#worship is a natural part of his love language this is something you’ll have to accept

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

can’t ask cult!sugu for praise like a normal person he’ll drop down to his knees and worship you

[loganhowlettshousewife]

animal

chapter 6

friendly reminder that i am not a writer, i'm just a girl who loves logan howlett and wanted to write something exploring his animalistic side since i so rarely see it done. my first language is also not english, so please do not be rude when giving me any feedback.

warnings: swearing, smut, oral (fem!receiving), unprotected piv, my first time writing smut so i'm sorry if it's horrible

series masterlist │my masterlist

you’ve known three versions of logan so far. the feral, animalistic version of logan that seems to be at the core of who he is - without any memories, that’s the personality he reverted to, those were the actions he took when controlled only by his baser instincts. then there’s the version of logan you imagine he’s created over the years to deal with his pain, the one that drinks himself stupid and fights against his nature to make others more comfortable, terrified to hurt anyone, terrified that he’ll prove to everyone that he’s a monster.

this version of logan though, the one you see before you now, is as close as you’ve ever gotten to knowing the real him. a person's memories and experiences make them who they are, shape them as a person, and the same can be said for logan. but he’s no longer trying to hide what his mutation makes him, at least not as much as before. he’s not the innocent, loving man you’d brought into your home - you doubt you’ll ever get that exact version of logan back - but he expresses himself in a new way now.

he’s explained to you some of the conditions of his mutation, why he acts the way he does. it makes more sense to you now, why his face is always finding its way to your neck, pressed to the spot where your scent is the most pronounced, mixing your scent with his to mark you. it soothes him, to walk by you and recognise that even when he’s not at your side his presence clings to you.

it’s nice, watching him slowly let his guard down, opening up to you. you’re proud of him every time he mutters something about himself or his past to you, quickly and quietly as though he’s partially hoping you won't hear him.

“i love you,” he says, taking a break from kissing you to breathe the words into the shared air between you.

you smile back at him. the words are as easy as breathing. “i love you too.”

he kisses you again, loving and intimate, a hand going to your waist, gripping onto your flesh tightly as if you’ll vanish if he ever lets go. you’ll have bruises in the shapes of his fingers tomorrow, a reminder of his touch, of the way he worships your body. you part your lips for him, gasping lightly when his grip tightens, giving him free reign to explore your mouth with his tongue.

heat grows in your stomach, wetness flooding between your legs, insistent, and you grind down on his lap, feeling him growing hard underneath you. he’s big, you’ve seen him naked enough times to know, but it feels different with you pressed against him, much more imposing.

“need you,” he groans, fingers sliding under the elastic waistband of your sleep shorts, releasing it to watch it slap your skin. you gasp again and he chases the noise with his mouth, catching it on your lips.

he takes his time pulling your sleep shorts down your legs, reverently. there’s always a strange duality to intimacy with logan. he’s intense in everything he does, taking you apart multiple times a night, his gaze almost predatory as he explores your body. and yet he treats you like a queen, taking his time to make sure you feel good before he ever does anything for himself.

he spreads your legs open with his large hands, kneeling between your legs. he kisses up your thighs, so close to where you want him and you squirm.

“please, lo,” you beg, your hands in his hair.

he starts off slow, a consistent rhythm that has you begging for more, your moans growing breathier and louder until he can no longer control himself, eating you out like a man starved. his beard burns against your thighs, a delicious pain that only makes the pleasure more intense.

he adds one finger, the thick digit brushing against your walls, pressing against the spot inside you that makes you cry out. his fingers are bigger than your own, longer too, and he’s always much more effective at fingering you to an orgasm, able to give you what you need. he always knows what you need.

he adds a second finger, and that paired with the way his tongue drags against your clit, catching on the tip, has the pressure building inside you. 

your orgasm hits you like a wave, a slow crescendo and then you’re falling. you ride his face as you cum, using your grip on his hair to pull him closer to you, feeling his nose bump against your clit as you press your cunt against his mouth. you shudder as you come down from your high and logan pulls away, mouth and beard glistening with you.

he’s still nearly fully dressed, which you find absolutely unfair, so you pull his shirt off, tossing it aside, making quick work of removing the rest of his clothes until he’s gloriously naked. his cock is hard and proud, flushed and straining.

he needs you, and he tells you so, the words echoing between you, the sentiment going straight to your core.

you wrap a hand around his cock, stroking him a few times, running your thumb over the tip to collect the beads of precum and rub it down his shaft. he groans at the feeling, rutting into your hand. usually this is the part where you take him into your mouth, let him fuck your throat until you’re gagging around him and spit dribbles from your lips around his thick cock.

but you want something different today, you want more. you haven’t taken this step yet, you didn’t feel ready before, wanting to wait until you were at a point where your rocky, unlabeled relationship felt solid. now, you couldn’t imagine not being ready to share this step with him, to give him every piece of you, putting your life and your love in his hands and begging him to keep it, keep you.

“lay down,” you order him, letting go of his cock to shove lightly at his chest, not hard enough to actually move him - you’re definitely not strong enough for that - but he goes willingly, and you smile at how quickly he complies.

you’re not usually the one giving orders in the bedroom, but he’s always weak to your whims, regardless of how small or meaningless they might seem. he wants to make you happy, something he’s told you multiple times when you teased him about how willing he was to do anything you asked of him. you could easily make him submit to you in bed if you batted your eyelashes at him and asked nicely.

he watches you with dark, lustful eyes as you crawl over him, straddling his lap, grinding your leaking pussy against his hard cock. you both moan at the feeling of your wetness sliding against his length, at how ready you both are for this.

“i want you inside me,” you say.

“are you sure?” logan asks, breathless. he wants it, you can see how hard he’s fighting not to rut up into you, but he’s holding back. it makes you feel warm all over, the way he cares so deeply about you, never pushing your boundaries, never wanting to push for more than what you’ll allow. it makes you want him even more.

“i’m sure,” you affirm, “don’t think i’ve ever felt more ready for anything, actually.”

you line him up with your entrance and slowly sink down, feeling the stretch with every inch of him. you're thankful he stretched you out with his fingers, but you have to stop to breathe regardless when he’s halfway inside, the sound of your heavy breathing mixing with his own ragged pants as he fights to let you take the time you need.

finally you sink down onto him, a sigh escaping your lips when he’s fully sheathed inside you. you roll your hips to adjust to the feeling and logan growls, low in his throat. 

you lift yourself up halfway before sinking back down, a new rush of heat rolling over you when you hear the way logan groans. he holds onto your waist as you move, helping lift you so you don’t get too tired, but eventually you start to falter, unable to keep up the steady rhythm. you pout as your movements become slower, annoyed at yourself, but logan takes over the moment you can’t, rolling you over onto your back so he’s hovering above you.

you wince at the feeling of him slipping out of you, but as soon as he has you positioned on your back the way he wants you, he’s lining himself up with your hole again, fucking into you hard and fast.

“this okay?” he asks, though you doubt he needs the answer given how you’re whining and writhing underneath him.

his thrusts are relentless, a steady pace that he could probably keep up for days and days. he has wonderful stamina, something you’d learnt the first time you’d made him cum when his cock immediately hardened again in your hand, your eyes widening as you looked up at him. he’d shrugged and smirked as he explained he didn’t have much of a refractory period. “‘least not when i’m with someone as pretty as you,” he’d continued.

he’s using one hand to grope your breasts and the other sneaks down between your legs, rubbing circles over your clit. he’s hitting that perfect spot inside of you that has you seeing stars, and you can feel your second orgasm approaching, more intense than the first.

“fuck,” logan grunts, “y’feel so good, so tight.”

he looks wild, fucking into you like this, his eyes roaming over your body like a predator assessing his prey. you feel your stomach twist pleasantly at the thought. he keeps up his pace until you’re coming around him and even as you squeeze around him he doesn’t falter.

“logan!” you scream as he continues, overstimulation bordering on painful.

he grunts and growls, and you grip onto his shoulders, your nails digging into his arms. he moans loud when you accidentally draw blood from the intensity of the hold you have on him. you feel the blood welling against your fingertips and then the strange sensation of his skin stitching itself back together until it's smooth again under your touch.

“gonna breed you,” logan growls, and you babble incoherently in response. you’re not quite sure his words are even penetrating your mind. all you hear is the sound of his voice, the rough timbre of it. “gonna make you mine. my mate.”

“yes, yes logan, please, come inside me. need you!” his thrusts get more erratic as he gets closer to the edge, and then they falter for a moment and he’s coming. hot spurts painting your insides as he keeps fucking into you, shallow thrusts that push his cum deeper, closer to your womb.

he presses a kiss to your stomach, nuzzling his head into the soft flesh there. his breathing is as ragged as yours. you feel completely undone, your mind fuzzy and content, like you could stay right here forever and you’d be perfectly happy.

“that was amazing,” you say.

he looks worried now, eyes narrowing like he’s not quite sure he trusts you to be telling the truth, like what just happened wasn’t the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.

“you sure?” he asks, “that wasn’t too much?”

“no,” you smile, “i told you, i like when you act like an animal.”

you can feel his cock hardening again inside you, pressing against your walls. he moves his hips so you can feel it shifting with the change in position, at the perfect angle that he knows will make you scream. you watch his lips curl up, a dark smile that matches the darkness in his eyes as he stares at the way you’re trapped underneath him.

“do you?” he says, not a real question. you love when the feral side of him takes control, and you’re watching it happen now, can read what he wants from the look in his eyes.

yeah, you’re in for a long night. and you couldn’t think of anything better.

“you called me your mate,” you comment much later, feeling sated and boneless with your head resting on logan’s solid chest, feeling it rise and fall along with the steady pace of his breathing.

logan hesitates for a long moment. you can feel him tense underneath you, his muscles freezing in place, the smallest hitch in his breath that you wouldn’t have noticed if not for your close proximity. you don’t mind waiting for him to cycle through his thoughts, the words caught in his throat, seconds ticking by in comfortable silence until his frame relaxes once more and he pulls you in closer.

“i did,” is his only reply. short, succinct, waiting expectantly for your response, your reaction to a term that is distinctly animal-like. it’s also the first time he’s put any sort of label on your relationship, other than calling you “mine”, possessively whispering the word in your ear as if you’ll forget if he doesn’t remind you.

“what does that mean for us?” you ask, tracing patterns on his skin, forming each letter of your name with your index finger, “we’ve never actually said what we are, you know. and i can’t say i know the ‘human’ equivalent of the term mate. does this mean you’re my boyfriend? something else?”

“that’s a childish term,” logan says, lines forming between his brows as he frowns.

you smile, leaning in to kiss away the tension there, feeling the slight sheen of sweat that had formed over his skin while he fucked you, not quite dry yet. you should be getting up to shower, rinsing away the salty layer of sweat from your activities, throwing the ruined bedsheets into the laundry to be replaced by clean ones.

but you’re comfortable where you are now, avoiding the mess you’d made of the sheets by curling up on the other side of the bed, wishing you could push up closer to logan despite the fact that you’re already as close as humanly possible. if only you could crawl into his skin, break past his ribs and settle there, protected where no one else could ever reach you, tucked right against his heart.

“what would you want me to call you then?” you ask.

“for now, nothing,” logan says. in his eyes you see a battle, words and thoughts that you wish you could read, that you hope he’ll one day say aloud. “there isn’t a word that’s enough to describe this. one day i’ll be your husband, but until then, just say you’re mine. my girl.”

“are you proposing to me?” you laugh, eyes bright and smile pulling at your cheeks in a way that’s nearly painful.

“no,” he grunts, “when i propose to you it’ll be much better than this.”

and what else can you do but fall into him? your heart feels like it might burst from the warmth that fills you, threatening to spill out from every cell in your body, too much for anyone to properly handle. it’s on your hands when you use them to hold him down, swinging your leg over his lap so you’re straddled atop of him, kissing him in the hopes that it’s enough to express what words will never be enough to express.

he meets you in the middle, mouth hot and demanding. you’ve never felt more wanted, never felt more loved, like you could take on any struggle the universe may throw at you and be fine because logan’s by your side, always there to catch you. you read the promise on his lips, and the word forever is unspoken but you both hear it anyway.

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[allandoflimbo]

I C E     P R I N C E S S  ∙ 3

Pairings: Popular Girl!Reader x Outkast!Bucky

Explicit Content - Smut - NO MINORS

Summary:

Bucky Barnes is the quiet boy who gets picked on.

The Reader and her friends run with the popular crowd at Stark High.

As the Winter Ball approaches, she is partnered with Bucky Barnes for a class project. They grow close in an inadvertently secret friendship, which later turns into love.

Only catch is…she’s Steve Roger’s ex girlfriend, and before she was partnered up with Bucky, her friends had planned to use and turn Bucky into Stark High’s new it boy to try and get back at Steve; a disgusting bet.

Another catch: She’s a figure skater at the town’s arena every Tuesday and Thursday nights. Bucky works part time at the rink resurfacing the ice. The other doesn’t know.

Modern AU High School fic - later goes into adulthood.

M A S T E R P A G E - FULL SERIES

Warnings: This story will have a lot of angst, a lot of fluff, a lot of cursing, and a lot of sex. Oral, praise kink, body worship, overstimulation, etc. you know me. There will also be loss of virginity in this.

Please support your content creators and writers and leave a review.

P R E V I O U S   C H A P T E R

The chatter in the room is loud.

It mixed with the sounds of chairs and desks grinding over the floor. Everyone was moving their own to their appropriate spots.

Mrs. Ortiz' voice was even louder. She was lucky if anyone was even really listening to her in the first place.

"Now, this assignment is focused on Psychology analyzing. If you look down, you'll see it's based off a book called Rules by John Will-Brooks. You and your partner will each read every other chapter, taking turns. Each chapter will focus on a type of psychological analysis, and at the end, you will write the information you gather about the person using the questionnaire provided at the end. You'll use that to answer what you gather about the other person. Of course, you're not real Psychologists, so you'll be given a certain answer and script for each one. These are based on real dialogue, real cases. This assignment will last about two months."

You moved anxiously in your seat, crossing your legs at the ankles.

"Hannah, you are with Sasha. Eloise, you are with Daniella. Cameron, you're with Ethan. Eric, you are with Michaela," next she said your name, "you are with James, Jasmin, you're with Chris..." Mrs. Ortiz' voice faded out as your eyes went to James.

It was expected just as much as it wasn't. Irony, they call it.

He sat there in his seat, focused at looking through the new textbook on his desk. He showed no distinctive reaction to Mrs. Ortiz' words and you wondered if he had even heard her.

You still felt terrible about what happened yesterday, but nonetheless, this would be a great opportunity to make amends.

Daniella, that sat next to James, got up to move next to her partner.

You tried to read his body language as he barely lifted his eyes from the pages.

He kept his eyes straight down at his book, gaze completely focused.

He moved onto writing something in his notebook.

It was obvious he wasn't going to be making the first move to sit next to you, and that's what you realize he's doing.

He hated this.

You don't blame him at all for being upset with you.

With a deep breath, you gather your book and notebook in your arms and make your way over to him.

You paused as soon as you arrive by his side. He doesn't look up from his notebook, knowing very well that you were standing there.

His jaw was tense. You hadn't noticed that from afar.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Even if you wanted to make amends, he clearly did not like you. Especially so soon after you destroyed his Nikes.

Then, he surprises you.

He stops for a second, finally looks at you, and then looks down at the empty chair next to him.

An invitation.

You take that as your cue and you sit.

You swear you can smell lemons and a subtle, but very nice, waft of cologne the moment you sit down.

Despite him looking naturally kind and approachable, you felt uncomfortable.

You timidly set everything down in front of you. You even begin tp tilt your items on the desk into perfect ninety degree angles; not because of your OCD, but because it gave you something to do for about three seconds.

When that's painfully over, you look over at him again.

He didn't even bother glancing up this time. Unsurprisingly.

Should you put yours desks together?

Was he going to be silent the whole time?

You both sit there for a few minutes, wondering if he's thinking the same thing as you:

Who will be the first to speak?

He continues to take his notes and you open your book to review the first lesson.

You take a deep breath and go for it, shifting once more in your seat for good measure. You even scoot up a bit.

"Did you want to do the even numbered chapters and I do the odds?" You ask after a deep breath.

He stops writing and finally sits back in his seat, letting his pen drop.

His movement makes him look taller and you look away bashfully.

You never were so close to him before. You can't help but notice how similarly built he is to Steve. Sometimes it felt like Steve towered over you.

They were definitely the same height; six feet or so.

James was just a little more lean and toned where Steve was bulky. It was obvious how attractive James was. Where Steve had lighter hair, James' was a deep brown, almost black. Where Steve's eyes were blue with specs of green, James' were only blue. Almost grey. Like the sky before a bad blizzard on a cold evening.

Like that night.

The way he sits back like that, now looking at you and waiting, has you on edge.

You don't realize you're staring until you meet eyes and you quickly look away.

He hands you the blue folder with the name "Phycologist #2" written on it.

You take it, reading it over.

He was okay with you doing the odds.

A lump crawls up your throat as you remember what happened yesterday. You grow this deep need to console him, to apologize profusely.

"So, we need to answer these questions first together. And then we'll read each chapter assigned to us, and do the quiz questions after each read to make sure we understood what we read. Is that good for you?" You ask.

He's not looking at you anymore.

He gives you a short nod, almost disinterested.

He's back to fidgeting with his black pen in his right hand.

You tried to ignore that glare in his eyes, the one that said he clearly did not want to be here next to you right now.

As if you already didn't know.

"Uhm. Okay, first question. A long-standing debate in the field of psychology has been whether moving to a new location makes people happier. Do you think this can apply to people who are looking just for change so it's a change in psych or do you think it happens for everyone? Personally I think it happens for everyone."

He doesn't answer you right away. In fact, he takes so long to reply that you start writing down your own answer quietly.

"I think so, too. Especially if it's a stark difference of culture."

It's the first time you've heard him, and at this close proximity, it made the hair on the back of your neck prickle.

His voice.

Like deep and thick honey being poured over a damn Lindt chocolate.

Your movements falter just slightly against your paper, and you blink slowly.

You couldn't help the small smile that grows at the side of your lips.

"Exactly." You say, "it's about the impact and also picking up on the different kinds of life. Like I mean for you, you just came from Europe, right? So this must be so different for you here. This kind of life." It's interesting the way you watch his face go from interested to pure utter confusion.

"Europe?" His voice is a low rumble as he says it. You can't sense his tone. It was a mix between scorn and sincerity.

You raise a brow at him and then look down at his book.

"Yeah, aren't you—?"

He looks at you for a second longer, to the point where you debate if he's trying to have an eye contest with you, and then he looks away with an almost roll of his eyes.

He can't help the scoff that leaves his lips.

"Jeez." He runs a hand through his hair, nearly pulling at the strands.

You watch as his arm flexes through the dark fabric of his shirt.

You shake your head and place your own arm down on the paper in front of you.

"I don't understand?"

You hope he can see how sincere you were.

"Yeah, maybe don't try then." He snaps back. His eyes finally flicker back to you, the disdain in his eyes so visible it makes you recoil, "Please.

Your mouth opens and closes, unsure of what to respond with.

Judging by his tone and energy behind it, he was holding most of his negative feelings in. It catches you off guard for just a bit.

You hated this. You hated that he assumed something that isn't true about the kind of person you are. You hated that everything that kept happening was proving the exact opposite. You hated that he had been bullied and you didn't even know.

You know you've been oblivious in the past, but you never once saw anyone being rude to him before. This week was the first time.

"I didn't mean to drop that paint on you," you say, your voice lowering, "I'm truly sorry about that." He scoffs again, "I am! I was actually on my way here to apologize for what you overheard on Monday. I'm very sorry."

He doesn't say anything but his eyes do stay on his paper, unshifting.

You know why he's upset. You do.

You're not dense.

The last few months opened your eyes. It was a sharp wake up call to realizing who you were and who the people around you were. You hope you can convey that with the next few words you're about to say.

"Look, Matt Murdock is an asshole. But I'm not like that."

The roll of his eyes and the snarl on his lips is palpable.

You feel your teeth clench at his reaction, and this time, your eyes are the ones that go hard and cold.

This boy, just like everyone, knew nothing. But the truth was, you didn't know him either.

This was a game of tug-o-war, and in the middle was a big metaphorical puddle of shame waiting for one of you to fall in.

The silence that follows after his comment settles between the both of you like a heavy blanket.

"We're done here." He says, closing his notebook.

You're surprised at his quick departure. There was no possible way he would just leave. Right? You still had two months of this.

"We still have to go over this chapter—"

He's already standing up, grabbing his backpack and his things off his desk.

"I'm leaving early." He says, eyes darting to the door. It's then that you see another teacher there waiting for him. He eventually sighs and gives you another glance as he shoves his book into his backpack, "I can't fail this assignment. We can continue this tomorrow." You raise a brow at him as he stops and looks at you for another hard second. Then, his eyes look away for a bit, as if he's realizing something. You're wondering what he's thinking, but you don't have to wonder much longer, "I actually won't be here tomorrow."

"Oh," your eyes drop as you think, "Maybe we can meet up somewhere after school? Maybe you can come over? Or I'll go to your place. That's all I can think of. That or we can wait until Thursday."

You weren't tone deaf, but damn were you insistent of making right.

You can see on his face how much he hates this. If this were some kind of mystical novel and the author was describing this exact moment, right here and now, they'd say his dislike for all of this was as palpable as a lonesome revengeful Viking holding a box of venomous cobras over his enemies' body.

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek.

He really needed this A. Was this worth it? If he wanted to keep his GPA at the high percentile, he needed this bad. He didn't know if he trusted you enough to wait until two days from now, when the second lesson was due by then.

He hated everything about this.

Your place or his?

He never thought he'd even have to ask such a question when it came to you and him.

He almost laughs.

He looked at the teacher that was waiting for him at the door and his eyes drift back down to you in your seat.

You and your friends already took all his dignity at this school. He wasn't going to let you do it in his own home.

"I'll come over." He says.

As soon as Bucky parks his car, he turns to his mom.

"How are you feeling? Nervous?" He asks kindly.

She smiles at him.

"A bit. But I'm also a little excited."

Bucky looks away and nods.

"You're high up."

"I might finally get that lung transplant." She says, running her thumb over her son's cheek. She holds her nebulizer bag closer to her lap, "We should be excited, honey."

He smiles sweetly at her.

He was anxious to see how her appointment would go. Based off his own personal research, she was a perfect candidate for a lung transplant, but he was afraid this was too good to be true.

"I am." He pats the middle console, "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

He gets out and walks over to the passenger side. He helps her step out his car, closing the door behind her.

He makes sure to keep his one arm stilling linked with hers.

She uses him for support as she stands, her right hand going into the crook of his elbow, holding him there.

"I'm going to need you to run to the store for me tonight. I wanted to make some lasagna for dinner. What do you think?" She asks as they walk to the entrance of the medical facility.

He opens the door for her as they walk into the chilly air.

"I think it sounds great," his face falls, "Shoot."

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot I'm supposed to study at someone's house." He shakes his head. Family always came first, "I can still go. I'll make arrangements."

"Oh, that's alright. I'll have your dad stop by."

Bucky felt his heart shatter, knowing his dad already had too much to worry about tonight. He was also getting older.

"It's fine, I'll let her know I can't make it. You're more important."

He didn't even have your number, so he's not sure how that plan would even work out.

"Absolutely not. You're going to go." Bucky opens his mouth to retaliate but she stops him, "You're going. End of discussion." He closes his mouth and nods, continue to walk her to the reception desk.

They walk a little more and he waits for the inevitable question.

"So it's a girl study partner?"

He could feel a tingle up his back at the thought of seeing you that way. Revolt and hate. That's the kind of feelings a person like you deserved.

"Trust me, mom. She's not a nice person. I just want this A. Only reason I'm doing this."

A warm chuckle leaves her lips.

"Oh, she can't be that bad."

"She is. She's bad company and so are her friends. I'm going there just for the lesson and then I'm going straight home."

You're drying your hands with a paper towel near the sink when you hear a knock at the front door.

You curse to yourself as you grab your phone and quickly look at the clock.

You completely lost track of time trying to help prepare dinner for your parents.

They were both physicians in two different ERs, so they usually weren't home on Wednesdays until after seven PM. Morning shift.

That meant that tonight you had to help with dinner for when they came home. Usually when they had the graveyard shifts, they'd have something ready on the stove before they left. Out of kindness of their hearts.

Even though you didn't think it was necessary for them to do that every time, especially when you had more than the reason to help them out, you clung onto it. Mainly because it was one of the last remaining things that happened here at home that made it feel like it was still that; home.

You go through your foyer and open the door.

James stood there in a black jacket and dark jeans. He held his book in one arm and his other hand was running through his hair. He looked like he didn't want to be here at all.

He still wasn't even trying to hide it.

You don't let that discourage you.

"Hey," you give him a small smile, "Come on in." You step aside for him to walk in.

The second he steps foot into your house the awkward tension is already there.

You close the door quietly behind him.

You watch as he looks around. The last thing you wanted was for him to be uncomfortable.

You home was dimly lit, the only light on was a lamp in the living room and a soft light over the island in the kitchen.

He notices how homey it feels in here. He also notices all the family photos, especially the ones near the stairs at the front.

"My parents won't be home for another hour or so." You tell him, "Can I take your jacket?"

His eyes flicker over to you immediately.

"No, it's okay." He mumbles, stuffing his left hand into its pocket.

You nod and look away.

You tell him he can leave his shoes at the door and then you point to the dark wooden stairs.

His shoes he actually does remove, leaving him in black socks.

"We can actually go up to my room. Just be careful with these steps. They can get slippy."

He trails behind you and follows you into your room.

You sense his hesitancy to come in all the way as he takes a quick scan.

Your room was nice, he wouldn't deny that.

He notices a few books on your desk and some on a book shelf; mostly fiction. Against your wall on the floor was a pair of white ice skates.

You walk over to your desk and grab your book and notebook.

On your desk was a picture of you and another guy hugging, maybe a few years older than you.

He was placing a kiss on the top of your head.

"You can take a seat." You motion blindly towards your bed nonchalantly, looking for something in your desk drawer.

James makes his way to your bed. It's white and fluffy and still made; pristine.

You finally turn around to face him, and he looks down at your hand. You had been looking for a highlighter.

Classic Yellow.

He doesn't know why his nerves are on high end right now. He doesn't know why he's so nervous about being in a Stark High's princess' bedroom. What he does know is how annoyed he is by your complete oblivion to how incredibly cruel and mean you are and don't realize it. He can't even put into words how much it pisses him off to see you treating him like you or your friends never did the things you did.

You really did all live in your little world with your little perfect lives.

He's seen it for years and he saw it looking at the photos downstairs and now your room. Happy photos everywhere, trophies and metals. For what, he doesn't care.

He's brought back to now when the bed dips down with your weight.

You open your book.

"Alright, do you want to read the first lesson? And then I'll do the questionnaire at the end and we can go from there? Same for lesson two?"

He clears his throat and pulls out his notebook and book.

"Sure."

The behavior is mechanical for the next twenty minutes.

He talks, you respond. He asks, you respond. You ask, he answers.

He watches you as you read everything correctly and answer everything correctly. You were clearly very smart and seemed to take your academics seriously. The fact that you were both able to set your tension aside to focus on your school said a lot about the both of you.

Yeah, he knew what it said.

It said that you were both trying goddamn hard to avoid the huge elephant in the room.

"So that was the last question." You say, writing down your notes in your notebook, "We're covered for tomorrow and Friday." You look up when he doesn't respond, but you see him writing, too.

When he finishes he slides his pen into the spine of his notebook and closes his text book. He starts to pack, getting ready to leave.

You clear your throat.

"Bucky," the second you say his nickname his head snaps up, confused, "I saw it on your notebook." You don't know what look he's giving you but whatever that look is, it makes you feel not too great. He stares at you for a second longer before taking a deep breath and moving off from your bed. His jaw is tense.

He huffs from his nose and looks at you once more. You stand up until you're standing in front of him. You had to tilt your head a bit up.

Definitely Steve's height.

He gives you a cold stare that nearly chills you.

"I should go." He whispers out, eyes on your floor.

You tug on the sleeves of your shirt, debating on how you should stop him, but your words get stuck in your mouth.

You're at lost for what to say as he leaves your room abruptly, leaving you standing there, open text book still on the bed.

N E X T   C H A P T E R

Tag list: @dinoswierdmom @sebsgirl71479 @wintasssoldier @melimelbean​ @steadygoopangelhairdo​ @prettywhenicry4​ @bonkybarnes106​ @undeadhoneydew​ @midnightvitality​ @ene-rene​ @ccmarvelxx​ @hanahkatexo @gr33nleo​ 

[bloomyagi]

bleed me dry (m)

summary: where Itadori is your bottom-loving boyfriend and Sukuna reluctantly learns this vessel is the real curse. or: where seduction is a dangerous game, and the King of Curses loses.

pairings: itadori x f!reader, sukuna x f!reader

warnings: subby itadori, sub sukuna (yeah you read that right), light bondage, blindfolds, sukuna’s havin a whole ‘reconsidering life’s meaning’ moment, lotta swear cause u know sukuna things, coming untouched, he faints (yeah you also read that right) and is actually unabashed about it, all things considered

length: 1,432

notes: what? me? obsessed with jjk? that doesn’t sound like me at all! 

.

.

.

His vessel is in love.

The word curdles in his mouth, tastes like ash. He has never known such a thing. It is part of his nature, he muses absently. Hardened from centuries of death and decay. Of destruction and war. He revels in it. Feels the most alive amongst the chaos.

But that’s the point. Curses can feel. They can have emotional attachment. Can’t you see? In so many ways, they’re not so different from us. He thinks you’re too loud. Your thoughts and beliefs are too loud. They’re also pointless and naïve, and he likes to pop by just to drive it home.

Hello, Sukuna. Where is the fear? Where is the resentment, the anger? The disgust? He enjoys it. But you—you just sit there and coax him into conversation like he’s another one of your classmates. Like he can’t crush your windpipe with a single flick of his hand. Like he isn’t the slow bleed of a death sentence for your lover. Like he isn’t anything at all. Like his titles and powers are stripped. What is he beyond it all? Who is he?

You ask about him sometimes. He rarely gives any indication he’s listening, but he does. Of course he does. There’s not much to do, bound and locked in this pink-haired boy. He lounges on this throne and watches his vessel pine and blush.

Sukuna watches his vessel fuck his fist and mewl your name every night.

It’s sad. “Brat,” he hisses. “Grow some balls. This is just pathetic.”

Itadori swallows. “Oh. Can you—?”

Sukuna shoves him off the ledge. A faint yelp travels, followed by a large splash. “Fuck her already. All this sitting and plotting is making my ass itch. If you won’t, I will.”

“You wouldn’t.” Sukuna tilts his head to peer down. Itadori’s eyes are narrowed, uncharacteristically solemn.

His lips bare into a slow grin. “Try me.”

Itadori blinks once. And then vanishes.

.

.

.

Fuck. It’s the only coherent thought his muddled mind can pierce together. He gazes down at his palm, opening and closing languidly. His vision is blurry, spine tingling. He raises the other hand, reaching for his palm.

Mmm. He shakes his head firmly. The sharp tinge of metallic and iron coating his tongue clears the fog a little. The pain fades quickly, muted from his years of conquest and ruin.

Every nerve is on fire. His skin, this flesh cage, burns, an unfamiliar heat curling in his lower stomach. Sukuna is no stranger to the pleasures of the flesh—is well-acquainted, spent much of the centuries indulging in his vast harems. In the haze of blood and carnage, there is the memory of writhing bodies, of soft thighs and breasts, of glazed eyes and cries of his name. Of women fucked into wanton abandon, bred and lost in the worship of his cock.

But this. This heat is foreign in every sense. In its strange intensity and all-encompassing hold. All his senses are heightened but laser focused on the other pair of hands mapping his body. On the addicting sensations they’re inducing.

Can you—? Yes. Yes, he fucking can. He can feel everything and he wants to wrap his hand around your throat and squeeze.

His eyes roll back. Ngh.

“Fucking wench,” he snarls. You’re a fuckin’ tease and if you edge him again, he is going to murder—

“Ah, ah. Watch your language, Sukuna. Ask nicely.”

He jolts. Finds his eyes cloaked in darkness, arms tied to his back and legs spread. Bare, save for a pair of briefs that’s slick and restricting. Kneeling. The sheets bunch beneath him. Every muscle in his body is tensed, body coated in a thin layer of sweat.

This position—!

“That brat—mmph!” Is that a fucking—gag? Did you just gag him? He struggles harder against the binds, but he feels your lips curl into a smile where you’re suckling against the column of his neck.

“You’re powerless here. The binds will restrict you for the next twenty-four hours … unless you can be good.” You trace the thick knots, smiling only growing at the way he lets out a muffled growl.

Every fucking sense is heightened tenfold. He’s on firefirefire. The flames consuming him inside out, like he’s being exorcised from within.  

It’s humiliating. It’s exhilarating. It feels—

“King of Curses. I want you to beg.” You’re a witch. You’re enthralling. Temptation incarnate. His head falls forward, chest heaving.

“Mmmmf!”

“What a dirty mouth,” you murmur, and his struggling is renewed when he feels your fingers dig into his thighs.

Oi, brat, he growls. What the hell is this?

His vessel is silent, but the back of his mind prickles. He’s watching. That freaky little shit.

“So stubborn. Let go. You’re good at that, aren’t you?” Fuckfuckfuck, you’re palming his cock over the thin fabric. Maybe it’s been a while, maybe there’s a little more truth lurking beneath it, but he vaguely notes he’s never been so hard before.

You—! You’re fuckin’ burning his briefs off. Ash tickles his nose. A small part of him thinks it’s hot. His cock throbs, and even without visual confirmation, he knows you’ve paused at the sheer size. His mouth curls into a lopsided smirk, dark pride making his chest swell. What was he so worked up for? You’ll just end being another one of his breeding bitches, fucked stupid by his thick, long cock.

But then you pinch his left nipple, twisting harshly. Electricity courses through him and a sound he’s never heard in his absurdly long life escape his lips, muffled by the gag. His back arcs, head hitting the mattress beneath him.

His mind blanks, eyes rolling back as white noise fills his ears.

.

.

.

He rouses slowly.

He blinks lethargically at the ceiling, gaze unfocused. Everything feels muted, limbs heavy like he’s swimming in a pool of ink. But he’s not restrained anymore. There’s a blur of movement in the corner of his eye.

He turns his head to peer at you, half-lidded.

“That’s a very nice expression,” you chuckle, moving to sit by his side. The mattress dips lightly. He lifts a hand to tug at the hem of your outfit, expression twisting at the staggering movement.

“That’s a very nice look on you,” he murmurs in response. You’re wearing one of his vessel’s dress shirts, the oversized fabric falling mid-thigh. It simultaneously swallows you and presses against your curves. Something inside him stirs. His throat feels shot, even though he knows he hasn’t had much of a chance to speak.

You help him sit up, propped against the headrest, before offering him a glass of water. His lips lift into a half-smirk and you sigh, shaking your head but acquiescing. You take a mouthful before kissing him. Water dribbles down his chin.

You wipe it away with a half-fond, half-exasperated expression. His chest tightens.

“How long—?” He tries to move, but you stop him with a firm hand. He’s conflicted at the way his body responds immediately to the touch. His temperature flares despite his obvious fatigue.

“A few hours. I asked if Yuuji would keep you out until you woke.”

There’s a pause, and the knowing look in your eye tells him you know he’s mulling it over.

And then—

He reaches for you, and you set the glass aside to climb on his lap.

He bares his fangs. “Then let’s make the most of it.”

As you press him into the bed, tongue stroking his in such a manner his brain is starting to haze over again quickly, he thinks, brat, we’re going to have a long talk after this.

Sukuna doesn’t expect an answer after his vessel’s continued vigil, so he starts when Itadori replies, she’s ours.

I don’t share, he slurs. He thinks he sees a flicker of Itadori’s grin.

You’re going to have to. Because you like her, too. And she’s the one in control, not either of us.

Dimly, Sukuna acknowledges he’s right. You might be the one bouncing on his cock, but he’s not the one fucking you, you’re the one fucking him.

Fine, he gasps as you run your nails down his abdomen. Deal.

Good, his vessel says. Because I’m next, and you better not get in the way.

He growls, eyebrows knitting.

Your smile only grows.

[unwrittenlibrary]

all this devotion is rushing out of me

summary // Bucky Barnes is beautiful. No ifs, ands or buts. But there was something exceptionally beautiful about him that you were desperate to see. (bucky x fem!reader)

or; bucky barnes blushing is reader’s kryptonite and all she wants is to see it.

words // 2.0K

warnings // (hi there is a brief brief allusion to a breeding kink in this but i don’t write smut so it’s nothing graphic) mentions of pregnancy & sex 

notes // my second b.b fic also originally posted on my ao3 happy reading! i have more in the works! 

Bucky Barnes is beautiful. There’s no doubt about that in your mind.

From his newly cropped hair to the smile lines forming around his eyes. Down to the stunning metal arm and god his thighs.

Bucky Barnes is beautiful.

But your favorite part, the thing of his that you find most beautiful, are his flushed cheeks and embarrassed smiles.

The way he turns red from the tip of his ears to the apple of his cheeks and turns his eyes away with a small, embarrassed smile always makes your stomach flutter. It was so beautiful and rare that when it did happen, you just wanted to bring it back.

So while visiting Sam and Sarah, Mission Blushing Barnes, was born in your mind. You didn’t really want to embarrass him, far from it, so you knew you didn’t want to do anything in front of Sam or any of Sam’s family. But, fuck, watching him play with the boys and make himself at home with the Wilson’s had something growing in your chest.

And you wanted to see him blush. If only to end the day on a high note. So you waited and waited. Until finally, it was you and him sitting on the edge of the dock talking about nothing.

“Louisiana’s nice, isn’t it?” He asks quietly as he watches the sun set. You nod but don’t respond, too busy admiring his side profile.

The slope of his nose and outline of his lips has your mind jumping for joy that he’s yours. That he’s the man you get to wake up to and comfort. You smile when he turns to look at you, bemused by your silence. “What’s up, doll?”

You reach out to place a hand on his cheek. “Just admiring you. So pretty.” You keep your eyes focused on his face, expecting a blush at the term pretty instead of handsome. All that comes though is a snort. You drop your hand with a frown.

Bucky rests a hand on your waist and drags you closer to him. “Gotta do better than that, doll. You’ve been calling me pretty for months now. I’m used to it.”

You open your mouth in faux shock. “I have no idea what you mean.” You say in a pitched voice as you rest your head against his shoulder.

Bucky shakes with laughter. “I know you like making me blush. Gives you some sick power high.” He mumbles the words into your hair as he gives you a kiss.

You smile. You know there’s no menace behind his words. You can tell from his relaxed body language and quiet tone of voice your little mission doesn’t bother him all that much.

“Is that a challenge, Sergeant Barnes?” You glance up and Bucky looks down at you exasperated. For a moment, you think the red will appear and you’ll have won a bet before it’s even begun. But…

A smirk slides onto his face, something cocky and bright, that makes your stomach clench excitedly. “Calling me sergeant outside the bedroom isn’t gonna make me blush, sweetheart.”

You laugh softly and Bucky presses another kiss to your hair. “What do I win if you can’t make me blush by the end of the night?” He asks after a moment of silence.

You purse your lips and think for a moment. “What do you want?” You ask when nothing comes to mind. “Because I know when I win, you’ll be worshipping me.”

“I do that anyways.” He says immediately, making you laugh.

“I mean… I’ll be in charge.” You clarify with a raised eyebrow. Bucky bites down his lip to stop a smile and you hope that the blush appears just from the mention of you taking over for the night.

He shakes his head. “And if I win, you wear that suit Sam made you.” You watch as his eyes flicker over you body, definitely imagining the skin tight suit Sam had made as a joke after your complaints of how fictional heroes dressed. You had laughed and Sam had given you the real suit moments later, the skin tight suit had been stuffed into your closet and all but completely forgotten. 

“Sounds like a bet to me.” You pull back from his shoulder and hold your pinky out. “How about it, Barnes?”

Bucky leans down so his forehead rests against yours and with a wide smile he interlocks your pinky with his. “You’re on, sweetheart.”

The two of you just look at each other for a moment, until Sam’s voice breaks the comfortable silence. “Hey, weirdos! Come on, Sarah’s pulling out dessert!”

You scrunch your nose before hopping up. You don’t bother to pull Bucky with you, knowing his strength alone would probably end up sending you into the water. “Come on, baby, maybe we can steal some whip cream.” You wink as you walk backwards.

Bucky only laughs loudly and follows you. He reaches a hand out to stop you from walking off the dock and forces you spin around. “Strike one.” He whispers into your ear before running ahead of you to meet Sam.

You roll your eyes. Strikes weren’t a part of the bet and he knew it. He just wanted to psych you out. But you knew you could get that man to blush, you just had to find new material.

And you tried.

Leaning over when Sarah handed the ice cream and whispering as quietly as possible so only he could hear. “Forget the whip cream, ice cream might be a better bet.” Bucky looked down and shook his head before taking a bite of your chocolate.

Running your hand down his metal arm as you walked back to the Wilson’s. “Wonder what this arm could do to me.” Bucky had just looked down at you disappointedly. “You already know.” He hadn’t turned red, but you felt a little hotter.

You had even brought up the idea of sneaking in some adult time after the house was asleep. That had just gotten you a shocked stare as he pointed out the kids who slept upstairs.

It was getting late and you were getting desperate. It’s not that you really cared if you won or not, you know if there was something you truly wanted to try that Bucky wanted to as well, you would. You didn’t even mind the idea of wearing the suit for Bucky. The thought of wearing it even if you won had crossed your mind. You really just wanted to see his pretty face all red.

Then, the perfect thing happened. The kids were excited to mess around with Sam and Bucky. Both men were equally as excited to show off the shield and metal arm.

You hadn’t even started watching to find something to make Bucky blush, his bright smile and excited laughter as he and Sam pretended to fall to the boys power is what made you think.

Bucky wanted his own family. You knew for awhile Steve had been part of his family and when he come out of HYDRA, Steve was all that was left of it. He had you and he had the Wilson’s. But the two of you had spoken at length about your future and plans for your own family together. He was going on less and less missions and you had a steady job, so starting a family now made sense.

And you knew how you could bring it up and make him blush. It was an obvious win-win situation. 

“Buck!” You call out. His attention is immediately turned on you as he stands up straight and finds your eyes. You wave him over and laugh as the boys tease him about being in trouble.

You’re standing on the back stairs and end up being a step above him when he comes to a stop in front of you. His hands come to rest on your waist naturally as he looks up at you.

“What’s up, doll? Not in trouble, right?” He smirks and takes a step closer.

This time, you match his smirk with your own. You rest a hand on his shoulder and one on the back of his neck. “Not at all, Buck. Just wanted to tell you something.”

“Oh yeah?” He laughs gently. “You panicking? Cause I’m gonna win this bet?”

You hum in response and bend so you’re at eye level with him. “Was just thinking of how good you look with kids. I think you’ll make a great dad one day.”

The cockiness is wiped from Bucky’s face and replaced with a look much softer. “You think?” He asks quietly.

You nod excitedly. “Of course. I think you’ll make an amazing dad. I can’t wait to start a family with you.” You take a step down, so now you have to look up at Bucky. His eyes follow you happily. “In fact, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

You pause and Bucky furrows his eyebrows. You can tell he’s a little confused on where you’re going and that now he’s not even thinking about your silly little bet. Then you smile. “All I’ve been thinking about all day is you putting a baby in me, Bucky Barnes. I want it so bad.” You say the words softly as you flutter your lashes and smile alluringly.

Bucky’s eyes widen and he takes a shocked step back before looking down at you. Then you see it, starting from the tips of his ears and spreading over his cheeks. Bucky Barnes turns redder than you’ve ever seen.

“You…” He stutters as he looks around, like he wants to make sure that nobody heard the words that have just come out of your mouth. “Evil woman.”

You take a step forward to press a kiss to his lips. You can tell by his embarrassed smile that he can feel the flush on his cheeks. “Guess I get to be in charge when we get home.” You take a step back and turn to head back inside.

You feel a hand grip your own and look back at him. “Are you serious? About wanting a baby?” He asks almost shyly, like he’s worried the answer might be no.

You can’t even allow him to entertain possibility. You nod quickly and excitedly. “Of course I was, my love. I wouldn’t pull that out just to win some silly bet.” He lets go of your hand and an excited smile spreads across both your faces.

“Yeah? Gonna let me put a baby in you?” He asks, this time more excitement than embarrassment seeping into his tone and taking over his face. He moves to wrap his arms around your waist and you do the same.

“Yeah. I just might.” You scrunch your nose up at him and he does the same in return. “Might even wear the suit for you anyways, since you’ll be doing me such a favor.” You wink and Bucky laughs again. The two of you have gotten the attention of Sam and his nephews, but you’re sure they can't hear anything you’re saying.

“Think it’s you doing the favor.” Bucky leans in close and lowers his voice. “Having my baby. I know you’ll look beautiful. Fuck. I’m about to get us a flight home tomorrow.”

You feel heat on the back of your neck and butterflies in your stomach as you process Bucky’s words. “Gonna build our own little family, Barnes. Better get ready.” You laugh giddily as you lean forward to rest your forehead against his.

Bucky closes the small gap between you with a hard kiss. You press your body against his as he holds you tighter. The two of you are completely unaware of Sam’s shocked face or his hands rushing to cover the two children’s eyes.

“Gross!” He yells out and the two of you spring apart with embarrassed smiles. Bucky’s cheeks turn red again and that only makes you want to kiss him more. “That’s gross. There are kids here. And me. Nobody wants to see that.”

Bucky presses a soft kiss to your cheek before pulling away entirely. “I’ll see you later?” He asks as you begin to head back inside.

You nod with a mischievous smile. “I’m gonna go look at flights. I’m ready to be home with you, Sergeant Barnes.”

You laugh when a light blush graces his face again before he spins around and rushes back over to Sam and the boys. Sam punches him on shoulder and you can see the beginnings of a lecture, so you turn and rush up the stairs and head inside.

You rest a hand on your stomach. You’re unsure if it’s to quell the excited butterflies or because of your new plan to have a baby, but either way it makes you smile as you think.

Bucky Barnes was pretty when he blushed. Even prettier when it was the thought of having a baby with you that made him do it.

You would have fun with this.

-

notes // try and tell me the idea of only u being able to make bucky blush doesn’t make u warm inside u CAN’T! 

[4dtk]

anon: “hewoo !! umm can you make nct ideal type like age , apperance , height , cute or sexy etc 🌬️” let’s fuckin GOOOO. i’ll be using gender neutral terms for this! please tell me if i used she/her for any part as i’m more used to writing for fem readers!

sorry this took like almost a week i’ve been really busy lately, i apologise! under a cut because its so long lol

disclaimer: tons of “i feel”s and “i think”s; plus, this is just my headcanons of the boys! remember that all of you are beautiful and lovely and special in ur own way!! <3

TAEIL

i feel like taeil would want someone closer to his age (+/-), unless,,, UNLESS he finds someone he really clicks with (like haechan for eg) if they’re at a younger age

if he really does then taeil will 100% make the effort

ngl taeil would love a person taller than him, would worship the shit outta them 

if he gets teased for being shorter he doesnt care LMAO this man will have his hand around your middle and eye the other person mockingly

would love when you own your appearance with confidence, he likes to be by your side to admire how comfortable you feel in your skin

see him being a more traditional man by dating a korean person, but if he’s attracted to someone not of his race, i can see him making the effort

appearance? maybe someone who cleans up well, in a sense who’s a bit proper in their hygiene and like hair or accessories ig. he doesn’t mind what you wear tho, personally leaning more towards the comfy styles of cardigans and baggy clothes.

JOHNNY

either wants someone younger or older… i’m leaning more towards a younger s/o though bc he naturally has a “taking care” kinda vibe, and it’s sweet to see since he naturally takes care of the younger members like mark and haechan

wants to SMOTHER his s/o so i also think he’d want someone shorter than him. the man is a fucking skyscraper lawd

generally likes to give love A LOT since he’s an only child and wants to share that affection with someone who aren’t his parents or the members

but, but, like taeil, i see him really liking being held by his s/o, not just in a small spoon but laying on your chest, lying in between your legs with his head on ur tummy… so cute

i feel like johnny wouldn’t care much for appearance, nor your race since he kinda has the freedom to engage in english conversation. likes a cutesy positive vibe that can share the positivity and happiness he radiates normally!!

TAEYONG

feel like he would go for someone a tad bit older than he is, bc he likes to be taken care of

looking over the members can become really tiring and he needs some sort of solace to relax in

honestly if you’re younger too, he wouldn’t mind, he just needs to be babied LOL

likes tall people… ngl…

would like someone more in tune with their emotion and just not afraid to speak their mind? he likes confidence tbh

can see him going for a foreign person if he’s really passionate about them, would learn english/your native language 

taeyong likes a person that likes their outfits and doesn’t care what you wear out as long as you feel comfortable in it

would prefer more of a calm s/o, but easy-going and fun when they want to be

YUTA

doesnt really care for age tbh. if you’re able to bring him happiness and love him he doesn’t mind whether you’re older or younger

shorter 100%. wants to hold you very much, big spoon, the one holding you in the relationship

would go for a foreign person, but honestly, would want someone he can speak japanese with too. even he has shotaro now, he wants like just a closer person to confide in and also just share lil cute inside jokes with <3

yuta just wants his s/o to be themselves. just. yes. (i mean unless your personality is shit but he doesnt want someone to put on a front with him)

although he also likes cute people… he just wants to pamper u and make u feel like you’re the only one

KUN

goddamn, six kids plus three pets? this man is hanging on by a thread, but he would like a younger and shorter s/o

what’s one more right? 

also naturally has the taking care vibes like johnny, but there’s just something so… dom… about him AHASHFHEHR

would lean more toward a chinese- or korean-speaking s/o but

doesn’t mind a foreign s/o IF they make the effort. he would if he knows you would too. 

kun is lowkey energetic tbh and would want someone who can read the room of whether he’s comfy enough to let loose and remain the ‘parental’ figure

cute people i think will attract him, but oh my gosh when you’re self-assured? WHEW he really likes that, how you’re uncaring of people’s opinions regarding your appearance or personality

DOYOUNG

doesn’t mind older or younger or the same age, although i seem him gravitating toward an older s/o

this man is also 100% stressed. needs to be held, there’s a balance though in your relationship of who holds who though

would stay dating a korean/korean-speaking person i feel. not saying he wouldn’t make the effort but he takes his idol life very seriously and the outcomes if he were to get together with someone who doesnt speak his native tongue

he would want someone proper, like taeil, and would prefer his s/o to be cute and stuff

doyoung needs to know what you want though, so you’ll need to be sure of your choices basically

would like it more if his s/o was calm and just collected bc like taeyong, he needs a haven to relax in when he’s done for the day or when he needs to recharge

TEN

same age or older s/o !!! wants to be taken care of, this man also has a lot of love to give, altho they’re towards selective people like his members, pets, you

would gravitate towards tall people i feel

you need to love leon and louis. period. bella is a hot second.

ten would want an s/o who supports him wholeheartedly, seeing as he has so many talents that sometimes he gets caught up in showing talent for his idol life as opposed to creating things for himself. it’s easy to get lost in the pressure of the media to put out content that he feels is half- assed.

ten knows of his worth, but sometimes he just needs a bit of confirmation and support from the right people to truly create and post what he wants to

he would date a partner who doesn’t speak korean/chinese. he has english and thai and basic japanese baby!!! but yea, he def wouldn’t mind a foreign partner AND would go search up on resources to learn your native tongue!

another person who doesn’t care about how you dress. nor how you look as long as you’re being yourself!

JAEHYUN

oh, younger definitely and a shorter s/o

definitely doesn’t mind an english speaking s/o, although he would prefer someone who can speak korean as well. with s/o’s of other languages, he wouldn’t mind learning your language, although give him some time

the language barrier will be a bit awkward a first tho, but if you know minimal english, i think that’s more than enough for jaehyun to at least steer the convo!

jaehyun is the guy to always give me first love, love from high school vibes so he’s usually the one to embrace you, but LOVES it when you’re the one to initiate contact and affection

jaehyun knows he’s good looking, but he does want an s/o who loves him for who he is, who sees all his good traits as equal to his looks. he would also like an s/o who has a live in the moment mindset, bc he spends a lot of time in his idol life, that a carefree s/o to take him away from the stress of idol life would really help

a sucker for a cute style ngl, pastels and clips in your hair and stuff. 

WINWIN

wouldn’t mind someone a tad bit older, although i can see him with a younger person/same aged person too

shorter s/o!

sicheng wouldn’t care much for appearance, but he likes it when his s/o is confident, or in general confidence attracts him like the other guys in this post. that confidence would allow for him to be ‘guided’ in the relationship

would lean more towards a chinese/korean speaking person, but would try forming a r/s with someone of a different race to see how the language barrier would work

someone who is respectful of his space 100%. winwin wants someone who knows their boundaries in a context that there’s this sense of “i know when he’s feeling upset and wants to be left alone”, something like unspoken exchanges that the other just understands

sicheng also likes when his s/o is a little playful and cheeky, but not to the extent of the boys. just the right amount of outgoingness i guess haha. he would accommodate a bit of wildness, but sometimes it tires him out so you’ll need to know when to tone it down

JUNGWOO

feel like he would lean to an older s/o, but not necessarily needing to keep him in check because you’d be on the other side entertaining his antics lol

jungwoo uses up a lot of his energy tho, so sometimes he tends to go quiet and just likes to slump in your embrace

when he’s not quiet tho, he’s pretty cheeky in a sneaky kinda way and would want someone to reciprocate that.

jungwoo would also like an s/o who cheers him on a lot. he’s a bit insecure naturally, so he would want someone who doesn’t miss a beat to tell him that he’s doing good that day and would like a random compliment sometimes

would like to be held more than holding someone tbh

he wouldn’t care much for appearance, but does lean more towards cutesy appearances

LUCAS

younger and shorter s/o

would want an s/o to just calm down and rest with at times. sure he likes to have fun with his members and with his partner, but most dates with his partner has him in their arms and usually involves a calm activity

i mentioned this in chenle’s one as well, but the happiness he feels with his members is different from the one he feels with his partner, although lucas’ one is more of a blur where chenle’s a bit more distinct. does this make sense

wouldn’t ask much in an s/o, tbh. even if they’re just doing nothing, as long as lucas know he’s making you happy then he’s content with that. like when you’re smiling and loving him, then that’s all he really needs to be honest

lucas would not mind taking up an r/s with a foreign s/o, although he would have trouble with language barriers. would prefer a chinese/catonese speaking partner bc then he’s able to practise his dialect. he’d have a korean-speaking s/o too, although he sometimes stumbles over his korean a teeny bit

would love a cute style definitely!!!

MARK

same age, probably. he would feel more comfortable in terms of affection and conversation i feel!

equal amount of who holds who, but loves when his s/o initiates and cuddles him first 

likes baggy clothes on you tbh, likes to match appearances and styles with you

wouldn’t mind an s/o of any race. he’s dedicated to learning your language if anything, the man likes to learn about new things

mark just wants someone fun to be around who returns his laughter and jokes, kinda like how johnny does

he’s suffered enough from johnny though (“ah, mark! the smell!”) and would probably like it if you defend him instead LOL (sometimes you poke fun tho)

he would also want his s/o to just reciprocate him in terms of laughter and happiness level. mark is always so bubbly that he wants someone to smile at him and laugh with him

XIAOJUN

would like an older s/o ngl, i feel like he would want to be guided as well

doesn’t care if you’re tall or short tbh

but would like an s/o who brings him out of his shell like the members do.

he wants to be able to laugh without trouble around his s/o and let loose. xiaojun sometimes gets annoyed, mostly feigned annoyance, so it would be nice for an s/o to fit in like the members: making fun of his angry face and rolling eyes and then having some light banter

he’s also gonna need an s/o who’s not afraid to pull him back whenever he says out of pocket things. they’re not necessarily harmful just extremely blunt at times that makes you cringe and you have to pull him back to tell him of his comments LOL

xiaojun would... not go into an r/s with a foreign partner i feel, but he will TRY if the conversation is not too awkward, save for like activities and such. like others in this post, he’ll make an effort if he’s committed to you, and only if you’re sure of dating him as well

xiaojun loves a cute style lawd!

HENDERY

same age, younger, older, tbh i don’t think hendery cares that much

he would want a shorter s/o though, i feel

wants a fun and playful s/o, someone who’s just so enjoyable to be around that he sometimes forgets himself and gets lost in the happiness you two give out

he does also want an s/o who can make him shy and basically challenge his personality, but not in a headbutt way where it’s your same two personalities against each other. it’s rather two variations of the same feeling like your playful aura against hendery’s playful aura, which would be honestly quite fun to watch and experience bc you’re just trying to one-up each other

and idk, because he’s talkative quite often, he feels like it would be nice to be the flustered, eyes-wide one for once

hendery in a foreign partner relationship... he would try, but i think he’d be a little intimidated at the languages that he has to have some time to warm up. he would commit and make the effort if he was willing to, though

oversized fits are his shit!!!! he also doesn’t mind seeing you explore with your appearance and style, esp in the goth or rebel kinda style 

RENJUN

same age or younger, wouldn’t mind if you were taller since he knows his height is not THAT high

renjun loves for you to hold him though

the cheeky lad wants a laid back s/o, who doesn’t take life so seriously as well and like hendery, would like it if his s/o was a bit goofy and playful

would also want an s/o who’s deep about the universe and stuff, kinda intelligent to debate alien life and what not, he wants to be able to talk to you about anything and keep the conversation going even if you’re talking about something simple and dumb like snacks

i also can’t exactly see renjun go for a foreign s/o, mainly because of the language barrier, but i can see him trying if he’s able to get help from mark hyung and if the situation allows for you to meet frequently

renjun would definitely like a cute style on his s/o, but also would like more flashy or out-of-the-box outfits. as long as you’re comfy then he’s fine

JENO

same age. he likes to be taken care of though, would maybe be a 60/40 split of you taking care vs him taking care of you respectively

i feel like jeno would like a shorter s/o!

cute s/o, maybe matching up to the personality of jaemin since he was his longest friend from before. enthusiastic while he takes the back seat and admires you

while jaemin loses his social battery over time, jeno wouldn’t mind if you were a literal menace like haechan bc he feels that would make the r/s really fun

see him preferring a korean-speaking person. kinda like doyoung but not quite, he’s more careful than serious (?) about his idol life, and he wouldn’t want to take the risk

HAECHAN

same age or older i feel. equal split of who’s the embracer in the relationship though 

wouldn’t mind a taller person, although he’d prefer if you were around the same height bc he doesn’t want to be teased by his members lol

i feel like haechan would rlly like y2k outfits on his s/o? a mix of baggy outfits as well as cute ones

his natural outgoing personality allows him to get together with a foreign person i feel, bc he’d suggest things that don’t need talking like bowling or an arcade y’know? he struggles a bit with native languages tho, bc he’s so used to speaking korean

btw please egg him on, he loves it when you do it and also do dumb things with him. he would want someone who doesn’t take life so seriously while also possessing the ability to think deeply i feel, but mostly someone who can keep smiling and strong even through hardships. kinda a happy-go-lucky personality

JAEMIN

younger, i feel. like johnny he has a lot of affection to give like he usually does to jisung…. jisung is grown up alr tho so :”(

loves giving the cuddles, big spoon, etc. he just wants you to feel loved no matter what size you are

he also would love tall people ngl! although sometimes he can’t decide between short and tall people

jaemin would appreciate an affectionate s/o who’s committed to him and also a person who’s just naturally shy i feel

they don’t necessarily need to return the energetic bursts of aegyo or stuff (he’d love it though) and also someone who just enjoys life and the small little things in general

would not mind dating a foreigner, would love to learn about your native language actually!

he likes cutesy appearances i reckon, a bit of oversized styles but overall likes the pastels

YANG YANG

same age or older, likes to be taken care of tbh

yang yang is also someone who doesn’t care if you’re short or tall, and likes you either way :)

does not mind a foreign person, plus he’s moved countries a little and could maybe find solace in the fact that his homes are sometimes not fixed, esp with how many languages he speaks as well

yang yang would want an s/o who lives up to his excitement in jokes and memes. he would feel a bit down if you happen to not understand a joke although he cant blame you, but he would want someone almost identical to him? 

create chaos together and then fall asleep together

can see him liking a cute style tbh, and also reaaaaally likes to match outfits with you in your own respective styles

SHOTARO

same age, def.

i think being in nct has made him a little shy as compared to before when he was in a dance crew, so he’d need someone to encourage him while also taking care of him!!

talking to a non japanese- or korean- speaking person might scare him, so he would settle just for that. shotaro wouldn’t mind in a sense if he knows the other person is committed, but the language barrier for the first few dates would be awkward

ooohhh likes it when people are confident definitely, comfortable in their own skin. shotaro is another person i feel would really be attracted to y2k fits

like i said earlier, shotaro just needs a little push, which would help with an outgoing s/o and someone who’s not afraid to try new things. he feeds off your confidence and uses that to boost his!

CHENLE

doesn’t mind an s/o who is the same age or a tad bit older, i’m not sure if i see him with a younger s/o

doesn’t care if you’re tall or short as long as you give him his damn hugs!!!! 

outgoing personality? check. he would literally befriend anyone, and wouldn’t mind a foreign s/o who doesn’t speak korean or chinese. with his limited english, he could probably make an outing fun by doing activities together and will learn your language!!

an s/o who can calm him down. chenle uses up his energy a lot and can get worn out and just wants someone to embrace at the end of the day. i wouldn’t say its similar to taeyong who’s sometimes tired from taking care of the members, but rather in a way where it’s a little playful and bubbly in your own little circle.

it’s a different kind of happy that chenle feels with you as opposed to the joy that the members bring him.

chenle also would want someone who’s sure of themselves, more so in personality rather than apperance. he likes all sizes and colours and styles, altho leans more toward the oversized sector

SUNGCHAN

sungchan is bit mischievous, so i feel like he naturally lean towards an s/o who can kinda be the “mother slash partner” of him: either the same age or younger, leaning more toward a same aged s/o

lawd this man is so tall. i think he’d want a shorter partner, sometimes a bit awkward with the affection but overall likes to give it. plus point: he likes to see you struggle wrap your body around his to get all of him in your cuddles

he wants to be able to relate to them and wouldn’t want awkwardness, so i don’t think he would go for a foreign person as of now

sungchan likes someone to have fun with him, ofc he’s aware that he can’t take away all their problems but he would want his s/o to feel relaxed and content around him with his goofy personality

sungchan likes a cutesy style, maybe, BUT i always see him being really drawn to y2k fits!!!

JISUNG

leaning more towards the same age (+/-1). i think a noona would make him shy and a younger s/o would just feel weird to him idk. 

this man is also very tall, so probs a shorter s/o,,,,, would not mind if you are tall though!! he just likes to have you in his arms instead of the other way round (so you can’t see his flushed face)

not sure if he’d commit to a r/s that is foreign, but he would try with the help of mark-hyung or something. the reason why he’d take it was because the members would help me, but if not, he wouldn’t take the risk with his idol life at stake.

jisung wants someone who’s self-assured as well, strong in mettle and who has a strong character that helps him build up his drive. seeing you in your element helps him achieve more and he appreciates that you are able to provide him with a source of motivation

jisung likes cute stuff, but he does like oversized fits!

[sinner-as-saint]

‘Till We Bleed Out - 2.

Vampire!bucky x reader AU

Part 2 of this series. 

Run-through: Your car breaks down on a deserted road on a rainy night. You have no other option but to seek shelter from the nearest house you could find; the mansion, which happened to be the talk of the town for its mysteriousness along with its equally mysterious owner, Mr. Barnes. The universe can be tricky sometimes but the fact that you found yourself at that mansion’s doorstep at that time was no simple coincidence. That one night changes everything forever - quite literally. True love, past lives and creatures from folklore; turns out it’s all real. 

Themes throughout the series: vampire!bucky, fluff, smut, angst 

You woke up realizing that you had surprisingly fallen soundly asleep last night, after the strange dream about the handsome man; who was kind enough to let you take shelter from the storm in his home. 

Speaking of the storm, you got out of bed and walked over to the window, pulling the curtain aside. You noticed that the weather was even worse than last night. Heavy rain, and nonstop thunder. Although, it seemed like a very cozy day to just stay inside. You sigh with a soft smile on, perhaps you’d get to know more about Bucky today. 

You turned back around and noticed something you hadn’t last night. Roses on the nightstand, as red as blood and just as hauntingly beautiful. Your smile grew; there was something enchanting about red roses. A bunch of it looked like the embodiment of poetry and there was no other way you could explain it. 

You approached the flowers and inhaled their fresh scent. Oh how you loved them! How come you didn’t notice they were on the nightstand? Anyways, you walked into the bathroom and brushed, showered and were about to change into another pair of sweatpants when you noticed more clothes in the closets. A sundress caught your eye and you decided to wear it. It fit you perfectly. You twirled in front of the mirror, checking yourself out when Wanda walked into the room. 

“I see you’re up, Miss.” she smiled at you. And you noticed she had the same look in her eyes, like Bucky did. That of sadness, or helplessness. But you tried ignoring it. 

“Good morning.” You gave her your best smile and noticed how she took in your appearance. 

“You look lovely. Anyways, I came to let you know that breakfast is ready. Mr. Barnes is waiting for you downstairs in the dining room. Come down whenever you’re ready.”  

Wanda left and the brief mention of Bucky brought back the memories of last night’s dream. It was definitely weird that you had such an explicit dream about him, but the weirdest thing was that you were not feeling the slightest bit guilty about it. 

You took a deep breath and stepped out of the room. You made your way downstairs, leisurely. Taking in more of the décor and the paintings on the wall. These must have cost a fortune, you thought. 

You found Bucky in the dining room, sitting at one of the ends of the large table. You had to admit, even the furniture in this house seemed pricey. Bucky set the newspaper down upon seeing you. He let his eyes roam your frame quickly and his smile broadened. “You look lovely,” he commented. 

You smiled, just a little shy and whispered a ‘thank you’. As you took a seat on his left, he spoke again. “The storm intensified. Looks like you’re not going home today.” he said with a genuine smile. You began to oppose naturally but he insisted. “You’ll be safe here.” 

You agreed. You picked a few food items from the large trays and took a few bites while Bucky got back to his newspaper. The silence was comfortable, the two of you seemed perfectly alright with sharing the space without feeling the need to fill the void with any conversation. It felt like this was part of your routine almost. 

You sipped on coffee and discreetly lifted your eyes to look at Bucky. He munched on a piece of fruit while focusing on some article in the papers. His body language made him look like an older man; eating while reading his newspaper. But his face didn’t look a day over 35. The contrast made you giggle and that caught his attention. 

He turned to face you with a raised eyebrow. “Something funny, miss?” he sounded like he was teasing you, politely. 

You shook your head and set your cup down, and upon doing so you noticed the red roses in a vase in front of you, again. The sudden urge to ask a question took over you, “Your wife, did she like red roses?” 

“They were her favorite.” He seemed unfazed by your sudden curiosity. 

“What was she like?” you asked again and the smitten smile on his face gave away how much he loved her. Love like this was rare, and you felt just a little envious of the late woman. She was so lucky, you hoped she knew. 

“Like the answer to all my prayers. Beautiful. Every little thing about her was so, so beautiful. She was kind, smart and funny, and fierce. She made me a better man. She was delightful.” You noticed he looked you right in the eyes as he spoke. His answer gave away that he worshipped that woman. 

“I hope she knew how much you love her.” 

He gave you that soft smile again. “I made sure to remind her every single day.” 

-

You never knew rainy days could be so lovely. After breakfast Bucky offered to show you his library because of course he owned one. And you had the time of your life just walking around and running your fingers over some of your favorite books. 

You noticed red roses on the coffee table as well, by the couches in his study room/library. While reaching for a copy of Pride and Prejudice, your hand brushed with his and your whole body felt like it was electrified. You pulled away sheepishly, but he held it up to you and you took it with a smile, admiring the front cover. 

“Your favorite?” he asked. 

You nodded, excitedly. He let out a little laugh. “You can have this one. I have plenty of other copies.” 

You smiled so big your cheeks hurt. “Thank you, Buck.” you were so excited that you walked past him, hungry to explore the other side of his library - without realizing what you just called him. 

Meanwhile Bucky was both surprised and elated. Buck… no one called him that except for-

“What’s in there?” he heard your voice and turned around immediately. You were pointing at the partially hidden door at the end of the room. “That’s where you hide all your secrets?” you teased, using the same tone he did this morning. 

He laughed and nodded. “Yes, you caught me.” 

You two shared a laugh and then he insisted that you should see the piano room. You agreed and just as everything else in the house, the grand room was equally as breathtaking. White couches, brown pillows, plants, full of light even with the stormy weather and a large balcony adjoined to it. Perfect. 

“It’s beautiful,” you said as you admired the room. You could hear the heavy rain hitting the window panes, it was comforting. You noticed the well-maintained piano right by the door which led to the balcony, “Do you play?” you asked and he gave you a dramatic look which gave away that you had just bruised his ego. 

“Miss Y/N, how dare you question my skills?” He answered with a smile on, then proceeded to play the most melodic tune you had ever heard. You weren’t much of a musical person, but you knew a melancholic tune when you heard one. It was, as most things in this house, hauntingly beautiful. Even the music carried a sense of nostalgia, and homesickness. 

You closed your eyes for a moment, getting lost in the music which filled the room effortlessly. Familiar, very familiar. Then it hit you - this was the same song being played at that ball in your dream. You opened your eyes immediately, baffled at the weird coincidences taking place lately. 

You found yourself gravitating towards the bench, and eventually you sat beside Bucky. He looked at you for a brief moment, then resumed playing somewhat of a softer tune. You smiled at him and suddenly it all felt like a déjà-vu. Like you’ve lived this exact moment a hundred times before. Sitting next to him, your elbows brushing, him looking at you lovingly, yet with sad eyes. His cologne, the slight gray in his eyes, the weather - it felt like a forgotten dream was coming back to you. 

You had to find something to say otherwise you felt like you were about to lose your mind. “You said you worked all day everyday. So is today your day off?” you tried to lighten the mood. 

He let out a little laugh. “Like I said, I rarely get visitors. I’m just making the most out of your company.” 

He was drop dead gorgeous, and he could make your heart race with just a few simple words. A dangerous combination really. 

He kept playing as you walked around the room, taking in every little detail. This was the only room in the house which had white roses in the vase, instead of dark red ones. Well, the white ones matched the interior better here. Your gaze fell upon something interesting next. 

“Vinyl records?” that seemed to catch his undivided attention as he stopped playing and turned to you. 

“Oh yes. It was one of my… old hobbies.” He answered. 

You giggled. “You say old hobbies like you are over a hundred years old.” 

He chuckled and got up from the bench. He walked over to where the records were kept, picked one out and carefully placed it down on the record player. A soothing tune filled the room again. Much lighter and happier than the piano earlier. A stark contrast to the gloomy weather but it still, somehow, fit perfectly. 

Bucky extended his arm out in front of you, out of nowhere. “Dance with me.” 

You didn’t hesitate for a single and took his hand immediately. Bucky held you close; his hand at your waist pressing your body to his gently. His other hand held yours delicately. Your arm placed over his shoulder as you stared into his deep, piercing eyes. And just like that, you two swayed slowly to the sweet, slow music. Effortlessly, gracefully and without any awkwardness or hesitation. Almost like you’ve danced a thousand times before. 

You giggled as he twirled you around and pulled you closer almost immediately. And when you looked back up into his eyes, it felt like a déjà-vu again. Only this time, you knew where you had experienced something similar to this - in your dream last night. The ballroom, the gown, the way you danced. Just like this. 

Your body tensed up and you weren’t blinking, Bucky caught the change in your behavior. “Don’t think about it.” he murmured. 

“About what?” you used a much softer tone as well. You and him were so close you could whisper and you were sure he would hear you perfectly. 

“Whatever it is you’re thinking about.” He spoke as he swayed you gently. “You’re here, with me. I don’t want you to think about anything else.” It sounded more like a plea than a request. There was something else he was trying to say; inexplicable, hidden in between the lines. Somehow you caught it. 

You nodded. “I’m here.” You spoke without paying much attention to what you were saying or doing. “With you.” All that mattered in the world right now was that you were in his embrace. His ocean blue eyes were the only thing you could make sense of. 

You felt it then. The warmth, despite his cold hands. The sparks flying around, despite the dark and gloomy weather outside. He started leaning in and you met him halfway. 

His hand moved up to gently cup your face. His lips brushed against yours briefly as he paused and waited to see if you would pull away. Seeing you didn’t, he pressed his lips to yours. You shivered at how delicately he caressed your cheek with his thumb. Kissing him felt natural. Like a habit. His lips were soft and familiar. He tightened his grip around your waist, pulling you closer. 

Your hands instinctively slid into his hair, he moaned under his breath as you tugged on it gently.  Bucky tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss, nibbling on your lips and gently stroking your lower lip with his tongue. You felt giddy and warm. And safe. 

He pulled away just a second before Wanda stepped into the room. “Dinner’s ready.” 

Bucky told her you two would be downstairs in a minute and you caught that look on her face. A look of pure joy and satisfaction. You didn’t understand why. 

When Wanda left, you faced Bucky again, now just a little nervous. “I.. I didn’t-,” 

He silenced you by gently holding your chin in between his fingers. “Shh sweetheart.” His gaze spoke volumes; he was perfectly alright with this kiss. “We should go downstairs.” 

Dinner was perfect. Lovely conversation, lovely wine, the same stormy weather outside but inside Bucky’s home; all was well. He told you that you were more than welcome to use his library if you wished to do some light reading before bed. You agreed. 

You grabbed a book and curled up on one of the couches and he did the same, sitting right across you. You found yourself re-reading the same sentence over and over again because you couldn’t focus. Not when you could physically feel his eyes on you. You even caught him staring a few times and giggled whenever he seemed flustered after being caught. 

There was ease between you two. And the next two hours went by comfortably. 

“It’s late, I should go to bed.” You spoke as you stood up. He did as well, and when you looked into his eyes you began wishing that this storm outside lasts forever. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He whispered, leaning in and kissing you at the side of your mouth. 

“Goodnight.” 

-

You tossed and turned in bed. Somehow, falling asleep was a little harder today because you couldn’t help but think about how it felt when Bucky kissed you earlier. The sound of the harsh storm echoed inside the house, but it was still comforting. 

The loud roar of the thunder was the last thing you heard before drifting off to sleep; dreaming again, this time of red roses, blue eyes, balconies and paintings… 

Arms wrapped around you from behind, embracing you in a tight hug. “Do you like it, my love?” the silky smooth voice asked. You looked down and you smiled at the sight of the wedding band on his finger. 

“I love it.” You looked up at the frame hung on the wall. It was a painting of you and your husband, delivered to you that morning itself. “We’ll keep it here forever.” 

You heard a soft chuckle, then felt a pair of lips kissing your neck softly. “Even longer.” 

You turned around and came face to face with Bucky, with slightly longer hair, tied in a low, neat ponytail. Behind him was a very familiar door. You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. “We should get going, else we’ll be late.” 

The surroundings faded, and you were now inside a dimly lit ballroom. The grand chandelier was mesmerizing, but not more than your husband’s eyes. He was gorgeous, your man; even with half his face covered by the masquerade mask he was still perfectly able to take your breath away. 

He smirked, as though able to read your thoughts. He leaned in, and the rest of your surroundings was suddenly a blur. “Do you wish for us to go somewhere more private, sweetheart?” He whispered in your ear. 

You bit your lip and nodded, only then realizing that you were wearing a mask as well. Bucky smiled, tugging on your hand and dragging you along to wherever it is he was taking you. 

The room around you morphed again and you found yourself running up a staircase with Bucky, giggling and holding onto each other for dear life until you finally made it to the top. You found yourself on a balcony. 

“Where are we?” you asked. 

Bucky stepped closer, pushing you gently against the balustrade. “Home.” He leaned in and kissed you. His mouth moved against yours gently, passionately. His hands were on either side of your waist as he pressed you further into him. Your hands instinctively went to his neck as you gently pulled him closer.

As you closed your eyes and cherished his touch, an image of the painting from earlier flashed in front of your eyes. But you forgot it just as quickly as it came because Bucky’s touch took over all your senses. His hand slipped under your dress, and went right to your wet core. 

You giggled into the kiss as his knuckles brushed faintly against your core and you moaned at his touch. He cupped you in between the legs and the palm of his hand pressed against your throbbing clit. His mere touch was driving you insane. His lips left yours and he kissed his way to your neck; sharp teeth nipping at your skin. At the feel of it, your own canines sharpened out of nowhere. 

Surprisingly, it didn’t feel like it was the first time that it happened. You seemed comfortable with the sudden change. 

Bucky kissed all the spots which made you weak in the knees; he knew your body by heart it seemed. While he kissed your skin, his fingers moved slightly against your dripping core. You moaned, tugging on his hair just a little. 

“Be quiet for me, sweetheart.” he mumbled against your skin as he slipped two fingers past your folds. He curled his fingers inside you immediately, and stroked your walls gently. You moved your hips against his hand as you chased your orgasm. His thumb rubbed your swollen clit furiously as you bit your lip to keep you from moaning. 

“Buck…” you were breathless, each nerve ending on fire as pleasure washed over you. 

“Shh sweetheart,” he quickened his actions and slipped his fingers in and out of you incessantly until he felt your walls clench around him. “Cum for me,” he whispered. You moaned, biting your lower lip as you came all over his hand. 

Once you recovered, he pulled your dress up, making it bunch around your waist as he stepped in between your legs again; kissing you like his life depended on it. He undid his pants and hoisted you up his own body. You wrapped your legs around his waist quickly for better balance and he leaned the two of you against the balustrade once again. 

You felt his hard cock pressing against your skin as he kissed you hungrily. His hand dipped in between the two of you and he guided the tip of his erected cock over to your dripping entrance. The brief friction caused you to moan into his mouth. 

“Be quiet for me, yes?” he spoke against your lips, almost as breathless as you were. You nodded frantically. And with that, he pushed himself inside you quickly. You felt all of him once he was completely buried in you. His cock twitched inside you and you bit your lip to prevent a moan from escaping your lips.

He held your hips, and your hands gripped his shoulders desperately as you tried to keep your voice down. You pushed your face into the crook of his neck, nibbling on his skin with your sharp fangs as he rocked in and out of you. You moaned quietly against his skin as his throbbing cock sped up into you. He pounded into you relentlessly, earning more and more moans and gasps out of you. 

He growled when he felt you clench around him. “Bucky…” you moaned and he immediately placed his lips on yours to stop you from making more noise. He loved how you lost control under his touch. He loved the sound of his name leaving your lips. 

“Shh, sweetheart. Quiet,” he mumbled against your lips as he felt your walls milking him perfectly. “We can’t get caught fucking in our own balcony while we were supposed to be hosting a party downstairs.” He ended with a chuckle. 

You whined. “Well if you weren’t so insatiable,” you teased. He scoffed, holding you at the curve of your ass, hands under your dress as he occasionally squeezed your butt cheeks, making you giggle and moan at the same time. 

“Says the one who lures me in like a seductress every moment of every day,” he sassed back. He slammed into you relentlessly while you tried your hardest to not to scream out loud. You felt a pressure building between your hips, and it seemed like he felt it as well because he dipped his head into the crook of your neck and swore under his breath as he sped up again. 

Your thoughts became cloudy, and all that you could focus on in that moment was the force of his thrust. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you found yourself unable to form proper thoughts. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone each time he filled you up.

Your body moved along with his like a rag doll as you could no longer keep up with his thrust. Soon, you felt the warmth taking over. And a familiar tingle went down your spine as your walls clenched around him. You gushed out all over his cock with a loud moan… 

 You woke up gasping, shocked that you had dreamt such explicit dreams two nights in a row now. You looked around and realized that it was still night time. You could still replay the dream in your head like a vivid memory. You closed your eyes and took deep breaths. 

The painting. 

The painting seemed so real, so detailed. You wondered if- 

Wait, that door you dreamt of. You’ve seen it before, haven’t you? Large, dark wood with beautifully detailed carvings on it, golden doorknob… 

You gasped again. It was the door in the library. Your heart raced. Could it be… ? 

You didn’t think twice before getting out of bed, grabbing the robe Wanda had left you earlier you stepped out of the room. Your breaths got shallower and shallower as you reached the library. 

It could very well be just a weird dream, right? You jumped at the sound of the thunder, and realized that you were already inside the library. You stared at the door. This was the exact one you dreamt of. 

Fuck it. You walked towards it, blocking out any thoughts which told you to turn back around and get back in bed. You twisted the doorknob and it was unlocked. You pushed the door open, stepping inside you found a secret room. About the same size of the library, or maybe slightly more spacious. 

It looked like a more modern and luxurious version of a drawing room. With the usual, couches, carpets and… and paintings. For a moment you almost didn’t want to find it. You didn’t want to find that painting of you and Bucky; which you had just dreamt of because if or when you do, what then? 

You looked around, the light from the two chandeliers illuminating the room just right. There were regular paintings one would find in an expensive mansion like this one; views of countryside, mountains, rivers. There were some paintings of people you couldn’t recognize but you knew, deep inside, that they seemed familiar. 

You almost let out a sigh of relief when you didn’t find the painting from your dream. 

Almost. 

But then you saw it. The largest frame in the room. Right above the golden fireplace, mounted on the wall perfectly straight and right in the center of the room. 

It was the painting you dreamt of. The one of you and Bucky. 

“What the hell?” you whispered as you approached the fireplace, craning your head up to look at the oddly familiar painting. 

You two seemed so happy. You were in a rose gold gown, and Bucky was well-dressed in navy blue. A lovely moment in time, captured in a beautiful painting. You weren’t quite sure what to think as you looked at yourself in the painting. 

Your eyes instinctively trailed down to the bottom on the frame. And in cursive black painted were written the words which gave you goosebumps: ‘Mr. & Mrs. Barnes. 1872.’ 

“What the hell?” you repeated. 

This time you heard a voice speak up, from behind you. “You should be in bed, sweetheart.” He said softly. 

You turned around and found Bucky leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed and a look on his face which you couldn’t quite decipher. You turned to look back at the painting, and then back at him again. He hadn’t aged since 1872 it seemed. 

Your heart raced again. 

It couldn’t be… could it? 

[dingdonghyvck]

Still Into You || Lee Haechan x Reader

Summary: Not a day goes by that Haechan’s not into you.

Genre: Angst

Pairing/s: Drummer!Haechan x Lead Vocalist!Reader, Minor College Student!Mark x Reader

Warnings: Explicit language, suggestive, mentions of sex and a few sex jokes, alcohol and cigarettes, cheating, manipulation of feelings, angst, and a few others I probably forgot to mention.

Word Count: 4.9k-ish

So I’ve been seeing a lot of Haechan drummer au’s on TikTok, so I thought fuck it and made one! I hope you like it :)

You can read Part two here: The Only Exception

“Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together,

I need the other one to hold you, make you feel, make you feel better.”

Donghyuck's pretty sure that you're the only person from high school that he still bothers to be around, it's been approximately 9 years since the day you two met. 9 years since the day he awkwardly sat next to you in seventh grade, 9 years since the day you drew dick doodles in his notebook as a form of icebreaker since you didn't know any other way of talking to him. It was safe to say that he was more than surprised to see flying dick doodles in his spiral notebook when he got back to class after lunch, still he was somehow amused by the scribbles and the little message you left him introducing yourself.

He immediately talked to you the moment you came  back inside the classroom with your earphones in. He still remembers it so clearly, the way you offered him the left piece of your earphones so you two can listen to music in secret, the teacher had already arrived and you two didn't have enough time to speak to each other. Donghyuck would say it was fate, others would say paramore's just too mainstream, but he didn't care. A cute girl liked the same bands as him, so he made it his goal to get closer to you.

And so you two bonded over music, something you both loved with your whole heart and soul. It was through countless concerts and after-school trips to the record store that got you closer and soon enough you two started messing with GarageBand, creating a few silly songs that were the epitome of teen angst, it was always in good fun. But Donghyuck suddenly came to you with a brilliant proposal one calm afternoon when you were hanging out his room.

"So there's like a battle of the bands at school every year... You sing right? Do you feel like making a band?"

"Yeah, sure..." You had shrugged mindlessly while painting his pinky finger black, mind a bit pre-occupied with what was happening back at home. But Donghyuck takes no notice from this, it was a simple reply but he didn't bother to press further, he could just rally up a few of his friends to start up this band, and if you ever do complain he can also scream blasphemy in your face. Plus he was enjoying the calm atmosphere, so he didn't want to ask any more questions. Well it was as calming as it could get since All Time Low was blasting through his bedroom's speakers, volume maxed out to the point it could make anyone’s ears bleed.

It took him quite a while to fill in missing band mates since you two weren't the most liked people at school, but eventually after a few persuasive talks over milkshakes you two have built a band by the end of February, a little too late for the battle of the bands event. But you all decided that it would be fun to congregate as the band geeks instead of going back to being the outcasts of the school. So practices were held in your basement everyday, you insisted on it since you were trying to spite your parents as much as you could, you hated your life at home, but you could bear the presence of your family if you had some friends around.

Skip a few years and here you are again as "The Innocents"—you honestly don't know why you agreed to the stupid band name, but you lacked the creativity and energy to argue with a caffeinated Donghyuck at 4 am when he had proposed it to the group chat. Although Hendery had complained fifteen times before practice that day, everyone still ended up in your basement, practicing for the annual battle of that bands event your school held, a final hurrah before ending high school.

Donghyuck loved playing the drums, he was drawn to the instrument since a young age so he did he have a natural sense of beat and rhythm. But what he liked the most was the view he got from the back. Not only could he watch the whole band work around the stage, he also had the best view of you. He enjoyed watching you jump around, how you would sometimes lick the side of Jeno’s face whenever you felt a bit mischievous, the way you would laugh at the middle finger he'd throw at you, the way you'd practically lay yourself down the center of the stage as you sang your heart out.

You naturally had the talent, that much was certain. Donghyuck always felt entranced whenever you took on the stage bravely, being the frontman was of course the most challenging position of all. But the way you handled the spotlight made it look so easy, as if you were made to be holding a mic since birth. It was as if you were dancing your own symphony and the rest of the band was nothing but a harmony struggling to follow through since your energy was too overwhelming at times.

But somehow you always made it work, no matter how much your band mates hated it, there was always something unique about the way you presented yourself onstage, demanding the audience's attention. No one was brave enough to even try being in your position, so they had let you bask in the limelight for the most part. But there was particular day you seemed different, as if you had been tuned down. There was something wrong and it was obvious enough to everyone that Jeno had to make up an excuse to leave early with Hendery. They had left abruptly to let you talk it out with Donghyuck, since well, he's your best friend.

Little did they know that you two have been casually fucking for the past year since the time Donghyuck confessed his feelings for you. You haven't given the relationship between you two a label since you weren’t really one to be tied down, but he was glad enough to be even be able to hold you.

You reveal to him that your parents were about to get a divorce, and as much as a shock it was to receive this news, what shocked him more was the moment you sat on his lap. You two were still situated in front of the drum set, but Donghyuck didn't seem to mind. So he helps you take your seat, arms wrapping around your waist as your fingers find its way onto the little hairs at the back of his neck, Donghyuck gulps when he sees you bring out a stick of cigarette.

"What? I'm stressed," You smiled wearily as you lit the cigarette. You take a sharp inhale before blowing the smoke to his face, he scrunches his nose.

"Are you sure you're okay? divorces can be-"

You cut him off by placing the lit cigarette to his lips, the tiny smirk on your face made him frown. You raised an eyebrow at him while you waited, you really didn't feel like talking about your parents, so you evaded it the the same way you'd usually evade him whenever he brought up anything about feelings. He paused for a moment to look at you before inhaling from the cigarette, immediately coughing afterwards. His eyes a little teary as he muttered a small "jesus christ”, you giggled before taking his face into your hands. You push back a few strands of hair as you admired his forehead, he had done nothing but stare back at you.

"Don't tell me you'll leave me too" you whispered as you nuzzled your nose against his neck.

Donghyuck lets out the breath he was holding, gently caressing your backside as he chuckled, finally relaxing into your arms. He knew that it was wrong for you two to not speak about your personal lives that much, since it was pretty obvious you were having troubles at home. But he knew how much you hated to feel feelings, so he never overstepped boundaries. He lets you be for the most part, except for times he reminded you that it’s okay to open up to him. You were always quick dismiss him, telling him you were a big girl and you didn't want to bother or burden him. As much as he'd like to keep insisting, he'd rather just leave you be.

"If I say I love you will you stay forever?" you mumbled as you kissed the mole on his neck, smudging a bit of lipstick on his sun-kissed skin.

Donghyuck felt his heart drop to his stomach,  taking your face into his large palms, caging you into his gaze to see if you were joking, or if you had any doubts behind your gaze. but he was met with the softest gaze he's ever seen on you. Your mascara and eyeliner were running down your cheeks, the little black heart you drew in this morning was smudged to a dot on your pretty face. And a few might say you looked like a mess as tears rimmed your eyes, donghyuck could only think about how much he wanted to kiss you.

"You'll always have me" he whispered, bringing your face towards his. It felt hot, too hot that his skin actually felt like burning the moment your hands touched his backside under his shirt. the kiss was passionate, filled with so much heat and lust that it felt dangerous, he was seconds away from being burned alive; but you suddenly pulled away.

"I love you," you whispered against his mouth, lips brushing past each other as each syllable left your mouth. Your nose gently touched his as you breathed him in, gripping onto his biceps as best as you can, desperate in needing to feel him against you.

Donghyuck does not reply, he simply brings your lips back to his. And as much as he wanted to be more gentle, to take his time with you and make you feel how much he worshipped your body, but your passion burnt too hot that he couldn't smother it. He lets it consume him, his whole being as he loses himself in you, too consumed by your flare and embers to notice how he was slowly burning himself out, that he himself was going to be smothered by you.

“It's not a walk in the park to love each other.                                      

But when our fingers interlock, can't deny, can't deny, you're the worth it.”

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this!?" you screamed, eyes reddening from stress as you pulled at your hair, hard enough to rip a few strands out.

"Johnny's just a fucking friend!" you continued, about to leave the room to run away but he cages you against the wall, hands gripping your shoulders harshly, he was bound to leave marks.

"Baby i'm pretty sure friends don't suck each other off in restaurant bathrooms" he snarled, his voice masked with so much venom that if it were a different person they would be quivering with their knees buckling, but you were different, so you stood your ground.

"I already said I love you what do you fucking want from me?" you laughed coldly, crossing your arms against your chest.

"Love... I'm your boyfriend, I don't know how fucked up your brain is, but don’t tell me you don't know what a boyfriend is." he groans in annoyance, pushing himself away from you. The fighting had been so frequent that you two would be at each other's throats more often than not. The added stress from university and his side jobs was finally ticking him off, he was at his breaking point and he didn't know how long he could still be with you when you were blatantly cheating on him.

"Let's break up then." you muttered, looking down at your feet.

"Fine." He mumbled in defeat, taking a seat on the couch. He buries his face into his palms, trying his best to calm down while his breathing increased. He didn't realized what he had agreed to until he heard his door slam shut. That was the moment he knew he made a mistake, he had let you go too easily. You on the other hand, couldn't help but be the happiest you've been the whole week, finally free. And while Donghyuck was left to try and fix what was left between the two of you, you were out to get coffee, living freely as if nothing had happened.

“Cause after all this time                                         

I'm still into you...”

You sang with the tiniest smile, hiding behind your bangs as you tried your best to jump around the stage and keep eye contact with the blonde male sat front row. It's been 8 months since you and donghyuck broke up and yet you've already found a new boy, some dude you accidentally spilled coffee on. Some random dude who asked for your number and you easily said yes, some random dude that caught your eye. Although it's been months since the breakup, Donghyuck couldn’t help but feel bitter; you had broken his world in half and somehow you still looked fine.

A normal person would walk away. A normal person would leave you and realize how toxic and dangerous you were to the people around you, how you pushed everyone away the second they get too close. But somehow Donghyuck was different, he doesn't know why or how he's doing it, but he sticks by your side. Agreeing to still be in the band and staying as friends, since of course we all fuck our best friends once in our lives right? But like the dumb lapdog he was, he accepted your apology at 12 am in the morning when you showed up drunk at his doorstep. Maybe it was the side of him desperately clinging onto you, looking for some sort of closure or any sign of you regretting the breakup, but months had passed and the days seemed normal for you.

He knew how wrong it was, don't mistake him for someone who's stupid enough to let a girl trample over his heart. He somehow just couldn’t keep away, you had broken him to the point that he didn't want anyone else unless it was you. It really was all so stupid in retrospect. He's handsome, irresistible, and incredibly hot so he could easily grab anyone he wanted but somehow he always ends up pining after you.

No matter how many girls and guys he sees he always ends up in the exact same spot, in the back, sat on his drum set to watch you jump around and light up the stage. But this time you brought a whole different aura, it was his first time seeing you shy. Was it that random Mark guy you started seeing? It's not likely that you'd let the guy stick around, you hated being tied down.  Yet Donghyuck feared this was different, since well, you really seemed off this week since you met Mark.

You don’t even show up at his place shit-faced at 3am every weekend anymore. You even attended some of your classes because Mark would be in them. You smoked less and it seemed like you were finally getting your life together. Did this stranger have that kind of effect on you? Nevertheless Donghyuck could feel the anger bubble in his stomach as he hams up his drumming, annoyed and frustrated at how hard you were to read. he didn't notice that he had been banging at the drums so loud that it muffled out your singing, confusing both Jeno and Hendery who were eyeing him from the sidelines. This continues until the end of the song, but you didn't seem to mind since you decided to ignore it, busy staring at Mark as he smiled shyly at you, raising his glass as you continued to sing your heart out.

“I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you.      

And even baby our worst nights I’m into you, I'm into you.”

After the last set, you were gulping down the beer Jeno handed you, messily wiping your lips with the back of your hand as you looked for a blonde college boy in the crowd. It wasn't long until you're met with the cutest smiles, his shy eyes hiding behind his glasses as he complemented how great you were, it was his first time watching you sing.

"I wasn't that bad was I?" you asked, giggling playfully, you placed the empty bottle on the counter behind him.

"You were great! the best even," he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around you, his scent engulfed you. You gladly tucked yourself into his arm, you fitted perfectly.

"Mhmm? Then why can't you look me in the face?" you challenged, laughing at the way Mark coughed up his drink from embarrassment.

"Well I don't usually see you dressed up.... like this" he mumbled shyly, of course he hasn't. What you were wearing wasn't necessarily your Sunday's best. You’re pretty sure Mark's father, who's a pastor, wouldn't be too happy to see you showing up for a family dinner in a lace crop top and ripped skinny jeans.

"It's how I usually dress for the gigs, it's not ugly is it...?" you pouted, and as much as you hated acting cute, you loved watching Mark squirm.

Mark wasn't even able to reply when your band mates' presence was made known by  Hendery who ordered everything available in the bar. You couldn't help but giggle while watching your friend drink shot after shot, he offered you some but you declined since you didn't want to get shit-faced in front of Mark, you were better than that. You knew he was totally out of your league, being the perfect christian college boy studying english literature, he's probably the type who'll marry a pretty trophy wife that will give him three beautiful kids. You didn't even know why Mark gave you a chance, you were practically trash on the side of the road compared to him.You were struggling enough to get by with the gigs and college funds, but he doesn’t seem to mind when you would come up empty-handed during dates, he would gladly spoil you— so consider yourself lucky.

"Hyuck you're not looking too hot" Jeno says it while checking the drummer’s temperature, the brunette simply pushed his hand away, trying his best to avoid your gaze.

"I'm fine" he rolled his eyes, opening a few buttons of his silk shirt, grabbing the attention of some of the ladies near the bar.

"What do you mean? Hyuck's hot as fuck!" Hendery shouted, most probably drunk. Jeno tries to pull the shot glass away but it only ends up spilling all over the counter, Mark scrunches his nose in disgust.

"Wouldn't you know?" Hendery continued pointing towards you, he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Mark's arm drop from your shoulder, you suddenly freeze from his comment.

"Yeah wouldn't you know sunflower?" Donghyuck smirked, eyes meeting with those of Mark's who looked uncomfortable. You tried shooting him a glare, telling him to stop ruining your night, you wanted to finally shoot your shot with Mark. The blonde made you feel different, he made you feel stable and safe, it’s been a long time since you last felt this way. You didn’t even know you were still capable of developing feelings and you haven't felt this way towards anyone so you really didn't want to mess it up. But to your anguish, Mark's curiosity got the better of him.

"Oh yo wait, so you two... were a thing?" Mark coughed awkwardly, his hand going to grip your waist which made you perk up.

"Yeah we've known each other for quite... some time, so it's natural that we've tried stuff" Donghyuck shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets to hide the way he's balling up his fists.

"Yeah but that was like a decade ago, we don't really-"

"Pretty sure 8 months isn't a decade long love" Donghyuck raised his eyebrow, a little smirk makes his way as he sees Mark's grip on your waist falter.

"So do you two still...?"

"No! No, never again... Why would I when I already have you?" you immediately cut Mark off, he's startled by your reply but he still smiles at you, not as bright as the ones he'd shoot you when were onstage. There was a long awkward pause but thankfully Mark speaks up.

"Well! I have like four essays due tomorrow, so I'm gonna have to head out. Want me to drive you home?" he offers, and you were about to accept but you saw Donghyuck raising an eyebrow at you so you stop yourself.

"I would but... We still have a second set, I... I'll call you" you said worried that he'd be turned off with the idea that you had slept with your best friend who you're still friends with by the way, but he simply shook his head as if he was telling you to not worry about it. He kisses your forehead gently before saying goodbye to the rest of the boys. You watch his retreating figure but you weren't able to see him exit the club's doors because it's not long before you feel a strong grip on your left wrist and you're being dragged to somewhere.

“Let 'em wonder how we got this far,

'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all.”

Donghyuck leads you to the club's dirty bathroom, lowly lit with the purple and pink lights. He locks the door behind him but the vibrations of the club's speakers pounded against the door, it was still just as deafening as it was outside. Donghyuck stares at your face for a moment, thinking of what words to say. He watched the way you pursed your lips, you probably were thinking the same, so he beats you to speaking.

"Second set? I'm pretty sure we're done for the night sweetheart-" Donghyuck's stopped mid sentence by your hand coming across his face with a harsh slap, he smiles sadistically when he looks up at you.

"Yeah there's no second set but I had to tell you this" you said, eyes lit with a fire he's never seen before.

"Don't. Ruin. Mark. For. Me." you spat as you pushed him with your finger, backing him up against the club's door. His smirk finally falters, he looked just as confused and annoyed the day you two broke up.

"What? Everything I said was true, doesn't he deserve to know? Let him wonder how we got this far... If he ever doubts your feelings for him, then he doesn't deserve you"

You think about how it's actually the other way around, because for the first time in your life, you're finally making a change for the better. Since your abusive past and your parents' divorce you had always been problematic. Rebelling against your mother since she had refused to accept to support your band. You lived buck-wild, mostly relying on Donghyuck for sustenance. You thought your hate for the people around you was reasonable because of your parents, so you closed off everyone, including Donghyuck. You rebelled and used people as much as you liked, you thought it was only fair you'd reciprocate the hurt the world had given you. But after meeting Mark, it felt like a breath of fresh air, he made you feel alive, like you still had a chance to do the right thing.

"I just don't want to ruin things with him, he's... different" You whispered softly, gripping his silk button-up. Donghyuck laughs cold at this, switching your positions so that you were the one with your back against the door, he cages you against it, making you feel small as he traced your jawline.

"What? are you into virgin college boys now? do they turn you on that much?" he chuckled wickedly, his eyes stared deeply into your own.

"We both know you're never capable of love princess, you like playing with feelings. Because in the end, I know you'll end up breaking this boy's poor heart because that's who you are..." his voice ends up becoming a whisper in the end, his lips inching closer to yours, and without knowing it he presses his lips against yours.

To your shock, you kiss him back for a few seconds but realize what you were doing. You pushed him away to slap him again, he holds your palm in his hand, he harshly holds your wrist against the door. You try to wriggle free from his grip but you stopped when you looked at his face. He had his forehead against yours, tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes were closed but you could hear his sniffling as he tried to collect himself. It was now that you finally realize how much you had hurt him. You didn't know that he was this affected by your break up since he had easily agreed to it. You were also blinded by your selfishness, your anger towards the world that you didn't know you were already hurting someone so important to you.

So you soften up, remembering that this broken guy who stood before you was still your best friend. Your best friend who stayed with you when you were at your worse, your best friend who loved you unconditionally even if you drove everyone away.

"That's exactly who you are, you're a heartless monster." he cried, you silently agreed with him but you kept your mouth shut, willing to listen to him finally tell you his feelings. You have been an asshole for most of your life, and you knew it, so you thought this was the least you could do for him. You didn't think much of Donghyuck’s feelings in the past, so it was only hitting you now, he had truly loved you. Even if you were the most flawed person. Even if you were the sad little girl who was too scared of the world, the little girl who believed that everyone was out to get her. He had loved you fully, through and through, even if you had intentionally cheated on him.

"I'm sorry" you whisper, finally realizing how cruel you were these past years. You hated yourself, you truly did. You hate yourself for playing with his feelings, for leading him on when you didn't really have feelings for him back then. You used him for your enjoyment not thinking of his emotions, you used him as an escape from your reality, your troubled past. You truly were a monster and it was finally made clear to you.

"Then take me back," he whispered, he sounded so broken that it took a while for you to register what he said. You didn't reply and he looks up to meet your gaze and your heart breaks.  

"After all this time, I'm still so into you, so please... just give me a chance to be yours again" he begged, you knew he was ready to beg on his knees if it weren't for your current position, you could feel the shiver run down your back because of guilt.

"Donghyuck." you sighed as you took his face into your palms, you look into his eyes and you could see the glimmer of hope behind them, hoping that  you were about to say yes to his offer, but to his disappointed you only caused more heartbreak.

"I really really like Mark... and you were probably right, I'm so fucked in the brain that I didn't even think of your feelings back then. Of how real your emotions were for me, I thought we were just casual, but it seems like you really..." you trail off thinking of the right words to say

"loved me. I'm so sorry for being a fucking asshole, I have no excuses. Being hurt by my parents gives me no reason to hurt you back, so you don't have to accept my apology, I don't deserve it... But I’m doing what I think is best for us right now, I'm kicking you out of the band"

Donghyuck's eyes widened at this, his hands desperately clasping onto yours as he tried to bring his lips back to yours. He didn't know why he was trying to kiss you, probably it was because of the alcohol in his system, or most likely desperation. But all he knew he wasn't ready to let go, to say goodbye to you just yet, so he tried grasping for any piece of you he could as you removed his desperate hands from your body, both of you crying as you tried to push him away for good.

"What do you mean? why do you keep pushing me away like this?" he cries out as he hugs you, you pat his back.

"Because this is wrong, and it's time for you to be happy." you freed yourself from his weak grip, he tried to fight back but you insisted, it finally hit him that this was inevitable, it was finally time for you to say goodbye.

"Thank you for everything" you whispered, and with a final slip of his grasp you were gone. You had opened the door and left him in the bathroom, broken and lost.

“Yeah, after all this time, I'm still into you.”

Part 2

[tipsydipsydo]

➳ Virgin! AU

➳ Foursome; soft Sex

Pairing: Yoongi x virgin! Reader x Taehyung x Jungkook

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: ~1k

Genre: Fluff; Smut

Warnings: Sexual Language + soft Dirty Talk; Polyamory Relationship; virgin! Reader; first experiences; talk about boundaries/consent; Petnames; Praising; Worship; (double) Fingering; everything is really kinda soft~

A/N: After some time I've finally written another drabble again and I hope y'all like it. It's really soft and sweet!

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「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

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Thank you.

Small breathy pants and whimpered moans are leaving your swollen lips, everything is so new for you and you don’t really have a clue how to handle all these new feelings which are running through your inexperienced system. You’re biting down onto your lower lip once again, trying to suppress the urge to vocalize your desire and need, no matter if they’re just noises or messily spilled out words. Obscene yet so arousing squelching sounds are filling the room, the combination of all these things let your whole body trembles in sexual ecstasy. 

Both of your legs are bend up to your chest by one of Taehyung’s and Kook’s hand while two fingers of their other hand are buried deep into your tight pussy. Fingering you slowly with four fingers in perfect synchronized harmony open. As if that wouldn’t be already overwhelming enough, Yoongi, who is sitting behind you and supports your shaking body, is flicking mercilessly with his index and middle finger over your swollen clit. 

Flustered and hiccuping you turn your head toward the crook of Yoongi’s neck, hiding your face away from Taehyung’s and Jungkook’s attentive and curious eyes. They are a little too attentive for your own taste. 

Unfortunately your sudden movement let Tae’s and Jungkook’s Hands slowing down, Yoongi’s fingers on your clit pauses as well. All of them are taking their hands away from your private area and letting your legs go down, respecting your privacy. Well, this is something you absolutely didn’t want to happen, which is why a desperate mewl flees out of your mouth that you couldn’t control anymore. 

A deep but loving chuckle rumbles through Yoongi’s chest, wrapping his left arm a little tighter around your torso und pull you closer to his own body. It’s just a sweet little gesture but it gives you a sense of calming support, helps your poor heart to slow the rapid pace of your heartbeat down again. 

As soon as your hitched breath regulated itself again, you turn your head hesitantly back to your two other lovers. Both of them welcome you with a gentle and heartwarming smile, rubbing the big palms of one of their hands soothingly over the sensitive skin of your thighs. 

“Oh Angel, are you sure that everything is fine? Are you uncomfortable with anything we’re doing? Please tell us when something doesn’t feel good for you! We really care with our entire heart for you and we want that you feel good and safe with us.”, questions Jungkook and lift gently your chin, so he is able to look into your eyes. 

You press unconsciously your lips together into a small line and nod, still flustered from the behaviors of your own body and voice. You want to explain what made you so shy and embarrassed out of the sudden, you really want to... but your throat is so dry in this moment, not a single word wants to come out of your mouth. 

“Besides that, don’t be ever ashamed of anything, there’s no reason for any shame about how your body responds to our action or what noises you make.”, says Jungkook softly and lean over to you, cupping one of your cheek and press a sweet but short kiss on your lips. Trying to clarify the meaning behind his words. 

“Moreover... -and I think everyone of us can agree with that- your moans and whimpers are really fucking attractive, I love them so much and they’re driving us crazy, Baby. Not to be too open and blunt but... I think we all are rock hard thanks alone to your delicious noises.”, add Taehyung and flash one of his very well known boxy grins at you. You’re too cute for your own good, Tae couldn’t resist to send you a slightly teasing wink afterwards. 

“U-Uhm... I-I just... I’m not really used to get touched by someone else and to make such noises... usually when I touch m-myself, I don’t really express my feelings with m-moans or something like that...”, you mumble quietly, looking down onto Yoongi’s hand which holds you close. Even though you trust all of them with your whole heart, you just can’t put your shy and overthinking nature completely down. Maybe that’s why you struggle so much to let yourself go, to give all control away and to simply enjoy what’s happening tonight. 

“That’s absolutely okay and completely valid, Sweetheart. We know that everything is a complete new experience for you and that’s why we try to make it as good as possible for you. To make sure you’re not overwhelmed or that we didn’t infringe your boundaries. What do you think, are you comfortable to move on or do you want to stop here?”, asks Yoongi is his deep, raspy voice and draws small circles with his thumb on the skin of your pubic bone. He took his fingers away from your private parts like the other boys did, he wouldn’t touch you there until you didn’t gave them explicitly your consent that you’re comfortable with their actions. 

“Please... please continue with what you did before... I-I really want this here, I’m just a little shy and flustered sometimes. Please... I need it.”, you whimper out in a shaking voice, encourage them with a needy buck of your hips. 

“Okay, Babygirl... you’ll get everything you want. Just communicate a little more with us, yeah? This here is a safe space, you can demand and deny whatever you’re comfortable or not with.”, makes Taehyung with a small smile clear before his middle- and ringfinger join Jungkook’s fingers in your core. 

Soon after they continued with their work to pleasure you, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut even if you wanted to. Now, you couldn’t care less about those stupid and unimportant things. The one and only thought which dominate your clouded mind was the chase of your high. You’d do everything for your lovers to earn this incredible and mind numbing orgasm they build up in your body. 

“Oh Princess, you’re did so well. Let yourself go, we are here to catch you when you’re reaching your high. Come for us.”, rasps Jungkook in his hoarse and arousal drained voice. 

That was all you needed to see Heaven. 

[oftenderweapons]

Not sure if this counts as a Drabble I’m not really familiar with it sorry! So you can ignore if you want but maybe you can do a list of BTS and the OC’s favorite kinks

[A/N: this took a very long time coming, mostly because it was a lengthy job. Sorry for the wait nonnie, I hope it’s worth it 🥴😉]

Okay! I sort of assembled this as a mix of short headcanons (there are six to eight each — also I got carried away with Jk, he’s got eleven but some are like, are more lowkey). They’re divided couple by couple and I’ve tried to be as realistic as possible, which means that some couples have some kinks in common, especially since I stayed on more well-known kinks and fetishes that represent each couple’s go-to. I do think they explore less popular kinks other than the ones I listed, however they might not go there that often.

You’ll be seeing some of these soon ;) [ILLICIT AFFAIRS WON I AM CRYING]

Uhm. Obviously there’s a lot of stuff I have to include in the trigger warnings, so bear with me. 

This is obviously 18+

TRIGGER WARNINGS: discipline (brat taming, sub training), impact play (spankings, paddle, flogger, riding crop; both on ass and breasts), marking, dirty talking, choking, masturbation (male and female receiving; mututal), squirting, several fetishes (uniform, shoes, feet, voice), cock worship, breast worship, powerplay (DDLG, daddy kink; domination; mommy kink; Primal/predator-prey dynamics, pet play), orgasm control and deprivation, role play, food play, cum play/cum eating, pain kink, sensation play, temperature play, edging and overstimulation, phone sex, cyber sex, bondage, torture play/forced masturbation, tickling, anal play (buttplugs, strap on, rimming, penetration), degradation kink, corruption kink, voyeurism and exhibitionism, outdoor sex, cockwarming, oral sex (male and female receiving; facefucking male receiving; mutual), sex toys (nipple clamps, dildo, vibrator)

Not exactly kinks, more like attitudes: experimentalism, intimacy, sapiosexuality

Check out my masterlist here 

Enjoy 💜✨

Namjoon and Vixen

Daddy kink; brat taming

I think it’s sort of a given, but it also needs to be included. Vixen’s first relationship was when she had just turned nineteen, with a man quite older than her. They were together for a couple years and he significantly shaped her needs in terms of intimacy and sex. Her parenting figures were really weak and she grew up with a nanny who taught her her second language, French. Namjoon — being always a very responsible very nurturing figure within the group, and somehow having the role of a mediator — is used to stubborn, hot-headed people and would probably be a bit bored with someone incapable of giving him a bit of attitude. This said, it comes quite natural that Vixen (although she is a very smart, very elegant young lady) looks for guidance in her partner, and after the responsibilities that come with her career, she looks for someone who can take decisions for her and even control her private life a little, like check that she eats and what she eats, or pick what she’s going to wear for the day. On the other hand, Namjoon likes being taken care of in other ways, namely cuddles and homecooked meals, which Vixen offers profusely. Her childlike, unconditional affection is exactly what makes Namjoon baby her, and such behaviour on his behalf encourages her to rely on him even more, letting him pamper her and spoil her. And in terms of bratting... Well, Vixen likes seeing him lose his cool — because a sick part of her (she knows it’s sick) gets horny seeing Namjoon angry. And Namjoon in returns gets even more cool and composed the more she gets feisty. He calls the shot, may she like it or not. The point is that with some cuddles, soft words (and a few good spanks) he always manages to tame her.

Spanking

Vixen likes getting spanked. And Namjoon is obsessed with her ass. He is an ass and thighs man. Fight me on this one. Nothing turns him on more than seeing her flesh quiver after the impact of a good spank. Vixen likes it simply because it condenses three of her favourite things, discipline, punishments and pain kink. Spanks are delivered both as a reward and as a punishment, and Namjoon knows how to make a distinction between the two cases, although he much prefers delivering them as a reward, since he hasn’t got much of a pain kink, and painful activities are a soft limit for him, both in terms of giving and receiving. He approves that kind of pain that is simply aimed at enhancing pleasure. Vixen really likes spanks delivered with the bare palm of a hand, since those are the one that she perceives as the most “educational”; however she also likes the paddle, the hairbrush and other more tricky devices (that you will discover soon *wink*).

Marking

Namjoon is crazy for marking Vixen. He is very jealous of her and their relationship staying on the low means that he can’t actually claim her publicly. They both try to protect their relationship for as long as possible, and I can quite see him deciding to keep it private until he’s been married to her for a while. But he’s gonna mark his baby, especially in spots that are only his and hers to see. His absolutely favourite spot would be her hip tattoo, of course, where he always places the first hickey of the night; next her inner thighs, her crotch and her breasts (lovely tiny cherries, he loves them the most). When she allows him, he also leaves hickeys on her neck and chest. Obviously her butt too. He also likes biting, especially her ass (until he leaves bruises and/or actual indentations) and her inner thighs — the softer parts. Vixen also marks him when he’s not on a schedule, when they’re on vacation and they can let loose a little. He especially likes it when she leaves scratches on his back and shoulders, but he also enjoys hickeys on his chest and thighs when she’s on her way to giving him head.

Sapiosexualilty; dirty talking

We all know these two have filthy tongues. They’re sapiosexuals, so they’re turned on by mind games, smart use of language, verbal sparring etcetera. They’re both readers and intellectuals, which means they enjoy a polished, often obscure use of language. They’re the most likely to send each other texts (or even emails) where they simply wax poetic about fucking each other. They can literally send a text at nine am about some spicy play they intend to do later that night, let excitement build all day long and — as soon as they get home — they wait and see who’s the one that surrenders (spoiler: usually Joon because Vixen is a brat and brats are tough eggs to crack). In bed, Vixen loves listening to Namjoon’s voice, no matter if he’s talking about how good it feels to be inside her or if he makes romantic love declarations in midst of a rowdy fuck. Also they might argue while they have sex or pick stupid fights just to release some tension (totally the type to start a discussion as they choose the mirror for the bathroom, Vixen picking round while Namjoon picks rectangular, embarrassing the shopping assistant as they get into hard bickering heavy with sexual tension).

Choking

This is a new one, to both of them. Vixen had never toyed with it before, since she risked drowning when she was a child so she’s not a fan of anything that involves breath control. Still, she didn’t imagine she could be turned on by choking her partner. The first time Namjoon grabs her wrist and brings her hand to his neck she freaks out a little, but then she gets a grip (haha) and realises that seeing him that fucked out, and hearing him moan like that is something most definitely turning her on. Namjoon has a sensitive neck and chest, so having Vixen touching him there makes his soul leave his body; furthermore, the level of trust required leads us right onto the next kink.

Intimacy

I realise this is not exactly a kink, however it is a necessary condition for things to get sexy between these two. Namjoon and Vixen need special closeness for things to work out. Talking, flirting, but also sharing physical closeness and affection, occupying the same mental space. They don’t need to be making love for things to be very emotional. Even the angriest, rowdiest of fuckings to them is actually a very fond way of saying ‘I love you’. I think that out all the kinks this is the most difficult to explain. I suppose this is what makes them incredibly talented even at good ol’ plain vanilla.

Mutual Masturbation

I think these two just do that a lot. They’re extremely comfortable with having the other watch as they touches themselves. I think it started with Vixen being her shameless, teasing, kinky self and Namjoon being incapable of holding back, and then it naturally evolved into both him and her openly touching themselves for the other to see. I think they learn by watching so observing the other and seeing how they do it is how they master their technique.

Lingerie and shoe fetish

Namjoon is obsessed with Vixen’s sexiness, how she carries herself, how much charisma and self confidence she can muster when she is almost naked. I’ve always seen Namjoon extremely attracted to Vixen’s body and seeing it there, with the bare necessities covered by expensive and lush lace and silk, or even in funny cotton drawers with innocent prints is a ticket to Nirvana for Namjoon. I bet you can imagine Vixen lounging on the bed, provocatoriously clad in black lace as she reads a book, and Namjoon entering the room, ready to pounce on her with predatorial intents.

Jin and Angel

Cockworship

We all know that Jin comes from several vanilla experiences, during which he always kept his basest instincts at bay. Once Angel gives him the green light, he’s not letting go. Angel loves celebrating his virility in all ways possible, showing how much she appreciates a part of him that he has felt ashamed of, in some ways. And Jin gets extremely turned on by the simple view of Angel kneeling before him, looking at him as he touches himself, begging to touch and/or kiss his cock. He gets wild with it, especially if you sum that up with Jin being especially interested in discipline. Watching Angel worship his cock with her hands, mouth, tits gives him that sense of power and authority that enhances his dominance and turns him into a cocky, power-hungry beast, ready to do anything to quench his thirst, fulfill his desires and almost entirely ignore Angel’s needs — don’t worry, she actually gets off to Jin getting what he wants on whichever terms he deems necessary.

Power play

Jin likes having power. Being more powerful than Angel is one of the mental tricks he uses to keep himself from going vanilla. The powerful position is what allows him to call the shots, choose what to do and actually claim what he wants and needs. Watching Angel kneel in front of him, with her eyes low until he calls for her attention is one of his biggest turn-ons. And Angel is way more than okay with this: watching Jin take control and knowing that she is pleasing him, that any activity they’re getting into is bound to make Jin loud and messy and fucked out, is the strongest aphrodisiac. When in a vanilla mindset, Jin can’t quite understand (yet) what pushes Angel into pleasing him and how much his pleasure means to her, as they’re still at the beginning of their sexplorations. The more they get familiar with each other’s roles and needs, the more Jin finds pleasure in ruling over Angel and watch her stare at him with her big, beautiful, hungry eyes.

Orgasm control/deprivation

Jin’s need for power manifests in different ways. The fact that Jin comes from several years of vanilla and self control, and Angel has gotten used to their calmer approach to intimacy and sex, makes them both quite good at sexual deprivation. He can easily deprive her for weeks, or deprive himself: when he’s depriving her, his favourite activity is having her kneel on the floor, naked and touch himself until he cums on her breasts; when he’s depriving himself he likes eating her out for at least two or three rounds, until she’s begging for him to fuck her, completely desperate and on the verge of tears when he denies her. Regardless of who is being deprived, when she gets whiny and emotional, he always makes sure to reassure her and remind her when the period of deprivation is going to end, telling her what he plans to do to her as soon as he allows himself to. About orgasm control — Angel needs training. And a very stern one at that. She is not used at that level of control, mostly because she’s used to a very loving, very attentive Seokjin who wants her pleased and pampered all the time. Orgasm control is most definitely the thing she hates the most out of all her training; the only factor keeping her from truly hating it is how Jin turns soft once she manages to complete a task successfully, praising her and letting her have more control — either turning the scene into vanilla lovemaking or letting her turn the tables and ride him until she’s happy and sated.

Role play

Jin sometimes needs help getting into an aggressive, authoritative mood. Luckily, he is a great actor and he know exactly how to get into character. He would often assume a role out of the blue, letting Angel choose what position to occupy — although his all time favourite is teacher-student. It allows him to get into the strictest, harshest forms of impact play, having lots of fun watching sweat, drool and cum stain Angel's uniform, or watching her breasts burst out of her schoolgirl blouse. On a minor note he loves using a paddle or a riding crop on Angel, making her bend over the edge of the bed and flipping her skirt up, spanking her until she's begging, only to sit on the bed and put her head between his legs, tugging at her pigtails (but never letting himself go too deep — he has no interest in seeing Angel gag on him, it's his own hard limit before being hers). Other types of roleplay he likes are doctor-nurse or doctor-patient, landlord-maid, pilot-hostess and obviously chef and waitress, which leads us right to next prompt.

Food play

Angel loves Jin's cooking. She loves watching his wide shoulders in front of the stove, she loves hearing him hum when he tastes something good, she loves him leaning over the table and offering her some food from his fork. She especially likes seeing him so passionate and dedicated, and she loves showing enthusiasm for a hobby that is so dear to him and on which he puts so much effort. Food play is mostly a way to set the tone for passionate, steamy lovemaking, where he worships every inch of Angel's body with his lips. Angel has developed an involuntary reaction to seeing his special cookbook on the small prop by the stove. Wetness coats her thigh as soon as she sees his messy handwriting on the page, signaling that he is indeed preparing a sauce or cream for kinky play. He really likes playing with frozen fruit and ice cream or watching Angel squirm as chocolate sauce tickles her while dribbling down her breasts. He is wicked. And also awfully gluttonous. Angel spoils him and is spoiled with this specific kink of theirs. It was the first kink they explored even when their relationship was still vanilla.

Pain kink

Not much explaining to do. Jin goes absolutely wild with riding crops and paddles. There’s nothing more exciting than watching Angel push her chest towards him, trying to convince him to remove her nipple clamps as she writhing underneath him.

Cum play

There’s nothing more exciting for Jin than watching his cum stain Angel’s breasts, or pulling out at the very last second to cum on her belly. Another thing he loves is to jerk off and make Angel wait with her mouth open, ready to welcome the head of his cock as he finally reaches his climax and spills inside her, telling her not to swallow and open her mouth to show him how much she loves the result of his pleasure before closing her mouth and swallowing, and showing that she took every single droplet of it.

Yoongi and Kitten

Sensation play

Kitten is a bad bitch. She gets off at having Yoongi moaning, squirming, whimpering and groaning underneath her. And Yoongi is so sensitive. It would be a shame not to toy with that. She likes giving him head and edging him, putting him through the absolute worst. He gets weak whenever Kitten blindfolds him, pours warm massage oil on him and procedes with the most relaxing touches and caresses. He gets whiny and desperate whenever she chooses to bring ice cubes to the bedroom and he gets absolutely wild whenever her bullet vibrator is aimed at him instead of her. Kitten is a menace — and maybe a bit of a sadist — but it always feels so sweet once she finally offers him release. Yoongi might consider it torture, but in the end he really, really loves that.

Choking kink

There’s not much difference: choking... being choked... both are okay with giving and receiving. Kitten has a sensitive neck and chest, which means any action there is a huge turn on. Her sensitivity there means she usually covers her upper torso, since it being even slightly exposed makes her feel vulnerable; plus she often needs to hide hickeys and bruises anyway.

Oral fixation; face fucking

Kitten loves giving blowjob, Yoongi loves placing his mouth anywhere on Kitten, especially on her lips, her chest and between her legs. Yoongi has given hints about... Uhm... Oral skills. I think he'd be glad to spend hours between Kitten's legs, and since she wasn't entirely confident with receiving oral sex (her ex was a prick), he is more than happy to take things slow and help her rebuild enough confidence to literally have her climb him while he's laying on the bed, and unashamedly sit on his face and ride it.

Voice fetish

When Kitten and Yoongi met, both were attracted by each other’s voice and throughout courtship and dating they both loved listening to the other talk. Yoongi knows his voice is attractive, and he is incredibly attuned to Kitten’s slightly deep, very soft and quiet voice. She has a velvety timbre that is so relaxing and exciting at the same time. He could get wild at her whispering in his ear, feeling her lips graze against the shell of his ear. However, Kitten would be equally weak if he did that to her.

Phone sex

Since they both enjoy listening to each other’s voice, and since Yoongi travels a lot, they are really into phone sex when they’re too far apart, or when Yoongi needs to stay at the dorms or if they feel extremely needy in the middle of the day. Even when he’s on tour, they prefer phone sex to kinky video calls.

Breast worship

This kink, paired up with Yoongi’s oral fixation, Kitten’s sensitive chest, and cumplay just explains how much exploring there is toward this direction. There are no limits: sensation play with ice cubes or warm massage oil, wax play, food play, boob jobs, a lot of nipple teasing… Kitten is open to experimenting and Yoongi is more than aware of what could feel nice and what would be utter torture. And he wants to try it all.  

Cumplay and Cum eating

Yoongi is not afraid of things getting messy. He likes having Kitten’s juices all over his face, licking them off his lips and fingers: he doesn’t need her to taste like watermelon or smell like rainbows and unicorns. He wants a woman, real and messy. He loves the salty taste on his tongue, and he can tell when she’s close to her period for how the taste of her changes. Plus, he loves cumming on her breasts, especially if his semen accidentally marks her pretty, lacy bras. 

Hoseok and Giggles

Handjobs; squirting

Hoseok’s hands are a blessing. But his fingers are a gift of the devil. They were made to sin and torture. Giggles is very sensitive on her own account. That paired up with Hoseok’s skills makes for wild nights of soaked sheets — luckily enough they buy an impermeable blanket pretty much at the beginning of their relationship.

Impact play; flogger

Not only Hoseok’s hands are a blessing, but those wrists are stretchable. Fluent. They’re perfect for cracking a whip. Or a flogger — he is a bit afraid of using a whip, and it takes a lot of space… However, floggers? He smiles wickedly whenever Giggles gets close to him on Thursday or Friday and casually sits on his lap, hooks an arm behind his neck and leans in close. “I don’t have my Monday shift… Do you think we could… Play with the flogger?” She asks, a bit insecure. He usually plans scenes for Saturday night, so he can have all the aftercare equipment ready and he can spend all Sunday taking care of Giggles. If he can comply to her request, he hugs her close to him and reassures her as they start planning more details.

Bondage

By now it is canon that these two have taken lessons, that they have personalised ropes that Giggles had to prepare personally. Although she’s more precise and diligent in knots, Hoseok is also very attentive and prepared; they often discuss bondage scenes, even over dinner, talking about how the scene will play out, which types of knots to use, how to secure the rope, et cetera.

Experimenting

As I said, they are both absolutely okay discussing stuff they want to try. It isn’t uncommon for them to be watching a movie and suddenly something appears — even something as banal as a clothespin or a makeup brush —  and suddenly one of them is going: “We could use that in bed”. It isn’t uncommon for them to discuss kinky stuff during the week, planning scenes over dinner, or while they’re chilling, or whatever.

Torture play; Overstimulation; tickling

Hoseok likes seeing Giggles writhing and tossing underneath him. He likes torturing her with overstimulation, giving her orgasms back to back or making her squirt so many times that she passes out — it only happened twice and he made sure she drank almost two litres of water afterwards to make sure she didn’t get dehydrated. He also loves her laugh and her nickname comes from the lovely, happy sounds she makes when he coaxes a laugh from her. He loves tickling her to tears, her silvery voice erupting in chuckles that fill his heart with joy.

Shifting positions; multiple rounds

Hoseok has stamina and flexibility. He can go for three rounds without even blinking. He’d manoeuvre Giggles in and out of positions, directing her, helping her put her body in place, following her movements as she shifts. She’s not always happy with all the moving around, especially when she finds a good position and Hoseok decides he wants to change it; however, he can be extremely convincing and he happens to remember all her favourites, putting them in a smooth, easy sequence whenever he wants to reward her — which is at least twice a month because Giggles is the most perfect little bubble.

Jimin and Princess

Exhibitionism

Jimin lives to be watched. His mannerism and elegance make him a performer, even in the plainest tasks. When Princess is watching him, he only exists for her eyes and her eyes only. Nothing gratifies him more than the loving, passionate glances she throws at him when with their friends, or the obscured and raptured ones when she’s dominating him, or the desperate, imploring ones when it’s his turn to call the shots.

Pet play

Jimin is a huge switch. He likes following his whims and is overall a brat, who just does whatever he likes. So, when Princess comes out of the bathroom before bedtime and finds him lounging on the bed naked with a pair of cat ears, his collar and her riding crop waiting on her bedside table, she knows exactly the kind of treatment he’s trying to get. Nevertheless, when in that mood he turns into the most obedient little kitty, so vulnerable and frail that Princess knows she shall treat him with velvet gloves (haha). Literally.

Edging and overstimulation

Princess likes it when Jimin gets messy and whiny and loud. She likes listening to him whimpering and whining while she uses her vibrator on him and makes him cry. It makes her feel powerful. It also makes her ten times softer afterwards and she just loves it when he hits subspace so bad he starts calling her mommy and begging for her to make him cum.

Anal play

Both Princess and Jimin are okay with giving and receiving. Princess is especially in love with double penetration. Jimin is very okay with rimming and putt plugs.

Spanking

Jimin has never really had the courage to try getting spanked before. He had his first experience with Princess, directing her thought the scene. He had learnt basic directions in case he ever needed to teach his partner, but he never thought it would actually happen. From there he and Princess get more comfortable with spankings and get even more involved in impact play, still spankings stay Jimin’s favourite.

Degradation

When in dom mode, Jimin can be vitriolic in his remarks, praising Princess with the dirtiest taunts. Some name calling happens, but Jimin never lets that get too deep. He usually opts for a patronising behaviour that questions Princess’ ability to live without him, and usually avoids anything outright insulting.

Breast worship

Jimin loves Princess’ chest. He likes touching her breasts, more than anything else, but this doesn’t mean he won’t slap them, suck them and fuck them every now and then.

[Sorry if I didn’t write much, honestly I’m still figuring these two out. I think it has a lot to do with Jimin being just so... mercurial. I can’t find another word. He is the least “steady” character in my head. I don’t know. I’ve always had problems with understanding Libras. He’s just so moody and so... It’s frustrating. I just have so many vibes coming from him it’s too much.]

Taehyung and Lace

Voyeurism; exhibitionism

While Jimin lives to be watched, Taehyung is all about the art of watching. Taehyung needs to watch Lace. It doesn’t matter if she’s putting on her lipstick or washing the dishes or brushing her teeth or sucking his cock. He will study her like a painting hung in a museum until he can close his eyes and imagine her exist like a hologram in his head. He loves watching her during sex and he indirectly loves being watched by her too. Lace has never felt so beautiful. 

Outdoor sex

I think they wouldn’t mind trying outdoor sex: the lack of available locations in Seoul initially discourages them, but as they start going on holidays together, geographic remoteness and private outdoor spaces start becoming characteristics these two actually look for in their ideal resort. Yes, they’re the type to fuck against a tree in the woods — or maybe on the beach, under the stars (with Lace taking the utmost care in making sure nothing goes wrong in terms of safety both to their healths and Taehyung’s career).

Cyber sex

With Taehyung travelling because of his job, it isn’t uncommon for him and Lace to become cyber sex experts. Not only he has videos of her safely stored away in a memory card he has basically stitched to his skin — he is hyperaware of it and they are extremely careful of anything that could possibly link the video to the two of them — but he's more than willing to plan videocalls where they can get carried away in front of the camera for the other's viewing pleasure.

Cockwarming

There’s nothing more relaxing and intimate to Taehyung and Lace than being physically connected after sex. After being so close, so together even for a rough, brief quickie, it is traumatic for them to part too suddenly, so usually Taehyung stays inside her for at least a bunch of minutes.

Oral fixation

Both Taehyung and Lace like putting their mouth on the other. Lace could live with Taehyung’s cock in her mouth, while he especially loves to bite her flesh, pretty much anywhere, or stare at her face while he suckles her breasts like a little boy. He could literally fall asleep while they’re facing each other, on their sides, suckling at her nipple while she handcombs his hair, the pressure slowly decreasing until he lets go completely, sound asleep.

Foot fetish

Both Taehyung and Lace are new to this and they're more than willing to explore. Expect Taehyung to grow increasingly addicted to them playing footsie underneath the dinner table, but also to get exceedingly turned on by having Lace's feet laying on his lap or crotch.

Squirting

Taehyung knows exactly how to touch Lace, massaging her after a long day, relaxing her whole body before his fingers end up inside her. His strong, sinewy fingers seem to be programmed to please her. Nevertheless, he is not prone to use this as a form of torture; he'd much rather use it to amplify Lace's sensitivity and help her reach further states of pleasure.

Anal play

I think Taehyung aims at possessing every inch of Lace's body, and of course he wouldn't mind one bit to rim, finger or fuck her ass. He'd be absolutely fine with buttplugs and double penetration. And don't think he would mind wearing a butt plug himself — I think he's the most likely to wear a tail-buttplug, probably. I also think he is by far the most comfortable with the idea of getting pegged: he knows his power and he knows it could never be undermined by Lace fucking him with her strap on.

Jungkook and Candy

Predator play

May it be playful or absolutely ruthless, Jeongguk loves hunting Candy inside his apartment. He loves playing hide and seek, he loves the rush he feels when he spots a hint, and he loves even more the adrenaline coursing through his body when he chases her down the corridor and picks her up, throwing her body over his shoulder — oh, and most of all he loves ripping her clothes off and taking her whenever he manages to catch her.

Corruption kink

Jeongguk’s predatory instincts get even louder when Candy is acting innocent, being her happy, playful, bubbly self. Go figure when she’s sleeping and her face is so soft and young and she has a slight pout and squishable cheeks: Jeongguk can feel his blood flood to all the right places, arousal and adrenaline mixing up, while his brain tries to stay calm, wake her up gently and ask for her consent.

Marking

It’s not that big of a thing to him, he might leave hickeys down Candy’s chest, but that’s mostly it. He’s shy and he’s not all that comfortable with other people seeing them. However, I decided to place this kink right here because bunny wants to be marked. He loves indentations and scratches coming from Candy’s medium-short nails. His all time favourite are scratches down his back, and small crescents on his shoulders and ass. Also lowkey scratches down his abs and thighs. He might go crazy the moment he’s not promoting or shooting and he can finally let Candy cover his chest in hickeys.

Degradation

When absolutely fucked out, Jeongguk starts rambling the most saccharine, degrading sentences to Candy. He has a rich collection of dirty pet names, sometimes with a patronising or humiliating undertone. He doesn’t do it coherently, he’s just not thinking and it feels that good. Of course he always apologises afterwards, but Candy has no shame whatsoever. He might apologise for calling her his fuckdoll, but she’s not ashamed of it, that’s exactly what she is. Hearing him speak those nasty words always gets her going since it shows how fucked out she’s getting him.

Praise

Jeongguk wants to be praised. His ego bursts when Candy praises him, openly or not. Candy whining while he hits the spot is one of the strongest praises she can offer him. He direly needs to be praised when in sub mode, matching the encouraging words with soothing touches and loving glances.

Mommy kink

Yes. They’re exploring a few things after it turned out Joengguk wanted to try. Apparently he’s enjoying way more than he expected. Especially when he’s playing chase with Candy and she grows tired, stomps her foot to the floor and gets her harsh tone on. He starts obeying in seconds. Overall a well.behaved baby, if a little lively and energetic.

Breast worship

Another great fan of boobs. He really loves fucking Candy’s tits, especially while she’s laying down and he’s sitting on top of her, straddling her ribs. His obsession worsens once she gets a nipple piercing: it becomes his favourite place to put his hand on before sleep.

Oral sex

Candy is the absolute grandmaster of blowjobs. She’s the non plus ultra. Blowjobs become Jeongguk’s favourite reward, especially when paired up with her cunt grinding against his face. He could die a happy man like that. After helping Candy get rid of her insecurities about being eaten out, Jeongguk decides he’d do that at least three times a week, almost planning a schedule to make sure he didn’t skip a day. He lowkey asks Yoongi for tips, trying to find new positions to test Candy’s resistance.

Cockwarming

Jeongguk gets very emotionally vulnerable after sex. He needs to talk about his insecurities and doubts, since he always feels so connected to Candy right in the aftermath. At the beginning, cockwarming is actually a consequence of him not realising he hasn’t pulled out as he rambles about everything that is going on inside his mind; however, as he gets used to that, he begins to do it willingly, feeling too naked and cold without staying inside her.

Multiple rounds

Jeongguk has a very high stamina. He can last two to three rounds — four if he’s going wild —, then go for some food, some water and/or a nap and be ready for more in a few hours. Candy is absolutely okay with it: he’s usually the one moving her like a puppet, so even if she’s exhausted, she doesn’t need to worry, he’ll do all the work.

Rough/animalistic sex

Jeongguk is not exceedingly into powerplay: any kind of power imbalance comes naturally, without any kind of planning or negotiating and what the others express in more niche activities, they simply express in very rough, very intense fucking. Especially when Jeongguk has just come home from the gym. Rather than using fancy toys or sophisticated practices, they much rather jump each other bones and fuck like rabbits (haha).

[philliamwrites]

killing me softly with his song | (Childe / Reader) [chpt.1]

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Pairing: Childe / Reader

Tags: #fem!reader, #from childhood friends to lovers, #reader is a fatui agent, #slow burn, #unresolved sexual tension, #mature language, #forbidden love

Words: 2k

Summary: "Lybuov zla, polyubish i kozla," sighs your sister as she wipes off the table, but that makes you feel even more miserable. Falling for a goat might save you from an actual heartbreak by Tartaglia's hands.

____________

Loosely connected chapters about you and Childe finding happiness. Maybe.

Notes: Part 2

Masterlist

***

childe? what a problematic asshole i hate him i- *trips* *thousands of pictures of childe spill from pockets* fuck those aren’t mine i swear i’m just holding them for a friend i- *slips on a pile of pictures* fu ck no they’re not mine i hate him i just- *more pictures fall out as i fall to my knees, desperately trying to pick them up* hang on a sec jUst LISTEN

Chapter 1

     A cold gust of icy wind drives you deeper into the sheets and you swear by the name of Her Majesty Herself once you get up and find Alexei, you’ll smother him with a towel for leaving a window open in the middle of the night.

    Somewhere outside, a rooster crows. Fine, not dead of the night then, but no one cares for technicalities like these when sleep is involved. Especially after a night like this one, when Alexei fucked you into oblivion and back, you need every minute of shuteye you can get before another day of exhausting missions in the Chechnaya Taiga of Snezhnaya claims your last strand of sanity.

    It’s peaceful mornings like these that make it all worthwhile though—the quiet during the early golden hour when people slowly wake up to a brand-new day and get ready to do their chores, their factory work. The sheer number of possibilities stretching out before their hands, and hope rekindled every morning despite the harsh cold waiting at their doorsteps. You love how everything stands still, how even the uncaring universe seems to grant people a sliver of peace, allows them to be soft and vulnerable. To be kind to themselves by indulging in a freshly brewed cup of coffee or tea. Nothing can spoil this for you, nothing and no one—

    An awkward cough sounds from the door. You close your eyes, willing him to disappear by simply ignoring him, but his eyes burn into the back of your head like two smouldering coals and eventually, you turn around to see Alexei standing in the door frame, shifting from left to right. “There’s someone out there who wants to talk to you,” he says.

    Turning around, you try to disappear into your pillow. “Whoever it is, I’m sure they can wait until it isn’t such a damn unholy time.”

    Alexei clears his throat. “It’s uhm … it’s someone from the Fatui.”

    Your eyes snap open. Suddenly the warm, cosy blankets feel like a snake’s tight hold around your body, and you struggle out of its grip, grabbing for the dressing gown you carelessly threw around the back of your chair last night.

    The sun hangs low in the east, painting the city of Kerch that stretches outside of your window a sheen of dusky gold. When the red-brown bricks of the dacha cottages come into view, you think of the gingerbread houses you used to make as a child every year in celebration of Her Majesty the Tsaritsa of the Zapolyarny Palace.

    Cold already seeps into your bones even though the robe is tight around your body. You hiss when your bare feet hit the icy floor but can’t find your slippers. Time to die like a woman.

    You brush past Alexei, who’s scratching his head, still just in his underwear and you think him crazy for walking around half-naked like that even though it’s minus 58F outside and the heating systems inside your barracks only start to work once outside temperatures drop to minus 75F.

    Maybe what they say is true. People from around Noyabrsk in the north of Snezhnaya regularly dip into frosty rivers and you do remember him mentioning ice swimming is his hobby. It was one of the few things you thought attractive about him. Actually, it was the only thing you thought attractive about him.

    Light streams into the floor from the kitchen, flickering once, twice in dangerous foreboding. It’s time to switch the lightbulb. Tomorrow. Tomorrow for sure, because that isn’t important right now. What’s important is Tartaglia sitting at your table, leaning back in a chair, both feet crossed on top of the table, and eating your leftover mayonnaise sandwich you saved up for breakfast.

    His eyes slide lazily toward you, taking in your form—barefoot, shivering even though the fur from your bathrobe is of the finest white wolf fur obtainable on the market.

    Tartaglia finishes your sandwich, smacks his lips and licks mayo off his fingers. He doesn’t even like it, and you know from time to time he can’t handle dairy all that well. He just eats it because he knows how it infuriates you.

    “Alexei, huh,” he says in lieu of hello. “Didn’t know you’re into himbos.”

    Behind you, Alexei makes a sound like a kicked puppy. You glare at him over your shoulder, then jut your chin towards the front door. “Out. Now.”

    He doesn’t wait for you to repeat yourself. Surprisingly fast for a guy this big, he bolts into your room, gets dressed in record speed and leaves your little one-bedroom apartment without so much as a Goodbye or “We’ll hear from each other,” and you prefer it that way. It saves stuff from getting messy.

    Speaking of messy, you really wish Tartaglia would have sent you a note before coming. The smell of icy wind and snowy forests clings to his clothes. He must have come straight from a mission, not unusual in the slightest, yet in most cases he sends a message your way just to make sure he doesn’t run into one of your one-night stands and it doesn’t get ugly.

    Like right now.

    “I thought you had a little more class than that,” he says nonchalantly. His feet keep wobbling from left to right until you make your way over and push them off your table. Not that you actually sit there to take your meals, no. But this is your home, you have to assert dominance.

    “Well, I’m not picky,” you say, taking the empty chair opposite from him. “The nights of Fyrva’snezh are really fucking cold.”

    “I’m sure Fire-Water will do the same trick.” He’s sulking, yet he has no right to it and knowing Tartaglia, that’s why he sulks even more.

    Your relationship can be summarised with one word: complicated. Which is funny, because besides martial arts classes (taught by a teacher that is a real ball of sunshine who could easily snap your spine like a twig) and infiltration tactics courses (led by a grumpy teacher who once woke you all up in the middle of the night to do a spontaneous quiz about infiltration steps and everyone who failed or fell asleep had to run a marathon through the forest in their underwear) you had to take at the Fatui military school of Zapolyarny, they also teach mathematics and molecular physics, and that shit was complicated.

    Growing up in a small seaside village—bless little Morepesok; how much you miss babushka Katya’s refreshing botvinia soup—with only a handful kids your age, gravitating towards Tartaglia was the natural development. He loves ice-fishing, you love eating fish. You gag just smelling solyanka, he wolfs it down like it might be his last meal on earth. Opposites attract each other, as they say, and how true it is for you two—you, the morning person and he, the night owl; his will of iron and your nerves of steel. Your bow, his sword, even though Tartaglia is a masochist who likes to make it hard for himself by trying to switch weapons solely because you’re better at it than him and he is a sore loser.

    His worship of Her Majesty the Tsaritsa, your fear of Her Majesty the Tsaritsa.

    “I don’t think you came all the way here just to call me a slut,” you say. He is in no position to do so anyway, because Camilla from the ptychy’moloko shop down the road that leads to the Sarov church didn’t shut up about blowing him for weeks until you sent her a liver of a pig and claimed that was the leftovers from the last girl that thought she could put a leash on the Eleventh of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers. Camilla quickly moved on to an inconspicuous merchant who sells matryoshka dolls for a living and all is well that ends well.

    “What do you want?”

    Tartaglia starts tapping a gloved finger against the wooden table, a nervous tick you don’t know he’s aware of.

    “I’m leaving for Liyue first thing tomorrow.” His tone is low when he speaks, his earlier nonchalance replaced by a sense of urgency.

    “Okay.” It isn’t the first time he’s leaving Snezhnaya by order of the Tsaritsa, but every time he does, something inside you leaves with him. “So, you want me to keep an eye out for Teucer and the others?”

    “He’s really unhappy I’m leaving again already.” Tartaglia doesn’t mention the reason he was sent away just a couple of months ago to Inazuma was because he accidentally blew up an artillery factory belonging to a nobleman that secretly shipped orders to Fontain. The fallout from that was easier to handle with him not being anywhere nearby. Tartaglia is like a pair of hot tongues; no one is sure where to put him or how soon he would cool off, but if they just drop him, he might light the world on fire. Kid gloves are put on and a careful perimeter marked out.

    “And what excuse did you make up this time?” You knock your foot into his leg, lingering on his calf just a second too long before withdrawing again. “Another business trip to promote your toys? You can’t hold up this charade forever, you know.”

    “Why, your eyes feast on Snezhnaya’s greatest expatriate toy seller, now extending to the Liyue Branch of our Institute for Toy Research.” Tartaglia’s eyes have taken on a playful glint, and he leans forward as he speaks. “You wouldn’t be so cold to break a little boy’s heart. That’s not you.”

    You want to remind him that you have no problem to put an arrow between a man’s eyes, or rip out his fingernails, one by one, to get the information that you want.

    “You owe me, toy man.”

    “Put it on my tab.”

    Tartaglia looks like there’s something else he wants to say, but as always, he decides to swallow those words even though they must hurt like swallowing needles. You know that feeling, and so you help him sort out his tightly entangled yarn of emotions by figuratively pushing him off the cliff.

    “Don’t forget to bring condoms. I hear the women of Liyue are beautiful.”

    Tartaglia goes a sickly grey colour, like the ashes of a dead fire, but he’s been the leading role of this play too long to fall out of character now. He gets up and stretches like a cat getting comfortable in a spot of sunlight. His jacket rides up, showing a stripe of skin, and you quickly turn your head away before giving into leaning over the table and mark him with your teeth.

    Patting his left pants’ pocket, Tartaglia says, “I’m always prepared.” He carries a grin that is dry, humourless, and for a brief moment, you two lock eyes, trading a look that feels like a dare. You allow yourselves to imagine how he picks you up and carries you to your bed where you two would proceed to fuck without abandon through the whole day and the following night, leaving the bed only to get food until Tartaglia leaves for Liyue and you’d send each other love letters until his return. What an idea. What an utterly stupid, naive, wonderful idea.

    “Well, lucky ladies,” you say, not bothering to hide the jealousy in your voice because jealousy is easier to handle than regret.

    “Lucky indeed,” he agrees and dons his easy-going smile, one that he’s perfected after hours upon hours in front of the mirror until it accomplished what he wanted: to mock people, infuriate them.

    On his way out, he stops to ruffle your hair in an affectionate way, one typical for childhood friends, but the distance between you is like the ocean separating Snezhnaya from Liyue.

    It was on the very first day of your conscription into the military organisation, Number Six of the Ten Laws that the Fatui abide by: Any physical or romantic relationship between Fatui agents is prohibited. As thou would not exchange flesh with thy brother or sister, so thou shalt not with your comrade, for he or she is thy brother or sister in arms.

    And everyone knows Her Majesty the Tsaritsa’s word is law, and though the law is hard, it is the law.

__________________________________________________

please drop by my ko-fi if you enjoyed my writing!

[pomegranates-and-blood]

νοσταλγία (Chapter 38)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: The usual, plus like a heap of angst (or my poor attempt at it), a lot of stuff around broken bones, and mentions of injuries. And holy shit a lot of Persephone/Hades talk. A lot of it.

A/N: I hope you like this, and I’m sorry if tis is ooc, everything I write for Ivar feels ooc lately for me, and tbh I don’t know how to get better lol. Thank you for reading!

You never really considered, when you decided to tell Ivar about the Greeks, that maybe your lies were never for the sake of others.

That maybe pretending to love Narses was not for him to be safe and comfortable enough to lay all he had at your feet, but for you to be able to pretend it was something purer, softer, gentler than revenge what drove you to start that hopeless war against the Christians and their God.

That maybe the reason why you would have wanted to hide from Ivar the survival of the Greeks was not for them to be safe from him, but for you to allow yourself to live in a fantasy where the borrowed time, the winter, could last a lifetime.

You never considered it, and now you live with a weight on you that for once is caused by you telling the truth. Sometimes you wonder about the irony of it all.

You insisted to Ivar that nothing changed, that nothing had to change, but we don’t change the past or the present by telling a different tale.

And so things have changed. In the few days that have gone by since Ivar learned of their survival, of your meeting with Galla, a lot has changed, but at the same time, enough remains the same for you to pretend otherwise.

Pretend you don’t notice Ivar falter and hesitate at the sight of your gentleness, pretend you don’t feel the sting of pain when he sometimes rejects your affection, pretend you don’t feel your chest pull tight in pain and something else -something like nostalgia- when his eyes gain this haunted look even in the middle of something as innocuous as having dinner together.

This morning, his eyes are bluer than you’ve ever seen them, and he’s very obviously struggling, much more so than the day you saw him snap a bone out of place.

You eye him carefully as he tightens the iron braces around his legs, following his movements from your place at the foot of the bed, sitting with your legs hidden from the cold under your body and under a fur you’ve draped over them. Your refusal to get up has been deliberate, if only an attempt to lure him into choosing to not over exert himself by pretending everything is as usual.

Carefully, you start, “I don’t think you should-…”

“Ah, but I didn’t ask what you think.” He interrupts, not looking at you.

He can be annoying and infuriating when he wants to be, you know that. Knowing it doesn’t make the swell of irritation within you any lesser, but it does help you push past it, and insist,

“Just…come back to bed. If not for your sake, for mine. I don’t want to see you in pain.”

“No,” He states, unflinching, unwavering. But there’s a raw edge to it, a tinge of desperation in his resolve. Ivar stabs the crutch on the ground with more strength than needed, squares his shoulders and lifts his head. “I don’t get to stop my wife from sneaking out of our kingdom while I’m gone, I don’t get to decide when she decides to leave me,” His nose furrows in anger, and yet all that overcomes him is determination, “But I get to control this.”

“So you’ll break your bones just to hold on to control?” You call out, but he doesn’t reply with anything other than a grunt, leaving you alone in your room.

____

After more than half a day spent working with the women at the apothecary, and pointedly ignoring Valdís’ glares when she questions just why her son insists on her dipping him on the river holding him by the ankle; your relative peace is interrupted by a familiar-looking thrall coming into the home asking for a solution for the pain.

You step out from near the hearth, and Freydis shares a glance with you and steps back from the man, who looks at you with wide eyes.

You almost feel sorry for the way he seems to either fear you or your husband’s wrath so much so that his words stumble over each other as he tells you Ivar fell while inspecting the walls and broke his leg, but your sympathy for him is quickly overshadowed by concern -and more than a bit of righteous anger, because you told him so- for the man you married.

You dismiss him with short orders, and when you turn around Freydis holds a batch of comfrey in her hands, not hesitating, not even needing your words, to help you gather what you need. Her blue eyes shine with warmth when you thank her.

You are in your room waiting for him -but pretending not to by busying your hands with a mixture of chickweed seeds and primrose- when you hear the familiar pattern if Ivar’s steps, though they sound slower and more faltering than usual, and are accompanied by sounds of pain that make you grit your teeth.

“What are you doing here?”

If you weren’t told he had injured himself, that…warm welcome would have certainly let you know something was wrong.

“Have you forgotten this is my room too, love?”

“You aren’t subtle.” Ivar says, unnaturally-blue eyes set on you, even as he steps further into the room.

You answer with a shrug, “Never pretended to be.”

“They’ve put a cast on it already,” He tells you, and you can’t help but notice him not directly acknowledging the fact that he broke a bone. You eye the lower part of his left leg for a moment before meeting his gaze again. Ivar insists, “I don’t need you here.”

“I want to be here,” You reply, before changing the subject and asking, “You’ve sent scouts to find out where my people are, haven’t you?”

Ivar straightens where he stands, making himself taller and bigger, even though it makes the pain he is in all the more apparent. You have half a mind to scold him, but you bite back the words.

“Want to know where they are?” He taunts, but your answer is instantaneous,

“No.”

You make him falter for a moment; you witness the faint trembling of the mask he so cruelly wears. And there’s an inkling of regret within you, a voice telling you to remember that all you have done -and continue to do- is take away certainties from Ivar. Even if it is defeated and painful certainties, for the man you love it is better to hold on to scalding iron than to have nothing to hold on to.

Then again, he took much more than certainties from you, you think, but your soft heart keeps you from following that line of thought too far down.

He doesn’t say anything else, choosing instead to move carefully to the bed. You hear him working on the heavy iron contraptions, and you try to keep your attention on your work, but your every sense is attuned to him.

“Your Goddess, and what Hades did to keep her,” He starts suddenly, startling you with the choice of topic. Still, you are grateful he no longer insists on trying to get rid of you. “You never thought it a trick, I know that.”

You never told him that. Granted, you never told anyone that, about how you always wondered if the temptation wasn’t really hunger, if the trick wasn’t one at all.

But it doesn’t surprise you anymore how Ivar seems to be capable of seeing you bare of all lies and pretenses. He has since that first time you met, since those first conversations.

You shrug your shoulders, and turn to him, still holding the mortar and pestle in your hands.

“We can be forced to do many things. Go somewhere, even if that is another realm; accept a title, even if it is one that implies binds of marriage. But we cannot be forced to be loyal to someone.”

“So you think she chose him.”

“Chose to love him, yes. For anything else, she didn’t have a choice.”

“Who did, then?” He asks, moving to settle better where he sits with a grunt of pain that you narrow your eyes at. “Your Hades certainly didn’t either, she still leaves him each spring. That isn’t a deal that sounds like a choice, hm?”

“You cannot change nature with a trick, Ivar.”

“Ah, but it wasn’t a trick,” He lifts a finger to point at you, annoyingly smug about his retort. “I think you insist on saying there wasn’t a choice to make because you don’t like accepting the choice made, wife.”

“Your mother worshiped the Goddess of death and you still insist she was good and pure?” The Viking woman sneers, fingers toying with the carved statue of your Goddess.

“My mother worshiped Despoina, there’s a difference. The God of death is Thanatos. Despoina, she is the Queen of the Underworld.” You reply cautiously, because you know she has to know the difference, and you have the strange feeling of walking into a trap. Eventually, eyeing Sieghild with a smirk when she purses her lips, you press, “What. You surely have something to say about that.”

She shrugs, reaching for her ale and drinking before replying, “Our queens are not usually married to their captors.”

“He gave her a crown in exchange for her hand. Would you refuse?” You scoff back, as if the answer should be as clear to her as it is to you. “Hades offered her himself and his kingdom, Sieghild. A king and his reign are no small bride price.”

She starts to show a smile that tells you that in her own language of runes and one-eyed Gods she sees a deeper meaning to your answer. When you were a child you would almost fear her tales of tortured Gods and strange creatures, but now you see in those tales of fall and triumph the same honor and the same glory that Sieghild sees in them, and you delight in talking with her about her Gods and your own.

“In your Godddess’ place, would you want a king or a kingdom, little one?” She teases, and you take a sip of your wine with a smile on your lips.

“Are we not talking of the Gods?”

“Humor me.”

After a moment of consideration, you offer, “A kingdom would limit me. A king would offer me countless kingdoms if I so wanted.”

The Viking laughs, in that way of hers that speaks of a life of freedoms women in your home could never dream of, green eyes piercing on yours when she asks darkly, “And you still believe Kore was stolen?”

Unable to hold back the anger born out of uncertainty, you snap, “Since when are you so certain of the stories of my Gods, Viking?”

Ivar offers a smile, surprisingly enough not a smug or a taunting one, and instead one that is almost tender.

He considers you, head titled to the side, before he states, “I wasn’t talking about any Gods.”

And you’re face to face with too many truths for you to breathe easy, so you clear your throat and return your eyes and attention to your work.

“Willow should help with the pain, as it did last time.” You tell him instead, gathering the small vial of dark liquid and almost cringing at what you remember to be the most bitter drink you ever tasted. You hand it to Ivar, who surprises you by not arguing and downing the awful-tasting tisane in one gulp.

As you return to your small table to gather rolls of thick linen and the mixture you’ve known by heart for a while, Ivar lays down on the bed, but he is far from willing to succumb to the pain or sleep, and watches you raptly as you move about.

His eyes narrow at the things you bring with you to the bed.

“And what is that for?”

“Salves and presses always work best, especially with injuries like these,” You explain simply, noting the way he immediately sets to argue and rushing to insist, “I want to help, and you have no reason not to let me,” You state, unwavering. For emphasis, you raise your chin and remind him, “I’m the best healer in Kattegat.”

“I didn’t marry you because you were a healer, I don’t need your help.”

“I could argue once again that there ought to be a reason why the woman you married is a gifted healer, but I know it would be pointless, since our marriage was fated by the Gods only when it’s convenient to you,” You point out, the slightest tone of tease in your voice, “Instead, consider this from my perspective.”

Ivar’s chest expands in a slow breath, but he bites, “Which is?”

“That the man I love is in pain, and I know how to help.”

“You already gave me the…the tisane that worked last. It is done with,” He offers, the tell of irritation and anger at being put on the spot like this clear in his tone as he speaks, “You don’t have to…touch them, or s-see them.”

“Ivar…”

I didn’t want you to…to see. Thought I could make you forget. He told you once, the mark of pain heavy on his stance and his expression, and an uncharacteristic resignation lacing his voice.

It surprises you, even though you know you should know him better than to expect any different, that a part of him, however quietened in these months of faint moments of pain and scarce episodes of what he perceives as weakness, still tries to keep his condition from you.

You know that rationally Ivar knows he can’t exactly hide it from you. From the way he walks, to the very clear tell of the blue hue of his eyes, there’s not much he could ever do to keep you from noticing.

But he admitted to it himself, to wanting to keep you from noticing the graver problems with his legs, to wanting to hide from you the way sometimes the pain gets to be too much to bear. In these last few days, it has become more and more apparent, with him adverting his gaze when you mention the blue tone of his eyes; refusing to let you see him bare even if he has seen you countless times since you’ve crossed that barrier days ago; and even now, after everything, not letting you do the one thing you’ve been taught to do all your life.

“You know you don’t have to,” He tells you, looking pointedly over your shoulder, refusing to meet your gaze but still too stubborn to lower his eyes. “J-Just leave it be, it will heal, everything will be n-normal soon, and I-…”

You interrupt him with a soft call of his name, silencing his protests and making his eyes finally meet yours. Your chest pulls tight at the apprehension and the uncertainty you see written in them, but you do not falter.

“Trust me?” Is all you ask, voice quiet and eyes set unwaveringly on him. Your stomach tightens as you watch the conflict in his expression, and pale blue eyes search yours looking for something you aren’t sure he finds because you don’t know what it is.

Eventually, Ivar takes a breath, a breath that you think was supposed to be a deep breath but sounds only shaky and sharp, and nods his head. You exhale slowly, knowing what it means that he allows you this, that he trusts you with this, and move further down on the bed so you sit on your side next to the length of his legs, your own folded underneath you.

You need only lift the left leg of the pants a little over his knee, but Ivar tenses and coils his body tight as if you are baring him of any armor. In a way, maybe you are.

Hands carefully folded over his stomach, you catch a glimpse of a tremble in them before he tightens his hold on his own fingers, knuckles white and the trembling once again under careful control. You spare only a glance, before completely focusing on his exposed leg.

It is frailly thin, though you didn’t really expect any different, and it looks knobby and bears many scars, some deeper than others.

You linger on the badly-set bone that has long since healed in a bad position, and wonder how long it has been since a proper healer has tended to a fracture like this. Still, the latest of the breaks has been properly set and the linen put around it seems strong enough.

You take it off trying to move Ivar’s leg as little as possible, and think what kind of cast the men and women that have taught you to be a healer would use for this, wondering what improvements or changes they would make to work around the braces Ivar wears, that you know are not made with comfort for a broken bone in mind.

“T-Talk,” Ivar orders gruffly, startling you from your work on the comfrey and the ganglong you are so lucky to have found all the way in Scandinavia. You lift your head to look at him, but Ivar doesn’t meet your eyes, looking intently at the ceiling. At your silence, he insists, “It is never good when you’re quiet. Talk.”

“About what?”

“Anything.”

“Are you in a lot of pain?”

“I said talk, not ask questions.” He replies shortly, clear tell of gritted teeth in his voice. You don’t know if because of annoyance or pain, but you are smart enough to figure that it is best not to ask.

“Well,” You mumble, blinking a couple of times before you find something to say, “I once was mentored by a man that could know where a bone had been merely splintered with but a touch. I am…not nearly as proficient yet,” You smile slightly at the memory. He was from so far East that the people that traveled with you used to whisper he was from another Empire, and he had strict ways but he was a good teacher. You continue, “I’m using a plant he taught me to work with. Helps with healing, and with swelling. Not so much with pain. Comfrey helps with that,” You recall another memory and chuckle to yourself as you press the salve onto Ivar’s cold skin, and continue, “I…I was taught comfrey is incredibly useful when healing broken bones when I just started working as a healer, and I was still young, and…careless. Once, my mother was badly hurt in a battle. She had some of her ribs badly bruised, and was also nicked by a spear. They wrapped her torso with treatment for her wound before her bones, of course,” You mention, wrapping the press of herbs with a linen around Ivar’s shin. You are careful not to jostle the leg too much in fear of causing him further pain, but he doesn’t complain, and you continue, “And I was, uh, I was really worried about her ribs, so I made her an infusion using comfrey. Turns out, comfrey isn’t very safe for people to…consume. Sieghild was awfully sick for more than a week, threatened to poison my food as retribution for almost a month,” You fasten the cast he had before once again around the thin calf, and your voice turns wistful when you finish, “And she never let me forget it. Every time I made her an infusion, she would make me list the ingredients I used for it.”

You finish your work and after rolling the leg of the pant back down, you move the warm blankets and furs to cover both his legs and yours.

You look back up at Ivar, moving up on the bed so you are almost level with his face, and for as long as he needs to, you lay there, eyes on his and comfortably close even if a part of you grows anxious and searches desperately for something to say to make him lose the cautious and almost afraid edge.

His hand first settles on your wrist, lingering for a few beats before it moves up to grasp at your fingers, and you squeeze back without hesitation, lifting your joined hands to press a kiss against his knuckles, smiling up at him.

The warm specks of a dying sun linger on the room and make it feel somehow warmer, and smaller, more yours.

“I won’t do anything to the Greeks,” He starts suddenly, startling you. You hadn’t considered he would, if you are honest. Whether that makes you incredibly naïve or it makes him something other than the man that chained you, you don’t know if you want to hear the answer. Ivar takes a breath, the only indication he intends to continue talking before silence reigns between you for a few heartbeats. His voice is quiet but unwavering when he promises, “I love you, and…I know I have to let you leave.”

For a moment, with his voice so strikingly alike what it sounded like the night you told him of the Greeks, where he repeated out loud certainties for you to reassure him of and him to hold on to; you wonder whether he is trying to give you a few certainties of your own.

You try offering a smile that speaks of jest, though you are certain something much more saddened than what you intend is the result.

“They are technically your people too, you know.”

He doesn’t acknowledge your words, looking intently ahead and taking a deep breath before offering,

“You insist it is easy, you insist that…that nothing changed. That I should accept whatever time is left and forget that I promised to allow you to leave me,” His voice grows angrier and angrier the longer he speaks, but when he takes a breath, the anger is overshadowed by something else, and Ivar continues, “It isn’t easy, but I-…sometimes I forget. Sometimes you look happy here, with me, and I…I forget you’re leaving me.”

Your throat feels tight at his words, and your heart beats quickly as if trying to outrun the pain that fills your chest.

At the pain you hear in his voice, a pain you put there, it feels like your heart, no-longer-yours and trying to leave your chest with each of its beats, asks you to admit the shame and the failure and the damnation of I wish I never had to leave.

But you can’t, you can only remain quiet and advert your eyes to the side even if Ivar isn’t even looking in your direction.

“I’m…I’m being torn apart,” He confesses in a breath that shakes past his lips, eyebrows slightly raised as his expression trembles, as his strength crumbles and breaks your heart along with it. “I want to-…Sometimes I forget you are leaving, and I can pretend you won’t have to make a choice, and I am…” You cling to the way his words hang in the air between you, not realizing you lean closer and stall your breathing as if to hear the confession, not realizing until that moment how desperate you are to hear that he feels happy. But he doesn’t say it, shaking his head and returning the hardness to his tone, “But at the same time I need to remind myself that you are going to make a choice, that you will leave, because if I don’t…”

The words hang between you, but you don’t have the courage to ask him to continue, and you also don’t have the words to reply with, so silence too hangs between you soon enough.

Ivar turns on his side with a grunt of pain, and you don’t hesitate to move closer and lift your arm, his head a comfortable weight against your chest and his breaths, though labored and still hinting at a pain you cannot even imagine, familiar and warm against you.

“You should sleep,” You tell him softly, your fingers running through his hair in what you hope is a calming manner. Judging by the way his eyes flutter closed, you dare believe it is. Without thinking, you promise, “I’ll stay with you.”

You intend it to be the promise to remain in this bed for as long as he does, to keep him company and do what you can with your voice and your touch to soothe away the pain; but the moment the words leave your lips it feels like a weight dropped on you, like the reminder of the choice you will have to make.

For a moment, a fragile moment that you barely give time to be before you smother the foolish fantasy away, you pretend this is a promise you can make, and that it can mean forever and not a night.

If Ivar notices your poor choice of words, he doesn’t give it away.

Still, at your silence he speaks out, voice rougher with the pull of sleep, his words a little drawled out.

“If it wasn’t…pomegranates, what is it that keeps her there?”

You know to him they are just tales, but his curiosity for the world that has made you who you are and the Gods you’ll always hold dear to you never ceases to be…endearing, in its own way.

“I don’t know,” You answer truthfully. “This isn’t what we discuss at the temple, this isn’t…this isn’t what we are taught.”

“Were you never curious?”

“I didn’t have time to be. I left Greece when I was still a child, and when I returned…it seemed fitting, that she was truly stolen of a choice.”

“You told me some say she walked into the Underworld.”

“Yet she was still trapped, that part never changes.” You smile sadly, and for a moment when you blink you see warm eyes and olive skin and a sad smile that speaks of a man fully aware of your lies and choosing to love you anyways, choosing to trap you anyways.  In that moment, you understand why her story meant comfort to you all your life.

She was the maiden taken forcefully from her home, forced away from her mother and her land; you were a child clutching a wooden statuette of her and watching your birth mother burn, with Sieghild’s rough and unfamiliar hands guiding you on a path away from Greece.

She was the woman forced to marry a man she didn’t love, by deals of the Gods that ruled over her life and by her own mistakes; and you were a monster, a desperate one at that, whispering promises of love in Narses’ ear, earning what you wanted alongside heavy chains to be put on you.

She was queen of a world that was so unlike her, and a wife to a man many called a monster, alone and nostalgic; and you were dragged here by Ivar and told that by the will of his might alone he would make you wife and queen, no matter how much you fought against it.

And…and then she was a woman laughing under a red veil, lips stained with pomegranates and blood, and the winter meant home and love and belonging; and you learned to look into Ivar’s eyes and see a future even when you knew you couldn’t.

Chosen by Persephone, they always called you, since long before your birth. Child of the flower fields of Eleusis, they thought you to be destined to be yet another Hiereia under the warmth of Attica’s sun; they didn’t see the hunger, the heart that belonged elsewhere, they never imagined you to be one destined to delve into another realm to become its queen and never wish to return.

Lost in your thoughts, in your revelations, for so long that you don’t notice the passing of time, you only gauge how long you were lost by the way Ivar’s weight is a little heavier on you; by the way he is relaxed and pliant against you, even if shaken occasionally by a shiver or a tremble of the aftershocks of pain.

“Maybe they don’t tell us about whether or not she had a choice because she didn’t,” You whisper, voice so quiet you barely hear yourself. In the deep rise and fall of his chest, even if still interrupted by the quiet staggering in its pattern due to the pain, you are told he isn’t conscious anymore. Still, you continue your soft caress of the side of his face, and you continue speaking, “Or maybe it’s because she did, and she chose…chose love. Seems awfully selfish, though, doesn’t it?”

Your mother, the mother of sad smiles and a lost war, always told you that between love and duty one must always prevail. Between the earth under our feet and the sky over our heads, between what we must do and what we want to do, we must always choose.

Maybe she was never speaking of her plight, or in some prophetic way of yours, when she told you those things. Maybe she too wondered what temptation truly meant, whether there had been a trick at all; and she was whispering the truth about the Goddess of spring disguised as a warning.

You doze off, your fingers still carefully running through Ivar’s hair and your senses still attuned to him and his pain.

You wake up not because Ivar does, but because you hear something. For a moment, you think it to be him, but as the daze of sleep leaves you, you realize what it is.

The cry of a hawk.

Your blood runs cold, and with shaking hands and a heart that beats furiously in your ears you move your body from under Ivar and walk to the small balcony that overlooks Kattegat.

The sky is darkening, once again too late for a hawk to be hunting. Once again, it is too close, and its cry is too familiar for it to be anything other than Galla’s trusted beast.

You watch with wide eyes as the hawk flies above you, shrill cries piercing your head and your heart.

And a part of you that has been for too long too cowardly to face not the choice, but what the choice you’d make would say about you and who you are; that part of you begs and pleads in that moment.

You plead for more time, but the Gods have granted you time already.

And you once pleaded for a choice to make, and now the Gods demand you make it.

“His name will be Zephyr.”

“Why that name? He isn’t the fastest, or the strongest, out of the winds.” You mention casually, and Galla doesn’t take her eyes of her beast, smiling widely as it takes a piece of meat from her fingers.

“Because Zepyhr brings forth life, opportunity, change,” She chuckles, before knocking her shoulder with yours teasingly, “I may not be as versed as you in the worship of Demeter and Kore, Hiereia, but I know the gift that spring is.”

“And so you hold a special place for the one that brings forth the winds of the spring?”

She shrugs, fearless as she reaches under the hawk’s head and scritches at its feather’s, making it ruffle them and accept her affection. It never ceases to surprise you, how easily the beast has taken to her.

“Zephyr is the one that makes change happen. He is the one that time and time again guides Despoina home.”

You accept her words with a sigh, and reach for the piece of venison on the plate at her side, offering the raw meat to the animal, and smiling when it takes sit, though much more guardedly than when Galla offered the same.

“You hope it can guide us home?”

She chuckles, goes back to petting it, “I know he can.”

You stand there and watch Zephyr circle the longhouse, the cries louder once he sees you standing there. But all you can do is watch.

There was a girl, you don’t think you’ll ever forget her. You saw her first and last while working as a healer in some dusty city near Kufa. You were ambushed during the night, the cavalry of some enemy army broke past the defenses and were nearing the camp.

The hooves of their horses marched wildly over the dry earth, and Sieghild was cursing in her own tongue as she guided you both to the safety the soldiers provided.

But this girl, this thin and frail Arab girl, stood there, not moving, not breathing.

The ground trembled under the enemy’s might, the soldiers around you barked orders and prepared to defend, but she…she stood there, and watched them come.

Like she could keep time frozen in her small hands if she didn’t move, like she could hold on to life for as long as she held her breath.

You called for her. She still didn’t move. You screamed when the horses trampled her. She didn’t move again, and you didn’t even find her body in the aftermath.

And now you stand there in the small balcony, looking at the darkening sky like that wide-eyed girl looked at those incoming horses, frozen like she was.

You hear Zephyr’s call echo through the high skies of Kattegat and it sounds like the hooves of a hundred war horses wildly marching on cold ground.

You told Galla if she was ever to need you to send Zephyr to the skies, and you promised you’d be there. She needs you; they need you, and you promised you’d answer. You are their Anassa, their Hiereia; for the titles you bear and for your mother’s legacy it is your duty to answer their call.

Your hands tighten on the wooden railing, but still you turn your head to gaze into the dim light of your room, Ivar still resting on the bed you share. He trusts you; he loves you, and in another life you wouldn’t have hesitated to promise him forever. You are his wife, the woman he loves; for all the love you have for him you wish that you could be only that.

It was never Stithulf, it was never pomegranates; what forced a choice, what forced a change.

It was spring. From the first of its winds, it was spring what would force you to choose.

You just hoped winter would last.

____ ____ ____

....so yeah, s p r i n g.

What do you think will happen?

I might post 39 on tuesday just out of guilt for ending on a cliffhanger, but we’ll see.

Thank you so so much for reading, please let me know what you think!

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[sopxhiea]

Moirai

Alfie Solomons X Reader

Summary: After the niece finally comes around and visits Alfie, she realises she is in dangerous waters with the biggest shark in the water.

Warnings: Age gap.

The italic text is in a foreign language.

Part 1 | Part 2

“I’m only here to establish and alibi.”

It was doomed from the start.

One didn’t need to have a good eye for this kind of stuff to see that. It was plain as day, if things kept going the way they were, no one would make out if alive or well. Somewhere along the line, things had gotten faster than anyone could have guessed and there were consequences that were not easy to deal with.

But that didn’t matter to you.

You liked broken things. The small vase you kept to yourself after breaking it on your fifth birthday was the proof of that. Things that stood out and were weird seemed natural, like they were easy to interact with, almost. You liked crooked ends and abstract things from the start so you figured this growing interest in the jewish gangster was just another interest of yours.

Although this ‘interest’ could potentially kill you.

He was from one end of the world and you were from the other. It was dangerous to say the least. He was doing business with your uncle but that didn’t mean that your uncle was fond of the man, he was just a little scared with the late rising his people were having around London. There were no guards with you, although you were sure your uncle had someone follow you.

You shrugged the thought away while entering the warehouse. The weather was chilly but there was still sun out, hence the dress you were wearing. The small heels you were wearing clicked gently against the pavement, it was quite a lovely day which almost made you forget that you were walking into the lion’s den.

After the day in your uncle’s office, he was suspicious of something going on between you and the jewish gangster but you’d just told him that he was nice to talk to. That was partly the truth and the part that you left out was the fact that he had invited you to his office and you were probably going to end up on his bed tonight if he played his cards right.

Knocking on the front door once, you heard footsteps from the large twin doors but it took some time before you saw the young lad’s face. It was a surprised Ollie that greeted you. You recognised the lad and gave him a small smile but he already knew you’d be coming around. His boss had ordered everyone to tidy up the place for the lady who’d be visiting and Ollie knew better than to assume it was Miriam.

“May I come in?” you asked, your voice sweet and for a moment Ollie forgot who he was dealing with and nodded eagerly before he led you through a couple corridors.

The warehouse was seemingly busy, a ton of barrels and curious men with wide eyes worked around the space you walked through. There were many hidden rooms and gateways as far as you could tell but you knew Alfie’s infamous bakery was simply a coverup. Ollie stopped in front of a large door before a long sigh left his lips and he knocked on the hard wood.

“In!” came the words from the other side of the door, gruff and grumpy just like the Alfie you had met a couple moons ago. 

You barely knew the man but you’d heard plenty on the streets. He was a murderer in the eyes of some: someone with too much blood on their hands whereas some worshipped him. He had a sense of authority in his side of the community which made sense given the power he held.

You were greeted with a busy man as he held his glasses around the bridge of his nose and tried to read the paper before him. He didn’t realise Ollie had someone behind him until he lifted his gaze to meet your shining orbs. His mouth opened for a second but he didn’t say anything and shook his hand to signal Ollie to leave and the lad was quick to do so.

“Nice place you got here.” you said, not waiting for any kind of invitation to sit on the chair in front of his desk. He eyed you as you took of your long coat and revealed an airy dress underneath.

“It took you long enough to see it, eh?” he spoke, amusement swimming in his orbs as he lifted his eyebrows and watched you take off your gloves. You kept eye contact until you were comfortable on the chair. 

Your gaze lifted to the office then, it was what you’d expect. Dust was gathering around the shelves filled with papers and books. There were ink stains on some of the folders and the decoration was all made of wood for some reason. Meeting Alfie’s curious yet patient eyes, your gaze dropped on his rings before meeting his blue orbs again.

“Had to make sure you weren’t inviting me here to kill me...” you spoke and he chuckled which made you smile slyly. “..or something of the sort.”

You both knew that was on the cards. It didn’t matter that your uncle had a good business relationship with the men, he could easily start a long line of revenge killings and give your uncle something to do, just because he could.

“Now, why would I fuckin’ do that, eh?” he spoke but it wasn’t a question and he kept on talking. “Yer uncle won’t be giving me an easy time if I end up hurtin’ you, I fuckin’ imagine, yeah.” he said, chuckling at the end of the sentence as a form of agreeing with himself and you let the man be.

He was beating around the bush which was highly unusual. Alfie didn’t do that and it was easy to recognise why. He needed to get his point across quick and waste no time but now he was acting like he had all the time in the world.

“Why am I here, then?” you spoke and he watched your painted lips move. Such a small body could be so dangerous, he thought to himself while your eyes glistened. You could mess him up real good only if you wished for it and Alfie was keen on giving the choice to you.

You know why you’re there but it’s just as fun to wait for his answer.

Unlike the men you’ve been with so far, Alfie happens to be smart. You can tell he reads from the way he speaks so fast, even though most words are mumbled together. The gold on his rings is not only an indication of his wealth but of the history he has behind of the oppression. You recognise the little traits he has, because you have similar ones.

That’s not to say you’re similar to him, if anything you’re a wolf and he’s the lion hunting you down. You’re no sheep, Alfie knows that which is why he’s intrigued. His eyes scan your amused ones before he clears his throat and speaks. You’ll look lovely panting underneath him, he concludes.

“I should ask you the same fuckin’ question, seein’ as it’s my work place you barged in.” he says in one breath but you catch and hold onto each word. This man has things he doesn’t tell anyone and they bother him, you can tell.

You give him a smile but it’s unlike any you’ve given. This smile matches your age and your story, it’s you he sees. “I’m only here to establish and alibi.”

He laughs then. You both know he can kill you right here without anyone knowing for the next hour or so and he would get into trouble for it but that’s not the point, the point is that he could. The man is almost thrice your size and you see the large hands that hold his golden rings intact, he can snap your neck in two if he wants.

But he won’t. Not just yet.

“What about yer uncle’s men, hm?” he asks, hand tugging at his beard as he eyes you. He knows you’re no here to play games.

That’s not correct.

You’re here to play one specific game and that is only if Alfie manages to play his cards to his advantage.

“They think I’m in my friend’s flat around Cambridge.” you speak, as serious as you can be and he doesn’t chuckle in disbelief like he usually would. He believes that, and that works out for you precisely because it is the truth.

“You ain’t here for a cup of tea, lass.” he says, it’s his way of saying that you’re swimming with the big shark and that the waters are very deep and unpredictable.

So what?

“Oh good! I needed you to remind me what I was here for.” you speak, sarcasm evident on your face and Alfie considers pulling a gun on you but he’s hesitant.

Lust and frustration, not a good combination.

He chuckles as your expression. You don’t seem to be clueless but he doesn’t quite know how to go about things as he watches you. You seem fragile yet there’s the slyness of a fox in your eyes. 

“Lass.” it’s almost as if he’s hissing but it’s just a low grunt. You just smile.

“Yes?” you speak with a low smile and you know he’s straining himself from doing certain things. You can see the white on his knuckles.

“You ain’t going’ to play safe, eh?” he spoke with a low smile. He wasn’t keen on playing very safe either but having you do it was much more fun.

You just shook your head. 

Alfie gathered, you were either too smart for your own good or downright reckless. You watched as he licked his lips, he’d look much better without the beard you thought but the look suited the jewish gangster he was known to be.

“Would you rather have me play safe?” you spoke but before he could answer, you were already continuing your previous questioning. “I don’t think that’s very fun.” you scrunched your face at the last word and smiled afterwards.

Alfie was going to have you whimpering beneath him tonight, he told himself.

“You’re forgettin’ who you are, yeah....” he swallowed but it was not a nervous one. He had been sending you signals to stop if you’d wished to but you were going with full force. “..who your fuckin’ uncle is.”

But you knew who your uncle is, you knew it damn well.

You clicked your tongue first and shook your head second. This man was showing to be even more promising that you’ve thought and it only amused you further. “I don’t forget those things, believe me...”

And you didn’t. It was a dangerous world you lived in, even more so when your uncle was a known gangster. You didn’t loathe in it but it was a mere fact you had to deal with. The two guards you had with you at all times, the threatening looks you were given and the gun you carried in all your purses were the proof of that. There was no helping it.

You chuckled one last time, a childish yet devious smile on your lips while you locked eyes with the man. You didn’t have time to waste and as fun as it was, you didn’t want to spend any more time looking at his face when you knew, for a fact, that he could put his skilled hands into good use.

“Listen, Mr. Solomons...” you spoke with a low smile as his eyes bore into yours. “As much as I love our little banter here, I have about fifteen minutes before the guards start looking for me.” you uncrossed and crossed your legs as he watched, hypnotised.

“Now, would you like to spend that time talking or....” you bit your lip and spoke again, he was doomed from the way he was looking at you.“..doing something more productive?”

--------

“That’s nonsense, uncle.” you sighed, looking around for someone else to speak as your uncle flooded you with questions of his own.

After your little outing escape the other day, the guards did end up looking around for you for a bit. You managed to make it but it had taken you about twenty minutes before they found you and in your uncle’s time, that meant that something had happened.

And something had happened.

Alfie was a good kisser, you gathered. He hadn’t wasted any more time after your question, there was no need to do that anyway. You had gotten a little carried away, to say the least. You had gotten back with flushed cheeks and unevenly buttoned dress when the guards were looking for you but it seemed as though Alfie hadn’t gotten enough. 

You hadn’t slept with him yet but he had certainly acquired the taste of you.

“I was strolling around after leaving Sam’s place. I just got lost for a bit, is all.” you said once more to make sure he came around, and he always did.

“You’re sure, dear?” he asked, but that just meant that he already did believe you. He just wanted to make sure that you were on board.

“Yes. I am. It was a mishap and I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” you said sweetly while kissing his cheek and gaining a natural smile from the old man’s lips.

“Alright, then...very well.” he said, voice a little low but you knew the man like the back of your hand and from the way he sat down, you knew he wanted to say something before you left his office. “We’ll be having a gathering, a dinner of sorts...” he spoke, hand gesturing around the air as you looked at his sitting form on the chair. 

This was usual. Your uncle was well-liked in the high society around London and he had business dinners with a lot of people. If the invited guests that were business partners, that just meant that your uncle was looking to form an alliance, a strong one at that. It had happened with the greeks and if it meant that a business associate was invited into his own house, it usually meant that your uncle trusted them and wanted to expand certain things in the future.

You knew the drill.

You’d dress nicely and smile to the guests while they made some stupid joke about how young you were and just how fit you’d be for a wife. You’d smile and say you were studying, that usually got them off the hook. You’d be nice and calm with your nice dress and wave appropriately until they went off and you could ride your horse in the dark.

“A new alliance?” you said, voice soft as he looked at you with amused eyes. He had done some very good deals in the last couple of months and it was all because of this one man he had the true pleasure of doing business with.

“Hm, yes.” he spoke, nodding while he went through some papers. You just stood around, waiting for him to speak but he was slow today.

“Who’s the lucky gangster?” you spoke, a smile on your lips as the amusement reached your eyes. He chuckled at your pure silliness before he spoke. You were to behave nicely when the guest arrived and you both knew that.

“The jew.” he said, smiling fondly at you before you forced a smile.

There was only one jew your uncle knew.

---------

Tagging: @clairecrive  @parkbearum @sourirez  @vetseras​ @mollybegger-blog @babylooneytoonz @peakascum

a/n: This is a tad bit late but I have so much to take care of for school i’m going insane. Anyway, i really hope you like it and lemme know what you thought please!! <3

[heavenaintaniceplace]

so i found my mother’s copy of the jw (new world translation) bible and i decided to yoink that shit for disposal but not before i realized there is a lot of lines highlighted in the book from when she was being manipulated by the jw lady that convinced her to do “bible study” for years. and what do you know if the lines the lady had my mother highlight weren’t the same lines that jws use to justify their cult beliefs! all the lines are cherry picked, no actual study, just the lady manipulating and priming her to accept their beliefs by presenting so called “biblical proof.” so here is some of the things that stand out before i finally rip this thing to shreds and through it away.

literally the whole book replaces every instance of the tetagrammaton with “jehovah” because they want people to believe its been “removed from the bible thousands of times because they don’t want you to know the true name of god”. the whole thing is translated with an agenda to make them look right and everyone else wrong and to make people believe they have some secret hidden knowledge (they don’t they’re liars). putting this under a read more because its very long.

heavy TW for everything related ro religious trauma, the jehovah’s witnesses, bible passages and christianity. incredibly long post. i plan on burning the jehovah’s witness copy of the bible, no joke.

the imago dei part of genesis to try and convince her that humans were super special to god

genesis chapter 3, the serpent convincing eve to eat the fruit of knowledge so that she would accept their version of the original sin doctrine and that women are cursed

chapter where cain kills abel to convince her that this was the first murder in human history (obviously incorrect)

highlighted the part where god kills everything on earth with a flood to groom her into expecting god to do it again later and seen as fair and just and part where god “gives” noah every living creature (because fuck other organisms apparently)

part of leviticus where (in their version) theyre like “no soul must eat blood” (what the fuck) to justify not allowing life saving blood transfusions

deuteronomy part about “jehovah being one” to justify being non trinitarian (they don’t believe jesus is god or that the holy spirit is god, this is meant to lure people who are already christians away from their denoms and into theirs)

“thou shall not kill” is highlighted for some reason and i don’t know why

highlighted job 1:12 to emphasize that they believe satan is in control of the world because god allows it and job 26:7 that has a note saying “the earth hangs there” when talking about sheol to convince her of where earth is relative to “heaven” and using a bunch of “face of the waters” creationist language to make it vague as possible. job 27:5 to make her believe that “no one is righteous” and that saying so is sinful

part in psalms that assures that “wicked people will be no more if you just wait a little while longer” (this is the apocalypse imminent narrative they use to groom people with fear of dying or leaving but also to get them warmed up to the idea of mass death). “the righteous will inherit the earth and live forever” narrative so they believe that jws will live on earth forever after being resurrected while everyone else (whos not a jw) is killed by god

psalms 91 to drive home the fact that these people think theyre invincible in every meaning of the word, to natural disasters and disease etc

proverbs 6 part about “false witnesses”. jws believe that three jehovah’s witnesses have to be present to verify that a crime (like domestic or sexual abuse) actually happened or the governing body and elders don’t care. literally. the “false witness” narrative is used against survivors and people they want to silence in their organization and emphasizes how much jehovah hates “false witnesses” aka people brave enough to talk and victims

proverbs 12:18 about “wise and unwise tongues”, basically anyone that speaks out against the jws are “unwise” and harmful

proverbs 22 about raising children (”train up a child”, if you don’t know it already this is a child abuser dog whistle) that implies that indoctrination will last until adulthood if done right. this is especially bad because this copy is from the early 2000s when i was in kindergarten. this woman had been lurking on us since i was an infant.

proverbs 27 about how neighbors near is better than brothers far away. the implication here is that fundamentally family who aren’t jws don’t matter

ecclesiates 5. i genuinely think its warning people to not ask too much of god or risk his anger, thats the vibe im getting here because the wording is confusing as fuck

isiah 40:22 trying to hammer in the notion that god is greater than anything especially “worldly” governments (except the governing body ofc /s). isiah 43:10 the “you are my witnesses” to justify the name “jehovah’s witnesses” and shoehorn the idea in

daniel 2:40, the idea of an indescribable kingdom, the whole kingdoms in the “last days” conspiracy they use to convince people the “last days” are coming

matthew 4:8 where jesus is persuaded by satan by offering every kingdom on earth. the point in text is “don’t worship anyone except god” but the point of the jws is that nothing on earth actually matters

matthew 6:9 (nice), the our father, meant to make the reader to ask god to hasten the kingdom of god or as we ex-jws know hasten the apocalypse and the death of people they dont like

matthew 16:24, meant to convince people to leave everything behind and join the jws, “disown yourself” aka “die to yourself” toxic bullshit repackaged

matthew 19:9, to convince people that divorce even in instances of domestic abuse is wrong because the governing body won’t allow it and loves to control women

matthew 24:4-14, “anyone who doesnt speak for the jws is a false prophet” and warms people up to the notion that war is necessary; also that evidence of war is a sign of the “last days” and that this is supposed to be good news. ongoing war and the hope for global genocide is “good news” to them.

matthew 24:21. this one is meant to make people feel the apocalypse could happen at any time and to be afraid of it, a great war is coming and only the “chosen ones” (jehovah’s witnesses) will survive when everyone else dies. there’s a paper bookmark on this page. makes me wonder.

mark 8:34. the “die to yourself” bullshit, the idea that the cross was a “torture stake” because jws believe that wearing crosses is idolatry and they want other people to believe their quirky beliefs so they accept heavier things

matthew 10:28, “anyone who follows jehovah and jesus will literally live forever!” but also that “no one is prepared to leave their family for jesus and thats shameful because you should want to sacrifice your entire family!”

mark 11:24 “anything you pray for earnestly you get”. this is spiritual bypassing btw. and :25 “ask for forgiveness and be automatically forgiven no matter what you did” is also fucked

matthew 15-23: jesus (almost) gets wasted while being crucified etc, not sure why this one is highlighted unless im missing some jw bullshit here

luke 20:27. don’t understand this one but they’re threatening “heavier judgement” on people

john 5:28, promising resurrection through jesus after people die but only for the Good tm people (the jws)

john 6:15. how jesus is about to be arrested but goes to a mountain. dunno why this on is underlined

john 11:24. bringing home the same “jesus will save you from dying if youre a jw” bullshit. john 14:6 “jesus is the ONLY way ever! there can’t be anything else except jesus” indoctrination tailored to make you co-dependent. john 17:3, hook line and sinker of promising resurrection and “eternal life” again

john 17:15. here is the “we aren’t of the World tm” shit meant to make you feel outcast from everyone else who isnt a jw, setting up “the world” (everyone else) as other

acts 15:25. “follow the jw rules because the holy spirit you to”

romans 10:10, spread jw beliefs and witness as much as possible. romans 12:9 “hate everything jehovah hates so you’re not a hypocrite” basically means hate other people the jws don’t approve of

corinthians 6:9 (nice but not so nice this time) “anyone we don’t like won’t inherit the earth” translation: anyone we don’t like won’t survive the apocalypse thats definitely happening soon so always be afraid. “homosexuals” are changed to “men kept for unnatural purposes for this one.” still homophobic.

corinthians 7:6, the idea that everyone has a gift that needs to be exploited and used by the jws

corinthians 15:33. “don’t participate in any activities with any outsiders because it will lead you away from jehovah!! fun is ‘drunkenness’, you’ll loose your resurrection if you do!! non jw people are bad influences!!”

2 corinthians 7:1. your body and flesh is defiled, you need to be cleansed in order to be good

galatians 5:20. “having human emotions is sinful! struggling is sinful! being angry is sinful! having a bad day is sinful!” basically that being human is inherently wrong or something

ephesians  3:14. tries to make people believe everything is owed to god only and that obedience is good so they fall for cult power structures later. 4:28 here is just the top of the page being labeled “new personality” and thats all we need to know about indoctrination and cult personality vs actual personality. also “let not the sun set with you in a provoked state” being used against people still angry about being wronged and hurt by others and its been used against me a lot of times

ephesians 6:4. make sure the jw fathers provide the most discipline to children, literally uses the phrase “mental regulating of jehovah”. it couldn’t be more cult like at this point.

timothy 5:8 makes people believe that men alone are expected to provide and if they don’t they’re worse than “those without faith”. no pressure though!

timothy 6:19. wants people to neglect everything actually happening in favor of the “real life” (”eternal life”) instead and to constantly prepare for that instead of actually living life. dedicate your whole life to jw activities

titus 2. women need to be subjects to their husbands but also homemakers, live to glorify their husband, chaste and definitely not mentally ill or showing any symptoms. what the fuck is titus i never heard of this shit until today.

hebrews 1:7-14, trying to convince people that angels live to serve god but also has some superseccsionist/replacement theology (antisemitism) vibes going on

james 2:23, wants people to believe that god “putting people to the test” is actually a way to become “jehovah’s friend” and that being put to the test (read: suffering) is actually a good thing because it primes them to accept suffering as their fault later on. james 4:7 “everything evil will vanish if you rebuke it long enough!!”

peter 3:9 the “god’s timing is always right” gospel bs and encourages people not to do things themselves but to wait and also that jehovah will be on time when its time to start another global genocide. how encouraging! peter 3:13, the same “end of world near” scare tactic, “new heavens new earth” promise to eradicate everyone the jws dont like as that is jehvoah’s “promise” to the witnesses

1 john 3:8, their version of the original sin doctrine, the devil is the source of all evil scare tactic etc

short detour: every instance of “servant” is replaced with “slave” in this version. it makes me feel ill.

revelations 7:16, wants people to believe that god will take away all their pain and that they won’t need food or water to survive anymore (bullshit). also the jehovah’s witness 144,000 chosen people bullshit is here too but not highlighted

revelations 12:7-13, a depiction fo michael drop kicking satan and the implication that satan has always been in charge and not god because they want people to believe that. also that the devil will fall to earth and try to eat jws

revalations 14-4: virgins get dibs on heaven and god i guess. i dont know what the fuck is going on. 14:6 an angel yelling fear god from above, probably where the jws get most of their apocalyptic imagery from that they use to scare children into believing they could die at any minute

so now that we finally got to the end of that mess, their version of revalations ends with jesus saying “yes, i am coming quickly” and “may the undeserved kindness of jesus christ be with the holy ones.”

joking aside, everything highlighted in this copy of this book has been used against me and my mother for years and is a huge part of the reason i have religious trauma now. everything she was told or encouraged to highlight aided jehovah’s witness indoctrination and propaganda, her own indoctrination and eventually mine which apparently started even earlier than i thought.

[astralwaifu]

So I think I would go to ask for your event and congratulation 50 followers🌹🤗❤️

Anime: Kimetsu no yaiba and AOT (if this don't bother you, make short if is to much or do one of them, i don't mind :3)

MBTI: INFJ/ISFJ (depends the person's and situación I use it)

Ennegram: 4w1 (I'm a creep xD)

Zodiac: I'm an Scorpio (because I born in November) but I have a lots of Libra attitudes

Love language: Quality time

Personality: dependence on the situation and people. I am someone shy and reserved, I seem like someone cold but I am the least cold person in the world, so if I notice that the other person is shyer, I take the initiative. Mature, affectionate, empathetic, kind, intelligent, independent and I am the mother of my group of friends (and I love to pamper them), loyal and you will always count on me, I also defend all my loved ones with cape and swords and I am brave and strong (even if you don't accept it). I am a trunk of secrets and I give very good advice (I am good at listening). Physically I'm not pretty, I'm a normal girl, 1.60 cm, black/brown hair, brown eyes. I have chubby cheeks and my friend love to squish me (sometimes it hurts).

I had problems with my parents in the past, but I was able to forgive them (they hit me as a correction of my action and I get/still scared of them, but I know they thought it was the best). I have low self-esteem but I am working to improve it, but I can't take compliments (I get fluster and I don't know how to react to them), but I love to complement others and help.

Likes: Learn, music, art, cook, watch videos on youtube, hang out with friends, animals, take care of others and spoiled them (I'm like the mother friend), read, etc.

Dislike: Lies, egocentricity, people with a superiority complex, self-righteous people, false people, etc.

Habits: say "no"playfully when someone (who's close to me) ask me to borrow a thing or do something (I did it anyways, it only to tease them), pet the hair of my friends (mostly my boy friends) and do things simultaneously (and don't mess or misunderstood the things)

Additional facts:

I like to do my nail (I used my natural ones, I don't really like the ceramic ones)

My hair was very long, but I cut it down and dyed it fuchsia

I have a chronic illness (diabetes)

I study things related to accounting (and I like it) but I will study the next year Psychology.

I really like to tickle me friends (in order to mood them up but I not ticklish, only if you pinch me soft I get really ticklish)

I'm a huffleclaw (the mix of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw)

Thanks and sorry if is too much. Love u and take your time, hope u doing well and take care.

Hi! Thank you for joining! You seem like a really nice and kind person and I hope you’ll only have part of amazing things, you deserve them! Healing takes time, but you are strong and will overcome anything. Take care of yourself and never forget your worth. <3 Also i’m sorry you had to wait so long, I had and still have lots of exams.

Your matches are…

Jean Kirstein!

Hc:

- This man… This man worships the ground you walk on and treats you like the goddess you are, like a miracle that came into his life when he needed you most. He still doesn’t know how he ended up with someone as perfect as you, but he doesn’t question it. Maybe it is luck or maybe it is the hand of the Universe, he is happy with way.

- We all know he is a simp - Jean will do anything to prove his love to you (and I mean anything, from saving your life from titans to the smallest, most meaningful acts of service and kind praises). And when he sees that all his affection is reciprocated… He is on Cloud 9.

- He doesn’t let you feel alone, ever. Jean will always make sure you know he has your back and supports you whatever you’ll do. He can’t stand to let you bring yourself down or let other people step over you - he will start to argue with anyone that says something bad about you. He is also very protective, you mental and physical safety matter the most to him, so never expect to be near toxic people. He won’t let you.

- He pays extra attention to the way his hair is groomed when you are with him and loves when you run your fingers through it. Jean will probably try to play it off, but inside…. he barely controls himself not to combust at the way you gently play with his hair and smother him in your love.

and

Tanjiro Kamado!

Hc:

- Another one that is super protective and supportive. Tanjiro is down to earth and kind, always offering a shoulder to cry on or a pillar of support (pun intended) for his one and only.

- He is a very peaceful being, but will get extremely angry (and vocal too) at people that try to cause you harm. Tanjiro is, after all, stubborn and protective.

- Will compliment you in the most blunt ways : he always speaks his mind and heart and because you are a permanent resident in both of them, he will not hesitate to praise you.

- Loves your motherly and affectionate way of being, and he loves more when he sees that side of you taking care of Nezuko. She is also very important to him and knowing that the girl also sees you as part of the family gives him a sense of comfort.

- (Nezuko will definitely get all small and cutesy and squish your cheeks gently, mumbling some random sounds)

[lettrespromises]

la querelle des coeurs. - kuroo, atsumu, daichi.

@luveranime​ sent a letter : ❝ Me again lmao 😂 could you do one where kuroo, atsumu and daichi’s s/o has a ex best friend and they try to take their bf away from their s/o but then their s/o like angrily lashes out? Then like a cute fluffy ending :) ❞

author’s letter : ❝ aaaaa, it’s always pleasure to see you in my inbox!! thank you so much for trusting me with all your prompts, it means the world. ooooh, i love myself some angst to fluff especially with kuroo. i hope you’ll enjoy your promised letter!

sealed with a kiss. sincerely yours, nikki. ❞

genre : kinda fluff, kinda angst. warnings : cursing, toxic friendship.

Now, now, now, Kuroo like the gorgeous scorpio he is has some kind of sixth sense when it comes to lies, basically, you could consider him as a human lie detector. This talent of his extends to being able to discern people’s true nature- given that he is someone who doesn’t trust people easily, he’s even more careful around people he doesn’t deem as trustworthy.

Truth be told, he doesn’t come as a surprise to him when you tell him that you had a succession of arguments with your best friend, to the point where you felt obligated to cut ties with them. 

You can tell from miles away that the sentence “I don’t want to say I told you so, but I told you so, kitten.” is burning the tip of his tongue, begging him to be set free so he could rub his pseudo sixth sense in your face.

From now on, Kuroo morphs into ‘super protective mode’, he just wants to protect you from any emotional harm, he knows how vicious your former best friend is, after all, he always knew.

He will walk with you everywhere, cradle you into his embrace if you feel the need to shed a couple of tears- he picks up the shattered pieces of your broken self and glues them one by one and seals them with a kiss or a heartfelt compliment.

After several days, Kuroo’s efforts and dedication to make you feel better finally sets in. Your introspection sunk in and you feel the aftereffects bloom- you feel fearless, powerful, and you came to agree with yourself on stating that you are indeed better off alone.

The plot twists in the hallways of your school- your arm is wrapped around Kuroo’s, just the way you like it. His orbs never leave you frame and anyone could tell how the gleam in his eyes reflect his love and adoration for you. 

Needless to say, his favorite time of the day was when he could have lunch with you and listen to your ramblings while observing your divine traits. However, being academically smart doesn’t prevent him from being a airhead at times : “Kitten, I totally forgot to grab myself something to drink. Will you wait for me at our spot? I’ll be quick.” “You already know where to find me then, Tetsu.”

And with that, he leaves you in the middle of the hall (but not before planting a peck on your forehead.) On his way to the vending machine, he sees none other than your former best-friend, body leaning onto said vending machine, as if they were waiting for him to come out after witnessing your discussion.

The plain expression plastered upon Kuroo’s facial expression speaks louder than a thousand words revolving around the lexical field of anger. Nonetheless, he tells himself that if he ignores them, then there will be no harm done, unless...

“Hey there, Kuroo. I knew you’d miss me! Don’t worry, baby, I missed you just as much.”

The person you once called your best friend orientates their body in a strategic way so they’re closer to Kuroo, their whole body facing him. Of course, he didn’t miss the poor attempts to get him to pay attention to them. Their whole body language screamed ‘acknowledge me.’

Kuroo remained stoic and pushed the coins inside the vending machine instead. This lack of attention only emphasized their anger and in return, their level of patience diminished gradually. But they had another ace hidden in their sleeve, and this time, attitude matched their actions- your former best friend grabbed the hem of Kuroo’s collar while their other hand was planted at the back of his neck to force him to look on what they deemed as the only important person here.

“Kuroo, baby, I’m so glad you came to see me, because let’s face it : you’re only here because you know you’d see me here. Have you finally realized that Y/N was not good enough for you? You want a real significant other, don’t you?”

If hearing the sound of their voice was disgusting enough, imagine how filthy Kuroo felt when he sensed a foreign body throw themselves on him- his skin was burning under the poisoning touch of your former best friend. 

Now, now. The ‘you’ topic was quite the sensitive one to Kuroo, given that he would and could put anyone in their place if he happened to hear a ill word about you. “I’m going to say this once : don’t play a game you can’t win so don’t say another thing about Y/N.” 

Oh, but would this stop them? Absolutely not. Their hand travelled from the back of their neck to the muscular reliefs on his chest, an area only you had the luxury you to touch and worship. “Don’t be like that, Kuroo. I know I can touch you, love you and at least I won’t fake it like Y/N does.” they concluded their sentence with a wink sent his way and Kuroo could already feel the taste of vomit invading his tastebud. 

In one sharp motion, he grabbed their wrist and yanked himself free of their intoxicating clutch. Just his luck, he thought, while your former best friend cursed silently under their breath as they saw you arrive.

“Tetsu, are you okay? What’s taking you so long?”

Oh and here it was, the pure grin which radiated nothing but pure mischief- your presence signed the end and what a beautiful ending it was for him. “Maybe you should ask them, kitten. They were rambling about how I should date them instead of you. Can you believe that bullshit?”

Your eyes darted onto a familiar frame, but just by glancing at them, you felt all the inner rage overwhelm you, including all the pain you had to go through. It was like facing your own nightmare, but you’ve never been alone to fight your battles- Kuroo has always been there by your side.

“You said what now?”

Your stare emanated nothing but pure and intense rage, your whole body language testified of your inner envy to make them choke on their own words.

“I said-...”

“If you think for a single second I’m going to let you talk, you’re dead wrong. You’ve been feeding me enough lies during all this time we were ‘friends’, and now, you’re throwing yourself on my man? You really have nothing for you, do you now? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go grab lunch with my boyfriend. I’m not sure you’ve ever heard of him but his name is Kuroo Testurou, you know, the man you’ll never get?”

Kuroo couldn’t help but to let a snicker break free from his lips, this scene was wonderful to watch. An immense wave of pride washed over him, and it struck him again, he realized for the umpteenth time how lucky he was to share his life with you.

He wrapped his arm around your waist, tugging you close to his side and delivered a peck full of love upon the flesh of your cheek. “I didn’t know you had all of this hidden in you, kitten. Not gonna lie, it’s kinda hot.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes and punched his arm as his words connected with your eardrums, “You’re so lucky I love you.”

“Don’t get it twisted, kitten, I’m lucky one here.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

It’s safe to say that Atsumu does have a reputation that follows him around, he his the local heartthrob of his school and he secretly takes pride in that. But nothing fills his heart with pride more than being able to call you his.

Being Atsumu’s girlfriend, you are indirectly exposed to threats, insults and other acerbic remarks coming from his fangirls. Sometimes these attacks are direct like dirty talks behind your back when you’re holding his hand in the middle of the halls, and other times, it’s more subtle and the perfect example of that is how the person you used to call your best friend took advantage of your relationship status to get closer to Atsumu.

They made it clear and had no shame hiding behind their shameful shenanigans, “Did you really think I was talking to you for your personality? Get real, Y/N, I don’t care about you. I only care about your man.”

These subtle shenanigans hurt the most because they were the most vicious and purposefully hurtful, and the worst part was that they had somehow managed to become friends with Atsumu. Emphasis on the word ‘somehow.’

As per usual after school, both you and Atsumu could be found at the gym, and oh boy, did he love being able to see you everyday- not only at school but also at the gym as you were the manager of the volleyball team.

However, this time, you had quite the surprise when you entered the gym. Kita had asked all the players to gather up as he explained them the new change amongst the team : “Considering that the nationals are around the corner, the coach and I stated that it was necessary for us to hire a new manager in order for Y/N not to feel overwhelmed. Please welcome your new manager and take good care of them.” 

As his words echoed in the gymnasium, you felt your stomach sink to your heels, your mouth was set agape under the overwhelming feeling of pure disgust. Not them, out of all people. Hell, even Atsumu’s worst fangirl sounded like a better idea right now.

Of course you couldn’t blame Kita for choosing your former best friend as the new manager, but the glance Atsumu threw your way testified of how much he knew this situation was going to eat you up alive. 

After the captain dismissed everyone, Atsumu wasted no time and ran up to you, he felt the need to reassure you and make you feel at ease despite the venomous presence of your former best friend.

“Cheer up, baby, ya’ know I’m here, right? This pig isn’t gonna’ get a piece of me. Now, be a doll and gimme’ a kiss.” 

Classic Atsumu right here, but who were you to deny such a sweet request? So you did as told, and planted a kiss on his plump lips. And that’s when you could pinpoint the precise moment when your former best friend had fallen right into Atsumu’s trap.

“As your new manager, I have to say that it’s not very professional to kiss your significant other on the court. But, I mean, what else did I expect coming from Y/N?” 

Your boyfriend’s arm was protectively wrapped around your waist, tugging you closer. The root of each of his action was to protect you from the incoherent and toxic words dropping from their lips. But deep down, he knew better than to mess with you, especially when the whole team was looking at you.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Did you mean do this?”

There you went again, planting yet another kiss upon Atsumu’s lips who couldn’t help but grin at the taunting nature of your actions. Once you broke the kiss, you could feel the hot breaths of your boyfriend crashing upon your skin “That’s my girl.”

Your former best friend looked around in despair, her eyes scanned the room to seek for help, to back up her actions. Osamu let a small laugh fall free from his lips, Suna rolled his eyes so hard you thought they were going to get stuck at the back of his head, and Kita, out of all people, let out a desperate sigh. “As the captain of the team, I must inform you that it is my duty to let you know that you cannot dictate your way here, and you cannot display a clear lack of respect to Y/N.”

This time, it was their time to be dumbfounded and left in the middle of the gymnasium with their mouth set agape in pure surprise. The silence, although it was broken by a few playful laughs, was agonizing to them. 

“C’mon, new manager, tell ‘em why ya’ chose to come here.” Atsumu taunted, the smirk plastered upon his face as wide as ever, but he only found silence as an answer.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell the rest of the team? Alright then. Maybe you should tell them how you only joined our team to flirt with Atsumu knowing very well that we’re dating, what kind of person that makes you, mh?” Each word pronounced was embedded with venom of your own, and deep down, exposing the true nature of your former best friend brought some sense of satisfaction. And thus you began reading out loud each text they had sent you, justifying their one-sided reason to join the team, only to flirt with Atsumu.

“Yeah, ya’ ain’t slick! Sorry to break it to ya’ but I ain’t into snakes.” Atsumu continued, sticking his tongue out before the still dumbfounded personification of a snake.

Pure embarrassment consumed them, the more they were staying amongst the deafening silence of their sour loss, the more they felt vulnerable and the more they realized they lost their own game. The stares of the whole team became agonizing, so agonizing that they felt obligated to leave the gym, head hung low in defeat.

“Byeee! Ya’ won’t be missed!” Your boyfriend concluded his sentence by imitating the hissing sounds of snakes, and you wondered why you were dating a man-child. Nonetheless, knowing very well he couldn’t get his hands off of you and craved for a physical touch at all times, he pressed his lips against yours once more. “I ain’t into snakes but ya’ could s-s-s-s-slide your way into my heart, baby.” and with that, Osamu hit the back of his twin’s head with a volleyball.

Maybe he deserved that.

Being the unofficial dad of the Karasuno volleyball team came with its perks, one of them was the ability to be able to discern if the people you were hanging with genuinely cared about you or not, you liked to joke around and call this his “secret dad weapon.”

Much like Kuroo, he was not one bit surprised when you told him that you had to put your friendship to an end with your former best friend. Of course, he was not angry, but in typical dad fashion, he adorned the oh so famous disappointed dad expression on his facial structure.

He told you not to overthink it, and to focus on the other friendly presences in your life such as the volleyball team or Kiyoko and Yachi, mainly because he knew he could trust them with his eyes closed, but also because he knew he would be able to make them pay if they were to hurt you.

When you started dating Daichi, you grew the habit to join him outside the gymnasium after his training, a bottle of water in your hand in case he overworked himself, which he always did. 

This time, and much to your surprise, you found a note near the doorframe leading to the gymnasium. And if you were careful enough, the slight details and the precise calligraphy hinted that said note was in fact a love note. 

You found it rather amusing at first, perhaps it was a letter dedicated to Kiyoko because this woman was the living and breathing proof that God was indeed a woman. 

But everyday, you would find yet another letter, still carefully written and decorated leaning against the doorframe. This time, however, a calligraphic ‘D.S’ framed the front of the letter. You couldn’t help but let your stare roam over the fine print of calligraphy over and over again. 

As the saying goes ‘curiosity killed the cat’, and you were no exception to that common phrase. You meticulously took the letter and unfolded it- it was so beautifully written, the details were placed strategically. It was a proof of pure love in the form of a letter. 

Then, you began reading it :  “Dear Daichi,  Words cannot do justice of how much I love you. Everything about you fascinates me- from the way you spike the ball so roughly to the small smile on your face after scoring a point. If only I could tell you how much you mean to me. Don’t worry, Y/N won’t know a thing. Come to the gymnasium tomorrow at 5 if you wish, until then, accept all my love.”

You read the letter once, then twice, then an umpteenth time until the words were embedded in your brain. You thought it was just a prank, after all, Nishinoya and Tanaka were quite the pranksters amongst the team, but the handwriting was so delicate, too delicate to be theirs. 

You could feel salty pearls coming at the brim of your eyes until they fell onto the surface of the paper, resulting in the texture of the letter now being bloated under the wetness of your tears. 

You kept your discovery under silence, you trusted your boyfriend of course, but given the additional stress brought by the nationals, you refused to distract him from his goal.

But here you were, sharply there in front of the gym at five as indicated on the letter. However, Daichi hadn’t shown up like the anonymous lover requested, he was already stretching anyway. 

Knots started to form in your stomach as you wondered who the hell had the idea to write this love letter to him, after all, it’s not as if your relationship with Daichi was kept as a secret. 

And at 5:01 precisely, your orbs felt on the figure of your former best friend who had the most victorious grin plastered upon their face. Not only these letters were meant to be read by Daichi, but by you too, their main goal was to hurt you where it stung the most.

“What the hell are you doing here? Where you the one who wrote these letters?” You spat, waving the letters between your thumb and forefinger. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I know you love to make everything about yourself but I was expecting Daichi, not you.” Although they said they were sorry, there was not one ounce of genuine compassion in their voice.

Anger got the best of you resulting in the sudden apparition of veins on your neck as the volume of your voice only increased : “Who the fuck do you think you are? Are you that desperate? If you want a reply to your letter : Daichi doesn’t even know who you are.”

Your emotions controlled each one of your actions, including the severe tone of your voice. The ruckus made its way inside the walls of the gymnasium, until Daichi and Sugawara opened the door in order to find an answer as their interrogation : what was happening outside? 

Daichi’s eyes widened when he saw your frame shaking from anger, it was so unlike you, you matched him in a way because you were always so calm and collected. His mind raced as he wondered what was the cause of this sudden switch of behavior. 

He found the answer to his question pretty rapidly as his eyes darted towards your former best friend who was still wearing that victorious grin on their facial structure. “Y/N, love, what’s going on?” he asked as his hands were draped over your shoulders, forcing you to look at him.

“Oh, hey, Daichi! Have you read the letters I left for you? I bet Y/N never wrote this kind of letters for you.” It took inhuman strength for Daichi to ignore their taunt, instead, Sugawara sent a death glare their way : “Just leave, you have no business being here.”

Sugawara’s attempt at making them leave eventually succeeded after Coach Ukai’s sudden appearance before barking on your former best friend to “get the hell out of here” and “not disturb training anymore.”

Eventually, you were left alone with Daichi, your lungs felt constricted and you struggled to breathe. The aftermath of your outburst of anger made tears run down your cheeks as you sought for comfort inside of Daichi’s loving embrace. 

The pad of his thumb brushed your tears away, planting a series of kisses upon the surface of your forehead as a silent way to tell you that he was here and he was not going to let you go.

“Listen, love, I don’t know what happened and we will talk about it whenever you feel ready. But promise me one thing, never doubt of my love for you. Could you do that for me, Y/N?”

You simply nodded against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat kept the haunting thoughts in your head at bay. “I love you so much, Y/N, so, so much.” he whispered, concluding his sentence with a kiss left on your lips.

If only he knew how much you loved him.