#would it have changed anything if they'd kissed? probably not but i think they should've done it anyway
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flysafepapi · 4 months ago
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idk if this has been done but you can't tell me im wrong
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obigem · 1 month ago
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She felt Jai's fingers drift and trace her cheek and it sent shivers down her neck as she thought with bated breath, please don't make me wait.
He drew closer, but as his lips approached hers, his head turned clearly veering to the side of her. What was he doing?
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As she felt his breath warm her cheek, she knew what this was. He was going for a peck on the cheek. She could feel her perfect first kiss slip away. She understood why he'd make this choice, he was always so sweet, considerate of her apprehensions. But tonight, she wanted heat.
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Perhaps he sensed her dejection because before his lips landed, he paused just long enough for her to question when it was coming.
And then, all at once, he pulled her toward him by the waist and her hand drew to his shoulder like a magnet and then that magic moment, it happened.
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A long time ago, she used to think about what it would mean to grow up and have a first kiss. They were childish dreams of a prince in a fairytale like setting whisking her away, enchanting her with one simple kiss. She hoped for that, but her very first kiss very much wasn't.
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Since then it's felt like she's been waiting, hoping, perhaps maybe even disillusioned that she could recapture that moment and have that.
She didn't think she could, but Jai, he changed that.
Her heart was set ablaze with fireworks.
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"Wow." She said as that final firework trailed its spark across their sky.
"Wow." Jai said back, not knowing a more complex word to describe what they'd both experienced.
And then Cordie went to him, burrowed herself into his arms till his warmth fully enveloped her.
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"I'm glad it was you." She said in a hush.
"Glad?" Jai tensed a bit in confusion.
"For my first kiss. I always wanted it to be special with someone I cared about, trusted, someone who would treat me so sweetly. I love the fact that it was you all along that I was waiting for."
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"I'm...glad too." Jai said back, almost at a loss for words. His feelings were always so clear. He adored her. She was the most beautiful girl he knew. Of course he was glad to have her, but for her to finally let on that she felt just as much for him, that was everything to him
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They held each other like that, in a moment that should've remained perfect and untouched, but then they both heard a loud crash.
"What was that?" Cordie said as she turned toward the sound.
They didn't see anything or anyone. Except—
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A turned over garbage can from across the street.
It was probably easy for them to assume a rodent had gotten into it and knocked it over. Or perhaps even a strong breeze. Such an unassuming reason for it was all they would accept as to not ruin their perfect moment.
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But from deep within the Landgraab mansion,
there was at least one person who knew better.
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justapoet · 3 months ago
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these roads are changing me (but they all lead back to you)
Athens was impeccable. And, oddly enough, it didn't sting as much as she thought it would, to be there. When they'd gotten out of the train a few moons before, though, Annabeth had hesitated. And Percy noticed, of course, because he had always been more perceptive than people give him credit for. "It’s just..." Annabeth started, and took a deep breath. "What if I ruin the good memories of this city?" Percy took her hand, his fingers warm over hers. "We won't be destroying any memories, Wise Girl," he said, and took her fingers close to his face, pressing a kiss over them. "We'll just be making more. Okay?"
read on Ao3
chapter 1: to those who ask
chapter 2: to whose who wait
chapter 3: to those who gaze
chapter 4: to those who left
chapter 5: to those who went so far away
chapter 5: to those who remain
chapter 6: to those who never saw me
to those who said they would stay
Annabeth's clearer memory of her mother was the earliest memory she remembers ever having.
She was a little girl, four years old at most, and she was smiling widely after her mother, for the first time in forever, probably, took time off her incredibly busy schedule to brush Annabeth's hair and make the hairstyle she had seen on someone's hair on the street and wanted desperately to have — bantu knots, that she couldn't get right no matter how many times her little hands had tried.
It was a wonder when Athena Wisen, great architect and, surprisingly, a mother, had woken her daughter up and offered to try and do the hairstyle she had noticed Annabeth had been struggling with. There was an odd glint to her eyes, something Annabeth could never have noticed in her childish excitement to have her mother suggesting and wanting to spend some time with her, that would only make sense later.
Much later than that day, for Athena had also suggested, after Annabeth's hair was done and the girl was completely in love with her own reflection in the mirror, they would go out and do something together. 'Something', she had used, for the woman didn't quite know what to do with a four year old that depended on her and was delighted to spend time with her alone.
Annabeth didn't think much when her first suggestion to go to an aquarium was accepted without 'buts' and 'whatoevers', her mother simply picking up the car keys and hushing her to the car with a backpack Annabeth hadn't even noticed she was carrying. The bag was stuffed with whatever it was that the girl didn't know, and it stayed in the front seat beside her mother other than the trunk.
The thing she most remembered about that day was the sharks, and the soft disliking of Athena to anything sea-related, apparently. It didn't stop Annabeth from walking around, always pulling her mother along, and asking questions and pointing fingers and laughing and smiling. She should've noticed that her mother didn't once berate her for her childish behavior. She should've noticed that Athena's eyes were cloudy and distant, and that the smile on her face whenever Annabeth squealed in delight was relieved.
Over what, Annabeth would only realize years down the line. That day, though, her mother took her to eat popcorn and bought her cheeseburgers without much of a question, though with a little frown. They walked together along the pier outside the aquarium, and Athena let Annabeth snap a picture with a woman dressed as a princess. She didn't stop the girl's rambling, and didn't try to correct her faulty English when the words were too complicated for her tongue to get it right.
That day, Annabeth's happiest so far, and by a mile, the girl had really thought that, somehow, her mother had come around and they would now be like the girls she saw on TV, those who had a best friend that also happened to be the person who called them 'daughter'.
She should've known better, because that was what her mother always told her whenever she was mistaken. She should've known better, because that smile on her mother's lips was never directed to Annabeth. She should've known better, because she knew her way around town, and she could recognize the streets that led to her father's house.
Athena had said that something important came up, and so Annabeth would have to stay with her father for now because the event didn't allow children. The woman placed the way-too-filled backpack beside Annabeth's confused frame — she should've known better because there were too many things inside that bag for only a while —, patted the top of Annabeth's head — she should've know because her mother's smile had never been that wide —, and rushed to the car, driving off before Helen could open the door and stare at the child that still stared at the street where her mother's car had been a second before.
She stayed in place until Helen's voice was too annoying, inquiring why she was there, where her mother was, and claiming that it wasn't the weekend for her to be there yet, reminding Earth and Skies that Frederick only had to take her in on the last weekend of the month.
She stayed in place until Helen all but led her inside the house, still complaining and yelling for Frederick to come down and see what that was about.
Then, she found the windowsill that would charm the hell of a dreamy child, and found out that she could stare at where her mother's car had vanished from there, as well.
She stayed by the windowsill as the summer breeze blew softly.
She stayed by the windowsill as the air cooled down and it was more comfortable to sit there and watch life happen outside.
She stayed as the green of the leaves swiftly turned orange, brown and yellow.
She stayed as the first snowflakes fell down from the heavy clouds.
She stayed as the mailman waved at her every morning, and as they built a genuine friendship through waves and smiles.
She stayed as her father forgot she was at the house, and her step-mother never asked a question about what she was doing and they left for a family trip.
She stayed as the nights fell, the days rose, the afternoons made the skies the most beautiful miscellaneous of purple, orange, pink and yellows.
She stayed as the clocks went by and her brain created the most absurd excuses as to why her mother hadn't come back yet.
She stayed as her step-mother looked at her as if she wanted her to be anywhere, probably gone with her mother, and not waiting by their windowsill.
She stayed as she realized that she'd wait forever for someone who said they weren't going anywhere.
She stayed.
She stayed.
She stays.
"To those who said they would stay,
I know it's more complicated than I think, because it's about relationships. Even so, I still think it's too simple to have been left behind without any kind of resolution. Maybe it's your fault, maybe it's not; maybe it's not my fault. But I wish it was. It seems easier to resolve when it's like this.
Maybe I stopped in time, because I'm not sure I saw you pass me by. Maybe I lost you in time, and that's why you're no longer here. Maybe I got lost, and that's why I'm alone.
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
Maybe it was, and we just weren't.
I confess that I'm still waiting for a message. I'm still waiting for things to go back to the way they were before, when I was blindly certain that the time we had would be longer. I'm still here because I'm afraid you'll turn up and I'll be gone.
Maybe that's my mistake.
Maybe turning up was going to be your mistake, but it's not. Because you never came back.
You were afraid I would leave and search. I stayed and hoped. And you left so easily in search of something that I didn't even have time to realize it would never be me.
Immutable,
Minerva."
Athens was impeccable.
When her mother talked about her birthplace and namesake so many years ago, Annabeth would dream and daydream about summers spent learning more about buildings and architecture and trying to understand and memorize every myth from the stories she'd hear and read about. She'd ask enough questions to make her mother have a proud glint in her eyes for her kid's curiosity, and then take a notebook and try her best to draw whatever her mind would picture as the temples, the city, the legends.
Now, with much more knowledge about the subjects and the myths and the heroes, Annabeth saw the city with brand new eyes. Hers, this time, and with much more time to make her questions and find her answers — and, oddly enough, it didn't sting as much as she thought it would, to be there.
When they'd gotten out of the train a few moons before, Annabeth had hesitated.
Her feet faltered when taking the next step on Greek grounds, more than terrified about the memories, the fond ones she bore with care and melancholy, turning bitter and making the scars, the ones she spent so long taking care of, open up and leave her pain raw and exposed.
She didn't need that. She didn't want it.
And it was a risk she knew she was taking when they first agreed upon their next destination, both of them knowing well how much that place and the memories attached to it were something she held close to her chest, cherishing the moments she'd shared with her mother before she was nothing more than a bother to the woman. For Percy, it was a happy place, had always been — whenever his father spent a season in Greece, he'd come visit and take a break from the everyday routine. He'd often make video calls, and send pictures, and come back with his shoulders relaxed and a warm look on his face.
Annabeth couldn't help the smallest pang of jealousy coursing through her whenever that happened; and, at the same time, there wasn't a soul in the world who deserved more love than Percy. She loathed feeling that way, especially towards someone she loved so deeply, and felt often like the worst person to ever walk the world. It is human, Annabeth; Sally had told her one day she had caught the girl crying over the feeling she didn't want to feel, to wish and want things for yourself. It doesn't make you love him less. It doesn't mean you don't think he deserves it.
With time, she had learned to cherish the moments she'd had there, anyway — and resent the reasons why she couldn't have them anymore. The reason, perhaps. But she didn't want to live with the resenting anymore. She didn't want that pain to be forever stone-solid, to be one of the neve changing things about herself.
Still, she hesitated.
And Percy noticed, of course, because he had always been more perceptive than people give him credit for. Because he knew her like the back of his hand, and because there wasn't much she could possibly hide from him, after all, after so long learning and figuring each other out.
He stopped in his tracks a few steps ahead of her, and turned around with confusion written all over his expression. Then, one look at her and his face turned into a kind thing, a sweet understanding she was so used to seeing on him. Percy walked back towards her, and his eyes asked the questions she'd learned to read on them so long before — are you alright?, his silence asked.
Annabeth didn't know whether she nodded or shook her head. Maybe something in between.
"It’s just..." Annabeth started, and took a deep breath. "What if I ruin the good memories of this city?"
Percy took her hand, his fingers warm over hers.
"We won't be destroying any memories, Wise Girl," he said, and took her fingers close to his face, pressing a kiss over them. "We'll just be making more. Okay?" he asked, and Annabeth thought she'd nodded. She couldn't be sure. "And if you want to get the hell out of here, we'll just take the next bus, train, even next plane out. Promise," he squeezed her fingers, and Annabeth didn't take her eyes off of his.
She thought she could walk through the deepest depths of hell and survive as long as he kept looking at her like that. As if the stars were meant to shine just for her eyes. As if the clouds could never dim the light she had. As if there was nothing more important than the two of them, and the moment they were sharing right then, so far from everything they knew and so close to all they had memorized about each other.
She didn't falter another step after that.
While in Athens, they were staying in Percy's father's house — a beautiful, beautiful mansion that overlooked the ocean and definitely cost more than Annabeth's five years of college, considering transportation and food —, because Percy was already familiar with the place, the neighbourhood, and Annabeth was definitely a fan of exploring beautiful houses and beautiful sights. They'd taken a taxi there, because Mr. Stormer had also allowed them to use one of his cars, even though the two of them had plans of walking for the most part.
For the first night, both Percy and Annabeth were too exhausted to do anything other than choosing a bedroom and falling to the heavily soft mattress of their respective beds. It felt a lot like being in a palace and lying in a cloud, and she wasn't afraid to admit that it was a perfect way to go back to a place that she'd feared going back to for so long, for so many different reasons. Staying in a mansion, sleeping over clouds and sharing the experience with a nearly ethereal human being under her eyes.
And when they woke up, Percy was rubbing his eyes while sitting at the — huge, because, of course, a rich man would have staff to take care of his house — breakfast table. His smile was lazy and tired, as it always was on mornings, and bright while greeting her with a yawn and a question on how she had slept. She laughed at his face, completely sure that Percy had only left the cloud-like mattress because his moral compass told him to, and not because he wanted. They hadn't slept late, but she had also had her doubts about leaving the bed that morning.
Then, as she tried to choose between all the options over the table — there were far too many and she was far too bad at making choices, those days — and tried to think about what to do with the time they had there, Percy had given her a small envelope, a boyish grin dancing on his face and a shy glint to his eyes and rosy glow to his cheeks. He looked adorable, and Annabeth held back her tongue before she could say anything that her mind thought about it. She tilted her head, arching her brows, and Percy had merely shrugged and moved his chin to tell her to open it.
A ticket, she saw.
For a tour around Athens. A historical, architectural tour.
How, on God's good Earth, did he manage to find that?
"Only one?" she asked instead, taking the piece of paper in her hand and searching for a second one. Obviously, it wasn't there. She looked up at him.
Percy scratched the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry," he said. "Since I'm here, my dad asked me to do a few things for him. It'll take the greater part of the day, but it was the only date I could find a seat on this particular tour. I'm really sorry," he repeated, the worry in his eyes evident. She knew why, and could understand his reasons — but it was absurd, really, that he'd apologize as if she'd blame or be mad at him.
"That's a terrible habit, you know?" she said, now joking. The lightness in her tone made him visibly relax. "Apologizing for completely nonsensical things. Percy, this is amazing," she breathed, looking at the paper in her hand. "Thank you so much."
Percy's eyes were soft.
"Anything for you," he said, as if it was the simplest truth in the world.
Annabeth didn't give herself the chance to overthink his words and the look in his eyes as she got ready and he dropped her (with his father's very fancy car) where the bus — she loved being a tourist — would take them for the tour around the city. Afterwards, she was just too caught up in the history and the buildings and the feeling of being back, of being there, of feeling happy.
They'd visited the old city, the monuments and the statues and the plazas. Annabeth knew the history and the myths behind it all, for it had been a fixation of hers for long, long years — and one that would come back every so often —, but it was nice to listen to someone else telling the stories, explaining the facts, teaching her again. It didn't bother her, to hear once more what she already knows, and it made her feel a little more like it was a new thing to discover.
She was young, the last time she'd been there, and she'd seen and heard the town through her mother's voice, her eyes and opinions. Annabeth was thrilled to be back with her own mind, her own sight, her own perspectives; she was more than glad to be capable of feeling new things, and connecting new moments to the melancholic, nostalgic places in her head.
By the end of the day-long tour, splitted among visiting monuments, lunch, browsing commercial streets and taking breaks so they could wander around, Annabeth's phone was nearly crashing with the amount of pictures and videos. Percy's and Grover's chats were filled with excited audios from all three of them and badly framed videos of her at the Parthenon, Zeus' temple, Poseidon's ruins, as well as stupid pictures of random things she'd seen on the streets, stores and around.
Her muscles were sore as she took a taxi back to Mr. Stormer's mansion, and Annabeth couldn't take the smile off her face. She was exhausted, desperately needed a shower and to just crash on the bed, but she hadn't felt so light in a long, long time when thinking about the place she was.
"Percy!" she called, stepping inside the huge house, and closing the door behind her, a smile from ear to ear. "You won't believe how amazing this place can be! And the history, oh, my God!" she laughed, dropping her backpack by the door, side by side with his shoes and the ones she'd just taken off. "I didn't remember just how much I loved this city, I swear," she laughed.
She walked inside, unused to the massiveness of the mansion, and looked around, searching for her best friend. As the night fell, the staff had probably already gone home, and the place was eerily quiet, only the sound of the waves far below and the trees in the garden.
"Percy?" she called again, her eyes roaming the details on the ceiling. It was easy to get distracted in such a huge place, especially if the building had intricate details and seemed to want to morph into the historical part of the town — it was modern just until some point, and then everything led back to those old times of temples and marble and greatness.
"Dining room!" she heard him screaming back, and chuckled to herself.
Making her way to where his voice had come from, Annabeth braced herself to be marvelled again by the salon where they had had breakfast in the morning. It was wide, impossibly so, with broad windows and glass panels so carefully put and designed it made her break her beliefs that rich people loved to live in aquarium-resembling places. The floors were made of wood, and Greek columns corroborated to the greatness of the room, the sight of the unending ocean out the window making it the closest place she'd ever been to a palace.
And as she came in, Annabeth could've expected anything.
But not what she found.
The curtains were open, and the sea was calm and silver under the moonlight. The table, large and long, was arranged with flowers and fairy lights and candles. The whole place was dim-lit, and Percy stood close to the double doors she'd just walked through.
She swept her eyes over the room again, and then looked at Percy, who stared at her. He had a mischievous grin on his face, that side smile that was so lovely and sincere. And usually meant trouble.
"So," was the first thing he said, taking a bouquet of blue flowers from where he hid it behind his back and handing it to her. Annabeth tilted her head, taking the flowers slowly. Before she could pronounce the question on her lips, Percy spoke again. "It's Valentine's Day," he explained, as if it made her confusion any better.
It didn't.
read the rest on Ao3
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gruesomejack · 2 years ago
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"You've never been kissed?"
Alex shot the boy a soft glare, "Shut up." On the porch of some frat house, the two boys were nursing the same beer, passing it back and forth between sips. It was warm and kind of gross, but it was nice to have the time with Andy now that he'd moved up here. There was a party inside that neither one of them wanted to be a part of. Andy invited Alex out as an excuse to see him, but honestly, they should've just hung out or gone bowling. The muffled sounds of music and voices weren't the type of ambiance either one of them was looking for.
"No, dude. I'm surprised." Andy said and took a sip from the bottle before offering it over to the other boy. "You were a cute girl-- You know, even for me. And now..." He trailed, "You're really good-looking."
Alex took a sip and bit back a smirk. "You're such a dick." He said and drummed his fingers on the neck, "Are you trying to seduce me, Campbell?"
Pursing his lips in thought, Andy took a moment and shrugged. "Not an entirely bad idea." He said before catching the shocked look in Alex's eyes. Breaking into a bright bark of a laugh, he put his hands up and shook his head. "Not like that! I mean-- Do you want to be kissed?" He asked, "Because... You know. I could. As a friend." He said, "You deserve to have a first kiss before you die of old age."
Alex stared, his cheeks warming a little. That sounded like an awful idea. Kissing Andy Campbell? He could barf. Frowning at him, his eyes fell to his lips and their shape. He had a perfectly formed bow and a full bottom; they were a pretty, natural pink, and they looked soft. They probably wouldn't feel too bad, would they? Alex groaned at himself for considering it. "Completely platonic?"
"One hundred percent. I know I said you were good-looking, but that's where that ends." Andy said and broke into another laugh, "I think I'd rather die than pursue anything more with you. No offense."
Reaching over, Alex punched his leg and glared. However, that made him feel better. He didn't want something as stupid as a kiss to change anything about the friendship they'd built between them. "...Okay."
Blinking, Andy let out another soft breath of a laugh. He looked at Alex, and his brows twitched. Was he serious? Pressing his lips together, his eyes moved over him and softened. Alex really was handsome; he had a square jaw and a classic look to him that a lot of guys searched their whole lives for. It was like he'd meant to be this way his whole life. And there were his eyes: deep grey and gorgeous, like two dark pools. It was easy to let himself move, to reach out for his cheek. The duck was slow, and the kiss was slower; soft lips brushed and moved against each other featherlite and curious.
"...Well?" He asked as he pulled back, a hum and a smile on his lips. Alex opened his eyes and wrinkled his brow. It felt... nice. It didn't really do much for him emotionally, just like he promised, but the feeling of their lips on one another had felt safe. Hesitating, Alex ducked in again and took another. This one was a little more involved, a little deeper and slower. Andy's lips parted for him, letting his friend's tongue slip inside and moved easy against him.
They pushed further in a search for that safety. It wasn't as strange as Alex thought it would be-- It almost felt natural with how close they were and the other affections they shared. Andy was tilting his chin and humming softly, his fingers tucking against the back of his neck and playing with the short hair on his head. They were pressed chest to chest; their hearts beat off one another and rattled in sync, their lungs squeezing. Alex wrapped his arms around him, and before he could try and tug him closer, Andy had pulled him into his lap to do the same.
Breaking to breath, Andy panted and trailed a few kisses from his jaw to his neck. His hands rubbed along the planes of his back and settled around his waist. Head fuzzy, he picked it up and smiled, his eyes searching Alex's gaze. "Should probably stop..." He said softly, "But uh... I'd... I-If you were interested-"
It'd felt so nice. The idea of more was tempting if just to help them both blow of some steam and stress. Alex nearly agreed, but stopped and shook his head. This was cutting it close already; he couldn't lose his friend to some dumb decision they made on the buzz of a few beers and the high of a kiss. "You wish, hotshot." He breathed and flashed him a small smile. "I... I just don't think we should."
Andy smiled back and nodded before helping him slide back off his lap. Taking the beer bottle from him, he polished it off and set the empty glass down beside him. "Feel better?"
Alex puffed out his cheeks. "Yeah." He said softly, glancing over at him. "Thank you, Andy."
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bloodpenned · 3 years ago
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stupid stupid thought but like. jordan kind of setting you up to be a trial of sydney's willpower? seeing how long sydney can hold out for until they give into "sinful lust." just doing everything in your power to try and seduce them and maybe they give in, or maybe they don't. but also vice versa, you being a very promising initiate and jordan has high hopes for you, but they see how you look at sydney and decide to try and test your willpower instead. pure sydney is probably really shy about having to do anything like that, but they'll try if jordan asks them to. stuttering as they try and proposition you for some naughty times, getting angry at themselves for being slightly upset every time you say no. they should be happy you can control yourself! but they really want you to take them up on the offer at least once. they wont say a thing to jordan if you wont, but its not like your chasity exam will keep secrets. corrupt sydney is probably eager to make you fall however <3 (this is so stupid pls forgive me HAHA-)
I honestly think you wouldn't be able to seduce Sydney before you're close with them, friends at the very least. Half the things you say fly right over their head and the rest gets flustered exasperation. They're clearly very dedicated to the Temple and wouldn't drop that for just anyone.
The idea of Pure Sydney being asked to try and 'seduce' you?? Absolute top tier. Wonderful, amazing, beautiful. They are panicking over how they'd even go about that, looks up pick up lines or something online and writes them down for later use. Sydney really doesn't want to disappoint Jordan, but the fact that they admire you for your dedication to the Temple doesn't help. You're so nice to them too! Aaah, this is all so embarrassing!! They'll probably ask Sirris for some advice in a very roundabout way.
In the end, they do go through with it. They'll ask in a soft voice if you would mind going out with them in to the garden for a bit...? You've both been working so hard, you can get a little break. (Part of them wants you to deny, so they have an excuse not to go through with it. But they'd be happy if you wanted to spend more time with them.) You say yes. They're fidgeting with their necklace with one hand, scratching at the back of their neck with the other. Absolutely not making eye contact. Stuttering out that they, uh, t-think you're really beautiful and... And they can't stop thinking about you... (and maybe that's true.) Sydney asks you if you'd like to 'engage in intercourse' with them, so fast that the words blur together and it sounds like one long one. It won't even show up on the chastity exam if you don't, um...!
On one hand, they're relieved that you immediately say no, that lust is a sin, that you aren't mad but that they should calmly think over their feelings and pray. Then again... They'd been hoping, just a little bit, that you would take their shaking hands in their own and kiss them. Is it so wrong to wonder what your mouth or hands would feel like? That they're a bit upset you don't see them in such a way? Really, they're the one who should've been tested here, having such sinful thoughts... They're far too ashamed to ask again and will tell Jordan you denied them without a moment's hesitation. But, well... If you ever change your mind on the offer, they won't tell.
Corrupt Sydney wants to be deflowered by you so badly. Sure, the times in the prayer room feel better than anything they could have ever imagined, maddingly so, but they want you to leave a lasting mark on each other. Their status at the Temple has deteriorated thanks to your influence, with you remaining as graceful as ever. It's time they deserve a little chance at corruption, don't they? Regardless of whether they get asked to do this as a 'task' or not, they'd try to make you fall. While they'd never force you, they would try and entice you. Wondering out loud if really taking your virginity outside the Temple would feel any different. Would offer to take the blame on them for the punishment, even knowing you'd definitely be punished at the same time. Gets all pouty if you're determined to deny them.
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astro-rain · 3 years ago
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delicate; b.barnes
chapter twenty - “collateral damage”
delicate masterlist
word count: 2k
synopsis: bucky and y/n deal with the emotional fallout of her departure from wakanda.
pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader
warnings: mildly suggestive content, nothing explicit, 18+ readers please.
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The flight home was wretched. Sleeping on the jet was impossible. Every time she shut her eyes she saw his face. If her mind did somehow manage to drift off to sleep, Y/N dreamed of him and woke up trying not to rip her hair out.
"We can still stay in contact, right?" Bucky asked as they were walking back from the waterfall.
They had left their catharsis by the water, still upset, but now calmer and more logical.
"I don't think so..."
"What? Why? It's not like we don't have the technology to do it."
"I know, but.." Y/N trailed off, trying to think of a sensible excuse.
Obviously they could stay in contact if they wanted. But any kind of phone call would be able to be tracked or recorded. That, and she didn't want him to hang on to someone who betrayed him. She couldn't imagine the guilt she'd have hearing Bucky's "I miss you's" or "Baby doll's" from miles away, knowing she lied to him.
"You don't even have a phone..."
"That's an easy problem to fix."
"I know... I just think you should focus on the rest of your healing, and... you know, I'll have a lot of work once I get back...." she took a breath. "I don't know if it's super healthy for us to cling on to each other when it... may be better to move on..."
"Move on?"
"Yeah..."
Bucky stopped walking and turned to face her. They both stood still and he stared at her, confused, as if he was trying to figure something out. He knew her well. She was scared he'd see right through her.
"So let me get this straight. When you're here we can talk all the time and... plenty of other things. But when you're away we can't even call each other?"
"Bucky..."
"That's not all, is it?"
She sighed. "I'm just... worried... about- like-... getting in trouble. If someone overhears or tracks a phone call...What if someone finds out where the 'Winter Soldier' is and comes here to exact revenge?"
That was partly true. She'd never want anyone bad to find out where he was. But no one was tracking her phone calls; she wasn't really a person of interest. In all likelihood, it probably wasn't something she'd have to be terribly worried about.
However, if anyone overheard or saw Bucky on the phone, they'd know it was her, and she doubted anything she could say would convince them that she didn't tell him about the arm.
Or maybe no one would find out. She just didn't want to take the chance. The last time she took a chance, this happened. She wasn't willing to do it again.
He stared at her with dejected eyes. "You know you don't have to worry about me. I'll be okay."
She rested her hands on his forearms and laughed sadly. "Bucky, I don't think I'm ever not gonna worry about you."
He was already in her heart. She didn't think he could leave now.
He let his eyelids fall shut. "I really don't want you to go."
She closed her eyes as well and let her forehead rest against the top of his chest.
"I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to leave you either. But you're gonna do so well, even without me. And every day I'll wake up and think 'wow this man is sexy and has good coping mechanisms! I wish I was him!'"
In the midst of his sadness, she made him laugh. It was a despondent, quiet laugh, but she managed to lift his mood all the same - even if just a little bit. She'd always make everything better.
He gazed down at her, eyes heavy, and without even thinking about it... "I love you."
She looked down at the grass below her feet. "Buck..."
"I do. I'm sorry but I do."
She wrapped her arms around the middle of his back, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in tight, one arm up her back and the other cradling her head.
In the tiniest whisper, she let the truth flow out from her chest. "I love you, too."
The clouds provoked her, so peaceful and quiet, while her head was a big, loud mess. Y/N leaned her head on the window, glaring at them and wondering if she should've said what she did. That she loved him. Internally, she debated whether or not it would make things worse. But she wasn't going to see him again; she might as well have left him with the truth.
Time was lost to her. She thought she would be landing soon, but she couldn't be sure. She couldn't be sure of anything anymore.
-
Bucky sat at the lake - their lake - and just stared into the water. It felt so strange to him, that she was gone. One minute she was here and now he was just... alone.
It was so quiet. Too quiet. Of course being alone was quiet, but after Y/N left, the air just felt empty.
He wished he could talk to her. Whenever he was upset, all he wanted to do was talk to her.
"So, is this... d-do we say goodbye now?" he asked when they got back to his hut.
"Yeah..." she sighed. "yeah."
"Are you going back to Europe?"
"Yes. Belgium. Haven't been in my apartment in forever."
"Belgium," he wondered. "It's nice there. Safe. What are you gonna do for work?"
"Probably just continue where I left off on my research. Fancy brain stuff, ya'know?"
He grinned, proud. "My smart girl."
She looked around her, as if watching for something. Or someone.
"Buck, I think I have to go now."
"Just one more minute? Please. I wanna remember you like this. Not sad and crying."
Y/N smiled, grabbed his hands, and kissed his knuckles. Both flesh and metal. Because they were both part of him and she loved him. All of him.
Then, she placed both his hands on either side of her face. Softly she said, "remember me like this," before bringing their lips together.
He looked down at his vibranium arm, twisting his wrist to watch how the plates whirred.
Since the first moment he put it on, he had been using it to be gentle, loving, and affectionate. This arm was good. This arm wasn't used for death and destruction and violence.
With this arm he held her, kissed her, loved her. And now she was gone. And now it felt like dead weight.
— ONE WEEK LATER —
Whenever Bucky looked at his bionic arm he saw her. It began to make him sad.
His hair had been getting longer and longer. He could cut it now, now that he had two arms. But every time he tried, all he could do was stare at the arm and hear her voice in his head.
"That's your heart. That's you. You're all heart, Buck. You're so deeply, wonderfully human. All the way to your bones."
That was the first time he expressed real distress about missing a limb, he recalled. That was the first time they kissed. Funny how that transition was made, funny how she could remedy some of his worst emotions.
His days were boring and uneventful and nearly silent. He sat alone a lot. There was no laughter anymore, none of her laughter. There was no more holding, no more kissing, no more loving. The arm just felt... wrong? Like what it was born from had died.
-
In Belgium, Y/N felt incredibly uncomfortable. She knew she just needed to adjust to the change, after getting to used to life in Wakanda - life with Bucky. Her vacant apartment didn't feel as homey.
It had been, what, a year and a half? About a year and a half since she had been home. About a year and a half spent with Bucky.
Her apartment seemed so... barren. Void of life. And cold. She was used to the Wakandan heat. When she closed and locked the door behind her, she looked at the golden square that the sun cast through her window. It reminded her of that heat.
Y/N sighed, cursing her very own hippocampus for providing her with memory.
"God, I wish you had an AC in here."
She was in his bed. Well, she was on top of him, straddling him, in his bed.
"Is it hot or is it just you?" he joked, poking at her sides and trying to not pout at the loss of her lips.
"Ha. Ha," she rolled her eyes and brought her face back to his.
"Wait," Bucky said and gently pulled her face away to examine it. "You are a little warm."
"It's okay," she quickly tried to resume their previous activity.
"Hold on-" he got cut off as Y/N kept pecking his lips over and over.
"I have-"
Kiss.
"An idea-"
Kiss.
Lightly he pushed her shoulders away, nearly giggling. "Stop it! Just wait a second!"
Bashful, she conceded. "What?"
"Just-" he reached out and put the vibranium hand on her forehead, effectively cooling her down a bit. She closed her eyes and flashed a goofy smile.
"That feels nice."
Then, suddenly, he wrapped both his arms around her back and flipped them over so that he was on top. He smirked.
"Oh yeah, you just wait."
She hung her keys up and took a deep breath, absorbing the emptiness. This was her new normal; she just had to get used to it.
-
"I just- I don't really... I don't think I need it," Bucky tried to explain.
Want it, he thought. I don't want it. I can't stand to even look at it.
"You don't need it?" Shuri asked.
"Yeah, it-uh it takes a bit of getting used to and I think I just need a break. And I wouldn't want to damage it so... figured it's better with you."
He was better at lying than he gave himself credit for.
"Okay," Shuri accepted his answer and began to detach the bionic arm. "But you let me know if it's uncomfortable or painful anywhere so I can adjust it. Alright?"
"Alright. Thank you."
Finally he was rid of it- that cursed metal weighing down on his soul. Maybe now he could focus on other things. Maybe. It didn't seem likely...
However, as the days drew closer, it did make him slightly - only slightly -  less nervous about the trigger word experiment. Now he didn't have a weapon attached to him. Though he reckoned he was the weapon.
No. He wasn't supposed to think like that. He knew Y/N wouldn't want him to. He knew she would say something like, "You aren't what they tried to make you into. You're you and all HYDRA's awfulness can't change the good at your core. My Bucky. You're perfect."
He'd deny to high heavens that he was the farthest thing from perfect. Bucky had no clue how she could say such things. But her conviction never faltered.
Soon enough the day came. The experiment. All he could think about was how she was supposed to be there. He didn't want to do this without her.
But now, he found himself sitting at at a fire on some mountain with one of the Doras. It was dark and it was scary. He was scared.
"It is time," said Ayo.
Nevermind want. He wasn't sure if he could do this without her.
"Are you sure about this?"
"I won't let you hurt anyone."
He was still scared. He still didn't trust himself. But, staring into the fire, he thought back to a past conversation.
"You don't have to trust yourself. That's hard enough as it is and Hydra didn't make it any easier. You just trust me, alright? ... And I will not let anything happen to you."
Bucky didn't have to trust himself. He just had to trust her. Even if she wasn't here, even if she was on another continent, all he had to do was trust her. When Ayo began reciting the trigger words, that was the one thing thing he held onto. The one thing that kept him afloat.
His trust in her.
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echo-three-one · 4 years ago
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Whatever It Takes : Reloaded
They're on a mission, chasing a lead in hopes of locating where The Shadow Company is situated.
Table of Contents
Previous Chapter : Vlad the Janitor
Chapter 20 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️
forgive the piccrew
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Undying Admiration
Francine "France" Winters
Safe house 110197, Brazil
"Look at them two, you think we could do that too?" Soap asked France. They were both seated on Soap's side of the floor, the soft foam caught their asses as they crossed their legs while Soap spun around a water bottle.
"You and me? Sing and Dance? Never in a million years!" She denied looking at the poor guy's attempt to actually get her to like him. She thinks he already knew that she's already falling for him since day one. But she wanted to focus on other things at hand rather than distract herself with romance. Maybe if this was all over and he's still there, he'll finally get the answer he's looking for.
"Why not? I'm kinda okay with singing." He grinned. Francine giggled. Sure he is, his overconfidence was getting attractive for her. If they weren't soldiers in a war, they'd probably be making out again. What happened back at the Gulag was an impulse, she never saw it coming as she almost lost hope for his absence.
"Why don't you like… sing for me?" She dared her eyes stared intensely into Soap's eye-catching baby blue orbs. She made a mental note that staring for more than five seconds in those were already dangerous, so she always breaks it before the fifth.
"Why do you do that?" He asked, his voice was giving her ears a good time. Yes. She's falling for him. It felt like everything he does is attractive, but she shouldn't be too quick, life has taught her that the faster she falls in love, the faster they leave. So she had to test the guy's patience.
"Do what?" she asked as if she didn't know what he meant.
"Look me in the eyes then immediately break it as soon as I stare long enough…" His eyes squinted towards her as she evaded eye contact.
"I don't do that." She easily shrugged it off and got up.
"Well, good night. John. We have an early mission tomorrow." She got up as Soap trailed his eyes on her, the look of admiration was painted all across his face.
"Can you not look at me like that?!" She pleaded as her cheeks blushed. Her boyish appeal on the force always repelled attention and now this guy was admiring her for who she is and she felt happy.
"I won't do it if I get a good night's kiss." he pouted his wonderful lips. Lips she actually really wanted to taste again.
"Good Night John." She said as she closed the men's bedroom door and went to her bed.
~
When Price told her about a small recon mission, she never knew it was this small. The team only consisted of her and Ghost riding a rental truck to a village which was a few kilometers away from their safe house. The point person was an alleged nephew of a soldier that currently works for Shepherd. It was almost a dead lead but the intel being accessible enough was sort of worth it.
Rule of engagement is "Don't".
The village would most likely be unarmed, unprotected and peaceful. But Price advised to keep a side arm in case things go awry. It was a good call, and France noted to herself that she won't ever fire a shot for this mission as to not raise any sort of attention in addition to what Shepherd already gave them.
"Looks like it's time to go." Soap muttered as Ghost passed through them looking prepared.
Soap nodded goodbye to the man but he just continued walking.
"Maybe he had earphones on." he muttered as he pouted his lips. France softly reached for his cheek and shoved it sideways.
"In your dreams." She laughed as she waved goodbye.
"Every night." He winked as France made an almost disgusted face and followed Ghost. She was lucky enough that she quickly moved that Soap won't see her blushing cheeks.
France hoisted herself on the shotgun of the car and smiled at her partner, who looked serious. Without his mask, he was your average tough british soldier, and he looked like he wasn't in for some small talk while driving. France respected his privacy and trailed her eyes elsewhere, looking at the lush greenery and muddy tracks of tropical Brazil.
France wasn't a fan of quiet road trips, she tried humming to tunes from her playlist as the loud revving of the rental jeep overpowered her voice.
"Are you usually this quiet?" France asked, trying to break the silence between them.
"Yeah. You got a problem with that?" He replied, his eyes trailed on the road as it hit a bump. France actually felt shocked toward his reply and she started to worry about what she did wrong.
"You know you could always say no to Price's orders instead of regretting and wishing Roach would be here instead of me." She pouted, crossing her arms.
"Well that wasn't my case but now that you said it, maybe I should've asked for Roach instead!" He yelled. France couldn't help but shed a tear. She actually had no idea towards his hostility and the thought of not knowing any reason made her mad.
"Wow. Okay." she squirmed and unbuckled her seatbelt causing Ghost to slow down his driving.
"Where are you going? The village is still far from here!" he asked, France never bothered to talk to him as she simply walked away from the path.
Ghost immediately left the vehicle and followed her, catching her so she won't escape and run away.
"Why are you not replying?!" He asked, gripping her hands, restricting her movement. France used her strength to break free of his slightly weak grip and turned to him.
"You see now how it feels? To ignore someone without knowing why?!" She raised her voice. This seemed to make sense to Simon as he actually looked like he's sorry.
"I… " he sighed and looked at her, his eyes were lost and sad.
"I can't talk to you anymore… because I like you… but you've already set your eyes on someone else… so I just had to ignore you hoping that it'll make it less painful." he muttered. Complete silence filled the air.
France didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say. It may be true that she already had eyes on a certain Scottish cutie, but telling him the truth all over again would leave such mental scars.
It took her long enough to say something that Ghost already invited her back to the car, and her silence may leave no meaning, but to Ghost it meant a lot, at least he knew that he no longer had a chance on her and would finally move on.
The village was like any other typical village, the elder's house would always be on the highest point and the two opted to ask the village elder first to gather clues.
One clue led to another as they visited each house looking for one Fabian Alvarez, a nephew of an alleged Shadow Company soldier. Only a few were able to speak fluent english and they decided to help, until such time that Fabian decided to show up.
He looked like a five year old kid, holding a rubber ball and he looked at France and Ghost awkwardly before hiding back into his house. Fabian was far too young to know about his uncle's whereabouts and the lead went cold once again.
The ride home was quiet. France didn't want to say anything as she can't. Her heart was like inside a washing machine, swirling around as she thought of how Ghost liked her while she's clearly liking someone else. It must've been hella awkward and painful to see on a daily basis. She felt that once, when her best friend got together with her high school crush and continued to stay together up to this day… She knew how he felt.
~
The moment they got back, she was actually greeted by Soap, who already had his hands wide open for a hug. As usual, France would ignore his gesture and it now felt that she was already helping out Ghost from the pain. But now, she's the one feeling restricted.
It pained her to not get near Soap and he's already starting to notice the indifference. She was actually surprised when he cornered her, just as soon as she stepped out of the shower.
Her cheeks flushed as the idea of her, only wrapped with a towel, stood in front of Soap. She felt really vulnerable in this position.
"What happened out there?" he looked angry but the tone of his voice sounded concerned.
"Nothing, it's just … A dead lead. A waste of time." She replied as she attempted to cross over him.
"And how does that warrant an indifferent approach toward me?" he quickly moved to block her again. She sighed at her actions. He was right. He didn't deserve this treatment, he needed to learn something about the truth.
"We had a little fight with your friend over there…" She muttered, her voice was low enough so he couldn't hear.
"Who, Ghost?" he inched his face closer and his face lit up like a curious bystander who overhears conversations on a daily basis.
"Yeah… It was an unpleasant exchange." She said vaguely.
"Well, it'll all be resolved soon. I guess you're too carried away that you didn't want to talk to me as well…" he chuckled and scratched the back of his head. That gesture always made France happy, he may not notice it but she loves the way his muscles twitch when he scratches his nape. She found it satisfying and hot.
"Yeah… I'll go change." She said, as she frowned as soon as they parted. She knew she had to tell him the specific reason and the events that occured today, but she felt that it would create a domino effect that would lead the team to be uncooperative.
During bedtime, Alex requested France to swap sleeping spaces, meaning that she had to lie down beside Soap. She couldn't find the courage to say no as it might ruin the reunion they both longed for after a very long time.
France swung the door open and found out that they were already asleep, except for Ghost who was once again missing. She used this opportunity to actually wake Soap up and let him be aware that she'll be sleeping beside him. She planned to make both men comfortable by spacing herself between them, by only showing affection to Soap while Ghost's not around, until such time that Ghost would accept the inevitable truth.
"John." She whispered, as Soap lazily opened his eyes and reached out for her, wrapping her in his arms.
"I really like you. A lot. I hope you'll be patient enough for me." She whispered again. She knew he wouldn't hear it but the idea of her actually expressing her thoughts to him, put her at ease, as she slowly closed her eyes and drifted to sleep, wrapped by the arms of the man whom she really admired.
Next Chapter : If I Remember Correctly
Notification Squad my Beloved
@ricinbach @whimsywispsblog @smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @beemybee
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bumblesimagines · 5 years ago
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Sick
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Request; Yes or No
Trigger Warning: Depression, schizophrenia, self harm
I'm not sure how old Kurtz was but I'm gonna say 15-16. (Y/N) is 17-18.
If anyone with schizophrenia feels offended or wants to inform me on it, please feel free to message me and I'll fix whatever needs to be fixed. Please remember that I don't have schizophrenia so I can only learn from the people who do. Also, please be mindful of the fact that I'm not saying all wards are bad, some are good while others aren't, it really depends on you and how you view your experience.
(Y/N) rested his head against the window, staring at the blurry trees. He could hear Lucie's distant chatter as she tried to start a conversation.
"What happened to Kurtz?" He asked, lifting his head and looking at her. The boy he was supposed to protect, his younger brother, was dead. Lucie swallowed, hazel eyes flickering over to him.
"He.. Some crazy guy killed him." (Y/N) looked at the road in front of them. (Y/N) had lived on the Northside with his aunt after his parents deemed him crazy. His aunt took him in, having the disorder as well. She passed over giving in to the tumor in her brain and Lucie, his older cousin, took custody of him. During that period, (Y/N) had learned that his parents had overdosed and that his brother got addicted. Those two things combined with his disorder drove him to almost end his own life but Lucie found him in time. Sheriff Keller advised her to send (Y/N) to a psych ward until he was better. He didn't feel better.
"We can go to Pop's, get a burger and a milkshake." Lucie said, offering a smile. (Y/N) stayed silent. Her smile dropped.
"Please.. Talk to me, (N/N). I haven't seen you in almost a year." Lucie begged, glancing at him.
'Who's fault is that?' (Y/N) chuckled. Lucie shot him an old look before realization took over.
"You haven't taken your meds, have you?" Lucie sighed, one hand gripping the wheel as she ran a hand through her hair.
'Grab the wheel.'
"No." (Y/N) mumbled. Lucie licked her lips, thinking about what to say.
"What are they saying?" She asked. (Y/N) shifted his attention onto the trees again, choosing not to respond. Having dealt with her own mother being schizophrenic, Lucie was used to hearing someone talking to themselves or seeing things. She wasn't used to a completely emotionless person though. The doctors called it flattening.
"Okay, how about this, I go get some Pop's and you can rest at home. Sounds like a good idea?" She asked.
"Okay." Lucie smiled, happy that she got a response.
"Great. Maybe Betty could keep you company? She was your friend, right?"
"No." Lucie glanced at her cousin, pressing her lips into a thin line.
"Well, she asked about you." Lucie pulled up to their house, giving him a small smile. (Y/N) got out of the car, getting his stuff and taking the house key from her. He walked up to the porch, unlocking the door and entering. Everything was still the same. With a sigh, (Y/N) went up the stairs and entered his old bedroom. It was clean and tidy. On his bed lied a small note and a jacket. He picked it up, looking at the note.
'Welcome home! From Betty C.'
(Y/N) looked at the jacket. It had a design of a band/singer he liked.
'Burn it.' (Y/N) rolled his eyes, ignoring the voice. He looked over at his window, approaching it and gazing at Archie's house. Betty and Archie sat on the steps, chatting. Betty turned her head, noticing him. She gave a small wave. (Y/N) closed the curtains. He fell back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, looking at Kurtz. The male stayed silent, arm draping over the stomach of his older brother. Even if Kurtz was dead, (Y/N) could at least see him in his hallucinations.
"I should've been there for you."
'He's dead because of you.'
"I should've stayed."
'You were a terrible brother.'
"I love you." (Y/N) whispered. Kurtz pressed a kiss to his forehead, disappearing when someone knocked on the door. (Y/N) stayed in bed, hoping they'd go away.
"(Y/N)? It's Betty!" (Y/N) grunted, getting up and leaving his room. He headed towards the front door and opened it, looking at the two friends.
"Can we come in?" Betty chirped, tilting her head. (Y/N) wanted to say no but maybe the two would keep the voices at bay. He nodded, stepping back and letting them in. (Y/N) closed the door, going into the livingroom and sitting down.
"Did you get my gift?" Betty asked, smiling. (Y/N) hated how positive and energetic she was.
"Yeah."
'She doesn't care about you.'
"I know." (Y/N) mumbled, fiddling with the sleeve of his hoodie. Betty and Archie glanced at each other.
"How was the psych ward?" Archie asked. (Y/N) stared at the ginger.
"Boring." He replied.
"Well, at school we're thinking about starting a club for people with mental illnesses to feel accepted and know others are here for them." Betty said, glancing at Archie.
"We were wondering if you wanted to join? Talk about your experiences?" Betty asked. (Y/N) looked at her.
'They're scared of you. You're a threat.' (Y/N) shrugged.
"Okay." Betty's eyes lit up.
"Great! We'll see you at school." She smiled, standing up. (Y/N) leaned back, letting her know that he didn't want a goodbye hug. Betty and Archie left with small waves. (Y/N) stayed seated on the couch, not really knowing what to do. He was used to being isolated so being able to leave the house was weird. (Y/N) curled up on the couch, ignoring the small shadowy figures that he saw out of the corner of his eye and stared at the tv as if it was on. A sight to behold when Lucie returned.
(Y/N) stared at the school. The people who knew him watched him or whispered to their friends.
"Have a good day." Lucie called. (Y/N) ignored her, hearing the car drive off. He took a deep breath in and pulled down his hoodie sleeves. (Y/N) kept his gaze low as he walked up to the school and entered. Newbies who didn't know him were quickly told who he was. People steered clear of his path. (Y/N) got his schedule as the bell rang and went to class. The teacher knew who he was.
"I'd like to welcome back Mr. (L/N) to Riverdale High." The teacher flashed a pity filled smile.
'Strangle her.' For once, (Y/N) wanted to do exactly what the voice said.
"Please take a seat bedside Mr. Fogarty." She said, motioning to a Serpent.
"Do I have to?" He grunted. The teacher blinked, glancing down at her seating chart.
"Um.. I can change your seat tomorrow." She said, a little nervously. (Y/N) hummed and approached Fogarty, taking a seat beside him. (Y/N) opened his notebook, taking some notes but eventually resorted to doing doodles of the shadowy figure in the corner of the room.
"Dark." The tan male beside him mumbled. (Y/N) looked at him blankly.
"I'm Fangs." Fangs said, extending his hand. (Y/N) looked back at his notebook.
"My brother almost killed you." Was all (Y/N) said. Fangs blinked and it clicked in his head. (Y/N) rested his head on his fist. His mind was blank and he wasn't processing anything the teacher was saying.
"I can give you the notes." Fangs offered suddenly. (Y/N) blinked, looking at him. His gaze shifted onto Kurtz, who stood behind Fangs, looking rather annoyed. (Y/N) looked back at him, searching for some sort of pity in his eyes but only found kindness.
"Whatever." (Y/N) replied, noting that the shadowy figure had disappeared. He stood when the bell rang and went to his next class. Nobody spoke to him. Some people glanced and whispered. It was like that until his last period. (Y/N) looked at Jughead when the male sat besides him.
"Hey."
"Go fuck yourself." Jughead decided not to speak with him for the remainder of class. (Y/N) was relieved to hear the bell but it was short lived. Betty, Archie, and some chick entered the classroom and greeted him.
"You must be (Y/N), heard a lot about you." Veronica said.
"All bad things probably." (Y/N) replied, making it clear he wasn't interested in a friendship.
"Well, I brought the idea up to our principle and we got the all clear." Betty said, smiling. (Y/N) really couldn't care less. His eyes flickered to the figure in the corner.
"What's your disorder again?" Veronica asked.
"None of your fucking buiness." (Y/N) replied automatically. Veronica blinked, taken a back.
"Okayy, let's go to the club room we were able to claim." Jughead said, trying to ease the arising tension. (Y/N) crossed his arms. What a shit show.
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#Introducing ToSha
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I've come to realize I've never said anything about Keisha and Tony. This ship was only born last summer but me and my friend have caught back a serious case of ToSha fever a few days ago so I'm taking this opportunity to introduce them properly.
*Keisha and Tony are part of a story yet unnamed that takes place a few days/weeks after the events of Blindsight. Tony actually has an active role in Blindsight since he's the handyman of the Nocenti family who wants Shaun, Chester and Ani dead. By that I mean he's taking care of all the dirty work. I don't wanna spoil Blindsight but Tony ends up more or less changing sides and betraying his family by making a bargain with Shaun to save Ani (they've got a hilarious bromance going on but that's another story)
*Tony is a smart guy. And also kind. His dad, Gene Nocenti, is a mafioso, his mom is a nurse and he's very close to her. He has a conflicted relationship with his brothers because he wasn't born from the same mother. Astero, the first born blatantly dislikes Tony and used to bully him when they were kids. Marco, the second born, is used to walk into Astero's footsteps, so he's mimicking his brother's animosity towards Tony without really knowing why. Silver, the youngest of the bunch (Tony's little brother) was the only one Tony could really get along with on his father's side. Tony was Silver's role model and they spent a lot of time together despite their differences.
*And then there's Keisha Romero. The prettiest girl on the block. The prettiest girl in all the fucking Bronx, some would say. Tony and Keisha have known each other since forever, they've been living in the same street since they were kids (Keisha with her parents, her grandma, her two sisters and her baby brother, and Tony alone with his mom) so they didn't see each other as a potential romantic interest at first, not at all. He was just a stupid guy heckling with the other boys on the block, she was just a bratty little miss know-it-all who thought she knew better because she was reading her dad's newspaper.
*Around 11-12 they started to see each other under a different light. Keisha was becoming prettier everyday, the boys were slowly beginning to notice it. Tony on the other hand stayed a scrawny stray cat for a long time, but never really felt self conscious about it. It's only around 15 he had the most epic glo-up, nobody understood what happened.
*Keisha always liked Tony. That's why she was always acting superior with him ; she was clumsy but all she wanted was for him to notice her. She liked him even before he got the glo-up and her friends would start giggling whenever he would pass by in the hallway. It's also probably the reason why she would dismiss all the boys who would be bold enough to ask her out. At 15, Keisha had the reputation of a virgin warrior princess in high school. She was seen as unreachable. One day Tony's friends dared him to ask her out, he didn't want to do it, but the boys pushed him and turned that into a bet "if she says yes you win 50 bucks! But I guess we'll never know cause ya ain't even got the balls to ask her. "- Tony didn't like that. He liked Keisha and wanted to ask her out but that thing felt really wrong, she didn't deserve to be played. In the end Tony took the bet reluctantly ; cause he was 15 and you know how easily a young boy breaks under peer pressure.
*To everyone's surprise, Keisha said yes when Tony asked her out. Especially him. "Are you for real?" "Yeah but I gotta be home by 9 and you'll have to pick me up and walk me to my house after that." He was the only guy she wanted to go out with, but he had no idea. Tony won the goddamn 50 bucks, but he didn't give a shit. He had a date with Keisha, the prettiest girl on the block. But to him she was still bratty ShaSha ; he gave her that nickname when they were kids and she never liked it, so he never gave it up.
*They started dating and it was wonderful for like one month. He was her first date, her first slow dance, her first kiss (excuse me yes, this is a teen movie sorry I should've put a trigger warning) but rumours run fast and ShaSha quickly learnt about the bet. She was furious. She went to talk to him that afternoon where he was chilling with his friends in the yard and slapped him before he could even say a word. Then she dumped him in front of everyone, and left, still furious. Tony's friends were laughing at him but he didn't really care. He knew he wouldn't be hanging out with those fuckers anyway from now on. Keisha cried herself to sleep that night. Tony was also her first heartbreak.
*Keisha got over that heartbreak eventually. The next year, Tony found new friends, and his new friends were friends with Keisha's friends so they ended up forming a clique, eating together at lunch, etc. At first Tony and Keisha were avoiding each other, but everything went fine when she found herself another boyfriend and finally accepted Tony's excuses. They were hanging out again. They were closer than ever. Tony didn't mind that Keisha was dating another guy, he was happy for her. But on the other hand, Keisha wasn't as happy as she claimed when Tony started to date Maria, a friend they had in common. She was jealous af. And she started idealising Maria and having self esteem issues. She broke up with her then bf shortly after that. The days passed and Tony and Maria were still together. Tony was treating her right, and Keisha was happy Maria found him cause she deserved it (the girl had a very difficult family situation, and a very tough life in general) but she couldn't help feeling jealous and she felt awful for that. He was really in love with her, and she hated it.
*When they were in senior year, Tony and Keisha's lives took separate paths. They both got accepted at Columbia university, and they were excited to go and to be able to see each other there, but things went down by the end of the school year : Maria got addicted to heroin, and Tony's mom was attacked by enemies of the Nocentis (cause Tony's mom is a nurse, that's how she met his gangster of a father. She still heals his men from time to time) and after all that Tony didn't feel like going to Columbia anymore. He couldn't leave his mom, he couldn't leave his girl.
*Keisha went to college and did very good. She liked the life on campus, and she liked to study. The life in Manhattan was nothing like in the Bronx, and she enjoyed that change. She felt like she could've gotten used to that. Everything was good as gold for her but nasty things were happening at the same time in the North of the city, in the streets where she had been growing up. Keisha's dad got sick, he was no longer able to walk, her kid brother, Joaquin, was becoming a troubled teenager, got arrested for theft and assault multiple times before the age of 14 and was sent to juvenile hall at 15. Maria had died from an overdose, and Tony was nowhere to be found. She didn't try to keep in touch with him ; when was silently blaming him because he chose to stay in the Bronx instead of going to uni with her. She understood her choice and didn't expect less of him, but she was mad, mad that he didn't give up everything to go with her.
*Keisha heard back from Tony at 23, when she was about to get her master's degree. She had a boyfriend, a PhD student from the same department as her, and everything was fine, until Tony reappeared. She agreed to meet with old friends from high school downtown, and Tony offered to pick her up so they'd go together. He knocked at her door, she opened, and all her feelings were brought back to life the second she saw him. It was a weird love at first sight ; falling instantly for someone you've always known. He was the same but he was different, it showed that he had grown out brutally from boyhood to become the man he was now. Also he was wearing a sleeveless hoodie, was visibly just going out from the gym cause his strong arms were glistening with sweat. She couldn't help but to stare like an idiot. He stared back at her "Campus life did you good ShaSha, you're beaming". It took like... One minute before things got completely out of hand and they ended up fucking each other's brain's out in Keisha's dorm room. They didn't know where that came from ; they hadn't seen each other in years, they had no idea what they were doing. They just knew they needed it, and that it felt good.
*Keisha had never been an 'easy girl'. The idea of sex always more or less repulsed her, and even though she had been dating a few guys since she was 15, she didn't lose her virginity before that day, with Tony. Once again he was her first, and it felt amazing cause that was exactly what she wanted. She knew she was cheating on her bf but she didn't care, cause Tony drove her completely crazy. What she didn't anticipate was the consequences of that raunchy afternoon spent on campus with her long time friend. Three weeks later she realised she was pregnant.
*Coming from a very Catholic family, and being the good and committed daughter that she is, Keisha renounced to abortion. She graduated with her bump starting to show. Her bf, thinking the kid was his, agreed to settle down with Keisha and help her raising the baby. They moved to South Carolina where he found a job as a teacher, Keisha gave birth to a beautiful boy that she named Noah, and they lived together for two years. They eventually broke up when Keisha confessed to her partner that he wasn't the baby's dad.
*Keisha went back to the Bronx only to find out the place she used to know had turned into a warzone. The Nocentis who had been protecting the neighborhood for decades were severely weakened now that the drug market had been stolen from them by an international cartel. Joaquin, Keisha's brother was out of juvenile hall and visibly not decided to go on the right track; he was now in bed with the local mafia.
*Tony was also irremediably on the wrong side of the fence at the moment. Keisha didn't want to know what he was doing exactly for his father and brothers, but the way people talked about him -the way they looked away when they mentioned his name- she knew it was probably bad. Very bad. When Tony saw Keisha coming back with her kid in her arms, he knew she would definitely always be out of his reach. He knew he was involved in very nasty shit, he didn't like or dislike his situation ; it was the way it was. He just knew it wasn't for her, he was ready to give up on her. He didn't understand why she came back. He had no idea he was the main reason.
*Shortly before the events of Blindsight ; Joaquin is killed by the Nocentis out of retaliation. Silver Nocenti is severely wounded after an altercation with an individual named Shaun Myers who happens to be closely related to the mortal enemy of the Nocenti family. Silver succumbed to his wounds a few days after that, in his hospital bed.
*When the 'Blindsight-extended-story-that-doesnt-have-a-name-yet' begins, Tony and Keisha are both mourning the loss of a younger brother, Keisha is doing money laundering for the Nocentis to pay back her brother's debts on top of breaking her back at the local diner to get money to feed her kid, while being blackmailed by Marco, Tony's older brother who's got his eyes on her. Tony is busy with the criminal stuff and the grief and the vendetta, and he doesn't know he's the father of Keisha's son. Ofc these idiots are still in love.
It's a mess but I think you got the pitch now *sweats nervously*
A cookie to anyone who managed to get to the bottom of this monster post without dying asphyxiated by all the fluff during the teen movie part at the beginning! 🍪
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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 6 years ago
Text
September Song (3/3)
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I'm sorry @kitten-wrath that this took so long, but I do hope you like it. @hoodoo12 @xerxezra thanks for brainstorming with me. By the way, @kitten-wrath there's a reference to one of your fics. I'm sure you'll know it immediately, but to those that don't the read her fic here (Link to referenced fic)
I'm really proud of this fic. It references many of my other fics since most of them being to my Fluffy Adventures With Your Boyfriend Doofus Rick series. I would list all the references, but there's too many. Though, I can list a few of the bigger references for context (Sentimental Reasons, As The World Falls Down, The Little Big Things)
Also, special thanks go to @her-victori for reading a majority of my fics in a short span of time. You Rock! As well to random anons who leave me sweet words in my ask box.
If you haven't read the first or second of this fic then here's the link. (Read Part1 Here) (Read Part2 Here)
In this fic the reader tries to be more reserved and mature for Rick, but what will he think?
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Chapter 3: One hasn't got time
Random fish jumped out of the water, a cricket jumped over his foot, and there you two were amidst the music of the night. You sat on the hood of his car, swinging your feet back and forth, wondering what was going on inside of that head of his. You knew Zeta-7 was studying you, with one his hands in his pocket while the other held your heels, half hidden by the darkness. Was he worried you were going to walk barefoot on the gravel, or preoccupied with the state of your naked feet? Might've been the shade of nail polish you had on your toes, or simply he was thinking of a completely unrelated topic; of which you may never know. Nonetheless, you were compelled to apologize again in order to fill up the gap of conversation. “Rick, I really am sorry if I ruined our date. I should've just talked to you about how I was feeling.”
Walking around the car, placing your discarded heels in the back seat, Zeta-7 opened the trunk and searched around until he found what he was looking for. “Y-y-you didn't ruin our date,” he assured, dropping on one knee beside you so he could slip his sandals on your feet. “you saved it. It's - it's one less thing t-to worry about. Boy, I'm glad I-I still had a pair of flip flops in the trunk. They sure came in handy.”
“How long have those been in there.”
“I'd say a-a few months.”
A few months probably meant they'd been in there since that time you two went to the beach. You checked your now sandaled foot, giggling at the dramatic size differences between your foot and the sandal. “Hmm, I guess this means I'm not Cinderella; the slipper doesn't fit. That's a good thing because prince charming is so not my type.”
When he stood back up, he wondered. “Then what is y-your type?”
You'd think he'd by now that you had never been crazy about guys. Sure, in your teen years you had your random crushes on the guys in your art and science class, but nothing specific came to mind as to why they were appealing to you; you had other more activities which kept you happily diverted. And now, taking in the sharp lines of his suit, and eager want of understanding, you felt your heart flutter as it did when he was especially attractive to you. It wasn't so much in his appearance but in the feelings you had when light-hearted, casual sweetness flitted across the lines of romanticism; when smart, witty repartee translated to golden words, soft touches, and knowing. But to Rick, he needed both the conscious and unconscious understanding; the affirmation that you held him in high regard. “That's a good question Ricky. You know it's not goblin kings or fire-breathing dragons who are cursed princes in disguise, neither is it swimsuit models, or rock stars, and never villains. Honestly, I didn't know I had a type until I met someone who challenged the conventional rules.”
With raised brow, he shifted his weight to his other foot, pleasantly intrigued. “Is th-that so?”
Why the smartest man in the universe had to doubt the validity of his place in your heart and skeptical when varying parties voiced conflicting opinions would perhaps be the ongoing mystery, but you dare not hurt him further. “It is. I like people who are comforting, who can cook and garden. Maybe they'll tell me silly stories, and make me tea before they say goodnight. Being multilingual never hurt, and if they have a cute stutter, they might as well kill me with cuteness when paired with darling buck teeth. Hmm, reminds me of a certain mountain king I knew once upon a dream. Though the only difference between him and you is that he was very lonely, and as for you, I hope you'll never have to be again.”
You looked up at him, with cheeks flaming after this sort confession, finding that your usual open affections were a mix teasing and simple flirtations, but you looked away from his burning, but altogether odd gaze of his since your heart beated wildly in your chest from it; for a great deal of the time, you two were very casual with one another as you had been when you were just friends. Zeta-7 stepped closer, and put his hand under your chin and lifted your face to look at it keenly. “With you,” he smiled protectingly before he pressed a kiss on your forehead. “I-I-I never will be.”
You certainly hoped so. “Rick, I think it's getting late. Should we call it a night?”
“Are y-you tired?”
“Not in the slightest. Why? Feeling like an adventure?”
“Not exactly, but can I take y-you somewhere?”
“Sure. As long as you're there, then I don't mind.”
_______________
You snuggled into his side, trying to steal as much warmth as you could. “Since when did you have a hammock?”
“Since th-this morning. Do you like it?”
“I love it. Especially since it gives me an excuse to just come over and chill in the backyard. Maybe do a little bird watching, flirt with the gardener. You know.”
“Gosh, y-you can come over whenever you want. Mi casa es s-su casa. Remember?”
His home was your home? Well, you always felt it was in a way. As ever there was a feeling of unchangingness about the night sky, and with you two returning to the general lazy routine that was as delightful as it was elusive, you wondered how you were going to convince yourself to leave the comfort of his arms. You were happy that he chose to allow tonight's events go, and focus on the good parts, but while things changed at a steady pace, there were moments like this and in between, like at the ice cream shop which made you conscious of his want of family; of intimacy; of closeness to chase away all the lonely shadows which were always around the corner. You owed him a great deal, and honestly, you were in want of those things too. “I'm happy that you say that Rick,” you answered matter of factly. “because I can't wait for the day when it really is. Well, whenever you're home is ready to receive me.”
The hand which had been absentmindedly rubbing your arm stopped. And again, you heard him sniffle as was typical when he was emotional, and his heart was beating a little fast. You sincerely hoped you wouldn't hurt him with all this excitement. And when he calmed a little, he turned his body to face you, smiling softly at this possibility. “I-I-I look forward to that day too.”
________________
Pots and pans are moved around, and he began to make his special brew. Unlike the mediocre ingredients which you had in your home, Zeta-7 had some of the freshest, and most potent herbs and spices which could be found in this part of the world. If you hadn't known better you'd say they were brought straight from India, and then to your surprise, he proceeded to tell you that they were, and how he regularly visits when he can. With delight, he tells of the exotic culture, of its people, the food, and the points of interest that would never be found in travel pamphlets; painting scenes and landscapes.
Like always he knew how to match your mood to a flavor, and give you just what you needed. From the cabinets, and from the pantry he retrieved what he needed, and lined them up on the counter. Whole cloves, green cardamom pods, cinnamon sticks, which he breaks into pieces, freshly chopped ginger, ground nutmeg, white peppercorns, star anise, and loose black tea. Soon, the air was full of spices, and the Masala Tea was near completion; it was your favorite and made you think of many other similar times when you two sat together over tea to discuss many a topic which was suitable to talk about in the evening. With care, Rick poured his concoction into your new mug, and he poured his into a Shoney's mug and lightened both with milk, and sweetened them with honey. With the spoon he used to stir, he tasted it to be sure, then held it out to you. “I hope it's t-to your liking.”
“You know it always is, for you know what I like.” The first sip is heavenly, and you sigh happily as he watches you in amusement. “Rick, what's so funny?”
He holds your gaze for a moment, before he chuckles. “It's a-a secret.”
You stuck out your tongue, but he doesn't relent and goes on to drinking his tea. Zeta-7 can be a tease when he wanted to be, but he isn't so unkind as to not apologize. “I'm sorry, I-I-I don't mean to offend you or anything, but I'd love to make it up to you if you'd let me. I um - I got something for you.”
Pulling several small boxes from his inner suit pockets, which were definitely bigger in the inside, he handed them to you. “When I was on Mars last month, I saw a few things that reminded me of you. Do you want t-t-to know what they are?”
“Rick, you didn't have to do this. You spoil me enough as it is, but I would like to know.”
“Gosh, I wanted t-t-to do it. After all, y-you are my favorite.”
“I better be.” you winked. “Should I open it now?”
“If y-y-you want to. I hope y-you will like them.”
Taking a deep breath, you carefully unwrapped the sparkly gift paper and opened the first box which had a precious rose quartz apple brooch that you had only seen on TV. “Is this what I think it is?”
“Almost. Y-you see, on Mars, they manufacture a-a lot of - many similar products which you could find on Earth, except they tend t-to be more technological. This, for example, was originally made t-to act as a decorative cooling device for those really hot Martian days, but I modified it t-to do this.”
Cupping your hands with his, you gasped as it warmed your hands, and an inner calm took over you. He continued. “It'll calm you down any time you feel overwhelmed, and it doubles as a-a hand warmer. All y-you have to do is think good thoughts, and it'll magnify them.”
Unable to see where the hidden technology and mechanisms were, you wondered. “Is it magic?”
“Hohoho, if y-you want it to be. I-I-I know you don't - don't always like how you're meds make y-you feel and I wanted you to be able to be comfortable. And it'll come in handy when winter comes a-around.”
Trying it for yourself, it made you wonder as it soothed you if he had used properties from those empathic plants that existed on the planet with the ioculus and giant flowers. Who knows, but it felt wonderful, like a balm for your soul. Opening the next box, there was a hair clip in the shape of a puppy dragon. “Oh my goodness,” you gasped. “this is just too precious. Rick, what did you…how did you... ”
“I-I know how much you love them. It's not like th-the real thing, but it's c-cute isn't it?”
You didn't hesitate to clip it on your hair, feeling your smile growing. “Its freaking adorable. Sweet, sweet cookie man, please tell me they make other jewelry with similar designs.”
“Hohoho, they do but th-they sort of double as weapons. The hair clip can only summon them when th-they are within range of-of course.”
“What if I wanted to be queen of the puppy dragons? You never know, maybe I'm a dangerous woman. I can be ferociously adorable. When I want to be.”
Zeta-7 seemed to be considering this idea, and you had to poke him to make him realize you had simply been joking; mostly joking. The last box which laid on your lap was a bit heavier, and there were several layers of holographic tissue paper you had to peel away before you finally saw what it was. You felt tears prick at the back of your eyes sight of it; a miniature glass terrarium necklace, with a shrunken sunflower that had an iridescent shimmer on its petals.“You couldn't have bought this. Did you make it?”
“I-I did for the most part. That's a hybrid sunflower that can only be found on the Citadel, and I used metals that can rival gold and silver in its durability. It's - I-I-I could go into the mechanics of it, but I-I think that would ruin the surprise. M-mi corazón, if-if you look inside you'll see what I-I see when I think of you.”
Staring at it intently, it took a retina scan to verify the user, and then you saw clips of his memories of you. You saw yourself from his perspective, dancing around him while wearing your hello kitty pajamas; of you all sniffly and sick on the couch; that time you had flour on your cheeks after your failure in baking; of you blowing kisses; of you fast asleep amongst all the plants of his conservatory; of your joy as you pointed to things from the ferris wheel; of your hands as you touched up his makeup on his arms; of painting; of your tears and surprise; of huddling for warmth; of feeding his turtles; of you standing in the rain, drenched from head to toe; of you handing him clover; of your right above him, tickling and kissing him in the grass; of your Rick cosplay; of you standing in the half light of the moon; as a princess, confused as to who was who as you stepped into the ballroom; of hundreds of butterflies shielding you; trying to hide a shameless amount of candy; of you commanding plants to your will; of you sitting on the ground with a scraped knee and mess of Doritos and very surprisingly of you as a child handing him a rose from your father's garden before it all faded away. “I can't believe this.” you gasped, looking away in favor of Rick. “You've met me before?”
Scratching the back of his neck, he confessed sadly. “Yeah.”
“So when you said it wasn't the first time you waited for me, then what? You really did meet me as a child? In this dimension?”
“It's a-a long story. You probably wouldn't even remember.”
“Why didn't you say anything?”
“For very similar reasons as t-to why I had to wait in your dream. It's - I've known a-about you even before y-you were born, but that's - that's a-a different story for another day. As I said, it's a-a-a really long story, but I promise t-t-to tell you everything.”
He saw you grow up in real life and in a dream, he must have known about you for years. And yet, he waited. Why? That brought up so many other questions, but for now, you only considered him with a softer, deeper affection. “You're full of surprises aren't you? Always one step ahead of me. I'd say that's not fair, but I don't have a right to. You always have a good reason. You….you really do know me, don't you?”
Feeling warm lips on your temple, he chuckled. “N-n-not everything, but I like t-to try. I doubt anyone could know everything, but I- I like you. I-I-I know you could do better, but I just want you.”
“To think that all I wanted was for you to like me more.”
“Hohoho, I doubt I-I could like you less. Y-you're everything to me.”
Leaning down towards you, he captured your mouth in a firm kiss, and you tugged on his tie to bring him closer. He tasted like cardamom and promises, was everything and you couldn't think of a better way to end your date, but then to you disappointment, you heard the familiar sound of a portal and a couple of guard Ricks stepped through; their dimension numbers worn prominently on thier chests. “Yo ding dong, breaks over. They need you back in the lab pronto!” And when they fully stepped into the kitchen, they joked amongst themselves about how such a good for nothing Rick be capable of knowing what to do with a woman, let alone be so well acquainted with one.
Zeta-7 visibly winced at their laughter since they had come at an inopportune time, but for your sake tried to remain strong. “I-I-I guess our date really is over.”
“It was nice while it lasted.”
“Come on Doofus,” yelled the head guard. “we don't have all day. You can play with her later.”
“I'm - I'm sorry about this,” he whispered. “I sh-should have told you that there was a-a chance of being called into work.”
“Don't worry, I'm sure they need you for something really important. You know I'll be here when you come back. Don't you? I'll be fine, really I will be. Be careful Ricky. I love you.”
Pulling you into a tight hug, he was hesitant to let you go, but at the urging of his superior, he let go with a frustrated sigh, removed his suit jacket, and grabbed his lab coat and followed after them. Once gone, you cleaned up, and wiped down the counters and table. Seeing his jacket, and not wanting it to wrinkle, you picked it up and hung it in the hallway closet. Though, once it was hung, you noticed a slight bulge in one of the inner pockets. You had a feeling, though thinking it could possibly be otherwise, you reached down, and pulled out a box; a single glance to confirmed it. Zeta-7 had intended to make an honest woman out of you.
With shaky hands, you slipped it over your ring finger, and felt hot tears run down your cheeks; you had possibly ruined his opportunity to propose. When you felt that you had worn it for an inappropriate amount of time, you pulled it off and placed it back in the box; it wasn't yours yet. You two only wanted to make each other happy, but there would always be obstacles and peculiar incidents along the way. And this….you certainly hope he wouldn't change his mind and try again; whenever that time would be.
Fin
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existentialstatesofmind · 7 years ago
Conversation
Weekend Fun
Clare: looked around the table. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask who Bren was but something about the way Kota's family was acting made her think she should just wait until Dakota was ready to tell her himself. Especially since even his mom didn't want to about him. She mentally did a head count trying to figure out if it was possible that Dakota had another brother. Clare thought she'd meet everyone but she realized now that includding Kota there were 'only' four brothers plus Kelly but Dakota had specifically said he had five sibilings and only one sister. When Clare had met everyone she'd assumed that he'd worded that badly and meant there were six kids in his family. "Good to know, I just won't go in there." Clare didn't plan to explore Dakota's house by herself anyway. She smiled at Stacy knowing if she'd made it this long without angering the Grandma's spirit, Clare would be just fine. Besides the Andersons didn't strike Clare as being super uptight about things like girls sleeping in the same beds as boys. As long as they weren't doing anything it was fine. Such a nice change. Clare often felt like she couldn't be herself around her family because they'd judge her for having so many friends who were boys. It was dumb, she wasn't going over to their houses to play kissing games or anything else they were so worried about. Why couldn't her parents just trust her? Clare was confused when she realized Dakota and his sibilings weren't talking about their Grandma being in their hearts and memories. Had they really divided up her ashes?! Clare wasn't going to ask. There were somethings she didn't need to know (she'd be spooked if she found out Kota kept his piece in his pocket somtimes, for example), and it might've been in her will. Clare didn't expect Emi to answer everything she asked her. It was a lot and Emi was only five. She just wasn't going to underestimate Emi and talk down to her. She had hated it when teenagers and adults did that to her. "Yeah! Like how some words in English start with a hard or soft C." She looked at the paper Emi wrote on. "The second symbol is the ee sound?" Clare checked to make sure she had it right. Clare wasn't sure if she would recognize it on a menu (so she'd know not to order it). Maybe if she tried to practice drawing the symbols at home for fun. They'd never look like Emi's. It was a beautiful language though and Clare was interested in learning what she could. "English is a lot easier than Japanese but we don't start learning how to write in cursive until third grade and then we're not allowed to turn in papers in print again until middle school. At least the symbols you can already draw are cool. Plus you get to learn more languages than the other kids around here." Clare comforted her. If she was here long enough, she'd be taking French in school and could chose Spanish as an elective too. "I'd rather play with a live octopus than eat it too." She admitted, smiling and laughing at Emi's story. "I hope we can get it fried. However, the California roll sounds delicious. I love avocados and I like crab too so imitation meat is fine by me." Clare smiled at Kota. "I can't wait to go to New York, it sounds like my kind of city." Her parents had promised a trip there. She just didn't know when. With the way things were going, she seriously doubted they'd all go as a family. It would probably be like the ski trip she took to Maine with Dad and Darcy while Mom stayed home. "Oh. Is Tokyo far from where you lived?" Clare kissed him softly in reply. She'd been oblivious. She thought Dakota had a girlfriend at another school and wanted to be the kind of friends who gave each other dating advice. Even when she'd found out he didn't, Clare just didn't think she'd be his type. Sometimes you got a second chance to be a first girlfriend and that was pretty special. Clare didn't see any reason why she couldn't consider Dakota her first real boyfriend if their trial period went well. K.C took her on all of one date, it hadn't been much of a relationship. She'd actually spent more time 'dating' Eli before realizing they'd rather stay friends. After they rode back to the Andersons, Clare got out of the van and waited on Dakota to get Emi. She went inside with them after it was decided that Bren wasn't there despite the light being on. "Okay. If Bren asks for it." Clare told Kota's mom hesitantly not sure what it meant when a mom gave you permission to hit a son you hadn't met yet. He must be a troublemaker since she'd sent Bren, and only Bren away to school, and he'd gotten expelled. No one seemed to like him. Up until now, Clare thought Dakota had a great relationship with all of his sibilings. To her they were all really lucky. Her much smaller family didn't have as much love to go around. This turn of events was surprising. She put the bag from the restaurant in the Anderson's icebox while Dakota was gone. After they'd walked to his room, Clare took off her shoes too. "Thank you. How cute, I love it." She said referring to the bathroom's sign. She raised her hand up to touch the sign, her fingers traced lightly over the writing before Clare went inside the bathroom carrying the bag Kelly had given her earlier. "I'll take purple." Clare said selecting a soft-bristled tooth brush. "Has this been approved by the American Dental Association?" She joked since they'd been talking about Home Alone at the restaurant. Soon as Dakota left, she took off everything except her panties and put on the grey pj pants and pink short sleeve shirt from Victoria's Secret. Clare stuffed her clothes in the bag and checked her reflection before leaving the bathroom. She got into the bed, wrapping herself in the blanket like they'd talked about so they could cuddle without it being super awkward. Clare looked at Dakota shyly and lay on her side facing him, she rested her head on his chest. "Is this okay? Are you comfortable?"
Kota: watched as Emi taught Clare about the symbols. "No, it makes the shi sound. There aren't any ee sounds in Japanese." she corrected. "Good night has six symbols." she said and started to write the symbols. "O-ya-su-mi-na-si." she said pointing to each symbol. "That's the thing Emi has trouble with." Kota pointed out. "She knows more languages and sometimes uses them." he added. "So do you." Emi whined. "That girl was lost." he stated. "Pero el telefono?" Emi asked looking at him. "Again, the person didn't know English. Were you listening in?" he asked her. "I tried to listen into your other conversation, but you were talking too fast." she said honestly. "That's because the other person was in New York and that's how fast they talk." he explained and listened to Clare talk to Emi, then smiled at Clare when she smiled at him. "They talk faster than Eminem raps in New York." Ash pointed out. "Only if they're in a hurry or if you're ordering food at certain places. Normally they talk as fast as Eminem raps." he explained. "We decided to go to New York without Kota, biggest mistake in our life." Dom complained. "No calling him while he was with grandpa was the bigger mistake." Ash added and Kota looked at them. "That's because you hung up on me when I answered my phone, then again when I tried calling back. You even hung up on grandpa." Kota stated. "That's because you answered in Spanish." Dom argued. "I was in freaking Spain. I thought you were a client, you called grandpa's phone. When I called back you told me 'English' then hung up the three times I tried calling." he stated. "But you hung up on us when we called your phone." Ash said. "Because I was busy and couldn't play your game." Kota said honestly. "Stop fighting." Emi stated and Kota sighed. "Lo siento." he said looking at her. "Esta bueno, pero no mas." she said sticking her tongue out at Ash and Dom. "No mas." he assured and with a smile and both Ash and Dom apologized as well. "It's only good if you can talk fast to understand and keep up with the New Yorkers. I mean we got invited by grandpa to the same places he took Kota, but we'd have to be there three days after they were since they were there on business for the first three days and the food they were eating seemed odd at the time so we didn't go." Dom stated. "Fried plantains are great." Kota said looking at them. "Should've accepted. We aren't going on business trips any time soon." he confirmed. "I have to take over MB and work on new products, we start selling them in America soon." he said honestly. He kissed Clare back as she asked Emi the question. "Well, we lived in part of Tokyo called Narita, Chiba Prefecture. It's over an hour to Tokyo City." she stated. When they were getting ready for bed, Kota listened to Clare say she was taking purple and nodded, then laughed a bit when she asked about the toothbrush knowing she was joking. Once she joined him in his bed and they were cuddling, he nodded. "Yea, I'm comfortable." he whispered and kissed her head before falling asleep.
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existentialstatesofmind · 7 years ago
Conversation
Weekend Fun
Clare: smiled at Dakota and then glanced at Stacy when she spoke. She nodded. "Okay. That makes sense, I just think I'm the one who is getting to better end of the bargain." She didn't elaborate because Dakota already knew how miserable things were at home right now and she was trying to keep Stacey out of it. "It will be. There's no point in rocking the boat until it becomes necessary." She didn't know when that was going to be. Once she turned 18, her parents wouldn't be able to use the whole Dakota having custody of a child thing to keep them apart because Dakota would no longer be a minor either and they'd no longer have a stay so in who she dated anyway. Clare knew she couldn't wait that long to tell them though. She would only be turning 16 this year. "Dad won't be home." She promised. If she had to she could tell her parents an abridged version of why Josephine couldn't come over when he was there but it probably wouldn't be necessary to complicate things further. Clare smiled at Stacy and Dakota, and nodded in agreement. Then she looked at Dakota's mom curiously when she said she was going to adopt Josephine. From what his mom was saying it might be what was best for Josephine but who knew how Josephine really felt. Family matters were complicated. If Dakota considered Josephine his sister and his mom agreed, it changed things in her mind though. Her parents couldn't dispute whatever 'story' Clare told them. Adoption was actually something her parents advocated for and respected so Clare didn't forsee them asking nosey questions about that if it were true. Not that she should be thinking about herself right now. Josephine needed out of a bad situation. Clare shrugged to say that was fine when Dakota said she'd be sleeping in his room whenever she slept over. She doubted Dakota was ready for a physical relationship after everything she'd learned about him today and he knew she wasn't. It might be uncomfortable sharing a bed but they'd get used to it. Plus she wouldn't be staying the night often. At first she was confused when they started talking about a grandmother. She didn't know their grandmother lived with them. She got why having her there full time might not be great, Clare couldn't handle more than a few weeks at a time with her grandma. Then Clare got it, their grandmother died and they thought the room was haunted. Clare couldn't help laughing. "No, I don't need to be brave and go in there. I've seen Poltergeist a dozen times so the TV cutting on by itself is kind of creepy..." She playfully poked Dakota's shoulder. "How am I supposed to impress your grandmother if I sleep in your room though, she might come in there and throw a shoe at me." Her eyes widened when Emi talked about the deceased old lady giving her candy. If she wasn't actually haunting her own room she'd obviously left a lasting impression since her family was taking good care of the room and everything in it. Clare smiled sheepishly. "Right of course not, I should've thought of that. How do tourists find their way around? We might have a really hard time even with Emi's help and a Japanese dictionary app. Of course we should be able to use our phones to get directions in English. Hopefully." She looked at the paper. Clare knew the Japanese used symbols instead of words in their language. But she certainly hadn't known what it was called or how the symbols looked. "This is really cool Emi. I've never seen anything like it." Clare told her. "How does learning sounds work? Still, it was very clever of you to figure out how many strokes you needed. You're good at drawing." Clare didn't think she would be able to learn much Kanji. French was hard enough to learn and they had the same alphabet. "I believe it, I knew the languages they use in places like Japan and China was more complex than ours and the hardest to learn but jeeze." She exclaimed to Dakota. "I don't know how I feel about octopus. Have you tried it Emi? I might like it better than I would Sushi. I hate fish so raw fish doesn't really sound appetizing to me." She admitted. "Besides if it's grilled I know they at least took the eyes out. I'm not sure about the tentacles though. Food aside, it sounds like so much fun!" She grinned. "Good idea, I bet there's a lot more to do and I wanna dance with you." Clare said shyly. If she was going to have on pretty robes they shouldn't go to waste. "I can't wait. I hope I don't embarrass you too much, Emi, because I'm going to be taking lots of photos." She chuckled. "Okay fair point. What was Time Square like, were they filming anything? But the toy stores always looked really cool on Home Alone 2, were they like that?" No wonder he got lost. "I don't need pom-poms just clapping. Aww a banner would be nice, no one's ever done that for me before." Clare beamed at him. She was lucky to have a thoughtful boyfriend. "Do you like robots?" She asked Emi hopefully. Clare returned the chaste kiss before raising an eyebrow at Dakota. "But we weren't even dating until today, someone must've been pretty confident I would say yes." She teased him. Clare kissed him again. She hadn't even known he liked her and would never have dreamed of going on a date with him. Clare followed Dakota when he carried Emi out to the car. "Of course." She said quietly. "I know where the kitchen is now so I'll put them in the icebox." Clare buckled her seat belt and reached for Dakota's hand.
Kota: nodded at Clare's words as she spoke about Jos and her parents. "She won't throw a shoe at you. She's only ever hit Bren alive and dead." Dom stated. "Let's not talk about Bren until he passes." his mom said and they nodded. "You don't really need to make an impression on her. She doesn't leave her room. Never has, so if you don't go in there, you're fine." Kota stated honestly. "I never met her and I don't plan to. I also stay in Dallas' room a lot." Stacy assured. "Plus part of Grandma's always with us." Dom said honestly. "Not really, that part of her is always in my closet. Like I want Grandma with me when I use the bathroom." Kota stated. "Part of her is in my purse." Kelly shrugged. "Am I the only one that keeps part of her with me?" Ash asked and Kota looked around. "Apparently." Dom answered. Kota listened as Clare asked Emi questions and wondered if she could answer them, though he knew if she couldn't he would. "Um..." Emi trailed off looking for words. "You know how you learn the ABC's then the sounds the letter's make?" Emi asked. "We do something like that. We learn our alphabet and the sounds they make. The symbols change when you form words just like the sounds of the letters in the ABC's change." she tried explaining and wrote " す し" on a paper and showed it to Clare. "That's the sound for Sushi. The first symbol makes the shu sound." she said and took the paper back only to write "寿司" on a paper, then showed Clare again. "And that's sushi when it's written out. I memorized the symbols off a restaurant that way I'd know momma was getting sushi for dinner." she explained. "The sounds are easier and we learn them first. We don't fully learn how to write until we finish middle school since there are over a thousand symbols that take so long to learn." she huffed the last part and thanked Clare about her drawing. Hearing her ask if she had octopus she nodded. "I only had it fried. I watched someone try to eat it still living and it looked dangerous, they couldn't get the octopus out of their mouth." she explained. "I won't eat it at restaurants because they serve them whole and they dance when you put soy sauce on it. Momma got mad because I liked to make them dance so much and wouldn't eat them." she shrugged. "As for sushi, you need to try a California roll, no fish." Kota said looking at Clare. "It's rice, seaweed, fake crab, and avocado." he added and looked at Emi. "Everyone already takes a lot of photos so it's not embarrassing." she smiled at Clare. "Yea, they were just like they were on Home Alone 2, they weren't filming when I was there though." he explained. "Everything is huge in Time Square including the pizza." he added. "I haven't seen a robot. They were only in Tokyo." She stated honestly as she ate her food. "I was hoping you'd say yes." Kota smiled into the kiss. Once Emi was buckled in, Kota held Clare's hand the entire ride home. As soon as they got home, Kota smiled and unbuckled Emi and watched everyone get out of the van. "Um, can I carry Emi?" Stacy asked catching Kota off guard and to look at her. "The light in the house is on. I really don't want to deal with Bren." Stacy whined a bit causing Kota to get out of the car and look at Dallas when he stepped by them. "Is Bren home?" he asked curiously. "No, mom's inside and there's no yelling." Dallas assured causing him to sigh in relief. "Thank goodness he's not coming home." he said honestly. "I agree." Stacy sighed in relief as well as Kota lead Clare inside. He could immediately hear his mom fiddling with stuff in the kitchen and walked there holding Emi and Clare's hand still. "Bren got expelled." his mom said honestly. "I'm putting him in public school with Ash." She added and Kota looked behind him to see Ash. "I want videos. Lots of videos." he stated. "Anyway they didn't say when they're sending Bren home. Clare, if you're here feel free to hit Bren as much as you want want." His mom stated as she started to bake. "He was switched at birth." Kota stated. "Sadly he wasn't, I did a DNA test the moment you boys came up with that theory. Mom and I started to believe he really was switched at birth." Kelly said and Kota shifted Emi a bit. "I'll take her, thinking about Bren coming home is blowing my mood. Cuddling with Emi tonight will take my mind off it, just get me her pajamas." Kelly said to Kota and he let go of Clare's hand to get Emi's pajamas for his sister. Once he got back he handed Kelly the pajamas and took Clare's hand. "I'm done with worrying about Bren coming home. We have one day of peace left and I plan on spending it with Clare and Emi. I'll worry about what to do with him after he comes home." Kota stated and started to walk to his room with Clare, picking up the bag for her as they walked. Once they got to his room, he shut the door behind them and took off his slippers, then his shirt. "The bathroom's right here." he said opening a door that has a sign that has Japanese writing on it. "The sign says bathroom since Emi mistook the closet next to it for the bathroom since the doors are the same." he said honestly as he stepped inside and took out a small box. "There are tooth brushes in here, take your pick, we don't have pink though." he said knowing there were all the other colors but pink and a lot of styles and brands. "I'll be out here when you're done." he said and shut the door behind him as he left. While he was waiting for Clare to finish, he changed into his pajama bottoms and got a blanket for Clare, then laid on his bed and covered up in his black blanket.
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