#withallmyparts

[withallmyparts]

Something’s got me. And now I just can’t take it anymore. I can’t take you anymore. You’re too much. You’re no good for me right now. You don’t treat me right. The thing that makes me upset is I’m not the only one. But I guess I should have known that. I was never the only one. You always had other girls on the side. You were always talking, but I’m done talking to you for now. I need time to realize what I want to do next. Whatever I decide to do won’t include you.

[withallmyparts]

You've got to be kidding me

"So much for best friends." Really though, you're mad cause you say I haven't really talked to you since the middle of November. I talked to you more than once, in the middle of November and days at the end and you were the one to not respond to me. You're the one that fucking ignored me. I don't know why you're getting mad at me like I did shit to you. Like really, obviously you don't know what you're talking about. You said the last time I talked to you was when i needed advice about some issues. I'm sorry I thought that's why I had friends but I guess not. If you had something you wanted to talk about then just tell me about it. I even asked you how you were and you said good:). To me that actually means good, but I guess I wasn't reading between the lines. Maybe it was that smiley face that threw me off and thought you were actually good. So I guess this is all my fault for actually believing you. But really don't talk shit when there's really nothing to say. You say you're gonna be your own best friend fine, I really don't need someone that's gonna make shit about nothing and just cause more stress. And also I liked how you wrote on my wall and then deleted it. Glad I get notifications to my phone.

[withallmyparts]

I fell twice today in pe. First on my butt then dragged across the gym, then on my head /neck/ shoulders cause I got slapped doing a handstand. After lunch this kid kept teasing me and his friend said I had no butt:/ I got home tried to make a cake couldn't open the bag the mix was in so I being oh so smart thought I should burn the corner of the bag so that there's a hole. I touched the corner to fast and burned my thumb. My mom helped at me and was like I'll open it and took a knife and cut it. I probably shouldn't have been hold the bag too cause she cut my other thumb. But you know even with all that that happen today is was still a pretty good day. Never laughed so hard in one class.

[withallmyparts]

Don't say you'll call me tonight. I'll end up looking like an idiot waiting for your call that won't come. And then most likely you won't text me in the morning to apologize, so I'll be even more mad and write a post about it. And by then..well I'll just be mad at you.

[withallmyparts]

Tell me you don't love me, and I'll leave you, even try to believe you.

It'll be difficult for me but you know what I'll move on. Just tell me it please, so I don't have to basically live a lie. Please. I'm begging you. Say it.

[withallmyparts]

No homecoming for me 10/27/11

So I was supposed to go to homecoming with my boyfriend but we broke up:/ he said it would be okay to stay friends. I had always wanted to go to my homecoming with him, nothing would have ever changed that. Now that I ask him if he wants to go to homecoming still he doesn't even answer me. I guess I can understand if he doesn't want to talk to me but still it makes me unhappy.

Maybe I shouldn't worry about this too much. Maybe I should just try to forget we ever happened. But I can't forget someone that used to be one of my best friends for three years. Before we got together he was always the one I wanted to talk to. I talked to him more than my best girlfriend. He was a part of my life. I'd never want to lose that part. Sometimes I get stuck on exes and I over think everything we went through and i guess I'm doing that now but he was just so amazing. I messed up something that could have led to big and better things. No relationship I have ever been in has ever made me feel the way I felt when I was with him. It was scary. I loved him. Not that friend kind of love, that actual love. Maybe it was a bitch move to say it to him the day we're breaking up but I didn't want us to end without him knowing how I truly felt about him. All of this has just made me feel horrible, this entire week I've felt bad about it. For anyone out there that actually reads this, its not the best idea to date your best friends. If you guys breakup then either it'll end up bad and you guys wont talk anymore or you guys are cool enough to go back to actually being friends but that person has still seen aside of you no one else has seen and who knows something could go wrong. But I'm sure he's moving on now so I should too. It sucks cause I go to his blog every time I'm on tumblr, that's pretty often, and I really don't think he even looks at my shit. Hopefully the next thing I write about him is somewhat good.

And the good thing is that  since I'm not going to my homecoming I have at the least four other options, hopefully my night will turn out better than if I went to homecoming.

[withallmyparts]

Hun,

You meant the world to me, you just don't know it.

[withallmyparts]

Last night I feel like I've lost the best guy I could have ever met in my entire life.

[withallmyparts]

If you have a problem then fix it. If you can't fix it then get over it. Move the fuck on. No one fucking cares what you do. Help yourself. No one is going to be there for you forever so stop depending on people for things. I'm pretty sure you're capable of helping yourself.

[withallmyparts]

Makayla, i love you like dodger likes to bite people <3 i am soooo upset that i cant spend the weekend with you and i have to be with my gay family D: blehh!we like have to go to fearfest on halloween weekend! cause if we dont im gonna cry ;( but yeah , im sooo happy i at least got to spend this wonderful friday night with you :) & your dog is laying down like a freak right now , its pretty funny haha :D i like your Alice in Wonderland background , very cute :) lol . . . hahhahah we have like two identifiers for you know who lol SOCKS & WHEN IM SAD... hahahha :D remember steve , cupcake, fishstick lol i am like soooo happy i met you in 4th grade & started to really talk to you in 5th , cause if i didnt then i dont even know if id be here at your house right now! :o that would be horrible! <--- ahhahah i only did this thing so i could see how it looked , & its pretty cool i guess. i wish this thing had different fonts but whatevsss , what are ya gonna do? :) well back to looking at some pictures :D  

I LOVE YOU SOO VERY VERY MUCHO1 <3333

              -<3-

                   Brittany Sparks aka bee :}

[withallmyparts]

So if anybody wants to make a new friend they should send me a message:)

[withallmyparts]

[withallmyparts]

....expecting a text from someone and then when my phone vibrates my heart skips a beat and I get butterflies and then I realize it wasn't the person I was hoping for , then a minute later I get another text from the person I actually want

[withallmyparts]

So happy to go out later tonight to hang out with my guys. It's all I need to relax and forget.

[withallmyparts]

This Morning 9/22/11

This morning before I woke up I had a dream that my alarm went off and the music that was playing wasn't the CD I had in the player so I opened the CD player opener thing but the CD that was in there wasn't the CD that was playing. And for some reason my alarm clock was on my bed and I was holding it in my sleep. Then when I woke up from the dream a few seconds later my dad told me to get up and then after left my real alarm clock went off.

I just think that's weird.And my actual CD that's supposed to play is Hoodie Allen's Leap Year and the CD that played in my dream was Kirk Franklin's Nu Nation Project. That's two totally different genres of music. My dreams are just random and dumb.

This other dream I had this week I was at some school, but it wasn't my school, and I went to lunch with some of my friends and we got lasagna. We sat down at a table and then for some reason there was a hug bag that was kinda like a combination of a drawstring bag and a duffel bag. One of my friends asked me to get something out of the bag. I tried to just reach my arm in and just get it but I couldn't reach it. So I got inside of the bag to look for whatever he wanted and I guess I tried to come out but I got stuck inside of the bag, I don't even know how. And then out of no where my 6th grade history teacher started laughing at me from across the room. I don't remember anything after that but I'm pretty sure I didn't even get anything out of the big.

[withallmyparts]

Its funny cause me and best friend were just singing the song Wish You Were Here like two days ago.