#working on receiving constructive feedback as an avoidant person

[irrec]

If you don't

send me messages telling me how much you appreciate me and love spending time with me after we hang out- pls leave me alone.

getting older means realizing that allll of your relationships are a choice that you have to keep making.

I love reminding my people why I'll always choose them, unconditionally.

[physalian]

The Dos and Don’ts of Giving and Receiving Constructive Criticism

Some of these should be painfully obvious and yet. They come from experience.

Receiving feedback:

Do

Understand that a criticism of a character’s thoughts, actions, morality, and choices are likely not a criticism of you as an author, unless the character is an author insert

Understand that they are being paid to critique how successfully you told an entertaining story, not pander to your trauma dumping

Understand that critiquing a book’s success as an entertaining story means that how much you yourself connect with or love a character or scene or plotline is irrelevant if it doesn’t make a compelling narrative

You might have written your book for yourself. Your editor is a different person with their own human biases and perspectives. If you just want to pay someone to stoke your ego, make that 100% clear up front.

Stand up for yourself and clarify where necessary if some details were overlooked or if explaining outside the narrative can better contextualize anything confusing or lacking detail.

Stand up for yourself in what feedback you are expecting, and what degree of criticism you’re willing to endure. An editor can let more or less of their own views show depending on what you ask for.

Stand up for yourself if your editor delivers inadequate or useless feedback. You’re paying them for a job, and you deserve to have it done properly.

Try to separate dislike of a book from dislike of yourself. It’s not easy, but the goal is to fix your book that you’ve already spent a lot of time writing, and they’re only trying to help.

Remember that your author insert is subjected to the same level of criticism as any other character, and that you asked for this.

Keep an open mind and be prepared for feedback that you don’t like, because you can’t please everyone. Your editor should be able to tell you whether or not a scene or character, or plotline works separate from their own personal tastes.

Don’t

Argue with your editor over their religiosity or lack thereof and insist that adhering to genre expectations means they “worship the god of [genre]”. (really, argue with your editor over anything like this, e.g. their own sexuality, religiosity, gender, socioeconomic status).

Argue with your editor while still expecting more work from them as if your aggression will in any way positively impact their perception of your book.

Insult your editor’s intelligence for not understanding your jargon and attempts to sound smarter than you are.

Get mad when your editor sees right through your BS and calls it like they see it, specifically your self-insert Mary Sue protagonist.

Insist that the solution to better understanding your book is for that editor to do extensive homework on your niche topic. If it’s a niche book for niche audiences, hire an editor who’s already knowledgeable about that niche topic.

Equate a bad review and opinion of the book with unprofessionalism. These can overlap, but they are not interchangeable.

Forget that your book is probably meant for leisure and entertainment, and your audience is under no obligation to read “until it gets good,” when they can go do literally anything else. Your first job is to entertain, if you write fiction.

Giving Feedback:

Do

Pay attention to your client’s wants and needs and expectations. If they’re more sensitive to bad feedback, do your best and stay as objective as possible. You can’t please everyone, either.

Helpful feedback includes an explanation of why an element needs work and how it can be improved. Saying “I hate this” with nothing else helps no one and just makes the author feel bad with no direction of how to make it better.

Communicate beforehand how much of your own personality your author wants from you. Do they like personal opinions and your personal reactions to the text, or do they want it as impersonal as possible and solely focused on the structure of the narrative? This might avoid a mess.

Remember to leave notes of where things worked well to balance the criticism. Even a simple “this is good” highlighting a line or a paragraph or two helps keep authors motivated to keep writing. I firmly believe that no book is completely unsalvageable.

Make it painfully clear with no room for debate that criticism of a character is not criticism of the author, unless it's an author insert, in which case the author absolutely asked for it.

Make it clear that you are just one person and these are all suggestions, not laws.

Don’t

Let your own personal opinions cloud your judgment of whether or not someone with different tastes could enjoy the book.

Unless given permission, get too personal with the narrative and reach beyond what’s written on the page.

Do more than what you’re paid for. You’re an editor, not a therapist for the writer’s trauma dumping.

Forget to wrap up all your thoughts in a condensed format that the author can reference, as opposed to endlessly scrolling through the manuscript trying to summarize your points for you.

Walk away with absolutely nothing positive to say about the manuscript. Even if it’s awful on every front, the writer still tried and that deserves merit.

This is from my personal experience beta and sensitivity reading, and dealing with other beta and sensitivity readers. We are all human and these jobs are not one-size-fits-all and there aren’t really hardline rules as every author, editor, and manuscript is different with different needs.

Just some things to keep in mind.

But also, for the authors who do write self-insert Mary Sues: You are in for a very rude awakening if you expect anyone other than yourself to adore your book with zero criticism. If you really just want someone to proofread and look for typos, tell them.

[bisexualamy]

the irony of all of these armchair critics online offering "feedback" or "constructive/critical critique" is they demonstrate that they've never been in a productive critique environment. i feel like a lot of folks assume critique is supposed to be brutal or crushing or "tough love" when that's often not the case.

one of the first lessons you learn as a creative person receiving regular crit is to separate yourself as a person from the work you create. the point is that you don't feel personally attacked when someone criticizing an aspect of your work. the goal of crit is to improve the work. everyone is supposed to leave crit with something to fix, a direction to go in, a piece of feedback they can work with to make something better.

i've been in many critique environments where the word "you" isn't permitted. you're not allow to address the writer/artist/creator directly, because it's not about them, it's about their work. instead of saying "you portrayed [x] minority experience in a racist way with little nuance" you'd say "I think this story portrays [x] minority experience without nuance and falls into racist tropes. Here's an example or two of where I saw that. I suggest you [get a sensitivity reader/research this topic further/familiarize yourself with racists tropes so you can avoid them.]"

the problem with a lot of critique online, the reason it creates a toxic environment, is because it's all framed as a personal attack and there's no constructive element for the creator to take with them. "do better" isn't feedback. "you're homophobic for writing this" isn't feedback. they're personal attacks. personal attacks are incompatible with artistic critique.

[jane-alma]

Advice for dealing with writer’s block, from a fellow writer

Okay, so I think we can all agree that writer's block sucks. And if you're someone who writes regularly, there's no way to avoid experiencing it from time to time (I sure know I do). But here are a few things that I usually find helpful when I experience writer’s block <3

Firstly, give yourself permission to take a break. Sometimes, the harder we push ourselves to write, the more elusive inspiration becomes. Step away from your writing for a little while and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could be anything from going for a walk, reading a book, or indulging in a hobby. By taking time to recharge, you allow your mind to reset and open up to new ideas. Sometimes it can be an longer break that is needed, sometimes the best way to get back into writing if you have a really bad case of writer’s block is to simply not try.

Another useful technique is to try freewriting. Set a timer for a specific duration, it can be as short as 10-15 minutes (personally, I prefer setting my timer for about half an hour to 45 minutes when I do this), and write continuously without worrying about grammar, punctuation, or structure. Let your thoughts flow freely onto the page. This exercise can help loosen up your creative muscles and break through any mental barriers. If you know that you have a tendency to overthink or be overly self critical when you write, I suggest avoiding a time duration longer than 30 minutes, at least the first times you do this exercise.

If you find yourself stuck on a particular project, consider working on something completely different. Switching gears and exploring a new topic or genre can provide a fresh perspective and alleviate the pressure you may be putting on yourself. Experimenting with different writing styles or formats can also help reignite your passion for storytelling.

Collaboration can be another effective way to overcome writer's block. Engage in writing exercises with fellow writers or seek feedback from trusted peers. Sharing your work-in-progress and receiving constructive criticism can often provide valuable insights and new directions for your writing.

Lastly, it's important to remember that writer's block is a natural part of the creative process. Be patient and kind to yourself. Avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk. Instead, focus on nurturing your creativity through self-care, reading, and exploring new experiences. Trust that inspiration will return in its own time.

And most importantly of all, be kind to yourself. We are usually our own biggest critic. Happy writing! <3

[aeth-eris]

Venus Square Transits

Venus Square Sun: This transit may bring about conflicts between personal desires and relationship needs. Focus on fostering open communication and mutual understanding within your relationships. Strive to find a balance between self-expression and compromise, and prioritize maintaining harmony and respect in your interactions.

Venus Square Moon: This transit can intensify emotional fluctuations and create challenges in finding emotional stability. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness to manage your emotional reactions, and prioritize open and honest communication within your relationships. Aim to foster a supportive and nurturing environment that encourages emotional understanding and empathy.

Venus Square Mercury: This transit may lead to misunderstandings and communication challenges. Focus on fostering clarity and empathy in your interactions, ensuring that you listen actively and express yourself diplomatically. Prioritize effective communication and mutual respect, and be open to constructive feedback to resolve any potential conflicts or misunderstandings.

Venus Square Mars: This transit may trigger conflicts and power struggles in relationships. Practice patience and understanding to navigate potential tensions, and prioritize constructive communication and mutual compromise. Aim to channel any passionate energy into productive and cooperative activities, fostering a sense of shared goals and mutual respect within your relationships.

Venus Square Jupiter: This transit may lead to conflicts between practicality and indulgence. Practice moderation and realistic goal-setting to manage expectations within your relationships. Foster a sense of gratitude and humility, and be mindful of maintaining a balanced approach to both giving and receiving support and affection.

Venus Square Saturn: This transit can bring about challenges in relationship commitments and responsibilities. Focus on fostering patience and understanding, and prioritize open communication to address any underlying tensions or insecurities. Aim to build a strong foundation of trust and reliability within your relationships, and be willing to work through any challenges together with maturity and dedication.

Venus Square Uranus: This transit may lead to sudden changes and disruptions in relationships. Practice flexibility and adaptability to navigate unexpected developments, and foster open communication to address any need for personal space and independence. Aim to find a balance between individuality and togetherness, fostering mutual respect and understanding within your relationships.

Venus Square Neptune: This transit can create challenges in maintaining boundaries and realistic expectations within relationships. Practice clarity and honesty to avoid misunderstandings and potential deceptions, and prioritize building a foundation of trust and emotional authenticity. Aim to foster a sense of empathy and understanding while maintaining a realistic perspective in your relationships.

Venus Square Pluto: This transit may trigger intense power dynamics and emotional transformations within relationships. Focus on fostering open and honest communication to address any underlying issues and power struggles. Prioritize mutual respect and trust, and be willing to confront and work through any deep-seated emotional issues with compassion and understanding.

[devsgames]

The Art of Feedback

(This post cross-posted from my Patreon. Please consider supporting for access to my unreleased game prototypes, devlogs and blog posts just like this one. It helps me pay rent and supports the work I do!)

The biggest, most important ability anyone working (or hoping to work) collaboratively in gamedev should have is giving targeted feedback.

I'm not saying "you should be able to honestly tell people that their work sucks", but rather you should be able to elegantly and politely express in what specific ways their work could use improvement and, most importantly, why you believe the feedback to be valid.

In my opinion this is a lifeline skill anyone working in games needs to have.

Not being able to give polite and targeted feedback is something that sets apart an amazing dev from a competent one, and generally will make your critiques feel less like an opinion and more like a fair and specific analysis of a feature. It's what separates A Random Gamer Online complaining about a video game apart from an actual dev identifying pain points on a piece of work.

So how do you do it?

Consent

By far, the biggest thing to remember about feedback in my opinion is that feedback is all about consent.

When giving feedback you need to be positive that all parties are aware and on the same page about the feedback and its role in the conversation, and that the party receiving the feedback even wants it in the first place.

There's been countless times I've had conversations in the industry where it was obvious someone was receiving feedback that was not wanted and didn't consent to it - whether it was way too premature, focusing on the wrong part of the feature, not wanted in the first place or coming from someone who may not have been desirable to hear feedback from.

How do you navigate this? Simply ask for consent first.

A simple "Are you interested in feedback on [x] feature?", or "Is there anything you want me to focus my feedback on?" should usually suffice. If yes, give feedback. If no, don't bother!

Not only does this establish a clear line of consent, it also ensures your feedback is useful and you're not giving feedback that will fall on ears that don't want to hear it.

Empathy

Receiving feedback for many people can be intimately personal. Everyone has things about their work that aren't satisfactory, and entering into territory where you're pointing out these flaws can be devastating if not done correctly. There's an assumption that "honest" feedback is the way to go, but "honesty" can be a double edged sword and there's a lot of devs who deal real damage to others under the guide of "just being honest about feedback". Good feedback should be presented in a way that the recipient can take it to heart without feeling hurt. These are not mutually exclusive ideas.

To avoid this situation, the "compliment sandwich" is a time-tested method. Soften the blow of critical feedback by pairing it with compliments before and after, which allows you to deliver the feedback without it feeling like a direct attack. It's rather soulless to say "you should always talk like this", so of course this is not the end-all-be-all, but it's a good starting point for understanding how to deliver feedback in a way that doesn't harm.

In fact, I've found the structure of compliments doesn't matter as long as you're keeping the mindset of being constructive and in a 'building up" mindset about your feedback, and not a tearing down one. Usually I aim to incorporate one point of critical feedback with one compliment is often enough to soften the blow in many cases.

As an example, saying "I think your placement of the car needs work" feels colder and tonally more harmful than "I love how your use of trees to direct the player through the space, but I think the placement of the car needs work". See how those could read differently?

Additionally, you can change up your method depending on the person you're speaking to and your relationship to them.

For example, first impressions based around feedback are important. If you're giving feedback to say, a peer or student you've never talked to before, leading with complements is key. If you've been in a feedback session for a while the conversation might naturally veer into being more or less critical at certain stages, and you may find striking a constant balance of compliments may not be necessary. If someone seems defensive or upset, it might be wise to pile on some more compliments to make them feel more at ease. If you're giving feedback to someone you've know for a long time and given feedback to before it's possible you may be comfortable enough together that you may not even need to compliment at all!

TARGET

I really want to emphasize this point because this is how you make giving feedback an efficient task. If you don't know what specifically the person receiving feedback wants to receive feedback on there's a good chance you'll end up giving feedback on absolutely everything about the game, and ignore the elements that need feedback the most by doing so.

I've been in this situation plenty of times: a feature in your game is only half-implemented compared to the rest of the game, and instead of focusing on giving feedback about [x] new feature your playtester instead spends 15 minutes talking about the feature that is lacking despite the fact you already know it's missing. The feedback isn't about the thing that you as a developer need feedback on the most, and instead covers territory you're already well aware of.

As someone giving feedback, consent comes back into this. Ask "Do you need feedback on [x]?", or "What do you need feedback on the most?". This puts the ball in their court to identify what you should look out for, as opposed to you playing through and simply pointing out flaws in everything regardless of context. It also means the feedback session is going to be more effective at targeting what they need help with the most, and will be most beneficial to them in the end. In context like meetings and student feedback sessions where time is limited, this is vital to ensuring you're not wasting anyone's time.

Another way to improve the targeting of your feedback is to ensure you understand your subject's goals, and tie your feedback into that. Without this your feedback can be wildly off-base.

For example, if your subject is making a project to learn new implementation techniques, it's not going to be useful to provide feedback about their game's polish that would be more applicable to someone, say, trying to ship a game. Asking what your feedback subject's goal is with their project - or even just ensuring you address that and have a surface-level understanding about what those goals may be - is going to put you in a position of understanding what kind of feedback to give.

With this knowledge in your pocket you can now give feedback through a narrower filter that will more effectively improve their work.

"Why?"

"Why?" is the single most important question you need to attempt to answer when giving feedback. Answering "why" is how important changes get made.

Anyone can say "I think [x] feature needs to change", but not anyone can identify why it needs to change, or in what capacity. There's nothing worse than receiving feedback where a director says "I didn't like this feature" and they fail to address why they think that way. Especially as a designer, "why" is a fundamental idea needed to back up any approach you might have to changing or implementing designs - and it's why designers are often in a better position to identify changes than the average player.

Before you give a piece of feedback, ask yourself "Why do I think this?", and be prepared to include that with your feedback.

"I don't like the way the movement feels because it makes it hard to keep the enemies in my sights" is vastly more useful than "I don't like the way the movement feels". It gives what you at least believe is an actionable, and the person receiving the feedback now has a problem they may need to consider going forward.

There's truly nothing more aggravating than hearing - "I don't like this thing" without a reason why. That why needs to exist because if it didn't people would simply be making changes for no reason except "the vibes are off", and a vibes-based approach isn't exactly a sustainable one from a development angle.

Conclusion

The best feedback is when it addresses specific targeted points that are relevant to the recipient's context in a way that isn't going to be harmful to them! It's not a matter of simply saying anything that comes to mind however you want, but addressing relevant pain points that will best help them improve their work. ✌️

[graveyard-party666]

Blood & Wine

The calm before the storm

I started writing this chapter in May. I tried finishing it in one week but as you can tell i couldn't. I only finished it a few weeks ago.

You can certainly tell that different parts of that chapter were written in different time and in different mental state. Also, I'm introducing my new OC here.

I honestly don't really like how it came out but it is what it is. You can call it a filler chapter.

Yes, it's long. Probably the longest chapter I've written.

Adult life brings so much obstacles. That Red understood when it turned or that she needs to talk to stupid people in order to work. Unfortunate.  Another thing Red learned during her work as a psychologist is the fact that you can't put your expectations too high, never tell your clients about the expectations or promise them the results. Because that's not how psychology works.

Another thing Red learned is the fact that having friends from different fields is very beneficial. As much as she would rather avoid all that military world, everything somehow leads to the military in the end. Even before she started working as a consultant for TF141 she had to work with a few soldiers who she still deeply respects.

Friendship offers a myriad of benefits for humans that extend far beyond mere social interaction. Firstly, friendships provide a crucial source of emotional support. Whether celebrating triumphs or weathering challenges, friends offer a listening ear, empathy, and understanding, which can help individuals navigate the complexities of life with greater ease.

Moreover, friendships contribute to reducing stress levels and enhancing overall mental well-being. Spending time with friends promotes the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin and serotonin, which can alleviate feelings of loneliness and anxiety. This, in turn, fosters a sense of happiness and contentment.

Furthermore, friendships serve as catalysts for personal growth and development. Through interactions with friends, individuals gain new perspectives, receive constructive feedback, and engage in self-reflection, which are essential components of self-improvement. Whether through shared experiences or intellectual discussions, friendships facilitate learning and expansion of one's worldview.

Social connection is a fundamental human need, and friendships fulfill this need by providing a sense of belonging and acceptance. Feeling connected to others fosters a sense of community and strengthens interpersonal bonds, which can bolster self-esteem and confidence.

During times of adversity, friendships become invaluable resources for resilience. Having a support network of friends can help individuals cope with challenges, providing encouragement, motivation, and practical assistance when needed most. Knowing that one is not alone in facing life's trials can instill a sense of hope and perseverance.

In summary, friendships enrich our lives in myriad ways, offering emotional support, reducing stress, fostering personal growth, enhancing social connection, and bolstering resilience. Investing in meaningful friendships is not only enjoyable but also essential for nurturing our overall well-being and fulfillment.

Or at least that's what psychology books say.

To Red friendship is something nobody could ever put in words or explain.

Friendship, she pondered, was a tapestry woven from moments shared, laughter echoing through the halls of memory, and the silent understanding between souls. It was the comforting presence on a dark night, the unwavering support during turbulent times, and the joy found in simple companionship.

To her, friendship was more than just a bond; it was a lifeline, a beacon of light guiding her through the darkest of storms. And as she stood there, enveloped by the tranquil beauty of the night, she couldn't help but feel grateful for the cherished friends who had become her family, her anchors in an ever-changing world.

Too poetic, isn't it? That's why it's better not to talk about it.

What she knew exactly is that friend will always help, always warn you. That's how she was. That's what she asks from people.

Since professor Benar started helping her with profile, those thoughts about friendship and its meaning somehow became much more constant.

The weird gut feeling that was eating her up almost every day was getting unbearable. Something didn't feel right. It's as if that case was much deeper than she thought and then everyone else thought.

Her friendship with the soldiers of Task Force 141 can be called strange, incomprehensible, naive. But Red doesn’t care much about what their friendship might be called. But the relationship with the professor can hardly be called friendship. Yes, perhaps Red has become paranoid, but for some reason the appearance of her so respected professor raises a lot of questions, but only for her.

The professor always seemed to be watching the girl's slightest movement.  He is a genius, a professional, and Red has learned to analyze any of his words or actions, looking for hidden subtext. Abel Benar was not one to do or say anything just for the sake of it. And he himself believed that there was some kind of secret meaning in everything.

Why did he came now?

Red sat in her office, the soft ticking of the clock on the wall marking the passage of time. Her office was a sanctuary of calm, with shelves lined with books on psychology, a well-worn leather couch for patients, and her desk neatly organized. Yet, despite the serenity of her surroundings, her mind was anything but calm. She leaned back in her chair, her eyes unfocused as she stared at a spot on the ceiling, lost in thought.

Hassan's file lay open on her desk, the pages filled with notes, transcripts, and psychological evaluations. A name that had become synonymous with terror in the media, was her latest and most challenging case. The more she delved into his mind, the more she felt an unsettling, nagging sensation in her gut that there was something much deeper and more complex at play.

She flipped through the pages, her eyes scanning the meticulously detailed notes. Hassan's background was filled with trauma, loss, and radicalization, a story all too common in the profiles of terrorists. But there were inconsistencies, fragments of his story that didn't quite fit. Red couldn't shake the feeling that Hassan wasn't just a product of his environment; there was something else, something unseen that was influencing him.

Red turned her chair towards the window, looking out at the city skyline. Her instincts had never led her astray before. She had a talent for seeing the patterns that others missed, for understanding the hidden motives behind human behavior. And her instincts were screaming at her now that there was more to Hassan's story than met the eye.

Reaching for her phone, Red dialed the number of her contact. She only had a few minutes before professor Benar comes back. And the last thing she wants right now is getting him into her assumptions based on intuition. So she called that one person. The person she could trust, the soldier who can be trust. The one who she had an unlike friendship with. Who knows not to call her by her name.

She needed more information, more pieces of the puzzle to fit together. As she waited for the call to connect, she glanced back at Hassan's file, her resolve hardening. She would get to the bottom of this, no matter how deep she had to dig.

Because Red knew that understanding Hassan wasn't just about profiling a terrorist. It was about uncovering a truth that could prevent future atrocities, about seeing the humanity even in those society deemed monsters. And her gut told her that the truth about Hassan was far more complicated and far more important than anyone realized.

The phone clicked as the line connected, and Red steeled herself for the conversation ahead. She would follow her instincts, no matter where they led her, because sometimes the mind's darkest corners held the key to understanding, and she was determined to unlock it.

As the phone rang, Red glanced back at Hassan's file, her resolve hardening.

"Hey, Red," came Major Adam Black's deep, steady voice on the other end of the line. "Long time no hear. What’s up?"

"Adam," she began, a small smile tugging at her lips despite the seriousness of the situation. "I will be talking quickly. I need your help. I'm working on infamous terrorist's psychological profile, and there's something off. I can't put my finger on it, but my gut is telling me there's more to this than anyone realizes."

"Figures you'd call with a puzzle," Adam chuckled, a warm, familiar sound. "You always did love the tricky ones. What’s the scoop?"

"I need more information," she said. "There are gaps in his story, inconsistencies that don't make sense. I think it's important. I think it's something bigger than CIA thinks it is."

"Intriguing," Adam replied, his tone growing more serious. "Alright, send me everything you have. I’ll reach out to some contacts. We'll crack this together."

"Thanks, Adam," Red said, relief washing over her. "I knew I could count on you."

"Always," he said, the smile evident in his voice. "I missed this, you know? Stay safe, Red. We'll get to the bottom of this."

As she ended the call, Red felt a renewed sense of determination. She would follow her instincts, no matter where they led her, because sometimes the mind's darkest corners held the key to understanding, and she was determined to unlock it.

She's alone in this.

The sudden feeling of anxiety washed over Red as she started thinking about this whole ordeal. There is the certain connection in everything, the pattern is obvious yet confusing.

Working with professor was easy, he never once made Red feel like she's not smart enough. But the team kept its distance from him which were understandable. They didn't trust Red at first too, probably still don't trust her completely.

Red glanced at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time that afternoon. The day had dragged on, with deadlines piling up and meetings blending into one another. She wasn’t alone in her longing for the workday to end. Red could feel the same restlessness in the air from her colleagues, all of them itching to close their laptops with unfinished reports and escape the monotony of the HQ.

What kept her going was the thought of the evening ahead—a moment when the day would finally end, and she could unwind with the people she had shared this long day with. To listen Price's stories, to try and mediate between Gaz and Soap's bickering, to sit in silence with Ghost. There was something comforting about the idea of sitting together, laughing over casual conversation, and raising a glass at the end of it all. Red could almost taste the drink she would share with them, the laughter that would echo across the table, and the sense of relief that would come when they were no longer coworkers, but just friends, relaxing after a long day. And maybe she would even forget about her insecurities and believe for a moment that they trust her.

Red tapped her fingers against the desk, her mind drifting away from the spreadsheets and emails demanding her attention. Outside, the golden light of early evening was already filtering through the windows, signaling the end of the day was near. She sighed, shifting in her seat, knowing there were still a few more tasks to check off before she could truly relax. But her thoughts kept returning to the same place: the moment when work would finally be over.

She could already picture it in her head—how she and her colleagues would gather at their favorite spot down the street. The usual post-work ritual, where they would trade in the stress of the HQ for the easy comfort of shared drinks and stories. Red liked these moments the most, when the formalities of the workday faded away and they could just be themselves. There was a sense of camaraderie that only seemed to emerge when the workday was behind them, as if the exhaustion of the hours before somehow strengthened their bond.

Red imagined the laughter bubbling up as someone made a joke, or the way a cold drink felt in hand after a day of constant work. She wanted to feel that sense of release, the collective sigh they would all share as they eased into the evening, knowing that for a little while, the responsibilities of tomorrow could wait. In those moments, with the warmth of her colleagues around her and the sharp bite of a drink on her tongue, Red always felt a little more alive, as if the whole day had been leading up to this one point of connection and relief.

As the clock finally approached the end of the shift, the office buzzed with a sense of impending freedom. Red's thoughts were already dancing around the idea of drinks with her colleagues when the door swung open with a creak. In walked Soap, his unmistakable presence lighting up the room. Readheaded woman still couldn't understand how him and the rest became such an important part of her life.

“Come on, Red!” he called out, his thick Scottish accent slicing through the chatter. “Are ye gonna sit there all day or what? The pub’s waitin’!”

Red looked up, her anticipation of the evening sparking into excitement at his familiar, boisterous tone. Soap had a knack for bringing energy wherever he went, and his playful urgency made her smile.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming!” she replied, quickly gathering her things. He leaned against her desk, arms crossed, grinning as he waited, clearly amused by her flustered pace.

“Ye’ve been workin’ like a dog today with that professor of yours,” he teased, his eyes twinkling. “A wee break’s long overdue. The others will be there already, drinkin’ our share!”

With a final glance at the clock, Red felt the last vestiges of the workday melt away. Soap’s enthusiasm was contagious, and she felt a rush of relief and eagerness to escape the office confines. As she rushed to join him, Soap stepped back, gesturing dramatically toward the door as if it were a grand entrance.

“After ye, lass!” he said with a mock bow, and they both laughed, ready to leave the workday behind and embrace the evening ahead.

The pub wasn't busy, woman could see why Task Force's soldiers prefer this place. It's peaceful. The blues plays softly in the back, some posters on the walls. Feels cool.

As Red and Soap stepped into the dimly lit pub, the warm atmosphere enveloped them like a welcoming embrace.

“Look who finally made it!” chuckled Gaz from their usual corner table, raising his glass in a cheerful toast. Captain Price sat beside him, a knowing smile on his face as he took a sip of his drink. Ghost leaned back in his chair, his signature skull mask partially obscuring his expression, but Red couldn’t shake the sense of intensity that surrounded him.

“Hope ye didn’t wait long,” Soap said, swaggering toward the table with an exaggerated air. Red followed, feeling the excitement of the evening lift her spirits.

“Not at all. We saved a spot for you two,” Price replied, gesturing to the empty seats. Red slid into the booth next to Ghost, acutely aware of how close they were. His presence was comforting yet intimidating, making it hard to focus on anything else.

The conversation flowed easily as drinks were poured and stories exchanged. Soap regaled them with tales of the day’s mishaps, earning hearty laughter from Gaz and Price. Readhead joined in, her laughter ringing out, but her gaze would occasionally drift toward Ghost. He seemed quieter than the others, his eyes observing the interactions with a subtle intensity that intrigued her.

“You alright, Red?” Ghost suddenly asked, his voice low and steady, breaking through her thoughts. She blinked, surprised he had noticed her moment of silence.

“Yeah, just… enjoying the stories,” she replied, trying to keep her tone casual. She felt a warmth rise in her cheeks, hoping the dim light would mask her slight embarrassment.

'Good job... keep staring and embarrassing yourself,' psychologist couldn't help but scold herself.

“Ye’re too quiet for a night out,” Soap teased, nudging her. “What’s got yer attention?”

Red shot him a playful glare, grateful for the distraction. “Nothing, just thinking about how much work I’m going to have tomorrow,” she deflected, a smile on her lips.

“Ah, come on!” Gaz chimed in. “Leave the work behind for tonight! We’ve got drinks and good company. That’s what matters.”

Red nodded, trying to immerse herself in the moment. The night wore on, laughter growing louder as the drinks flowed freely, creating a sense of camaraderie that felt invigorating.

As the evening unfolded, psychologist felt a comfortable connection with her colleagues, Ghost included. His occasional glances in her direction made her heart race, but she pushed the feeling aside, focusing instead on the camaraderie and joy that filled the air. Ghost may have caught her eye more than once. For example, when he caught her dancing in her office... but she was determined not to read too much into it, especially knowing her issues with commitment. After all, it was just a night out with people she is working with, and woman intended to enjoy every minute of it.

As the night continued to unfold in the cozy pub, the atmosphere was filled with laughter and conversations. Captain Price leaned back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Alright, lads,” he said, gaining the attention of everyone at the table. “I've got something to show you.”

He pulled out his phone, scrolling through photos until he landed on an old one. With a grin, he turned the screen toward the group. “Check this out."

The table leaned in, curiosity piqued. The image revealed a much younger Price in his Lieutenant days, looking surprisingly clean-shaven and almost boyish. His trademark cap was nowhere to be seen, and his blue eyes sparkled with youthful energy.

“Blimey, is that really you?” Soap exclaimed, barely containing his laughter. “You look like a completely different person without the beard!”

Gaz chuckled, unable to help himself. “You almost look… approachable!” he added playfully, his eyes dancing with amusement.

Price smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Approachable? I’ll have you know I was just as intimidating back then,” he shot back, feigning offense.

“Intimidating? You look like you just stepped off a school bus!” Gaz chimed in, shaking his head with a grin.

Even Ghost, who typically maintained his grumpy, stoic demeanor, chuckled softly at the sight. He tilted his head slightly as he examined the picture, a hint of a smile breaking through his usual composure. “Still had the same steely glare,” he remarked, his voice low but laced with amusement.

Then Red leaned in closer, squinting at the picture with mock seriousness. “Jesus Christ, Captain… you should have told me you're naked in that picture!” she exclaimed, the words slipping out before she could stop herself.

The table erupted into laughter, and Price’s eyes widened in playful shock. “I’m not naked!” he protested, trying to regain his composure. “It’s just a lack of facial hair, that’s all!”

“Right, right,” Red said with a smirk, enjoying the banter. “But seriously, it’s a whole new look for you.”

“Very funny,” Price replied, feigning annoyance but unable to hide his smile. “But you’ve got to admit, I was quite the dashing young officer.”

“Dashing?” Soap cackled. “More like fresh-faced! I can’t believe you went for the clean-shaven look. What were you thinkin’?”

Price shrugged, the laughter still bubbling around the table. “I was young and foolish, obviously. It was a different time—no need for the beard when I was trying to impress the brass.”

The group continued to laugh and share stories, the camaraderie flowing freely. Red felt a warmth spread through her, the memories and banter weaving a tapestry of friendship that made her heart feel full. Even Ghost’s rare chuckle added to the evening's lightheartedness, making it all the more enjoyable.

This felt... right. No professors, no terrorists. But the feeling that it was calm before the storm wasn't leaving Red's mind. The anxiety of what might come next was bothering her, and maybe she should listen to her doubts.

Dubito ergo cogito, cogito ergo sum.

Tag list: @cloudofbutterflies92 @chloekistune

[astrojulia]

Feedback Tips to give to your Reader

~ 10 tips for your feedback after receiving a tarot or chart reading

Navigation:   ੈ♡˳Masterlist    

       ੈ♡˳Askbox    ੈ♡˳Sources

Providing feedback is essential in helping Tarot or Natal Chart readers improve their skills and understand how their readings resonate with their clients. And if you're not an as****e you already wondered how you would do it. Here's a list of tips on how to give good feedback:

Be specific: When giving feedback, try to provide specific examples or instances that stood out to you during the reading. This allows the reader to understand what aspects were particularly meaningful or accurate.

Focus on the positive: Start your feedback by highlighting the aspects of the reading that resonated with you or provided valuable insights. Positive reinforcement can encourage the reader to continue their good work and build confidence.

Be constructive: If there are areas that you felt could be improved or clarified, offer constructive criticism. Be tactful and respectful in your suggestions, focusing on how the reader can enhance their skills rather than pointing out flaws or mistakes.

Express your emotions and experiences: Share how the reading made you feel or how it affected you personally. By expressing your emotional response, the reader can gauge the impact of their reading and understand its significance.

Provide context: If there were specific circumstances or questions that you were hoping the reading would address, explain them to the reader. This information can help the reader understand your expectations and tailor future readings accordingly.

Be honest: Honesty is crucial in feedback. If something didn't resonate with you or if you found the reading confusing, respectfully communicate your concerns. This helps the reader understand different perspectives and learn from the experience.

Avoid judgment or personal attacks: It's important to maintain a respectful and empathetic tone in your feedback. Avoid criticizing the reader's abilities, beliefs, or personal qualities. Instead, focus on the content and delivery of the reading.

Offer suggestions for improvement: If you have any ideas or suggestions for how the reader can enhance their skills or presentation, share them in a supportive manner. This can provide valuable insights and perspectives for the reader's growth.

Appreciate the effort: Remember to express your appreciation for the reader's time, effort, and dedication. Acknowledge their commitment to their craft and the value they bring through their readings.

Follow up if necessary: If you receive a response from the reader or have further questions or concerns, engage in a constructive dialogue. This can deepen your understanding of the reading and provide an opportunity for clarification or additional insights.

By following these tips, you can provide meaningful and helpful feedback to tarot or Natal Chart readers, supporting their growth and development while also enhancing your own experience.

Kisses from the Sea!

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[lawgrain]

What's your thoughts on receiving a random review of someone asking you to read their story just because it's in the same fandom, and they want your feedback on it?

Mixed? I'd be flattered if people wanted my opinion or hold my opinion in a positive light. I just feel there's a lot of pressure with the idea? If someone holds my opinion that high then I don't want to disappoint if there has to be constructive criticism. There's always things that aren't my cup of tea but that doesn't mean it's bad. Also, I've found that I'll stray from reading a fandom I write in to avoid overloading myself on the fandom.

In a different light, I don't personally mind being asked but it needs to be understood not to expect a yes. The way that request is phrased does matter and could change my take on it. If it comes across as a demand or is in disregard to the writer in will come across differently. I also think it might be a thing to acknowledge their work before asking for something if it's in their ao3 comments. If it's a dm or an ask, I'm not sure I'd care as much if a work is brought up. The more I type the more I realize how this is a complicated topic. If anyone wants to chime in the comments, please chime on in!

[octopuscityblues]

February 2024 Update - Kaf & the Octonauts

Hello everyone. This is your host Kaftan von Kaffeeklatsch and you're listening to the Cosmic Millipede Podcast, the show about rocket ships, red quasars, and the search for extraterrestrial life. Before getting to today's interview, I'd like to apologize for the delay since our last episode. We've been quite busy preparing content for the new year, so it took more time than expected.

Today's sponsor is the Ghost in a Bottle Consortium. Do check out their upcoming Octopus City Simulation that's coming soon. You can already download a lengthy demo on Steam, itch.io or GOG. Oh, and if you're reading the transcript after the episode, we took the liberty of adding the latest Octopus City Blues screenshots for you to admire.

Our guest today needs no introduction. I'm talking about the infamous business tycoon, the world's wealthiest person, and the founder of Kosmomash Rockets, Constantin Mandibule. Unless you've been living under a rock for the last ten years, I'm sure you're familiar with Kosmomash's long-awaited projects: the first privately-developed rocket to carry tourists to the moon, and the ambitious luxury resort they're building over there.

Monsieur Constantin Mandibule, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to have this chat.

It's my pleasure, Kaftan. And please, there's no need for formalities. Just call me ConMan—all my friends do.

Uh… all right, Monsieur Conman. Last year was a very important one for Kosmomash, wasn't it?

Absolutement! It was also different—much more business-focused than previous years. Between showcasing our rocket prototypes publicly and at industry events, talking to potential partners, and onboarding new talent, comparatively less time was spent on developing rocket components. These activities were all essential for establishing a strong promotional foundation for this year's big launch. With that out of the way, we are currently back to focusing on construction.

How exciting! The prototype you unveiled during the Next Fest Aerospace Convention caused quite a stir among the attendees. Could you tell us more about it?

What I can tell you, Kaftan, is that it took a lot of hard work to finally get the prototype out the door. It was useful preparation for our final launch, too. For example, working with STEAM's [Editor's Note: Space Tourism Enforcement And Monitoring agency] launch regulations and cloud computing infrastructure forced us to optimize our release processes.

The feedback we received from the attendees was extremely valuable as well; while some of the casualties were avoidable, we continue to learn from every tragedy. Au fait, we just published a new version of our prototype specs a couple of weeks ago, fixing many issues encountered by real users in the wild.

The accidents were regrettable, but the altar of technology demands its sacrifices. What are some of the lessons learned from the launch of the prototype?

Euh… much of it has to do with improving the user experience. For example, our DAISY module is programmed to react to the needs of space tourists. However, as post-war treaties ban the use of AI, we have to manually write responses to every potential user query. Watching so many lab ra—err, people, try the demo helped us identify hundreds of new DAISY responses.

Another finding from the handful of unfortunate incidents was that the control systems were not very intuitive to first-time users. As the average space tourist isn't a trained pilot, we had to place large signs all over the space module—really obvious warnings such as "Keep the windows closed after launch", "Repeatedly press the red button to breathe", or "Carefully arrange the fusion matrix stack if the gradient is inverted".

There were, en outre, numerous fixes and rocket engine performance improvements. We also introduced two new cockpit views to track the current flight status: the Facts And Figures screen displays various metrics during and at the end of the trip, while the Calendar App keeps track of all the space debris collected along the flight path.

That's very interesting. The prototype must be much safer now, especially compared to the versions you tested at the INDIGO SKIES and SpaceAdventureX events last year.

Tout à fait! And let's not forget the Independent Rocketry Showcase, the Test & Fly event, and the numerous people who tried our prototype rocket kit at home and streamed it online. We're really thankful to everyone who got injured to get us closer towards uncovering the dark mysteries of the great beyond.

And closer to lining your pockets, no doubt. Moving on, you mentioned hiring new colleagues.

Oui, c'est juste. People are surprised when I say this, Kaftan, but I've been writing all of the company's press releases from the very beginning. I simply enjoy doing it! laughs. English is obviously not my mother tongue, and so a lot of mistakes were made. Thankfully, we now have a professional editor, Julia Seeholzer, to help us sort out all the there's, theirs, and they'res!

More recently, Shannon Mason, the celebrated composer also known as Pongball, has joined the team, and is already working on some exciting tunes. Some of these will be played during the long elevator rides to the underground mines beneath the lunar resort. Manual space labor doesn't have to be boring, after all!

Are we still talking about space tourists? Anyway, with all the feedback, exposure, and new colleagues, it sounds like you're on target for this year's big launch. What are you working on these days?

Like I said, the focus is finally back to developing new things. Last year we worked on a western themed area in the planned resort. We're wrapping that up while also constructing a magnificent coliseum and an underwater village. There's a lot going on behind the scenes that we can't talk about yet. We want it to be une grande surprise for our precious guests.

As for the planned launch, it's still going according to plan, and we're doing our best to meet our summer targets. With that said, the prototype showed us that no matter how much testing we do, actual users will keep uncovering all the bugs… I mean, easter eggs, we intentionally add. Quality Assurance remains the biggest unknown at the moment.

On the other hand, we've invested in a very solid foundation over the years, and everyone's doing their best to finally give humanity the salvation it so desperately needs. One way or another, I'm confident that this year is the year of Kosmomash. After all, we only need to ensure that half the tourists actually make it to the moon. How hard can it be?

Who knows? It's not like we're talking about rocket science or anything. In any case, thank you, Monsieur Conman, for your valuable time, and good luck with your ambitious plans for this year. I hope we get to talk again after the first batch of tourists make it to the moon.

Moi aussi! Thank you for having me, Herr Kaftan.

[cevansbrat0007]

I personally love as little description about a reader insert as possible. It truly allows anyone to read along and picture themselves in her place. As a women of color it’s great when writers are inclusive like that because anyone no matter their race or body shape can still have a fun time reading and escaping from reality. Thank you for all your hard work ❤️

That's fair. And I do try to do this, even when describing her quirks or features. I'm open about the fact that Reader is written as a POC, but as such the only descriptors I typically include revolve around her having kinky, curly hair. I purposely don't try to give her a skin tone so as to avoid alienating dark-skinned or light-skinned individuals.

I see her in my head as being short because I am also short. Always have been and I always will be. This also goes back to writing the type of content that I wish to see as well. But I would just like to point out that a lot of times when Andy refers to Reader has being "little" it's also because he's working to establish or, in some cases, reestablish, their shared power dynamic.

Because he's her Daddy. And she is his Baby.

The line above could also be a point of contention for some folks. But I don't particularly want to hear their opinions about it because, well, you don't have to read anything that goes against your taste or squicks you out. Because at the end of the day, our triggers are also our own responsibility.

So he's going to call her his "little girl". And I occasionally will make references to her being short because in my mind she just is. But that's where the power and beauty of imagination comes into play. If I come across a certain character I like who's described as being "blonde", I might still choose to imagine them as a brunette because the image I've conjured up fits better -- to me. Sometimes my brain just does what it wants.

But I will never make a fuss over it. I will choose to ignore it and reshape it, or write what I want to see. Which is exactly what I'my trying to do every time I publish a piece that I've written.

No matter what I do, I will never be able to please anyone. If I write about Reader having self-esteem issues people will disagree. If I write about Reader having stretch marks, like many of us do including myself, someone will claim that it's gross. If I incorporate too much slang, I run the risk of the Reader sounding too ghetto when I personally see her as being an educated woman who also happens to be black.

It's really frustrating sometimes if I allow myself to become bogged down by it.

And I'm so sorry that this is coming off as more of a venting session instead of a tailored response. But please know that I sincerely appreciate your being respectful while throwing in your two cents. Thank you for accepting the fact that I do try for acknowledging my hard work. And what's more, I appreciate your constructive feedback.

Had the initial anon who started stirred all this up on my blog this morning conducted themselves with even a modicum of the grace and tact that you possess, I would have a whole different vibe going right now. Because I too use these characters as an escape.

And when people tell me that something I've created acts a comfort to them - be it a character, feeling, or situation - that is, perhaps, the ultimate compliment that I can receive as a writer.

But instead I feel the need to defend myself when this is supposed to be fun. Argh.

Anyways, thanks boo.

-Britt

[phdrescue]

Navigating the First Year of Your PhD: Tips for Success

Navigating the First Year of Your PhD: Tips for Success

PhD is indeed an exciting yet challenging adventure. The first year can indeed be very overwhelming as the student tries to transition into advanced research and academia. However, with the right strategies and mindset, you can set a solid foundation for success. These are some of the essential tips that can help you to thrive during your first year as a PhD student.

Building a Solid Foundation

The first year of your PhD is all about laying the groundwork for the years ahead. Start by familiarizing yourself with the expectations of your program and advisor. Attend orientation sessions, seminars, and workshops to get a clear picture of what is required academically and administratively. Invest time in understanding your research topic and begin reviewing relevant literature. This will not only help you refine your research question but also identify gaps in existing knowledge.

Engage with resources such as academic journals, online databases, and library facilities. Think about taking courses or workshops in key skills like academic writing, data analysis, or coding if they are integral to your field of study.

Time Management

Balancing coursework, research, and personal life can be daunting, but effective time management is a game-changer. Start by creating a weekly schedule that prioritizes your tasks. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable milestones to maintain steady progress.

Use productivity tools like task managers, calendars, and timers to be organized. Schedule specific times for focused work, meetings, and personal activities. However, avoid overcommitting—leave room for unexpected challenges or opportunities. Remember, a well-rested mind is more productive than one constantly working without breaks.

Networking and Collaboration

Building a supportive network is crucial during your PhD. Connect with your peers, faculty members, and researchers in your field. Attend department events, conferences, and informal gatherings to forge meaningful relationships. These connections can lead to collaborative opportunities, valuable feedback, and emotional support.

Don't be afraid to seek advice from senior students or postdocs on how to navigate your program. They have been in your shoes and can give you practical tips on how to overcome common hurdles.

Managing Imposter Syndrome

You will often feel that you don't belong or that you are not capable enough. Imposter syndrome can really dent your confidence and motivation if unchecked. You were selected for your program because of your potential and past achievements.

Combat negative thoughts by focusing on progress rather than perfection. Celebrate small victories, such as completing a challenging assignment or receiving constructive feedback. Seek support from friends, family, or a counselor if needed. Remember, you’re not alone—many of your peers likely share similar feelings.

Setting Milestones

This is the best time to establish a roadmap for your PhD. Work with your advisor to outline short-term and long-term goals. Break down your objectives into achievable steps, such as completing coursework, drafting a research proposal, or learning a specific methodology.

Regularly review your progress and adjust your plans if needed. Monitoring your achievements will help you stay motivated and focused. Furthermore, having clear milestones makes it easier to communicate your progress to your advisor and committee. Conclusion

The first year of a PhD can be a thrilling and overwhelming experience, but with careful planning and proactive approach, you can lay the foundation for long-term success. Focus on building strong foundations, managing your time wisely, and fostering meaningful relationships. Don't let imposter syndrome hold you back, and always celebrate your progress. Thriving in your first year will position you for a rewarding and impactful PhD journey.

For further research assistance reach out to us on our whatsapp https://wa.me/919424229851/

[contestsfreepoetry]

Tips For The First Timers Who Participate In Online Poetry Contests

If you are a first-time participant in an online poetry contest, it is natural to feel both excited and a little nervous. Online poetry contests offer a great opportunity for poets to get their work seen and gain recognition, but there are a few things you should know to set yourself up for success. The most important factor to remember here is that these contests attract participants from various backgrounds. Among them some contestants may be seasoned professionals and others totally new to online contests. In other words, you will be competing with people over different caliber and not just the beginners or newbies.

When you are new to free poetry contests you must understand how each contest works. You must invest time to understand the contest guidelines. Each contest will have different rules about what type of poetry they are looking for, the word limit, and any specific themes you must follow. Sometimes contests are open to any type of poetry, while other times they may focus on a specific subject like nature, love, or social issues. Not following these guidelines could cause your submission to be disqualified, so be sure to read everything carefully before submitting.

If the contest allows, try to submit your poem early instead of waiting until the last minute. First-time participants may be nervous about submitting their work, but it is better to submit with time to spare in case any issues arise. Waiting until the deadline can cause stress and lead to mistakes that could have been avoided. By submitting early, you will also have time to address any issues that may come up after submission, such as technical problems or mistakes in the document format.

Another thing you should expect when entering an online free poetry contest is that it can take some time to hear back. The judging process is usually thorough, and depending on the number of submissions, it may take weeks or even months before winners are announced. During this waiting period, try to stay positive and not get discouraged. Many contests are very competitive, and not winning does not mean your poem is not good. Rejection is a part of every writer’s journey, and it can be an opportunity to learn and improve.

While waiting for the results, it is helpful to keep writing and submitting other poems to different contests. Do not get discouraged if your first contest submission does not result in a win. Keep building your portfolio and gaining more experience. Over time, you will develop your unique voice and style, and you will become more confident in your writing abilities.

You should learn to handle feedback well. When you participate in the online poetry contests, you will receive feedbacks from the judges as well as from the participants. Constructive criticism can help you identify areas where you can improve your work. Do not take feedback personally. Instead, use it as a tool to grow as a poet. Even if you do not agree with all of the feedback, consider it carefully and see if there are any changes you can make to improve your future submissions.

[jaimendonsa]

POSITIVE and NEGATIVE MENTAL TRIGGERS: learn how to master them

Judith Brentano

POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE MENTAL TRIGGERS: learn how to master them

Mental triggers are stimuli that trigger an emotional response and, consequently, influence behavior and decision-making. They can be positive, leading to constructive actions and pleasant emotions, or negative, inducing defense, fear or anxiety responses. Understanding how to identify and master these triggers is essential for personal development and improving quality of life.

This book offers ways to master POSITIVE MENTAL TRIGGERS, which are those that provoke beneficial emotions and reactions. They encourage actions that bring satisfaction, joy, and well-being:

• The anticipation of a reward can motivate desirable behaviors, such as persistence in difficult tasks. • Feeling part of a group or community can increase motivation and engagement.

• Being recognized for a job well done reinforces self-esteem and encourages repetition of the behavior.

• Certainty about what one should do or what to expect in a situation can generate security and tranquility.

• Identify which positive triggers affect you the most. Write down times when you felt motivated or happy and look for patterns.

• Reinforce these triggers in your daily life. For example, if recognition is a trigger for you, look for situations in which you can receive positive feedback.

• Create an environment that encourages these triggers. If belonging is important to you, get involved in communities or groups that share your interests.

This book also offers ways to master NEGATIVE MENTAL TRIGGERS, which are those that can induce stress, anxiety, and harmful behaviors:

• Fear of failure can paralyze and prevent actions that could be beneficial.

• Feeling pressured can lead to impulsive decisions or a reduction in performance.

• Uncertainty about the future or the results of an action can generate anxiety.

• Comparing yourself negatively to others can lower self-esteem and generate feelings of inadequacy.

• The first step is to identify your negative triggers. Note which situations or thoughts usually trigger reactions of fear, anxiety, or frustration.

• Work to reframe negative thoughts. For example, instead of thinking “I’m going to fail,” replace it with “I’m going to do my best and learn from the process.”

• Practice relaxation techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing, to reduce the immediate emotional response to negative triggers.

• Whenever possible, avoid environments that trigger negative triggers. If this is not possible, prepare yourself mentally to face them with a calm and rational approach.

This book offers thousands of ways to master mental triggers, both positive and negative, requiring self-knowledge and practice. By identifying these triggers, you can maximize your positive responses and mitigate negative ones, promoting emotional well-being and behavior more aligned with your personal and professional goals.

Bonus edition: “WE HAVE TRAUMATOLOGY”

eBook Kindle: POSITIVE and NEGATIVE MENTAL TRIGGERS: learn how to master them (English Edition) https://amzn.to/4fksUV3

GATILLOS MENTALES POSITIVOS Y NEGATIVOS: aprende a dominarlos (Spanish Edition) https://amzn.to/3Dnebvh

GATILHOS MENTAIS POSITIVOS E NEGATIVOS: saiba como dominá-los (Portuguese Edition) https://amzn.to/49uY1MF

[speechtherapysydney]

Unlocking the Power of Social Skills: A Guide to Building Stronger Connections

Social skills are the foundation of meaningful human interaction. They influence our personal and professional relationships, enhance our communication abilities, and foster understanding in a world that thrives on connection. Developing strong social skills can lead to improved mental health, career opportunities, and a greater sense of community. In this article, we'll explore what social skills are, their importance, and how to enhance them.

What Are Social Skills?

Social skills are the abilities that allow individuals to interact effectively and harmoniously with others. They encompass verbal and non-verbal communication, active listening, empathy, teamwork, and conflict resolution. Essentially, they are the tools we use to navigate social interactions successfully.

Why Are Social Skills Important?

Improved Relationships Social skills foster better communication, which strengthens personal and professional relationships. They help us express our needs, understand others, and resolve conflicts effectively.

Career Success Employers value soft skills like teamwork, adaptability, and effective communication. Strong social skills can set you apart in interviews and help you excel in collaborative environments.

Enhanced Mental Health Positive interactions and supportive relationships contribute to emotional well-being. Social skills help build these relationships, providing a buffer against stress and isolation.

Stronger Community Bonds Being socially adept encourages collaboration and community involvement, enriching our sense of belonging and purpose.

Key Social Skills to Cultivate

Communication Effective communication involves clarity, tone, and appropriate body language. Practice expressing your thoughts concisely while being mindful of how your words might be received.

Active Listening Show genuine interest in what others are saying. Avoid interrupting, maintain eye contact, and ask clarifying questions to demonstrate understanding.

Empathy Understand and share the feelings of others. Empathy builds trust and creates deeper, more meaningful connections.

Conflict Resolution Disagreements are inevitable, but how you handle them matters. Focus on solutions rather than blame, and strive for mutual understanding.

Adaptability Social interactions vary depending on context. Being flexible and responsive to different situations enhances your ability to connect with diverse groups.

Non-Verbal Communication Body language, facial expressions, and gestures play a significant role in conveying emotions and intentions. Pay attention to these cues to complement your verbal communication.

How to Develop Social Skills

Practice Mindful Observation Observe social interactions around you to learn effective communication strategies. Notice how others respond to various behaviors and adapt accordingly.

Engage in Conversations Start small by initiating conversations in low-pressure environments. Gradually challenge yourself with more complex interactions.

Seek Feedback Ask trusted friends or mentors for feedback on your social interactions. Constructive criticism helps identify areas for improvement.

Join Social Groups or Activities Participating in clubs, volunteer work, or classes provides opportunities to meet people and practice your skills.

Develop Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence—understanding your own emotions and those of others—is a cornerstone of effective social interaction. Reflect on your feelings and learn to manage them constructively.

Learn from Setbacks Not every interaction will go perfectly, and that’s okay. Treat missteps as learning opportunities to refine your approach.

The Role of Technology in Social Skills

In the digital age, technology has transformed how we interact. While online communication offers convenience, it can sometimes hinder the development of face-to-face social skills. Strive for a balance by practicing in-person interactions alongside virtual ones.

[diya00000000]

Top Tips for Receiving and Providing Interview Feedback Effectively

In today’s competitive job market, interview feedback plays a vital role in refining hiring strategies and improving candidate performance. Both employers and job seekers can benefit immensely from understanding the process of receiving and providing constructive feedback to make the interview process more impactful.

What is interview feedback?

Interview feedback refers to the detailed observations and evaluations shared after an interview. It can be from the recruiter to the candidate or vice versa, offering insights into performance and areas for growth. Effective feedback communication bridges gaps and ensures mutual improvement.

Tips for Providing Feedback

1. Be Specific and Honest

Vague statements like “You did okay” aren’t helpful. Instead, use specific examples such as, "Your technical skills are strong, but focusing on time management could help improve your performance.” This approach ensures feedback is actionable and clear.

2. Use a Positive Tone

Starting with a compliment before offering suggestions makes feedback more constructive. For example: “You presented your ideas confidently; however, refining your team collaboration could enhance your overall impact.”

3. Provide Actionable Insights

Feedback should guide the recipient on steps to improve. For instance: “To strengthen your presentation skills, consider practicing with mock interviews.” Always focus on what can be changed or developed.

4. Deliver Feedback Timely

Providing feedback within a week of the interview keeps it relevant and actionable. Delayed feedback might lose its impact and fail to engage the candidate. Timely communication reflects professionalism.

Tips for Receiving Feedback

1. Stay Open-Minded

Approach feedback as an opportunity to grow. Even critical comments can help if received with an open attitude. Avoid defensiveness and focus on how to apply the suggestions effectively.

2. Ask for Specifics

When feedback is too general, request more detail. For example, "Could you clarify how I can improve my problem-solving approach in high-pressure scenarios?” This shows willingness to learn and grow.

3. Apply the Feedback

Take measurable steps to improve based on the feedback. For instance, if told to work on technical expertise, enroll in a course or practice skills through mock projects. Implementation is key to turning feedback into growth.

4. Express Gratitude

Always thank the person providing feedback, whether positive or critical. Gratitude reflects professionalism and ensures a positive impression for future opportunities.

Benefits of Effective Feedback in Recruitment

For Employers:

Enhances candidate evaluation and hiring accuracy.

Improves decision-making based on measurable feedback.

For Candidates:

Identifies key strengths and improvement areas.

Prepares them for future interviews with better clarity.

Conclusion

Interview feedback is a critical part of the recruitment process, helping both employers and candidates grow. By providing honest, timely, and actionable feedback, employers can refine their hiring strategies. On the other hand, candidates who embrace feedback with an open mind can develop essential skills and enhance their career prospects.

Effective feedback isn’t just about pointing out mistakes; it’s about fostering improvement and building a stronger professional foundation for everyone involved.