#work is terrible and i'm working through some rl stuff

[blackidyll]

@qserasera i'm sorry for how insanely long it's taken me to properly comment on and express my love for this fanmix, but as promised, writing up some of my thoughts and feelings on your excellent choices. i hope you enjoy this because i love this mix so so so much

first though i have to say i love that this is both based on jingheng's canon relationship, and that it spans their backstory and their relationship progression after the ambrosial arbor crisis. i just love all aspects of their relationship so much and this mix feels so complete with how it explores their rather complicated and long history with each other; seeing that reflected in your song choices has been really fun and also insightful <3

also thanks for introducing me to a new fancy word i had to look up what analemma means

(read more because you know how wordy i am)

死生不怨 is such an amazing start for this mix (as an aside i love how many chinese songs you have in this mix because absolutely yes all the luofu vibes). the melody, the lyrics; this song actually gives me strong -dan feng in the shackling prison- vibes, which actually feels rather appropriate because dan heng's beginning is with dan feng's end. can't quite decide if this song's from df or jy's pov, tbh (that one lines about -who lights a lantern for whom- really catches me all the time when i listen to this song) but either way the wistfulness and regret is strong with this one

the vocalists for Never to Return is so good? that ethereal echo-y quality of the voices. that high note -repent- is soooo chilling. this song is definitely the preceptors attempting to brainwash dan heng when he was still trapped in the shackling prison for me, but also the -never to return-s call to mind his banishment.

the vibes for 阴 is.. wow. i mean other than the super appropriateness of a song called yin. this song really reminds me of the vocals of all the three battle HSR songs when fighting Phantylia. coupled with The Light. Pt. II... just makes me think of jy finally succeeding with commuting dh's sentence into banishment and setting dh free in the same move.

ngl Unstoppable caught me offguard hahahaha i was not expecting techno chinese rap but i kind of love it? because HSR is like space tech scifi fantasy and once we get off the luofu? heck yeah we're getting chinese techno rap. i really like the contrast with 萧綦进城, because of course jy is still back on the luofu.

oh man Lost Times. her voice is just haunting. -you did what everyone told you to do. now what? there's got to be more- and -how long can you go before you make a change-. this song and 云之泣 give me similar jy vibes, but i'm screaming more about 云之泣 because "weeping of the clouds"?????? "within the moonlight, too many worries, and too little dreams"??? yelling screaming throwing up idk how you keep finding songs that are just so spot on.

i've already yelled at you at the 我爱的这个世界 -> The Lion's Heart -> Rough Seas transition, but now i get to yell about it more. you said that you imagined 我爱的这个世界 as dh's transformation back into his imbibitor lunae form which i absolutely agree with, but also this is such a romantic song? definitely encapsulates all my feelings during jy and dh's interactions during 1.2. and then The Lion's Heart? 100% jy during the battle with phantylia. also the music at 1.22 onwards kept tickling my brain and i kept trying to think of what it reminded me of, and i finally got it: the build up is very similar to I Am The Doctor, Eleven's theme from Doctor Who. which yeah, i can absolutely see the parallels between the way jy operates as general and the way the doctor usually handles universe ending crises.

i love Rough Seas so much omg. i could listen this song on repeat for days, on it's own it's such a great song but in a jy/dh context i just really like that this is them finally coming together after all the heart break and nostalgia and wistfulness because on their own they can survive but together they're so much stronger and they'll thrive.

Eye of the Storm, Mahogany and 云之羽 are definitely them working through their history and it's tough and there's so much history to reconcile and there's still the aftermath of the crisis to work through.. but there's an element of hope there. i really like these -in between- songs a lot. but goodness, the amount of pining in 云之羽 though ahhhhhh

we're back with the space jams with 爱情把戏 and Heavy and hehe this makes me think of dh going back to trailblazing again, but then we have jy occasionally visiting him on the express and them just finding themselves on firmer feet around each other. and like they're definitely feeling a connection to each other but like, neither of them are actually going to put it to words so they're just circling each other and everyone else is just watching them and making bets on when one of them is actually gonna say something aloud and eventually someone's going to snap (march probably, where's a closet when you need to shove in a couple who won't admit they're a couple) but in the meantime the UST is strong lmao

i internally screamed with Hopeless Romantic because it's such such such a jy song omggggggg. the quiet pining forever. the first time i was listening through this song i was actually saying my replies outloud to the lyrics like it was jy actually singing it ("i know i fell in love again" me: awww "but maybe it's just a phase" me: NO IT'S NOT "you might be gone someday" me: NO HE WON'T "but here's hoping that you'll stay" me: THEN ASK HIM TO STAY)... ya.. a very jy song...

Altar yooo 👀 the religious imagery. "I'm running up to the altar, drink from the water 'Til you show me some love, I am waiting". there are so many directions this can go

永安 is so beautiful... the lyrics.. but why are you two still pining omg this is a very them song.. the whole -i'm willing to endure/sacrifice/do everything so you're safe/happy/smiling-... it's very jy with his whole "dh is like a fish returned to sea, it's enough for me to watch him from the shore" but i also believe dh 100% feels the same... could you two.. not ahhhhh

i do love that you ended this mix with Moonlight Sunrise because it's such an upbeat song i like to imagine that they FINALLY stop pining like maybe march succeeded in shoving them into a closet and they finally figured out that they do love each other and want to be together and now they can go dating at aurum alley and it's sweet and kind of awkward but they're both incandescently happy about it (also i see what you did with "i'm your moonlight you're my sunrise" because that's themmmmm)

all in all i love this mix so much, you captured so many flavours of their relationship and i am here for every moment of it. thank you so much for this ahhhhhhhh 💚🧡💚🧡💚🧡

analemma; a dan heng x jing yuan fanmix

the stars move, and your eyes follow; distance, separation, reunion, longing

a gift fanmix for @blackidyll

Songs 1-12 approximately follow Honkai Star Rail canon backstory and later events; songs 13-20 are for relationship progression

{{LISTEN ON SPOTIFY}}

Song List below

{01 死生不怨 - 慕寒 | 02 Never to Return (ft Ashley Barrett) - Pyre OST | 03 阴- The Long Ballad OST | 04 The Light, Pt. II - Roc Chen | 05 Unstoppable -十七草 | 06 萧綦进城 - Monarch Industry/Rebel Princess OST | 07 Lost Times (feat Lambert) - Anna Ternheim, Lambert | 08 青玉案 - 云の泣 | 09 我愛的這個世界 - Till the End of the Moon OST | 10 The Lion's Heart - Audiomachine | 11 Rough Seas - Some Velvet Morning, Paul Jones | 12 Eye of the Storm - Ivy and Gold | 13 Mahogany - aeseaes | 14 云之羽 -Jason Zhang | 15 爱情把戏(BE MY LOVER) - Lambert凌 , 阿达娃 | 16 Heavy - Powers | 17 Hopeless Romantic - Pluto Koi | 18 Altar (Radio Edit) - machineheart | 19 永安 - Yong'An Dream OST | 20 Moonlight Sunrise - TWICE }

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

Yesterday after we talked to N.'s Mom, Nico and I thought about, how to go on? I wanted us to find a new place. Our Baby will need a home and I didn’t want to stay at my parents. I wanted to be alone with N., to start our own lives. We decided to move into his apartment, until we found something new. But Stephanie was still there. I didn’t see why Stephanie was allowed to stay at his place? So we went to N.’s apartment, to talk to her.

A few weeks ago, when I was back with Daniel, Stephanie asked Nico for help. She had some probs with her family and needed a temporary home. Nico agreed that she moves in with him, as long as he was abroad. But now it was time for Stephanie to leave!

As I had guessed, Stephanie’s desperate cry for help 7 weeks ago, was something other, than just an argument with her family. She wanted N. back and hoped she could stay with him.... Nico first talked to her alone while I stayed out of their conversation. But Stephanie saw me in the hallway. She knew I was watching them, so she tried to kiss N., to unsettle me. I was totally annoyed and went over to the two to argue with her.

Nico (to S.): C'mon Steph, you’ve had 7 weeks to fix that issue with your family. This is my place and I want her to move in with me. You got to go!

Stephanie: I don’t wanna leave you.

Me: I’m pregnant! We have a baby! What do you want with him anyway? I mean, can’t you live your own life? You wanna stay here with him and me??

Stephanie: I thought you weren’t together anymore... N. told me!

Nico: Still, this doesn’t mean you and I can be together. I don't want that!!! Thought I made that pretty clear. I just offered you my help because I had to leave anyway.

Stephanie: We could start over. I feel much better. Actually I have been doing really well for a long time. I don’t see him anymore. I know he was never really there. Just my imagination.... It could work this time, N..

Nico: I'm glad you're fine. Honestly. Still, you have to go!

Stephanie: You think I’m crazy, don’t you?... Everything I told you when you broke up with me, was.... just made up. I’m fine, N.! I don’t see my dead boyfriend & friends anymore. It got better since we met. So maybe this will change your mind?... We could make it, yk?

Nico: No matter what you say now, it won’t change anything for me. I'm sorry.

Me: You are sorry? She threatened to hurt herself, just so you wouldn’t leave her!!!!!! She’s a fucking liar.

Nico: It doesn't matter! It’s been over for months!! I don't want you, Stephanie!!

Stephanie: You don’t believe me. You really think I’m crazy, N.!... But when I told Melanie that you met your ex gf again and wanted to break up with me, she advised me to make you feel guilty. That’s why I acted so stupid, but I’m NOT, crazy, I swear!!

Me: I never bought your fake.... pity pot!! I knew it! 🤨

Nico (to S.): You and my sister are both crazy!! At least now I know you won’t hurt yourself. Anyway, c'mon S.! Get your stuff and out here!

⚠️ CW: sui attempt, car crash ⚠️

Before Stephanie left, she told me what happened to her when she was 17 or 18 years old. I already knew some of it. Nico told me once. Anyway! Her boyfriend and her 3 friends died in a car accident. She was the only one to survive, which has haunted her for years. She imagined she was seeing her dead boyfriend. He wanted her to come to him, so they could be together again. About a year after that car crash, Stephanie tried to take her own life. Fortunately, she was saved a second time. She told Nico about all this when they met at Melanie’s wedding. That’s why he really thought or believed, that Stephanie would hurt herself, when they broke up. She told him she’d go to her dead boyfriend, if Nico really left her. 🤦‍♀️ I’m so sorry for Stephanie!! Especially what she’s been through is terrible!! But that she uses that sad event, to get pity from others, is in my opinion..... really low.... At least she admitted that she was lying. Although... this too, she only did, because she didn’t want Nico to think she was crazy.

Oh, and Ana called me. My sister & my parents were on vacation. They just got home. Ana was wondering where I was and she wanted to talk to me about..... something. Hm, let’s see what Ana wanted from me? 🧐

Previous/Next

[pbandjesse]

Well I wanted to go to work today. I fully planned on it! I was not feeling amazing but I woke up and got dressed and was about to put my shoes on when Alexi texted that it was snowing at camp and we should stay home. Oh. Okay. There were flurries outside which was pretty but I was very confused about this snow day. But I'll take it.

I wasn't entirely sure if we were actually staying home though. The way she phrased it I was not sure if I should be ready to head in later. But I wanted to be ready so I did not fall asleep. At least not for a while.

James has packed me breakfast and lunch and we're downstairs doing their thing. And I was a little unsettled and not feeling amazing. I wasn't exactly sure what to do with myself. So even though I didn't want to go back to sleep I did get in bed. I was very cold.

I would spend the first hour drawing and being cozy. James went to the museum to get a free bagel from the new bagel store that opened today. And would stay for a bit to help them with a weird school group issue. But I'm glad they were able to help and were safe biking in the wet snow outside.

I would wander around the house a bit. I decided we should move some of the boxes in the studio with my knickknacks to the small room for now. But I only got one box up before I got super tired. I am doing better but I am still so weak. And get so winded so quickly. Which is not fun for me at all. It makes me feel terrible. But I did my best.

I would end up falling asleep for a little. James would come back and I would be out. Just dead asleep. And that made me feel a lot better. When I woke up I finally had some work to do. Elizabeth needed me to edit a PDF and Alexi let us know we would be a part of a meeting at 1. Excellent. While I waited for the meeting I had some ice cream and worked on a drawing for Valentine's day. Which I will print tomorrow.

James would go for a bike ride during my meeting. And it was a nice little meeting about volunteering and how we're going to structure the program. I asked if I could do some research about trainings we could have them do to make the program more well rounded. It was nice to see Sarah and Alexi. Poor Sarah was struggling really hard with her connection but we made it through. And I spent the next hour or so researching and working on a few things.

James would take the car to go get some more stuff from the apartment. We are coming up on there only being some stuff left. Which is nice. Still some books to pack but I'm really happy with the progress. I hope next week to fill holes and clean. And then move my fishtanks. We are going to hopefully buy their new table this weekend at IKEA. I'm really looking forward to having furniture.

While James was gone I attempted to hang the curtain rods in our bedroom. Which went semi successfully but I got very very dizzy having my hands over my head. When James got back they helped me finish them and I really appreciated that.

They brought my table for my band saw back and I got that in place in the basement. And we worked to put more stuff away. Sweetp continues to run around on the vents in the basement. I hung a few pictures in the bedroom. James was downstairs making me something for Valentine's Day. So I was sequestered upstairs for a bit. But that was okay.

Eventually I ran out of steam. I felt gross. I tried my theory about turning the sink on to get the shower to work and it worked? Like it's still not hot but it's so much warmer and I was able to actually comfortably wash my hair and didn't feel rushed or anything. It's still not perfect but it's so much better. And it was really nice being clean.

I hung out in bed for a long time after that. James would make us spaghetti for dinner and we sat together in the living room watching a video about RL Stein. James telling me memories about being a kid and borrowing goosebumps from the library. The pasta didn't taste like much, because my sense of taste is all messed up still, but the love was there.

I wanted to sort the rest of the art we have in the ground but I just didn't have the energy. Instead coming upstairs. It is going to be so nice when we have a sofa downstairs but for now, the bed is good enough.

James is having their book club with their friends. Jess is on a first date. And I am thinking about going to sleep early.

Tomorrow is valentine's day! James and me are going to have special pizza at home. But I hope to have a nice day at work first. I love you all. I hope you are feeling good tonight.

[broxklynn]

I posted 350 times in 2021

110 posts created (31%)

240 posts reblogged (69%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.2 posts.

I added 420 tags in 2021

#eldarya - 178 posts

#mcl - 87 posts

#personal - 32 posts

#eldarya leiftan - 21 posts

#eldarya ane - 20 posts

#eldarya a new era - 20 posts

#writing - 18 posts

#eldarya lance - 18 posts

#eldarya nevra - 13 posts

#eldarya erika - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 111 characters

#armin and kentin are amazing but i don't think i would've been able to date them in rl considering my character

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Mmm, Nevra purrs, I want to see it 👀

71 notes • Posted 2021-05-15 20:48:27 GMT

#4

Alright. I kinda feel like there's no interesting love interest in New Era. I just want to say, that it is my opinion and of course, everyone can think the way the want!

So, in The Origins I found every LI interesting. Leiftan (he was my favourite), because of his mysterious personality and this whole trailor-plot later on, his parents, his guardians (I'm not sure if this is how you write it in english, oops) and his motives. My second favourite, Valkyon, also was an amazing character! I loved his opening up to Erika, his family plot, finding out he's a dragon - it was awesome route to play. Next, we have Ezarel, and, my Lord, I can say without hesitation his route was the most fun to play with! His backstory, his honey obsession, his funny nicknames. This find about not like to being touched (which was never explained, thanks a lot, Beemoov) and finally - his jokes. His fantastic teasing and this back-and-forth with Erika. And, we have Nevra. I adored that guy. He was funny, charming and unforgattable. His route was super cool, a bit awkward at times, but in a good way! And his dialogues, it was so funny!

But now? Well. We have Leiftan, Lance, Mathieu and Nevra. And, hm. I'm going to sound really mean, so, yeah. They are not interesting at all, at least for me. Leiftan? He looks way less attractive (sorry, bae, but that's the true - Beemoov made you look terrible), but that's not the main issue. For me, he's still a bit interesting. I'm curious about his backstory (I hope Beemoov will give me that), his relationship with Lance, etc. But, at the same time, he's just, a different character? Maybe only I think so, but I feel like he totally lost his personality, and I understand that he's feeling really guilty about that he's done and he probably going through a lot inside, but, now, I feel like he's so empty? I dunno. Maybe, it's because in The Origins there was this whole trailor/deamon plot, but at the same time, I chose Leiftan to be my LI without knowing he's a traitor - I was interested in him, but now, for some odd reason, it disapeared. Maybe, it's because Beemoov totally forgot about this whole soulmate thing? (what I mean is: in spin off, he tells us how much he waited for "Erika" to come, how much he adored her, ect, ect, and it's just weird that the completely gave up on it) I dunno, he's just, different in New Era. Lance - alright, I totally hate him, but he's the most interesting route, I give you that. He still doesn't make me super intrested, but I am curious about him, his route and stuff (but I'm pretty sure Beemoov will ruin it by rushing things off), so yeah. Mathieu, oh, Lord. I mean, I don't mind him being a human (I know some people do, and that's okay, it's a fantasy game after all), but he's just, for me (remember, this whole post is my opinion!), so boring. Only thing that interests me it this "him being a traitor" headcanon (I re-blog it a few days ago), but it's just a speculation and it would've been a huge rip-off of The Origins, so I dunno. He's kinda boring to me, sorry. Maybe, later on in the story, he'll turn out to be interesting. The last one, Nevra - omg. I totally feel like he lost his charm. I adored Nevra in TO (I loved every single LI in The Origins, tbh) and now, I miss him. He's no longer this flirty, funny vampire. You could say that he "grew up" or "got mature", but that doesn't work for me, I really liked him back then. Really. And, how come he didn't pick up on this whole "movie thing" in episode 4? (When Erika tells him, that the scene was like from the movie), I mean he was the master in flirts and talking to girls, how couldn't he pick up on this? She literally, straight up said r-o-m-a-n-t-i-c. I dunno, maybe I have unrealistic ideas/expectations.

I miss "Ezarel's personality" (I miss Ezarel in general). I miss different body types, different personalities, different backstory. Now, what we have? Flirty, but stupid human, "mature" and a bit awkward vampire, quiet daemon that broke up with us for some reason and hm, hard-to-understand dragon. Nice.

Alright, I feel like this post is really chaotic, haha, sorry.

72 notes • Posted 2021-04-26 07:24:19 GMT

#3

Episode 8 | Eldarya

[♥] Illustrations

[♥] My opinion

82 notes • Posted 2021-10-13 13:37:23 GMT

#2

Facts about Erika

I decided to go and try write down facts that we know about Erika - enjoy!

She's about 22-24 years old.

She likes to cook, just like her father.

She's good at drawing (optional).

She comes from a very populated city.

She's pretty curious and has a firm sense of morality.

It's been said that she's very beautiful.

She's a rather good person, she knows she isn't perfect - but she tries her best.

She likes to take long walks.

She didn't particularly like major she was studying, but she was doing it so she could take over family business.

Her father is a businessman.

Her grandfather died of a heart attack.

She knows Harry Potter.

She doesn't have any siblings.

She knows savoir vivre.

She always did what her father wanted.

She has a brown thumb.

Her father is rather strict.

Her father loves animals.

Her mother is allergic to cats/cat fur.

Her parents adopted a young, stray cat and named it Jelly.

Her grandparents (Lucien/Lucio and Paulette/Paula) live on countryside. She used to visit them a lot when she was a child, but they had a fight with Erika's parents - she hasn't talked to them since then.

She likes action & adventure movies.

She's 1,65 m tall,

She used to date blonde surfer with tattoos. A lot of players think that he might be Dake (from My Candy Love).

On Earth, she was friends with Alice, Ben, Elsa and her new neighbour Arthur.

She used to watch a lot of survival programs on television - her uncle forced her to do it.

She knows how to read constellations.

Before entering Eldarya, she has never been in love.

Her uncle loves sports.

She hates being lied to.

She doesn't like/approve killing people.

She's a quick learner.

She's similiar to one of her great-grandmas.

She has blood group type 0-, it's a universal blood donor type.

She smells like liliac and lavender.

If you know know some other facts about Erika - write them in the commets, I will add them and tag you! If there are any mistakes or misspellings - let me know!

165 notes • Posted 2021-06-29 18:37:45 GMT

#1

Episode 5 | Eldarya

[♥] Illustrations

[♥] My opinion

Well, I have to say my favourite illu is with Lance. It’s just so beautiful and somewhat emotional, from the other hand, I really liked Mathieu’s one too, it was just so funny. But it doesn’t change anything, I’m still not a fan of these two. Erika’s still a dumbass and being  profligate (my poor maana), but at least this time she defented the team. Nevra literally fought with Leiftan, which is so annoying, like, isn’t he 32 years old? Can’t he act like a adult? He forgave Lance (who killed his bestie) and got over Erika, but still can’t get past Leiftan’s mistakes? Man, grow up. Leiftan’s just being Leiftan, what can I say? And Lance, well, his emotional dialogues didn’t really affect me. I don’t really care how sorry he is, he still killed Valkyon. Honestly, if he didn’t kill him (and wasn’t so agressive in episode 26) I would forgave him and probably grow to like him, in the end, I did forgive Leiftan. Next thing, Erika thought that she wouldn’t be suprised if Miiko’s feelings for Lance were mutual, and actually, in my server/in the languange that I played it was never said that Lance didn’t like her back. It was said, that she never got the courage to told him the truth. Anyway, the king - Tenjin - Koori’s ex is an asshole. I’m kind of suprised that Koori didn’t see through him before, like, I get she loved him and he manipulated her, but c’mon, you’re telling me that she was totally oblivious when it comes to him? Again, Tenjin said something like how ridiculous it is, that Nevra is Lance’s boss when dragons are way more powerful - which give me clear message that he sees people for their power/status, not who their are. It is interesting and I’m curious if he’s going to be a villian with no backstory or he will have his reasons? Oh, and this episode didn’t help me to like Koori, I still feel a bit disgusted after episode, but whatever. I also don’t enjoy this Mathieu-Koori thing? It’s odd and annoying. I almost feel like Beemoov wanted to make us feel that he’s so unique and special that every feary wants to date him, but, um, no. He’s just a human. Literally. The last (for now, I think I told everything I wanted, but if not, I will just edit the post), Tenjin said about Huang Hua being exile - which would make totally sense to me! Remeber how Erika asked her about her being a Pheonix and she didn’t wanted to answer that? I feel like she chose to be H.G’s new boss (I’m not going to call her a leader, forget it) instead of being a Pheonix, so she refused her duties. That’s why fenghuangs banished her. 

214 notes • Posted 2021-06-16 13:30:04 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[him-e]

Hi Claudia! Long time no e-see! I haven't being around Tumblr proper for months due to RL & health. You are one of my fav blogs here, so I have being seeing some posts circulating about Tumblr been deleted? I'm confused & worried, is this something to panic about it? is there strong suspicion it might happen? I ask bec I have a great collection of posts & fav edits in here and I'm gutted to think that all the energy spent in reblogging & posting will be wasted! tbc

cont. The absolute worse part is that I might also lose contact with many lovely people here (you being one of them) ! 😭 In spite of Tumblr's bugs, it has been a very helpful platform to meet many great & talented artists/gifmakers/ficwriters/metawriters, and generally many nice people who have being nice to me & also inspired me to learn to make gifs, write metas & fics. I am just confused and worried about Tumblr been deleted. 😭

Hi Alex! Welcome back to this land of sorrow! I’m sorry to hear you had health issues, I hope you’re feeling better now! 

So what happened is that Tumblr is NOT going to be deleted, but due to some recent incidents with p/ornbots, it decided to ban all n/sfw content (you can read more about it in the updated guidelines or search through my blog for posts explaining it). In short, we will no longer be able to post and reblog images, gifs, art and fanart depicting s/e/xual acts, or even just female n/ipples. Artistic n/udity seems to be a grey area, but Tumblr is currently flagging even stuff that is completely safe for work, so it doesn’t look well. Everyone is afraid of being caught in the crossfire and having their accounts unfairly terminated, including me, and wondering what will become of this site now that a great chunk of shippy (or just fannish or artistic) content will no longer be allowed. Many people are planning to leave. Even if nothing terrible happens, we’re going to have to change the way we interact with this site, and the site itself will change as a result.

Anyway, I seriously hope I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, but just in case, if my blog disappears for whatever reason, you can find me on twitter.