#without some kind of Trauma™️

[luvsavos]

Ill give you random numbers 6 and 17

( send me a number/numbers for an oc to hear me talk about >:) )

hell yeah now we're getting into the Canon Divergence That Might Get Me Crucified territory let's fucking gooooo

number 6! that would be my darling dire miralis, whom i shall start off with first

given there's very VERY little canon info on the dire miralis we see in game (of which it Only appears in mh3u, and seems to be vaguely implied to be the only one of its kind as far as we, in-universe, are aware?), i kind of went wild on the backstory because canon is a sandbox and i am a toddler making sandcastles

dire miralis, the only (known) member of his species, was once a crimson fatalis that made his nest in a volcanic region by the sea in some unknown part of the old world, inhabiting the deepest and most inhospitable reaches of the volcanoes themselves. many a hunting party had tried, and failed, to defeat him, and he found their desperation to be quite amusing. note that i don't actually entirely know yet HOW he became a crimson fatalis (for you and all others unfamiliar with monhun; to put it simply a fatalis becomes a crimson fatalis when it's wounded by hunters and gets So Fucking Mad that it just spontaneously evolves<3), but that's not that important of a detail

eventually he was confronted with a particularly determined (or foolish, or Both) group of hunters that had braved the very depths of the volcanoes he called his home, who managed to, by Some miracle, defeat him. in an attempt to ensure that he was in fact truly dead, the hunters carved his heart from his chest and disposed of it far away in the middle of the ocean. what exactly happened to the hunters afterwards is unknown, but miralis himself would wager that if they used his body for materials they likely succumbed to the parasitism of fatalis materials and were transformed into fatalis themselves

given the nature of fatalis, being able to regenerate from so much as a single scale, miralis reformed in the depths of the ocean, taking on traits of his surroundings and essentially mutating into a walking, active volcano; the form that would come to be known as dire miralis. fast forward to mh3u---furious at his own defeat, he wandered the ocean floor as he continued to reform, finally coming to rest in what would later be known as the "tainted sea". to vent out his infathomable rage, miralis took to attacking other islands and landmasses, often completely destroying smaller ones in the process, which was what alerted the guild to his presence in the first place. due to staying in the shallow ocean for so long, his incredibly high ambient body temperature gradually killed all other life within it, staining it an ominous red colour and leaving him as its sole inhabitant---hence why it ended up becoming known as the tainted sea. after sending out researchers (only some of which managed to survive), the guild finally sent out a hunting party to deal with him. despite his initial fury at yet again being laid low by a group of hunters, as he allowed them to think him dead once his energy was fully expended, he found himself curious as he observed them. how, after all, could such fleshy, squishy, tiny beings willingly risk their lives against something wholly unknown? all for the sake of protecting their civilizations? it fascinated him. he allowed them to carve from his body---he scarcely even felt it---and when they finally departed to alert the guild that he had been "slayed", he slipped back into the ocean to find some new place, ideally to satisfy his newfound curiosity about mortalkind. who knew that getting his ass kicked could be so therapeutic huh?

and as for number 17, That would be one of my less-fleshed out ocs, grimclaw<3

grimclaw is pretty straightforward; he's a grimclaw tigrex that inhabits some part of the rotten vale. for being a tigrex, he's not all That aggressive if you stay outta his territory, but if you cross into his territory.........

he's the most defensive of his nest, and seems to have a particular disdain for girros---both of which can be explained fairly simply. in his nest are the remnants of eggs; eggs which the girros made a quick snack of when he was out hunting one day. honestly i'm not sure what happened to his mate and i don't have a "good" excuse for why he would be guarding the eggs rather than his hypothetical mate, but it makes for good reason for him to be so Aggressive beyond just Tigrex Are Like That (which they Are but fhdjfjg). he is my darling and i love him and i feel bad for him but i make my characters suffer Because i like them<3

[sysmedsaresexist]

Changing mindsets, from a Real Anti Endo™️

The Release of the (Pro/Endo) Golden Goose

I hope everyone from all sides will give this important, heartfelt post a read.

It's likely something you'll want to be aware of if you have a vested interest in syscourse and the validity of endogenic systems. Please give this a chance.

It's been almost three years since I started my blogs. Wow. I've been on tumblr a hell of a lot longer, but I really wasn't involved in the system community. I started out firm and loud. I probably inadvertently fakeclaimed (I went into this with the rule that I would NOT directly tell anyone they were faking, it was a boundary that I knew would ruin me socially if I crossed it, but I'm sure I probably did without meaning to), I name called and made fun of people and things. I was disrespectful to people. I invaded tags to get my message out there, though I was quick to stop once I realized I was making the tags unusable for the community I claimed to want to protect.

I learned very quickly what was appropriate and what wasn't, what I could get away with and what I couldn't. It started to become a numbers game, influenced by the risk of the post.

I made a lot of friends and a lot of enemies, and I amassed a following of over 2k. More people have come and gone from my little community than I ever thought possible. People made fanart of me, and I cherish those so deeply. I have over 300 asks because I struggle to delete the ones thanking me.

And the more I was thanked, the nicer I got, the more thanks, the nicer I got, rinse and repeat until I had trouble NOT empathizing with pro/endos. The more I was willing to listen, the more legitimate sources I came across that disproved my original ideas about consciousness. The people sharing the sources were more respectful than I thought they'd be. Things were starting to look a bit cloudy.

I talked to my colleagues about how they, as therapists, would handle some of these endos in their practice, and while their belief in the concept varied, kindness and attempts to understand was the consistent answer. When had I lost that kindness and understanding that had driven me to that field to begin with?

Colleagues, yes. For those who don't know, I have a degree in social services and counselling (plus three other degrees). It's why the current situation with the antis turning on me is so funny. I still can't get into the mindset of some of these new anti endos, I just can't imagine justifying that level of cruelty. I had lines that I wouldn't cross, and I didn't think people could be worse than me.

... That might have been a trauma thing, looking back on it.

So I got desperate.

I spoke to the actual doctors who wrote some of these papers all of us are quoting. Everyone was arguing the meaning of the words, so I went directly to the source.

Dr Colin Ross, who wrote about endogenous multiplicity in the 80s. I told him everything-- about plurals, non-traumagenic systems, syscourse, what was being debated, how I and others interpreted his words, and what I wanted to learn.

Was plurality only trauma based?

And back and forth and back and forth we went, with me asking over and over again in different ways, NEEDING to hear that it was.

But I never got that answer. He meant what he meant. He said what he said and he meant it.

That plurality was not only found in the aftermath of trauma.

And I said nothing to anyone because I couldn't reconcile it.

Don't try to read between the lines, I assure you, there isn't some hidden meaning to be found there. I can't share all of the messages because some contained personal information, but my final response will tell you all you need to know.

(It did NOT, in fact, make sense, and it took me three years to "rethink my paper" that endogenic plurality wasn't possible, I did not win that conversation, it was a dying stance that was not supported)

I've been accused of paying too much attention to my follower count, but I can't really help it. It's really scary when you make a post and see a sizeable drop. It means a lot of different things. My posts have less reach and support. I've upset people. I've done something wrong. My community is leaving me.

I'm in a weird spot, where I'm blocked by so much of the pro/endo community that I have nothing to join, and the anti endo community, who I still wholeheartedly support, continues to leave me for -checks smudged writing on hand- being too nice??

Misinformation about DID is a massive problem, and it's why I still consider myself anti endo and support that community. I relate to them in such a way that I'll always gravitate to and empathize with them.

Or at least, that's what I thought.

At this point, though, how can I not be pro/endo when Colin fucking Ross says it's possible?

I've already written about how I'm really struggling with these labels, and I love the people that have stuck around while I struggle to figure this out.

I hurt when I see the people that once supported me leave.

My (online) world is shrinking. Literally.

That's scary.

When you've watched so many turn away, you start to wonder, with every post, where is the line where the rest are going to leave? Is it this post?

I just want to be me, us, we want to laugh at the stupid crap people say, system or not, I want to talk about my disorder, I want to combat misinformation, I want to have productive, fun conversations about ideas and concepts with people who disagree and have different interpretations. I want to play devil's advocate and get people thinking. I want to be able to comment positivity and kindness on any post I see, I want to feel comfortable talking to more people about their ideas. I sympathize with anti endos, I relate to CDD systems, I still firmly believe that CDDs and plurality are different, unrelated concepts.

My priority will always and forever be the CDD community first and foremost.

However, I am a hypocrite. I have gone straight to the horse's mouth and failed. I've seen so much research that I finally get it. I'm grappling with holding on to this conversation with Dr Ross, wondering what harm I could have prevented if I'd gone public with these emails earlier.

Since when has being open to change been a bad thing?

Since when has showing respect to lived experiences been a bad thing?

What am I? What label describes this?

How do I go forward from here?

What are you going to do with this information?

I promise you, hate isn't the way forward.

[draconicmaw]

I have a hot take

Carl is one of the best male main characters written by a man in contemporary fiction (that I've read).

Because, as much as I love LitRPG as a genre, much of it centers around the male power fantasy, and also a lot of it has a lot of very toxic and problematic views on and characterizations of men, women, elderly people, minorities, people in general. Uh it makes finding truly enjoyable ones where I'm not cringing every 10 minutes very difficult. Guess I'm not the target audience for those, haha.

So, Carl as a main character stands out among his peers in LitRPG, but he also, in my humble opinion, stands out among male characters in general.

Listen, Carl is Just Some Guy™️. He's described as being above average for height and strength, but considering he was in the armed forces, that isn't too strange. But in every way that counts, he's Just Some Guy™️. He's not super special in practically any way (except for his super fucked up childhood trauma which I will not spoil, but I think in a way his trauma is very relatable in that we are all fucked up in our own ways).

While often gruff, Carl is a genuinely kind and compassionate person. But you are never told by any character or by the author that "Carl is a nice dude." You just see it. Over and over.

And, sometimes, "good" guys are written in a really gross way. In a transactional way, which is often how many cishet men view kindness. Something they invest in to get something out. But no. Carl does the right thing because it's the right thing to do.

Like yeah, he's going to try everything he can to ensure the survival of as many crawlers as he can because it's the right thing to do.

And that's not even going into how he treats the NPCs and mobs in the dungeon. They are in as shitty, if not shittier, of a situation as him and his recognition of that when he could just as easily take out his anger and frustration on hapless individuals is so indicative of his true nature.

Is Carl without fault? Definitely not. But he always takes accountability for his actions and wrongdoings and tries to be better, no matter how much the system encourages people to become the worst version of themselves.

Not every main character has to be admirable. An awful main character that you hate can be just as useful in the narrative as a character you look up to. But Carl is just so admirable in his humility and compassion in all of his actions, in his loyalty to those close to him, and his steadfastness in his own ideology and vision of himself.

Idk, I just love him, I guess. 🙃

[atlantis-just-drowned]

hi!! i’m not sure what you’re okay with writing but if you’re comfortable with it could you do pluto x reader nsfw headcanons??

A/N : OMG you are my SAVIOUR Anon!! I've been desperate to share my NSFW headcanons of him but didn't really have an excuse lol- Anyway I hope you'll enjoy these!!

Pluto x gn!reader NSFW headcanons

Please reblog this post to show support! Reblogs are what keep me going!

First things first I'm warning you

Pluto does fall in the 'desperate boys that will fuck if given the chance' category

I can't see it any other way

The Hormones™️ are deadly present but he's painfully a virgin

Like he spent most of his life surviving abuse and sex was definitely not a priority

(not to mention the crippling anxiety)

He barely ever interacted with anyone he found attractive

Let alone have any kind of relationship with them

So, virgin. Absolute virgin.

When you two will start getting more intimate he'll be so damn anxious about it because what if he messes up and you're disappointed?

He copes with it by telling himself he'll compensate the lack of experience by doing literally anything that'd please you

And he'll keep this promise, you can be sure of it

If you don't have any experience either you'll both figure things out together as you go

But if you do have experience he'd prefer you to take the lead

Like, very much prefer

(he a bottom we all know that)

Now on the topic of dos and don'ts

Do not. Put. Anything. Around his neck.

For obvious reasons I believe this would be one of his hard limits

So like no leather, collar, and certainly nO CHOKER

He will get a panic attack if you do

Or if you try to cHoKe hiM holy shit be gentle the traumas?????

More generally I believe he enjoys you being caring and gentle during sex??

He doesn't mind some slightly rough sessions here and there tho

It's a nice change from time to time

But you'll only learn about that after a while

Trust-building first you know?

If you don't believe him when he says he can handle it he's going to get disappointed

I mean he's not made of sugar, you know that right?

He survived way worst than some overstimulation seriously come on

And even if you do something that he doesn't like he can always tell you, he knows you'll respect his boundaries

Other than overstimulation I 100% believe Pluto likes being praised

When I say 100% I mean if he doesn't have a praise kink I'll explode

I mean look at this man please call him a good boy and I swear he'll faint and ascend to outer space

I also believe he likes whatever position where he can grab at you, like

Think about him holding you tight and scratching the skin of your back at a particularly hard move

Or grabbing at your arm or your head to keep himself from crumbling down?

Yes I absolutely believe in that

What can I say this man is touch starved after all

Speaking about that btw

He's incredibly touch-sensitive

Some areas more than others but basically he's just so easy to turn on with just a few light touches and teases

Those get him going more than anything

He's absolutely mortified about it tho

I mean come on why can't he just get a good grip on himself he's overly sensitive seriously???

(but he secretly loves it when you make him lose his mind this way)

He won't ever say it out loud but yeah

You know the truth

Man gets hard and despaired just from being held tight with your hand roaming on his skin under his clothes I'm not even kidding

Also

He's not extremely loud but he definitely makes noises

So brace yourself for a lot of breathless whispers, gasps, groans, moans and whimpers

The moment you'll lay your hands on him he's a mess and his thoughts go straight up from his dick to his mouth without stopping by his brain lmao

I'm thinking, little 'please's, 'thank you's, 'I love you's, your name, etc.

I also think he tends to swear a lot given that he's pretty much the one who swears the most in the Misfits???

Also, based on his experience of the world and everything

I think we can all agree to say Pluto was raised in a society where the ideal of virility was pretty tough and he didn't fit the mold at all

And I think maybe (just maybe) it made him feel very shameful about himself at some point

So like you'll have to help him unlearning shame even (and especially) concerning his sex life

And!!

It's pretty much a fact that he's smaller than average

So I'm a firm believer he has a complex over his size down there because he never got to compare

(don't call it unrealistic I know cis males do weird things and probably have dick contests or something but our boy isn't like that okay)

He, in fact, has a pretty average size for a man his age

He's just damn insecure lmao

You'll have to reassure him that there's nothing wrong or 'not enough' with him quite a few time before he actually believes you

[jewish-vents]

OK this is painful and I’m sorry if it triggers anyone I just need to share it. I’m queer and I’m Jewish. I’m not super super queer like I’m bi and marginal to the community which always felt like it was run by strict lesbian gatekeeping so my point is I learned to easily pass as straight most of the time because it was easier. And I’m not super super Jewish I was raised as a secular skeptic but my family never denied our Jewishness it’s just that we weren’t part of any religious community but I have proudly claimed my identity as a Jew my whole life. And: I used to always feel safe in the queer community. Like it was a safe space. For me, an outsider, a survivor, of many multiple different kinds of trauma, the queer community was safe and welcoming. There were always people who were kind of obsessed with I/P there, but they were a minority and they didn’t attack me or demand loyalty testing , or if they did make a provocation like at a dinner party it was an aberration from the norm and seen as their obsession and no one joined in. For most of my life, I’m talking 40 years, I felt safe in the queer community. And now it’s just completely transformed. I simply know I can’t be Jewish in any queer spaces without encountering rank antisemitism and callous contempt for Jewish suffering. Maybe you could say I’ve departed these spaces and no one has physically pushed me out, but I refuse to prepare my good Jew™️credentials just to go to a fuckin show or some comedy or dinner party and why should I have to tolerate or adapt to constant antisemitism just to be loved and accepted? In fact I was just beginning to feel safe to be publicly more queer and eke out of the internalized homophobia I carry due to my childhood SA but I can’t do that now. No one will welcome me because I didn’t play their trendy game, and my city’s queer community has made it very clear they don’t give a shit about the harm they cause to Jews. There were firebomb attacks and shootings at Jewish schools, antisemitic slogans screamed at protests at synagogues in my city, and these same people are side-by-side with the (literally) inflammatory speech and lies spread, arms linked and posting social media thrillsville fight the power narcissisms to show how pure they are and how filthy Jews are. That’s what happened to my queer community. These are people I was deeply embedded psychologically with, I was chosen family with. My heartbreak is so deep and it’s been months but I still can’t let go . Where did I go wrong? How many families do I get kicked out of for telling the truth? Could I have educated them more before this happened so that I would’ve been able to stay friends with them? And I ask myself, isn’t this what other Jews felt like, throughout history, other marginal Jews who were at the fringes of their identity groups but getting by, and then just got kicked right out and tossed into the big old pile of JEWS WHO DONT MATTER ANYMORE

I'm so sad to see fellow queer Jews having to go through this. Sadly, it's the reality for many of us. I'm so sorry you're going through that. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you for standing up to yourself and setting boundaries and refusing to compromise who you are to please others

[its-monster-mash]

Sinclair Brothers Headcanons - Angst

I’m fresh off of a House of Wax rewatch and I come bearing headcanons

Bo

• Self-Appointed Eldest Brother

• Suffers migraines as a result of the separation surgery, but no one ever considered the side effects Bo may have faced since he wasn’t the twin who was left visibly scarred. This is why he had the meltdowns he did as a kid.

• Taught by his mother that the migraines are a punishment from God for being an awful child.

• Since he grew up being told how awful he was, he has a skewed moral compass because he feels like if he’s Bad no matter what he does he may as well do whatever he wants. In a strange way, he feels good when he does bad things because he feels like he’s doing what’s always been expected of him.

• Fights fights fights. His dad being a “Disgraced Doctor” and his mom going insane(and also having a strange job before that) kids made fun of his family a lot. This, of course, extended to Vincent.

• Beat other kids bloody for picking on Vincent—when he finally got caught, it was the first time he was ever treated like he did something GOOD by his parents; so he learned that being violent was A Good Thing™️ as long as it was to protect the family.

• Didn’t like Vincent going anywhere without him because how could he protect him if he wasn’t there?

• Especially after their parents died and the town started falling apart, Bo felt like it was HIS job to protect his brothers.

• Hurt that Lester doesn’t want to live with them full time; he feels like it’s something personal against him.

• He doesn’t mention Lester when he gives his speeches about ‘The Sinclair Family’ not because he’s got anything against him, but because deep down he knows that someday they’re going to get caught. He knows there’ll be no getting out of it for him and Vincent, but he hopes that the less he implicates Lester the more likely his baby brother is to be spared The Chair.

• Always used to feel like it would be any day that they’d get caught, and he used to want it. Years ago he used to feel like getting caught and having Ambrose make Headlines would be the culmination of their mother’s dream. Now, he’s just tired of it all—it’s a chore—it’s Vincent’s whole life’s work. Bo no longer wants to be caught, he just wants to hold on to what he’s got left.

• Bo is Autistic, but he’s had to do so much masking because nobody cared about his needs. He’s got a lot of rituals he does every day, involving counting all the Wax Sculptures in town, and making sure all the air conditioning is running several times a day for fear that the wax will melt. He thinks he doesn’t have a talent like Vincent does, but he’s actually an incredibly skilled mechanic who can fix just about anything with the barest of supplies. He just never got any praise for it, so it felt like it didn’t count.

• He attends his mother’s Funeral Service every Sunday.

• So much religious trauma. Fervently believes that God is real and he hates him personally for some crime of his birth. This man believes everything his mother ever said. Christian in the “I will fistfight God in the Parking Lot” sense, the “When I die I hope I get the chance to scream at God for being a shitty Father before he sends me to Hell” sense.

• “Why would you make me this way?” Religious Trauma.

Vincent

• “A Pleasure to Have in Class”

• He actually CAN talk, he just doesn’t prefer to because he’s self-conscious about the way he sounds due to his deformity, and also as a result of the childhood trauma of watching Bo be abused—it was safer to be the Quiet Son.

• He’s Autistic, but flew under the radar because most people assume he’s non-verbal due to his deformity. He’s EXTREMELY specific about the kind of material he puts on his body, and he actually prefers the way his clothes feel if they’ve got a film of wax on them.

• Wax is as much a special interest for him as it is a lifeline. His art made his mother “love” him, so he poured his all into it. She made him feel like that was all there was to life for him—now it’s just about all he knows.

• He’s EXTREMELY pretentious about his art and his process—it has to be absolutely PERFECT or he hates it. If he’s interrupted during a bought of creative mania he will sulk for a week. If he’s not good at a new skill IMMEDIATELY he hates it—which is why he cannot cook.

• Very much a “You Wouldn’t Understand” artist. “Nobody gets me.”

• The reason he doesn’t put as much care into HIS mask as he does his sculptures, is because his body heat coupled with the heat from his workshop makes the wax too malleable to hold the fine details well, so he’d just rather not bother. He made a detailed mask based on Bo’s face exactly ONCE, and it pissed him off so badly when he kept losing detail that he destroyed it himself just to have a little peace.

• The detailed mask actually hurt his feelings more than seeing his bare face, because when he first made it it looked “Like he should have”, but it was never perfect because of the way his body heat would soften it.

• Absolutely furious whenever anything happens to his art—doesn’t check as often as Bo does because he once saw a rat crawl out of a hole it chewed in the eye of one of the sculptures, and the resultant smell of the open rot made him vomit on the spot.

• Enjoys killing more than Bo does. He doesn’t really care about hurting people—that part isn’t a thrill for him, but he does prefer strangers to be dead. He’s so used to working with dead bodies that it’s much more peaceful for him if people who AREN’T family just die. Sculpting on a living body is a special Hell reserved for “tourists” who vandalize his art.

• He is well aware of how over-protective Bo is of him. Sometimes it annoys him, but he also knows it’s one of the few ways Bo knows how to show that he cares. Since Bo has always protected him, and survived everything their parents did to him, Vincent sort of sees Bo as indestructible, untouchable, so it’s alarming to see him injured.

• Vincent is genuinely afraid of what would happen if Bo weren’t around—he doesn’t know how to take care of any of the myriad of technical things Bo does, and Vincent knows that without the air conditioning, every creation he’s ever made will melt in the Louisiana heat.

• Vincent is an atheist. He tolerates Bo’s God Talk because he’s aware that God was a weapon used against Bo as a child for being the “Bad Son”. He knows Bo is trying to be comforting when he quotes their mother, so he doesn’t throw it in his face. Can’t believe in a God who would allow them to do the things they do to people. “The only God in Ambrose is Me”.

Lester

• The Forgotten Youngest Child.

• Being the brother who isn’t a twin—having no deformity and lacking Bo’s behavioral issues, Lester was forgotten and neglected a lot as a child—to the point where he’d just go wander off into the woods alone so at least he wouldn’t have to watch his parents ignore him. With the added benefit of not having to hear Bo’s outbursts.

• Really good at building traps, and ate a lot of squirrels when he was growing up, because Trudy and Vincent would sometimes forget to feed him. Really kind of raised himself.

• Came to terms with the abuse and neglect he and his brothers suffered much more fully after their parents passed—he never really felt very attached to his parents, so he didn’t feel the need to carry out Trudy’s dream.

• The most Aware™️ that the killing his family does is wrong, hence his speech about how easy it is to “Get Used To” all kinds of things. It’s just the life Trudy raised them into. He thinks it’s sad that his brothers are still perpetuating her goals, but what can ya do? They’re his brothers.

• He doesn’t spend a lot of time in the Sinclair home—preferring his little place in the woods—because there’s a lot of bad memories in that house and he doesn’t believe in letting himself fester in the past.

• Still visits every couple of weeks when he does his laundry—usually Bo gets takeout when he knows Lester’s coming up so they can have a family meal. Lester actually prefers his own hunted/foraged cooking, but he enjoys getting to actually have some family time with his brothers, so he chokes down what’s usually fast food, because he knows Bo’s trying.

• He doesn’t actually participate in the killings, but he is the one that rigged the animatronics in Ambrose—he’s actually a hell of an engineer, though he’s never been to school for it.

• The animatronic puppies are his favorite, and he modeled them after Jonesy.

• He’s actually pretty well adjusted, all things considered. He’s just happily living his life in the woods—he does wish things were different for his brothers, but he knows they’re in too deep now, so he just looks out for them as best he can.

• He guts the cellphones of his brothers’ victims both to disable any tracking functions and to use the parts for his animatronics.

[rainswept]

i saw a post that talked about how akutagawa was never a violent person before the mafia, that described his violence as trained, not innate but i CAN'T FIND IT ANYMORE

anyway. akutagawa dog symbolism makes me feral. all he knows is to lash out, to strike at whatever is closest, but the instinct always comes from either self-preservation or a desire to protect the people around him. only after dazai becomes his mentor does he begin to be the 'rabid dog' that he is. i wonder sometimes, if he never met dazai, if him and gin got to live a life of safety, would he bite? would he be the what he is now? would there be light in his eyes? would he be happy? is he happy now? does he even remember what it is like to feel at ease, content? what purpose would he even have, if not to kill? after all, what is an attack dog, if it knows not to bite?

hi avery. hold on give me a minute to pick my JAW up off of the FLOOR.

this is EXACTLY what i mean i’m going to cry. UAAGGHHHH. i don’t have much else to add directly onto the topic of akutagawa dog symbolism ™️ because i think you summed it all up perfectly, so i may go on a few tangents, sorry 😭 i could say a lot more on that pure aspect but i don’t want to just repeat what you’re saying so i’ll branch off a little bit

i think he’s a good example of nature vs nurture, to be honest. and it’s a hard topic to speak on, because, “would he bite?”— that’s something you can use for anyone with trauma, any sort of situation of “could it have happened differently?”. no, he probably wouldn’t bite, not if everything worked out perfectly. but it didn’t, so he does. and maybe the violence was trained and not innate, but now it has become so, and that’s the root of the tragedy of it.

he used to have a soft mouth, and now only knows how to draw blood. it’s awful and it’s sickening and it’s sad, but was it not necessary? i think that’s part of why it’s so horrid. it was either his blood shed or theirs, whoever they may be. is it worse to see his kindness killed or him? is it worse to watch him tear (when he never would have if he didn’t need to), or to watch him be torn apart? i don’t know if he knows how to close his mouth without biting down anymore. i don’t think he knows safety. i don’t think he ever has. i think he fears it, because safety means vulnerability, but vulnerability does not mean safety (in fact, to him it means the opposite, and he’s not wrong in feeling that way), and so the cycle will repeat over and over like a dog hopelessly chasing its own tail 💗

(also, when it comes to that hardening being necessary in a way, that’s why i don’t understand why people hate dazai for what he did to akutagawa. no, it wasn’t okay, but they were both kids. it sucked all around. there was no way dazai could have treated akutagawa like he does atsushi. he would be dead. yes, maybe he deserves some sort of. something. now. but is that even worth anything? what would he gain? would it really be as fulfilling as he thinks it would? or would his purpose just suddenly dissolve? his chains may be cut off, but he’ll still be suffocating in a collar, yet now with no hand feeding to make up for it. he will lose all he fought for, which is part of the reason i think dazai has never given it to him.)

on the topic of dazai: some people think akutagawa loves him, some think he hates him, whatever. i think he’s chained to him (like a dog), not because of dazai himself but because of akutagawa’s own expectations (of himself) and what he was forced to latch onto to stay alive. because he is loyal to a fault—not necessarily to dazai, it could be anyone if it worked out that way, but to the promise and cause he devoted himself to. he asked dazai for a reason to live and he gave him one. if he is acknowledged, what then? i don’t think what he thinks he vies for will satisfy that craving. does he like dazai? no, i don’t think so. if he never latched on so hard to the idea of trying to win dazai’s approval being his reason to keep going (see: a dog and its purpose, whatever that may be, guarding, attacking, protecting, killing, loving) — would he even care about him at all?

kind of off topic but i remember seeing something talking about how his ability can be used for so much more, how originally he only ever used it for offense and to use it for defense had to be taught, but that even still he’s holding himself back. he is the flea in a jar that will not jump higher than it could when in it even when set free. he is the dog raised in a shock collar that never leaves the yard even when the fence is off. anyway. i’m normal

[propfortytwo]

okay so very rambling thoughts on undertale yellow and about clover specifically under the readmore, spoilers for all the routes

so theres a few main points about clover that color my perception of them

they repeatedly take/eat things that either arent food or are very dubious food, even by monster standards- martlet at one point comments on them grabbing food at a weird time

at one point the narration mentions that the sight of a cramped room gives them uncomfortable memories

flowey mentions that in all of the resets before the game where he watched clover, without his intervention they ALWAYS stay with toriel, every time.

so like. clover clearly hasnt had a good home life prior to the game.

and i feel like this feeds into this concept of, like. Justice™️ yk. they come down intentionally to find the other fallen children which is already like, painful amounts of self-negation/self-harm, but like this framing of it combined with what they do in a pacifist route gives me this impression that they desperately need to feel like theyre helping yk, and to me it feels like this idea has been distilled into them by their upbringing- a kid that self sacrifices to the degree of climbing mt ebott in the hopes of finding missing children, or to the degree of giving up their life in some endings, obviously does not have a healthy amount of self-worth. no matter which extreme they go for its still framed in this idea of doing something that is Just™️ in their view- BUT they're easily convinced that something is the correct choice, whether thats giving up their own life to benefit monsterkind after seeing whats happened to them as injustice, or whether its going on a rampage to "right the wrong" of the children disappearing and the fact that this initial motivation of theirs to find the children is so quickly defused by being shown genuine love and care from toriel. its only when, in previous timelines, flowey manipulates them into keeping their distance from her that they even leave the ruins and continue this idea of revenge, and even then as we see in the pacifist route they cant help but latch onto people who show them kindness. like the fact that theyre so easily defused puts them on the same level as the rest of the monsters who dont really even WANT to fight you, their only motivation being this generational trauma

like they are fundamentally a child. they have immense power in the form of the yellow justice soul but theyre a KID and so theyre easily pointed in new directions/outlets for that sense of "justice". you could even argue that them staying with toriel is learning to accept that justice is being done to them. and whats especially interesting about this is how their yellow soul powers manifest- like, for instance, the point on the no mercy route where they GAIN LV WITHOUT KILLING, something we've previously never seen. they realize that theyre face to face with someone who was immediately responsible for the death of a fallen child, and THAT causes them to immediately shoot up something like seven levels- because theyre powered by this idea of justice, or at this point closer to blind revenge. they dont have determination, they can only access the power of a human soul when its through this lens of righting a perceived wrong or getting revenge. on a pacifist route they ONLY enter the yellow soul shoot-em-up mode when their friends are blasted with an attack right next to them.

[ohbo-ohno]

Without going into any triggering details I have sexual trauma from both childhood and adulthood, and I completely agree that it's both unproductive and frankly impossible to gatekeep CNC for only traumatized people. Like even if I agreed with it (I don't), there is no way to police what happens in people's brains or in the privacy of their bedroom. I also hate the implication that my trauma Others me from non-traumatized people and gives me some kind of special pass. Life is long and people can and do heal from trauma. If I manage to work through my issues with sex in therapy, where is the threshold? At what point am I no longer allowed to fantasize about CNC? If I stop getting flashbacks do I lost my Trauma Status™️? Lol. Sorry for the long rant but I have so many feelings about this stuff.

soooo real bc it’s like oh? are you the kink police? do you need to know the exact details of someone’s trauma so YOU can decide if they’re allowed to like a certain kink?? and tbh I don’t think the whole “it’s only ok if you’re a victim” crowd of people even actually believe what they’re saying considering how often they shame victims lmao

it wouldn’t bother me so much if I hadn’t literally seen people ask dark fic writers if they’ve been sexually abused, but like… jfc how can you think that’s an appropriate question lmao. “it’s morally ok to romanticize something if you’ve actually been through it” is suuuch a braindead argument

so glad you’ve found a healthy way to work through what happened to you & praying you continue to heal <3

[sysmedsaresexist]

Can you explain endogenic alters forming in a traumagenic system to me?

I'm really confused, but I wanna learn and I've seen you mention it a few times so if it's possible could you explain it? Hope this doesn't come off rude or anything, just trying to understand more

Not rude!

It's not so much that CDD systems have endogenic alters, so much as they can appear to have endogenic alters.

A lot of mixed origin systems are just... Normal DID/OSDD systems, with alters that appear to have come about in common "endogenic" ways.

Once the mechanisms are set in place in childhood, the ability to form alters is always there. It's actually quite uncommon that alters are fully formed in childhood. Many systems only present in adulthood and there are some people that have gone their entire lives never knowing. Before the internet, it was pretty common to only gain system awareness and communication after starting therapy. This specifically happened to me. Had the event that put me in therapy not happened, or I had waited longer to go to therapy, I could probably have been convinced that I only formed in adulthood, if I even realized at all. It took many specific things to be happening in the right order for me to have ended up with a very good trauma therapist at the same time as the first hints of system realization.

All of that to say, realizing you're a system in adulthood is normal, and not necessarily an endogenic only thing.

Alters can take months and years to develop, and even longer to make themselves known, and it's totally possible to form without memories of why you formed. Once the alter is finally aware and you can communicate, it may have been so long since the event that you may never connect the two. As well, alters may form behaviours and habits opposite to what's expected, making it even harder to pinpoint an exact reason. For example, an alter that finally gains full awareness four years after a car crash-- maybe you saw a commercial or heard a news bite or something equally innocuous that plucked at a memory just the right way to wake the alter up, or a fragment you've been watching grow is finally choosing a name and you're so happy to see the spark of joy in it as it tries out options. Would you expect this alter to be afraid of cars? Or would you expect the alter to be completely confident and normal about driving? Now imagine the new alter does the one you didn't pick.

All of that to say that alters can appear to have formed unrelated to any traumatic events or trauma responses.

Believing you've always been a system is also totally a thing DID systems can do. Looking back on my (few) childhood memories now, it's easy (and kind of funny, kind of sad, and kind of nice) to see the hints of some of the alters that are still here today.

If the brain decides there's a need, it will fill that need, consciously or subconsciously. That means that someone with DID/OSDD could likely very easily "create" headmates intentionally, like willowgenic alters (my preferred new term after all the discourse, so much nicer to reference a very pretty tree and free will than racism).

Or even just trick and/or convince yourself that you're doing it intentionally, because sometimes the brain is just dumb and then decides that it's upset with itself after it spat out a new part, so it'll make itself feel better by convincing itself that it chose to create the headmate, because feeling like you have any control over the situation is kind of the Thing™️ in CDD systems.

It's much easier to say that you chose to be a system than it is to give that power to anyone else.

None of these things change the fact that it was childhood trauma that gave you the very mechanism needed to create alters in the first place. You don't need to know your origins to acknowledge you have trauma, and sometimes that's enough, sometimes you don't need to dig for specifics.

Tldr Anyways, yeah, lots of mixed origin stuff is just normal CDD stuff.

[outlawssweetheart]

Lana sounds like a freaking disaster of a person (I love that) 😭😂

Could you spare more info about her ? Or just about the Black family as a whole ? 👀

Like, Skarlet's and Erron's reaction when they learnt they would be parents, how they raised their daughters and did they raise them in Outworld ? Do the sisters get along ? How would Erron react to his little princess joining the BD ? 🤭

Also since you always insist that Skarlet would love Lana Del Rey, did she name her daughter after her after finding out about her or is it just a personal reference?

AHHHHHH, THANK YOU FOR THIS!! I love yapping about my OCs! 🤗

So, I'll start with her name. She is partly named in honor of Lana Del Rey, though not by Skarlet. By me. Sit back because it's a long story.

During the summer of 2021 (my first year as an MK girlie), I started developing an original story to just help myself write; it was supposed to be kinda dumb and was/is basically an MK fanfic, just to get me comfortable writing, but it ended up quickly becoming a legitimate story. So, I made a character who was my idea of a Skarron baby, and since Skarlet's voice actor is Polish, I just made this character's mom Polish. So, I decided to give her a Polish name, and I saw Lana listed. I thought "Lana Del Rey..." But I also thought of a Twitch streamer Viviana who had a GTA character named Lana Valentine, a messy bad bitch. (I watched her a lot back then, but she sadly doesn't stream anymore from what I've seen. 🥺) So, I named her in honor of both Lana Del Rey and Lana Valentine. 💅🏽

Their first child/daughter is named Elizabeth. Erron chose that name. (I Googled common names in the Old West.) He calls her "Lizzie" most of the time.

When they first learned they were expecting, Skarlet was very happy about it. Erron... was less happy, but he dealt with it and tried to be supportive, but supportive isn't his strong suit.

When Lizzie was born, he was afraid to hold her. (That familial trauma of his hit hard.) Skarlet had to practically force him to hold his daughter. Once he did, everything changed. He became a Dad™️.

I like to think they raised the girls in Earthrealm. Give them a chance at a normal-ish life. Though I suppose they'd probably still do some kind of dangerous jobs for income because that's what they know, and it's what they do best. (And Erron would lose his mind without some "thrills" at least every once in a while. ���)

The girls get along well enough. They love each other very much, but Lana is so damn ANNOYING that poor Lizzie can't stand her 47% of the time! 😩

Elizabeth is honestly chill. She's the normal one in the family. She's a social media girlie/wannabe Instagram influencer. She's honestly so boring, and I kind of love that for her.

Erron would literally attempt to murder Kano if Lana joined the Black Dragon. So would Skarlet. I just can't see it working out. And she loves her parents so much that she would just have to find something else to do.

Skarlet & Erron are definitely the weird parents who talk about their past shenanigans in front of the girls' friends, unsettling the poor kids.

If they live in Earthrealm, then they live in Texas! Somewhere like Austin, probably. Erron would only step foot back in Wickett to visit his sister and her family. (She has 2 or 3 kids of her own.)

Skarlet is so overprotective of her girls! Like, overbearingly so. Lana can't stand it, and Erron (free bird that he is) thinks she needs to "let up on" them.

I think that's all I have for now. 🫶🏽

(Lana Black, for those who don't know her, for context.)

[couldntbedamned]

Hello! Since you appear to be a Strange fan, both comics and the movie version, do you think the movie does his arc justice? Not being very famiaair with the comics my issue with the first movie is that pre-character development Stephen is potrayed, instead of charismatic amoral bastard like pre-character development Tony Stark, as merely a run of the mill charmless asshole, so what happens to him feels more cruel than karmic, but you also don't get that invested in seeing him get better.

So, Stephen's backstory in DS1 definitely left something to be desired for me. I know that BC did his absolute best, but not touching on WHY Stephen is so hell-bent on Not Failing Ever and so determined to Be The Very Best Like No One Ever Was™️ was a huge miss on SD & MCU Exec's part.

Stephen's childhood and losing his sister Donna is such a huge part of what informs who he is as a character. He couldn't save his sister from drowning and he's never forgiven himself for that. He has a perfect record in the OR because 1) he IS a talented and gifted surgeon and 2) he's able to purposefully choose cases he KNOWS he can pull off. Every time he saves a patient he's succeeding rather than repeating the worst failure of his life and the thought of not saving a patient terrifies him because he already failed once and he can't bear to to it again.

[Also in 616 Stephen's father was such a massive asshole and Stephen's childhood was Not Great, which also factors in to why he's so driven to succeed. (Also he developed a drinking problem to cope with the pressure.)]

One of the parts that struck me in DS1 is just how uncomfortable he is being thanked by the patient's family after he removes the bullet. Dude saved a guy's life, but he doesn't exactly like the praise from the family; he doesn't think of himself as a hero. He just did his job and he resents the hell out of the other doctor (Dr. West) for not doing his properly (in Stephen's view). Then he's back to being cocky which always struck me as a front.

I will never ever EVER say that Stephen's not arrogant. He IS. I LOVE that about him and I feel like one of the few people in fandom who doesn't have a desire to see him humbled or knocked down a peg or two (usually in the name of making him worthy of whatever love interest is being put forward in fic 🙄). He's arrogant and he has every reason to be: he IS smart, he IS a talented doctor, and he IS a master of the mystic arts. He's earned the right to be.

But that's FAR from the only part of his character. He's also empathetic, incredibly lonely, and desperate for connection even when he's terrible at it. In lots of ways he's a self-fulfilling prophecy because he WANTS to connect with people, he WANTS love but he's also so scared of failing or hurting anyone else that he defaults to Asshole!Stephen because if they leave, then he can't hurt them. He's also, more than once in 616, made decisions for someone's own good without actually consulting that person.

Stephen is, first and foremost, a healer. He WANTS to help people. He ABHORS the taking of a life. And a lot of that clashes once he learns about the mystic art because as we've seen, sometimes there's no other way and it weighs HEAVILY on him, to the point where he feels so guilty about what's happened to Peter in regards to Endgame that he did a spell to MODIFY THE WORLD'S MEMORY. There some desire to play around, sure, but I 100% believe most of it was due to guilt.

I wish his trauma from the Dark Dimension and Infinity War was touched on more, because man has been through the wringer.

The thing about adapting Doctor Strange into a movie is there is a LOT of lore that has to be cut or repurposed to fit within the box MCU has built. SD is a fan and did his best, I know, but things like Stephen's backstory getting cut and removing the scene in Nepal where Stephen tends a dog's paw because "he's not nice enough yet" kind of irk me. I do think, hands down, he has a much better grasp of Stephen as a character than do MW and SR. And BC himself is a huge fan and understands Stephen's character very well and what little backstory/gravitas we got for Stephen in ITMOM (that wasn't built around pining for a woman he parted amicably with and hasn't dated in fucking years 🙄) was because of BC. I wish we'd gotten more.

I'd definitely check out @doctorofmagic and their AMAZING posts. They have such a fabulous understanding of Stephen as a character.

[supernovae-never-burn-alone]

☆ SUPERNOVAE NEVER BURN ALONE

"Why do you fight like there's nobody else in the crossfire?"

I. INTRO (you are here!)

II. CHARACTERS

III. PLOT

IV. FAQ

V. AUs

VI. LINKS

VII. A message from The Thing

Hello and welcome to the official blog for Supernovae Never Burn Alone, one of many OC projects created by yours truly, @human-souls-buy-dopamine!

This will serve as mainly a place to share the lore a bit more coherently, but asks are always welcome for both the author and characters! Expect to see LOTS of art, writing, and the occasional gl2 project— Maybe even some official music as we get into composing! We kind of rambled a lot here, so to make things easier, information that is Very Super Important™️ is gonna be put into bold, purple text.

For the sake of keeping this shorter on your dash than the colors of the sky (/exag.. a little), the rest of the info is below the cut!

In the world(s) of SNBA, there are two types of beings: mortals and gods, AKA Caeliti, or Caelum in singular. 'Mortal' encompasses any non-Caelum, whether human, demon, angel, or any of the other species created by the Caeliti.

That said, our main cast consists of the Caeliti, two humans, an angel, and a demon! Who knows, though, you might see some side characters pop up...

Anyways, for the sake of keeping this a reasonable length, this post will have the most basic information on the characters. More detailed info will come with lore posts!

FAIR NOTE: The Caeliti are all, with the exception of Luvian (who's a bit over a couple centuries), at least a couple millenia old in terms of how long they've existed. HOWEVER. They do something called 'blurring,' where in order to keep from going kind of insane with the day-to-day of being immortal, years will go by without them being fully conscious for it. This results in each having a different "moral" age than the time they've existed, as only time spent not blurred counts towards their experience. The exact "moral ages" haven't been set in stone for most besides Luvian, who's around 21-22 in that scale. As such, none but Luvian have an official age listed yet.

With that out of the way, here's our main cast:

Kard Freeman, The Youthful Justice — 21, it/its — mortal (magic-wielding human) ;; Kard is kinda like the protagonist of SNBA. It helps the Caeliti to realize that Poine isn't invincible, and to rally together against them and Theron. Aven and Taylor are its unofficial adoptive parents, and it calls them Dad (Taylor) and Pa/Pop/Pops (Aven). It,,, has a LOT of trauma. A lot. It's also quite close with Luvian, who it begins to date, and Aentropus, who it becomes a dynamic duo of sorts with.

Aven Defiocus, The Truth Speaker — 29, he/him & shx/hxr — mortal (fallen angel) ;; Aven was originally part of the order in Heaven known as the Higher Mortals, a group of angels tasked with 'keeping Hell in check'. Shx was meant to see what some commotion had been about, only to find that someone had massacred a town in Hell. After meeting Taylor, he realized that he'd been fed propaganda about Hell and its citizens, and promised them that he'd help them find who massacred the place. Shx was subsequently kicked out of Heaven for voicing hxr realization. Aven also starts to date Taylor later on.

Taylor Flameheart, The Exiled Collective — 29, they/them — mortal (lust demon) ;; Taylor is native to Hell, and like many demons, has been subject to the cruelty of the Higher Mortals. They were banished from their hometown after being framed, and when they returned, found only corpses... and Aven. After he de-escalated the fight and explained that he wasn't the one who'd done it, the duo came to an agreement to work together to find out who had. In their travels, they found Kard, unofficially adopting it. A side note I can't figure out how to fit in, also: Taylor is part of a system.

Sirius Novum, The Burning Star — 28, they/them — mortal (non-magic human) ;; Sirius is quite secretive about their past and current activities. At some point, they met Aven, becoming acquaintances-slash-allies... kind of. There's a big plot point involving them that we'd like to reveal in a lore post, so you'll get that soon. They also 'mentor' Kard for a while, teaching it to fight properly— their methods are. not quite the best.

Aentropus, The Spiraling Chaos — it/its — Caelum ;; Aentropus is the god of chaos/entropy, mischief, and sanity (or lack thereof). It is the first/oldest and most powerful Caelum, however this potential can't quite be reached fully without consequences. It was alone, with nothing and no one, for quite some time before .. time was even a thing. The complete nothingness drove it to the breaking point, and it lost a part of its mind/sanity in a breakdown. Soon after, other Caeliti formed. Due to several events in the past (most not its fault, what is its fault it tries to atone for), Aentropus ... has a hard time liking itself.

Theron, The God Hunter — he/him — Caelum ;; Theron is the god of violence/bloodshed and trauma. He is, to put it lightly, a bitch. When Aentropus was banished to the Light Void to cool down, he overtook Hell, one of its planets. He quickly got bored, and when it returned, was the first to show it kindness, which was probably the most morally correct thing he's ever achieved in his life /hj... Later, he "got curious," and. Murdered and cannibalized Flaerik. He was banished to the Dark Void, but was able to escape via a loophole that hasn't quite been established yet. He's the primary antagonist, and what's essentially a war is started in the attempt to bring him down for good.

Poine, The Silver Justice — they/them — Caelum ;; a bitch, but not in the funny villain way, they're just fucking insufferable. Poine took it upon themself as the deity of justice to be the unofficial-official "leader" of the Caeliti, ramping their efforts up a LOT after Flaerik's death. They could really be overthrown at any time, however they make very good use of manipulation, fear mongering, and. straight up torture. to keep their fellows in check. They cannot even fathom that they could ever be wrong, convinced that their fellows just don't like harsh truths. (No, Poine, your fellows just don't like TORTURE.)

Unipathos, The All Loving — she/her — Caelum ;; Unipathos is the goddess of love and kindness. Although she is the goddess of all love, not just romantic love, her preferred color scheme being pink, red, and white tends to give many mortals the wrong impression. Unipathos is the best at healing out of her fellows, and doesn't mind being the 'designated healer'. Don't underestimate her combat abilities, though— She's just as powerful as many of her fellows. She doesn't tend to be outspoken very often, and as such hasn't given Poine many excuses to torture her. Nevertheless, it's no secret what they do, and she isn't oblivious.

Staegnos, The Still Waters — She/her — Caelum ;; Staegnos is the goddess of water, peace/calmness, and neutrality. She used to be quite vocal against Poine— However, after they caught her in a container while she was shape-shifting and stranded her in an ocean for several months, she began to lean heavily into a stance on neutrality. She opts to "not pick sides" so as to "not stir the waters," in her own words. Her refusal to help when she often can results in most of her fellows disliking her, although this begins to fade as she learns to face her fears.

Vibrum, The Freeing Wind — thxy/thxm & xt/xts — Caelum ;; Vibrum is the god of air/wind, liberation, and freedom. Admittedly, xt doesn't do much for the plot at the moment, but for worldbuilding purposes, xt's needed. Thxy might get some dedicated lore soon, thxy really need it...

Saerol, The Shining Light — he/him & sol/sols — Caelum ;; Saerol is the god of light, the sun, truth, and shares control of perception of reality with Luvian. Just to clear it up from the get-go, he and Luvian are NOT brothers/siblings, despite that being the standard for many sun/moon duos. Their existences are quite intertwined, but they are not siblings. Moving on, Saerol acts as Poine's right hand for quite a while, although not committing nearly as many heinous acts as they have. Sol really just wants the best for sols fellows, and fell for Poine's manipulation that their method was the best— That's not to say he had no responsibility for his actions, though. Later on, when sol becomes disillusioned with them, Saerol ends up having to find a balance between healthy accountability and needless self-loathing. He and Luvian's friendship/connection starts to mend as time goes on.

Luvian, The Enveloping Dark — 22, he/him & lun/luns — Caelum ;; Luvian is the god of darkness, the moon, secrets, and shares control of perception of reality with Saerol. He is the youngest of the gods, both in the time he's existed and the time spent not blurred. Lun is also quite outspoken, which often results in Poine torturing lun. When Nelphite began to start coping healthily, he ended up becoming a parent-figure to Luvian, and now the duo would readily die for eachother if need be. Saerol and Luvian had a good friendship at first, but as things became more strained and sol sided with Poine more often, Luvian quickly grew to resent sol. Lun met Kard before it met its parents, but only briefly— More on that later.

Nelphite, The Great Wealth — he/him — Caelum ;; Nelphite is the god of wealth, politics, and money/currency. Ironically, he detests politics and greedy people, and would much rather not be the god of any of that. Nelphite and Flaerik were married before his death, and Nelphite went on a spiral afterwards. He turned to alcoholism in his grief, ultimately making a failed attempt on his life— After this, most of his fellows and he decided it would be best to wipe his memory of the event for the time being, so that he could try to cope better. However, Poine decided that they knew best, instead erasing ALL of his memories of Flaerik. He regains them at some point during the plot, but for a long time he is unaware. Still, the lack of memories helped in some ways, and he was able to cope healthily, abandoning his drinking problems.

Arturo, The Winged Karma — he/him — Caelum ;; Poine and Arturo are, in a way, two sides of the same coin. Where Poine is justice, Arturo is karma. All the same, their existences are quite intertwined. Poine, in something akin to jealousy, determined that Arturo was a threat to their position— "There could only be one," or something like that. Poine forced Arturo's being into the same shell that theirs was in, keeping him locked away in a place dubbed 'limbo'. This was all done quite fast from the time both started to exist, so nobody really knew Arturo existed, or was quickly gaslit into believing he never did. Poine basically uses Arturo as a punching bag for three millenia, but when Kard begins to overtake Poine as the being of justice, he's able to slip out more, ultimately culminating in Poine's banishment to limbo and Arturo retaking the shell for himself.

Flaerik, The Hopeful Flame — he/him — Caelum ;; Flaerik was the god of hope, passion, and heat/fire. Theron killing him wasn't personal so much as the bastard just saw Flaerik as the most convenient for target practice... Flaerik's ghost stuck around, in and out of being. He knew he had to rest to regain some kind of power, and so was dormant for quite some time. When Kard came around, however, he saw its potential. Watching it some times, resting others, Flaerik ultimately saved up enough power to appear to it for short times in the weeks leading up to the final confrontation with Theron. Over a century of being dead had turned him bitter, however, and Kard was pushed to practically the limit to get stronger. During the final battle, he helped keep it on its feet, and when Kard was having a 1v1 with Theron, Flaerik rallied the souls of other past victims to boost it. Even after the battle, he lingers for a while, not sure if he's ready to let go.

Fun facts and backstory reveals are soon to come, along with profiles! All will be revealed with time.

It always is, isn't it?

So, uh, little editor's note here. I WAS gonna explain the plot of the base timeline, but I realized that it would just be a big ramble of information to absorb, which is useful, but! we want people to See the stuff happen! We want it to be more than just words that get translated into art or music or stories or whatever. So. You'll get bits and pieces as we try to explain larger chunks while ALSO making it fun!!

Stay tuned!

• What is this gonna be? A webcomic? An ask blog? A novel???

▪︎ Well, we're hoping that we'll get plenty of asks eventually, but that'll be a while. As of now, SNBA is more of an open setting than having one canon timeline— Ultimately, we hope to have a 'base' for canon, if you will, that can be flexible and leave room for lots of headcanons, AUs, fanfics, what have you!

• How do I keep up with all the lore posts? What do I need to know now?

▪︎ There'll be several types, across several different formats— To keep things organized, there will be a post linked above the cut that keeps everything nice and tidy! Also, a couple words/alternate meanings to keep in mind:

Caelum = god/deity/goddess.. whatever

Caeliti = multiple of the above ⬆️

Cension = where the Caeliti live

Mortal = anyone that isn't a Caelum, whether theyre human or otherwise

Magic = ...... there's a lot of unused worldbuilding potential here, trust me, we'll work on it. It's honestly a plot device at the moment /hj

Heaven = Not an afterlife. It's a planet created by Aentropus. Angels are a mortal species.

Hell = Again, a planet created by Aentropus. Demons are also a mortal species.

• Is there an expected completion date? What indicates that SNBA is 'complete,' anyway?

▪︎ There's no goal for when SNBA is 'complete'. The closest it will ever come to being 'finished' is having a base/'canon' timeline of events, but keep in mind that canon isn't meant to be restrictive! Since a vast majority of the characters are (semi-)immortal, SNBA never really ends— Not to mention that there will always be alternate timelines, "What if"s, and all sorts of variations to explore.

• What's with the red text??

▪︎ Sometimes, to add a little bit of an ✨️interactive✨️ quality to some posts, we might add in text "written" by a character— It's up to everyone else to figure out who wrote what, but color and shape associations will become clear with time.

Not every AU has a name, but wow, there sure are a lot! Haha.... help. /j

Don't feel pressured to know all of these, really I'm just putting them here so we don't have to explain everything later... I'm not even sure how relevant they'll end up being. You can genuinely just scroll past this, its not gonna affect canon SNBA lore too much.

Better Days Ahead — An AU where Theron conveniently realizes that he's a Horrible Fucking Person due to an event occurring soon after Kard comes to Cension. Does he get redeemed? Maybe! Who knows! He sure thinks he won't!

The Antagonist AUs — A set of AUs answering the question, "What if [X] were the antagonist/villain instead of Theron?". Currently, Villain!Aentropus (AKA Entropy), Villain!Kard (aka Ace Freeman), and Villain!Staegnos (aka Tsunami) have been fleshed out. Also worth noting is that in Ace's AU, Theron is called Tempest. In other antagonist AUs where Theron never was one to begin with, he is known as Octavian.

Ace of Spades — A divergent timeline of the Villain!Kard AU in which Ace, instead of aiming to overtake Tempest in power, just Really Fucking Hates Him, but unfortunately has nowhere else to go! (Or does it?)

All-Consuming Entropy — just a vague idea right now, but essentially, it takes Aentropus' general instability and cranks it up a LOT. and I mean a LOOOT. Like, "now all the Caeliti are trapped within its consciousness and it's essentially the universe itself" a lot.

Eternal Flames (aka the time loop AU) — There are four Caeliti who didn't make the cut to stay in canon, and two of those, Eropa and Primos, find a place in this one! The two Caeliti of time (past and present) fight for control over the future and, in the process, manage to accidentally trap Aentropus and Nelphite into a loop, repeating the days leading up to Flaerik's death over and over again... There may not be time to fix it if Aentropus' sanity depletes before the duo can settle their differences.

Lore masterpost (posted after this)

YouTube Channel (will have more OC stuff on it once we get more active here, but there's definitely stuff that'll be posted since we've made a buuunch of stuff thus far)

So, you've made it this far.

Wow. You must be interested in seeing us have at it, huh?

No, no, there's no judgment here! Really, I'm much the same— and they kicked me out for it, can you believe that?

Come on, I was just hungry... I wanted to try something new! I mean, sure, it'd suck to lose my husband if I had one, I guess. But really, he can get over it.

It's all a game! They all love it, I know they do. The screaming and yelling and cursing and crying? That's my reward. "You're a monster!" this, "I can't wait to kill you!" that, they're all such good actors.

Yes, it's all a game. It's a game that I intend to win.

And I will. Oh, I will, and I know I will! Would you like to know how I know?

It's oh, so simple.

My fellows just can't keep their problems to themselves!

Isn't that hilarious? So high and mighty, and yet they never can keep their creations from getting involved... Even mine have!

Oh, what fun— I'm nearly shaking in anticipation!

But, I digress.. I'm boring you, aren't I? That's okay. There's so much more to come. What's that advice again, 'show, don't tell'?

You'll have a show, alright. A wonderful, bloody, tragic show.

I'll be waiting.

[snowzing1]

Art suggestions/ requests welcome

I'm open to hearing art requests/ suggestions in comments, reposts, asks or otherwise, nor do I mind multiple from the same person. As of now, I have no intention of ever doing commissions so you don't have to feel bad asking me to draw anything. I just may not, and honestly probably won't, do all. And the quality of drawing may vary. Don't take it personally if I don't do it or its just a rough doodle, it's most likely not personal, but I do still enjoy seeing people's suggestions on what to draw and sometimes it's a nice challenge, thank you

If you accidentally follow me;

Feel free to unfollow. It happens to all of us, I won't judge lmao

How Old Are Sans and Frisk to Me?

I interpreted the original game versions of Sans and Frisk to be around their 20s. Otherwise just adults period. Kind of boring limiting their original characters when that's what made them so enduring to begin with

DO NOT INTERACT;

People who lack common sense.

This post will silently update in case you think you're going crazy lollll

🧼Supporter of anti-censor & anti-bullying🧼

I make really good friends or really whiny enemies™️

I'm an open book but don't like being expected to give personal answers >^^<

"Someone else's fiction cannot cause you physical harm.

If someone else's fiction is causing you emotional or psychological harm, or distress, you can put it down and not read/watch it.

Your emotional well-being is not the responsibility of fiction writers.

Someone else's fiction is not about your personal trauma.

When reading or watching fiction, you always have the power. You can always stop. You are never reading fiction without your own consent.

Fiction writers are not responsible for other people's mental health.

The content of a piece of fiction does not reflect on the morality of its author.

Just because someone writes about bad things happening, doesn't mean they want those things"

-Some random guy on the internet

I do not care if you tag anything of mine as ship art between characters, regardless of my intention. For that is not how ship art works. Go wild, none of my business what you do

Adoptables are, in my opinion, kind of dumb and, at worst, controlling scams

Full belief in separating the work from the artist- actually I don't even wanna know the artist~

I hereby give permission to any and all to spam like my posts or general interactions, I have notifications turned off for a reason, now raise my ego 😌

I am in the most dead and sad shipping community possible, slowly withering away (not true. This is pretty average)

[incorrect-lightlark-facts]

really involved oro/grim situation you say 👀👀 is there any way i can convince you to infodump a little about said situation? im SO GLAD to have found someone else who thinks oro and grim should kiss and i would LOVE to hear some of your thoughts about them

So just as a heads-up, their relationship as I've written it isn't healthy and I won't try to pass it off as such! Between the political tension, the curses, and each of their personal issues, the interpersonal terrain is rocky enough that the odds were always stacked pretty high against them having a chill, healthy romance. Also it's very, very incomplete, so there are a lot of gaps and things I might tweak so that I'm not completely ignoring canon.

The timeline in the book is a bit muddled, but this is a general idea of what I'm working with. Grim and Oro were presumably either adults or older teenagers during the war between Nightshade and Lightlark. In my personal version of events, Grim's father brought Grim and a host of Nightshade soldiers to Lightlark to demand sovereignty over the island, and there Grim and Oro met. They made eye contact over the negotiations table while their guardians were arguing, Grim gave an exaggerated eye-roll that made Oro kind of want to punch him in the nose, and that was their meet-cute. Despite making no progress with diplomacy, Grim's father declared that he would give King Egan a few days to change his mind (in reality, he wanted time to complete his war preparations), which meant that the boys had those few days to run into each other.

Grim had never met any of the other heirs, so he couldn't leave Oro alone. After meeting in the training yard and sizing each other up a bit, they were both a bit... underwhelmed? Grim found Oro dull and neurotic, and Oro found Grim immature and pretentious. In spite of the altogether negative first impressions, they spent a little time sparring and talking about how different their lives were, and no one got hurt. They were both lonely and stressed out of their minds and found much-needed, albeit delicate solidarity in each other.

Of course, the war happened, and it's hard to find the same tentative tolerance for someone who is leading troops against you. Grim was rather detached from the Nightshade cause, just trying to please his father and prove himself as a warrior. Oro feared and resented the way he could slaughter dozens of Lightlark's warriors without even having an emotional force driving him to fight; it dehumanized him in Oro's eyes just as it did in everyone else's.

The situation™️ really started while Grim was living in Lightlark's main castle (I call it Keystone lmao) after Nightshade surrendered. Twenty years is a solid chunk of time to be stuck with anyone, and for the first part of it, Grim was only allowed to go unescorted if he stayed within the castle walls. Harassing Oro was basically his only hobby. There was a huge disconnect between the two of them, though, because Grim was trying to fall back on their old rapport, while Oro had grown to hate him. Grim backed off a little, but whenever Oro would snap and bring up Grim's apathy toward the people he killed, Grim would remind him that people who kill in a fit of passion often commit much worse atrocities. He used similar tactics frequently—"logical" statements that actually dug into Oro's fear of unanticipated consequences. His goal was not to control or coerce Oro, but he wanted attention and was not thinking about how Oro might actually feel. He was lonely and refusing to process his own trauma from the war, and he was really only thinking about himself.

Meanwhile, Oro accidentally found a source of reassurance in Grim, which is great when your primary compulsion is reassurance seeking. Whenever Grim struck a nerve, Oro would use the ensuing argument as a means of self soothing. This meant that they argued often, but to an outside observer, those arguments appeared to become less aggressive and more desperate. Essentially, the two of them formed this messy codependent bond where in the fallout of a devastating war when no one else had time to meet their emotional needs, they drove each other nuts but felt safer together than anywhere else.

So it's a good thing they were both functionally immortal at this point, because this wasn't a fantastic basis to work with. They both had some serious personal growth and recovery to go through, but oops curses, and oops both of their guardians were suddenly dead, and oops they were rulers of realm. On the morning after the old rulers sacrificed themselves for the prophecy, Grim climbed through Oro's window and delivered a panicked speech to the tune of "I want to go home but I don't know how to do this without you." They tried to work out a strategy for taking up their respective guardians' crowns AND deciphering the prophecy, but they made almost no progress and ended up just awkwardly curled up on opposite sides of Oro's bed pretending to sleep for several hours.

The ensuing several hundred years are where I have a loooot of empty space to fill in. I know that they tried to hide their weird dynamic from the other rulers, but even after Grim returned to the Nightshade newlands it was kind of obvious to everyone that something was up. Grim would frequently abuse his Nightshade portal privileges to sneak into the castle and hang around Oro like a weird emo cat. As long as neither of them talked about the war, Oro's brother, or the outside world's belief that Grim was responsible for the curses, they started to genuinely enjoy each other's company. There were a lot more instances of stealing naps in Oro's bed. Someone made the mistake of leaving them alone and they kissed at Azul's wedding. Both of them attempted to have normal relationships during this time, but boy are they not built for that.

Things soured in the century or so leading up to the events of Lightlark mostly because Grim was growing increasingly frustrated with the way Oro separated his personal life from political matters. Nightshade and Lightlark were still not on good terms. Even though there was no rational way Oro could have suddenly reconciled centuries of international hostility, Grim took it personally. The more he started to see how unsustainable Nightshade's isolation and fight against the ~Greater Evil~ (that's a whole other infodump) was, the more he started to believe that his father had a point, and he felt like Oro wasn't making an effort to set aside Egan's biases. Fun fact: Grim can't stop projecting on other people or he'll explode. On top of that, Grim of course noticed that he wasn't being invited to Centennials. Oro was extremely avoidant every time he demanded to know why, and Grim just grew more and more frustrated, and that hard-won feeling of trauma-forged security between them weakened drastically.

The plan for the events of Lightlark (or my equivalent lmao) is to play around with the way Isla finds herself wedged between these two clowns. I know that the climax involves Grim dying for Oro to set up the sequel, wherein the remaining rulers go on an uncomfortable bonding road trip to revive his dumb ass.

ANYWAY, this was a mess and I ended up using a lot of words to say very little, but I want things to get better between them so that they aren't just constructively-interfering waves of unaddressed issues and poor communication.

[sanguine-inkwell]

Hello! Mod Smoke here. Crawling out of my hole to vampire post, because I think half the people who follow us probably think this is an aesthetic blog.

It’s not entirely wrong, we like Pretty Pictures and getting a little silly with it, but dear gods I have a craving. I’ve been wondering if I should keep some sort of diary. I am terrible at diaries, but I wonder if there’s some sort of variable that influences the cravings.

The thing is, we have a couple of wrenches in the machine. First: my ability to detect my own physical needs is messed up. ADHD is like that. I can easily go several days without a single sandwich and only remember food is a need because I start walking into walls and such. So! The fact that I’m not craving blood on a regular basis doesn’t exactly mean it wouldn’t be if I didn’t have ADHD. Still. You work with what you’ve got!

Secondly, I haven’t had real blood in an age, so I should test that to be sure I’m still correct that that’s a real want instead of just an abstract psychological thing. Like how one of the mods is a smoke elemental otherkin (funny story actually), and xe wants to feed on smoke, but actually hates cigarettes and cigars and standing near campfires because it irritates xyr body.

My running hypothesis has always been that my being a vampire is connected to Neglect Trauma™️, so maybe I want to grab people and put my mouth on them and consume them because some sort of touch starvation wire got crossed. It could definitely be argued that feeding on people is intimate, to say the least. Substitutes do help- hibiscus tea works, pomegranate juice helps, fruit gushers work. To a point, anyway. Physical contact.... sort of helps? Not entirely. I never got the hang of that astral/energy feeding business.

I have tried before, and trying to “skim off the top” in grocery stores and nightclubs did do something. Kind of like eating a protein bar. It’s not curry, but it’s also better than a cookie. Then again, I have to ask myself: am I actually feeding on something, or is it handling some of the innate loneliness?

When it comes to apparently illogical, magical things, there’s usually a root reason of some sort. I wouldn’t go so far as to say magic and science are the same thing, because they require slightly different methods of thought and approach, but they’re similar enough. I don’t know if psi feeding is a real thing or just me using the same placebo effect that pomegranate juice gives me out of sheer willpower. There’s something there, though.

I also can’t completely discount the idea that maybe the “food” wire in my brain got crossed because I barely remember to eat, but if that was the case then I would think the blood craving would stop after an entire meal and a tall glass of water. Whatever need exists there isn’t satisfied by Stomach Full, so I don’t think that’s it.

Anyway! Blood cravings are hell and sciencing my way out of it has limited success, so it’s plan B time: find some food.