#would get help from someone in the series :(
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familiarity — l.cy
series ⭑.ᐟ [ kinktober masterlist ] content warning ⭑.ᐟ smut! minors dni!, ex!anton, fem!reader, pet names, dry humping, 'public' sex, unprotected sex, squirting, overstimulation. word count⭑.ᐟ 1.8k+
✩🎧⭑.ᐟ [ it's ok, i'm ok — tate mcrae ]
“ugh, are you kidding me?”
you were bummed that a friend couldn’t come pick you up for tonight’s halloween party because her boyfriend can’t keep his hands to himself. you already dressed up for tonight, all that’s left was for someone to come pick you up and come with you to the party.
thankfully, your friend had connections, or else you would’ve just moped around at home.
the only thing that’s holding you back, though, was the fact that it was your ex— something your so-called friend forgot to consider. now, you were shaking nervously on your couch, obsessing over your appearance and clothes.
you were dressed as a certain beloved comic book character, hair split into uneven pigtails, intentionally messy make-up, ruined cropped tee, booty shorts, fishnet stockings, and a bat in one hand to top it all off. you were quite the sight, and you knew he’d enjoy it just as much.
this costume was something you’ve been planning on for quite some time now ever since shotaro told you about his halloween party. you put a lot of time and effort into it, from accessories to altering the clothes you bought.
having your ex-boyfriend think that you put this much effort into your costume just because you found out he was picking you up today would be the last thing you wanted— and you know he’d bring up how you were still not over him at some point.
when the time came for him to come pick you up, you could’ve sworn he was checking you out from head to toe just as you expected.
normally, you would've felt flattered, but you were way past that now. you crossed your arms, “are you done? can we leave now?” anton chuckles softly, going around his car to open the car door for you.
for a very brief moment, you were surprised to realize that you’d be sitting at the back, not at the passenger seat like you always did. you hesitated, glancing at him awkwardly.
anton seems to have noticed, turning his head away to hide the growing smile on his face. it might’ve been months since you broke up but he could still tell what goes on in your mind, chuckling silently at how lost you looked.
”wanna take the passenger seat instead?” you beamed up at his suggestion, nodding quickly. anton smiles at you, nodding back.
unsurprisingly, anton looked as dashing as ever even if he was wearing a cheap swat uniform. black looked amazing on him, especially now with his hair reaching his shoulders. he looked good, too good actually.
he walked past you, stopping in his tracks when he felt something tugging at his pants. he looks down, seeing a velcro strip caught onto your fishnet stockings. anton tried to be discreet before you could catch on, pulling it gently.
”what are you doing?” you asked in a panicked voice when you felt the tugging on your thigh, turning your head to look at him. the darkness didn’t help and anton had to run his hands around to get a feel— ”anton?!” you squeaked out, surprised when he pinned you against the car door, upper body pressed flush against his window.
anton groans out, hands clumsily trying to break your stockings apart. his fingers grazing against your bare skin made him shudder, swallowing thickly as he gave into the temptation and gently caressed your thigh. he was getting sidetracked but he couldn't help it— he missed having you in his arms, way more than he liked to admit.
your skin felt soft and warm against his touch, scent overwhelming him from how sweet it was. anton could easily recall every single thing about you, every touch and caress that would drive you crazy.
”tell me to stop,” he sighed out, pressing his body against yours and sandwiching you in between his larger build and the cold car door. when you didn't respond, anton grabbed your ass, giving it a small squeeze, "look at me and tell me to stop."
you let out a shaky breath, turning your cheek towards him. anton cursed softly, the messy makeup you had on reminded him so much of the past; all the passionate nights after small squabbles where he got to apologize for his behavior and make it up to you.
"do you want to?" your voice came out quiet, hesitant even, but anton could hear it all. hell, he swore he could even hear how hard your heart was beating at that moment.
anton couldn't shake his head, breathing heavily against your neck as he leaned in. he nipped at your lobe before trailing wet kisses down your neck. his huge hand roamed around your body, warming you up effectively against the cold night air. he let out a sigh, brows furrowing at how familiar you felt and how easy it was to leave you trembling under his touch.
"need to hear a yes from those pretty lips, baby." you gasped softly, his hot breath fanning against your exposed neck. "i'll treat you so good, just give me the word," he groaned, hips starting to grind against your ass.
you whimpered, head spinning when you felt his cock starting to get harder, pressing onto your plush thighs. "fuck, yes," you breathed out, placing your hands on the car's window.
anton gripped on your hips, keeping you still as he slotted himself in between your legs. you pushed your ass out even more, swaying it against anton's movements. he moaned breathily into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
you were feeling lightheaded, body heating up from the slow but deep movements. you felt needy, whimpering at how familiar this feeling felt. there wasn't any affection involved, but you could almost fool yourself into loving him from just how much you wanted him in this moment alone.
"anton, this is so bad." he chuckled at your breathless murmurs, gripping on you tightly. he knew those were empty words, the way your hips moved against his was enough proof for him. anton badly wished that he could replace your lingering hatred for him with whatever he was making you feel right now, to just act like nothing bad ever happened between the two of you.
you shuddered at how desperate you were starting to feel, feeling heated from anton's teasing. "hurry," you breathed out, "just hurry, fuck, i need you. i need you bad, toni."
anton stilled his hips, eyes going wide for a brief moment before leaning in to press a soft kiss on your neck. "you have no idea how much i missed you," he whispered, voice laced with sweet desire.
"don't say shit you can't take back, anton." he laughs weakly, ignoring the disdain in your voice as he unapologetically tore more holes into your stockings before hooking his fingers up your shorts and tugging it up, leaving you gasping and whimpering at the pressure against your already sensitive core.
"baby, i have no reason to lie," he mumbled almost defensively. his hands moved busily, pulling your shorts down while his other hand unbuckled his belt. the fabric of his costume felt rough against your bare thighs, feeling it drop down as his hot length rested on your ass cheek.
you bit your lip, letting out a small noise when he slapped his heavy cock against your plump ass. "missed that, baby?" anton teased, smirking at every little reaction you gave him.
"tell me what else you missed about me and i'll give it to you like a good girl."
you wanted to complain, really, but the temptation was too great. his hands dug into your skin, warmth seeping into your core. his hands— you’ve missed them terribly, body tingling in response to his desperate touches. but more importantly, you missed having him inside of you.
you whimpered, resting your forehead against the vehicle’s window. “please,” you gasp, “i need you inside.”
anton chuckles, nuzzling his cheek against the crook of your neck. he pressed a kiss on your skin, leaving you shivering from the contact. “anything,” he whispered, “anything you want, darling.”
he pulled away slightly, gripping on his length while he pushes your shorts to the side. he mumbled soft curses, face contorting in pleasure as he rubs the tip of his cock against your wet entrance. anton pushed his cock inside, drawing out that sweet, breathless gasp from your plump lips.
”i fucking missed this,” he moans breathlessly, resting his head against your shoulder. anton began to move in a steady rhythm, your walls clinging onto him snugly. “always so needy,” he brought his hand down onto your ass, the loud smack echoing in the empty streets. “always so tight for me,” he gasps softly, brows furrowing.
you whimpered, legs starting to tremble. your voice grew louder, crying out at the increasing pace. anton’s hips snapped against yours, leaving you moaning and whimpering. he pressed on your back, pressing you closer to him and splitting your legs open even more. you cried his name, encouraging him to go faster, until you couldn’t take any more— just the way you liked it.
”take it,” he panted, “take all of me, baby.” you whimper, body melting from the overwhelming pleasure you felt for the first time in months. anton snaked his hand around your waist, gripping on you tightly.
”you’re close, yeah? i could tell,” he mumbled against your flushed skin. you clawed on the window, breath fogging up the tinted surface. your body tensed up, voice going up a pitch higher as he pressed his cock deeper and deeper with every thrust. he rubbed on your lower stomach, feeling his cock bulging as he thrusted deep.
you sobbed softly, barely keeping yourself up as your orgasm began to build up. “anton,” you moan, “keep going— fuck!” anton happily complied, smiling against your skin and leaving small bites on your shoulder. he panted, hands shaking as he reached down to roll your swollen clit, further amplifying your pleasure and leaving you shaking under his touch.
”fuck, fuck— oh, anton!” you cried, trembling as you came. he held you up, fingers still rubbing circles against your clit. he kept moving his hips, drawing out your orgasm for as long as you could take it.
”i know you could give me more than that, baby.” you whimper, sobbing sensitively as he kept pressing on your sensitive walls. warmth began to build up in your lower stomach, hips jerking from how sensitive you felt.
anton whispered praises into your ear, slowly driving you insane. his movements began to get sloppy, starting to reach his own high as your walls kept clenching down on his throbbing length. you weakly cried his name, fists balling up as you squirted all over his cock.
anton pressed your body against his, shuddering slightly as he came deep inside you. “fuck,” he mumbled, dragging his lips against your neck, lazily leaving kisses in its trail.
you panted heavily, resting your cheek against the window. you sighed, “i need a minute after that.”
he chuckles, kissing your jaw, “still plan on going to that party? i can bring you somewhere nice.” you sighed at his tempting offer. “somewhere warmer, perhaps?”
right. you two were still outside— at a residential neighborhood. if you were lucky enough, your mom would hopefully be asleep by now. how horrific.
”somewhere far,” you whispered, “i don’t think i can face my mom’s neighbors after this.”
#૮ > ⤙ < ྀིა#riize imagines#riize scenarios#riize x reader#riize smut#anton imagines#anton scenarios#anton x reader#anton smut#ddollemons#ddlz: lcy#✧₊⁺ kinktober24
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Evergreen | Chapter Five: Acceptance
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Chapter Summary: It's almost Christmas, so you take the time to reflect on your accomplishments while enjoying the peaceful life you've created with Joel.
Chapter Warnings: language, soft!joel, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected piv sex, food and alcohol consumption, Christmas, so much fluff it hurts
WC: 5.1K
Series Masterlist
"Alright, try some of this."
Ellie set down her spiked hot chocolate on your kitchen counter and stood to take the spoon from your hand. She blew on the soup before sampling a small taste and vigorously nodding her head.
"That's fucking amazing, we should make that a regular item."
You grinned and tossed the spoon in your sink before maneuvering around her to reach the spice rack. Your new house was just a two-bedroom ranch and the small kitchen took some getting used to, but you finally made the rented space feel like home. Although when you and Ellie occasionally found yourselves crammed in your kitchen to test some new products for the food truck, you couldn't help but long for the beautiful kitchen you used to have.
"I think I'll add this and take off the turkey chili, it doesn't do too well," you said before turning to your fridge and scribbling something on the white board. It was close to Christmas and you had already introduced your cold-weather menu for the food truck, but you were always actively looking to make tweaks where it was needed.
"Sarah really likes the chili," Ellie reminded you.
"I'll make her a big batch and divide it up so she can freeze it when she goes back to school."
"Is she helping out on the truck tomorrow?" Ellie asked before picking her hot chocolate back up, then she wandered over to your living room to examine some ornaments on your tree.
"Yeah, she's helping all day. Joel's gonna get a kick out of seeing her on the truck for the first time," you laughed. You checked the time and turned off the burners before lifting the huge pot of soup with a grunt and setting it on an unused side of the stove to cool. Joel and Tommy's crew were working on a retail storefront and you had promised to stop by with the truck for lunch the following day. You had figured it was in a busy part of town and you were hoping to also capitalize on all the holiday shoppers.
Chicks 'n Chicken specialized in, well, chicken, as the name implied, but when the weather turned colder, you realized sandwiches just wouldn't cut it for the winter, so you began to add soups and stews to pair with your signature sandwiches like The Ellie, The Sarah, and The Joel. It was the first big idea you had when you finally took the plunge and started a food truck: every sandwich was named after someone important to you, including sandwiches named after Mia and Daniel.
At first, it was hard. Really fucking hard. Harder than you expected. There was so much to do behind the scenes: bookkeeping, inspections, keeping the truck and your machines up to code just to name a few. Joel was a huge help with the business side of things and you were eternally grateful for his insight. In return, you let him be your taste-tester, a job he adored and took very seriously.
Once you got the boring stuff out of the way, things got much better. You hired Ellie to assist you, and even her girlfriend Dina worked part-time. The two of them painted the truck these gorgeous, vibrant colors and helped you design the menu, and before you knew it, you were up and running.
The first couple weeks were slow and steady. You didn't expect to make much right off the bat, but you would have been lying if you said you weren't slightly disappointed you didn't do more business.
But then Sarah and Ellie came to the rescue, and your entire world changed.
They had clued you in to the latest social media app and helped you create an account. They must have been avid users because they always knew what was trending, which is how you managed to create a video that went viral overnight. It was the three of you doing some silly dance to a song you had never heard before inside the truck. When you watched it, you cringed and begged them to delete it, but they promised it would be a hit. And boy, were they right.
Just a few months later, you were closing in on one million followers. The girls kept your page fresh and relevant and if you were a lesser person, you might have been a little put out that your marketing degree essentially became useless when competing with two girls in their twenties who were apparently chronically online.
But you absolutely loved it. You were beyond thrilled you had been so unexpectedly successful so quickly. It was the best gift you could ever have received, and you told them so every time they pestered you for Christmas gift ideas.
"Your parents coming up for Christmas?" Ellie asked when she spotted a framed picture you had of them next to your couch.
"Uh... my mom is, yeah," you said, dusting your hands on the sides of your jeans as you moved around your kitchen. Ellie picked up on the tone in your voice and swiveled around.
"But not your dad?"
You shook your head and pulled out the biggest Tupperware containers you could find.
"No. He's not thrilled with some of the choices I've made," you told her, keeping your gaze focused on your work so she wouldn't see the hurt in your eyes.
"The food truck or Joel?"
You cleared your throat and shrugged. "Both. He thinks I'm investing Daniel's money in something where I'll end up failing and he is not okay with Joel being a few years younger than him."
"Shit. I'm sorry," Ellie said softly, joining you back in the kitchen. "That's fucked. But at least your mom sounds cool, right?"
"Well, she's coming around to it. It'll be her first time meeting Joel and I'm really hoping once she sees us together and how great he is, she can report back to my dad and maybe change his mind."
"Ha, no pressure, right?" she laughed. You grinned and finally turned to face her.
"You know what? I'm starting to not even care. Is that bad?" you asked with a guilty look on your face. But before she could answer, you continued. "I mean, I'm happy. I'm successful. Joel and Sarah are amazing. Should I even care if they agree with my choices or not? I'm an adult. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my parents but I'm not willing to sacrifice my own happiness for it."
"Hell yeah, man," Ellie said while toasting you with her hot chocolate. "You got the right headspace. Therapy is doing you good."
"Yeah, surprisingly, it kind of is," you said with a chuckle. An alarm went off on your phone and you glanced at it curiously before your eyes widened in panic. "Shit! I promised Joel I'd be over for dinner, I gotta clean up and get the hell out of here." You snatched your apron off and then your eyes locked onto the huge vat of piping hot soup on your stove.
"I'll handle it. Go!" Ellie said, waving her hands. "I'll lock up before I leave."
"Are you sure?" you asked, but you were already backing out of the kitchen.
"Absolutely. I'll watch some movie or something while I wait. Dina's working at the bookstore til ten, anyway."
"You're the greatest, Ellie, thank you!" you called over your shoulder as you disappeared into your bedroom to change.
"How is it you look prettier every time I see you?"
You giggled when Joel's scruffy beard scraped against the side of your neck, then melted into his arms when they circled around you from behind.
"Did you know you left the oven on? You're lucky you didn't burn the place down," you teased, tilting your head to give his lips better access.
"I was just takin' a quick shower, I knew there was plenty of time left."
He wasn't wrong. The lasagna he made still needed fifteen more minutes. Joel had actually gotten a lot better at cooking over the last few months. He liked to give you all the credit since he spent so much time watching you in the kitchen test new dishes for the food truck.
"And look at that," he murmured when he glanced at the timer. "Still got extra time. Any idea what we should do?"
"Are you looking to get dessert before dinner?" you asked, feigning shock. Joel chuckled against your throat before pressing himself against your ass and - shit, he wasn't joking.
"Been almost a week," he groaned against your ear. "Missed you so fuckin' much
"I missed you, too," you whispered before twisting around in his arms. You pressed your lips eagerly against his, getting lost in the familiar way you fit together. Whenever you were with Joel, your soul felt at peace. Everything seemed to make sense again and any stress faded away. But those things were difficult to explain to your parents without sounding insane, so you stopped trying, perfectly content with keeping the happiness he provided just between the two of you.
You blamed your weak resolve on the fact you had a stressful few days without him, craving the comfort only he could provide. That was why you found yourself less than five minutes later straddling his lap on the couch with your jeans abandoned somewhere on the floor behind you. Joel didn't even take his pants off all the way. He had shoved them down to his knees in a frenzy, desperate to feel you again after a long week.
The air stilled when you sunk down on his cock, the both of you too caught up in the feeling to remember to breathe.
"Oh, baby," he breathed, head tipping back to rest against the back of the couch. "Oh, that's it. That's my girl. There you go," he whispered, eyes glued to the way he disappeared inside you. You shifted and a small whimper slipped past your lips, pulling his gaze back up to you.
"How is that? Feel good?" he asked while circling his arms around your waist. You hummed and nodded before you started to move a little in his lap. You went slow at first while sharing deep, messy kisses. The hair from his beard burned your chin when he pried your mouth open wider, tongues swirling together amongst shared moans.
His big hands spread wide over your ribs, holding you against him to feel as close as possible while you slowly rocked your hips. He finally gave you a chance to breathe and broke the kiss, but then his mouth trailed down your throat and you held your breath anyway when his teeth grazed against the sensitive spot he made a mental note of last time.
"Missed you," he reminded you again as his lips ghosted over your collarbone. "Missed this. Missed feelin' this close to you."
"I know," you gasped, hands grabbing at his shoulders when he mouthed at your breast through your shirt. You started to move faster, encouraged by the delicious sting from his bite. "Fuck, Joel, do that again. Please," you whined.
He smirked and did the same playful bite to your other breast, cock twitching inside you when a low moan slipped past your lips.
"You like that?" he pressed. He loved it when you lost yourself in the moment, too engulfed with pleasure to hold yourself back. When he had you like that, you had no trouble asking for what you wanted. Your polite little filter vanished and you allow yourself to be selfish, to take what you want to make yourself feel good, and his chest puffed with pride every single time that you would choose him to be vulnerable with. You chose him to seek out everything you desired. You trusted him.
"Yes, Joel," you rasped. Your head was tipped backwards and your eyes had slid shut as you began to bounce faster on his lap. "Yes, Joel, I love it. I love it. Fuck, you feel so good. I can't - ah! - Christ, Joel, I love you-"
Time stood still with your words sitting heavy in the air. It took you a few seconds to realize what you said, then your eyes snapped open and you slapped a hand across your mouth in shock, hips freezing mid-air.
"I'm sorry," you mumbled, staring down at his surprised expression. "I didn't mean for that to be the first time-"
"But you did mean it?" he asked, stopping your muffled ramblings. Slowly, you nodded with watery eyes. He yanked your hand off your mouth and pulled you down for a searing kiss.
"I love you, too," he whispered happily against your mouth. His hips began to rock up into you, encouraging you to move with his hands firmly on your waist. "Keep going. Want you to come for me," he said with a grunt, lips still hovering centimeters away from yours. You nodded and began to move again, chasing the release you were moments away from tasting before you had panicked and stopped.
"C'mon, make yourself feel good. Take what you need, baby," he groaned when you bounced faster, breasts swaying underneath your shirt right in front of his face, teasing him. He lunged forward and pinched your nipple between his teeth right when his thumb began to work quick circles over your clit. You cried out his name, fingers clawing at his shoulders until he finally heard that content little broken moan and your release slowly trickled down his cock.
"Shit - gonna come," he growled. His hand left your clit so he could wrap both arms tightly around your middle, using you for leverage as he roughly fucked up into you. You had sagged forward, head resting on his shoulder while placing sweet kisses against his throat. You heard his harsh pants for air in your ear and smiled at the soft noises he made right before he stilled with a loud groan, pumping you full of his seed until his shoulders relaxed and he leaned back tiredly against the couch.
Your hand snaked around the back of his neck, turning his face towards you for a lazy kiss before whispering I love you one more time.
"I love you so goddamn much," he sighed, making you giggle. You pushed yourself up with a sigh, feeling groggy and satiated. You were in the middle of lovingly tracing the creases next to his eyes while he gazed up at you when the timer on the stove went off. You both groaned, neither of you ready to pull apart just yet, but the last thing you wanted was the smell of burnt lasagna permeating the house for the rest of the evening. With a gasp, you lifted yourself from his lap and turned to hunt for your panties on shaky legs.
"Go clean up, I got it," Joel said, standing and pulling his jeans up the rest of the way. You nodded and waddled towards the bathroom with your clothes while he tended to your dinner in the kitchen.
"So, you're comin' by the site tomorrow?" Joel confirmed around a mouthful of food. You nodded, only half listening to the television, your brain still blissfully quiet from earlier.
"Yep. Then after I'm meeting with this woman from the paper. They want to run a small piece on the truck, talk about the viral stuff, all that."
"My girl's gonna be in the paper?" Joel asked excitedly. You laughed, wanting to tease him for being one of the few people who still read an actual newspaper, but his support for you and your dream was so sweet that you didn't want to ruin it.
"Yep. Maybe even a picture, too."
"Well, damn. Look at you," Joel said softly, and you smiled at the tender look in his eye. "Gonna be famous. Can't wait to frame it. I'mma put one in my office at work and one here," he told you matter of factly. He pointed to the mantle, currently adorned with garland and christmas lights, where an old picture of him, Sarah and Mia sat, along with a picture of Tommy and Maria from their wedding day.
"I get to be on the mantle?" you asked excitedly.
"'Course you do. Woulda been up there sooner if we ever took a decent picture together."
"We take tons of pictures together," you began, but he quickly waved you off.
"And in all of 'em I look like shit."
"You do not! You look better than me most of the time with that goddamn smirk of yours," you teased, pinching his side when you added, "and you've lost almost twenty pounds."
Joel just laughed and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, taking your plate and stacking it with his before turning his attention towards the television. His thumb drew mindless circles over your arm and you listened to the peaceful, steady beat of his heart with your ear pressed against his chest.
Closing your eyes, you breathed deep and thought back on your life from the past several months. You had some curveballs thrown at you, sure, but given the circumstances, you were pretty damn happy with where you ended up: curled up next to the man you loved, listening to him mumble the wrong answers to Jeopardy amongst the twinkling lights from the Christmas tree.
"Howdy, girls!"
"Hey, Uncle Tommy!" Sarah called down from the window of the food truck. He grinned at her crooked black cap stitched with your company's name and logo on the front. Wild little pieces of hair stuck out from underneath, framing her face which was dusted with flour.
"Looks like you're workin' hard," he said, waving when he spotted you hurrying by behind her.
"It's crazy busy! We've been moving non-stop since we parked!" she exclaimed.
"Well, get ready, 'cause I just brought twenty hungry construction workers," he replied while jutting his chin down the sidewalk where his crew had been carefully walking around piles of snow that had been packed down and pushed around by the feet of holiday shoppers.
"Good timing, 'cause we just got through the lunch rush," she said before straightening up and turning to you and Ellie. "Hey, guys - my dad and his crew are on their way! Want me to drop some chicken in the fryer?"
"Yeah, toss in a tray of breasts and a tray of tenders to get us started," you said, wiping your hands on your apron before turning to Ellie. "And-"
"Yeah, I know, I got the bread out of the oven already."
You grinned and turned to give the three soups of the day a quick stir and did a quick check on the stock of paper products, confirming you were in a good enough spot to take on another wave of business when you heard a woman's voice call your name from the sidewalk, stopping you in your tracks. When you saw it was the reporter you had promised to meet with for the write up she was going to put in the paper, you felt your heart sink.
"Carmen, hi! We're getting another rush, I'm so sorry!" you said while leaning through the window to shake her hand. "Can I get like, twenty minutes?"
"Of course!" Carmen replied. "I have some shopping to do anyway, take your time."
You were in the middle of expressing your thanks when the truck was suddenly bombarded with Joel and Tommy's crew, their deep voices laughing and talking over one another while Ellie began to take some orders at the register. Before you got back to work, you spotted Joel and excitedly waved him over.
"Hey," you grinned as you practically hung half your body out of the window to grab his face and pull him in. He chuckled and leaned up to kiss you, his cold lips pressing against yours and urging them apart so he could slip his tongue inside your mouth.
"Hey! People are tryin' to eat!" Tommy laughed while playfully swatting at Joel's shoulder. You both laughed and pulled apart, too giddy and love drunk on each other to care.
"You're cold," you said after you pulled yourself back inside the truck. "Do you want some coffee?"
"Yes, please," Joel replied, eyes glittering with pride as he watched you move around the truck. When you stretched forward to hand him the cup, you winked and said, "On the house."
"How's the job going?" you asked as you worked on slicing up the bread Ellie had pulled from the oven. Tickets fluttered in front of you and Sarah gave Joel a big smile and wave when she dropped off chicken fresh from the fryer.
"Alright. Glad we're workin' inside today but place ain't rigged for heat yet so we're makin' do," he replied, taking a sip from his cup. "How's business?" he asked, nodding towards the truck. His eyes drifted fondly over the front where you had printed out the menu in huge letters. Every time he saw his daughter's or his wife's names, his throat tightened. You didn't have to name dishes after them, but you did. Practically insisted on it. It made him emotional back then and it continued to make him emotional whenever he saw it.
"Great! I was hoping to capitalize on holiday foot traffic and boy, did I."
Your eyes were glued to your work, chopping and slicing, making sandwiches and wrapping them in paper while scooping out soup from the huge vats behind you and bagging everything with ease.
You were in your element. This was what you were meant to do.
"Joel! Did you order yet or what?" Ellie called from the register.
"He always gets the same thing," Sarah reminded her with a playful hip check. Ellie rolled her eyes and stifled her grin.
"Oh, yeah, duh. You," she said, narrowing her eyes in your direction. You felt your cheeks warm and you smiled but kept your focus on your work.
"You don't always have to order my sandwich, you know," you teased him.
"Now how can you blame me when you taste so damn good?" Joel smirked from the sidewalk, instantly eliciting a groan of disgust from each of the girls.
"He means the sandwich!" you laughed, feeling all flustered and praying your embarrassment didn't show.
"Do I?"
"Joel!" you hissed with wide eyes as Sarah called him gross and Ellie covered her ears. He threw back his head and laughed while you shook your head with a permanent smile stretched across your face.
This is true happiness, you thought. This feeling could never be topped.
Once Joel and his crew ate and slowly disappeared back down the street towards the storefront they were working on, you washed your hands and checked your reflection before stepping out of the truck with your coat draped over your arm. You glanced around the now mildly crowded street, searching for Carmen and smiling when you locked eyes with her a few doors down carrying a couple shopping bags.
"Perfect timing," you said when she was within hearing range. "Thanks again. My boyfriend is working around the corner and brought his entire crew."
"No apology necessary," she replied warmly, then glanced around with a shiver. "Mind if we pop into this coffee shop? Shouldn't take more than half an hour."
You happily agreed and followed her inside the warm café, breathing in deep the scent of cinnamon and smiling to yourself when you heard the faint sound of Christmas carols filtering through the speakers.
Carmen wasted no time. She dove right in, asking you how you came up with the idea for the food truck and then segueing right into the viral video Ellie and Sarah created that got you such a cult following. You explained that Ellie was a friend, leaving out how you met for her own privacy, and how Sarah was Joel's daughter.
"I'm noticing these names are familiar," Carmen said with a smile.
"Yeah, I named sandwiches after important people in my life. It felt like a sweet way to honor them and express my gratitude," you explained. Carmen hummed and reviewed her notes, phone recording quietly on the table between you.
"May I ask, then, who are Mia and Daniel?"
You cleared your throat and gave her a brave smile.
"They're no longer with us," you began. Softly, Carmen murmured, oh, I'm sorry, while scribbling something on her notepad. "It's okay. Daniel was my fiancé. He passed away over a year ago from a car accident. And Mia was Sarah's mom."
Carmen nodded thoughtfully as she continued to write.
"Oh, so you knew Sarah's mom, too?"
"Well, no," you said, "but based on how much Sarah and Joel have told me, it feels like I've met her."
"That's sweet," Carmen said, letting her pen drop on her notepad. "And these sandwiches - do they reflect anything significant about the people they're named after?"
"They do," you replied while straightening in your chair. "I tried to make the sandwiches based on each person's preference. For instance, Mia loved spice, so hers is a fried spicy chicken sandwich with chipotle mayo. Which I find hilarious because neither Joel or Sarah can handle any amount of spice," you said with a soft laugh.
Carmen nodded and laced her fingers together.
"And how about the sandwich named after you?"
"Well, that was the very first one we created and decided should be on the menu," you said. "I hadn't even thought about names yet but the girls convinced me I should name it after myself and I guess they've got a knack for persuasion."
Carmen laughed and you felt your shoulders relax a bit, not even realizing you were tense until that very moment.
"Well, it's incredible, I must say. I was sneaky last week and got one for myself when you were out on Brunswick."
You gasped, feigning dismay and making her laugh.
"Thank you, I'm so happy to hear that," you replied with a wide smile. "It happens to be my boyfriend's favorite, too."
"Joel doesn't order The Joel?" she asked, cocking her eyebrow.
You shook your head and tried to forget his earlier comment when you said, "Guess not. But he helped design The Joel. In fact, he also helped with The Mia. Sarah did, as well."
"That's so lovely to hear," Carmen said softly, pressing her lips together and leaning forward. "I think it's such a wonderful detail, by the way. How the two of you came from relationships that ended in tragedy and managed to find peace and happiness with one another. And to honor your partners in this way is incredible."
"Thank you," you answered. Your chest warmed at her compliment. "Even though I never met Mia, she was important to the people I love the most, and therefore, she's important to me. Joel and Sarah feel the same about Daniel. Grief is a complicated thing, but I like to think I've found a way to live beside it."
Carmen smiled and dropped her gaze to the table. "That's so comforting and reassuring to hear. And an incredible quote to leave me with because it looks like our time is up."
"Quote?" you asked with a tilt to your head.
"I usually like to run a quote from my subject as my byline," Carmen said while she packed up her things. She began to stand and you stopped her.
"Wait - could I give you something else to put as your byline instead?"
She grinned and sat back down before pulling out her phone and pressing a button.
"Of course."
One Week Later
"You nervous 'bout your mama comin' up?" Joel asked, tugging you closer to his side as you walked up the snowy sidewalk.
"A little," you admitted. "But whatever she ends up thinking doesn't matter. I love you, Joel," you said, tilting your chin up to meet his eye. "I love you and nothing is ever going to change that."
He smiled and gave your lips a quick peck as you rounded the corner, closing in on the nearest grocery store.
"Well, back in my day, I used to be a big hit with a girl's parents."
"Oh, yeah?" you teased.
"Yep. They all loved me. I'm real respectful, you'll see."
You wanted to tell him to just be himself and to not stress about your mother's visit, but you knew there was no use. He was going to do everything possible to win your mother over and while you found it admirable he cared so much, you didn't want him to feel like he needed to make your parents come around. In your several talks with Ryan in therapy, you had come to the conclusion that nobody's approval was needed for you to be happy. It would be nice, sure. It would make holidays and special occasions easier. But nothing was going to change anything between you and Joel.
"Alright, now. Here we go," Joel said excitedly when the automatic doors slid open and you were met with a blast of warm air. You grinned and squeezed his arm while letting him drag you towards the newspapers and magazines. You both scanned the rows of periodicals before Joel spotted it first and grabbed the whole stack. He handed you the extras and eagerly flipped through the pages of the one on top before he paused with a slow smile.
"What? How does it look? What picture did she-"
You cut yourself short when you peered over his shoulder. Your breath hitched and you caught Joel's eye before looking back at the page.
Unbeknownst to you, Carmen and grabbed a quick shot of you leaning out of the food truck to kiss Joel. You were both smiling as snow lightly fell around you, the background highlighted by twinkling Christmas lights and laughing holiday shoppers. It looked like a photograph straight out of a movie: two people finding a quick moment for love in the midst of a busy street.
"You think that's a good enough picture of the two of us?" you asked, looking up at him adoringly, but his focus was on the byline. His eyes kept scanning the words over and over until you swore you saw tears begin to cloud his vision.
"You like it?" you found yourself whispering. He swallowed and nodded, bottom lip quivering before he let the paper drop to his side so he could cup your jaw and pull you in for a kiss.
"I love you," he murmured.
"I love you, too," you said softly against his lips. He gave you one more kiss before he sniffled and opened the paper again so he could reread the words:
This was all made possible because of Daniel, who taught me what true love is, and because of Joel, who showed me love during my darkest days - I owe you everything.
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#joel miller fanfic#joel miller tlou#joel miller x reader#comfort Joel#joel tlou#joel x reader#joel the last of us#the last of us au#joel miller au#joel miller angst#Joel miller grief#the last of us angst#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller fanfiction#evergreen fic#joel miller smut
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i love you, in every time ࿐‧₊ 2023 - nothing matters but you
chapter summary: The remaining X-Men come up with a plan to change their present; send Logan back in time to change the past.
word count: 17.1k+
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: oooohhhh boy!! i've been waiting for this chapter for so long and it's finally here! i'll have more to say at the end, but for now, and i truly mean it, enjoy!!! <3
warnings/tags: takes place during 'days of future past', dofp!logan, light miscommunication, angst, light violence, blood, character death, fluff, memory loss, happy ending!
series masterlist - chapter 10
The Blackbird landed on the top of the large mountain in front of a monastery. Ororo walked out first, followed by Logan, who paused at the bottom of the stairs to light his cigar, Charles, whose chair hovered down the stairs, and Erik.
They walked to the front of the monastery as Bobby spoke, “Professor.”
Ororo smiled, “Bobby.”
“Hey, Storm,” he replied, giving the woman a hug.
“Hey, kid.” Logan said.
“Professor,” Kitty called out. “You made it.”
The group made their way inside as Kitty explained how the group had been surviving, “Warpath spots them, and I send Bishop back to warn us of the attack before it happens. Blink scouts the next site, and… well, we leave before they ever know we were there.”
“Because we never were.” Bishop said.
“But what do you mean, you were never there?” Logan asked.
Charles looked over at Logan, “she projects Bishop back in time a few days to warn the others of the coming attack.”
“So she sends Bishop back in time?”
“No, just his consciousness into his younger self, his younger body.” Charles clarified.
“Wow.” Logan muttered.
“This might just work, Charles.” Erik commented.
“What might work?” Kitty questioned.
“The Sentinel program was originally conceived by Dr. Bolivar Trask. In the early ‘70s, he was one of the world’s leading weapons designers, but covertly, he had begun experimenting on mutants, using their gifts to fuel his own research. There was one mutant who had discovered what he was doing.” Charles explained.
“A mutant with the ability to transform herself into anyone.” Erik added.
“Mystique,” Peter said.
“I knew her as Raven. We met when we were children. Grew up together. She was like a sister to me. I tried to help her, but only succeeded in driving her away. She hunted Trask across the world, and at the Paris Peace Accords in 1973, after the Vietnam War, she found Trask. And killed him. It was the first time she killed.”
“It wasn’t her last.” Logan added on.
“But killing Trask did not have the outcome she expected. It only persuaded the government of the need for his program. They captured her that day. Tortured her. Experimented on her. In her DNA, they discovered the secrets to her powers of transformation. It gave them the key they needed to create weapons that could adapt to any mutant power, and in less than 50 years, the machines that have destroyed so many of our kind were created. But it all started that day in 1973, the day she first killed, the day she truly became… Mystique.” Charles finished.
“You want to go back there,” Kitty said.
“If I can get to her, stop the assassination, keep her out of their hands, then we can stop the Sentinels from ever being born.”
“And end this war before it ever begins.” Erik spoke.
“I-I can send someone back a couple weeks. I mean, maybe a month, but you’re talking about going back decades. You have the most powerful brain in the world, Professor, but the mind can only stretch so far before it snaps. It would rip you apart. I’m sorry. No one could survive that trip.” Kitty remarked.
“What if someone’s mind has a way of snapping back?” Logan asked. “What if someone can heal as fast as they’re ripped apart?”
---
Logan stood by the table as Charles, Erik, Kitty, and Bobby stood nearby, the rest outside of the monastery keeping watch.
“So I wake up in my younger body, God knows where. Then what?”
“You’ll need to go to my house and find me. Convince me of all of this.” Charles moved closer to Logan.
“Won’t you be able to just read my mind?”
“I didn’t have my powers in 1973. Logan, you’re going to have to do for me what I once did for you. Lead me, guide me. I was a very different man then. You’ll have to be patient with me.”
Logan scoffed, “patience isn’t my strongest suit.”
“You’ll need me as well,” Erik spoke up.
“What?” Logan turned to face Erik behind him.
“After Mystique left Charles, she came with me, and I set her on a dangerous path. Darker path. It’s going to take the two of us, side by side at a time when we couldn’t be further apart.”
Logan looked at Charles who nodded in affirmation, “great,” he muttered to himself. “So, where do I find you?”
“Well, it’s complicated.” Erik said, as Logan shook his head and stopped himself from rolling his eyes.
Logan got onto the table and lied down, Kitty sitting at the head of the table, “basically, your body will go to sleep while your mind travels back in time. Now, as long as you’re back there, past and present will continue to coexist, but once you wake up… whatever you’ve done will take hold and become history. And for the rest of us it’ll be the only history that we know. It’ll be like the last 50 years never happened. And this world, and this war… the only person who will remember it is you.” Kitty took a breath, “all right, Logan, I need you to clear your head and to stay as calm possible.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“If your mind gets rocky, it’ll be harder for me to hold you, and you could start to slip between past and future.”
“What if I need to get a little rocky?”
Kitty lightly shook her head, “think peaceful thoughts?”
“Peaceful thoughts.” Logan repeated. “You have any good news?”
“Well, I mean, you don’t really age, so you’ll pretty much look the same.”
Bobby spoke up, “you won’t have much time in the past. The Sentinels will find us. They always do.”
“And this time, we won’t be able to run. We’ll have no escape. This is our last chance.” Kitty’s hands hovered near the sides of Logan’s head.
“See you all soon.” Logan said.
“This might sting a little.”
---
Logan blinked, his vision adjusting to the dim, warm glow of the lava lamp. Its lazy, hypnotic bubbles drifted in the liquid, but his mind was racing to catch up. The sharp, immediate transition from the future to… this—the past, his past—had his senses momentarily disoriented.
The pressure against his neck snapped him into focus. An arm was draped over his shoulder from behind, soft, warm, and familiar. He shifted his head just enough to glance at the hand resting on his chest. It was delicate, but the grip was firm, like whoever it belonged to had no intention of letting him go.
“Mornin’,” your voice came from behind him, groggy and soft. Your tone was laced with the remnants of sleep but carried the easy, teasing warmth that always seemed to put him off guard.
His heart clenched. You.
You leaned into him slightly, pressing your cheek against his shoulder as you stretched, entirely unaware of the whirlwind in his head. The past, your face, the other you. The fact that he hadn’t seen this version of you in nearly 50 years.
“Didn’t think I’d need to pry you out of bed first,” you teased lightly, your hand giving his chest a playful pat before you settled again. “Usually, you’re already up before the sun, big guy.”
Logan’s jaw clenched at the nickname. His eyes narrowed at the room—a modest hotel room with vintage floral wallpaper and creaky wooden furniture—and the small pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. His leather jacket. Your dress. The pieces clicked into place far too quickly, but they didn’t make it easier to stomach.
He turned his head enough to catch sight of you, hair slightly messy, lips curled in a lazy grin. You were radiant in a way that didn’t match the world he’d just left behind. The world he’d come back to fix. And you had no idea how much he’d missed that expression.
“What’s with the look?” you asked, tilting your head. “Do I have something on my face, or are you just debating whether or not you’re gonna finish that cigar from yesterday?”
Logan shook his head slightly, clearing the fog. “Nah. Just… thinkin’.”
“You?” you quipped. “That’s dangerous.”
“Cute,” he replied dryly, though a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
You laughed and pulled back, sitting up against the headboard. Your expression softened when you caught a hint of the tension still lingering in his body. “You okay? You seem… off.”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed, sitting on the edge to gather himself. “Just didn’t sleep great.”
“You tossed and turned a lot,” you agreed, though your concern didn’t waver. “Another bad dream?”
Logan didn’t answer immediately. The memories of the future, the Sentinels, the war, and your other death pressed heavily on him. Instead, he grunted noncommittally and stood, grabbing his jeans from a chair nearby.
“Y’know,” you said behind him, watching as he pulled on his shirt, “most bodyguards don’t get that much real estate in their boss’s daughter’s bed.”
Logan froze for a beat before throwing you a glance over his shoulder. “Most bodyguards don’t sneak them outta her own wedding either, darlin’.”
You grinned mischievously, leaning your head back against the headboard. “Guess that makes us even.”
He shook his head but couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped. You haven’t changed a bit.
Before either of you could say anything more, there was a sharp knock on the door. Logan’s entire body tensed, his senses sharpening instantly. He sniffed the air, picking up the distinct scents of sweat, leather, and gunpowder.
“Stay here,” he said lowly, grabbing his jacket and stepping toward the door.
“Logan, what—”
“I mean it,” he said, cutting you off with a firm glance. The tone in his voice told you not to argue.
He moved toward the door, his hand hovering over the knob as his other reached behind him for the small knife he kept tucked into his waistband. He opened the door slightly, just enough to peer through the crack.
Two men stood in the hall, dressed in dark suits. Their faces were sharp, unfamiliar, but their eyes carried an unmistakable menace.
“Can I help you?” Logan asked gruffly.
“Yeah,” one of them said. “We’re here for the lady. Her father’s lookin’ for her.”
Logan didn’t hesitate. He slammed the door shut and locked it, spinning back toward you. “Get down,” he barked.
“What’s going on?” you asked, but the urgency in his voice made you scramble off the bed.
The door shuddered as one of the men kicked it. Logan growled low in his throat, adrenaline surging as his hands instinctively balled into fists. Bone claws erupted from his knuckles with a sickening snikt, and he turned toward the door just as it splintered inward.
Your sharp gasp filled the room, but there was no time for questions. Logan launched himself at the first man, driving his claws deep into the guy’s shoulder. Blood sprayed across the room as the second man raised a gun, but Logan was faster. He yanked his claws free and swung, knocking the weapon from the man’s hand before driving his claws into his stomach.
It was over in seconds, but the aftermath left the room in chaos. Logan stood over the bodies, his breathing heavy, his shirt streaked with blood. His claws glistened in the dim light, and as he turned toward you, his expression softened.
“Logan…” you whispered, your voice shaking. Your eyes were wide, fixed on the bone claws still protruding from his hands.
He hesitated, then retracted them with a shudder, the wounds on his knuckles sealing themselves almost instantly. “I can explain,” he said gruffly.
“You—you just…” You couldn’t find the words.
“Y/N,” he said, stepping toward you carefully. “I need you to trust me.”
You stared at him, your mind racing. The man you thought you knew had just turned into something else entirely—but it wasn’t fear that kept you rooted in place. It was the way he was looking at you, desperate, protective, like he’d go through hell just to keep you safe.
“I…” You took a shaky breath. “I trust you.”
Logan’s shoulders sagged in relief, though the tension in the room didn’t dissipate. He grabbed a bag from the corner of the room and tossed it toward you. “We need to move. Now.”
Before you could question him further, he bent down, rummaging through the man’s jacket pocket to snag the keys before heading for the door. You hesitated, your mind still racing to process what you had just seen. The claws, the blood, the sheer force he used to take out armed men—it was like something out of a nightmare. But Logan wasn’t the nightmare. He was the only constant in this whirlwind you called your life.
“Y/N,” Logan’s voice broke through your haze. He was standing by the door, his tone sharp but not unkind. “Let’s go. Now.”
You shoved a few belongings into the bag, still half-dressed from sleep, and moved quickly to his side. “Logan, what the hell is goin’ on?”
“I’ll explain later,” he said, keeping his voice low and his gaze locked on the hallway as he peeked out. “For now, we’ve gotta put some distance between us and whoever else your father’s sent after you.”
Your stomach twisted at the mention of your father, but you followed him out of the room, clutching the strap of the bag tightly. “How did they even find us?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care,” Logan muttered, leading you down the narrow hallway. His shoulders were rigid, his entire body coiled like a spring. “What matters is keeping you outta their hands.”
The two of you reached the stairwell, and Logan paused at the top, scanning the area below. He tilted his head, his nostrils flaring as he sniffed the air. Whatever he smelled didn’t seem to calm him, but he motioned for you to follow anyway.
You descended the stairs as quietly as you could, your bare feet barely making a sound against the worn carpet. “Logan, seriously, you need to tell me what’s going on. Those… claws, or whatever—”
“Not now, sweetheart,” he interrupted, his voice tense but firm. “We’ve gotta focus on getting outta here.”
You bit your lip, frustration bubbling under your skin. This wasn’t the first time Logan had dodged your questions, but after what you’d just seen, you weren’t about to let it slide for long.
The two of you slipped out a side door into the cool morning air. The parking lot was mostly empty, save for a few scattered vehicles. Logan made a beeline for a black sedan parked near the edge of the lot. He unlocked the door and ushered you inside without a word.
“Logan—” you started as he slid into the driver’s seat, but he cut you off again.
“Buckle up,” he said, starting the engine.
You shot him a glare but did as he said, snapping the seatbelt into place. Logan peeled out of the lot, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as his eyes flicked between the road and the rearview mirror.
For a few minutes, the only sound was the hum of the engine and the faint thud of your heartbeat in your ears. You watched him closely, noting the way his jaw clenched and his knuckles turned white around the wheel.
“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on now?” you finally demanded, crossing your arms. “Because I think I deserve an explanation after that little… display back there.”
Logan let out a slow breath through his nose, his eyes still on the road. “It’s complicated.”
“No kidding,” you shot back. “Start with the claws. What the hell are they, Logan? And don’t tell me they’re some kind of freak weapon because I saw them come out of your hands.”
He glanced at you briefly, his expression unreadable. “They’re a part of me,” he said simply.
You blinked, taken aback by the matter-of-fact tone in his voice. “What do you mean, ‘a part of you’? Like, you were born with them?”
“Somethin’ like that,” he muttered.
You stared at him, waiting for more, but he didn’t elaborate. Frustration bubbled over, and you leaned forward, grabbing his arm. “Logan, I’m serious. I need answers.”
He sighed, his shoulders sagging slightly as he finally looked over at you. “I’ll tell you everything, sweetheart. Just not right now. Right now, we’ve gotta focus on getting somewhere safe.”
“And where’s that?” you asked, your voice softening slightly.
“A place I know,” he said, turning his attention back to the road. “We’ll head north, get outta the city, and figure it out from there.”
You frowned, unsure whether to trust his vague assurances. But the look in his eyes, the raw determination mixed with something you couldn’t quite place—it was enough to quiet your doubts for now.
“Fine,” you said, leaning back in your seat. “But you owe me the truth. All of it.”
Logan smirked faintly, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’ve always been a tough one, huh?”
“Damn right,” you muttered, crossing your arms again. But despite your defiant tone, a small part of you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of something else—something warm and familiar—when he called you tough.
You didn’t notice the way his grip on the wheel tightened at your response or the way his jaw clenched ever so slightly. To you, this was just another chaotic morning in the whirlwind of your life. But to Logan, it was a painful reminder of how many mornings like this he’d lost with you.
---
You tapped your fingers on your thigh, still waiting for Logan to come out of this mansion, which looked like it had seen better days.
You groaned as you tilted your head back, adjusting yourself in the car seat. It had been a while since Logan left the car and went inside, almost 2 hours. You would know, you’ve been watching the clock.
Finally, Logan stepped outside and briskly walked to the car door, opening it for you. “Jesus, what took so long?” You asked, as he grabbed your bag from the backside and guided you into the house where two other men were, one with glasses, the other with long curly hair. “Logan-?”
“You’re staying here.” He stated.
You stopped dead in your tracks, your eyes narrowing at Logan. “What?” you demanded. “You said we’d figure this out together. You didn’t say anything about leaving me here.”
Logan ran a hand through his hair, already looking stressed. “Plans changed, darlin’,” he said, his tone calm but firm. “Charles and Hank are comin’ with me. We’ve got somethin’ to take care of, and it’s safer if you stay here.”
“Safer? Logan, this place is the size of a damn castle!” You gestured around the massive entry hall, frustration spilling over. “You’re just gonna leave me here by myself? What if they come for me again? What am I supposed to do then?”
“You won’t be alone,” Charles interjected, his tone measured but polite. He glanced briefly at Logan, as if trying to gauge how much to say. “This house has a number of protections. You’ll be secure here.”
“Secure from who?” you fired back, your eyes darting between the two men. “You all keep throwing words around like ‘safe’ and ‘protected,’ but you won’t tell me from what!”
Logan stepped closer, his voice softening. “Y/N, I know you’ve got questions, and I know this ain’t easy, but trust me. If I thought for a second there was a better way to keep you outta harm’s way, I’d do it.”
You stared at him, trying to ignore the way his voice—the way he called you by name—seemed to ease some of the tension in your chest. But it wasn’t enough. “You always do this,” you muttered, crossing your arms. “You make decisions for me like I’m some fragile little doll. I’m not helpless, Logan.”
“I know that,” he said quickly, his gaze locking onto yours. “But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna take chances with you.”
“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered, shaking your head. “And where exactly are you going that’s so important you can’t tell me?”
Logan hesitated, his jaw tightening. He glanced at Charles, who gave him a slight nod. “We’ve gotta stop someone,” Logan finally said, his voice low. “Someone who’s about to make a big mistake.”
“That’s it?” you asked, your frustration rising again. “That’s all you’re gonna give me?”
“That’s all you need to know right now,” Logan replied. He reached out, his hand brushing against your arm. “Look, I promise I’ll explain everything when I get back. But for now, I need you to trust me.”
You stared at him, your chest tight with a mix of anger and something softer, something you didn’t want to name. “Fine,” you said at last, pulling away from his touch. “But don’t expect me to be happy about it.”
Logan smirked faintly, though his eyes were serious. “Wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Charles cleared his throat, stepping forward. “Y/N, I understand this is a lot to take in, but I assure you, this is the safest course of action for now. Hank and I will only be gone for a short while.”
“Yeah,” you muttered, glancing at him briefly. “You better be.”
Logan nodded at Charles, then turned back to you. “There’s food in the kitchen, and plenty of space to stretch out. Don’t open the doors for anyone but me or them. Got it?”
You rolled your eyes but nodded. “Got it.”
Logan hesitated for a moment, as if he wanted to say more, but then he turned and followed Charles and Hank toward the door. You watched them leave, the sound of the heavy door closing echoing in the empty mansion.
For a long moment, you stood in the middle of the entry hall, clutching your bag and trying to process everything that had just happened. Finally, you let out a heavy sigh and slung the bag over your shoulder.
“Guess I’m on my own,” you muttered, heading deeper into the mansion to figure out how the hell you were supposed to pass the time in this massive, empty house.
---
It didn’t take long for you to get bored, even in a place as massive as this. From what you gathered during your first walkthrough, this mansion had likely been a boarding school at some point. The classrooms, rows of bedrooms, and an enormous kitchen all hinted at its past. But now, it was eerily quiet—like a castle frozen in time.
You wandered aimlessly, peeking into rooms and finding nothing but empty desks, dust-covered books, and a growing sense of restlessness. The longer you roamed, the more your mind churned over Logan’s sudden departure. You didn’t want to admit it, but his absence had left a void—a nagging worry that you couldn’t shake.
You sighed, stopping in front of a wide window overlooking the overgrown courtyard. What am I even doing here? you thought. Your fingers tapped against the windowpane as you chewed the inside of your cheek. Maybe you should’ve pushed harder for answers instead of letting Logan sidestep your questions—again.
The faint hum of a clock ticking in the hallway was the only sound accompanying your thoughts. It wasn’t enough to drown out the memories of Logan’s claws unsheathing back at the hotel or the unspoken tension in his voice when he said, “you won’t be alone.”
“Great,” you muttered under your breath, turning away from the window. “Stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing but cryptic warnings and empty rooms.”
You wandered back to the kitchen, hoping to find something to pass the time. The fridge was surprisingly well-stocked, and you made yourself a quick sandwich. As you ate, your gaze drifted toward the doorway, half expecting Logan to stride through it with that familiar scowl on his face.
But the doorway remained empty.
With a groan, you pushed the plate away and leaned back in the chair. “This sucks,” you muttered.
The silence pressed against your ears as you sat there, tapping your fingers on the table. You couldn’t help but think back to Logan’s expression when he’d left. There was something in his eyes—something heavy, like he was carrying more than just the weight of keeping you safe. He always did that, didn’t he? Took on the burden for everyone else, even if it meant shutting you out.
You stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor. No more sitting around like a damsel in distress, you decided. If Logan was off dealing with whatever ‘big mistake’ he’d mentioned, you’d figure out how to occupy yourself in the meantime.
---
A while later, you found yourself back in one of the old classrooms. The chalkboards were dusty, and the desks were in varying states of disrepair, but it was oddly comforting in a way. You sat down at one of the desks and fiddled with a piece of chalk, drawing random lines on the board in front of you.
The quiet of the mansion felt oppressive. Every creak of the old wood or groan of the structure made your heart skip a beat. You weren’t sure if it was just your imagination playing tricks on you or if there was something more sinister lurking in the silence.
You sighed, leaning back in the chair. “Why’d you leave me here, Logan?” you muttered to yourself. The question hung in the air, unanswered, like so many others he’d dodged over the months.
As you stared at the lines you’d absentmindedly drawn, you thought back to your father. His control over your life had been suffocating, but this—running, hiding, fearing what might come next—was a different kind of prison. Logan had promised to protect you, but how could he if he wasn’t here?
A sudden noise in the hallway snapped you out of your thoughts. You froze, the piece of chalk slipping from your fingers and clattering onto the desk.
“Logan?” you called out, your voice trembling slightly. There was no response.
You rose slowly from the desk, your heart pounding in your chest. The sound came again—closer this time. It wasn’t the creak of the old mansion settling. It was deliberate, like footsteps.
You moved toward the door, peeking into the hallway. It was empty, but the faint sound of movement reached your ears from somewhere deeper in the house.
“Logan?” you tried again, your voice firmer.
Still nothing.
Clutching your jacket sleeve tightly, you stepped into the hallway, your bare feet silent against the worn wooden floors. The air felt colder somehow, and the shadows seemed to stretch longer.
You made your way toward the source of the noise, your pulse quickening with every step. Part of you wanted to turn back, to lock yourself in one of the rooms and wait for Logan to return, but you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right.
As you rounded the corner, you saw them. Men in dark suits, their faces obscured by the dim lighting. There were at least four of them, moving methodically through the mansion as if they knew exactly where to look.
Your breath caught in your throat. They weren’t here by accident.
You turned quickly, intending to retreat and find a place to hide, but it was too late. One of the men spotted you, his sharp eyes locking onto yours.
“She’s here!” he barked, and the others turned toward you immediately.
Panic surged through your veins as you broke into a sprint, your bare feet barely making a sound against the floor. You didn’t know where you were running, only that you had to get away.
“Stop her!” one of them shouted, and the sound of heavy footsteps followed you.
You darted into another hallway, your mind racing. You needed a plan, a way out, but the labyrinthine mansion offered no clear escape routes.
A hand suddenly grabbed your arm, yanking you backward. You let out a startled cry, struggling against the grip.
“Let go of me!” you screamed, kicking and clawing at the man holding you.
He grimaced but held firm, dragging you toward the others. “Stop fighting, or this gets messy,” he growled.
“Like hell it does,” you spat, managing to stomp on his foot hard enough to make him loosen his grip.
You broke free, stumbling forward, but another man was already there. He grabbed you by the waist, lifting you off the ground despite your thrashing.
“Let me go!” you shouted, your voice echoing through the empty halls.
“Enough!” a voice barked, and the men froze.
A figure stepped out of the shadows—an older man with a cold, calculating expression. You recognized him immediately. One of your father’s men.
“Miss Y/N,” he said smoothly, his tone dripping with false politeness. “Your father’s been worried sick about you.”
“Bullshit,” you snapped, glaring at him. “He doesn’t care about me.”
The man chuckled, a low, menacing sound. “Whether he cares or not isn’t really the issue, is it? You belong to him. And he’s decided it’s time you came home.”
“Over my dead body,” you shot back, your voice defiant even as fear coiled in your chest.
The man’s smile widened, and there was something cruel in his eyes. “If that’s what it takes.”
You struggled harder, but the men holding you were too strong. They began dragging you toward the exit, your cries for help swallowed by the vast emptiness of the mansion.
In that moment, a horrible realization settled over you. Logan wasn’t here to save you.
And this time, there was no escape.
---
The room was dim, lit by a single, flickering bulb swaying overhead. The scent of mildew clung to the air, mixing with the metallic tang of rust from the pipes along the walls. You blinked groggily, your head pounding as the events leading up to this moment replayed in your mind.
Interrogation, then murder. That’s how these things went. You knew it, had known it since you were a child sitting quietly at the top of the stairs, listening in on conversations you weren’t supposed to hear. The Romano family didn’t forgive betrayal, and neither did your father.
Your wrists ached where the rough ropes dug into them, tying you to the chair. The metal groaned beneath your weight as you tried to shift, testing the bindings. No give. You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe.
From the shadows, the men emerged one by one, their faces a mix of familiarity and dread. You recognized some from your father’s estate—men who had once tipped their hats to you out of respect, now staring at you like a wolf pack eyeing its prey. Among them was Clyde Romano, his sharp suit immaculate despite the grim surroundings.
“Well, well,” Clyde drawled, adjusting his cuffs as he stepped closer. His cold eyes gleamed with a mixture of triumph and disdain. “You’ve been a busy little runaway, haven’t you?”
“Fuck you, Clyde,” you spat, your voice steadier than you expected.
He smirked, leaning in until you could feel his breath against your cheek. “Bold words for someone in your position. But that’s always been your problem, hasn’t it? Too much mouth, not enough sense.”
One of the men chuckled darkly, and you shot him a glare sharp enough to cut.
Clyde straightened, motioning for the others to spread out. “See, Y/N, this could’ve all been so simple. You play the good little bride, marry into the family, and keep your mouth shut. But no. You had to run. Had to embarrass your father. And me.”
“Embarrass you?” You barked out a bitter laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were your fragile little feelings hurt because I didn’t want to be your trophy wife?”
Clyde’s smile faltered, his jaw tightening. He nodded toward one of his men, who stepped forward and struck you across the face. Pain exploded along your cheek, sharp and hot.
“Watch your mouth,” Clyde hissed.
You turned your head back slowly, your vision swimming. Blood trickled from the corner of your lip, but you smiled through it, defiant. “That all you’ve got?”
Clyde’s expression darkened, and he stepped closer, gripping your chin roughly. “You’re real brave for someone who doesn’t have a way out.”
Your stomach twisted at the truth of his words, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing fear in your eyes. “Better to die standing than live on my knees,” you shot back.
“Your boyfriend isn’t here to save you, sweetheart,” he said casually, his tone laced with mockery. “What was his name? Logan?”
Your heart clenched at the sound of his name, but you kept your face blank.
“He left you,” Clyde continued. “Just like everyone else will. Because you’re not worth the trouble.”
“That so?” you bit out. “Then why are you here?”
He stopped, looking over his shoulder with a smirk. “To clean up the mess you made.”
Clyde stepped back, giving a subtle nod to one of the men. The air seemed to thicken as the man pulled a knife from his belt, the blade glinting in the weak light.
Your breath hitched, but you didn’t look away. If this was the end, you’d meet it head-on, with your head held high.
“Any last words?” Clyde asked, his tone almost bored.
You swallowed hard, the weight of everything pressing down on you. The memories of Logan’s rough hands holding yours, his gruff voice calling you darlin’ in that way that made your chest ache, his eyes softening in those rare moments when he let his guard down.
You thought of him now—miles away, caught up in something you couldn’t begin to understand. If he were here, he’d fight. He always did. But this time, you were on your own.
“Yeah,” you said, your voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill. “Go to hell.”
Clyde tilted his head, unimpressed. The man with the knife stepped forward, and you clenched your fists, bracing yourself for the inevitable.
The blade gleamed, catching the light one last time before it plunged toward you.
And then, there was only darkness.
---
Logan paced the bedroom; he had known something was off the second they got back. For one, you were nowhere in the mansion and your bag was sitting on the couch in the rec room.
Hank hesitantly stood by the doorframe for a few moments before speaking, “there’s a theory in quantum physics that time is immutable.” Logan paused his pacing as Hank continued, “it’s like a river—you can throw a pebble into it, create a ripple, but the current always corrects itself. No matter what you do, the river just… keeps flowing in the same direction.”
Logan let out a small scoff, the corner of his mouth twitching upward in a fleeting smile. “The B-theory of time.”
Hank blinked, his brows furrowing. “You’re familiar with it?”
Logan shrugged, leaning back against the wall, his arms crossed. “Yeah, I’ve heard it before. Someone once tried explaining it to me—something about all moments in time existing simultaneously. Past, present, future, all laid out like pages in a book.” He tilted his head, his gaze hardening. “Didn’t make it sound any less screwed up.”
Hank tilted his head slightly, caught off guard. “That’s a fairly accurate summation, Logan. I’m… surprised you retained that much.”
Logan’s lips twitched again, but his eyes darkened with a tinge of something that looked like regret. “Good teacher,” he muttered, his voice low. His mind flicked back to the quiet hours spent with you in the rec room at the mansion, your voice steady as you explained the theories of time and space with the kind of patience that used to drive him insane. “Good teacher,” he repeated, softer this time.
Hank didn’t press the matter, though curiosity lingered in his expression. Instead, he adjusted his glasses and continued. “Right. Well, the theory suggests that no matter how many changes we attempt to make, the timeline has a way of self-correcting. That ripple you caused? It’ll still flow back into the current, Logan. That’s why it’s imperative you stay focused on the larger mission—on stopping Mystique before—”
Logan cut him off with a sharp wave of his hand. “I know, McCoy. Believe me, I get it.” His voice was rougher now, frustration creeping into his tone. “But I can’t just stand here and do nothing. She’s out there—alone—because of me.” His jaw clenched, the muscles tightening like a vice. “I should’ve stayed with her.”
“And then what?” Hank countered, his voice measured but firm. “Thrown yourself headfirst into whatever danger awaits her without a plan? Gotten yourself killed before you even had the chance to stop Mystique? Would that have helped her, Logan? Or anyone else?”
Logan exhaled harshly, raking a hand through his hair. He hated when Hank was right—hated it even more because staying put went against every instinct he had. He’d lost you too many times before, and the idea of it happening again, here in this warped timeline, made his chest feel like it was caught in a vice.
“Look,” Hank said after a pause, his tone softening. “You’re not doing her—or yourself—any favors by acting recklessly. We need you tomorrow at the hearing. Mystique’s actions will set off a chain reaction if we don’t intervene, and that means we need all hands on deck.” He gave Logan a pointed look, then hesitated before adding, “Besides, the Y/N I met didn’t strike me as someone who’d go down without a fight.”
Logan’s gaze snapped to Hank, sharp and unyielding. “What’d you say?”
Hank shifted uncomfortably. “I mean… she was a little out of her element, sure, but she seemed resourceful. Strong-willed. Determined. She’s not just going to sit around waiting to be rescued, Logan.”
Logan’s shoulders relaxed slightly at Hank’s words, though his face remained guarded. He knew you—knew that fire inside you, even in this lifetime. You’d been through hell and still managed to crack that crooked smile, to tease him when he was too gruff for his own good. If anyone could find a way out of a bad situation, it was you.
But that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried sick.
“She’s got guts,” Logan muttered, almost to himself. “Too much, sometimes.”
Hank adjusted his glasses again, watching Logan closely. “Then trust her to hold her own until we can deal with this together. Running off now would be counterproductive and, frankly, reckless.”
Logan let out a low growl of frustration, but he didn’t argue further. Deep down, he knew Hank was right. If he ran out of here now, he’d jeopardize everything—not just the mission, but the fragile thread of hope that had brought him to this point.
Still, the ache in his chest wouldn’t subside. It never did, not when it came to you.
“She’d better be okay,” he muttered, more to himself than to Hank. “Or I’ll—” His voice caught, and he shook his head. “Never mind.”
Hank didn’t respond immediately. He just watched as Logan sank into the chair by the window, his gaze distant.
For now, all Logan could do was wait.
---
Logan woke up to the sun shining through green curtains as he lay on his side, clutching his pillow. He turned over to look at the holographic clock on the other side of the bed, a stack of books on the table along with a single pen.
“The first time, ever I saw your face.”
He sat up, groggy as he looked at the familiar gold doorknob.
“I thought the sun,” Logan stood up and opened the door as a school bell rang and a kid walked out of their room. “Rose in your eyes.” He saw Bobby standing against a door frame as Rogue walked out and grabbed his hand, the two of them glancing over at Logan before walking away.
Logan walked by a classroom where Kitty was at the head of the room, a hologram in her hands, “Buckminster Fuller is a great example of an architect whose ideas were very similar to those of a utopian future. He would build structures that would work with nature, versus against it.”
He looked down the hall as Beast walked past him, clad in a brown suit, “morning, Logan. Late start,” he chuckled, as Logan watched him walk by.
Logan then walked down the stairs, seeing students converse with Storm. He continued his way down the stairs and into the open area, seeing familiar red hair leaning against the Professor’s open door.
Jean turned to look at him, “hey, Logan,” she softly called out as he glanced her way and back down the other hallways.
He saw a group of students walking huddled together before splitting apart briefly as you walked past them.
Logan’s breath hitched as you walked past the group of students, your hair catching the light streaming through the mansion’s tall windows. You didn’t notice him immediately, too focused on the stack of papers in your arms and the pen tucked behind your ear. He froze in place, his heart pounding like it hadn’t in years—decades, even.
You glanced up just as you passed him, pausing mid-step when your eyes met his. There was warmth in your gaze, that familiar spark he’d seen so many lifetimes ago, but this time it wasn’t tinged with hesitation or confusion. It was easy. Natural.
“There you are,” you said, a small smile gracing your lips as you adjusted the papers in your arms. “I was about to come looking for you. Late morning?”
Logan stared at you for a beat too long, the sound of your voice wrapping around him like a long-lost melody. He blinked, clearing his throat and trying to push past the lump that had formed there. “Yeah... guess so.”
Your smile widened, though your brow furrowed just slightly. “You okay, Lo?” you asked softly, stepping closer.
He managed a nod, though his throat felt tight. “Yeah, just... uh, still waking up, I guess.”
You tilted your head slightly, studying him in that way you always used to when something seemed off. “Well, if you’re awake enough, maybe you could help me wrangle some of the kids for class?” You gestured toward the papers in your arms. “I need to grab a few more things, and Laura’s been trying to skip out on physics again. You didn’t even budge when the alarm went off this morning, but you’re lucky Scott owed you a favor, so he covered your history class—”
You didn’t get to finish your sentence when Logan’s arms wrapped around you, his hold firm but not crushing. His head burrowed into the crook of your neck, and for a moment, everything around you seemed to pause. You blinked, startled, the stack of papers in your arms wobbling precariously before you instinctively steadied them against your chest.
“Logan?” you asked softly, your voice tinged with concern and confusion. “What’s going on?”
He didn’t answer right away. His breathing was heavy, his body tense against yours as though he was clinging to something—or someone—he thought he’d lost. The warmth of his presence, his scent of leather and pine, was familiar, but this intensity was new.
You let the silence hang for a moment, your free hand instinctively lifting to rest on his shoulder. “Lo,” you tried again, your tone softer now, laced with the kind of patience that only years together had nurtured. “Talk to me.”
Logan pulled back slightly, just enough to look at you, but his hands remained firm on your waist. His eyes were wild, scanning your face like he was searching for proof that you were real. For a fleeting second, you caught something raw in his expression—something vulnerable.
“You’re here,” he muttered, almost to himself. His voice was hoarse, as though he hadn’t spoken in days. “You’re… really here.”
Your brows knitted together as you tilted your head, trying to piece together what could have possibly spurred this reaction. “Of course I’m here,” you said with a small, hesitant laugh, your hand sliding from his shoulder to his cheek. “Where else would I be?”
Before Logan could respond, the unmistakable sound of small, hurried footsteps echoed down the hall. A high-pitched voice followed, cutting through the moment like a pebble skipping across still water.
“Daddy!”
Logan froze. His hands fell away from your waist as a little girl with dark hair barreled toward the two of you, her pigtails bouncing with each step. She clung to Logan’s leg without hesitation, looking up at him with the wide, innocent eyes of someone who knew no fear or doubt.
Gabby.
The name surfaced in Logan’s mind like a fragment from a dream, though it came with no context—no memories to anchor it. He stared down at the child, his breath catching as she grinned up at him.
“Daddy, I found you!” she declared triumphantly, like it was a great accomplishment. “Laura said you were being slow again.”
You chuckled softly, crouching down to ruffle Gabby’s hair. “What did we say about calling your dad slow?” you teased gently, though there was no real reprimand in your tone.
Gabby giggled, leaning into your touch. “Only when it’s funny?”
“Exactly,” you replied with a smirk before standing again and glancing at Logan, who still hadn’t moved or spoken. “Lo, you okay?” you asked again, your concern deepening.
Logan’s gaze flicked between you and Gabby, his chest tightening. The ring on your finger caught the light as you moved, and for the first time, he noticed it—the familiar band of gold he’d carried for over a century.
His heart stuttered. You’re wearing it.
“Logan?” you pressed, stepping closer again. Gabby, still holding onto his leg, tilted her head in confusion.
Logan swallowed hard, forcing himself to push past the whirlwind in his mind. “Yeah,” he rasped, his voice strained but steady enough. “I’m fine.”
You didn’t look convinced, but you didn’t push him. Instead, you nodded toward the stack of papers in your arms. “You sure? Because if you’re about to have an existential crisis, I need you to hold off until after you help me track down Laura. Deal?”
Logan blinked, your teasing tone pulling him out of his daze. He managed a weak chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. Deal.”
Gabby tugged at his pant leg, her face scrunched in determination. “Daddy, can we get pancakes after? Laura said she’d eat ten, but I bet I could eat twelve.”
You snorted softly, looking between Gabby and Logan with an amused smile. “You’re not actually gonna let her eat twelve pancakes, are you?”
Logan’s lips twitched, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “We’ll see,” he said gruffly, his mind still miles away as he tried to make sense of everything.
You gave him another look, your brows furrowing slightly, but you let it go for now. “Come on,” you said, shifting the papers in your arms. “Let’s get this day started.”
As you turned to lead Gabby toward the stairs, Logan lingered for a moment, his eyes fixed on the gold band on your finger. His thoughts churned, the weight of the moment pressing down on him like a heavy fog.
He needed answers. And he knew exactly who to talk to.
---
Logan pushed open the door to Charles’s office without knocking, his usual roughness softened just enough by the turmoil bubbling beneath his skin. Charles, sitting calmly at his desk with his hands folded, looked up with a raised brow.
“Logan,” Charles greeted, his tone patient but curious. “I wasn’t expecting you so early. Is everything alright?”
Logan stepped inside, closing the door behind him before glancing over his shoulder. He needed to make sure you hadn’t followed. When he was satisfied, he turned back to Charles, his jaw tightening.
“No,” Logan said simply. “We need to talk. Now.”
Charles’s brow furrowed, and he gestured to the chair in front of him. “Please, sit. Tell me what’s troubling you.”
Logan ignored the chair, pacing instead. “I woke up this morning, and I—” He dragged a hand down his face, struggling to find the words. “Chuck, I ain’t supposed to be here. This… this timeline, it ain’t mine.”
Charles’s expression shifted, his calm demeanor replaced with something more serious. “I see,” he said carefully. “Go on.”
“You remember what Kitty did,” Logan said, stopping to lean on the edge of the desk. “Sending my mind back to ’73, to fix everything. To stop the Sentinels.”
“Yes,” Charles replied, his voice steady. “And you succeeded, Logan. The world you’re in now is a result of that success.”
Logan’s laugh was bitter, shaking his head. “Then why the hell don’t I remember it, huh? Why do I remember… all of it? The Sentinels. The Phoenix. Y/N—” His voice cracked, and he looked away, his fists clenching. “She died, Chuck. In my timeline, she died. Jean, too. All of you.”
Charles regarded him quietly, his hands still folded. “Logan, the mind is a complicated thing. It’s possible that in the process of returning you to this point in time, fragments of your original timeline have remained intact.”
“Fragments?” Logan scoffed, pushing off the desk to pace again. “Chuck, this ain’t fragments. I remember it all. I remember her dying six times, dammit. I remember the look on her face when she—” He stopped himself, his breathing ragged.
Charles’s expression softened. “Logan, this is your life now. Whatever timeline you came from, whatever you remember, it’s in the past. This is your reality now. Y/N is alive. Jean is alive. You have a family, a home.”
Logan’s hands curled into fists at his sides. “Yeah, but it ain’t mine. This ring—” He held up his own hand with his own ring, the band of gold catching the light. “I didn’t put it on her finger, Chuck. Some other version of me did. And I don’t know how to be him.”
Charles leaned forward slightly, his voice gentle but firm. “Then perhaps it’s time you learned. For her. For your family.”
Logan stared at him, his chest tight. He wanted to argue, to push back, but the truth of Charles’s words settled heavy in his gut. He’d fought so hard to change the future, to make sure you and everyone else had a chance at a better life. Now that it was here, he didn’t know how to live in it.
He rubbed a hand over his face, exhaling shakily. “What do I do, Chuck?”
Charles smiled faintly. “You take it one day at a time, Logan. And you start by going back to her.”
---
You stood in the Professor’s office, your arms crossed, the faint cherry gloss on your lips catching the sunlight through the large windows. You tilted your head slightly, studying Logan as he leaned against the desk, his expression unreadable but tense.
“So…” you began, your voice soft but steady, “you’re from a different timeline? One where none of this happened?”
Logan exhaled heavily, running a hand through his unruly hair. “Yeah, sweetheart. That’s about the size of it.”
Your gaze flicked between him and Charles, who sat calmly behind his desk, his hands folded in front of him. “And in that timeline…” you hesitated, your voice faltering slightly. “What happened to me?”
Logan’s jaw tightened, his eyes briefly darting away from yours before he forced himself to meet your gaze. The weight of his memories hung between you, unspoken but palpable.
“You didn’t make it,” he admitted, his voice low and gravelly.
The room felt colder, the air heavier as his words settled over you. You shifted slightly, gripping your own arms as if to steady yourself.
“But not this time,” Charles interjected gently, his calm voice breaking the silence. “This timeline is different, Y/N. You survived, as did many others who didn’t in Logan’s original timeline.”
You turned to Charles, your brow furrowing. “How? How is that even possible? Timelines aren’t just malleable—”
“They are when someone like Kitty Pryde is involved,” Charles replied, his tone steady but kind. “Logan changed the future, which altered the past. But it seems his mind retained the memories of his original timeline when he was brought back.”
You looked at Logan, your head spinning as you tried to wrap your mind around what they were telling you. “So… you’re saying that everything I remember—all the years we’ve been together, raising Gabby and Laura—they’re real, but to you, they’re…”
“New,” Logan finished for you. He pushed off the desk, his hands going to his hips as he paced the room. “To me, darlin’, this—” he gestured vaguely at the mansion around him, “—this is all brand new. The last thing I remember before waking up this morning was bein’ in 1973, tryin’ to stop Mystique from killin’ Trask.”
Your lips parted, but no words came out. The Logan standing before you was so familiar, yet so… not. He was the same man you’d spent decades with, and yet he wasn’t.
“You’re still you,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper.
Logan stopped pacing, turning to look at you. His gaze softened slightly, the hard edges of his frustration melting away. “Yeah,” he said gruffly. “Still me.”
“But you don’t remember Gabby or Laura,” you said, a pang of sadness creeping into your voice. “You don’t remember us.”
Logan’s expression twisted with guilt. “No, sweetheart,” he admitted. “Not the way I should. But I’m tryin’. I swear to you, I’m gonna figure this out.”
You stepped closer to him, your glasses sliding slightly down your nose as you looked up into his eyes. “You’re not alone in this, Logan,” you said softly. “We’ll figure it out together.”
He stared at you, his throat tightening at the unwavering trust in your eyes. Slowly, he reached out, his large hand brushing against yours before taking it fully. “Thanks, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice rough but sincere.
Charles cleared his throat gently, drawing your attention. “The bond you two share has persisted across lifetimes,” he said. “It is not surprising that it remains strong, even now.”
You glanced back at Logan, your fingers still entwined with his. “I guess it’s just one more thing we’ve survived together,” you said with a faint smile.
Logan’s lips quirked upward, just barely. “Yeah,” he said. “Guess so.”
But as the three of you stood there, Logan couldn’t shake the feeling that this was only the beginning of a much bigger challenge. For now, though, he let himself hold onto your hand, grounding himself in the one constant he’d always known: you.
---
Laura stared across the table at Logan, her sharp eyes taking in every detail of his face as if she were trying to find something different, something off. Meanwhile, Gabby’s bright voice filled the dining room.
“And then, they just grow back their limbs! Like, if an axolotl loses a leg or even its tail, it’s all, poof! Fixed!” Gabby made an exaggerated explosion motion with her hands, her fork clattering against her plate. “Isn’t that cool, Daddy?”
Logan blinked, dragging himself out of his thoughts. “Uh, yeah, kid. Real cool.” His voice was gruff but softer than usual as he glanced at her. Gabby beamed, apparently satisfied with his half-hearted response, and took another bite of her pancake.
“Dad doesn’t even know what an axolotl is,” Laura said flatly, her gaze never leaving him.
Gabby gasped, scandalized. “Laura! Of course he does! He’s Daddy! He knows everything!”
Logan scratched the back of his neck, an awkward chuckle slipping out. “Well, I wouldn’t say everything…”
Laura narrowed her eyes slightly, leaning back in her chair. “You’re acting weird.”
“Laura,” you said gently, walking into the room with a cup of coffee in hand. You leaned against the doorway, your glasses slipping down your nose just a touch as you looked at your daughter. “Be nice.”
“She’s not wrong,” Logan muttered under his breath, but you caught it and shot him a warning look.
Laura crossed her arms, clearly unimpressed. “He didn’t even laugh at Gabby’s joke about Mom’s coffee yesterday. That’s how you know something’s wrong.”
You hid your smile behind your mug. “To be fair, it wasn’t a great joke, Gabby.”
“It was hilarious!” Gabby protested, slapping her hands on the table for emphasis.
“Sure, sweetie,” you said with a chuckle, walking over to Logan. Your hand found his shoulder as you leaned down slightly. “Why don’t you two finish breakfast? We’ll be right back.”
Logan shot you a look but didn’t argue as you guided him out of the room, your hand lingering on his arm for a moment before you let go. You didn’t stop until you were in the hallway, far enough from the dining room that the girls couldn’t hear you.
“You’re gonna have to stop looking like a deer in headlights every time Gabby says something,” you said quietly, your tone soft but firm. “She’s going to figure it out if you keep that up.”
Logan let out a long sigh, leaning against the wall. “I’m tryin’, sweetheart. It’s just…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair.
“Overwhelming?” you finished for him.
“Yeah. That.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes meeting yours. “I don’t know how to do this. Any of this. I don’t remember gettin’ married or havin’ kids. And now, I’ve got a eleven-year-old givin’ me the third degree and a five-year-old who thinks I hung the moon.”
“They’re your daughters, Logan,” you said softly. “And they adore you. Just… be yourself. You’ve always been a good dad to them. That hasn’t changed.”
Logan looked at you, his expression a mixture of uncertainty and determination. “And you?”
“What about me?” you asked, tilting your head slightly.
“How do I do right by you?” His voice was low, the vulnerability in it catching you off guard.
You stepped closer, your hand brushing his. “You’re already doin’ it,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “We’ll figure this out together. Just like we always do.”
He let out a low huff, leaning his side against the wall, “well, if I have to hear one more word about an axolotl and their gills, I might lose it.”
You leaned into the wall, mimicking Logan’s stance, your lips twitching upward as you adjusted your glasses. “Actually, axolotls have both gills and lungs, so they can breathe underwater and directly from the air. But they rely on their gills more than their lungs because they’re primarily aquatic. Oh, and their gills are those frilly things you see sticking out of their necks—external gills, which are super rare in vertebrates…”
Logan’s eyebrows rose slowly, and a wry grin began to tug at the corner of his mouth as your words spilled out faster than you seemed to realize.
“And did you know,” you continued, your voice picking up slightly as you adjusted your glasses again, “they stay in a juvenile state their whole lives? It’s called neoteny, and—”
Logan finally let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Alright, darlin’, I get it. You’re where Gabby gets it from.”
You paused mid-ramble, your brow furrowing as you looked up at him. “Gets what?”
“The whole talk a mile a minute about stuff that makes the rest of us feel like idiots thing,” he teased, his tone gruff but warm. “She starts goin’ on about somethin’, an’ it’s like watchin’ a little tornado of facts. Now I know where she gets it.”
Your cheeks flushed slightly, a mix of amusement and bashfulness flashing across your face. “I don’t talk that much.”
Logan arched a brow, his grin widening just a touch. “Sure, sweetheart. Keep tellin’ yourself that.”
You huffed, pushing lightly against his chest with the back of your hand, though your lips tugged into a reluctant smile. “You’re impossible.”
“Yeah, but you’re still stuck with me,” he teased, his tone laced with an unexpected softness.
For a moment, you both stood there in the hallway, the din of breakfast chatter echoing faintly behind the door. Logan’s eyes lingered on you, the faint cherry gloss on your lips catching his attention again as sunlight streamed in through the nearby window.
“I really mean it, darlin’,” Logan said after a beat, his voice dipping into something deeper. “You’ve got no idea how much I appreciate you holdin’ this together. All this…” He gestured vaguely, his expression faltering for a second. “It’s a lot to take in.”
Your smile softened, and you reached for his hand instinctively. “We’ve been through worse, Logan. Together. We always find a way.”
Logan’s gaze dropped to your intertwined hands, the touch grounding him. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Always.”
Before the moment could settle further, Scott and Jean walked past the two of you, entering the kitchen. You grabbed Logan’s hand, “c’mon, I want you to see somethin’.”
You pulled Logan to the doorway of the kitchen, motioning for him to stay quiet. His brow furrowed, but he didn’t resist as he leaned slightly into the frame beside you, peeking into the room. Scott was at the counter, pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee, while Jean stood nearby, polishing an apple against her sleeve.
“Why are we standin’ here like—” Logan began, but you held up a finger to shush him.
“Wait for it,” you murmured, a mischievous glint in your eyes.
From behind the island, Gabby and Laura crouched in near-perfect silence. Gabby’s face was alight with glee as Laura whispered instructions, holding a small device that looked suspiciously like something Jones might have helped them cobble together.
Logan squinted. “What the hell are they—”
“Shh!” you hissed, suppressing a grin as Laura pressed a button on the device.
The coffee maker on the counter suddenly sputtered and hissed, steam pouring out in dramatic bursts as it began to shake. Scott froze mid-sip, frowning at the machine.
“What the—” Scott leaned in cautiously, placing his mug down.
With a loud pop, a stream of glitter shot out from the coffee maker, spraying directly onto Scott’s chest and face. His entire upper body sparkled in gold and silver flecks as he stumbled back, coughing in surprise.
Gabby popped up from behind the counter, arms thrown in the air triumphantly. “Success!”
Laura stood beside her, a small, satisfied smirk tugging at her lips. “Glitter bomb: 100% effective.”
Logan stared, wide-eyed, as Scott wiped at his face in a futile attempt to rid himself of the glitter. “Girls,” Scott said, his voice low and measured in a tone that suggested he was summoning all of his patience, “what did I say about tamperin’ with the coffee maker?”
Gabby, undeterred, pointed at him dramatically. “You said don’t do it. But you never said we couldn’t improve it.”
Jean bit into her apple, turning slightly away to hide her laughter behind a hand.
“You let them do this?” Scott asked, glaring at her.
“I let them? Scott, they’re your nieces,” Jean said smoothly, not bothering to hide the amusement in her tone.
“They’re your nieces too!” Scott protested, but Jean just shrugged, taking another bite of her apple.
Logan let out a low chuckle beside you, shaking his head. “They’re somethin’ else.”
You grinned, nudging him lightly with your elbow. “They’re just like you.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, leaning closer. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, you know exactly what it means,��� you teased. “You’re as much of a troublemaker as they are. Don’t think I haven’t seen the pranks you’ve pulled.”
“Pranks? Me?” Logan’s expression feigned innocence, though the corner of his mouth twitched in amusement. “Sweetheart, I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“Right,” you drawled, clearly unconvinced. “You’ve just coincidentally passed on all your mischief genes to Laura and Gabby?”
Logan let out a soft laugh, his gaze flicking back to the kitchen where Gabby was now dancing around Scott, singing, “Uncle Scott is the glitter king!” at the top of her lungs.
Laura crossed her arms, clearly pleased with her handiwork. “Don’t worry. It’s biodegradable glitter,” she said in a tone that suggested she didn’t actually care about Scott’s glitter predicament but wanted to seem magnanimous.
Scott groaned, his voice rising in frustration. “You two better clean this up. And my shirt. And my—” He gestured vaguely at his glitter-covered face.
Gabby giggled. “Sure, Uncle Scott. Right after breakfast.”
Scott turned to Jean for backup, but she just shrugged again. “You’ll be fine, Scott. You’ve been through worse.”
“Not worse than this,” Scott muttered darkly, picking at a gold fleck on his visor.
You stifled another laugh as Logan crossed his arms, watching the scene unfold with an almost paternal fondness. “They really only prank Summers?”
You nodded, grinning. “Every time. Jean’s always off-limits, but Scott? Fair game. Laura says it builds his character.”
Logan shook his head, still smiling. “Kid’s got my sense of humor, all right.”
“See?” you said, leaning closer to him. “They’re just like you.”
Logan glanced down at you, his expression softening as his gaze lingered. “Guess I’ve got a lot to live up to, huh?”
“You already do,” you said quietly, your hand brushing against his. “More than you know.”
Before Logan could respond, Gabby’s excited voice interrupted. “Mommy! Daddy! Did you see? Uncle Scott’s a walking disco ball!”
You turned just as Gabby bolted toward you both, her small arms outstretched. Logan instinctively crouched to catch her as she launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Did you like it, Daddy?” Gabby asked, her face bright with anticipation.
Logan hesitated, his arms tightening slightly around her as he glanced at you for guidance. You smiled, nodding almost imperceptibly.
“Yeah, kid,” Logan said finally, his voice gruff but warm. “You got him good.”
Gabby beamed, hugging him tighter before pulling back to look at him. “Laura says we should do water balloons next time. But I think paint bombs would be cooler.”
Logan chuckled, standing with her still in his arms. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Gabby.”
Gabby laughed, leaning her head against his shoulder. You watched the two of them, your chest tightening at the sight of Logan holding her so naturally, even if his memories of her weren’t there yet.
Logan caught your eye, his expression unreadable but intense, as if he were trying to piece together the life he couldn’t remember but was already a part of.
For now, you just smiled, stepping closer to place a hand on his arm. “Come on,” you said softly. “Let’s get back in there before Scott recruits you to clean up his glitter.”
Logan let out a low chuckle, his grip on Gabby firm as he followed you back into the kitchen, the warmth of the moment settling around the three of you like a quiet promise.
---
Jean sighed and stepped away, her hands falling from Logan’s temples as she crossed her arms. “I’m sorry, Logan. There’s not much else I can do.”
Logan remained seated, his elbows resting on his knees as his hands clenched together. “So, that’s it? Nothin’? Not even a flicker?”
Jean’s expression softened, but there was a hint of frustration in her voice, more directed at herself than him. “You’ve got a wall in your mind, Logan. One I can’t break through without risking your memories now. If I push too hard, I could do more harm than good.”
He let out a low growl, the sound rumbling in his chest. “Feels like I’m livin’ someone else’s life. Like it ain’t mine.”
“You are living your life,” Jean insisted gently. “This is you. You’re just missing… the journey that got you here.”
Logan ran a hand down his face, leaning back in the chair. His gaze drifted to the floor, but his thoughts were miles away. He could feel the weight of everything—the ring on your hand, the way Gabby called him ‘daddy,’ Laura’s quiet smirk when she saw him, the way you looked at him with such love and familiarity. It wasn’t foreign; it was right. But it was also wrong because he didn’t remember any of it.
Jean knelt beside him, her voice quieter now. “You’ve built something beautiful here, Logan. Something you fought for, even if you can’t remember how. Maybe instead of chasing what’s missing, you should try to live in what’s here.”
Logan’s jaw tightened, his mind battling with itself. Before he could respond, a voice broke the heavy silence.
“Logan?” Your voice was soft but steady from the doorway.
His head snapped up, and for a moment, the tension in his shoulders eased. “Hey, darlin’.”
Jean rose, excusing herself with a subtle nod toward you. As she passed, she gave your arm a gentle squeeze, her own way of offering support, before disappearing down the hall.
You stepped inside, watching Logan closely as you approached. “How are you feeling?”
“Like my head’s been through the ringer,” he muttered, trying to muster a smirk but failing. “Jean couldn’t find much.”
You perched on the arm of the chair, your hand instinctively reaching for his shoulder. “It’s okay,” you said softly, your thumb tracing small circles over his flannel. “You don’t have to remember everything all at once.”
He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “That’s just it. I don’t remember any of it—marryin’ you, findin’ Laura, havin’ Gabby. None of it’s mine.”
Your heart ached at the rawness in his voice, but you squeezed his shoulder gently. “It is yours. Maybe not in the way you think, but it’s yours, Logan. We’re yours.”
He looked up at you then, his eyes darker, clouded with something you couldn’t quite name. “You’re takin’ this awful well.”
You smiled faintly, brushing a stray curl away from his forehead. “I told you when we got married, remember? That no matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Don’t remember that, either,” he admitted gruffly, though there was a flicker of warmth in his voice.
“Well,” you teased lightly, trying to ease the tension, “lucky for you, I do.”
Logan’s hand came up, his fingers brushing against yours where they rested on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, but the weight of his grip spoke volumes.
You brought him into your side, his head resting below your collarbone on your chest, and a small, bittersweet smile crept onto your lips. “It’s kinda ironic if you think about it.”
Logan’s voice was muffled against you, but there was a familiar gruffness to it. “What is?”
“This,” you said softly, one hand brushing through his hair while the other traced idle circles on his shoulder. “You remember all those lives I don’t, and now we’re here, and I’m the one who remembers… but you don’t.”
Logan let out a humorless chuckle, his arms tightening around your waist. “Yeah, darlin’, real funny.”
“Ironic,” you corrected, the corner of your mouth twitching upward, though the ache in your chest lingered. “Not funny.”
Logan exhaled deeply, his breath warm against your collarbone. “Guess I deserve that, huh? All those times, I remembered you, and now you’re stuck rememberin’ for me.”
You stilled your hand for a moment, then leaned back just enough to make him look at you. His eyes were darker than usual, shadowed with frustration and something deeper you couldn’t name. “You don’t deserve this, Logan,” you said firmly. “Don’t ever think that.”
He searched your face, his jaw tightening as he swallowed hard. “Feels like I do,” he murmured. “Every time I’ve lost you… it’s been my fault somehow. Every damn time. And now—” He cut himself off, shaking his head as though trying to dislodge the thought.
“And now,” you said, finishing for him, “you haven’t lost me.”
Logan’s gaze softened, his thumb brushing unconsciously over the fabric of your shirt where his hand rested on your waist. “Not yet.”
“Not at all,” you said, your voice steady. “You’ve got me, Logan. I’m right here.”
His lips twitched, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “For now.”
You sighed, cupping his cheek and guiding his gaze back to yours when it started to drift. “Logan. Stop. We’ve been married for nearly twenty years. I know this is… a lot. It’s a lot for me, too. But you don’t have to figure it all out today, or tomorrow, or even next week.”
He huffed a small laugh, his hand moving to rest over yours. “You always this patient?”
“Only with you,” you teased gently, though the warmth in your voice was genuine. “So don’t make me regret it.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, and for a moment, his smirk was almost real.
You smiled back, letting the silence settle for a few beats before Logan’s arms tightened around you again, pulling you closer. His head rested against your chest, his body warm and solid against yours, and for a moment, you just held him.
---
Footsteps thundered across the broken ground, and then he was there. Logan dropped to his knees beside you, his hands immediately reaching for you, shaking you gently but urgently. “Sweetheart, no, no—open your eyes,” he pleaded, his voice cracking as his hands moved from your face to your shoulders, searching for signs of life.
Your body was limp in his arms, your chest still, your face losing color.
Logan’s breaths came in short, harsh gasps as he pulled you against him, cradling you like you might slip away entirely if he let go. “Y/N,” he whispered, the single word a broken prayer, an unbearable weight of grief choking him. His hands shook as they smoothed over your hair, as though trying to coax you back to him with touch alone.
He didn’t notice Ororo land nearby, didn’t register her sharp intake of breath as she took in the scene. Her hand came up to her mouth, her eyes wide with horror, but she didn’t approach. Behind her, Bobby and Kitty stood frozen, their expressions stricken, but they too stayed back. Even Peter, with his usual strength and calm, had no words.
Logan didn’t care that they were there. Didn’t care about anything except the motionless weight in his arms. He rocked you slightly, his forehead pressing against yours as his ragged breaths turned into choked sobs. “You weren’t supposed to—damn it, you weren’t supposed to do this,” he growled, his voice breaking as he fought against the tears burning in his eyes. “Not this time. Not again.”
Logan pressed his lips to your forehead, his hands shaking as they cupped your face. “Come on, darlin’,” he whispered, his voice soft and cracked. “You’re stronger than this. You’re too stubborn to leave me. Just—just come back.”
The others stood frozen, unable to move, unable to interrupt the devastating scene unfolding before them. Ororo’s hand clutched her chest, tears streaking down her face as she turned away, giving Logan what little privacy she could in this moment of unbearable pain.
But Logan didn’t notice. He couldn’t notice. His world had narrowed to you—the unbearable stillness of your body, the haunting silence that surrounded you now.
He didn’t let go, even as the destruction around them finally began to settle, the last vestiges of Jean’s power fading into nothingness. His arms tightened around you, his forehead pressing to yours again as he whispered brokenly, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t save you. I’m so damn sorry.”
Time seemed to stand still in the worst possible way. For the first time in his long, painful life, Logan felt completely and utterly powerless. The ring he’d carried for over a century burned like a brand against his chest, a cruel reminder of all the promises he’d never been able to keep.
Logan buried his face against your neck, his voice raw as he whispered, “I was gonna tell you. About the ring. About everything. You—you deserved to know.” His thumb brushed over your cheek, as if he could will the life back into you.
He pulled back, his tear-streaked face contorted in anguish as he gazed down at you. “I love you,” he said, his voice breaking on every syllable. “I’ve loved you through every lifetime, and I’ll love you in the next one, too. But please, sweetheart, don’t make me wait again. Not this time. Please.”
His hands trembled as he touched your cheek again, his thumb brushing over your skin like it might bring you back. “I love you,” he repeated, his voice hoarse. “I’ll always love you.”
But you didn’t move. Your chest didn’t rise. You were gone.
Logan’s breath hitched as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead—one last desperate, lingering moment of tenderness. When he pulled back, his gaze swept over your still features, his expression caught somewhere between disbelief and devastation.
Behind him, Ororo, Bobby, Kitty, and Peter stood at a distance, their faces drawn with grief. None of them moved to intervene. They knew better than to intrude on this moment, on Logan’s anguish.
The air felt impossibly heavy as Logan shifted, gathering your lifeless form into his arms. His movements were slow, deliberate, as though handling something too precious to break further. He cradled you close, his head bowing as he let out a shuddering breath. The others watched as he rose to his feet, every muscle in his body screaming in protest, though he showed no sign of it.
“Logan…” Ororo began softly, stepping forward.
He didn’t acknowledge her. His eyes were locked on you, his focus unwavering. Without a word, he turned away, carrying you toward the bridge. There was no Blackbird to take them home—Jean’s power had obliterated it along with so much else—but Logan didn’t seem to care about the logistics. His only concern was you.
---
Logan jerked awake, gasping, his body tense and drenched in cold sweat. The dim light of the bedroom barely illuminated his surroundings, but he didn’t need it to know where he was. The warmth beside him, the faint scent of your cherry lip gloss lingering in the air—those were enough to remind him. This was 2023. You were alive.
He turned his head to look at you, his breathing still uneven. You were curled on your side, your glasses resting on the nightstand, your hand loosely clutching the blanket. Peaceful. Alive.
“Logan?” your voice, soft and drowsy, broke the silence. You stirred, sensing his distress even in your half-asleep state. “What’s wrong?”
He swallowed hard, running a hand down his face. “Nothin’, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice rough and unconvincing. “Go back to sleep.”
But you sat up anyway, your hair slightly mussed, your gaze focusing on him even without your glasses. “You had another nightmare, didn’t you?” You reached out, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “Was it… bad?”
Logan closed his eyes, exhaling shakily. He wanted to lie, to brush it off and tell you he was fine, but the weight of the memory still clung to him like a shadow he couldn’t shake. “Yeah,” he admitted finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
Without hesitation, you slid closer to him, wrapping your arms around his torso. “It’s okay,” you murmured, resting your head against his shoulder. “I’m here.”
His body stiffened at first, the vulnerability of the moment making his instincts scream to pull away, but then he let out a shaky breath and folded you into his arms. The solid warmth of you against him—the weight of your presence—was like a lifeline, anchoring him back to the present.
“I dreamed about… losin’ you,” he said after a long moment, his voice low and raw. “It—it was like I could feel it happenin’ all over again.”
Your heart ached at the pain in his tone, but you didn’t pull back. Instead, you tightened your hold on him, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. “You didn’t lose me,” you whispered. “I’m right here, Logan.”
His arms tightened around you as though he needed to remind himself you were real. After a few moments, he pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes searching your face like he was memorizing every detail. His hands came up to frame your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks.
“I gotta hold you,” he said, his voice gruff but almost pleading. “Just let me—” His words faltered, and he leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was desperate yet tender, like he was pouring all the fear and love in his heart into the connection.
You kissed him back without hesitation, your hands resting on his chest. But when he pulled back only to kiss you again—this time slower, deeper—you pulled away slightly, just enough to catch your breath. “Logan,” you murmured, your voice gentle, “are you sure you’re okay?”
His forehead rested against yours, his breath warm against your lips. “Just lemme kiss you, please,” he said softly, his voice almost breaking. “Need to feel you. Need to know you’re here.”
Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but you nodded, your hands sliding up to cup his face. “I’m here,” you whispered, pressing your lips to his again, reassuring him with every touch that you weren’t going anywhere.
Time seemed to stop as you stayed like that, locked in the quiet intimacy of the moment. His hands moved to your waist, holding you securely, while yours stayed on his face, grounding him. Eventually, you pulled back, your noses brushing, your breaths mingling.
“You wanna talk about it?” you asked softly, your fingers tracing soothing patterns along his jawline.
Logan hesitated, his eyes flickering with something raw and unspoken. “Not yet,” he admitted, his voice thick. “Just… don’t leave me tonight, darlin’.”
You shook your head, offering him a soft smile despite the emotion welling in your chest. “I’m not going anywhere,” you promised, wrapping your arms around him again.
---
The Blackbird hummed steadily, the low vibration underscoring the tense silence among the team. You glanced toward Logan, his expression hard and unreadable as he stared out the small window. He hadn’t said much since takeoff, and you didn’t push him. Instead, you’d focused on Jean, who was reviewing the mission details, and Scott, who’d been unusually quiet.
“I can handle this,” Logan had said when you vouched for him earlier. You hadn’t doubted him then, and you didn’t now. But Scott’s skepticism hung heavy in the cabin, evident in every glance he shot Logan’s way.
You let out a soft breath and shifted in your seat, nudging Logan’s arm with your elbow. “Hey,” you said quietly, leaning in. “You good?”
Logan turned his head, his eyes meeting yours for a moment. He nodded, though his jaw stayed tight. “Yeah, sweetheart. I’m fine.”
You didn’t buy it, but you let it go. For now.
Scott’s voice cut through the tension. “We’re approaching the drop zone. Everyone stay sharp. This should be quick, but let’s not get sloppy.”
“Sloppy?” Logan muttered under his breath. “We don’t do sloppy.”
Scott shot him a look from the cockpit but didn’t respond, and you bit back a small smile despite the nerves fluttering in your chest.
---
The mission was supposed to be simple. Extract intel, neutralize threats, and get out. But as usual, things didn’t go as planned.
The team moved as a unit through the labyrinthine corridors of the facility, the dim lighting casting long shadows that danced with every flicker of movement. Logan was at the front, claws out, his senses leading the way. You stayed close, your focus split between him and the others.
“Jean, you got eyes on the server room?” Scott’s voice crackled through the comms.
“About twenty meters ahead,” Jean replied, her voice calm despite the rising tension.
Logan’s claws retracted with a snikt as he held up a hand, signaling everyone to stop. His nose twitched, and his head tilted slightly. “Something’s off,” he murmured, his voice low.
Before anyone could ask what, the ground beneath your feet rumbled, and the corridor ahead exploded in a burst of heat and light. You stumbled back, shielding your face, as alarms blared throughout the facility.
“Damn it!” Scott barked. “It’s a trap!”
Logan was already moving, his claws gleaming as he launched himself toward the first wave of attackers. “Get to the server room!” he shouted over his shoulder. “I’ll clear the way!”
“Logan, wait—” But he was gone, a blur of fury and precision as he tore through the enemy.
You exchanged a quick glance with Jean and Ororo before taking off in the opposite direction with them. The mission had gone sideways, but there was no time to panic. Focus was key.
---
You weren’t sure how long it had been—minutes? Hours? The battle had stretched into chaos, and every step felt like a fight to stay alive. You found yourself separated from the others, the air thick with smoke and the metallic tang of blood.
Your powers buzzed beneath your skin, a familiar warning. You’d been careful not to overuse them, knowing the toll it took, but the situation left you little choice. Cornered by a group of heavily armed soldiers, you raised your hands, time itself seeming to shudder as you concentrated.
The soldiers froze mid-step, their weapons hanging suspended in the air. Sweat beaded on your forehead as you pushed harder, distorting the flow of time around you. The strain was immediate, your body protesting as you manipulated the anomaly.
“Y/N!” Logan’s voice cut through the haze, rough and urgent. He appeared out of the smoke, his claws dripping red. His eyes widened when he saw you, the flickering distortion around you making it clear you were at your limit.
“I’m fine,” you said, though your voice was strained. “Go help the others.”
“Like hell,” Logan growled, rushing to your side. His hand gripped your arm firmly but gently. “Stop this. You’re gonna tear yourself apart.”
“I can handle it,” you insisted, though your knees buckled slightly under the weight of your own power.
Logan didn’t argue. Instead, he scooped you up with a gentleness that belied his strength, cradling you against his chest. The anomaly wavered, then shattered, the soldiers collapsing as time resumed. But the damage was done.
As the world around you stabilized, you felt a strange, disorienting pull in your mind—like something had snapped and splintered all at once.
Logan froze mid-step, a strangled noise escaping his throat. His grip on you tightened as his body went rigid, his breathing shallow and erratic.
“Logan?” you murmured, your voice weak. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer. Couldn’t. His eyes darted wildly as memories surged through his mind—memories that didn’t belong to the man he’d been moments ago.
A wedding. Your smile, brighter than the sun, as you held his hands. The weight of the gold ring he’d finally placed on your finger after lifetimes of waiting.
Laughter. Laura’s tiny hands clutching his shirt as he carried her on his shoulders, her giggles echoing through the halls of the mansion. Gabby’s wide grin as she showed him a picture she’d drawn of the four of you—her family.
Peace. The quiet nights on the porch, your head resting on his shoulder as the stars twinkled overhead.
Love.
A life.
A family.
Logan stumbled, dropping to his knees as the memories overwhelmed him. They were vivid and unrelenting, a rush of emotion and experience that left him gasping for air.
Your hands trembled as you knelt beside Logan, panic bubbling in your chest. His body shook, his breaths coming in sharp, shallow gasps. You reached out, gripping his shoulders. “Logan! Please—what’s wrong? Talk to me!”
He didn’t respond. His eyes were wide and unfocused, darting as though he was watching something invisible and overwhelming. His claws had retracted, his hands pressed flat to the ground like he was trying to anchor himself.
“Logan…” Your voice cracked, tears blurring your vision. “I’m sorry—I don’t know what I did—please, just say something.”
His breath hitched sharply, and he finally looked at you, though his gaze was distant, almost haunted. “I… I can’t—” His voice was rough, fractured, as though he was choking on the words. “It’s… I remember.”
You froze. The blood roaring in your ears was nearly deafening. “What do you mean? Remember what?”
Logan shook his head as if trying to clear it, but his face was pale, his features twisted with a mix of disbelief and something raw—grief? Love? Fear? You couldn’t tell.
“It’s us.” His hands reached for you instinctively, his calloused palms cupping your face. “I see you. I see…” His words faltered, and his gaze flickered like he was staring into a memory you couldn’t reach. “The wedding. Laura. Gabby. God, darlin’, I see all of it. I feel it.”
Your heart clenched, your breath catching in your throat. “You remember this life?” you whispered, your hands resting on his wrists.
Logan’s eyes, normally so sharp and guarded, now brimmed with something far more vulnerable—tears threatening to spill as his gaze bore into yours. “Yeah,” he rasped, his voice rough, choked. “Not just bits and pieces… all of it.”
Tears continued to blur your vision as you searched his face, struggling to process his words. His hands stayed on your face, steady even though they were trembling slightly, and his eyes darted over yours like he was trying to memorize every detail, afraid you might vanish if he looked away for even a second.
“Logan…” Your voice wavered, the weight of the moment pressing down on your chest. “You… remember everything?”
He nodded, the movement jerky, uncoordinated. “Yeah. Every damn thing,” he rasped, his voice thick with emotion. “I remember… us. Our life. Laura. Gabby. The day I put this ring on your finger.” His thumb brushed against the gold band on your left hand, his expression flickering between awe and devastation. “I remember it all, darlin’. And it’s like I’ve been livin’ two lives at once.”
Your heart twisted, torn between relief and worry. Relief that he was remembering the life you’d built together—your family, your home—but worry because you knew what this meant for him. Logan wasn’t just remembering. He was reconciling two lifetimes, one full of loss and pain, and one where he’d finally found peace.
You cupped his face now, your hands trembling against his rough, stubbled cheeks. “Logan,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the distant sounds of the fight still raging in the facility. “You’re here. You’re with me. With us. And that’s all that matters.”
His eyes stayed locked on yours, and you could see the storm of emotions swirling behind them—grief, guilt, love, hope. “It’s real,” he said, almost like he needed to hear it to believe it. “This… all of it… it’s real. I didn’t lose you this time.”
“No,” you murmured, tears spilling freely now. “You didn’t lose me. You’ve got me, Logan. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
His hands tightened ever so slightly on your face, his forehead lowering until it rested gently against yours. His breath hitched, and you felt the faintest tremor run through him. “I lost you six times, sweetheart. Six times. I held you in my arms while you—” His voice broke, and he sucked in a sharp breath like he was trying to keep himself together. “I can’t… I can’t lose you again. I won’t.”
“You won’t,” you said firmly, brushing your thumbs over his cheeks. “You won’t, Logan. This is our life. Our family. And you’re not gonna lose me. Not now, not ever.”
For a long moment, the two of you just stayed like that, kneeling on the cold floor in the middle of a war zone, holding on to each other like the rest of the world had ceased to exist.
Finally, Logan spoke again, his voice quieter now, though no less weighted. “I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, his tone raw. “I remember us, but I don’t… I don’t feel like the man you married. I don’t feel like Laura and Gabby’s dad.”
Your heart ached at his words, but you held his gaze, your own resolve strengthening. “You are the man I married,” you said softly but firmly. “You’re the same Logan who’s been by my side for twenty years, who’s been an amazing father to Laura and Gabby, who’s built this life with me. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, but it will. You’ll remember not just with your head, but with your heart, too. I promise.”
He closed his eyes briefly, exhaling shakily before nodding. “I hope you’re right, darlin’,” he murmured. “Because I don’t wanna screw this up.”
“You won’t,” you assured him. “We’ll figure it out together.”
Another explosion sounded in the distance, and Logan’s head whipped around, his instincts kicking in. “We gotta move,” he said gruffly, helping you to your feet. “You okay to walk?”
“I’m fine,” you said, though your legs wobbled slightly as the adrenaline began to wear off. Logan steadied you with a hand on your waist, his touch firm but careful.
“Let’s find the others,” he said, his voice steadying as he slipped back into mission mode. But before you could take a step, he stopped, turning back to you. His hand cupped your cheek again, his eyes soft but serious. “I love you,” he said, the words rough but filled with conviction. “I just… I needed to say it.”
Your breath caught, but you smiled, leaning into his touch. “I love you, too,” you said, your voice trembling with emotion. “Always.”
He nodded once, then released you, his claws sliding out with a familiar snikt. “Stay close,” he said, his tone low and protective as he led the way down the corridor. And though the chaos of the mission loomed ahead, you felt a flicker of hope—because no matter what, you were facing it together.
---
Once back at the mansion, the first things you saw were Laura and Gabby standing by Rogue, waiting for the others to clear the jet before you and Logan stepped off.
Gabby was the first to make a move, walking at a brisk pace until Logan finished climbing down the stairs and kneeled down, “c’mere princess.”
She let out a happy squeal and ran the rest of the way, launching herself into Logan’s arms. “You haven’t called me that in ages!”
Laura walked over to the three of you, giving you a short hug from the side, “weeks, Gabby, weeks.”
Gabby removed herself from Logan’s chest, turning to face her sister, “that’s ages Laura!”
Laura crossed her arms, her eyebrow arched in exaggerated disbelief. “It’s weeks, Gabby. Don’t be so dramatic.”
Logan chuckled, low and gravelly, still kneeling on the hangar floor. His hands rested lightly on Gabby’s shoulders as she spun back around to look at him, her big, expressive eyes narrowing in mock irritation.
“Well, she’s right about one thing,” Logan said, ruffling Gabby’s hair. “I haven’t been callin’ you ‘princess’ like I should.”
Gabby beamed, throwing her arms around his neck again. “It’s okay, Daddy. I forgive you!”
Behind them, you stood near the ramp, watching the scene with a mix of relief and warmth. Logan caught your eye over Gabby’s shoulder, his gaze softening as it locked on yours. For a moment, it was like the rest of the world disappeared.
Laura’s voice broke the spell. “You’re forgiven this time,” she said with a teasing smirk as she stepped closer. “But Gabby’s gonna milk it for at least a week. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Logan straightened, a hand resting on Gabby’s back as he looked at Laura with that gruff, fatherly affection he’d perfected. “Yeah, well, I reckon I can handle that.”
Gabby grinned triumphantly, glancing between her sister and her dad. “See? Told you I’m his favorite.”
Logan groaned, shaking his head as he rose to his feet, lifting Gabby effortlessly in his arms. “Don’t start that, kiddo. I got room for both of you troublemakers.”
Gabby giggled, but Laura rolled her eyes. “Nice save, Dad.”
You chuckled softly, stepping forward now that the moment felt a little less overwhelming. “Alright, you two,” you said, your voice warm but firm. “Let’s get inside. Everyone’s probably waiting, and your dad looks like he could use a break.”
Logan gave you a small, appreciative smile, one that lingered longer than usual, like he was drinking in every detail of you standing there. He shifted Gabby to his hip and reached out with his free hand, his calloused fingers brushing yours briefly as you both turned toward the mansion.
The walk back was filled with Gabby’s chatter, Laura’s sarcastic commentary, and Logan’s occasional grunt of amusement. But as the four of you crossed the threshold into the warmth of the mansion, you could feel the shift in Logan—a quiet resolve mixed with the raw emotion still simmering beneath the surface.
Once the girls were out of earshot, you tugged gently on Logan’s sleeve, pulling him aside into the quieter hallway. His brows furrowed slightly, but he let you guide him, his hand instinctively finding its way to your waist.
“Logan,” you started softly, looking up at him as the distant echoes of the mansion’s activity faded. “Are you okay?”
Logan’s jaw tensed, his eyes searching yours as though weighing his answer. The soft glow of the mansion’s lights illuminated his face, highlighting the exhaustion and turmoil etched into his features. He let out a low sigh, the sound heavy with emotion, before his hand slid from your waist to cradle the side of your face.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice rough but honest. “It’s like... I’ve been livin’ someone else’s life for weeks. Like it was mine but not mine, ya know? And now…” He paused, his thumb brushing gently over your cheek, his brow furrowing. “Now it’s all there. Every moment. Every damn thing. I remember our girls, our wedding, us. And it’s... it’s real. But it feels like it shouldn’t be. Like it’s a dream I’m gonna wake up from any second.”
Your heart clenched at the raw vulnerability in his voice. You reached up, covering his hand with yours, grounding him. “It’s not a dream, Logan. This is real. We’re real. Laura and Gabby are real. You’re their dad, my husband, and the man who’s been by my side through everythin’. You’ve got us, and we’ve got you.”
His eyes softened, but there was still a shadow of doubt lingering in them. “Feels like I’ve been walkin’ around with a piece missin’, and now it’s slammed back into place all at once. It’s almost too much.”
You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head against his chest. His heart thundered beneath your ear, fast and unsteady, but his arms came around you like they always had, holding you tightly. “You don’t have to figure it all out tonight,” you murmured. “We’ll take it one step at a time. Together.”
Logan buried his face in your hair, his breath hitching as he clung to you. “I missed this,” he said, so quietly you almost didn’t catch it. “Even when I didn’t know what I was missin’, I missed this.”
You smiled against his chest, your tears dampening the fabric of his shirt. “You’re home now,” you whispered. “That’s what matters.”
He nodded against you, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes. “You’re somethin’ else, ya know that?” he said, his lips twitching into a faint, almost self-conscious smile. “Don’t deserve you.”
“You’re wrong,” you said firmly, your hand coming up to rest against his cheek. “We deserve each other. And we deserve this life we’ve built. It hasn’t been perfect, Logan, but it’s ours. And it’s worth every fight.”
Logan’s hand slid to the small of your back, his thumb tracing lazy circles there. His gaze held yours for a long moment before he dipped his head, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “Thanks, darlin’,” he murmured. “For not givin’ up on me.”
“Never,” you said softly, a smile tugging at your lips. “Now, let’s get back to the girls. They’ll probably think we’re plotting something if we’re gone too long.”
Logan huffed a quiet laugh, the sound easing some of the tension in his expression. “Yeah, don’t need Gabby comin’ up with some wild theory about why we’re takin’ our time.”
You chuckled, threading your fingers through his as you began walking back toward the living area. “She’d have us starring in some kind of superhero soap opera.”
“Kid’s got a hell of an imagination,” Logan muttered, though there was unmistakable fondness in his tone.
As the two of you reached the living room, Laura and Gabby looked up from the couch where they were sprawled out with popcorn and a movie on the screen. Gabby’s face lit up when she saw you, and she patted the spot next to her enthusiastically. “C’mon, Daddy! We saved you a seat!”
Logan glanced at you, his lips quirking in a small, grateful smile. “Think I better take her up on that,” he murmured.
“You better,” you teased, giving him a nudge. “I’ll grab some drinks and join you.”
He squeezed your hand once before letting go, striding over to settle between his daughters. Gabby immediately curled up against him, and Laura leaned over to steal a piece of his popcorn, earning a mock growl from him.
As you watched the three of them together, laughter bubbling up from the couch, you felt a deep sense of peace settle over you. Logan might still be navigating the storm in his mind, but he was here. And with time, you knew he’d come to fully embrace the life he’d found again.
and it's a happy ever after!!
this was meant to be much shorter. actually, i originally wasn't going to include logan getting his memories back and just make that into a bonus chapter but i couldn't stand it. if it's gonna be a happy ever after i had to go all the way.
and i have i have an idea of how they found laura that does not involve the logan movie. cause, no, no, no, they are getting their happy ending.
with that in mind, again, if anyone is interested in reading about how reader and logan got married, found laura, had gabby, let me know! or, if you have any ideas of stories you want me to tell with reader and logan don't be afraid to ask! (i might have already started writing for the alternate timeline...)
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#james howlett x reader#james howlett x you#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett fic#i love you in every time
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Sometimes I think Merlin and Arthur started the sacrificing each other to save each other shit too soon into the series.
Then I remember this scene exists.
(Screenshot from S1E2 - Valiant of Merlin bringing the snake head from the enchanted shield to Arthur to warn him that he’s in danger.)
They moved quickly, but they have a damn good reason for it. I honestly can’t say I blame them.
Merlin learned two things about his destiny with Arthur from this episode:
The first is that Arthur will listen when it matters, but his father’s influence runs deep. Arthur cares more about people’s opinion of him than anything else because he’s been groomed his entire life to become the future king, and Uther is tyrannical in his power so he believes that his is the only way to rule. Arthur picked up bad habits, so while he’s still young and learning what kind of man and leader he wants to be, he could still go either way and Merlin can’t yet trust him to always make the best decisions. (Proved in S1E3 when he enlists Morgana to talk to Arthur about the Afank)
The second thing is that Arthur believes in the systems that Merlin knows to be broken, so he learns it’s better to come to Arthur with results rather than warnings, because Arthur believes the systems in place can help, even in situations where they’d be more of a liability.
Both points are then enforced through season 1 and reinforced by Merlin himself in season 2 onwards.
Arthur learned that Merlin is loyal and honest to a fault, but because of the lifelong grooming as royalty and someone who’s supposed to be “above all others” - as proven when Uther says “his life isn’t worthless, it’s worth less than yours” to Arthur in S1E4 when he denies Arthur a group of men to take to save Merlin - it takes a while for it to really sink in that someone can be loyal and genuinely like him without ulterior motive, and when he finally does recognise that Merlin’s devotion is genuinely sincere, he pushes Merlin away (S2E1) in an attempt to keep himself from getting too close and then hurt by what his father would call his own naivety, rather than just admitting that sometimes people are just bad people who do bad things.
He then subconsciously or not learns that Merlin not being by his side is bad so he keeps him around but at a distance with walls built to protect himself. I can go more into that another time. Uther scapegoats Arthur for a lot, and even acknowledges that he’s a bad parent a few times but never does anything to change the behaviour so his apologies aren’t worth shit. Add that to the genocidal tyranny, and you’ve got a fascinating character who somehow isn’t the main villain of the story. I hate him, he should go play hop scotch on quick sand, but damn is he interesting from a writing/analytical standpoint.
So, yeah, they moved from “if anyone wants to kill him, they can go right ahead. I’ll give them a hand” (-Merlin S1E1) to “…Certain death. Few who have crossed the mountains in search of the Mortaeus Flower have made it back alive” “Sounds like fun” (-Gaius and Arthur S1E4) pretty quickly, but it makes sense when you think about why they moved that quickly with context of how they interact and their (assumed) past experiences.
#merlin meta#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc#merthur#merlin x arthur#merlin and arthur#bbc gaius#long post#character analysis#sorta#i’m bad at tagging#coherency? on my blog? never.#fuck uther#season 1 episode 2#bbc valiant#i’m going insane
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- Post Bellum
Relationships - Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Reader
Summary - After the military, you're left fumbling with your life, unsure of what to do. In comes the prospect of private contracting, and you get hired by two insanely hot women.
Warnings: ✨Trauma✨
A/N: this is more of an intro chapter, but there is more to come I promise. This isn't going to be so much so a series, rather a bunch of interconnected one-shots with some semblence of a timeline and plot
The army was never really your choice. Both of your parents had been in the military, your mother in the air force and your father in the navy seals. They had met afterward, bonding over shared trauma, and eventually they had a kid. A kid, you, who was pressured into joining the army and beating your parents’ standards. A kid who suffered a lot during her deployment. A kid, who retired from the military at a young age, early twenties because you joined as soon as you were eighteen. Your father joined when he was twenty, your mother twenty-two, so of course you had to beat that record as well.
While you regretted signing up, you did have some good memories. Hanging out with your crew around a small fire, only letting it burn for a little while so as to not draw too much attention, chatting softly. Or sitting in the dirt, a gun pressed against your shoulder with blood and tears covering your face. You remembered sitting in the barracks after grueling hours of training, sweat dripping down your back and soaking your shirt through while you laughed, exhausted.
After the marine corps, the division you were in, one of the hardest ones, you wanted peace. You wanted to live a peaceful life without flinching at every little sound and having to take the night shift. You wanted to live a life without being paranoid that someone would leap out and jump you, or that a barking dog would charge at you. Everything that reminded you, even the slightest of your time serving, set you off. It was impossible to get a moment of peace.
Your parents suggested therapy, part of the reason you lived in N.Y, but after one session you quit. New York supposedly had one of the best post-military therapy groups. It was a bunch of bullshit where you talked about feelings and shit. Nothing you were interested in. Not that they knew that. You told them you kept going and that it was helping. They called you often, but half the time you ignored their calls, claiming you were busy. To them, you were living a good life. A life where you had a good job and you were okay.
But you weren’t okay. You still woke up in cold sweats, looking around your room with frantic eyes as you searched for potential threats and your hands tightening around the gun you kept on the bedside table. Screams echoing in your mind, whether they were from children or adults – your own or your friends. The shadows in your apartment seemed darker, more ominous than they looked when you were a kid. Your father wasn't there to protect you anymore, nor your mother, hugging you tight and placing a tender kiss on your head. The shadows, the invisible monsters, were supposed to go away once you got older, but they only got worse. And your parents weren’t here to help.
They lived across the country in L.A while you were in New York. It was a decision that you regretted, but you had paid months in advance for the apartment, so there was no going back. It was constantly moving in N.Y, a constant source of noise that never stopped, even at night. A lot of sleepless nights occurred because of that. New York never slept so you rarely did.
Point is, you couldn't rest. Peace never came no matter how hard you tried. You tried all sorts of hobbies, bird watching, knitting, sewing, reading, video games - everything. You tried it all and only the last two stuck really, but they did nothing to stop the constant buzz of fearful anticipation that ran through your veins. You were constantly on edge, unable to turn off your senses. New York was far too loud for you to settle down and you wished that you had chosen someplace else to stay.
An old friend, one of your mentors from the military, suggested private contracting. You had called him one night, breathless and wide-eyed. Desperate for someone to remind you that you were safe, that none of your fears were real. He soothed you, his voice calm over the phone before he suggested contracting. So, you figured out how to sign up for it and listed your services. It turns out, that after some research, private work paid a lot. Like a lot. If this worked out, you would be rich in no time.
You ran a hand down your face as you stared at the blue light of your computer, emails sitting dauntingly in front of you, all of them marked unread. The clock on your computer told you it was 3 am, a common occurrence for you. Within just a couple days, you had about dozen people reach out. And you thought you were ready. Yet simply clicking on a single email seemed like an impossible task. The idea of committing to a person, surrendering part of your control felt like too much.
Fingers twitching on the mouse, you closed your eyes before scrolling then randomly selecting on one. Looking over it, you thought that maybe this wouldn't be so hard. Two women, both married, in need of a personal bodyguard. Both rich, successful, lawyers who had made a lot of enemies over the years. They were looking for someone to accompany either of them throughout the day. You chewed on your lip as you thought it over, looking at the name at the end of the email. Agatha.
With your sleep-ridden brain, you somehow thought it was a good idea to respond now, and you clicked reply. It was tempting enough. They were offering a shit ton of money that would have you set for a long while. You managed to type up something coherent, agreeing to meet up with her tomorrow, absently typing in a time and place. Some coffee shop you visit often. You slammed your computer shut, jumping at the noise it made.
You settled back into your bed, setting your gun down onto the table next to you and sitting up against the headboard. Your eyes flickered around the room constantly, hardly able to rest at night. The shadows in your room were screaming at you, voices of the past that pleaded for help. As much as you wanted to squeeze your eyes shut, block out the noise and try to quiet your mind, but you couldn’t. That would mean being vulnerable.
Eventually your eyes started drooping shut, exhausted from days spent with little to no sleep, and it was already 5 by the time you fell asleep.
^______________^
Your neck hurt when you woke up, a small line of drool streaming from the corner of your mouth. A sign you slept heavily. Wiping it away, you glanced at the clock groggily, jolting when you saw the time. You threw the sheets off you, scrambling out of bed to get dressed. It was 10:30 and faintly, although just barely, you remembered you were meeting up with Agatha at 11. The shop was a good walk away from your apartment. It was nice to have that little bit of exercise in your routine. Not that you didn't go the gym every day and run until your lungs were screaming and lungs were burning.
You brushed your hair and your teeth, groaning at the apparent eye bags. You threw a pair of nice pants on, at least ones that were presentable, and a shirt. A jacket was thrown over that shirt with loose sleeves that allowed mobility. You clipped your holster onto your belt, making sure you had your concealed license in your wallet, and you tucked your gun into its spot. The last thing you wanted was the get stopped because you didn’t have your license on you. Sliding your boots on, you made sure that a knife was placed in there, a backup weapon just in case you needed it. With one last pat down, making sure your laces were double knotted and secure, and your belt was tight, you rushed out the door.
And you turned promptly back around, slamming your shoe against the door to prevent it from closing. You forgot your keys and the printed version of the contract. After they were both successfully nabbed from where they had been carelessly thrown, you were racing down the stairs. Children screamed from inside their parent's apartments, and you tried not to flinch or close your eyes and freeze up right there. Instead, you rushed out of the apartment complex.
The bustling streets of New York hit you like a semi-truck, crashing into you with surprising force. You took a deep breath. You did this every day. It was just people. You could do it. Slowly, you took steps, weaving through the crowds of people. You ignored the way your heartbeat uncontrollably in your chest - it was a common occurrence by now. You were hyper aware of the people and everything they were doing A man reached into his pocket rather quick and you nearly drew your gun.
You followed the roads with practiced ease, even despite the hammering of your heart and the way your ears perked at every little sound. It took a while to make your way through a bunch of people until you reached the cafe. It was a nice corner in the wall shop, quiet with hardly anyone in there most of the time. The prices were cheap, the workers were not loud at all, taking your order with a polite nod. You appreciated it. They seemed to know you like the quiet, not even trying to strike up small conversation like they did with other customers.
Heading up to the counter, you inhaled slowly to calm your breathing before ordering a large iced coffee with two extra shots. That should help keep you awake. You took a seat, fiddling with your thumbs nervously, for some odd reason. You weren't sure why you were nervous. Your coffee was served, and you spent the time anxiously sipping on your drink, relishing in the way caffeine helped wake you up. And after what felt like forever, the door opened, and two very elegant looking women walked in.
You choked on your breath, nearly doing the same to your coffee. It was very clear that they were your soon-to-be employers.
The first had brown hair that was pinned up into a bun, blue eyes shimmering as she glanced around. Her eyes were calculating and cold but held a tint of warmth that you were able to pick out. Pink lipstick adorned her lips that were pursed into a thin line. She was dressed nicely, with boots that clacked on the floor with every step she took.
The other had similar hair, except hers was wavy instead of curly, falling elegantly down her shoulders. Her eyes were a dark chocolate brown that seemed as if they had infinite secrets. Her own steps were silent, quieter than the subtle music that drifted through the cafe. You liked that immediately.
The blue-eyed one spotted you first, her lips pulling into a small smile before she made her way over. You stood, your chair pushed back a bit louder than intended and wiped your palms on your pants. You didn't bother to force a smile onto your face, rather just nodding in greeting.
"Hi, my name's Y/N," you introduced, your voice steady and calm. You had half a mind to stick your hand in greeting, but just the thought of it made you internally shake your head. It was relief when neither of them offered their hand.
"Agatha," the blue-eyed woman introduced, her voice silky smooth, "This is Rio."
Rio grinned, her smile cat-like, and eyes glinting with mischief. It instantly set you on edge, "Y/N is a beautiful name," she purred. She tilted her head, brown eyes taking you in.
You cleared your throat awkwardly, "Can I get you guys anything to drink? Or do you just want to dive right in?"
"Rio will get us some drinks. You and I can get started." Agatha slid into the seat across from you, her long fingers folding in front of her. You sat across from her.
You weren't sure how long it took to go over the terms of the contract, discussing it all in great detail. Both of you had to know what was happening, all the exact terms of the job and what was expected from you as a private contractor, and from her as an employer. Rio joined after retrieving drinks, sipping on her own as she leaned back into her seat, casually crossing her legs. She reminded you of a cat. Calm and composed with a silent smile that spoke volumes, her body portraying so many of her thoughts.
Agatha was different. Her micro-expressions gave everything away, all of her thoughts. One of the many things you had taken from the military was how to read people. People expressed themselves in various different ways. Whether it was clear, voicing their exact thoughts whenever they wanted to. Others were more quiet, only speaking when prompted, but their bodies gave away more than they would like. Little movements, the tensing of their arms, shifting of feet, hunched shoulders - it all gave something away. Rio was one of those people. Agatha wasn't either of those people. She was the quiet commanding type. Tiny expressions on her face, the little twitch of her nose or slight curve of her lips told you what she was feeling. She was a perfect mix of voicing her thoughts yet keeping them close to her chest.
They were certainly an interesting pair.
By the end, you had gone through your entire cup of coffee, and you were still exhausted. Agatha gave you a little smile, her eyes shining with a small bit of hope that was just hardly visible, as she stood from the table.
"I will meet you tomorrow at our place? I'll text you the address." Agatha had gotten your phone number right before the conversation ended. Her words left no room for negotiation, and you nodded, standing from your own seat.
"Yes ma'am."
Rio grinned her smile wide, and you faintly heard her whisper while she walked out with her wife, "I like her."
Taglist: @poppyshuman
#agatha harkness x reader#rio vidal x reader#agatha harkness x rio vidal#agatha harkness x you#rio vidal x you
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WONDERING WHY
0.1 BOYFRIEND
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ summary omit ( verb. ) to leave out or exclude someone / something , either intentionally or forgetfully
word count 4k
warnings our girl is lowkey a brat but i think that’s it other than christian!reader , kook!reader , classism , and allusions to a bad previous relationship
previous chapter
a/n i ended up writing a bunch for this series already , and so here’s the first actual chapter relatively quick after the prologue post:)
THURSDAY MORNINGS usually meant you could sleep in a little later— closer to nine than eight. today , however , you were up at six to get ready for your packed day. you texted jj , reminding him to be here at ten o’clock sharp. no later.
you filled your morning with a jog around the neighborhood , helping your mother make breakfast , and dropping your younger sister off at her friend’s house for a girls day they were having. after that , you had to— for your own sake , go over the checklist of meetings and dinners that you needed to attend before midsummers one more time.
by the time 9:30 rolled around , you were dressed and ready to go down to the tailor for your first fitting. you checked your phone again , seeing if jj had even read your text yet. delivered. maybe he didn’t have his read receipts on.
he’d be here. he’d show up.
that was all you could really tell yourself.
on the other side of the island , jj was just waking up. he jolted awake , face indented from the way he fell asleep on the pillows the night before. he reached over for his phone , looking to see what time it was.
the screen didn’t light up. he quickly shuffled , hand fumbling down the charger cord to see it had been unplugged from the wall. “fuck!” he cursed , shoving himself up from the bed and rushing down the stairs.
“yo , what time is it?” he shouted , hoping one of his many friends would answer him. they all looked over their shoulders from the living room , seeing the blonde stumble around , yanking his clothes and boots on.
“its like quarter to ten,” pope called back out , looking down at his watch.
“fuckkkk!” jj groaned , grabbing the keys to the van, “i’m late! takin’ the twinkie!” he announced , shoving through the front door and bounding down the porch steps. he didn’t even bother to close the door on the way out , instead just hopping behind the van’s wheel and peeling off to figure eight.
kie came around the corner , a couple of water bottles for her friends. “what was that about?” she hummed , looking out the open door.
“he has that thing with the pastor’s kid,” john b answered with a smug smile , grabbing the bottle being held out to him, “he told us ‘bout it yesterday , remember?”
“ohhh , yeah!” kie mused , mind replaying yesterday’s events at the wreck, “she’s cute.”
“she’s also way too polite for jj,” sarah laughed , stealing the water from her husband, “i mean , i remember her from school , and she was just so shy. kept to herself and all that.”
pope shook his head , swallowing down more of his cereal, “nah , they used to be friends way back when though.”
“what?” the girls all gasped.
“rude boy was friends with that shy thing from kie’s parents’ place?” cleo asked , only just ‘meeting’ you yesterday but still as invested.
pope and john b nodded together , recalling a time before high school when jj would skip out on their hangouts to do something with you. ‘family friend , guys. i feel bad,’ he’d lie to them , getting out of whatever they had planned to spend time with you instead.
the group continued theorizing what jj was helping you with , not getting the complete story from him the day before. all the while he was speeding across the island to get to your door before it was ten o’clock. his blue eyes kept darting to the dashboard’s clock , seeing his time run out faster and faster. 9:57 , and he was just now getting to figure eight.
“mom , if jj shows up , will you tell him i’m sick?” you asked quietly , walking into the kitchen where she was working on her laptop.
she peered up at you over her glasses. “jj maybank , your boyfriend?” she smiled , patting for you to sit next to her in the breakfast nook as she was still over the moon from your news earlier in the week, “what’s he coming over to do?”
“he’s not invited anymore,” you corrected her , resting your chin on her shoulder as you looked at her computer screen. it was a spreadsheet , an itinerary for the next weeks approaching midsummers. “he’s late , so i’m upset.”
“well , you can’t blame him , hon,” your mother cooed at you, “he’s probably on the way. give him more than two minutes.” you held back from rolling your eyes at her soft spot for the boy after all of these years. after all of the tears she wiped away from your cheeks when you were fourteen.
“will you tell him i’m sick?” you pleaded again , pulling at the sleeves of her robe like a little kid.
she pressed a kiss to your forehead and tutted at you. “no , baby. we don’t lie in this house,” she answered , going back to typing and organizing on her laptop.
you huffed and pushed yourself out of the booth , straighten out your skirt. “fine , but i’m not happy about this,” you whined , beginning to walk out of the kitchen.
her voice called out your name again as she leaned forward to catch a glimpse of you. you stopped , turning to face her expectantly. “i think it’s a good thing you chose to give him a second chance.”
“yeah,” you sighed , guilt boiling in your gut , ignoring her knowing smile before walking to the front door. you’d just have to go to the fitting by yourself.
as you stepped outside , you could hear the rattle of a car nearing you from the street. it was loud enough to get your attention , telling you whoever was driving was going far too fast for the residential area. next thing you know , the beat up van you knew as john b’s twinkie was pulling into your driveway.
your hand raised above your sight line , blocking the sun so you could glare at jj. “didn’t get my twelve texts?” you asked him , watching as he practically fell out of the van upon his arrival which caused your embarrassment from the amount of times you tried contacting him to simmer.
“i’m sorry! my phone never got plugged in , s’my alarm didn’t go off. the damn twinkie gave out a couple blocks away , and i had to start ‘er back up—“ jj huffed out before you decided to just get in your car. he watched you , already feeling your disappointment.
you rolled down the passenger window , leaning over. “get in , please? we’re late,” you spoke , like you had already forgiven him , which you had. you saw how he was out of breath and the fresh grease stains on his fingers. it wasn’t his fault he was late.
jj ripped the door open , flopping into the passenger seat before buckling up. “where we headed , angel?” he asked you , already poking around in the car’s abundance of compartments.
“the tailor. we have to get you measured for your tux,” you simply answered , backing out of your driveway, “and i have to get re-measured too.”
jj nodded , chewing at his lip , and he couldn’t help but feel like you were giving him the cold shoulder. he was only eight minutes late. but maybe he just didn’t know you anymore. you spoke so much differently than you did from when you were kids , your voice clearer , more affirming. it sounded more like this was a business deal than an old friend doing an old friend a favor.
“it’s kinda like you’re my sugar momma for the next couple’a weeks,” jj chuckled to lighten to mood as you drive through the town’s center , eyeing all of the nice shops he never went to. it’s not like he wanted , but it was another reminder how differently you two grew up from each other.
you scoffed over your small laugh. “i guess so. in a weird way , yeah,” you agreed lightly , finding a parking spot right in front of the business you were going to, “just make sure to use your manners , please. katherine is friends with my dad and a huge gossip.”
“oh , yes , ma’am,” jj saluted you, “i will be prim and proper just for you , m’lady.” he got out of the car as you let out a shaky breath. you followed shortly after , seeing he was already holding the door open. “c’mon , you said we’re in a rush!”
you nudged him with your elbow when you stepped inside the small store. “i only said that so you’d hurry up. we don’t even have an appointment,” you admitted with a chuckle , picking up a pen at the front desk to sign in.
jj’s jaw dropped , letting out a gasp. “miss goodie-two-shoes lied?” he whisper yelled , hand coming to his heart, “is the world ending?”
“hush up,” you bit back , moving about the store as he followed you around like a lost puppy. he wasn’t about to go snooping around figure eight. he didn’t want to deal with it any more than he’d already agreed to.
“y/n! ah , so wonderful to see you , honey!” katherine’s shrill voice echoed through the building as she rushed to the front with her hands high and wide. you barely had time to smile back at her before she yanked you in for a hug. “you know , i’ve been waiting for your behind to get in here for your measurements for weeks!” she cried , guiding you to the back , not even sparing your blonde companion a second glance. you did though , catching jj standing there awkwardly in the front of the store.
“katherine , this is jj,” you interrupted her chatter , stopping to reach back and grab the boy’s hand, “i called about getting him set up with a tux for midsummers?”
katherine’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets when she took in who you were holding onto. “jj maybank…” she hummed , knowing exactly the reputation he and his father carried around, “i didn’t realize he was your plus one this year.”
you could hear the condescension in her voice , and by the tightening grip on your delicate hand , you knew jj could too. “well , he’s my boyfriend so…” you trailed off , waiting for katherine to just do her job and stop being like every other kook on the island. you never understood why your father considered her such a close friend. she was snippy and fake , and it was clear to you since the day you met.
“oh!” she smiled, “well come on back.” she turned to lead you both to the fitting areas , calling out her husband’s name to help out with jj’s measurements.
“boyfriend?” jj whispered to you , still holding your hand.
“didn’t i mention that?” you played dumb , knowing very well you left that little piece of information out yesterday when you got him to accept the deal.
“no , angel,” he shook his head , pulling you to a stop, “that’s like five hangouts worth! i only agreed because it was supposed to be one night of helpin’ ya out! and now you’re tellin’ me i gotta pretend to be your boyfriend too?” your hand reached up to cover jj’s mouth , looking around to make sure no one heard you.
“can we talk later?” you asked him , pleading eyes that begged him to leave it be for now.
but jj just scoffed , dropping your hand and flipping the curtain out of the way to follow after katherine.
YOU HADN’T heard a peep from the men’s parlor. katherine had been chatting in your ear the entire time she measured you , talking about everyone and everything. she mentioned having your family over to her house for dinner soon , which you made a mental note to bring up to your father when you got home later.
but you couldn’t help but think about jj behind the thick , velvet curtain. you heard katherine’s husband muttering every once in awhile , but never jj’s voice. was he actually mad at you? it was all pretend , and it would end right after midsummers. what was the big deal? he had done far worse things to you than omit some facts.
after long enough , katherine decided you didn’t even need to come in at all. “measurements are the same as last year , darling. you wasted your time here today,” she declared , sending the bill to your father’s account all while sending you an underlying message.
you shouldn’t have brought that maybank kid here.
“well , jj needed to get fitted too,” you smiled sweetly, “no harm done by comin’ in.” you were always deemed a nice girl. you were a nice girl , but there was only so much hidden snottiness you could deal with from certain people before becoming just as passive aggressive as them. “i’m actually going to go check on him,” you spoke , already turning to head back his way.
“she tells me we’re dating out of the blue , man! i don’t know what she was thinking , but she’s outta her mind!” you could finally hear jj’s cadence followed by marcus’ belly laugh.
“women,” he chuckled, “i’ll tell you right now , it doesn’t get any better. happy wife , happy life. get used to it , kid,” he advised the younger man , patting his shoulders before letting him know they were all done.
you stepped through the curtain , ignoring the tinge of hurt jj’s words caused in your heart while the metal loops glided across the curtain rod to announce your presence. “let’s go , jj.” you held your hand out to him , not giving him an option of taking his time. he could tell from the way your neck was stiff that something had upset you , so he wasted no time yanking his jeans back on. he didn’t want to be the reason for your cold attitude again. at least not for the rest of the day.
you dragged him out of the store , not sparing katherine a goodbye. you got in the car , buckling up as jj did the same before driving off in silence. it wasn’t long before you were driving through the streets of figure eight , being the only car on the road.
jj was poking around your glove compartment again , flipping through the owner’s manual to fill the car ride. he jumped and dropped the book to the floorboards when you let out a scream. he jolted and look over at you , watching the way your face nearly turned red from the air you were expelling from your body.
“yo , yo!” he shouted at you.
you took a deep breath , closing your eyes when you came to a stop sign. “sorry,” you mumbled , catching your breath still, “i just really , really dislike katherine! she’s so mean and snotty and two-faced! like , she was makin’ comments the entire time just poking at me!” you ranted , not caring that jj just saw you let out a scream you’d been holding in for about a week, “and don’t get me started on all of her implications about you.”
jj was still taken aback , not too sure what to say. he’d never seen you unravel like that before. he’d never thought you could. “um— well , at least we got it outta the way…” he tried to help the situation.
“yeah,” you nodded breathlessly , beginning to drive again like nothing had happened.
after a few more minutes of awkward silence , jj decided to speak up again , not forgetting what you tabled earlier. “boyfriend , huh?”
you sighed. you had forgotten about the conversation you still needed to have with him , so blinded by your frustrations. “yeah , so maybe my parents assumed that when i told them i had a date for midsummers last week , it was a boyfriend? and maybe i happened to leave that out when asking you to come with me?”
“oh , really?” jj feigned surprised, “i didn’t notice!”
“i’m sorry!” you cried, “but my dad wouldn’t stop bothering me about a date and then it all snowballed.” the pitch in your voice and pout in your lips made jj frown for a moment before focusing.
“i didn’t agree to playing house , princess,” jj reminded you , and your stomach dropped.
you pulled into the driveway , parking the car before shifting to look at him. “are you mad at me? you’re still gonna come to midsummers , right?” you needed him to say yes.
jj thought about it , not giving you any idea if he was backing out now or not. “five— no , six hangouts , and you have to come to a kegger,” he decided , nodding to himself. he felt like it was fair enough. if he would have to prance around figure eight as your arm candy for the next two weeks , you would have to start experiencing some of the cut. it was only right. a true balance he thought.
“but i don’t—“
“ah , ah ah!” he interrupted you , pressing a finger to your lips, “you’re not really in a position to negotiate , princess. i’m callin’ the shots now. if you want me to be your fake boyfriend for two weeks , i want you to start tagging along with the pogues. if not , you can just forget this whole thing.”
you stared at jj still surprised he touched your mouth. “i—“ you sighed , sitting back against your seat, “fine , but i’m not drinking or smoking or nothing.” you crossed your arms over your chest , making it clear you weren’t about to be pushed around on this anymore.
and he didn’t know why , but jj grinned. he knew this would all probably fall apart and cause a few problems— it was just what usually happened when he was involved in schemes , but he was excited. it would give him something to do for the next few weeks.
“pleasure doin’ business with ya , angel,” he smirked , climbing out of your car. he bent over , leaning down to the window. “now don’t just go around tellin’ everyone i’m taking your virginity or nothin’ either. i’ll play boyfriend , but i won’t have everyone thinking i’m corrupting father y/l/n’s precious daughter.”
your face crinkled up at jj’s words before you rolled up the window he was in. “excuse me?” you gasped , getting out of the car and rushing around to his side before smacking at him.
he laughed , blocking himself from the rapid but weak hits from your little purse. “i’m kidding!” he cackled , knowing it was a risky joke , but he had taken far greater risks with less rewards than pushing your buttons.
“you are so dirty , jj!” you huffed , getting one last thwack in at him, “maybe i’ll find a different date.”
“good luck with that,” jj breathed out , taking a step back in case you swung the bag at him again, “no one will put up with that little attitude of yours.”
“i do not have an attitude!” you argued back , flicking a few hairs out of your face, “you just make nasty comments.”
“jj , come on. we’re leaving!” he mimicked you , using his girl voice and waving his hands around, “that don’t sound familiar?” he questioned , hands on his hips after his performance.
you rolled your eyes , seeing that it probably wasn’t too far off. you weren’t blind to the fact that you were a little stuck up. it was never nasty or hateful , but you demanded a certain level of perfection from nearly everything in your life. “whatever , i don’t sound like that,” you finally spoke up , avoiding jj’s gaze, “thank you for showing up today.”
“you’re welcome , princess,” he smiled back , glad you were finally taking a joke, “i’ll text you whenever we’re gonna hangout,” he added with a thumbs up sent your way before hopping back into the twinkie. you watched him drive off before slipping back into your house.
jj couldn’t help but beat his thumb on the steering wheel to the radio’s tune , chuckling a little as he drove through the stop sign you were just screaming at. he’d missed so much of your life , that he hadn’t really gotten a good idea of who you were now. you were still girly and spoiled , but you were funnier than before— a natural humor that took control of your words and behaviors every now and then.
but then jj remembered why you were no longer friends , and his demeanor shifted , pissed off at himself for even saying yes yesterday to begin with. he knew this wouldn’t end well. john b said that last night after jj went to him about the situation too.
it was a disaster just waiting to happen.
hell , you were probably only doing this whole act to piss off your dad while still giving him what he wanted. the idea alone keyed jj up , feeling used now when he hadn’t thought to be before.
“yo , john!” he shouted , stomping into the house.
the brunette popped out from the living room , hardly moving from his position earlier when jj had left. “yes?” john b replied carefully , watching as jj kicked his boots off , clearly frustrated by something. he assumed it had to do with you , but had no idea what you could’ve done in two hours.
jj moved through the house , heading up to his room , hearing his friend follow him up. “you really think i’m gonna fall for that shit like i did last time?” he finally asked after shutting the door. he didn’t need any extra ears hearing his conversation.
john b furrowed his brows. what had you done to him? in two hours? “i don’t know , man. what happened today?” he joined his blonde friend on the bed , getting comfortable.
“so not only do i have to go to this fucking kook festival , right?” jj began , hearing john b’s quiet ‘you agreed to that’ but continuing to rant, “now i have to pretend to be her boyfriend! because she fuckin’ told her parents ‘bout dating me!”
“she what?” john b cracked up , not able to hold back his laughter just to spare jj some dignity, “why the hell would she do that? doesn’t her dad hate you or something?”
“yeah!” jj scoffed , silently thanking his friend for understanding.
“okay , but her mom loves you,” john b added , deciding he’d play devil’s advocate.
“yeah,” jj nodded , seeing the point, “but we haven’t spoken in years , and now she’s all like ‘be my fake boyfriend’ and ‘go to the prom with me’ and shit!” parroting your voice like he had done in your driveway.
it wasn’t the time , but john b kept chuckling at his friend. “man , i think you’re reading too deep into it. she needed a favor. you’re helping her out. that’s all,” he reasoned , sitting up in the bed now, “i know i told you to be wary , but i didn’t mean get paranoid. don’t get your panties in a twist because you have problems and she doesn’t.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” jj questioned , not expecting john b to turn on him. sarah or kie maybe. cleo and pope definitely , but not him.
john b sighed , rolling his eyes at how oblivious his friend was. “you’ve got residual shit coming up right now pretending to be some kook’s boyfriend , dude. you’re gonna have to handle that shit before you take it out on y/n. she seems nice enough to not fuck you over like camille,” he calmly explained , standing to leave, “besides it’s all fake anyway.” the boy simply patted jj’s shoulder before exiting the room , leaving jj to process his words alone with the name he tried his best to forget swirling in his mind on a loop.
meanwhile , back at your house , your sister had brought her friend over upon hearing certain details about your life she wanted to ask you about. you didn’t even make it up the stairs to your room before bella and her friend , olivia , were harassing you.
“why didn’t you tell me your boyfriend is jj? why didn’t you tell me you have a boyfriend?” bella shrieked in your ear , barging into your room after you. you sighed , tossing your purse onto your vanity before turning to face her.
“i didn’t tell you because it’s not your business,” you explained softly, “it’s not a big deal. i didn’t even want to tell mom and dad,” you admitted.
“wait— why not?” olivia wondered , sitting down on your bed with you and your sister.
“well , jj isn’t exactly dad’s favorite person,” you began , getting comfortable. you didn’t mind the intrusion from the younger girls. you actually enjoyed their company , so you had no problem telling them all about your errand with jj.
“but he’s sooo cute!” olivia whined , annoyed that you were so adamant about not actually liking him like that after you told them about the whole ruse.
“and he was always really nice to me,” bella added to their case. they were currently trying to convince you to really date him , even after telling them he never liked you like that.
you laughed at their interest but shook your head. “no , i don’t think i’ll ever actually date jj maybank,” you whispered , letting the words sink in. this was all fake. it was a favor. nothing more. you had to keep remembering that , or everything would fall apart , and you’d be stuck in high school , craving his attention all over again.
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𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄
Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader
Series summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.
Tw: drunk jason
Series masterlist
That evening, after Noah’s flight, your phone buzzed with a message from him. His words weren’t as distant as you’d expected, and you found yourself exhaling a quiet breath of relief.
Noah♡: We’ve landed! Everything’s good here so far.
You: Glad to hear. How’s the weather?
Noah♡: It’s a bit colder, but no big deal. I’ll survive.
Noah♡: How’s Luna doing?
You: She’s great.
You: We’re having fun. No worries here.
Noah♡: That’s good to hear
Noah♡:Hope she’s not getting into too much trouble
You: She’s been perfect. Just finished watching cartoons.
Noah♡: Nice!
Noah♡: Well, I guess I’ll let you go
Noah♡: Catch you later
Noah♡: Bye
There was no "I love you" at the end of his message, something that would’ve been so automatic just days ago. But somehow, it didn’t feel like a cold goodbye. It felt like he needed a bit more space, and maybe you did, too. You held the phone in your hands for a moment longer, letting that thought settle.
You: bye! Have a good show.
You sent the last text.
The rest of the evening passed as smoothly as expected. Luna’s energy and creative stories kept you both occupied, and you found yourself laughing more than you had in a while. She told you a wild story about how Mr. Flop had to fight off Broccoli Man, who had been stealing all the vegetables in his garden, trying to turn them into broccoli soldiers to take over the world.
The entire thing was ridiculous, and you couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm.
"Mr. Flop is really strong, though, right?" Luna asked as she leaned closer to you, "Like daddy!"
"Of course, he’s a superhero." you replied with a grin, "Mr. Flop, not Noah."
Luna nodded seriously. "He’s going to save the universe from Broccoli Man! And then everyone will be able to eat all the strawberries and carrots they want!"
You laughed softly, gently tapping her nose. "I think you’re right. That’s a pretty good plan."
Luna beamed and threw herself back onto the pillows, giggling. "And then he can fly to the moon!"
"Why not?" you said, settling next to her. "He’s Mr. Flop. He can do anything."
Luna snuggled into the blankets on the couch, her eyes fluttering as she fought to stay awake. "And he’ll get all the carrots in the world." she mumbled.
"I think it's time to go to sleep for someone."
"Mh. Who? Not me."
"Actually I think it's you." You laughed as you picked her up and brought her to her bedroom.
Luna, however, didn't give up right away and insisted until it was your turn to create a story. You came up with a tale about a family made up of a big but kind bear (inspired by Noah), his daughter, a rabbit (obviously Luna), and a cat who was, of course, you.
It was so silly and Luna giggled the whole time, until her eyes started to close.
You softly brushed a lock of hair out of her face. "Sweet dreams, Luna," you whispered.
"Mhm," she hummed, already drifting into sleep, "Goodnight."
After Luna fell asleep, you quietly slipped out of her room. You took a moment to pause outside her door, listening to the soft sound of her breathing before making your way into Noah’s bedroom. The bed was neatly made, but as soon as you climbed under the covers, the familiar scent of Noah’s pillow surrounded you. It smelled like him—faintly of cologne, warmth, and something distinctly him.
For a brief moment, you let yourself linger in the comfort of it, breathing deeply as you settled into his space.
You lay there, your mind racing. Thoughts of Noah and the tension between you both circled in your mind. But as you tried to clear your head, you focused on the rhythm of your breathing and the warmth of the bed surrounding you.
Things were still up in the air, uncertain, but for now, you hoped everything would work out. Maybe Noah just needed time to process everything, to clear his mind. You knew he loved you.
With that thought, you closed your eyes, letting sleep gently take over. You thought about the way he’d said goodbye, the way his hand lingered on your back before he left for the show, and the way he had smiled, though it felt a little strained.
You had a weird feeling in your stomach and conflicting thoughts in your head.
You wanted to believe that the time away, even if only two days, would help both of you figure things out.
Maybe things would be okay. Maybe this space would give him the time he needed to work through the mess of feelings he had. You just hoped that when he came back, things between you would be a bit different—better. That he would understand that Jason was part of your past.
You drifted off, letting the night surround you, hoping everything would fall into place. The silence in the room felt comforting, and you whispered to the empty space next to you, "Everything will be fine. We’ll make it work, Noah. I know we will."
You closed your eyes and fell into a deep sleep, the thought of Noah lingering in your dreams.
“This is his city, Jo,” Erika said to her friend, almost in awe, gesturing around with a wide sweep of her hand as the two walked through the city center. “Can you believe it? This is where Noah fucking Sebastian lives."
I mean, I can’t even process it! I’ve been a fan for so long, and now I’m actually here... in the city where he fucking lives.” She grinned, practically glowing with the thought of it. “I just hope we spot him while we’re here, like... just walking around or something. You know, like fate. He’s gotta be back in town in a couple of days, right? After that concert I was too slow to get the tickets for."
Jo, who had been listening with half an ear, couldn’t suppress a smirk. “Yeah, sure. You’re totally gonna run into him and play it cool, right?”
Erika shot her a playful glare. “What? What do you mean ‘play it cool’? Like, I’m supposed to act casual about it?”
Jo raised an eyebrow, leaning in slightly as if to mock Erika’s dramatic flair. “Well, yeah, I'm sure you would start screaming like you lost your mind.”
Erika’s eyes widened. “Pfft, honestly? I would totally scream. What if we’re just walking down the street, and he... like, just walks by us? Imagine if we catch him going to the grocery store or something. We’d just—”
“Freak out? Like a total sane person would do?” Jo teased.
“Uh, yeah. I’d probably lose my mind. You don’t even understand. Imagine me yelling out his name when I see him walking past us.”
Jo sighed, rolling her eyes dramatically. “You’re such a fangirl, Erika.”
“Guilty,” Erika admitted, smiling widely. But then her grin faltered for just a moment. “I mean, imagine though, if we actually do run into him. Like, what if... what if he doesn’t look like a god on earth in person? What if he’s all... unshowered or something? Would I love him less? Probably not, honestly."
Jo chuckled, but then her expression shifted slightly. “Wait. Isn’t he... isn’t he in a relationship right now?”
Erika’s face lit up as she leaned in to gossip. “Yeah, apparently. You’ve seen him holding hands with that girl in the pics I showed you, right? I mean, she’s cute, but... it’s Noah fucking Sebastian we’re talking about here. Everyone thought he was gonna stay single forever after the big break up with his ex. But nope, turns out he’s taken now. But you know what the fans are saying, right?”
Jo rolled her eyes again, though this time there was a hint of genuine curiosity in her tone. “What, are the fans still convinced they’re gonna break up? I swear, Twitter is just full of delusional people.”
Erika’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Hey, I’m on Twitter too, you know.”
Jo smirked. “I know.”
“So you know the vibe,” Erika said with a shrug, her grin returning. “I’m just saying, Twitter’s pretty sure they won’t last. I mean, they’re like, ‘Noah’s gonna wake up and realize he can’t be tied down, blah blah.’ You know the drill.”
Jo snorted, crossing her arms. “Yeah, because Twitter has such a good track record when it comes to relationships.”
“Hey, sometimes they’re right,” Erika said. “There’s always some truth to the madness.”
Jo shook her head exasperation, but there was a bit of amusement in her eyes. “Alright, fine. Whatever. Let’s just hope you don’t have to chase him down the street screaming.”
“Who says I wouldn’t?” Erika winked, and Jo just laughed.
They continued walking for a while, Erika practically floating on her own excitement. “I know he’s not in town right now, though,” she repeated, her voice suddenly quieter. “But hopefully, he’ll be back soon, and I’ll get the chance to run into him. I mean, we’re here for a whole week. Who knows? Maybe we’ll be lucky.”
Jo gave her a teasing look. “So you’re gonna hang around for a week, hoping he’ll just pop up out of nowhere?”
“Well, yeah. What’s the worst that could happen?” Erika grinned, her optimism unchanged. “If fate wants us to meet, it’ll happen. And if not, well, at least I can say I was in his city.”
Jo rolled her eyes playfully. “You're hopeless.”
Erika shrugged with a smile. “What can I say? It’s Noah fucking Sebastian. A girl can dream.”
"Maybe you'll meet his girlfriend."
"God, don't make me think about that."
As they continued walking through the city streets, Erika couldn’t help but imagine all the ways she might accidentally run into Noah. Maybe it wouldn’t be today, but she’d hold onto the hope that someday, somehow, she’d get that moment of fate.
And, if that moment did come, she’d make sure she was ready to scream.
The morning sunlight poured in through the windows, casting soft beams across Noah's living room, where you and Luna were sitting on the carpet. The air was warm, the peaceful hum of the quiet house making it feel like an ordinary, calm morning.
Luna, her dark hair tied back into a little ponytail, was sitting cross-legged beside you. Her tiny hands were busy, gathering the colorful perlite beads, placing them neatly in front of you both. She handed you a strand of elastic thread, her eyes wide with concentration as she carefully picked up the beads one by one.
"Here, these are for your bracelet." she said softly as she passed you a little pile of pink beads.
"Thanks, Lu," you replied, taking the beads from her hand and threading them onto the string, forming a delicate bracelet. Luna had decided you two should make matching ones, with one for you and one for her. But when she had asked, if you could also make one for Noah when he came home, you had agreed with a warm smile. The thought of the three of you having a tiny shared piece of something meant so much to you, more than you could explain.
She glanced up at you, her brown eyes focused and intent on your every movement as you worked on the bracelet.
"I like this one," Luna said quietly, as she looked at you working on it. "Very pretty."
"You can keep it for you, if you want," you replied, your voice soft as you gave her a reassuring smile.
"No, no. It's for you. You need a pretty bracelet too."
"Alright." You chuckled.
You continued working side by side in peace, you made some comments about how hard it actually was and Luna laughed every time.
She passed you the beads to make Noah's bracelet too, some were white and some pink. You laughed at the idea of Noah wearing it.
After a while, you finished with the last few beads of Noah's bracelet, tying the ends of the threads and holding it up. "See? We all have matching ones. He's gonna love it."
"I love them too! They are all so cute!"
Luna’s eyes sparkled as she reached out to take her bracelet from you. You carefully tied it around her little wrist, making sure it was just the right size. She looked down at it with a sense of satisfaction, before lifting her arm up to show it off.
"Y/N," she said softly, her voice filled with warmth. "Thank you for making these with me."
You smiled at her words, your heart melting just a little at the simplicity of it all. "It was fun, Luna. I’m happy we made them together."
Then, you put your own bracelet on the left Noah's one on the coffee table.
The two of you sat back for a moment, admiring your handiwork. The quiet was comfortable, peaceful. It wasn’t about grand gestures or big moments. It was just the two of you, making something simple, yet meaningful, that made you feel even more part of the family.
During the early afternoon, the air was just enough chill to feel refreshing but not too cold to keep you indoors. Luna was beside you, skipping along the sidewalk as you made your way to the café. She had been asking for the cookies there all morning, and you’d promised her you’d get some.
"Luna, don’t run off too far!" you called as she darted ahead, her tiny legs moving with a quickness that matched her energy.
"I'm just going to see if I can spot the cookies through the window!" she called back over her shoulder, already well ahead of you.
You arrived at the café, the familiar jingle of the door opening greeting you as you stepped inside, already feeling the warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked pastries wrapped around you. Luna headed straight for the display case, eyeing the rows of cookies.
"Well, look who finally decided to show up," Grace’s voice came from behind the counter, dripping with sarcasm. She didn’t even glance up from her phone. "I thought you weren’t coming in today."
You sighed inwardly, already knowing where this was going. "Hey, I told you I was gonna stay with Luna for a couple of days. But she wanted the cookies."
Grace scoffed, still not bothering to look at you. "Yeah yeah."
Luna, blissfully unaware of Grace’s sharp tone, pointed to the cookies on the counter, eager to get her hands on the treats. Grace grumbled under her breath as she grabbed a jar of cookies, setting them down on a plate.
"Here. Your usual."
"Thanks, Grace," you replied, a little too sweetly, grabbing the cookies from the counter and leading Luna to a table by the window. She plopped down happily, already tearing into one of her cookies.
After a few moments, Grace walked over to your table, her eyes narrowing as she folded her arms across her chest. "So, how’s the rockstar boyfriend of yours?" she asked.
You raised an eyebrow, already preparing for the usual jabs. "He’s fine."
Grace leaned in a little closer, her lips curling into a sly smile. "Really? That’s it? Just fine?" She paused, her tone laced with amusement.
You clenched your jaw but tried to keep your cool. "Yeah, he’s fine. He texted me a couple of times, he seemed chill. Maybe the distance helped calming the waters. He’ll be home tomorrow morning."
Grace chuckled, scanning your face as though she were trying to pick out any crack in your calm exterior. "Well, alright. But- oh. Look who's there!"
You turned around to the sound of a familiar voice calling your name. Standing in the doorway of the café, was Jason. He gave you a slight no and a little smile, but you could almost see the tension in his posture. However, you noticed the way his eyes softened when they met yours.
"Hey," he called, walking toward you.
"Jason." you said.
It's not the right moment, it will never be the right one. You wanted to say. But the words died in your throat.
"I need to talk to you," he said, his voice low but urgent.
"Jason-"
"Please."
You hesitated for a moment, then you stepped away from the table, walking a few paces toward Jason, keeping a cautious distance between you both. You casted a quick glance over your shoulder at Grace, who was chatting with Luna at the table.
"Alright," you said. You didn’t know what this conversation would bring.
You could hear Grace talking to Luna in the background, her voice casual but with an odd warmth to it.
"...Your eyes are so big and pretty, you know that?" Grace’s voice drifted over to you, and you found yourself smiling a bit. You couldn't deny that Grace had her sharp moments, but you always knew there was more to her—more than just the snarky attitude and sarcasm. You never really understood what had made her so cold, but you knew she wasn't actually a bad person. She just had a way of hiding it.
Focusing back on Jason, you tried to push aside the strange feeling that had crept into your chest. "What’s up?" you asked, doing your best to keep your voice steady.
Jason took a breath before speaking, his gaze locking with yours, blue eyes staring right into your soul. "I—" He paused, as if weighing his words carefully. "I can’t stop thinking about you. Since I got back into town, it's like I never left. And I know things ended, but I need to tell you the truth."
Your stomach twisted, but you forced a calm smile. So Noah was right. "Jason, I'm happy with Noah," you said, your voice firm but gentle. "He's—he's good to me, and things are really good right now. I’ve moved on."
A little part of the sentence was a lie, but he didn't need to know that. Things weren't "really good" but they were going to be.
Jason's eyes dropped for a moment, and when they met yours again, they were filled with something raw. "I get it. You’re happy. But I’ve changed. I’m not the same person I was when we... when we ended things. It hurts, seeing you with someone else, but I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I still care about you, Y/N."
The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard, and for a moment, you felt that familiar pull—the one that had once made you believe you could fix things between you two. You swallowed hard, shaking your head softly. "I’m happy, Jason. I’m really happy with Noah. I... I think you need to move on, too."
Jason stared at you, his lips pressing into a thin line. "It’s hard," he muttered. "But I get it. I just wanted you to know."
You gave him a small nod, feeling the weight of his words settle in your chest. But it didn’t change anything. "I’m glad to hear you’ve changed, Jason. But this is my life now."
With that, you turned on your heel, walking back to the table. You could feel Jason's gaze still on your back as you went, and when you reached Grace and Luna, you tried to put on a brave face. Grace raised an eyebrow when she saw the look on your face, but Luna didn't notice anything amiss, still happily munching on her cookie.
Jason didn’t say anything else. He left without another word, disappearing into the street, and the door of the tattoo shop slammed shut behind him.
Grace gave you a questioning look, but didn’t pry. Instead, she shrugged casually. "Everything alright?"
You took a breath, trying to shake off the weird tension that had filled the air. "Yeah, it’s fine. Let’s just eat."
Jason slammed the door of the tattoo shop behind him, the quiet hum of the neon sign above flickering as the shop fell into a tense, suffocating silence. He walked toward the counter, his fists clenched at his sides, his jaw grinding with frustration. Rick, still sitting where Jason left him before going to the cafè, glanced up at the noise, raising an eyebrow at the storm brewing inside his friend.
"Jesus, man. It didn't work out?" Rick asked, his tone low but laced with curiosity.
Jason didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he slammed his fist down on the counter, the wood groaning under the force of the impact. Rick flinched, his eyes widening, but he didn’t move. He’d seen Jason angry before, but tonight was different. This wasn’t the usual frustration; this was something deeper, more explosive.
After a moment of silence Rick tried again, playing with a pin on his leather jacked with his hands.
"She fucking shut me down, Rick," Jason growled, his voice shaking with rage. "I had it all planned out! I was going to tell her those bullshits, show her that I’m not the same guy I was when we broke up. I thought, maybe, if I played it right, she'd—"
Jason cut himself off with a bitter laugh, raking a hand through his short light brown hair. He kicked a chair out of his way and began pacing back and forth across the floor, his eyes wild with frustration. Rick just leaned against the counter, arms crossed, watching his friend unravel.
"But she didn’t bite," Jason muttered darkly. "She just fucking shut me down, like it was nothing! No hesitation. No second thoughts. Just—'I’m happy with Noah.' Like I didn’t even matter!"
Rick let the silence hang in the air for a moment before he spoke again. His voice was steady, as if trying to cut through the storm of Jason’s anger. "So, what do you wanna do now? You can’t just sit around pissed off about it. She made her choice, man."
Jason’s gaze snapped toward Rick, eyes flashing with a mix of disbelief and fury. He slammed his fist into the counter again, this time harder, the sound of wood cracking under the pressure ringing out in the big space. "What the fuck do you think I’m supposed to do, huh? Let it go? Just walk away and pretend this didn't happen? I can't lose! Jason Clarke can never lose! You hear me? He cannot!" He tapped his index to his temple a few times while shouting like he was trying to spat out everything that was going on his mind at the moment.
"You could just try to move on too," Rick said with a shrug. "I mean, she told you. She’s happy with Noah. Maybe it’s time to face facts."
Jason’s eyes narrowed. "No," he spat, stepping closer to Rick, his voice a low growl now. "I’m not just gonna let it go. I want her. I fucking need her" He paused, his fists flexing at his sides. "I want her to want me again."
Rick’s expression softened for a moment, but he didn’t say anything. Jason’s eyes darted to the closed sign hanging in the window and the empty tattoo chairs around them. The weight of the silence pressed down on him, but then something shifted in his eyes—a flicker of realization.
He stood still for a moment, staring at Rick, his mind working at a pace that seemed almost dangerous. The anger faded, replaced by a sly, almost mischievous glint in his eyes.
"What are you thinking?" Rick asked cautiously, already suspecting what was coming. It was going to involve him too, he was sure.
"Rick, my brother" he said, his voice dropping to a more dangerous tone, "you free tonight?"
It was late, well past midnight, when you finally decided to lie down. The house was quiet, save for the occasional creak of the wooden floors beneath the weight of the night. You had just finished watching My Neighbor Totoro with Luna, who, despite her attempts to fight sleep, was already tucked into bed, clutching Mr. Flop tightly, in her soft pink pajamas.
She had asked if her dad would be home tomorrow, to which you had softly replied, "When you wake up, you dad will already be here."
That was enough to comfort her, and now, the house was dark and quiet.
You slid under the covers, trying to ignore the unease still lingering from the earlier conversation with Jason. But you tried not to think about him. Just relax, Y/N. You’re with Noah now.
But then came the sound.
At first, you thought it was just the wind—the soft, eerie whisper of the trees outside—but then, you heard it again. A light scrape, then a thud.
"Fuck." Someone muttered.
You hesitated for a moment, listening. It was unmistakable now.
Someone was out there.
Your heart skipped a beat as you slowly got out of bed, your bare feet cold against the hardwood floor. You tiptoed to the window, the one that overlooked the porch. You peered through the curtains, and for a split second, you thought you were imagining it, but there he was.
Jason.
He was standing on your porch, swaying slightly, his body unsteady as he gripped the railing for support. The faint glow of the porch light caught the bottle in his hand. He was drunk.
Drunk? He looked completely wasted.
Your heart raced. Why was he there? It was well past one in the morning.
You rushed to the door, flung it open without thinking, and before you could say a word, Jason stumbled over, nearly knocking into you.
"Y/N," he slurred, his eyes blurry, "I love you. I... I love you."
You froze, taken aback by his words. The heat of his body, the stench of alcohol, and the recklessness of his presence hit you all at once, you put a hand on his chest to slightly push him away and to avoid a possible fall. "What the hell are you doing here?" you spat. "It’s fucking late and you are drunk. Go home."
Jason shook his head, his eyes glassy. He reached for you, his voice pleading, "My friend... he played a joke on me. Left me out here. I don’t know where to go. Please... let me in."
You felt your stomach drop as you looked him over. He was shivering in a light jacket, his eyes half-lidded as he tried to steady himself. The chill of the night air was sharp and biting, and he looked like he might collapse any second.
"Jason I- God. I fucking hate you."
"Mh... please." He mumbled.
You didn’t know what to do. Every fiber of your being told you to shut the door, to send him away. This isn’t your problem. But your conscience—your heart—had other plans.
You took the bottle from his hand and put it on the ground, then stepped aside, grabbing him by his jacket as he swayed again, and helped him inside, closing the door behind you with a click.
"God, Jason," you muttered, glaring at him as you took in his disheveled state. "What the hell were you thinking? You’re drunk off your ass, and it’s freezing outside. How do you even fucking know where Noah lives?"
Jason didn’t respond right away. Instead, he collapsed onto the couch with a defeated sigh, his eyes half-lidded. "You’re beautiful," he muttered, his voice soft. "Even without makeup... in your pajamas."
You rolled your eyes. "This is so messed up. This is so fucking messed up. You can’t just show up here like this. Do you have someone to call?"
"Someone to... I don't have anyone."
"Be serious."
"I swear. My only friend is the one who left me in the middle of the street."
"Jesus Christ. Jason you... fuck you, Jason. For real. Noah’s going to be back in the morning. You need to leave before then. Got it?"
Jason nodded, but you could see the drunken fog in his eyes, clouding any attempt at sincerity. "I’ll leave," he slurred. "I promise. Before Noah gets here... I’ll go."
But you couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He shouldn’t be here. But you didn't even know where he lived and couldn't even drive him there.
"You should have never come," you hissed, rubbing your temples in frustration. "Why would you think this is okay? It's Noah's house! His daughter is sleeping in her bedroom right now!"
Jason blinked slowly, a smile tugging at his lips despite his condition. "You didn’t leave me out there," he muttered, as if that was some great revelation. "That’s what I always liked about you. You’ve got a good heart."
Before you could respond, Jason’s words trailed off, his body slumping further against the couch. His breathing deepened, and within moments, the rhythmic sound of snoring filled the room.
You stood there for a moment, watching him, trying to process what had just happened. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Jason, drunk, and seeking comfort from you, was far from what you had imagined.
That was crazy. You didn't want him there. He shouldn’t have been there.
But despite everything, you couldn’t bring yourself to just leave him outside. He was still human, still someone you had cared for, once. And that damn heart of yours... Maybe I’m too soft, you thought bitterly. Maybe I’m too kind.
You sat down on the couch next to him, unable to ignore the wave of conflicting emotions that washed over you. You didn’t want him here, didn’t want to help him. But the truth was, you couldn’t leave him there, not when he was like this.
It was wrong. So wrong. He was in Noah's house.
So so fucking wrong.
But what else could you do?
As you sat in the dim light of the living room, your gaze locked on Jason’s peaceful face.
Almost like the old times.
This was a mistake.
You didn’t know how to fix this. You didn’t know if it could be fixed.
And as the hours stretched on, you were left alone with your thoughts, the sound of Jason's snoring filling the empty spaces between your anxieties as you were still sitting on the couch, processing everything.
Tomorrow would come, Jason would leave and Noah would be back, and everything would change again.
But for tonight, Jason was here.
And there was nothing you could do about it.
Erika and Jo stumbled down the sidewalk, their laughter echoing through the quiet streets. The night had been a blast, full of music, drinks, and dancing, and they were finally going to the apartment they rented for their vacation.
"Seriously, though," Erika laughed, wiping a tear from her eye, "did you see that guy trying to dance? I swear, I thought his legs were gonna give out."
Jo chuckled, adjusting her jacket against the cool evening air. "Oh my god, I thought the same thing. He looked like he was having some kind of seizure. But you have to admit, he was really trying. Respect for that."
"Yeah, yeah, he was trying," Erika laughed. "Trying to give us secondhand embarrassment. But it was kind of adorable."
They walked in silence for a few moments, the streetlights casting soft halos on the sidewalk, until Erika suddenly froze in her tracks. Her eyes narrowed, her grin faltering as she stared down the street.
Jo, still walking, bumped into her and almost knocked her over. "Erika? What’s up?"
Erika didn’t answer immediately, still focused on something a little further up the road. She pointed towards a house, a slight tension in her voice now. "Wait... Jo. Look over there. Is that...?"
Jo squinted in the direction Erika was gesturing to, where a porch light illuminated a figure standing outside a front door, speaking to someone.
"No way," Erika muttered, her breath catching in her throat. "That’s—"
"What? Who?" Jo asked, frowning. "That’s just a girl... opening her door at... what time is it?"
Erika’s eyes were wide with disbelief, but there was no mistaking the recognition in her voice. "No, Jo. That can’t be... That’s her. That’s Noah’s girlfriend."
Jo stared at her in confusion. "What? Are you serious right now?"
Erika’s heart was pounding in her chest. She pulled out her phone, her fingers shaking slightly as she zoomed in on the scene. The girl was talking animatedly to the guy standing in front of her—no, not just any guy—this guy was tall, attractive, with messy hair, and he seemed way too close to the girl on her porch. But it was you Erika was focused on.
"Look!" Erika hissed, thrusting the phone towards Jo. "Look at her! It’s totally fucking her. Look at her hair. Oh my god. I know it’s her."
Jo blinked and took the phone, squinting at the picture. "I don’t know, Erika. Are you sure? She looks a little different than in the photos... and it’s kind of dark, so—"
"I’m telling you, Jo!" Erika almost whispered, her voice tight with excitement. "It’s her! I’ve seen her in those pictures online a million times. It’s definitely her."
Jo raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but... what about the guy? That doesn’t look like Noah."
Erika’s gaze hardened. "I don’t know who he is, but it sure as hell isn’t Noah."
Jo crossed her arms, uncertainty creeping in. "Erika, don’t you think you’re jumping to conclusions a little? It’s the middle of the night. You can’t just—"
"Shh!" Erika cut her off, practically hissing as she lowered her voice. "I’m not missing this. I need proof."
Before Jo could protest, Erika started recording the scene on her phone. The porch light illuminated the two figures clearly now, and Erika focused the lens. You were still talking to the guy, though Erika couldn’t hear the words from this distance, but the exchange looked... intimate. Too intimate. He was close to you and at some point, your hand was on his chest.
"What the hell, Erika?" Jo whispered, her voice filled with disbelief and a hint of concern. "You really shouldn’t be recording this. It’s none of our business."
"Are you kidding me?" Erika scoffed, not taking her eyes off the screen. "This is totally our business. People need to know about this. You’re just jealous because I’m about to break the internet."
Jo shook her head in disbelief. "You're insane. You know this could cause trouble, right?"
Erika shot her a look, one part playful and one part defiant. "Trouble? Jo, come on. People love drama. Imagine the reactions on Twitter when I post this. It's going to blow up. You know they’ll go wild over this. Everyone is obsessed with Noah's love life right now."
Jo rolled her eyes. "You’re unbelievable. Do whatever you want."
Erika laughed, her attention still fixed on the screen. "You’ll thank me when this goes viral. Now get ready for some real fangirl action."
As she kept recording, Erika couldn’t help but smile to herself, despite the nagging feeling in her gut. She didn’t know why, but something about this whole scene felt... off. But at the same time, she couldn’t stop herself from capturing it. After all, it wasn’t every day that you got this close to the drama of Noah fucking Sebastian’s personal life.
And if there was one thing she knew for sure, it was that this was a moment she couldn’t afford to miss.
Twitter was gonna love it.
Tags: @anything-more-than-human @ladyveronikawrites @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingangelwisp @xmads-omensx @iwasntstable @thisbicc @pathion @flowery-mess @into-the-grey @lacy1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @stardustsirenmelody @thewrstinme
TBAF Tags: @klutzy-kay24 @mrscevans @concreteangel92 @iconic-taurus @niicoleleigh @cheyyyyr @supersquirrel1996 @respectfulrebel @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @clickmedead @missduffsblog @whenyouwannafindlove @chey-h @kenjipepsi1
#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian#bad omens#bad omens fanfiction#noah sebastian x y/n#to build a family#tbaf
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hello author!
I’m a totally different, definitely not the anon who sent the previous post!
So…out of curiosity…if fd reader was filling in for robin ( I assume this is pre- red robin-or would reader act as a double for red as well?)
and they got sucked into another universe…
what kind of shenanigans would occur?
also while I am definitely not the previous anon, I’d like to mention that the fd series has a new film coming out next year it’s a little different!
A/n: sorry kinda messy because I got my wisdom teeth removed
Taglist: @dragondevinity, @lonely-star2044, @sheep-from-rad, @ilxandra, @thethingwiththefeathers, @star-wars-lycanwing-bat, @sackofsadstuff, @zonked-times, @paastaboi, @venfia, @fantasy-angelo, @linaisadream
---
Getting dropped through a portal and landing in the middle of a fight isn’t great. Fortunately, you're dressed for the occasion since you’re filling in as Robin. Unfortunately, your comms are dead. Fully dead. Dead enough that there isn't even a trace of static to be heard.
It could have been worse, you think as you help Nightwing (alternate universe? Probably alternate universe Nightwing, he doesn't seem to recognize you) clear out a group of goons. At least you're in Gotham and at least you didn't land directly in the path of the batmobile while someone was driving it or something.
Nightwing is wary of you and your supposed help, at least, until you get a moment a tell him the code for alternate universe situations because of course, there’s a code for everything.
(Code for time travel, code for alternate universes, code specifically for family, etc, etc. You leave all those codes up to Batman to decide.)
He doesn’t totally relax, obviously, but he’s willing to take down all the goons before focusing on you.
You're clearly bat-trained, have bat-gear and would look like a carbon copy of Robin if Tim was currently Robin and not Damian. It isn't difficult to believe you are a dimension traveller (you aren't the first and likely won't be the last either), especially with the obvious portal you hopped out of.
And well, things should be okay if you’ve got the family code tagged along with the standard code, right?
Either way, you and Nightwing end up going to the batcave. There’s some back and forth banter, you ask about who’s around and find out that it’s basically everyone you remember from the comics in their own role. Their universe is a bit ahead of yours it seems.
“D’s not allowed to be Robin until he’s more than 4 apples tall,” you tell Nightwing. By 4 apples tall, you mean 4 apples on the height chart you bought to mark Damian’s growth.
"4 apples tall," he mouths, delighted.
Dick had reacted the same way when you put the chart up. Damian had been livid.
The batcave is every bit as dark and cave-y as you remember it to be. Batman is there. So is Red Robin. And Spoiler. It's still early in the night so everyone else is probably still doing patrol.
Being interrogated (kind of) is interesting. It would be more effective if you hadn't seen similar songs and dances hundreds of times. Plus, Batman isn't being too harsh about it. It might be because you're Robin, because you're family.
The edges of your domino mask are peeling off. It always feels like you never put enough glue.
Well, you might as well reveal yourself. With the retrieval of the glue solvent, removal of the mask and a quick run of your hand through your hair, you could consider yourself off duty.
“Are you a girl???”
“Congrats on your top surgery.”
“Congrats on your bottom surgery.”
Hilarious. You laugh softly and ask, “Do you guys think I’m Tim?”
Something discordant ripples through everyone. You thought it was obvious you weren't Tim but well... You smile and hide your teeth.
"I'm (Y/n) Drake, nice to meet you."
You’re pretty sure that your universe will figure some way to get you back so you tell Batman that if you haven’t disappeared by the time 48 hours have passed, he should probably contact a magic user to get you back.
No one is going to bed apparently. It’s Sunday tomorrow. They’re not technically the family you know so you don’t say anything about pulling an all nighter.
There are some fascinating follow-up one-on-one conversations afterwards once they get past the "Tim's older sibling who doesn't exist".
Dick mentions it’s a bit odd to see you as Robin. You’re technically the oldest person to have ever been Robin as everyone grew out of it (died in it, got fired, etc) and got their own costume before they hit 18.
You point out it's not really your costume and that you only really fill in when you have to. He tells you you're still part of the legacy. You're still Robin. You... don't really know what to say to that.
When he asks you how you got involved, you shrug and say you just followed Tim. "He's my brother. What was I supposed to do? Leave him?"
Anyways, interesting conversations between two people who have been eldest daughter syndrome-d. Maybe things are better in your universe where you're there to ease the emotional load of the family but it shouldn't have been your responsibility. It shouldn't have been Dick's either.
You end up telling Jason that the Joker is dead in your universe. More specifically, that he "had gone missing a bit after Red Hood arrived in Gotham". You don't say exactly how it happened but he can probably infer that you had something to do with it.
The two of you probably bond a bit over your paper thin morals. After all, when you aren't playing at being Robin, you don't have to follow Bruce's moral code either.
Bruce is okay. The one here isn't horrendously terrible or anything but there were probably more bumps along the way. You straight up tell him to start seeing a therapist. His nest of birdies are his children first before they are his vigilante partners. He should make that clear before he makes another blunder, fails to apologize, and has to try to mend his relationships again.
He asks if you’re one of his children. You laugh until your ribs hurt.
Damian asks why you (and your Tim) are still Robin. You’re reasonably confused. Dick had informed him that your Damian is with the Waynes already yet has not been made Robin.
You aren’t exactly aware of how this Damian (or comic Damian for that matter) became Robin but you just tell him, “There’s no rush to pass on the mantle. Besides, we’re a couple years behind you guys.”
"You coddle him." "He's literally like, 9."
He'll figure it out someday once he gets past the being raising in an assassin cult thing. You ask what pets he has to derail him.
Things are easier with Cass, as they always have been. She takes one look at you and definitively declares "Family". You smile, ruffle her hair, the same as you would with your Cass, and she drags you away to talk to Steph.
Steph cracks a joke about your presence evening out the gender ratio in the household. She's also on the phone with Barbara so you say a quick hi before being swept into the next conversation.
You and Tim. Tim and you.
It’s been years since Jack and Janet Drake have died. Years upon years since Tim was a little boy waiting by the phone for his parents to call and tell him they’re coming home. He thinks some part of him still longs for them, despite it all.
And now, there is you. His sibling who never existed.
You remind him of his mother, of Janet. You’re as sharp as he remembers her being but you’re so terribly warm and patient and casually affectionate in ways he still isn't used to. Perhaps you're how Janet would've been like if she had loved him more.
You and Tim probably have the most to talk about out of everyone, especially about the early days from before he became Robin. Throughout it, he finds out just how much you've involved yourself in the other Tim's life. There's something sad in your expression when the two of you talk.
He hasn't needed someone to protect or raise him for a very long time but still, it must have been nice to have you, to have someone to trust and love him unconditionally.
For what it's worth, you tell him you're proud of him. Even if you don't exist in this universe, he's still your itty bitty tiny little brother.
Something bubbles in his chest. He thinks it might just be jealousy for the version of him that has your unconditional love. The version that has everything that you could give him.
Alfred brings down food for you to eat. Despite the fact that you don't belong, he insists on calling you "Master (Y/n)". Some things never change you suppose.
Everyone notes that it's very very strange to see you be so familiar with everyone when none of them know you. It's like they're all stumbling over a step in their life, fumbling in their interactions with you, uncertain about what to do.
Duke wanders into the Batcave in the morning and finds you at the batcomputer, still wearing your Robin costume. You get one look at him and go, "Ah they didn't tell you about me did they."
You give him a quick rundown ("I'm from an alternate universe, yeah I showed up last night, I'm Tim's older sibling, I'm only a placeholder Robin, no I don't really know you but I think I've seen you around in my universe before") before he leaves for day-patrol.
He's cool. You'll keep an eye out for him when you get back.
True to your expectation, less than a day after your arrival, a portal opens up beside you. Everyone's in the batcave and are able to see you off as Tim (your Tim) reaches out to bring you home.
You're wrapped up in hugs immediately upon return. So clingy, you think as you say, "I'm home."
Tim, who's buried by your side, mumbles, "Welcome home."
As for you filling in as Red Robin later on, it might be better to discuss it chronologically with Batman getting lost in the timestream and the no good very bad follow up conversation about who should wear the cowl that somehow ends up with you filling in as Nightwing.
#shenanigans and it's just mc accidentally giving therapy#answered#ask#anon#family dissonance au#dc#dcu#batfamily#batfam#platonic#dc x reader#dcu x reader#batfamily x reader#batfam x reader#batman#bruce wayne#tim drake#robin#red robin#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#writing#my writing#damian wayne#cassandra cain#black bat#stephanie brown#spoiler
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Mistletoe Series:🎄 Aaron Hotchner (3)
"Unexpected Holiday Tradition"
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader
Genre: fluff
Warnings: kissing, light teasing from the team
Words: 1.7k
Summary: Kisses under the mistletoe with a certain Unit Chief.
The BAU Christmas party was in full swing, and I had to admit Penelope had outdone herself. Lights twinkled from every surface, tables were crowded with snacks and desserts, and holiday music hummed in the background. It was festive, cheerful, and undeniably… over the top.
Still, I couldn’t help but smile as I leaned against a corner of the room, sipping cider and watching my colleagues try to outdo each other in holiday cheer. Emily and JJ were near the dessert table, laughing at something Spencer was animatedly explaining with his usual flurry of facts. Derek stood by the bar, exchanging good-natured jabs with Rossi, while Garcia flitted from group to group, practically glowing with holiday spirit.
And then there was Aaron Hotchner.
Hotch was standing a few feet away, dressed casually for once in a charcoal sweater and dark slacks. His serious expression didn’t entirely suit the festive surroundings, but then again, when did Hotch ever let himself relax? Still, I caught him watching the team with the faintest hint of a smile, his dark eyes softening as he watched his family—the family he’d built, protected, and held together through so much.
I didn’t realize I was staring until he glanced over at me, catching my gaze. His lips twitched upward in that almost-smile of his, and I felt my cheeks heat. Quickly, I turned my attention back to my drink, pretending to examine the sprig of mistletoe dangling from the ceiling nearby.
“Caught you,” a familiar voice teased.
I turned to see Emily, a knowing grin on her face. She nudged me playfully. “You’ve been staring at Hotch for at least five minutes.”
“I wasn’t staring,” I protested, though I knew it was futile.
“Oh, please,” Emily said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s painfully obvious. You’ve got a thing for him.”
“I do not!” I hissed, glancing around to make sure no one else had overheard.
Emily smirked, clearly enjoying my discomfort. “You’re not fooling anyone, Y/N. And by the way, he’s been staring at you too.”
“Emily—”
Before I could argue further, Spencer appeared, looking vaguely uncomfortable. “Hey, uh, do either of you know why Garcia’s carrying a ladder around the office?”
Emily and I both turned to look, and sure enough, Penelope was weaving her way through the crowd with a step ladder in tow, a determined gleam in her eye.
“She’s probably adding more mistletoe,” Emily said dryly. “She’s been on a mission to make this party as romantic as possible. If you’re not careful, Spence, she might trap you under one.”
Spencer frowned. “Statistically speaking, the chances of actually kissing under mistletoe are quite low. Though, if someone did follow through, it would likely lead to an increased spread of germs. Kissing transmits fewer germs than shaking hands, but it’s still not entirely risk-free—”
“Thanks for the insight, boy wonder,” Emily interrupted, patting him on the shoulder. “You’re a real charmer.”
Spencer looked vaguely insulted but didn’t argue as Emily sauntered off, leaving me alone with him.
“She’s right, you know,” he said after a moment.
“About what?” I asked.
“That Hotch has been staring at you,” Spencer said matter-of-factly.
I nearly choked on my cider. “Spencer!”
“What?” he asked, frowning. “I’m just stating an observation. And to be fair, you’ve been staring at him too. Statistically speaking, mutual attraction—”
“Okay, okay!” I said, cutting him off. “I get it.”
Spencer gave me a small, satisfied nod, then wandered off to the snack table, leaving me flustered and thoroughly annoyed with how obvious I apparently was.
---
As the night wore on, I tried to avoid making a fool of myself, though it was easier said than done with Penelope popping up every few minutes, determined to orchestrate a romantic mistletoe moment for someone—anyone.
“Y/N!” she called suddenly, appearing out of nowhere with her ladder and a look of pure mischief. “I need your help.”
“With what?” I asked warily.
“This,” she said, gesturing to a sprig of mistletoe she’d just hung in the middle of the room. “I’m trying to position it perfectly, and you’ve got an eye for detail. Come here.”
Before I could protest, she grabbed my arm and dragged me under the mistletoe.
“Pen—”
“Shh!” she said, grinning. “Stay right there.”
And then, as if on cue, Aaron Hotchner appeared.
“Garcia,” he said in that calm, authoritative tone of his, “what are you doing?”
She turned to him, her grin widening. “Just spreading some holiday cheer, boss.”
Hotch’s gaze shifted to me, and then to the mistletoe overhead. His expression didn’t change, but I saw the faintest flicker of surprise in his eyes.
“Is this necessary?” he asked Penelope, his tone mildly exasperated.
“Absolutely,” she said, crossing her arms. “Rules are rules, Hotch. You’re under the mistletoe, and so is Y/N. You know what that means.”
“Garcia…” Hotch began again, but she cut him off.
“No excuses!” she said, stepping back and gesturing dramatically. “This is your moment. Don’t waste it.”
I wanted to disappear. The room had gone quiet, all eyes on us, and I could feel my cheeks burning.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, avoiding Hotch’s gaze. “She’s impossible.”
Hotch sighed, but there was a softness to his expression as he turned back to me. “It’s not your fault,” he said quietly. Then, after a moment, he added, “Do you want me to?”
I blinked, startled by the question. “What?”
“Kiss you,” he clarified, his voice so low I almost didn’t hear him. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
My heart was racing, my breath hitching at the thought of Aaron Hotchner kissing me. I glanced up at him, searching his dark eyes for any hint of teasing or insincerity, but all I saw was warmth and… something else.
“I wouldn’t mind,” I said softly.
That was all the permission he needed. He stepped closer, his hand brushing mine as he leaned in. His lips were warm and soft against mine, and the kiss was gentle, tentative—at first. But when I didn’t pull away, his hand came to rest lightly on my waist, and the kiss deepened, stealing the breath from my lungs.
When we finally broke apart, the room erupted into cheers and applause. Penelope was practically jumping up and down with excitement, and even Spencer looked vaguely amused.
Hotch straightened, his hand lingering on my waist as he turned to face the team. “All right,” he said, his tone calm but firm. “That’s enough.”
“Not enough!” Garcia shouted, grinning. “That was amazing!”
Hotch sighed, his lips twitching in the faintest of smiles. Then he looked back at me, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. “We’ll talk later?”
I nodded, my heart still racing. “Yeah. Later.”
And as he stepped away, I couldn’t help but smile, knowing that “later” was going to be the best Christmas present I could’ve asked for.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fluff#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner one shot#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner fluff
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hi, i absolutely love your animal series and can not wait to read all of your diversity december fics but especially the one about an autistic reader! if it's something you'd like to write and/or something that you have the time to fit in would you consider writing a logan x autistic!reader who is having one of those days where their taste buds are all out of whack and he is trying so hard to find something that you can eat because he refuses to let you go to bed without food. maybe a bit of trial and error in their too, like he makes you something but you just can't eat it and expect him to get mad but he's so nice and gentle about it. thanks and don't worry if not 💛
logan howlett x autistic!reader
series masterlist - my masterlist
you may have a meltdown if this day gets any worse. all you want is to go to bed, to shut your eyes to the too-bright lights and fall into a slumber where you don’t have to deal with the buzzing under your skin. tomorrow you’ll wake up feeling marginally better, and you’ll move on as you always do.
but logan’s protective, obsessive about taking care of you, and refuses to let you go to bed without eating. usually it’s nice to have someone like him around, helpful when you’re often forgetting to take care of yourself in such ways, and it’s likely that tomorrow you’ll be grateful to him for feeding you, but right now you’re just tired and overstimulated.
nothing tastes right, your taste buds are all out of whack, and no matter what he makes you, you’re pretty sure it will only make you feel worse. even some of your safe foods aren’t sounding very safe food-y at the moment.
he’s wrapped a weighted blanket around you, turned the lights off in your shared room so that the only illumination comes from the open window, the golden glow of the setting sun. you focus on your breathing, in and out, the texture and weight of the blanket, the rocking motion of your body, back and forth.
there’s a quiet knock on your door, logan letting you know he’s returned, making sure he doesn’t catch you off guard when you’re in this state. he enters with a plate of food, one of your safe foods, and yet when you have the plate in your hands, when you have a forkful of food in your mouth, all you can feel is nausea crawling up your esophagus.
“i can’t,” you choke out, pushing it back into his hands, swallowing against the lump in your throat and pressure in your chest, “just let me sleep. i’ll be better tomorrow.”
he stands by your bedside but doesn’t come any closer, allowing you full control of the situation, letting you decide what kind of proximity you can handle right now. his eyes are so gentle, so understanding, and the kindness he affords you only makes you feel worse.
you wish he would shout at you, call you impossible the way your parents did, throw his hands in the air and tell you to deal with it yourself if you’re going to be difficult. his reactions are an unknown in a world that you thought you finally understood, and it scares you sometimes, how easily he breaks through your walls with his helpful nature and quiet admittances of somewhat understanding the way you’re feeling.
“you can’t go to bed without food,” he says, as if he doesn’t do it all the time. but he wants you to be healthy, never wants you to imitate his bad habits.
tears prick at your eyes, frustration rising in your chest, anger at yourself and at him and at the world and at your brain for being the way it is. he catches your hands before you can bury them into the skin of your arms, nails digging into the flesh, the only way you’re able to let out the volatile energy coursing through you.
“i’ll eat this, you don’t have to,” he continues, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles, “just tell me something you think you can eat. anything. it doesn’t have to be big or a full meal. and i’ll go make it for you.”
he’s too gentle with you, too kind, too understanding. it’s something you never thought you’d find in a relationship, not when you’ve been told your entire life that it’s too difficult to deal with your issues. but if logan’s willing to put in the effort, you tell yourself that you’ll try too, push yourself to be the person he thinks you can be.
so you let your head fall into his chest. he doesn’t touch you, doesn’t push your boundaries any further, just lets you rest there while you think, while you cycle through all your safe foods to find the least offensive of them. and when you whisper it against the soft, worn material of his shirt, he smiles down at you and says, “okay.”
diversity december taglist: @raeinyourdreams @meetmypointlessaddiction @chubbyhedgehog @yxtkiwiyxt @isepod @dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes @deaky-with-a-c
autistic!reader: @thegothempress @z0m3r-blud @yourlocalmerchgirl
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine fanfiction#logan howlett x gn!reader#logan howlett x gn reader#wolverine x gn!reader#wolverine x gn reader#james logan howlett#logan howlett x autistic!reader#logan howlett x autistic reader#wolverine x autistic!reader#wolverine x autistic reader#logan howlett headcanons#logan howlett drabble#wolverine headcanons#wolverine drabble#logan howlett oneshot#wolverine oneshot#wolverine logan howlett#x men#x men origins wolverine#x men 2000#series: diversity december
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FUNGIRL A Trent Alexander-Arnold + Original Character Erotic series.
Chapter 7
18+ Minors DNI
The thin cotton of Amber’s T-shirt clung to her pert nipples as she raised her arms, pulling her hair into a messy bun. Trent smiled lazily over the FaceTime call, melting into his seat as he relished the visual.
As he sat there, his gaze drifted to the three elegant bouquets of velvety roses arranged neatly behind her. The vibrant red of the petals caught his eye, pulling at the corners of his consciousness. A cloud of uncertainty settled in his stomach, and his smile wavered slightly. “Someone’s pleased with you,” Trent remarked, trying to mask the surge of anxiety that twisted within him, betraying his feelings at that moment.
“Thank you! We closed on a case that I’d been working on for a few months. My colleague Kenneth gave them to me,” Amber explained, a soft smile spreading across her lips as she glanced over his shoulder at the flowers she’d been gifted earlier.
“Congratulations!” Trent smiled, clearing his throat as he attempted to stop his mind from going to the worst places.
Outside of her—her body, the way she viewed the present world, her surface-level likes and dislikes, and physical wants and needs—he didn’t know much about Amber’s life, and the revelation made his heart sink.
He had always been drawn to her vibrant energy and infectious laughter, but the more he learned about her professional life, the more he realized how little he truly understood her. The roses were a symbol of her success, but they also highlighted the distance between them—both physical and emotional.
“Thanks! It was tough, but I’m really proud of the outcome,” she said, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “Kenneth helped me with some of the finer details of the case, we spent months and countless late nights working to get a win, I’m over the moon.”
Trent nodded, forcing a smile as he tried to mask the unease brewing inside him. “Congratulations. You deserve it. You’ve worked hard.”
The truth was, Trent had no real grasp of the effort that had been poured into the case that she had successfully championed for her client. As he reflected on their relationship, he began to understand the depth of her words when she remarked that he saw her as little more than a source of pleasure. The woman who existed beyond the warm, intimate cocoon they had spun around each other was an enigma to him, a puzzle he was increasingly eager to solve, yet felt wholly unqualified to approach because of his own doing.
He felt terrible.
Every match he asked her to attend, she attended. Whenever he asked her to make the commute from London to Liverpool for him, she did so without question, and he didn’t know much about her day-to-day life outside of what she did as an occupation.
She’d even faced scrutiny from his friends, degradation and disrespect yet Trent hadn’t paid any attention to the world around her that made Amber Webb the woman she was.
He finally understood why she was so hesitant to accept the earrings he sent her and threw his flowers out. It was Trent doing what he thought was right, not what she actually needed of him.
“Are you doing anything to celebrate?” Trent asked in an attempt to mask his current inner turmoil.
“Not really, we’re having after-work drinks on Friday and then it’s on to the next case I guess,” Amber shrugged.
“Do you have any other plans this weekend?” Trent asked, the knot in his stomach tightening ever so slightly.
“No,” she confirmed.
“Then would you like to come up to Liverpool after your work drinks?” Trent asked, the cogs in his head already turning.
“I’d like that, but the commute…” Amber trailed off.
“Leave it to me,” Trent interjected. “I’ll figure it out,” he continued, surprised by the vulnerability present in his voice.
And so, when Friday rolled around Amber and her colleagues made their way out of the office for the weekend, she messaged Trent to let him know the name of the bar they were heading to and left the rest up to him.
She knew that yesterday evening’s football match against a team she couldn't remember the name of was the last game of the week for Trent and his teammates and that was about it.
Whenever they exchanged words over the phone, he had consistently kept his plans under wraps, leaving her in a state of suspense. Despite the flutter of nerves that churned within her, Amber found herself relishing the thrill of uncertainty and spontaneity that came with it.
“I need a whole bottle of wine to myself,” Amber’s colleague Isabella sighed dramatically as both women climbed into the cab set to take them over to the bar. “This week has been tedious.”
“It has,” Amber agreed, a smile creeping onto her face when her phone vibrated in her hand, the black screen coming to life as a response from Trent came through.
Trent: Have a good time with your colleagues, we’ll have our fun later 😏
The message was rather flirty and made Amber’s cheeks warm as she read it over, before responding and putting her phone back into her purse.
“Who has you smiling like that?” Isabella asked teasingly, playfully poking Amber’s dimpled cheek as she attempted to sneak a peek at her phone.
“No one,” Amber blushed, dulling any suspicion as Trent took over her thoughts, holding them captive as they drove through the city.
“Is it Kenneth?” Isabella asked, her eyes widening in shock.
“No, it's not Kenneth. It's someone else, he's…a friend.” Amber explained trying not to give too much away.
“Would you ever go there with Kenneth?” Isabella pressed, her curiosity piqued.
Amber hesitated, the question hanging in the air. Kenneth was a great colleague, she appreciated his mentorship, and he was incredibly easy on the eye, but the thought of anything romantic with him felt off. “No, I don’t think so. He’s more like a big brother to me. I really value our professional relationship.”
Isabella nodded, but her expression remained skeptical.
“What?” Amber asked in amusement as she took in Isabella’s expression, it was clear she had more to say.
“It's obvious he likes you, have you never noticed?”
Amber rolled her eyes and laughed, shaking her head as she leaned back in her seat, the soft hum of the taxi driving through the night serving as background noise. "Isabella, we're colleagues. Yes, I think he respects and maybe even fancies me, but professionally, nothing's ever crossed the line. He's never made a move, and I've never considered him as anything more."
"Sometimes as women we don't always notice these things," Isabella argued with a raised eyebrow. "Your job's high pressure and your focus is always elsewhere, it's not unusual for people to feel unnoticed if someone's interested but never expresses it."
"Fair point," Amber conceded, though she still didn't see Kenneth in any other light than a valued mentor. As for potential suitors, she had no room in her mind for anyone besides Trent, and lately, that connection had become increasingly complicated.
“As handsome and friendly as Kenneth may be, my attention is elsewhere,” she continued vaguely.
Isabella pressed her lips together, still appearing unsatisfied with Amber's response. "Well, if he's such a good colleague, you should at least consider being kind to him. Someone might miss out on feeling special if you keep passing him up."
"Who says I'm passing him up? Like I said, he's more like a brother to me. I value the professional relationship we have," Amber defended, her tone a touch firmer now as they pulled up to the bar.
The neon lights of the establishment cast a gaudy glow over the vehicle as they climbed out onto the sidewalk, their heels clicking against the pavement. As they stepped inside, the familiar hum of conversation and clinking glasses enveloped them like a warm blanket.
Isabella stopped at the bar, ordering a glass of Sauvignon Blanc for herself before turning to Amber. "I'm heading to the ladies' room. Do you need anything while I'm in there?"
“Just for you to come back out with a change of heart and at least flirt with him,” Isabella smirked. “The same for you?” she asked as the bartender placed a crisp glass of wine in front of her.
“Yes please,” Amber smiled before turning on her heels and heading in the direction of the restroom.
After relieving herself, she lingered at the sink, enjoying the refreshing feel of cool water as she thoroughly washed her hands. Once dry, she reached into her purse and retrieved her favourite lip gloss, the shimmering tube catching the light. With a careful application, she coated her lips in a glossy, vibrant hue, adding a touch of glamour to her appearance. Satisfied, she ran her fingers through her hair, fluffing the strands into place, before making her way back out to the lively atmosphere of the bar.
“There she is!” Isabella smiled as she held up Amber’s glass to her, now joined by a few of their colleagues including Kenneth who had changed out of the suit he wore earlier in the office into a more casual outfit of jeans, sneakers and a knitted sweater.
Amber felt a flutter of nerves as she approached the group, her heart racing slightly at the sight of Kenneth. He looked effortlessly handsome, his dark tapered waves shaped to perfection and his smile warm as he caught her eye. She returned his smile, but the moment was fleeting as she was quickly swept into the lively banter of her colleagues.
“Amber! You made it!” one of her coworkers exclaimed, pulling her into a friendly hug. The atmosphere was electric, laughter and chatter filling the air as they settled into their evening.
“Cheers to a successful week!” Isabella raised her glass, and the others followed suit, clinking their drinks together in a toast. Amber felt a wave of camaraderie wash over her, the weight of the week lifting as she took a sip of her wine.
As the night wore on, the conversation flowed easily, and Amber found herself enjoying the company of her colleagues. They shared stories, jokes, and laughter, but every so often, her gaze would drift to Kenneth. He was engaged in conversation with another colleague, but every now and then, he would glance her way, a soft smile playing on his lips.
“Are you going to keep staring at him, or are you going to say something?” Isabella teased, nudging Amber playfully.
Amber rolled her eyes, a blush creeping up her cheeks. “I’m not staring! It's… you made things awkward now.”
“I didn't do anything wrong,” Isabella winked, and Amber couldn’t help but laugh.
“Okay, okay, maybe I’m a little distracted,” she admitted, her heart racing at the thought of Kenneth’s attention. But her mind quickly flickered back to Trent, the anticipation of their plans later that night sending a thrill through her.
“Speaking of distractions, what’s the deal with that guy you were texting earlier?” Isabella asked, her tone shifting to a more serious note.
“It's a little complicated,” Amber said honestly, her heart fluttering as she thought about the rather complex situation she’d found herself in.
As if Trent had a sixth sense Amber’s purse began to vibrate as her phone rang inside of it. Placing her glass down on the bar, she lifted the flap on her bag and pulled out her phone.
She couldn't help the smile that took over her features as she Trent’s call and placed the phone to her ear.
“Hey,” she greeted, her voice warm and inviting, cutting through the ambient noise of the bar.
“Hi, beautiful,” Trent replied, his voice smooth and familiar, sending a rush of excitement through her. “How’s your evening going?”
“It’s great! We’re just getting started, actually. Everyone’s in here,” Amber said, glancing around at her colleagues, who were laughing and chatting animatedly. “How about you? I watched your game last night, congratulations.”
“Not too shabby on both of our parts. We’ve both won,” he chuckled, and she could almost picture the lazy smile on his face. “But I’m more interested in hearing about your night. Are you having fun?”
“Definitely! It’s nice to unwind after a long week,” Amber replied, her heart fluttering at his praise.
“Do you mind if I join you?” Trent asked instantly, making Amber’s eyes widen in surprise as she looked towards the entrance of the bar.
“Are you here?” Amber asked, her voice tinged with a mix of anticipation and nervousness. Her cheeks flushed a warm shade of pink as she envisioned the intricacies of her arrangements. The thought of her Premier League star friend with benefits mingling among her colleagues sent a flutter through her stomach, blending excitement with a hint of anxiety about how the evening would unfold, and the questions that would be asked.
“I’m outside, but I wanted to make sure you were okay with it first,” Trent replied, his tone light but earnest. “I didn’t want to crash your evening.”
Amber bit her lip, weighing her options. She could feel the energy of the bar pulsing around her, the laughter and chatter of her friends creating a warm atmosphere. But the thought of Trent being there, of seeing him in person, sent a thrill through her. “No, I’d love for you to come in! Just… give me a second to prepare myself,” she said, her heart racing.
“Okay, I’ll give you a second,” he replied, and she could hear the smile in his voice. “See you soon.”
Amber hung up and took a deep breath, her mind racing. She quickly scanned the room, spotting Isabella and the others still engaged in their conversations. She felt a rush of excitement mixed with nerves. What would they think?
The volume of the bar seemed to increase towards the entrance of the bar, bringing with it the patter of Amber’s heart in her chest. Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard someone utter Trent’s name.
When their eyes met across the room, a jolt of electricity surged through Amber. He stood at the entrance, tall and confident, his presence commanding attention. The dim lighting of the bar highlighted the sharp angles of his jaw and the playful glint in his eyes.
Clutching her glass Amber let out a breath she’d been holding as she walked towards Trent, who had been pulled into a conversation with a group of men who asked if he'd take a picture with them.
Amber slowed down slightly as she made her way towards Trent, trying to calm her nerves. She couldn't help but notice the way his broad shoulders filled out his casual grey sweater, and the way his dark curls had grown slightly since she’d seen him last, his hairline lined to perfection as if he'd just stood from his barber’s chair.
He took a deliberate step away from the conversation, letting the noise around him fade into a dull hum. He could feel the weight of curious gazes upon him, each one filled with a mix of intrigue and recognition. He sensed the silent speculation in the air as onlookers tried to piece together why his face seemed so familiar or, more than that, concluded his identity.
Trent's eyes traced over Amber’s figure as she stood before him, the lowcut blouse, jeans and heels she wore equal parts casual and sexy.
“Wow,” he breathed, his voice low and husky as he took in the sight of her. “You look stunning.”
Amber felt a blush creep into her cheeks at his compliment, her stomach fluttering with excitement. “Thank you! I wasn’t expecting your company, but I’m glad you’re here.”
Trent stepped closer, the warmth of his body radiating towards her. “I couldn’t resist crashing the party when you’re celebrating a win,” he said, his tone teasing, but there was an earnestness behind his eyes that made her heart race.
With a fleeting glance over her shoulder, Amber noted her colleagues, engaged in their conversations and completely oblivious to the presence of her unexpected guest. She turned her focus back to Trent, her expression softening into a warm smile. Gently, she extended her glass towards him, the polished surface catching the light as he reached out, fingers brushing against hers. He took a careful sip, savouring the drink while their eyes locked for a brief, electric moment.
“Are you going to introduce me to any of your people?” Trent inquired, his brow furrowed in curiosity as he scanned the crowd, trying to decipher which group Amber belonged to. Just then, Isabella turned away from her conversation, her gaze suddenly drawn to Amber. He noticed a flicker of surprise cross her face, her eyes widening as she recognized the woman standing a short distance away.
“Amber, is that…?” Isabella didn’t even finish her sentence before her expression shifted to one of realization and excitement. “No way!”
Trent chuckled, his confidence soaring as he caught the eye of several of Amber’s colleagues, who were now gaping at him in shock and awe. “Hi,” he said playfully, flashing a charming smile that only seemed to terrify them even more.
Amber’s heart raced with a mix of pride and nervousness as she leaned closer to Trent, feeling his warmth seep into her. “Okay, come on. I’ll introduce you,” she said, trying to shake off her wide-eyed disbelief and pass it off as normal behaviour. She led him toward the small cluster of her colleagues, who had momentarily paused their banter, captivated by the presence of the football star.
“Guys, this is Trent,” Amber announced, gesturing towards him. “He's a friend of mine.” She felt her cheeks grow warm as she admitted it, unsure of how her colleagues would respond.
“Trent, this is Isabella and Kenneth,” she continued, pointing out each one. Kenneth's expression was bemused, his mouth slightly agape, as he absorbed everything unfolding before him.
“Wow, nice to meet you!” Isabella said, flashing a smile of genuine enthusiasm while the other colleagues introduced themselves, their excitement palpable.
Kenneth, however, was still standing a beat too long in silence, assessing Trent with a guarded expression. “So, you’re Amber’s, um, friend,” he remarked, tone casual but with an edge of something more possessive underneath.
Trent turned his attention fully to Kenneth, eyebrows raised with playful challenge. “You could say that.” He shot back with a sly smile, his teasing tone igniting an internal tension that sparked to life igniting the air between them.
Trent had never been an insecure man, nor was he a controlling one in arenas he didn't have to be, but there was something about Kenneth, something about his proximity to Amber that he didn't feel.
She wasn't his girlfriend, but given their situation, there was a level of possessiveness that Trent had adopted when it came to Amber.
The idea that the two good-looking twenty-something-year-olds spent hours on end together was a fact he didn't want to ponder on and in an instant, he'd to his verdict.
He didn't like Kenneth.
Trent stayed close to Amber as he engaged in small talk with her work friends, doing his best to keep his wandering hands at bay.
“Can I get a round of drinks?” he asked, purposefully slipping his hand around Amber’s waist, leaning into her as she said something enthusiastically to Isabella.
“Wines good,” Amber confirmed, holding up her half-empty glass, her breath hitching in her throat when she felt Trent’s fingertips on the skin of her stomach as he listened to the orders of the rest of the group.
As Trent carried their drinks back to their cluster, his fingers brushed against Amber's lower back, sparking a tingle that ran through her. He placed her glass in her hand, his touch lingering just a beat too long, making it clear that he was as affected by their intimate moments as she was.
Trent's gaze softened as it met Amber's, the air between them charged with a current of tension and desire. For a fleeting moment, the noise of the bar faded away, leaving only the two of them suspended in a cocoon of raw emotion.
But reality snapped them back in an instant, their surroundings demanding their attention once more. Amber sipped her wine, her thoughts racing as she tried to process the surreal situation; Trent standing among her colleagues, making small talk as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
As the evening went on, Amber found herself fully at ease in the moment, slightly giddy from a combination of the wine she’d consumed and Trent’s presence.
But beneath the surface of her carefree laughter, she could sense the tension; Kenneth and Trent were exchanging glances, a silent battle of wills playing out in the backdrop. Kenneth’s practised charm felt a touch too deliberate, while Trent’s confidence exuded a raw, lingering energy directed solely at her.
“Another round?” Kenneth asked, attempting to divert the attention back to the drinks, his voice smooth as he regarded Amber. “How about a shot to celebrate your victory?” He leaned closer, his fingers brushing against her exposed collarbone. The contact sent an involuntary shiver down her spine, though she couldn't ignore the discomfort that flickered in Trent’s eyes as he watched.
She noticed Trent’s relaxed demeanour shift slightly, tension curling at the corners of his mouth.
As Kenneth leaned in closer, Amber could feel the warmth radiating from him, but it was an oddly misplaced warmth—one that made her acutely aware of Trent's presence just a breath away. She turned her gaze back to Trent, whose expression had shifted. A subtle tension gripped the space between them, and Amber's heart raced in response.
“Maybe we should skip the shots,” Trent interjected, his tone light but layered with something deeper, an underlying challenge that only Amber seemed to notice.
“Oh come on, Trent,” Kenneth said, his voice dripping with casual confidence. “Amber has just achieved something incredible; she deserves to celebrate.” The way Kenneth's gaze lingered on Amber made her feel exposed as if she were caught in the crossfire of a power play.
“I have a surprise waiting on her,” Trent replied, his smile never faltering, but the intensity in his eyes spoke volumes.
“Oh really?” Kenneth’s brow furrowed slightly, leaning back as he assessed the situation. “What kind of surprise?” The amusement in his tone was at odds with the tension radiating from Trent, who stood protectively close to Amber, his hand resting possessively on the small of her back.
Trent didn’t break eye contact with Kenneth, his expression a mix of amusement and defiance. “Let’s just say it’s something that’ll take us away from this place for a while.”
Amber’s heart raced at the thought. She felt a rush of excitement and curiosity flood through her alongside the growing tension. “What do you mean?” she asked, looking back and forth between the two men, trying to gauge Kenneth’s reaction and Trent’s intent.
Trent’s eyes flickered toward her, softening momentarily. “I arranged for us to take a helicopter ride back to my mansion in Liverpool after your drinks. I thought it might be a fun way to kick off the weekend.”
Kenneth’s demeanour shifted. The confident smirk slipped from his face as the reality of the situation set in. “A helicopter ride?” he repeated, trying to mask his surprise and jealousy.
Amber bit her lip, trying to process the grand gesture. The idea of soaring through the night together, feeling the wind tousle her hair as the city lights twinkled below them, sent a thrill through her. Yet she couldn’t ignore the weight of Kenneth’s glare, a silent challenge in his gaze.
Amber wasn’t sure what any of this was, but until Isabelle had taken the time to point out Kenneth’s behaviour towards her, she hadn’t noticed it.
The unspoken energy between the two men was palpable, hanging heavy in the air like a storm cloud on the horizon. Kenneth seemed to bristle at the suggestion, his earlier carefree attitude evaporating, replaced by an uneasy silence.
Amber felt caught in the middle, torn between two different worlds—the life she led with her colleagues and the whirlwind of intimacy she shared with Trent. She could sense the undercurrent of jealousy emanating from Kenneth, an emotion that stoked the simmering tension.
“Are you ready?” Trent asked, his voice low and inviting, drawing Amber's attention back to him. The warmth in his gaze made her heart race, and she felt a thrill of anticipation ahead of the adventure he had planned.
Isabelle and Kenneth watched the interaction between Amber and Trent, as they readied themselves to leave the bar and head to Liverpool.
“Do you have everything?” he asked softly as she pulled her thick winter coat over her shoulders and fastened the buttons.
“Have a good weekend,” Isabelle smirked knowingly, already anticipating her catch-up with Amber on Monday morning at the office.
“Be safe,” Kenneth added, his tone a mix of concern and something else—perhaps a hint of possessiveness that Amber couldn’t quite place. She caught his eye, and for a moment, the air between them crackled with unspoken words.
“Thanks, Kenneth,” Amber replied, forcing a smile as she felt Trent’s presence beside her, a reassuring warmth that made her feel bold.
“Let’s go,” Trent said, his voice steady and confident as he gently placed a hand on the small of her back, guiding her toward the exit. The gesture sent a thrill through her, and she couldn’t help but glance back at Kenneth, whose expression was a mixture of disappointment and something darker.
As they stepped outside, the cool night air hit Amber’s face, invigorating her senses. She looked up at the starry sky, feeling a rush of excitement at the thought of the helicopter ride. Trent led her to a sleek black car waiting at the curb, the driver stepping out to open the door for them.
“Ready?” Trent asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he slid into the back seat beside her.
“Absolutely,” Amber replied, her heart racing. She felt a mix of exhilaration and nervousness, the thrill of the unknown ahead of them.
As the car pulled away from the bar, Amber glanced out the window, watching the city lights blur by. She could feel Trent’s gaze on her, and when she turned to meet his eyes, the intensity of his stare sent a shiver down her spine.
“Tell me more about this case you won,” he prompted, leaning in slightly, his voice low and inviting. “I want to know what you’ve been working so hard on.”
Amber smiled, grateful for his interest. “It was a complex case involving the separation of a merger that joined in the early 2000s. There were thousands of documents to go through and hours of emails, but I was able to come to an agreement that both parties were happy with. It was exhausting but rewarding to see it all come together in the end.”
Trent nodded, genuinely intrigued. “It sounds like you put your heart into it.”
“I had to,” she agreed. “My dad always says you either took up law because you're crazy or you love it,” Amber smiled softly, making Trent do the same.
“Sounds like you’re a little bit of both,” he teased, his eyes sparkling with admiration. “But seriously, it’s impressive. I love that you’re so passionate about your work.”
Amber felt a warmth spread through her at his words. “Thanks, Trent. It means a lot to hear that from you.” She paused, her expression turning slightly more serious. “I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and it’s nice to have someone recognize that.”
Trent leaned back in his seat, his gaze steady on her. “You deserve all the recognition and more.”
Amber’s heart fluttered at his sincerity. “Thank you, Trent,” she blushed. “I really appreciate it. It’s been a while since someone told me they're proud of me.”
Trent smiled, his expression softening and his heart cracking, he pitied her.
“I’m proud of you, Amber. You’re doing incredible things, and I want you to know that I see you,” he said, his voice sincere. “Not just as the woman I’m attracted to, but as a talented professional who’s doing something and making her mark in the world.”
Amber felt a rush of emotion at his words, a mixture of gratitude and something deeper. “That means a lot to me, Trent. I sometimes feel like I’m just wading.”
“You’re not a distraction,” he replied firmly, his gaze unwavering. “You’re someone I want to be around, and I want to be part of your life, not just the fun parts. I want to know everything about you—the good, the bad.”
Amber smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her. “I want that too. Life is just crazy, I guess.”
Trent reached out, taking her hand in his, his thumb brushing over her knuckles in a soothing gesture. “We can figure it out together. Just take it one step at a time. And tonight, let’s enjoy this adventure. No pressure.”
Amber nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. “You’re right. Let’s just enjoy this.”
As the car approached the helipad, Amber’s excitement bubbled over. She could see the helicopter waiting, its blades spinning gently in the night air. The sight sent a thrill through her, and she turned to Trent, her eyes wide with anticipation.
“Are you ready for this?” he asked, his voice low and playful.
“More than ready!” Amber replied, her heart racing at the thought of taking to the sky.
As they stepped out of the car, the cool night air enveloped them, heightening Amber's senses. She looked up at the helicopter, its sleek design gleaming under the moonlight, and felt a rush of exhilaration. Trent's hand remained firmly clasped around hers, a reassuring presence as they approached the aircraft.
“Just a few safety checks, and we’ll be on our way,” Trent said, his excitement palpable. Amber could see the thrill in his eyes, and it made her heart race even faster.
The pilot greeted them with a nod, and Trent helped Amber into the helicopter, ensuring she was securely seated before taking his place beside her. The interior was surprisingly spacious, with plush seats and large windows that promised breathtaking views.
“Ready?” Trent asked, his voice low and filled with promise.
“Yes,” Amber replied, her pulse quickening. She could hardly believe this was happening.
As the pilot began the pre-flight checks, Amber turned to Trent, her heart swelling with affection. “Thank you for this. It’s incredible.”
Trent smiled, his gaze warm and sincere. “You deserve it. I wanted to do something special to celebrate your success. You’ve worked hard, and I want you to know how much I admire that.”
Amber felt a flutter in her chest at his words. “It means a lot to me, Trent. I’ve never had anyone go out of their way like this for me before.”
“Then let’s make it a night to remember,” he said, his voice filled with promise.
The helicopter lifted off the ground, and Amber felt a rush of adrenaline as they ascended into the night sky. The city below them sparkled like a sea of stars, and she couldn’t help but gasp in awe. The view was breathtaking, and she turned to Trent, her eyes wide with wonder.
“Look at that!” she exclaimed, pointing out the twinkling lights of the city. “It’s beautiful!”
Trent leaned closer, his shoulder brushing against hers. “Just wait until we get higher. It’s even more crazy up there.”
As they climbed higher, the world below faded away, and Amber felt a sense of freedom wash over her. The worries and stresses of her life seemed to dissipate, replaced by the exhilaration of the moment. She glanced at Trent, who was watching her with a soft smile, and her heart swelled.
“Thank you for being here with me,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“You’re welcome,” he replied, his gaze steady and sincere. “You deserve it.”
Amber felt a warmth spread through her at his words. Everything felt a little too perfect and it scared her.
The journey from London to Liverpool was filled with laughter and shared stories, the hum of the helicopter blending with their voices as they navigated the heights together. Amber felt a sense of connection with Trent that she hadn’t fully grasped before, a bond that transcended their physical attraction and ventured into something deeper.
As they soared above the city, the lights twinkling like stars beneath them, Amber couldn’t help but steal glances at Trent. His profile was illuminated by the soft glow of the cockpit lights, and she admired the way his eyes sparkled with excitement.
Her heart raced as the helicopter climbed higher, the wind whipping through the open windows, creating a thrilling sensation that added to her excitement. She could feel a heady mix of adrenaline and longing as she reached out, her fingers brushing against Trent's arm as she pointed out various landmarks below, her excitement bubbling over.
“This is amazing! I can see the river! And look at the skyline!” she exclaimed. The world below was a patchwork of lights, shimmering like diamonds scattered across velvet fabric.
Trent turned to her, his expression a mixture of pride and endearment. “Just wait until we’re over the water. The view is even more breathtaking from there.”
His words sent shivers down Amber’s spine, not just because of the awe of the scenery, but because of the intensity of his gaze. At that moment, she realized just how much he meant to her. As the city continued to fade into the distance below, she felt liberated—free from the constraints of her thoughts that often weighed her down.
As they flew over the shimmering waters of the Mersey, Amber couldn’t help but turn to Trent, her voice barely above a whisper. “This is the most incredible thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
Trent’s expression softened, his eyes never leaving hers. “You deserve everything good in your life, Amber.”
A flutter of warmth spread through her at his words, and she felt a thrill course through her veins. Their eyes held steadily, each heartbeat echoing like drum beats, further closing the gap between the two, bringing them closer to that tension they both felt but had yet to fully acknowledge.
Within those electrifying moments, the helicopter banked gracefully over the coastline, the night sky wrapping them in a cocoon of serenity and allure. Amber marvelled at the rolling waves illuminated by the moonlight, casting an ethereal glow over the water.
By the time the helicopter landed Amber felt as though she was stepping out of a dream as Trent helped her climb out of the aircraft.
“That was amazing,” Amber gushed as took in the sprawling fields around them, turning to look at Trent who had pulled out his key to unlock his car parked a few yards away from the helicopter.
Holding out his hand to Amber, he guided her towards the svelte black car, the way he moved with confidence making her heart flutter.
When they finally made it to Trent’s house, Amber removed her heels eager to rid herself of them before heading upstairs to his bedroom to finally decompress after a long and rather precarious day, with Trent following close behind.
“Finish whatever you’re doing and come to me,” he murmured softly against Amber's lips, his breath warm and inviting. With a teasing grin, he pulled away, playfully catching her lower lip between his teeth for a brief moment before releasing it.
Amber felt a shiver run down her spine as she watched him turn on his heel, his confident strides carrying him across the room and out of sight. Left alone in the intimate setting of his bathroom, she could hear the faint sounds of his movements in the distance as he settled on his bed, awaiting her.
Her heart raced with anticipation as she reached for the hem of her blouse, she pulled it over her head, the fabric grazing her skin before she tossed it casually into Trent’s laundry hamper. Next, she turned her attention to her jeans, unbuttoning and sliding them off with a fluid motion, sending them to join her blouse in the hamper. Now standing in Trent’s bathroom clad only in her delicate lingerie, she felt an intoxicating mix of vulnerability and boldness, the anticipation of what was to come taking over her movements.
Making her way out of the bathroom Amber slowly made her way into Trent’s bedroom, her breathing steady as their eyes met.
“Come here, Amber,” Trent commanded, his voice soft yet filled with dominance as he eyed her hungrily.
Amber stepped closer to him, the anticipation that hung between the palpable as she stood at the end of the bed.
Sitting up, Trent shifted toward the end of his bed, his eyes never leaving Amber's as he reached out for her, pulling her to stand between his parted legs as his hands traced the curves of her shapely hips and thighs, leaning forward to press a soft kiss just above her pantyline as his eyes flicked up to her face.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice filled with want. “I want you in every way.”
Feeling a wave of desire come over her, Amber titled her hips towards Trent’s lips, her breathing uneven as she looked down at him.
“I want you too,” she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper, filled with a mix of longing and urgency. The heat radiating from Trent's body was intoxicating, and she felt herself drawn closer, as if an invisible force was pulling her into his orbit.
Trent's hands moved with a gentle yet firm touch, exploring the delicate fabric of her lingerie, his fingers tracing the lace edges as he savored the moment.
Amber's heart raced as she leaned down, her lips brushing against his in a soft, tentative kiss. The connection ignited a fire within her, and she deepened the kiss, feeling Trent respond with equal intensity. His hands gripped her waist, pulling her closer until she was pressed against him, the heat of his body enveloping her as he pulled her into his lap.
Trent's strong hands roamed over Amber's body, feeling the softness of her lingerie beneath his fingertips as he devoured her lips in a passionate, dominating kiss. She melted against him, her curves fitting perfectly into the contours of his muscular frame.
As their tongues danced, Trent slid a hand up Amber's side, his thumb brushing the side of her breast before finding the hard peak beneath her bra. He pinched gently, eliciting a gasp from Amber that he swallowed as he deepened the kiss.
Breaking away, he leaned back to trail kisses down her neck, his breath hot against her skin as his hands found the straps of her lingerie. He worked at them, uncaring of the scraps of fabric that fell away until Amber was bared to him, her skin glistening in the dim light of the room.
There was a lack of control that Amber brought over Trent that no other woman was able to conjure from him.
And despite being a man of self-control and discipline, with her he loved to exercise his reckless side and lean into his lack of control.
Despite the vacant king-sized bed above them, Trent and Amber had found themselves on Trent’s bedroom floor, his hands gripping Amber’s behind her back as she rode him.
“There you go, sit all the way down on it,” Trent coached through his teeth as he looked up at Amber through heavy, hooded lust-filled eyes.
Amber moaned lowly, her hips rolling languidly against the rigid length of Trent’s dick, their bodies slick with sweat as she adjusted herself to take him fully.
"Just like that," Trent grunted with a furrowed brow, his grip on her wrist dropping so he could palm her ass, his grip tightening as he watched her work him into her pussy.
Amber’s muscles clenched around Trent as she started to move, rocking her hips in a sensual rhythm that had them both panting with desire. She leaned down to kiss him again, her tongue dancing with his as she set a pace that left them both breathless and needy.
“Trent, I’m going to cum,” Amber whimpered helplessly, her mouth falling open in a silent cry as her back arched into him.
As Amber’s orgasm moved through her, her body flopped against his before going stiff as she moved through the motions of a powerful climax.
Trent let out a moan as he felt her teeth press into his neck, her lips brushing over it as she whispered sweet nothings against his warm flesh.
Raising his hips, Trent tangled his fingers in the hair at the back of Amber’s head, tugging it backwards as he peeled her face from his chest so he could look her in the eye as he rearranged her from the inside out.
“I’ve been thinking about fucking you since I woke up this morning,” he grunted as he felt his end nearing.
Drawing out their sex for as long as he possibly could, Trent decided to exercise the power he knew he had over her.
“Who do you belong to?” he asked as he buried himself inside of her, his filled with a mix of desperation and possessiveness.
“Only you,” Amber gasped, her voice laced with surrender as her words hung in the lustful air between them. A declaration of their undeniable connection and the ever growing passion between them.
Trent's hands left imprints on her skin as they reached the peak of passion, her eyes rolling shut as she caught her breath far too suspended in pleasure to do anything but sit there, Trent’s softening cock still buried inside her.
As the final waves of their shared ecstasy faded, Amber remained in her blissful daze, resting her forehead against Trent’s.
Much like the effects of alcohol, the act of intimacy had a profound ability to unearth deep-seated emotions. As Amber nestled her head against Trent's broad chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat provided a comforting backdrop to her thoughts. A haunting melody, begging for reflection and clarity, clarity that she had been trying to avoid the admittance of.
In the case of Trent Alexander-Arnold; she was his without regard—even though she knew he wasn't ready to give himself to her in the same way.
#fanfic#jude bellingham smut#chick lit#trent alexander fluff#trent alexander arnold angst#trent alexander arnold smut#trent alexander x reader#trent alexander arnold fanfic#trent alexander imagines#trent aa#trent alexander arnold#taa#liverpool#liverpool fc#arronpierre#smut
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15 Day BL Challenge (part 4)
59. What's a hill you're willing to die on when it comes to BL?
Omg, yes, someone asked me!!!!!
I will die on this hill, fite me.
*ahem*
Cupid’s Last Wish is a good series!
I know there is a shit ton of hate for this series and I have absolutely no idea why. It is a masterclass in physical acting, seriously, it is phenomenal! The story is very basic, because the focus of the series is the character’s journey and self discovery. Korn and Win already knows they’re in love, the story begins with them already knowing that they love one another, they just haven’t acted on those feelings nor have they admitted their feelings to one another. But never once does the narrative act like we the viewers are supposed to wonder if they love one another, that’s not the point of the plot. It’s how miscommunication and grief can blind someone so much that they lose themselves within those feelings.
In the case of the series, Win literally loses himself thanks to his anger. He nearly kills his body and damns his sister’s soul, so he must go on a pilgrimage with Korn to heal his own soul whilst his body is wavering between life and death which could very well take his sister’s soul with it. Korn, his best friend of 22 years and soulmate is the only person who can see him whilst trapped in his sister Lin’s body, because Korn always sees Win for who he really is. And of course we have the conniving mother, a well meaning family friend and a mysterious monk.
This is some of Mix’s best acting, not just as Win since Mix doesn’t usually play such a toxic character. But because for most of the runtime he is playing a male character trapped inside a female’s body, trying to trick everyone expect for three people that he is in fact a woman. Jan is fantastic in the role as well, because when she’s onscreen she must act as if she is a male stuck in an woman’s body with a male’s mind, trying to convince people she’s a woman.
It’s a complete mind fuck! Mix and Jan are fantastic as Win, the way they carry themselves, walk the same, stand the same, take up the same space, speak the same way. But don’t think Earth has it easy in this series either, because he had to make sure he held, touched and spoke to Mix and Jan exactly the same way. So when they edited the scenes to overlap, seeing Jan’s body instead of Mix’s, Earth is in the exact same position with both of them.
Seriously, if you dropped this series, try it again. Watch it just for the acting, because it’s phenomenal.
Also it has what might be the best onscreen reaction to menstruation from a male’s point of view without it being misogynistic, gross or rude. They make some jokes, like Korn not knowing what kind of pads to get for Win when he starts his period, and of course how Win feels having to care for and clean his sister’s body in a respectful manner. How he experiences her emotions, her hormonal shift, the pain of cramps, the way his whole body aches and how sick he feels. Korn is also so caring, trying to help Win through something he’d never experienced before without crossing a line with Lin’s body because whilst it’s Win, his best friend and love of his life, and when he looks at Lin he sees Win in his mind, it is still Lin’s body physically there. And as much as he loved Win, wanted Win, Lin was a baby sister to him and he could not, would not, touch Lin’s body in a sexual manner.
At the end of the series when he admits to Win and Lin’s mother that ‘something happened’ between him and Lin (it was Win, but in Lin’s body) all he meant was that Win had kissed him. Yes, he had kissed Win, shared a bed with Win, but he knew how that looked to people who didn’t know it was Win in Lin’s body. So to keep Lin from being shamed he agreed to marry her, instead of trying to explain to their mother that the assumption she was making about Korn taking Lin’s virginity was wrong.
There are fantastic villain characters in the form of the scheming aunt and uncle. Not to mention the family secret, Win and Lin’s mother facing her homophobia concerning her son, Lin being in love with someone else and of course Korn being forced into a mess that he did not want to be a part of but considering he had been friends with Win for 22 years and loved him more than life, how could he say no?
It’s a beautiful story, it’s funny, well acted and has Mix working with animals!
#blchallenge2k24#cupid’s last wish#cupid’s last wish the series#kornwin#earthmix#earth pirapat#mix sahaphap#jan ployshompoo#yes it’s based around a family’s dairy farm which some viewers might have issue with#but I’m a vegan and watched it just fine#although I mean…#I dont eat meat for medical reasons and I’m lactose intolerant#so I legit have no horse in this race lol
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Finally decided to finish writing part one to this prompt. Please ignore that I took 2 months to write like this
content warning! : descriptions of gore/injury, slight groping, no dialogue, Also i'm not particularly great with writing, its all just for fun.
wc: 648
Things just seemed too peaceful. Surely there should be more noise than the guttural moans of pain escaping your cracked lips. Yet, there was nothing, no sounds of the excessive nature surrounding you, no wildlife chirping with life, nothing, just the exhausted heaving of your chest as you desperately try to catch your breath, limping to find anyone that could possibly help you.
You can't recall how long it's been since you were separated from your team, but it was long enough to know they weren't searching any longer, but you doubt they searched in the first place, you were somebody people didn't mind losing, deadweight as they'd call it. While the fading sounds of your surroundings echoed in your mind, a sudden sharp pain snapped you back to reality. Blood gushed out of your leg, a deep red color that seemed to somehow look delectable to the raw hunger aching in your stomach. Thank goodness you saw the thick berry jam oozing from your body inviting your fingers to shove themselves into the jar and stuff the two digits down your desperate mouth. You let out a wicked scream of pain when two fingers greedily dug into your wound realizing you had further mutilated yourself, causing your feeble body to collapse to the ground. It's too bad you were oh so close to what looked like an isolated cabin standing solitary in the woods, only just a few feet away from your blurred vision.
Your senses were dulled, each breath more labored than the last, but somehow, the sight of the cabin ignited a flicker of hope within you. Clenching your jaw against the pain that radiated from your leg, you pulled yourself up with weak determination. The wound was ghastly. Hot blood pooled beneath you, staining the dry leaves and soil underneath like a gruesome work of art. But the cabin stood resolute, a solitary figure against the contamination of the forest, a chance that someone lived there.
You dragged yourself forward, each movement sending daggers of agony through your leg. You could barely focus, the world shifted in and out of clarity as you stumbled toward the door before collapsing on the dirty excuse of a front porch. The world twisted and warped around you like a reflection of your child self in a fun house mirror at the state fair. Gasping for air, each inhale felt like swallowing shards of glass that clawed at your throat. Shadows clouded your vision, thick and eerie, covering the world in a muted, dark hue. But something was wrong, completely, irrevocably wrong. One shadow seemed to stand out darker than the rest, it was the shadow oddly shaped like a man. A man so unsettling it was probably best you died here before he got his hands on you. He loomed over you, taking pleasure in your agony. Knowing nobody would ever find you out here, he's not even quite sure how you managed to get here, but oh is he thrilled you did.
His large hands quickly reach down to grab onto your body, calloused fingers roughly grazing over your breasts where your bulletproof vest previously clung to your skin, but now pathetically hung off your frame. You immediately recoil at his touch, wincing from the ache of your wounds. You may have been delirious but you just knew you weren't safe.
How sick of him to stare at you like a piece of meat while you desperately clung to life, praying you won't die like this. But he just couldn't help himself. How could he? You just weakly lay in his arms, so afraid, such a tragic girl. He needed to save you. He would be your savior whether you wanted him to be or not.
(I plan to make this a series if I have the time)
taglist - @ang3lc
#cod ghost#ghost x reader#ghost x f!reader#simon ghost riley x f!reader#cod fanfic#cod imagines#cod x reader#ghost hcs#simon riley x you#simon riley blurbs#simon ghost riley blurbs#angelrissa
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Okay, I bow to the Japanese team. If you had told me that they would take the thirteen 45-minute episodes of Lita and make eight 30-minutes episode, I would have been like no way. But they did, and they did a good job while also making it feel fresh and new enough to watch both.
You would think that by doing both kidnappings in one episode, one would suffer, but they managed to make both extremely emotional.
Rei felt like he was in a lot more danger than Rain. It helped that there wasn't a ridiculous memey kidnapped photo to sort of break the mood.
My heart hurr for Kai. I was also screaming for Fuma to get there to help him
No, Kai, don't stop him. That asshole needs to die. Although it felt like he was more protecting Fuma there from the consequences of killing someone.
Yes, Arashi got to actually fight while still proving he would give up his pride to make Rei safe.
Ha ha, Rei going WWE with the chair that was almost as good as dick stomping.
The interactions between the two couples post kidnapping were both so good.
and they even managed to throw in some friend group interactions. How did they manage all that in half an hour, and like the rest of the series, it didn't feel rushed
Now I need the special episode. I wonder where it will air
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The Commander: Part One
**Spoilers For All of Arcane**
Thankfully, despite being perhaps the least understood and appreciated character arc in modern media, the amount of incredible material being sent into the ether defending/explaining Caitlyn Kiramman's arc for season two has become truly inspiring. In fact, it was two statements I saw being echoed across the fandom that drove me to the point I was willing to emerge from lurkerdom, and start engaging with all of you wonderful people.
"Vi was the Jinx"
"Ku Klux Kiramman"
Now any of you who have kept up with my writing know that the first one is just about aneurysm inducing to me. And as such, I have written quite a bit about it. But the second one is no less idiotic, and while I have written multiple shorter pieces addressing various aspects of her character. It is on this subject I return to you tonight, hoping to put together a more complete picture of my thoughts on her story, and continue to support the recognition of the humanity, and heroism of Caitlyn Kiramman.
Before we begin, there will perhaps be someone who reads this, who has filed the story of Caitlyn Kiramman away under the heading of "ACAB", or "Facist" in their own mind, and chosen to turn away from what lies below the surface this tale. If that is you, welcome. I would encourage you to read ahead with an open mind and heart, and to see the humanity that lies in all of us reflected in this story both good and bad. For as Desmond Tutu once said "My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together"
______________________________________________________________
The Lead Up:
At twenty-three years old, Caitlyn Kiramman's life has been altered in ways too vast to reckon with in only a matter of days. I have extensively detailed a series of events in another document specifically with the goal of showing who she is as the story develops. I will not do so again here, but below will list both the destabilizing events, and a basic rundown of who we have come to know, following this characters story.
Who She is-
Bright and curious/ we meet her as a happy and helpful young girl walking with Jayce in episode 1
Unwilling to turn on those she cares for/sitting out in the rain to speak to Jayce when her parents turned on him
Wants to protect her people/when Grayson asks what Kiramman is shooting for, we see her look out over the city
Dedicated Enforcer (believes in the system)/ When caught investigating the airship without permission, we learn she has done this before. And later that she has an ongoing investigation into the corruption of the undercity.
Open minded toward undercity/ Many examples. Kindness to large man who Vi keeps ruining when she finds him shot, she hugs Huck without reservation for saving Vi, verbally equates undercity and topsiders while caring for Vi, stands by testimony that Jinx alone was the reason for the attack even after her mother's death.
Brave and loyal/Engages Sevika immediately to save Vi's life, trades her rifle to save Vi, tries to trade her freedom for Vi's before she learns the Firelights are allies.
Destabilizing/Traumatizing events-
Survives Jinx's theft of gemstone in which six enforcers were killed.
Helps Vi escape Silco and his goons, they literally bring a building down.
First meeting with Jinx in person, attack of the firelights.
Taken by firelights, doesn't know if they are going to hurt them or not at first.
Almost killed by the sheriff after watching him shoot Ekko.
Survives Jinx's attack.
Abducted by Jinx from her childhood home, naked, while in the shower.
Bound and gagged with smiling mask at Jinx's tea party. Listens as Jinx tries to get Vi to kill her.
Has opportunity to stop Jinx, shows mercy at Vi's pleading.
Violently knocked out.
Helplessly watches Jinx fire the rocket that will kill her mother and 2 other councilors.
Summary: So, at twenty-three years of age, Caitlyn has lost her mother, been almost killed by the leader of the system of law and order she has believed in her entire life, been terrorized, abducted and nearly murdered multiple times by the same woman who killed her mother, who she possibly could have stopped. All in a matter of days. To help keep things in perspective, let's look at a few points using USA real life application.
She has only been legally allowed to drink for two years.
Based on the average, she has not even been able to drive for ten years.
Based on the average, she would graduated high school five years ago at most.
Based on the average for American college students she would be close to finishing her bachelors degree if she was in college.
Now, moving forward we are going to discuss both the grief and trauma she is experiencing. Those who have read my material have seen my stance regarding her grief. It is not different here so by all means skip ahead. It is only thanks to an insightful user who wrote an excellent post regarding her trauma recently that I realized I had been neglecting that point, so I will try to do it justice here. But we cannot move into her "down-fall" without a proper look at these two factors.
Grief-
" Zaunites live with fear of death constantly, Caitlyn loses one family member and gets to lose her mind"
" Not gonna feel bad for the oppressor when the oppressed finally hit back. #sorrynotsorry"
" So losing your mom justified becoming a war criminal?"
Folks, I've said it many times at this point and will continue to say it. Grief is not a contest. The way in which we perceive the world has to come through the filter of our beliefs and experiences. Now it can change, as we grow, and learn, and come to understand more about the wider world around us. But it's just how it works. Of course, if you grow up with death all around you, you are not going to react as strongly to the single death of a loved one. Not to say of course that you don't grieve or feel that loss, but it will be less jarring.
But for a moment, imagine you have never felt that pain. Never known the darkness of someone who used to occupy a place in your world being gone and there being nothing you can do. Oh, and for an added bonus, add the guilt of feeling like you could have saved them...
It does not erase the pain of the people of Zaun to validate that of Caitlyn. It does not deny the history of oppression and suffering of the Undercity to recognize and validate that after days of incredibly traumatizing violence, this young woman now has to reckon with her mother's violent death that she will always wonder if she could have stopped.
Trauma-
"I want to tear that laugh from her throat forever"...
"I understand now, how easy it is to hate them. One vicious act.."
*As I have stated in various posts mostly pertaining to Jinx, I am in no way a mental health professional of any kind. So anything I share is my effort at understanding through research and observation*
To begin, we need to remember how Caitlyn grew up. Wealthy, safe, and privileged. People are determined to use her upbringing to rob her suffering of any validity, but... why? Does the fact that she was raised in wealth rob her of the ability to suffer? to bleed? No, at the end of the day it means she has known a life without danger, hunger, pain and loss. And in only a matter of days, has had each of those things violently crash into her life with no way to stop it.
As I am operating from a complete layman's perspective, I am going to try and keep this simple:
Near Death Experiences- In a matter of days Caitlyn has for the first time in her life, been through a series of events that could easily have killed her. Speaking as someone who used to do a job that occasionally placed me in violent situations, and never as severe as what Caitlyn has been through, I can tell you the effects of each and everyone are quite real. According to a report from the Bureau of Justice Statistics in 2009, "Among all victims of violent crime, the two most widely experienced emotional symptoms were feeling worried or anxious (72%) and feeling angry (70%) for a month or more". A month of heightened anger and anxiety from a single violent incident. She has been through quite a bit more than that.
2. Abduction- Caitlyn was taken from the bathroom of her childhood home. She was naked when Jinx showed up, and at some point made to put on her Enforcer uniform and bound and gagged. By this time, Jinx has almost killed her several times, and killed many of her peers. And now she is here in Caitlyn's home, in a place where Caitlyn is vulnerable and all alone. Violating her sense of safety and security to the highest degree. An article from Sage Journals by David Alexander and Susan Klein lists "intrusive thoughts..hypervigilance..anger.. and depression" all as possible long term effects in victims of hostage taking and abductions, among many others. We can see all of these manifesting in Caitlyn, but to draw attention to Intrusive thoughts:
"I keep seeing three faces... but then there's Jinx... laughing.. I want to tear that laugh from her throat forever"
SEASON 2:
Okay.... that was a lot! I know, and I appreciate you if you are still here (yes even you hashtagger). But now that we have established a proper baseline and understanding of what occured in season one we can really dig into season 2 and everything this young woman goes through.
Before the attack on the memorial, it seems as though there is a chance of Caitlyn keeping her ahead above that dark water she feels rising. Even with all that has happened, she does not blame the Undercity at this time. She maintains her testimony that Jinx alone is responsible. She protests that innocents will be caught in the cross-fire when Salo wishes for war. What she could not know, is that Ambessa Medarda was already making moves to get the war she has been hoping for, and has her eyes on Caitlyn to do it.
The Memorial Attack-
The Memorial attack is the push. it is the thing needed to tip Caitlyn over the edge she had only barely been clinging to. She and Vi share a moment afterward in which Vi recognizes that this had been done for the sake of the spectacle, but Caitlyn is angry... on top of everything else she has been through, even a day to mourn her mother's passing has been tainted with violence. Her fellow enforcers lay dead all around them, as well as the bodies of their attackers mere feet from the watch statues of the deceased councilors.
And although she was not, it is entire reasonable to assume Caitlyn and Vi would assume Jinx's involvement in some way given all that happened. Caitlyn admits she is afraid... afraid that if she goes after Jinx without Vi, one of them will die. And the dominoes begin to fall as our characters are driven to betray their principles in the name of "justice"... As Caitlyn strides into the Council meeting, announcing she has claimed the role as the leader of her house, and will be leading a strike team into Zaun with 3 objectives.
Dismantle Shimmer
Apprehend Jinx
Neutralize any agents still loyal to Sico
All according to plan...
*** Sorry folks didn't intend to have to split this in two but time ran out on me. Hope to get part 2 up over the next day or so. Thanks for reading!****
#arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season 1#caitvi#jinx arcane#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#vi and caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn kirraman
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@runnning-outof-time Tommy being the first to make amends...it really is a Christmas miracle 😱!
I read your note at the bottom, and I'm ashamed to say, I've never seen "A Christmas Carol" so what I can gather from this wonderful little piece is...Tommy fucked up 😂.
“You’ve been a better man since she’s entered your life, Thomas"- “She’s done way more for you than anyone else has,”-“I really like her, dad,” ahhh 😌, well isn't this just blissful to see? Everyone important in his life making it known to him how he royally messed up 🤭. I can't help but giggle at the idea of Tommy having to endure these hard truths while he continues to brood in his pouty strop.
Charlie came to me,” he chose the one out of his previous three visitors who he felt would cut through her reinforcements the deepest. “He said he missed you, asked if you’d be here for Christmas. He really likes you.” Not Tommy using Charlie to win her back 😂. But this is definitely something canon Tommy would do. God forbid he ever fully admit and express something. I love how you stay true to his character in your stories. Your writing always makes me feel like I'm reading a spin off of the series ❤️.
“Shame his father’s a terrible man,” she couldn’t resist getting a dig in. Ooh 💅🏼. Goodness, what did he do 😬? I can't say I'm not enjoying seeing her get under his skin. Brooding, moody Tommy, is something I'll always enjoy 🤭.
“everyone should have someone for Christmas…” - “and right now, that’s all you’ll have me for.” another fantastic set of lines from Y/N! I just love how she's isn't given into him so easily. You just know he's internally self combusting with impatience 😂.
Love this little Christmas story, K ❤️!
Someone For Christmas - Tommy Shelby x Reader
“You’ve been a better man since she’s entered your life, Thomas,” Polly commented, a knowing look present on her face, “don’t go back to the man you were before her.”
She was the first to visit the brooding Tommy Shelby that evening, and she brought back to light all of the poor choices he’d made in the past.
“She’s done way more for you than anyone else has,” Ada said as she sat down across from her brother, “I see how she helps you every day. Only a fool would let her go, Tom.”
Tommy stared straight ahead at the Christmas tree as his sister rehashed all of the correct decisions he’d made recently…and she made sure to point out how the woman being mentioned was part of every one.
“I really like her, dad,” five year old Charles Shelby’s voice was soft as he held onto the doorknob of his father’s study. “Will she come back for Christmas?”
This time, Tommy looked at the person — the third of the day — addressing him. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. “I…I, I don’t know, son,” was all he managed to get out.
“Why’d you call me here, Tommy?”
This time Tommy Shelby was the one who requested a visitor.
“I wanted to speak to you,” he answered, not realizing how business forward the sentence sounded until it left his lips. The fact that her one eyebrow quirked upward immediately after he finished speaking told him that he’d be fighting an up-hill battle.
“About?” she asked, her guard still very much up. She couldn’t believe he called her back again….she couldn’t believe she gave in and listened, again.
“I need you to come back, (Y/N),” he decided it’d be best not to dance around the subject.
“If you want to win me back, that’s not how you do it,” she blatantly responded. Tommy sighed, running a hand over his face. “Did someone put you up to this?” she then asked another question, “because it seemed like where we stood was pretty final the last time we spoke.”
“Charlie came to me,” he chose the one out of his previous three visitors who he felt would cut through her reinforcements the deepest. “He said he missed you, asked if you’d be here for Christmas. He really likes you.”
“I really like him too,” a soft smile formed on (Y/N)’s face as she thought of the boy. Tommy thought he was finally gaining some headway. “Shame his father’s a terrible man,” she couldn’t resist getting a dig in.
“(Y/N)…” Tommy locked eyes with her, a deadpanned expression present on his features.
“You brought this upon yourself,” she didn’t crumble under his gaze, instead returning it to him.
“I don’t want to argue with you,” he paused to sigh, pressing the pads of his thumb and index finger against his eyelids, “this meeting was meant to be an extension of an olive branch.”
“Tommy Shelby offering peace?” the surprise was clear in (Y/N)’s voice as her eyes widened greatly. “Well I’ll be damned…it’s a Christmas miracle!” her sarcastic comment had him sending another glare her way. She couldn’t help but smile at it…she was having fun getting under his skin.
A moment’s pause fell over the conversation as Tommy took some time to regain himself. There was no use blowing this up to more than it had to be. He knew (Y/N) was trying to push his buttons, and he had to hand it to her…she was succeeding. There was no hiding the fact that they had some things that they needed to hash out, and he had no doubt that they’d get to that soon enough. Christmas Eve wasn’t the time for that though. Right now all that he could think of was his son, and how he so desperately wanted someone other than his preoccupied father sitting beside him in front of the Christmas tree come tomorrow morning.
“Will you accept it?” he finally asked, affirming that he wanted no parts of getting into the details of the animosity that stood between them.
Now it was (Y/N)’s turn to think. She truly did love Charlie, even if his father had been getting on her nerves as of recently. What she didn’t want was this to seem like her seceding to him so quickly. If he wanted her back this time, he was going to have to work for it.
“(Y/N)?” Tommy called out, bringing her out of her thoughts and back to the conversation they were having.
(Y/N) pursed her lips as she looked at him again. His eyes were already intently on her, and she knew that he wouldn’t wait much longer for her response. Thankfully she’d decided - right now they didn’t need to discuss what their future would look like…right now they needed to focus on going one day at a time.
So with that in mind, she answered him: “everyone should have someone for Christmas…” she paused, letting those words sink in for a moment before she added the second half of her statement: “and right now, that’s all you’ll have me for.”
A/N: congrats on 17k, Chi! I’m sorry that wasn’t able to write something more than these few lines. This was my take on the movie/book A Christmas Carol - I hope it came across as such.
MASTERLIST
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