#would be less annoying if the ads weren't so obnoxious

[tanadrin]

hmm. ublock origin no longer seems to reliably work on youtube for me. unfortunate!

[valentinetypewriter]

The Lion And The Snake - Chapter One

Summary: the Black siblings and the Marauders hate each other, and nothing and no one will ever change that, well at least that's what they think

Main Masterlist // marauders era masterlist

Notes: I'm changing the Yule ball to be an annual thing and not a triwizard tournament thing. Also I'm not entirely fluent in French so I'll be using google translate, so I apologise if anything is incorrect. And lastly I'm adding in just a random oc that will become more important later on - let me know your guys thoughts on this fic in the comments

Warnings: bullying, fighting, mean Marauders, slytherin Sirius, badly translated French

Word count: 1,944

The problem with Gryffindors in general was that if you weren't in their house they didn't seem to think you were worth their time, they were all so self assured and confident in a sort of 'I'm better than everyone else' sort of way, and even the Slytherins got along with the other two houses better than Gryffindor. The worst of them though was the infamous Marauders, a trio of rowdy (and incredibly annoying) Gryffindors. James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin, everyone in school knew of them, even the ones who couldn't care less, though it was for all the worst reasons. The three were always pulling off cruel and idiotic pranks on other students, their preferred targets being pureblood slytherins. They were nothing more than over the top bullies who had no sense of boundaries, even within their own house.

Though the Marauders, and most gryffindors, often thought the problem was with Slytherin. They were after all the evil house, nothing more than obsessive purebloods who would marry a cousin before even thinking of marrying a half-blood, well that's what they thought of them anyway. Their favourite targets were a set of twins in 5th year, a year younger than them and quiet too, not many friends to talk to about being bullied either. Their targets were none other than Regulus Arcturus Black and Y/n Vulpecula Black, who tended to stick to themselves, which meant that the only friends they had were the friends of their older brother. Though Sirius nor his friends had any problem with the two kids hanging around them, especially if it meant they wouldn't be targeted by older Gryffindor students.

Unfortunately today was not a lucky day for the twins, as they were on their way to their Divination classroom a loud and obnoxious voice rang out from the end of the hallway "well if it isn't my favourite little twins" the two sped up before even looking behind them, the only thing they didn't account for was the much taller and intimidating boy who was waiting around the corner at the other end for them to approach. "What's the rush" large hands rested on their shoulders, the two stayed quiet glaring up at the boy. "Oh thanks for catching these two moony!" The short blond haired boy said with too much joy for someone so terrible. Regulus was the first to speak up "what the hell do you three want" his voice was harsh and clearly irritated "well little spitfire is that anyway to talk to upperclassmen, and to think we were going to be nice to you today" James slung his arms around them, squeezing himself uncomfortably close in-between the two kids "yeah sure, we totally believe that" the young boy bit back, shoving James's arm off himself. "You know what lads, I think we should teach these little punks how to respect their elders" Remus said, shoving the twins back around the corner. "You know moony I was thinking the exact same thing" Peter piped in, opening a closet door behind him. Of course James quickly caught on "wormtail, moony you two are genius" the brunette quickly shoved the two into the closet before casting a locking spell they wouldn't be learning until next year. The young girl was quick to bash on the door "let us out you dicks!" The tall scarred boy moved closer to the door "oh sorry little vixen, you two had your chance, we have to teach you some manners that your parents clearly aren't" she could hear the three boys laugh with each other before their voices faded out as they walked off. The young girl let off one last kick to the door before looking towards her brother "how are we supposed to get out?" She sounded defeated. Regulus was quick to move around the room, shoving things away to make space on a shelf. He grabbed a piece of parchment and his quill from his bag, he quickly wrote onto the paper before casting an enchantment on it and slid it under the door "I sent a letter to Sirius and I added a small map that'd lead him to us".

The twins sat down together, talking mindlessly about classes before ending up on the topic of who'd they take to the Yule ball "I don't think I'll actually go this time" the girls brother looked up at her "but Y/n you didn't go last year either" she just shrugged "I just don't have anyone to ask, and no one asked me last year, I doubt it'd be different" the boys shook his head "Evan seems to have taken a shine to you, I think he might ask you" Y/n let out a dry laugh "I highly doubt that Reggie, I'm sure he'd ask Barty before me" the boy was cut off before he could respond by the door slamming open. Outside stood their older brother, slightly out of breath and his curly hair a mess "are you two alright, they didn't hurt you did they, je vais les tuer" the two shook their heads "no we're fine Siri" y/n said, walking past her older brother to exit the closet "right well I'll get you two to class safely". The walk to their classroom was quick and Sirius was even quicker to try and walk off before being stopped by Regulus "oh and Sirius, try to not beat anyone up this time" he had a wolfish grin on his face that screamed trouble "I promise I won't personally lay a hand on them".

Divinations went by quickly, as did most of Y/n's classes, and lunch quickly came around. She was walking from charms class, one she happened to not share with her brother, to the great hall. On her way there she saw a few students running around her, all heading towards the courtyard, yelling about some kind of fight. At first Y/n thought it was just another duel between two students, that was until she got closer and heard the violent sounds of skin hitting skin. She pushed through the crowd hoping her worried thoughts wouldn't be true, unfortunately they were very true. Fighting in the middle of the courtyard stood none other than the Marauders fighting with Sirius and his Friends, Barty, Evan and another pureblood slytherin girl he was close with, Sabrina Sallow. Well it was more Sirius watching his friends beat up the Marauders then anything, he stood there, leant up against a tree with a bright grin on his face "you know I would give nothing more then to bash your heads in for what you three did, unfortunately though I made a promise not to lay a hand on any of you". Y/n could at least give him that, the thing about Sirius is that he always kept his word, he also always found a way around the things he'd promise. The fight was pretty brutal to Y/n, the fights she was used to were sanctioned duels, not something so muggle like. She had seen them all do horrible stuff that'd bruise or scar, they scratched and punched and pulled on hair, Y/n was even sure she had seen Barty bite Peter on the hand. It carried on for a bit longer until the terrifying voice of Professor McGonagall rang throughout the courtyard "what on earth are you all doing!" The six fighting students all pulled themselves up, a bit of shoving here and there "my office now, all seven of you" none of them made even a sound of disagreement as they trudged off to her office. As they walked off, Sirius saw Y/n in the sea of students, giving her a thumbs up before continuing on. "The rest of you clear out, I'm sure you all have much better things to do" once she left the students were quick to disperse, now there was no longer anything entertaining going on, a few lingered to continue their lunch outside. Y/n though went off to find her twin, to tell him about what she just witnessed.

Y/n was quick to find her brother, sitting in their usual spot under a large tree in a normally empty courtyard. The girl quickened her pace slightly at the sight of him, when she reached him she practically threw herself onto the bench "you will not believe what just happened" Regulus looked up from the book he was writing in "oh, did you find James snogging a boy again?" The girl rolled her eyes at her brother "no not this time, it was actually to do with Sirius" he closed his book, placing it back into his bag "was he the one snogging a boy" Y/n hit him on the arm slightly "will you stop talking about boys snogging each other, no I saw Sirius in a fight, a physical one, well sort of, it's was his friends actually, they were fighting those stupid Marauders and he was watching" his eyes grew wide "he did what, did he get hurt!" Y/n shook her head, smiling at her twins worry for their older brother "no he didn't get hurt, they all got into trouble though, with professor McGonagall" Regulus sighed "of course they did, I'm sure they will all be stuck in detention for months" he stood up pulling his book bag over his shoulder "do you want to go find Sirius and the others, we can either congratulate them for their stupid bravery…" he paused for a few seconds mulling over his options "or we could go reprimand them for getting in trouble" Y/n beamed up at the now standing boy "you know what, that sounds wonderful Reggie". She wrapped her hand around his arm, quickly pulling him in the direction of the Slytherin common room, hoping that Sirius would be there.

The twins arrived at the common room, their heads darting around the students inside before landing on the group they were hoping to find. They all sat by the large fireplace, and despite just getting in trouble they all held prideful looks on their faces as they talked about how many hits they got in. The two approached the group, sitting down on one of the open couches. "You know you're all unbelievably stupid right?". The four teens looked over at the younger students "yeah but we won though didn't we lads" barty said slightly shaking Evan who was sitting next to him, Sabrina and Evan were quick to agree. Sirius though just looked over at his siblings smiling "I couldn't just let them get away with what they did" they both smiled at him "We appreciate that Siri but you can't keep getting in trouble for us" it was obvious to both his siblings that Regulus was worried about Sirius, even if he would never admit that. "Well you look like you need to rest, that adrenalin will wear off soon and you three will be in a whole lot of pain". Barty, who was always over dramatic, threw himself over the twins "tell me doctor, will I live to see another day" his Scottish accent thick in his fake tone of sadness. Y/n lent down to make eye contact with the lanky teen "not if you keep biting people, you feral boy" he laughed as the girl shoved him off. "She's right though you lot should head to the medical wing, I'll make sure they get to class alright" Barty stayed laying on the sofa until Sabrina and Evan dragged him off

[asleepinawell]

(almost) final thoughts on the dlc. obviously there are spoilers below

very mixed bag overall. I'm at the last boss fight now and did just about everything else except one or two mausoleums.

the good:

some really beautiful areas

horror stealth area! could have been a little smaller and had some more items but overall very cool

some of the bosses were excellent, like rellana and midra. also bayle was great after he finished slamming you into the fog gate and puking fire all over you for the first 30 seconds

dying to know more about that shaman village area that was marika's hometown. hoping i missed some lore someone else will pick up on. edit: i found the missing piece of lore that linked two things together and understand now. honestly this dlc was more about marika than miquella in some ways and i don't think that's a bad thing since the marika lore was more interesting. also adds some speculative insight into why she might have shattered the elden ring which is what i wanted

rellana's double moon spell is very cool and actually useful if you can time it well. possibly less practical than other spells but it looks cool

minimal platforming thank god

some very cool new weapons like rellana's swords. always wanted to look like pontiff sulyvan

the lgbtq community has forgiven mohg

the bad:

a lot of the world level design used multiple elevations. it was extremely hard to navigate and find some areas, moreso than in the base game

several map fragments were at the far end of the area they covered meaning you'd go through the whole area without a map so what was the point. also the elevation thing made this even harder

there were a lot of empty areas. I'd regularly find a way up to a plateau and it would be empty. there were whole main areas that had almost nothing. felt like they really wanted it to be huge for the sake of being huge and didn't have enough content to fill it in

when it went from day to night the lighting would go from yellow to extreme blue instantly. it was very disorienting and just looked bad

once again faith builds got a million new incants and boss weapons and magic builds got shafted. most of the new spells weren't even useful

you get a bunch of little maps you can view in your inventory and i couldn't fucking see them because they were so small

npc quests seemed to be harder than typical to track and it matters more because of the gank squad fight. also had some reappear when I'd obviously missed a part of their quest and they acted like i hadn't which was confusing

wasn't a huge fan of the new leveling system. mostly because i found it confusing about how it affected base stats. also a lot of the fragments were behind bosses so you couldn't go level up if you were having trouble. and some were very hard to find. doesn't feel like leveling should depend on that

there were a couple mechanics used by multiple bosses that seemed to be there just to inflate difficulty but were annoying and took away from the fights. notable examples were getting charged at the fog gate (bonus that this creates camera hell), room wide multihit aoes that are damned near impossible to dodge, and so much vfx you can't see your screen. some attacks seemed to expect you to jump which is just obnoxious

commander gaius. worst boss ever. least favorite in the entire series. supposed to be mounted combat but he can one shot torrent and is faster than him. wonky hit box that make it almost impossible to dodge his charge. charges you right as you enter too. distance spell that forms right under you and seems impossible to dodge. does a million damage and gives you no time to heal. usually when i fight a boss i get an idea of how the fight is supposed to work, but i couldn't tell you with this one. felt rushed and untested

jori elder inquisitor. dungeon boss. spams holy spells the track you under your feet and can't be interrupted out of the cast. summons up to 5 ads over and over. dogshit fight

the 4-5 man gank squad of npcs. did we learn nothing from ds2? also had extreme camera issues in that arena that were responsible for 99% of my deaths

the last boss. i haven't beaten him yet because i was so Done after the gank squad and here we have a boss who has every single issue i had with previous bosses but worse and way too much hp. supposedly that's a little better if you don't use the npcs but the npcs were super story invested in the fights and have custom dialogue so ???? most people who have beaten him seem to be using very specialized tanky builds. everyone is anticipating a nerf and I'm kind of waiting since I'm not excited for this boss and don't want to bang my head against him now

also was a really weird choice for story. I'm on team why not godwyn? i didn't have much invested in miquella and I'd expected him to be about how he was but the radahn thing just came outta nowhere. the whole brothers thing is just what I'd expect from grrm so no surprise there, just rolling my eyes, dude is a one trick pony. i do wish they'd filled in a little more on some stuff like how did malenia fit into all this? and why was miquella hanging out in the shadowlands?

neutral thoughts:

messmer was so hyped in the trailers and then i killed him fairly early and he was just some dude? hilarious

i listed more bad than good but that's not unexpected and not a condemnation. usually there are a lot of broad things these games do very well and a bunch of super specific gripes. it's worlds better than ringed city (except that one had an excellent last boss and this one...did not). I'd give it maybe a 6/10

[movedtodykedvonte]

Not to be overbearing, I’m just really enjoying your Addicule stuff, but ‘he was the last to join’ has me really thinking about their origin. Who was the first to meet Spam and to introduce him to the others? First impressions?

I never find asks overbearing at all! Especially when it's about these goons.

I play with the ideas that it was like a group meeting and Spam was kinda of a desperate addison trying to participate in normal addison partnership socializing not realizing they were a polycule and them just individually wooing him as like a friendly little flirting game before openly just being like "we like you, join the firm".

Though I sometimes imagine if it was just one it was probably Audi as it is the most open about everything and would just be like "hey look what I found, isn't he cute <3". As for first impressions:

Banner & Spam: Banner thought Spamton was odd, to say the least (and to be nice). He had a certain charm in how he seemed to acknowledge what didn't work even if he still couldn't find out what did. Saw him as someone that needed a gentle nudge in the right direction and would get touchy at the idea someone else could be more qualified to do it besides them. Spam thought Banner was a bit of a snob until he watched the blue ad freeze up over small talk when his whole job was reviewing and speaking his mind. Once he realized Banner was socially clueless as he was business-wise he gained a soft spot.

Surv & Spam: Surv thought Spamton had spunk and drive and how Spam kinda reminded him of Banner due to their shared stubbornness and know it all demeanor (even if Spam was less patronizing). Spam was sort of intimidated as Surv was already a well-established addison before they met but soon realized he was just as much a blundering dummy as he was. I mean both are headstrong and don't think everything through so Spam saw him as another go-getter in a world that tells you to wait

Vidie & Spam: Vidie thought Spam was bold in an annoying way at first. Spam was too opinionated and like her, which you think would make them get along but Vidie was used to getting away with her smart comments and sass unmatched (Banner could only stay level-headed for so long). Spam thought Vidie was a hypocrite cause how can you bark but not take a bite back? I feel like they met eye to eye eventually when Vidie probably used his sass in Spam's defense and Spam actually admitted that he liked how headstrong she was despite how obnoxious it could be. After this, they became the cruder gossip couple between Banner, Vidie, and Spam.

Audi & Spam: Audi was enamored with Spam while Spam was really shy and embarrassed. Spam always roughed it as an addison so having someone so enthralled and concerned with him so quickly felt sketchy. Audi wanted to know everything he could about Spam and immediately wanted him to feel welcomed. Spam was scared Audi was playing some sort of long con like it was secretly the worst out of the bunch. When he realized Audi was alright I feel like the two just tried to out do each other in the mushy department. Audi being a natural and Spam playing up the role of a bumbling casanova. They are the cutest duo in my heart

The first impressions weren't that bad as no one came in expecting anything outside of the norm or tried to get off on the wrong foot. Of course, it wasn't love at first sight but it was an intense curiosity amongst every party member.

[maximumsunshine]

I think it's hilarious that the past few days every other post on my dash has been people talking about blaze (yay) and the more interesting posts getting blazed (mostly boo... y'all don't screen shot and talk about the innocuous ones). And all along I've been saying as soon as i could i would blaze a request for cat photos to help my serotonin levels, and my bestie made sure i could do just that. And last night around midnight i submitted a post for blaze and it was approved like 2 hours later in the dead of night (is it always that fast?) and suddenly my notes weren't just full of cat photos, but everyone who's gotten my post forced on their dash unanimously agrees I've achieved the correct use of blaze.

And this is true. Asking tumblr to send me cat photos and offering a couple cute photos of Ash in exchange, is indeed a correct use of blaze. I got more than 10$ worth of serotonin in the past 22 hours.

But truly. This is not the only correct way to use blaze. It's just a way that doesn't get you hate mail.

I've been on tumblr since the beginning. Truly the bringing in of blaze is the best form of pvp this site could come up with. And I'm thriving.

But let me be absolutely crystal clear on something. Those blaze posts you find obnoxious? They are still far less obnoxious than the actual ads on this site, like the manscaping one. You see the blaze post once, then it's gone as soon as you scroll past it. If you choose to interact? You can! But not even the catholic ones are really worth getting riled up about. They just aren't. Because each obnoxious post was someone giving tumblr 10$ to help keep the servers up and running and staff paid.

However annoying a blaze post is, you can just scroll past it and be done. Really. Unlike the real ads, the same blaze post isn't every 5th thing that crosses your dash. So beloveds, just scroll past and move on.

And well, if you want some cheap serotonin and to join the fun, and I assure you blaze posts are fun to make and spread if you're doing it right, you can do what I did and make 2500 people look at a photo of your cat. And if you even *hint* return photos of cats are welcome, well, you'll get them. And it's truly delightful!

And all of this keeps this site up and running. Because this place is becoming the good place, so really I for one want them to figure out how to make a profit.

Oh, and you can also block people about it. Lol. Like you can block the catholics and shit. Like, free block list.

Anyway, all that said, please add photos of your cats in a reblog of my pinned post? I cheered up my crying 10yo a few hours ago by having him scroll the notes on that post. So sincerely it's doing its job. Also, he was especially tickled by "momma! This one isn't even a cat! But i like it anyway!" every noncat that got added. So like, go wild. Show me any animal you got!