#working on receiving constructive feedback as an avoidant person

[irrec]

If you don't

send me messages telling me how much you appreciate me and love spending time with me after we hang out- pls leave me alone.

getting older means realizing that allll of your relationships are a choice that you have to keep making.

I love reminding my people why I'll always choose them, unconditionally.

[physalian]

The Dos and Don’ts of Giving and Receiving Constructive Criticism

Some of these should be painfully obvious and yet. They come from experience.

Receiving feedback:

Do

Understand that a criticism of a character’s thoughts, actions, morality, and choices are likely not a criticism of you as an author, unless the character is an author insert

Understand that they are being paid to critique how successfully you told an entertaining story, not pander to your trauma dumping

Understand that critiquing a book’s success as an entertaining story means that how much you yourself connect with or love a character or scene or plotline is irrelevant if it doesn’t make a compelling narrative

You might have written your book for yourself. Your editor is a different person with their own human biases and perspectives. If you just want to pay someone to stoke your ego, make that 100% clear up front.

Stand up for yourself and clarify where necessary if some details were overlooked or if explaining outside the narrative can better contextualize anything confusing or lacking detail.

Stand up for yourself in what feedback you are expecting, and what degree of criticism you’re willing to endure. An editor can let more or less of their own views show depending on what you ask for.

Stand up for yourself if your editor delivers inadequate or useless feedback. You’re paying them for a job, and you deserve to have it done properly.

Try to separate dislike of a book from dislike of yourself. It’s not easy, but the goal is to fix your book that you’ve already spent a lot of time writing, and they’re only trying to help.

Remember that your author insert is subjected to the same level of criticism as any other character, and that you asked for this.

Keep an open mind and be prepared for feedback that you don’t like, because you can’t please everyone. Your editor should be able to tell you whether or not a scene or character, or plotline works separate from their own personal tastes.

Don’t

Argue with your editor over their religiosity or lack thereof and insist that adhering to genre expectations means they “worship the god of [genre]”. (really, argue with your editor over anything like this, e.g. their own sexuality, religiosity, gender, socioeconomic status).

Argue with your editor while still expecting more work from them as if your aggression will in any way positively impact their perception of your book.

Insult your editor’s intelligence for not understanding your jargon and attempts to sound smarter than you are.

Get mad when your editor sees right through your BS and calls it like they see it, specifically your self-insert Mary Sue protagonist.

Insist that the solution to better understanding your book is for that editor to do extensive homework on your niche topic. If it’s a niche book for niche audiences, hire an editor who’s already knowledgeable about that niche topic.

Equate a bad review and opinion of the book with unprofessionalism. These can overlap, but they are not interchangeable.

Forget that your book is probably meant for leisure and entertainment, and your audience is under no obligation to read “until it gets good,” when they can go do literally anything else. Your first job is to entertain, if you write fiction.

Giving Feedback:

Do

Pay attention to your client’s wants and needs and expectations. If they’re more sensitive to bad feedback, do your best and stay as objective as possible. You can’t please everyone, either.

Helpful feedback includes an explanation of why an element needs work and how it can be improved. Saying “I hate this” with nothing else helps no one and just makes the author feel bad with no direction of how to make it better.

Communicate beforehand how much of your own personality your author wants from you. Do they like personal opinions and your personal reactions to the text, or do they want it as impersonal as possible and solely focused on the structure of the narrative? This might avoid a mess.

Remember to leave notes of where things worked well to balance the criticism. Even a simple “this is good” highlighting a line or a paragraph or two helps keep authors motivated to keep writing. I firmly believe that no book is completely unsalvageable.

Make it painfully clear with no room for debate that criticism of a character is not criticism of the author, unless it's an author insert, in which case the author absolutely asked for it.

Make it clear that you are just one person and these are all suggestions, not laws.

Don’t

Let your own personal opinions cloud your judgment of whether or not someone with different tastes could enjoy the book.

Unless given permission, get too personal with the narrative and reach beyond what’s written on the page.

Do more than what you’re paid for. You’re an editor, not a therapist for the writer’s trauma dumping.

Forget to wrap up all your thoughts in a condensed format that the author can reference, as opposed to endlessly scrolling through the manuscript trying to summarize your points for you.

Walk away with absolutely nothing positive to say about the manuscript. Even if it’s awful on every front, the writer still tried and that deserves merit.

This is from my personal experience beta and sensitivity reading, and dealing with other beta and sensitivity readers. We are all human and these jobs are not one-size-fits-all and there aren’t really hardline rules as every author, editor, and manuscript is different with different needs.

Just some things to keep in mind.

But also, for the authors who do write self-insert Mary Sues: You are in for a very rude awakening if you expect anyone other than yourself to adore your book with zero criticism. If you really just want someone to proofread and look for typos, tell them.

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

Capital Conversations: Luke Arnold, Author of "The Fetch Phillips Archives"

By Maurice Burbridge | May 5, 2025

Photo Credit: Mark Fitzgerald

Actor-writer Luke Arnold disclosed the various experiences, opinions, and advice that contributed to the creation and success of "The Fetch Phillips Archives", a fantasy/noir series that follows the misadventures of the titular detective. The most recent entry, "Whisper in the Wind", was released last week.

“With Fetch Phillips in particular, there was a version of that story that I started writing at 18, for the first time and then again in my early 20s,” Arnold said. The final version of "The Last Smile in Sunder City", his debut novel, wasn’t published until 2020.

Originally, Arnold was influenced primarily by other media, but experiences in finding his voice and imagination helped him eventually turn those starting ideas into a full novel. He credits his work on “Black Sails” (the Emmy winning Starz show), as being “the best boot camp for a creative you could wish for.”

In regards to “Black Sails”, Arnold recalls thought provoking conversations with great co-stars and writers about scripts that demanded a certain level of literacy. “When you spend that time talking about story, the human experience, myth, allegory and all the elements that come with working on that kind of material, it hopefully gets you out of thinking of story only in terms of tropes, genre and plot,” Arnold said.

Arnold believes how he would have written Fetch in his youth is quite different from how he wrote Fetch when properly starting "The Last Smile in Sunder City.”

“I think the more time you spend trying to be a good person, trying to live up to your own ideals and fail and recorrect, the more nuanced you hopefully get in being able to understand and write any character,” Arnold stated.

However, he didn’t realize until much later on when he replayed it, that the video game “Final Fantasy VII” had influenced his initial ideas about the world, story and themes of Fetch Phillips. What he specifically appreciates about the game is how it captures what occurs when man-made technology is so close to divine/natural energy.

“And both the beauty that can come out of that, but also this sense of sacrilege and corruption that can sometimes be evident when you see what we’re doing to the world,” Arnold said.

Furthermore, he attributes the game’s impact on him, growing up in a generation where the climate crisis was uniquely prevalent. “In trying to understand such a big concept as what the world we are building is doing to the natural world beneath our feet, I think the imagery from that game was very much in my mind,” Arnold added.

A prevailing theme of the book (and series) is a fight for nuance, and the questioning of an easy answer. Despite his love for the noir stories that influenced him, Arnold wanted to take the archetype of the alcoholic gumshoe detective, and see the ineffectiveness of that sort of personality.

He says that young people, in particular young men, are brought up to idolize the lone wolf archetype, but as one gets older, they realize the importance of community involvement, which these heroes often actively ignore or avoid. In regards to Fetch, Arnold adds, “that’s the thing he’s learning over and over, as I think a lot of us do, that engaging with the people around us is usually the most constructive thing we can do.”

The best support he received when writing that first novel was, rather than specific advice, encouragement. He would recommend doing what he originally did, writing something small that other people may read, as constructive criticism and feedback are necessary fuels to confidently write longer works.

“Despite what anyone [says], there are very few people out there who can just sit down on their own and write many drafts of hundreds of thousands of words on just the belief that this will be good and someone will care about this. I think some positive reinforcement is really useful and some people are very hard on themselves,” Arnold said.

He would also recommend, if possible, finding other writers to have collaborative conversations with and provide each other feedback.

“That’s why I think a lot of fanfiction communities, people can be so prolific in that, because you have this community to work and that’s why a lot of people get started there, as much as anything, because you have this encouragement and have a good community. So finding that early on can be really useful.”

He remembers the second book in the series, “Dead Man in a Ditch”, being a joyous and pure writing experience, as the first hadn’t yet been released. “The first one where you don’t know anyone will read it at all is kind of exciting and then the second one where you’re riding high on the fact that you actually get to do this. They’re two experiences that you want to appreciate while they happen,” Arnold said.

“Dead Man in a Ditch” is, in part, about how disastrous it can be when lines between private corporations and state officials blur. Arnold finds it easiest to write about issues and things he’s passionate about, rather than actively conveying political messing. He recommends the example of George Saunders’ “A Swim in a Pond in the Rain,” a book about how some of the great moments in Russian art and literature were followed by terrible moments in history, a phenomena that Arnold continues to observe today.

“I still am not sure about the effectiveness of fiction and narrative on actually changing anyone's mind about any issue. I think a lot of times people, we're seeing it very much now, with huge great groups of people, who would define themselves as being geeks and nerds, who grew up on the same kind of media that I grew up on. The messages of all those books felt like somewhat left-leaning, socially conscious, stories about how you [should] care about other people, the dangers of fascism, and all these things that the same people who grew up on that, seem to have not taken any of those messages,” Arnold explained.

Nonetheless, Arnold thinks it’s important for any author to focus on their inner thoughts and opinions if they ever experience a lack of motivation, and enjoys testing out the pros and cons of potentially-political views in his work.

“I do think that hopefully leads to interesting fiction where we take some kind of catchphrase idea about the culture, society, the political environment of the moment, and play it out in this fantasy world and get to explore it in the safety of a book or fictional world.”

"One Foot in the Fade" is the third Fetch Phillips novel, and the first with (some) titled chapters, an intentional choice from Arnold, who says the book is largely about Fetch succumbing to the temptation of being the archetypal fantasy hero. He enjoyed playing with the expectations of readers who may have been wanting a more typical adventure story, as the series has continued to mix genres.

As for genre mixing, Arnold wanted to find a healthy balance of the melancholic themes typical in noir, but combined with spurts of optimism and magical energy. “I think the thing for people who like this series, out of everything, at the heart of it, those kind of dark twists of fate that happen in this world, throwing this kind of sacred, imaginative magic into a world where things are often twisted back on themselves in a dark way makes for really interesting little moments,” Arnold said.

Looking beyond "Whisper in the Wind", and how the series may culminate, Arnold finds that some plot elements were always there, but others evolved, or were created, throughout the writing, rewriting, and editing processes.

He says that this openness to allowing characters and plot details to change as they’re put into new situations provides an extra challenge: tying the situations of side characters to the main narrative so their role in moving the plot forward does not supersede their well-roundness as a character. “What you want at the end is everyone’s journeys to all kind of come together back towards a central goal.”

The series also follows multiple characters whose nostalgia for their past prevents them from enjoying any of the pleasures of the present and future. “You cannot stop it, things move forward and we are not in control of that. And so being somewhat at peace with that is the only way to actually make your way through the world, and that can be tough to do when it feels like the present and the future [are] not as magical as the past was,” Arnold says.

Fittingly, the novels take place in a fantasy world devoid of magic, where creatures who have enjoyed being made of and utilizing magic for centuries, are forced to live without it. Many of them, understandably, want to find any way possible to rekindle the literal and metaphorical magic of the past, often to terrible and/or inauthentic results.

Generally, Arnold finds questioning how to move forward much more beneficial than attempting to preserve the past, which he still deems important. “We’re getting into a time in history, and who would have thought it, where the actual rewriting of history is becoming a conversation. Going back and deleting things and throwing things out to control the story of the moment is a worrying trend,” Arnold said.

Along with "Whisper in the Wind," Arnold also released "Essentials" this year, his first graphic novel. About the process, Arnold said that he and co-writer Chris “Doc” Wyatt felt like their role was to inspire great artists to do some beautiful work, after-which they could rescript based off of the art, all of which would then be interpreted by letterers. “So it's kind of a very different experience as far as that kind of level of ownership you have over it and how many other people are kind of between your initial writing and the reader.”

He contrasts it with the “huge privilege” and “daunting responsibility” of writing a novel in prose, where solely the author controls what the reader gets.

A non-creative experience that Arnold is sure influenced his novels in prose was his work with Save the Children Australia, when he had a high access to media (having done Black Sails and the INXS miniseries), which made him beneficial for NGOs that serve the plights of the oft-ignored.

He recalls the importance of “those moments where you're there with people on the ground, and whether that's people who've fled Syria, or [are] in Nepal after an earthquake, or during the food crisis in South Sudan, people who are giving you their real story and asking you to go back to your country and share that story so that what they're going through can be seen and assistance can be given.”

When it comes to the understanding he had of how connected Australian (or American) politics and society could be to the lives of people suffering internationally, Arnold sees how the privilege of learning may have influenced the Fetch Phillips series. “When you're writing a character who's very much working out what good he can do in his world and how that affects everyone around him, I think that's definitely had an influence,” Arnold said.

"Whisper in the Wind," all other entries in the Fetch Phillips series and "Essentials" are available for purchase wherever you buy books, including The Book House, a local bookstore. UAlbany students can request to borrow copies of these books through an inter library loan on the University Libraries website.

Source: Albany Student Press Online

[bisexualamy]

the irony of all of these armchair critics online offering "feedback" or "constructive/critical critique" is they demonstrate that they've never been in a productive critique environment. i feel like a lot of folks assume critique is supposed to be brutal or crushing or "tough love" when that's often not the case.

one of the first lessons you learn as a creative person receiving regular crit is to separate yourself as a person from the work you create. the point is that you don't feel personally attacked when someone criticizing an aspect of your work. the goal of crit is to improve the work. everyone is supposed to leave crit with something to fix, a direction to go in, a piece of feedback they can work with to make something better.

i've been in many critique environments where the word "you" isn't permitted. you're not allow to address the writer/artist/creator directly, because it's not about them, it's about their work. instead of saying "you portrayed [x] minority experience in a racist way with little nuance" you'd say "I think this story portrays [x] minority experience without nuance and falls into racist tropes. Here's an example or two of where I saw that. I suggest you [get a sensitivity reader/research this topic further/familiarize yourself with racists tropes so you can avoid them.]"

the problem with a lot of critique online, the reason it creates a toxic environment, is because it's all framed as a personal attack and there's no constructive element for the creator to take with them. "do better" isn't feedback. "you're homophobic for writing this" isn't feedback. they're personal attacks. personal attacks are incompatible with artistic critique.

[jane-alma]

Advice for dealing with writer’s block, from a fellow writer

Okay, so I think we can all agree that writer's block sucks. And if you're someone who writes regularly, there's no way to avoid experiencing it from time to time (I sure know I do). But here are a few things that I usually find helpful when I experience writer’s block <3

Firstly, give yourself permission to take a break. Sometimes, the harder we push ourselves to write, the more elusive inspiration becomes. Step away from your writing for a little while and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could be anything from going for a walk, reading a book, or indulging in a hobby. By taking time to recharge, you allow your mind to reset and open up to new ideas. Sometimes it can be an longer break that is needed, sometimes the best way to get back into writing if you have a really bad case of writer’s block is to simply not try.

Another useful technique is to try freewriting. Set a timer for a specific duration, it can be as short as 10-15 minutes (personally, I prefer setting my timer for about half an hour to 45 minutes when I do this), and write continuously without worrying about grammar, punctuation, or structure. Let your thoughts flow freely onto the page. This exercise can help loosen up your creative muscles and break through any mental barriers. If you know that you have a tendency to overthink or be overly self critical when you write, I suggest avoiding a time duration longer than 30 minutes, at least the first times you do this exercise.

If you find yourself stuck on a particular project, consider working on something completely different. Switching gears and exploring a new topic or genre can provide a fresh perspective and alleviate the pressure you may be putting on yourself. Experimenting with different writing styles or formats can also help reignite your passion for storytelling.

Collaboration can be another effective way to overcome writer's block. Engage in writing exercises with fellow writers or seek feedback from trusted peers. Sharing your work-in-progress and receiving constructive criticism can often provide valuable insights and new directions for your writing.

Lastly, it's important to remember that writer's block is a natural part of the creative process. Be patient and kind to yourself. Avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk. Instead, focus on nurturing your creativity through self-care, reading, and exploring new experiences. Trust that inspiration will return in its own time.

And most importantly of all, be kind to yourself. We are usually our own biggest critic. Happy writing! <3

[sexisbetteronthemoon]

how do you respond to criticism about your work? i wanted some advice if you don't mind! thank you!

thanks for the question!

i honestly don't know how i'd respond to what i presume is corrective criticism. i have gotten really extremely lucky over the decades i've been writing and haven't received any such feedback. the two remotely negative comments i've ever gotten in my life (pre-sibotm) were really very easy to deal with.

one was someone informing me that they thought my fic didn't really count as a 5+1 bc it was written fluently rather than in separated instances. but i'd done that on purpose, so i didn't give it any thought.

the second comment was not even my fault lmao. the person was angry that i'd included my fic in the ship tag when it was "pre-slash at best", and i politely informed them that my fic was indeed tagged with "pre-slash" if they'd bothered to read the tags, and that they could exclude that tag in their search to avoid the issue in the future.

i don't recall any other negative or constructive comment. it's been a couple decades, though, so maybe i'm forgetting something!

really, it entirely depends on the type of criticism being given. it's natural to feel offended, even when it's not offered rudely. writing is a big personal effort, and when someone finds faults in it, it can be hard to take, or feel like a personal insult.

the trick is divorcing yourself from your work to look at it objectively. and that's really hard to do!

that being said, i would think on what's being said and whether it actually applies to my work or if it's being said to hurt me. if it's said to hurt me, i'd just ignore it and delete it. if it's being said to help, then i'd thank them and remind them to be kinder if they were rude about it.

sometimes, people jump to their own conclusions on what's happening, especially when a work is unfinished. this has happened to me a couple of times, but it began in the era where i no longer reply to comments, so it's not an issue.

people can believe what they want. they don't need to read my fic and i don't need to listen to anyone who is misinterpreting my writing. my work will speak for itself. when it's done, then they can come at me.

sorry for rambling! tl;dr: the kind of response given depends entirely on the kind of feedback dealt.

i'd need more info if that's ok!

[aeth-eris]

Venus Square Transits

Venus Square Sun: This transit may bring about conflicts between personal desires and relationship needs. Focus on fostering open communication and mutual understanding within your relationships. Strive to find a balance between self-expression and compromise, and prioritize maintaining harmony and respect in your interactions.

Venus Square Moon: This transit can intensify emotional fluctuations and create challenges in finding emotional stability. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness to manage your emotional reactions, and prioritize open and honest communication within your relationships. Aim to foster a supportive and nurturing environment that encourages emotional understanding and empathy.

Venus Square Mercury: This transit may lead to misunderstandings and communication challenges. Focus on fostering clarity and empathy in your interactions, ensuring that you listen actively and express yourself diplomatically. Prioritize effective communication and mutual respect, and be open to constructive feedback to resolve any potential conflicts or misunderstandings.

Venus Square Mars: This transit may trigger conflicts and power struggles in relationships. Practice patience and understanding to navigate potential tensions, and prioritize constructive communication and mutual compromise. Aim to channel any passionate energy into productive and cooperative activities, fostering a sense of shared goals and mutual respect within your relationships.

Venus Square Jupiter: This transit may lead to conflicts between practicality and indulgence. Practice moderation and realistic goal-setting to manage expectations within your relationships. Foster a sense of gratitude and humility, and be mindful of maintaining a balanced approach to both giving and receiving support and affection.

Venus Square Saturn: This transit can bring about challenges in relationship commitments and responsibilities. Focus on fostering patience and understanding, and prioritize open communication to address any underlying tensions or insecurities. Aim to build a strong foundation of trust and reliability within your relationships, and be willing to work through any challenges together with maturity and dedication.

Venus Square Uranus: This transit may lead to sudden changes and disruptions in relationships. Practice flexibility and adaptability to navigate unexpected developments, and foster open communication to address any need for personal space and independence. Aim to find a balance between individuality and togetherness, fostering mutual respect and understanding within your relationships.

Venus Square Neptune: This transit can create challenges in maintaining boundaries and realistic expectations within relationships. Practice clarity and honesty to avoid misunderstandings and potential deceptions, and prioritize building a foundation of trust and emotional authenticity. Aim to foster a sense of empathy and understanding while maintaining a realistic perspective in your relationships.

Venus Square Pluto: This transit may trigger intense power dynamics and emotional transformations within relationships. Focus on fostering open and honest communication to address any underlying issues and power struggles. Prioritize mutual respect and trust, and be willing to confront and work through any deep-seated emotional issues with compassion and understanding.

[lifeandtimesofljm]

Doubters Into Believers. Transmute fear into faith and doubt into belief.

For the majority of my life I’ve been the labeled as the outsider. The visionary, surrounded by leaders who struggle with foresight and followers who avoid hindsight. It’s been a thankless journey to reach a space where my clarity of understanding not only resonates with those around me but affords me a platform to share my truths.

The benefit of having my wisdom and innovation doubted at every phase meant that I now know exactly what the naysayers are digging up in their bag of “who does she think she is?” I have let fear of failure block me from attempting many solo endeavors, but I never let it rob me of an opportunity that presented itself.

One question that sets me on the path towards dismantling any fear of success is:

What do I need to succeed?

Is it capital, relationships, space, time or confidence?

All of these factors are ALWAYS 100% obtainable. It requires you to identify the steps needed to acquire them, the commitment to yourself and the belief that you will receive them at the perfect time and in the correct sequence.

but then… there is fear’s cousin, doubt.

Doubt is this tricky phenomenon that rides into your subconscious on a wave of fear. Its hard to detect because sometimes, its just a nervous feeling rather than a well constructed argument. A papercut on a knuckle that can really undermine your confidence and unravel your opportunities.

So, instead of letting doubt get a free pass, lets unpack this emotion down to its lowest common denominator in order to not only understand it, but determine whether or not its substantiated.

1.) What is the source of the initial thought?

Sometimes, doubt is seeded. In which case, the character and motivation of the person who sends the doubt should always be considered. Many times, doubt is just a strategy to undermine your progress simply because they don’t want you to succeed.

Remember, jealousy is a thing. Those who struggle with jealousy may use undermining questions to get your nerves twisted or maybe, they use comparison tactics to lower your confidence. Either way, their motivation needs to be addressed and understood in order to transmute this type of doubt.

2.) I don’t know enough

Welp, there are two paths forward from this type of doubt. You could attain the knowledge and wisdom or work with someone you trust, who has both. Most often in entrepreneurship, we think we need to be the expert at all of the components of business in order to succeed. This isn’t to dissuade you from researching and studying to upgrade your own intellect, but if urgency and opportunity can’t wait, the most streamlined approach to winning is building an A-team.

The catch with building an amazing team is, you’ve got to be a great leader. Chances are, if you are moving forward with your idea, you’re already a leader. Leadership skills are worth every penny of investment. Start with accessing who you know that might already be an expert and see if they are already set up for consultancy, or another option is to enroll in a genre specific leadership mentorship program.

Reminder If you pursue the knowledge directly, don’t forget the wisdom needed to apply it.

3.) It’s been done before

So what.

Your experience, your perspective and your perception of the idea is exactly what those like you, want, need and/or desire. This type of doubt is typically caused by over comparison and analysis paralysis. Over comparison happens in research phase when you are checking out the “competition” or maybe your idea is a slight variation of something that is already popular. Don’t be afraid of a phased approach to development. Incremental momentum is the best way forward. After every action, take notes and ask for feedback from those who have your best interest at heart.

“Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.”

―Robert Schuller

It’s so easy to get sidelined by thoughts of fear and doubt. It happens to all of us at different seasons of our lives. I think of overcoming these undermining emotions like practicing hurdle jumping. In the beginning, fear might stop you from leaping and doubt might trip you up initially, but if you keep trying you might just be the best there ever was.

*I’ve never hurdle jumped but I imagine most people who tried it failed the first time.

repost from https://drlesley.beehiiv.com/

[diamondcitydarlin]

re: that post about hypothetical 'dislike' buttons on fics and mean/critical reviews, I started writing fic in the early 00's when the general etiquette of 'reviewing' was that everyone was entitled to be as openly critical of fanfics as they liked bc the writer 'deserved' it for writing something like a female self-insert OC ('Mary Sue', any female OC was synonymous with that for awhile, and for some haters out there that's still the case) and/or struggling with grammar/spelling whathaveyou and 'It's out for public consumption so writers just need to get a thick skin and deal with it' and/or 'Critical feedback is important to improve a writer's skill1!!! I'm doing them a favor!!1!!'. I'm glad we've come around to an era of fandom where it seems most people generally accept that unsolicited critical reviews ('flames' as we called them back then) are rude and the people who still leave them are shunned/corrected accordingly.

Bc like yeah, I'm not going to dispute that constructive criticism CAN be helpful, but I think an important part of it actually being helpful is 1) the writer's consent/interest in receiving it in the first place -bc we're talking about FANFIC not a professionally published work- and 2) the person offering the concrit understanding and respecting what the writer's goals are and having points to offer that are actually useful to that end. Like, if someone has set out to write a self-indulgent self-insert OC romance story, telling them that OCs, OC x canon is trash and they should consider writing a entirely different story than the one they're working on isn't constructive or helpful in any way, it's just one person trying to enforce their own fic preferences on an unwilling participant when they could just as easily avoid the tropes they don't want to see in the first place. That kind of 'criticism' isn't so much helpful feedback as it is an attempt to gatekeep what kind of fanfic should be written at all based on specific personal standards, it doesn't allow for the reality that different people are looking for different things in stories and they should be allowed to write/read what they want to. It doesn't allow for the reality that not everything is intended for everyone. It absolutely stifles creativity and diversity within fandom/fanfic communities.

Not to mention it's just, imo, very arrogant? To like, deputize oneself as the highest authority and greatest mind on writing in the world and feel like one's negative input is some kind of god's gift to the writer and they should be grateful to receive these 'pearls of wisdom' they didn't even ask for in the first place?? Like, who the fuck are you lol??? If I'm writing a self insert mary sue OC x canon and my entire goal in doing that is to be self-indulgent and have fun, you're not exactly helping anything by telling me I shouldn't be writing that at all just bc you think it's cringe. That's not concrit, that's just being an entitled ass over how someone else plays with their toys, like let's be so fr here!!! JUST READ SOMETHING ELSE!!! Or better yet get to your keyboard and write the story YOU want to read instead of dragging other people down!!!

And the hypothetical notion that we should have 'dislike' or downvote buttons on fics makes me want hurl something through a window tbh, like that wouldn't ever be abused by trolls and/or just kill most people's drive to put their work out at all /s

idk I just feel like actual, helpful constructive criticism comes from those who understand and appreciate the genre they're commenting on (and even better if they've written within it themselves). It's not 'ew OC x canon is so dumb this makes no sense to me it's OOC' or whatever, it's more like 'omg I remembered your OC had trauma from this past event, maybe it could influence their reaction in this other scene??' THAT is understanding the assignment, THAT is being helpful and constructive, THAT is actually bringing something to the table that the writer can use!!!

Sometimes though I really do worry we could slide back into that Age of Entitlement, what with all the purity contests in fandom nowadays, an alarming amount of people seeing no issue in pushing their own preferences and agendas on other people's work bc it's 'problematic' to them or whatever, that culture of feeling emboldened to harass people bc 'they deserve it for writing x ship' etc and I really, really hope we can hold on to the underappreciated art of minding our own fucking business lmao

[toast-thief]

I don’t believe you deserve the criticism you’ve been receiving, but I do think there's room for improvement in how you communicate your feedback. If this issue isn’t addressed, it might continue to persist. For example, saying things like “learn colour theory” isn’t helpful or constructive.

When evaluating a work of art, the process can be broken down into four basic steps: describing, analyzing, interpreting, and evaluating. Art critics use these steps, but as an online communicator, you don’t need to follow them rigidly—however, keeping these in mind can help refine your approach.

Here are some tips for providing more constructive criticism:

Actionable: Feedback should offer clear guidance on how to improve. Unhelpful criticism, on the other hand, doesn’t provide any direction for growth.

Clear: The message should be straightforward to avoid confusion. The goal is to ensure that the person receiving the feedback knows exactly what to work on.

While your criticism isn't destructive, it does come across as unclear or blunt, which can make it difficult for others to take seriously. Sometimes, the tone can be perceived as unstructured or overly critical, which may lead to the response you’re receiving. I encourage you to consider how your words may be interpreted, as this can have a significant impact on how others engage with your feedback.

It might be helpful to explore different methods of giving constructive criticism. You have the potential to be insightful, but honing this skill will help your feedback be more effective and better received. Taking the time to ensure your critique is thoughtful and clear will help you avoid the risk of coming across as harsh or unhelpful. Criticism is most valuable when it’s both kind and clear, and learning to offer it in a constructive manner will strengthen your interactions.

If you don’t have anything positive or constructive to say, it might be best to refrain from commenting. Ultimately, offering feedback in a more thoughtful way will help you avoid being misunderstood and will encourage others to engage with your thoughts more meaningfully.

gee thanks, i feel kinder already

[graveyard-party666]

Blood & Wine

The calm before the storm

I started writing this chapter in May. I tried finishing it in one week but as you can tell i couldn't. I only finished it a few weeks ago.

You can certainly tell that different parts of that chapter were written in different time and in different mental state. Also, I'm introducing my new OC here.

I honestly don't really like how it came out but it is what it is. You can call it a filler chapter.

Yes, it's long. Probably the longest chapter I've written.

Adult life brings so much obstacles. That Red understood when it turned or that she needs to talk to stupid people in order to work. Unfortunate.  Another thing Red learned during her work as a psychologist is the fact that you can't put your expectations too high, never tell your clients about the expectations or promise them the results. Because that's not how psychology works.

Another thing Red learned is the fact that having friends from different fields is very beneficial. As much as she would rather avoid all that military world, everything somehow leads to the military in the end. Even before she started working as a consultant for TF141 she had to work with a few soldiers who she still deeply respects.

Friendship offers a myriad of benefits for humans that extend far beyond mere social interaction. Firstly, friendships provide a crucial source of emotional support. Whether celebrating triumphs or weathering challenges, friends offer a listening ear, empathy, and understanding, which can help individuals navigate the complexities of life with greater ease.

Moreover, friendships contribute to reducing stress levels and enhancing overall mental well-being. Spending time with friends promotes the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin and serotonin, which can alleviate feelings of loneliness and anxiety. This, in turn, fosters a sense of happiness and contentment.

Furthermore, friendships serve as catalysts for personal growth and development. Through interactions with friends, individuals gain new perspectives, receive constructive feedback, and engage in self-reflection, which are essential components of self-improvement. Whether through shared experiences or intellectual discussions, friendships facilitate learning and expansion of one's worldview.

Social connection is a fundamental human need, and friendships fulfill this need by providing a sense of belonging and acceptance. Feeling connected to others fosters a sense of community and strengthens interpersonal bonds, which can bolster self-esteem and confidence.

During times of adversity, friendships become invaluable resources for resilience. Having a support network of friends can help individuals cope with challenges, providing encouragement, motivation, and practical assistance when needed most. Knowing that one is not alone in facing life's trials can instill a sense of hope and perseverance.

In summary, friendships enrich our lives in myriad ways, offering emotional support, reducing stress, fostering personal growth, enhancing social connection, and bolstering resilience. Investing in meaningful friendships is not only enjoyable but also essential for nurturing our overall well-being and fulfillment.

Or at least that's what psychology books say.

To Red friendship is something nobody could ever put in words or explain.

Friendship, she pondered, was a tapestry woven from moments shared, laughter echoing through the halls of memory, and the silent understanding between souls. It was the comforting presence on a dark night, the unwavering support during turbulent times, and the joy found in simple companionship.

To her, friendship was more than just a bond; it was a lifeline, a beacon of light guiding her through the darkest of storms. And as she stood there, enveloped by the tranquil beauty of the night, she couldn't help but feel grateful for the cherished friends who had become her family, her anchors in an ever-changing world.

Too poetic, isn't it? That's why it's better not to talk about it.

What she knew exactly is that friend will always help, always warn you. That's how she was. That's what she asks from people.

Since professor Benar started helping her with profile, those thoughts about friendship and its meaning somehow became much more constant.

The weird gut feeling that was eating her up almost every day was getting unbearable. Something didn't feel right. It's as if that case was much deeper than she thought and then everyone else thought.

Her friendship with the soldiers of Task Force 141 can be called strange, incomprehensible, naive. But Red doesn’t care much about what their friendship might be called. But the relationship with the professor can hardly be called friendship. Yes, perhaps Red has become paranoid, but for some reason the appearance of her so respected professor raises a lot of questions, but only for her.

The professor always seemed to be watching the girl's slightest movement.  He is a genius, a professional, and Red has learned to analyze any of his words or actions, looking for hidden subtext. Abel Benar was not one to do or say anything just for the sake of it. And he himself believed that there was some kind of secret meaning in everything.

Why did he came now?

Red sat in her office, the soft ticking of the clock on the wall marking the passage of time. Her office was a sanctuary of calm, with shelves lined with books on psychology, a well-worn leather couch for patients, and her desk neatly organized. Yet, despite the serenity of her surroundings, her mind was anything but calm. She leaned back in her chair, her eyes unfocused as she stared at a spot on the ceiling, lost in thought.

Hassan's file lay open on her desk, the pages filled with notes, transcripts, and psychological evaluations. A name that had become synonymous with terror in the media, was her latest and most challenging case. The more she delved into his mind, the more she felt an unsettling, nagging sensation in her gut that there was something much deeper and more complex at play.

She flipped through the pages, her eyes scanning the meticulously detailed notes. Hassan's background was filled with trauma, loss, and radicalization, a story all too common in the profiles of terrorists. But there were inconsistencies, fragments of his story that didn't quite fit. Red couldn't shake the feeling that Hassan wasn't just a product of his environment; there was something else, something unseen that was influencing him.

Red turned her chair towards the window, looking out at the city skyline. Her instincts had never led her astray before. She had a talent for seeing the patterns that others missed, for understanding the hidden motives behind human behavior. And her instincts were screaming at her now that there was more to Hassan's story than met the eye.

Reaching for her phone, Red dialed the number of her contact. She only had a few minutes before professor Benar comes back. And the last thing she wants right now is getting him into her assumptions based on intuition. So she called that one person. The person she could trust, the soldier who can be trust. The one who she had an unlike friendship with. Who knows not to call her by her name.

She needed more information, more pieces of the puzzle to fit together. As she waited for the call to connect, she glanced back at Hassan's file, her resolve hardening. She would get to the bottom of this, no matter how deep she had to dig.

Because Red knew that understanding Hassan wasn't just about profiling a terrorist. It was about uncovering a truth that could prevent future atrocities, about seeing the humanity even in those society deemed monsters. And her gut told her that the truth about Hassan was far more complicated and far more important than anyone realized.

The phone clicked as the line connected, and Red steeled herself for the conversation ahead. She would follow her instincts, no matter where they led her, because sometimes the mind's darkest corners held the key to understanding, and she was determined to unlock it.

As the phone rang, Red glanced back at Hassan's file, her resolve hardening.

"Hey, Red," came Major Adam Black's deep, steady voice on the other end of the line. "Long time no hear. What’s up?"

"Adam," she began, a small smile tugging at her lips despite the seriousness of the situation. "I will be talking quickly. I need your help. I'm working on infamous terrorist's psychological profile, and there's something off. I can't put my finger on it, but my gut is telling me there's more to this than anyone realizes."

"Figures you'd call with a puzzle," Adam chuckled, a warm, familiar sound. "You always did love the tricky ones. What’s the scoop?"

"I need more information," she said. "There are gaps in his story, inconsistencies that don't make sense. I think it's important. I think it's something bigger than CIA thinks it is."

"Intriguing," Adam replied, his tone growing more serious. "Alright, send me everything you have. I’ll reach out to some contacts. We'll crack this together."

"Thanks, Adam," Red said, relief washing over her. "I knew I could count on you."

"Always," he said, the smile evident in his voice. "I missed this, you know? Stay safe, Red. We'll get to the bottom of this."

As she ended the call, Red felt a renewed sense of determination. She would follow her instincts, no matter where they led her, because sometimes the mind's darkest corners held the key to understanding, and she was determined to unlock it.

She's alone in this.

The sudden feeling of anxiety washed over Red as she started thinking about this whole ordeal. There is the certain connection in everything, the pattern is obvious yet confusing.

Working with professor was easy, he never once made Red feel like she's not smart enough. But the team kept its distance from him which were understandable. They didn't trust Red at first too, probably still don't trust her completely.

Red glanced at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time that afternoon. The day had dragged on, with deadlines piling up and meetings blending into one another. She wasn’t alone in her longing for the workday to end. Red could feel the same restlessness in the air from her colleagues, all of them itching to close their laptops with unfinished reports and escape the monotony of the HQ.

What kept her going was the thought of the evening ahead—a moment when the day would finally end, and she could unwind with the people she had shared this long day with. To listen Price's stories, to try and mediate between Gaz and Soap's bickering, to sit in silence with Ghost. There was something comforting about the idea of sitting together, laughing over casual conversation, and raising a glass at the end of it all. Red could almost taste the drink she would share with them, the laughter that would echo across the table, and the sense of relief that would come when they were no longer coworkers, but just friends, relaxing after a long day. And maybe she would even forget about her insecurities and believe for a moment that they trust her.

Red tapped her fingers against the desk, her mind drifting away from the spreadsheets and emails demanding her attention. Outside, the golden light of early evening was already filtering through the windows, signaling the end of the day was near. She sighed, shifting in her seat, knowing there were still a few more tasks to check off before she could truly relax. But her thoughts kept returning to the same place: the moment when work would finally be over.

She could already picture it in her head—how she and her colleagues would gather at their favorite spot down the street. The usual post-work ritual, where they would trade in the stress of the HQ for the easy comfort of shared drinks and stories. Red liked these moments the most, when the formalities of the workday faded away and they could just be themselves. There was a sense of camaraderie that only seemed to emerge when the workday was behind them, as if the exhaustion of the hours before somehow strengthened their bond.

Red imagined the laughter bubbling up as someone made a joke, or the way a cold drink felt in hand after a day of constant work. She wanted to feel that sense of release, the collective sigh they would all share as they eased into the evening, knowing that for a little while, the responsibilities of tomorrow could wait. In those moments, with the warmth of her colleagues around her and the sharp bite of a drink on her tongue, Red always felt a little more alive, as if the whole day had been leading up to this one point of connection and relief.

As the clock finally approached the end of the shift, the office buzzed with a sense of impending freedom. Red's thoughts were already dancing around the idea of drinks with her colleagues when the door swung open with a creak. In walked Soap, his unmistakable presence lighting up the room. Readheaded woman still couldn't understand how him and the rest became such an important part of her life.

“Come on, Red!” he called out, his thick Scottish accent slicing through the chatter. “Are ye gonna sit there all day or what? The pub’s waitin’!”

Red looked up, her anticipation of the evening sparking into excitement at his familiar, boisterous tone. Soap had a knack for bringing energy wherever he went, and his playful urgency made her smile.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming!” she replied, quickly gathering her things. He leaned against her desk, arms crossed, grinning as he waited, clearly amused by her flustered pace.

“Ye’ve been workin’ like a dog today with that professor of yours,” he teased, his eyes twinkling. “A wee break’s long overdue. The others will be there already, drinkin’ our share!”

With a final glance at the clock, Red felt the last vestiges of the workday melt away. Soap’s enthusiasm was contagious, and she felt a rush of relief and eagerness to escape the office confines. As she rushed to join him, Soap stepped back, gesturing dramatically toward the door as if it were a grand entrance.

“After ye, lass!” he said with a mock bow, and they both laughed, ready to leave the workday behind and embrace the evening ahead.

The pub wasn't busy, woman could see why Task Force's soldiers prefer this place. It's peaceful. The blues plays softly in the back, some posters on the walls. Feels cool.

As Red and Soap stepped into the dimly lit pub, the warm atmosphere enveloped them like a welcoming embrace.

“Look who finally made it!” chuckled Gaz from their usual corner table, raising his glass in a cheerful toast. Captain Price sat beside him, a knowing smile on his face as he took a sip of his drink. Ghost leaned back in his chair, his signature skull mask partially obscuring his expression, but Red couldn’t shake the sense of intensity that surrounded him.

“Hope ye didn’t wait long,” Soap said, swaggering toward the table with an exaggerated air. Red followed, feeling the excitement of the evening lift her spirits.

“Not at all. We saved a spot for you two,” Price replied, gesturing to the empty seats. Red slid into the booth next to Ghost, acutely aware of how close they were. His presence was comforting yet intimidating, making it hard to focus on anything else.

The conversation flowed easily as drinks were poured and stories exchanged. Soap regaled them with tales of the day’s mishaps, earning hearty laughter from Gaz and Price. Readhead joined in, her laughter ringing out, but her gaze would occasionally drift toward Ghost. He seemed quieter than the others, his eyes observing the interactions with a subtle intensity that intrigued her.

“You alright, Red?” Ghost suddenly asked, his voice low and steady, breaking through her thoughts. She blinked, surprised he had noticed her moment of silence.

“Yeah, just… enjoying the stories,” she replied, trying to keep her tone casual. She felt a warmth rise in her cheeks, hoping the dim light would mask her slight embarrassment.

'Good job... keep staring and embarrassing yourself,' psychologist couldn't help but scold herself.

“Ye’re too quiet for a night out,” Soap teased, nudging her. “What’s got yer attention?”

Red shot him a playful glare, grateful for the distraction. “Nothing, just thinking about how much work I’m going to have tomorrow,” she deflected, a smile on her lips.

“Ah, come on!” Gaz chimed in. “Leave the work behind for tonight! We’ve got drinks and good company. That’s what matters.”

Red nodded, trying to immerse herself in the moment. The night wore on, laughter growing louder as the drinks flowed freely, creating a sense of camaraderie that felt invigorating.

As the evening unfolded, psychologist felt a comfortable connection with her colleagues, Ghost included. His occasional glances in her direction made her heart race, but she pushed the feeling aside, focusing instead on the camaraderie and joy that filled the air. Ghost may have caught her eye more than once. For example, when he caught her dancing in her office... but she was determined not to read too much into it, especially knowing her issues with commitment. After all, it was just a night out with people she is working with, and woman intended to enjoy every minute of it.

As the night continued to unfold in the cozy pub, the atmosphere was filled with laughter and conversations. Captain Price leaned back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Alright, lads,” he said, gaining the attention of everyone at the table. “I've got something to show you.”

He pulled out his phone, scrolling through photos until he landed on an old one. With a grin, he turned the screen toward the group. “Check this out."

The table leaned in, curiosity piqued. The image revealed a much younger Price in his Lieutenant days, looking surprisingly clean-shaven and almost boyish. His trademark cap was nowhere to be seen, and his blue eyes sparkled with youthful energy.

“Blimey, is that really you?” Soap exclaimed, barely containing his laughter. “You look like a completely different person without the beard!”

Gaz chuckled, unable to help himself. “You almost look… approachable!” he added playfully, his eyes dancing with amusement.

Price smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Approachable? I’ll have you know I was just as intimidating back then,” he shot back, feigning offense.

“Intimidating? You look like you just stepped off a school bus!” Gaz chimed in, shaking his head with a grin.

Even Ghost, who typically maintained his grumpy, stoic demeanor, chuckled softly at the sight. He tilted his head slightly as he examined the picture, a hint of a smile breaking through his usual composure. “Still had the same steely glare,” he remarked, his voice low but laced with amusement.

Then Red leaned in closer, squinting at the picture with mock seriousness. “Jesus Christ, Captain… you should have told me you're naked in that picture!” she exclaimed, the words slipping out before she could stop herself.

The table erupted into laughter, and Price’s eyes widened in playful shock. “I’m not naked!” he protested, trying to regain his composure. “It’s just a lack of facial hair, that’s all!”

“Right, right,” Red said with a smirk, enjoying the banter. “But seriously, it’s a whole new look for you.”

“Very funny,” Price replied, feigning annoyance but unable to hide his smile. “But you’ve got to admit, I was quite the dashing young officer.”

“Dashing?” Soap cackled. “More like fresh-faced! I can’t believe you went for the clean-shaven look. What were you thinkin’?”

Price shrugged, the laughter still bubbling around the table. “I was young and foolish, obviously. It was a different time—no need for the beard when I was trying to impress the brass.”

The group continued to laugh and share stories, the camaraderie flowing freely. Red felt a warmth spread through her, the memories and banter weaving a tapestry of friendship that made her heart feel full. Even Ghost’s rare chuckle added to the evening's lightheartedness, making it all the more enjoyable.

This felt... right. No professors, no terrorists. But the feeling that it was calm before the storm wasn't leaving Red's mind. The anxiety of what might come next was bothering her, and maybe she should listen to her doubts.

Dubito ergo cogito, cogito ergo sum.

Tag list: @cloudofbutterflies92 @chloekistune

[peppermakesart]

With the new year starting and the 2 year anniversary of me beginning to draw approaching, I wanted to take some time to reflect on where I was when I first started, and reaffirm the core principles that have been guiding my progress.

Going into 2023, I was dealing with a lot of stress and received an official diagnosis for an anxiety disorder, so I was looking to find ways to reduce stress in my life.

One of the first changes I made was to quit playing Dead by Daylight. A friend had introduced it to me about a year before that, and I really enjoyed it for the first 3 months or so. At first it felt incredibly immersive, especially for someone who isn’t good with horror movies, but as I got the hang of the nuances it became too much about memorizing optimal play and picking efficient options, and the gameplay can be horribly toxic. I never played MMOs and only played FPS games poorly without a headset, so this was my first experience with real internet toxicity.

After cutting that out of my life, I needed to find something else to fill that time, and I didn’t want to just get into another video game. I had also managed to completely avoid Twitter until 2022 (I kinda live under a rock) joining because of a friend of mine who was a professional artist. So around that time I was finding other artists that appealed to me, and the person who inspired me to start drawing is Stinky Katie.

Seeing that art didn’t necessarily need to be technical to be beautiful art made the barrier to entry feel a lot lower, and you can see a lot of her influence in my early work. To be clear, I’m not saying her art doesn’t require tremendous skill just because it looks simple. It takes a lot of knowledge to be able to simplify something down to its base elements while retaining your own art style, and 2 years later I think she’s even more of a genius than I did before.

My second major influence was the artist who I was friends with, we were only close for a short time, but I got to get a behind the scenes look at someone who earns most of their income off commissions. I gained an appreciation for the effort that goes into gaining those skills, and enjoyed encouraging them and seeing how much the validation spurred them on when they were struggling with deadlines. They had once mentioned wanting to create a discord art server where criticism is banned, and it’s just a circlejerk of people complimenting each other’s art, and I like the energy behind that. I decided to take that energy with me when I started drawing myself, and I try to go out of my way to show support for as many artists as I can. There is benefit in receiving constructive criticism and applying that feedback, but you can get that from someone else, I’d rather just try to spread a bit of positivity. If your one compliment is the difference that convinces someone not to quit, that’s worth more that any amount of technical improvement.

Around this time when I first decided to draw, I read an article that left a big impression on me. It was written by a woman who was a schoolteacher specializing in young children, and she spoke about how her favorite type of art was from a prompt she would have the children make, where they drew their interpretation of “safety”. I remember reading her describe how she would bawl her eyes out looking through what all the children made, and it further emphasized that the most important quality in a piece of art is how it makes you feel, and everything else is secondary. I feel like I can generally divide the art I make into two categories, pieces that I seek to capture a certain feeling or idea, and the pieces where I’m mostly focused on the art itself, either emphasizing the quality of detail in the current work or experimenting with various ideas in hopes of expanding my artistic toolkit.

It’s why I consider the first picture my favorite early piece of mine and not the second. I had just found out a coworker of mine had died, and I was able to capture a snapshot of how I felt at the time, to help process it and separate myself from it a bit. Sometimes it’s easier for me to control my emotions if I put them to paper, once I’ve placed them somewhere it’s easier to feel like I’ll be able to pick them back up later. I’m really proud of the second piece too, I locked in for 4.5 hours for something really clean, and the artist who created the original sprite found it and complimented me on it, but it just isn’t personal in the same way.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Here’s the first Smoliv I ever drew, it’s been my profile pic ever since everywhere publicly. It has symbolic meaning for me, it’s what ties together all the feelings I just described, and I want to stay grounded to where I was when I began.

[lawgrain]

What's your thoughts on receiving a random review of someone asking you to read their story just because it's in the same fandom, and they want your feedback on it?

Mixed? I'd be flattered if people wanted my opinion or hold my opinion in a positive light. I just feel there's a lot of pressure with the idea? If someone holds my opinion that high then I don't want to disappoint if there has to be constructive criticism. There's always things that aren't my cup of tea but that doesn't mean it's bad. Also, I've found that I'll stray from reading a fandom I write in to avoid overloading myself on the fandom.

In a different light, I don't personally mind being asked but it needs to be understood not to expect a yes. The way that request is phrased does matter and could change my take on it. If it comes across as a demand or is in disregard to the writer in will come across differently. I also think it might be a thing to acknowledge their work before asking for something if it's in their ao3 comments. If it's a dm or an ask, I'm not sure I'd care as much if a work is brought up. The more I type the more I realize how this is a complicated topic. If anyone wants to chime in the comments, please chime on in!

[contentinghitss]

Top 9 Secrets to Networking with NY Casting Directors

Networking with casting directors is an essential part of building a successful acting career in New York City. Forming connections can help you get noticed, build relationships, and potentially lead to more opportunities. Here are nine secrets to effectively networking with casting directors in NYC.

1. Attend Workshops

Workshops provide actors with a rare opportunity to connect with casting directors in a relaxed setting. These events allow you to demonstrate your acting skills while also receiving valuable feedback. Many casting directors host workshops specifically to scout for fresh talent.

2. Be Professional, Not Pushy

It’s important to approach NY casting directors in a professional manner. Being overly aggressive can leave a negative impression. Respect their time, introduce yourself politely, and express genuine interest in their work. This creates a positive foundation for future interactions.

3. Follow Up After Auditions

After you’ve auditioned, it’s appropriate to follow up with a brief thank-you email. Mention something specific about the audition or their work, but keep it concise. This shows professionalism and leaves a lasting positive impression.

4. Engage on Social Media

Social media can be a useful tool for staying connected with casting directors. Follow them on platforms like Twitter or Instagram, and engage with their posts in a thoughtful manner. However, avoid spamming their inbox or oversharing personal details.

5. Participate in Industry Events

Networking events, film festivals, and industry mixers are great places to meet casting directors in a more informal setting. Attend these events regularly to increase your chances of running into key players in the industry.

6. Build Relationships with Casting Assistants

Casting assistants are often overlooked but play a crucial role in the casting process. Developing a relationship with them can be just as valuable as knowing the casting director themselves. Treat everyone in the casting office with the same respect.

7. Showcase Your Work Consistently

Staying active in the industry is key. Whether it’s posting clips of your performances online or participating in local theater, continually showcasing your work keeps you in the loop. Casting directors will take note of actors who are consistently working to improve and refine their craft.

8. Be Adaptable and Open to Feedback

Casting directors appreciate actors who are willing to take direction and are open to constructive feedback. Showing adaptability during an audition or workshop can help you stand out from the competition.

9. Maintain a Positive Reputation

Word travels fast in the entertainment industry, and your reputation matters. Always conduct yourself professionally, be punctual, and show respect to everyone in the casting room. A good reputation can lead to more networking opportunities and callbacks.

Conclusion

Networking with casting directors takes time, effort, and a strategic approach. By attending workshops, being professional, and engaging on social media, you can form genuine connections that may lead to opportunities in the future. Consistently showing your talent and maintaining a positive reputation will ensure that casting directors keep you in mind for future projects. The key is to be patient and persistent, as building relationships with casting directors can significantly enhance your career prospects in NYC.

[octopuscityblues]

February 2024 Update - Kaf & the Octonauts

Hello everyone. This is your host Kaftan von Kaffeeklatsch and you're listening to the Cosmic Millipede Podcast, the show about rocket ships, red quasars, and the search for extraterrestrial life. Before getting to today's interview, I'd like to apologize for the delay since our last episode. We've been quite busy preparing content for the new year, so it took more time than expected.

Today's sponsor is the Ghost in a Bottle Consortium. Do check out their upcoming Octopus City Simulation that's coming soon. You can already download a lengthy demo on Steam, itch.io or GOG. Oh, and if you're reading the transcript after the episode, we took the liberty of adding the latest Octopus City Blues screenshots for you to admire.

Our guest today needs no introduction. I'm talking about the infamous business tycoon, the world's wealthiest person, and the founder of Kosmomash Rockets, Constantin Mandibule. Unless you've been living under a rock for the last ten years, I'm sure you're familiar with Kosmomash's long-awaited projects: the first privately-developed rocket to carry tourists to the moon, and the ambitious luxury resort they're building over there.

Monsieur Constantin Mandibule, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to have this chat.

It's my pleasure, Kaftan. And please, there's no need for formalities. Just call me ConMan—all my friends do.

Uh… all right, Monsieur Conman. Last year was a very important one for Kosmomash, wasn't it?

Absolutement! It was also different—much more business-focused than previous years. Between showcasing our rocket prototypes publicly and at industry events, talking to potential partners, and onboarding new talent, comparatively less time was spent on developing rocket components. These activities were all essential for establishing a strong promotional foundation for this year's big launch. With that out of the way, we are currently back to focusing on construction.

How exciting! The prototype you unveiled during the Next Fest Aerospace Convention caused quite a stir among the attendees. Could you tell us more about it?

What I can tell you, Kaftan, is that it took a lot of hard work to finally get the prototype out the door. It was useful preparation for our final launch, too. For example, working with STEAM's [Editor's Note: Space Tourism Enforcement And Monitoring agency] launch regulations and cloud computing infrastructure forced us to optimize our release processes.

The feedback we received from the attendees was extremely valuable as well; while some of the casualties were avoidable, we continue to learn from every tragedy. Au fait, we just published a new version of our prototype specs a couple of weeks ago, fixing many issues encountered by real users in the wild.

The accidents were regrettable, but the altar of technology demands its sacrifices. What are some of the lessons learned from the launch of the prototype?

Euh… much of it has to do with improving the user experience. For example, our DAISY module is programmed to react to the needs of space tourists. However, as post-war treaties ban the use of AI, we have to manually write responses to every potential user query. Watching so many lab ra—err, people, try the demo helped us identify hundreds of new DAISY responses.

Another finding from the handful of unfortunate incidents was that the control systems were not very intuitive to first-time users. As the average space tourist isn't a trained pilot, we had to place large signs all over the space module—really obvious warnings such as "Keep the windows closed after launch", "Repeatedly press the red button to breathe", or "Carefully arrange the fusion matrix stack if the gradient is inverted".

There were, en outre, numerous fixes and rocket engine performance improvements. We also introduced two new cockpit views to track the current flight status: the Facts And Figures screen displays various metrics during and at the end of the trip, while the Calendar App keeps track of all the space debris collected along the flight path.

That's very interesting. The prototype must be much safer now, especially compared to the versions you tested at the INDIGO SKIES and SpaceAdventureX events last year.

Tout à fait! And let's not forget the Independent Rocketry Showcase, the Test & Fly event, and the numerous people who tried our prototype rocket kit at home and streamed it online. We're really thankful to everyone who got injured to get us closer towards uncovering the dark mysteries of the great beyond.

And closer to lining your pockets, no doubt. Moving on, you mentioned hiring new colleagues.

Oui, c'est juste. People are surprised when I say this, Kaftan, but I've been writing all of the company's press releases from the very beginning. I simply enjoy doing it! laughs. English is obviously not my mother tongue, and so a lot of mistakes were made. Thankfully, we now have a professional editor, Julia Seeholzer, to help us sort out all the there's, theirs, and they'res!

More recently, Shannon Mason, the celebrated composer also known as Pongball, has joined the team, and is already working on some exciting tunes. Some of these will be played during the long elevator rides to the underground mines beneath the lunar resort. Manual space labor doesn't have to be boring, after all!

Are we still talking about space tourists? Anyway, with all the feedback, exposure, and new colleagues, it sounds like you're on target for this year's big launch. What are you working on these days?

Like I said, the focus is finally back to developing new things. Last year we worked on a western themed area in the planned resort. We're wrapping that up while also constructing a magnificent coliseum and an underwater village. There's a lot going on behind the scenes that we can't talk about yet. We want it to be une grande surprise for our precious guests.

As for the planned launch, it's still going according to plan, and we're doing our best to meet our summer targets. With that said, the prototype showed us that no matter how much testing we do, actual users will keep uncovering all the bugs… I mean, easter eggs, we intentionally add. Quality Assurance remains the biggest unknown at the moment.

On the other hand, we've invested in a very solid foundation over the years, and everyone's doing their best to finally give humanity the salvation it so desperately needs. One way or another, I'm confident that this year is the year of Kosmomash. After all, we only need to ensure that half the tourists actually make it to the moon. How hard can it be?

Who knows? It's not like we're talking about rocket science or anything. In any case, thank you, Monsieur Conman, for your valuable time, and good luck with your ambitious plans for this year. I hope we get to talk again after the first batch of tourists make it to the moon.

Moi aussi! Thank you for having me, Herr Kaftan.

[lanabriggs]

Why Tough Conversations Define True Leadership

In the quiet moments behind closed office doors, leadership reveals its true character—not through visionary speeches or strategic triumphs, but through the willingness to deliver difficult messages with clarity and compassion. The ability to articulate hard truths separates managers who simply oversee processes from leaders who transform organizations and develop people.

Michael Shvartsman, an investor who has observed leadership across dozens of companies, reflects: "The measure of a leader isn't how they celebrate victories, but how they navigate difficult conversations. Avoiding tough messages creates organizational rot—it erodes trust, delays necessary changes, and ultimately makes challenges harder to solve."

The High Cost of Comfortable Silence.

Organizations falter when leaders prioritize short-term harmony over long-term health. A CEO who hesitates to address underperformance in the C-suite sets a cultural precedent that mediocrity trickles down through every layer. A manager who avoids giving direct feedback deprives employees of opportunities to grow. These accumulated evasions compound into existential threats.

The most effective leaders recognize that temporary discomfort prevents lasting damage. They understand that clear expectations—even when painful to deliver—create psychological safety by eliminating uncertainty. Employees may not enjoy hearing difficult messages, but they respect leaders who communicate honestly rather than allowing problems to fester.

"Ambiguity is cruelty in disguise," notes Michael Shvartsman. "When leaders withhold hard truths to spare feelings, they often create far greater pain down the road through confusion, stalled careers, or sudden terminations that could have been prevented with timely honesty."

The Anatomy of Effective Difficult Delivery.

Mastering tough conversations requires balancing several delicate dynamics. The message must land with sufficient weight to convey seriousness, yet leave room for growth and redemption. Timing matters—addressing issues early prevents small concerns from becoming irreversible problems. Setting shapes reception—private settings preserve dignity while public corrections often breed resentment.

Skilled communicators anchor difficult messages in shared objectives rather than personal criticism. They focus on observable behaviors and impacts rather than assumed intentions. They offer a path forward while maintaining clear boundaries. Perhaps most importantly, they demonstrate through their own example that receiving tough feedback is as important as delivering it.

The Trust Paradox.

Counterintuitively, the ability to deliver hard messages strengthens rather than weakens relationships when done with care. Employees instinctively sense when leaders avoid difficult conversations, interpreting it as lack of investment rather than kindness. By contrast, respectful honesty demonstrates belief in an individual's potential to improve.

Michael Shvartsman observes: "The strongest professional relationships I've seen all share this trait—both parties can say 'This isn't working' without fear of collapse. That level of trust only comes through repeated demonstrations of care during tough conversations."

Organizational Immune Systems.

Companies that normalize constructive difficult discussions develop resilience against larger crises. Problems surface earlier when employees trust that concerns will be heard rather than punished. Innovation thrives when teams can challenge ideas without fear of reprisal. Cultural health improves when issues get addressed rather than avoided.

This dynamic creates a virtuous cycle. Leaders who handle tough conversations well attract and retain employees who value growth over comfort. These employees, in turn, raise standards for the entire organization. Over time, the collective ability to face hard truths becomes a competitive advantage.

The Leader's Mirror.

Delivering difficult messages requires equal parts self-awareness and courage. Leaders must examine their own motives—ensuring they're addressing real issues rather than personal irritations. They need to separate professional standards from individual preferences. They should prepare to receive feedback about their own shortcomings in return.

"The best leaders approach tough conversations with humility," says Michael Shvartsman. "They recognize their own fallibility even while addressing others' shortcomings. This balance prevents difficult messages from feeling like pronouncements from on high."

The Ripple Effects of Clarity.

When leaders consistently demonstrate the courage to be clear, the impact extends far beyond individual conversations. Teams develop cultures where feedback flows freely in all directions. Organizations make necessary pivots before crises force their hand. Strategies evolve based on reality rather than wishful thinking.

As Michael Shvartsman concludes: "In the long arc of leadership, the willingness to deliver hard messages with care may be the single most underdeveloped skill. Those who master it create organizations where truth is valued over comfort—and where both performance and humanity can flourish."

For aspiring leaders, the lesson is clear: Technical skills and strategic vision matter, but the ability to navigate difficult conversations determines whether those assets translate into lasting impact. The most respected leaders aren't those who avoid tough messages, but those who deliver them with such clarity and care that recipients feel valued even while being challenged. In this delicate balance lies the art of true leadership.