#with the first question often being 'What are you doing?'
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madamechrissy · 1 day ago
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I'll look After You
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Pairings: Satoru Gojo x fem reader (reader is a mom)
Summary: You longed to hear from Satoru, After an epic night hooking up in a club bathroom, sure you'd been strangers, but he has your number, he made you feel so special... but... he never contacts you again. Ten months later, you have a beautiful baby named Reign, with those exact blue eyes. You never saw him again, couldn't even find him, so now, you are living your life as a single mom. Messy bun, dark circles, exhausted, you run into Satoru one day, and he sees her, his baby girl, and sees you struggling, he knows then, you're what's been missing in his life.
CW: Going to be sweet and emotional, Satoru is a freaking doll, misunderstanding led to him not knowing (nothing is kept from anyone on purpose) Fluffy long oneshot where Satoru falls in love with reader and his little girl. Gojo being a dad and being cute! Will have smut at the end as all my oneshots do lol, so MDNI, and flashbacks to the original bathroom smut (will list all the warnings when it comes out!)
Preview below! Comment to get added to the taglist when it's out!! (Soon!!) <3
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You often wondered about him, Satoru was his name.
As you look down at your baby girl, with her brilliant blue eyes while she’s cooing happily, giving you a gummy little grin, you wonder what he’d think if he knew about her. The random guy at the bar you gave your number to after hooking up in a bathroom, the guy who never called, the guy with no social media of which to speak. The guy you never, ever saw again.
Your baby’s father, the best thing that ever happened to you, surely, but also it was very difficult, being a single mom, you’d have to go back to work soon which you were dreading, spending sleepless nights up feeding, changing her. It had been a rough pregnancy, and a shocking one at that, people had questioned you over and over, some mentioned not having her.
But something in you knew you could do this, you could have this baby, you’re broke as fuck but she has all she needs, and she makes you so happy, but those eyes are unmistakable. No one has eyes like that, except her and her
 well was he really her 'dad'? You wonder if he’d run ten million miles from you if he knew, or would he have been okay with it?
It’s odd that just a night of fun, alcohol and being on antibiotics created this amazing little girl, but you can’t be upset, not when she brightens your world. But you still ache at times, for her to have a dad, you hope you’re enough. You wonder about him though, the bright energetic man, the one that had made you feel more in one evening than anyone ever.
The last man you’d been with.
Yes, it’s been that long, Reign was two months old, so you’re damn near at a year, you say it’s because you’re so busy, but something deep in you knows that you felt something for him, deeper than the obvious physical. Something about how he looked at you, at how he laughed, at how he made you feel so special.
You assume it must have been some act, clearly, here you are, alone after all. You both only knew each other’s first names, it’s true, but he had that number. Maybe it wasn’t all you thought it was? Maybe he just was that sort of guy, the one that made women think they’re his everything with one of his kisses, maybe you were just too drunk, and he was too pretty.
You blink a bit, shaking the haze thoughts of him as you yawn a bit, exhausted from Reign keeping you up all night, her tummy had been hurting. You’re sleepily putting things in the cart, baby items, groceries, the essentials, you catch sight of yourself in the mirror above the produce, wincing then. You have a messy bun and are in pajamas, god help you if you ever wanted to meet a guy.
‘Oh hi, I have a baby with a random blue eyed dude from a bar, I’m broke as fuck, and I wear pajamas to the store. Wanna date?’
Yeah. That would go over well.
“It’s
 it’s
 you!?” You sleepily look up then, so exhausted you barely register the six foot three man for a moment, then suddenly it all hits.
He stares at you, those blue eyes, the eyes your baby has, wide now, his pouty pink lips dropped open. He’s just as gorgeous as you remember him, like it’s some dream, you feel weak then, chest rising and falling as your breaths come too quickly. He steps closer to you then, he hasn’t seen her yet, nestled in her little car seat on the cart, you’re panicking.
“Do you even remember me? Oh my god, that night my phone broke, and I had just got it, they couldn’t transfer the numbers! And I tried to look you up? But I couldn’t find you
 and I never saw you
 and then- fuck I’m rambling.” He laughs nervously, swiping his hand through his snowy locks. “Forgive me, please
 what I mean to say is
 Hi?”
“Hi
” Your baby whines then, and Satoru pauses, blinking and you move to the side then, he steps closer when Reign opens her eyes, grinning at him.
Satoru’s heart pounds in his chest, his entire world tilts on its axis, he was already so thrown off by seeing you again, the girl he hasn’t been able to stop thinking of, but now
 he looks at you in shock, you look exhausted, but so beautiful, your eyes tear up then, he watches your shoulders slump, then he looks back at the baby, realization sinking in.
“She’s
 is she
 there’s no way
”
“She’s yours, I only hooked up with you for the past
 year.” You manage to say softly, right in the middle of the fruit aisle, Satoru was finding out you have his baby.
“You did this alone?” He says then, blinking back emotions for a girl he barely knew, but who now has a part of him, a part he wants to know so badly suddenly, shocking him.
“I had no clue who you were, how to tell you, even if so, it’s not your responsibility okay? I take care of her just fine, I make it work.” Satoru’s heart breaks then, seeing how tired you are, seeing the endless baby items and cheap toilet paper, a cheap bottle of wine, is that all you get yourself?
You did this alone, you have his baby alone, altering your life while he’s living his just the same, partying with his best friends, working and living a luxurious life. Satoru was rich, and it’s clear his baby and his baby’s mother are struggling, and he’s here doing what? Could he have tried harder to find you!? Could he

“We’re okay, you don’t have to worry. I’d never come for you for anything, I am happy being her mommy.” You say with a tired smile, reaching to touch her little chubby cheek, and Satoru has never seen anything so beautiful, the two of you.
He’s felt so empty for this year, is this what he was missing?
“Can I
 please
 can I know her?” He asks, gulping now, and you blink in shock, nodding quickly.
“I would love that.” You can’t stop your tears then, sniffling and shaking your head. “Please, let’s talk outside of the produce aisle?” You whisper, he nods quickly, unable to take his eyes off you, off his baby.
Coming sooon- based loosely on a request for @bunheadusa hehe, prob gonna be long I can't help myself.
perma tags- @alt--er--love @cuntphoric @seeing-stars-alt @nanasukii28 @labelt-san @makingtimemine @aldebrana @n1vi Perma Gojo tags: @chiyokoemilia @haruhatake @strychnynegirl <3
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monsterfucker-lisa-swallows · 2 days ago
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i think the disconnect over what doctors and society sees as "getting better" does not match up with my expectations for it
doctors define getting better as being able to work and perform in a way that is indistinguishable from the people around you. it's basically "don't be a nuisance". you are expected to do anything you reasonably can to get to a baseline where other people can't tell you're in pain and you don't require government assistance. but even when it's that, they're often going off metrics that are based on their life experiences and not ours. many are able bodied with no serious mental ailments and they live their lives in fear of becoming us. they think if they had our problems, they would focus first and foremost on "getting better" because the idea of a wheelchair scares them. the idea of needing ANY help scares them, particularly if they are boomers, because older generations were raised to believe it's a weakness and a burden to need any help.
my idea of "getting better" is being able to do my hobbies without brain fog. it's not being deterred from fun activities because of my back pain. it's refusing to meditate because it actively makes my ptsd worse. it's using mobility aids in the airport because they prevent me from being in terrible pain and suffering the worst anxiety. it's asking for help when i need it. we do not have to "deserve" "luxuries" like quality time with people we love and the ability to do hobbies by torturing ourselves and performing for others, fuck that.
i once watched a documentary attempting to answer the question if disabled people can be truly happy. the documentary was made by a disabled man and interviewed different people with different disabilities. what struck me was a man with a birth defect that left him with no arms talking about how his whole life he was pressured into wearing and practicing with his prosthetic arms even when it hurt him. he much prefers to open doors with his feet and use self driving vehicles. but people to this day still pressure him to use less effective methods that hurt him. why would they do that to a perfectly healthy man? because THEY are uncomfortable and have not examined their own horror at the idea of what they would do if they didn't have a limb. they treat it as this end of the world thing, as if everyone should have to find a way to perform in the world the exact same way as they do or else they have an existential crisis. but you know what - fuck em. do (or don't do) the things that make your life worth living.
You know what? It’s fucking hard trying to get better. It’s exhausting managing doctors appointments, doing daily PT exercises, eating better, trying to exercise, trying to meditate, and doing ADL’s. I have had a bad crash per week trying to juggle and do all of the above.
It’s easier and less acutely painful to just coast and not actively work on ‘getting better’. Is the work worth it? I don’t know yet.
But to people who’ve tried and given up, to those who don’t even bother - you still deserve care and compassion.
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xoxxbilliexoxx · 21 hours ago
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I Can Help With That ;)
After months of no sex and a now insatiable hunger to get fucked, your best friend Billie offers to help you out.
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you were laying on billie’s couch, legs draped across her as you continued on listening to her crazy ass story of her most recent hookup. You two have a friendship that allows for nothing to be kept secret. Every thought, every memory, every story, and every moment is shared with each other. So, listening to her go on and on about how happy she was to be munching on some random models coochie is just another normal day for you.
The only difference is your mood. It seems as though you’ve been going through a dry spell, with no sex for too many months to count. You just got tired of the random hookups and messy situations it always leads to and stopped putting yourself out there. Within the last week, your craving to be pleased by someone other than yourself has become insatiable. Masterbating just isn’t doing it, you need to be properly fucked by someone again.
As you listened to your best friend paint the scene of her last sexscapade you felt a pit forming in your stomach. You couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop it. You felt so hungry for pleasure. It’s not her you were horny for necessarily, it’s just the image of fucking a girl again, of being messily wrapped around another body, laid out with sheets tangled between you and the sound of heavy breathing taking up the room.
You were completely zoned out, caught up in your own little erotic daydreaming before Billie snapped you out of it. “Y/n, hello? I asked you a question, did you hear me?” she laughed at your startled face, clearly having drawn you out of a deep thought too suddenly. “what the hell were you thinking about girl” “it’s nothing sorry,” you swallowed, “what was your question again?” you asked as you pulled all your attention back into the conversation. “I wanna know your last juicy hookup, you always pull bad bitches” She nudged your shoulder making you laugh as she said it.
“fuck, dude I am still in that fucking dry spell. I can’t even remember the last time I had sex it’s pathetic” you laughed as the sad confession came out. Billie laughed with you, slightly making fun of your situation before you kept going. “At first it wasn’t bad, I really didn’t care. I mean at first I was having fun making myself cum and not having to deal with other people’s bullshit” “HAAHAH so fucking fair” Billie interrupted you but you continued. “But now though, oh my god. Girl, in the last two weeks I cannot fucking curb this hunger. I am so horny nonstop like, I swear I get myself off and the second I catch my breath I’m horny again. It’s fucking ridiculous” you laughed out. “Like I’m starting to feel insane. I need to go get fucked cuz this horny fucking monster in my brain is not liking my rose toy or my fingers anymore” Billie laughed hard at your words, and you joined in with her.
“Get back on tinder girl, we gotta feed that nasty monster i’ve never seen you like this it’s scary” you pushed her shoulder and clicked your tongue at her dramatic response, which she of course said with a classic mischievous grin you’ve seen too often on her face. She’s always so proud of her stupid jokes.
“I just hate tinder dude. It’s always so awkward and half the time the sex is ass anyways” you paused as she nods in agreement before you kept going. “take me to one of your award shows and introduce me to some of these bad bitches you always end up going home with” you winked and she smiled again, this time a confident slightly devilish smirk showing the pride she has for all those “bad bitches” she does have many good memories with. “I do be pullin huh” you rolled your eyes and flipped her off “don’t make me jealous you idiot”
There was a short pause to the conversation, you could see Billie’s gears turning in her head before she turned to look back at you, eyebrows raised and lips turned upwards again. “I could always just fuck ya” as she said it she shrugged, so matter of fact and nonchalant with her bold statement. “eww billie shut up you weirdo you’re my best friend” “first off, how dare you say ew, bitch. Second off I'm your hot best friend so get that straight” You smiled at her with your eyebrows raised, amusement coating your face, keeping quiet to let her finish her clearly unfinished sentence. “It doesn’t have to mean anything obviously, You’re hot, I'm hot, we’re completely comfortable with each other, we love each other, even if it’s just as friends, and you’re in a messy predicament that I can easily get you out of. I mean, I got all these bad bitches moaning and cumming like crazy i’m just sayin” She grinned and giggled at the end, knowing her fuck boy statement was ridiculous.
You both went silent, laughter filling the void as you think. Billie’s own mind wandered to the thought of making you feel good, and she began to feel her own curious desire building. You couldn’t ignore the horny energy coursing through you, it was impossible to not feel. Before your brain could talk yourself out of it you move. You got yourself up and sit back down straddling her lap with a smile and half hooded eyes looking down at Billie. She gasped for a second, somewhat shocked you were actually going along with this, before she planted her hands down and grabbed a handful of your ass.
There was a moment when your eyes met and you both giggled, amused by what was unfolding, knowing you’re both going to laugh about it afterwards as if it’s just another dumb thing you do as best friends. But as that giggle faded it’s replaced with a hunger, a growing desire and increasing erotic tension. The eye contact stayed and the smiles disappeared and suddenly your lips were wrapped between each other.
It was gentle at first, timid almost, as you both let go of the brief awkwardness of making out with your best friend for the first time. But within seconds it became passionate, heated, sloppy. Her hands continued to grab and pull at your ass over your cheeky sweatshorts, before she built confidence and slipped her hands under, now feeling your hot skin against her fingertips.
When her hands pushed you tighter against her your hips grinded and the sudden sensation against your clit made you moan quietly into the kiss. Billie pulled away and looked at you, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth in her sexy smirk as she heard your moan, immediately needing to hear more of them. She grabbed your bottom and stood you both up before turning and laying you down. Now hovering over you, Billie’s hungry eyes found yours and you could see an expression you’d never seen on her before, a dominant aroused one that maked your heart stop and goosebumps erupt all across your skin.
The feeling of her plump wet lips on your neck, placing sloppy kisses on every sliver of your skin, sucking and biting occasionally, made you moan louder. You were slowly melting into her touch, into the way she was working you up more and more. The throbbing at your core became hard to ignore and you knew you were making such a mess of your underwear as she made you more and more wet.
Billie’s eager lips found your sweet spot, sucking on your skin just below your ear, and your sweet loud moan filled her living room. “Mmmm you sound so good like that baby, so sexy hearing you moan” Your hand landed on the back of her neck, pulling her closer to your skin, needing more of her, searching for anything. She sped up her pace, kissing all over your neck and collarbones before pulling you up to take off your shirt and bralette. As you landed back on the sofa your boobs moved up and down with the motion. Billie watched with wide eyes and a big smile, you knew she’s always wanted to see them, you have found her staring at them far too often.
She wasted no time, immediately pulling your nipple into her mouth and sucking before letting it go with a pop and moving onto your other boob. Her passionate and intense attack on your chest was a clear indication of her own arousal growing. This might have just been two friends helping each other out, but that doesn’t mean you both aren’t incredibly attracted to each other and currently incredibly horny for one another. The melodies of heavy breathing and sloppy kisses filled the room and made it all quite apparent.
Billie’s lips trailed down your stomach slowly. She stopped often to bite and suck on the skin beneath her, each time pulling sweet squeaks and moans from your lips. She was enamored, fully taken over by a need to satisfy you, to give you everything you’d been missing for too long. She was taking her time, winding you up and building your desire until it was so intense you might explode. She wanted you so sensitive by the time she gave you what you wanted, that it would take only seconds to bring you to the edge.
Just before she got to the waistline of your shorts she moved back up to you, causing you to let out a deep sigh. You weren’t aware of all the air you were holding in until she stopped her sloppy, intoxicating descent down your body. As her lips found your face again her hands landed on your waist. Squeezing you tightly, Billie moaned in your ear, low and sultry, and moving straight to your wet core. The sound maked your head feel dizzy, like your body was experiencing too much need and arousal and you might pass out if you didn’t get fucked soon. Her lips pulled away from yours after a deep kiss and she whispered into your ear, “Let’s move to my room, I wanna have you laid out across my bed for me”
With that she tapped the side of your butt twice and stood up. You began to follow after her, feeling eager but slightly exposed, the cold air on your naked chest coating you in goosebumps. Billie turned to look at you and was immediately mesmerized by your freed boobs swaying and jumping as you walked. When you got to her room you jumped on the bed, giggling slightly as you watched her pull off her own top and jump on with you. Her bralette was just slightly too small, leaving her huge boobs spilling out of each side and top. Billie crawled over to you, hovering above and smirking down at you. As she looked at your body laid out under her, her tongue pushed against the inside of her cheek.
“You are too much y/n. So fucking sexy its ridiculous” You blushed at her compliment and reached above you, grabbing her face with both of your hands and pulling her down to join with you again. Her lips found yours quickly, and your tongues met not long after. You both let out moans that vibrated into the kiss. Moving your hands to Billie’s back, you searched eagerly for the clasp of her bralette. As you pulled it apart and the back dropped down, Billie moved one arm at a time and finally fully freed her boobs. You gasped at the sight of her pink hard nipples and big ivory boobs lightly grazing against your own, admittedly also having been caught staring at them too many times in your friendship.
Your head lifted up as your hand grabbed her boob, guiding it between your lips. A gasp followed by a deep moan filled the room as you eagerly sucked and bit on her nipples. The sudden pleasure made Billie’s body give out slightly, landing her knee between your legs to catch herself. You moved yourself down a bit more to continue your affection on her boobs and as you did your clit grazed her knee, immediately making you gasp. Billie let out a mischievous giggle before pushing your hips down and pulling her knee up, intensifying the pressure and the pleasure right away.
She pulled her boobs away from you and you groaned, missing them in your mouth immediately. She filled the void with her lips on your neck and her hands pulled at your hips, forcing you to begin grinding against her knee. Your back arched up and as you grinded you felt the crotch of your baggy shorts slip to the side. Now, just your soaked panties laid between you and Billie’s thigh. As you continued your motion Billie felt your wetness slipping against her, causing her own panties to get soaked. The sudden evidence of your wet arousal made something snap in Billies mind, “I need to taste you, fuck you’re so wet for me” She moved down quickly, getting herself comfortable between your legs before slipping off your shorts and thong at the same time.
“Godddddd so fucking pretty” Billie moaned after loudly swallowing. Your dripping pussy clenched in front of her as reality hit that you are about to get eaten out, finally after too many long months. The sensation of Billie’s smooth wet tongue slowly slipping between your folds sent a shockwave through your body. The comforter rustled as your hands dug around, trying to grab hold, trying to ground yourself. Her tongue flattened out wide and continued licking from your leaking entrance all the way up to your clit, where she stopped briefly and added pressure. She’s too good, it was making you melt and you felt like you were floating, no longer on earth. Your head felt cloudier and cloudier as her pleasure became the only thing you could feel. Her tongue continued sloppily consuming you, slurping you up at each lick before moving up to your clit. She knew exactly what she was doing, her actions pulling you closer and closer to the edge already.
As your moans got louder and louder and the pleasure consumed you, Billie began moving her hands from around your thighs. One traveled up and landed on your boob, pinching and pulling at your nipple, turning your moans to sweet yelps and cries. You could feel her smile against your cunt as her other hand moved down to your center.
Your messy wetness allowed two of her fingers to slip inside you with ease, immediately curling them upwards and pumping in and out slowly and deliberately. She made her tongue flat and hard and pushed it up against your clit. Moving her head side to side, she could feel your swollen bud throbbing under her. The sensation of her fingers filling you perfectly and her tongue playing with your sensitive clit had you gasping. It wasn’t just that you haven’t felt this in awhile that was making things build so quickly. Billie was incredibly skilled, you were learning that quite quickly. You’ve never been eaten out so well. You’ve never been so close to cumming so quickly. It usually takes you a while and you have to focus to feel the pleasure. Not right now, not with Billie. All you could think about was pleasure, it was surrounding you, inside of you, swirling and filling the room. It was everywhere.
“Billie, right there, fuck” your words came out as pants, completely drunk off the way she was fucking you. “Oh god Billie, yessss” She hummed into you, showing how much she loved making you moan. Your walls began pulsing and clenching around her fingers and your thighs squeezed her head tighter as you were pushed closer and closer to the edge. “Mmmm you close mama, you gunna cum for me?” her sultry tone was laced with pride as she continued devouring you and watching you squirm in front of her. “Yes yes yes Billie fuck I’m gunna cum”
Just as the words left your lips Billie pulled away, a slight seductive giggle hit your ears. You gasped, completely shocked at her actions, and as you lifted your head to confront her you were met with a shit eating grin spread across her face. “awe, did I ruin your orgasm? im sorry” she sarcastically mocked you, the obnoxious smile never leaving her face. “I can’t even keep myself away for long enough to properly tease you, you taste so good, so fucking sweet baby”
her lips latched onto your clit, the warmth of her mouth against your now cold cunt sent shivers through you. You didn’t expect Billie to be treating you like this, you thought she’d give you the basic stuff and make you cum quickly to satiate the hunger in you, but now, now she’s making it grow even stronger.
It only took a few minutes of sloppy sucking and licking for your orgasm to rise again. Her fingers were moving faster and her lips were wrapped tight around ur clit, sucking and licking and sucking and licking. With your hands tangled in her hair and your legs spread as far as they could go, you pushed Billie as tight against your pussy as possible, trying hard to hold in the loud moans that we’re fighting to come out. “I’m gunna cum, I- I’m gunna cum, right there Billie” she listened close to your breathing, trying to take in all the noises you were making that were turning her on too much. As she heard your gasps becoming more and more erratic and chaotic she knew you were close again.
Within seconds her mouth was gone, placing light kisses on your inner thighs and laughing again at your groans. Her fingers were still inside of you but they were still, no longer moving in and out. She could feel the way your walls pulsed around her as she edged you out of your almost orgasm.
“Fuck, Billie, please let me cum, you’re killing me” you whined out, getting too heated and too needy now. “oh but edging you and hearing you beg is so much more fun” she paused to place another kiss on your thigh, this time so close to your pussy it made you gasp. she smiled against your skin before speaking again, “And it’ll feel sooooo much better when I finally let you cum, be patient for a little longer babygirl, it’ll be worth it.” Your stomach flipped at the nickname and your head began to feel fuzzy from the rollercoaster of pleasure she’s been making you feel.
Billie did it all over again, building you up higher and higher with her talented tongue and fingers. The room was filled with the sound of your wetness against her mouth, and your gasps and moans that you tried hard to hold it but couldn’t. You felt like you were becoming addicted to the way she was fucking you. It was better than anything you’re used to. You were beginning to realize all those stories of her making her partners cum over and over again, and the way she said she’d make them scream, none of it was exaggerated, she was just that good. You almost didn’t want to cum, didn’t want it to end. You knew you couldn’t have this again.
As the cues were showing Billie how close you were yet again, she stopped, yet again. This time, she pulled her fingers out of you, causing you to whine at the emptiness and at the feeling of your orgasm disappearing again. Your eyes opened to the sight of Billie right about you. “taste yourself babygirl, taste how delicious you are” Her fingers slid into your mouth and after a moment of swirling your tongue around her she pulled them away, replacing them with her lips. You kissed her passionately, showing your eager desire, needing her to know how fucking hungry you were after being edged too many times to count.
Your growing impatience filled your body, you felt overwhelmed by it and allowed it to fully take control. Your hand gripped her hair and you pulled her back down to where you needed her most, hard and only by her strands of black silk. She sucked in a breath and moaned at your needy and slightly dominant action before landing her lips back on your dripping pussy. She was moving faster than before, like she was a ravenous animal that’d been starved for days. When her fingers, now 3 deep, slipped back into your desperate hole, she moaned out with you, as if she was enjoying this as much as you were. Each of her movements were calculated and deliberate. She was using all her skills, all her tricks on you. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, you were being suffocated by the almost unknown pleasure she was bringing you. Her tongue parted with you for just long enough to speak, “Did so good for me love, such a good girl letting me tease you like that. Go on and cum for me, cum all over my fingers and face. Need you to make a mess of me baby” Those words mixed with the return of her tongue sent you over the edge.
You were spiraling, dizzy and overwhelmed as your body erupted into sparks of pleasure. The sensations were almost too much as you screamed out her name over and over. Billie kept going, kept fucking into you, kept licking your clit, kept your orgasm flowing through your body. You knew more was coming, you could feel it. The one thing Billie didn’t know about you was that you could squirt. She was about to learn. It took one last flick of her fingers for the gates to open. You screamed, letting it all out at once as you squirted months of built up tension onto her fingers, her face, her boobs. It was everywhere and you felt like you were no longer on Earth, gasping for air as you began your descent back down.
Your eyes finally opened to see Billie’s bold eyes and big smile, she was still between your legs, still gazing at your fucked out pussy in front of her. “holy shit y/n, that was so fucking hot. I had no idea you could squirt” She was so turned on, she couldn’t stop thinking about how hot you were, how hot it was to watch you cum all over her. Her legs squeezed together unconsciously, but you picked up on it. You knew Billie didn’t start this with the intention of you fucking her but now you needed it.
As she came bakc up towards your face she kissed you on the forehead. You were still trying to catch your breath and stop your legs from continuing to shake with the aftershocks. You looked at her with a satisfied smile and a shaky laugh that came out with each of your breaths. Her face matched yours showing off her complete enjoyment from what just played out. After wiping your cum off of her face she finally broke the silence, “so, did we do it? Are you finally satisfied?” You began to nod, the laughter still coming out each time you breathed.
You flipped yourself on top of her catching her completely off guard before speaking, “I will be once I make you cum” as soon as the words slid off your tongue your lips were backing on hers, moaning at the taste of your own cum coating her mouth.
You both knew this could only be for one night, so you might as well make it a long night.
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tthoroughfare · 2 days ago
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garden daisy (part 2) // ellie williams
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*ïœ„ă‚œïŸŸïœ„* summary: ellie makes a new friend, and you feel all weird about it.
*ïœ„ă‚œïŸŸïœ„* pairing: modern!ellie x reader
*ïœ„ă‚œïŸŸïœ„* content: sfw
*ïœ„ă‚œïŸŸïœ„* length: 1.6k
this is part two of this series! find part one here
okay so i feel like the way i've organized this series is kind of confusing as it started as a random blurb... technically part one is this blurb however the real story starts in the xmas fic! the blurb just kind of exists floating around somewhere before the events of that and sets up the dynamic. call it part 0.5 i guess. also i'm so sorry if ur name is haley it was genuinely the first name i thought of hahaha
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after christmas, once you’re all settled back into life at college, ellie gets a new job. it’s just a few shifts a week at a music store, but she seems to be enjoying it. you’re happy for her; it’s nice to see her getting out of the apartment more, doing something that allows her to be in her element.
but then she starts mentioning a girl she works with. like, a lot.
“dude, look at what haley sent me today, i was dying.”
“haley had, like, the coolest shirt on at work.”
“oh my god, so i found out haley likes comics, too.”
at first, it doesn’t really bother you. then, it’s a case of you trying not to let it bother you. why even should it? she’s allowed to make new friends; her life doesn’t revolve around you.
still, you don’t like the way your chest starts to twist every time she gets mentioned, every time you see ellie smiling at her phone. you can hear them on facetime frequently through the thin walls of your apartment, and you more often than not end up shoving your headphones in to drown it out.
they start spending time together outside of work, too. she mentions that they’re going to see an exhibit together on a shared day off, and it takes everything for you to look up from your laptop, give her a tight smile and utter, “cool.”
you can tell she’s a bit dispirited by your reaction, like she’s debating saying something. she leaves it, though, just nodding once and pursing her lips before walking away. you kick yourself for it immediately — wishing you’d tried harder to appear enthusiastic for her. you’re worried it could be the seed of a wedge being driven.
it’s not like she’s completely neglected your friendship. you live together. you see her every day. she still gently knocks at your ajar door, poking her head around and asking if you want to watch a movie with her. you make dinner together on friday nights, something you’d done since you moved out of the dorms and got a semi-decent place.
you’re just so used to it being the two of you. sure, you both have other friends, but you’re best friends. you can’t help but feel a little uneasy all of a sudden someone new is making their way up the ladder, ellie not having quite as much time for you anymore.
at least, that’s what you tell yourself the reason is. you know the real one.
you eventually meet the esteemed haley when she comes over to hang out, and to your petty dismay she well and truly lives up to the boasting. you’ve seen pictures of her (as in, you found her on instagram and stalked her at two in the morning), but she’s even prettier in person. she’s sweet, too, giving you a hug and saying how great it is to finally meet you. ellie talks about you all the time, apparently.
the evening’s spent with the tv on, a few drinks sipped. you’re on one side of the couch, ellie on the other, new friend in the middle. you hate how genuinely likeable she is; she goes out of her way to speak to you, asking you questions about yourself and chatting jovially when you find common ground. she’s cool, smart, witty — it’s impossible not to compare yourself, and feel subpar. like old news.
and you wish you weren’t, but you’re reading into every little thing. the way the two of them easily bounce off of each other’s jokes, the way you can see even where you’re from how ellie’s eyes light up when she looks at her. deciding three’s a crowd and you’re just hurting your own feelings, you call it pretty early.
when you stand after finishing your drink and announce that you’re going to bed, you note the way that ellie’s face drops. “oh
 really?”
you scrunch your nose, trying to sound untroubled. “yeah, i’m kinda tired, so
”
“m’kay,” she replies, chewing slightly at the inside of her cheek. she knows you better than that. since you first met, you’ve never been ‘kinda tired’ by nine.
after a pause and a quick look back and forth between the two of you, haley gives you a smile, reiterating her earlier statement. “well, it was so nice to meet you, anyway.”
you return it, nodding. your eyes flit to ellie for a split-second. “yeah, you too. see you both later.”
with that, you place your glass in the sink across the room and head off down the hall.
you change and get ready for bed, although the plan was never to sleep. you’re nestled under a blanket, lights dim and a candle burning as you keep your eyes trained on the bullshit stream of youtube videos you’d put on. you’re not really paying attention, mind well and truly elsewhere; simultaneously feeling sorry for yourself, and like the most petty, mean person in the world.
you feel pathetic for wishing ellie’s new friend wasn’t so easy to get along with. she came off as a nice person, and not in a sickly, fabricated way. you could understand how she’d easily tugged ellie out of her shell. a part of yourself had been secretly hoping she was irritating, or bitchy, or weird towards you — you just wanted something to latch onto, something to validate all the uncomfortable emotions that had been swirling ever since she became prominent.
but there was nothing. now all you’re left with is a weird bitterness towards a perfectly normal, sweet girl, her only crime being fetching up a childish possessiveness within you.
you don’t even understand why you’re like this over her in particular; ellie was always an introvert, but it wasn’t like she was a complete recluse. she’d had a serious girlfriend in high school, seen a couple of girls your first year of college, and you don’t remember feeling anywhere near how you are right now. you just guessed you didn’t have as much understanding of how you looked at her back then, combined with the domesticity of now having your own real place luring you into a warped way of thinking.
you hear haley leave around an hour and a half after you’d taken yourself to bed, followed by ellie shuffling around the kitchen space. the tap runs and there are a few clinks as she washes then places the three glasses to dry, hitting the lights off. her room’s further down the hall from yours, and she hesitates as she’s making her way there.
a few light taps sound from the other side of the door. “you asleep?”
“
 no,” you call out softly, watching as it cracks open and ellie picks her way in. wordlessly, she plops herself onto the bed next to you, arm behind her head. you shift away a little, offering her more room.
“what’re you watching?”
“uh
” grabbing the remote, you pause the video for a beat so the title shows. you’re not even sure; you’d just selected the first you saw, then let the rest autoplay. “
 ‘six most disturbing forest encounters caught on camera’.”
she chuckles. “spooky.”
“eh
 they’re all fake.” you look up at her, smiling a little.
“could’ve fooled me.”
“i’m sure,” you laugh lightly, feeling the need to turn away when she goes to meet your eyes.
it’s quiet for a while, but you can sense she wants to say something. it’s not like one of the times she waltzes into your room simply to hang out, sit at the side of one another peacefully.
“you okay?” she eventually asks gently, turning her head to regard you. you don’t meet it.
“yeah, i’m fine.”
“you sure? ‘cause
 i don’t know. you seem a little
”
“i’m all good.” glancing up, you offer an unconvincing, flickery smile. “don’t worry.”
“
 okay.”
you can tell it offers no comfort, but she doesn’t push it. just settles further into the bed, scratching at her chin.
her eyes dart from the tv screen to the wall, then back to you. “haley’s cool, right? guessed you guys would get along.”
“yeah, she seems nice.”
she’s really not being subtle; but then again, neither are you. you’d been perfectly friendly while you were all together, but the way you’d disappeared coupled with your increasingly half-hearted responses whenever she was brought up pointed elsewhere.
“seriously, what’s up?” she turns onto her side to face you, resting her head on her arm. “i don’t like this.”
you roll your eyes, sighing as you turn, mirroring her. “it’s stupid.”
“what’s stupid?”
your mind flashes with a million ways you can get an overview of your feelings out, without having to tell her the root cause. “i don’t know, i’m just
 like, used to it being
 y’know, me and you.”
she pulls a face, letting out a fond scoff and furrowing her brow. “what do you mean?”
a tiny groan sounds from your throat, fingertips rubbing at your eye. “i’m just being stupid. fuckin’ embarrassing.”
laughing quietly again, she narrows her eyes a little. “what, are you, like
 jealous?”
“no, i just
 i don’t know. ignore me.” you’re trying to ignore the way you can feel your cheeks heat up when she says that word. you’d known all along that’s what you were, but being confronted with it is a whole other sensation entirely.
she doesn’t say anything for a moment, just keeps a small smirk on her face and looks down. “that is stupid.”
“right. thanks.”
“no, like
” subconsciously shuffling closer, her leg brushes yours. she quickly moves it. “dude, i can have other friends, but no-one’s gonna be you.”
you blink, thrown by her sincerity. you’d half-expected her to poke a little fun, call you a dumbass. she continues, your eyes meeting hers as she settles her head into the palm of her hand. “you’re always gonna be my best friend.”
yeah, i know, you think. that’s the problem.
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thewizardingpost · 3 days ago
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soulmates...?
poly!marauders x fem!reader
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summary ⌇ findng out that you “belong with” the infamous marauders, you run and hide. But in good ole fashioned fate, they find you like they’re supposed to.  warnings ⌇2.9k, soulmate au, strangers to friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst w/ happy ending, hinted ravenclaw!reader (but not directly said), divorce hinted at (R’s dad cheated), minor injuries (r receiving, mention of some blood), this is my fic (I just got a new account)
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At the age of ten you learned about soulmates when three symbols appeared on the inside of your writer. It happened on your birthday, the sight of it scared you and you tried to rub it off until your mom intervened. She had explained to you then–that the three symbols on your arm would fill in with color whenever you were near them. Then you had gagged and waved your mother off, but after a few years you had begun to yearn for it. 
After getting admitted to Hogwarts, your friend from back home found hers after just sitting at the dining table after being sorted. She was ecstatic explaining it to you, and that event is what started your desire to know the three people you were ‘destined’ to be with. 
Classes had started, and still no luck. A year had gone by, and still nothing. Over the summer your mother had consoled you, telling you it'll take time and that it's usually rare to find out so long. With your hands in hers, sitting on the couch, you asked her a question that would change your perspective on the entire thing. You asked if dad was her soulmate, and she responded with a heartbreaking no. Her ‘soulmate’ had cheated on her. 
It changed you. To know that someone was supposed to be your forever could do such a thing, leave your mom broken and alone like that was terrifying, angering. You stopped checking your wrist often. You stopped checking other’s wrists to see if it matched yours. You stopped caring. 
Years passed and you were now a Fifth Year at Hogwarts. And about to be late for your first potions class of the semester. There was barely any time left so when you arrived you threw yourself at the first open seat you could find. The air was run out of you, making you breathe heavily. You already caused a scene running in, you had nothing else to lose by breathing loudly. 
“Sleep in?”
       Your eyes flitted to the person beside you, “Possibly.”
“Oh I think the answer is ‘definitely’,” he grins, “I should know, I do it often.”
Seeing how you were still looking down at the table, moving items around–you noticed in your peripheral how he angled his body so he could see your face. 
“Gonna tell me your name or shall I give you one?”
      “Why?”
“You’ve been to Hogwarts, haven’t you? Seeing as we’re sitting together, we’re going to be lab partners.”
And that’s how you first met Sirius–sitting in the back of your potions class. At first it had felt suffocating, but now you couldn’t deny the way he made you laugh. Over time you found yourself enjoying his presence, even accepting his invites to study outside of class. 
He told you to meet him at the library, but he never said where. You scanned the tables first before you wandered down the book isles, scanning each row until you found him on some random aisle in the charms section. 
“Sirius,” you whispered, tone harsh as to grab his attention, “I’ve been looking for you, I–” 
      “Shh, dollface. Can’t you see I'm reading?”
You brush off the nickname, “you never read, Sirius.” 
       “Excuse you, I absolutely do. Only if it involves something I’m interested in.” 
You move to see the title of the book, “jinxes?”
       “Only trying to spice life up a bit.”
You sighed, “we really must finish this assignment, I’d hate to get a bad grade already so early on in the school year.” 
When he didn’t budge, you sighed dramatically to pull him out of whatever trance the book seemed to have him in. He trailed behind you, mumbling something about having to tell someone about what he just read later. A few minutes later you found some seating in one of the aisles, the row having only three seats. With the one on the end taken, it forced the two of you to be pushed closer together on the inside. 
“I didn’t bring my notebook because my friend’s using it and I assume you don’t have yours,” you mumbled while you flipped through the pages of some old book, “so we’ll have to use this to understand the potion for the assignment. It’s pretty detailed so maybe we can both read it and discuss what we took away after. We have to have this information ready–Sirius, I feel like you’re not listening.”
        “Good observation, gorgeous–I’m not. This is a complete snore-fest.”
“This ‘snore-fest’ is 25% of your grade,” you whispered with a smile, moving the book closer to him, “so read. Please. If not for yourself, please do it for me.”
He reluctantly did so, moving his eyes off of you and onto the length paragraphs inside the book. Every now and then he would make a reluctant sound. Sometimes his leg would jitter too much, and hit the leg to your chair. You paid it no mind, and for some reason you enjoyed it–a smile on your face as you read another copy of the book. 
“Sirius, why’re you in the library? And reading as well, are you alright?”
You watched Sirius angle himself out of the corner of your eye towards what seemed to be another Fifth Year–just with shorter, brown hair. 
“Oh fuck off, it’s for an assignment.”
       “I’ve never seen you read for an assignment.” 
“I’ve already been attacked by this lass, I don’t need anymore from you.”
       “And who is this lass?”
And that’s when you meet James. It was a quick hello, but for some reason after that moment he would pop up everywhere. In the hallway, out in Hogsmeade, across the way while sitting at the dining tables in the great hall. It’s only been short smiles and waves until you bumped into him 
outside the Quidditch arena. He called out your name, wondering to you in his get-up. 
“James,” you breathed, “you play quidditch?” 
        “Yeah, just finished a game now. We won,” he smiled wide, leaning on his broom, “I take it you don’t care much for sports?”
“Sorry, no–but that’s wonderful. And what position do you play?”
        “Seeker.” 
You hummed, “well maybe I’ll come watch you sometime.” 
If it was possible, it looked like his smile grew. He reached back to pull someone from the crowd, “this is Remus. He comes to my games often. If you’d like someone to sit with so you’re not alone, he’s here.”
You smile at him, “alright, thank you.” 
And that’s how you meet Remus, unknowingly meeting all three of your soulmates within the span of a week. For whatever reason you never checked your wrist. You left your sleeve to cover the area, keeping the markings hidden from your sight. Unbeknownst to you, throughout the next few weeks you would be unaware of how each marking would fill in with color. With Sirius, there was a small dog head that filled with black whenever you were near him. James had a stag that filled with brown, and Remus had a wolf that filled with gray. All three imprints were small, huddled in close together on the underside of your wrist–just barely reaching over an inch in size. Through all the time you spent–going to the Three Broomsticks, attending their Quidditch games, and even sometimes encouraging a jinx on some rotten teacher. You would consider yourself friends–but the tinted markings on your wrist suggested otherwise. 
“Darling,” James called to you, “are you sure this is where you went?”
           “Yes,” you answered, stepping over an enlarged root, “I’m sure.”
“Just say you don’t trust her,” Sirius quips. 
         “I do, I just feel like we’ve passed by that stump over there before.”
You were leading the three of them into the forbidden forest after stating that just earlier on your walk to Hogsmeade you saw the mushrooms they were looking for in their potions recipe. They practically begged you, mainly Sirius, to be able to find such an ingredient after being banned from the ingredient cabinet in the classroom downstairs. You were sure the mushrooms were just on this corner, sitting just outside of the forest–but somehow you found yourself wandering through the shrubbery with the boys in tow. Everyone was confused. 
“Dove,” Remus started, moving closer to talk privately to you, “if you’re feeling a little fuzzy on where it's located, it’s okay to turn back around and re-evaluate. We are getting quite deep into the forest now.” 
       You stop, looking directly at him, “I swear it was here. The area is all the same basically. I’m sorry, I didn’t know I’d be leading everyone into nowhere.”
“No one’s upset. I had only brought it up because it’s getting dark outside. Might be best to head back and look tomorrow, we’re in no rush.”
           “Thank you,” you smiled, “I’ll make sure you all are able to complete that prank, promise. It just won’t be tonight.”
“I agree with heading back, I’ve heard that students get lost in the woods past dark,” Sirius said, arms resting on his hips. 
          James looks at him with a weird expression, “where’d you hear that?”
“Why I overheard some professors discussing it. Some couple came out here to make out and didn’t return.” 
           “I say we hurry back then so we don’t face their wrath,” James whispered, already taking the first step forward.
The forest had an earthy smell that got stronger when the moon started to arise as the forest began to cool. It was quite cold, the wind rushing through the swaying trees causing goosebumps to appear on your skin. James and Sirius were ahead this time, deep in discussion while you and Remus talked in the back. 
Two minutes into the walk–that was just starting to feel peaceful–a galloping sound was heard somewhere in the woods. You had enough time to look back when you felt the ground under you rumble, but none when a centaur came barreling through. One then another, then another appeared. They pushed through the area, not caring or not seeing the four of you standing there. 
Sirius moves from where he was leaning on a tree for protection, almost cheering, “that was fantastic.”
You wince from your place on the ground, trying to pick yourself up from where you had been knocked over. Behind you heard someone curse and another coming to help lift you up, “are you alright?”
        “I’m fine, just a few scratches is all,” you said, brushing the leaves and dirt off of your clothes, “is anyone hurt?”
You look around while James shushes you, “we’re fine, sweetheart. Just worried about you is all, looked like you fell pretty hard.”
       “Like I said I’m fine, especially after the fact I just saw a centaur.”
Your statement brought up a conversation, one that lasted until you all were back inside Hogwarts. Throughout the walk you were gripping your wrist, more specifically your shirt. During your fall, your wrist had snagged on something–tearing your shirt and the skin underneath. When you went to stand, you caught a glimpse of the cut–and the pigmented marks on your wrist. 
BORDER
You started to avoid them after that night. First it was pretty subtle, you had done a good job of convincing them and yourself that you weren’t removing yourself. You smiled their way, talked to them, but you declined offers to hangout. 
Just now they had invited you to join them on a walk over to Hogsmede because Remus wanted to get a new book–and you turned them down, saying you had elsewhere to be. 
“I don’t remember her being this busy,” Remus stated.
         “There’s no way she’s ignoring us,” Sirius conveyed, looking at the two of them nervously. 
That remark spiraled them. When you started to pull away more, they were sure their suspicions were true. You rushed past them, even said you were busy when on the map it showed that you were in your dorm room. 
You were ignoring the life-changing news that you found out last week, which translated into ignoring them and trying to keep busy to avoid accepting the truth–to avoid the confrontation of spilling the truth. That you were their soulmate. 
It broke you to find out because you didn’t want your time with them to end. Didn’t want the news of a soulmate to tear you four apart like it did with your mom and dad. To willingly remove yourself from three people who changed your life from the better was heart-wrenching. In some sick way, your mind tried to convince you it was better this way. They’d leave you like how your dad left your mom. Four people together? It’ll never work. Plus they seemed happier just the three of them. 
Today was Friday, a day you usually spent with them in Hogsmeade–but today you walked those streets by yourself. You had started to read a book at the library before deciding halfway through that you needed to buy it, the reason why you were in Hogsmeade. And just outside when you stepped back into the cold air, you ran chest-to-chest with Remus. 
“Gonna run away like you always do,” Sirius remarked, face cold, indifferent. He didn’t seem to care much when it made your face drop further than it already had, “it’s alright, you can leave–we understand. We know how highly you think of yourself now.” 
        “I don’t think that at all–” you start before stopping, looking at the others walking by on the street, “can we talk. Please.”
“So now you want to talk? That’s fucking rich. After all the times you’ve run away when we tried to talk to you, we have every right to leave you right here.”
         “You’re right, I don't,” you said, pushing down on the sadness that was already beginning to crawl up your throat. You tuned, but didn’t get far when a hand grabbed your wrist. 
“We’d love to talk to you,” Remus professes, “just after we move somewhere quieter.”
He guided you, moving towards a more secluded area by the river that ran through the small city. You were far enough from the crowds, but you all could hear the faint sounds of the street performer in the back. 
“So,” Sirius probes, “why have you been acting like we don’t exist?”
          “It’s not you, it’s me. Only recently my mom disclosed some information about my dad and why he left. It ruined my perspective on soulmates, made me believe they were all a hoax because why would you be destined with someone who’d do that to you? So I got scared when I found out I was yours. I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I thought surely it wouldn't work between us. Four people? How uncommon is that? Instead of giving it a chance or even communicating this to you–I ran away, and I shouldn't have. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“To be honest I thought we all knew we were soulmates. I check mine often. When the third little design on my wrist glowed whenever you were around, I knew it was you and I told the others,” Remus added, “But we all should’ve communicated that. That’s on all of us.” 
Seeing the tears turn your eyes shiny Sirius sighs, moving forward to pull you into a hug, “why’re you crying, dollface? Sad that you got three attractive men as your forever partners.”
     Feeling his arms around you, the scent of him invading your senses makes the tears start to flow, “I just don’t want you to leave me.”
“We’re not leaving, not ever,” James proposed as he and Remus moved close to wrap their arms around the two of you. 
BORDER
You laughed at the feeling of James’ lips tickling your neck.
“Missed you a lot, sweetheart,” he mumbled into the skin, pulling himself closer, “one summer’s too long without you.”
The train’s cushions were comfortable, but they were barely enough to hold you and James–so when Sirius moved onto the seat, you were pushed up against the wall. He had expressed his excitement walking into the cabin, tossing his suitcase onto the other seat before wrapping himself around James’ back. 
“Fucking hell I’ve missed you.” 
He placed a kiss onto yours and Jame’s cheek before moving onto the other cushion, giving space for when Remus arrived. There was joy and excitement held in each other’s hearts, knowing you all got to see each other again after months of waiting. It was torture, and the letters did nothing. Remus was last, moving into the cart with a relaxed smile. Sirius had held out his hand, pulling him onto the seat so they could greet one another. 
“Mm, missed you loads,” Remus whispered, smiling against Sirius and looking over when he heard you laugh. 
You were continuing to try and move James away, trying to stop his attack on your neck. You were trying to spew words between your gasps and laughter, trying to move him off but the sounds of you laughing were too contagious.
“James, give the girl a rest. She looks like she’s going to implode.”
            “Fine fine,” he said, moving away, “oh hey Remus.” He says noticing the way he had opened the sliding door, eyeing everyone with a warmth in his expression. 
“Hi Prongs.”
You greeted him after, feeling yourself grow warm when you feel him press a kiss to your cheek. The both of you leaned back into the seat after, James wrapping an arm around you, “ready for another year at Hogwarts?”
       “Absolutely.” 
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theragamuffininitiative · 3 days ago
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Hi I have opened a can of research worms, which is something I do for fun and then often regret! 😃 Nothing is ever as simple as we want it to be. I am NOT an expert on any of this. Just being the "huh I'll look that up" person that I am, I went and started looking stuff up:
First, a very brief note about pesticide/herbicide use in US foods vs other countries. Not going to go with any particular links here bc this issue is so huge, and is the macroscopic version of the questions asked here. A cursory Google search returns this right off the bat - while not a surefire burden of proof, I love me a string of .gov, .edu, and .org websites all agreeing with each other:
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Anyways, it is a very demonstrable fact that the US uses a list of chemicals other places have banned. Usually this has nothing to do with allergies and a lot to do with how those chemicals are carcinogenic (or might be, more on that later).🙃🙃🙃 Yay America.
Ok. More on the "is something right or wrong with American wheat" subject:
Kansas Wheat Comission + Kansas Association of Wheat Growers site talking about the major wheat varieties grown specifically in Kansas. Note how they keep saying the majority crops are hard wheat with high protein and gluten strength. This is just talking about Kansas but as Kansas is the highest wheat producing state, it seems to be a pretty good example of the broader picture.
To @emeraldchase's theory, I think it's important to point out the breeding of specific wheat varieties that do have stronger gluten content was not necessarily about the increase of gluten in the wheat but the increase of all proteins in the wheat, of which gluten is only one compound. The two just happen to be inextricably linked. And gluten, for all it gets a bad reputation, is what gives many baked goods their specific body, texture, etc. Additionally, hard wheats (higher gluten content) tend to actually be MORE expensive, as opposed to soft wheats (lower gluten content) due to requiring more nitrogen-rich soil. So. Gonna set that point aside without additional details.
What Kansas is to America, France is to to the EU. (You will probably never see that analogy anywhere else.) France's wheat yield is having a rough time, so sorting past recent articles about poor crop returns made finding links way too difficult but: more than half of France's wheat crop is used domestically, both for animal feed and human consumption. The very vast majority of French wheat is soft wheat.
Italy is not the EU's highest grossing wheat supplier, but it's the one I ended up reading about first so have this info too: Turns out most hard wheat used in Italian pastas and some breads is a type of durum wheat called grano duro, and it is not imported; it is grown in Italy (aka free from American agricultural practices. Common wheat, or grano tenero, is uh...also mostly locally grown in Italy, from the other side of Italy, and makes up the majority of their wheat crop and exports. This is the soft, weak gluten type.
Remember how the Kansas wheat is primarily hard wheat? Both France and Italy primarily grow soft wheat. The majority of American wheat does have higher gluten content than European. Have fun looking up the wheat growing practices of the other countries and states, I got lost down seven rabbit holes before coming up for air.
While both the US and Europe tend to export/import much of their crop yield, the majority of wheat sold to citizens in the US is domestic, and the majority of the wheat sold in Europe to citizens is grown in Europe.
So what about visiting Europe and being able to eat gluten? Potentially due to the softer wheat used, but not all of it is soft wheat, particularly in breads. It could be related to the widespread use of fermentation in Europe. It could be that you're on vacation and eating fancier, more controlled portions, with lower stress. It could be the heirloom / organic foods and less processed foods in general. If you are gluten sensitive and want to test it at risk of ruining your vacation, have at it! If you are celiac, please do not try European gluten at risk to your health and safety.
Ok so what about Glyphosate:
An independent scientific article from 2013 talking about the chemical, with charts about increased usage, links to disease including celiac, and adverse affects on gut bacteria as outlined by the user above. (This paper seems to be the one most people refer to. It is important to note this is one article, and that they are basing their conclusion on reactions in fish. It is incredibly interesting, but not conclusive.)
Wheat grown using our good ole pal Glyphosate is NOT currently banned in the EU, as the allowance of its use was extended back in 2023 for at least another decade. While there is a related carcinogenic risk with Glyphosate based compounds under certain conditions, it is inconclusive that Glyphosate itself is harmful - thus the not banning. (Partial bans exist in some countries within the EU.)
Here is a cursory overview about the herbicide, addressing the gluten issue but leaning toward the other very bad health outcomes which are beginning to be linked to the high usage of glyphosate. (Note, this is a dietician website and they say they are not moved by fads, which is very funny coming from a field that is constantly changing according to fads but hey.)
So now you're thinking "ah! We have higher gluten wheat and flour, AND we use these herbicides. Clearly this accounts for Americans having higher rates of celiac disease." Unfortunately for my time spent researching this to come to that triumphant conclusion ... it.. isn't true. America simply does not have a higher number of diagnosed celiac disease than other nations. So. A higher gluten content in American wheat, although not nice for the gluten-sensitive, does not appear to be causing the problem. Neither do the nasty chemicals, actually. Maybe we're just diagnosing it more than we used to. Idk man.
It seems it can much more truthfully be stated that celiac/gluten allergies can potentially be linked to human genetics, and to modern wheats in general, so that heirloom organic varieties are better. Not necessarily bc of the herbicide used, but yeah sure maybe. However. That herbicide can still poison you or give you cancer, so the high amounts if it in our food should still be concerning and I'm all for banning its use anyways.
To op's question, "How do we fix what's making people's bodies not tolerate wheat"..... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ < scientific conclusion from multiple sources.
TLDR; Most nations have similar rates of celiac diagnoses. Glyphosate may or may not contribute to celiac development, but it may also cause cancer. Heirloom and organic wheat varieties (plus other grains and foods in general) are maybe less likely to be linked to celiac disease (and cancer and many other issues) or to aggravate it due to their protection from modern herbicides and pesticides, and from not being bred to increase protein (and gluten) content. Possibly.
Personally I think the medical profession should stop asking "what normal God-made nutritious foods that have been staples of the human diet for 5,000+ years do people need to completely cut out of their diet to be healthy" and start asking "how do we fix what's making people's body not tolerate wheat"
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bapeach · 2 days ago
Text
My nerd
I'm still new to writing so if this is bad then I'm sorry, lol. English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for any possible grammar mistakes :). Let me know what you guys think!
Pairing(s): Nika MĂŒhl x female!reader Word count: 2.3k+ Summary: Turns out the intimidating giant is actually a big nerd. Something Nika will never let Y/N forget. ------------
When you first got to Uconn, everyone was pretty intimidated by you. Not entirely surprising, you supposed. Even in a gym full of basketball players, you rose above them, standing at a whopping 6'7". It didn't help that you had dark eyes that seemed to always peer into the soul of the person you were looking at. Nor did it help that both of your arms were fully tatted up and that you had a resting frown on your face. You couldn't help it, your face always looked like you were trying to solve a hard math question or trying to figure out everyone's biggest secret. You didn't exactly mind being intimidating though, often standing with your arms crossed, slightly flexing your muscles. And God did you have muscles. When Paige first saw you, the first thing going through her mind was how you could easily snap her in two.
To everyone's surprise you weren't that scary once they got to know you. Sure, you still had the ability to make anyone shut up with a single well-aimed look that seemed to say “knock it off”. And yeah, you were still able to halt everyone's conversation, eyes focused only on you, when you had something important to say. But the team also got to know the real you. When needed, you could match KK's high energy, being able to hype up the entire team with a few witty jokes, cocky smirks, and well-timed speeches. The team needed a calmer presence? Then there you were, matching Azzi's comforting calmness, being a rock to lean on and a shoulder to cry on. 
The team knew you almost inside and out, just like you knew all of them. From KK's favorite ice cream flavor to Nika's favorite Croatian show. You guys didn't feel the need to keep secrets. You suppose that's why you all work so well together, both on the court and off. Except the team didn't fully know you, did they? 
You were known for your fierce protectiveness of the team, always ready to defend them, no matter what. You exuded an intense aura that scared off anyone trying to mess with you or your family and friends. But below all of that
? You were a nerd. 
You know there's nothing wrong with being a nerd, but still, you prefer to be known for your strength and resilience. So no, the team doesn't know you can solve a Rubik's cube with your eyes closed (It's not that hard once you know the patterns, you swear), they don't know you like playing chess (What? It's calming...) or that you're secretly a huge sci-fi fan (C'mon, Star Wars and Doctor Who are classics!). Hell, they didn't even know you wore glasses... 
You knew there was nothing wrong with glasses either, you personally even found them quite attractive on other people, but you chose to only wear them in the comfort of your own dorm. You were lucky to have scored a single dorm, not having to deal with any annoying roommates doing god knows what. The team hadn't even seen the inside of the apartment, all of you always hanging out in one of the bigger dorms, having to be able to comfortably fit an entire basketball team in there. Some teammates had caught small glimpses into the living area of your home away from home, but there wasn't much to note about it. It was your room that had all your geek stuff. 
An entire wall lined with books, ranging from the classics to the newest YA sapphic novels. Your  Rubik’s cubes in different shapes and sizes scattered amongst them. A couple of Lego sets standing proudly on the few available surfaces. And amidst it, there you were, sitting on your bed at 2 AM, wearing an old Doctor Who shirt, glasses perched on your nose as you watched your favorite doctor on his latest adventure. The Hedwig the owl plushie that you got as a birthday present years ago (which you swore you only still kept to keep your mom happy) sitting next to you, tucked in but still in view of the screen (she wanted to watch as well, okay?). 
When the team had suggested going to a bar after an intense practice, you’d hesitated. On one hand you wanted to go. You weren’t really the party and drinking type, but you always felt better knowing you were with the girls, being able to keep an eye on them. On the other hand your bones felt heavy from practice and your bed was calling your name. Declining their invitation, you figured you wouldn’t be hearing from the girls until late the next day, having them complain about being hungover in the group chat. Turns out you were wrong.
Hearing a knock on your door, you paused your show, listening intently to see if you were just imagining things. Hearing another knock and loud giggles outside, followed by someone shushing, you walked over to your door. Not paying any mind to what you were wearing, you opened the door, confusion clear on your face as well as worry. Because the only people who’d be knocking on your door in the middle of the night would be the girls, and that meant they needed something that couldn’t wait until the morning.
Looking down slightly, you see an apologetic-looking Azzi holding a giggling Nika under one arm while trying to make sure Paige (who was mumbling some type of nonsense about flying snakes playing basketball?) didn’t fall over beside her. “Hey, I’m really sorry to be knocking on your door, Y/N, but these two idiots-” ”HEY!” “-decided to drink too much, and I can’t handle both of them, especially not together.” Azzi apologizes, sending Paige a stern look when she interrupts her. Azzi looks at you, guilt clear in her eyes, knowing that you’re gonna be dealing with a drunk Nika who will undoubtedly tease the hell out of you once she realizes what you’re wearing. 
Nika, who only just seems to have realized she’s standing in front of your door (the girl she might or might not have a huge tiny crush on), grins widely, slipping out from underneath Azzi’s arm, right into yours. Squeezing the taller girl tightly, she mumbles (though it feels more like a shout in your ear), “Hey Y/N/N!”. Wincing slightly at the loudness, you hold Nika in your arms, mumbling a “Hi” before focusing back on Azzi. “Don’t worry about it, Azz, I’ve got her.” you say smiling at her, trying to make sure she knows you’re not upset. “Have a good night and good luck with
” you trail off, looking at Paige in confusion as she stumbles away from Azzi to go talk to the wall about
 crocodiles riding skateboards? You give the sober girl one last grin before sending both of them a wave and pulling Nika into your dorm.
Looking down at her, you shake your head slightly. This is gonna be a challenge. Drunk Nika means a lot of cockiness, a lot of teasing, and a lot of flirting
 “C’mon, Niks, let’s get you ready for bed.” you say softly, hoping your calming tone will make the Croatian girl relax and comply. Grabbing hold of her hand, you turn to your bedroom, but she doesn’t let you get very far. “Nooo,” she grumbles, her accent coming out slightly as she slurs her words. Pulling you into another hug with a bit more force than expected, she falls right into you, “I missed you tonight.”. 
You hold the shorter girl closer to your chest, knowing things will go easier if you just follow along with what she’s doing. (And okay, maybe you’d missed her too, but how could you not? Nika was smart, funny, fearless, kind, extremely beautiful, and exactly your type. Not that any of that mattered. You were pretty sure she was straight. Sure, she flirted with you and complimented you all the time, but that’s just the kind of friend she is.). Putting your face into the crook of her neck, you can’t help inhaling her scent. She smells like alcohol and sweat from dancing, but there’s also a hint of something else. A scent that’s unique to her. It’s soft and comforting, and it makes you wish you could just hold her close to you forever.
“I missed you too,” you say, pulling back and giving her a kiss on the forehead, “let’s go to my room now, yeah?”. You walk into your bedroom, guiding Nika’s hips as you push her to your bed, before going to close your door. “Wait
 are you wearing glasses?” she says, looking at you in shock. You grin at her, shaking your head at how cute she looks. (How did it take her this long to notice?). “Shuddup” you say with a tiny smirk on your face as you walk back over. “No no, you look really hot.” she says leaning in a bit closer to look at your properly. “Like a hot nerd.” she starts laughing to herself. You playfully roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. The movement immediately catches Nika’s eye, her laugh coming to a stop as she stares at your muscular arms. Your smirk grows, seeing the way the brunette can’t stop gawking at you. (And okay, maybe you flexed your muscles a bit more, liking the way she was looking at you, but you were allowed to have a bit of fun, weren’t you?).
As Nika’s eyes roam your figure, her eyes drop to the shirt you’re wearing. “Wait, what are you wearing?” she questioned, her eyes wide as a grin starts forming on her face. Damn it, here we go. Moving towards your closet, you ask, “What do you wanna sleep in? Shorts? Sweats? Do you want a hoodie or just a shirt?”, hoping she’ll be drunk enough to have a shortened attention span. Your wishes, however, don’t get answered. “Oh my god
” she gasps, making you turn around, slightly alarmed at her sudden outburst. “You’re a nerd!” she exclaimed, looking around and seeing all your geeky knick-knacks. 
When Azzi came knocking on your door with a drunk Nika under her arm, you happily took the wasted girl in. Now though? Now you were thinking of all the ways Azzi could make it up to you. 
You throw the smirking girl a pair of shorts and a shirt, successfully managing to have them hit her right in the face. You walk over to her, ready to help her get changed. “You tell anyone about this, MĂŒhl, and you’re dead.” you reply, knowing you’ll be teased relentlessly next practice, Nika not being able to keep something like this quiet. “All this time everyone has seen you as this tough, badass woman,” the brunette starts, her voice sounding muffled as you help her pull off her shirt, “but you’re actually just a dork!”. You can’t find it in yourself to feel annoyed at her teasing. After all, this was Nika, your crush best friend, the girl that could do no harm in your eyes. 
She continues on rambling as you finish getting her ready for bed. Giggling to herself, the still very tipsy girl plops down on your bed, grabbing hold of your Hedwig plush, wiggling it in your face. You sigh softly with a small smile. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you?” you laugh. “Nope.” she giggled. “But for what it’s worth
 it’s pretty cute
 you’re pretty cute.” she mumbles, looking down as a blush forms on her cheeks.
“Yeah?” you muttered, taking a step closer to her, moving a piece of hair behind her ear. “Yeah.” she replies, looking back up into your eyes. While you and Nika flirt with each other all the time, this time feels different. More real. 
You notice how her eyes flicker down to your lips, and for a second you let yourself daydream about how it would feel to press your lips against hers. When the shorter girl leans in, you take a small step back, feeling your heart break a little as a frown forms on her face. “We can’t, Niks” you whisper, taking a step closer again as you grab her hand and give it a light squeeze. “Why not?” she pouts. “Because you’re drunk, and I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.” you answer with a small smile, hoping to soothe her. “I wouldn’t regret it!” she shakes her head with her brows furrowed, “I’ve liked you for ages now, but you’re such an oblivious idiot sometimes!”. 
You open your mouth to reply but close it again, thinking back on your whole friendship with the girl. Maybe all that flirting wasn’t just a joke
 Okay yeah, maybe you were an idiot. You grab her face between your hands, leaning in a little to kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry.” you mutter, lips still pressed against the Croatian’s skin. You pull back slightly, seeing her start smiling again, cheeks a beautiful rose color. “Tomorrow,” you promise her, “if you still want this tomorrow, then I swear I will take you on the best date of your life.”. She smiles a big, toothy grin, “Deal Y/L.” You grin back, pulling her over to your bed, already thinking about where you’re gonna be taking her. 
As you both lay face to face, you can’t help but admire her. Her long, beautiful lashes, her pink lips, her cute nose
 You think you might be the luckiest girl in the world. 
Nika sighs contently, closing her eyes as she slides one hand over to hold yours while the other slides underneath the pillow. She furrows her brows, opening her eyes again as her hand touches paper. Grabbing the item from underneath the pillow, she lets out a loud laugh. A sudoku. “God, you’re a nerd,” she says with a wide grin. You let out a little laugh, looking at her sheepishly. “but you’re my nerd.” she finishes with a twinkle in her eyes.
Maybe you should thank Azzi for tonight after all.
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yanderenightmare · 2 days ago
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this might be a stupid question but what are the rules of omegaverse? or like idk how to phrase it but what's the set up?
On Omegaverse
Not a stupid question! In fact, a really good question because the answer is anything but straightforward!
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♡ Consensus still pending...
There aren't really any set rules in the Omegaverse, which is why, when reading an Omegaverse fic, there will often be a paragraph or two at the beginning of the story explaining the setting, rules, culture, and dynamics specific to that Omegaverse alone.
Even so, I'll try to explain the overall concept, as well as divulge some of the common tropes different writers use.
And so, first off! Plainly put, the Omegaverse is an alternate universe in which human beings can have an additional gender, referred to as the second gender—most commonly but not restricted to Alpha, Beta, and Omega. Across different Omegaverses, these second genders act as defining factors, often deciding social rank as well as playing a part in determining other physical, physiological, and psychological attributes of a character.
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♡ Alpha, Beta, Omega, Whatnow?
Alpha, Beta, and Omega are ranks typically used within the hierarchy of a wolf pack. The general idea is that Alphas are the pack's leaders, with Betas as their second in command, while Omegas exist at the bottom as the lowest-ranking members.
I want to note really quickly that this view of wild wolves is an old conception and has since been criticized and debunked—something I'll write more in length near the bottom of the post.
But anyway, regarding the Omegaverse, this is still the general dynamic, wherein the Alpha, Beta, and Omega titles aren't only used to identify rank but exist as actual bodily differences as well—referred to as second genders.
And, while Alpha, Beta, and Omega are the token types in most Omegaverse settings, they aren't standardized. For example, Betas can sometimes be ruled out entirely to focus purely on Alpha x Omega pairings—while other writers might add even more types into the mix, such as Delta, Gamma, Sigma, etc...
There aren't any rules to this.
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♡ Werewolves or nah?
Since the ranking system was originally taken from the wolf hierarchy, it's natural to think that the Omegaverse has to have something to do with werewolves, hybrids, or some other type of bestiality.
The answer to this is both yes and no.
In some Omegaverses, it's true that characters will be some or other version of werewolves. Hybrids with tails, fluffy ears, claws, etc—or shapeshifters who can fully transform themselves into four-legged canines—or any other type of werewolf you can think of.
This is all a creator's choice and up to them to implement or not!
As for other Omegaverses, characters will be described as regular human beings but with added instincts and characteristics in line with what second gender they have: Alpha, Beta, Omega, etc... Here, the whole wolf aspect of things isn't highlighted, though might still be used somewhat metaphorically.
There are no rules to this either. Only options.
Additionally, not all Omegaverse hybrids need to take after wolves alone. The range can be broadened to include any type of dog breed—Huskies, Labradors, Chihuahuas, etc. Here, apart from physical attributes, what type of dog a character is can also play a part in what type of personality they have. For example, Huskies are diligent characters, Labradors are fun-loving and playful, while Chihuahuas are uncharacteristically combative for their size.
I've even come across some writers whose Omegaverse includes any and all types of hybrids, having Alpha horses, Beta oxen, and Omega bunnies. However, I'd say this is less common and will more likely be referred to as hybrid au or something of the like.
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♡ Characteristics!
Though there are no rules, there are some common understandings of how the different types of second genders tend to look and act.
Starting off with Alphas. They're usually described as big and strong and come forth as the designated leaders in society.
Personality-wise, they can be loud and oppressive but can also be shown as silent, stoic types who command the room simply with their presence. In any case, they're often very masculine and dominating, always marking their territory and striving to be the ones in charge, with a tendency to be very protective of what's theirs and rather aggressive when challenged.
More physical attributes other than strength and size may be added, such as an array of muscles and a gifted nether region, including the knot.
The knot is most common in Omegaverses that have a hybrid spin. In simple terms, the knot is a group of muscles found at the base of an Alpha's manhood, which swells up when they're close to climaxing to keep their partner from pulling away and so ensuring that their spend doesn't escape.
More traits common for Alphas in the hybrid Omegaverse are bigger and stronger fangs than their other counterparts, as well as larger and longer claws, better hearing, optics, and sense of smell—they're also faster, stronger, and often smarter than the rest. All reasons as to why they're considered the leaders in society.
But all in all, whether you include all of this or not, Alphas are considered the ones at the top of the food chain.
And at the bottom of that food chain, we find Omegas.
Often portrayed as small, weak, and meek by nature—Omegas are the opposite of Alphas. And yet, despite this, Omegas are also highly desired by Alphas for mating reasons. Although this isn't really taken from our understanding of how actual wolf packs work, it is often the case in the Omegaverse.
You see, in the Omegaverse, Omegas are considered highly fertile and domestic, making them objects of desire for Alphas. In turn, Omegas will usually want an Alpha—the bigger and stronger, the better—to provide, protect, and keep them safe from other Alphas.
Furthermore, Omegas are said to be very pretty, sometimes to an irresistible degree, and will often be described as cute and doe-eyed.
Hybrid Omegas have all the same physical attributes as Alphas, but smaller—so tiny teeth, short and sometimes dull claws, soft bodies without much muscle, etc...
Simply put, Alphas are large and dominant, while Omegas are small and submissive.
Now Betas, on the other hand, are a little more ambiguous...
Some choose to make them the odd men out, characters without Omega/Alpha instincts and needs—making them the normal humans in an Omegaverse society. Here, Alphas and Omegas are more or less an altogether different species than Betas.
Others choose to treat the second gender as a spectrum going from Alpha to Omega with Beta in the middle—here, Betas might vary from being recessive Alphas to recessive Omegas.
Others, again, portray Betas only as just below Alphas—so, still big and strong but falling just short of being the biggest and strongest.
Hybrid Betas will be described as something in between Alphas and Omegas, or simply as smaller Alphas—so moderately sized teeth, claws, muscle mass, etc.
There are no rules to this, but all in all, Betas are usually portrayed as being less desirable to both Alphas and Omegas—for these mentioned reasons and for further reasons we'll divulge now.
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♡ Scents, Ruts, Heats and Suppressants
This is what makes up the charm in the Omegaverse.
Scent is basically the Omegaverse word for pheromones.
It's often the difference in scent that allows characters to identify and determine whether someone is an Alpha, Omega, Beta, etc. Moreover, scents are used to arouse and are often what induce heats and ruts, which we'll talk about shortly.
But first! Alpha scents are usually described as spicy and musky, whereas Omega scents tend to be described as sweet. Both, respectfully, are designed to attract the other.
Betas, on the other hand, are either described as not having scent glands the same way Alphas and Omegas do or have them but exude a very weak scent, which in some Omegaverses might be the very reason they're deemed as Betas—labeled as defective Alphas or Omegas.
This is all up to the writer. There can be many other descriptions defining the Beta type, each different from the first—too many to explain here. A writer can more or less make their own definition of what makes someone a Beta.
But in any case, Alphas and Omegas are often said to be indifferent to a Beta's scent. Likewise, Betas aren't affected by Alpha and Omega scents—either because they can't really detect them or because it doesn't affect them the same way, usually because Betas don't experience heats or ruts such as Alphas and Omegas do—though this can also be decided by the author.
Again, no rigorous set of rules applies here. It all depends on whether the Betas are portrayed as being normal humans in an Omegaverse society or something more like recessive or defective Alphas/Omegas.
But onto heats and ruts!
Omegas go into heat, whereas Alphas go into ruts. Betas, as I already mentioned, are often said to go into neither—but that's a choice the writer makes.
And, as you've probably guessed by now, there are a lot of different choices a writer can make here...
Omegas often have a heat cycle—meaning they experience regular and scheduled heats. You can think of it like the menstrual cycle. It doesn't have to be once a month or every full moon—it can be twice a year before winter and spring or once a year between January and April like female wolves have. Like many things, it's up to the writer to decide. But in any case, Omegas tend to go into heat on a regular basis.
Additionally, the scent of an Alpha can sometimes induce spontaneous heat in an Omega outside their heat cycle.
But what is heat exactly?
Well, heat is the time when an Omega is most fertile. When Omegas go into this heat, they're often said to feel horny for no apparent reason, often to the point of feeling frustrated and feverish, while exuding copious amounts of slick and scent in order to attract a mate.
The degree of these symptoms varies from writer to writer. Some like to portray heats almost like a sickness, describing a burning ache in the lower belly making the Omegas bedridden and damn-near delirious, whereas other writers make their Omegas fully functional, only feeling slight discomfort—while other writers incorporate both for different types of Omegas, some highly sensitive and others not so much. Again, same as with menstruation, some women feel high levels of pain, and others don't feel anything at all.
Ruts are a bit different...
Most writers treat ruts like the Alpha equivalent of heat—meaning it's when their libido is at its highest and their need-to-mate through the roof. But whether this is also based on a cycle or is simply triggered when encountering an attractive mate varies from writer to writer.
The symptoms of an Alpha's rut are also a matter of debate. Some writers make their Alphas go completely berserk, all manners of rationale gone, blacked out with only one goal left in their head: to mate until their ball's empty. Other writers make them simply become hot and bothered and a little more aggressive than normal. And some writers choose both, making their Alphas lose control over specific Omega scents while having less of a reaction to others.
But onto suppressants!
Sometimes called heat/rut suppressants or inhibitors, these usually exist in the Omegaverse and are sort of their version of the pill, only different and with more effects.
Heat suppressants or Omega inhibitors are often explained to minimize the effects of a heat or to prevent it completely, making them highly useful for sensitive Omegas that experience tough heats regularly.
Rut suppressants or Alpha inhibitors are, similarly, for Alphas who experience rough ruts or who are sensitive to Omega scents.
All in all, suppressants and inhibitors are taken to avoid the effects of ruts and heats.
You also have something called scent blockers, which, as the name suggests, makes the person who takes them dull their scent glands, making it so that they don't emit too much of a scent or cancel out their scent completely. This is useful for Omegas and Alphas who don't want to attract attention—and can be used, for example, to keep their second gender hidden from others.
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♡ Pairing, Mating, Marking, Biting, and Bonding!
So, as we've already gone over, the most common pairing is Alpha x Omega. But it doesn't have to be that way! Anyone can, of course, be with anyone, even in the Omegaverse. Omega x Omega, Alpha x Alpha, Beta x Omega, Alpha x Beta, and Beta x Beta are all still valid pairs, as well as all other variations with the other additional second genders.
However, there are some things that will work differently or, in some cases, won't work at all.
First on that list are, as we just covered, scents, ruts, and heats.
As I said, Betas aren't usually affected by Alpha/Omega scents, but they can still feel attraction for them anyway! The same goes for same-second-sex relationships. Omegas won't affect each other with their scents, but they can still like each other despite that. Alphas, too, can fall for other Alphas even without them necessarily being affected by one another's scent.
The matter, then, of course, is whether they can satisfy each other when their heats and ruts come along. Generally, an Alpha and Omega are made to please the other, and so it's common to see writers make their Beta x Omega/Alpha pairs and same-second-sex pairs struggle with this—which is where using suppressants and inhibitors may come in handy.
Another thing that will work differently is bonding.
Bonding or marking happens when one or both in a pair mark each other with their bite, thus solidifying them as mates.
This, however, is commonly agreed that only works and happens between Alphas and Omegas, where Alphas will deal the bite to the Omega or both unto each other. This is often described as an irreversible act, forever binding them together as a mated pair.
Depending on the writer's choices, there may or may not be any merit in an Alpha biting a Beta or of a Beta biting an Omega—and even less in two Alphas or two Omegas biting each other.
And so, as you can tell, a lot of the Omegaverse rests on the idea that Alphas and Omegas are meant for each other and only each other—and therein lies the potential juicy conflict, which we'll discuss a little later, but first...
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♡ Soulmates!
This is another common facet in the Omegaverse.
The soulmate idea typically rests on two concepts. We went over the first one: the bite that seals the bond between an Alpha and Omega for life. Here, Alphas and Omegas can more or less choose their soulmate.
Additionally, it's often a factor that after the bite is dealt, the Alpha and Omega in that bond will only affect each other with their scents and will only be able to reach satisfaction with each other when experiencing ruts and heats—basically making them fully dependent on one another forever.
The other soulmate concept is based on the idea that an Alpha or Omega will recognize the scent of their mate—at first sniff! Here, soulmates are predetermined and not chosen.
Both of these concepts can exist in one Omegaverse. Sometimes, the scent will be used to identify a soulmate but will still need to be confirmed and sealed through a bite or rejected by not biting.
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♡ Culture, Society, and Politics
This is where you can really have fun!
When you have characters in ranks like Alpha, Beta, and Omega, who are supposed to be one thing, it can be interesting to suddenly make them the opposite.
For example, Alphas are supposed to be successful winners—but as we see in real life, not all those who have everything going for them end up with it all. So it could be fun to take the angle of a loser Alpha who hasn't got what he feels entitled to.
Or to have a really successful and independent Omega, who is generally only supposed to be a housewife for Alphas.
Betas can be a fun role to play with too. You can make them salty for not being Alphas, desperate to do anything in order to prove themselves—or you can make them happy outsiders who're relieved they don't have to participate in any of the Alpha-Omega nonsense.
Additionally, as we covered earlier, you can break the normal pairings. You can make Alphas who are sickeningly interested in courting only Betas—who almost seem to think of them as a conquest. Or Omegas, who're frightened of Alphas and end up only courting each other. Or Alphas who think everyone is beneath them and also decide that only those of their own rank are worth their time. Or Omegas who, instead of settling for just one Alpha, goes for two Betas, like in this fic:
♡ TWO BETAS, ONE OMEGA
And that's only breaking gender and social norms! We can also break the body norms! Such as suddenly making a really big and strong Omega and a small and cute Alpha. A dynamic I explore in this fic:
♡ UNNATURAL
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♡ World Structure
There are many different types of Omegaverses. Still, I'd say we can categorize the Omegaverse by three different types of world structures: modern, primal, and dystopian.
Modern Omegaverses are reminiscent of the real world but with the added Alpha, Beta, and Omega dynamics.
Primal Omegaverse is where society is set out in the wild—this is also the type of Omegverse that usually features hybrids.
Examples of primal Omegaverse:
♡ SILLY LITTLE MATE
Dystopian is modern Omegaverse, but with laws and politics that support segregation between the second genders where Omegas are usually being oppressed and treated as lesser humans—this is the one I play around with most.
Examples of dystopian Omegaverse:
♡ TWIST OF FATE ♡ THE OMEGA INSTITUTION ♡ HARD-LEARNED LESSON
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♡ Second gender and male pregnancy!?
I'm not an expert when it comes to this type of Omegaverse, but yes, male pregnancy is possible in some Omegaverses due to the existence of second genders.
This type of Omegaverse is popular in the Boy Love genre.
Here, Omega males can be impregnated by Alphas.
Male Betas, however, can neither impregnate male Omegas nor be impregnated by Alphas. They can, on the other hand, still impregnate any type of female.
Additionally, Alpha females can also impregnate Omegas. In this type of Omegaverse, Alpha females are often portrayed as futanari—meaning they have both sets of genitalia.
Rules to this vary, though I'm unfortunately not well-versed enough to explain it all. And so I'll leave it at that.
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♡ Other Animalistic Elements May Be Included!
Impregnation may be referred to as catching, and babies as pups. Additionally, Omegas will often be said to carry litters, meaning more than just one pup—sometimes a lot more.
Scent glands exist on the wrists and in the juncture between the neck and shoulder—which is also where the bite is dealt.
Imprinting can be another aspect of things. This is something that happens as you grow up, often between childhood friends and siblings and with parents. Imprinting simply means that you recognize the scent of someone else as kin, trustworthy, or a source of comfort. Pets do this with their owners, for example.
A home, bedroom, or simply a bed might be called a nest or den. Nesting is when a character spends time in the nest, typically for Omegas during heat or pregnancy.
Other than that, I'd say there's a lot more one can implement in the Omegaverse. But this concludes the general idea of things as well as some further inspiration for those who might want it.
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♡ Wolf Pack Hierarchy: Debunked!
Lastly, I want to clarify that the Alpha, Beta, and Omega ranks aren't really as relevant out in the wild as many would believe.
Wolf packs out in the wild are usually only made up of two parents and their children and, therefore, actually have a similar type of hierarchy to that of human families. Wolf cubs come of age before they turn three, at which point they'll leave their family pack, find a mate, and start their own pack. Leaving no need for ranks, just the simplicity of mother, father, and offspring.
However, wolf packs kept in reservoirs and captivity are different because they're usually much bigger, including not only relatives but random non-relatives, at which point a hierarchy is needed, which is where the idea of the Alpha, Beta, and Omega dynamic originally comes from—from humans studying a large group of mostly unfamiliar wolves held strictly in captivity.
This would be the same as locking a number of random humans together in a house and deeming the outcome a solid case study for what happens naturally when, in reality, it's the farthest thing from natural occurrence possible.
Of course, wolf packs of a larger number do exist out in the wild as well, though they are uncommon. But even then, the simple dynamics of Alpha, Beta, and Omega don't apply as straightforwardly as it sounds.
But anyway, here's a last fun fact about wolves: they mate for life!
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♡ For more Omegaverse fics of mine: ♡ FEM x M INSERT ♡ GN x M INSERT
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starshideurfics · 3 days ago
Text
A Mother’s Love - part 2
part one
omegaverse, pre-steddie, past mpreg, cw: child death
Marsha Harrington was proud of her work under Dr. Martin Brenner. They were doing cutting-edge research, pushing the boundaries of what the human mind could do, and ensuring the communists didn’t win.
At least, that’s what she told herself as she held a grieving mother whose baby they had stolen.
Then, she told herself she was doing it for the children, protecting them as best she could.
But she couldn’t protect them. Not really.
Two was angry, even as a little boy, and Four followed his example. Five was cold, easily molded by Brenner. Each of them did whatever Papa asked.
Except Seven.
Seven cried often, and he kept to himself. The older boys liked to make him cry. And he was afraid of the girls, like being near them would burn his skin.
He was always distressed during Brenner’s tests, so distressed that they never got good data. Brenner tried ignoring him, a “cooling off period” he called it, to see if Seven could calm down and regulate enough for testing. It didn’t work.
“He’s washing out,” Brenner said one day after a failed attempt to get Seven to guess at the pictures on the cards in Brenner’s hands. “Schedule him for tomorrow.”
One child had washed out before. Four had been a twin. 004A and 004B, but A never stood out, let B push him around. He’d hit his head, had a cranial hematoma. There was surgery, but he recovered
 below Brenner’s standard. He washed out at six-years-old.
“Washed out.”
He was cremated.
And 004B became 004.
Marsha volunteered to handle 007’s procedure. She changed out the vials, gave him a mild sedative, and covered him with a sheet. A janitor helped her sneak him out a backdoor.
She brought him home, told her husband she’d leave him if he didn’t agree to adopt the boy. Richard simply smiled and nodded.
Marsha had had cancer in her early-20s, lost both ovaries in the course of her treatment. She’d gone to therapy, made her peace with it. Found a husband who didn’t care that she couldn’t have children, who liked being able to knot her without worrying about babies.
Richard did not care for babies. But Seven was already almost 5-years-old. Richard could handle that.
He was also a lawyer, so getting papers filed to adopt the boy were simple. They named him Steven, figuring it was close enough that if he remembered anything his brain could make sense of it.
Steven David Harrington.
Marsha and Richard were quiet about Steve, treating him like he’d always been around. They moved to Hawkins, closer to the lab, hiding Steve in plain sight. And Marsha kept her job.
If they ran, someone might ask questions, but Marsha wanted to save time on her commute. Who could question that?
Out of the lab, Steve calmed down. He enjoyed his routines, liked going to the park, liked swimming in their new pool with Mommy. For the first time, Marsha saw him laugh out loud, and she hoped the worst was behind them.
Then he started school.
The other children overwhelmed him, and his teacher called home 45 minutes after drop-off because Steve could not stop crying.
Marsha went to pick him up, promised they would work on emotional regulation and try again next Monday.
“Steve, can you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked on the way home.
“Hurts,” he said, sniffling and rubbing his chest. “Hurts inside. Everyone is scared and loud and it hurts.”
“Oh, my poor, sensitive boy!” Marsha pulled into the driveway, pulled Steve out of the backseat, and held him close. “Let’s see if we can figure out how to make it quieter for you, Stevie.”
When Steve went back for the second week of Kindergarten he still kept to himself, but he could manage the half day surrounded by his peers. By the end of the week, he had even made friends.
He got better control, grew up happy and healthy, and most importantly, safe.
Marsha continued to work for Brenner until one day, after nearly 20 years, she was reassigned as a specialist at the VA. Brenner said their funding was cut. That the program was finished.
Steve was almost 13 by then. Marsha was fairly certain he didn’t remember any of it. And he didn’t cry much. Not anymore. But when he came home to his mother crying in the kitchen, his eyes filled with tears. “It’s okay, Mom,” he said, throwing his arms around her.
“I know, Honey. I know.”
đŸ«‚đŸ«‚đŸ«‚
Wayne leaves Steve dozing in his nest around 4:10, and goes to try calling the Harrington’s. Marsha picks up on the third ring, voice light and breathy. Wayne tries to be as cordial as possible, introducing himself and mentioning that he’s seen her at the VA when he goes in for his physical.
“But let’s get down to brass tacks, I’ve got your son, Steve, here, in my nest, sleeping through his presentation heat. My nephew’s a freshman, he found him, and you know how teens are, he brought him to the first safe omega he could think of—”
“Thank you!” she cuts him off, sounding a little hysterical. “Thank you, Wayne! I thought I had more time before it hit him. It’s been so long since I’ve worked with pups—with teens
” she trails off, suddenly quiet. “I should have been paying more attention.”
Wayne waits a long moment, then he asks, “D’you wanna come pick him up? Or should I
”
“Yes! What’s your address?”
Wayne’s ready to give directions, but he says Forest Hills and the lot number, and she thanks him again as she hangs up her end of the call. Shrugging, Wayne hangs up his own receiver, and gets a glass of orange juice from the fridge.
Steve’s still sleeping peacefully, his face tucked into the side of the nest, fingers curled in the blankets.
Wayne crosses over to him, strokes his hair and murmurs, “Hey, Kid. Your Mom is on her way over.” He feels Steve’s forehead, still burning with his heat. He holds up the orange juice. “Need to get some sugar into you, make up for everything your body’s burning through.” He helps Steve sit up, holds the glass for him as he drinks it all.
Finished, Steve turns to hide his face against Wayne’s shoulder and whines.
“I know, Kid. This is a rough one. The first of many.”
“Can I lay back down?”
“Sure, get comfy. I’ll bring your mother back as soon as she gets here.” Wayne watches Steve sink back down to the same spot, realizes then where Steve’s nose is, and holds back a keening cry of his own.
Benny deserves to know.
But Benny wants his pup safe before anything.
Marsha must have broken a few traffic laws with how quickly she arrives, and Wayne opens the door for her before she can knock. “Thank you!” she says again, following Wayne back to his nest and running over to Steve. She rubs his back, softly says, “Stevie, I’m here. It’s okay.”
Steve lifts his head, eyes unfocused as he turns to look at her. “Hi, Mom.”
“Are you ready to go home? We’ll get a nest started on your bed and you can sleep.”
“It’s nice here,” Steve mumbles, “Smells nice. Safe.”
She sniffs theatrically. “You’re right, it does.” Then she sniffs Steve’s hair. “But don’t you want a nest that smells like you?”
Steve shakes his head, fist clenching the white undershirt, pulling it to his nose.
Marsha strokes Steves hair, bends down to sniff quietly at the shirt, and goes stock still. As she recovers, she kisses Steve’s hair and gets back to her feet. Her eyes are watery, lips pursed as she approaches Wayne to ask, “You know Ben Hammond?”
“He’s my best friend. Don’t you know he lives in town?”
She shakes her head. “I try not to be involved, for-” She cuts herself off, pauses. “You know, don’t you.” It isn’t a question.
“Yes.”
“Call him. Now.”
đŸ«‚đŸ«‚đŸ«‚
“Benny’s Burgers, how can I help you?” Benny drawls into the receiver, expecting a to-go order.
Instead, it’s Wayne. “Benny, you need to come over right now.”
“Wayne, no. Dinner rush is about to start, I’ve already got a few early birds, a couple te-”
“Benjamin Hammond, this is serious!”
That wasn’t Wayne, the voice too high-pitched. Feminine and familiar.
“Marsha?”
“Hi, honey. God, I owe you a million apologies. More even.”
“You do.”
“But Wayne said you know, and he needs you.”
Benny’s heart races. “Wayne needs me? Marsha, what the hell is going on? Is Br-”
“Wayne is fine. He needs you.” Marsha is being careful, keeping him from saying too much over the phone. “Please, can you come to Wayne’s? Now?”
“Yeah, just gotta close up.”
“I’m so sorry, Benny.”
“Save it for later, Marsha.” He hangs up, hurries the customers who have already been served. Orders everyone else out with a barked, “Emergency closure. Come back tomorrow.”
Benny hops into his pickup, drives to Wayne’s, confused for a moment by the BMW parked next to Wayne’s truck. But his brain catches back up, and he parks right beside it.
As soon as he’s through the door he can smell it: Peaches, light and sweet. He shouldn’t be able to, with the strength of Wayne’s cinnamon mixed with cigarette smoke, but he does. Peaches mixed with the fading milky scent of a pup.
Wayne and Marsha are in the kitchen, both staring at him.
“I’m so sorry, Benny,” Marsha says again. “What we did to you was unforgivable. What we did to the pups was worse. But I got Steve out. I kept him safe.” Her voice is shaky, but her eyes stay dry, never looking away.
“I wanted to name him David,” Benny says in little more than a whisper.
“I know. His middle name is David, but Steven was easier for him to adapt to.”
“Adapt?”
“Brenner gave them numbers.”
That doesn’t surprise Benny; Brenner was always so clinical. Methodical. But it clearly shocks Wayne. “Numbers. Y’all didn’t even give them names?”
“His name was Seven.”
Marsha glances at Wayne, sees the disgust there. “Brenner thought it would make it easier for us to see them as subjects than as children. But they were always children to me. And Steve was sensitive, stubborn and scared. I got him out, and Brenner thinks he’s dead. As long as he doesn’t call any attention to himself he should be safe.”
“Talking to me will call attention to him, won’t it?” Benny asks, heart and mind racing. For a moment he considers grabbing Steve and running god knows where, but he can’t do that to his pup.
“Not that much. Brenner shuttered the program. I don’t work for him anymore. I’m just a nurse at the VA. And all your files are secured and confidential. No one should be watching you.” Marsha takes two steps, crosses the tiny kitchen, and tentatively reaches for Benny’s shoulder. “And he needs you. His heart still knows you.”
“I think my heart would know him anywhere. No matter what.” Tears stream from his eyes, and Benny nods down the hallway towards Wayne’s room. “I have loved him every day—every minute—of his life, and if you let me in, I’m not leaving. Ever.”
“I know. We’ll figure it out. Keep him safe. Together.”
Marsha takes his hand in both of hers, squeezes once, and lets go. “He’s sleeping, but I think he’ll feel better if you’re nearby.”
Benny panics, suddenly struck with all his worst fears. “He’s not hurt, is he?”
“No more than any other omega on the day they present,” Wayne answers gently.
“Oh.” Right, the peach scent. Benny’s grandmother smelled like peaches. He misses her. She taught him how to bake.
“He found your scent token in my nest right away,” Wayne adds.
“Oh,” Benny says again, his legs beginning to shake. “Oh.”
Marsha guides him back to the nest. To his pup.
Steve is asleep, a plain, white shirt clutched in his fist, held by his nose. The exposed skin of his back is covered in a sheen of sweat, and his cheeks are pink. Too warm all over from his presentation.
Slowly, Benny sinks down to sit at the center of the nest, and he carefully places a hand on top of Steve’s, aims his wrist towards his boy’s nose.
Steve purrs and nuzzles towards it, and Benny purrs in response. His hand moves to grasp Benny’s forearm and he mumbles, “Good, safe.”
“Yeah, Baby, you’re safe.”
đŸ«‚đŸ«‚đŸ«‚
Steve wakes around 9 that night, his cramps intense. He lets out a whine that sounds pitiful, even to his heat-addled mind. “Mama?” he asks softly, even though he hasn’t called his mother that since he started grade school. “Mama?”
“It’s okay, Steve. It’s okay,” she soothes back, petting his cheek.
Her powdery scent fills his nose, mildly floral, and he whines again. His belly cramps harder, an ache that radiates through his pelvis. He turns, seeking out the comforting scents of Wayne’s nest, only to press his nose into the palm of a callused hand.
Steve breathes in deeply. Apples and warmth.
He whines again, wordless and high pitched, both hands reaching, grasping. Steve feels safe, feels loved. Desperately. Overwhelmingly.
He reaches for it with his heart, touches that love with his own, and cries out. A love so big it hurts.
His fingers catch on soft cotton, body-warm because it’s being worn. He clenches his fists, whines as he pulls himself closer.
Steve’s not sure if he imagines it when he hears his mother say, “See, he needs you,” so gentle. When he hears a shaky gasp in response.
Then big arms lift him up, holding him like a pup, cradled against a strong chest. A warm hand guides his head down, positions his nose so he’s hit with the most intense burst of apples and love. Of sweetness and safety.
He snuffles closer, wants only this. Feels himself relax.
He does not understand yet, but he knows. His feelings have always been too big, but here they can be. He can let them be big, because here they are only love. Only joy.
Steve drifts to sleep in his mama’s arms for the first time, and for that moment, all is right with the world.
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doginurbloodstream · 2 days ago
Text
i am bive from regretevator!
i dont particularly miss the regretevator universe.. i do enjoy the game though
i know two infected fictionkins, one of which is also unpleasant gradient and poob!
id say im a 3/10, i tend to be a very rational person (i think)
bive is unlabled mspec but wlw and im aroace transmasc
my fictionkin identity doesnt really effect daily life, if at all. it has to be triggered by specific bive related things. the closest its gotten is wanting to yell out "me" whenever the npc me entered the elevator while i was playing with my friend, who does not know im a fictionkin, so there was like an awkward pause where i stopped myself, and then yelled bive. there are random bits of dysphoria i guess, i dont like talking in third person, but its mild and i can get past it.
my fictionkin experience is mainly unpleasant (gradient) unfortunately. shifts are euphoric but also stressful. i tend to have to consciously ground myself a bit, because i have felt like im being watched in the past. i knew/know i wasnt, i just couldnt shake the feeling. i mean coming up with theories for the game where i can just completely let lose is fun, however it is saddening that i will probably never come up with a real one.
death note, touch tone telephone (i was based on that song so its not surprising), and i recently realized the backrooms does too. theres more im not thinking of
im not sure, its not psychological and i think dont believe in most spiritual things. its probably a multiversal thing, but i dont know from there so i usually just say unlabeled.
i do experience shifts! they are always triggered tho, thankfully. i dont get them too often. the first two shifts i had were me being paranoid abt things (the very first one was very out of control, but i was sleep deprived and depressed at the time). the second time i talked about two questions ago. i didnt have any shifts for awhile after that until i my plushie arrived, and i stayed up quite a bit just missing mediamates. that was rough. my later shifts were triggered by trying to come up with theories for the game, altho i wasnt aware i was shifted, until later, i thought i was just excited. the theories were really unhinged, and i thought i was a genius. it was rly fun tho. harmless shift. today i had a brief shift, i was looking at a bive fictionkin stimboard, and there was like a liminal space gif + music was playing, and it looked.. all too much like the lab. i started crying a bit, even tho i do not think have kinmemories, but it ended pretty quickly cuz my friend msged me a joke and the shock value got to me lol. ive also had phantom shifts, but not much recently. i may have had tail shifts, but its difficult to differentiate between kintypes
my media is regretevator on roblox! i do cringe at it sometimes tbh.
when i see fanart, it sort of feels like it was made FOR me specifically lol. what i know abt my canon heavily aligns with the fanon designs so thats cool. when it doesnt align i do feel a bit off tho- like no, that isnt me. you got it wrong. ironically this happened with a recent canon update, when they added melanie WHO IS DEAD. she was supposed to BE dead and STAY dead. and then also, why do i welcome her back?? why am i so friendly?? i mean i get that shes like friends or smth with split, but i just dont trust her. i have no reason not to, i just dont. that is WRONG. you. NO. get OUT.
ooh ooh! i like this question. i have a large, reptile-like (but hairy) non-prehensile tail! my hands and feet are clawed, with only 4 digits. for my feet i have like thumb things coming out of my heels, similar to a bird. i likely am very similar the upcoming remodel, but i cant confirm as i have not seen it. i just know im not a roblox character, and the previews of splits remodel feel very familiar.
ah.. ships. i dont see much of them outside me n split. if i do i just think its a bit weird, and move on. i wish i was seen as more than just someone who likes her. theres more to me. the majority of bive fans are mainly spive fans. i decided to look myself up on tumblr and i was just flooded with shipart. there is MORE TO ME. I AM MORE THAN HER. PLEASE SEE ME FOR ME.
in current lore me and split have feelings for each other (cant relate, im aro, but spive is in my canon tho) and are GOING to confess but that has not happened yet. i feel kinda weird abt it since i have very mixed feelings on romance, but i think we are a thing in my canon, because MY GOD I MISS SPLIT SO MUCH. I MISS HER.
Alex's fictionkin ask game!
(mostly for fictional characters)
đŸŒČ - what is your fictotype?
đŸȘČ - do you miss your home? Or maybe you're happy that you're here?
🐾 - do you have any sourcemates? If yes, who/what are they?
🌳 - in scale 1-10, how are you similar to your canon?
🌿 - does your fictotype have a different sex/gender identity than your body/you?
☘ - what aspect of life does your identity affect the most?
đŸȘŽ - is your fictionkin experience unpleasant or enjoyable for you?
🍃 - what reminds you of your fictotype? (E.g.: a figurine, a doll, a tv series)
🌄 - on what level is your identity? (E.g. spiritual, psychological, psychical)
🐱 - do you experience shifts? Of yes, how do they look like?
đŸ„ - what is your source?
🐛 - how do you feel about fanarts of you and fanfictions?
đŸŒ” - do you look exactly like in your source or do you look different? If you do, then what is different?
đŸ„€ - what do you think about ships with you?
🩕 - do you have/had a loved one in your source?
â™Șâ™Șâ™Ș
So, yeah, that's all! :D
Reblog this, so the others can ask you questions or answer them all right now, if you want to :>
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dedexo · 2 days ago
Text
The Proposal
Timeskip Kenma x Fem Reader
Not proofread
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“What's up bros It's Kozuken. Today, I have with me (he pulls the chair you’re sitting on in frame) my beautiful girlfriend, and we’ll be playing Minecraft together!”
The chat exploded with excitement and compliments. Kenma’s viewers loved it when you joined the stream even though it wasn't often. You only joined once in a while when Kenma asked you or on special occasions. You thought today's stream was just a regular stream, and Kenma only asked you to join because why not? However, Kenma had other plans in mind.
You guys have been dating for almost 5 years now and everything was going great, sure you had arguments here and there but nothing break up worthy. Overall, Kenma was pretty content with your relationship. The thought of marriage didn't even cross his mind until Kuroo brought it up randomly one day.
**********************************************
“Sooo when’s the wedding?” Kuroo asked while sipping his tea.
“What wedding?” Kenma asked with genuine confusion.
“Are you being serious right now?” Kuroo put down his tea and stared Kenma dead in the eyes.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“Are you not planning on marrying y/n?”
“Oh
.” Kenma sits there and ponders for a couple of seconds. “Well to be honest I didn't really think about marriage. It would be nice though, calling her my wife and all.” A slight blush appeared on his cheeks.
“Well you better get on with it, no girl would stay with you this long if she didn't think you were gonna eventually propose to her. And if you wait too long she might just leave you.”
**********************************************
And that’s how he ended up here nervously sitting with a ring in his pocket and you sitting next to him completely oblivious to his plan.
He planned to propose to you through Minecraft since it was the first game you guys ever played together, but throughout the whole stream, he kept questioning himself. What if you said no? Should he really do this on stream where millions of people can see? Should he have proposed a different way? What if you wanted some big fancy flowers on the beach kinda proposal? How would he recover if you rejected him in front of his fans? These thoughts plagued his mind until he realized that it was almost time for the stream to end. It was now or never.
“Before we end the stream there's something I’d like to show you y/n, follow me.” Kenma said sounding kinda uneasy.
“Okay!” You say with a bit of excitement. You noticed that he was acting kinda weird but you decided to ignore it thinking it was nothing and continued to follow him in the game.
He carried you to this super pretty area that was covered in flowers. You could tell that there was a sign in the middle of it but you were too far away to see what it said. Once you were close enough you finally read what it said. 
“WILL YOU MARRY ME Y/N💍?”
It took you a couple of seconds to process what was happening. Is this for real??
You look over at Kenma and he is on one knee with a ring in his hand.
You sat there, hands covering your mouth, absolutely dumbfounded.
“Y/n, you are the best girl I could ever ask for, I love you with all my heart and I cant imagine my life without you in it. Will you marry me?
“OH MY GOD YESSSSS!!” You jump on him causing you both to tumble over.
You guys get up off the floor and Kenma slides the ring on your finger
The stream chat was exploding with congratulations and people laughing at the fall. 
Kenma thanked his viewers for the support and ended the stream.
You two spent the rest of the evening celebrating and looking at wedding inspo on Pinterest.
_________________________________________
If you couldn't already tell I lost motivation at the end 🙃  
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jazeswhbhaven · 24 hours ago
Note
*Raises hand* I have this request pls đŸ™‹â€â™€ïž
What will Leviathan, Beelzebub and Lucifer (and maybe some others nobles if you ok) react when they see MC is breastfeeding their baby? đŸ«ą
Thank you for waiting anon! This is quite interesting to think about...
Leviathan: Immediately jealous, which doesn't make a lick of sense. In fact, he takes the baby and starts to breastfeed them instead making up an excuse that MC's milk isn't enough. (babies are known to try and nurse their dads cause nipple is nipple 😭)
Beelzebub: He likes watching MC breastfeed just for the fact that they are nourishing their child. Especially since he's done a good job in making sure MC's diet is up to par. But of course, after a few minutes he's already bored and gets up to do something else.
Lucifer: He's unaffected, quietly watching as MC breastfeeds. Humans need to be fed, same as any being in existence. Even angels at some point. He doesn't believe in covering up the child either, a custom he often saw on earth.
Gamigin: He's so intrigued, he watches MC nurse their child and practices being quiet as to not disturb the baby. He does often ask questions about how it feels and if he could try? (Lucifer tells him no immediately)
Foras: He at first was watching MC breastfeed while he was invisible, thinking it would be more appropriate to not reveal himself staring. Over time, he asks MC permission to watch, as he is quite curious to how human infants get their food. He also feels like it's a close bonding ritual, and even starts thinking about having kids with MC...
Zagan: He's quietly observing, and very protective of MC if they have to breastfeed while in public. He shields them with a talisman so MC doesn't have to cover up, though truthfully no devil in Hell would care as much if they were to walk past.
Beleth: He's quite romantic when it comes to seeing MC breastfeed. He thinks about how cute it would be for them to have several little ones running around, a nice house, Belphie asleep while those same kiddos climb on him.
Asmodeus (just because): It was a mistake for MC to allow this devil to see them breastfeed. Not because of his sexual habits, or even the fact that he'd try to get a taste of their breastmilk. It's simply because this makes him nostalgic of when his children were babies. He's emotional, and shaking. He's thinking in his head how it can't hurt to try his luck on impregnating MC. He wants to be a father again and this is making it worse. If MC isn't careful, they're going to end up pregnant again 💀
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moutainrusing · 3 days ago
Text
hear me out
691 words, jegulus, platonic prongsfoot
They’d decided to have a ‘hear me out’ cake in the dormitory.
James remembered how it started – as per usual, he was awoken to Sirius waving something in his face. This time it had been a phone screen, open on a bunch of random videos about people putting their most out-of-pocket crushes on cakes and revealing them to the horrified faces of their friends, who turned out to either have a crush on the exact same person, or a crush on someone (or something) worse.
“We’ve got to do this,” Sirius had pleaded.
James had patted his head affectionately, “Mate, you don’t need to ask for my permission.”
Things had spiralled from there, as they often did when they were left up to Sirius. He’d assembled all four Marauders and arranged for them to have printed out or drawn all the pictures of their most embarrassing or unflattering or disturbing or secret crushes, while he’d get a cake from the Kitchens in time for their
 ‘hear me out’ thing
 at night. Was it a party? A celebration? James didn’t know.
He did know what face he was putting on the cake.
Remus stifled an unbecoming snort when he saw it. Peter wrinkled his nose and prepared for the worst.
Sirius was blissfully ignorant for at least ten seconds before he suddenly clocked it and began squawking, “That’s my brother! Oh my— You want to shag my brother?!” he whipped around to face James incredulously, then got to his feet and began shaking James’s shoulders, “Answer the question!”
And James poked his tongue in his cheek, reluctantly smiling at Sirius with his gums, “Uh
 Surprise?”
Sirius scoffed, “I can’t believe this. Keep it to yourself. Don’t get involved with—”
“We’re dating,” James’s brain decided that was the moment to confess. It was a good moment.
“You what?!” Sirius roared. “But that’s my brother! Regulus?! You— what— this isn’t cool, man. Can’t believe neither of you told me. I’m eating your slice of cake now. And tell Regulus he must offer me full custody of Leonie or our brotherhood is through.”
“Leonie?” James questioned.
Sirius huffed, “You don’t even know the first thing about Regulus. Leonie is our stuffed toy lioness,” he turned his nose to the ceiling. “And now she will be mine, ‘cause you’re both traitors.”
In the background, Remus and Peter laughed (traitors) while James tried to placate his best friend.
“You can have Leonie, Sirius—”
“That’s not enough! Firstly, are you even being safe with him? Is he being safe with you?! AND ARE YOU SHAGGING LIKE DISGUSTING CORRUPTED HEATHENS?!”
“We’re safe, and we’re not shagging—”
“Am I the first to know, or have you kept this filthy secret from me specifically?!”
“Sirius, right now is the first time I’ve told anyone, and I told you, Remus, and Peter—”
Sirius gasped, “Did you have Reggie’s permission to tell us?!”
“I’d never do anything without Reg’s permission,” James said seriously.
Extending his pinky, Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Promise?”
“Promise,” James assured him, linking their fingers.
Sirius sighed. “Fine. Have him on your stupid hear me out. But I’m still eating your slice. And after I do, we’re finding him and having a conversation like adults do.”
- - -
“Regulus!”
“Sirius.”
Regulus crossed his arms while Sirius looked at his brother carefully, before nodding wisely, “I’m glad.”
Despite the roll of his eyes, Regulus was smiling, “Thanks.”
James was very confused about the whole interaction.
Then Regulus went back into his dormitory, but Sirius was still standing outside. After a minute of just dawdling, a stuffed toy lioness flew out of Regulus’s door and landed in Sirius’s arms.
Beaming, Sirius cradled Leonie to his chest and told James, “We can go back now, or you can stay with Reg. His dorm’s empty,” Sirius tilted his head towards it.
“How do you know—?” James was cut off by Regulus pulling him into the, as Sirius had correctly predicted, empty dormitory.
“Hi,” Regulus greeted, wrapping his arms around James’s neck and pulling him down into a kiss. “Thanks for telling them,” he mumbled.
“I wanna tell the whole world I love you,” James whispered back.
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amberstruck · 5 hours ago
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First off, I love your Chocobo AU so much, especially Grian’s creechur form. Secondly, how did Scar know Grian’s name? Or was he the one who named Grian? If so what was Grian’s name before?
Another question-ish, I’m curious about the fight with that creature that led to Grian’s reveal. Like, what it was/how that fight went. And what their first conversation is like with Grian able to talk back.

and this is getting longer then I intended but I’m also curious what things are like post reveal. How often is Grian in his human form vs his creechur form?
Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it đŸ„č
(Just an fyi, some of these will also be featured in later parts of the AU/comic, but I’ll answer them now anyways because idk how long it’ll take to release those parts)
FIRST QUESTION! Did Scar name Grian?
Scar technically did name Grian, except it wasn’t just ‘oh look, you’re a bird, I’m gonna call you this’, Grian still had his own input and also partly chose it himself.
Scar talks to him like he’s a regular person even when he’s in bird form, despite the fact that he can’t talk back, so when he was naming him he basically just said ‘What do you want your name to be? How about Feathers?’ and Grian responded with an angry little chirp, so Scar was like ‘😒 Ok fine, what about Kwazii?’ and then another angry chirp, until eventually he asked whether he liked ‘Grian’ and finally Grian was like hmm yes (affirmative chirp). So it was a bit of a mutual agreement.
Second Question! What happened during/after the fight
The creature that injured Grian will be an important feature later in the AU so I’m not gonna spoil that yet, but he was injured because he’s used to communicating in an easy and friendly way with other magical creatures, and this creature was unusually sinister, in that it pretended to be friendly at first, then turned hostile (there is a reason for that), so he wasn’t expecting it and couldn’t defend himself.
Their first conversation will actually be the next part of the comic so I’m gonna leave that out as well (sorry!) just because it’ll be better when it has the visuals
Last Question! What is Grian like post-reveal?
Ok so after a lot of confusing conversations (and sexuality crises) with Grian when he’s an actual person, Scar convinces him that he’s safe enough with him to be in his true (human) form whenever he wants to.
So basically, Scar actually wants Grian to be a person all the time, but Grian is still a bit scared and also just likes being a bird occasionally, so Scar essentially tells him to do what’s right for him and trust that the watchers have no way to get him when they’re together at home.
So Grian kinda just ends up switching between them whenever he’s in the mood. Most of his time with Scar is spent as a person, and most of his time helping out in the zoo is as a bird so it’s easier to talk to the other creatures.
I hope that answered your questions well enough!
This is a really long post so sorry about that, but yeah! Always feel free to ask as many AU questions as you like ☝ also if you want to request art for certain aspects of the AU that is fine too!
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oddyseye · 1 day ago
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What is Xenia?
Xenia is not just good manners. Xenia a test of character, and it's also a reflection of how the Greeks understood the relationship between humans and gods. Xenia was about more than offering food and shelter to travelers. It was a demonstration of how the gods governed human interactions and a reminder of the importance of hospitality as a virtue. The host was expected to offer protection, provisions, and shelter, often without asking the guest for any information or demanding any immediate return. The guest, in turn, was expected to be respectful, not to take advantage of the host's kindness, and to eventually offer something in return, though this could be more symbolic or reciprocal rather than transactional.
One of the key aspects of xenia was the idea that hosts could never know whether their guest might be a god in disguise. The gods were thought to frequently take on human forms to test mortals' hospitality. This divine oversight made it all the more important to treat every guest with respect, as any breach could bring dire consequences. This belief extended to travelers, strangers, and even those whose identities were unknown — showing hospitality was considered a moral obligation, an offering to the gods as much as to the human guest. While gifts were often involved, the true essence of xenia lay in the trust between the parties: the guest trusted the host to provide, and the host trusted the guest not to abuse their hospitality.
Violating xenia was one of the gravest offenses a person could commit. The punishment for such violations wasn’t just a matter of breaking a social norm; it was seen as a violation of divine order.
Xenia, in Homer's world, is a divine law.
The gods themselves are said to be the ultimate enforcers of xenia, so you'd better believe that disrespecting hospitality could get you in serious trouble. It's not just offering your guest a meal; it's offering protection, shelter, and a safe passage. If you don't uphold that, you're basically tempting the gods to mess with you, and they love doing that, trust me.
Remember when Telemachus first lands in Pylos? Nestor and his family treat him with the utmost respect, offering food, shelter, and stories (and Telemachus finds himself a boyfriend even LMFAOO). This hospitality isn't just a nice gesture; it's a social obligation that reinforces both the personal and communal ties within Greek society. Everyone's in this together, and they all have a part to play. Telemachus' growing appreciation for this custom reflects his coming-of-age journey, as he sees first-hand what it means to be both the host and the guest in the grand game of survival and honor.
For those who are yet to read the Odyssey, the scene basically goes like this:
“You’re the son of my old war buddy, Odysseus? Welcome! Come in, sit down, have food, have shelter, don’t ask questions- Here, my son is your age, share a bed with him :3 !!”
It's the perfect example of how xenia isn't just about being polite; it's about honor (excluding that last part lol). It's about building trust with someone you don't know based on a shared understanding that we're all part of this cosmic social contract. And Telemachus? He's learning that he's part of a much bigger world than just his little island. But he knew how to respect xenia even before he left Ithaca. We see this when he invites Mentor (Athena in disguise) into his home and offers him the munchies before even asking for the stranger's name. He's practically the golden boy of xenia.
And now let's talk about my favorite group of people — the suitors.
Honestly, they're just...the worst at xenia. Like, they didn't even try. Antinous? This guy is the poster child for everything you should NOT do in literally ALL of Ancient Greece. He straight-up mocks Odysseus, who's dressed as a beggar, by insulting him and telling him to leave, throwing a chair at him, and...shocker, he's the first to die. Who's surprised?
Xenia is a two-way street. It's not just what you get — it's what you give. You can't take all the food, drink all the wine, and then act like the host is just there for your enjoyment. You've got to offer something back. That's the whole point of xenia. And sure, you might not have gold and riches to give, but you can show gratitude. You can at least not insult the person whose house you're eating in.
Now, there's one suitor who stands out in the worst possible way, and I'm talking about Eurymachus. You know, this guy isn't just disrespectful, he's an outright traitor to Odysseus. Eurymachus was not just another arrogant man in Odysseus' hall; he was someone who, as a child, had been a guest in Odysseus' home. He was one of those who had been taken care of by Odysseus, fed and treated well. This relationship makes his betrayal all the more significant because it wasn't merely about a stranger dishonoring a host. It was about someone who should have known better, someone who had once been treated as part of the family, turning on Odysseus when the opportunity arose. Eurymachus' betrayal was far worse because it was not simply a violation of xenia; it was a betrayal of trust. He had been in Odysseus' house as a boy, and now he was trying to usurp everything Odysseus had built.
Then, of course, there's Amphinomus. The one suitor who has a tiny bit of decency. He's like, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't kill the beggar and the prince, maybe we should be decent human beings...Please??" And yet he's still part of the whole disgusting group. He doesn't even try to follow xenia; he just doesn't get as bad as the rest of them. So congrats, you're the “least bad” one. But that's like being the least offensive stain on a white shirt. You're still part of the mess. I still think he should have been spared and I would have kissed his cheek for it, but whatever.
The suitors were trash hosts because they didn't respect the rules of hospitality. They took, they didn't give back, and they thought they could get away with it because they were powerful. Well, guess what? No one's untouchable. Not even rich, entitled jerks like Antinous. There's a reason those guys met their end the way they did, and it's because they broke the most sacred rule in Greek society.
Because xenia is not just guarded by the gods, but by Zeus himself.
Zeus' disinterest in Odysseus' personal life is clear, but when it comes to the suitors? That's a whole different story. While he might not always be in Odysseus' corner, Zeus has no tolerance for anyone who dares to violate the divine laws of xenia — particularly when it involves the destruction of a sacred home. I will remind you, Odysseus was a KING. The suitors are not just disrespectful; they're an insult to the gods. And when Telemachus prays for their downfall, and Zeus takes notice, and he responds. His action is swift and dramatic, a sign to all that the gods are paying attention. The deadliest omen Zeus could send is unleashed — two eagles, fierce and fighting, tear at each other over the heads of the people. It's a promise that the suitors' time is running out. What's key here, though, is that Telemachus' prayers don't fall on deaf ears. Zeus doesn't just show his wrath through omens; he actively watches over Telemachus on his journey. When Telemachus sets sail, the sea itself is dangerous and unpredictable, but Zeus protects him, ensuring that he does not meet the same fate as many other men who venture into the vast unknown. In a way, Telemachus becomes the embodiment of the gods' will. He is protected, guided, and tested.
Zeus may be unpredictable, but when it comes to the suitors, he is clear. They've broken the divine laws of hospitality, and their fate is sealed. It's not just Odysseus who will return to Ithaca — it's Telemachus, now under the gods' protection, who will be key in restoring order. The suitors, as arrogant as they are, might have thought they could escape the laws of the gods. But when Zeus speaks, no mortal can escape divine justice. I would like to add that Penelope was not exactly the host. Penelope, despite being a queen, isn't really seen as the one holding the hospitality duties. It's Telemachus who's stepping up to do the job. He takes on the responsibility that comes with being the son of Odysseus. He is the man of the house, making him the proper host (no matter how unwanted these guests were). This is why Penelope is allowed to, you know, stay locked inside her room all day. Telemachus is not. As the host, he has to keep the suitors in check. Penelope's ability to host is muted because of the chaos the suitors bring, and because it's not her job in the grand scheme of things. She's playing a supporting role now, keeping the suitors entertained with her wit and tricks, maintaining the appearance of a woman in control, while Telemachus is out here actually doing the hosting duties. Had Penelope been the one to oversee the hospitality, Eurymachus could have been spared. Why? Because the suitors who gave Penelope gifts (and I'm talking about real, physical, valuable offerings) would have been seen as showing respect to Odysseus through her, and the gods would have intervened. If Penelope had shown Eurymachus even the slightest favor, Odysseus would've been in the position to forgive him. The gods might've even compelled him to spare Eurymachus for the sake of their bond. But nope. That's not what's going down here. The suitors aren't just disrespecting Penelope; they're disrespecting Telemachus, who is the true host of the household. So their fate is sealed the moment they disrespect him.
Amphinomus, for all his faults, wasn't totally awful. He had the sense to not join in on the worst of the disrespect. He even suggested that maybe they should go easy on Telemachus and the beggar. If Amphinomus had left, like, actually left, as per Odysseus' advice, he could have been spared. Why? Because his mistake was one of passive disrespect. He wasn't actively mocking Telemachus, but he wasn't doing enough to step up and stop the madness either. In the end, when he refused to leave, he sealed his fate. Because as long as he stayed in that house, violating xenia by staying after the laws were already broken, he was part of the problem. So yeah, the suitors had it coming. And if any of them had actually understood the sacredness of their role as guests, they might have seen the signs, repented, and avoided the mess they got themselves into. But as it is, none of them learned the lesson, and in the end, their disrespect for Telemachus (and Odysseus once he returned) led to their doom. At the heart of xenia was the idea of balance: a guest should not overstay their welcome, and a host should not neglect their duty to care for their guest. Both sides of the exchange were expected to uphold their part of the contract to ensure the social harmony that the concept of xenia represented. Whether it was a nobleman offering shelter to a wandering traveler or a stranger arriving at a city and receiving shelter from a local family, xenia was meant to bind individuals to a larger, sacred social order that ensured mutual respect and protection. Those who followed the rules of xenia were seen as civilized, as they respected the basic social contracts that allowed society to function. On the other hand, those who violated xenia were labeled barbaric, their behavior seen as a sign of moral decay. Xenia isn't just about food and shelter; it's about trust, honor, and not getting struck down by the gods. Offer respect or expect divine consequences. Hospitality isn't just a rule, it's a cosmic law. And the gods love enforcing it.
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genericpuff · 8 hours ago
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Hello! I'm someone with autism (and I'm suspecting ADHD too) who's planning multiple projects. Do you have any advice when it comes to overthinking a lot about decisions on a project? Be it the first step, planning, questioning if you're moving too fast, etc?
ouuuu I think the biggest thing I struggle with personally is just like... the overbearing weight of expectation that isn't necessarily even there. Like, expectation to do everything right all the time, to never make mistakes, to never fall through on promises, to never break any 'rules' (real or imaginary) and most of all, for everything I do to matter in some big, recognizable, memorable way - but the steps to that goal aren't defined, I just know what the goal looks like, with no clear path as to how to get there, and so it often results in me aiming at my own "best guess" and then beating myself up for not hitting the target LOL which is completely unfair to myself and my own work!
What I try to regularly remind myself of is that I am one person, who is only capable of what one person should reasonably be able to accomplish on their own, no matter how much my auDHD tries to convince me otherwise that I "should" be able to handle more than what's reasonable. And in that same sense, there isn't any more pressure on me to put out something perfect than there would be on any other person. I am not Atlas carrying the fate of the greatest work known to mankind on my shoulders - I'm a chronically online dweeb making stuff that's interesting to themselves and sharing it in the hopes that even just one other person will like it too. That isn't a diss on myself, that's me embracing what I am so that I can keep doing it better and more confidently each time.
Though I don't know if this exactly applies to you, I'm gonna say it just in case: I know when it comes to balancing multiple projects, it can be hard not to go "oh well I SHOULD be working on xyz!" but at the end of the day, you're not a failure for preferring to work on something else or needing space from projects that used to thrill you and have now become monotonous. In fact, it turns out that's how it is for most neurotypical people too! I know they make a lot of shit look easy, but even they have shit they loathe doing - they just don't have to deal with the unique hurdles of being neurodivergent.
Always remember to set boundaries with yourself and your work. Remember, just because you're really excited to work on something, doesn't mean you have to work on it all the time. I've learned to appreciate those moments when I'm stuck doing my day job and I'm excited to get home and work on my passion project, because it means I can actually look forward to it and it'll feel all the more rewarding when I finally get to do it! Pushing yourself too hard to fulfill that excitement all at once right off the bat often just means you're gonna spend it all way too quick, and that won't feel good because then you'll be left wondering where all the love went.
Set little goals for yourself. Stuff that's manageable and achievable within a reasonable amount of time. I know we tend to dive into thinking huge right off the bat, because that's what's exciting to us, but when it comes time to actually do the work, those smaller goals can keep us moving forward far better than the big, far off, ambiguous goal hiding somewhere off in the horizon. While it's good to plan ahead, not setting smaller milestones for yourself can burn you out faster because it's really hard to work towards an "end goal" that might be too far away for us to even conceptualize. The small goals allow us to reward ourselves along the way, and they do ultimately still build up to the bigger picture in the end, even if it feels like we're "not doing much". It can be anything like "get to this chapter that I can finish in the next few weeks" or "fully write out this scene that's been living in my head rent-free".
As for the overthinking... yeah, I wish I had some magic solution to that, but it's really just about learning what you enjoy doing vs. what you don't, so that you can have confidence in knowing when your creative decisions suit the project you're working on. This is something that gets better with practice and experience, but I feel like it's better tackled by reminding yourself that any project, no matter the outcome of how popular it gets or whether or not it "takes off", is an opportunity to learn and grow. Treat every project as a learning experience and you'll hopefully find the process itself more enjoyable, which will subsequently buff up your confidence. It's all a process of honing in on what works for you, what you excel at, and what you enjoy doing; while learning what doesn't work for you, what you could improve at, and what you don't enjoy doing.
Finding a writing buddy or someone who's willing to read your work and give you feedback is super helpful for this, too, because sometimes it takes another perspective to help us navigate the fog of indecision and find a solution.
And again, remember - you are one person, and you are under no obligation for any of your projects to be some perfect, infallible holy grail. You will write stuff that you will inevitably look back on with disgust and cringe. You will create projects that you will eventually outgrow or move on from. That does not invalidate the time and effort you put into those projects - it's proof of experience and growth. Embrace the growing pains, find peace in the process in whatever way you can.
It's not a question of right or wrong - it's asking yourself what feels true to you and your voice, and finding out along the way.
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