#would probably be aged up Wilmon

[lovelierbitsoflife]

Went through a whirlwind romance that ended in a semi-tragic unresolved event that could possibly turn into a real life sequel or at a very least an interesting time skip. Wondering if I should do the classic writer move and create a fanfic based on my own personal tragedy just so I can process what I went through

[skibasyndrome]

Wilmon + "please I need you inside me"

cw: this is... definitely nsfw, a lil bit angsty... messy exes reunited at a party?

ALSO: the word count on this bad boy got... completely out of hand (EDIT: that's why this is also available on ao3 now)

"Please, I need you inside me." Simon's whispered confession hits Wille like a freight train. It's not what he expected him to say, not after everything, not after all this time, not after what he said last time. Not as his first full sentence towards Wille, after an awkward "hey" in front of Felice and Sara who are the only reason they even came to Maddie's party in the first place. Not after asking if Wille "has a minute" one and a half hours later.

It's all wrong and Wille is confused, so fucking confused and a little bit too tipsy to really connect the dots (have there been hints all evening? have there been signs he misread?). Instead of asking any of the millions of questions floating around his mind (Why do you want me now? Did you change your mind? What happened to the new guy? Why here?) he just stutters, unsure what to say, unsure what to do about the goosebumps mottling the skin of his neck, even moments after Simon has already pulled away again. "Simon, I don't..." (Why didn't you text? Why didn't you call?) Simon's expression twists painfully and Wille knows, oh god he knows what this sounds like and he needs to fix this. "I...," and the words still don't make their way out, so he reaches out, fingers grazing the inside of Simon's wrist, so soft and so smooth and so reminiscent of the times this was what they did. (Why did you push me away when this is what you want?) "We can't," Wille tries instead, desperate, breathless, feels his chest contract angrily, feels his resolve crumble with every passing second that he's skin to skin with Simon. Fingertips on the wrist are enough to set his skin on fire. Enough to bring him back to two years ago. (Why didn't you want me to fight harder?) "Is it because you don't want to?" Simon asks, voice gentle and careful and so painfully small - Wille hates when Simon feels like he needs to make his voice smaller - that the pang goes right to Wille's heart. (Why would you ever think I don't want you?) He shakes his head fervently, like he can shake off the hurt and the confusion and the incessantly rising heat of want that crawls up the inside of his throat. "No. God, no," he tries, feels and hears his voice break on the first no. (Did I not prove to you that you're all I ever want?) Simon's eyes meet his again, finally. Glistening even in the dim light of this hallway, and Wille wishes he could read him better, wishes there weren't two years of distance lodged in between them. Simon moves his arm and just as Wille is about to gasp at the prospect of losing him again he feels Simon's grip on his upper arm instead, firm and warm even through the thin fabric of his shirt. The breath gets stuck somewhere deep inside of Wille's rib cage. He doesn't dare make a single move while Simon tugs on his arm, places it around himself, takes another step towards Simon. (Why did I ever let you go?) The look in Simon's eyes is dangerous, is gnawing away at every bit of distance, at every wall that Wille has desperately tried to build up over these past years. Simon squeezes Wille's bicep, signaling him he can touch him back and- Fuck. And Wille does. Wille's hand still perfectly fits on top of Simon's hipbone. "If you still in any way want me..." (What the fuck did I do to make you think there'd ever be an 'if'?) "if this is still," and Simon is standing so close to him now that Wille thinks he must be feeling him. Must be feeling that Wille, despite himself and all that work he put into getting over Simon, very much fucking wants him. Now, always, probably for fucking ever. "If this is something you might want..." Simon presses against him now, hips against hips, and Wille wants to moan and cry and wrap him tightly in his arms because he can feel Simon again, too, here, close. Simon leans forward, lips moving towards Wille's ear. "Let me have this, Wille. If you still want this, let me have you."

Wille's moan is barely stifled when he feels the subtle movement of Simon against him, of Simon pressing into him, onto him, of Simon searching for contact and friction and more of Wille. "Not here," Wille tries, but he's already losing the battle and grinding his erection against Simon's, that quietly flickering flame he never quite managed to put out now stoked into a raging fire. "We don't have- and we're just-" And while he stammers away, while he digs his fingertips into Simon's side and relishes in the heady feeling of having him here again, he feels Simon slip something into his palm, a small bottle, familiar enough to make Wille's mind spin. (How did you-?) "I knew you'd be here," Simon confesses, unprompted. "I knew I'd see you." His lips leave burns in their wake as they brush down the side of Wille's jaw. Wille barely has control over his own hands, just barely registers that must be pulling Simon closer. And it seems like this breaks a dam inside of Simon. "Been thinking about you," he gasps out and Wille can feel his hands under his shirt now, digging nails into Wille's skin that remembers. "Been missing you," Simon admits, much more quietly, but before Wille has any chance - But why did you-? - Simon pushes on. "Missed feeling you... missed having you like this." And god, god, Wille is a broken man. He's never had a sense for when to stop, when to turn away from Simon before things become detrimental, and he's not about to now start acting like he has any control over his feelings towards this man. This man that ruined Wille for everyone forever. So of course Wille finds himself perched behind Simon in one of the seemingly countless storage rooms in Maddie's house, of course he's got Simon holding on to a shelf in front of him, with his pants bunched up around his knees, and of course he's back to opening Simon up for him, nice and slow and grabbing one of his ass cheeks, holding him open for a better view while he does it, because simply feeling him is not enough right now. Of course Simon is back to letting out those sounds that Wille has never stood a chance against, quiet hiccup-y moans that he draws out for a moment longer whenever Wille pulls out and gently eases his fingers back in, teasing. Simon feels just like Wille remembers, he moves just like Wille remembers, he lets out that same broken sound when Wille drops to his knees and asks if he can, please, if Simon is okay with it. He arches his back and pushes back against Wille's mouth, moans at every flick of his tongue, just like he's always done. The filthy string of profanities and desperate pleas falling from his mouth is just as enticing and encouraging as it's always been. The way Wille needs to hold Simon's hips in place, thumbs on his ass cheeks to help hold him open, the way Simon tastes, the way he grinds back and lets Wille fuck his tongue into him... It all hasn't changed one bit. Wille feels delirious, feels like he's stuck in one of those dreams that kept haunting him for weeks, months, after. He feels like he could risk waking up to his empty bed again if he pulls away to catch his breath. It still feels like a dream when he lines himself up with Simon's back, when he presses closer, not pushing in, just feeling the heat of Simon's body through his shirt, just relishing in the slick, hot tightness of being between Simon's thighs. It's so much, so fucking much that Wille needs a moment, that he needs to prepare for what he's sure will ruin him, that he needs to wait before entering him again.

"Are you okay?" Simon asks, breathing heavily and grinding back desperately, and it's almost like it used to be, almost as sweet and caring and devastatingly gentle as they used to be. Almost, because there's an edge of fear, of worry, of uncertainty. Wille nods, pressing his forehead against the soft wispy hairs at the back of Simon's neck. He's so okay. He's so much more than okay, feels so much better than he has months and that alone is absolutely fucking breaking him apart. "So okay," Wille gasps out, pulling back slightly to line himself up. He ignores the slight tremor in his hands, that anticipatory shiver of pleasure that courses through him. "So fucking okay," he moans when he slowly pushes in, sinks against Simon, slips back into that old, familiar, breathtaking sensation of connection and closeness, of soft, warm bliss. And Simon does it, too, moans, throws his head back, angles himself so that Wille can slide home, can claim this feeling for the two of them, finally again. Simon's affirmative hum travels through Wille's chest like the heavy bass on the dance floor did earlier, Simon's sweetly assertive command for "more, Wille" pierces him like a knife. But he can, he absolutely wants to give Simon more. He pulls back slightly, only to thrust into him again, giving more and deeper and harder, making Simon's breathing stutter, making the shelf that's bearing more of less all the force groan under the impact. Every bit of desperation, every yearning thought Wille has tried to neatly file away breaks lose in him, every single time he dreamt of this imagined just one more chance at this hits him at once. By the time he pulls back, words of warning on his lips, mumbled apologies for being so gone so quickly, for not making this last any longer falling into the sweat-heavy air around them, his eyes are burning, his throat closing up. It can't be over already, not again, not now, not ever. Simon's arm shoots behind him, grabbing onto Wille's ass, pulling him closer again, urging him back inside to the hilt. Wille's hips stutter and he gasps out another pleading warning, sure that he's going to fall any minute now, but Simon only digs his blunt fingernails into Wille's skin. "Stay," Simon presses out, so quietly that Wille barely hears it. But it's enough to make Wille press his eyes shut, go rigid against Simon's back. "Inside me, please," he adds, words so drawn out and voice so breathy that Wille can't help but moan in response. Simon needs him, is all Wille can think of when Simon grinds back against him, Simon needs to feel him again, he thinks, as he listens to Simon's staccato breaths and the sound of his slickened hand jerking himself off. It's all the way it used to be, it's like he was never gone, it's like they picked up where they left off, like it's them, together, against all odds again. It takes no more than a couple thrusts before Wille is coming, gasping into the sweaty hair in the back of Simon's neck, pressing closer, wrapping his arms tightly around Simon's chest and stomach, like that will keep him from ever leaving again. Wille is still panting, still shaking, when he feels Simon's come hit his arm, feels Simon go pliant in his arms. He doesn't ask why now, why after all this time, when Simon, hands still holding Wille against him, like he, too, is scared Wille will leave, pants out a quiet "thank you". Wille doesn't ask what this means, either. Doesn't ask what Simon now thinks of him, what Simon now wants to do. He doesn't, can't, get out a single question while he holds onto Simon and Simon holds onto him.

OOOF. I......... I guess that was the vibe when I sat down to write this today. Thank you so so much for sending in that prompt, dear anon! I hope you enjoyed it! 💜💜💜

Send me "Wilmon" + a sentence and I will write you 2k apparently another 5(+) sentences

[royalwilmon]

this is a prequel of sorts to always on the tip of my tongue! a glimpse into wille and simon's very first taco tuesday. eventually (like, after all of tomt is published, so basically never) this will be one part in a series of mikael pov insights into wilmon's relationship, but i wanted to share this for now! enjoy!! <333

if he likes you, he'll smile

Mikael had been working at Geronimo’s for nearly two months the day that he met Wille and Simon. 

He didn’t even think he’d be in the job that long. He had just been laid off from another corporate bullshit position and had been enjoying a proper midlife crisis when another eviction notice forced him to resort to bartending again. Geronimo’s FGT was decidedly not his kind of place. He hated how touristy the area was, hated the shitty bands the owners constantly had in for live entertainment, and more than anything, hated how monotonous the job started feeling just after a couple of weeks. 

He wanted to quit. He was seriously considering giving his notice. He nearly did several times, but for whatever reason, he kept hesitating. It was good that he had a job for now, but he was already restless. Something was missing. Mikael didn’t know what he would do or where to go next, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was invisible here. Mikael couldn’t even remember the last time he had an honest-to-God conversation with someone. In this town, the idea of him disappearing forever without a soul noticing he was gone was more reality than fear. 

And then, one day, on a Tuesday in autumn just like any other Tuesday, Crown Prince Wilhelm sat at the bar right before him. 

Mikael didn’t give a shit about the royal family. He was surprised he even recognized him. He probably only did because Wilhelm was around the same age as Sanna, his daughter. Mikael remembered the headlines when Erik passed away. It was right after Mikael got into that last big argument with Nea before she packed everything they owned, left, and took Sanna with her. He remembered watching the videos of Erik’s funeral on the news, seeing pictures and closeups of Wilhelm, and just thinking about how young he looked. 

He still looked young now. His hair was shorter, his face more angular, and he didn’t look sad like he always did when he was on the news. Quite the opposite, really. He had another person with him tonight, a shorter boy who looked even younger, whose smile seemed so bright and genuine that Mikael almost felt blinded by it. As the two boys slid into their respective barstools, bright laughter filled the room, and Mikael thought that today would be different. He didn’t know how, and he didn’t know if the change he felt was necessarily a good one, but it was different. 

He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to address the prince in any sort of particular way. For a moment, he thought maybe the prince was trying to be discreet, and he shouldn’t address him at all, but the pair of security staff who followed the duo inside and positioned themselves nearby made it clear that Crown Prince Wilhelm was here. Plus, people around the restaurant noticed him and started staring. All eyes Mikael could see were on Wilhelm. 

If the attention bothered Wilhelm and the boy sitting beside him, they didn’t let it show. Mikael couldn’t imagine that it didn’t. He felt awful for the kids. As the stares turned into whispers turned into audible speculation, Mikael felt the urge to yell at everyone to shut the fuck up and leave them alone. But if he was going to quit this job, he at least wanted to do so on good terms so he could still have references. He did not need to have to explain the fact that he was fired because he lost his temper in front of a prince to his next employers. 

Realizing that he was staring, too, and was maybe now part of the problem, Mikael cleared his throat, leaning forward on the bar and raising his voice so Wilhelm and his friend could hear him. 

“Can I get you boys something to drink?” Mikael asked, trying his best to sound casual and uninterested.

“What do you have with tequila?” Wilhelm asked. His voice was teasing, his smile playful. Mikael was caught off-guard. He hadn’t spent any amount of time thinking about what the Crown Prince might be like, but this young, smiling boy was nothing like what he might have expected. 

Mikael didn’t say anything, just narrowed his eyes a little. He picked up a drink menu and placed it down in front of Wilhelm, dragging his finger around the portion of the menu that listed their cocktails and detailed which tequilas they had on the shelf. 

Mikael watched Wilhelm’s smile twist into an amused smirk before he looked down at where Mikael was pointing. 

“Mmm, I’ll take a ginger beer, please,” Wilhelm’s friend said, reading the drink menu over Wilhelm’s shoulder. Mikael nodded and reached under the bar, opening the cooler and pulling out a glass bottle. He placed it in front of the boy, who smiled at him brightly and thanked him. Exceedingly polite. 

Mikael took a moment to size up the prince’s companion. He certainly didn’t seem royal or even royal adjacent. He looked astoundingly normal. While Wilhelm was outfitted stylishly and professionally in a collared shirt and smart sweater, the other boy came simply dressed in jeans and an old hoodie with the drawstring missing. The two boys looked like they came from two different worlds, but at the same time, there was a sort of familiarity and ease between them that felt… right. 

“How spicy is the spicy margarita?” Wilhelm asked, looking up at Mikael with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes that Mikael didn’t quite know what to do with. 

“No. No, Wille,” the boy cut in before Mikael could even open his mouth to answer. “You can’t keep pretending you like spicy things. You’ll take two sips, spend the rest of dinner complaining about it, and end up wasting the entire drink.”

“You don’t know that,” Wilhelm grumbled, pouting dramatically as he looked back down at the menu. 

Mikael had to bite back a chuckle. It was amusing how comfortable the boys seemed with each other. The boy called the prince Wille and teased him knowingly. It was strange, seeing someone so famous casually sat in front of him, so strikingly human. Mikael felt drawn to the prince and his friend, almost like he was a part of their world. Or, maybe stranger, that they were a part of his. 

“I’ll order the House Margarita if you can tell me what’s in Geronimo’s Secret Margarita Mix,” Wilhelm said, looking at Mikael with that same playful smile that continued to catch him off guard. 

“It’s written in the employee handbook that if we tell someone, we have to kill them,” Mikael said, without thinking. He had a moment of doubt when he thought that maybe threatening violence against a prince might not be the smartest move, but at Wilhelm’s widening smile, he continued. “It also explicitly states that we do not grant exceptions regardless of rank. The only way one can learn the secret of the Margarita Mix is if they have concerns about allergens.” 

Wilhelm’s friend laughed at that, beaming at Mikael with a thousand-watt smile. 

“Oh, I like you already,” he said. The boy looked at Mikael closer now, considering him in the same careful way Mikael had just done with him. After so much thought about how working in this part of Stockholm made him seem invisible, in this moment, he felt almost unnervingly seen. “I’m Simon. Best friend of Wille. Official title. What’s your name?”

Still apprehensive, Mikael just pointed to his chest, where a nametag was pinned to his apron. 

“Mikael,” Wilhelm read, grinning wide.

“Good, he can read,” Mikael muttered to himself before he had a second to think better of it. 

His gaze flickered over to Simon, who looked like a kid at a candy store. Clearly, he was delighted that Mikael was instantly willing to poke fun at Wilhelm. Mikael didn’t know why he was chasing the approval of this… kid. Especially at the expense of the actual Crown Prince of their country. It was something to do with Simon’s smile, Mikael thought. It felt familiar. It reminded him of Sanna. 

Mikael knew his face fell at that realization. He also knew that Simon had caught it, and Mikael watched as his smile faltered, but only for a fraction of a second. 

“Literacy is one of his better qualities,” Simon said to Mikael, glancing over at Wilhelm with a fond roll of his eyes. 

“It’s ‘Gang Up on Wille’ day, huh?” Wilhelm muttered, looking up briefly to glare at Simon. Simon just laughed lightly, looking down at the food menu the hostess had given them when they first sat down. 

Someone in Mikael’s position would have to be blind not to notice the rush of pink on Simon’s cheeks. Mikael remembered what it was like to be that age, no older than nineteen or twenty if Mikael had to guess. He recognized Simon’s exact blush from his early memories of Nea. 

Mikael wasn’t ready to make any assumptions, but he was briefly curious. He thought he would have heard something if the prince was gay. Or bisexual or whatever, Mikael didn’t know. Then again, maybe they were trying to be discreet. But, Mikael thought, there were definitely places more discreet than a busy restaurant in the middle of Gamla stan, just minutes away from the royal palace. 

So, they were probably best friends. Still, Mikael noticed the way Simon looked at Wilhelm, like he had just hung the moon. It wasn’t nothing. 

None of his business, though. 

“I’ll have the House Margarita. Salted rim, please. For now, you can keep your secrets,” Wilhelm said, smiling at Mikael again. “But next time, I’ll find a way to get you to tell me while also sparing my precious life.”  

“Precious,” Mikael scoffed, causing Simon to let out another breath of laughter. 

Mikael opened his mouth to ask to see Wilhelm’s ID before he stopped short. Do members of the royal family even carry identification? Mikael knew Wilhelm was over eighteen, but he was still legally required to ask. Unless there was an exception for princes? He didn’t think there would be, but he also had no reason to know. Would Wilhelm get mad at him for asking? He couldn’t help but glance over to the security guards, who, admittedly, looked terrifying. 

Mikael thought back to how he wanted to quit this job before they fired him. He did not want to have to tell the story of how he was fired for not carding the Crown Prince. 

“Can I see your ID?” Mikael asked, keeping his expression as neutral as possible. 

Wilhelm looked surprised for a moment, but he instantly reached into his pocket to remove his wallet and his ID, which, apparently, he did carry with him. That was good to know. 

“I’ve never seen you get carded before,” Simon said to Wilhelm, beaming ear to ear. “This is the best day of my life. I hope the food is good, Wille. This might finally be our place. It feels right.” 

Mikael glanced down at Wilhelm’s ID (which was weird, so extremely weird. Wilhelm had so many names and probably the nicest picture Mikael had ever seen on an ID) before handing it back to him wordlessly. 

Mikael set to work making Wilhelm’s drink, thinking that their interaction was over for now, but Simon spoke up again, surprising him.

“So, Mikael,” Simon said, his voice curious and friendly. “Have you always lived in Stockholm?” 

The answer to the question was no, but Mikael was a very private guy. He didn’t want strangers asking him personal questions. It was none of their business. Especially not the prince’s. 

Mikael finished pouring the last of the ingredients into his cocktail shaker before answering Simon’s question with a frown and a shrug. It wasn’t a yes or a no—it was just an acknowledgment. Simon seemed to take the hint, and he just smiled at him with a nod. Understanding, gracious, unnervingly kind. 

Simon and Wilhelm were quiet while Mikael finished making the drink. They looked around, admiring the space. For all of its faults, Geronimo’s FGT was fun. Decked out in colorful textiles, weird bird taxidermy, and neon cacti, the place felt like a fever dream interpretation of the American Southwest. Mikael did love it, and so, as it would seem, did Simon and Wilhelm, who each wore small, pleased smiles on their faces as they took in the atmosphere of Geronimo’s. 

Giving the margarita a few good shakes, Mikael poured it into a mason jar with a salted rim and slid the drink over to Wilhelm, who thanked him profusely and wasted no time downing half the drink with one prolonged sip.  

“Nectar of the gods…” Wilhelm mused, putting the jar down with a satisfied sigh. Mikael still didn’t know quite what to make of Wilhelm, but he thought that he liked him. Or, at least, he was pleased that the prince seemed to approve of his bartending skills. 

“Anything to eat?” Mikael asked, using both his hands to point at the pair of menus in front of Wilhelm and Simon. 

“It’s Tuesday, so definitely tacos,” Wilhelm said, with so much enthusiasm. 

“Which tacos would you recommend?” Simon asked, looking up from his menu to Mikael. 

“They’re all fucking great,” Mikael said, truthfully. Since starting here, Mikael had tried and enjoyed pretty much the entire menu. “Birria are good. Fish, too.” 

Mikael watched Simon and Wilhelm exchange a look, wordlessly communicating before Simon nodded and grinned, turning back to Mikael. 

“Perfect, we’ll try those,” Simon said, before glancing back at Wilhelm. “And we’ll split them so we can both try both.” 

“And queso, too. Please. As much as you’re willing to give us,” Wilhelm added, before doing something weird with his eyes. Mikael thought Wilhelm might have been trying to wink, but he wasn’t sure. He might just have something really wrong with his vision. 

Mikael left to put in their food orders, and then, a little reluctantly, went back to work. As much as his curiosity made him want to linger by Wilhelm and Simon, there were other patrons sitting at his bar, and more drink orders coming in for him to work on. Even if he had literal royalty at his bar, Mikael couldn’t afford to give them all of his attention. He was cutting his rent a little too close as is. 

While Mikael was able to busy himself with the Taco Tuesday crowd, he did occasionally try to listen in to Simon and Wilhelm’s conversation, just to get a better idea as to what their deal was. He wanted to know why they were here, of all places.

It sounded like they were catching up on the past week or so of their lives. Simon must have been a student, probably here in Stockholm, as he spent most of his meal talking animatedly to Wilhelm about various classes and professors. Wilhelm was listening intently, nodding along and peppering in questions and comments throughout. 

Mikael realized that their appearance at Geronimo’s was really quite simple. Wilhelm and Simon were two friends, meeting for dinner to catch up on each other’s lives. There was nothing fancy, no royal banquets or expensive wines or anything. Just two friends sat at a bar, eating tacos and talking about their day. 

It was… endearing. 

When it was getting late, and their plates were all but licked clean, Mikael approached Wilhelm and Simon again, leaning against the bar opposite them. He offered them a sort of smile, a slight purse of his lips that was just about as friendly as his face could get. 

“Good?”

“Fucking great,” Wilhelm grinned, repeating Mikael’s praise from earlier. 

Giving the boys a satisfied nod, Mikael placed the bill between Simon and Wilhelm. Simon let out a loud bark of laughter before pushing the bill directly to Wilhelm. 

“Why do I always get stuck paying?” Wilhelm said, teasingly. Still, he didn’t hesitate to immediately take out his wallet and hand Mikael a card, smiling politely all the while. 

“Wilhelm, do not get me started today. You are already on such thin ice,” Simon said, his voice surprisingly serious. Simon must have had plenty of thoughts on the excessive amount of cash Wilhelm surely had at his disposal. It was surprising—in a good way, Mikael thought. Wilhelm seemed to have a friend with a good head on his shoulders. Polite, engaging, and willing to challenge him. 

Mikael really, really liked this Simon kid. 

He also really, really missed Sanna.

Mikael ran Wilhelm’s card and returned it to him. Wilhelm pocketed his wallet, thanked Mikael again, and then started to get up. 

“You’ll be working next week, right Mikael?” Simon asked as he stood. Mikael was surprised at the question and didn’t answer right away. He just stared at Simon for a prolonged moment, raising an eyebrow. “Next Taco Tuesday. We’ll see you here again. Next week?” 

Mikael shrugged and smiled a little. He supposed he would stick around until next week, at least, if that meant seeing Wilhelm and Simon again. He was still curious about them. He wanted to listen to them more and try to understand them better. 

“Next week, then,” Wilhelm smiled. He crinkled his eyes in that weird and awkward way again—probably a wink. Then, with a final wave, they left Geronimo’s, security detail in tow. 

Suddenly, Mikael’s monotonous job felt like the most interesting place in the entire country. Maybe Mikael would quit next week. 

But for now, he’d stay. Make a couple of margaritas. Eat a few more tacos. Have a fucking good time. 

[gulliblelemon]

do you have any ideas about alternate universes for the wilmon in Where We Left Off, if they'd confessed their love for each other earlier? or do you think the story you shared with us is the only way it could've gone for them? 💓

What a good question! I don’t know. Part of me wants to say “there could be infinite versions of them! Where anything could have happened!” And another part that wants to say “that’s the only way it ever could have gone. That’s their story!”

The answer is probably somewhere in between. But I think the version I went with couldn’t confess their love much earlier. Wille wasn’t ready.

But I suppose it depends when the timeline split. Because I posted a snippet earlier from when I was playing with the plot: if after their first meeting, they’d met up regularly and casually and Wille remained Crown Prince and they just had a… different dynamic.

Once I’d decided that they would meet less often and more intensely, I think there was only really one way it could go.

Maybe it could have gone differently right at the end, in the last chapter when Wille says he’s leaving. I think that could have been a point where if they’d had their shit together it could have gone better.

Simon didn’t even realise until chapter 6, and maybe he could have confessed then. But I think it would have ended in disaster. Because Wille wasn’t ready.

And Wille had known for ages, but I think a confession would have scared Simon off because he wasn’t there yet.

But maybe Wille confessed the second or third time they met, like the dramatic love-struck teenager he was. And maybe Simon would have been just naïve enough to think ‘what if’ and go for it. (But Simon wasn’t in a great place at that point, so wouldn’t have been a very solid foundation for a relationship).

So I’ve said a lot and not really answered your question. But it’s been really fun to think about!

Thanks for the ask! (Let me know if I’ve made absolutely no sense and you have follow up questions 😅 I love talking about this!)

[young-royals-confessions]

Hi, I have been really into young royals for a while now and so I have read quite a lot of Wilmon fanfics!

But in my previous fandom (wolfstar) there were several fic rec accounts that would compile rec lists for particular tropes (such as charecter A pining, or established relationship fluff) usually in response to an ask, and then would have a masterpost, compiling all the differnt tropes they made rec lists for in alphabetical order so you could search to see if they made a rec list for the trope you are in the mode for (examples of these accounts are wolfstarlibrarian and wolfstarhaven) and I don't think an account exists like this for Wilmon yet! Do you know of any accounts like this for Wilmon?

If not I might try and start my own, as I find they are a very useful tool in fandoms (bc often fics with very specific or charecter specific tropes won't be tagged under that trope on ao3)

If I were to do this I would probably copy wolfstarwarehouse's format for fic recs (bc I am bad at compiling lists.) Basically this format is just posting individual fics with a link and the summary and the word count and ao3 rating and tagging it with specific tropes.

There would be one for the fic length range (like under 5k, 5-10k etc), a royal/ non royal tag, a non canon/canon complient tag, mabey an charecter age tag (teen/ adult), (a tag for ao3 rating???) and mabey a tag with the charecters POV it's written from (not sure if this one would be helpful or not)

But most importantly there would be tags for different tropes, such as Simon: jealous, or Wille: oblivious, or Simon: famous

And a tag for their relationship status at the start of the story, so like relationship: friends, relationship: established, relationship: ex's, relationship: roomates, relationship: enemies

And a tag for mood so: fluff, crack, (light) angst, angst with a happy ending, fluff and smut, hurt/ comfort

The orignal creator of this also has theme tags (eg: theme:drinking, theme: grief, theme: clasism) and I would try to do this but idk if it's easy or not

I'm not sure how many tags would be useful to have as idk how many you can filter with at one time.

(I used to always just search up the length and 1 specific charecter trope I wanted to read and scan the other tags when scrolling.) But I think I am getting slightly ahead of myself bc I would first need to ask the fic compliler from my old fandom if i could copy there concept (which they could very understandably not want) and I dont even know if there is a market for this yet 😅 (that's what this ask if for)

Ideally i could also receive asks with fic recs and people would say the key tropes, mood and relationship status, so there are more fics for ppl to sort through, but I could also do it with just fics I've read

Anyways I'll problaby just use this to see if anyone is intrested

PS: sorry for the massive overuse of bracets in this ask (I know I have a problem, I just can't stop myself), and the length (can you tell my ADHD meds have worn off?)

Check out @impossibleknots fic spreadsheet and rec lists. Not sure if it's exactly what you're imagining, but definitely a great resource!

[bigalockwood]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks @sunshine-rudberg for tagging me <3333

How many works do you have on Ao3?

7!

What's your total Ao3 word count?

175,665

What fandoms do you write for?

Young Royals. I used to write for other fandoms ages ago, but have no interest to write for any others right now.

Top five fics by kudos

(The results to this are kinda skewed, because I started posting my stories for users only after Royally Whipped, which drastically influences nr. of hits and kudos).

Royally Whipped

we'll make a home on the cracks (glowing review)

Simon Eriksson hates breeches

All Is Fair In Love and Secret Santa

arm-biting (vindictively)

Do you respond to comments?

I try my hardest, but when I was writing Royally Whipped I was insanely busy and got super behind on replying. So now I have a mountain of comments waiting for me to reply to . I'm trying my best to go through them and keep up with the comments coming in because of should've said no.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

No angsty endings for me. I guess in terms of what was angsty until close to the end, it would have to be glowing review.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Royally Whipped, I'd say. Season 3 completely derailed my plans for that one, so it's much less angsty than originially planned.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet. But I guess there's always first time for everything, right?

Do you write smut?

So far, no. Just weirdly suggestive scenes.

Craziest crossover:

Never written one.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Hope it doesn't ever happen, either.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! (As far as I know, at least.)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

In an old fandom, yes. It was fun but also super messy and definitely far from my best work.

All time favourite ship?

Wilmon! No one does it like them.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There's a bunch of stuff in my drafts, but most of those are just rouch ideas or random scenes. So no WIP. I'm usually very good at finishing them (though there is an abandoned twilight fanfiction on another website, but I'm not touching that one with a ten-foot pole).

What are your writing strengths?

Questions like that always throw me off, because I genuinely don't know. But I think I'm pretty good at coming up with metaphors for my characters feelings that are hopefully not too cringy to read.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I ramble. A lot. Other writers could probably tell my stories in three chapters and be done. I'm unable to do that. Also too many details in general. Pretty sure I overuse and repeat certain words all the time. Generally just don't know how to make anything concise.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't mind it when reading fanfic (actually barely notice), but personally choose not to use it. If the story is set in Sweden, then imo they're already speaking Swedish with each other, so no need to have them say Swedish words.

First fandom you wrote in?

Twilight lmao

Favourite fic you've written?

You're asking me to decide between my children??? Okay, I'll give it a shot. I think Royally Whipped will always have a special place in my heart because I wrote it in such a chaotic phase of my life. But I also really, really love Simon Eriksson hates breeches (I think it's very funny ngl) and had the best time writing glowing review.

No pressure tags @hergrandplan, @wilmonsfolklore, @gulliblelemon, @nerdyfangirl76, @iwouldnevergetintofanfic & anyone else who wants to do this (I could tag so many amazing people, but I have no idea who's already been tagged, other than those along side me)!

[bluedalahorse]

AU part 2: in the YR early 00s megafandom, where are you reading your non-Wilmon fics?

You’ve probably seen my post by now about YR as an early 2000s livejournal megafandom, with speculations about what the different fanfic archives would be and how we’d all interact. You may have also voted in my poll about which Wilmon archive you’d frequent (but if you haven’t there’s still time.)

One poll remains, and that focuses on which non-Wilmon archive you’d be spending time at. If you are of my internet generation, you can answer this poll based on the ways you were doing fandom at the time. Confess your dark secrets! Or you can just go with vibes. This does not have to line up with your IRL YR fandom identity.

Feel free to reblog and add to your alternate universe fandom story! Tell us more about your crossovers, your sparkly graphics, your Y2K character playlists that you have burned onto a CD and cried over. (Don’t forget the time you ended up on fandom_wank!)

[novkovsky]

this show literally ruined my life, cursed my entire family, and left me in tears, but I don't regret any of it

final thoughts, opinions, and spoilers under the cut

okay so I no longer hate august. in fact I sympathize with him and I feel like I understand him more through his growth and development. yeah he did so some really shitty and fucked up things that I once thought were unforgivable, but I found his arc to be the most compelling. in the end he got what he wanted but lost what he loved. a perfect contrast to willes arc in season three. honestly I don't really think august is fit to be king and filling that role is going to fill him with immense regret and probably traumatize him further, and its such a bittersweet ending for him. like he's a shithead but he's MY shithead.

I don't think wille abdicating the throne is immediately going to fix all his problems. that boy still needs so much therapy and time to heal. hell they all do. but I watched them in that moment, probably the happiest he's been in months and I felt that relief, the peace they gained from it. and maybe the aftermath will be hell, but I feel it was worth it.

and simon- omg simon. that boy is so full of love and compassion in a way that I haven't quite seen before in television nor in real life, and i deeply admire him for it. He really said

"to love someone is firstly to confess: I'm prepared to be devastated by you," UGHHHHH

but he took that chance anyways, and either he's really stupid and naive or capable of showing bravery that not many people can. also, omar rudberg is a phenomenal actor, and he captured simon so well. Like I genuinely believe no one else could have played simon but him. like that boy is going to go on to do great things, and I'm totally here for whatever he chooses to do.

omg I was actually so convinced wilmon wasn't endgame. like they really had me in the first half of 3.06 and honestly I would have been upset but I was also okay with it. I felt like they had made peace and were content with saying goodbye BUT NO THEY TRICKED ME. WILLE ADBICATION LETS GOO!!! but no I really thought he was going to abdicate (because regardless of being with simon I felt like he still would have done so) and maybe we would see a flashforward of them meeting again years later when they've both healed from all that trauma.

speaking of trauma, I can't imagine going through any of that at the age of 16-17. like therapy for the next ten years NOW- like this show is so nuanced, and you really see these characters and their flaws and their dumb and impulsive decisions, but that's because they're still kids. like you really see their fuck ups and bad decisions but you also see their justifications and why they're making these decisions and if they're wrong you understand both sides and their frustrations. like it's not black and white I feel like this is something american media can't seem to get right.

one thing watching this show has taught me is that life doesn't end when you're 17. even though then and there it feels like everything, and It feels like it's all that matters, but you grow up and people move on and are capable of change.

anyways my heart has been put through the wringer, and I'm emotionally devastated in the best way possible.

(quote earlier from Billy-Ray Belcourt, A History of My Brief Body)

started watching young royals 🤭

[brownbitchshit]

Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if s3 were the last season. Would I love a s4? Sure. But a 10 episodes long s3 is what actually I want. Mostly because of selfish reasons because by the time (should it renews) s4 will come out, I'll probably be 30. And I dont know how much my life will allow me to be obsessed with my not-so-little Swedish show! So I wanna see the end while I am in love with this show.

Also it'll be good for the story line as well. Trilogies are always classy. Ideally I would have loved to see 3 years of Hillerska or maybe an aged up version of Wilmon and them getting married and what not. But should we get S3 as final, we might at best will see them graduating Hillerska and maybe Wilhelm giving another speech. Which would be pretty good. Maybe an abdication in the horizon? Who knows. But hopefully it'll be a good ending even if it's not a royal wedding.

It's also good for the cast because we probably haven’t realized how good this series has done for both Edvin and Omar's career. Edvin said in an interview that he did some auditions in UK and I really hope he breaks out in the mainstream Hollywood scene. He will rock it and he's so deserving. And Omar's music career has definitely taken a flight internationally. His songs are being streamed in spotify like crazy. He will soon become a big thing in European music scene. And ofc his acting career is looking good as well. So they both might not want to be tied up to this series for so long.

So overall, it is actually better to end it while they have time rather than getting one extra season only to get cancelled later and having no closure. I am happy should this rumour came true. But ofc not opposed to s4/5/6 either if it ever were to happen.

[omarscurls]

Simon X Vaccines

Inspired by Omar’s old tweet about being able to take the COVID vaccine without his mom, featuring my old fear of shots, and lots of Wilmon fluff :))

A bit Simon-centred, at least in the beginning

TWs: Shots, sort of hospital environment? Anxiety, probably swearing

A/Ns looks like this

Enjoy!

• Simon is not scared.

• Sure his hand is shaking a little, so his hides it underneath the table. But he’s not scared.

• The school nurse stops talking and starts handing out papers that your guardians need to sign, if you’re getting the vaccine.

• The lesson goes on and everyone seems to have forgotten about the papers. Totally Simon too. Maybe not really.

• It takes Wilhelm gently touching his arm and asking a question about whatever they were working on for him to calm down.

• The week of the vaccines are ages away anyways, it’s fine.

• The thing is, Simon does not like getting shots. He has hated it ever since he was little.

• Which is why Linda sends him a concerned look when he asks her to sign the paper.

• He tells her that he’ll be fine. It’s stupid to still be scared of shots.

• His mom decides to drop it and hands him back the paper.

•He hates the feeling in his stomach when he puts the paper in his backpack.

What am I writing again?

• A couple of weeks later, and Simon had just woken up before school.

• Oh yeah and he’s a bit late, but if he skips breakfast and just runs to the bus there’s a chance he might still be on time.

Don’t mind where Sara is, she’s sick or smth. It’s not relevant and complicates things haha

• So when Simon arrives to the first lesson a bit out of breath he doesn’t realise what week and day it is.

• It feels like someone poured a bucket of cold water over him when the teacher starts reading the list of people that can start going to the school nurse, and she says his name.

• The people that were called starts moving, and that’s when Simon notices that Wilhelm is going with him. The Prince seems unbothered about all this, and talks about how it’s nice to miss some of the lesson.

• Simon just nods along, but he can feel the knot in his stomach coming back, and he tries to not start to cry.

• Wille seems to notice that something is up, so when Simon really does get tears in his eyes, he pulls him in behind a corner and lets the rest of the group walk ahead.

• He gently pulls Simon in for a hug, while asking what’s wrong. Simon mumbles a “nothing, I’m fine” at first and hides his face further in Wilhelm’s neck.

• A minute or so later, Simon continues “... it’s just... like...I don’t like shots. I thought I would be ok, but I don’t know, I had forgotten about it, and then I was just like not ready when we had to leave”.

• Wille smiles a little despite it all, his beautiful brave boyfriend, who is never scared of anything and always the one comforting people in situations like this, is scared of shots.

• Simon also looks very adorable in his big hoodie and still gently holding on to his boyfriend.

• Eventually he has calmed down enough that they decide to continue to the nurse’s room.

• Wilhelm holds his hand all the way through the corridor, and he doesn’t seem to care about the fact that some people are staring at them and whispering.

• There’s only one person left of their group when they arrive at the waiting area.

• They thankfully don’t pay much attention to Simon and Wilhelm and pretty soon the nurse opens the door, another student walks out and the last student walks in, so now they’re alone.

• Wilhelm puts an arm gently around Simon, and tells him again that it’ll be okay.

• The nurse comes out to get the next person a couple of minutes later. But when she asks them who wants to go first, Wilhelm asks if they can go together instead.

• She seems to consider it for a second, but notices that Simon has been crying and that he’s still subtly clinging a little to Wilhelm.

• They are both allowed inside, and Simon tenses just seeing the chair standing in the middle of the room.

• He absolutely hates the way these rooms look. All the sterile equipment laying around and the white yellowish walls.

• Simon pointedly does not look at all the ready shots laying in a plastic box on a table.

• The nurse asks for their names, even though you could see her clearly recognising the crown Prince.

• Then she asks who wants to go first, and you can see the fear in Simon’s eyes. But before he even manages to get eye contact with Wille, had his boyfriend already said “I’ll go first” and squeezed Simon’s hand gently.

It’s too late to give the nurse a name now, I just have to work with it

• If Wilhelm is nervous, Simon really can’t see it (and it is kind of his thing to notice what the boy was really feeling underneath all of the princely stuff)

• Wilhelm doesn’t say anything when Simon squeezes his hand even harder as he gets the vaccine.

• The nurse turns around to prepare for Simon, so Wilhelm gives Simon a quick hug as they switch places on the chair.

• He wants to pull away when he sees that the nurse is ready. But Simon just holds on to Wilhelm’s hand even harder and looks quickly into his boyfriends eyes. The comfort Wille’s eyes bring him makes him relax a little bit.

• Enough so that when the nurse asks if he’s ready, he nods and focuses of the feeling of Wilhelm’s hand in his.

• It’s over in a few seconds and Simon is surprised over how little it actually hurt, even though his arm is starting to feel a bit sore.

• She makes them sit in the waiting area for a few minutes just to make sure they are okay and not getting any weird reactions to the vaccine.

• Wilhelm is kissing Simon’s face all over and telling him just how brave he was.

Reference to when Simon calls Wille brave in episode 6

• Simon seems very relieved and just giggles when Wilhelm kisses his cheek and pulls him closer to him.

• Eventually they go back to class.

• And it all made Simon’s fear of shots way way better, but even years later he still brings Wilhelm along almost every time he needs to get a shot.

Ok so I thank you for reading! I feel like this was a mess to write haha

And just so you know I based this of my experience with how we do this in Sweden, so please ask if it doesn’t make sense to you. The vaccine in the story isn’t or doesn’t have to be the COVID vaccine, idk I choose not to label it.

[gulliblelemon]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @bigalockwood!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

22

What's your total Ao3 word count?

266,115

What fandoms do you write for?

Exclusively Young Royals. 

Top five fics by kudos

See You (Soon)

Where We Left Off

Please Try Again Later

Happy 18th, Crown Prince Wilhelm

The Umbrella

(I have a whole kudos spreadsheet and watching the trends is fascinating 😉)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Well, I try to. It sometimes gets a little bit overwhelming, especially at the beginning when there's an influx. But they're all so wonderful.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I haven't written anything with an angsty ending. I don't think I have it in me 😅

(Unless you count one shots in a series, in which case it's What Am I Going To Do? But that's part of a whole universe that does have a happy ending, so I'm not counting it - although when I posted there was no promise of a continuation of the story, so it was angsty for a while).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All my fics have happy endings. But I think they all feel like it's a happy ending to that particular part of their story, and will go on to be more after.

Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't as of yet. I still can't really believe that's a thing that happens.

Do you write smut?

No. And the longer I go on, the more I wonder if I should. But then again, I wrote a whole fic that was basically about hooking up without it, so maybe I'll be fine never writing it.

Craziest crossover

I've never written a crossover.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I had The Umbrella translated into Russian and uploaded to ficbook.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

All time favourite ship?

Wilmon.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a folder full of WIP documents, most of which are just a line or a few sentences scribbled down. Some scenes, some ideas. I doubt they'll all get written, but lots get pulled for other things. And Wille's Month made me dust some of them off and either expand on them or just publish as they were.

But as for actual WIPs that I'm actively working on, I haven't got one that I don't think I'll finish. Once I start, I kind of get to the end by whatever means necessary 😅 Even if it takes me ages.

What are your writing strengths?

Erm... horrible question 😅. Dialogue? Maybe? I don't know. Someone else would have to answer that for me. I think I have a very skewed view of my own writing based on what I do and don't like doing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Also horrible question, for very different reasons. Repetition probably. When I have something I just need to get down, I stop paying as much attention to how I'm saying things (what words I'm using, how I'm structuring sentences etc). But luckily @iwouldnevergetintofanfic is pretty good at catching it.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

It depends. I am not fluent, or even passable really, in any languages other than English. I'm not averse to dropping the odd word in, but in general I write the English translation (since they're speaking in Swedish anyway). I also discovered that the grammar rules are different, so ended up changing a load of stuff back to English in one fic because I wasn't sure which grammar rules to use.

First fandom you wrote in?

Young Royals.

Favourite fic you've written?

I don't know. I like certain ones for different reasons.

Where We Left Off was a massive undertaking. It's over twice as long as the next longest thing I've written (still not long by 'long fic' standards) and I was writing it for nearly a year. (And I'm not sure I'll ever write something that long again, that's not really how my brain works).

See You (Soon) was the first one where I felt like I knew what I was doing, and I think I will always be very fond of it.

I loved the process of writing Making Music, because it was a gift for a dear friend @purplehoodiesandclementines.

But I love them all in different ways 💜

No pressure tags for @unfortunate17, @enjoythesilentworld and @peakotp (and anyone else seeing this that wants to answer - I love reading these. I'll even retroactively tag you if you want!).

[bluedalahorse]

The Saraugust tag on AO3 and other thoughts

I track saraugust on AO3. I know I talk about what their fanfic landscape looks like a lot, so I wanted to mention the actual numbers. There are about 90 fics tagged Sara Eriksson/August Horn of Årnäs on AO3, in a fandom that’s currently sitting at about 5000 works. Of those 90 fics:

The vast majority of them are fics focused on another pairing, with summaries that hint of Sara/August comes up it’s because it’s mentioned, and not a developed subplot.

Of the ones focused on another pairing, handful of these focus on another pairing including either Sara or August (e.g. Sara/Felice or August/Vincent) and include Sara/August because it’s part of the backstory. Fair enough!

Some of the fics that do include Sara/August include it just to sink it or make it tragic. (Admittedly this includes two of my own fics; I have a goal of writing them with a more hopeful ending in the future but we’re not there yet until we finish grad school. And I’m a slut for tragedy so I can deal with a tragic take on their relationship. That said, I have also discovered mean-spirited fic among the stuff that purports to be tragic, which I feel less good about.)

A small number of fics include a kink that is Not My Kink enough that it’s a squick for me. While I’m a firm believer in trying almost anything, I feel the polite thing to do with squicks is to salute the author from afar but also not read the fic myself. YKINMKATO, as we used to say in the old days.

The remaining handful of Sara/August fics are fics I have already read or written.

So when I call sargust or saraugust a rarepair, I promise I’m not just being dramatic and whiny. I mean I am a bit, but ;) I know there are pairs that are rarer, that don’t actually get canon screentime. I probably can’t complain too much, because my imagination is active enough that I write fics for the characters in my head, and those would also be written to my tastes. So you know, I manage.

On a pure level of fandom sociology, relatively independent of my own feelings, this fascinates me. I had initially assumed that Sara and August would pick up some kind of organized following after season 2. They kind of fit an archetype that a portion of fandom kids go wild for (the reylo/darklina/delena/chair/dramione/zutara/hopefully you know what I mean by now archetype) but they also kind of… don’t fit that at all? I didn’t expect (or want!) anything that pervasive and juggernaut-ish, goodness no, but given the sort of “nostalgic for livejournal era fandom” quality of YR’s writing and its appeal to people of many ages, I thought Sara and August might pick up some “I shipped [whatever pairing] back in the day and this made me nostalgic for it but I also want to think a little more deeply about it than I did in the past” fans. I figure Wilhelm and Simon were picking up those kinds of fans, too—the way they are written also makes me nostalgic for a certain era of fanfiction, and part of what I like about wilmon is that chance to feel nostalgic but also to reflect on some of the power dynamics at hand. Especially after season 3, I see both ships as ones I approach with my critical lenses nearby.

Anyway. The show is making commentary on and deconstructing the notion of a bad boy crush (that has to be true, given August’s “award” at third year dinner and how much he wants to reject it) but it’s also leaning into the earnestness of Sara’s feelings. Lisa’s approach to writing that fascinated me and drew me in—it felt so much more raw and honest than leaning into a bad boy fantasy entirely without questioning it, or on the other side of things, rolling one’s eyes at the fantasy and saying “of course we’re too enlightened for this, unlike the Other Girls.” I never really had a full-on reylo/darklina/delena/chair/dramione/zutara/whatever era growing up—well, ok, I was into Devil’s Minion back before it was cool and the Vampire Chronicles was only books, maybe that counts even though it’s m/m? Maybe reading Jane Eyre counts? Idk. I am not like the other girls but I am exactly like the other girls. We are both at once.

But maybe, Sara and August are also sort of sitting in this uncanny valley, and that uncanny valley puts a lot of people off. I love that about them and I’ve built myself a house here and been very comfortable, but one day I poked my head outside the window and gone, “my goodness! We sure are in an uncanny valley. Why do I have so few neighbors?”

And I also can’t ignore the bullying anon (and not anon) comments I’ve seen out there in the internet wild, and the role they play in discouraging people from writing fic/making edits/etc. The general consensus is that YR fandom is very nice and I have seen that, but I have also seen times when it isn’t. In any fandom, there are outside forces that shape AO3 numbers.

Incidentally, bestie @coruscantrhapsody and I have discussed it a lot. She is in Star Wars fandom and is a huge Anidala shipper, and sees some similar trends in the Anidala tag. There’s more fics there of course, because Star Wars is a much much bigger fandom, but proportion-wise, she sees similar trends in that Anidala will be tagged in a lot of fics but will not actually feature. (Many of the fics are Codywan or maybe Obikin or something.) Plus there is also a fair amount of discourse (TM) around like, being an Anidala shipper means you’re somehow brainwashed by hetero trad patriarchy or something.

(Why do we always assume that shipping an m/f pairing makes you brainwashed by the heterosexual patriarchy? I’m queer, about 80% of the art I like is queer queer queer—that’s how I found YR after all—god forbid the pairing my brain fixates on in that show is m/f! I’m not going to call them straight because hey, do we really know that? We don’t.)

Anyway. I’m thinking about all this today because today marks the beginning of my graduate school work, and outside of Heart and Homeland there will be no more work on fics until mid January. I’m hoping I’ll be able to pick up my saraugust fics again, so I can at least put my money where my mouth is and write what I want to read, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that for sure, and I’m also not sure if I have more than one fic in me. And that… kind of makes me a little bit sad. So I just wanted to acknowledge that I’m feeling sad about the fics I’ll probably only get to daydream about and never write, and about other fics by other people that I would have loved to read but were probably never written for whatever reason.

So that’s where we are. I’ve made this post unrebloggable and untagged because I don’t want a Big Fandom Discussion or discourse about it. I don’t mind replies and people sharing their thoughts though, as long as:

You don’t tell me you’re sorry I don’t have more fanfic to my liking. I mostly say this because people have very kindly said sorry, and I very much do appreciate the sympathy most days. But today I don’t think I need sympathy so much as willingness to sit with me and analyze what’s going on. I’m in analysis place.

You don’t say something reductive along the lines of “Well actually August sucks!” Because yeah, yeah he does, quite a lot. I am up for discussion of his flaws in a nuanced way but the absolute flattening of him to villainspace is not something I wanna do today either. Fandom also has a time-honored tradition of meaningfully engaging with characters who suck. Writers have a time-honored tradition of meaningfully engaging with characters who suck. It’s one of the things that we do! You know, as people.

So anyway those are my thoughts. Thank you for reading this far! Would appreciate the thoughts of others who are up for it.

[bluedalahorse]

AU part 2: in the YR early 00s megafandom, where are you reading your non-Wilmon fics?

You’ve probably seen my post by now about YR as an early 2000s livejournal megafandom, with speculations about what the different fanfic archives would be and how we’d all interact. You may have also voted in my poll about which Wilmon archive you’d frequent (but if you haven’t there’s still time.)

One poll remains, and that focuses on which non-Wilmon archive you’d be spending time at. If you are of my internet generation, you can answer this poll based on the ways you were doing fandom at the time. Confess your dark secrets! Or you can just go with vibes. This does not have to line up with your IRL YR fandom identity.

Feel free to reblog and add to your alternate universe fandom story! Tell us more about your crossovers, your sparkly graphics, your Y2K character playlists that you have burned onto a CD and cried over. (Don’t forget the time you ended up on fandom_wank!)