#wough.txt

[beetleemoji]

I'm sick of my body hurting I'm sick of my head hurting I don't want to feel like rot

I way too often feel like I need to lay down or I'll feel like I'm going to collapse

it's too frustrating to have so much shit I need to get done and never seem to get anything done or barely started and to constantly lose focus and get exhausted in my bones immediately after trying do things it's so suckass

and I need to clean my room and finish sorting my old stuff but it hurts so bad in like my spine behind my heart and the back of my head to stand and bend down and I let it get messy enough that a stool might just be more trouble than help and I think it stressing me out makes it harder to focus and it's like stress worsens the pain

it's randomly so hard in a way that hurts too much to draw or even play games fuck all life

and the fucking shaking AUGH my hands always shake but lately it's randomly so so so shakey between shaking and focus problems I'm always missing and correcting typos and I start to give up sometimes

forgetting to eat and struggling to focus enough to cook is soooo... like come on I need nutrients and energy ough please

but I can walk and even sometimes go for walks once I get going on it at least !!

today I fucked up though because I got too confident about carrying too many groceries and I thought I was doing okay until I was cooking and my hands started shaking so bad it was hard to cook and harder to eat because I couldn't hold my bowl 🙃

but still I got up and out and got food even some easier to eat foods 🐥