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Little green mall wizard on a mission.
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I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.
Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.
It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.
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This is my first animation
their name is Wibbly None-the-Wiser
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Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:
- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain
- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck
- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap
- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill
- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard
- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style
Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.
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i will draw the result!!
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Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.
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does everyone like my wizard idea
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i am exactly 3,527 days late with this meme
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Not my white ass locked in the duke’s dungeon again because I fucked his favorite jester 😩
I didn’t know he was so territorial over the silly little guy 🙄
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I Have Found A Solution!
So, obviously classic wizard robes aren’t wheelchair friendly. (Alright, admittedly this isn’t common knowledge and also this definitely isn’t a problem for most but listen, this is a problem for me and I’m pleased to present a solution for it nonetheless.)
The issue is in the sleeves and the length of the robes. The traditional trumpet style allows them to get snagged, dirty, and caught in the wheels.
This is distinctly not an issue with other mobility aids such as canes and crutches, these wizards are fine to carry on with their trumpet sleeves simply rolled up if needed.
Now, one solution might simply to shorten the sleeves and hem to be out of the way, but that looks rather silly so I won’t do that. Instead I propose the more elegant design of a hanging sleeve to maintain that flowy magical feel while allowing for better range of motion.
Honestly I just love the look of hanging sleeves in general and think more people should appreciate them, wheelchair user or not.
In conclusion…
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