#with the additional angst of Nico eventually moving on | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jobrookekarev · 3 years ago

Photo

Just to Break Me Like a Promise

T.S. x Jolex Week 2021 hosted by @thejolexgroupchat

Chapter One of Two: In the Name of Being Honest

Words: 6974

Summary: When Jo goes into labor, she finally picks up the phone and calls Alex to tell him that she's in labor with their baby girl. As she asked him to come back she remembers the life that they had together all too well.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson.

Characters: Jo Wilson, Alex Karev, and Levi Schmitt.

Rating: General Audiences.

Additional Tags: Angst, Taylor Swift, All Too Well, The Letter, Pregnancy, Labor.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: I do not own any of Taylor Swift’s music.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo held her swollen baby bump as she pushed open the red door of the loft. She didn't know why but it seemed heavier than usual as she pushed it open. Alex was always the one to keep the door well oiled, but now he was gone, that was her responsibility. However, it wasn't easy to remember to do the things that he used to do for her now that she was on her own. Sometimes the responsibilities seemed endless and she missed having a partner to share the burden with.

The Loft was cold and dark, and it reminded her of the first night she showed it to him as they walked through the door of the Loft together. There was something about this place that drew her in. She thought that they could take it and make it into anything they wanted, and they did. As she flicked on the lights, the warm light revealed the cozy home they had and the life that they created together. That other life they had created stirred in her belly as her daughter kicked against her hand.

Jo shrugged off the coat that she wore now that summer had turned to fall and hung it up on the hook. That morning as she and Levi left for work, she wished that she had her favorite scarf, but she can’t remember where it was and suspected that she left it at Meredith's house the last time they had waffles Sunday. They still had waffle Sundays, but it wasn't the same without Alex. Nothing was the same without him.

She waddled over to the cabinet behind the couch and put her bag down along with her keys and everything else. At 39 weeks pregnant, the only thing she wanted to do each night was collapse on the couch, watch TV, and fall asleep until she gave birth. Thanks to her friends, most nights, she did. They kept her fridge well stocked, so she didn't have to worry about cooking dinner. Link came over and did her laundry every week, and Bailey and Carina had her on a light work schedule, so she was home by 6 p.m. every night. Jo loved her new mentor, and after switching from surgery to OB, she had grown to admire Carina, and the two had become close friends. Jo didn't mind that she was keeping a close eye on her baby. Except when it meant keeping a close eye on her.

Apart from that, Jo had at least one visitor a night who would come in and check on her before Levi got home from work. Some nights Jo appreciated the company, but most nights, she felt like a toddler who needed babysitting. Still, the worry of her friends was much needed, especially since she didn't have Alex to worry over her.

Jo didn't want to think about the husband that left her tonight, but it was hard not to think about him when she carried around a little part of him every day. Her daughter had been quiet on the drive home, but as Jo walked around the Loft, she was greeted with a series of movements as her daughter wiggled around.

“Hello, my sweet girl,” Jo whispered as she pressed her hand into the side of her belly as her daughter kicked against her fingers. Jo moved her hand over and pressed into the other side of her belly as her daughter lightly kicked her hand again. They played a little bit of back and forth, poking and kicking for a second before Jo rubbed her belly and walked over to the kitchen.

The latest pre-made dinner was her favorite macaroni and cheese, made by Levi, although he did put broccoli in it. After she warmed up her dinner, she walked over to the window and watched the rainfall on the parking lot while the city lights glittered in the rain. The views from the Loft certainly weren't the best in the city, but it was nice, and Jo enjoyed watching the rain.

She looked down at her rain stained car next to Alex’s Audi. She didn’t know what to do with it, so it just sat abandoned beside her own. She remembered the time they drove upstate to stay at a cabin in Bellingham for a long weekend. She controlled the music and got him to sing along to Taylor Swift. He didn’t lie and say he only knew the lyrics because of the kids who blasted it on the ped’s floor. With her, he never hid what he liked. They drove through the autumn trees on a winding road and the leaves fell like the rain. Everything was golden as the setting sun came in through the windows and the red and orange leaves were a colorful paint on the grey pavement. The memory was as vivid as ever and she could hear his laugh as he insisted on carrying her into the cabin and straight to the bed.

She pulled her sweater closer around her shoulders and held her cup of tea close to her lips, feeling the warmth of steam and the sweet scent before she took a sip. As she looked around the Loft and waddled over to the couch. They had designed the Loft in a way that it always fit the fall theme. It was always cozy and warm on the dreary winter rainy days. Which was good considering that was pretty much the majority of the weather in Seattle. This October, Jo, and Levi had put up more decorations than usual. There were pumpkins everywhere, although their carved Mini pumpkins sat next to colorful corn cobs on the kitchen table. They had strings of leaves all around them, although a lot of those were just the ones that they brought in on their shoes. The theme of the Loft had always been red, and that red fall theme had trickled over into the nursery she had set up in the corner where the dining table used to be.

She thought she would set it all up on her own bit by bit, doing a little each day, and she did. She slowly bought everything she needed, but the day the crib and the dresser were delivered, her friends surprised her with a decorating nursery party in favor of a baby shower she wouldn't let April plan for her. Meredith, Jackson, April, Link and Amelia, Maggie and Winston, and all the kids came over along with Schmitt and Taryn and Nico, and the rest of the Grey-Slone family. They all put together the furniture, folded and washed the baby clothes, and put the toys away. They got the dresser, and the changing station set up all while Jo just sat in her new rocking chair and directed traffic. Everybody else from the hospital had stopped by and delivered gifts, and at the end of the day, Jo had a full nursery ready for her daughter.

It was so wonderful she nearly cried. After Alex left, she decided to go through with her pregnancy alone. She would tell him eventually, but for now, she needed to do this by herself. She thought that she would be completely alone, but Jo was never alone. She had a family now, and even in the loneliest of times, they all banded together to take care of her. That meant more to her than anything else. It was perfect, but the one person who should have been there putting together the nursery with her wasn't there.

Jo let out a sigh as she rested her tea mug on the end table and reached for the remote that was too far away. Levi always put it on the coffee table, not the end table like Alex did, and it was almost impossible to reach from her reclined position. She leaned forward and stretched to reach it as she bruised it with her fingertips before she grabbed ahold of it.

“I’m gonna kick you out pretty soon if you keep restricting my movements, kiddo. It’s bad enough that I can’t take the stairs or walk faster than a duck,” Jo huffed as she sat back and sipped her tea.

In response, her daughter gave her a series of swift kicks to her ribs.

“Ow, okay, I get it you want out too. I know there’s not much room in there, but it’s not my fault you're so big,” Jo said as she rubbed her belly to comfort her daughter.

However, this time, her daughter didn't kick her, and instead, a painful contraction gripped her stomach. Jo and mediately sat up and tried to breathe through it. She had had a few Braxton Hicks contractions earlier in the day but nothing this strong.

“No, no, no,” Jo moaned as she breathed out and tried to get through it. Once the contraction passed, she scolded her daughter. “You can't send me into labor now. I haven't even told your father about you.”

The day they had driven up to the cabin was long gone, but a part of him was still with her. She tried to pretend that she was okay, but she wasn’t. She knew she had to tell Alex about their daughter, but even then, it wouldn't fix anything. It wouldn't bring his love back. She had gotten so close to telling him a number of times, but every time she heard his voice on the phone, she just couldn't. The day she had her 20 week scan and found out she was having a girl, she had gotten so close to telling him. In a rush of excitement, she pulled out her phone and dialed his number to tell him that they were having a daughter. But the phone just rang and rang, and when he didn't pick up. She was once again left listening to his voicemail, her excitement had turned to disappointment, and she just ended the call. Looking back now, she didn't know why she didn't tell him. She should have, but she couldn't bear the thought of not seeing his face or hearing his voice when she told him. She wanted him to pick up the phone for her, but he never did.

Jo didn't remember the rest of the day too well, but she remembered how Meredith and Link, and to her surprise, even Bailey, offered to let her stay with them as her mood darken. But Jo was determined, maintain her stability for the sake of her daughter, and she didn't want to leave the Loft. It was her home and it held so many memories of Alex. It was hard to face the memories of him after he left, but when she found out she was pregnant, she clung to every bit of him that she could, in the hope that she could give it all to her baby.

Jo closed her eyes as she sat back on the couch and listened to the news anchor go on and on as she heard the rain pelt against the windows. She sat cozy and warm on the couch as she got lost in her memory. She could see it all again. The drive up to that little town with the cabin. She remembered the wind in her hair and the music of the radio. She didn't know what it was about her smile that day, but Alex couldn’t stop staring at her. He had looked over and stared at her with that little crooked smile, and it was only because she rolled her eyes and looked back at the road that she noticed the light turn yellow. Alex had to slam on the brakes to avoid running the red light. It was a bit scary, but she laughed because he got distracted by her, and she would never get tired of the way that he looked at her like that. It was happy and painful to remember, but she remembered it all too well.

She wasn't surprised when she fell asleep, she was so tired these days, but she was woken up only a few minutes later to another contraction. This one was just as strong as the one before, and Jo tried to remember all the breathing techniques and exercises that she had learned over the past few months now that she was an OB/GYN resident. She did her breathing and set her tea down. It was still warm in her hand as she set it down on the arm of the couch. Jo tried to move into a more comfortable position and rolled onto her side. As the contraction finally passed as she let out of breath.

“Hey you, I thought we agreed you weren't coming yet,” Jo said as she put her hand over her bump and her daughter replied with gentle and soft movements as she squirmed around but pushed her arm out. “You can't come yet, please.”

Jo got up and started walking around the loft, or rather waddling. She looked at her watch, waiting for the next contraction to come, but it never did. Jo finally relaxed, letting her shoulders sag as she finished her tea. She went over to the nursery, brushing her hand along the railing of the crib as she sat down and the rocking chair. She put her feet up on the ottoman as she gently rocked back and forth. She had chosen a classic glider, but it was insanely comfortable, and both her and her baby were calmed by the rocking motion.

She reached over to the nightstand to grab the baby blanket. It was the leaf printed muslin swaddle that she intended to bring her daughter home from the hospital in. She had been carrying it around so that it would have her scent on it when her daughter was born. As she grabbed the swaddle, her hand brushed over the photo albums she had been looking at a few days ago. It was Alex's photos from when he was a kid. When his mom had visited, she had brought it with her. The album was something she had created for Alex, Amber, and Arron.

Alex had cried when he first saw it. Neither of them had many photos from when they were kids. After Helen had gotten more stable, she started sorting through the things in the house and found all the photos. She had made each of her kids, and each album was filled with photos and little descriptions of the memories of each photo. Having the photo album meant the world to him.

Jo had loved the album too and she had sat next to Helen on the couch as they all went through every photo. Alex had blushed this deep red color and tried to keep certain photos from her, but she loved every single one of them. It was filled with photos from his childhood, from when he was a baby to when he was a teenager. Helen even managed to track down a few photos of him in college when he was on the wrestling team. Jo’s favorite was from when he was a little kid, sitting in a twin-size bed with dinosaur sheets. She smiled because she loved that little chubby kid as much as she loved her tall, scruff husband. He was just so cute and her heart just melted on the spot. Helen told her stories about him in the library, how he took care of his siblings, and his successes on the wrestling team. Jo loved every second of it, especially when Alex blushed and hid in her shoulders.

That night as he laid next to her before he fell asleep, he whispered that he wanted to do that for their baby. He wanted them to have a photo album and memories of their childhood for them to look back on. It was the reason Jo had the photo album out because she had started a baby book. She had written down every detail of her pregnancy and tucked away every little ultrasound. She had no idea what she was doing, but luckily the book was all set up, and all she had to do was write everything down and add the photos. It wasn't much, but it was something that their baby would always have.

Jo knew everything about Alex’s childhood, just like he knew everything about hers. She remembered how he promised that their baby would have a better childhood than either of them did. She put a hand on her belly and felt her daughter move around. She knew that their daughter would have that good childhood that they never got, whether she had to do it alone or not. She didn't know how they would work it out, but even if she and her daughter only had Alex part-time, she knew that he would be the best father in the world. In the meantime, she could be a good enough mother to make up for the rest of it.

She had another Braxton Hicks contraction and laid back and let go of the photo album as it fell to the floor. This one lasted a little longer, but it finally passed, and Jo looked down at the photo album open on the floor. She hadn’t been able to reach anything on the floor since she hit 30 weeks, and she can't remember the last time she was able to tie her shoes. At least Levi didn't mind picking up after her as Jo decided to leave it.

She looked down at the photo album again. It was open on pictures of Alex in high school. He was so handsome in his wrestling uniform. Despite how much she tried to tell herself that she could do this on her own, she knew she never could. The memories of their life together were so vivid and fresh, and Jo was glad that she got to keep them. As the fridge came to life and hummed, she looked over and remembered the night that they danced together in the refrigerator light. It was late, and they were both on night shift and had come home to make dinner. As they cooked together, Jo put on some music, and then she grabbed his hand and pulled him in the dance with her. He laughed and kissed her, then gave in and danced with her for a few minutes before the pasta started to boil over. She could still remember the sound of his laughter and the feel of his hands on her waist. She remembered it all too well.

This time after she fell asleep, she woke up to Levi gently calling her name and shaking her shoulder. “Jo, Jo, wakey, wakey,”

Jo groaned and swatted at the hand that poked her shoulder. “Leave me alone, Schmitt.”

“Fine, I just thought that you wouldn't want to sleep all night in the rocking chair,” Levi said as she opened her eyes, looking up at him as he pulled back and shrugged.

Jo sighed as she realized she was still sitting in the glider and held out her hands to him. “Ugh, help me up, please.”

Levi pulled her up, although not without a strain on them both. He wasn't quite strong enough, and although she was reluctant to admit it, she was getting too big. After he helped her up, she walked towards the bed as she heard him pick up the photo album and put it back on that nightstand.

“Was there anything else you dropped,” Levi asked as he looked around the room and collected her dinner dishes and then the mug of tea she left on the couch.

“No, just the...” Jo trailed off with a groan as she leaned against the post as she had another Braxton Hicks contraction.

“You okay?” Levi asked, but she just squeezed her eyes shut and ignored him. He had long since learned not to touch her or interfere when she was having a Braxton Hicks, or she would bite off his head.

“Yeah,” Jo said as the contraction finally passed, and she went over to sit back down on the couch. “She's just been dramatic today. I've been having Braxton Hicks since this afternoon.”

“You've been counting them, though right,” Levi asked, suddenly worried as he came over to her.

“Yes, of course, I've been counting them. I'm not a moron, and I'm not in labor,” Jo said, waving her hand to dismiss him.

“Okay, I'm just saying your full term, so it can happen any day now,” Levi said, walking back to the kitchen. “Did you have dinner already?”

“Yes, Dad,” Jo said as she rolled her eyes. She didn't need a lecture on how close she was to her due date.

It was something everybody, especially Meredith and Link, had been annoying her about. Jo was highly aware of it as the day she would have to call Alex and tell them that she had their daughter was getting closer and closer. She had avoided him for nine months, saying that she wouldn't tell him until she had the baby. She was still on the fence about whether she wanted him there, and she delivered. She knew that he would be there for her, and he would comfort her and hold her hand and get her ice chips and let her scream and cry and yell at him for leaving her. However, other times the thought of seeing him again while she was in labor was too hard. As she made her birth plan and attended to the labor and births of countless other birth givers and babies, she wanted things to be calm. She wanted people there who would support her, and although Alex was the best person for that since he left her, things had changed, and she wasn’t sure he would be.

Her daughter wiggled and painfully stretched out inside of her pushing on her organs as Jo let out gasped and rubbed up and down her belly. She pressed down on where her daughter's feet were. She had dropped lower a few days ago, giving her a little extra room, but she and Carina estimated that she was at least 9 pounds, so regardless, she didn't have much room.

“I know,” Jo said with a sigh as she talked to her baby girl. “You're ready to come out, but I'm not ready for you yet. You got to hang tight just for a little bit longer, please, baby girl.”

Her daughter relaxed as she gently kicked her hands, and Jo smiled. However, it doesn't seem that her daughter wanted to listen to her tonight. As then she heard a pop and felt a gush of water. It was just a little trickle, and Jo blushed in embarrassment as she thought it was her bladder releasing as her daughter pushed on it. However, as she drenched her jeans, instead of smelling like pee, it smelled a little sweet, and Jo suddenly realized what happened.

“No, no, not yet, please not yet,” Jo said as she put her hand on her belly as she looked down at her lap that was soaked in her amniotic fluid.

“What's wrong,” Levi said in a panic as he came over to her. He looked down at the dark patch in her jeans as her amniotic fluid continued to soak her pants and then looked up at her. “Oy vey, you're in labor, your water broke, you're in labor.”

“Levi,” Jo said through gritted teeth as she had another contraction. “Call Meredith.”

“Yeah, okay, okay,” Levi said, taking a deep breath as he scrambled to try and find his phone. “Oy vey.”

Jo tried to relax as best she could and breathe through the contraction, going to the technique of counting in her head as she breathed in and out. As soon as the contraction passed, Jo put her hand on the sidearm of the couch and pulled herself up. She looked back at the white couch that was now stained wet and a little red with blood.

She tried to remember not to freak out seeing the blood as she knew it was normal, but she couldn't help but grieve for the ruined couch cushion. It was kind of fitting that her water broke on their couch. The couch had been through so much. They had spilled beer and pizza sauce and teriyaki on that couch, but they'd always manage to get the stains out, but this was one stain that probably would mark the fabric forever.

Jo looked over at Levi in his little space where Alex’s weights used to be. He rummaged through everything on his twin-size bed, mumbling and trying to find his phone. Jo rolled her eyes as she made her way over to her bed. She grabbed her purse from the cabinet behind the couch and her pillow. Her hospital bag and the car seat were already in her car as she figured she didn't want to lug all of it down there while she was in labor, and she was so glad she did. Now that she was in labor, she realized she wanted a few extra things. She grabbed a few snacks from the kitchen, her favorite hair scrunchie, her headphones, and of course, the baby book. Jo put everything on her bed before realizing she was still in her wet jeans and grabbed a pair of sweatpants before she went over to the bathroom.

“What are you doing,” Levi asked, his head popping up as he rushed over to her. “You don't need to push, do you? Cuz if you need to push, I can be ready. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”

“Okay, first off, you are not going to be in the room while I’m pushing. Secondly, I don't need to push ye. I just want to change out of my wet jeans,” Jo said as she put her hand on the door handle to the bathroom and shut it in his face.

“Okay, but leave the door unlocked in case anything happens,” Levi shouted as Jo kicked off her jeans and left them in a mess on the floor.

There was a reason why she didn't pick Levi to be her labor partner, and now she severely regretted Meredith’s offer to let her stay with her. If Meredith were here, she would have already helped Jo change and then helped her to the car. But Meredith’s house was so crowded with Maggie, Link, Amelia, and all the kids. During the last few weeks of her pregnancy, Jo's nesting instincts had kicked in, and she felt the need to be at the Loft and make sure that everything was ready for her daughter. Besides, knowing Link, if she went into labor when he was around, he would probably be just as panicked as Levi.

It was a struggle to put on anything that involved her feet these days. She also had to pause as she had another contraction, but she managed to put on her sweatpants before she went back out. Levi was still running around the Loft collecting things, but at least he was on the phone with Meredith. Jo went over to the bed and got her things. Jo stood in the entryway with her bag on her shoulder, and her pillow under her arm as Levi still scrambled to find his things.

“Alright, I’m gonna go wait in the car,” Jo said as she waddled over to the door, reaching for her jacket and her favorite pair of gray slippers.

“Okay, I’m coming too,” Levi said as he scooped up his things before taking her bag and the pillow from her as they made their way down to her car.

Jo put her hood up and pulled her coat around her middle, although her belly stuck out and her white T-shirt got wet. She handed her car keys to Levi as she had another contraction and paused as she leaned on the hood of the car. They were still ten minutes apart, but now that her water had broken, they were much more painful, and she watched the rain fall on the windshield, trying to let it calm her as she followed the water droplets down the glass. After it passed, she let Levi help her into the front seat as he finished putting everything in the back. Finally, he climbed into the driver seat and started up the car before he froze.

“What now,” Jo said in annoyance, gritting her teeth.

“I think I forgot my wallet upstairs,” Levi said quickly, padding his thighs and then his butt only to come up empty.

“Well, go get it,” Jo yelled at him as he quickly scrambled out of the car and ran back upstairs. “And don't forget to lock the door.”

Now that she was finally alone in the car, with only the grey skies and the rain that pitter pattered on the rooftop. Jo pulled out her phone as she figured that now was as good a time as any to call Alex. She put one hand on her belly as she pulled up his contact. Even if she got his voicemail now, she knew she had to tell him that they were having a baby.

To her surprise, she had a voicemail from Alex waiting for her. She knew she shouldn't be surprised. He left her a few voicemails in the past few months. He always called in the middle of the night or early in the morning when he knew she would be sleeping, and even if he did call during the day, she never picked up for him. Since he sent the divorce papers and the letter, he had left her a few voicemails asking for her to sign the papers and send them back, but she couldn't do that yet. She quickly pulled up the voicemail and held her phone to her ear as his familiar voice came through her phone.

“Hey Jo, I was just wondering if you had filed the divorce papers yet. I still haven't heard from you, and Meredith won't tell me anything, so I just thought I'd call and ask you. I know this is hard, this is hard for me too, but,” Alex trailed off with a sigh, and she could tell that he had pushed the phone away from his ear and put a hand over his face like he always did when he was tired and frustrated. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry I had to end things like this. I'm sorry that it's all on you to end our marriage. I could make it easier for you, and I could meet up with your lawyer or you or something, just let me know. Again I'm really sorry Jo, but I really need those papers, please. Please just call me and tell me what you want to do, okay?”

She knew Alex better than anybody. She knew about his father and his mother and Amber and Arron. She knew that he was the wrestling state champion in junior year in college. She knew that Mr. Myers who worked the night shift with his favorite foster parent. She knew that even though Amber was grown up and had a family of her own, Alex still felt the need to take care of his baby sister, which is why they visited her twice a year. She knew he loved to drive as he always said it was where he could really think. She knew that he loved Taylor Swift music, and she knew that he loved dancing but only with her. She knew that when he found out about the twins, he had panicked and he ran. It was always his first thought, and it was hers too, but she had stopped running a long time ago, and she thought he did too, but his letter was his way of running away again.

“I swear I love him, but sometimes I hate him. I know he's your father's baby girl, but he is the most frustrating person I've ever met,” Jo nearly screamed as she clenched her phone before she let out a breath and rubbed her hand across her belly. “Even when we were together. And even now, I can tell that he still loves me too. He's trying to make the divorce easy for me, but he doesn't know that I’ve been put off filing the papers because I have you. Once he meets you, he's going to be faced with the reality of what he's done. I don't know if he'll come back to us, but I want him to be there for you. I wish this was easy, baby girl, and I'm sorry it's not. You deserve parents who aren't in the midst of a divorce. You deserve parents who are so much better than this.”

Jo took a deep breath as tears collected in her eyes. She had always wanted the best for her daughter. She wanted things to be good for her. So she had ignored the truth that things weren't in the hopes that if she ignored it long enough, Alex would come back to her and things would be good again. She knew now that she was foolish to think that. Every time he had called her since he sent the letter, it felt so casually cruel, but she knew he was just being honest. She felt like every promise he ever made to her, he broke again and again. All she could hear some nights with him saying that he wasn't going anywhere except home with her, but none of the words on the letter replayed in her head, saying that he wasn't coming home. If it wasn't for their baby girl, Jo thought she would have broken down.

She let a few tears fall down her cheeks before She had another contraction. This time she let herself cry out in pain. But when the pain passed, she wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. As hard as this was and as much as it wouldn't fix anything, she had to tell Alex. He deserved to know. She wasn't going to be like Izzie and keep his daughter from him. She couldn't do that to either of them, but she couldn't help but feel like she was throwing a bomb into the middle of his life.

Still, she picked up her phone and dialed his number again. He was the first name in her contacts and last call that she had gotten. So she wasn't surprised when it rang for a little while, but she was surprised when he picked up.

“Hi Jo,” Alex said with such sadness in his voice as if it physically pained him to say her name.

“Alex,” Jo breathed out his name despite the pain. He always filled her with a sense of relief. Jo took a deep breath as she looked at the clock, and she only had a few more minutes until her next contractions hit, and she wanted to get it all out to him.

“Look, about the divorce papers…” Alex started to say.

“Alex, I can't file them, not now, just not now, because I'm pregnant. I'm having our baby girl, right now actually. I'm, I'm in labor, and I can't file the divorce papers because they only allow family members in the delivery room right now, and you're my family, and I need you. Our baby girl needs you.”

Alex was silent on the other end of the line, and Jo was a little grateful for that because her next contraction hit, and she let out a moan as she tried to breathe through the pain again. She leaned forward and put her head on her arms as she leaned against the dashboard. She could hear Alex calling her name, but in the midst of her contraction, she couldn't respond until finally, it passed.

“Jo, Jo, are you still there? Are you alright? Is, is she alright,” Alex begged her for answers, and she could tell that he was moving around in the background. “Please talk to me!”

“I'm fine and she's fine too,” Jo said, still a little breathless from her contraction. “She's perfect actually, she's healthy, and she's strong, but my contractions are really strong too.”

“How far apart are they? Has your water broken yet? How long have you been having contractions? Are you at the hospital?” Alex asked a series of questions as he rambled off in a panic, just like she didn't know he would.

“Alex, stop,” Jo cut him off before he started asking her more questions. “My contractions are ten minutes apart, and my water broke a few minutes ago. So I've only been having them for a couple of hours. It's still really early, I can tell, but I'm headed to the hospital now. Levi's driving me, or he's supposed to be.”

“Schmitt is driving you to the hospital?” Alex asked as Jo looked up to the window to see him finally coming out the door of the apartment building and rushing over to the car.

“It's a long story. A lot has changed since you left, Alex,” Jo said in a whisper, so much had changed.

“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered too.

“Okay, ready to go. Did you call Meredith?” Levi asked, breaking their little bubble of silence as he got in the car.

“Just drive,” Jo said, putting her hand over the receiver as Levi pulled out of the parking lot before she went back to her call with Alex. “I'm headed to Grey-Sloan right now. I umm, I have Meredith and Carina, and they’re going to be with me through my labor but, but I want you there too.”

“Of course, of course, I'm going to be there. I'll be there as soon as I can, and you can scream and cry and yell at me or just hold my hand, and I'll feed you ice chips or something. I'll get you whatever you want, Jo,” Alex said in the same voice that he used to promise her the world with, and although she knew she shouldn't, she believed that he would keep his word this time.

“Okay,” Jo said with a nod, tears springing in her eyes. He was coming back to her, to her and their baby.

“Okay, do you want me to stay on the line with you until I get there?” Alex offered, god, he was so sweet, but Jo didn't know what she wanted.

“Don't you have to catch a plane or something?” Jo asked, trying not to hold her breath as she waited for his answer.

“No, actually I'm in Chehalis with…” Alex trailed off, not wanting to say her name, and Jo was glad because she didn't want to hear it. “I'm just, I'm in Chehalis, and I can be there in an hour if traffic isn't too bad.”

“You’ll have to go through Tacoma and the traffic in Tacoma is always terrible,” Jo said, closing her eyes and her tears finally fell down her cheeks as Levi drove through the downtown streets. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes as she looked at the road ahead of them. “Okay, just why don't you just get here as soon as you can, and I'm going to call Meredith, but not before I yell at Levi's for taking the wrong street.”

“I'm not taking the wrong street. This is the best way to get to the hospital,” Levi insisted as he gripped the wheel and painfully went this exact speed limit as he cautiously drove.

“No, you're on 4th ave, but you should have hopped on Highway 99. It’s faster!” Jo insisted as she pointed at the map he had up on his phone showing the option for the route she wanted.

“Yeah, but it's dangerous to drive on the highway,” Levi protested as he stayed the course. “And this is the way that I take when I ride my bike, so this is the way we're going.”

Jo threw her head back against the headrest and groaned as she had another contraction. She tried to breathe again as she gripped the door handle as if it was Alex’s hand. She didn't want to go through this alone. She wanted him here now.

“That’s it, deep breaths, Jo, you're doing great,” Alex's gentle voice came through the phone as he was there for her. “Just keep breathing and trying not to kill Schmidt. He should be careful he's got precious cargo.”

Jo took comfort in his words as she let out a breath and the contraction finally passed. “Our daughter is going to be so excited to meet you, so just get here as soon as you can, please, Alex.”

“I'm excited to meet her too,” Alex said, and for the first time since he left her, he sounded happy. “I can't wait to meet her, and I can't wait to see you again, so I'm going to hang up and hop in the car right now. I'll be there as fast as I can, okay?”

“Okay,” Jo said with another nod as she put a hand on her belly and Alex hung up.

His voice was still ringing in her ear as she remembered it all too well. Yet, soon she would hear his voice as he sat beside her and supported her as she delivered their baby girl, and she wouldn't have to remember because she would have him back. If only for tonight, if only for her baby girl.

…………………………………��………………………………

AN: Part 2 is coming soon!

#jo wilson #alex karev #grey's anatomy #jolex #TSJolexWeek21 #otp: home and heart #grey's anatomy fanfic #my work #my writing #my fanfiction #my photos #my edits

21 notes · View notes

le-amewzing · 5 years ago

Text

Tic-Tac-Toe

Not-quite-slow burn Gwico. B)

Fic: "Tic-Tac-Toe" [FFN] [AO3]

Pairings/Characters: Gwen/Nico di Angelo, Dakota, with cameos from Reyna, Hazel, Piper, Frank, Jason, Clovis/Lacy, & Hades & Persephone

Rating: K+

Words: ~4,860

Additional info: romance, friendship, angst, 3rd person POV

Summary: Nine instances when Nico refuses to call her "Gwen." He doesn't always succeed.

Tic: O

It is after Nico first appears at Camp Jupiter. He keeps to himself, skulking about in shadows. There's not a single person who doesn't wonder what he's up to.

Only after he returns one day with Hazel in tow do he and Gwen officially meet. Reyna decides that Hazel will go to the Fifth Cohort, and she urges the Pluto siblings to follow her.

"This is Gwendolyn, centurion," Reyna says. She eyes Dakota warily because he's as drunk on Kool-Aid as ever. "And this is…Dakota."

"Call me 'Gwen,'" the daughter of Ceres says.

Nico nods to her, but he looks as though he won't call her that. Heck, he looks as though he won't call her anything. It's not that he hates her from the start. He simply just isn't interested in anything. He's just at that age where people don't yet fascinate him, and maybe he hasn't even discovered girls yet.

Whatever, Gwen thinks. He'll learn my name eventually.

Tac: O

He has been in New Rome for months. Well, that's not entirely accurate. He's Pluto's ambassador, so Nico chooses when he's needed at camp.

Gwen wonders if he should be allowed to go to the Senate, since he's still an outsider. She hasn't formed an opinion of him yet. All she knows is that she finds him good-looking, and she doesn't know if that's bad or not because he seems younger than her…and other times he doesn't.

Dakota nudges her arm as they head to supper. "Don't look now," he says, and it's one of the few times in which Dakota appears to be "sober."

Still, just as any normal person would do, Gwen looks and sees Frank chatting with Hazel. The two of them are coming over to join them, and trailing behind Hazel is Nico. Gwen thinks she feels butterflies in her stomach, and she wishes they'd go away.

"Fifth Cohort only," Dakota says to him. The son of Bacchus lets Frank and Hazel pass, but he bars Nico's way.

Gwen shoots her old friend a look. "Dakota, the mess hall welcomes all, cohort or not. Let's not make war at dinner, okay?"

He grunts at her, but his beef with her dissolves as a wind nymph passes him his favorite drink.

Gwen turns to Nico and moves down to sit beside him. "Sorry about him," she apologizes. "He can get a bit cranky sometimes."

Nico shrugs. Just when the girl thinks he won't talk to her, he mumbles, "Thanks, Gwendolyn."

Her heart beats a little faster at that. So it's not "Gwen," but at least it's something.

Toe: X

Nothing surprises him anymore. Not much, at least. Okay, so seeing Percy turn up at Camp Jupiter made him raise his eyebrows, and the fact that Percy vaguely remembered him was a little disconcerting. But Nico's seen a lot in the world and in the Underworld.

So when the legionnaires hold their War Games, Nico halfheartedly participates. It's not uncommon for most to be injured, and on the rare occasion someone dies.

But it seems off when the Fifth Cohort manages a victory. Alas, the victory has a price and Gwen is killed. The augur, Octavian, looks as though he's cut open himself and not one of his stuffed animals, he's so terrified of what he's done.

It turns out to be all right, though. Gwen comes back to life. Sure, Ares—er, Mars—appears and issues a quest to Percy, Hazel, and Frank, but all Nico can think about is how Gwen should've been dead.

He knows there's a problem, and he stays up the entire night, thinking of what to do.

The next morning, Nico is still forming a plan, but he must pause to attend an emergency Senate meeting the praetor called. On the way there, Nico spots Percy—but then he spots Gwen, and he wonders if she left out anything she told the gathered crowd yesterday about her finding a way out of Hades. He makes his way to her…but what to say?

"Hey," he says, settling for the familiar comfort of the word.

She keeps walking. Maybe she didn't hear him or thought he was talking to someone else.

"Ah, Gwendolyn," he calls, not too loud but loud enough that she should certainly hear him.

She keeps walking. Nico might not be the expert on manners, but even he knows it's rude to walk away like that.

He grits his teeth, annoyed. "Gwen!" he beckons more urgently.

Finally she slows and turns—with a bright, cheery (if not triumphant) grin on her face. "Oh! Hi, Nico."

It's the first time he really blushes because of a girl. She doesn't call him "Pluto's ambassador," "outsider," or any other number of names. It's a nice feeling.

Tic: X

Right before Percy, Hazel, and Frank set out, Nico develops a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He chocks it up to not wanting Hazel to go on the quest. It's bad enough that he lost his older sister, but now he feels responsible for Hazel because he brought her back and now he's the older sibling.

He moves to fall into the shadows when someone sees him. Nico curses quietly to himself and steps out into the lights of New Rome's streets. A part of him hopes it's Gwen if not one of the others. Gwen, he feels he can handle.

But it's not her.

Instead, it's Dakota, her longtime friend. He grimaces upon spotting Nico, but he leaves Nico with nowhere to go. He's huge, a more fit form of Mr. D.

Nico pauses to remind himself, No, not Mr. Dionysus. But Bacchus. That's a lot scarier.

"Where are you goin', Pluto boy?" Great. The Kool-Aid's slurring his words again.

"Nowhere," Nico fibs. He's not looking for a fight, but this guy hasn't liked him from the start, and it's been a while now. Nico muses that perhaps this is what Percy deals with sometimes…or, at least, he used to before his memories got wiped.

Dakota shakes his head. "Why do you stick around? Hazel manages fine without you."

The son of Death opens his mouth to answer.

"She manages fine without you."

Nico gets the feeling they're talking about another girl now. Gwen's face flashes in his mind, but he can't fathom why. Mastering his fluster, he asks, "Which 'she'?"

Dakota snorts. "I hafta point it out to you…? Gwen, of course!"

"Gwendolyn?" he asks dumbly. There's no other Gwen, though.

"'Gwendolyn?' 'Gwendolyn?'" Dakota mocks. "Gods, you're such a kid! Just how old are you, anyway? Every time you walk by, Gwen's attention is zapped by your 'mysteriousness.'" He adds air quotes to the last word with his fingers. Then he snarls—boy, he's a nasty drunk.

Still, Nico's ears are ringing. He was beginning to feel just slightly close to Gwen, so maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Maybe she wanted to be his friend, too.

"Friend"? his conscience chides him. Uh, you have realized that she's an attractive warrior, haven't you?

Nico's skin grows warm, and he pushes mental images of Gwen from his mind. Her hair the color of freshly fallen leaves, her eyes the color of the softly-churned earth, her smile the first encouragement anyone would need to complete a task—he puts it all aside because Gwen is not there. She is not there right now but elsewhere preparing to leave the cohort and to move into a dorm because she wants to attend New Rome's college. She is not there, but Dakota is.

"Look," the other guy says, taking Nico's silence as true confusion, "just leave her alone, okay? And don't call her 'Gwendolyn.' No one calls her that." There's a threat in his eyes, but Nico quietly snorts. Even if Dakota were the vampire he so resembled…Nico's seen far worse. He can handle Dakota.

"Right. Leave Gwen alone. Got it." He waits for Dakota to nod and leave, and then he slips into the shadows, thinking, Like hell I'll listen to you.

Maybe his ears play a trick on him, but he swears he hears Gwen giggle approvingly of his defiance. He smirks.

Tac: O

He's been absent more often as of late. It makes Gwen frown to think of that. It makes it hard to focus in school. Worst of all, it makes her worry.

What does he do? Where does he go? Whom does he see?

Her heart gives a little twinge at that last thought.

After another day of summer classes, Gwen retires to her room. She likes her dorm-mates and it's nice to have a room to herself, but she feels a little jealous of those who don't live in the dorm. Those are the kids who are legacies. They've got both parents and sometimes grandparents, and siblings. Gwen doesn't have her dad anymore, and Ceres has been silent for a long while now. Gwen loves her friends, but it's just not the same.

She's meandering around the Via Praetoria while she thinks this, and up ahead someone stops before her.

"Gwendolyn," Nico breathes. He's surprised, as though he wasn't expecting to see her so soon.

Hearing her name like that, Gwen feels warm. …see? She loves her friends, but it's just not the same. With Nico around, she feels a hole in her that she hadn't known of before, that only he can fill.

He smirks, but his heart is half in it. "I was just wondering what you were up to."

Her heart leaps at that. "Why?" she asks, and she hopes her excitement is contained.

"Well…" His partial smirk fades into a frown. "Hazel's away, and I thought it wise to tell someone that I'll be away, too."

Just like that, Gwen's heart sinks. "What? Why? Where?"

His long legs—oh, she never noticed that he's a few inches taller than her—close the distance between them. "I have something to look into, related possibly to the others' quest. I'm telling you because…you are close to me." His eyes seem to tack on, "You actually give a damn about me." "But I can't tell you where. It's too dangerous," he finishes.

The knowledge is overwhelming. Gwen can do nothing but gape at him. She reaches out and touches the oversized collar of his worn aviator jacket, checking to make sure that he's still there and hasn't disappeared yet. Her fingertips register that, yeah, he's present, but she walks forward as if ready to walk through him (which is morbidly funny, because she knows the "Ghost King" is a moniker of his). He opens his arms not to stop her and push her away…but instead to wrap around her. The gesture initially is awkward, and a part of Gwen wonders in the back of her mind if he was even ever comfortable hugging Bianca when she was still alive. But then he relaxes with her so close to him.

"Gwendolyn," he breathes again, into her hair. It's like a kiss, and Gwen feels warm again because his calling her by her full name has become a kind of private thing for them, and when did they get this close, and how could she not have noticed that before, and��

And the moment grows cold, for he falls through her fingers, dissolving into the large shadow beneath them. Gwen cries out.

How cruel! How awful of him! He obviously doesn't care enough for her to avoid putting himself in danger!

And, yet, the colder Gwen grows in his absence, the more his voice echoes in her brain and the more the love in her heart grows.

Toe: O

That went brilliantly, didn't it?

He hasn't the strength to chastise himself properly. Nico is trying very hard to stay alive, and remembering to eat one of Persephone's pomegranate seeds while lost in his death trance already has become a chore, even though he's only on his second seed. Gods, had he not been unsure if his stepmother had been about to discover him in her garden, he would've grabbed more! Then again, he hadn't really been thinking.

No, because if he had given it some more thought, then he would've realized how idiotic it had been to go after these twin giants by himself.

He frowns. Even if he had told someone his plan, he knows he stubbornly would've refused their help. His fatal flaw would've prevented their help, because he knows there's one grudge he holds against the entire world: He wants to prove his usefulness so that no one, human and god alike, can think ever again that he's just some useless little kid that needs protection. He's not dead weight.

Nico internally laughs, and a part of him warms as he thinks that Gwen would find his unintentional pun funny, too. …then he thinks how dangerous it is to stay warm right now. Staying warm will use up his energy faster, and he doesn't have enough seeds to last much longer.

Still, when Nico eats his third seed, he can't help thinking of all he'll never see again, like Percy, Annabeth, and Camp Half-Blood… He even has a kind thought for Camp Jupiter, as well as for Hazel, Frank, Reyna…

But before he resumes his trance, the only name on his lips is "Gwendolyn."

Tic: X

He's been rescued.

He's lost two of his closest friends to Tartarus.

He stands a fighting chance now.

He must lead the others to possible death in Greece.

He'll be able to see Gwen again.

But he can't see her right now.

Nico squeezes his eyes shut, tightly, as he tries to wrap his head around all that has just happened. Yes, Leo might be the one controlling the trireme, but they're all looking to Nico for guidance. Even Jason, one of Camp Jupiter's greatest, is looking to Nico like a lost puppy following a stranger home.

"Are we really heading right for Epirus right now?" Hazel asks quietly. They've left Leo at the helm, deciding to gather in the little dining area below deck.

"Yes. No…" Nico sighs. "No, we probably should stay on course."

"But what about Camp Half-Blood?" Piper asks, worried. "Part, if not all, of the Twelfth Legion is heading there to attack. They're probably there by now." Her tan skin looks pale and she's not sitting very close to Jason. She looks ready to scamper upstairs to join Leo, and Nico can't blame her. The others are still Roman, no matter how split Jason, like Percy, seems. By comparison, Nico feels relieved for once that neither camp made him feel very welcome.

No, wait, that's not true. Camp Half-Blood was the first place he'd felt normal. On the other hand, Camp Jupiter was Hazel's and Gwen's home.

But that wasn't entirely true either, because Gwen is still in New Rome, but she isn't one of those attacking Camp Half-Blood. No, that'd be Octavian, and Dakota, and even Reyna, though Hazel told him that she's seemed reluctant to head east.

"Camp Half-Blood can hold its own, trust me," Nico assures her. "Besides, Octavian's not that strong, and Reyna doesn't have her heart in it. Dakota and maybe some of the others are cause for worry. Then again, who know which fighters are really joining the fray? Gwen"—it's so strange to call her that as everyone else does—"left to attend school. Maybe some of the others who are older left, too."

"Good point," Frank chimes in. "Besides, Gwen is pretty strong herself. And she was always good at rallying the Fifth Cohort together…" His reminiscing earns him some comfort from Hazel.

Even Jason seems to remember that about her. "Good thing they're not sending a troop of Gwens our way, then."

Nico has to turn his head to hide his chuckle. He'll definitely have to share that with her after this side quest. …if, of course, they survive. And, once again, Nico closes his eyes, reminding himself to handle the present, because—without it—there will be no future to enjoy.

Tac: X

She can't pretend that the world has stopped outside her lecture hall.

New Rome has been abuzz for days. Those of the legion who left to attack Camp Half-Blood still are not back, and the sky and earth look worse than they did before, when the Second Titan War was in full swing.

Gwen curses herself. What a time to retire from the legion! There needs to be a bigger number of legionnaires left behind to protect New Rome. But, also…

There needs to be someone to reason with the Romans and point out that the Greek demigods aren't enemies. They need to join forces, because there are much nastier things out there.

She also worries about Nico. With no word from him and knowing a bit about his relationship with the Greek camp, she feels that he must be there, protecting his friends' home.

That settles it.

She gets it into her head that he is there. Though she knows it will look like a betrayal to New Rome, she knows she must fight alongside Nico and help him make everyone understand that they cannot remain divided.

Early one evening, Gwen packs a few essentials and grabs a sword from the armory. No one notices when one demigod leaves the valley, so Gwen has an easy time making it to the outside world.

Though she can still ask the grass to cushion her whenever she falls, she finds it's harder now to get most plants to listen to her. Too many of them have sided with Gaea, though at least they're not looking to harm a daughter of Ceres unless absolutely necessary, and for that the redhead is grateful. She asks any field for the quickest route to New York, and she even finds some help. Some of the tamer grasses offer to push her along. So Gwen runs on the fields and avoids pavement, sand, and open patches of dirt lest Gaea linger there.

Despite being slowed by the crops in the Midwest, Gwen arrives after a few days' travel. Lo and behold, the Romans are still fighting the Greeks. She's momentarily elated to see Dakota, Reyna, and a few other friends still alive.

But urgency wins. "Stop it!" she yells, drawing her sword. "Stop this unnecessary fighting!"

No one notices her. She runs forward, her energy depleted but still extant in dregs despite her journey. Gwen scans the sea of purple and orange for the flash of gold armor and dark hair. Maybe, maybe if someone can get Reyna to see reason, then this can stop. And who better to get Reyna to see the light than Gwen, a friend who joined the legion at the same time she did?

"Stop fighting each other!!" Gwen bellows. To her left, she blocks a pilum. To her right, she stills a Celestial Bronze sword. Everywhere, demigods are growing confused as the lone girl not only demands an end to this conflict but has the chutzpah actually to stop it.

In actuality, Gwen is not the only distraction. Above head, a familiar-looking Greek trireme appears, and, as it comes closer, Gwen can see not seven but eight familiar faces. Wherever the chosen seven and Nico have been doesn't matter, because they're back.

The fight continues, though, in spite of the distractions. Only now Percy, Annabeth, Jason, and Hazel are adding their voices to Gwen's and pleading with everyone to stop.

The Argo II has almost landed as Gwen runs to it, to Nico. All the energy she'd lost is returning as the features on his face become more and more distinct. Her worries fade as she notices how much more mature, more determined, stronger he looks. Sure, he looks a little worn, too, but don't they all right now?

"Nico!" she calls, her excitement getting the better of her.

His dark eyes are fixed on her in a flash of surprise and relief—but then panic takes him and something feels off. "GWEN!" he hollers.

She doesn't care that there are others around. She would've loved to hear him call her "Gwendolyn" one more time.

It's the last wish on her mind as the fighting finally comes to a halt because—in a morbid, ironic turn of events—she falls with another pilum through her chest.

This time, she stays dead.

Toe: O

Following the war, there are a lot of souls to sort in the Underworld. In fact, there are so many demigods alone that Nico ends up helping both his father and Charon.

It's tough, handling the demigods. Nico doesn't know any of them, but…those he does know…

A sleepyhead of a boy waits in line. He yawns, and Nico knows it's Clovis, once the leader of Hypnos Cabin. Beside him is a young girl who clings to him, afraid of their surroundings. Though they're not solid, the girl's pigtails had been blonde, Nico notices. So, this is Lacy, one of Aphrodite's daughters.

"I'm scared," Lacy whispers to Clovis as the line moves up one.

"Don't be. You fought bravely, really," Clovis assures her. "Lacy… When you took that hit for me, I…" He frowns. "I'd never been so awake in my life."

Lacy frowns, too, and she suddenly doesn't look so young—the downside of being a demigod: being forced to grow up too quickly. "At least we won," she murmurs bitterly, but her hard edge disappears as Clovis hugs her tightly. The line moves up by another soul, and he kisses the top of her head to calm her.

Nico opens his mouth, but his mind's blank; he doesn't know what he could say even remotely to them. So he turns and walks away. At least he can sympathize with them, though he can't empathize with their loss because at least they have each other.

The son of Death takes a break from his duties to roam his father's domain. It's been a few months since they rescued Percy and Annabeth, got the Romans and Greeks to stop fighting, and defeated Gaea. Still, in all this time, Nico has not seen Gwen's soul once. Charon hasn't seen a girl fitting her description at all, and Hades has told his son day in and day out that Gwen has not been judged and therefore not sent anywhere.

It's a kind of cruel thing. It's not as though Gwen managed to come back from the dead again. If she had, then Nico wouldn't be wracking his brains trying to figure out where she'd gone. But he can sense it. Just as he knew that Percy and Annabeth hadn't died in falling to Tartarus, he knows that Gwen is dead.

Nico sighs. If only she could've found an escape route from Hades again…

At that thought, he decides to check all Doors of Death. It's become a habit, making sure they're closed, because he really doesn't want anything bad escaping here ever again.

That's when he hears something at one door, and he panics. Nico draws his Stygian Iron sword, only half ready for whatever he may face.

But he's not ready to see through the soul of a girl with short red hair and a purple T-shirt.

That thing in his chest—right, right, his heart…—sinks and rises at the same time. "Gwendolyn…?" he whispers, his voice cracking.

She turns. It is Gwen, his Gwen, sitting atop a medium-sized boulder, staring at the locked door. Her eyes are on him now, and she looks so sad. "Nico."

He has the urge to rush forward, but he stops himself because it'd be useless. He'd go right through her.

She faces the door again. "I'm a coward."

"What? No. Why do you think that?"

"Because I've been hiding from you, waiting for the moment when this thing opens…" Gwen shakes her head. "I don't want to be dead, but that seems to be the only option." Her smile is brittle as she glances at him. "I wanted to return to you."

Nico goes to her and cups her cheek, and it's almost as though she's really there. That hurts his heart. He almost tells her, "You can no longer return," but he says nothing, because it's pointless to state the obvious.

"What happened, after?" she asks.

"We convinced everyone to work together, and then Percy and Jason yelled at the gods to get it together and help." Nico pauses. "Gaea's not dead; she won't ever be. But she's dormant, and should be for a very long time."

"Good." She nods as if she has to agree. "So…who killed me?"

He fidgets on his feet. He loves her so much; he doesn't want to expose her to any more pain. "Gwendolyn, don't—"

"Who, Nico? Not Octavian again, I hope."

He closes his eyes. It hurts him to watch her shock as he confesses, "Dakota."

"Really?" Her eyes are so clear that they're see-through. He can barely meet them.

"He didn't mean to. For a moment, the Bacchus in him took over, and in his madness he thought he was taking care of a traitor. But he's been in pieces ever since—or so I've heard from Hazel. Reyna is the only one who gets him to see reason sometimes." It feels strange, defending a guy that never liked him, but Nico understands that feeling of betrayal and how hard it is to handle. In addition, Nico feels he owes Dakota a bit, for looking out for Gwen when she didn't know, because even if Dakota had loved her once, he at least cared enough about her to try scaring Nico away.

Gwen quiets, and the silence is like heavy air wrapping around them. "Oh," she finally says before she grows quiet again, and then: "I always wondered if maybe he was jealous of you."

Nico looks at her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Gwen shrugs. "No one's ever held my attention so much before."

He's flattered, but he grimaces. "Now what?"

She stands and…floats toward him. "Now you tell me you love me and take me to meet your dad. I can't stare at that door any longer, Nico."

This trip to see Hades is the longest one, it seems. With every step forward, Nico's legs feel more and more leaden, and the absurd thought crosses his mind to drink from Lethe after Gwen's judgment. Maybe then Nico finally can have some peace, because he's sure he won't have any knowing that he and Gwen can never be together.

Persephone points out the two demigods to Hades as they enter his chambers. Gwen's interest perks. Ah, right. She's sort of Persephone's sister, isn't she, being a daughter of Ceres?

Hades sees them, and his wife whispers something in his ear. He nods and motions for them to stop near his throne. "Nico…" He's pained as he continues, "Please leave the room."

It's a shock. Nico's been around for most other judgments. To be excluded from Gwen's…well, it's just unfair. "But—" he protests.

"No buts," Hades says, and he dares to order one of the Furies to escort Nico out. Nico fights her and tries to shadow travel, but she's there every time he reappears, so he's carried away at last.

Near the mouth of the Underworld, near Styx, Nico stares at the unknown souls with a hollow chest. He can't bring himself to care anymore, about anything.

That was it.

It was Nico's end.

To have his hope in the form of Gwen ripped away from him like that… Nico may as well be one of the souls ferried by Charon.

No, that'd be cruel to Hazel. Then again… Hazel has others, plenty of others who love her, Frank at the top of that list. Bianca had left him, so Hazel would, too, and now Gwen was leaving, as well, for good. It'd do him no good to visit her in the Underworld, because it'd be a constant reminder that she didn't belong there.

Nico curses the gods, the Greeks, and the Romans. Why? Why did Gwen have to die to finally bring the two camps together and to gain the gods' help?

A small part of him has hope, though, and that small part can't be killed. Look at all the luck Percy and Annabeth have had—surely Nico will be allowed even a sliver of that luck? So he waits. And waits. And waits.

He waits some more.

He contemplates the possibility of drowning in either Styx or Lethe.

He decides to see the outside world once more before he cuts all ties with it, because it is full of people who only ever betray him—

"Oh, Nico." Gwen's face lights up as she throws her arms around his neck beside the Hollywood sign. "You're never going to believe this! Pluto said something about having done this before, for a guy named Odysseus and his wife, Eurydice, and my sister convinced him and—"

"Shut up, Gwendolyn," Nico says, and he is careful not to kiss the life out of his twice-dead love.

WELL. I'm glad I finished this finally! I had a lot of fun writing it… Dakota the not-really bad guy… Mentions of fav pairings, like Clovis/Lacy (Clacy), Dakota/Reyna, Franzel, Percabeth (of course)… I also liked the circle ending, where Nico initially couldn't have cared less—but then all he cares about is Gwen. The Tic-Tac-Toe theme shows that Nico wins the Tic-Tac-Toe game, because his Os win (try it! Write it out, *lol*). And lastly, the thing about legacies and maybe Gwen joined at the same time as Reyna—I really want Rick to tell us more about legacies and if New Rome mainly consists of legacies, and it's just a nice thought to give Reyna a friend, 'cause I kind of like her and do feel for her… :') And it's my headcanon that Gwen is a redheaded, brown-eyed daughter of Ceres.

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

2019 note: Huh. :O Rereading this 7 yrs later, there weren't many edits to make, and yet I do find that I prefer the later scenes to the early ones. I think it's the same situation as with "Homecoming"—I'd like to rework some things someday, but I currently have nothing better to offer, and the story still flows well as it stands and has its fans. Alas. I worried, too, about this possibly reading as some Dakota hate, but I think Nico's summation of what happened after helped? Bc I do love Dakota, too. ;w; And, regardless of which Nico ship I'm writing, I would always headcanon that the cruelest thing to happen to him would be to lose his love the way he does here. Thank gods for the Odysseus inspiration! :D

#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #gwico #gwendolyn (pjo)#nico di angelo #fanfic #mew writes too much #back to my 1st ship in the series

5 notes · View notes