#would love to know what pete was saying to andy LMAO

[abovetherainandroses]

patrick’s story before where is your boy + andy and pete having a side convo at the beginning

[omegalomania]

the full apple music interview with zane lowe is out! we got snippets of it when love from the other side dropped, but they finally rolled out the full thing. here are some highlights that stood out to me :)

patrick describes pete's lyrics as what gets him out of bed in the morning. if pete doesn't send him lyrics, he doesn't write a song.

andy and pete used to draw fake snake tattoos on each other using magic markers as kids omg?

so evidently patrick was the one who got covid during hella mega tour. and he hated it and he was miserable and that's when he called neal avron about the new record lmao

patrick says that joe was hesitant at first and he was the one who said that for this record he wanted to make something that they could all savor and spend time on and patrick was immediately on board with that

pete says patrick's job is to interpret him because pete calls his mentality a "little bit off" but patrick is capable of understanding him and translating it

patrick describes his and pete's creative relationship as "twin speak." it's not linear and it's like living in his brain a little bit. he calls it the "weirdest thing i've ever seen" when pete can just Tell that some words that patrick adjusted weren't ones he wrote despite not remembering writing them. patrick says he's gotten better at connective tissue and knowing how pete would say things

pete: back in the day patrick was like, "what's the difference between cry and weep i will KILL YOU. THEY'RE THE SAME THING. I'M GONNA KILL YOU RIGHT NOW."

zane says patrick's vocals are next level for this album. pete agrees that he kills it on this album and said he never would've expected that voice coming from him when they first met. zane says patrick could sing a recipe and it would be good. he then passes patrick a recipe and patrick. sings it???

patrick: i'm not gonna belt it. (starts belting) NINE INCH PIE PLATE ROLLING PIN

patrick says that pete doesn't mean to have rhythm to his words but there's a rhythm to them all the same and patrick can find this syncopation in his words and thinks it's amazing

more talking about patrick and pete's Magical Mystical Transcendent Soul Bond. patrick says "if we were one guy, we'd be an INCREDIBLE DUDE"

patrick and pete say that interviews with all four of them are hard because it's chaos and everyone's talking at once but it all makes perfect sense to them and no one else. zane says that sounds like fun flkjdfd [i agree please do this more it's a joy]

pete says joe really stepped up and wrote a lot for this record!

patrick: "joe is kind of a conundrum because he's this really talented...he's a brilliant writer, a brilliant player, but pete and i became the "team" and it wasn't really a plan, but that's just kind of how it happened. [brief tangent about the hiatus] we come back from the thing and joe is this fully-formed writer with a very distinct - he has one of the most distinctive writing voices. when i hear his parts, when i hear his ideas, i could pick them out of a crowd. like i know the way joe writes, and it's VERY joe." part of the process with post-hiatus was integrating him into the writing process more.

discussing the hiatus and fame and pete says his life kind of "blew up" and took it pretty hard. apparently during production for folie paparazzi actually broke down the gate to neal avron's house

patrick goes on a big tangent about how bad things got during the height of pete's fame. "part of my role is to tell his story. i'm a composer. that's what i like to do. i work on movies, i work on shows, and i work on pete. pete has a story that needs music, and if he's removed from himself, if he's not even able to access himself because he's behind all of this stuff, i don't have a story! so not only did i not have my buddy, which was heartbreaking in its own way, but then i also don't have a purpose as an artist."

patrick says that andy is always ready to play but when you get him happy to play, it's another level

"and trohman, there were these moments where he...he got so excited."

patrick describes writing what a time to be alive as wanting to write the saddest, most desperate song you could hear at a wedding. pete bursts into laughter and calls it "so twisted"

talking about other endeavors outside the band - patrick talks about composing and said joe's been super busy with his book and writing for tv and because there are so many deadlines for stuff like that, it's what hammered home to him that fall out boy needs to not be that. "there's something special about this that can't be...this has to be passionate and art."

discussing how scared patrick was of his own voice while the band took off. patrick was really scared of the song saturday at first because there are some really exposed vocal moments. he describes saturday as a song where everyone in the band lets each other go for it.

zane calls fall out boy the "emo blueprint" and says they were unapologetic in being emotional. patrick immediately says, "that was pete. i don't think we could've done that without him." he and joe were basically kids and patrick was too anxious to talk on stage.

zane says, "i remember interviewing you in the early days and i felt like every time i asked you a question i was bullying you." pete IMMEDIATELY loses his shit.

"in another life where i didn't have a pete...cause saturday, i did write most of that by myself...so there's a world where that song exists without the band. there's no world where i sing it in front of people without pete."

pete says every night before they put out a new song he calls patrick up and gets really scared and wants to back out and patrick talks him down every time

they talk about how scary it was when arm's race released and performing it at the amas. patrick starts laughing rly hard as they get into how there were giant crickets on stage and the crowd was just stone-faced and utterly nonresponsive and their stage manager was utterly panicked

towards the end patrick really loosens up and starts swearing more dlkfjdfd

[spirallingstarcases]

Okay but no I actually love listening to eowyg and tttygs calm before the storm back to back. Like you can just hear the growth and how much more complete they are in the updated version. Like to me it’s the clearest example of how essential Andy’s drumming is to their sound bc you hear the version without him and it’s so much less alive, it’s not nearly as interesting or full or just. Idk the og drummer isn’t bad but it’s certainly lacking Andy’s presence. Joes guitar parts are so much more developed and prominent and it feels like he got to be more front and center esp at in the bridge. The bridge itself is miles better in the tttyg version like eowyg it’s almost like they just decided to take a break mid song it’s very minimal. But the newer one is gorgeous and it’s simple but it’s so well composed and layered with all of them. The bass line is mostly the same from what I can tell but we all know that’s not Pete’s real impact. Pete’s changes to the lyrics for the new one! Or at least I’m assuming he was responsible for the verse updates. It feels like him. it makes me think more than anything of how often Patrick talks about how Pete’s words have such a unique rhythm inherent to them, bc the way Patrick sings the new one is so melodic and it fits so well where the eowyg version is just a little clunkier. And Patrick’s VOICE. I remember being younger and listening to cbts specifically in tttyg and the bridge through the end and being like?? This kid?? This is the kid who thought he wasn’t a singer? Because he’s sustaining ridiculous notes and vocal runs and it’s insanely good for his age and where they were and back then I just thought like it’s wild that he was so nervous back then about singing but on songs like that he’s just going all in. And then I found the eowyg one and went ohhhhhh okay because he didn’t start there. He didn’t have the capability or the confidence or the consistency yet. He did start out very rough and had to work his way up to belting out those high notes and the smoothness of his voice etc. So yeah going to tttygs version right after it’s just so satisfying because everything that’s good about it is showing off the core of what makes each of them so necessary to their sound, and what unique parts of the music each of them bring to the table that would make it incomplete without the whole band. Rambling but eowyg is. Eh. But I’m glad we have it if for nothing else than I love the comparison between those versions of the song

anon i don’t have nearly HALF the coherency for good song analysis like you do but it’s like as i read ur ask i found myself going “hey yeah i DID notice that” or “that’s actually a really good point”

but one part i can say is that eowyg is really lacking in terms of like. everything? knowing what fob can actually do might be tainting my opinion on this but listening to it makes me wonder how their actual songwriting processes in and of itself had changed in the time between evening out and tttyg because the guitar sounds wildly different and in tttyg it sounds like there’s actually more then two guitars playing when evening out relied on two guitar lines presumably between joe and trick

and patrick’s VOICE the stark difference between the overstrained eowyg vocals vs tttyg where patrick sounds much fuller and let’s his actual throaty deep voice out, in eowyg it feels like he was focused on sounding pop punk and hitting notes that he didn’t even think he could hit when in tttyg he was more focused on the melody and keeping his runs even

i just woke up so that’s pretty much all i have to say rn LMAO but anon just know ur explanation of it is sooooo real and true

[awstens-vagina]

omg letsgo (you may have meant dm it to you but I'm reblogging so everyone can see me being obsessed on main lol hopefully that's okay)

thats more than okay :) the world must know about Peterick femslash

-ok ok ok the way she goes from being like "trish isn't the prettiest thing ever but maybe she's got talent idk" to literally having her brain just do a flustered keysmash every time trish walked in the room 👌👌👌👌👌😭😭😭

yeah and when it says "Pete doesn’t really do chubby but hey, there’s a first time for everything" and then Pete immediately becomes head over heels

-WHEN THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THE GIRLS THEY LIKE AND PETE IS LIKE 'YEAH WELL I LIKE THIS GIRL NAMED PATRICIA SHE'S FIVE FOOT ONE' HELP ME

to her face too and Trish still doesnt get it lmao

-Joe is a little bitch (affectionate)

who among us isnt

-i love that they're all genderswapped except for Joe LMAO author was like nah this one's good

im kinda suprised the author made Andy a girl, out of all of them hes the hardest one to imagine as a girl (mostly because of the beard)

-i know this is a weird part to like but when pete goes into her room again after the fight and trish just INSTANTLY punches her in the eye 😂 i love her

with her cat-like reflexes

-"you have to tell me you're serious because i won't ever be the same if you're not" WHAM

ougghhhhh

-LOVE FEELS LIKE KEYS IN THE IGNITION AND COMING HOME

that line would make such an incredible song lyric. or tattoo

AGGH anyway thanks for sending it to me I am forever an altered man because of it, tell me your favorite parts!!

i loved this scene:

“I don’t know, Trishy, it seemed to make you a little more confident! Or maybe you were just excited? What color panties did you think I was wearing? You remembered I don’t wear a bra, right?” Pete pokes, wrapping her arm around Trish as they walk outside to get a breath of fresh air. It lasts all of three seconds before Trish smacks her hand and steps firmly away, predictable, but those three seconds are pretty cool.

“I didn’t picture you naked. You already don’t leave much to the imagination,” Trish says. She’s not wrong, but Pete thinks she’s kind of a bitch for putting it like that. She wants to stay angry at Trish, but then she thinks about Trish staring her down in her mini skirts and tank tops, deciding that Pete’s maybe a bit of a slut, and all is forgiven. Trish can think whatever she wants as long as Pete knows she’s looking.

telling Trish to imagine her naked save for her panties and wanting Trish's eyes all over her but not caring if Trish thinks shes a slut... so good

and "Joe moves his hands in a scissoring motion" made me laugh

Trish undermines her rumor-squashing efforts when she opens her pretty little mouth and says, “Nothing much. We played Smash for a while. Then we slept together.” [...] Her cheeks are a little red, like she knows she probably said something inappropriate on accident, but Pete knows her well enough to know that she’s probably thought of the phrase “slept together” innocently for her entire life.

screaming crying wailing throwing up etc. Shes so innocent and doe-eyed

and the ending was so good too:

She’s read about the afterlife, yes, but having been so loved and loving so much in return, Pete decides for the first time that she has really lived.

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT

THANK YOU

I KNOW!!! THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD LINES AND SCENES IN IT!!!!

tell me your favorite parts because i gotta talk about it so bad

[lapis-lazuliie]

What's your favourite character from each episode?

Sorry, I know this will take forever 😂

aH wow okay

series 1;

sardines - carl. i love his dry humour and his outfit is just so neat to me lol. he seems like he would be downright hilarious to spend a day w/.

a quiet night in - ray. just how quickly fed up he becomes of eddie is brilliant 🤣🤣

tom & gerri - tom! he just seems like a decent guy ^ ^

last gasp - god they're all terrible people 🤣 but i do love sally. the absolute hypocrisy of her character is astounding and tamsin greig is such a wonderful actress

the understudy - ngl...jim. i like his quiet nature heh

the harrowing - oh tabs of course <33 i would go for hector, but...well, there're a lot of reeces characters on this list lmao and helen mccrory was just so beautiful,,,

series 2;

la couchette - hAHA shona

the 12 days of christine - christine of course!!! beautifully portrayed by sheridan

the trial of elizabeth gadge - ah mr clarke my beloved <3

cold comfort - hm....andy. again, another decent character who got involved in some traumatic shit

nanas party - pat. damn hilarious, and reeces wig was ugly as fuck lol

seance time - none. they're all intolerable 🤣🤣 but if i really had to choose....pete?

series 3;

the devil of christmas - idk, kathy?? i didn't really get attached to any of them, but the whole 70s film aesthetic was so excellently done and had such a charm to it <3

the bill - archiiiie my love

the riddle of the sphinx - oh god. honestly, charlotte

empty orchestra - janet!!! i loved her so much 💕

diddle diddle dumpling - david </3

private view - agAIN it's so tricky to choose when you're not invested in any of them 🤣🤣 but geez probably bea

series 4;

zanzibar - robert!! one of the few pure characters they've written

bernie clifton's dressing room - oh god tommy of course. a tragic silver fox,,,

once removed - ahahaha hugo, how i adore thee

to have and to hold - harriet. not sure how i could elaborate here

and the winner is... - paula, for sure. zoe did a thoroughly convincing american accent and her character was just as bored of the whole thing as a majority of the audience was 🤣🤣 not me though, i found it highly entertaining lol

tempting fate - i want to say nick, but it's come to my attention as of recently that he's a petty bastard bitch SO top place goes to maz, on the basis that her lines are funny as hell

series 5;

the referee's a w***ker - none!! the mascot i guess? 🤣🤣🤣

death be not proud - ahh maureen. i know she's a return character, but seeing reece play her is such a good time

loves great adventure - aw trevor </3 the guy just loves his family so so much and SHAME ON ALL OF YOU WHO WANTED HIM DEAD IN YOUR FMK GAMES,,,,,

misdirection - gabrielle! kudos on you for getting nevilles arrogant ass arrested. hmu for drinks sometimes

thinking out loud - awww aiden

the stakeout - haHA varney cause i'm a wh*re for vampires. and like...reece feeding on steves neck did awaken something in me 😳

series 6;

wuthering heist - scaramouche....weird little italian man❤️

simon says - ah christ 🤣 spencer? bc he's just. d*ddy

lip service - felix 🥺🥺 iris you Bitch

hurry up and wait - jaaames. you were just so wrong, sweetie. and that's okay

how do you plead? - would love for urban to be my nurse tbh <3

last night of the proms - ahah they're all bastards. boris the dog it is 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

[fakeoldmanfucker]

10, 12, and 14 for the behind the scenes asks!

Thanks for the ask! :)

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Dialogue for sure! It used to probably be exposition, but ever since I started reading plays, I really developed an appreciation for how much can be conveyed through what is (and isn't) said. I don't know if I'm any good at it, but it's certainly fun!

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

I...really want to write a fake dating au. I don't know what the plot or setting would be or anything, but just the idea of it? Very appealing. Plenty of opportunity for angst And comedy, so fun!

14. If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?

Okay since I've been talking about "summer love on a gurney" I'll pick from them...I would say Andy for sure. He seems capable and is for sure way stronger than I am, which would definitely be helpful. Then...Pete? I would love to be able to pick his brain, not just about lyrics but his general outlook on stuff, and as an Actual Jock he would probably be good at helping us not die lmao.

behind the scenes writing asks

[vertigoambrosia]

wttf day 1

i think i’ve been spoilered a bit

oh we starting off with some oberhausen history?

jk it’s all for a clumsy metaphor

LMAO they didn’t even do a VO for dominic garrini and his partner

i forgot how cursed the lineup became

norman harris and david starr is...a thing? i guess they didn’t have a ton of choices tho

karsten ilu but you should at least get new accessories for tag festival’s color scheme

alan just smiling at the camera cause he doesn’t have a mic

lol bless jay skillet

ah yes, basically the match we saw last week. you’d think the cancellations would be an excuse to make the 1st round matches a little better?

i guess that would mean tweaking the entire tournament tho...

jay trying to get a little orange cassidy look going on there?

wait why is ahura wearing pants? and a shirt? this is very weird

wtf he didn’t even take off his shirt

AH ok here we go

note to ahura: do the striptease before the match

lotta slaps going on here?

AHURA JUST DO IT OMG

boi

BOI

goddammit you stupid hot boy

hahahaha absolute shurrle

its funny that ahura is so into himself cause maggot is definitly the prettier one

pls have ahura save the day for once

let my dumb boy do good

i know he’s good at selling but still

also rico needs to stop calling pretty bastards ‘kids’ it’s very fucking annoying

yaaaay the team with working brain cells won!

awwwww

oh here’s these dramaticv edgelords again

“ANARCHY”, they say VERY SERIOUSLY

man i want purge club to make a shirt i actually want to wear

oh god pete’s committed to the napkin shirt thing isn’t he

the only thing about purge club in wxw is that they should be booed cause they are bad people but that’s just nbot really going to happen

pls boo heels

hahahaha people booing schadenfreude

probablhy cause they’‘ve been so mean to lucky

oh nevermind i forgot schadenfreude could literally shoot a puppy and people would love them

so is ivan’s turn not going to be a plot point? because....it shoudl be and commenbtary don’t seem to want to mention it

i wish they had recorded a promo with lucky before this but i guess they didn’t have time since he wasn’t even supposed to be in this match

rico: “pete bouncer looks amazing. i look...great”

now complimenting andy jackson’s physique

rico also likes purge club’s gloves

andy jackson loves ivan even commentary is having some feelings here

pete over there being SERIOUSLY SINISTER

lmao andy said ivan is probably the best wrester in germany and rico’s like ‘and his partner is the best looking wrestler in germany’

i would ask them to Calm Down but that would be hypocritical, wouldn’t it?

‘i just hope lucky has found a family that is not going to betray him’ me too, andy

lucky and kyle are getting a lot more offense that i was expecting

i cant tell if i feel the pacing is off or if i’m just feeling off

i guess pacing is the wrong word...i guess sometimes it’s feeling like more of a series of spots than a coherent match with beginning, middle, adn end?

but also i think it’s that lucky and kyle have never really looked in peril

umm rico lilac is a shade of purple

also in english we pronounce it ‘lie-lack’

i would have liked to see purge club look a little more dangerous than they have been here

i mean, i’m not pissy about them winning by weapons, because that’ what they do, but they don’t seem particularly more brutal otherwise

not even much sadism

i don’t know anything about flamita

i like jonathan gresham

i’ve honestly been not horrible excited about tag league and i’m kind of out of it rn anyway so forgive me if i don’t get particularly engagved

loll did flamita hit someone

i do not approve of gresham’s extra muscle

he looks real top heavy

that’s not how octopuses are built!

*gresham voice* oh i know you are not thinking of chopping me....how fucking dare you

plot!

oh i thought robert was gonna get attacked in the bathroom

oh fuck inner circle had important plot points?

avalanche’s new jacket looks like it has crushed glass glued to it or something

yeahhhhhh workhorsemen!

i would have liked to see anti-fun police go up against jay AA or pretty bastards

oh btw this is the first time i’m actually watching these dudes

i will say that the workhorsemen ccan be pretty fun straight men though - i laughed pretty hard in new york when the crowd started chanting ‘he’s a heavyweight’ at kyle fletcher and jd drake was like “????????????”

hahaha i didn’t know santos carried heat

wait i thought british cops didn’t ahve guns????

wow alan’s bringing up fucking evolve storylines

FUCK he’s even bringing up stuff from when i was watching evolve

btw jd drake is actually james drake but changed his name once british james drake got signed to nxt uk

i still have to remind myself not to call him james sometimes

[he’ll always be james to me]

sorry chenny my southern boys > your cop boys

so i saw something on twitter that may be a spoiler for this match? or one of the crown’s matches? anyway we’ll find out

norman harris is a child

aj is stretching out a child

rela talk tho norman needs a character real bad cause rn he’s just toll young boy

also rico and andy need to like, chat a lil less about jurn’s physique

i know that’s like, most of his character now but he aint that special

i would say what ass holes are booing david starr but it’s probably mike kilby

oh fuck is aj ok i feel like he’s taking some nasty shit here

oh he just tried to murder norman he ok

i have no idea who is legal now

god i love how much of a fucking shit aj is

~ooo i’m gonna kiss him before i kill him ~

AH THAT APRON SPOT

HAHAHAHAHA

YESSS

FUCK THE CROWN

lmaoooo aj’s face

why is rico so gung ho for the crown can’t we just have them be heel

oh jurn has his SERIOUS FACE

that hug means nothing!

he kissed david and then kicked him in the dick!

HAHAHAH AMAZING

i did get spoiled about AJ turning on jurn and i love it

ew i guess jurn will be face now though? gross

but i am so here for AJ being 1000% garbage

omg lavaniel’s robe

bless this boy

too pure to have brain cells

oh my god he really thinks he lives in the sky

ok wait no bb you are not being cool rn leave my girl faye alone

i love the idea of amale having levaniel as her pet but i am kinda also cringey about how they could fuck it up so easily?

like, whaddya mean by ‘this problem’ starchild?

‘you can take your love and shove it’ BLESS U MIKE

oh god rico shut the fuck up

alan please tag in i can’t take this

also friendly reminder that i hate the concept of mixed tag matches

guys why did i think mike schwarz was tall?

was toby blunt just super fucking tiny?

levaniel has bo dallas level all confidence no brains, doesn’t he?

the dimples

what a contrast -  i could hear andy and rico talk about levaniel forever

LMAOOO did he just fake tag faye by hitting her in the face with mike’s hand

also lol @ amale not actually wanting to do any work

kill the ‘i’m a woman and i’m gonna just flail my hands at my opponent and shreik’ spot

oh man wxw is so fucking clumsy with women’s storylines; or at least summarizing them

you see, amale doesn’t think a ‘woman like faye’ deserves to be champion, but faye jackson ‘represents the real women’

wait so we can’t actually have men hit women in the match but levaniel straight up punches faye aRIGHT IN FRONT OF TAS and nothing happens?

this is what drives me nuts about these

wxw pls actually make faye womens champ i would much appreciate it

also i would not have thought of faye and mike beign friends but i dig it

oh hey arrows!

wait the arrows debuted in wxw in 2015? or did i mishear icarus? cause i’m like 100% sure they first showed up here last year

this is a good promo but this music is wayyy too dramatic

i know dominic garrini a bit from evolve but honestly cannot tell you anything about kevin ku or violence is forever

apparently they team in the south tho and i don’t know that scene at all so

garrini is legit ju jitsu boy

what the crowd singing

oh wtf thta suplex/blind tag/suplex combo fucking owned

dover artfully draping his opponents over the turnbuckle

violence is forever’s combos are super cool

boys where are you going

UM ICARUS

BOY

BOY

btw i should note that alan and rico are really on fire on commentary here

man imagine flying to germany on like, less than a week’s notice, going to wrestle the same day you land, and your crazy ass opponent is like ‘ok so you will be down there with my partner, and i will go on the balcony and then jump off on you guys’

omg these crowd anticipation shots are great

YEAHHHHHH SPEEDBALL’S GONNA BE AT CARAT

chris ridgeway is cool too i guess but i’ve only seen him wrestling like twice and know nothing about him so whatever

oney’s twitter owns bones

IT TIM

veit back to singlets and idk how i feel about that

this one isn’t nipple bearing tho

oh npe we got a slip

god he’s so fuckign beefy

AWWWW TIM’S IN THE TOURNAMENT CAUSE HE THINKS VEIT DESERVES TO BE A CHAMP

that’s so cute

tim is such a good dad

oney has taken a while to grown on me but i love the ‘perpetually angry’ thing

sadly i’m not 100% paying attention to this match because i have so many more shows to watch and also need to go outside soon today

timo’s slap is such fucking murder

holding hands spot

OH FUCK THAT UPPERCUT

lol i could be talking about like, anything in this match

but i was talking about the double team toss/uppercut combo

tim uppercutting people out of the air is always amazing

rico really into burch’s bod

WHAT

WHAT?

w

h

a

t

i am shook

veit :(

[vintagemiserie]

hehe this one is long my boyz. jazz au ofc cuz its been my muse 4 the past couple months lmao. ill prob edit this and put it on ao3 tmw or in two days idk

Patrick's hand found a grasp on Joe's sleeve, and he used that grasp to pull him all the way inside, reaching for Joe's collar and pressing their lips together once the door shut. Sure, it was Pete's house, but they were all hanging out there that day, and so they could be a little more intimate. Besides, the short walk from the driveway to the front door was dotted with thrown snowballs and giggling, so if only felt natural to kiss. “Hey, boys, how about saying hi before making out?” Pete said, stepping over from the kitchen in a t-shirt and shorts just as they separated. Patrick found himself unsure as to how exactly he should respond, but Joe laughed it off, so Patrick clung to him and followed suit, a bad feeling building in his chest.

“Well, hey, Pete,” Joe said, pulling Patrick into a sweet little kiss. “Is Ash around? Or is she in LA?”

“New York, actually. She's always busy this time of the year. Is Andy coming over, too?”

“I dunno, I didn't—”

“He's in Milwaukee working with that rock band he's in,” Patrick said, his mouth going dry when he realized that he really didn't need to elaborate at all past any kind of “no, he's not coming over.” He went through what was said to him in therapy: deep breaths and considering that others won't notice the flaws Patrick found in himself.

Pete certainly didn't seem to notice. “Aw, that sucks,” He said, and Patrick allowed himself to exhale. “Okay, so, there's a band in town that I think both of you would enjoy for entirely different reasons—I was thinking dinner, then their show?”

“Sounds good,” Joe said. He put an arm around Patrick's shoulders as Pete excused himself to get properly dressed. He seemed to hesitate speaking for a moment, and so did Patrick, unsure of why he was feeling so anxious. “Are you doing alright?” Joe asked, his voice toned down with an energy different from Joe's usual laid-back attitude.

“I'm doing fine.”

“Your tone betrays your words, baby. Sorry. What's bringing you down, though, seriously? You sound terrible.”

“I 'unno, I just… something made me nervous and I guess I clung onto that—I’m fine, though, really. Most days I end up panicking over even less than this, multiple times a day, and I end up fine, so I can handle this on my own.”

“I just wanted to make sure. I know you like not talking, but make sure you keep me informed if it gets worse, okay?”

Patrick nodded, shuffling closer so he could set his head against Joe's shoulder; Joe wrapped his as around Patrick and kissed him.

“I hope you know how much I love you. I can't imagine how awful you feel, and I can barely talk to my roommate most days without half an hour of psyching myself out.”

Patrick realized at that moment that he had never considered Joe to be someone who would panic of things as inconsequential as talking to a friend, but his thoughts were processed into a murmured, “I love you too,” hoping he said it with enough conviction that Joe would hear past the barrier Patrick had between thinking and saying his thoughts.

Pete returned. “Swear, I can't leave you guys alone without you guys attaching to each other,” He said, nearly laughing. He pushed passed them and opened the door. “Okay, let's go!”

Joe seemed insistent on holding Patrick's hand as they walked to Pete's car, and Patrick tried his best to convince himself that it wasn't because Joe was worried about Patrick's anxieties, but because Joe didn't want him to scoop up a snowball and throw it at him. The attempt didn't work, and Patrick just felt bad for dragging down Joe's mood.

Dinner was pizza, and it was fine. They didn't discuss much, just talked about the music they were working on. Someone recognized them as they left, but didn't ask for much else but an autograph from Patrick. Joe packed a snowball in his hands and Patrick pretended he didn't notice, though he practically forgot about it by the time Joe threw it at him. He at least remembered to laugh instead of get upset, but a bad headache stopped him from thinking too intensely over anything.

In fact, time seemed to rush past him, and suddenly he was handed a ticket stub and Joe squeezed his hand to ask him if he was feeling okay. Patrick said his headache was getting a little better, and Joe seemed to accept that, though it didn't stop him from getting Patrick water. He asked Pete what the time was and learned that the ride to the venue, getting tickets, and entering the concert hall took all of twenty minutes; Pete pat his back and told him he'd be fine, they had a whole opener to sit through, it'd be fine.

Joe came back, giving him the water bottle with a big smile. “Some chick told me to tell you hi, and that she wished you weren't queer because she thought you were hot,” He said, and Patrick tried his best not to freak out over that. Joe bit his lip and raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything, probably not wanting to bother Patrick further, and Patrick didn't mind.

“What—ah, I still don't know who we're seeing,” He said, looking around. The audience seemed to be a mix of hippies and rockers, and it made Patrick feel almost out of place.

“Rolling Stones,” was Joe's answer.

“Oh, they did that thing with Lennon and Yoko two years ago. Are they—this seems like a small venue for a band like them, hm?”

“I guess. I think they sold out Wrigley too, though, so they must've just wanted to do a small show.”

Patrick nodded and drank more of his water.

“They're all totally your type, too,” Joe added.

Patrick laughed, and Joe's expression brightened considerably, perhaps relieved he was at least acting better. He figured Joe's panicked feelings were dissipating, which would have been good if Patrick hadn't reminded himself he only found out about those feelings a few hours prior.

The lights dimmed and the opener played their set and Patrick figured it was alright, but far too reliant on drums and guitar in lieu of good lyrics. His headache went away, at least, but he wasn't impressed. Both Pete and Joe glanced his direction every few seconds, checking to see if he was doing alright, and it was nearly tiring to deal with. People trickled in until the standing room was too tight for Patrick to really handle, a problem made worse when Joe left to get Patrick another water. Pete settled a hand on Patrick's back, probably as much a way to keep Patrick grounded as it was to keep them from separating in the crowd.

The Rolling Stones came on stage before Joe returned, and Patrick could only hope he'd get back somehow. He was right, though, the dark, shaggy hair and lanky-yet-strong builds were exactly what Patrick found himself attracted to. The music was interesting, but nothing he specifically enjoyed, so he let himself lose his focus on the music. Joe somehow found his way back, giving him the water and putting an arm around him.

“Eyecandy, right?” Joe said into his ear, still struggling to be heard over the music and the crowd. Patrick laughed and nodded. “Pete decided on going 'cause we thought you'd give it more of a chance.”

“You know, I do like some rock!” Patrick replied, struggling to yell but still keep their conversation private, since Joe stopped leaning over to whisper to him.

Joe laughed and settled his head against Patrick's, singing along to the lyrics of whatever song was being played. Patrick decided maybe he would try to focus a little, drinking more of his water and ogling at the band.

[dynamics-of-an-asteroid]

Who were the comedians/comedy you liked that are now problematic? and who are your favorites now?

Like, all of them lmao. I grew up consuming a lot of comedy however I could get it, but most of the subject matter went over my head as a kid. As I got older, though, and was able to fully understand what I was consuming as opposed to just being entertained by a gifted storyteller and performer, I found it harder and harder to sit through some of the material no matter how hard the audience was laughing. Sure there were always really super funny bits to focus on that weren’t homophobic or sexist, but it felt like I was endorsing the bad stuff if I thought the stand-up overall was funny. I actually ended up being introduced to a lot of The Greats through their movies and tv shows as a result because it was a diet version of what they were known for, which then allowed me to decide if I wanted to check out more from them (which also got harder when I learned how many of them were shitbags and how the comedy world would harbor them because they made us laugh despite their sad backstories). So if you can name a relatively well-known comedian from the past 100 years, there’s a high possibility I’ve interacted with something they’ve done (and may even continue to do so depending on who it is).

And to clarify I said problematic because I’m trying to remove “it’s a product of its time” out of my vocabulary. The phrase implies I can’t expect much better from material produced in say, the 80s, when we knew damn good and well what was right and wrong then (as numerous other works from the time proves). It also creates this false positivity that whatever the issue was then is a thing of the past when you can turn on Nexflix right now and find a comedy special with just as many problems as you would find from “a product of its time”. Said “time” is still now, you know? So while I’m not much fonder of the word “problematic”, it upholds a sense of responsibility I feel like gets removed when people go back and realize that edgy, groundbreaking work they loved was never without its problems. It was just easier to ignore or give a pass to for whatever reason, so we need to focus on why that was and how to stop it. 

But some comedians that I like now who are by no mean perfect but I can think of at the moment: Gina Yashere, Tig Notaro, Tiffany Hiddish, Pete Holmes, John Mulaney, W. Kamau Bell, for some reason I’ve been getting in to comedy duos over the past few years like Key & Peele, Desus & Mero, whenever Hannibal Buress and Eric Andre get together (and I attribute a part of my weird ass humor in general to Conan O'Brien and Andy Ritcher), James Vietch, Ali Wong, Patton Oswalt, Maz Jobrani, Gabriel Iglesias, Jo Koy, Kumail Nanjiani, John Leguizamo (one of the few constants since I was a kid), Donald Glover is currently doing the Lord’s work for us black nerds but his stand-up is pretty good too if he ever gets back to it, and various Saturday Night Live Alumni I have hot/cold relationships with (like they’re hilarious but I get frustrated at some of their views. Come to think of it, I have an even bigger list of comedians who I wish would stop doubling down on whatever was raw and shocking [read: full of swearing and masking toxic ideologies as being “brutally honest”] ten years ago that made them famous and smarten up their acts, because they have a wit and an insight that would be perfect to offset the type of climate we’re in now of being anti-intellectual, anti-pc, and contrary for the sake of “free thinking” or whatever the fuck, but I fear they’d be used as props for those exact groups).

There’s comedians who I love their delivery like Sarah Silverman, Nikki Glaser and Bill Burr, but can’t always get behind what they’re saying in their work and it can take me out of their stand-ups sometimes (please stop making rape jokes PLEASE??), there’s ones who I want to love but they just keep missing the mark for some reason (Jay Pharoah immediately comes to mind because if his impersonations are not spot on I cringe a bit. But I’m also being super unfair because the only celebrity death I have ever cried over was Robin Williams [another massive contributor to my humor] so the bar is impossibly high), and then there’s ones who were funny at first or were okay to me when they first came out but now I don’t care for or won’t check out their new stuff (I’m looking at you Kevin Hart). 

[nocllesnow]

22, 9, 3 !

which muse is the trickiest to get into character for?

probably darcy?? only because he fluctuates so much between being harsh and being awkward and being annoyed because HE doesn’t know what he’s doing, so he’s some serious mood whiplash. ithaca is a close second, though, because i’m still feeling my way around what she does and how she feels and how she acts around different people, because she’s a character whose responses 100% depend on who she’s talking to. that being said, tho, i like to think my characters are pretty in-character?? hopefully?? IDK FAM

why were you drawn to each one of your characters?

this gonna be a long answer fam, u ready??

noelle: mY FIRST BAE, playing shy characters was easier for me when i entered a new group, plus shy olaf daughter?? with a dad who’s extra af?? yES PLS. ngl, i stalked the rp for like a week before joining bc i was highkey intimidated, so i feel like that showed through noelle a bit.

kai: SILVERMIST IS MY DISNEY FAIRY FAVE, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, and taehyung’s face was calling to me fam, i really wanted a fairy character and i mean, silvermist was the fave, so why not??

luna: when tasha was still around she said in the ooc that she wanted a daughter of pitch black for andy and i wAS ON THAT SHIT the muse came to me fam, and isabelle suited the character so well the rest was history.

caspia: seeing the hundred acre wood characters start to come in i was like “yO WHAT IF PIGLET HAD A REBELLIOUS AF DAUGHTER” and i also wanted a character to get drunk bc none of the aforementioned characters really got drunk, so tHERE SHE BE

ophelia: with the Mess™ that the wonderland characters at the time had going on, i ended up getting muse for a more fussy yet adventurous and curious daughter of the white rabbit, thus ophelia was born. nONE of those wonderland characters are around anymore, but she was a character who i found had to grow up a bit and idk fam i could go oN

zane: UM SHOCK LOCK AND BARREL ARE MY FAVES?? i remember EB mentioned rex being terrified of their kids and the muse continued from there tbh?? i’d wanted to use jungkook for a while and i was like oPPORTUNITY, and he was another character that grew up quite a bit when i first got him

eirella: listen............she was meant to be a daydreamer who had a bit of a temper, right?? tHEN I REALISED I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN SHE WAS ANGRY SO ANGRY SHE BECAME. i also really like dancer characters, sO

misty: there was a lot of Mess™ happening with the atlantica-olympus crew and i thought to myself “lmao what if it was flounder’s kid that has to deal with all of them” aND THUS MISTY WAS BORN, it was very quick tbh but i don’t regret it one bit

jacinta: i wanted a very whimsical and energetic character as well as a very immature one, and i thought a daughter of stitch would fit the bill tbh. i also love stitch, and with kei as her fc it just sorta fell into place tbh

talon: i wANTED MATT DADDARIO AS AN FC OK and tbh i went through a few options, but i went with tarzan and jane because the character i had in mind was one that was kinda rough and socially inept, and i figured being raised in the jungle away from humans was perfect for that

alissa: fAIRY GODMOTHER CHILD?? YES PLS. with all the crazy shit that was happening in auradon, i wanted a character like alissa who wanted to stand up for the school ( this was before we had an actual fairy godmother mind you ) and also one who wanted to grant wishes because SHE wanted to. a lot of it was based on the fairy godmother in the original descendants movie who wouldn’t let jane use magic, and so alissa would be under the same circumstances and just rebel, plain and simple

sabrina: LOOK I HAD HER IN MIND FOR MONTHS BEFORE I HAD HER I’M JUST SDKLFJSLDF with all the wreck-it-ralph characters around, i got inspired, and i was like “how WOULD turbo treat his kid??” aND THUS SHE WAS BORN AND WOULDN’T LEAVE MY MIND

xiaoli: around the time i was thinking about sabrina, i was also thinking about xiaoli. there were a few inspirations for xiaoli’s character. the whole ‘i am a tool’ line came from peko pekoyama from dangan ronpa and the writing in her sketchbook thing came from this character megumi from the anime special a and everything just sorta fell into place?? i love her so much like??

viviette: MIRACULOUS LADYBUG HYPE FAM i lowkey wanted a ML character for a while and then all this hype about queen bee was going around and it was cHLOE AND I WAS LIKE !!!!!!! and i was really drawn to the backstory riley made for cameron so it was a no-brainer whose kid i was gonna create

frederick: I WANTED A BRATTY PRINCE. THAT’S ALL I WANTED. AND NOW HERE HE IS. A MASTERPIECE OF BULLSHITERY. and now i also love when he guts flustered and blushy blushy that’s always fun

gabriel: i knew i wanted a soft, well-mannered, flower-child boy, i just didn’t know where to put him, and then i remembered how much i fUCKING LOVED THE SWAN PRINCESS AS A CHILD and it was a no-brainer, he’s just so pure, so beautiful

beatrix: sMALL FEISTY DEMON CHILD?? CHERNABOG?? LITERALLY SATAN’S DAUGHTER?? NEED I SAY MORE?? i wanted a character who was a persuasive little shit, basically. hopefully i’m doing her justice even tho i brING HER SO MUCH PAIN i basically have no issues doing anything to her bc chernabog would legit do ANYTHING bc he has no morals, like at all

roxanne: princess who’s done with her dad’s shit, basically someone who might be able to dO SOMETHING about the crazy ass shit that goes on in auradon as well as someone close to the king to actually oppose the king, and i aLSO wanted a character who had middle child syndrome so

pandora: i wanted a smol from the isle, bc i had no smols from the isle, like nO TRUE REAL 110% SMOLS and i chose pete because first of all, i love the mickey mouse original characters, but also because i thought he would be an interesting character to explore in this universe?? sO YEA

darcy: i wanted charlie heaton as an fc and i had his character of being abrupt and awkward in my mind already, but i once again had no idea where to put him?? iN THE END it was his personality that i was interested in the most. shoutout to nicole for helping me decide on aurora and phillip tho

yazmin: THIS ONE IS WINNIE’S FAULT OK i knew coranza was from elena of avalor and i was like “oh what’s that this looks cool” I FINISH ALL THE EPISODES AND I LOVED ISABEL AND I WAS ON THAT SHIT LIKE LIGHTNING OK

willow: i made the mistake of watching sofia the first, i legit remember posting ‘i have made a terrible mistake’ on the ooc blog but i just?? really wanted a spoiled princess?? aND I LOVE SOFIA THE FIRST SO LIKE ??? FAM

queenie: I WAS WATCHING THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE AND THE MUSE POPPED UP I WAS SHOOK i love detective characters and i had so many ideas?? i had a few stoic characters but none of them were as lonely as queenie really was, and she has this side to her that shows that she’s still just a teenager sO

umbra: I WANTED TO USE BONA FOR THE LONGEST TIME i just had no idea where to put her and then i watched httyd and i love that movie so much ok and i was INFIRES i also love characters who are antisocial but are 110% fine with being that way and umbra is nothing if not that so

ithaca: LI ST E N a snow white child has been in the back of my mind since forever tbh, since around october last year i think?? but there was no space. i just really loved the idea of her being interested in magic and being sorta gloomy and stuff and being this kinda?? middle ground to otto and pompeii?? like they’re both on opposite ends of things and ithaca is just kinda in the middle like “whatever fam”

helix: IT’S NO SECRET THAT I LOVE THE BELDAMS OK and once again if there had been space i probably would have created her a long time ago. i got to thinking about what would have happened to a beldam kid during the time she was alone, all these hypotheticals like “what if they didn’t know what beldams did?? what if they were really sweet and it aLL CHANGED” and thus HELIX

[softpink]

FOB Question Tag

patrick: are you shy? It depends.  I can be if I am having a bad anxiety day,  but on my best days I am pretty forward person.

pete: what advice would you give to your younger self? I would tell my younger self to not be so panicked about my future, there’s so much time left.

andy: what is one thing you'll always fight for? I have a lot of passion for reform of mental health care, especially long term mental health care facilities for the severely mentally ill

joe: are you an optimist or a pessimist? I am dangerously optimistic.

eowyg: say something nasty about your ex. Trains.  That’s all that needs to be said.

ttyyg: what are 5 things that make you angry? 1. My friends being treated poorly, especially by their S/O 2. Being accused of lying when I’m telling the truth 3. Invasions of privacy 4. When people cannot see that their actions are clearly, blatantly wrong/corrupt 5. Republicans

futct: what was your first major success? First?  Oh geez, I don’t know.  I remember feeling VERY accomplished when I taught myself cursive in the first grade, but if we’re talking about successes that matter....I would say becoming a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

ioh: what is your sexuality? Bisexual bby

fad: are you mentally ill? Is water wet?

srar: what was your greatest triumph? Finding peace with the trauma I endured in my early teen years

ab/ap: are you missing anyone? I miss Mike every single fucking day.  I am always thinking of him, wishing he was still here.

release the bats: what's the most reckless thing you've ever done? OH GOD.  Fall semester 2015 was one bad decision after another.  I’m going to say house hop night.  “Dating” a drug dealer when I was uhhhh fourteen was pretty bad too lmao.

bedussey: what's your favorite high? Doing well on tests, because I’m a fucking teacher’s pet at my core and I work very hard in school

if you don't do drugs, which would you be willing to try? I’ve smoked a couple of times, but other than that I don’t particularly want to do any “real” drugs.  My body already is barely functioning, I don’t need to be adding insult to injury.  I’m also just realizing now that the last question was probably about highs from substance abuse, not just like.....getting high on life. Why am I like this

saturday: who is your best friend? Kathryn, going on eighteen years strong

grand theft autumn: do you have a secret crush? Nah, it’s no secret that I’m in love with Michael

sugar, we're goin' down: have you ever been in a physical fight? did you win? I’ve never been in a physical fight, unless y’all count sparring matches, which I don’t

dance, dance: when you go to parties, are you more of a wallflower, or the center of attention? Something in between?  The only parties I go to are ones with my close friends, where I am comfortable with everyone.

16 candles: do you believe in the paranormal? Oh hell yeah

thnks fr th mmrs: what's your favorite animal? I love bichons and otters

this ain't a scene, it's an arms race: who intimidates you the most? Master A. Chong, that man is so intimidating

what a catch, donnie: what is your greatest insecurity? My skin

i don't care: what's the craziest thing you've ever seen in public? A whole shelving unit of cd’s at my library fall over on a toddler (the child was okay)

america's suitehearts: create an alter ego for yourself Curly red hair, living in Manhattan and working as a curator at The Frick Collection.  I would have a lifestyle blog, and would be going to Columbia for my PhD.

the youngblood chronicles: what's the worst injury you've ever had? The sub ovarian hematoma I had in January, I never want to feel that kind of pain ever again

uma thurman: can you dance? I am very bad at dancing, but I don’t let it stop me

american beauty/american psycho: what's your favorite movie? Silver Linings Playbook

irresistible: what are you most addicted to? Putting way too much on my plate.  I love having shit to do, and I get such a rush when I get all of those things done.

soul punk: do you play instruments? how many? which ones? I played marimba and flute in high school!

the black cards: how many people have you slept with? if you're uncomfortable answering, how many have you kissed? I’m going to go with kissed and the answer is a lot because I love kisses

the damned things: how diverse is your music taste? It’s all over the place.  My spotify daily mixes usually cover a wide spectrum.

clandestine: if you were a cartoon character, what outfit would you be drawn in? Black leggings, over sized tshirt or a long tunic type top, knee high lace up boots, hair always in a top knot or ponytail

gray: have you ever been suicidal? :-)

fall out toy works: are you an artist? I love to write and draw, but I wouldn’t say I’m an artist

chicago: what is your hometown? Lockport, NY!!

I tag @helloyddam @alextrebekofficial @lookingfor-theupsides !

[omegalomania]

some kind soul uploaded the full q&a that fall out boy did the other night! here is a highlights reel of things that grabbed me while i was watching for those who don't have time to watch:

they have a rapport with the interviewer and have hung out with him a bunch. patrick says they spent like 30 minutes making fun of couches last they hung out lmao

pete describes working with neal avron as being held like an enchanted forest creature with him standing inches from pete's face and saying "what. are. the songs. about." and pete going "oh my god he's looking into my fucking soul rn"

when asked what their favorite meal is, andy says "mom's spaghetti" and doesn't elaborate, patrick says "sushi" and doesn't elaborate. pete says that he's like the joker and he's a simple man and today he had a full english breakfast and he didn't know what to do with half the stuff that showed up.

pete talks about discussing the name of "the beatles" with elliot ingham (their photographer) and says he finally understood that their name was a pun. he says about this "i'm not the sharpest tool in the shed" and doesn't realize he's referencing a meme. the crowd immediately fills him in that it's a lyric by smash mouth. andy clowns on him for this right after: "he's NOT the sharpest tool in the shed"

the host says that pete seems very intellectual. pete says "i PROMISE you that's not true."

when asked about formative musical influences andy and patrick both cite familiar names (andy namedrops drummers for bands like slayer and metallica, patrick says his dad being a folk singer was a huge influence and the 1989 danny elfman batman score). pete says joy division but says he's a visual person and most of his influences are movies.

there's a moment where patrick and pete banter and pete points at the host and says "he just told me i'm smart, i'm trying to live up to it!!" and patrick says in this very small high pitched voice "please be nice to pete!"

anyway pete says his biggest influences are "all the twilight movies except for the one where they introduce [i have no idea what he says here because the crowd promptly goes apeshit]" and also lego batman.

for newer artists patrick says he really likes the new zulu record and the new incendiary song. he says he also likes MSPAINT, alvvays, and another band i couldn't catch the name of

pete says he likes all of patrick's recommendations and says he also likes games we play. andy doesn't give any artists but says patrick gave a "great list" because he's VERY jet-lagged. he's keeping it together as best as he can tho lmao

when asked about if they would ever do a fashion runway show like they did in 2013, patrick says he was embarrassingly short for the whole thing. "i'm at like, bellybutton level." so he says he doubts they would ever be invited back to do something similar "unless they want a bunch of hobbits"

someone asks about producing and patrick gets really in depth with what producing is like and uses "from under the cork tree" as an example - "nobody puts baby in the corner" was barely adjusted from demo form but "sugar we're goin down" had totally different verses at first until they got better direction from the producer.

when asked about what their favorite video to film was, pete says youngblood chronicles WASN'T a lot of fun to make because it was like 9 months with fake blood in your hair and clothes that haven't been washed oNCE. he also didn't love doing the prosthetics for "love from the other side"

the host asks if they've seen the last of us and pete says yes but points at andy and says "he hasn't seen the last episode though so no spoilers!!!" which i thought was very sweet. he then follows that up with "just watch the fuckin episode so we can talk about it!"

patrick and andy said they shot a music video recently that was a "blast" but it's not out yet. pete calls it "very fun, very funny." the crowd starts cheering and patrick hastily says "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT! you're under NO obligation to like it! but if you do then that's good :)"

patrick says one of the best parts of being in a band is that they all have imposter syndrome but in different ways so they can build up each other's ideas even if they don't believe in their own.....

pete's very nervous about the lyrics to this album cause he's not sure they'll be relatable since he has a lot of "insane fears day to day about not existing." he went to a lot of places that were terrifying to him and he was like "should i talk about this to my therapist" but his therapist said "put this in your lyrics"

"heaven, iowa" was the song that took the longest to come together on this record. this is followed by a rly long anecdote from patrick that im putting in another post cause it honestly made me howl.

when asked about who they'd most like to collaborate with, andy without hesitation says "ourselves" and nothing else. pete says he wanted a kid cudi feature on the album but it didn't work out since he was either busy or ghosted them fldjflkdf

when asked what song are they tired of playing that they can't cut from the setlist and they DON'T want to answer. patrick says some songs have really high notes that are demanding physically for him but that's as specific as he gets lol

pete's like "well we've got this punk song we end all our shows with from one of our earlier albums and it gets very chaotic and sometimes it's a bit of a fancy crowd of people who are like 'i like centuries, i like some of their other songs....i write sins...' and before we start the song i'm like. oh god this is gonna be bad."

when asked about the songwriting process, patrick says: "pete sends me lyrics, i mine them for stuff i like, and....i hate starting answers like this i feel like i've been saying this all MONTH. so i have ADHD - " [crowd fucking goes wild]

when asked about which projects they're proudest of outside of fall out boy, patrick turns to andy and says "andy is very quiet about being in like thirty bands" but andy says he's proud of "all of it"

patrick remarks that he's heard some love for soul punk but is also super grateful he gets to do film and tv scoring now too! he says he likes that when he's talking to people and they ask what he does and if they don't know bands or anything he can say he likes scoring for film and tv and their eyes glaze over and there are no follow-up questions LMAO??

pete is proudest of the bands on his record label!

for favorite songs on the new record, patrick says he likes "what a time to be alive" and says the lyrics are "so tremendously pete"

pete likes "baby annihilation"

when asked about the most difficult song to play live, patrick said headfirst slide wasn't really that difficult even though he expected it to be. he says a lot of songs on mania were very challenging to play live, like young and menace. pete says "what a catch, donnie" was very hard for his "little brain" to play

at the end pete shouts out the host for being fantastic since they've hung out like 3 times now and he thinks he's a great dude to hang out with. andy inexplicably follows this up with "you look like a DAMN fine cup of coffee" and doesn't elaborate but patrick thinks that's his way of saying thank you too

[flauntpage]

Ranking Every NFL Team's Super Bowl Chances

With eight weeks of the 2017 NFL season in the books (we all know the Chiefs are beating the Broncos on Monday night so we can do this now), it's time to take stock of each team's Super Bowl chances. You're probably saying, "That's silly, because not all 32 teams have a chance at a Super Bowl."

You're right, but those teams are great for the purpose of making jokes.

Let's get right into it, because 32 is a lot of teams.

32. San Francisco 49ers (0-8) — lmao

31. Cleveland Browns (0-8) — lol

30. New York Giants (1-6) — OK, so maybe doing this with all 32 teams was a little ambitious. The good news is the New England Patriots are looking like the favorites to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, and everyone knows Tom Brady can't beat Eli Manning in a Super Bowl. The bad news is the only time we're seeing Odell Beckham in a Super Bowl is in that painful ad with the Silicon Valley guy who mixes up sports terminology at the press conference like a TOTAL NERD, lol learn sports, nerd!

29. Indianapolis Colts (2-6) — What if the reason Andrew Luck hasn't played this season is because he's undergoing surgery and treatment that will allow him to become Wolverine? The reports surrounding Luck's "injury" have been odd, with the story changing every couple weeks. Even his name—Luck—would be a cool X-Men name. The Colts will be a tough out in January if their quarterback can't be tackled by regular humans.

28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-5) — When you combine a former Florida State quarterback with a former Jacksonville Jaguars offensive coordinator, you should just be happy to have the 28th-best team in the NFL.

27. Oakland Raiders (3-5) — Just move this stupid franchise to the moon already. In hindsight, a team coming off a breakout season signing a guy who had retired for a year just because he's from the area was an odd choice. And, I mean, Marshawn Lynch is clearly his own guy, so him running on the field to fight some dudes mid-game does, in hindsight, seem inevitable. We should have known the Raiders would screw this up.

26. New York Jets (3-5) — The way I see it, the Jets may have the best chance of winning the Super Bowl, because these are the Jets, and whatever they want to do, the opposite happens. Since they're trying to tank, finishing 9-7 and winning the Super Bowl has about an 80 percent chance of happening. They're the Cleveland Indians in Major League except Rachel Phelps was a much more sympathetic owner. Who wouldn't rather live in Miami than Cleveland?

25. Los Angeles Chargers (3-5) — Prove to me the Chargers weren't trying to lose to the Patriots on Sunday. When teams shave points, usually they try to hide it, but Philip Rivers fumbling with no contact and a guy running backward 15 yards to take a safety is a little too obvious. The Chargers don't want to win, so I won't raise the hopes of the 800 people in Los Angeles who care about them.

24. Chicago Bears (3-5) — Every team in the league has three wins, FYI. Mitch Trubisky completed 43 percent of his passes Sunday against the Saints, which shows why the Bears only allowed him to throw seven passes two weeks ago. An NFL quarterback completing 43 percent of passes against the Saints would be like an NBA player shooting 2-of-19 against a high school team. It's too bad someone like Deshaun Watson wasn't available at the draft when the Bears… [looks back at draft order] oh, whoops.

23. Cincinnati Bengals (3-4) — Say it out loud: "Andy Dalton, Super Bowl champion." Yeah, never gonna happen.

22. Arizona Cardinals (3-4) — If David Johnson returns in time, yeah, why not the Cardinals? He recently referred to the wrist as a "complicated limb," which tells me he's taking advantage of the painkillers. "Bro, ever think about wrists? They're like… complicated, man." If Carson Palmer is upright, weirder things have happened.

21. Washington Sports Franchise (3-4) — Bob Kraft is a buddy of Vlad Putin, but doesn't he feel miscast as owner of the sport's most hated franchise? Wouldn't Dan Snyder make more sense with the Patriots? Sadly, Snyder is an inept billionaire with a barely functioning franchise and a quarterback taking his money one mediocre year at a time. Washington's season died Sunday against Dallas, but take comfort in knowing the team will win just enough games so they won't be able to draft a franchise quarterback after Cousins leaves in the off-season.

20. Houston Texans (3-4) — Deshaun Watson might be the most talented rookie quarterback in modern NFL history, and you just know Bill O'Brien will screw it up. After his defense had shown for an entire half it was incapable of stopping the Seahawks on Sunday, he ran it three straight times, punted, and watched Russell Wilson deliver a near instantaneous death blow. When Watson wins a Super Bowl, it won't be with O'Brien clenching on the sideline in a big game.

19. Detroit Lions (3-4) — It's the Super Bowl. Lions down five. Fourth and goal. Two seconds remaining. Matthew Stafford rolls right, time expires, he throws and…Eric Ebron! Touchdown! No time left! The Lions have—hang on. Officials are gathering in the end zone. "Due to the pass being caught with no time left, the touchdown is only worth 4.5 points. Therefore, by rule, which was just invented before the play in secret in the league office, the game is over, Lions lose." The following day, the NFL will apologize for not allowing the Lions to kick the winning extra point but won't take the title away from the Patriots. I guess what I'm saying is, the Lions, no matter what, will find a way to not win the Super Bowl.

18. Denver Broncos (3-3) — You lose at home to the Giants by 13 points, I don't understand why you even show up for the rest of your games.

17. Baltimore Ravens (4-4) — The Ravens are the NFL's ideal picture of mediocrity. A quarterback that's just OK enough, a defense that'll do just enough to win a couple games, and boom, you're 8-8 at the end of the year. This will be the state of the Ravens for two decades as punishment for years of making us watch Ray Lewis dance.

16. Dallas Cowboys (4-3) — If Ezekiel Elliott's arbitrator is based in Texas and has him in fantasy football, sure, maybe he plays the whole season and the Cowboys can do it. There's no harder team to read, but if there's one thing I know about sports justice, it's that Elliott won't face any discipline until the 2021 season, when his suspension is reduced to three preseason games.

15. Tennessee Titans (4-3) — They have two very good running backs, a pretty good quarterback, a decent group of wide receivers, and a defense that's…clearly the weak link. But really, what makes the Titans different from last year's Falcons? Fine, Eric Decker isn't Julio Jones and Rishard Matthews isn't Mohammed Sanu, and…OK, fine, forget it. I almost talked myself into it.

14. Miami Dolphins (4-3) — How in the name of sweet baby Jesus has this team won more games than it has lost? I'm scrolling up from the bottom of the NFL standings as I write this, and when I saw the Dolphins here at 4-3, I did that blinking guy GIF everyone on Twitter loves. The Dolphins team on Ballers coached by Peter Berg and GM'd by Dulé Hill has a better chance of winning it all.

13. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-3) — Blake Bortles, you just won the Super Bowl, where are you going? "I'm going to Dorney Park!" No, Blake, the other amusement park. "I'm going to Busch Gardens!" No, man, forget it. If the Jags are going all the way, it's via their defense, but I think it's fun to imagine Bortles doing all he can to muck it up along the way, then lying to him that he's MVP just so you can get him to say into a cellphone camera, "I'm going to Six Flags Great Adventure!" That's viral content, my friends.

12. Green Bay Packers (4-3) — Nope. I'm sorry. The NFC North is too tough for the Packers to survive the rest of the regular season without Aaron Rodgers. What's truly torturous for fans is how many commercials that have Rodgers and injured Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. Every commercial break, you're reminded that your favorite team's season is over because the best player was broken in two. There should be a rule that if an NFL guy is out for the year, he gets replaced by his backup in any national ad campaign. Brett Hundley gets all the State Farm ads the final nine weeks. Roger Lewis Jr. gets all the Verizon ads. Sorry, but it's now in the CBA.

11. Atlanta Falcons (4-3) — The Falcons' hangover isn't a 22-year-old's hangover, where you're slightly groggy the next day but you can still attend your CrossFit Sauna Expert Master class at 6 AM; this is a 39-year-old hangover where you Google "can you die from a hangover" from your bed at 7 PM the next day. I still think if the Falcons can make themselves puke one more time before the stretch run, the Falcons can get back to the Super Bowl.

10. Carolina Panthers (5-3) — If the Dolphins are the league's worst 4-3 team, the Panthers are the league's worst 5-3 team. Cam Newton has nine touchdowns and ten interceptions in eight games and the Panthers are headed toward the playoffs because football is a crapshoot like no other sport, and players don't matter, for we are all part of a human experiment known as life where chaos and randomness rule us despite our best efforts to seek control. Eat at Arby's.

9. Seattle Seahawks (5-2) — They can't run the ball and the defense is sort of old, but you have to respect the championship pedigree. You get the sense the Seahawks are that college graduate taking a year off to "find themselves" and they'll either be better off for the journey or they'll still have zero offensive line when it's over and won't be able to find a job in a saturated marketplace when they return home. I'm mixing metaphors there but you get my point. If Sunday showed us anything, it's that when Pete Carroll, a good coach, gets in a close game with a bad coach like Bill O'Brien, he'll find a way to win, and fortunately for Seattle there are more bad coaches than good coaches in the NFL.

8. New Orleans Saints (5-2) — The Saints are Steelers South. Only instead of defense, the Saints offense has looked incredible against mostly slop. They've won five straight against the Panthers, the Dolphins, the Lions, the Rodgers-less Packers, and the Bears. There's maybe one impressive win in there. Can you really count on the Saints to shut down a really good offense? Wait, does anyone have a good offense besides the Saints? My god, they are going 14-2, aren't they? This could happen.

7. Los Angeles Rams (5-2) — It's not going to happen, but the idea of a disheveled Jeff Fisher alone in a shack watching what is mostly the same roster he had last season continue to advance in the playoffs while he mutters "7-9…7-9" to himself is a fun image. Fisher will start a Buzzfeed account and start writing things like "16 Ways Millennials Are Ruining Jeff Fisher's Life" that will just be GIFs of Sean McVay.

6. Kansas City Chiefs (5-2) — Say hello to our best hope of beating the Patriots, which, oh well, maybe next year the Patriots won't get to the Super Bowl. Imagine a superhero movie with the worst possible villain, only instead of the Avengers or Batman, the villain has to defeat Paul Blart. That's the Chiefs. The only way the Chiefs win that matchup is if our world is a feel-good comedy and not film noir directed by Christopher Nolan. Based on recent evidence in this world, what do you think happens in a Chiefs-Patriots AFC title game? Yeah, me too.

5. Buffalo Bills (5-2) — Nothing would be funnier than the Bills beating the Patriots in the playoffs. It would be the greatest 1980s movie ever where the nerd finally gets the best of the bully. Tyrod Taylor dropping 40 on Tom Brady in Foxboro would be the Lucas/Karate Kid mashup Bill Simmons wishes he sold to a movie studio ten years ago. But this is reality, and what's more likely is LeSean McCoy tearing his ACL the Friday before the game and Rob Gronkowski somehow growing a foot taller at halftime and posting 300 yards in the second half.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) — Yeah, the Steelers have the second-best defense, but they've compiled these numbers against the Browns, the Vikings, the Bears, the Ravens, the Jaguars, the Chiefs, the Bengals, and the Lions. Outside of the Chiefs, that's just pure dreck. But there's more dreck on the schedule, so the Steelers are practically a lock to make the playoffs, which seems nuts when you consider that two weeks ago when they lost to the Jaguars you wondered if Ben Roethlisberger would retire mid-season. This league stinks.

3. Minnesota Vikings (6-2) — No. This is a glitch in the Matrix. Instead of two cats, it's Case Keenum and Sam Bradford looking exactly the same in everything they do. The difference this year is the Packers are toast without Rodgers so the NFC North is there for the taking. It's not that Vikings are bad, but I don't want to listen to people talk about how good they are. They're basically a Netflix show.

2. Philadelphia Eagles (7-1) — It's pretty tough right now for a certain segment of the U.S. population—the Eagles and the Yankees are getting really good again at the same time. And both will be really good for a long time. It's heartbreaking. There's no reason the Eagles can't win a Super Bowl this year, other than the fact they are the Eagles and they always find a way to crap their pants. You can take the Andy Reid out of Philadelphia but you can't take the Philadelphia out of Andy Reid. Or something. Fuck the Eagles, man.

1. New England Patriots (6-2) — There's no better evidence that we are living in a computer simulation run by a vindictive sociopath than the existence of the Patriots. Their idiot quarterback is 100 years old but plays like he's 28. The team cheats but nobody cares. The coach writes love letters to Donald Trump. The Pats could have and perhaps should have lost their past four games but, of course, they won them all. This team has no business still being Super Bowl favorites but it's time we just accept that this is our reality until Morpheus finds us and frees our minds. Congrats to the Patriots on another Super Bowl win.

Ranking Every NFL Team's Super Bowl Chances published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

Ranking Every NFL Team’s Super Bowl Chances

With eight weeks of the 2017 NFL season in the books (we all know the Chiefs are beating the Broncos on Monday night so we can do this now), it’s time to take stock of each team’s Super Bowl chances. You’re probably saying, “That’s silly, because not all 32 teams have a chance at a Super Bowl.”

You’re right, but those teams are great for the purpose of making jokes.

Let’s get right into it, because 32 is a lot of teams.

32. San Francisco 49ers (0-8) — lmao

31. Cleveland Browns (0-8) — lol

30. New York Giants (1-6) — OK, so maybe doing this with all 32 teams was a little ambitious. The good news is the New England Patriots are looking like the favorites to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, and everyone knows Tom Brady can’t beat Eli Manning in a Super Bowl. The bad news is the only time we’re seeing Odell Beckham in a Super Bowl is in that painful ad with the Silicon Valley guy who mixes up sports terminology at the press conference like a TOTAL NERD, lol learn sports, nerd!

29. Indianapolis Colts (2-6) — What if the reason Andrew Luck hasn’t played this season is because he’s undergoing surgery and treatment that will allow him to become Wolverine? The reports surrounding Luck’s “injury” have been odd, with the story changing every couple weeks. Even his name—Luck—would be a cool X-Men name. The Colts will be a tough out in January if their quarterback can’t be tackled by regular humans.

28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-5) — When you combine a former Florida State quarterback with a former Jacksonville Jaguars offensive coordinator, you should just be happy to have the 28th-best team in the NFL.

27. Oakland Raiders (3-5) — Just move this stupid franchise to the moon already. In hindsight, a team coming off a breakout season signing a guy who had retired for a year just because he’s from the area was an odd choice. And, I mean, Marshawn Lynch is clearly his own guy, so him running on the field to fight some dudes mid-game does, in hindsight, seem inevitable. We should have known the Raiders would screw this up.

26. New York Jets (3-5) — The way I see it, the Jets may have the best chance of winning the Super Bowl, because these are the Jets, and whatever they want to do, the opposite happens. Since they’re trying to tank, finishing 9-7 and winning the Super Bowl has about an 80 percent chance of happening. They’re the Cleveland Indians in Major League except Rachel Phelps was a much more sympathetic owner. Who wouldn’t rather live in Miami than Cleveland?

25. Los Angeles Chargers (3-5) — Prove to me the Chargers weren’t trying to lose to the Patriots on Sunday. When teams shave points, usually they try to hide it, but Philip Rivers fumbling with no contact and a guy running backward 15 yards to take a safety is a little too obvious. The Chargers don’t want to win, so I won’t raise the hopes of the 800 people in Los Angeles who care about them.

24. Chicago Bears (3-5) — Every team in the league has three wins, FYI. Mitch Trubisky completed 43 percent of his passes Sunday against the Saints, which shows why the Bears only allowed him to throw seven passes two weeks ago. An NFL quarterback completing 43 percent of passes against the Saints would be like an NBA player shooting 2-of-19 against a high school team. It’s too bad someone like Deshaun Watson wasn’t available at the draft when the Bears… [looks back at draft order] oh, whoops.

23. Cincinnati Bengals (3-4) — Say it out loud: “Andy Dalton, Super Bowl champion.” Yeah, never gonna happen.

22. Arizona Cardinals (3-4) — If David Johnson returns in time, yeah, why not the Cardinals? He recently referred to the wrist as a “complicated limb,” which tells me he’s taking advantage of the painkillers. “Bro, ever think about wrists? They’re like… complicated, man.” If Carson Palmer is upright, weirder things have happened.

21. Washington Sports Franchise (3-4) — Bob Kraft is a buddy of Vlad Putin, but doesn’t he feel miscast as owner of the sport’s most hated franchise? Wouldn’t Dan Snyder make more sense with the Patriots? Sadly, Snyder is an inept billionaire with a barely functioning franchise and a quarterback taking his money one mediocre year at a time. Washington’s season died Sunday against Dallas, but take comfort in knowing the team will win just enough games so they won’t be able to draft a franchise quarterback after Cousins leaves in the off-season.

20. Houston Texans (3-4) — Deshaun Watson might be the most talented rookie quarterback in modern NFL history, and you just know Bill O’Brien will screw it up. After his defense had shown for an entire half it was incapable of stopping the Seahawks on Sunday, he ran it three straight times, punted, and watched Russell Wilson deliver a near instantaneous death blow. When Watson wins a Super Bowl, it won’t be with O’Brien clenching on the sideline in a big game.

19. Detroit Lions (3-4) — It’s the Super Bowl. Lions down five. Fourth and goal. Two seconds remaining. Matthew Stafford rolls right, time expires, he throws and…Eric Ebron! Touchdown! No time left! The Lions have—hang on. Officials are gathering in the end zone. “Due to the pass being caught with no time left, the touchdown is only worth 4.5 points. Therefore, by rule, which was just invented before the play in secret in the league office, the game is over, Lions lose.” The following day, the NFL will apologize for not allowing the Lions to kick the winning extra point but won’t take the title away from the Patriots. I guess what I’m saying is, the Lions, no matter what, will find a way to not win the Super Bowl.

18. Denver Broncos (3-3) — You lose at home to the Giants by 13 points, I don’t understand why you even show up for the rest of your games.

17. Baltimore Ravens (4-4) — The Ravens are the NFL’s ideal picture of mediocrity. A quarterback that’s just OK enough, a defense that’ll do just enough to win a couple games, and boom, you’re 8-8 at the end of the year. This will be the state of the Ravens for two decades as punishment for years of making us watch Ray Lewis dance.

16. Dallas Cowboys (4-3) — If Ezekiel Elliott’s arbitrator is based in Texas and has him in fantasy football, sure, maybe he plays the whole season and the Cowboys can do it. There’s no harder team to read, but if there’s one thing I know about sports justice, it’s that Elliott won’t face any discipline until the 2021 season, when his suspension is reduced to three preseason games.

15. Tennessee Titans (4-3) — They have two very good running backs, a pretty good quarterback, a decent group of wide receivers, and a defense that’s…clearly the weak link. But really, what makes the Titans different from last year’s Falcons? Fine, Eric Decker isn’t Julio Jones and Rishard Matthews isn’t Mohammed Sanu, and…OK, fine, forget it. I almost talked myself into it.

14. Miami Dolphins (4-3) — How in the name of sweet baby Jesus has this team won more games than it has lost? I’m scrolling up from the bottom of the NFL standings as I write this, and when I saw the Dolphins here at 4-3, I did that blinking guy GIF everyone on Twitter loves. The Dolphins team on Ballers coached by Peter Berg and GM’d by Dulé Hill has a better chance of winning it all.

13. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-3) — Blake Bortles, you just won the Super Bowl, where are you going? “I’m going to Dorney Park!” No, Blake, the other amusement park. “I’m going to Busch Gardens!” No, man, forget it. If the Jags are going all the way, it’s via their defense, but I think it’s fun to imagine Bortles doing all he can to muck it up along the way, then lying to him that he’s MVP just so you can get him to say into a cellphone camera, “I’m going to Six Flags Great Adventure!” That’s viral content, my friends.

12. Green Bay Packers (4-3) — Nope. I’m sorry. The NFC North is too tough for the Packers to survive the rest of the regular season without Aaron Rodgers. What’s truly torturous for fans is how many commercials that have Rodgers and injured Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. Every commercial break, you’re reminded that your favorite team’s season is over because the best player was broken in two. There should be a rule that if an NFL guy is out for the year, he gets replaced by his backup in any national ad campaign. Brett Hundley gets all the State Farm ads the final nine weeks. Roger Lewis Jr. gets all the Verizon ads. Sorry, but it’s now in the CBA.

11. Atlanta Falcons (4-3) — The Falcons’ hangover isn’t a 22-year-old’s hangover, where you’re slightly groggy the next day but you can still attend your CrossFit Sauna Expert Master class at 6 AM; this is a 39-year-old hangover where you Google “can you die from a hangover” from your bed at 7 PM the next day. I still think if the Falcons can make themselves puke one more time before the stretch run, the Falcons can get back to the Super Bowl.

10. Carolina Panthers (5-3) — If the Dolphins are the league’s worst 4-3 team, the Panthers are the league’s worst 5-3 team. Cam Newton has nine touchdowns and ten interceptions in eight games and the Panthers are headed toward the playoffs because football is a crapshoot like no other sport, and players don’t matter, for we are all part of a human experiment known as life where chaos and randomness rule us despite our best efforts to seek control. Eat at Arby’s.

9. Seattle Seahawks (5-2) — They can’t run the ball and the defense is sort of old, but you have to respect the championship pedigree. You get the sense the Seahawks are that college graduate taking a year off to “find themselves” and they’ll either be better off for the journey or they’ll still have zero offensive line when it’s over and won’t be able to find a job in a saturated marketplace when they return home. I’m mixing metaphors there but you get my point. If Sunday showed us anything, it’s that when Pete Carroll, a good coach, gets in a close game with a bad coach like Bill O’Brien, he’ll find a way to win, and fortunately for Seattle there are more bad coaches than good coaches in the NFL.

8. New Orleans Saints (5-2) — The Saints are Steelers South. Only instead of defense, the Saints offense has looked incredible against mostly slop. They’ve won five straight against the Panthers, the Dolphins, the Lions, the Rodgers-less Packers, and the Bears. There’s maybe one impressive win in there. Can you really count on the Saints to shut down a really good offense? Wait, does anyone have a good offense besides the Saints? My god, they are going 14-2, aren’t they? This could happen.

7. Los Angeles Rams (5-2) — It’s not going to happen, but the idea of a disheveled Jeff Fisher alone in a shack watching what is mostly the same roster he had last season continue to advance in the playoffs while he mutters “7-9…7-9” to himself is a fun image. Fisher will start a Buzzfeed account and start writing things like “16 Ways Millennials Are Ruining Jeff Fisher’s Life” that will just be GIFs of Sean McVay.

6. Kansas City Chiefs (5-2) — Say hello to our best hope of beating the Patriots, which, oh well, maybe next year the Patriots won’t get to the Super Bowl. Imagine a superhero movie with the worst possible villain, only instead of the Avengers or Batman, the villain has to defeat Paul Blart. That’s the Chiefs. The only way the Chiefs win that matchup is if our world is a feel-good comedy and not film noir directed by Christopher Nolan. Based on recent evidence in this world, what do you think happens in a Chiefs-Patriots AFC title game? Yeah, me too.

5. Buffalo Bills (5-2) — Nothing would be funnier than the Bills beating the Patriots in the playoffs. It would be the greatest 1980s movie ever where the nerd finally gets the best of the bully. Tyrod Taylor dropping 40 on Tom Brady in Foxboro would be the Lucas/Karate Kid mashup Bill Simmons wishes he sold to a movie studio ten years ago. But this is reality, and what’s more likely is LeSean McCoy tearing his ACL the Friday before the game and Rob Gronkowski somehow growing a foot taller at halftime and posting 300 yards in the second half.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) — Yeah, the Steelers have the second-best defense, but they’ve compiled these numbers against the Browns, the Vikings, the Bears, the Ravens, the Jaguars, the Chiefs, the Bengals, and the Lions. Outside of the Chiefs, that’s just pure dreck. But there’s more dreck on the schedule, so the Steelers are practically a lock to make the playoffs, which seems nuts when you consider that two weeks ago when they lost to the Jaguars you wondered if Ben Roethlisberger would retire mid-season. This league stinks.

3. Minnesota Vikings (6-2) — No. This is a glitch in the Matrix. Instead of two cats, it’s Case Keenum and Sam Bradford looking exactly the same in everything they do. The difference this year is the Packers are toast without Rodgers so the NFC North is there for the taking. It’s not that Vikings are bad, but I don’t want to listen to people talk about how good they are. They’re basically a Netflix show.

2. Philadelphia Eagles (7-1) — It’s pretty tough right now for a certain segment of the U.S. population—the Eagles and the Yankees are getting really good again at the same time. And both will be really good for a long time. It’s heartbreaking. There’s no reason the Eagles can’t win a Super Bowl this year, other than the fact they are the Eagles and they always find a way to crap their pants. You can take the Andy Reid out of Philadelphia but you can’t take the Philadelphia out of Andy Reid. Or something. Fuck the Eagles, man.

1. New England Patriots (6-2) — There’s no better evidence that we are living in a computer simulation run by a vindictive sociopath than the existence of the Patriots. Their idiot quarterback is 100 years old but plays like he’s 28. The team cheats but nobody cares. The coach writes love letters to Donald Trump. The Pats could have and perhaps should have lost their past four games but, of course, they won them all. This team has no business still being Super Bowl favorites but it’s time we just accept that this is our reality until Morpheus finds us and frees our minds. Congrats to the Patriots on another Super Bowl win.

Ranking Every NFL Team’s Super Bowl Chances syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

[saturnianrhythm]

questions i felt like answering

answering for both my long-standing deity kintype, and my relatively new one

1. What are you (prophet, God, angel, etc)? two deities

2. What or Who do you represent? stargod: travel, travelers, maps, direction, balance, polaris, ursa minor, and i am the prince of and main representative for every star and constellation feargod: fear, worry, insomnia, anxiety, nightmares, illness, and very minor control over fire and blood (when either is involved with ill will)

3. What do you look like? stargod: i had two forms - a literal star core, and my humanoid form had short wavy silver hair, glowing light blue/white eyes, near-alabaster skin, and raven-black wings with a blue sheen and silver accents. while humanoid, i wore a shimmering silver laurel wreath with a light-as-feathers light blue himation over a chiton feargod: im legit not sure about this one but i think i was a shadow monster a lot

4. Colors/animals/objects associated with you? stargod: silver, sky blue, dark blue, ravens, maps, scales feargod: black, red, white, wolves, claws, bones, teeth, blood, darkness

5. What are you trying to achieve? i dont fully understand this?? cause those kintypes are past lives, i dont really have control over those things anymore...but i guess im trying to be as kind as stargod, and as fearless as feargod

6. What band/artist gives you divine feelings? its moreso songs, not simply the people behind them

7. (for Prophets) How do you interpret messages?

8. Do you have any other limbs that your human self doesn’t? (Horns, wings, etc)? stargod had feather wings on his back, while feargod had sharper teeth and claws, maybe bat-like wings

9. (for Gods) What do you like as offerings? stargod: parts of meals thrown into the fire usually, stuff like moonwater or sunwater, pieces of valuables if you’re a devotee, uhh...idk much else for them but i think a prayer you could do was like, burn a piece of a map with your destination in mind, and it’d give me the hint to help out. feargod: blood (obviously), animal sacrifice (prey only), sometimes human sacrifice (those who have done a considerable amount of wrong) if you wanted my help during war, stolen things i think, bones/teeth, and red or black things (roses, fabric, stained paper, etc). burning a valuable/cherished item was also a direct prayer to me for personal protection in things like love or family matters (yea i was a dick in my rites but my moms the love goddess for petes sake, i govern worries and if you’re desperate and innocent enough i got your back) 10. Why are you here on Earth right now? Andy (my tarot deck) says this; “to follow my intuition and dreams, to face my fears, and change.” 11. Do you have powers? In those lives? yea. I don’t have the power I used to as a human with limited intuitive direction. 12. What element relates to you? stargod - water and fire (thanks to mom and dad) feargod - fire i guess? 13. Is there something (a book, movie, myth) that is similar to you? or reminds you of yourself? i actually cant think of anything for stargod! but feargod is literally Phobos, i just call him feargod to match stargod, whose name i dont remember. 14. How old are you? i dont have definite ages for either of them stargod was born after human’s creation by Helios and Selene in order to look after them and guide them, after the whole Prometheus thing feargod was born somewhere after the time Ares and Aphrodite got together, but where that is in relation to human history in that universe is unknown as of right now 15. Do you have dominion over anything? this was technically answered with #2 16. Do you know any of your mythology? ahhh i take most of the Official Greek God History (TM) with a grain of salt cause i dont believe most of it is canon for me,,,which rly sucks for this life cause i still worship Greek Gods and they had different history here but it’s hard to wrap my head around,, (Helios and Selene being siblings??? what??????) 17. Do you write poetry, paint, to express your divinity? if not, do you do something else? !!! i dont usually! I want to but I dont have materials to paint or the right words for poetry but i really wanna! I’ve drawn a few memories tho! usually I just reblog kin pics, or vent about memories to anyone who will listen. 18. (for Prophets, angels) do you know who your God is? 19. When and how did you know you were divine? hooooooooo shit.....i dont remember when i realized i was the stargod?? being my first divine kintype...i think i was just joking like “lmao if i was divinekin i’d probs be a god of stars or some shit smh” but then i couldnt get it outta my mind...next thing i know i’m waist-deep in memories and sobbing. 20. Any advice for those unsure/new to their divinity? honestly, if you’re questioning being divine in a previous life, specifically a god, more often than not it’s something you either think about from time to time or something you’re super passionate about...it doesn’t even really have to be something you know a lot about or do a lot or are really good at. 21. What are your views on humans? stargod: oh man...this is actually very conflicting...when he was born he saw humans like a mother sees their newborn child. as time wore on they were like my kids, but in a more casual sense. when shit went down leading up to my death though? horrid creatures. deserving of the worst pains. rot. burn. die. ....i was not ok... feargod: pretty much how dying-stargod felt. vermin, disgusting vile things, all of them are dead to me anyways....but the thing is, unlike my twin brother, i had a very soft spot for innocence like young kids, babies, kind-hearted people...yea. if someone killed an innocent person i got pissed and probably considered cursing their bloodline. 22. What would your place of worship look like? stargod was mostly privately worshiped, so i only had portable altars, maybe some good-luck-charm for more traveller-oriented places.....feargod tho? entire temples. granted, they’re small, and meant mostly for warriors, but they’re there. 23. Do you know the rules of your afterlife (if there are any)? stargod was directly involved with the human afterlife...or rather, my assistants were, while i oversaw their actions and guided lost souls. my assistants were responsible for judging and placing souls passing through the afterlife. i dont know what its like being a ghost from that world, but to me everyone just looked like a human, though ghosts were a bit greyed out?

24. What’s your most and least favorite thing about being divine? from both lives, being a god is super rewarding, but it’s pretty tedious. on one hand, you have people devoted to you, willing to push on in your name, and you can see the hope in everyone’s hearts and intention. on the other, it’s pretty demanding work - you have to make sure you give the right commands or direction, help around in the right places, and kill as little humans as possible. you’re born with considerable amount of power, and sometimes it can get to a god’s head, and we’re all also about as emotional as humans, so it can get pretty sticky... 25. What does your Home look like? as stargod, my home was a giant star castle. my room was in the center and each spike led to different rooms. there was no up or down but the walls were beautiful, like that aerogel stuff, if it could glow. feargod didn’t have a home, i dont think? he could take residence with Aphrodite or Ares, but gods dont really need sleep, so he rarely did so. 26. Other than yourself, who do you think is a really cool divine being? personally, stargod was on good terms with almost everyone. i think sometimes he held disdain towards Zeus or other weather gods, but it wasn’t often or really strong. Mostly he just kept to himself. feargod has special feelings in his heart for his parents and his twin, Deimos. Siblings? not so much. Most of his siblings were love gods, so he didn’t very much enjoy their presence. nowadays i totally do tho! 27. Does your divinity affect your day to day life? How? not really...it just kinda gives me things to look back on. i mean, in this life im not good at direction or self-control, and i’m not that scary. i’m not terribly upset over those things though. 28. (for Angels) if you have wings, what do they look like, how big are they, how many, and do they serve any other purpose besides flying? 29. Is there a place on earth that reminds you of Home? being very far away from big or moderate cities at night helps for stargod...id rather not think about feargod though :/ 30. What is your favorite post on the actuallydivine tag? i havent looked at that tag in a long time so i cant remember >_<

[vertigoambrosia]

shotgun is xxtra big so maybe it will help me deal with my woes

...it’s not actually that much longer than a usual one who probably not

awww does old man andy have somethign wrong with his back??

WHEN I TURN 30 SOMEDAY lmaoooo

hahahahaha owned

and for the first time in a while, cmj was happy :D

i’m sad emil is still face because frankfurt had some real great hate for him

pretty sure they did the insulting acrostic signs

god i am so glad these guys are still friends

ilja: if i’m to be a good parent i need a bit of chill!

god they’re so cute

look at ilja and robert smiling at each other

cerberus: hugs not drugs but the hugs are suplexes

uh sorry ‘doug williams might retire’ is not actually that compelling for me

IT’S YAY-HIGH

fucking british people mispronouncing shit

yaaaaay maggot is back!

i love how a dude named fucking maggot is part of a prettyboi gimmick team

‘the son of nothing’ is not someone you expect to be obsessed wuth how hot he is

and then here’s rise

omgggg lucky hugging ivan

ivan’s the token average looking person in this match

why do british people say ‘nip up’ instead of ‘kip up’

haha ahura’s lil run

god i hope we get plot segments with pretty bastards

especiallt with rise cause you know pete would easily get riled up by them being annoying

*alan voice*i’m not judging....but most wrestlers choose to wear shoes

what are ivan kiev’s legs

tee hee pete was probably not supposed to fall there

where are the pretty bastards from? crowd definitely seems real into them

ivan you silly boi that was an obvious distraction! youre supposed to be the level headed one

oh i guess this is xxl show because of the amount of matches

this segment just started and it’s already amazing

‘hello human’

*kris wolf voice* i am here to eat sausages and also people! i am hungry!

awww and christian was having such a good day too....

omg melanie’s a suit wearing heel now

jazzy has a point though cmj shouldn’t have allowed mella to just be in the match

that’s an interesting lil plot tidbit though; it makes more sense for melanie to be pissed that she had a lot of the vision for the womens division that hasn’t been acknowledged than the whole ~she jealous`~ stuff

of course, she’s still in the wrong because she does shit like fucking up martina right before the title match

but she’s a heel so that’s how it should be

awwwwww that is actually really super cute of them to do that lil thing for toni

oooo another mystery envelope????

our boys!

hahaha look at these wrestling nerds

tim is so cute

he says progress the british way

he calls everyone sir

tbh i totally forgot cck were in tag league

is this the second or third time lykos has been booked for a wxw show and then had to drop out due to injury?

i would like to thank every wxw fan who flips off heels right to their faces

HAHAHA THAT CHANT

‘breaking news’ ok that doesn’t really work on commentary...there’s definitely a btter way to have conveyed that plot point

though i already saw the annoucement on twitter before i started watching so perhaps i’m just nitpicking

ngl i am not really paying attention

me: i love grapplefuck

me also: this british catch wrestler bores me

huh, interesting that marius won clean

(yeah i really was not paying attention)

omg i had the fan theme stuck in my head for like a day straight it was terrible

ugh tarkan

yeah i bet you like his look, tarkan

lmao tarkan can’t stop talking about himself is he on coke or something

tarkan is such an emotional sadist why does he want to break lucky more

tweeter promo i guess

i mean it wasn’t really bullshit both of you just didn’t get up

i read what this stip is and i’m eager to see how it comes up

also an emotional sadist: jurn

i love how fucking serious fair vs hair is

you will be balded and shamed for life

or at least i guess until your hair grows back

yay tag league still has the music i like

aww poor rise in the warm up

oh man will lucky finally become shotgun champ???

i bet tarkan will interfere though

oh good ringkampf is getting okami

WAIT NO JEFF COBB AND TIM AREN’T GOING TO BE IN THE SAME BLOCK

someone please put these dudes in another singles match

but like, here or progress where they can actually have fun

jay fk would be the worst bodyguards

i was gonna say i guess juvenile x and koray arent a thing anymore but this was all in frankfurt and i’ms ure they weren’t on the progress tour

i love how avalanche goes into crazy mode when ilja is around

a lil sad they didn’t do the cerberus thing, but they are different boys now i guess

ugh i want a front row seat in wxw

unfortunately i’m not even sure if i can go to carat next year -- i don’t quite have the money to spare to buy the hotel/plane tickets and i think all the hotels might be sold out

i remember when i checked a few months ago the tryp was the only one of the three that had rooms and that has probably changed now

also you have to pay for tryp’s wifi if you use over like, 500MB and also apparently it’s slow

which i suppose is less of a problem when id’ only be staying for a few days, but still - wifi is important when you’re traveling

omgggg jay

none of these men will have mercy on you

lmao i typed almost all of that and only now has the match actually started

also i missed a lot of the pre-match brawling did francis die

did andy leave?

aaaa they did the thing!

<3

oh andy deigns to return to the match

these charlatans! triple teaming avalanche!

oooooo andy julian’s getting riles too

you in danger

i will never get tired of that spot where someone jumps at avalanche and just bounces off

jay doing the loser sign with the wrong hand

oh my god ilja a suicide dive might have been less risky than what you were planning

ah i see he was just waiting to use that for later

ooo that looked like julian’s head hiot the ropes

oh nvm he’s back up

yaaaay former dogboys

baby! baby boy

awww lucky

yeah pete and ivan are 100% his parents now

???? baby has something to say???

oh damn we’ve never seen lucky yell like that before!

oh fuck off tarkan

fuck you and your brass knuckles and your goddamn girdle

we are not your friends!

lucky bb let your parents at least be at ringside so these jerks can’t jump you

tarkan is so fucking cold