#would people be interested in me providing updates on her crust pants

[polyamorouspunk]

Show fit from: my gf!

Ft. A shirt she added some patches and pins to, and her favorite pair of Levi’s she’s turning into crust pants! The studs on her pants came from a belt she had and she decided to do that while my head was inbetween her legs, because god forbid that woman sit still. She also got an Exploited patch (ironically I have the same one on my battle jacket) that she’s going to add to them.

[thewhimsicalfairy]

DAY 0 - a chronological documentation of this non-relationship

right from the start, i told myself, i told everyone who would listen/knew that i was just not gonna take this too seriously...

as with all online dates, they have a tendency to drop off or i have a tendency to lose interest very quickly but somehow you stuck around, yet i still refused to entertain the idea that there might be something...

2 May: we connected on CMB, you were very open about your history which i listened with an open mind and appreciated you for being open and honest about it...

we traded numbers since the chat was closing and then continued chatting from there...

22 May: met up ftf for the first time at Oasia Hotel's Marmalade Pantry, someone was in grey tee (knitted i believe) and camou pants haha the convo flowed and all but still it was just like any other first dates i've been on, always keeping my expectations in check... you surprised me with sandwich choices though, promising to bring me a jar of the infamous peanut butter from Amsterdam (from your upcoming work trip) and proceeding to hand me a box of 2 nicely wrapped sandwiches, one creamy and one non-creamy version, both with the crusts off. it showed me you were meticulous and caring...just noting your good qualities... before we parted ways you asked if we could be in touch...i said sure being the cool girl that i am...

1 June: we continued texting non-stop, rapid-fire style, playing 20 questions...asking all the right and wrong questions...we’d already escalated to sexting by then...and then you left for Amsterdam. truth be told i had this crazy urge to run to your office area to bid you farewell prior to you leaving for your trip...like give you a hug or something...but i reined in that crazy bitch. we continued texting all the way till you boarded your plane and then you asked me to send you my picture. i've received such crazy requests before and i was kinda wary but i took some anyhow (ok more like a lot) and then proceeded to ponder whether to send or not for the next 50min or so...as well as ask the Internet gods 'what does it mean when he asks for a photo' (to varying degrees of responses) you even noticed my absence when i was busy taking photos but i sent 1 in the end after i confirmed that u were not gonna be doing anything funny to it (not sure if i’m supposed to be flattered if anyone wanks off to my photo but anyway)

and then you sent me yours just like that (and it is still my favourite photo of you to date haha)...and promised to text the moment you land and all...you were very responsible with your words then...

1-7 June: you were in Amsterdam for work but it was as if i was just right beside you on this same trip cos the texting never let up despite the time difference. you would send me pictures of everything that you were doing, eating, ootds, everything and there was no stopping the conversations... and still you reeled me in...

13 June: we met up for a 2nd time, this time at Pagi Sore (100am) and depsite constant texting, it felt a little awks nonetheless to be meeting ftf after so long so everyone was still kinda on our best behaviour haha (but i'm always well behaved) and you presented me with the gifts you got for me at Amsterdam (the peanut butter as promised) and fancy chocolates that you picked up at the airport. confirmed mentally that gift giving was defo one of your top love language. and still you reeled me in...

and we texted some more, non-stop, impromptu lunches in between and i'd happily skip out of office just to hang out ditching the girls (resulting in the girls just saying how about i let them know when i would be next joining them for lunch =x)

20 June: dinner and drinks at Westin's Cook & Brew...this was kinda like the night you will provide a tell-all on your past relationships - and tell you did (a terribly colourful dating history if i may add) and the night went on... we continued on with more drinks at the outdoor bar area...normally it would've been a good idea but that night it was terribly windy and i was kinda chilly despite the alcohol warming me up so i was glad to have my jacket with me (the same one i wore to our first date you noted). and then it started to rain and we had to move back indoors but we didn't attempt to leave even though i was already feeling buzzed... not before long the bar had to close so i had to down my wine in a quick shot and we left...and took a roundabout walk to around the area on a bench and talked some more we both agreed the night would have carried on if not for the fact that tomorrow was still a working day... the question of what we were looking for came up (i asked this question first) and you said you were just looking around... we got home on separate taxis and i made a mental note of your response and that you hadn't made a move on me yet so i was relatively clear on where i stood on this (meh's advice, especially after watching 'He's Just Not That Into You') - you were basically not interested hah so i managed my expectations and thought well a least it has been interesting...when we got home...you did text to say you did notice my choice of outfit (my all time favourite slip dress really)...pity you didn’t manage to take a good look at the cowl back...

29 June: you finally asked me out on a weekend...actually i did casually mention to you that my mom was wondering why this guy i was seeing never asks me out on weekends...and if he’s got a family and all that’s why weekends are off-limits...(a mother’s intuition can be so spot-on but clearly it’s way more complicated than that...anyhow...) and i was ecstatic to say the least even if it was a date that was made that same day...tbh i was inclined to decline cos i don’t really do impromptu dates in general...(like please respect a girl’s time even if i don’t actually have solid plans...vegging at home and netflixing is kinda like a plan ok...)but i okayed it and just had to check what was the general plan cos a girl’s gotta dress for it you know...you brought me to the Ford Musuem having known that i am a sucker for museums covering the history of the war...even though you actually only went recently but you still accompanied me through it...it was also then you realised that i don’t carry my IC with me cos entry was free for SGreans...truth be told i have been to the Ford Musuem...but that was a few years back and i didn’t quite mind rehashing the place again (FOC why not right) they might have updated the exhibits and the experience would have been different with you...and rightly so cos there was so many times when you had your back towards me i wanted to give you a back hug...that you liked receiving them came up several times while we texting...but i never acted on it haha cos i didn’t want to seem i was throwing myself at you...a girl’s gotta to keep her pride in check you know...

after Ford you drove us to Punggol area just to show me the nice relaxing eating space...but we didn’t actually have dinner there lol...we moved on to Punggol Settlement to dine at White Restaurant...the only place you will eat bee hoon cos that placed is famous for it and with good reason cos the food is genuinely good...we had quite the spread, other than the bee hoon we had prawn paste chicken and sambal kang kong :))) happy camper that night cos i appreciate a good meal...i paid for dinner since you were so sweet to drive us around that was least i could do...back in the car you asked if i needed to head home...but i was up for anything...so you suggested a drive and asked if i had been to Jewel since it opened and i hadn’t so we ended up there...

and we continued texting...

1 July: we met for lunch at the Nasi Lemak place opposite Realty Centre (which has since died) and post-lunch i was saying how i was concerned that my hair would smell and all (cos indoor seating with the food cooking inside doesn't make for a great combination) and you reached out and smelt my hair...that was the single most intimate move that i'd ever received and then before we parted you pulled me into a hug and i just went for it... like i didn't do the a-hug or half hug kind of bullshit but a full on body to body contact hug...and it felt nice...i think my mind kinda stopped processing whilst we were hugging but yeah i really really liked the smell of your cologne since then another fact: i was so turned on from that hug my panties were basically soaked; i had to wear my dress the wrong way round so that it wouldn't look like i stained myself... you had that kind of an effect on me...and i think my walls came tumbling down...

4 July: dinner at a Suntec's Unagi place (your choice since we didn't want to deal with the queue at Man Man) and apparently you took off early that night to pick up your car... someone wanted to drive us to some place nice after... i saw that there was 1-for-1 happy hour on the highball and you okayed it even though you were driving

you drove us Marina Barrage and there you said that you liked me and wrapped me in your arms when you said it and i was in a complete daze i mean i was aware that there was something brewing but i wasn't sure of the signs and i've been very wary about 自作多情 so i just maintained whatever it was we had and then this confession...you said i clearly liked you otherwise i wouldn't be hanging out with you which was true and then you asked what was it that i liked about you as you wrapped me in your arms again and i was genuinely at a loss for words...i've received confessions before but never one where it was clearly mutual and in such an intimate setting...the wordsmith basically decided to quit on me and i struggled to find the right words i settled for ‘you make me feel safe’ and that was the absolute truth...i never doubted your intentions before as you were always so honest and forthcoming with the situation back at home and even when you said you couldn’t make this official not until your divorce is finalised in Dec...when in reality not many people around you know about us i accepted it...i trusted you completely... and you took your hand in mine and it was the interlocking kind...and my heart felt all kinds of things it has never felt before... another fact: again super turned on by the hug we shared, panties were soaking wet again but thank god for panty liners otherwise it'll be a different walk of shame for me... i really liked it when you placed your hand on my bum (it felt good somehow), and i definitely felt a boner somewhere...

5 July: dinner and movie (...) i was kinda sad when the night ended, i didn't want it to end cos i always enjoyed our time together, there wasn't enough time anyhow and i gave you a peck on the cheek cos that was all i could muster at that point before we parted...

(...to be continued...)

basically once the touch barrier was broken, i wanted to touch you so badly all the time. literally ALL.THE.TIME. even if it was just stolen moments at Donki i gave you backhugs and random kisses and hand holding...i couldn't get enough... i confirmed one of my top love languages was touch and i wanted to communicate that thoroughly...you meant that much to me...

x x x

and as much as you are wont to admit it, i was defo a rebound, all the signs pointed to it and and it still tears me up inside i basically became collateral damage as you tried to seek solace from the pain... the Heartbreak Spotify Playlist is definitely not helping my case but it’s like beating a dead horse right...you just keep going at it until you’re numb i suppose...but i had no idea how i could relate so much to these songs till now it’s pretty crazy...some favourite tracks that can set me off right now are: Camila Cabelo’s Consequences X Ambassadors’ Unsteady Birdy’s Skinny Love