#would say 'cant believe im stuck just drawing guys facing to the left if i want to actually get anything done' but its been happening

[came0dust]

frankly i like the things i learned while making this more than the result itself and i wasnt really sure i even wanted to post it in part due to that but if i do keep iterating on the process i used during it, i feel this is valuable context

oh also before i forget: the sketch was done using this brush instead of the one i made earlier

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[duelofthefatesmp3]

i DO actually wanna know how youd make kotor 3 !!!!!

this ask has been sitting on my inbox for so long on PURPOSE! i wanted some time to re read the revan book + watch some swtor gameplays so i could give a concrete answer about why the book and swtor arent satisfactory and what i would do instead (im not like. a storytelling god so i this is just my PERSONAL idea). under the cut!

to begin with, what's wrong with revan the book and swtor, mai?

i am very fond of swtor i think it was such a nice idea to have an "open" world game set in star wars old republic time. but ultimately, it was not a good conclusion to revan and meetra's storyline! now, i don't really know what happened in the development of the third kotor game (if there ever was a plan for one) but it's clear they dropped the ball on that and decided to start a whole different project. i don't think we can blame disney for that one, because it was announced on 2008, launched in 2011, and disney had just bought star wars that year. so who knows.

the thing is that it's painfully evident that a bunch of the story that was gonna be in the third game, ended up in the book + misc parts of swtor. much of the book feels like a gameplay.

now, it was clear when the book was planned that they wanted to keep revan's story open so when the game came out, they could have a cool Revan storyline so he could make a cool villain appearence and draw in some of that kotor nostalgia. which ehhhhhh. uh. i don't really think did any favors for revan's character. he didn't have a satisfactory arc (I'm not saying "a happy ending" because good arcs aren't always happy) but at least some closure?

revan went through many big events in his life. we didnt need to keep his ass in stasis for his fun villain moments 300 years later. we already had what we wanted from him: jedi turned sith turned jedi again to defeat a terrible threat. that was it we could have let it there and it would have been cool! but then they decided to drag and drag his story just to leave him right where he was before. he just suffered a little more in the in-between.

you could say he finally redeemed himself of all of his crimes this way, but wasn't that the whole purpose of the first kotor game (and would have been the purpose of the 3rd?)

swtor does not centre revan in his own narrative. he's a side character for the player to experience. and look, i get it, we've had a different protag on each game, why not have another one in this one. well, because the protagonist has no personal relationship with revan. meetra was one of his closest friends, and fought with him. there is a connection that can be exploited. but the swtor protagonist is just some guy 300 years in the future who happens to stumble into revan and his life. not even his descendants get to fully interact with revan.

also, there is the fact that revan is not the centre of the game itself, only of a particular storyline. and it's weird, because swtor could have happened without revan's involvement.

ms. meetra surik, ms. bastila shan, women of the world I'm sorry

so it's no news that star wars is misogynistic as fuck right. cause it is.

so you decide to make your gender neutral protagonist a guy. then you decide to make your other gender neutral protagonist a woman. cool. now let's guess who gets underdeveloped, turned into a plot device without reason, and promptly fridged in the most unceremoniously fashion just to fullfil some manpain moments. which one do you think got that treatment.

i know the revan book is supposed to be about revan, but why make meetra go through a whole arc just to undermine her character and turn her into the faithful servant of the guy? she leaves everything behind for him, sacrifices herself for him, hell not even dead is she not serving the guy. and she was the second game’s protagonist! she beat up a bunch of powerful people and now she’s just meh, there? she had so many interesting ways to interact with revan (meeting kreia, revan’s first master, encountering another force consuming entity, etc.)

meetra went through a whole arc about dealing with the guilt of doing something horrible and having the consequences of it cut her from the force. we see her broken, then slowly come back to the world and reconnect herself with the force, then stop running and face the consequences of her role in the war. thats such a cool character with tons of potential! and nothing happened!

then we got bastila who is. a whole deal. so you make her go through a “promising jedi who defeated revan, to questioning reluctant companion, to fell into the dark side, to was redeemed thanks to her bond to revan, who helped her come back because he’d been through the same experience” arc, and then you decide to push her to the side to have a baby?? which is... its clear that the writer didnt know what to do with her (or with the other characters outside of canderous) so hey, lets get her to marry revan and have a baby.

my ideal kotor 3

to preface, im not a game developer, so some of my choices could be stunted by what a kotor rpg can do lol. of course, it would follow the same mechanics and have the same format as the first two, because consistency!

the fun way to start the game, would be from scourge’s perspective. we get to play as a sith! i’d even say you get to change scourge’s name and gender and looks (i know sith have different looks)

in scourge’s storyline, we get from his arrival to normound kaas, to his talks with nissyris, to his missions working for her. in some of these, we can make scourge lean into the dark or the light side! fun! plus we get some exposition with dialogue options. it all continues untill we get to nissirys story about the emperor. we get a fucked up cutscene of his childhood and then BOOM when its over, we see revan waking up from a nightmare and their pov starts.

ok, as for revan’s story, since we’d have to pick it up from where kotor ended, i’d have a little cutscene of revan back into the ebon hawk, with bastila, and them telling the crew to take them to courascant. then cut to a council meeting where revan and bastila get scolded in private, then rewarded by the republic. i would also like to see some revan mournink malak’s death mayhaps. since he was their childhood friend and all.

i would 100% scrape the marriage and two years passed part. as the book said, the council had no use for revan aside from the legend(tm), so why would they stay in courascant. revan was very alienated from the jedi at that point, despite being back in the “light side”

then like, to revan asking around for meetra and other jedi from the mandalorian wars, we can cash in that atris cameo, then revan starts to have these visions about the sith emperor, and maybe we could get a playable dream sequence about revan’s fight with mandalore the ultimate (I KNOW I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT.) and we get the whole exposition to mandalore telling revan that the sith are behind it all. i believe we should get a bunch of these flashback/dream sequences of revan’s past doing shit. cut to revan burying the mask in a planet, then back to the present. we see a bunch of mission and juhani scenes trying to reach him, but he keeps pushing them away. revan and bastila meet canderous, travel to the ice planet, meet clan ordo (god i love clan ordo) you get the whole quest, you decide weather to spare veela or not, maybe you get a cheeky mandalorian companion (force sensitive mando oh?) and leave canderous behind.

we can visit like, a couple more planets searching for clues maybe, etc. then when reaching nathema, you are forced to go alone as revan, get to explore nathema a bit (raiding ancient location yay) nathema as a location can be so fun because you can have it weaken you hp bar and also you cant use the force (which, in game is pretty cool)

then we get to scourge and nyssiris arriving to the planet, they fight but since theres two of them and revan doesn’t have the force, they beat the shit out of them, and while running away, they get in a fight with bastila and the companions in the ebon hawk (ebon hawk shooting game my hated). bastila manages to get a glimpse of revan’s thoughts before they take them away. but the ebon is so ruined it takes bastila, t3 and the mandalorian a while to fix it, and they get stuck into the unknown regions for a while. the ebon hawk is left in an outer rim planet with t3 fixing it, bastila and the mandalorian run back to the jedi council, only to get caught in the middle of the jedi civil war. we can have bastila choosing to hide in courascant and trying to make sense of what she saw, reading texts about the sith empire, trying to plot a course to where they took revan (more atris! but shes pissed at her now)

cutscene to meetra’s pov, leaving malachor v behind, getting calls from everyone at the hawk (atton my beloved) but just as she’s leaving she gets a force message from revan, calling for her to find him and sending visions of normound kaas. then, through her force bond with visas, she tells her not to go because they’re gay and in love and whatnot.

then boom, she gets intercepted by bastila’s ship, with the mandalore and the other mandalorian (yes i do love having a bunch of mandos on board) and they go on their way to find revan.

now i want there to be an underlying message of “we can’t take our friends with us because we have to do this ALONE we’re powerful JEDI we don’t need our FRIENDS.” meetra gets asked if she wants to bring any friends and she’s like “no. we have to do this alone.” along the game you get constantly contacted by other game characters, you get the chance to talk to them or ignore them.

so, we get back to nathema, and meetra has a whole “holy shit this is just like darth nihilus but ten times worse. but i beat darth nihilus. i can do this!” then she finds peace in this place without the force, we get a whole speech about how the odds arent against them, they find a way to normound kaas, and get going.

in normound kaas i thought about them getting a whole mission about how to infiltrate the citadel, only to get helped by scourge. he joins the party, we get a little flashback of all the years he spent trying to make revan remember and they storm the citadel. we get to fight the dark council members, fun! then we get to free revan and the game switches povs. bastila hands the mask to revan and he has a cool “yes im revan im pretty cool” then a nice heartfelt yet rushed reunion with everyone.

then have a small CONVERSATION WITH MEETRA where she talks about the sith triumvirate she defeated and revan is impressed with her and is like “we are the last hope of the jedi, we’ve learned to walk between light and dark, we’ve done horrors but we can still make things right, our experience has made us more powerful etc.

then they fight the imperial guard, ALL OF THEM, meetra revan and scourge make it into the throne room, they all fight the emperor. meetra shows the emperor that she has seen the void, she has cut herself from the force, and she’s not afraid of him, revan supports her, talks about redemption and hope  and NOW.

NOW. how the alternate endings could go:

if you decide to take scourge through the light side, he manages to form a forcebond with meetra and revan since they’ve both teached something about the duality of the force, they get 100% stronger, but its still not enough. UNTIL. a bunch of ships (jedi and mandalorian, even non republic ships) arrive to dormound kaas, the gangs from each game storm the room and together they make the emperor and his guard a bunch of punching bags. they beat him! (unknow to them, this was a backup body because the emperor can do weird shit like that, and has only debilitated his plan, but he’ll come back dont worry). then they fly back to the republic, to tell the chancellor about the sith threat, and preparations for the war begin. meetra and revan get to live happily ever after for a while, then they die away from the jedi or the sith (waaah im thinking about them helping canderous rebuild the mandalorians, and them doing it since they killed so many mandos in the war)

BECAUSE IN THE END KOTOR IS ABOUT LEARNING TO PROCESS TRAUMA AND RECOGNIZE YOUR MISTAKES AND LIVE WITH THE GUILT WHILST TRYING TO FIX THE MISTAKES YOU MADE ALONG THE WAY. AND ALSO TO HEAL FROM TRAUMA YOU NEED A SUPPORT SYSTEM SO EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES SENSE TO YOU YOU SHOULDNT PUSH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AWAY. AND THINGS AREN’T BLACK AND WHITE ITS COMPLICATED SO YOU DONT END UP BACK ON SQUARE ONE YOURE A CHANGED PERSON.

or

if you decide to dark side scourge further, he betrays revan and meetra, they all die, and the emperor unleashes his angry lightning or whatever on everyone + a bunch of visions of all the enemies of past mocking them, and their loved ones suffering. and since you’ve had that “im not calling my friends bullshit” no one comes, you die there, and the emperor is only stalled for a few years. swtor ensues. scourge becomes the emperor’s hand.

now you could of course bring revan and meetra up in swtor, but maybe only as force ghost guides, or have some of the other characters of the game have relevance (visas tries to heal the miraluka planet 2021)

WELL THAT WAS A LOT OF WORDS. HOPE THIS IS SATISFYING ENOUGH

[rowaning]

The Complete Fiction of HP Lovecraft rated by me, someone who read them all* but has a terrible memory

The Beast in The Cave: uh a guy goes on a cave tour and finds a creature that was like a human that got lost and adapted to its surroundings. 0/10 just because im pretty sure there was another one with this exact premise and neither of them were memorable at all.

The Alchemist: dude achieves immortality and lives in the narrators basement and has pledged to murder his entire lineage or something. 4/10 the alchemy stuff was actually kind of interesting

The Tomb: im pretty sure this is the one where a guy starts hanging out in a tomb and like travels back in time/becomes one of his ancestors? 5/10 if its the one im thinking of i did enjoy reading it

Dagon: guy lands on a mysterious island with signs of a long dead civilization. 1/10 i do not remember what happened in it

A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson: 0/10 i have no memory of this

Polaris: also 0/10 i forgot all about it

Beyond the Wall of Sleep: could be any of the dream focused ones. if its the one about the dude sailing into the void or whatever than 4/10 not too bad

Memory: ironically, i dont remember it. 0/10

Old Bugs: 1/10 for the title god i wish i remembered this one

The Transition of Juan Romero: i got nothing. 0/10

The White Ship: this might also be the one about the dude sailing into the void? i liked that one he lived in a lighthouse and boarded a dream ship and just fucking left it was fun. 4/10

The Street: uh i think really steep street that didnt actually exist. 3/10

The Doom that Came to Sarnath: i wanna say another one of the dream centered ones where a town discovers some old relics and blatantly disrespects them and gets exactly whats coming to it. 5/10 they deserved what they got

The Statement of Randolph Carter: ok this dude shows up several times. i think this one is about how he returns to his childhood home then travels back in time and creates a time loop paradox thing. 1/10 meh

The Terrible Old Man: uh some thieves harrass a weird old guy and get got. 5/10

The Cats of Ulthar: someone is mean to a cat in a dream city, all of the rest of the cats get revenge and are revered for the rest of time. 2/10 (-3 because lovecraft has a specific name he gives to apparently every fictional and real cat he encounters and wow i wish he hadn't)

The Tree: i feel like this is something to do with a person becoming a tree but i cant actually remember. 0/10

Celephais: yeah no i got nothing 0/10

The Picture in the House: also nothing 0/10

The Temple: nope 0/10

Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and his Family: is this the one where the dude's great grandfather married an ape? i dont think so but im not sure. 0/10, -5/10 if it is that one cause that one was especially shitty

From Beyond: nope 0/10

Nyarlathotep: charismatic dude shows up and is like get in bitches we're going to the void. i love nyarlathotep cause hes the one who directly interacts with humanity and like wears a human suit or whatever so hes just some dude whos like hey im gonna feed you to azathoth 5/0

The Quest of Iranon: got nothing 0/10

The Music of Erich Zann: narrator makes friends with an old musician whos being hunted by supernatural forces. 2/10 because i remember it but it was just ok

Ex Oblivione: 1/10 for the title but i have no clue what it was about

Sweet Ermengarde: lovecraft's sole attempt at comedy. not to my taste like at all 0/10

The Nameless city: nope 0/10

The Outsider: also nope 0/10

The Moon-Bog: sounds cool, dont remember it. 0/10

The Other Gods: dude tries to find the gods of humanity where they live on a big mountain, actually finds them, is immediately smited by the Other Gods who protect the gods of humanity. 3/10 he deserved it

Azathoth: dont recall, 0/10

Herbert West- Reanimator: Arkham man Herbert West and his assistant ressurect the dead with little thought to the consequences, then get murdered by a band of said resurrected dead. 5/10

Hypnos: nope 0/10

What the Moon Brings: also nope 0/10

The Hound: still nope 0/10

The Lurking Fear: again, nope 0/10

The Rats in the Walls: dude returns to his ancestral home, hears rats, excavates the basement and finds out that his ancestors ate human flesh, eats his friend. 1/10 it was an interesting read but can lovecraft please stop calling cats that.

The Unnameable: no clue 0/10

The Festival: nope 0/10

*Under the Pyramids: ok im pretty sure this is the one with houdini which is the only one i could not read. i went into this mentally prepared for lovecraft's bigotry but i was not mentally prepared for him dropping harry houdini, avid skeptic who absolutely would have beat the shit out of him for this, into the middle of his super racist paranormal horror. -1000/10

The Shunned House: nope 0/10

The Horror at Red Hook: also nope 0/10

He: cool title, no memory of the story. 0/10

In the Vault: wow im bad at this. 0/10

Cool Air: still no 0/10

The Call of Cthulhu: kind of all over the place, there was a thing about artists and then a thing about a cop investigating a cult. 3/10 meh but ill give it a bonus for being a staple of horror fiction.

Pickman's Model: uh artist sees some wild shit and draws it and then it eats him. 2/10 i forget the details

The Strange High House in the Mist: if this is the one im thinking of, dude does a dangerous climb to find a mysterious house and meet the inhabitant who is kind of interdimensional and also being hunted by interdimensional things. also maybe the house eats people? 2/10

The Silver Key: another Randolph Carter one, and i think this is actually the one about him travelling back in time so idk what the other one was. 3/10

The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath: randolph carter goes on a quest in the dream world to find the gods of humanity and ask why they wont let him check out this cool city he can see from his window. lots of action and very wordy and went a lot of different places. 4/10 good read but extremely xenophobic

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward: guy investigates his ancestor who looks disturbingly like him, ancestor comes back to life and kills him and takes his place and a bunch of other stuff happens. mostly a dramatized genealogical study. 3/10 not bad, very suspenseful

The Colour Out Of Space: meteor lands on a farm, scientists get weirded out by it, everything in the area gets weird then dead, alien thing gets enough power from draining nearby life-forms to escape earth. fun twist ending. 4/10 bonus for being one of the better ones, detraction for writing out a 'rural accent'

The Descendant: nope, 0/10

The Very Old Folk: nope again, 0/10

History of the Necronomicon: very dry. fake history of lovecraft's fake book thats super important to a lot of the stories. 0/10

The Dunwich Horror: isolated witchy family has a kid who no one likes that grows up real fast. graphic descriptions of renovation. a horror gets unleashed on the area and the local folklore scholars have to deal with it. 1/10 nothing good enough to counter the xenophobia

Ibid: i remember this one. no idea what it's deal was. pseudo-bibliography? it was weird. 0/10

The Whisperer in Darkness: guy has a correspondance with another guy about local folk legends based on evil crab things. other guy gets straight up replaced by an evil crab thing and first guy doesnt even notice. imagine if you followed up on a scam email and didnt realize anything was up until you saw that the face of the dude you were talking to in person was a mask. 4/10 for the comedy this guy would not last in the internet age at all

At The Mountains of Madness: guy whines about penguins and how awful it would be if there were civilizations that predated humanity. also commits grave desecration. i get hit by the realization that if lovecraft was less of a racist coward he wouldve made a great speculative sci fi author. 3/10 i would love to watch that old asshole get absolutely torn to shreds by the monster fucker community

The Shadow over Innsmouth: Fish People! Leave Them Alone! Or Else! 5/10 the protagonist gets to live the dream by escaping human society and becoming an immortal fish person

The Dreams in the Witch House: dude rents an objectively haunted room, doesnt listen to people trying to help him, gets murdered by a weird rat. later they find a shit ton of bones in the attic. 2/10 meh

Through The Gates of the Silver Key: Randolph Carter transcends time and space, then de-transcends time and space and immediately gets stuck on another planet in the distant past, makes a long and difficult journey back to earth to find that his estate is being divided amongst his heirs. the comedy potential of a man stuck in an alien body dealing with a legal system that has declared him dead is not examined. 2/10

The Thing on the Doorstep: narrator's good friend marries a fish person witch who steals his body. thats basically it. 3/10. at this point im like wow these narrators really refuse to believe the heavily foreshadowed supernatural explanations that turn out to be correct huh.

The Evil Clergyman: dude is in a room. some ghosts (?) show up. dude has a UV light for some reason. Gets his face stolen i guess and just has to live with it. 5/10 for being absolutely buck wild and refusing to explain anything

The Book: nope 0/10

The Shadow Out Of Time: dude gets his body stolen by ancient scholar species. agonizes about it for a while. finds archaeological evidence of said species. finds a book he wrote while living with said species. almost gets eaten by something. 3/10 more cool speculative sci fi but lame protagonist

The Haunter of the Dark: you'd think id remember it bc this was the last one and i read it last night. oh wait, nvm i do remember it. dude finds an old box in a run down culty church and unleashes a horror that then comes and fucks him up. 1/10 meh.

[imaginedeux]

Sixth Sense

Run, we need to get a way!

Guys run!

This isnt good, we need to get out of here and now!

LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Exploring places was something you had done since you were young, being the youngest and the only girl in your group of cousins, you wanted to show them you werent scared to explore abandoned places, or even haunted places. Your old home town was founded as an army base during the civil war and saw blood shed for the first give or take 100 years of its existence, which caused the places you and your cousins to explore to be haunted. Fast forward to present day, you no longer live in your hometown, but live in Santa Monica, California with a mundane job to pay for the overly expensive loft you were renting. You also had a small youtube channel, nothing too big, it was more of a way to record your adventures in California and a way for your parents to make sure you were okay. That is until you bumped into a very popular social media duo while they were trying to sneak into a ‘haunted’ location near where you lived. The warning you gave them, followed by a video by the duo a week later, caused them to contact you and to see if you wanted to join them for haunted location.

That was over a year ago, and now you regularly join them and TFIL for ‘haunted’ overnights. A majority of which were legit, you could feel the presence of spirits before you stepped foot on the property, while others were just people being a-holes and scaring you guys off. Thats one of the reasons why you joined the duo and TFIL for those adventures, you were able to sense a spirit near by, and were able to warn them when they went too far. This has been something you’ve been able to do since you were a kid, and wasnt an unfamiliar feeling either. That is, until Colby told you that he and Sam wanted you to join them for a haunted overnight in London, with Cory and Jake in tow as well.

With your luggage in tow and your new passport in hand, you and the guys were off to London for Sam and Colby’s new series. What they didnt tell you was, there were two locations you would be visiting, possible a third, but two for sure. The first location did a number on you and the group, the experts told you the stories associated with the room Sam and Colby and with the floor the five of you were staying on. Everything that went on during the night, and after the group went to their rooms for the night, shook the group, you especially. You weren’t one to have nightmares much less ones you could remember after waking up, but the dream you had stayed with you as you traveled to the second location.

“Hey, you okay (Y/N)? You look like you’ve been in a trance since we left the hotel.” Corey, who was sitting next to you in the backseat asked you as you looked down at your hands.

“Just thinking about what happened last night.” You murmured, your nightmare coming back to mind. “I didn’t want to freak you guys out while we were checking out, but I had a really intense nightmare that included all of us.”

“Nightmare? I thought you said you didnt have them?” Colby asked, looking at you through the rear view mirror, his eyes shifting from you to the road.

“Thats the thing I dont. I havent had one since I was a kid. It was after you came knocking at my door asking if I had called you guys, or even asking if I had left a voice mail. I fell asleep for an hour and I woke up from what felt like a never ending nightmare, I wasnt going to let myself go back to sleep so I sketched out what was happening in my dream. The only thing I could draw was the church, and its surroundings.” You explained grabbing your bag taking out a notebook you carried around with you, flipping it to the page where you drew the church. “The thing that stuck out the most was the graveyard that surrounded it, and the forest.”

~~~

“Hey (Y/N), didnt you say you had a nightmare about a church?” Jake asked from your right, shaking you awake from your short slumber.

“Y-Yeah, what about it?” You yawned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, looking straight out the windshield. Both Sam and Colby were looking out to the left of the car, their camera recording on the dash straight at you.

“And that the church was surrounded by a graveyard?” Sam said this time, from his seat in the passenger side. 

“Yeah, what of...” You started before you looked out the window to your left. “No, there’s no fucking way.”

“(Y/N) did you know what church we were going to today?” Colby asked, turning to look at you face to face. “Because that’s exactly the church you drew.”

“NO! You guys wouldn’t even tell us the name of the church! How was is supposed to know THIS was the church we were going to!?” You questioned the blue eyed brunette in the driver seat.

“I dont like this you guys.” Corey said from your left. “(Y/N) had a nightmare, a NIGHTMARE, about this place. And she apparently doesn’t even have nightmares, and she has one about this place, A PLACE SHE’S NEVER EVEN SEEN BEFORE!”

“Guys, off camera (Y/N) told us she had a nightmare, note she hasn’t had a nightmare since she was a kid, about us at a church surrounded by a graveyard last night after the phone call. She also said she drew out the church, a way to keep her awake until we had to check out this morning.” Sam explained to the viewers what was going on. “And this is what she drew, without knowing what church we were going to.” Sam grabbed the notebook from you and showed it to the camera.

“Which is the exact church we’re staying in tonight.”

~~~

“Okay, this is getting freaky. (Y/N), has called everything thats happened so far, from the crows, to the teeth on the graves. I dont think staying here is a good idea guys.” Jake said as the sun started to set over the woods at the back end of the church, giving the group less light to see over the graveyard. “She even called the fucking tombs in the church!”

“Come on Jake, shes also said by this time in her dream shit hit the fan, and we’re okay, we already have our blankets for the night, the camera is ready to record us for the rest of the night to make sure we capture everything we can. We’ll be okay.” Colby said trying to calm down the other skeptic in the group. You said nothing as Jake argued with Sam and Colby, all you wanted to do was get out of the place as fast as you could, and the only way to do that is go to sleep. Being unconscious was better than feeling on edge the entire time.

“What else did you dream (Y/N), was this in the dream too?” Corey asked taking a seat next to you, your back to the three other guys as you faced the front of the church.

“No, thats why I want to leave. With the dream I was able to pin point what not to do but now that its nothing like it, i’m scared that something might happen.” You confessed, still looking towards the front of the church, the tombs covered by darkness. “I’m not able to stop something bad from happening if something does go wrong.”

“I understand the feeling. Especially after what my little brother texted me yesterday, I feel like I cant help him if I dont know what im going up against. And its scary.” Corey whispered as the yelling behind the two of you started to quiet down.

“We’ve both had things happen since our childhood. You’ve been seeing things since your family used the Ouija board, and I’ve had the feelings since before I could remember. Believe it or not my mom once told me she could feel spirits when she was my age, and so did my grandma. They’ve both told me that they were able to feel spirits most of their lives, but they cant anymore.”

“What stopped them? Maybe you can do that and you wont be able to feel the spirits anymore!”

“I dont think it’s that simple.” You laughed. The dry laugh caught the attention of the three other guys in the church as well. “They stopped being able to feel spirits the day I was born.”

“Hey guys, I think this is a good time to head to bed.” Sam said this time, the harsh LED light illuminating dark half of the church. “The faster we get to sleep, the faster we’ll be out of here.”

~~~

Sam! Colby! Guys! Get back to the Church now! Jake, Corey, i’m going to go and get them, stay here.

You’re too late

No! No i’m not! Sam! Colby!

You cant protect them

I WILL!

The air was finally able to reach your lungs as you shot up from your make shift bunk. The cold air surrounding you caused steam to radiate of your person, and your deep exhales to create puffs of smoke in front of you. You looked around to see if your sudden movements woke anyone else up, thats when your heart dropped. Before you went to bed, Sam took the bunk closest to the door and Colby took the one to your left while Corey and Jake took the ones to your right. Both Sam and Colby’s bunks were empty.

“No, no, no, no!” You mentally yelled pulling on your shoes as fast and as quietly as you could, not wanting to wake the two other boys. As you got up, you heard one of the bunks shift and a loud gasp come from behind you.

“Did, did you shake me awake!?” Jake asked, his eyes wide. “(Y/N), did you shake me awake?!”

“No. Now quiet down.” You tried shooshing Jake. “You’ll wake Corey if you’re too loud.”

“Too late for that, what’s going on? Where’s Sam and Colby?” Corey asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Jake are you okay man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I woke up because it felt someone was shaking me awake! Then when I got up (Y/N) was getting up from her bunk.” Jake explained getting up from his bunk and flipping it over. “Where are Sam and Colby? Did they do this?”

“I dont know! When I woke up they were gone, thats when I got up and you woke up. Stay here, I’m going to look for them.” You said grabbing one of the extra flashlights. 

“No! We’re not going to let you go out there on your own.” Corey said slipping on his shoes. “Whoa, wait what happened to you? You’ve soaked through your shirt.” Thats when you realized your sweater was completely soaked with sweat from the nightmare you were having before you woke up.

“My nightmare. No.” You whispered before you bolted towards the door of the church. “You guys stay here, I think somethings gonna happen, something bad. I have a big bag of salt in my backpack, use it to make a circle around the bunk area, and DONT leave it. Not for me, not for anyone okay? Unless you see us in person, dont believe your ears, okay?”

You stood at the door, the gates open behind you, leading out into the grave yard, Corey and Jake confused. “Things are going to get bad.”

“Bad? What do you mean bad? (Y/N), you can’t leave us in the dark, especially after everything thats been happening!” Jake yelled walking towards you.

“FINE!” You screamed back. This was probably the first time they heard you raise your voice in anger. “Fine! When I was younger, right when I was realizing that could feel spirits, a demon attacked one of my cousins while we were exploring one of the old hospitals in the area. My other cousins all ran away, too scared to think of a way to get the demon away from them. I stepped in and the next thing I knew it was three weeks later and I was in the hospital. I was in a coma after detaching the demon from my cousin who was in a coma as well. The thing is while I was in the coma I had a never ending nightmare.”

“What does that have to do with us!?”

“Because! I was having nightmares of this place! Thats why when I woke up today I was repeating the nightmare from all those years ago! Before tonight I had no recollection of what happened to me and my cousin, its almost as if it never happened. And because of the nightmare from yesterday and the eerie feeling from today, I was able to remember it. I texted one of my older cousins while we were out buying blankets and they said that it was true, but that the family promised not to bring it up to either of us. In my nightmare, from YEARS before I moved out to California, I had a nightmare of you four. I was trying to protect you guys, Sam and Colby. Now it’s actually happening, so I have to go and protect Sam and Colby.”

“Wait! Why do we have to stay here? If we go and look for them all together we might be able to find them faster!” Corey said this time, grabbing the camera from where Colby left it to record you all through the night.

“Because the safest place you can be is in this church. The salt circle will keep you extra protected, you coming with me will just put you in danger. Please, stay here. There’s still a couple of hours until sunrise, if we’re not back by then call the police.”

~~~

“SAM! What the hell are you doing man!” Colby yelled, finally catching up with his blonde best friend. “You cant just get up and walk out of the church and into the creepy ass woods by yourself.”

“Sorry, I have the camera as a light so its not that bad, but I kept hearing things. I wasnt sure if it was from inside the church at first, then I heard it outside.”

“What were you hearing? You could have woken one of us up. You cant be going out here by yourself.”

“SAM! COLBY!”

“Is that (Y/N)? What’s she doing up?” Colby thought pointing the flashlight he had towards the direction of your voice. As Colby was about to call out to you, the atmosphere around them grew heavy. “Whoa, did you feel that Sam?”

“Yeah-yeah, it felt like the air got heavy. I think its time for us to get back to the church Colby.” Sam said this time, the camera facing Colby, the look of fear obvious on their faces. “Wait, where’s (Y/N)? I swore I heard her voice!”

“SAM! COLBY! Jesus, there you guys are!” You yelled, running up to them from the woodwork. “We need to get back to the church now!”

“We were about to head back, but why are you soaked? What happened?” Before you could respond to Colby’s frantic questions, an unearthly screech cut you off. The three of you fell to the ground, hands covering your ears, the camera in Sam’s hand fell, the light on it flickering from the fall. “What the hell was that?!”

“We need to get back to the church now!” The crack in your voice scared the duo. For as long as they’ve known you, you’ve never been one to be scared by the spirits, but this was a different story. “Please, we need to get back to the church!”

Grabbing the camera, you pointed it at the duo in front of you, the light still flickering, but it was the only way to keep you in your line of sight. “I can’t lose sight of you guys, so please lets get back to Corey and Jake.”

“What’s going on (Y/N)? Why didnt you bring Corey and Jake with you?” Sam asked coming to a stop near the edge of the woods.

“Yeah, and did you feel that shift earlier? What was that?” Colby asking this time.

“There’s no time for questions, we need to get to safety, please!” You were pleading with them at this point. The sinking feeling in your stomach was getting worse. “Please we need to leave!”

“No! Not until you tell us whats going on!” Colby yelled at you. It didn’t phase you, it was a high stress situation and yelling in normal. Taking in a deep breath you told the duo what you told Jake and Corey back at the church. You could tell as you were reciting the story that they knew this was serious.

“So, we need to get the hell out of here and back to the church where its sa-” You started before the light on the camera Sam still had in his hand, went out.

There’s no place to run, you were smart to leave the other two in the church, but these two are mine.

“Don’t you dare get near them! I’m the one you want! I’ve beat you once before, I can beat you again!” You yelled at nothing. “Whatever you guys do, do not talk to him. You guys acknowledging him will only make it worse.”

“Right.” The pair whispered. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you grabbed onto Sam and Colby, “We need to get back to the church, follow me.”

Not so fast (Y/N), you dont think it’ll be that easy?

“Sam!” A familiar voice yelled from the darkness. “Sam please help me I’m hurt!”

“Ka-” Sam started before you let go of Colby to slam your hand on Sam’s mouth.

“It’s a trick! Don’t trust your ears, they’ll trick you.” You explained. “Same goes for you Colby, no matter who you hear, it doesn’t matter who, if you cant see them, do not trust the voices you hear.” You grabbed Colby’s jacket, pulling him and Sam back towards the church. “I’m sorry you guys.”

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault this is happening, you didn’t know that this thing was going to come back.” 

“Yeah, if anything its our fault that we didnt listen to you, after you were predicting everything that happened.”

They’re right, they should have listened to you, just like your cousins should have listened to you when this happened all those years ago.

“We were children! You had the balls to attack children! That just shows you how weak of a demon you are! It makes you even weaker when a child was able to exercise you from a the body of another child!” You yelled into the darkness. “You thought you were powerful because of the place we were in! Your worshipers used the hospital as your portal! You were using my cousin as a scapegoat!”

You werent strong enough to get rid of me the first time. What makes you think you’ll be strong enough now? 

As the demon started to laugh, the ground shaking with every cackle, the moon showed itself from behind the clouds, the graveyard lit up with the light. In the middle of all the graves was a massive being, a mix of human and a crow.

“You were always here weren’t you? You were hiding among the crows.” You said letting go of the duo. You faced this demon once before and lived, you can face him again. 

“(Y/N)! Don’t!” Colby whispered as you walked towards the demon. “We need to get to the church!”

“Come on, (Y/N)!”

“No. Not anymore, if I dont get rid of him now, I’ll have to live with this asshole following me!”

Oh, I’m not planning on letting you live, (Y/N). You arent going to live to see tomorrow.

“And im not letting you go, Raum.” With that the creature, screeched at you, stepping back away from you. “I’m no priest, or exorcist but I’ve researched how to get rid of demons!”

“(Y/N) what are you doing!?” Colby ran up to you, blocking your path to the demon. “We need to get back to the church! We’ll be safe their.”

“Sam, grab Colby and haul ass towards the Church, Jake and Corey will be waiting where the bunks are in a circle of salt, that’s where you’ll be the safest. If I don’t make it back by sunrise, I’ve already told Corey and Jake to call the police. Hell maybe call a priest too.” You explained looking between the two again. “Please, im begging you.”

“Come on Colby.” Sam whispered, grabbing onto Colby’s arm pulling him towards the church. “(Y/N) can do this, we’ll only hold her back if we’re here.”

~~~

“Jake it’s been hours and they still aren’t back, and what the hell was that sound!?” Corey asked the only other person in the circle. The yelling and screeching that came from outside the church were something out of a horror movie, it didnt seem real.

“I dont know, and all the cameras cut out when the first screech happened and they havent been able to record since then. Even the cell service has been shit.” Jake groaned sitting on one of the bunks in the middle of the salt circle they drew after (Y/N) ran out the church.

“What if it doesnt come back by sun up? How are we going to get help?”

“We’ll just go to someone’s ho-” Jake started before the doors to church doors slammed open. “Sam? Colby? Is that really you?” Before they could answer Jake grabbed the nearest bottle of holy water and sprayed the duo as they walked towards the bunks.

“Really Jake? Was that necessary?” Colby asked shaking off the cold holy water.

“Sorry, had to make sure. Hey, where’s (Y/N)? And what was that sound from earlier?” Jake asked realizing the person who forced them to stay in the church wasn’t with the duo.

“(Y/N) stayed outside. Remember when she told us when she was younger how her cousin was attacked by a demon back in her hometown?” Colby asked looking between Corey and Jake as the screeching continued in the graveyard, scaring the group.

“Well apparently the thing out there is the same one from her childhood. She told us to come to the church and wait for either her or for the sun to come up. And for us not to trust our ears, that the thing out there might try to get us outside, he almost got me by sounding like Kat.” Sam explained as more screeching and roars sounded from the darkness outside. “And to add salt to the wound, I dropped the camera when the first roar happened so I wasn’t able to get any footage of the demon outside.”

“Right when the first roar happened all the cameras in here went out too. There’s still battery in all of them but they wont record. And, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LEFT HER OUT THERE?” Corey yelled at the best friends. “You’re letting her go against that thing ALONE!?”

“We had to! If we stayed there the demon would have used us against (Y/N), and she’s gone against it before and lived, shes got this in the ba-” Sam started before another roar cut him off, the lights in the church flickering as a scream joined the roar.

“COLBY, I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE!”

“Its not (Y/N)! Dont listen to it!” Sam grabbed Colby before he sprinted out the door. “You know for a fact she wouldn’t call out for us! In any of our investigations, has she ever called for us? No. Don’t listen to him!”

“COLBY HELP! PLEASE I CANT BEAT HIM!”

“COLBY YOU BETTER NOT! DONT YOU DARE LISTEN TO HIM!”

“See that’s (Y/N)!” Sam said tugging Colby back into the salt circle, “We have to trust in her.”

~~~

“It’s been two weeks since the church and we haven’t told the fans what happened, what are we going to do?” Sam asked looking up at Colby, from his seat next to (Y/N). It had been two weeks since the church incident, and they were still in the UK. The night took a turn for the worst when the sun had finally come up and (Y/N) hadn’t made it back to the church. It took almost two days to find her somewhere in the middle of the wood miles away from the church the group stayed at. 

“I know they deserve answers, but our main concern is to make sure (Y/N) is alright. We already contacted her family and they’re aware, which is the most important part. Maybe us staying and Corey and Jake leaving was a bad idea.” Colby muttered, pacing around the hospital room. (Y/N) hadn’t woken up from the coma she was found in almost two weeks prior, and it was concerning the boys. (Y/N)’s parents told the boys that the last time she was in a coma like this it lasted almost a month, and that the boys shouldn’t worry about (Y/N), shes stronger than she seems. “I wish (Y/N) would give us some sort of sign that shes okay.”

“Why does it feel like its out fault? Like if we hadn’t come to London none of this would have happened? Or what if we had stayed in the church? Maybe then we would have been back in LA planning our next adventure.” Sam whispered, rubbing his face with his palms.

“Damn it!” Colby finally yelled after a few minutes of silence. “Why the fuck did this happen to (Y/N)? What if we had stayed there? Maybe it would have been one of us instead of her! Fuck!”

“Quiet down please. We’re in a hospital for fuck sake.” The whisper caught the duo off guard. It was the small smile on the patience’s face that brought them to tears as they hugged the person on the hospital bed. “Okay, I can’t breath guys.”

“Wh-what? When did you wake up? How are you feeling? Do-do you need anything?” Colby asked as Sam ran out the room going to find a doctor or nurse.

“When you guys started to blame yourselves for what happened. Raum was going to come after me one day, it just chose the church because of all the spiritual energy that we were carrying from the hotel the night before.” You, explained before a doctor, nurse, and Sam ran into the room. It was a week later that the trio was on their way back to the States, when you  noticed something.

“Hey Sam, Colby.” You started as you made your way across the London airport to your gate. You stopped and looked around, something was different.

“What’s up (Y/N)? Do you feel something?” Colby asked coming up to (Y/N)

“That’s the thing, I dont feel anything.” You said looking around the airport, every place you’ve ever visited had some sort of spirit lingering around. Good or evil you were able to feel them almost 80% of the time.

“What do you mean you don’t feel anything?” Sam asked the camera in his hand pointing at you and Colby. The three of you had agreed to release what footage you had onto their Youtube channel since you felt like their fans needed some sort of explanation. They just needed to film the last bits of them leaving London before they would do a sit down segment back in LA explaining what had happened at the church.

“I dont feel any spiritual presence, like any. It wouldn’t have bothered me but I had felt a presence when we first landed here. Now there’s nothing.” You said looking back at Sam and Colby. “Maybe me winning cost me my ability to feel spirits.” That statement became even more true when you landed back in LA and did a quick visit to places you knew were haunted, you couldn’t feel anything in any of the locations.

“Hey, maybe its a good thing? I mean people who have some sort of power are usually targeted by demons or evil spirits.” Sam said as the three of you walked up to the first place the three of you met.

“If it keeps you safe, maybe its a good thing that you lost your ability.” Colby said this time.

“But now I feel like I wont be able to protect you guys.” You said looking back at the best friends, tears welling up in her eyes.

“But, we’ll be able to protect you. When you would tell us to back off during an overnight we started to notice how certain things would happen around the time you would speak up. We’re able to tell if somethings going to happen because of all the times you brought it to our attention that something was wrong.” Colby said walking up to you, giving you a small smile. “Anything to protect you even if you dont have your sixth sense.”

[kys0g0i]

Analogical parents au and their son Roman runs away and they go find him and end up finding him and telling him how much they love him and it’s fluffy :D

Oh hecc yeah

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Pairing(s)?: romantic Analogical

Started: October 16th, 2019, 7:11 AM

Finished: October 22nd, 2019, 9:22 PM

Word Count: 1,286 words

Warnings: Brief panic attack, crying

— — —

“...Logan?” Virgil called out nervously, searching all-around one of their son’s, Roman’s, room. He was slowly starting to borderline on panicking, as he searched even in places he knew he wouldn’t be. “...Logan!” He heard footsteps before his love appeared in the doorway with a questioning look. “Yes, starlight?”

“Where’s Roman?”

“What?”

“Where’s Roman?!”

“I thought you took him with you when you took Remus to his class?”

“No! I let him stay here because he wanted to write!”

Virgil’s breathing began to speed up and grow heavy, feeling as if there wasn’t enough air in the world so that he could breathe properly. The walls seemed to close in on him as possibilities swarmed his head. Had Roman been kidnapped? He was only ten years old. Was he hiding somewhere and they just couldn’t find him? Was he stuck somewhere, in pain? What if he couldn’t call out to them for help? Was he missing something important and it would lead to them never seeing Roman and it would be all his fault and Logan would de-

“-ight.” He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t he couldn’t he would only make things worse for them and- “-irge.” Logan would hate him, even more, what if this was all sick a joke what if he was never meant to be a dad and he failed horribly and he was going to be arrested for-

“Virgil.”

Virgil jumped in shock at the feeling of a pair of cold hands cupping his face. It was at that moment we noticed his ragged and uneven breathing, as well as his shaking and thick tears rolling down from his green and hazel eyes. “Breathe for me, please.” He calmly said, gently wiping a tear from his face with his thumb. “It’s going to be okay, alright? I promise you that. You trust me, do you not?” Virgil nodded shakily, going through his breathing exercise with him the best he could. Once Logan was sure he could handle it on his own, he slowly let go. He was used to going through this breathing exercise with him. Virgil was well aware he was a very anxious person, and that it could be a pain to have to calm him down, but it comforted him to know that Logan would take the time to ground him, no matter how long it might take.

“Star, I think you might want to read this.” He said after a long time of him going through this breathing and finally getting it under control. Virgil looked to his love with curious yet worried eyes. As he handed him a messily folded piece of paper, he carefully unfolded it, reading the message inside.

‘I’m sorry Pop. I know I probably scared Pappy real bad. But I cant stay longer. im just a trouble to you guys. Bye, I love you. -Roman’

Virgil looked back up at Logan when he finished, hurt. “Does he really think this...?” He asked as if scared for his answer. He sighed, gently taking his husband’s hand and squeezing it. “I’m afraid that I do believe that he does.” He replied. “Do you know where Roman could possibly have gone? I know you get to spend a lot more personal time with him then I get to.” The shorter male hesitated, taking a deep breath, before nodding. “...Yeah... I... I think so...He shouldn’t be too far away if I’m right.”

•

By now, the sun was starting to set, giving way to a reddish-orange sky instead of a blue one. But if you weren’t looking close enough, you couldn’t see it too well because of all the dark clouds in the sky. Virgil wouldn’t be surprised if it started raining soon, which just made him want to find his son sooner so he could get him home before the rain came down. They hadn’t been driving for too long, only five minutes, to get to a small park with a playground on it. Technically, they didn’t need to drive to get there, but it was the fastest way to get there. The entire time, Virgil had been anxiously glancing all around him from out the windows, desperately trying to see if they were passing their son, but he saw nothing. It made him paranoid that he missed him somehow, but Logan convinced him the check the play park they usually went to first before going back to look for him that way again.

When they finally arrived, the park was dead, with none of the usual loud laugher or sound of running from playing tag from children. It was strange, Virgil would admit, but none of it matter to him at the moment. Right now, all he wanted was his baby back. And though Logan was keeping a calm demeanor, he could tell he wasn’t too far behind him in the worried or panicked department.

The black and purple-haired father hurried to get out of the car and ran towards the park so he could see the other half of it, and hopefully, his son. “Roman?!” Virgil called desperately as he ran, and he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a familiar brown-haired kid sitting on a swing with a red bag next to him. He turned back and looked at him with wide, giant green eyes. “Pappy?”

“Roman!” Virgil cried out in joy as he sprinted towards him, scooping up his child in his arms and hugging him tightly. Roman returned the snug hug, and it wasn’t long before Logan joined the hug too with tears in his hazel eyes. After a few long minutes, he placed Roman down before kneeling down on one leg to match his height so it would be easier to talk to him while looking him in the eye.

“Roman, why are you out here? You gave me and your Pop a heart attack! Why-“ Virgil cut himself off when he realized Roman had huge tears in his guilt-filled green eyes, looking down to try and hide it. He softened in sympathy. “Roman..-“ “I-I just... just feel like t-things would be better if... if I w-wasn’t in the family..” He murmured, wiping his eyes with his palms. “You guys are... are always focused o-on R-Rem or... or working and I never get to show you my drawings or writings or have you guys read to me ever since you started working or Rem got diagnosed... but I-I felt bad for feeling that w-way so... so I didn’t say anything... I thought you guys wouldn’t love me anymore... But as days when on I convinced myself you two don’t anymore... So I... I l-left...”

Before Virgil could reply, Logan did for him, bending down as well and resting a firm hand on his shoulder. “Roman. We may work a lot, and have to spend more of the free time we do get with your brother until he gets confident and used to doing new things, but that doesn’t mean I,” He glanced towards his husband, taking his hand with his free one. “We, don’t love you anymore. Your Pappy and I would die for you, Roman. We love you very, very much.” Virgil nodded with a small smile, pulling Roman in for another hug as he started crying, which he didn’t object to. The two dads held their son close, not saying a word for a long, long time, even when the cold rain started to drizzle down from the sky. And it was okay. They didn’t need words to know that at that moment, they all understood the love they had for one another.

[neokollection]

Kissing Out of Jealousy

NCT U + Yuta

‘Can I request a NCT U kissing you out of jealousy?’

A/N: I’m sure there’s already a reaction of this, but I’m here to add another :^) This is assuming you’re dating for some members, but for some you’re not dating, they like you- THIS IS LONG BTW!! [Kinda more like a mini drabble per each member]

** Language, some suggestive themes, but nothing explicit ** ik some ppl don't find jealousy cute so don't read if you not into that..

Taeil:

Taeil wasn’t the type to get jealous easily or behave pettily- Rather, he was just protective at times and would feel he’d have to interject to save you from situations... Whether you were feeling uncomfortable or not- Yet a part of your boyfriend also felt slightly neglected, a faithful dog waiting on the other side of the fence with it’s tail wagging at the sight of it’s owner, even though it’s owner was petting the neighbor’s cat.

He called out your name in the hopes of getting your attention as he watched you and Ten staring at your screens before nudging each other continuously with a laugh to show the other a recent entertaining Tweet. He was all for you bonding with the other boys, but he’d missed you this week and throughout the day constantly stuck by your side. Placing the bowl of steaming popcorn upon the coffee table, he took his seat beside you on the couch, hand patting around for the remote he’d dropped there moments before.

“OMG- You have to show that to Mark,” Ten gasped, covering his mouth to conceal his wicked grin as he looked at the meme you’d stumbled upon of Mark’s shorts.

“Let me see,” Taeil added, not wanting to miss out and curious as to what was so funny.

He leant in, eyes flickering to Ten as he watched the younger lean back into the couch, thumbs moving rapidly upon his screen. Taeil listened amusedly as he heard your small chuckle in his ear, a smile gracing his lips as he saw your screen before drawing back partially.

“You’re amused so easily,” he chuckled, nose nearly brushing your own as he leant nearer, a hand shooting to your waist to tickle you gently.

“Says you,” you squirmed with a bright smile.

Finally, his forehead rest upon your own, his antics stilling as he closed the gap between the two of you for a quick kiss. Embarrassed about kissing so openly with Ten by your side, you felt a blush creep upon your cheeks as you pulled away shyly. You could have sworn Taeil’s gaze jumped from your lips to your eyes to Ten before he closed the gap once more- You let out a muffled chuckle against his lips as your hands went to the front of his shirt to slow him down and steady yourself.

“Ew- God- Could you not?” Ten whined in disapproval, scooting away.

You could feel Taeil’s smile against your lips before he drew back, eyes as lively as ever.

Smothering you and being that cute couple to show off and make others wanna gag, but not let you think it’s a jealousy thing-

Taeyong:

Easily, one of the most jealous man you’d ever dated. He had his share of insecurities that make him question whether he’s worthy of love and attention, and an anxiety about losing the person he cherishes the most... So, seeing your interactions with your old classmates made him feel even more insecure in the moment. He’d had a stressful and busy week and hadn’t gotten to see you much, merely late calls that usually didn’t last long because he’d coax you to go to sleep early since you’re busy as well. Meeting a few of your old high school classmates, totally coincidentally at Gong Cha was all it took for him to have a small internal freak out. He already didn’t like that they were guys, even more so that they’d known you longer than he had technically... He felt excluded- He always wanted to be a part of every part of your life and have you in every part of his- To him your soulmates and he didn’t like feeling as though someone had a leg up on him in regards to you.

“You look great! Wow- It’s been a minute, but wow-” one of your old classmates gushed, stunned by how you’d matured and glowed up through the years spent apart.

You gave a small chuckle in return, “I’m surprised you recognized me-”

“I mean how could I forget (Y/n)?” he joked, gesturing towards you, followed by a few hums of the other classmates beside him.

You weren’t exactly sure what he meant by that- You didn’t think of yourself as too memorable of a person during high school. You’re boyfriend disliked it even more, a scowl etched into his features- He didn’t like not being in the know or what exactly the man meant.

“Well, it’s a small world I guess,” you wrapped up awkwardly, “It was nice to see you,” you added, able to feel Taeyong’s calculating gaze.

Sighing to yourself, you took a sip of your tea, inviting Taeyong to ask whatever he was going to ask.

“Were you popular in high school?”

“No,” you huffed, “Not really anyway- I’ve already told you about my high school- I wasn’t even friends with those guys... I can’t believe he recognized me.”

‘You’re just too pretty to be forgettable’ was what Taeyong had been thinking, but decided to keep it in. He could still feel their fleeting gazes glancing towards you as they sat down in laughter- He didn’t like that... What were they talking about? You? Were they laughing about you? Who knew what prude remarks they were making.

“I’d have dated her back in junior year if I knew she was gonna turn out like this-”

Feeling jealous, protective, and anxious he stood, causing you to look up at him, “Where are you going..?”

“Bathroom,” he informed before bending down, his hand coming to cradle your jaw as he sealed your lips together in a sweet kiss- Lips tasting of caramel.

Your lips followed his own as he drew back, swiping his thumb endearingly across your cheek before giving it a gentle pinch. You pulled your face from his grasp at the action, playfully pouting at your cup of tea as he left the table.

“I know right-”

The voices got louder as he approached.

“Could you keep your voices down?” he asked, yet it wasn’t really a question- His tone and gaze icy and curt before he brushed past their table to the restroom.

Yuta:

Tossing in jealous Yuta because that’s hot-

You didn’t have to be dating Nakamoto Yuta for him to feel as strongly as he did. He felt like you were already his, his sweet, his dear, his precious- And he wasn’t going to let the world or anyone else take that away from him. You loved him as a friend- The two of you had crossed the boundary of friendship a few times with late night kisses and drunken texts- But there was something about his possessive nature that made you hesitant to progress any further with him. Just being his friend you felt like a prisoner-

“I have to drop by my brothers’ dorm to give him back his battery pack-” you began, halting as you remembered.

“I’ll go with you,” Yuta chimed, slinging an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as his other hand pulled the drawstrings of the hoodie harshly, causing it to close around your face.

You stumbled into him mid-step as he did so, whining dramatically as your hands attempted to shove him aside.

“My brother doesn’t like you,” you interjected, pulling the hood free from your mess of hair as Yuta released you.

With a shrug he focused his attention on taming your hair, the action causing your face to heat.

“You shouldn’t go into the boys dorm alone,” he reprimanded, motherly as ever.

Jaehyun. Your brother’s roommate and soccer teammate of Yuta- was coming down the very path you were on the quad.

“Jaehyun!” you called out suddenly, happy to find a delivery man.

His eyes darted from his phone to you, his brows knitting together seconds later-

“Hey,” he began, slowly letting his gaze drift between the two of you before to your hoodie.

“Uh... Is that your hoodie?”

“I stole it from my brother- Don’t tell,” you chuckled.

Letting out a soft chuckle of amusement, Jaehyun shook his head, “That’s not your brother’s- That’s mine. I’d been looking for it all week-”

“Oh my God!” you gasped, dropping the tote bag from your shoulder, “I’m so sorry! I- It was on his side of the room... So I thought-”

“It’s fine,” he interjected, “It looks good on you-”

Yuta’s gaze narrowed at that remark and before he even had a moment to stop you, you were peeling off the hoodie and offering it to an astonished Jaehyun. You saw no issue with it, you were wearing a t-shirt underneath.

“I’m so so sorry! Also...” you began, picking up your bag, “Could you give this to my brother?”

“Sure-” Jaehyun nodded, scratching the nape of his neck as you pushed the goods into his hands before whipping around and grabbing the side of Yuta’s plaid jacket to bring him in tow with you-

“O my God... That was so embarrassing-” you rambled, feeling your face hot in embarrassment.

Suddenly, Yuta’s feet stopped moving, causing you to stop. He removed his phone from the pocket of his jacket before slipping it into his jeans, removing his coat.

“What are you doing?” you asked dumbly before catching on, “N-No, I’m not cold or anything-”

Silently, he draped it over your shoulders before his hands slid to the open front of it, grasping it before pulling you closer by the collar. His lips melded with your own, needy and passionate, jealousy brewing in his heart at even a simple encounter. His hands slid down to the zipper, zipping it quickly as he pulled away, your arms constricted, a smug expression on his face before he began walking again.

“H-Hey! GET THIS off me!” empty sleeves flopping by your sides as you hobbled after him.

The type to give you a little taste of his cold shoulder and reprimanding you for being careless [about making him jealous basically].

Kun:

Respectful and mature bub who wouldn’t do anything unless the two of you were dating, and for a while.

He couldn’t understand why Xioajun was so clingy towards you- I mean... He understood it in a sense since he was also in a way- But it was different. You were taken- Xiaojun should have taken a hint from him by now. Kun was constantly swooping in to interrupt the too of you, the hint of a small grin gracing his features each time to hide his unkindly thoughts towards the younger.

“Does Xiaojun bother you?” he questioned, watching as you pulled on your socks from the doorway of your bedroom, his shoulder resting against the frame.

“No?”

Cocking your head to the side, you couldn’t understand what Kun was hinting at or why he was asking.

“He’s always around you...”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “We’re friends.”

You stood, ready to pass by your boyfriend and slip on your shoes by the doorway, yet he didn’t budge.

“Well...” he began, “I don’t want to sound ...clingy, but I don’t like it-”

“There’s nothing to worr-”

You were mid-roll of your eyes, when he cut you off, his warm hand enveloping around your own, “You’re mine, right?”

There was a hint of something swimming in his chocolate gaze, as if a saddened part of him needed reassurance.

“O-Of course,” you admitted, blushing to yourself from feeling caught off guard.

“Then I have a right to be like this,” he added, voice softer.

You open and shut your mouth dumbly, not sure what to say in response. Yes? He to a degree had a right to feel jealous- But... There was really no reason to be jealous over Xiaojun- Tugging your hand forward gently, he drew you to meet his lips, lilting his neck down. His kiss was delicate, lips plush and substantial, but movements gentle and loving. Your knees felt weak, as if it was your first kiss again.

“Don’t worry about it,” you nearly whispered as he drew back, “I’ll try to be mindful,” you added, referring to distancing yourself a bit so Kun wouldn’t get the wrong impression again.

“We’re going to be late...”

Doyoung:

You drew back to take a breath before your lips were smothered again, his nostrils flaring in anger and also the need for oxygen. You whined gently against his lips, attempting to pull back once more. You panted, out of breath before placing a hand on Doyoung’s chest to keep him at bay.

He leant back over the center console, resting his head back against the padded seat. Finished clicking in your seat belt you looked at him.

“When you dress like that,” he began, nodding forward, “guys get the wrong idea.”

“N-”

“Like thinking you’re single and something for them to ogle at,” he added, cutting you off, “You have no idea what kind of sleaze bags were looking at you and what they were thinking-”

His fox-like eyes flickered back to you, taking a moment to glance at the obvious cleavage you’d put on display.

“I dressed up for you- I just… I wanted to feel sexy and make you-”

“Make me what? Upset?”

“No! Proud to be with me- To be attractive to you…”

Raking a hand through his hair he let his gaze fall upon your own.

“Don’t you get it?” he began, jabbing the keys into the ignition, “You’re always attractive to me- I always want you- I’m always proud of you- But I want to be the only one to see.. You don’t deserve them looking at you like that and it makes me sick,” he trailed off, quickly casting his gaze forward as he pulled away from the curb.

You felt a tingle jolt along your spine at his words.

Ten:

He’d been giving you a snarky attitude all day; curt remarks and dismissive glances. Sighing for the final time as he pretended to ignore you, you let your tongue poke at your cheek in annoyance.

“Look at me,” you probed.

His fingers halted before smashing the pause button on his game, tossing the controller aside him on the sofa as he let out his own sigh, his gaze continuing to be fixed upon the TV screen.

“Why are you being like this?”

You hated how beautiful his profile was, the slope of his sharp nose and outline of his soft lips.

“Why won’t you even talk to me?” you added, raising your tone.

“If you want someone to talk to why don’t you ask Taeyong?” he quipped, voice laced with venom.

Huffing in exasperation, you let your hands fall to your hips.

“Are you serious?”

Finally… he turned his dark gaze towards you.

“Yeah,” he nearly shrugged, attitude as petty as ever.

“You’re such a child!” you shouted, unable to control your emotions as you stormed away, frustrated and wanting to cry.

He paused for a moment before standing.

“I’m childish?” he asked, tone brazen and perplexed.

You stopped, turning on your heel-

“Then what?” he questioned, “Is Taeyong the man?”

Before you could spit out a reply he grabbed onto your elbow.

“I’m the only man you should see,” he barked.

“You are my only man…” you murmured, hurt he thought otherwise.

Cupping your face, he pulled you into him, lips messily finding one other before passionately embracing.

Omg I hate this one…

Jaehyun:

Far enough. Was what Jaehyun had been thinking.

His jaw was set, his lips pursing each time his eyes narrowed slightly, causing one of his dimples to gently show.

Sure, it was Taeyong’s birthday, but that didn’t mean he had the right to flirt with you-

“Is that right?” you giggled, after listening to one of Taeyong’s stories.

Your fork idly toyed with the pasta in your dish as you gave Taeyong your attention. The rest of the lunch table seemed chatty, side for Jaehyun whom pouted by your side. His silence was slowly steeling your attention away from Taeyong as you began to worry.

“You’ll have to excuse me for a moment,” you interjected, glancing towards the bathroom.

Your plan was simple, take a break from Taeyong by using the restroom before retuning and turning to Jae to give your attention and ask what was up. As you stood Johnny began speaking to Taeyong, allowing you the perfect cover to escape. As you did, someone snagged you by your belt loop. Your forlorn boyfriend looking up at you with eyes you couldn’t place.

“Where are you going?”

“Bathroom,” you whispered, your brows furrowing in concern at his oddness.

He released you, standing himself to follow you.

“Why are you being so weird?” you inquired, rounding a corner with him.

“I’m jealous,” he admitted.

“Wh- How? What’s there to be jealous about?” you stumbled.

Instead of answering or explaining, he cornered you against the wall once the two of you were hidden from sight in the hall of the bathroom.

“Babe,” you began, your voice lowering.

Being under his gaze in such close quarters you felt trapped, trying to think of what he’d want to hear to be reassured. You bit your lip in thought. Warm lips clashed with your own, not too aggressive, nor gently. The breath that had gotten caught in your throat came out as a sigh against his lips as his hands slid from the wall on either side of your shoulders to your hips.

“We can’t do this here,” you nearly whispered, your lips brushing his own in temptation.

Ignoring you, his hasty lips met yours again, causing you to let out a small moan of protest.

“Oh- God-” Ten sputtered, shielding his eyes from the entrance of the hallway as he saw the two of you.

Your fist came in contact with Jae’s pec as he broke away from you.

...When you came back to the table you could feel everyone’s gaze upon the two of you, lowering your gaze in embarrassment as Jaehyun wore a smug grin.

Win:

Cold shoulders were never fun, especially when dealing with your best friend Sicheng. He sat several rows in front of you in the lecture hall instead of beside you, scrolling through his phone and clearly avoiding your texts. You bit your pen cap in annoyance as you stared at the back of his head.

“Maybe they broke up-”

It was a hushed whisper, but you were able to here it.

“Just go talk to her-”

Evidently Sicheng heard it too, his thumb having stopped scrolling and his ears perked.

“Hey,” a gentle voice said, taking the seat beside you.

“H-Hi,” you fumbled, baffled as to why Mark Lee was sitting next to you.

“This seat’s not taken, is it?”

“No,” you enunciated, making sure it was clearly loud enough for Sicheng to hear in an attempt to be petty.

“Cool- Well, uh, there’s this party at Alpha Delta Si later,” he began, “If you wanted to go, you could be my plus one- Honestly, we’ve had this class together all semester and I thought you were cute-”

You were flattered by his invitation, but frat parties weren’t really your scene.

Glancing over his shoulder at the encounter, Sicheng was caught by your gaze.

“Oh- Uh, I’ll have to think about it, parties like that aren’t really my thing-” you declined politely.

“O-Oh,” Mark nodded, retracting to his seat in thought as the professor entered.

The entire lesson you and Sicheng fumed with thoughts of each other, unable to concentrate. The lesson seemed to end in record time, not that you were paying attention.

“So, um, if parties aren’t your thing we could do something like uh... get ice cream, or-”

Once you’d stood to stuff your belongings in your bag, Mark was back at it again. However, your sleeve was yanked by the ever so thoughtful Sicheng, pulling you from the row and tugging you up the stairs of the lecture hall. You stumbled after him dumbly until he shoved the door open with such force you were scared for a moment.

“Stop-” you shot, pulling from his grip.

“Was I interrupting something?” he asked bitterly.

“What the fuck is your problem? I thought you-”

You could feel the gaze of several classmates in the hallway, feeling embarrassed. Behind you, Sicheng saw the door of the lecture hall swing open with none other than Mark and Jeno, his eyes narrowing as he caught Mark’s gaze. Swooping in, his hand clamped over your forearm to pull you to meet his lips, his blunt nails digging into your sweater. He was overwhelming, figure looming over your own, hasty lips pushing against your own, you felt lost in your shock.

Jungwoo:

“Let me up,” you huffed for what felt like the fifth time.

A hum of disapproval left the boy who’d constricted himself around you.

“Woo- I’ll be late for my shift...” you tried, sighing to yourself.

“Don’t go,” he murmured.

“I have to go- My supervisor will be mad if I’m late again...”

“Your supervisor,” he began, sitting up, his fluff of hair bouncing, unfit of his narrowing eyes, “I don’t like him.”

“It doesn’t matter if you like him or not-”

You struggled in his hold, but he draped a leg over your hips to bar your escape, hugging you closer.

“He’s creepy.”

“Yeah, he is,” you agreed with an airy chuckle, “But that doesn’t matter, I need to keep my wage-”

Rolling on top of you, you let out a whine under his weight. Cutely, he blew the hair out of your face, not daring to remove his hands from wrapped around you for fear of you escaping. You giggled and writhed at his actions, shaking the hair from your face. He plopped a soft kiss upon your lips, smothering your own before drawing back momentarily.

“Don’t go.”

His lips didn’t give yours time to spit out a retort, softly melding with yours with passion. Had it been any other day or any other occasion, you would have skipped whatever event there was to stay with him, but you couldn’t miss today... Shaking your head to shake his lips off your own, he groaned against your lips, unrelenting. You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of anguish against his lips, following it with a low whine. He bit your lip in retaliation gently, shifting on top of you as you squealed and wiggled beneath him.

“You’re being childish,” you gasped, nostrils flaring with the need for air.

Lucas:

“Baby-”

Yukhei’s deep voice reverberated through your being as his lips brushed your ear.

“Why are you watching that?”

In your defense, you hadn’t searched for it, rather it was in your suggestions and you just so happened to be curious by the amount of views it had. A Doyoung, Boss focus cam- Nor were you expecting your friend-with-benefits to be up so early... He usually slept well past ten.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you partially lied.

“Do you like him?”

“Uh,” you stalled, glancing over your bare shoulder, “It’s not like I know him-”

“I mean,” he corrected, “Do you think he’s sexy?”

Your expression morphed into one of confusion at his most likely horny what-the-fuckery.  If you said yes would he set up a threesome?

“Yeah.”

A warm hand slid over your bare arm, trailing to your shoulder before moving to your throat. He didn’t like that answer- Though the two of you weren’t official, he had real feelings for you- Which is why he called you baby, and told you to stay the night when you’d start searching for your clothes the night before...

“What about me?” he groaned gently.

Dropping your phone aside, you rolled over to your side, your hand going to his wrist to stop the growing pressure he applied.

“Yeah, you’re sexy,” you rolled your eyes, knowing he was immaturely jealous.

“Am I sexier?”

He drew you closer, his nose brushing against your own as he awaited your answer.

“I’m not sure,” you teased, withholding a giggled at how his eyes widened.

He let out a chuckle too, able to catch onto your teasing attitude.

“I must be since I’m the one with you and not him,” he muttered with a smile, rolling over on top.

His lips claimed your own in an arduously slow kiss, his hand fumbling to reach over and turn off your phone.

Mark:

Alone, in bed, on his phone- Mark’s evening was rather bland. He’d been on a call with you while you’d been getting ready to come over, content with just listening to your voice.

“Why do you take so long to get ready?” he questioned with a sigh, “Just come over already.”

“I have to look good,” you countered, “You said Johnny was home...”

And here it was, the recent reason for Mark’s despise of Johnny Suh, one of his closest friends.

“Bro- So what... You’re coming over to see me, not him-”

That was true-

“Yeah, but if I do see him-”

“Whatever, just hurry up,” Mark complained, his tone snappish as he hung up.

It was hard getting friend-zoned, let alone having the girl you like be into your best friend instead.

Fifteen minutes later you were checking your reflection on your phone before the door, collecting yourself before ringing the doorbell.

Answering it, Mark felt his heart clench- You looked ridiculously cute, glossy lips, curled lashes, slight wind-blown hair, and the oversized Puma hoodie you’ d bought last week to match your leggings. He wish you were getting all dolled up for him, causing a pang of jealousy to stab him.

“I’ll pay for delivery since you paid last time,” you remarked, stepping through the doorway to remove your shoes as your eyes searched for the giant of your affection.

Yet he was nowhere in sight... Making your way to Mark’s room with your bag, dropping it to his bed and plugging your phone into his charger. You heard the distinct sound of the refrigerator opening, bottles rattling- Perhaps it was Johnny. Turning on your heel, you planned upon seeing whom it was, but a Mark Lee was blocking your path, having just entered the threshold of his room.

“Lemme see,” you pried, your brows furrowing as he closed the door behind himself.

“It’s Taeil,” he lied, knowing what you were after.

You still wanted to check for yourself, even give the senior a greeting.

“Uh, let me through,” you paused as Mark remained in his spot.

“Why’s it always go to be about him?”

“I- What do you-”

“You know what I mean,” he interjected, raising his voice, “All of a sudden everything’s about him-”

“That’s not true,” you tried, folding your arms defensively.

“Yes it is,” he retorted, taking a step toward you, his bad attitude and mood nearly radiating off his figure, “We can’t even hang out like we used to because you’re always preoccupied with him-”

“I can’t help that I like him!” you shot back.

It took only another step and Mark was in front of you, his hands flying to grip your shoulders as his nose brushed yours for only a millisecond- You couldn’t contemplate what was taking place and before it registered, his lips were on your own, sticky lip gloss transferring.

[revol-lover]

gotta vent.

so we live in an apartment, well a two family home but the same thing. We live on second floor. for the past 3/4 years the people who lived below us were the people who owned the house and they were really nice, we were all as considerate of each other and whatnot and we had literally no problems. not a single one. well last fall they bought their retirement home, a single family. so they rented the first floor out to new people who moved in in february. literally they have caused issues since almost the beginning. theyre super loud and inconsiderate with their music but we figured, like we’re not going to be here forever (or much longer hopefully) so we just dealt with it. until we started hearing them mock our child. ok. thats frustrating. but what can we do. we dealt with it. julia does wake up at 6am most days which is early, but we do our best and pretty much successfully keep the noise level down in the morning by letting her watch cartoons and what not. the girl who lives down ther works but the guy is home all day playing video games in the back room, blasts his games, swears and bangs his feet on the ground all damn day. its fucking annoying. but we dealt with it. because again. we’re hoping to move soon.

then the day before last night they were super loud. starting as soon as we put julia to bed (which they know exactly when that is because i’ve heard them mocking me singing you are my sunshine to her. really mature fucking assholes) they started stomping their feet, banging furniture, yelling and screaming noises and shit all night until literally 11 pm when they went to bed (their bedroom under ours) and were talking loud and laughing. opening draws and closing them. i had an anxiety attack that lasted literally hours and didnt fall asleep until after midnight.

then LAST night was the fucking worst. it started with music at 5:30 pm. ok cant complain about that. it wasn't late. then they had friends over. who were yelling and screaming. then the music got louder. stomping. yelling. banging on table. literally the music was so loud our floor was vibrating. completely inappropriate. this went on at max volume until 9:30 when i finally had enough. kevin was frustrated and loudly said something about them being fucking animals. so they started howling. great. they were very clearly extremely drunk or high by the way they sounded so we didnt feel comfortable even confronting them (they were being so fucking immature that i dont how anything would have come of it). 

so at 930 i texted our landord. i didnt know what else i was supposed to do. i let her know whats going on. she asked me if i thought they were doing it “purposefully” i mean? yes? tf? anyway she said they would come over and talk to them. an entire hour passes. they dont show up. music/screaming/banging gets louder and louder. meanwhile julia has woken up numerous times through this, clearly isnt able to stay asleep with the noise and vibration of the music. so an hour after i texted my landlord. their music stops and it sounds like the girl is on the phone. suddenly shes got the phony professional serious voice and says something about they stopped at 930 (not true). hung up. music back immediately along with screaming profanities and banging shit. this went on until 11 pm. landlord never followed up with me and i figured well shit they waited an entire hour to even call them not show up like they said they would, clearly they dont fucking care. 11pm came, their friends left, screaming in the hallway before they did then they were silent. i was so riled up on anxiety i got literally like no sleep last night before julia of course woke up at 5:40am because she had a horrible nights sleep.

this just fucking sucks. 

like why. i dont get it. are they seriously trying to retaliate for us having a KID? a 2 year old? who is stuck in the house for way more than she used to be since the quarantine shit? like she’s honestly not even that loud. yes she sings. yes she dances around and runs back and forth sometimes but like i’m sorry shes a fucking kid. how sick do you  have to be to try to punish a little girl for being a damn little girl? and its not anything else because kevin and i do not make noise. we never play our music or tv loud. we have always been considerate. i just cant believe that there are people like this out there that are this fucking immature.  and you know if you have a problem with a kid being a kid then idk maybe knock on our door and talk to us? see if theres ANYTHING we can do? dont just be an asshole and intentionally try to ruin her sleep at night. like i have never been a violent person in my life but these people make me so unbelievably angry with how cruel they are being. like yes it would bother me if it was just me and kevin dealing with this. but a 2 year old? theyre trying to bother a 2 yr old? like seriously?

anyway. if you have any spare good vibes to give i’d really appreciate them. im literally terrified to go to our laundry in the basement because i dont want to face these fucking assholes. i dont feel safe here anymore. 

we have some potential moving options MAYBE coming up. so if you have any good vibes at all i’d really appreciate it. i just want my kid to have her own space so she can be a kid without this bullshit.

[heanv]

End To Start | haechan

genre: romance,angst

warnings:cursing,mentions of drugs

word count:1,6k

requested by: @ki-aechan

song: End To Start by Nct 127

Who knows  that a single person can change you and your future to the point you really actually change and find yourself again?

/ I know there is no point if it stops even in the dark/

There is this boy Haechan you  always had a crush on.You never  told  him of course and the reason  is obvious – he was lee heachan, the boy every single girl wants and dreams about and you were nothing more than another girl in an ocean of highschoolers.

But Haechan had his dark side and little did you know.He was addicted .He smoked every single day and it was getting worse as the time passed, he couldn’t think about anything else, there was just too much going on. The scandals  in his family, the pressure of being famous at school ,the grades and the fact that haechan had nobody. Sure he had his “friends” at school but most of them just wanted to hang out with him just because he was famous. His real friends live in another town far away from him and he always thought about leaving the hellhole he lived in and go and be free and happy with the people he really loves.

But for now he couldnt do it. He cannot let his friends to see him like this. Smooking joint every single night and wasting his money on weed, he just couldn’t. And the worst is that he had nobody to talk to.not a single soul.

/gotta end it tonight/

One night you are invited to a party of a classmate and haechan is  there. of course he is there. The whole night you observed him and you see the emptiness in his eyes and how  he pretended to have fun . suddenly he looks at you and you freeze . the whole eye contact  sends you hot waves and you feel his gaze burning you inside out. he looks away and not long after he leaves,looking at you one last time before he shuts the door.

You dont know why but you felt this as a sign to follow him. You tell your friends that you have to go and when you are outside the house you take a deep breath and you start looking around for haechan.

‘stalker much,huh?” you turn and see him smoking next to his car.

“you smoke?” then you smell something disgusting and realize this is not a regular cigarette “oh my god” you take the thing out of his hand and throw it on the ground,stepping over it.

“WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS EXPENSIVE “ he shouted

“ YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS EXPENSIVE- YOUR HEALTH” you pause for a second “ you cant just smoke weed on the street”

‘’I don’t see something stopping me besides that who are you to tell me what to do” you stay silent ‘’see it yourself, I don’t even know you”

“ you cant just smoke it heachan , this is destroying you and your body” you whisper

“ have I asked you to take care of me,hmm I don’t remember , so don’t  mess with me” he says as he lits up another cigarette and enters his car, driving away from you.

In the next few weeks you barely see heachan  at school. He looks so different , so dark and silent ,no one has ever seen him like this,he was cold to everyone and he was empty as if the whole world has gone bad and dark and you just couldn’t handle looking at him being a mess, you had to do something.So you did.

One day after school you go to your secret place on the last floor in the school,there is an old art classroom where nobody goes and this is the place when you often go when you want to be alone.When you are about to enter the room you hear that somebody is talking on the phone inside.

“-yeah im okay, im doing really fine,no I stopped playing soccer , I don’t know man, I just don’t feel it anymore,no I don’t workout too”he pauses for a moment” what I ate last,umm you know man I don’t remember but im fine like really fine but I miss you guys I miss you a lot,all of you I promise soon I will visit you,okay bye man,love you” you know who this is,there is no way you couldn’t recognize this voice.but he lied,he isn’t fine , he is a mess and somebody has to help him.

“so you still stalking me or what?’ you see heachan on the door he just opened.

“ I am not stalking you,this is my secret place I come every time I am s-“

“ no way this is my secret place,the only place in the fucking school where I can be alone”” he says and you feel the sadness in his voice.

Eventually he lets you inside and you both sit in silence as he lits up a cigarette.

“since when you started smoking?”

“since when you care?”

ouch,you didn’t expect  that.

“ I asked first “ you said,hopping he will finally answer.

“ I asked second” he looks at you smirking and you sigh in disappointment.’’  A year and a half”

You look at him “huh?”

“its been a year and a half since I started smoking,that’s what I said” he sends you a dark look but that’s what you wanted to hear.

“good you answered” now its your time to smirk “ Now,why do you smoke?”

“you think im gonna answer?”

“ yes you are”

“someone’s confident,huh?”

Lie,big fat lie, if you gotta be honest right now you are shaking,talking to him like this but you had to.’

“look I am depressed, 9 years ago when me and my parents moved in here, I left all my friends in my old town and its been 9 years since I last saw them,I miss them like crazy and right now im stuck in this town,this hellhole I have nobody here and my parents wont stop shouting at each other and im just done with everyone and everything,I just don’t fucking care anymore” he pauses to smoke “ you happy now, go and tell everyone so they can laugh at me,what are you waiting for?”

You just stand there,frozen so this is all he hides behind his smile and cool personality. this is what makes him smoke in the late hours in the night.this is what makes him go crazy. this is it.

“Im sor-“

“don’t , do not say it” he looked at you with his sad,red eyes. Now they arent’t empty, they are full of hidden emotions .

Since this day you and heachan became friends. He still smoked but at least he felt a bit better but you found yourself  falling more and more for him and the more time you spent with him the more you had to hide your emotions.

One night around 11pm you are ready to fall asleep when you hear a knock at your window , you stand up and see haechan sitting on the tree next to your window.

/ a voice that will reach you wherever you are/

“what the hell are you doing here?” you say,opening your window to let him inside.

“ my parents are shouting the fuck out at each other again and I didn’t want to listen again and the only place I could go is here”

“im happy you came” you say as you both sit on your bed

“me too” he says almost like a whisper but loud enough for you to hear it . he looks up to you with his beautiful eyes.” You know since we started talking  Ive been smoking less,I just don’t feel the need to smoke when I can talk to you about,hm, about everything to be honest”

You coudnt believe your eyes, he really just told you this.

‘’im so happy to hear this haechan,im really so happy for you”

“none of this would have happened if you didn’t stalked me so its your fault , I guess” he says placing his usual smirk on his face

“ I didn’t stalk you,oh my god haechan!” you say both of you laughing.

/dance on the surface to draw and draw and dance all night/

He looks at you with his smile fading and his face becoming serious.” y/n I think I like you” he says all of a sudden. You look at him with wide eyes not believing what you just heard “I know, I know it sounds crazy but anybody has never showed that they care so much about me and the fact that ive been clean for a week shows me that I don’t need weed to get high and forget all my problems for hour or two, the only thing I really need is you and I know it still sounds crazy but I realy really like you you,y/n, I really do.”

/ a scene that openes in front of you when night ends,yes I see/

You were on the verge of crying.” I like you too heachan, Ive always liked you” he looks with eyes full of hope no longer empty and kisses you. A kiss that was way long awaited from both of you and finally happened. When you parted your lips he whispered. “I will quit smoking, I promise” then he pauses “I will do anything to have you,y/n and im not joking’” then he kisses you again.

/ gotta end it tonight to start again,ready for a new flight/

masterlist

[asianpower5]

Ok so its been 24 hours since I saw the movie and I wanted to write down my thoughts, most of it is for me so I can go back and read how I felt about it years from now, its going to be very long and wordy but im just writing as the thoughts come and now worrying about grammar or anything, that includes timeline, so my thoughts may come to me out of order . I’m going to put it all under read more so i dont spoil it for any of you lovely people

So I got to the theater like 40 minutes early because I just couldnt contain myself and I wanted to get my perfect seat. Wore my new HTTYD shirt and brought my toothless plushie from build a bear (another little girl had the same idea she was so cute)

but now onto the movie

they threw me for a loop I was totally expecting a “this is berk’” speech as the very opening, not the raid, but honestly this movie is about change so I liked the change. But I still got my fix, because as they flew back to Berk my only thought was “this is berk”, AND THEN HE SAID THE THING YES.

Loved the scene in the great forge, it just really showed how big Berk is and how many vikings there are, and seeing them all happy and enjoying a meal together just warmed my heart, plus Gobber teasing Astrid and Hiccup about marriage and Valka beating Spitelout at arm wrestling haha.

Tuffnut was comedic gold, talking about his “beard” and giving hiccup bro pep talks. And when he said the earth was round? and the stars? I almost died laughing. 

Grimmel  being a complete jerk and drugging those poor dragons with their own venom.

Fetch with Hiccup’s leg?? and him dropping it in Astrid’s lap and then being over protective of the leg when Stormfly came near it? Then Hiccup tickling Astrid, what did we do to deserve such a cute Hiccstrid scene?

Toothless meeting the light fury was even better than I thought, he was such a dork and had no idea what to do, then looking to Hiccup for advice about how to flirt oh gosh silly boy.

Im calling Hiccup out on his saying Astrid isnt a romantic, I mean Hiccup is totally the hopeless romantic, but Astrid in my mind is totally a secret romantic, at least when it comes to her own relationship.

Also Toothless practicing his mating dancing by watching his shadow and studying the naddars as they danced was so adorable.

Ok ngl I actually thought Grimmel had shot Toothless in the house, and I was so happy to see that is was part of their plan and that he had back up (sorry Fishlegs I love you and you took one for the team so good on you!). Why I was surprised by this idk, I know these characters enough to know that they would pull something like that. BUT HICCUP TELLING GRIMMEL OFF AND CALLING HE OUT FOR SITTING IN STOICKS CHAIR, YES BOY. That just made the feeling of Berk being attacked and flames burning everywhere hurt so much more.

The meeting with all of Berk? Just wow, I mean first off I love that Hiccup had his whole gang up there with him, just goes to show that he really trusts them and values them as being part of the team. Astrid sticking up for my boy and Tuff just going “IM WITH HIM WHO ELSE” A plus team work, I loved the support. Not to mention the fact that Hiccup was able to convince them all to pack up what little they could carry and leave. I mean we know from the first movie that vikings are stubborn, but they are also capable of change. The fact that they left their home of 7 generations and probably left some import things they couldnt carry with them was such an amazing gesture. And Berk really is where ever the vikings are, it is not just a single island. It really hurt to see them leave the island, the place where it all started, but the fact that they all stuck together really shows how strong of a bond they have as a people. 

Light fury knocking Hiccup off Toothless, such a sassy girl I love her. I mean come on Toothless was obviously gunna save him. Also the sheeps wanting to be dragons is something I never new I needed, especially after seeing how afraid of dragons they used to be (I mean the dragons did hunt them, but im all here for them cosplaying as their favorite dragons) 

I JUST REMEMBERED I NEVER TALKED ABOUT FLASHBACKS SO LETS DO THAT NOW. First of little toddler Hiccup??? THE FRICKIN CUTEST THING EVER OK. I know there was a line in the trailer that wasnt in the movie the one where Stoick says something like “I believe its your destiny to find the hidden world so dragons and vikings no longer need to fight” but I wasnt sad that they didnt keep this line. I think it makes more sense to have what they did, Stoick talking about finding the hidden world so they could protect Berk from it. I mean this took place when they were still fighting dragons, so yea the line about destiny could mean he thinks Hiccup would destroy the hidden world, but the tone of the scene was so calm and relaxing that to me it gave off the vibe that Stock was implying that Hiccup would unite their worlds, which doenst make sense since again they were still at war with the dragons at this point. So I liked what they had in the movie, I think what they kept fit the tone and it still showed how Berk was at war with the dragons.

NEXT FLASHBACK. Little Hiccup just sneaking down the stairs and then his little face like “oh shit” when he saw his dad was up and trying to sneak back up. The way he said he wanted water, I JUST IT WAS SO CUTE, whoever voiced tiny hiccup good job because omg it was so cute. How happy he was to go over to his dad and sit on his lap.  When he asked Stoick if he would get them a new mom, my heart just broke I mean Hiccup was so young that he didn’t fully grasp the situation, and I mean before Hiccup got caught sneaking downstairs we saw Stoick crying. That was so important to me I mean Stoick the Vast, he is massive, and remember the first movie the fact about him ripping a dragons head off as a baby? Yea this character who basically screams masculinity has yet another vulnerable scene, showing yet again that crying is ok (I mean back in the first movie when he told Hiccup he wasnt his son, and when he met Valka again?? yes please keeping showing people that being masculine doenst mean you cant cry!). Stoick teaching Hiccup about love, yes dad points for you, I adore the scenes like these, that show how much Stock loves his family, he would be so proud of Hiccup and who he has become. OH YEA SIDE NOTE HOW I FORGET HICCUPS STUFFED DRAGON? THROWBACK TO THE TV SERIES THANK YOU.

New Berk, cuz thats the best I got to call it right now, love how everyone basically immediately goes to claiming their areas ahha.

Ok Snotlout my boy did you really just say “who died and made yout Chief” because too soon, I still love you

Low key thought they were gunna make Snotlout and Eret a thing, despite the weird flirting Snotlout had with Valka. I mean he was trying to be taller than Eret, and Eret was like hah no, yall id ship it ngl eret and snotlout 

Toothless meeting up with the light fury again, but this time trusting his instincts is another reminder that toothless is in fact an animal, a very intelligent animal, but an animal who has instincts and a desire to be with his own kind, I mean can you blame him? Its been at least 6 years since hes seen another dragon that was like him, maybe even longer depending on how long he was alone before he met hiccup. 

The throw back to the forbidden friendship scene? With toothless drawing in the sand, and oh God I never thought I would get so emotional about sand but dang that sand animation just was so realistic that I wanted to touch it. Hiccup being like “wow now you can draw”, Toothless growling at the light fury like he did to Hiccup back in the first for stepping on his art, come on guys Toothless worked hard on his art! The light fury flying away but toothless not being able to follow her, another throwback to when he couldnt fly with the dragons during the snoggletog special.

Hiccup making toothless a tail to fly alone, and Im glad they added the part when Astrid said they tried it before, again throwback to snoggletog, and that he didnt want the tail, and Hiccup clarifying that it was because he had no need to fly alone before. Now my only worry here is that the casual fan will just think that the exchange is a copout, I mean unless you remember the special you wouldnt know that they tired making him a tail fin and he didnt want it, so to the casual fan it might seem like they only added the comment to answer the question “If hiccup could make a tail fin why did he never do it before?”. Seeing the special where toothless destroys the tail really adds a layer of depth to the scene, because those of us who saw it remember that it was a statement that even though Hiccup had the ability to create a tail so toothless could fly alone, toothless wanted to fly with his best friend and didnt care for the tail. 

now the actual scene with toothless flying alone finding the light fury, first off it was so cute how he showed her his new tail! He was so proud of it, and no doubt proud of his best friend for making it. The scene itself though reminded me so much of the romantic flight, the way they flew together above the clouds and how it gave a sense of flight because we couldnt see the ground, ugg it was so beautiful. I was honestly blown away by the animation, the clouds and the color, they were all so beautiful. Toothless and the light fury flying together and really bonding, similar to Astrid and Hiccup on their first flight together, ugg all the throwbacks to the first movie really killed me. Also Toothless trying to copy the light fury and how she goes invisible was so cute, he was like “ah yes I got this, wait no shit again, no shit again again!” then he basically summons thors power of lighting and finds his new power, so proud of my baby. 

Now I fully believe that Toothless was going to go back to Hiccup after he spent time with the light fury in the hidden world, no way my boy would leave my other boy without a goodbye. But the other started to freak Hiccup out, I mean Hiccup knew his best friend would come back, but the others made him doubt it and seeing him freak out was heart breaking.

Astrid being like boy hop on we gonna get yo dragon, yes girl. Honestly them going into the hidden world on Stormfly? I mean need i say anything about the animation in this scene? The visuals were just breath taking, I cannot put it into words. Tootheless being the alpha is always a win, also Astrid calling him a king and Hiccup realizing that this beautiful place of dragons, is not place for humans, because Valka said it best, greedy humans ruin everything.

Hiccup and Astrid getting caught by a dragon and then going on a fun slide ride, and of course toothless comes through as the alpha to protect his humans, ALSO STORMFLY DONT THINK I FORGOT ABOUT HER, CUZ YES. I mean just like toothless Stormyfly will protect her human best friend, and I love her. 

How did I forget the next raid scene? I mean dang again the visuals and the lighting were just so spot on. Them all getting trapped? Valka being a badass and working with Cloudjumper to save them? Hiccup jumping and just escaping the clutches of Grimmels dragon? RUFFNUT

Ruffnut my girl dont think I forgot about you, I just I dont even know what to do with you. She was amazing, I mean shes just does not care, not scared that shes a prisoner, she fricking just talks about how ‘hot’ she is and just other random stuff about her life, like girl give me that confidence. But when she talked about the island i was like girl no dont do that, but her flying back and saying she doenst look back in response to being asked about being followed was pretty darn funny.

Bro the scene of the light fury and toothless getting captured? Toothless protecting her and telling the other dragons to stand down, at least until they can escape. Just heart breaking, help is so close, but I guess thats the downside of being the alpha, having that power can be used against you.

Astrid my girl, pep talking my boy Hiccup JUST LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE. And yes parallels again, just like in the first one Astrid said things to hiccup, she was very honest with him pointing out the things that had done wrong, the first pointing out how messy the situation got because of the lies, and in this movie pointing out how he constantly doubts himself, and in both Hiccup has a sassy comment regarding her pep talks, but Astrid always follows up with the good, like how he was the first viking to ride a dragon or how he was always brave, even without toothless, showing how she would always be by his side to support him and help him, especially when hes about to do something stupid. I just ugg they are couple goals, they dont even need to say I love you because they SHOW IT in their actions, in their support for eachother, their cute banters, and I am here for it. ALSO I MEAN HE KISSED HER HAIR EARLY AND THEN HER FOREHEAD THOSE ARE SO CUTE TO ME AND JUST SO NATURAL FOR THEM AHHH. Also “so what are you gunna do about it” “probably something stupid” YES YES YES I AM HERE FOR THAT SHIT

Everyone jumping off the island so they can ‘fly’ on their own, just first off so visually amazing, and second off so symbolic to me of each of them spreading their own wings and growing up into amazing people. 

Fishlegs and his baby dragon, I mean come on lets be real that shit is adorable, and baby dragon had his big dragon (does that dragon have a class name? because I dont remember it) friend and Fishlegs be like dont mess with baby dragon. 

Yooo I knew it, from the trailer I was like “Tuffnut is probs pissed that this dude cut off his hair beard” and boom it happned, but rip hair beard (until the end of the movie that is when it comes back)

Yall that unspoken scene where Hiccup and Astrid are just frickin shit up WHILE THEY JUST LOOK AT EACHOTHER, I MEAN HICCUP JUST CASUALLY THROWS SHIT TO START A FIRE AND THE ENTIRE TIME THEY ARE STARING AT EACHOTHER HAVE A CONVERSATION COMPLETELY WITH THEIR EYES LIKE THAT IS SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT AND COUPLE GOALS.

I got such satisfaction out of Toothless destroying grimmels arrow shoter thing and watching as Grimmel started to get afraid, I mean this dude was so confident in his abilites, and up until now he has had the upper hand, but then you can see the “oh shit moment” as he realizes he is starting to lose and heck yea im here for it. Speaking of oh shit moments, when hiccup was riding toothless and they wer getting attacked? and then toothless is like “I SUMMON YOU THOR AND YOUR LIGHTING” and hiccup was like WTH?!!??!?!?

Ok yall that scene when toothless got shot, and hiccup is hanging from the light fury with grimmel on his leg? I mean Grimmel really thought that he had won, he underestimated the love Hiccup has for Toothless, and the moment that Hiccup told the light fury to save Toothless and he let go? the hesitation she had trying to pick who to save? her new mate, or his best friend that she now seems to understand has a great important meaning to toothless? The image of Hiccup falling, and the camera angle? I mean seeing him fall from above, seeing it in his face that he was content, content knowing that his best friend would be alive and safe and that Grimmel would no longer be able to hurt the dragons or his people? Such a self sacrifice, a true Chief just like his father. 

Then the light fury to the rescue! Hiccup being like LOL BYE GRIMMLE YOU DEAD. Also reminded me of when he started to ride toothless back in the first movie and they fell and hiccup got back on his back and in control just in time, because dang she saved him his butt just before he hit the water. But seriously I loved this scene, she went back for hiccup, she saw the interactions Toothless had with him, how Toothless protected him and Astrid in the hidden world, how Toothless CHOSE HICCUP when he saw him in danger in the hidden world, she came to realize that this boy is important to Toothless, and she saw that Hiccup was willing to die for Toothless, and she went back and saved him, and God I got emotional.

Also Hiccup leaning on Astrid because he has lost his prostectic leg, yessss im here for it

NOW TO THE REAL TEAR JERKER I mean gosh you could just see the realization again in Hiccup that the dragons didnt belong with them on Berk, that even though they love the dragons and the dragons love them, even though they have worked together for years and they want to live together in peace they just cant do it safely.There are too many people out in the world who would attack berk, and we have seen that both in the movies and the show, and that puts both the people and the dragons at risk. 

It was safest for everyone if the dragons went to the hidden world, where no one could find them, well expect Hiccup and Astrid who have been there once. I just cant though, that scene was just so amazing and heart crushing. I mean you can see it that Toothless doesnt want to leave his best friend, and Hiccup doenst want him to leave, but he reassures him that its ok that its best for everyone and that its time to say good bye for now, not forever though. Then oh God how Astrid follows him, because she knows hes right too, she knows that they can no longer live with their dragons safely, and she takes off Stormflys saddle and says good bye to her best friend. THEN VALKA who has lived with the dragons for 20 years, she knows too and she doenst hesitate to let Cloudjumper go free, and it made so much sense to me that she was so willing to do so even after being together for 20 years, she has protected them for 20 years so there is no doubt in my mind that Valka would do this without a second though if it meant that was the best thing for her friend. THEN OMG EVERYONE ELSE FOLLOWS THAT JUST HURT SO MUCH. I mean ever single Berkian seens what Hiccup did, and everyone knows they have a special bond, I mean they all have a special bond with their dragons, but Hiccup and Toothless are different, they were the only pair that we know of that needed each other to fly, I mean sure the other vikings needed their dragons to fly but their dragons didnt need them to fly, toothless relied on hiccup to control his tail and that bond is so special. Anyway, I just thought that all the others saw Hiccup doing this, and hes their Chief the man who started the whole riding dragons for them, so I have no doubt in my mind that they would follow his lead, and again to me they see Hiccup and Toothless doing this letting go, so they must think “If these two can do it so can I”. I just really think it shows how much the vikings truly care for their dragon friends, when you love someone you want the best for them, you want them to be happy, even if that means you need to say goodbye. And thats what happened here the vikings loved their dragons so much that they were willing to say goodbye to their friends if it meant that they would be save, and the same goes in the other direction, the dragons are not dumb and I believe they knew that leaving is what was best too, that leaving meant that their viking friends would be safer. The love they all have for each other is so amazing. I only wish that the goodbye was long, I am so bad at goodbyes and omg I just wish they had a longer time to say goodbye, not only to their dragons but to the others as well, I mean toothless saying goodbye to Astrid and Stormfly too Hiccup? uG I SUCK AT GOOD BYWS OK I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE ABLE TO SAY GOOD BYE TO ALL THE DRAGONS.

But man i said to myself ‘you can do it dont cry’ didnt work, I sobbed, legit sobbed, and it wasnt my normal movie cry were its just tears, it was the kind where you can feel the pain in your chest from your heart beating to hard, from trying to hold back the chocked sobs so no one else would  get annoyed, although lets be real they are did the same thing so we all cried.  Seeing them all fly off, AND THE REVERSE HAND TOUCH I CANNOT, THAT REALLY HURT I JUST COULDNT TAKE IT THE PARALLELS REALLY KILLED ME THE ENTIR MOVIE. Then Toothlesses look back at Hiccup, and then the long shot and seeing the massive wave of dragons, and then seening toothless following from the back as he is the last to leave, the vikings looking on with sadness and fondness for their dragons, really did come for my heart.

NOW ONTO HAPPY TIMES. the Wedding, oh my god, how lucky can a girl be? I got to see the mother of all my OTPs get married, and dang they were beautiful, and they looked so happy, it just warmed my heart to know that these two dorks who truly have a special relationship finally got married. Then Gobber called them Chief and Chiefstriss and wow really hit me hard that these two were going to lead Berk together, because they are always there to support each other. THEN that kiss so cute, and how Hiccup goes to gently cup her face with his hands, just wow my otp is the best.

Then we again have love master Tuffnut who will take Snotlout as his new student, and FISHLEGS HAS A LITTLE BABY GRUNKLE STUFFED ANIMAL IN HIS BAG. aND RUFF being like “you win i love sensitive guys” Then we have Hiccup and Astrid looking out to the sea as their friends and family come together with them, and Astrid lays her head on his shoulder so great.

Now dang my boy HICCUP WITH A BEARD??? BEARDCUP IS REAL, and he is wearing his fur cap, and Astrid looking like a frickin QUEEN, and AGAIN HOW LUCKY CAN A GIRL BE I SEE A WEDDING AND I GET CHILDREN????? MY OTP HAS TWO CHILDREN???? AND THEY ARE GORGEOUS.

buT DANG when they saw Toothless through the fog and then the light fury and then the little baby heads pop up, and you can see how happy Hiccup is. But Toothless doenst immediatly recognize him, which makes sense because I mean 10 year for humans can change the looks drastically, and hiccup has a beard now so he doenst look like what toothless remembered, plus hes the alpha and must protect his family. Astrid protecting her children like a frickin badass mom, and Zephry hidding behind her mom and Nuffink going into her chest? Ug love it, they trust their mom to protec them, and I love this to because it really shows that they are children, I mean I have no doubt that Astrid and Hiccup are going to raise them to be brave, I mean its Hiccup and Astrid, but they are still children and well they have grown in a world without dragons, different than their parents, we know at that age Astrid was fearless, I mean she wanted to fight a flightmare, but now the world has changed and they arent at war and they can raise their kids as kids, and I love that they showed that fear in the children it just gave a sense of realism to me. 

Then HIccup DID THE THING with the hand and Toothless finally was like “WAIT THIS IS MY HUMAN” and his eyes went big and omg how he attacked him with kisses and licks. Then Astrids laugh to see them reunite, and them urging their kids that it was ok, and remember before when I said they would raise brave kids? Well this little cuties were afraid, but they still listened and trusted their parents, and omg Zephry was so stiff from fear and her face, and Nuffink was hiding his face, but Hiccup came and showed them how to approach Toothless, and wow here we go again with the hand touch and HIccup telling them to let him come to them, and Toothless did the thing AND OMG THEIR REACTION WAS SO CUTE. The way Zephry cocked her head and smiled, and how Nuffink dropped his hand from his face and his mouth widened in awe of his dragon. 

THEN I GET TO SEE HICCUP WITH HIS SON RIDING TOOHTLESS? AND HIS SOON IS JUST MAKING THE CUTEST LITTLE WAVING MOTIONS WITH HIS HANDS. And hiccup throwing his kid in the air as he giggles in delight, and I swear I heard him say “Dada” and it killed me. Then Astrid being Astrid flys right passed them ON STORMFLY, like thank you for not forgetting about my girl, because she loves Stormfly and Stormfly loves her and seeing Astrid ride her with her daughter just made the scene even better. They could have easily forgotten about my girl, but they didnt, they didnt do her dirty, I may not have gotten to see the moment when she and Stormfly met again, BUT I SAW THEY RIDING TOGETHER AND THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

Oh yea bonus points for seeing the light fury and the babies flying with them. Then Hiccup just flys upside down dropping Nuffink on Astrids head, and ug the way he just casually clings to his mother, then I was like wow I hope Zephry gets to ride Toothless with he father, AND THEN HE PULLED UP NEXT TO THEM AND HELD OUT HIS HAND TO DO JUST THAT, dreamworks you really came through for me, thank you so much for allowing Dead and all the other hard workers of this franchise make this amazing world for us. It tore my heart apart, but I loved every second of it, and I have no regrets, it was honestly a great ending,no matter how badly it hurt and how badly I wanted them to live together forever, it was just the perfect ending with a great lesson about letting go and moving on, becoming your own person, and being happy with the memories you had, because being able to say you loved something or someone and letting them go is better than never loving them at all, thats what happend to the vikings and dragons, and thats what happened to me personally at the end of it all. I cant wait to relive the magic and watch all the movies again. 

oh how could I forget? The end credits, you thought the pain ended with the end of the movie nope the credits are going to give you every major scene from each movie, reminding us where we started and where we have come to, and that was just the cherry on top of it all. 

Also side note a girl sat behind me and she goes “is that a toothless plushie?” and yes it was so she asked to see it so i handed him to her and we started talking about the movie, she was able to see it during an early release boo i had work. Anyway she asks me how old i was when the first came out, and I said 16, she seemed shook and i asked her the same, she said she was 5, so if math does me right she would be about 14/15. I was older than she is currently is when the first movie came out, thats wild. Then i laughed off the age difference saying “you would never know ill be 25 in a week”, and her (i assume) mom said I looked young haha. But because of the age difference I gave her some good life advice, I told her not to care about what others think of you, Im almost 25 crying over a dragon movie that means the world to me as i sit with my dragon plushie, and her mom just agreed with me and told her to listen to me because I knew what I was saying haha. Shout out to this girl too because shes the one who told me that Hiccup and Astrids’s kids had cannon names, I had been avoiding everything I could about this movie so I was glad to be up to date on that.

Wow this took me like 2 hours to write i think? I mean yea it was mostly for me to read later in life so I can remember this day, all the photos i took before hand, and all the excitement I had, wow Hi future me! Sorry about all the grammar mistakes but Im just typing as the thoughts come, hope I didnt break your heart again as you read all this. Until next time

[crowbean]

Gifts for @crybabyanbu

hello @crybabyanbu (why cant i tag you??), i’m your @narutorp-secretsanta

I feel the need to explain the two gifts : because i thought the fanfic i wrote doesnt sit right. i decided to draw you a christmas themed ANBU! Obito with ANBU! Kakashi but it kinda broke away from your request. Because i felt not confident enough to give you one of them, i decided to fix up the fic, and give you both :,DDD. hoping it’ll compensate eachother. I hope you enjoy it and prayers for you to have a good holiday

-

Krampus! Obito and Santa! Kakashi : Here’s a high-resolution version of it : https://sta.sh/01dbhjqtxgbh

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The Fanfic

Crybabyanbu’s request :  any kind of ANBU shenanigans or spending holidays away from home. 

i end up combining both lol. because im an indecisive fuck.

-

Obito peeked at the owner of the small house as the man greeted the courier. Quietly he stood in the dinner room where the man had already prepared a meal for his own. The man finally hold the gift handed by the courier and closed his door, a gift from yours truly.

The gift is nothing more than a small packet, a contrast to the mountains of giant, ostentatious parcels left untended by his living room. Which prompted Obito to cross his fingers if the man would even open it or simply toss it aside. Obito had chosen the most sentimental looking wrapper and even a greeting card, much to Kakashi’s chagrin. Staring at the man full of anticipation through the door sills.

The man finally opened his present, his dull eyes cracked as he sees the framed picture inside it, and that look scratches Obito’s twisted little sense of humor.  He tears open the envelope containing Obito’s greeting card, adding more bewilderment to his face as he reads it. The man whips his head left and right to see his surrouding, looks like that is Obito’s que.

“who!?-“

Slowly and dramatically, he walks into the man’s hindsight.

“Not liking your gift, Ikezawa-san? Oh yeah, it’s Kenzo Keito now huh?

The man, Ikezawa Shiru, bulged his eyes like deer in the headlights, seemingly with questions he’s supposed to ask, but withheld it. His hands about to form a seal

“Mokuton!”

               A whirlwind of wood engulfed the man before he finished the seal, clenching him tight

               “Ugh!”  

               Obito creeps towards the trapped man. Still with his attempt to look imposingly haunting. the room’s shadow still cloaking his figure with the air of mystery he basked in.

               “What do you want!? I could give you anything! Just let me go!” He blurted so fast Obito barely could understand what he was saying

               “You want me to let you go? I for one, want to spend the holiday week back home. Probably almost as much your friends in the picture want to spend it …alive.. But no, I’m stuck in this dirty little traitor’s hovel. And those people are murdered by you. So you see, you cant always get what you want, even if it’s Christmas.”

his glowing sharingan behind his ANBU mask and his uniform that is covered in black soot possibly from his unsanctioned entrance. There’s no more question on from where and why Obito came

“L-Listen, Anbu.  You might’ve think what you are doing is right just like how I am back when I was a konoha ninja.. but have you ever wonder about the consequences of the missions your Hokage put you through?”

Obito crosses is arms, letting the man finish

“You are nothing more than a tool to do the bidding for the daimyo court, a tool for their exchange of favor, people who’ll let a village burn just to stay in power.”

“How does being an information broker better?”

“At least I could use the money they gave me to do …w-what I believed in.” the man faltered at his ambiguous last words. “Could you say the same?”

Obito didn’t press on the man’s unsure tone despite his curiosity, he picks up the frame the man had dropped from his urgency, showing it to his face. “Even with the cost of their lives?”

The man just paused, he gazed almost sullenly at the photo. it was taken back in his younger days with his three comrades that tried to stop him when he went rogue. When they pick up some his tendency to leave Konoha, they tried to reason with him, one even threatened to report to the Generals. One night he decided to assassinate them all in their sleep. Just to buy himself sometime as he escaped Konoha. Those three murder becomes the foundation to his ambitions, and the hundreds of lives lost because of his information leak only adds to that. And he’s not even sure when is a price would go to high, just so he could stay as himself

“I-“

A Kunai jabbed at his forehead, giving him an instant death.

Obito just turns his head, “I wasn’t finished”

Kakashi looks unimpressed at all, Obito could feel it behind his mask. “You talked to him long enough, Obito.”

The wood trapped him shrinks down releasing the limp body to fall hard to the floor

“Talking too much like a drama villain could be the end of you. I wouldn’t be here forever to babysit your clumsy behind.” Kakashi continued

“You’re the one who always getting your ass saved by me, you pompous fuck.”

Obito crouches down and pulls out the kunai of the man’s forehead. Giving it to Kakashi without looking at him. He stood up, avoiding the pool of red gushing bigger and bigger on the varnished floor.

Kakashi looked at Obito almost knowingly, “He has the same reason as any traitors we have hunted down before. Why do you keep doing this?”

“I don’t know, after weeks of tracking a guy down, maybe I want a story, a good insight why someone turned out like this”

“Does it matter? We all have such struggles and it all boils down in the choice of succumbing to it or not.” Kakashi just sighs, “and we have no way of finding out he is telling the truth anyway.”

After he closed the man’s eyelids, Obito just looked at Kakashi with utter disapproval. Obito always see Kakashi as someone who perceived the world in black and white, succumb or not, true or false, it’s always been that way since they were children, only getting less insufferable thanks to Obito’s influence, whether Kakashi’s would want to admit it or not. Kakashi might be Konoha’s most overrated brightest bulb, second only to the sun, but he has the emotional capacity of a carcass. Obito always noted that maybe that’s why he’s so good at being a ninja, a job that degrades one’s sense of self day after day.

For Obito, he needed to give some kind of tribunal to those he’ll come to assassinate, the context of their crimes. Just so he doesn’t feel their crimes, their deaths, and his own endeavors meaningless. In contrast to Kakashi who felt their stories are just a weight to one’s conscience and a potential jam to his systemic mindset. Obito felt utterly uncomfortable being a small gear to a monstrous machine of the shinobi system.

Obito couldn’t help to wonder if the man was true, if his mutiny is his attempt to follow the greater truth. But it doesn’t matter to him, he murdered the people who trusted him and that’s a step too far for Obito because he always operated under one rule of thumb : never betray a friend. A rule Kakashi finds too simplistic and could break in thousands of situations. but Obito knows Kakashi agrees with it in the most essential level, because he hold loyalty in such a high degree. Judging from Kakashi’s view of life and society.

Kakashi has this mindset that almost reminds Obito of Madara, both see humanity as inherently violent with a natural tendency to infringe in each other’s rights. The difference is Kakashi believed the cure to this is societal order, to intermingle one’s right with other’s duty and vice versa. Madara however, believed there is a salvation for this, the Utopia of infinite Tsukuyomi. To finally abandon all the oppressive quality of reality and redefining it . Both mindset favors loyalty to the cause they pursue.

Obito finally snaps back from his tangent thought. to see Kakashi pondering hard and checking his surroundings in how to erase their trail so the investigation wouldn’t lead to an international feud against the land of lightning. Kakashi would never trust Obito enough to help out, obito would only muck up everything with obvious clues the asshole said.

Obito’s eyes just wandered to the abundance of gifts and parcels the man received, probably thank you from the kumogakure higher ups for his well-informed intel of Konoha’s garrison or maybe a welcome gift from his mutiny against Konoha, Obito couldn’t be too sure. Such a waste Obito thought, even if the guy is alive he’ll never be able to finish it all.

Then an idea pops into his head.

-

“We’ve rang the bell five times already! Is anyone even there?” Obito fretted

“Calm down” Kakashi said behind him

The two young Anbu have transformed into two old men. Staring intently at Obito’s clones who he turned into old ladies . Standing idly to what Kakashi said is an orphanage they found two miles from the land of lightning border.

“Is this place is even an orphanage!? Maybe you’ve chosen the wrong place, smartass!”

“Just send another old lady to read the giant sign over there.” Kakashi answered reluctantly.

“Is it even operational!?”

You’d think the bright lights by the window would give out an obvious clue to Obito, but Kakashi knows Obito is just being voicing his antsy mood. he’s always loose his patience easily when something excites him so

“Maybe they’re busy. It’s a special night after all… maybe they’re singing or-”

Then suddenly one of Obito’s clones does a mokuton to the door

BANG!

“What gives!?” Obito half yelled. Kakashi’s eyes just pops out.

The clones disappeared out of the fear. Obito whispered “Cowards!”

“So is your big idea of generous gifts also comes with vandalism?”

“I didn’t know they’ll do that!” Obito’s clones shares Obito’s impatience yet not the teaspoon of self-control he has. “The door seemed okay..”

Finally, an old lady emerged from the orphanage door. To see the mysterious abundance ofparcels and a fat brown envelope sitting by the welcome mat. After begging Kakashi to pilfer the over-abundant of gifts the man has. Kakashi helped Obito choose the things that couldn’t be easily tracked down, because Obito basically wanted to strip the house bare to be gifts.

Kids comes along behind the old lady, who was tentative of the gifts at first but finally gives in as the kids were manic with enthusiasm to raid it all.

“I hope it’s enough.” Obito sighs

Judging by the look the old woman gave after she opened the large envelope. Kakashi smiles, he quite sure it’s enough

After seeing the joyful little crowd in front of the orphanage The two decided to walk back to the alleyway and transformed back to their cloaked figure

“Satisfied?” Kakashi asked

“Yup” very much. Even though the two of them ruined their target, Ikezawa, Christmas for good, at least he didn’t let his earnings go to waste. And For obito he finally got the the good ending for his holiday ruining mission.

Obito remembers why he didn’t choose champion Madara’s cause, choosing the world where Rin died so cruelly and tragically as the reality. It’s basically boils down to his rule of thumb, his loyalty to the real things that he felt like not the idea of a grand “what-if” like Ikezawa did, at least that’s what he believe Rin fought for. With that rule of thumb as his foundation he believes he won’t question the tiniest good deeds he’ll able to wrangle from his grinding life-style. It’ll be a real reward.

“I think one day we should come back here and educate them precautions in taking in gifts” Kakashi added

“What do you mean?”

“Not everyone has well intentions when they left gifts by your door, what if we were to lace them with poision? It’ll be too easy when they are so trusting with anonymous gifts.”

“Who’ll benefit in doing that to orphans!?”

“You’ll never know” Kakashi mused.  

Great

knowing full well where Obito’s mind would head to , Kakashi added. “And relax, those parcels are safe, if they were poisoned I would’ve smelled it.”

Yeah, but there’s an unnecessary 1% chance that’ll bother Obito for the rest of their journey. Kakashi is such an asshole.

 ----

I’m sorry if there’s a spelling error/weird grammar. I double checked, but sometimes i just missed things repeatedly :,DD. i hope you’re having a fun holiday!

[survivorfillory]

Lily’s Jury Question

Congrats to you both, but I’m not here for pleasantries. I’m here to get down to it. I’m currently undecided in my vote. I will take how you answer my questions very seriously.

Maynor- 1.  “I had overall good standing that i was given the CODE 4-0-6 for that advantage”

So you mean Colin and myself put in the work for you to get handed an idol, just so you could play that idol on dean and ensure Colin went home? You didn’t get an idol because of your “good standing”. You got an idol because myself and Colin trusted you. More of a statement but feel free to respond.

2. Just say I didn’t go out when I did and instead Nicole left. How would that have impacted the game? How long would I have lasted with you lying straight to my face?

3. Why did you take Jess to the end over Dani?

4. When you were deciding who would be at F2 with you, did you count how many votes you thought you would get at FTC? Did you expect to get mine with how you played the game?

5. You can respond to this if you choose but be careful. I guess I just thought we had more trust then what I’m realizing. I didn’t know you were essentially in a premade F3. I thought you were the kind of person who wanted to play hard and didn’t just rely on who they already knew. Good job getting control of dean and making it as far as you did. But saying that I was your second closest ally to Dani in my ROP didn’t leave me feeling good and def doesn’t earn my respect or vote.

Jess- 1. What move was most essential in your premerge game? Be specific. 2. What move was most essential in your merge game? Be specific. 3. I was shocked and disappointed that you decided to not participate in one of the final challenges in the game. I have a tough time voting for someone who doesn’t really compete to their best ability. How am I supposed to vote for you when less effort was put forth in challenges?

BONUS QUESTION CAUSE WHY NOT: This season had some of the most dramatic twists yet all the jurors were bored and most anticipated the ending as it occurred. What could you have done differently to make this season more exciting/unpredictable?

Thanks for taking the time to respond to all my questions and I’m interested to see who takes the win. Byeeeeee

Hey Lily! Let’s get down to business!

1. So pre-merge for myself was not a walk in a park at all. The most essential move I made has a couple of layers to it and is technically two essential moves so I hope you don’t mind!

So, in order to explain this move, I have to provide you with a little backstory. Keaton was someone who I mistakenly trusted with a little too much info early on. Because of that, I had to clean up the mess Keaton caused between myself, Nicole, and Dennis. In order to do this, I used the Julia vote to gain back trust or at least to appear less threatening with my “numbers”. Although, Julia was someone who I was working with at the time on BOTH of my tribes, I knew I had to sacrifice her in order to further myself in the game after Hurricane Kwaton struck for both Dennis/Nicole to at least entertain the thought of me not wanting to murder them for a round... I was one of two swing votes that round.

Speaking of Keaton, the second essential move to this all way laying down the ground work to Keaton’s demise. I know I can’t 100% claim this move on my own because I had no vote in the say. HOWEVER, I believe I got the ball rolling and provided the framework on getting out someone who wasn’t good for my game. I did so by using the One World twist to branch out to your tribe. I exposed Keaton’s plan to take out Dean to Dean, (That’s 1 number), I let both Dani and Maynor (2 and 3) know Keaton was not to be trusted, that he was throwing out info/challenges, and that he gave me the FAMOUS Kelley Wentworth answer... WHICH I told my tribe just for added measures so it'd leak into yours possibly.

2. I’ve never been much of a “Flashy” player so a lot of my essential moves occurred more subtly because I didn’t draw too much attention to myself.

However, the most PIVOTAL move I believe I made in the game was creating the “Narwhals” (yes that was the real name, yes I know it’s lame) alliance.  I initiated it, gathered everyone together, and I do believe it was my social game and my individual relationships to each member of it (Maynor, Dani, Dean) which was the glue that kept us together for as long as it did. This alliance allowed me to do so many different things in this game such as take out big targets while remaining one myself, play the middle, and have 3 people willing to take me to the end despite being a threat and in a “duo” (That's kind of a move on it's on..). Additionally, my threat level was something that was talked about throughout the season and seen in "Touchy Subjects" where I was labelled: “Who do you trust the most”, “who do you talk to the most”, and most IMPORTANTLY “Who would you like to win this game”.

3. I understand your disappointment, I was also incredibly disappointed in myself for not getting the challenge done. I tried my hardest and did the challenge for over 3 hours (yikes) and I knew at that point someone or everyone would have beaten me. Rather than spend any more time doing the challenge, I decided it’d be best to get right to work ensuring I wasn’t going to be targeted at tribal. I also believed I could potentially use this to my advantage to decrease my “competition threat” target that had been a focal point of the arguments prior to tribal the day before. However, there are no excuses for giving up and my decision to not complete the puzzle was not taken lightly and I’m still disappointed to this day about it. Additionally, I gave my all in every challenge in this game and I hope that was reflected in the 3 immunities I won, and the two I came close in.

BONUS QUESTION CAUSE WHY NOT:

For my own personal game, I wouldn’t have changed a thing (as boring as that sounds) because every move I personally made was essential to my success and my path to getting to the end.

However, IF I had to do something different to spice things up, I think I would have flipped my vote onto Dani. That way I wouldn’t have been seen in a “duo” anymore, and the power probably would have shifted because Dean would have also jumped ship and it would have been less predictable. It would have been a m-e-s-s but it'd at least be less predictable!

Hope I answered your questions okay!

Lily-

1. I didnt say it right but yeah. Meant to say that i was able to make strong bonds with people which got me trust which helped with the code. Because if we didnt have that bond you guys wouldnt have given it to me. (The vote was for nicole to go when the idol was played. Not Colin.)

2. If you have said, i would have stuck with you and colin because I did want to play the game with you guys. Every word i said about us going to the end was true. It would have been hard to vote Dani and Jess out but would have because i meant it. But u cant say i was the only lying to you. You also lied to me by telling Dennis about the real clownies alliance without telling me. We both were playing our own games and we both had relationships with people in the game that we felt could help us. You cant get mad at me for trying to keep those connections in good standing cuz you were doing the same. Im not the only one who lied.

3. In the end of my thought process i felt me and Jess played similair games that the jury could go either way. Is it a risk yeah for sure. That was one part of my thought but also i spent the whole game with them that i decided to talk to both and Dani decided to sacrifice her game so Jess n I could be in f2. (She did it for other reasons but doesnt have to do with this game). I respect Dani a lot that I honared her wish. 

4. To be honest. No. I was just more genuinely happy that I made it to the end of the game for a theme that I really loved. This is only my 3rd time being here and I have learned that you should never expect to have anyone vote to win. Would I like to receive your vote? Yes 100% but it’s your vote and your decision which in the end I would ultimitly have to respect. 

5. I dont know if saying anything would help you believe me or not. It’s always going to come down if you believe what im saying and its just not something im just saying to get your vote. I trusted you a lot. The phrasing in rop wasnt how i felt. It was crazy how much I trusted you in the game. I know it sounds fake but im being truthful that i had equal trust to u colin dani n jess. I kept having the idol from them until I used it to save Dean. Indid that because i was also lyoal to you guys and it was our idol. Yeah its true that me Jess and Dani were working together. There was the idea of us being f3 in the beginning but it was just more of it would be really awesome if we could do it. The thing that made us solidify truly was when we felt Dennis and Nicole were coming for us 

5. I didnt mean to disrespect you in the rop if I did I truly didnt mean it. Im sorry of I did. Once again its your vote and Ill respect whichever way you vote.

6. For everyone to be in the same time zone. There were people who were from outside the us which affect the time they were on. The time zones also have an affect with activeness. People being busy with their real lifes and not being really allowed to be much on. Having more convo and people being in the main chat would have made the season more exciting.

[cyn009]

I just didn’t know...

So, not a lot of you really know me. I think most people follow me for the Critical Role, and gaming stuff I repost from other people. I hardly ever post something myself. And because of this, and because i feel like i need to atleast write this, this is the best place to put it. Its ok if no one reads it, but here it goes.

I have always had a big imagination. I was always the quiet, A honor roll student that always obeyed her parents, and wanted nothing more than to make them proud. While making homework and whatnot, i would watch my older brother draw. He is an amazing artists, and i remember feeling like nothing compared to him. He was better than me at everything i loved. Art, video games, he had a big group of friends that got together almost every day. The only thing i could do better was coloring. It also really annoyed me how my brother would draw these amazing pictures, but in the faintest pencil markings. I was always telling him, “You draw so awesome! Why not make it noticeable enough for people to actually see it?” He always shrugged and said that he didnt care if people didnt see it. I did care. I always looked up to my brother, and i wanted other people to know how good he was. So i asked him if i could make his drawings darker, by giving them a second pass of my own. Not altering the drawing, but simply making the lines darker. He agreed. So i started drawing his drawing all over again, until they were noticeable. Then he would ask me to color them, and i would. He got to sell a lot of his art at fairs and stuff.

I did have friends. I had a group of 4 guy friends in elementary school, who i spent lunch reading Harry Potter books with. I also had 2 girl friends that were my neighbors, who i would “play” barbies with. They would bring their Barbies and all their accessories, and i would bring my Link figurine. The one you could order from the OoT Zelda pamphlet. It was so boring... All they wanted was to dress up the dolls and all that. I wanted to have adventures! 

Never happened with them, or my friends in school.

Later i moved to the US, and i went to middle school, where i met my future girlfriend. I remember so vividly that she said i looked like a whore for dressing up in a dress for a school dance. She was not a good person. But i stuck around. She was different and we would talk about anime and manga. We had this thing that we would do during class in which i would draw a stick figure on a page and pass it to her, who would add a stick figure of her own, interacting with mine. If was amazing! It didnt matter what either of us added to the page, the other would just go with it and continue adding to this story we made together. 

Heh, you could say that my first OCs were literal stick figures. 

We continued friends until high school, where something strange happened. I say strange cuse i dont know of anyone else personally that did this, other than us. I started embodying my OCs. I would say that “Cyn” was in her room, and someone else was possessing my body for the time being. But not just anyone, it was my own characters. People i thought would be best suited to face things than little meek me. Be it school stuff, family stuff, working out, ditching class, even my personal relationship with my girlfriend. She was also doing the same. Acting as her own OCs. I dont know how it started, but it just did. and we kept it up for a long time. All through high school, really. Up until she broke my heart. But it was strange because the girlfriends relationship was between some of out OCs, but not all of them. Some would actively ignore the other, while others just wanted each other in more ways than one. 

I cared so much for her, that i allowed her to rope me into her family drama. It took over my life so much that i had completely replaced my own loving family with her broken one... I say that she broke my heart, and she really did. But i feel like it was the best thing she could have done for me. Experiences with her made me grow up from the perfect little girl that makes her parents proud to a girl that apparently had split personalities.

When she left... I was kind of lost. Having so many personalities out in the open as someone else taking care of my problem didnt work anymore. I didnt want to sound like a crazy person by telling people, “Im not Cyn, im _______.” I realized i had to grow up and admit to myself that it was just me, and i was being the person i wanted to be with the excuse that it was someone else. Because i was nothing. It took me years to get over that. I still sometimes find myself talking to one of my personalities, having full conversations and confrontations. I still feel like it helps me.

Anyways, when me and my grilfriend broke up, i found a new friend. She and I were part of a group of friends that self-published a manga magazine. We organized some OCTs and all that. It was cool.

In one of those OCTs, i met a guy from the other side of the world. We started RPing with each other and started creating this world together that i loved so much that we opened the chat RP to other of our friends from the OCTs. It later turned into a forum RP in this cute website that ran for 1000+ forum pages. If you could see us. All sitting at a table with out computers, like a LAN party, but were just RPing in type. Waiting for each other to post our next thing, and refreshing the page over and over again to keep reading the story. 

Eventually, the forum story reached stagnation with the other characters in the story, so me and my friend took it out to a two person roleplay chat once again. 

We roleplayed with each other for 6 years. This consumed my life just as the other personalities did. I would be with family, but my face on my phone, roleplaying and creating this world that it was just ours. And it was built for years and years, building upon the world i had created since elementary. It was this amazing place that only the two of us knew.

Then i started watching critical role and i wondered if i could do that! Roleplay with other people, maybe bring them into my world.

My first DM experience was typical. I over prepared, and made the encounters so hard that my friends ended up just abandoning the mission and not wanting to play anymore. Atleast not with me as a DM. 

I was nothing again.

So i let my friend be the DM, and i became a player in the world i had helped create for years. Mostly because she didnt like how i was managing the world myself. She wanted control of it, so she took it. I felt like shit about that, but i was not going to be a petty as her. This was just a game. It was not going to mess with the ‘canon lore’ of our imaginary world no one else knew as well as us.

Anyways, it is predictable that we had a falling out, and strangely stopped talking over night. My family had always told me how they felt like my friendship with her was holding me back, and i was determined to not allow that to happen. The loss of her friendship would not stagger me. I am stronger than that. I am strong.

......

I started DMing again. With only one player. The one guy from my group of high school friends that i would have never expected to stay friends with me or willing to face my crazy world alone. But he did! I felt like an idiot that i never took his friendship seriously. He deserved better from me. (btw, Hi, dude!) I DMed a game for him for almost six months, until i felt confident that i knew how to DM better, and he felt like he needed help.

I decided to not invite people we already knew... This was something new, me opening my crazy and letting people play in the world i would escape to in my mind. People we knew would judge me for being broken. Strangers would get to know me like this, and hopefully understand that this is normal for me. 

This was the best thing i could have ever done.

I made that world my own. I erased the places that hurt me and replaced them with adventures and so many new faces. NPCs. Names of people changed, their stories changed, I changed. 

Now i have a group of players that have just finished the first campaign in my world. A 2 year long campaign. And they wanted to return to that world immediately, now having started Campaign 2 without even missing a single session. Not only that, but they ask me for extra sessions! They cant get enough! They are excited to be there and experience the story i will present them! I didnt know... people would like it. 

I asked them what kind of DM they would describe me as. They agreed on “The Depressing DM”. The one that makes them face harsh consequences and situations that challenge their morality. I... I didn’t describe myself as happy until i dropped my old relationships, when out on my own with my world, and found new adventurers. I have always felt loved by my family, but i never thought others could love what i do. I still cant believe it is real. I am actually happy. They want me around because of who i am, what i do, and what i give them. I wished i had known sooner... But i am glad i know now. I am so grateful for my players, my friends. Thank you for welcoming me with such open minds, and joining my game. You guys make me happy. :)

[askpet-archive]

PET MHA 1

Ari is sitting in the main big room, holding a pencil, hands twitching as she wrote quietly on the paper, she knew a new intake was coming today, she wanted to give them a warm welcome.

Era was doodling in a corner of the room, trying not to get it onto the walls. She stared, focused on the disturbing doodles. She was trying something new, 'draw the hallucinations you see.' Kind of like, something to help grasp onto what was real and what wasn't. She glanced up again for what might of been the 5000th time, staring at everyone else in the room

Ari slid out of her seat, walking over to Era and sitting next to her "what are you making?" She asked, smiling softly, messing with a tiny rock in her hand. She had smuggled it inside last time they were allowed to the backyard

Era stares at Ari, fidgeting in her place, before holding up her picture. It's some.. type of bird? Deformed bird? 'This is birdie.' is scrawled on the paper as well Ari smiled "are they nice?"

Era nods her head, murmuring a "yes."

Ari heard the door opened, Ami came in "Ari, Era dears, do you want to meet the new intake?" Ari jumped, ready to g o

Era decided not socializing wouldn't help anything, despite feeling uncomfortable at the thought of meeting others. She stood up with Ari as well, clutching her paper. She wonders what the new people will be like

Ari couldnt touch Era due to rules, but she hovered her hand near Eras waist, ready to pull her close if neccsary. The nurse led them out into the hall, in the hall were two boys, Vince and CM

CM leaned against the hall wall, listening to Vincent while he crossed his arms, "And so the general told me to go into the bunker-" CM interrupted, "And then you found the others fortified without you. I know, you told me the story millions of times." He grunted, Vincent sighed and combed his hand through his hair.

Ari waved at this guy, smiling "bonjour! Im Arianna!" She exclaimed "this is my best friend Era!"

Era waves at the two of them, giving a blank stare. She continues to hold her paper with her right hand

Vincent looked hopeful, "More survivors! Oh I'm so glad that the carrier was able to load in more units, I thought Colonel and I were the last batch making it to the hospital!" He said in glee, CM fixing his bandages on the left side of his face.

Ari played along, nodding "yep! I was terrified when shhhhstuf went down, i got Era and Spop out as fast as possible though"

Vincent waved over to CM, "Come Colonel! Do you recognize any of these soldiers? Were these any of yours?" CM sighed and got up from the wall and slouched over, staring at them, "Ah yes... they are..." He looked at their nametags, "Ari and Era... None of mine though." CM played along.

Era blinks, frowning. Soldiers? Survivors? Oh no, had the apocalypse started yet and she wasn't informed? That would be bad, really. What kind of apocalypse would it be? Maybe aliens finally invaded. That would prove everyone she was right about them. She's just staring off into nothing now, lost in thought, forgetting that other people were in the room

CM snapped his fingers, "Hey. Hey." He bent over closer, "There's nothing going on. I'm acting." He whispered, smiling and putting his index finger over his mouth, "Shh..."

Ari softly pinched Eras hand, wake up. "Oh, you guys arent in uniform yet, ill show you too it. Leader Amanda says its good for everyone to be in regular clothing, leaves our bodies light enough to train"

Era blinks, going out of her thoughts once the two of them got her out of it. Oh, okay. Aliens would invade someday, though. She was really sure of that. Oh, wait, did she need to say something? Maybe not.. she didn't have anything to say.. is that a bad thing? Ari's talking to them now, okay, she doesn't need to anymore

CM got up from his leaning position, directing his question to Ari, "So, what's wrong with you guys? I might as well ask to make sure anyone pulls a knife on us. Luckily I made myself a bodyguard, he gets annoying but he's alright."

Ari snickered "i wont hurt anyone. I just...see...things..." she trailed off, looking behind him "era is.. kind of...she just hallucinates i think.." "Schizophrenic." Era mutters, just loud enough for him to hear

He nodded, "Hallucinations are very popular in here, myself... I have DID. I might as well not say their names or they might want to meet you." He pointed over towards Vincent, "That guy has PTSD, he thinks he's in WW2.  A real interesting guy."

Aris eyes widened "poor guy! Maybe he had a past life" she heard the DID statement, she looked at CM "id love to meet them. Ive met people with it before, its interesting"

CM glared at her, not menacingly, just curious. "You want to meet them? Well, one of them wont be able to come out because my camera is upstairs... I guess I could have Actor come out..." He muttered as he said Actor's name. He stepped back and took a breath, bowing and starting to say, "Act I... Prolouge... From ancient grudge break to new mutiny..." He began with a dull tone. CM suddenly paused mid sentence and put on a glorious expression as if he was on a spotlight, "Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes. A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; Whole misadventured piteous overthrows!" He cheered, boastfully ending his talk, bending over and shaking both Era and Ari's hands.

Era jerks her hand away almost immediately, stepping back a bit. Wait, oh no, was that rude? Oh no, she didn't mean to be rude, she just didn't want them to touch her, oh no. "Sorry-" She would of said more, explaining why she did it, but decided after one word that she didn't want to talk anymore and just stood next to Ari rather awkwardly

Ari jolted a bit. H i. "Oh, hi." She chuckled, shaking his hand "touch isnt allowed here just so you know..you said your name was Actor?" She smiled "Arianna, pleasure to meet you"

Actor bowed and apologized, "My mistake, M'Lady and Ser. Alot of people here are shy audiences... Only Vincent really enjoys my company..." He started to get down, then put on a happy smile again, "I'll take my intermission." Actor blinked, CM coming back again."He didnt touch you guys right? I swear if he did again..."

Ari laughed "its ok! I love contact, he can touch me, hand poke, hug, anythin. I dont care, Era doesnt like it though"

CM facepalmed, and heaved, "Can this guy remember the rules or what..."CM stepped back away and signaled Vincent with a snap, "Alright Vincent. Let's go. I better get back and find some new plastic cups, they always forget to give me some after room service." Vincent stood in attention and nodded his head, walking down the hall as CM walked behind him.

Spop was sitting in the common room. In her arms was a pig plushie that she clutched tightly, quietly muttering to it.

Ari decided now was a good time to- oh. Wait whats that. She starts following something only she can see, down the boy bedroom hall

Era blinks, now standing in the empty room. Uh. Okay. She looks around, before just, sitting down and going back to her drawing

-----

CM drunk from a plastic cup, surveying a dead outside with nothing but dark gloomy trees and muddy grass. Vincent sat down next to Spop, "Hello! How's Klondike? Did the nurse patch him up?"

Spop looked up at Vincent and her eyes sparkled. "Mhm! He is all better now!"Vincent's face lit up, "That's superb!" CM looked down at the two of them , "Vincent, did the nurse tell you anything about when your leaving?" He asked, Vincent shrugged, "She told me that I wont be out of care for another few years. You?"CM sighed, "I havent heard much..."

"The nurse says that I cant leave as long as I talk to Klondike"

"Actor may know, but he rarely wants to speak to me. Cammy just... changes the subject over to if I cleaned the lenses off my camera or not."

Spop tilted her head and her eyes lit up more when Actor was mentioned. Spop likes Actor

Ari walked into the room, she looked upset. "Hey guys" she muttered, "...did you guys know we're all broken and insane and nothing we think we see can be actually real and the only reason we're like this is because we're weaker then the rest of the population?"

CM looked up quickly, getting up and signaled her to zip her mouth. "I swear if you... yknow- I'll actually have Actor perform a death act. Those two cant handle something like that! And for a fact, Im stronger than alot of healthy people." Vincent looked up at CM, his eyes fearful, "That's not... true. Right General? Atleast for me? I'm a healthy guy... right?" He glared over at Ari in an intense stare, "What made you think..."

Ari looked..completely out of it. Her eyes were glazed over, mouth stuck in a tiny frown, she had probably just had her meds "nope! You arent healthy! No one here is!"she laughed

CM couldnt make out a reply, his heart felt shattered, "I-I'm healthy... just not mentally. I believe... the nurses wont tell me anything about my condition..." He looked over towards Vincent who looked petrified, CM quickly stepped over towards him, "Vincent. Go to your quarters. You are ordered to forget about this conversation. Take the pills the nurse put on your drawer"Vincent got up and gloomly shuffled his way out of the room, nervously holding onto himself. CM swiftly turned heel and walked back towards Ari, "Why."

Ari shook her head and laughed again "merly told me! He also told me that no one here actually exsists, im all alone in the solitude room, or dead" she looked puzzled for a second "im probably dead"

"Ari, think about it. Would you be able to feel this if you were dead." CM held one of Ari's hands, knowing it could land him in solitude. He took a deep breath, "If you still think you're dead, know this. Atleast you have people to talk to. Death would be pure darkness. If no one existed... well... you wouldnt be able to smell the roses and fresh cut grass in the gardens."

Ari froze when he grabbed her hand, her eyes kind of, unglazing, she looked confused, before she realized "oh..god, i, oh jeez- my meds always do that, its a side effect.." she panicked a bit, looking around..no nurses were nearby, she hugged CM in thanks, before quickly pulling back "did-did i say something bad? I didnt upset anyone did i..?"

CM looked at were Vincent left the room, "Vincent may have heard your little rampage. I told him to go upstairs and take those memory pills the nurse gave him. Just to make sure he's alright, I think we should see him." He spoke, still in his mind of how heartwarming it was to recieve a hug. Actor was shouting in his head about how CM could break the rules and he couldnt

Ari starts running to go find Vincent, probably peeking into his room "Vincey..?"

Ami the nurse walked into the common room, glaring at CM "..i saw that. Dont let it happen again. There are attachment boundaries here Cam. No touching"she growled

CM let out a small groan, rolling his eyes as she left the room. He trailed behind Ari.Vincent was laying down on his bed, hands folded together and his eyes looking up at the ceiling. He heard his nickname, turning his head towards the door and surprised to see Ari. "Oh! Ari! Hey, what's up..." The glass of water next to him was empty and the pill bottle was open.

Ari decided not to mention it, instead putting on a smile "oh, nothing. Just checking on you. CM said you came up here. I wanted tp see if we could hang out!" She goes into his room and sits on the side of his bed, casually taking the pill bottle and reading what it does

He sat up in the bed, he gladly accepted the invitation. "That'll be great! What time is it? Wow, 4:36? I thought the clock was 12:23 when I looked at it a little bit ago." CM came in and sighed in relief, pulling up a chair towards the bed and sat with the others.

The pill bottle had information about erasing memory from 5-4 hours earlier after taking the pill.

Ari stared at it, before cracking a smile, slipping a pill up her sleeve and into a tiny pocket she had bitten into the fluff, before putting the pill bottle down Ari  smiled softly, ruffling her friends hair "you mustve fallen asleep. Do you wanna talk about strategies orr, can me or CM tell a story?"

He nodded his head, "I'd love to hear your guys' stories for once!" CM looking at the clock and knew they werent supposed to be here at this time...

Ari nodded and clapped her hands together, about to start, before she seemed to see something, her body freezing up.

CM noticed her freezing up, glancing up at her and tried to see whatever she's seeing. He looked back at her and gave her hand a quick tap, and whispered, "Psst."

Vincent looked behind himself, "Ari?"

Ari pulled back when he touched her. Whatever shes seeing, it aint good. Shes shaking.

CM fully turned to her, "Hey. Remember what therapy told you. Generalize the situation. Calm down. And tell me what you see."

Ari didnt answer, shes starting to cry

"I- they-" she looked at CM and forced back a scream, skittering backward "CM..? Are you-" hes bleeding oh my god..

---

Spop walked over to Era and put her chin on the couch next to Era. She stared at the drawing before smiling. "It looks pretty"

Era gives a ghost of a smile, nodding a "thanks." to Spop

Spop giggled

She pauses in the drawing for a moment, glancing up, before adding something to it "how are you.." It seemed more like a statement then a question, but oh well

"I'm good. you?"

"mmm.." Era looks up again, focusing on something, before replying "fine."

Spop sighed and walked off to find someone else to talk to. It was clear Era had other things to do. Not like Era trusted her

Era brings her gaze over to Spop, staring as she started to walk off, "wait-" Oh, no, well what does she say now. She really did want to talk more, the silence was beginning to become suffocating  "uhm. hows klondike?" Okay, tack on that

Spop turned around and looked at Era. "Klondike doing well. The lady in green came and fixed him right up!"

"oh, that's good. the nurses are always really nice, right?"

"Uh huh, though rumor has it" She leaned in close to Era "One of em isn't a human"

Era's eyes widen "oh! i bet it's the one with the messy bun, right? she always acted weird, weird, weird.. secretive!"

"I bet it's the one who runs this place. The black man"

Era thinks for a moment "that seems like it'd be true, too. there's a lot of evidence for it.. i haven't seen much people notice though.."

Speaking of the 'blonde man' Charles walks into the room "hello girls!" He smiled "im sorry ive been on the adult side all day, was group today enjoyable?"

Spop looked at Charles and squinted her eyes. "It was"

Era looks over at him, her face going back to being a blank stare "i think it was nice."

He nodded "perfect! Anywho, its about 5 minutes from dinnertime, you hungry?"

Era nods, slightly eager. Food was always nice, especially when she wanted to be distracted

Spop nodded and ran off to get Klondike

Charles clapped his hands together, going to go find the other three patients

---

CM holds her name, shaking it slightly. "Hey. Come back to us. Ari. Snap out of it. We're here!" Vincent sat there, quiet. He doesnt know what to do. He looks hopelessly towards CM.

Ari blinked a few times, it wasnt going away "CM.." she whined, grabbing his arm. This was normal uh

CM heard footsteps coming towards their room, he doesnt know wether he should force Ari's grip off of him or just accept punishment.

Charles looked in the room, a confused look on his face when he looked in "..what is going on in here?!" He exclaimed, too late now

Ari doesnt really realize, girl is just cryin dont mind her

CM yelped at the sight of him at the door, freezing. Vincent saw the man and closed his mouth,  'Umm.. he um. Ari- er."

Charles went over and pulled CMs arm away from Ari, proceeding to carefully inject something into the frozen girls arm, before turning back to CM "three touches. In one day, CM, give me one reason i shouldnt put you on watch."

"They were all for good reasons. I swear. Please dont put me in solitude." He winced at the word of him having three touches in ONE day. Getting up quickly and kept out of the proximity of the other two.

Charles sighed, idiot boy. He looked  at  Vincent "go head to dinner with the others, Ari will join you later, you too cm."

Vincent got up from the bed, CM motioned him to speed up. They both left the room, quiet muttering fell behind them.

[degenlife-blog]

one time i was sitting in my house on my own i had just split up with my gf who was a crack head but she was nice.. the room was dark i was surrounded by bottles of piss half eaten sandwiches i even had a crust behind my ear i was quite sad because i was busto and heartbroken i thought maybe we would make it work and she would be my main squeese anyway she left me for a crack dealer..so at this point im feelin like ten dewey heart aching empty busto feeling and linger tilt from stacking off with a flush draw because some crotch monkey over bets the pot and i run into the swinging blade and throw up 2 clanging bricks and I just punch my ****in monitor almost put my fist through it and then i kicked my coffee table but not like a regular person no no no..i have to hit it as hard as I can with my ****ing shin!!!! wtff was i thinking im not van damme or some **** that hurt so bad i collapsed in agony and started crying i just laid there whimpering in agony sobbing and eventually the pain eased off but i had blood running all the way down my leg..i just laid there on the carpet for 2 hours staring into space i even knocked one out while laying in the recovery position i felt so lazy like a lazy slob and i smelt so rank like chinese food in a dumpster for days..i eventually get up im wearing stripey boxers and half of them is up my ass ive got my ass cheek showing but i dont care i sit at my pc and watch some 200/400 on betfair wishing i was in the game..i kept sitting at a table hoping i would have cash in my account i actually prayed to mary magdagascar..i check my emails and boooom titan poker have put free money in my damn account!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooooooooooooo..it felt like a blessing. Its like 5 dollars..so I go straight to max but in 5c/10c or some BS where u get nit on nits and I run that **** up to 20 in no time, then I but in at 25/50 and I hit a big overset and and I make some decent bluffs I get my stack to 145..at this point im thinking ok just play this mother****ing cool dont be a degen waste of lung capacity but i say *** it i will take a shot at 2/4... so I pick the easiest table luckily for me they are all easy and first hand I shove with the doyle brunson just for good luck everyone folds secnd hand i get AA..I shove I get 2 callers an Iwin and im oer 400 i say**** this and i goto 5/10 witha short stack what else am i suppose to do..i run this upto 3k pretty easily and step up to 10/20 and in 3 hours I have 13k..then it happened..I GET KING ****ING KING and some guy called han solo (TILTED) raises me to 30 dollars I re raise to 180 He raises to 550 I call planning to shove any flop flop comes AAA ..he says to me in chat I HAVE IT and bets the pot im like wtf ..thats areverse reversal bluff damn *** he must have it **** i cant fold i felt my heart speed up kind of like a panic attack how can i fold this my dad is in my ear saying DONT CALL he has the 4 of a kind im like no dad let me play my own damn hands why cant you go and play poker with otis redding always ****** interfering ..and i start arguing with him cant believe i have gone from 5 dollars to over a 20k pot in just hours..I call and he flips over QQ..I FIST PUMP LIKE IM OHN MACKENROE SHOUTING NOW WHAT NOW WHAT DAD HE DIDNT SAY **** TURN QUEEN RIVER QUEEENNNNNNNNNNN>>OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I MWAS SO ****IN MAD I STARTED SPITTINGup BLOOD FOAMING UP ...PUNCHED MY SELF in teh side of the head AND STARTED SHOUTING AT MY DAD INSIDE MY HEAD IM LIKE **** OFF LEAVE ME ALONE GET OUT OF My HEAD.. OMGG IM BUSTO AGAIN I FEEL LIKE A WORM WHO HAS HAS BIN SHOVELLED WHEN THE GROUND IS COLD OR MABE STUCK HIS HEAD IN A TURD..I FELT LIKE SUCH A ****INg DEGEN I COULD HAVE PLAYED 5/10 with 13k so easily and made decent rake and maybe found me some new pussy easily when i tell em im back to being a pro...first i burnt my hand on the stove on purpose omggg i was so wasted i went out in the backyard stark naked i started climbing the trees and just trying to get back to nature and forget the damn poker..loking back id lost my damn mind that pot had eloctrocuted my noodle..it started to rain and i looked so pathetic i couldnt even get a crack whore to stay with me and I had a big hemmaroid and my white pastey body stood out under the grey sky i must have looked like a sagging bag of milk... ..all i wanted to do was grind for 18 hours a day and fester in my own filth and live the life of a poker pro grind on the mind till i die make my tomb a house of cards.. i wanted to give up so bad.. now i was busto and i couldnt see a break in the clouds or any hope the next day when i woke up i had to masturbate just so i could get out of bed i browsed 2+2 and went back to bed for 3 days..I didnt even get up to go peepee i just pissed the bed because i was busto and nothing else mattered..i kept reminded myself that atleast i nwasnt the fat sloth puppet in that movie seven where he gets locked in a bat cave and is made to eat spaghetti till his guts spill open..but this didnt make me feel any better.. whats urine and the smell of a cheesy ritz cracker ass crack when you lost a 26k pot? i didnt give a **** about pissing on myself by that point..i could of had a milllion dingelberries attatched to my ass i wouldnt have cared...i was so upset the lowest point for so long even lower than when i talked myself out of a guy giving me a BJ for $100 I just couldnt do it..i felt lower than when my mom force fed me flowers..I almost killed myself on day 2 when metallica came on the radio..i dont know how I ever made it out alive..i always swear to this day it was just the hope of being back in action someday..it lifted me out of the bottomless pit and gave me reason to live and breathe..never quit guys..not even when they are dragging your face through the ****..there is always someone worse off than you..like a guy with a glass eye with a fish in it....keep grind on the mind

[mylifediaryposts]

25/04/17

I have depression. I feel like for the first time I can say that openly and honestly to myself. 

I cant play instruments or draw so I had to find my release. Im hoping that it may just help or give comfort to anyone who may be in this position and hasn’t got to the point of helping themselves.

I think Ive suffered with depression for years and I have just let in manifest into my everyday life, from not being able to stick at something, to my failing relationships. I was reading an article on male depression the other week and Ive never related to something more than this.

“The emotional abuse I saddled on those around me remains the worse product of my depression. I allowed depression to burden not only me, but two girlfriends, my family, and my closest friends. One girl could not deal with it and ended up leaving me.  The other stuck around longer, and I abused her emotions without knowing it. I was terrifyingly cold and unfeeling, even as she broke down into tears and begged me to say anything.  I made her feel responsible for anything that went wrong in my life.  I left her more than once without warning, but would soon come back  and manipulate her damaged emotions to get back together. All of it was a way for me to artificially build myself back up. I was trying to destroy my depression, but I ended up harming the most vulnerable people in my life. Cowardice and dishonesty dictated my thinking”

I don’t know if you have ever read anything that hits you right down to your core, where you can see yourself in another person. This extract pushed me to the edge. This is something i’ve subconsciously been doing for years and Ive mental broken two strong women with my actions and I think thats the part that will haunt me for a long time. Im not a bad guy i’m the first person to go out of my way to help anybody if i can, so to feel that I could bring someone down to there lowest through my behaviour is something that I will always been sorry for.

Then there is drink, it can be your best friend and your worst enemy. I love the social aspect of drinking. I like to be around people and feel that people want to be around me but its when drink becomes something you do stop your brain chatter it becomes an issue. Which leads into it being the only thing you want to do. When the fun stops. STOP.

I think like most people I have no idea why I am depressed or even when it actually started. Ive faced it now and now I have to be strong enough to push through everyday. This is something that nobody can help you with. Whilst I am on this subject Id like to talk depression from my own experience. For years I didn’t really believe depression existed. Ive been through my fair share of shit as a child and into my teens but Id always just pick myself up and keep going. When I first helped my friend during her dark times I could listen and advise but deep down I thought just be happy, get on with it and that you’re just a bit down. Which I think is the same thoughts for most people when you hear the word. Now that I’m there I realise what these people were telling me. I can only explain it as: Imagine someone is shaking your head whilst you are trying to pull yourself out of quicksand. They stop shaking your head for a minute but that was the only thing stopping you from sinking. Or you know the part in deadpool with the tank that starves him of oxygen but thats you feeling strong then when the machine turns on you lose all ability to think, move and all you want to do is lie in bed and sleep. Ive been sad, Ive dealt with things that are not nice but this is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Im sure theres a few of you reading this that know what I’m saying and if you don’t I really hope you never will.

As men from nursery we were always taught that the men are strong and you look after the girls and make sure they’re safe. The theme runs throughout childhood stories and into disney films with the princess in the tower and the brave knight has to face the dragon to rescue her from the tower. I’ve always been the go to guy when people needed help or advice. Its something I pride myself on. Ive always been the strong figure in my family so facing this has been a major challenge for me. Telling the people closest to you that you're not okay is hard and I wont forget the look my mom gave me before embracing me in a massive hug! I kept mine to myself for ages and now in hindsight I wish I had spoken out sooner! 

I have loads more to write but lets not give you all the good stuff in one go! I only have two small points to make. 1. This is not me looking for sympathy this is me finding an outlet that i’m hoping may help somebody else. 2. Im still me, I don’t want to be pussy footed around, and don’t worry i’m not contagious. 

I hope this hasn’t bored you to much and Ill be updating this with my good days and bad days and also the things i’ve found that have worked for me and the ones that haven’t. Its not easy for me to share this journey but I feel us as men need to be more open as to many of us suffer for no reason!