force him to look at her. “If you ever feel like stopping, for whatever reason, just do it. No matter what, you’ll always have me and Ned, understand? We’re family, we’re here for you, we’d never leave you alone. If you want to stop, we’ll figure something out together, you hear me?” The way she looked into his eyes made him understand that she really meant every single word of it.

Family. He had a family with them.

Peter felt silly tearing up in the middle of Victoria’s Secret, so he pulled her into his arms and hid his face in her neck.

“Thank you. I needed to hear that,” he muttered, as she squeezed him a little tighter, before pushing him away.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get all teary-eyed on me, come on, you’ll ruin my reputation.” She looked around, sniffing, then stuck her hands in her pockets. Peter laughed halfheartedly, drying the corner of his eyes. “C’mon, there are panties to be bought.”

They spent a couple of hours searching the store, but in the end he found the perfect set. He bought some other pieces, too, for his feed, people had been asking for lingerie a lot lately, after a slightly weird phase of cat ears and tails. Once they left Victoria’s Secret, Peter was nervous because he had to tell MJ at least part of the truth to get her help with the second part of Tony’s request.

“So, listen,” he started and she turned to him, happily sipping her large coffee as they walked down the street. “I have this subscriber. He’s, like, a rich, old dude who always sends me tips and stuff. Anyway, he gave me some money and asked me to buy something nice and pose for him, but like, not in a sexual way. He wants to see me clothed.” She frowned, staring at him suspiciously. “Um. I was wondering if you could help me with that?”

She was silent for a few seconds, just looking at him with narrowed eyes. He looked away discreetly, trying to avoid her mind-reading skills.

“Should I be worried?” She asked, finally. He shook his head and chuckled nervously, waving a hand dismissively.

“He’s harmless, just some lonely, old dude. So, will you help?” He looked at her expectantly. She was still frowning and definitely knew something was up, but she nodded anyway, to Peter’s relief.

“What do you have in mind?” MJ asked and resumed her stroll down the street, Peter had to jog a little to keep up.

“Something expensive and beautiful,” He quoted Tony, like an idiot, because he honestly had no idea what that meant.

“That’s oddly specific and somehow not helpful at all.” She lifted an eyebrow and looked around the busy street. “How expensive are we talking about?”

“I’m not sure. Very?” He answered nervously, and, yet again, she looked looked like she wanted to rip the truth out of him, but she also knew that was not the way to go with him.  

“How much did this guy give you?”

“Um. for – five thousand dollars.” He stuttered. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her the actual amount, because it sounded absolutely insane and she would worry unnecessarily.

“Holy shit!? Fuck, why aren’t I doing porn?!” She screeched and Peter hurried to put his hands over her mouth, because at least three people turned around to look at them.

“Don’t even joke about that, you hear me? You have a bright future ahead of you, don’t fuck it up,” he told her seriously and she looked like she wanted to argue just for the sake of being annoying, but something in the way he looked at her must have made her realize he meant it.

“Chill, I’m joking.” She patted his shoulder and looked away. “So. Five thousand dollars? We can work with that.”

He was a little scared of the weird gleam in her eyes, but followed her anyway.

They spent the rest of the afternoon shopping, it was a lot of fun and he even got her a pair of shoes she kept staring longingly at. She was worried they would go over the budget because she wanted him to save some of the money, but he assured her he could afford it. They managed to put together a great outfit that he was very confident about and then called Ned to meet them for dinner in the evening.

Later, they took the subway home and, for a while, he felt like a normal 20-year-old guy – happy, weightless and just a little heartbroken, like everyone was bound to be at some point in life. He was going to be okay, he realized. That thought hit him like a punch in the face and it felt fucking awesome.

He rested his head on Ned’s shoulder with a sigh of relief, feeling the warmth of MJ’s hand on his thigh.

It was around midnight when he got home, which for him was still a little early, he had developed the terrible habit of going to bed well after two in the morning – he blamed Tony, but to be fair, many of his subscribers were mostly active around that time as well. He debated whether or not he should start working on Tony’s requests, he was a little tired from a long day of walking around carrying bags, but also surprisingly eager to show the older man what he got for him.

He took the Victoria’s Secret bag and displayed the new outfit on the bed. It was a simple, but beautiful lingerie set. What Peter loved most about it was the fabric – it was made of deep red satin, smooth and glossy, and it felt simply amazing on the skin.

He decided to try it on, just to make sure it fit properly.

The top was a delicate bralette, two little triangles only big enough to hide his nipples and a little bit of his pecs. It was the perfect size for him, it sat flush with his skin, no unflattering cup gaps. The panties were tiny, Peter wasn’t too sure about those back in the store, he was worried not everything would fit in it. It did, but just barely, but it actually worked in his favor, in his humble opinion. Lastly, he put on the garter belt, which was just a thin piece of fabric that went around his waist, with two straps that hung down to clasp onto two elastic bands that went around his thighs.

Since Tony said red and gold, he also put on a thick, golden choker, just to see how it would look.

Once he was dressed, he went to check in the mirror. He bit his lower lip, running his hand over the fabric that covered his chest. It felt really smooth, and the way it brushed against his nipples sent shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes and imagined it was Tony’s hands on his body. They looked strong enough to hurt, but he imagined they would be gentle with him, as they traced a path from his collarbone to his neck, to wrap themselves around his throat – but not tight enough to choke him, just a promise.

He sighed, as if to check that he could still breath under the pressure, and slowly slid his hands down from his neck, brushing his hard nipples on their way down to the front of the panties – God, it was so smooth...

For some reason, he imagined Tony would be a gentle lover. Maybe it was the way he talked to him, always so charming, all sweetheart and baby, all praise and compliments. Maybe it was the way he never demanded anything, only asked nicely, all please and thank you.  

Tony wouldn’t ruin him, like he promised so many times in those last few weeks, he would fuck him long and slow, raspy voice whispering sweet praise in his ear, rough hands holding him down, hips snapping with each unrelenting thrust.

He bit his lips, knees buckling as he felt the front of the panties getting wet, while his leaking cock struggled to get free.

Well, then.

He grabbed his camera from the closet and positioned it on a tripod in front of the bed, just a few feet away, and programmed it to take pictures every five seconds. He sat on the bed, facing the camera, feet still on the floor, and just closed his eyes for a minute, letting a sigh escape his lips as the fantasy from before filled his mind again.

He spread his legs and his fingers reached down to the front of his panties again. His cock felt impossibly hard, straining against the delicate fabric, dark pink tip peeking out of over the top of the tiny underwear. He touched himself slowly, hips rocking lightly to match the pace of his own hand, as he listened to the clicks of the pictures being taken.

He had to force himself to stop, before he lost control, and moved to kneel on the bed, with his side facing the camera, and lowered his chest until it was touching the mattress, letting his back curve in a sinful arch, head turned to the side, staring right at the lens. At Tony. Imagining what he would do if he were there.

He sat back on his heels and turned his back to the camera, spreading his knees, each of his hands grabbing one ass cheek, pulling them apart, only a thin, barely there strip of fabric hiding his nakedness. He looked over his shoulder and waited for the camera to take at least a couple of pictures.

Next, he laid on his back, side facing the camera again, left hand rubbing one nipple over the silky fabric, as the right one reached down the front of the panties, to finally give himself some sort of relief. He let out an almost pained moan as he wrapped a hand around his cock, pumping it slowly, once, twice, but all that teasing was driving him a little insane.

He knew he should probably take a few more pictures, but he also knew wouldn’t last much longer.

He got off the bed and went to the dresser where he kept all of his “work stuff”. He grabbed a tube of lube and a vibrator that was neither too small, nor too big, it was a size Peter was comfortable with.

He switched the camera to video mode, pressed record and resumed his position on the bed, knees on the bed, holding his lower body up, and chest resting on the mattress. He squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, pushed the panties a little to the side and circled his hole gently, slowly, because that was how he imagined Tony would do it. Those big, rough hands would have grabbed him by the hips, put him in that exact position, before teasing him mercilessly.

He moaned quietly and closed his eyes, rubbing slow circles around his rim, pressing a little against his entrance, but not hard enough to breach it. He felt his cock pulsing, begging for attention, but he didn’t dare to touch it, not yet.

“Tony, please...” He whined, pushing his hips back against his own hand, he was so lost in his fantasy he almost forgot he didn’t need to beg. Almost. “I need you...”

Gently, he started pushing one finger inside, knuckle by knuckle, he was so aroused he barely felt the burn, just delicious pressure that made his eyes roll to the back of his head. He started fucking himself on his finger, feeling the muscles around it slowly make way.

“’Been thinking about you, Tony…” he rasped out, hips pushing back against his hand. “Can’t stop thinking ‘bout you...” When he felt loose enough, he pushed another finger inside, the stretch becoming a little more noticeable as he slowly scissored himself open. He got on all fours and turned his back to the camera to give Tony a better view, all spread out for him, and kept fucking himself, picking up the pace once just those two fingers weren’t enough. “Fuck, daddy, need you so bad...”

He eased the fingers out of himself, sighing at the loss, and reached for the vibrator that was sitting on the bed and turned to face the camera again. He knelt on the bed and, with one hand, he propped the vibrator up on the mattress, holding it down from behind him, as with the other hand he guided its tip to his already abused hole.

He flicked the switch and it vibrated to life, nudging against his hole before finally slipping in. Peter’s breath hitched at the intrusion, feeling the delicious burn on his lower back, as he moved his hips up and down slowly, trying to push more of it inside with each painful thrust.

“Fuck me, Tony,” he begged, as his free hand finally reached for his neglected cock, pumping it hard and fast, matching the maddening pace his hips set. He lost all sense of rhythm when he felt the tip of the vibrator finally – finally – reach his prostate and he pushed it even further in, until the pressure against the bundle of nerves became too much and he exploded in one of the best orgasms he had had in a long, long time. “Oh, f-fuck!” His vision went dark for a second as he let himself fall back on the bed, wasted.

He spent almost ten minutes just lying there, trying to catch his breath and regain consciousness. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like that, he was boneless, floaty, completely satisfied. It was honestly the best he felt in months.

When his legs stopped shaking, he got up and headed straight to the shower, still feeling a little dizzy and weak, but he wasn’t complaining.

Once he was finished, he debated whether he should just go to bed or send Tony what he had, but with the way he was feeling, he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep so easily. So decided to send at least the pictures right away, even though it was nearing 3AM. Peter knew Tony was probably up, the man did say that he was an insomniac and that he sometimes went days without any real sleep, so it wasn’t a surprise when he answered just a few minutes after Peter sent them.

“Holy fuck, Peter!!” Peter bit his lower lip, burying his face in the pillow to hide his blush, even though he was alone in his room.“What the fuck, baby, it’s three in the morning, are you trying to fucking kill me?!”

“So you like them?” He asked with feigned innocence.

“I fucking love them, you little tease, these are hands down my favorites yet. I swear I’m gonna have them framed and hung in my workshop and I’ll spend the rest of my fucking days just writing odes to you.” Peter giggled into the pillow, turning on his side to get more comfortable on the bed.

“I bet you say that to all the boys.” He joked lightly, blushing again, which was stupid, but he couldn’t help it.

“Fuck no! You’re something else, kitten, and you don’t even know it.” Peter suppressed a smile, biting his lower lip.

“Are you touching yourself right now, daddy?”

“To be honest, I’m so fucking hard I think I’m gonna come instantly if I even brush my fingers on my cock. I’m literally just staring at the pictures right now and worrying I’m gonna come untouched just from that.” Peter laid on his stomach and bit the pillow, gently rocking his hips against the bed.

“That’s so hot. Can I see it?”

Seconds later, there was a video in the chat. He played it immediately and, sure enough, Tony wasn’t kidding. His cock was rock hard, throbbing, the head was an angry purple, already glistening with pre-cum. Tony was just holding it at the base, not daring to touch it, and the whole thing almost made Peter hard again, but he was really exhausted.

“Fuck, daddy, I really wish I could help you with that.”

“Oh, you don’t even know what I wish.”

Tony didn’t say anything for a few minutes and Peter figured he had gone to sleep, but then his phone beeped, alerting him to another message from him. It was, of course, a picture of Tony’s spent cock, resting against his belly, which was covered in come, so much of it Peter’s mouth watered.

“Was it good, daddy?”

“The best, sweetheart. Thank you. I’m gonna sleep like a baby today.” Peter chuckled. Tony always said that was high praise coming from someone who hardly ever slept and the younger man took his word for it.

“Goodnight, Tony. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Looking forward to it, Pete.”

He knew he was fucked the second he tried to suppress a small smile, but couldn’t.

[emmys-main]

Intro (Part 1 of Love Me Good)

Summary: When you mention that you’ve never been satisfied by a man in bed, your older friend Chris makes you an offer you can’t refuse. Part II: Closer

Pairing: Chris Evans x female reader 

Warnings: SMUT. Implied age gap, graphic oral sex (performed on a female). Do not interact if you are not 18+. 

Title Inspiration: Intro by the XX

You didn’t know quite how the conversation of sexual satisfaction came up, but you weren’t mad that it was happening. Maybe it was because you were drunk off vodka and pink lemonade. Maybe it was because you were with a group of friends you trusted. Maybe it was because you were just having fun. 

You were in a quiet suburb of Boston with a group of friends who were filming a movie there. You had been working for Chris’s mom’s theater for about three yeas after college, which was how you met Chris, and he’d introduced you to his friends, and then you’d taken a job on a TV show that Chris was filming back in Boston. It had been a wild couple of years, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Chris was, without a doubt, one of your best friends. Most of your friends in the area had scattered after college, allowing you to get closer to your employer’s son.

You’d been playing stupid games for most of the night after the Bruins game ended and you didn’t feel like going home quite yet; Chris was your ride, anyway, because he didn’t want you going back yourself so late. Somehow the game had turned to truth or dare, the real version of truth or dare - tell the truth or do whatever the other person says. Of course, in a room full of adults who were full of home-made chips and dip and alcohol, it turned dirty. 

“I’m serious, answer it!” Your friend Janie said, nudging you with her elbow. “Come on, you have to! Or I’ll dare you to answer it!” 

“Fine!” You sighed. You felt heat on your cheeks, starting to sweat a little more than you had been. “Never. I’ve never had an orgasm with a guy, okay?” Janie and another friend, Will, let their jaws drop before falling into a fit of laughter that you knew would happen. Even Chris, who was sitting there, laughed a little bit as he took another sip of his beer. He was probably the most sober of all of you - he was your ride, after all. 

“What about Jay?” Will asked. “You dated him for two years in college.” 

“I lied! He tried, and I almost got there, but I never did unless I was on my own,” you said, pulling your cardigan a little closer to you like it would guard your secret that was already out. “There’s your answer, okay? Now take the conversation away from me.” You took a sip from the pink-rimmed steel straw you were drinking out of, the lemonade and vodka mix stinging your lips like it had been all night. 

“Chris, your turn! Same question or dare!” Janie turned her attention to Chris, who immediately looked like a deer in the headlights. The look on his face faded and suddenly he was chuckling, his cheeks slightly flushed. 

“My record is five in one night. But I don’t remember the last time, so you’re not getting an answer to that.”

“Oh bullshit! There’s no way you don’t remember.” Chris shrugged, putting his hands in his sweatshirt. You secretly loved when Chris dressed like he was that night - in jeans and a sweatshirt and a Bruins hat, not concerned with anyone who might be taking pictures or spreading rumors about what he said. You knew he trusted you the first time he came over to watch a movie and told you some secrets from the set, not even worried about whether you would say something. He looked like any other guy, not Chris Evans. He looked like the guy who was easily your closest and most trusted friend. 

“I don’t remember!” He insisted. “But at least I know it happened.” He looked over at you, winking, and you just rolled your eyes. Chris was a flirt. A hardcore flirt. And nothing ever came of it because you figured he just wasn’t into you. Tonight had been different, though, because as soon as the alcohol started flowing he was all touchy-feely and flirty and was just overall different. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t notice it.

You went a few more rounds of the game, ending up revealing that the craziest place you’d ever done it was in the communal showers sophomore year. Chris’s answer was an awards show green room, a much better answer, but he tried to play it off, saying it was too hot and he was worried about getting anything on his date’s dress, making excuses to play it down so it wouldn’t seem like anyone was missing out on anything. 

You helped clean up before you walked across the street and climbed in Chris’s car. He turned the air conditioning vents toward you, making sure you were cool because you were sweating from all of the alcohol. He put on some 80′s music you didn’t quite recognize and started driving back toward your apartment. You grabbed a water bottle from the cupholder in the console, drinking a little bit of it before remembering it had been there since you got out of the car and that the water inside of it was hot. 

“You can't be fucking serious about that,” Chris remarked when you were reflecting on the night. “You had to have had at least one. Maybe you didn’t notice it, but you had to!” 

“I think I just put too much pressure on myself,” you admitted, “because I almost always get there but I never fully just...” You clenched your fists, looking for a good word, and let your voice trail off when you couldn’t find one in your vocabulary. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not satisfied with it. It’s fine. I’ve just kind of come to know I’m not going to and it’s whatever, you know? As long as I have fun otherwise.” 

“Oh, that’s such bullshit. I’ll admit it’s not everything, but come on! It’s kind of the end goal there.” Chris stopped at a red light, looking over at you to make sure you were okay. You could see that his cheeks were returning to their normal color, even in the bright red light from the truck ahead of you’s brake. He was definitely sober. And this wasn’t a conversation you’d ever even think to have if you were sober, too. 

“Yeah, but... I don’t know.”

“You’ve never been with a good guy, then,” Chris said after a second. He crossed his arms against his chest as he waited for the truck to go, then gently took his brake off and put his hands back on the wheel and the gear shift where he always rested his right fist. 

“Then fucking tell me where they are because obviously I don’t know how to look for them, either.” Chris scoffed. “And, besides, I’m pretty enough to fuck and that’s all. No guy ever wants to stick around to learn how to make me feel good and it’s fucking annoying.”

“That’s just about the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. But maybe you need to look for a friends with benefits thing instead of anything else. At least at first. I hate hooking up with people because you don’t know them, you don’t know what they like or what they want to try or anything. You just know them for two hours and then they fuckin’ leave. But a friends with benefits, at least you know them and you can be idiots with each other.”

“Knowing me I’d probably catch feelings,” you scoffed, rubbing your hair a little when it hit a spot on your ear and started itching. 

“Take me, for example,” he said. You sat up, giggling. 

“What? You?” 

“Exactly! You love me as a friend and nothing else. I wouldn’t even think twice about doin’ something because i know you and I care about you, but I also know that it wouldn’t be weird.”

“You think you and me wouldn’t be weird?”

“At first, maybe, but...” He looked over at you. “You’re hot and we can act like adults, is all I’m saying. That’s what I mean. You don’t want to get with someone you can’t act like an adult with. Literally and metaphorically.” 

“Are you offering?” You asked after a second of silence, having been biting your tongue. The words came out of your mouth before you could stop them. Damn being drunk, even a little bit. it just made the part of you always afraid to step on someone’s toes go away. Chris shrugged in response and took a turn, and you noticed that you were almost back to your apartment. 

“Maybe,” he said. “Depends on if you’re accepting. I just can’t stand the fact that no one’s ever made you cum, it’s fucking ridiculous. And if you’re into it...” His voice faded out when he realized you were looking at him. 

“Sure,” you said in response, trying to be nonchalant about it. Inside, your heart was starting to race. Secretly, you’d always wondered what was inside of the gray sweatpants he would wear to set every morning, what was underneath the sweatshirt he would wear when it was cold outside, how his hair would feel running through your fingers... but you’d always been against it, thinking it was just empty flirting. He was so much older than you, he could have any woman he wanted, and he was so damn out of your league. But maybe, if this was one way you could have him, you wanted to. 

“Really?” He asked, looking over at you. You were at the stop sign right before your apartment. It was now or never. 

“Really,” you responded. His lips teased at a smile in the light of the street lamps and he pressed on the gas pedal, riding the short distance to your apartment before pulling into the driveway. “Do you want to come in?”

“Yeah.” He sniffled and turned off the car, then got out. You waited for him to cross over to you, looking in the darkness to make sure nothing was coming, before walking you up the stairs. You started sweating as you fiddled with your keys, trying to find the right one. 

“You wanna just watch a movie or something? You know, we don’t have to get into anything,” he suggested. You found the key with blue duct tape on it, labeled with your apartment number, and nodded as you stuck it in the door. 

“Sounds good.” You walked into the apartment and turned on the light, your head taking a minute to adjust to the light. “You know where the bedroom is, pick a movie. I’m going to use the bathroom.” He nodded and looked you up and down, smiling to himself, and the feeling of being checked out by him like a piece of meat sent shivers up and down your spine. The shivers stayed until you were in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, rolling up your cardigan in your hands. You weren’t wearing any makeup, but it didn’t really matter. You just made sure that you didn’t have any toilet paper or anything stuck down there, sighing, knowing you didn’t do that well when you'd shaved that morning. But Chris was your friend - if he wanted you, he wanted you. He wouldn’t care whether you had razor bumps or not. 

You sighed, looking at yourself for a minute, and left the room. You walked into the bedroom to see Chris on the bed, shoes already off, hoodie off to reveal a white t-shirt, and his hat was on the nightstand. You sat down on the bed beside him, kicking your shoes off, and he turned on some movie that you knew you weren’t going to be able to watch. You looked at him in the dim lighting of the room before laying your head on his shoulder. He leaned back against the wall and the two of you sat like that for a few minutes, laughing at the TV when you realized he’d put on Forgetting Sarah Marshall, one of your favorites. 

“This fucking movie,” you giggled. He laughed, too, but soon you were calm again. He must have been able to feel it because he pressed a kiss to your head. Did he want to start something now? You wondered. You looked up at him to see that he did, and before you could say anything or do anything his lips were on yours. 

You’d always suspected he was a good kisser, but you didn’t know how right you were until that moment. He nearly tackled you right off the bat, swinging one of his legs over your torso until you were trapped underneath him. He gave you what felt like a million kisses before coming up for air. 

“You like it rough?” He asked you in a low, husky voice. You were so close to him that you could see his pretty eyelashes up close for the first time. His pupils, those gorgeous eyes, were blown up with pure lust and a sick smile came over his face when you started nodding your head. He was the predator now, and you were the prey, and you didn’t even want to try to run away from it.

“I need to hear you, princess, do you like it rough?” He asked. 

“Y-yes,” you said. It came out more like a whimper, your voice dry from the soul-sucking kiss he’d given you. As soon as you spoke a soft smile came over his face, replacing the almost grinch-like grin he’d had a moment ago. 

“Good girl. We’re not gonna do the main event tonight, but I want to make you happy, is that okay?” 

“Okay,” you whined. You could feel heat between your legs, soaking your underwear and your tight jeans. How could he make you like that with just a few words and a kiss? You were met with another searing kiss, Chris’s hand moving up to your throat. He rest his hand right above your collarbone, right where you were the most vulnerable. His fingers pressed into your skin, a hang-nail on his thumb scratching at it. You could barely think because of the way he was shoving your tongue down his throat, giving you no opportunity to breathe between the body on top of you and the warmth in your mouth. His tongue slid past your lips so easily, inviting you to go to war with his, and you took it. His kisses alone were like fire burning you from the inside out. 

After what felt like minutes of just being there, kissing him with his hand on your throat, he pulled away. You wondered what he was going to do but he took his hands and put them down to your jeans, un-fastening the button. A limp, slightly greasy curl fell from behind his ear and with no hesitation, you tucked it back there. He gave you another sweet smile. His fingers fiddled with your button for a second before he started to pull the high-waisted jeans down. He chuckled when he saw that you were wearing underwear that matched your t-shirt. It was strange - you were always so afraid of your own body, looking down and seeing how close your stomach was to overlapping your toes, grabbing at your thighs wishing they would just disappear. But with Chris, you’d known him for so long and felt so comfortable with him that you didn’t even care he could see all of the stretch marks and the baby fat that had never left your stomach. 

“If I’d known you were this god damn beautiful,” he muttered under his breath as he pulled your jeans over your ankles, discarding them to the floor. You sat up in a moment of bravery, pulling your t-shirt off to reveal your bra. Chris’s eyes had starts in them - you never once recalled feeling that way with anyone. You’d only ever been a bundle of nerves before. Now, that bundle was unraveling swiftly. Chris took the time to pull his own shirt off, allowing you to see every dip and curve in his skin. You couldn’t help but grin. God, he was amazing. Your hands went to his waist, breathless at how the man in front of you was actually real. 

“You gonna let me take these off too?” He asked. “You wanna let me eat you out?” 

“Yeah,” you responded. You felt a chill run up and down your spine and then to your hips as Chris’s thumbs hooked in your underwear and pulled them down, revealing you to the cold air of your room. Your legs came open without a command to, and when you did Chris’s eyes turned black again. You’d shaved that morning, not even thinking you’d get any that night, just because you liked to keep it shaved. So your pussy was as open as a flower, right in front of him, pink and perfect and glistening with wetness that you couldn’t control. It was freezing, making you want to close your legs, but you didn’t. You laid there, breathless, and watched as Chris laid down on the bed. He laid in between your legs on his stomach, just for a second, looking. You felt the heat on your cheeks, the aching in your bones for even just a little bit of his air against you. 

The silence of the room was interrupted by Chris again, this time as he spat on your open pussy. It hit your bundle of nerves and you squirmed, earning hands on your hips once again. You jumped when you felt his cold fingers on them, rubbing your juices together. You’d never thought about how hot that was until then - fuck, you could’ve watched him do that all day. 

“That feel good?” He asked in a dark voice. 

“So good,” your lust-filled voice groaned back at him. You moved a piece of hair out of his eyes again, and as if to thank you, he moved to kiss your thighs. He said he was going to tease you, and tease he did - he kissed everywhere but the part of you he’d wet. You gasped at the feeling of his teeth on the thin, sensitive skin of your thighs, sucking little bruises into them. You were suddenly grateful that it was November and you weren’t wearing shorts anymore, otherwise the entire world would have been able to see what Chris had done to you. 

“Fuck, you’ve got the most perfect pussy I’ve ever fuckin’ seen,” Chris said. It almost sounded like a dream when he said it. Faraway and unreal. And then he made it real by stopping the teasing and going straight to the source. You threw a hand over your mouth, not wanting to make too much noise but still too surprised to stop it from happening. You let out a small, high-pitched yelp as his tongue hit your clit first. He sucked it right into his mouth first, as if all of the teasing was over, and just as you let out another moan he let it go. You could hear a chuckle and at the same time, more of your wetness fell out of you. He lapped it up with his tongue, licking a stripe up and then back down, and then around. He was slow and careful with his movements, but it felt like the times you’d been eaten out before - like his tongue was everywhere and nowhere at once. 

This was different, though. This was Chris. This was your best friend, eating you out in the darkness, trying to prove a point that had blown out of proportion. You had to stop another moan from leaving your lips when he sucked you into him, pressing his nose onto your clit by just an accident. 

“No, I wanna hear those pretty sounds,” he cooed. “Tell me when you start getting close, but don’t put any pressure on yourself, alright?” You nodded, your head falling back onto the pillow. “Just sit back and relax, baby girl, I got you.” 

You felt a finger probe at your entrance, and then two, and suddenly he was only rubbing his tongue against your clit and his fingers were inside of you. Your own fingers never felt this good, you thought, ever. He thrust them in and out of you and you could hear the lewd noises of everything going on over the movie. You were whimpering and whining and egging Chris on as he continued to eat you out. Your body was getting hotter and hotter and you were on the brink, but... what if you couldn’t? What if this was just like every other time when you got so close but never could? What if... Chris stopped what he was doing and looked up at you, pulling his fingers from you to grab at your hands. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay. You want me to stop?”

“No,” you said loudly. “Please don’t stop.”

“Okay, then, you gotta relax for me, sweetheart. Just cum when you want to, it’s okay.” You calmed down before he went back to work, sucking and lapping at you. It felt so good, even the sweat on your back felt good, that your legs started to close. He didn’t protest. He just let it happen, and suddenly you could hear him gasp for air before returning right to your wet, now swollen pussy. That was finally what tipped you over the edge. 

“Fuck!” You sobbed out, gasping for air as you felt at your highest. Chris took his mouth away from you and replaced it with his fingers, rubbing at your clit as your legs jerked and threatened to kick him. If you’d been looking at him you could see that he was smiling, that his beard was literally shining in the darkness with your wetness on him. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go slow now,” he said softly, more to himself than you, and his fingers slowed on your clit. When you finally stopped moving, still gasping for air, he disappeared. You didn’t know where he went at first, but after a minute of stillness he returned with your steel water bottle and a washcloth from your closet, one you rarely used. It was wet with warm water. 

“Thanks,” you managed to say, sitting up a little to drink. You twisted the lid off and your hands were shaking, but you drank the cold water. It breathed the life back to you, pulling you down from the highest of the highs you’d ever experienced. And then there was the heat of the cloth against you, and Chris’s soft sh, it’s okay, and then it was all over. He took the bottle and put it on your nightstand, then pulled your blankets out from underneath you. You were naked, still, but he didn’t seem to care. He tucked you in and started getting dressed, noticing that you were tired. 

“I’m gonna let you get some rest, okay?” He said. “Sound good?” 

“Okay.” He leaned down and kissed your temple, putting the TV remote over on the bed beside you. 

“Good night, gorgeous. Call me tomorrow morning and we’ll get some coffee, alright?”

“Okay.” You shut your eyes and fell asleep without a single care in the world. 

The next morning you woke up, noticing that you were naked above anything else. Normally you didn’t sleep naked, but you could feel your bare skin against your comforter and snuggled back into your blankets. You turned to your side, pulling the head of your phone charger out of the port and letting the cord fall to the ground. There was a single text. 

Chris: Just woke up. Coffee at Sam’s? 

Just woke up too. Sounds good. Just as you stopped typing, he started, and within a second he sent another text saying he’d be there to pick you up in half an hour. You pulled the covers off you only to realize that your legs were covered in little bruises and nibble marks from Chris. And then you realized the night before, but you didn’t freak out like you normally did. It felt good. You didn’t feel gross or dirty. You felt safe. Cared for. Satisfied. It was a change from the normal shame you felt after hooking up with someone. It was Chris, you realized. It was all him. 

You pulled on some sweats, knowing he would be wearing the same thing, and emerged from your apartment to see that his car was already out there. You smiled to yourself as you got in, seeing that he’d obviously slept well. 

“Well?” He asked. “How do you feel?”

“Like I just lost my god damn virginity,” you answered, only half joking. “Good. I feel really good.” He gave you a smile back, but it was a little hard to see underneath his famous Red Sox hat. 

“Good. I’m glad.” He drove over to the coffee shop the two of you frequented and you paid for your coffee and sat down where you could people-watch through the streets. 

“So last night was fine?” He asked. 

“Chris, that was the most... I’ve never done that with a guy before and come out feeling not dirty. I’ve also never fallen asleep like that.” He chuckled. 

“You deserved it. I wish I could've stayed, but the dog needed out. So would you want to do that again? Keep up this... thing?” 

“Yeah,” you answered with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever. “If you’re okay with it, yeah. Maybe this time I can suck out your soul instead.”  “I wouldn't say I sucked out your soul,” he rolled his eyes. “There’s much more where that came from.” 

“Good. I want it.” You were only half joking there, too. “Friends with benefits?” He lifted up his coffee cup and you did yours, fake clinking them together like glasses.

“Friends with benefits,” he answered back. “What are you doing tomorrow after those courtroom scenes? We could go to that bar you’ve been wanting to check out.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” The two of you talked about more mundane things before finally parting ways with a see you later, princess. He drove you back to your apartment and watched you get in, then left probably to go hang out with his family like he usually did on the weekends. You shut the door to your apartment, sighing dreamily as you decided to lay in bed for most of the day and think about how Chris felt the night before. 

You wondered if you’d ever be able to get him out of your head, or if he’d live there rent free, like the image of him eating your pussy out spread across your bed. 

A/N: This is my first time writing any kind of smut whatsoever, so I hope I did it justice! If anyone wants it, I have a full series for this prepared for this. 

[cowboyjen68]

Do you find the lesbian experience as lonely as I do? I'm in the middle of Bumblefuck, Missouri, surrounded by Trump supporters and rednecks. Other than my girlfriend, I've never met any other lesbians. Maybe it's just cause I'm 19 and haven't seen enough of the world yet but its getting kinda lonely. Have you ever felt the same way? How did you deal with it?

I went to college in Missouri way back in the late 80′s. My best friend Shawn is from small town Southern Missouri so I know a little bit about what you are talking about. 

THIS isolation is a universal Lesbian experience. I can promise you that you are absolutely not alone, not in the world and not in feeling like this. I hear it often from other lesbians.. of ALL generations, that we seek community with each other but it can be hard to find.  

We check the media and find few  characters that really ring true enough or feel real. In our lives we look around for even fleeting glances of each other in stores or at restaurants but for reasons such as anxiety, safety and fear we often don’t acknowledge each other. 

Yes I absolutely grew up knowing I liked girls and thinking that everyone else did to but it fades as we get older, except mine didn’t fade. I had no role models to show me that women can, in fact, be romantically and sexually attracted to other women. I had no idea it was a “thing” so I thought I was mistaken, or worse, broken, perverted, not right. For a long time I thought I was literally the only one. 

Then, as I grew up I knew enough to know lesbians existed but I couldn’t find any I related to. Certainly none in real life until college, at least none that were out and visible, even it they were obvious to me. My RA in college and her girlfriend showed me a glimpse of what was possible but after 19 years of denying it I was not ready. 

It was finding friends in college and then through my first girlfriend that helped me understand that lesbians come in all ways, shapes, sizes and personalities. I did not have to fit a mold to be a lesbian AND I was one of many and one in a community of women who shared our sexuality. 

Sadly, I drank quite a bit in college and beyond. Not to the point of addiction or damaging myself but probably more than I would of had I not been trying to dull the fear of who I was. I was not out until around 25 so you, at 19, are ahead of me. The best way to cope is what you are doing. Reach out on line and form lesbian community, even if, for now, it has to be on line. Eventually meeting in person will become possible. You make one lesbian friend, she has one and they have one and the next thing you know you have a friend group. Lesbians are amazing at forming strong community bonds. Trust in that and say “Hi” when you see one in the wild. 

For now, I hope that knowing you are not the only one, in fact, your feelings are quite universal for lesbian is of some comfort. Others, like you, are out there looking for you 

[pennylane85]

Sob Rock Album Review

Happy Album Release Day, John Mayer! Thank you for your love letter to the ‘80s, it’s a phenomenal album and I love it! 

Sob Rock Review

The album is growing on me and each time I listen to it I fall in love with it even more. I can’t wait to take it for a drive. When Mayer said “It’s time to love an album again,” I had no idea how right he’d be. Columbia has been advertising the crap out of it, which made me a little skeptical. Listening to Mayer talk about “Once Upon A Time in Hollywood” hitting him harder than he thought put a smile on my face. I loved that movie, I loved how it was Quentin Tarantino’s love letter to the late 60’s/early 70’s era, I saw it twice in theaters and it easily became one of my favorite Top 5 Movies.

“Sob Rock” sounds like an album you would have bought in the ‘80s, like if Mayer had a time machine, went back 1985 and put this record out, it would have been a hit and it sounds like that time period. While listening to it, I feel like I was a teen then which I wasn’t, I wasn’t born until 1985, but I feel like I should have been like 16, probably a little older for me to have seen The Beatles, but that’s another story/time plot in my before life that I won’t get into so for now I’m a 16 year-old kid giddy over her favorite musician’s new album.    

“The idea of Sob Rock is that it might have been something that already happened, but when you go looking it’s not. The idea of Sob Rock is to implant false memories into your brain, that’s what it did for me” said Mayer in an interview with Zane Lowe. “Can you have memories of things that never happened to you? Can you go back in time to and synthesize a piece of work that’s so true to the era that when you hear it your brain goes ‘no, no, this exists, no, no, I’m going to find it and you can’t.”

So here’s how I feel about each song, I’m not good at describing music.  

Last Train Home – This song gives me major Toto vibes and it should as Greg Phillinganes plays keys on it. Fave lyric: “I’m not a fallen angel, I just fell behind, I’m out of luck and I’m out of time.”

Shouldn’t Matter but It Does – This is my favorite song off the album and one of my favorite songs he’s written. There’s pain, there’s hurt, there’s regret. “You shoulda been sad instead of being so fucking mean.”  Using “fucking” in this line gives it the same depth of “bitch” in SDIABR. I just love it. Fave lyrics: “Now the road keeps rolling on forever, and the years keep pulling us apart, we lost something, I still wonder what it was” and “I shouldn’t leave you messages in every little song.”

New Light – The song fits the album and at first I wasn’t sure if it would b/c it was kind of out there back in 2018. It lightens the mood coming after SMBID.  

Why You No Love Me – I like the music on this one. I think it’s going to be one that has to grow on me though, lyrically. It’s also been stuck in my head all morning.

Wild Blue – Good transition from “Why You No Love Me,” dig the music, like a late 70’s vibe, loving the guitar solo. On the Clubhouse chat last night Mayer said he had the music for this song before he had the lyrics and that he called it “August 6th” b/c he didn’t know what to call it. I jumped off my couch and said “That’s my birthday.” So this song has just moved up to the top, lol. I know it has nothing to do w/my birthday, but August 6th is like a regular date even for someone w/a b-day on it so I was like “Whoa.” Fave lyrics: “I’m walking through wilderness, and living off the loneliness.” “All the tears I meant to cry, dance across the evening sky.” “I found myself when I lost you.” And you’ll never know, the unlikely beauty in letting you go.”

Shot in the Dark – This one is light and airy in a fun way, loving the keys, the beginning sounds like it’s the start of an ‘80s John Hughes film. I’m not going to comment on the cheesy video he released since it’s the next single. Fave lyrics: “And I wonder what it all means, strange conversation with you in my dreams, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do, I’ve loved seven other women and they all were you.”

Guess I Just Feel Like – Another song we’ve had since 2018 and it goes w/this album so well. I also think in this pandemic after life we’re living in this one says how we all felt in 2020 and still even feel in 2021 It means more now than it did in 2018/2019, you know?

Til the Right One Comes – The music is different on this one, this is one of the songs where I feel like I’ve heard it before, even though I haven’t and it’s driving me crazy! It gives me old school country vibes and seems like it could have been on “Paradise Valley.” Mayer said he wrote this song about his reason why he’s not married yet and had other people “I feel that too” and he said “I though it was just me.”  I relate to some of these lyrics, my Mom turns 60 next year and is wanting grandkids and thinks my brother is her only hope at that. She wants him to meet someone and to her I’m a loss cause at this point. So when someone asks why I’m single I’m just going to go tell them to listen to this song. Fave lyrics: “Some people ’round here been calling me, “Crazy”, some people say I’ll never love someone, that’s alright, give it time and maybe, I prove you wrong when the right one comes.”

Carry Me Away – I loved this song when it was released in 2019, loved the video and the carefree simple lyrics. I think in a time of the pandemic and now getting back to living this new normal life, this song is very much relatable. Mayer said he after he released this in 2019 he felt like there wasn’t enough music so he went back and tidied it up. Fave lyrics: “I want someone, to make some trouble, been way too safe, inside my bubble, take me out and keep me up all night, let me live on the wilder side of the light.”

All I Want Is To Be With You – Total Springsteen vibes and tone. Like in another life, this one belongs to Springsteen, which I think is a huge compliment to Mayer. Another song I feel like I’ve heard before even though I haven’t. Good job at creating these false memories, Mayer. Fave lyrics: “Dancing alone to déjà vu.”

[letterboxd]

The Eyes of TIFF.

Programmers for the 46th Toronto International Film Festival chat about the degrees of intensity they look for in a festival film, and help us zoom in on the gems from TIFF’s 2021 program, by genre and region.

“Intensity can be achieved in so many different ways. I know it when I feel it. You feel it in your gut.” —Cameron Bailey

It’s almost business as usual for TIFF this year. In-person events and red carpets return, but a healthy virtual program is also available for Canadian-based folk unable to travel, as the Covid-19 pandemic continues its onslaught.

TIFF co-head and artistic director Cameron Bailey has been with the festival for just over half its life, and says while some of the technology has changed in that time—“you’re no longer sitting in front of a TV monitor with VHS tapes… or waiting for 35mm prints to be spooled up and projected for you”—the “basic process of falling in love with movies” has not.

It’s a challenge, Bailey says, to winnow down the films he falls in love with for the final TIFF lineup. And even then, it is an annual challenge for film lovers tight on time to narrow down their own selections. So, ahead of the fest, Bailey joined fellow TIFF programmers for a Twitter Spaces conversation with our editor in chief Gemma Gracewood, in order to help Letterboxd members make some watchlist decisions.

Joining Bailey were Thom Powers (TIFF Docs), Peter Kuplowsky (Midnight Madness), Robyn Citizen (senior programming manager), Diana Sanchez (Special Presentations, Spain, Latin America, Portugal and the Caribbean), Diana Cadavid (International Cinema) and Nataleah Hunter-Young (Africa, “the Middle East” and the Black Diaspora).

Edited highlights of the conversation follow, so have your watchlists close at hand.

‘The Eyes of Tammy Faye’, written by Abe Sylvia and directed by Michael Showalter.

Thank you all for joining me today. You watch a lot of films as you’re going through the selection process. How does one make itself stand out to you? Cameron Bailey: For every programmer it’s going to be something different. For me, it comes down to an intangible quality of intensity. That can be emotional intensity, it can be the intensity of formal elements, the cinematography, the performances, the writing. Some sense of concentrated emotion and momentum, where you get the sense that a filmmaker is trying to find a way to distill the essence of what they’re trying to do and communicate it to an audience through all of the tools that cinema provides. That doesn’t mean the movie has to be fast-paced or have a lot of dramatic jolts, as intensity can be achieved in so many different ways. I know it when I feel it. You feel it in your gut.

What would you say are some of the performances that have struck you the most this year? CB: Jessica Chastain is the lead in a film we’re premiering called The Eyes of Tammy Faye, directed by Michael Showalter. If you were watching TV in the ’80s and ’90s, you will remember Tammy Faye Bakker, and her husband, Jim Bakker, who were TV televangelists. You couldn’t miss Tammy, as she had these giant eyes and makeup with giant eyelashes, and this is essentially her story. It’s hard to know at first that it’s Jessica Chastain underneath all of that makeup, but she gives a performance that’s not just about the exterior. It’s about a woman who is shaped by a difficult upbringing, shaped by this incredibly deep need she has for affirmation, to be on TV, to be in front of the camera, and that guides her decisions into extremes. She’s fantastic in it.

Benedict Cumberbatch is back with two films. He is the lead in Jane Campion’s The Power of the Dog. It’s an understated, slow-burn performance in some ways, which he can do so well. He’s also in a film that’s on the opposite end of the dramatic spectrum, The Electrical Life of Louis Wain. It’s based on a real person, and when you watch the film you will be amazed that this person actually existed. Wain, in the early part of the twentieth century, was a prodigious painter who turned his talent towards painting thousands of cats. Cute cats, big eyed cats, fuzzy, adorable cats. He’s largely responsible for cats becoming as big as they are as domesticated pets. It’s a wild story.

I’m still recovering from watching The Power of the Dog’s trailer earlier today, and had to promise myself that I wouldn’t take up this entire time talking about Jane Campion’s obsession with hands. The Spencer trailer dropped as well, which has a lot of buzz around it. CB: Yes, Spencer is a remarkable portrait. Some of us remember Princess Diana, some of us have watched The Crown, and so have a very recent image, but this is a completely different performance that Kristen Stewart gives. She’s remarkable in it. I think everybody’s going to want to see this film.

‘Charlotte’, written by David Bezmozgis and Erik Rutherford, directed by Tahir Rana and Éric Warin.

Are there any other titles you’d like to get the buzz started for, Cameron? CB: On the animation side, I would say people should look out for a film called Charlotte, by Tahir Rana and Éric Warin. It’s a Canadian film telling a story based in World War II Europe about a woman in a Jewish family [exiled] in France during the occupation of France by the Nazis. She can feel what is coming. She decides to paint everything about her life, and her family’s life, trying to document what she feels is going to be very fragile, and what she might lose altogether.

As it turns out, before the end of the war she was taken away to a death camp by the Nazi regime, and she didn’t survive, but her paintings have survived and they were turned into a book, along with the story of her family. The animation is just gorgeous. I think that’s one that awards bodies are going to be paying attention to. It’s one of the best animated films I’ve seen in quite a while.

Thom, what are some of the documentary titles that you and the team think those awards bodies will have their eyes on? Thom Powers: A big one to pay attention to is The Rescue, by Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin, who won the Oscar for their last film, Free Solo. Their new film is looking at the Thai cave rescue [in 2018], when a group of young soccer players and their coach got trapped by monsoon floods in a cave. When we were watching the news, we were seeing the journalists reporting from outside the cave. What this film does is bring you inside that rescue using footage that’s never been seen before. Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin are masters at the documentary adventure genre, and also [at] bringing a real human side to the people involved, which they do again here.

I’ll also mention Becoming Cousteau, by Liz Garbus, and Julia, a film about Julia Child, directed by Julie Cohen and Betsy West, who made the Oscar-nominated documentary RBG a few years ago. So many of us during the pandemic had to rediscover ourselves in the kitchen, and Julia Child’s life was about making people feel more comfortable in the kitchen, which makes it a terrific film to watch at this time.

‘Saloum’, directed by Jean Luc Herbulot.

Peter, what’s a movie from this year’s Midnight Madness lineup you’d love to recommend? Peter Kuplowsky: We’ve got a lot of firsts at Midnight this year. We have Saloum, the first time a West African film has ever been in Midnight. We’ve also got Zalava, which is the first Iranian film to play in Midnight. Our opening film for Midnight Madness is Julia Ducournau’s Titane, which is playing at the Princess of Wales theater, and will be a spectacle to behold. When I’m looking for Midnight Madness, I like hearing the audience make certain noises in the room, whether that’s a gasp or screams or laughter. I feel that every note on the scale is going to be played during Titane by the audience.

Brilliant. Now, we’re going to bring in some audience questions. First up is Vincent, who says that one of their favorite films is Georges Franju’s Eyes Without a Face, and asks if there are any films in this year’s TIFF lineup you could recommend for a fan of that film? PK: I’ve really been encouraging people to check out the films I just mentioned, Zalava and Saloum, and I think Zalava especially would fit here, as it’s more of a horror-drama. It begins as something that is steeped in the supernatural, but as it escalates it becomes something of a pitch-black comedy while still maintaining a gravitas to it. I think it’s one of the most fascinating discoveries in the genre space this year.

CB: I’d also add Good Madam, by Jenna Bass, from South Africa. It is a chilling movie, with a bit of an Eyes Without a Face vibe. If you like that sort of approach to cinema, I think you’ll like that.

PK: Vengeance Is Mine, All Others Pay Cash just won the Golden Leopard at Locarno. With a title like that, this is a film that feels like it’s going to be sort of a strictly pulp crime film, but it’s so much more. It’s deeply romantic, incredibly eclectic, and beautifully shot on 16mm film. It feels like a film that was hidden away, shot in the late ’70s or early ’80s. It’s a throwback to 1980s Hong Kong action films, while also, I can’t stress this enough, being one of the most romantic films in the festival. You’ll fall in love with this relationship while it’s also working in fight sequences and magical realism.

Nataleah, what’s something you would recommend from your TIFF selections from Africa, “the Middle East” and the Black Diaspora? Nataleah Hunter-Young: One I’d highly recommend is Costa Brava, directed by Mounia Akl, from Lebanon. Even amidst what’s going on in Lebanon right now, the film offers a beautiful and engrossing portrait of a family that includes a grandmother who’s a non-actor, but has impeccable comedic timing (that travels through the subtitles if you don’t speak Arabic).

‘Snakehead’, written and directed by Evan Leong.

Robyn, what’s a movie that surprised you most during your selections this year? Robyn Citizen: I always recommend that people check out our Discovery section because that’s where we find new talent and nurture new voices. The film that really surprised me this year was Snakehead, by Evan Jackson Leong. Some people will know him from a documentary called Linsanity, and he did another documentary about evangelism in Korea. Snakehead has been a ten-year labor of love for him. He had to do a Kickstarter for the film, which is loosely based on the life of a woman named Sister Ping, who had a human trafficking ring that was the biggest trafficking ring for about 20 years.

The film tackles what’s going on now with vulnerable populations being trafficked into America, in particular Chinatown in the US, and the main character, played by Shuya Chang, has to fight to find her daughter. It’s an exciting film, and very moving. It’s extremely tightly edited, and it looks fantastic.

We’ve got our next question here from a member who says their favorite genre is science-fiction. While Dune is at the top of their watchlist, are there any other sci-fi selections you could recommend? PK: I would recommend After Blue (Dirty Paradise), which is a perverse science-fiction by Bertrand Mandico. It reminds me a lot of the French animated film Fantastic Planet. This one is about a planet which is inhospitable to men because of the way hair grows. The plot follows a young teenage girl who accidentally unleashes a notorious criminal that she and her hairdresser mother have to stalk through the alien landscape that is full of bizarre creatures and liquids and gases. I feel it’s kind of like the inverse of Dune, and an opportunity to explore a bizarre ecosystem.

NHY: I would totally insist that this member see Neptune Frost, from Saul Williams and Anisia Uzeyman. It’s a difficult film to put into words, but I’ve been summing it up by calling it an Afro-sonic sci-fi musical.

Whoa, that sounds like a whole new subgenre. NHY: That’s just the beginning. There’s a lot to experience in this film. It’s a cosmic romance that follows an intersex hacker and a coltan miner who make their way to this kind of dream space where they connect with others as they travel through these lush mountainous regions of Rwanda and Burundi. It’s a beautiful anti-narrative that is impeccably colored and totally consuming. It’s a must-see for anybody who loves cinema.

Diana, what would you say is the best debut feature that you’ve seen among this year’s international selections? Diana Cadavid: There are so many wonderful new talents, but I think I’ll go with an Argentinian filmmaker named Agustina San Martín. Her film, To Kill the Beast, is a co-production between Argentina, Brazil and Chile, and she worked for nine years to put this all together. She started working on it when she was 21, and we were actually having a conversation yesterday about her process, and how it’s a film that deals with the growth of a woman, and female desire. There’s this idea of the beast, something that’s either from inside or from outside forces, trying to control the human mind and body. It’s a very interesting film, gorgeously shot and very atmospheric.

‘Yuni’, written by Prima Rusdi and Kamila Andini, directed by Andini.

We’ve got another question here from David, who says their favorite films are humanistic dramas, citing Hirokazu Kore-eda as one of their favorite directors. Would anybody have any recommendations for David? CB: I can recommend at least one film, called Yuni, an Indonesian film from Kamila Andini. This is a naturalist drama about a high-school girl who is one of the top students in her class, and has a great group of friends. We slowly begin to see that her life is being constrained by one man after another, and then something happens at school, which begins to narrow her possibilities for her future. She’s trying to figure out things like sexuality and romance and what she wants to do with her future, and all of these obstacles keep getting placed in her path. It’s told in a very gentle way, but very incisive as well. Each scene really matters, taking you deeper inside this girl’s life.

RC: Our senior programmer Giovanna Fulvi programmed a film called Aloners, a South Korean film by Hong Sung-eun. This is her first feature, and it’s very much a film of our time. It is about a woman who works in the gig economy at a credit-card customer-service call center. It’s a very transient existence. She doesn’t talk to anybody, she eats by herself, she doesn’t really want to associate with the people in her apartment building. One day, one of her neighbors who has tried to talk to her many times passes away, and she has to re-interrogate the way that she’s been living her life, and figure out if it’s worth starting to form some human connections.

Next up is a question from Matt Neglia, from the Next Best Picture podcast. Matt says that he’s a massive fan of epics, whether they’re three hours long or just telling an expansive story with lots of world-building. Apart from Dune, are there any other films in the lineup that you would describe as epic? CB: While Joachim Trier’s The Worst Person in the World might not strike you on reading its synopsis as an epic, I think it actually is an emotional epic. It’s the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out her life. Her romance with one boyfriend doesn’t quite fit the bill for her, and she begins this looking and exploring. Trier and his writer and lead actor do remarkable work, blowing open the idea of a person trying to define who they are at this turning point in their life. They make these stakes massive and they have all kinds of interesting, innovative, formal elements in [the film] as well. It’s incredibly cinematic. If you’ve seen Joachim Trier’s other films, this is kind of the conclusion of a trilogy that he’s made.

‘Listening to Kenny G’, directed by Penny Lane.

Next up, we have Sarah, who is looking for movies about music, and also some body horror. CB: We’ve got a number of great music docs this year. I have to mention Dionne Warwick, the queen of Twitter, who is the subject of Dionne Warwick: Don’t Make Me Over. It tells the story of this incredibly talented, determined and glamorous musician who broke so many barriers. She toured in the south during the Jim Crow era, making gains as a Black woman in the music industry and in the pop-music industry, not the so-called race-record or Black-music industry, which simply wasn’t done at the time. This documentary tells that story, and also shows her later work in the ’80s contributing to the fight against stigma and hysteria during the AIDS crisis.

PK: I’ll follow up Cameron by mentioning the Alanis Morissette film Jagged. We’ve also got a film about the great jazz pianist, Oscar Peterson, called Oscar Peterson: Black + White. Lastly, there’s a film about Kenny G, called Listening to Kenny G.

Diana Sanchez: For the body horror, I’d like to mention the debut film by Ruth Paxton, titled A Banquet. It’s about a young woman who insists her body is no longer her own, and is a service to a higher power. Her mother has no idea what to think. She stops eating, and her mother doesn’t know [whether] to believe her or not. I love Ruth Paxton’s work, the way she shoots the film, the way she shoots the food. It’s almost, as she refers to it, pornographic. It looks delicious and gross all at the same time.

I’d also like to flip to comedy quickly to mention Official Competition. The film stars Penélope Cruz, Antonio Banderas and Oscar Martínez. Cruz plays a filmmaker who puts together a well-known theater actor and a well-known box-office glamor guy, played by Banderas. The film speaks to the tension between high art and more popular art, testing those boundaries. It’s incredibly funny.

We’d love to squeeze a few more films out of everyone for our watchlists. Could you each recommend one film and try to sell it in ten words or less? CB: Let me try. Sundown, by Michel Franco. Tim Roth falls apart beautifully in Mexico.

TP: I’m going to go with the Mexican documentary, Comala. Filmmaker Gian Cassini explores the legacy of his father, who was a Tijuana hitman.

PK: I’ll go with Saloum, which is basically From Dusk Till Dawn in West Africa.

RC: I’m going to say The Wheel, a movie by Steve Pink. If you like Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, this is like that with a younger couple in a much more humane, intimate key.

DS: I’ll say I’m Your Man, a sci-fi where Maren Eggert dates a robotic Dan Stevens.

PK: I know Diana has been recommending a film called OUT OF SYNC, about an artist who begins to experience the sound of the world going out of sync. She starts hearing sounds from the past because people and things are out of sync with their surroundings.

NHY: I’ll go with The Gravedigger’s Wife, directed by Khadar Ahmed. It showcases the horn of Africa unlike you’ve ever seen it on screen.

Finally, for Cameron: with fall coming, what is the best TIFF 2021 movie to watch under a blanket, either because it’s cozy or because you’re terrified, or both? CB: Great question, which gives me a chance to talk about Earwig, the new film by Lucile Hadžihalilović. If you’ve seen Innocence or Evolution, her two most recent films, you’re prepared in terms of tone, but you’ve not even seen Lucille make a film quite like this. It’s eerie, disturbing, hypnotic, mesmerizing. You can’t stop watching, but you’re always afraid that something awful and horrifying is about to happen… and maybe it might.

‘Night Raiders’, written and directed by Danis Goulet.

To bring it all back home, what would you say is the Canadian film of 2021? CB: It’s always hard to say, but I think in a year where we have Danis Goulet’s feature Night Raiders, that’s got to be the one. Danis has made some exceptional short films over the last few years that people might know. Her feature takes on the horrific, devastating story of residential schools and children torn from Indigenous families and put in institutions where the goal was to erase their Indigenous identity. She takes that terrible, real history that we’re grappling with right now in Canada, and turns it into a piece of speculative fiction, a kind of propulsive thriller.

By turning it into fiction rather than reality she can use all of the tools of cinema to tell a terrific story that’s exciting and has high stakes, but also has this deep resonance of a truth that we are, I hope, coming to terms with in this country.

The Toronto International Film Festival runs from September 9 to 18. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity. Follow TIFF on Letterboxd, and follow our Festiville HQ for regular festival updates.

[jemfisch]

⌠ MASON GOODING, 21, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, JEREMY “JEM” FISCHMAN II! according to their records, they’re a SECOND YEAR year, specializing in ADVANCED ENCRYPTION & “MACGUYVER” SURVIVAL SKILLS AND NAVIGATION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (old hip hop blaring from headphones, a broken crtv with the cords ripped out and repurposed, the smell of spray paint graffiti, brightly colored shirts with 80s patterns). when it’s the (cancer)’s birthday on 06/23/99, they always request their ICE CREAM SANDWICHES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kati, 24, she/her, est ⍀ @gallagherintro

STATS / PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS / CLASSES

INSPIRATION

fox mulder (the x files)

hogarth hughes (the iron giant)

will turner (pirates of the carribean)

robin hood

george weasley (harry potter)

aladdin

spike spiegel (cowboy bebop)

mark watney (the martian)

BACKGROUND + CLICK FOR BIO

his parents were high school sweethearts and married just before they attended college at harvard together, securing careers at the kennedy space center. 

jeremy fischman sr dies under mysterious circumstances in a lab accident and ellen is twenty-eight and left alone to raise baby jem. things only go downhill from here. jeremy was the love of her life and she becomes obsessed with his disappearance and all kinds of conspiracy theories, blows a bunch of her money. it doesn’t take long for her to be fired, savings blown on expensive equipment or sunk into internet hoaxes

they move to a rough neighborhood in gainesville where jem grows up. he likes jem, not jeremy, jeremy is his father. he’s never experienced the perfect life his parents used to live, the white picket fence, the shiny space shuttles. he’s only got this, and honestly, he doesn’t hate it. 

the neighborhood’s rough, but there’s a lot of fun characters, and his mom is practically his best friend – aside from his next-door neighbor, NOAH WARD.

jem’s mom does odd hacking jobs from the comfort of their home. some of them are shadier than others, she makes connections with a lot of private investigators in town and looks into people’s cheating husbands and tracks down birth parents and missing people. she does pro bono work too, a kindhearted woman, she can never say no to those in need, even if she’s not so fortunate herself. as jem gets older, he learns everything that he knows from her

every summer vacation growing up, jem and his mom would pack their bags and make home in a camper van, traveling across the country. in some ways, this was great mother-son bonding, but this wasn’t why they did it. his mom never gave up looking for the truth about her husband,  but hacking into secure, top-secret government databases is nothing like hacking into the gainesville city hall, it’s hard work, and they travel around the country methodically so that their signal cannot be traced. every summer they get close, but never close enough.

when noah moves away for college, jem stays home. he’s not comfortable leaving his mom. 

he keeps up with hacking jobs and keeping up with looking for his dad on the side. he doesn’t think they’ll ever find him, his mom holds out hope but jem is eighteen years old and a bit more jaded now, he figures the guy’s just really dead and well, the conspiracy of it all matters less and less when he knows that either way, he’s still grown up without him. 

a lot of jem’s social life is online, whether it’s friends from hacking forums or via soundcloud.

when he’s not hacking, he’s making music. his passions of technology and music mix and he creates his own beats and soundcloud, mashing together songs, and even putting together a popular meme track or two used on tiktok. 

it’s actually a bit lucrative, but that’s not why he does it. doesn’t even really use his name, catch him on soundcloud…username? uncutjems.

every time he and his mom get close to finding his dad, there’s just more to do, and it’s almost like someone KNOWS what they’re doing. 

jem’s right about that – he is being watched. since noah’s admission to gallagher, recruiters have been aware of the boy who taught her everything she knew. 

when gallagher makes the choice to start allowing male students, an agent shows up at his door offering him a once in a lifetime chance at a free education. 

jem doesn’t have any strong ambition to go into espionage, per say, but he won’t say no to advanced classes taught by some of the world’s brightest minds – and a chance to reunite with his best friend. however, he hasn’t stopped trying to get into the government’s records and still has ambitions of going into music production.

PERSONALITY. 

INTUITIVE. jem has a natural intuition about things and he trusts himself and his own opinions about things. i suppose you could perceive this as confidence, but honestly he’s just really SMART, good at absorbing facts even subconsciously and putting things together about people or situations. in a sense, he has a habit of being correct – he definitely comes off as intelligent, even though his grades in school have never been very good. he just has different priorities. 

LOYAL. make a friend out of jem and you have a friend for life, he’ll take your secrets to the grade and he’s pretty trustworthy. he’s the type of guy that gets along with pretty much everyone but he has a few select, close friends because he is somewhat intentional about the company that he keeps. he’s friendly and kind, but he keeps his inner circle of people he trusts close and somewhat exclusive. 

PROTECTIVE. kind of has papa bear energy, you know ? maybe the dad friend of your friend group, but in a laid back way, he might not seem like he’s the type to spring into action but call someone close to him a rude name and you’ll see his fist coming at your face. he’s protective but not possessive, i guess is how i would describe it, but i think he gives pretty good advice as well because he’s really hoping the best for ppl. 

MALINGERING. jem is kind of a SLACKER! at least, that’s what teachers have called him in the past, he simply does not dream of labor. he’s just kind of doing his own thing, will fake sick to skip a class, whatever else, even though he likes producing music he doesn’t really have a great ambition for anything, spy or otherwise. as long as he has a good computer setup, then he’s fucking chilling. 

MOODY. he’s laid back to the umpteenth degree when it comes to work or obligations, but he does have sort of mood swings, i guess he’s the sort of person that you would describe as grumpy at times ? definitely NOT a morning person and when he’s in an off mood, he can be hard to interact with or snap out of. 

DISORGANIZED. the sort of person to throw his stuff across the bed or leave piles of clothes on the floor to deal with later, maybe he’s not your favorite roommate for this reason. he has a habit of losing things that he just set down or whatever, things like that. 

HEADCANONS.

tbh you can think of him like...beca in pitch perfect ! he’s here bc he was offered a free education and he’s cool with that, but he’d rather be pursuing a future in music. a damn good hacker, though, and the gallagher recruiters are hoping that with some ‘ambition’ he’ll want to work for the government someday. 

played baseball throughout middle and high school and he’s fairly athletic – he can get pretty competitive when he plays, it kind of brings out a side in him that most people don’t expect to see because he’s fairly chilled out most of the time 

a boss with a slingshot. there is no reason for this, but he had one as a kid and he used to chase squirrels away from the bird feeders outside their home. he has great eyesight and his aim is great, but it’s literally the only weapon he’s proficient in

he’s not tiktok famous for his face, but he has two tiktok famous songs...he’s made like 12k in record deals for selling the rights, it’s just the kind of shit that he does goofing around in music software and he has a good ear for what is going to be catchy

he’s NOT a morning person, definitely a late night kind of guy, will stay up until all hours just fucking around on the computer and then he’ll sleep until 1 or 2pm, at least. getting up for morning classes is a struggle for them and he has slept through them on occasion.

funky sweaters, crazy socks, fun-patterned shirts, he dresses a bit like a circus tent at times, but you can’t say that he doesn’t have style – he dresses well, but it’s like he’s stepped out of a 90s cartoon or something

if he makes u a playlist he either wants to be ur friend so fucking bad or he’s head over heels in love with u

really likes making new things with old technology, he loves taking the macguyver courses and learning new things and he’s actually built his own computer and a lot of his own musical instruments 

usually has a couple bandaids because he’s a bit accident prone or can lose his focus when working in the lab. when he gets in his own head while working on a project, he literally cannot hear anything else – sort of selective hearing

likes fucking around with spray paint, if he can, he’s got a bit of an artistic streak and he doodles stickers on sticker paper sometimes. you can probably catch his tag around campus or even stuck to the latops of his close friends, it’s just a little man with a tv for a head. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

HACKING JOBS – if you STILL need a hacker for any of your wild backstory connections, jem is a great bet. he’s been doing paid jobs for people professionally since he could type, and he’s sort of an ace at getting in and out without leaving a trace...and he’s no gossip. so, your secrets would be safe with him. 

SMOKING BUDDIES – people that he can smoke up with, talk about life, talk about the bullshit of gallagher, but also people he can laugh with that don’t make him feel stressed or concerned about the future. 

MUSIC MAKING BUDDIES – if your character makes music, maybe they can collaborate on something...we’re about to drop the hottest mixtape of all time right here at gallagher academy i will teach myself garageband for this shit...jk but maybe

EX ON BAD TERMS – someone he dated last year...i’m imagining it was their first year and things were really great for the first semester, but shit fell apart second semester along with the school. maybe all the drama on campus caused distance, maybe he wasn’t there for them when they needed it, or maybe they got jealous of the way he always prioritizes noah ? a combination of things, we can hash out the details since i know some of you had some pretty angsty things going on second sem, and maybe it’s awkward now because it feels like there’s unfinished biz. 

EX ON GOOD TERMS / LOVERS TO FRIENDS – maybe someone that was a rebound and things didn’t really work and they saw that, maybe he wasn’t over his ex or whatever but they were able to stay friends ? it’s up to you how your muse feels about it but i want an ex that jem also has no hard feels about and actually is maybe sort of protective of them and cares a lot about them finding happiness, they bonded hardcore. 

EX-FLING – idk maybe they were hooking up for a while and then one of them started seeing someone else or one of them caught feels so they don’t hook up any more but it was super fun when they did !! also down for it to have been like a summer fling and once the summer ended. 

BROS – idk i would like for him to have a squad or something for him to just fuck around with <3 but it’s wholesome and they respect women

ONLINE FRIEND (ANONYMOUS) – he spent a lot of time on forums online and stuff so i’d love for him to have an online friend !! maybe cute if they just know each other by their screen names rn and we can do a bunch of text chats and maybe they both know they go to gallagher but they simply. haven’t met idk

ONLINE FRIENDS – also friends he met online that aren’t anonymous they could’ve met through any number of forums but probably have similar interests like music or hacking so they’re long time homies , someone he’s known almost as long as noah

ONE NIGHT STAND – self explanatory. maybe they’re super good friends and now it’s kind of awkward now and they want to get back to a place of normalcy but it’s simply not normal, maybe they fucked things up by breakin the tension on like. halloween or some shit. 

FRIENDZONED – someone jem accidentally friendzoned and maybe he doesn’t even realize it himself but they had a thing for him and he really just didn’t realize it bc he can’t tell unless you spell it out for him.

CLASS RIVALS – someone who tries really hard and cares about class a bunch vs. jem who doesn’t give a fuck but he keeps making the grade without really trying, so they’re ? bitter about it ? and so the two really do not hit it off because of that and they go back and forth , i just rly want a classroom rivalry. maybe even this rivalry and them nagging him actually motivates to try in the class just to piss them off 

 ENEMY – this person shared a secret with jem and then it somehow got out on the gossip blog idk ! they think jem told and now they hate him. 

anything pls let’s chat !

[pedros-mustache-main]

tag your mutuals as different historical time periods

this took me a very long time because i went HARD so i put it under the cut to spare you the long post. 

if i forgot someone, i am very sorry; i have the memory span of a goldfish. i also went with people i know well enough to place somewhere in history forgive me 

keep sending in your history questions, friends!

@deacyblues: 1920s united states (and not just because she cut her hair to look like a flapper recently). i think pearl has this effervescence about her that is really characteristic of the age. she’s incredibly positive, despite what’s going on in the world around her. the 20′s sucked in the u.s. (the great depression being first and foremost a bummer) and they suck again 100 years later. but pearl’s got that joy and positivity that was typified by the flapper, so good on her! can’t relate!

@almightygwil: 1880s united states. you cannot tell me that ellie isn’t anything other than a farmer’s wife in the wild west at the turn of the century. first, she has the hair for it. second, she wants kids more than anything. third, i’m about 95% certain she gives the best hugs. those are the only qualifications for being the caroline ingalls of my heart. 

@six-bloodyminutes: this is wildly specific but late imperial russia. mo is simultaneously in your face (in a good way!) but also mysterious. russia around the turn of the century and at the beginning of the great war is much the same. like, i feel like i know mo? but then she’ll say something and i’m like ???? and i have to process it for a hot second. (like the other night when her dorm room almost caught on fire and she was surprisingly chill about it?) at the turn of the century russia is trying to catch up with the modernization of the west but also trying to hold onto its own unique roots while also trying to gain more ground. russia just popped out of nowhere and surprised people, and i feel like mo does the same—only in a more positive light.

@archaicmusings: ancient greece. just hear me out on this one: not only does cal want to work with antiquity but she also really resembles the intellictual searching of that age. a lot of time of ancient greece and rome was spent just figuring out how to be a good human in society, and i think cal is an example of striving for that goodness? if that makes sense?

@ineloqueent: 17th century europe. i associate tina with the age of enlightenment. she’s incredibly smart, specifically in the area of math and science, and would have no issue hosting her own salon and debating the ideals of logic and reason long into the evening.

@joemazzmatazz: 1980s uk. literally self-explanatory. regan is too hardcore to be my friend, and i can absolutely see her f’ing sh*t up in the name of punk. if i saw her in the 80′s, i would be intimidated.

@im-an-adult-ish: 1940s united states. during wwii and until the mid-50s there was an all-american female professional baseball team, and you cannot tell me meredith wouldn’t have been on that team. also: the era is a very hearty one. because of the war and then the start of the korean war literally right after wwii, i think people during that era were incredibly tough. meredith seems tough to me (in a good way!). 

@hijackmy-heart: honestly to be honest, when i think of nat i think of female pirates. i can’t explain it. there’s no set date for this because the few known female pirates spanned several hundred years, but if i had to pinpoint a date i’d say early 1800s. i think i think of women like cheng i sao and anne bonny when i think of nat because nat is not to be underestimated. like she could cut a bitch and smile while doing it—and i love that.

@kiwi-hardy: 1990s uk. i associate leah and regan with the roughly same era, but different contexts. while regan screams more pop punk to me, leah radiates the setting/era of “derby girls” and i chalk that up to her meme usage.

whew that was a lot!

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.76

Nursing his right arm, Lance was still slightly shocked he’d been shot by Krolia. He couldn’t say he didn’t have it coming, following her voice calling his name like he had, but Krolia... Jesus. What’d he got himself into. Keith was furious. Krolia seemed to take it all in good humour. Lance was trying his hardest to keep the peace between mother and son... but she just might be the weirdest person who’d come into his life lately.

Being strong for Keith, he’d pulled his shirt back on, letting Keith do the buttons for him because he knew how much his boyfriend was worrying. Maybe if he’d stopped to think, he would have realised it was all a prank... yet, when that gun had come out, all he’d thought about was Keith not getting shot on his watch. Following the sound of Coran’s voice, the whole group was waiting with him as he tried to calm down a raging Pidge who demanded to see him. Krolia was standing towards the back of the group looking rather amused. Wrapping his good arm around his gremlin, Pidge went straight for his nuts, before realising it was him and throwing herself into his hold

“You fucking scared me!”

Scared him? He was a hair away from being hit in the balls!

“I’m fine. A little bruise and good as new”

“You’re being a lying little shit, aren’t you?”

Lance kissed Pidge on the top of the head. She was just the right height for him to abuse his older brother rights

“Totally. Nah. I’m okay. Are you guys okay?”

“We were until Shiro started shaking and said you’d been shot! What the fuck man!”

Pidge pulled out of his grip, Lance yelping as she punched his bad arm. Staggering into Keith as he clutched his arm tighter, glasses falling off his face thanks to his lack of coordination, his foot landing on them where they were crunched as Keith cried

“Lance!”

Keith wrapped his arms around him as he caught him, hand firm against his now extra sore arm, Lance groaned

“Not that arm...”

Keith swearing

“Shit!”

They were ridiculous. They’d make an amazing comedy act. The vampire who kept getting himself hurt and his boyfriend who kept finding the spots by accident.

Coran patted his shoulder... his sore shoulder. Lance wondering if this was how he died?

“I think maybe we should all sit down for a pot of tea. Krolia, will you be joining us?”

God. Yes. Yes, Coran! You beautiful fae bastard! Anything so he wouldn’t get hit or nearly hit or hugged to hard again! Krolia’s reply held traces of a giggle at their antics. It wasn’t Lance’s fault he was clumsy. That’s what happened when you wore a prescription that wasn’t right for them suddenly got attacked by a wild gremlin

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything”

Coran fetched a tray of tea as the rest of them sat around a conference table that was thankfully not the one they’d be at when Kolivan visited. Krolia sat across from Keith, smile on her lips as Lance tried not to look at her. She was beautiful. Black hair streaked with purple. Features so much like Keith’s. Keith was a good foot taller than his mother, but Lance knew Krolia could easily whoop his boyfriend’s arse. Hunk looked nervous again. Pidge was sitting between him and Lance. And the silence was awkward as hell. He may as well have died in the alley for how awkward things were. What was a little shooting between friends? Mentally he’d placed a bet on Shiro talking first... He’d have won $10 if he’d taken his own bet... but he wasn’t exactly sure how to pay himself.

“Krolia. We had the suspicion you’d arrive soon. How are you finding Platt?”

Lance wasn’t moody... not jealous that Shiro was being the cool mature one

“Fine. It’s nice to see you, Curtis and Keith again. Let’s be honest here, I’m more pleased to find Keith safe and well, and even more interested on how he came to be dating a vampire”

Lance flushed, sliding down in his chair, aggravating his shoulder as he did

“Are you saying there’s something wrong with my brother?!”

Bless Pidge! Krolia had no idea how mad Pidge could get

“Not at all. He seems to be quite apt. Passed the boyfriend test with flying colours”

“Good, because he’s been through enough shit. It doesn’t matter if this is his first relationship. He’s about as good at it as Keith”

Aaaaaaand he was sliding further down in his chair.

Across the table Krolia laughed

“If he was as good as Keith, an inability to converse and they’d never have gotten past awkward friendship”

Now Lance was annoyed. Sitting up to fast, his poor arm was wracked with shooting pains

“Keith talks to me about all kinds of things. He’s a good man. He’s funny, and he’s weird, and his haircut is fresh out of the ‘80’s and I like that about him”

Krolia raised an eyebrow. She was wearing an expression he’d seen so many times on his boyfriend’s face

“Keith is like, he’s a good guy. He makes Lance happy, and we’re friends, right, man”

Hunk’s awkwardness made Lance’s heart swell. Not only was the big guy ignoring his nerves, but he saw Keith as Keith, despite having so much to wrap his head around.

Shiro laughed

“I’m afraid Keith’s gone and made some pretty good friends here, Krolia. He’s really come out of his shell since meeting Lance. It’s been good for him. And I’m pretty sure you’re going to be in trouble if you tease him”

Krolia shrugged

“I’m happy for him. I really am. As long as he’s continuing to be careful, we can cover the fact he’s fallen for a vampire”

Keith slammed his hands on the table. Lance wincing. His boyfriend was still an anger loaf at heart

“I don’t want to cover the fact I’m dating Lance. He’s... he’s my boyfriend and probably my best friend. You don’t get to act like a mother when it suits you. Seriously, why did you even come?”

“To see you. I know you may find it hard to believe it, but I do care for you”

“Right. Like you cared when you dropped off the face of the fucking planet and abandoned me after dad died!”

Sadness washed over Krolia’s face

“I didn’t know he’d died and by the time I did, it was safer for you to stay in the system”

Oh, Lord. Krolia was another Keith. Keith was so angry he was blurting out things he’d never usually say in front of Pidge and Hunk

“Yeah. Bounce your kid from house to house. You’re too late, Mum. I feel more for Miriam than I do for you”

That wasn’t true. That wasn’t true and Lance knew it. Part of Keith desperately wanted to reconnect with his mother. This was only serving to drive a wedge further between them

“Look, Keith. You know the life. I couldn’t raise you at the Blades. It wouldn’t have been safe for you there”

“So you wait until I’m nearly dead? Wait, no, it was Shiro who saved me. He’s my brother, and my family. Not you”

Lance groaned. Getting Keith and Krolia on the same page was going to be one hell of a fight

“I sent money to every single family you were at. I followed you until you decided you had to run away. I never stopped caring about you. Leaving you and your father broke my heart, but I couldn’t bring a war down on both of you”

See! Lance was right. Krolia did love Keith in her own way. She just really sucked at telling him and Keith wasn’t... Keith didn’t know how to hear her or see past the pain

“That wasn’t your call to make”

Awkward silence descended again. Lance kind of wished Pidge and Hunk weren’t there... nor Shiro and Curtis. If he could just get them talking then... it’d be a start. Keith said a lot in what he didn’t say, and right now he was screaming for someone to reach out and reassure him... but despite everything he was feeling, Lance knew that Krolia was the one he needed. Moving his sore arm, he rested his hand on Keith’s thigh to silently remind him he was there for him.

They all breathed a sigh of relief when Coran came in with a tray of tea. Setting each up in front of them, Keith glared at the liquid as if it’d offended him, Coran either oblivious or ignoring the atmosphere

“Lactose free for number two... Now let’s all sit enjoy a nice cup of tea as we talk. Krolia, perhaps you can tell us more about your companions? Don’t worry, Pidge and Hunk here both signed a non-disclosure, they’re practically family”

Pidge and Hunk now had an uncle to add to their weird little family. Coran knew all about them, and had always enjoyed hearing about them

“Perhaps we should save that for a more formal briefing. I am interested in my son’s progress here”

Coran’s voice filled with pride

“He’s excellent. Very diligent and task orientated. His skills may be wasted in a small city like Platt, but we are certainly happy to have him, and Shiro, naturally”

“I’m glad to hear that. Originally we sent him here to be safe, with a nice easy target. I wasn’t able to meet with him before he left. We didn’t expect the escalation of things quite so quickly, but being here means I’ll be able to spend more time with him, and Lance”

Keith snorted, Krolia picking up her cup of tea, looking over the rim

“Something funny?”

“This act you’re putting on for everyone. I’ve finally found a place I’m happy, and you walk in like you’re just going to be part of my life”

“Keith, you know...”

“No, mum. I don’t know. You’ve made it clear I’m a disappointment of a hunter... Sitting over there, laughing at the fact I couldn’t kill one vampire...”

Keith went to move Lance’s hand off his thigh, forgetting to be careful as he did. Hissing, Lance moved to move his right arm with his left, Keith’s whole face falling as he’d realised he’d hurt him

“I can’t do this”

Keith went to push back his chair, Lance on his feet before he could, clutching his arm against as him as he spoke

“Wait! Okay. Time out. Keith, I don’t know Krolia, but I can tell she does care. She just doesn’t know how to talk to you properly. Krolia, you keep antagonising him. Things like wanting to know how Keith is, is different from prying into his skills, or his work here. Keith, she’s your mum. I’ve barely met her and I can see so much of you in her. I know it’s hard to talk about what you need to with all of us here, but neither of you hate each other. There’s no need to set each other off because you can’t quite figure out how to start a conversation. Keith is mad at you, Krolia. You shouldn’t have pulled a prank like you did today, expecting he’d understand why or be okay with it. Babe, your mum’s a Blade member and as far as I can tell, they’re all a bit weird. I’m not exactly happy over what happened, but it did, and we don’t have a magical time machine to undo it. Before you ask, Pidge, time travel isn’t a real thing, I’m sorry to break your heart like that. Krolia, I’m serious about Keith. I care a lot about him, and deciding to date wasn’t easy for either of us. I’m the enemy. You guys are supposed to kill people like me and move on without a second thought. Now, my arm really fucking hurts and my ego is probably showing because I’m a bit too protective of Keith, but enough’s enough....”

Lance flushed as he realised he’d kind of let lose on both Krolia and Keith and probably embarrassed his boyfriend as well as hurt his feelings by acting like Keith couldn’t talk for himsel. Feeling like he had to explain even more and knowing he really needed to shut up, he finished rather lamely

“Ummm. Well, yeah. Basically, stop being mad at each other because you’re both angry little loafs that don’t know how to socialise”

Keith stared at him long enough to know he’d walked all over his boyfriend’s feelings. It took all of ten seconds for Keith to be pushing his chair back

“I’m sorry, Coran. I don’t think I’ll be very good company”

At least Keith paused long enough to apologise, before leaving the room... Not inviting Lance to go with him. Yeah. That wasn’t missed. Keith was getting so good at coming to him to talk, that Lance expected it

“I’ll talk to him. But Lance is right. Keith doesn’t know how to talk to you about anything that’s not work. You and I need to have a conversation, Krolia”

Oh damn. He didn’t want to be Krolia. A mad Shiro was a scary thing in its own way. As Shiro left to find Keith, Pidge leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she did

“Damn. And I thought my family was dysfunctional. Is it like this all the time?”

Lance sighed, wriggling his chair closer to his gremlin for comfort

“Keith? Keith’s family? Or being here?”

Pidge huffed

“I’m not prying into Keith’s past until he wants to tell us. Look what happened last time someone’s dark secret came out? I found out one brother’s a werewolf and the others a vampire. Nope. No more prying there. I mean here in general. How do you guys get any work done?”

“Normally they do the work and I just stay in my room”

“So you’re a slacker?”

“I prefer to think of it as much loved relative visiting. But yeah. Kind of a slacker. All I can really do is support Keith and Shiro, around working from home”

Coran was staring at the conference room door, as if he thought Shiro and Keith would be back by now

“Lance does help us quite a lot. He’s always been a very charming and helpful person. Very smart too”

Pidge snorted

“Coran, are you sure you’ve got my brother? He can’t even work his phone properly”

“That’s because it has so much unnecessary stuff on it. Huuuunk, help me out. Please tell Pidge it’s okay to be technology illiterate”

“From what I hear, vampires don’t forget things. Sorry, bro. You’ve got no excuse”

Lance pouted, betrayed by his cinnamon roll and ridiculed by his anger muffin

“And here I was loving the pair of you. Coran, I take back all the nice things I said about them. Curtis, you and me. Us against the world?”

Curtis wore an expression so Shiro like that Shiro would have been proud

“Sorry, Lance. You are good friend and you’ve helped me immensely, despite my constant queries over your body and your heat. I’m happy to have met you, but yours isn’t the dick I want. You have Keith for that, though I do wish you’d accepted his physical help through your heats sooner. It would have made the changes you are going through quite a lot less painful. Though you two are quite loud mid coitus. I think I much prefer you two watching television than to think of you engaging anything sexual. No offence”

Lance choked on air. Curtis was the one who kept gifting him condoms and sex toys. He had a whole case of them waiting at home, never to be used without Keith. Pidge cackled

“Damn, dude. You got rejected without even aiming for it. For what it’s worth, Keith helped me understand that super senses aren’t that great when you can hear Matt having sex”

Lance groaned all the way to the depths of his soul

“Can we pleeeeeease stop talking about sex in front of Keith’s mother? Coran, help?”

“I guess we could discuss how hesitant you were to accept Keith as your boyfriend initially and that nasty...”

Lance was sure Coran was going to blab about the mercury incident

“Nope! No! You all suck! Everyone but Hunk is off my Christmas card list”

“Thanks, bro”

Lance couldn’t reach to fist bump Hunk, but he would have if he could have. The vampire was taking it slowly, Hunk not like Pidge and her weirdly easy acceptance. That’s why they’d played with Kosmo without talking all that much, trying to show Hunk he wasn’t any different than a human

“I’ve got you, fam. I’ll be sending one to Shay too. Oh, have you guys been to my house lately? I’m worried about the roses”

“If you’re that worried, you should just come back home already”

Lance couldn’t hide his surprise

“You want me back there?”

Okay. So they’d taken it well, but he was kind of like an inmate here. At the end of the night, they knew the big bad vampire was all tucked up safe and sound below ground. Plus, Pidge had gotten the scare of her life the last time they’d been at the house. His poor gremlin had had so much to process. She was still processing, despite how brave she was being. Plus, there was this whole “her parents knew” thing that needed to be worked out. What he needed was a double who could be there with Pidge and Hunk, helping them work things out, while he was also with Keith... who was currently mad at him. Super mad if Lance had to hazard a guess. He hoped Shiro would get through to his boyfriend...

“No. I just thought I’d mention it. Actually, I did think of burning it down, but you weren’t home”

Lance sighed. She would have done it... and Keith would have lost his boyfriend the same way he’d lost his father

“Pidge, I know you’re serious, but please don’t ever say that in front of Keith. His father died in a house fire and he’s still really hurt by it. Don’t like bring it up”

“Oh, fuck! Krolia, I am so sorry!”

Krolia sipped her tea, looking uncomfortable as she did. Two very long moments before Pidge “whispered” for support

“Laaaance...”

Pidge didn’t know how to “Krolia”. Lance didn’t either. He didn’t get a bad vibe from her... but... she’d held the gun knowing they didn’t know it was loaded with rubber bullets

“You didn’t know. Keith and I have talked more than you guys have talked, so i guess I have inside knowledge”

Pidge nodded, her voice definitely quieter than her normal perky tone

“I’m glad he didn’t hear me. He still likes us right? I mean, he was talking to us, so we’re still friends?”

“He missed you guys. Honestly, he’s the one who thought one day you might talk to me again... I just thought... we’d never be friends again. I get it. If this is all like too weird. You can walk away... I’m like... really fucking weird”

Friends like family... but his siblings hadn’t handled him well at all

“You’re also proof vampires exist... and I’m still getting used to it. Maybe no sleep overs just yet?”

Because they didn’t trust be alone near him. Ugh. That hurt worse than his shoulder. He was getting teary now. This own feelings of abandonment deciding to be stupid

“That’s fine. I do get it. As long as you guys are safe, that’s all I care about. I feel super rude, but I might head down to my room and nap off the pain. Will you guys be alright getting home?”

“Yeah. You’re totally rude, but you’re going to message us later so it’s fine. We did... we did miss you. I just... it’s still a lot”

“Pidgeon, I promise I get it. Hunk, sunshine of my life, I’ll be talking to you later. Uh... nice to meet you Krolia, and I’ll see you later Coran. Curtis... don’t think I won’t forget to forget you dumping me”

Lance felt less than adult like as he left the conference room. He was pulling a Keith, feeling too emotionally compromised so removing himself from the situation. He could tell himself he wasn’t like this, but that’d be lying. He was always like this, always destined to feel on the outside.

[saoirsetm]

hey y’all ! i’m kat and we’re FINALLY opening ?!? i’m so hyped, you don’t even know. i’m a double leo Trying to survive video lectures in a noisy house who loves dark chocolate and 80% of the kpop releases so far this year ( stream feel good by fromis_9, it’s such a cute bop ! ) i’m also a cat mom to my almost fourteen year old babies who are still like energetic kittens, so ask for pics and you shall receive DSLKGJ but without further ado, here’s my girl who’s gonna prove that hindsight is INDEED 20/20, so this is gonna be fun:

✧ ˖ * ° ><> ╱  abigail cowen,  cis female,  she/her  —  look  who’s  fresh  from  the  ferry,  aren’t  you  SAOIRSE LEARY  ?  your  eroda  brochure  says  you’re  TWENTY-THREE  and  that  you’re  currently  residing  in  MARMOTON  .  your  favourite  tourist  attraction  to  hang  around  is  ERODIAN BEACH  ,  and  the  locals  around  these  ports  would  describe  you  as  INQUISITIVE  &  INTREPID,  STUBBORN  &  IMPULSIVE  .  your  resting  fish  face  really  gives  off  LONG HAIR BLOWN BACK BY THE OCEAN BREEZE, LATE NIGHTS SPENT PLOTTING THE NEXT GREAT VOYAGE, RED LIPSTICK IMPRINTED ON A MUG OF TEA  ,  and  i’m  a  big  fan  of  the  VINTAGE CELTIC KNOT NECKLACE  you  seem  to  always  be  attached  to.  well,  if  you  see  the  minister  this  morning;  make  sure  you  head  on  home  as  quick  as  possible,  you  never  know  what  bad  luck  he  could  bring.  ╱  ooc;  kat,  23,  she/her,  ast.

tw: needles ( tattoo mention ), cancer mention, death mention

miss saoirse...... oof

GDFLSJL where do i begin with her honestly ??

full name is saoirse eve leary, affectionately called cece by her family since she was young and runs with it as her nickname !

born and raised in cork, ireland with two siblings, a working class father and Slightly upper middle class mother

her childhood wasn’t like, Majorly eventful; she was considered a bit of a tomboy which isn’t a surprise bc she’s always been a bit of a spirited, adventurous girl, has the odd nomadic moment strike her and loves to travel

had a SUPER close relationship with her maternal grandmother before she passed a few years back, still has a close one with her grandfather and paternal grandmother as they’re still living

is a big family girl overall, so much so that she’s eagerly awaiting the day she gets to be the cool aunt

had a decent cluster of pals over the years that’s likely dwindled due to everyone going their separate ways after high school

saoirse Did go to uni between her travels — and graduated — and has aspirations of becoming an anthropologist to explore other cultures and meet new people/understand them

which.. obviously ain’t happening now LFSGJGF rip

came to eroda partially bc it seems like such a pretty and quaint place, partially to explore its “ myth ” that you can never leave; her naturally curious ass questions the whole thing, at least in the sense that there’s no way to challenge your supposed fate on the island and won’t deny entertaining some conspiracy theories around the mystery

she still doesn’t understand that.. yeah, she Literally is stuck here for the rest of her life now, probably because she hasn’t made a Real attempt to put that to the test, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it FDSLKJDS

anyways she came here solo ( more than likely ) and has enjoyed her time getting to know the locals and other visitors, taking in the scenery, etc

probably took up a part-time job at sally’s tavern to cover her expenses since she lives in marmoton and it ought to be close enough for her to get to gfjlsdg

personality and everything else

a sociable, ( relatively ) fearless ginger with an eclectic taste in music and a profound appreciation for pastries.. 

despite being all about cleaner eating habits and lowering her sugar intake, she takes a cheat day or week wherever she can LSDGFJK

parties, game nights, etc, you name it ?? she’s there !

kinda competitive while we’re bringing up games and such, but she’s not about the whole sore winner/loser thing — rather she’ll groan and sulk a little before moving on

like i said before, loves to travel, loves pretty places in general so prepare yourself for an abundance of pictures on her insta feed of where she’s been or where she wants to go

loyal as hell, but she has her limit if you misuse the trust that comes with it

she’s just v wholesome and has a mix of small town city/endlessly curious energy with a sprinkle of being the life of the party……. kinda

however, she’s the most ?? hard to place person all the same

that feeling of freedom that comes with her exploring and all makes her a little hard to tie down; she doesn’t plan on staying in eroda ( which is unfortunate for her considering.... fglsdk ) as she has more to accomplish and see

very much does her own thing and doesn’t wanna hear any criticism for it

as if she’s that out of line DLJGDSLK but still

always wants to try new things, no matter how dumb they might be; except for anything that’s a Legitimate death sentence or is.. a GENUINELY dumb idea, she has enough common sense to know what Not to do KSGFDJDS

has little tattoos on her wrist and behind her left ear for her Favourite trips/symbols/whatever and her family, will let y’all know what they’d be whenever i figure them out since i’m so damn picky with these things

a Big supporter for buying/investing locally, has little trinkets and such to prove it

in fact, she has a collection of thrifted or vintage clothes from her travels and back home, and a chest full of cute jewelry she switches between daily

one piece she wears all the time — only parts with it when she sleeps — is the celtic knot pendant mentioned in her app that’s become something of an heirloom on her mom’s side of the family !

she has the cutest irish lilt in my mind, kinda the same as miss ronan’s and aisling bea’s

really loves her freckles, partially bc i love her freckles and my own :(

tea > coffee, but she loves coffee-flavoured things; bring her a peppermint or camomile tea as her shift winds down or.. idk, just because, and she’ll be forever indebted to you fldjgs

loves to hang out by the water in her free time — she loves the scent and sounds that comes with it, it’s one of the few places where she can put her mind to rest for a bit

the sound of rain hitting a rooftop is her perfect sleep soundtrack

kinda wants to adopt a pet, but doesn’t wanna leave them if she goes on an excursion where they can’t come with her :(

baths with epsom salts, candles that smell like lavender or something just as pleasant and calming, etc during a night in soothes the hell out of her soul

top three products she has in her bag at all times, besides personal info and her phone ? lip balm, a powder spf and mints FGLGKSD

btw.. miss ginger hair and freckles will probably gasp at anyone going out with no spf on them and scold tf out of them bc ‘ hello, melanoma ?? sunburn ?!? ’

wanted connections

childhood pal(s) she’s bumped into: reunited by chance, cece’s glad she has a couple of people she knows to keep her grounded when her mind runs wild at what Might happen when she decides to try her hand at leaving

cousin(s), other relatives: idk, figured it’d be fun for her to have a family member or two running around and not realizing the other relative is the Only one they’ll see in person from here on out

best pal(s) in eroda: someone she’s taken to since arriving, likely spending their free-time eating pastries on the beach, talking shit over tea, little market dates, going to the rainzone half-drunk and trying to rope each other into new things

opposites attract.. of sorts sfdlgkj: basically just a traveler meeting a local who’s never been off eroda, telling all about their ( quite limited ) excursions and bonding in other areas over time !

hook-ups, fwbs.... ENEMIES with benefits?? idk, point is the girl’s probably gotten laid since arriving, it’s all a matter of the situation that fits your muse(s) best FHGSDKJ

roommate: she lives in marmoton, likely in a rental of sorts, and i can’t see her living alone given the situation on the island ( though i’ve viewed her as the type to live alone in a space for one and a half people any other time tbh ). so she has just One and they make the arrangement work ! depending on their personalities and such, we’ll figure out how well they get along Exactly, if at all

ex ??: the girl’s bi so y’all can toss anyone at her for this one as well ! question marks bc i was thinking it’d be an on-and-off thing but maybe not come the time i post this intro LSGKD. basically they were seeing each other for a few months, she fell hard Quick/they moved kinda fast bc they were vibing and they would distance themselves upon realizing this — though i see cece giving them distance bc she knows they need it rather than needing it herself. if it IS on-and-off, they’re definitely off rn and treading lightly ( though she finds it hard to stray and hates things not being fully resolved no matter what happens ?? ), so all it’s a bit angsty regardless of how it goes dfgkljsdg

fellow mystery fiend: someone please fuel her curiosity to the max and try to crack the impossible case of eroda’s captive capabilities with her.. and proceed to watch true crime shows with her when that clearly goes to shit SDFKLJ

older sibling or mentor dynamic: someone to look out for her/teach her some things to help fully support herself/give her advice when she probably needs it most.. idk, i just like the idea of someone becoming a stand-in relative type of friend to her 

just give her someone to confide in, to swim at night with, stargaze and all that cute shit, be it platonically or otherwise !

she’s not gonna click with everyone and that’s fine, BUT maybe they run in the same social circles and cece thinks they seem nice enough, but they never really talk amongst themselves ?? just a case of awkwardly starting from scratch and seeing where it takes us !