#woke up with wicked anxiety and disagreement

[zappedbyzabka]

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[ts-into-the-coinverse]

Made of Love, Chapter 25

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Table of Contents

Ship(s): Logicality, (platonic) Prinxiety

All Characters: Thomas, Virgil, Roman, Logan, Patton, Dr. Picani, Joan, Talyn, and Deceit

Synopsis: Humans Roman and Virgil get wrapped up in some serious magic business without meaning to. Their other companions aren’t exactly as they seem, either. Together they all must defeat a great threat for the safety of humanity.

Chapter Desc.: It is important to note that the full saying is not "blood is thicker than water", but rather, "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

TW: Cursing, unsympathetic Thomas (until the end, at least)

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Thomas was pissed.

No one could quite pinpoint an exact reason, since there were a possible several, but they could tell how angry he was. He didn’t want to talk. Any attempts at a conversation ended in an argument or at least some form of disagreement. The most intense one ended with him slamming a door in Logan’s face. Needless to say, they were both upset with each other after that. Logan didn't attempt to talk to him again.

So, of course, Patton wasn't very happy. He couldn't get Thomas to apologize and Logan refused to engage in any conversation pertaining to that topic. They were being stubborn with no sign of backing down. And that was annoying to deal with. They were both rather good at standing their ground — no one could get them to budge.

Patton ended up dropping it for the sake of his sanity.

Slowly, Thomas started snapping at everyone a bit less, but the anger was still there. He let people talk to him, though he didn't say much in response. Patton tried to be supportive and empathize with how he felt. Roman tried to find little ways to cheer him up. Virgil let him know that one day it'll be okay again. Logan, well, Logan wasn't allowed to talk to him, it seemed. No one could tell if either of them were upset by that.

One night, with Thomas hiding away in his room, as usual, the others were talking in the living room. No other sounds occurred besides their voices. The TV remained off and no one played music. It was a rather solemn scene. A light in the kitchen was still on, but the lights in the living room stayed off. Instead, a couple of candles had been lit. It wasn’t unnatural to see those pillar candles being put to use in the house, yet it wasn’t common. Lately, their wax started to get lower and lower with all these late-night talks. But on this particular night, the talk didn’t seem to go much of anywhere.

They were at a standstill, in all honesty. They tried as much as they could, but Thomas wasn’t being responsive to their efforts. It was up to him to want to be helped through it. It just didn’t seem as if he wanted to.

Logan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to bed." He didn’t seem to be up for this conversation anymore.

"It's barely nine o'clock," Roman commented as if personally offended.

"While that is correct, I'm afraid that if I’m forced to stay conscious any longer I’m going to stab someone. So, goodnight." He reached over and extinguished the flame of the candle with his fingers.

It was an action that seemed mechanical in nature. Automatic. If he didn’t do it, no one else would remember to blow it out. And that was just an unsafe practice. But instead of pinching out the flame and going about his way, he hissed and jerked his hand back to his chest.

He stared at the wick in silence. "That… burned." He didn't seem so much in pain as he did confused.

Patton immediately became concerned.

"Uh, yeah, fire burns," Roman replied automatically.

Virgil was inclined to agree, but that wasn’t the point. "Not to him, it doesn't.” He pieced it together. "This is the same guy who put his hand on a scalding, hot stove and didn't even flinch."

Logan snapped out of his daze and rushed to open the drawer of the side table the candle rested on. He lit a new match. He hesitated, staring into the flame before pinching it between his fingers. Once again, he pulled back with a hiss. "I-it burned. I, I felt it." He looked up at Patton with wide eyes.

Patton seemed lost on how to respond. “That’s not a good sign, is it?” He took Logan's hand between his own and a soft blue glow emitted from his palms. Healing something that never needed healing before.

By the end of the week, nothing improved much for anyone. It became difficult, all things considering, to remember that Thomas wasn’t the only one going through the grieving process. Patton and Logan admitted that they had a strong suspicion for a few decades, but seeing it confirmed in one of the worst ways possible wasn’t ideal. If Brigida was gone then so was everybody else. That was a lot for anyone to take in.

Like all things, grief was dealt with in different ways. Some less obvious than others, as Virgil found out. Thomas’s way of dealing with it (or lack thereof), needed no further explanation. Patton pretended as if everything was fine. For a day or two, Virgil almost believed him, but he noticed that was wrong. Patton did busy work to deal with it. He cleaned rooms, washed the dishes, tended to house plants that needed no tending. As if maybe doing enough menial tasks will mask all the bad things.

Logan was a lot more difficult to figure out. Nothing major was out of place in his routine. He appeared to act as if everything was normal. Which it wasn't, but Virgil couldn't figure it out. Not until later. It was one of those things that made you shoot up in bed as you’re falling asleep when you figure it out. Well, Virgil did that at least. Except it was on the couch. And also Roman was with him, so almost shouting, “I got it.” led to great tragedy. (That tragedy being Roman falling off the couch and dragging Virgil with him.) But it was true. He got it — he figured it out. Logan didn’t “deal with it” so much as he just took it as fact. Brigida and everyone else was gone because of x, y, and z. That was that. He didn’t want to think about it any deeper. As a result, he turned out to be a little more — for lack of a better term — robotic than usual.

“Go to sleep.” Roman threw a pillow at Virgil’s face.

Despite that, it seemed Virgil was the only one to catch on. Which was a bit unfortunate. A lot of things could have been avoided if they all simply paid attention to one another. A lot of things later that day more specifically.

The morning started as normal as it could have. Roman had to throw another pillow at Virgil for disturbing his sleep with late-night epiphanies. Virgil would have retaliated if he cared enough. But he didn't so he resigned to giving Roman a usual annoyed look. Thus started their routine bickering session until Patton called everyone for breakfast. Well, everyone who would come, anyway. Sometimes Thomas didn't show up. Sometimes it was Logan. Today, however, seemed like it was both. Patton sighed when he noticed and went off to recruit Logan. Logan was always the easiest to convince.

"How long do you think this'll keep going on?" Roman messed around with the food on his plate.

Virgil blew on his tea to cool it down. "Don't know. Someone's going to have to give in eventually, right?"

"More like someone's going to blow up," he mumbled.

Virgil didn't have a comment for that.

Patton walked back into the kitchen with Logan trailing behind him, who looked about ready to keel over; he was a disheveled mess.

"You're looking wonderful this morning, Logan," Roman commented, dripping with sarcasm.

Logan sent him a glare, but it lacked any of its usual bite.

"Oh, don't you start fighting now, too." Patton gave pointed looks to both Roman and Logan. "We don't need any more negative energy in this house." He added as he handed off a mug full of coffee to Logan, "besides, ikos louljet always looks wonderful." He planted a kiss on his cheek.

Logan huffed, but his rosy cheeks showed it wasn't out of annoyance. "Whatever." He took a sip of his steaming coffee, only to nearly spit it out seconds later with wide eyes. He lowered the mug and put a hand to his mouth. "Hot."

Patton cringed a bit. "I'm sorry, I forgot. I should have warned you."

"Looks like you'll have to be drinking hot beverages like the rest of us." Almost as if to emphasize, Virgil blew on the steam coming out of his own mug.

Logan frowned down at his coffee.

An unfortunate circumstance resulting from Anxiety finding Virgil (other than, y'know, everything), was his inability to sleep in until noon. In order to sleep at all, Virgil needed Roman nearby. And Roman hated sleeping in, which meant Virgil didn't get to. He tried once, but without Roman in the same room Anxiety had free range of his dreams — and that wasn't very fun. But since Virgil refused to go to work exhausted, and Roman refused to adjust his sleep schedule, they settled on a compromise: naps. They were for Virgil's benefit of course, but neither of them said a word when Roman decided to join. More often than not, Virgil slept by himself as Roman worked on editing photos. That was fine. Even after a few days it was starting to become normal.

So when Virgil woke up to someone shaking his shoulder, he didn't even flinch. He was a little annoyed, though. "What?"

"Don't you think you should be getting ready for work?" Roman peered down at him.

Virgil ignored him and pulled the blankets over his head. He noted that they weren't his. His sleepy brain had to remind him that they were in Roman's room at the moment. "Five more minutes."

"You've been asleep for nearly four hours."

"Did I stutter?" Virgil lowered the blankets enough to peek his eyes out.

Roman grabbed the blankets and threw them off, causing a surprised squeak to leave Virgil's throat. "I know how you are. If I let you sleep more, you're not going to have a lot of time to get ready, then you'll start freaking out because you think you'll be late." He put his hands on his hips. "Does that sound about right?"

Virgil glared at him. He didn't have an argument. "Shut up." He pushed himself into a sitting position with great regret. Staying in bed would have been a lot better.

Before Roman could make some form of snide remark, they heard raised voices coming from the living room. They shared a glance before deciding to go investigate. Logan and Thomas were having a heated argument. From the sound of it, it seemed to be about Brigida. Again. It wouldn't be the first time, but this instance sounded a lot more angry than previous times. Patton kept trying to speak up but neither of them would let him get a word in. He didn’t seem annoyed or upset by that, but it did seem to increase his concern. He wasn’t getting a chance to defuse the situation.

"Just quit pretending that you understand," Thomas snapped.

"I'm being serious." Logan's voice remained level despite the intense situation.

"Right. Because that's all you ever are."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you don't care."

“You know I cared about her. You know I care about you.”

“How am I supposed to tell?” Thomas glared at him. “You act like you never feel anything. You’re just some — some emotionless monster.”

Logan’s expression fell away. He became blank and not even Virgil could see through it this time. The only indication that he hadn’t shut down was the way his jaw clenched. “Fine.” His voice was empty of any emotion. “If that’s how you see me then I won’t stop you.” He stood and walked toward the front door, swift and quick movements lacking his usual character.

“Logan?” Patton called in a small voice. “Where are you going?”

“I need a minute.” Then the door slammed closed.

Patton winced. An intense worry created his features, but he managed to bring it down to a mild concern. “Thomas." He tightly clasped his hands together.

“What?” Thomas didn’t show an inch of regret. “I don't know what you expected. My mom tried to kill me the other day, I just found out my whole family's dead, and you think I won't react to Logan not giving a damn about it?"

"That's not true." Patton frowned deeply. "He cares so much. If you would just —"

"If he cares that much, why won't he just show it? Why paint me to be the unreasonable one? Like I'm overreacting for some reason?"

"Well, right now I'd say that you are." Patton managed to frown further. "Just because you're upset doesn't mean you get to take it out on everyone else."

That got Thomas to stop a bit. He seemed willing to agree, but he readied into his former resolve. He huffed and crossed his arms, glaring at something off in the corner — looking the most teenager-y he’s ever had since they’ve all met. To top it all off, he grumbled, “At least I actually show I’m upset.”

Then Roman and Virgil felt a rather strong and intimate… something… stab into their cores. It might have had to do with the restrained, almost-glare Patton was giving. Roman glanced at Virgil before trying to step in.

“Thomas, buddy, maybe we should stop before we say any more things that we don’t mean.”

“Why would you think I didn’t mean any of that?” The feeling became sharper. “I stand by what I said. It's not like no one here has thought it before — I'm just the only one that's gotten to say it out loud. Logan is a —"

"Don't," Patton's voice cut him off, sharp and taught. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Thomas Sanders."

Thomas was taken aback for a moment, the abrupt dad voice catching him by surprise, before regaining his angsty scowl. "Why not?"

��It’s not true. You know it isn’t.”

“Clearly, I don’t. Nothing in the past few days has proven otherwise.”

“The past few days?" Patton stared at him in disbelief. "We’ve been with you your whole life. You’re going to let the past few days change all of that? One argument?”

“Sometimes that’s all it takes.”

Patton sighed. He slipped off his glasses and placed his hand over his eyes. "Thomas, you shouldn't sound so resolute when you're upset. You've already said things you can't take back —"

"Why would I want to take it back?"

Patton lowered his hand, his blue eyes blazing. "You don't mean it."

Thomas held his gaze. "You can't tell me what I do and do not mean."

"So you mean all of that, then? Every word you said?" He leaned forward. "When Logan comes back in, are you going to say that to his face?"

"Why should it matter to him? He doesn't feel."

"He does." Once again, Virgil and Roman felt another stab, though this time with a different emotion. This one was more tangible. A wave of brittle anger born of desperation. "Just because he doesn't show it, doesn't mean they don't exist."

"Could've fooled me."

Virgil noticed Roman instinctively step back at the rush of anger they both felt.

"Have you forgotten everything he's ever done for you? Would he have done any of that if he didn't care?"

Thomas hesitated, seeming to go over the years of his life where Logan had been there for him. "W-well what does that matter? That could have changed. Why are you so adamant about fighting me on this?"

"Because it's my fault!"

Thomas stared at him with wide eyes.

Patton reciprocated the action. Virgil and Roman felt hot shame creep up from their chests before it cut off completely. He avoided their gazes, his glowing eyes making it more obvious he did so. "It's… it's my fault he's like that." Without even needing to be questioned, he explained further. "Thomas, you sorta know the story already." He fiddled with his glasses. "We were just kids. He, he was so scared of himself and his magic, I-I only did what I thought would be right. I told him to hide it all away. If, if he couldn't feel anything then his magic wouldn't react to it. How would I know any better? I was just a kid — I was taught the same thing. I just knew I had to help him. If I didn't, who else would? He needed it under control before something bad happened. I-it was the quickest solution. I never would have guessed it’d be so permanent.

"If, if I knew that I never would have taught him how to do it. S-so if you're going to be mad at someone, be mad at me." He slipped his glasses back on. The glow in his eyes died and they returned to their normal amber color. "He doesn't need any more reasons to be called a monster. Especially not from you." He stood up and walked to the kitchen.

Thomas stayed frozen in his armchair.

Roman and Virgil shared a silent conversation. Looks like Virgil wouldn't be getting to work today.  Roman followed Patton to the kitchen while Virgil took a seat at the couch.

Thomas looked guiltier and guiltier by the second.

"Having some second thoughts?" Virgil raised a brow. He didn't mean to be all that cheeky about it, but he had to admit that Thomas was being rather inconsiderate.

"Patton was right."

"About what?"

"Logan… Logan's been labeled a monster his whole life. He… and I���" He groaned and put his face in his hands. "Why did I say that to him?" He slid his hands up through his hair.

"You were upset," Virgil countered, purposefully defending a horrible justification.

"That's not —" He stopped himself, voice becoming quieter and dripping with guilt — "that's not an excuse."

And there it was. "Maybe apologize to him when he gets back inside?"

He grimaced and brought his legs up to the seat with him. "He'll probably just brush it off and act like it was his fault."

"Oh, so that's a family thing, then?"

He gave Virgil a 'shut-up-don't-go-there' look, but it switched into something else. A thoughtful, far-off expression. "Family…" He sighed and placed his head on his knees. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?" He let out a bitter puff of laughter. "This is the second time I've failed to see my family in front of me this whole time, and it somehow ended even worse. You think I would have learned the first time."

This was new. "What do you mean?"

"I may have, a long time ago, also called Picani a monster." Another wave of remorse pulled him under. "It was a rather similar situation, actually. But I didn't really regret it until I saw him cry. I-I found him crying after. I don't even think he knows I saw, but I did, and I felt like such a jerk. And… I can't believe I let myself do it again."

Virgil frowned, trying to come up with the best way to get his words out. “Well, kid, you have to remember that just because you’re upset, you don't get a free pass to say anything you want. In fact, it might even make you feel worse.”

Thomas kept his gaze on the ground. “One day I’ll get it.”

They spent a long time waiting for Logan.

In that time, Thomas apologized profusely to Patton for being a huge dumb jerk and admitted he didn’t mean anything he said. Patton accepted, of course, but made sure to give him some light scolding. There was someone else who needed that apology more.

Eventually, Patton stood up and started pacing by the kitchen, having found the minutes to be longer than they should be. He exuded a specific type of anxious energy that caused everyone in the room to be uneasy. Of course, Virgil and Roman felt it the most compared to Thomas. No one wanted to disturb him, however. They had a feeling it would only be helped once Logan stepped back inside, so they let him deal with it his own way.

Then there was a knock at the door.

Curious. Logan didn't lock the door when he went out, did he? Virgil, who happened to be closest to the door at that second, walked over to open it.

He peeked out, faintly aware of Patton stepping up behind him. "Logan?" He opened the door a bit wider to see better. Sure enough, it was Logan. "Did you really need to knock?" Or at least it appeared to be. He had on the same clothes and had that same messy hair, but he seemed different. The way he stood was… off. Maybe that was just Virgil's imagination.

"I needed to see if I was welcomed back inside."

Okay. Whatever — sure. That made sense, probably. He went to open up the door further.

“Wait.” Patton stuck his arm out to stop him. He stared hard at Logan, examining every inch, before speaking. "Ikos louljet.”

Logan quirked a brow but otherwise did nothing.

Patton pulled Virgil back and slammed the door closed. “That’s not Logan,” he said in a panic.

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