#woah 500ish words after 2 weeks of not writing???

[tallbluelady]

Steer

After giving Urianger a kiss goodnight and watching him teleport back to Mor Dhona, Rowan hesitated at the gate of her newly reclaimed home. Mama was staying the night and there was only one conversation they could possibly have.

"He really is quite handsome, isn't he?" Mama started.

"I tend to think so," Rowan said, gathering dishes and placing them in the sink.

"And his voice! Thank you for steering the conversation back from the realm of aetherial but I almost wouldn't have minded just listening to him ramble!"

"Urianger's fairly coherent if you pay attention. He enjoyed teaching Ryne during his time on the First." 

"Who?" Mama tilted her head as she came to the sink to help clean up.

"A young woman, about the Leveilleur twins' age." Has she met Alphinaud and Alisaie? "They're all, uh, sixteen or seventeen summers, I believe."

Mama nodded and handed Rowan a tea cup to dry off. They had cleaned their cups from their tea before she asked, "Does he treat you well?"

"Aye." There was more to that question but Rowan wasn't going to reveal anything without further prompting.

"Urianger seems so tender with you. He seems more timid than when I met him to go to Rhalgr's Reach. He wasn't very outgoing then but it's like he... hurt you in some way and is trying to make up for it."

"It was for a good - he doesn't - he doesn't want to hurt me anymore." Rowan grimaced. That was not the right thing to say.

"What did he do to you, darling?" Mama's voice got icy. "I'll either have it from you or rend it from him."

Rowan sighed and pulled her mother towards the couch. "Urianger has it in his head that he has to do things alone. Instead of asking for help or... criticism on his plans he hides them. It would have been fine if he told me what would have happened. I would have agreed with the actions, but he kept the details from me to - to shield me of all things."

"He kept secrets to keep you safe? Did it even work?"

She shook her head. "Nay. Not in the end. We all made it out alive but even if he was forthright with only Y'shtola it may have been better. But the Exarch asked Urianger to keep it all a secret from us so... he did."

"If he was asked to keep that secret, then Urianger was only the accomplice. Which does not absolve him of the guilt he should feel for hurting you."

"I daresay it may haunt him to the grave. But despite all that, I want to be with him. I've never felt more safe than when I'm in his arms, or actually understood for once."

"I only fear that he'll lie to you again, darling."

"Everyone lies, Mama. And everyone has expectations that I save them. Urianger has at least declared that he regrets doing so, and that he wants to change. He always sought to help me with my burdens. He knows he can't take them from me. But he tries his damndest to make sure I get through the trials I have before me."

Mama's face softened and she sighed. "I suspect that no man would ever be worthy of you, my darling. But a man who strives to be worthy is close."