#woke up. saw spider. couldn't go back to sleep. drank water that tasted like hand sanitizer.

[orange-orchard-system]

Not terrified of spiders not especially into them but a secret third thing: the kind of mixed apathy and acceptance of their general existence that can only come from continuously waking up to find spiders in your bed

[butwhyduh]

I'll Be Home for Christmas

Warning: it's long and sad.

Word count: 2150

Summary: basically what would happen if Tony Stark died instead of Peter Parker at the end of infinity war. Basically my one chance to write a space odyssey. For @naturallytom challenge. Part 1 of 2.

Peter sat in the cold chair overlooking space. Colors he couldn't describe flew by and he felt so lost. Nebula knew where they were. She could get them home. She got them to a inhabited galaxy and they were rescued by a people Peter couldn't even name. But the price of going to safety only days before they would have died was going farther from earth. Farther from his life. And no one to know he was alive.

"Kid, eat," Nebula said handing him a fruit. Peter nodded before taking a bite. He ate but had no hunger. Nebula assured him that it was from almost starving but Peter thought it was probably because he watched his mentor die in front of him.

"How long do you think it'll take to get to earth?" Peter asked.

"About a month," Nebula answered as she ate. Her knife sliced the fruit in her hand before eating.

"So Christmas," Peter said. He'd kept up with the dates. They were saved right around thanksgiving.

"What's Christmas?" Nebula asked. The pair talked about many things on the journey. It wasn't like they could do much else besides listen to Starlord's music.

"It's a holiday. Family gets together and gives each other gifts. There's food and lights. Its-it's nice," Peter said.

"That sounds... nice," Nebula struggled to say something nice. She wasn't used to being around someone as kind as Peter.

"I wish we could decorate in here. Or make some real food," Peter said wistfully. The ship felt colder than before and Peter pulled his boroughed clothing tight.

"Get some sleeps. Its been 22 hours since your last cycle," Nebula said looking at a monitor. Peter nodded and went to the back. He laid on a cot and strapped in to sleep. It wasn't long before he drifted off.

Nebula stared out. The people had been decimated by Thanos. His snap had killed half of them. She knew Peter was only holding on to get back to his aunt. What if she was dead? Would he lose his mind?

9 hours later Peter woke. Nebula was holding small swords in the middle of the room. Peter sat up quickly.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. I think you need a hobby," she said practice swinging the swords.

"Knives?"

"A useful hobby," Nebula said handing Peter a sword. "These aren't dull. You can cut yourself. So don't."

Peter held it awkwardly. Nebula rolled her eyes.

"Earthlings are so weak. Hold it like this," She said handing him the sword correctly. "Turn your body sideways. Smaller target."

Peter turned and opened his legs hips width apart, mimicking Nebula. She nodded. She put her hand behind her back and Peter copied. Nebula held the sword out with her elbow slight bent. Peter made the same motion to have the sword hit from his hands by Nebula. Peter gasped.

"Hold it tightly. You're strong," she said. Peter picked up the sword and moved back to stance. Nebula hit it again and he held it tightly. She hit him from another side and he barely smacked it away. This went on for a minute.

"Hit me," Nebula said. Peter widely swung the sword and Nebula easily blocked and tapped him with the flat side. The rest of the session consisted of Peter trying to deflect and hit as Nebula easily bounced around him. By the end he was smiling, sweaty, and bruised. It was the first time he'd smiled in a long time. Nebula hid her smile as she took a drink. Peter greedily gulped his water. When they landed on the planet, Peter had drank so much fresh water that he literally threw up, much to his embarrassment. On the ship that only recycled water and towards the end, it was only a cup a day.

"Eat," Nebula said tossing him a bar and a fruit.

"What's that?" Peter said looking the colorful fruit over.

"Food. Eat. It'll make you strong," Nebula said. She viewed his collar bone and wrists being more defined. His high metabolism had made him skinny.

Peter tentatively tried the fruit before devouring it. "It tastes like a fruit roll up! Do you have more?"

"You'll only get 1 a day to make it last," Nebula said. "Watch out. I'm going to sleep. Don't touch anything. Wake up if you see anything."

"Oh-Okay," Peter said moving to the seat.

"I counted the fruit," Nebula said before laying down. Peter snapped his fingers in defeat. She was clever.

Peter watched as he saw nothing. But also He saw everything as they sped along faster than he scientifically understood. Which is a lot to say about a genius. He stared for hours as Nebula slept. Peter's eyes got heavy and he drifted off.

Peter woke to Nebula gripping his shoulder. He jumped up.

"Fell asleep on the job? You didn't do that when you were starving. You can clean the toilet when we next land," Nebula said pushing Peter out of the chair.

"Aw man," Peter said.

"No sleeping next time," she shrugged.

And for the next 5 days they followed this pattern. Peter sleeping, training with the sword, eating, bothering Nebula, and watching out as she slept. Finally Nebula wakes Peter during his sleep time to tell him that they were landing on a safe planet.

Peter wiped the sleep from his eyes and grabbed his iron spider suit. He snapped it on over his clothing. Nebula seemed relaxed but Peter was nervous. Any place could be dangerous. The sky was blue and the visible dirt poking through the dense foliage was pink. When Nebula opened the door, a wave of heat hit Peter and he put his mask on.

"Guard the ship. Turn on the incinerator," Nebula said.

"Really?" Peter protested. "I can't leave?"

"We're here just to buy supplies. Don't do anything until I come back. I'll bring more fruit," she said. Peter groaned before sitting in the pilots chair.

Nebula rolled her eyes as she left. She didn't know why she kept the Stark boy. She could have left him on Titan, or planted him back on the first planet they landed. But she felt she owed him a ride back. She had helped Thanos for years towards his goal. And if she hadn't told Gamora where the soul stone was, Thanos would never know.

She met the people outside her ship. They were primitive small people that barely fit the shape of humanoid. They were purple-ish brown with snouts and arms that closer resembled flippers. Nebula held her communication device close to her face and announced her wish to trade. The people parted and a leader came forward. Nebula began offering what she had for trade and the leader agreed.

On the ship Peter sat with his feet on the console. Nebula never let him. He was also eating some kind of sweet bread. Music played in the background. It was under the name sTarLLord89. Whoever it was, had tons of 80s earth music.

Peter was softly bobbing his head when Nebula ran in with a crate of food. Peter quickly flopped his feet to the floor. "What's going on?"

"Not. A. Peaceful. Planet," she said smashing the buttons to fly the ship away. Peter hopped ftom the seat and sat in his usual chair. Nebula roughly lifted the ship off the ground.

"What happened?" Peter asked after they escaped the planet. The ship survived with only a few scratches from spears thrown at it.

"They were cannibals. That's why you couldn't leave the ship with me. You would have been eaten," Nebula said.

"Eaten?"

"Yeah, kid. Inventory the box," she said.

Peter opened the crate to see a few boxes of the food bars, some fruit, and bread. A bundle of rags sat underneath. Peter pulled them away and shrieked.

"What?? What?" Nebula asked from her seat.

"There a spider?"

"You don't know?"

"It's kinda like a spider. In a cage. It looks like a pet or something," Peter said keeping his distance.

"Wait, Spider-Man is scared of a spider?"

"Maybe. You can look at it yourself," He said pouting. Peter grabbed a fruit and sat down. "I'm not dying from space spiders. I've seen that movie."

"What?"

"It's an earth thing. I'll show you," Peter said watching the box suspiciously. Nebula walked over to the box and laughed. A deep belly laugh of joy. It was jarring to Peter. He had never heard that in the weeks they've known each other.

"It's just," she resolved into laughter. "It's harmless. Come here," Nebula said opening the cage. Peter jumped back as it scurried up her arm.

"What should we name it? I had one as a child. I snuck it aboard a ship, just like this," She said smiling.

"You stole it??" Peter said.

"No, this was luck. I'm not turning around to bring it back. Here, have a pet," Nebula said placing the creature on Peter's shoulder. Peter shrieked.

"Take it back! The fuck! No! No. No," he said as she took it back. "I don't want a mutant spider on me."

"That's just ironic," she said sitting back in her chair. She pet the monster under the chin and Peter shuttered as it purred. "I had one until Thanos found it and killed it. Said it was a waste of air."

"He's just a horrible person," Peter said used to her talks about the horrors that Thanos had done to her.

"And I'm going to rip his throat out," she said roughly before going back to petting the animal. "It's your sleep cycle."

"Don't let that beast go. I don't want it laying eggs in me," Peter said suspiciously.

"I'm going to name it," she announced. Peter laid down to sleep. It took him longer to go to sleep after knowing the little monster onboard.

Peter didn't sleep any better. He often had bad dreams. He had dreams about Mr Stark turning to dust. The way he smiled and told Peter that it would be okay before he dusted.

This dream was the last few days before they were rescued. When they had run out of food and water and the air was going turn off soon. Peter felt the cracks on his lips. His throat painful to swallow. Nebula had gone a few more days without food. She could survive longer hungry with all of her mechanical parts. She was worried about Peter. He was laying around now. His skin thin and body bony. Peter could see the worry on her face.

Her hands ghosted over his face. His core temperature was dropping. He couldn't thermo-regulate any more. His lips cracked. Peter watched her in a haze. Peter couldn't understand why he lasted shorter as super human. He was supposed to be strong.

"Why," he crooked. Nebula moved over to him. "Why am I dying?"

"We have no food, kid. I'm going to get us saved. Okay? We'll be fine. You'll eat till you pop soon enough," she said with a false smile. The past few weeks she'd grown pretty attached to the kid.

"But I'm a superhero," Peter said softly with a weak smile.

"Still a human. I think your metabolism is super too. You have to eat a lot. We ran out a little early," she admitted. She clenched her jaw before releasing another smile.

"Makes sense. Yeah. Sorry about that," Peter said.

"No. Its Thanos fault. He's the bad guy here. Don't forget that," She said. She turned away and went back to the front.

--------------------------------------------

Peter woke up panting. He looked at his hands before relaxing. They survived. He was on the way home. He was okay. Nebula looked over at him before turning back.

"This planet you can get out," she said. Her own way of comforting Peter.

"I can?"

"It should be fairly safe. We'll be there shortly."

Peter hopped up and looked out the window. They were above a large metropolitan. Gleaming sliver and bronze buildings we're buzzing with creatures of all kinds. Peter slipped on the iron spider suit with the mask on.

"Smart. Earthlings would get attention," Nebula said. She was kinda proud of her companion. She had started to regard him as almost like a little brother. Peter waited for Nebula to walk out first. She grabbed her little monster before leaving. Peter was nervous after the last cannibal world. 2 tall elegant light green persons met the pair. They welcomed them to the world. Nebula paid them units and they motioned for a crew to do a tune up on the ship.

"We're going to sleep here tonight," Nebula said smiling. Peter gulped nervously. Was he going to be wearing a mask overnight? That wasn't super great for his skin. Nebula walked away from the landing pad and into the city.

"So you know this city?" Peter said following her.

"Oh yeah. I ran away as a kid and lived in the streets for a few months before I was caught again," Nebula said smiling.

"I don't want to be rude," Peter said ducking around a street cart. "But you need serious therapy."

"A what?" She said stopping before a stall making food. It smelled wonderful.

"Nothing."

Nebula ordered for them both. When the food arrived she was on the move again. Peter looked at the foreign food in front of him as he hurried to catch up. Nebula ate as she walked. Peter followed her lead. The flavor was unique but not a pre-made squished bar. In front of a modest building, Nebula stopped. She pulled out her purse and walked inside. Peter followed as she ordered 2 beds at a hostel. Peter sighed. He was sleeping in a mask.

Nebula laid down in her bed. Peter could see the damn little monster snuggling her. It took him a second to realize that this was her sleep cycle. A few other beds had people sleeping. Peter sat on his bed bored.

"Here, don't get in trouble. And don't get drunk," Nebula told him handing Peter some units. "Stay in the market and don't get lost."

Peter smiled. "I won't."

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