#with the metamorphosis it just reminded me of that due to how the people perceive the wolf is similar to how gregor is seen in the novella

[cowchickenbeefpork]

god I need to rewatch the wolf man (1941) again I take breaks while watching films often which is a bad habit I need to break I need to stop treating movies like they’re books this film was fantastic I just finished it and like it’s so fucking good. One of my favorite films. Made me wanna cry. Love the themes of isolation and how no one believed Larry’s illness he was either seen as being ridiculous or being inherently cruel deep down in his heart or even just the mere assertion he was insane and needed to get treatment for psychosis when that was not what he was facing in his struggles. He knew he was harmful to others he knew what was happening to him but no one took his word for it. No one truly believed except the mother of a son who lived and died as a werewolf. To know what is wrong with you and try to isolate, try to ensure everyone else is safe after finally acknowledging that is something you are going through, and for everyone else to never understand it is heartbreaking. He did nothing to deserve this fate. No one truly deserves being treated like this, being neglected like this.

I also kinda interpreted how Larry’s father reacted to his son behaving like this as him knowing that the asylums won’t help, you know? This is a recurring issue in their family, something that has sprung up again and again, family members with the same illness, the same curse. I feel like they have at least tried to institutionalize them before at least once, and realized how horrendous they treated them in it. He doesn’t want his son to go through that, he wants his son to just push through this “delusion” and make it through when he cannot. His father basically has to convince himself that his son can push through if he tries hard enough, because that itself feels like it is the only cure for something like this. He doesn’t want his son to become a husk, he doesn’t know how to help his little boy. His own attempts to help him by trying to make him snap out of it only pushes them further off the edge, leading to his death by the hands of his own father at the end of the film.

[burninghorizon]

The reason I have been unwell lately is due to some pressing matters(bf lost job, I've been getting less hours bc business is slow) but also because of the way I'm changing. I don't like change, I don't cope with it well. Logically I know it's necessary. People aren't always logical.

I realized that my body(astral) is reaching critical mass. It's becoming self-actualized, denser, ready to implode into a backwards metamorphosis, much to my delight and horror. Like a salmon, I've left the place of my beginning to grow fat and happy, and now I will return home to spawn. This is good. I will die. I will change back into what I once was.

I remind myself I don't have to be just one thing. It's funny, that's a core tenet of my beliefs and yet I feel like its wrong due to the years of society beating into me that anything with a dual nature is wrong. I see why, duality can be perceived as deceptive. I am both freshwater and saltwater. Human and Not. Man and Woman. Peaceful and Violent. Changing and Unchanged.

I leaned into the cowboy aesthetic so hard because 1) it's cool as hell and 2) it feels so comforting, to be this and not attached to my old interests. I was all silk and lace in the beginning, if you could see me from 5 years ago you wouldn't recognize me. I pushed away from the corsets and doublets after my heartbreak. It was too much, everything reminded me of him.

Aerith was kind enough to help me do my hair today and in a moment of serendipity, suggested a mermaid braid. A style I wore often back then. I was shocked at how similar I looked to my old self. I was shocked at how much I liked it.

I'll still be our family's funny little cowboy, the outfits make great work clothes(that's what cowboy clothes are after all). Tonight I'm going to trawl around the markets I know of, peruse boutiques, if I'm feisty I might even hire a tailor. I want something with lots of ruffles.

The salmon return to their birth place, the river swells as they're reborn. Their young taste the servitude of instinct, the appetite grows in them until it reaches critical mass.

[mindflayerapologist]

In a modern AU I think the ST kids would get really into homestuck because it’s extremely convoluted and the classpects would appeal to their DND side of creating a character type (cleric, paladin, etc.) and their alignment…

Dustin gets on the rest about never skipping through anything. I think Lucas is either really into every aspect or skips some of the intermissions. Mike hasn’t skipped through anything because he tends to hyperfixate in stuff but he doesn’t remember hardly anything aside from some major plot points such as Ascend or the jokes that are plastered around the internet. Idk where Will lies in that spectrum

Will likes Dave because he also has daddy issues but more importantly because Dave’s apartment being a place where he never feels safe due to his brother potentially hiding cameras everywhere plus Lil Cal always watching is relatable as Will felt/feels like hes always being watched, first through the upside down and later through the mindflayer. Depending on the circumstance I think he finds Cal’s and thus Lord English’s influence on Bro to be really interesting and something he wants to explore more or offputting because it reminds him of being possessed, especially given how many people he perceives himself to have hurt as a result of that. Also into karkat because his whole arc of accepting that he’s not going to perfectly fill his quadrants the way troll society wants to is pretty much a metaphor for human sexuality and obviously Will is gay soooo… I also think he could possibly be into Mituna to some extent given Mituna was literally doomed by the narrative by being in a doomed timeline and Will probably feels like he is as well sometimes.

I think Dustin likes John and Rose, John because he’s kind of a smart ass and rose because she puts on an air of sarcastic and cynical nonchalance (although he is aware that in the text that’s largely a façade to mask larger issues). Probably also likes Roxy for her hacker skills and gets mad when people reduce her to an alcy.

I think Mike also likes John but as he gets older and he and Will start to butt heads more and more he gets attached to Dirk as a character because dirk thinks of himself as a villain and mike feels like Will often vilifies him (and to an extent he is right- a phone call goes both ways) and considering he’s “the leader” of the party but they’re constantly splitting off or finding new people to attach themselves to I think he’d be sympathetic to Dirk’s constant need for control that he can never get because his friends are always at each others throats and can’t work together the way the beta kids can. I also think he’s either a full vriska hater or a vriska apologist, perhaps even going through a metamorphosis of the two.

Lucas is harder for me to pin down. My gut says that he’d like rose for her sardonic view as well, and I think maybe he relates to her on a base level but also doesn’t like later renditions of her as she becomes an alcoholic like Roxy (who I don’t think he would like). He would also probably like Karkat and maybe even Equius because both of them have (although based on different life experiences from their place on the caste system) have a struggle that is based around fitting into their society, and especially in season 4 we see his struggle with wanting to finally not be picked on vs the way the basketball team actually is. I also could see Lucas as being into the other mspa comics and thus having an attachment to like, spades slick. I think he likes the entire midnight crew, just because it would be fun for him to like them.

I don’t see max or El being into homestuck really, max probably tried to get into it only be put off by the weird pacing and plot, and El because she doesn’t really understand the world and is shown to have a hard time with studying/reading (and still doesn’t know so many words) so a webcomic that involves giant walls of text that also happen to use terminology that is either made up or not typically used (such as the characters “absconding”) would not be her thing. Nevertheless I think the boys would probably try to point to characters they could relate to.

Mike tries to point El to vriska and sollux originally because of their psionics but I don’t believe el would be into them because she thinks they’re both kind of dishonest assholes. When that doesn’t work I think he’d point he towards Jade and she’d like her much better, also having powers with her space aspect but being an overall more friendly character that also based on her dreams seems to be way more entrenched in the plot itself (not just the comic but you know actually being a device or part of the game in and of herself) would be relatable to El because El feels kind of attached/entrenched with the Upside down.

Max would probably also like characters like Dave because she too feels like she needs to put up walls to be safe and she has a shitty older brother that she has way too many complicated feelings about. After the show ends and she’s blind (a headcanon I’m very fond of) Lucas makes jokes about her being similar to Terezi which she’s not super opposed to because Terezi is generally seen as a pretty badass character, although she still likes to fuck with him and pretend to be offended.

I will come back to this later probably and fill in which classpects they would have and other stuff like that. I’d really like to do an analysis on how SBaHJ would be perceived by the party but I’d have to think more on that