#with that!!!!! & she seemed 2 really understand that

[schizosupport]

While I understand where you might be coming from, I think you fundamentally misunderstand OP's point, while lacking awareness of what it can be like to be a patient in the psychiatric system.

You acknowledge yourself that if you have a bad doctor, you need to change to a better one. But you also say to always trust your doctor, or you won't get better. These two statements can't coexist, because if you trust your doctor no matter what, you won't be able to protect yourself from bad doctors "and change to a new one" or whatever else protecting yourself might entail.

Now, OP isn't actually saying not to trust a doctor that you have found to be good and helpful and trustworthy. What OP is saying, is that placing blind trust in a bad psychiatrist can lead to real life harm for psychiatric patients.

Psychiatrists have systemic power over their patients, and they can both force you into treatments, and deny you treatments, based on the information you share with them. I'll give a couple examples.

1) A friend of mine who had been struggling severely and unable to work for the past year due to stress and increasing panic attacks/flashbacks finally went to see a psychiatrist at a hospital. The first person she talked to was really nice. She asked about drugs and my friend admitted that she occasionally smokes weed to calm down from the very symptoms that she's seeking help for. The psych was understanding. A couple interviews later she gets a new doctor who has a different opinion. And skip to two years later where the system is still denying her care bc "she has a drug addiction" while the drug addiction clinic is denying her care bc "that doesn't count as a drug addiction" and "she would stop smoking weed if someone cared for her glaring mental problems". She is not alone, this is a very common scenario across the world. If you admit to ever touching drugs you may very well be denied care indefinitely. The community recommendation in my country is to never admit to any substance use, even to people in the system who seem understanding, because others in the system may be less so, and you may never get the care you need. As you can imagine, this gets very complicated for people where the drug use is also a large issue on its own.

2) Another friend of mine went to get assessed for adhd. They said they couldn't finish the assessment bc she was too disorganized, and she was sent to be assessed for a schizo spec disorder instead. She was desparate to get any diagnosis at all bc she really really needed help. Here she was given a schizotypal diagnosis. After this she was being treated for this with antipsychotics. They didn't do anything good for her, in fact they made her worse. She tried to ask to be reassessed for ADHD but was denied bc it was seen as a delusion. Her gender identity (which she had been out and in treatment for, for years) was seen as a delusion, and the psychiatric system blocked her from getting the necessary paperwork to get surgery. Eventually she went private sector and found a good psychiatrist who diagnosed her with ADHD. With adhd meds things started improving, she also got her letter from the private psych and got her surgery. (And she's doing so much better!!) But if she hadn't had the means to go private, then her psychiatrists would've been able to block her from the right treatment and life saving surgery indefinitely. This is an example of what can happen from being honest about even quasi-psychotic symptoms, and the ways psychiatrists often have power to block and gatekeep certain treatments from you based on how THEY perceive you and your reality.

3) A third friend of mine is schizophrenic and on a treatment order. She hasn't done anything criminal, but where she lives you can be put on a treatment order simply if a panel of psychiatrists decide that if you don't get forced treatment, you might deterioate. So for a long time she had injections of a medication that was not helping, but that was causing severe side effects, forced on her. This is one of many examples of psychiatrists wielding systemic power over their patients.

Many psychiatric patients fear being honest with their care providers, because it can lead to forced hospitalization, forced medication, or it can lead to denial of care and treatment. This is not an ungrounded fear. These are things that happen to people. Sure, some may fear this beyond what's realistic in their situation, so anxiety can mix with this, but it is a real thing to be aware of.

And as I've attempted to illustrate with these examples, it's not as simple as "if you get a bad doctor, get a new one". This is often not an option, there's often a paper trail that follows you from doctor to doctor, and even the first doctor you meet have power over you, and can potentially make your situation worse if they are bad at their job.

I know several people who have been severely overmedicated and wrongfully medicated. One person I knew was taking 10 different medications at once, including heavy duty antipsychotics despite not having experienced or being diagnosed with psychosis, and benzodiazepines on a completely irresponsible regiment that got her severely physically addicted. She didn't start to get better, before she slowly weaned off all these substances against her doctor's recommendation.

In an ideal world we could always trust our doctors, and be honest from the get-go, with the assumption that they know what they're doing and won't force or deny care.

But in the reality we live in, doctors have systemic power over patients, and not all doctors are good. So therefore it is in fact important to advocate for yourself, seek out information independent from your own doctor, talk to others in the community about their experiences, and yes. To be tactical about what you do and do not share with your psychiatrist. And when it does fuck up, you may very well need a lawyer. For example if you want to sue for wrongful treatment, overuse of coercion, or to get you off a treatment order that's destroying your life.

I really recommend doing some research into the kind of abuse and neglect that unfortunately takes place in the psychiatric system, before speaking so confidently on the matter.

Psychiatry differs fundamentally from oncology in its views on patients' rights to autonomy, and in the level of power granted to your doctor to control your life. But that said, most of us are not experts on oncology either. Which means that in reality it can be pretty hard to know whether your oncologist is good, and whether you need a new one. And somatic medicine is not free of bias, abuse and neglect either.

So TLDR, OP isn't saying never to seek help or not to trust your doctor with anything, she's saying to be aware of the potential pitfalls and to be tactical in your approach and to advocate for yourself, and not to trust psychiatric authority blindly.

That's not ableism, that's realism.

I want and need more discussions of how, when you're labeled mentally ill, a psychiatrist is in fact an authoritative figure with systemic power over your life and autonomy who might in some cases turn out to be bigoted or abusive. Most of us know that statements like "you should always tell the cops everything! They just want to help you" are harmful, and yet I constantly see posts telling people to trust their psychs with everything if they want to get better without any mentions of what can happen and how to protect yourself if it turns out your psych isn't a good guy

[lawoffgirls]

⊹ ࣪ ˖۶ৎ Revision and Void State; how to revised your failed attempts with the void state!.𖥔 ݁ ˖

This thread will be based on the idea I had when @/samoaconsiencia(twt) asked for help in our LOA group on how she could revised failed attempts to enter the void state.

Well, I've always been very obsessed with the idea of ​​void, I've been to a toxic level, but nowadays I even like to research more about it to understand both the state and learn more about our mind, but anyway, I've always been thinking, how could I revised my previous attempts failed with the void state, because it is reported as pitch black, I would not feel or hear anything, how would I visualize this? And then when Skye shared this doubt in the group, it seems that my mind went PLIM ✨️ and this idea came up!

Step 1:

You will choose simple things that you want to manifest, such as a tablet, eye color, appearance, etc.

(You can also choose an event, or something that has already happened and say it was a success story of the void!

Ex: your sp liked your story

You can say that this happened because it was a "test" success story of the void!!)

Step 2:

You will define a number of attempts that you have tried to enter the void, for example, let's suppose that you want to review that you have tried enter the void only 4 times (it doesn't matter if it was more or less than that, that choice is yours, it's a revision).

Step 3: Now you will revised that in all these attempts that you decided, you were successful, and in each attempt, as a "test" mode you took on One of those desires that I asked you to choose in step 1, and then that's it!

"But angel, how do I revised?"

It's simple my love, you will define your goal, what you want to review, in this case it is the failed attempts to the void, which will now be successful attempts, in this you accept that you have achieved it, and live your life!

But of course, I know there are people who have a hard time just accepting it like that, so here are some fun ways you can use to revision!

⊹ ࣪ ˖۶ৎ Writing;

You can write in a diary, notebook, list, both digital and physical, how your attempts at void went, what you assumed in them, if you want you can even put dates to make it seem more "realistic", and then whenever you need validation, read it!

⊹ ࣪ ˖۶ৎ Visualization;

In this one you will use your imagination, if you are the kind of person who loves to fanficte, prepare the playlist (or not), close your eyes, relax and visualize yourself waking up from all your attempts at success in the void, with everything you manifested in the form of a "test"!

⊹ ࣪ ˖۶ৎ Affirmation; If you are a more "minimalist" person, then this is for you, create small affirmations, which imply with the attempts to the void, for example "I entered the void as a test and when I woke up from the state there was my brand new iPhone 15 , it really works"!

⊹ ࣪ ˖۶ৎ the original thread!

[obvi-the-best-soph]

we're all bound to break. (chapter 4)

alexia putellas masterlist: here requests: here

based on this request: surprisingly enough, another creation from my own mind.

word count: 1,253k

summary: a trip out for dinner reminds you of just how much support you have.

genre: comfort/fluff warnings: grief, struggling, feeling of hopelessness? possibly very bad spanish (sorry! i try lol).

chapter 1: here chapter 2: here chapter 3: here

The next few days felt like they were moving in slow motion. Each morning you woke up, the weight of everything that had happened seemed to settle deeper in your bones, but you still put on a brave face. For Alexia. For the team. For yourself, even though that felt like a losing battle at times.

You spent most of your time either on the pitch or in your apartment, the latter mostly spent avoiding your thoughts and feeling your grief settle into your body like an anchor that refused to let go. Alexia had made it clear that she was there for you, but there was something inside you that still couldn’t let her in completely. Not yet. Not when it still felt too raw.

On the surface, things seemed to be going back to normal. You went to training, you smiled when required, and you participated when you had to, but it was all like you were moving through a fog, distant and disconnected from everything around you. You could hear the chatter, the banter from the team, but it felt muffled, like you were underwater.

The media wasn’t helping, either. Every interview, every appearance, always came with that dreaded question about your parents. It was like they could sense the vulnerability in your eyes, the cracks that were barely visible but enough to leave you shaking after each public moment. You wanted to shout, to tell them to leave you alone, but you knew it wasn’t just about you anymore. You had to live with the spotlight, even if it made your heart ache.

That’s when the texts from your aunt began.

Each message felt like a small jab to your already bruised soul. She wanted to meet again. She said it was time to “discuss the future” and how you’d handle everything that was left behind. The mere thought of it made your skin crawl.

You hadn’t responded to her at all. You knew exactly what she wanted, what she was after - anything she could claim as her own. You weren’t going to let her take what little you had left.

The day after another brutal press conference, you found yourself sitting in the locker room with Alexia. Everyone else had left to grab food, but you stayed behind, sitting on the bench with your head in your hands, the exhaustion from holding everything together for the past few days finally catching up to you.

Alexia walked in quietly, and without saying a word, she sat beside you, her presence a steady force next to you. You didn’t look up at first, but you felt her eyes on you, the concern in them almost tangible.

“Chica,” she said softly, her voice laced with warmth and something else. Worry? Fear? You couldn’t be sure.

You finally looked at her, meeting her gaze with a half-hearted smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “I’m fine, really.”

Alexia didn’t buy it, of course. She leaned in slightly, her face closer now, close enough for you to feel the soft warmth of her breath. “You don’t look fine, amor.”

You sighed, rubbing your face with both hands, trying to wipe away the frustration, the ache. “It’s just… everything. It feels like it's all crashing down on me, and I can’t get away from it. Not even for a second.”

Alexia nodded in understanding, her expression softening, her hand brushing lightly against your arm. “I know. I know it’s hard. But you’re not alone in this, Y/N. You don’t have to go through it by yourself.”

You met her gaze again, and for the first time in a while, you felt something like relief - like you could finally admit to yourself that you needed help. But then, just as quickly, the weight of your aunt’s messages flooded your mind, and you felt the tension return.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” you whispered, voice cracking. “I don’t know if I can face her again. I don’t know how to make it all stop.”

Alexia’s hand found yours, her fingers wrapping around yours tightly, grounding you in the moment. “You don’t have to do it alone, I told you that. And we’ll face her together. You have your team, and you have me. Don’t forget that, okay?”

You blinked back the tears threatening to fall, fighting to keep the storm inside at bay. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Alexia - it was that you couldn’t bring yourself to fully let anyone in. Not yet. Not when everything still felt so fragile.

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this,” you muttered, feeling the weight of those words more than you wanted to.

Alexia’s gaze softened, and for a moment, it was as if the whole world outside of the locker room had faded away. All that mattered was the two of you, sitting there in silence, the bond between you unspoken but clear.

“You are stronger than you think,” she said gently, squeezing your hand. “And when you feel like you’re not, I’ll be here. And the team will be here. We’ve got you, Y/N.”

You nodded, a lump in your throat as you squeezed her hand back. Maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to do this alone. Maybe, this time, you could lean on someone who truly cared.

A couple of days later, Alexia insisted that you accompany her to dinner with a few of the others. You had been avoiding social situations, sticking mostly to your apartment or training, but Alexia was determined, and you couldn’t say no. You weren’t sure if you were ready to face the world again, but for her, you would try.

The restaurant was quiet, and as soon as you walked in, a few of the team members - Mapi, Lucy, Keira, and Ingrid - waved at you from their corner booth. You forced a smile and made your way over, the familiar faces a welcome distraction from the thoughts that had been swirling in your mind for days.

“¿Cómo estás?” Mapi asked, her tone gentle but probing. You could see the concern in her eyes, the way she was waiting for the truth.

You sighed, shifting in your seat as you avoided eye contact for a moment. “I’m managing. Just… trying to keep going.”

Keira smiled softly. “It’s okay if you’re not okay, you know. We get it. And we’ll be here, no matter what.”

Lucy chimed in, her accent thick as always. “Yeah, and if you ever need to talk - or if you want us to come smash a few things together - just say the word.”

That earned a small laugh from you, something that felt foreign and strange after all this time. But it felt good. Real. Like you didn’t have to carry the weight of your grief alone.

“Thanks, chicas,” you whispered, feeling the tears start to sting again. “I… I don’t know what I’d do without you all.”

Alexia reached over and squeezed your hand under the table, offering a soft smile. “You’ll never have to find out, cariño. You’ve got us. Always.”

And for the first time in what felt like an eternity, you allowed yourself to believe her.

The world outside was still chaotic. Your aunt still lingered like a shadow, waiting to make her move. But you didn’t have to face it all right now. Right now, you had the people who loved you by your side. And for now, that was enough.

[spurbleu]

hi!

i love your writing so much and if you're looking for requests, could i ask for ghost w fem reader who has really long hair, but no one really knows because it's always up? so one day, she pulls her hairstick out and he's shocked + it gets heated w him pulling her hair?

thank youuu :3

yeah! so.

simon is eely off the reddeye.

dampened sheets of earlgrey morning still cling to his leather coat. phantom steel sits in his mouth, and for once the neighborhood, nestled in an uglier corner of London, is silent (heard him coming, he reckons).

when he walks into the apartment, dayray heat still haunts the space below his knees, simmering and exhaling at his boots. but the house is dark, and the night yawns, purple mouth and pitch tongue.

he’s keens on peeling off the working months- oil and blood and sudor. you often pry him from it, generous, soft palms shucking layers of carrion and exhaust. but at this hour, you must be dreaming. he can sleep filthy for one more night.

that is until, he sees the angelic state your rest has left you to.

hair finds his place on the bed, rolls of strands that sit dark and soft in the night. leaves him in a stupor, breath slowing in his shock.

oh and he’s not nice about it.

throws his thigh over the end of the bed and pulls your hips to him, fortunate for him you were already on your stomach. the crude handling rouses you, and you slowly come to as his hips buckle to cage yours.

“si….you’re..b-“

he hushes you, rutting his chub against your silk dress and you mutter something he doesn’t understand. you say it louder.

“hold on…”

so he yanks your hair.

you’re sober and awake within an instant and let out a choked groan. he seems satisfied when you go limp in the shoulders, moving your hips back to him.

fucks you ruthlessly and without respite. holds your hair in place for what feels like hours, plowing against the bend of your spine until he’s properly welcomed home.

he stutters behind you and cums against the folds of your sleep gown, which had been shoved up to your chest 2 orgasms ago.

you fall to the side and he lays down next to you before pulling your body into his chest, inhaling the sweat that collected on your scalp before kissing it.

“keep yer hair down.”

you’re hair bands mysteriously go missing after that.

[volatilebrat4103]

2 birds, one stone - NSFW!

Caitlyn Kiramman x Butch f!reader

First time writing smut, hope it meets the standard

Here she is yet again cleaning up one of the numerous messes her daughter has created…again.  “This is becoming ridiculous!  She never listens, it’s as if she is purposefully being a disobedient little deviant” Cassandra Rambles on, her frustration growing with a crease of her brows.  “She will rebel Cassandra, she is at that age, we have all been where she is-“ Tobius is cut off by a fuming Cassandra.  “She is a Kiramman, we do not behave like Vagabonds!”  Her voice raises before quickly regaining her composure with a deep breath.

Cassandra’s eyes narrow as her gaze drifts toward the window as if searching for a glimpse of her wayward daughter.  “I swear, sometimes I think she takes after you more then me.”  The hint of disappointment and irritation in her voice is unmistakable.

Tobius clears his throat, trying not to be offended by his wife’s words, however his expression is sympathetic.  “Perhaps, it’s time to reconsider your approach?  Caitlyn is growing older, and-“  Cassandra’s laughter cuts him off, the sound tinged with a hint of desperation.  “Reconsider my approach?  You think I haven’t tried everything?  I’ve been patient, firm and understanding.  Nothing seems to work with her, she isn’t a child anymore, yet she continues to act like one”

As she speaks, her frustration building, her words tumbling out in a rush.  Tobius listened attentively, his expression a mask of calm concern for both his wife and daughter.  But beneath the surface, a spark of understanding seems to flicker.

After a beat of silence and failing attempts to calm herself down Cassandra huffs in annoyance, rising from her seat drawing Tobius’s attention.  “I am having tea with Y/M/N Y/L/N today, I would hate to be late” she answers his unspoken question making her way out the door.  Tobius can only watch her leave, his expression thoughtful.  He knew the look in her eyes and her tone, she would need something stronger than tea to calm her down.

It doesn’t take long for her to reach the Y/L/N estate where she is warmly invited in by the butler who guides her to the back garden where Y/M/N is patiently waiting for her with a fresh cup of tea.

After some time, their cups are empty, “care for another?” Y/M/N gestures toward the teapot, Cassandra can only nod.  Just as she reaches for the pot she is stopped by an elegantly dressed woman, “Good day Mrs Kiramman” she greets pour the women their tea, Cassandra stares in amazement and curiosity at the familiar woman.  “Mother, I have some business to attend to” she speaks up once she places the teapot down.  “Must you really?  It is supposed to be your day off” Y/M/N says exasperatedly looking up to her towering daughter, “Mother” Y/N warns respectfully. 

“Ensure you are home for dinner for once” she sternly says as her daughter nods in understanding, placing a kiss to her mother’s cheek then turning to Cassandra, “Mrs Kiramman” placing a kiss to her glove covered hand before taking her leave.  Once she is gone Cassandra returns her attention to her friend, “Is that Y/N?” she asks curiously stirring her tea as the latter nods, “quiet the charmer now” she smiles remembering when Y/N was just a small girl.

“How do you do it?”  Cassandra finally asks flabbergasted, “do what?” Y/M/N retorts confused, looking over the brim of her cup.  “Your daughter is so respectful and truly…picture perfect” Cassandra explains.  “Oh, she is far from perfect” Y/M/N shakes her head with a sign causing Cassandra to frown.

“Caitlyn refuses to listen to me, always scheming something”  Cassandra huffs out in annoyance, “at least your daughter has a life” Y/M/N sighs stirring her tea confusing the other woman.  “Y/N works non-stop, her father and I have tried countless times to get her out and enjoy life whilst she is still young” she explains, shaking her head in disappointment.  “Surely her partner is able to pull her away from work” Cassandra asks knowing personally how Tobius has pulled her away for a much-needed break countless times.

“At this point I have very little faith she will even marry” Y/M/N says exasperatedly only confusing Cassandra more.  “You expect me to believe she is single” She huffs out a chuckle.  “She hasn’t brought home a girl since she was 14, she’s too engrossed in her work” Y/M/N squeezes the bridge of her nose, eyes screwed shut, the admission leaves Cassandra speechless.

“If only someone would just bed her perhaps, she will ease up” Y/M/N admits drawing yet another chuckle from Cassandra, “a testament I hold to Caitlyn too” she says over the brim of her cup.  Just then both women’s eyes snap to each other, seemingly having the same thoughts.

“Say, is that daughter of yours seeing anyone?”  Y/M/N curiously asks Cassandra, a sly smile etched on her face.  “As a matter of fact she isn’t” she answers with a matching smile.  “Perhaps they could…alleviate each other’s stress” she adds on innocently stirring her tea.  “How does dinner sound?  I’ll host” Y/M/N suggests with a smirk, “dinner sounds perfect” Cassandra agrees, both women smiling over the brims of their cups.

Once they conclude their tea, they bid farewell and part ways, Cassandra heading back to the Kiramman estate t inform her family of the plans for the evening.

“Hi, my love” Tobius greets taking her coat before leading her to the living room and preparing her some tea, as he finishes pouring them tea Caitlyn strolls in clad in her enforcer uniform taking a seat next to her father where Tobius offers her a cup which she gratefully accepts.

“We are joining the Y/L/N’s for dinner this evening” Cassandra announces, “enjoy your evening out” Caitlyn dismisses turning to speak to her father. “And you will be joining” her word’s leaving little room for argument, Caitlyn is about to protest but the stern look held by her mother told her otherwise.

Later that evening Caitlyn follows behind her parents as the approach the Y/L/N estate where Tobius knocks on the door only to have Y/D/N answer the door with a warm smile, greeting the family whilst ushering them inside. “It is lovely to see you again” he greets the couple who return the pleasantries, “and there she is” he turns to Caitlyn, “you have certainly grown since I last saw you” he jokes as she smiles politely.

“Come on, follow me, Y/M/N has been eagerly awaiting your arrival” he leads the family to the dining room where a large spread is being set on the table.  “I’m so glad you guys could make it” she quickly greets the couple before looking Caitlyn up and down nodding her head in approval to Cassandra, confusing the bluenette.

“Do take a seat, my apologies my daughter is running late” she says as they all take place at the table, “is she still working?”  Cassandra asks remembering their conversation earlier gaining Caitlyn’s attention having remembered the Y/L/N girl when they were younger.  “Unfortunately, she’s always working too much, I cannot begin to count the number of dinners she has missed” Y/D/N sighs, placing a comforting hand on his wife’s shoulder.

As dinner continues the two couples fall into easy conversations leaving Caitlyn pushing her food around her plate in boredom.  Just then the front door is hear followed by a husky voice, “sorry I’m late, I was caught up wit-“ her worsa fall short as she walks into the room only expecting to find her parents.

“My apologies, I didn’t realise we had guests” Y/N says nervously adjusting her dishevelled outfit, some grease smudged on her face and her short hair no longer neatly slicked back.  Caitlyn’s jaw drops as she eyes Y/N, oh how she had aged like fine wine.  “It’s alright sweetheart, come join us” Y/D/N gestures to the seat across from Caitlyn, however she walks past the seat greeting Tobius with a firm handshake, moving on to Cassandra where she places a kiss to her hand.

Finally, she walks over to Caitlyn whose eyes have yet to stray form her, “lovely to see you again Caitlyn” Y/N bows slightly placing a warm kiss to her hand, the action flustering the young Kiramman as a light pink dusts her cheeks.  Y/N takes her seat opposite the flustered woman.

“Again, I apologise for my lateness and dishevelled attire, I tend to get aught up in my work” Y/N directs at her guests who nod in acceptance before continuing their previous conversations.  Y/N turns her attention to Caitlyn who still has not stopped staring, “you’ve changed a lot” Caitlyn mutters out, “as have you, you’re looking even more beautiful then I remember” Y/N’s charming smile has her heart fluttering as they fall into easy conversation.

Once dinner is finished the families make their way to the living room where they all enjoy a drink in front of the fireplace.  I do be your pardon, but I must get back to my work” Y/N stands from her seat earning everyone’s attention.  “Must you really, we have guests” Y/D/N speaks up, his tone holding slight disappointment.  “I do apologize for my tardiness, but I hope you understand that I unfortunately have to finish up my work” Y/N bows her head as an apology, the admission leaving Cassandra and Y/M/N disappointed for their plan.

Just as she is about to walk away she makes eye contact with Caitlyn before turning to her, “You are more than welcome to join me, I would hate for you to sit unentertained” she offers her hand, this catches the mothers ears as they perk up.  Caitlyn takes her hand eagerly allowing the taller woman to guide her through the house to her bedroom.

“Sorry about the mess” Y/n says as they venture further into the room, walls covered in books and gadgets, one side of the room a large work space resembling that of a lab where half built inventions sit, a desk covered in equations and blue prints, then finally a bed adoring the furthest side of the room, black silk sheets decorating the space that seems untouched.

Caitlyn takes her time to explore the room curiously running her hands along the shelves and gadgets before stopping at the bed where she takes a seat, crossing her legs elegantly.  “Is this the work that has you so occupied?” she asks watching as the taller woman runs a hand through her greasy hair, the action alone causing her to salivate. “Partially, yes.  Most of these are experimental miniature models for my actual work” Y/N explains shedding her jacket and button up leaving her in a skin-tight vest that leaves little to the imagination and has Caitlyn rubbing her thighs together.

“Do you always work so much, or do you actually have a life?” she asks as Y/N begins fiddling with a gadget, swapping between it and the pages surrounding it.  “Work is my life” Y/N shrugs her shoulders continuing her ministrations.  Caitlyn takes a minute to rake her eyes over the woman, her muscles flexing with every movement, how her abs are clearly visible through the tight shirt, her wide shoulders moving with every breath she takes and how her full breasts complement her toned chest.  Caitlyn is growing hungry and oh how she is determined to get what she wants.

“What no time for your girlfriend?” she asks desperately hoping she was single, “no girlfriend unless you consider my work that, then no” Y/N answers with a chuckle.  “I find that hard to believe” Caitlyn mocks causing Y/N to look at her confused.  “I’m sure you have woman falling at your feet, you’ve always been a charmer” she says leaning back on her hands.  “I’m sorry?” Y/N asks cluelessly, turning to Caitlyn, sweat decorating her skin in all the right ways making Caitlyn’s mouth water.

“You can’t be the oblivious” Caitlyn scoffs as she stands up with her arms crossed raising a brow causing Y/N to tilt her head and furrow her brows.  “Come on just look at you” Caitlyn gestures to Y/N who looks down at herself then back at Caitlyn with a shrug of her shoulders, Caitlyn’s annoyance only growing as she just turns on her heel with shake of her head.

Y/N shakes her head and continues her previous task annoying the Kiramman further.  “You are something else” she comments to the muscular woman who continues working, “and why is that?” Y/N asks the frustrated woman however Caitlyn says nothing in response simply watching the Y/L/N woman.

After half an hour or boredom and yearning Caitlyn finally speaks up, “You work too much” she says into the silent room, “I beg to differ” Y/N answers still fixing the gadget, somehow another smudge of grease wound up on her face.  Caitlyn gets up making her way to the woman from behind, “I know something else you could work on” her voice sultry as she runs her hands up Y/N’s arms causing the woman to freeze, her pulse quickening.

Caitlyn slowly leaves open mouth kisses against the exposed skin of Y/N’s shoulder, her hands trailing down to the hem of her pants causing Y/N’s breath to hitch. “I think you need a little break from all this work let me show you how to have a good time” Caitlyn slurs against her skin, taking control of the situation, using her experience to seduce and dominate the taller woman.  Y/N’s breathing speeds up at the implications of her words and the light touches against her skin.

Without warning Y/N turns around slamming her lips against Caitlyn’s shocking her as she responds with an unexpected moan.  Y/N is quick to take control of their endeavours shocking the Kiramman further, her being used to having her way having all the victims of seduction whimpering messes beneath her, she finds it strange but can’t help but submit to her. Their hands roam each other’s bodies, studying every curve and crevice leaving behind burning desire as they stumble to  the bed.

“Mmm looks like someone’s eager” Caitlyn teases pulling away from the kiss, her hands reaching for Y/N’s top where it’s quickly discarded on the floor.  “And I think you’d sound better screaming my name” Y/N makes quick work of tearing Caitlyn’s shirt in half, peeling the torn fabric from her exposing her voluptuous breasts making Y/N growl.

Y/N attaches her lips to Caitlyn’s neck, ensuring to mark the woman, claiming her like a prize, her mouth venturing further down her chest leaving a trail of bites and marks in her wake leaving the Kiramman a moaning and squirming mess.  Eventually she reaches the soft flesh of her breasts dragging her teeth against the sensitive skin before taking her nipple in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the bud before sucking harshly causing her to throw her head back with deep moan. 

Y/N keeps at it for a few minutes, occasionally switching between the mounds making sure to mark them up.  “P-please” the words escape Caitlyn’s mouth shocking her, never in her life had she found herself in this position, never mind begging.  Nevertheless Y/N listens, harshly throwing Caitlyn on her bed before climbing on top of her, claiming her lips with her own once more, her hands groping at Caitlyn’s breasts earning delicious sounds from the woman below her who can’t help but arch her back into her, wrapping her legs around her waist.

“P-please” Caitlyn stutters out again as Y/N once again moves down to her neck, “what is it princess?” Y/N teases against Caitlyn’s skin.  “P-pl-please t-touch me” Caitlyn is falling apart so easily under her touch, something she has never experienced before, “I am touching you kitten” the nickname has Caitlyn moaning, bucking her hips for any sort of friction leaving Y/N to chuckle at her eagerness.  She moves back up to Caitlyn’s ear, her voice low and husky, “tell me what you want me to do…kitten” she punctuates her sentence with a nip at her earlobe leaving Caitlyn shuddering.

“Please...a-anything just touch me” Caitlyn is a squabbling mess beneath her, her body shaking with desperation boosting Y/N’s ego.  “Anything? Don’t say I didn’t warn you kitten” she whispers in her ear before making her way back down the bluenette’s body, traveling further to subtly toned stomach reaching closer to where she desperately needed her.  Y/N moves her waistband down slightly placing wet, open mouth kisses to the spot before looking up to catch Caitlyn’s eyes.

“Can I?” Y/N asks with her hands patiently waiting on the waistband, Caitlyn desperately nods, “use your words kitten” Y/N demands, her nails scratching down the sides of Caitlyn’s waist. “Yes, yes please” with her word’s Y/N is quick to pull down both her pants and panties discarding them somewhere on the floor.  “Fuck kitten look at this pretty little pussy” Y/N pulls back to admire the woman before her, bare and exposed all for her to use and devour.

She runs her hand over the porcelain skin of Caitlyn’s thighs, enjoying the reactions she is getting from her, “who’s eager now kitten?” she teases the whimpering woman beneath her.  “Shut up” Caitlyn bites back embarrassed however she instantly regrets it when she sees Y/N’s reaction.  “Oh, is that so?” the evil smirk on her face makes Caitlyn shudder whether in fear or excitement she doesn’t know.

“I think you need to be taught a lesson”  Y/N grabs Caitlyn’s jaw forcing her to look into her eyes, “bad girls get punished” she teases turning Caitlyn over on her stomach before pulling her hips up leaving her ass on full display for her.  “Be a good girl and stay still, don’t move a muscle” Y/N demands before getting off the bed and rummage in a cupboard, however Caitlyn doesn’t dare move a muscle battling her thoughts when she hears a belt followed by a zipper, oh she is desperate.

Y/N climbs back on the bed leaning over Caitlyn to cuff her hands to the bedframe causing her gasp at not only the restraints but the feeling of a slick hard member glide against her dripping folds, the leather strap cold against the bare skin of her ass.  “Be a good girl and I just might let you cum” Y/N comments rutting her hips forward teasingly as Caitlyn moans at the friction against her aching core. 

With that Y/N removes herself from Caitlyn’s body, settling behind her where without warning she brings her hand down harshly against her backside causing Caitlyn to jolt forward with a guttling moan, she can’t help but clench her thighs in a desperate attempt to get some relief. Then comes another followed by several more leaving Caitlyn a whimpering mess, her thighs coated in her own slick, the ache between her legs becoming painful.

“Such a good little slut, look how wet you are” Y/N teases, dragging her long digits along Caitlyn’s dripping folds.  “You’re being such a good girl, maybe you deserve a reward, what do you say kitten?”  Y/N’s hands scratch down her back.  “Yes, please please please” Caitlyn is almost in tears with desperation, never in her life has she ever been put in this position in her life and goddammit she is loving every second of it.

“Good little kitten” Y/N husks aligning her faux cock with Caitlyn’s dripping cunt, “You ready princess?” she husks again, the tip teasing her entrance.  “Y-yes” Caitlyn gasps out followed by a pornographic moan she was sure everyone downstair heard as Y/N plunged all nine inches deep inside her, not giving her a chance to adjust before setting a brutal pace. 

Y/N can’t help but admire the way Caitlyn’s pretty pussy swallows her cock so perfectly, watching the toy disappear and reappear covered in her slick, the squelching noises almost enough to get her off alone.  She feels Caitlyn’s walls clenching around the toy, her moans becoming incoherent and louder, “You better not cum kitten or there will be consequences” Y/N warns with a hard thrust sending Caitlyn jolting forward.

Caitlyn however doesn’t listen, letting herself fall over the edge with moan, Y/N lets her ride out her high before whispering in her ear with a sadistic smirk, “oh kitten you just fucked up,” at her words Caitlyn gulps as she is turned onto her back, hands still cuffed to the bed, “you’ll be begging me to stop” the look in her eyes sends shivers down Caitlyn’s spine as she waits in anticipation…

Oh, how she regrets not listening to her, only 8 orgasms in she is a shaking mess whilst Y/N devours her red swollen pussy, her face slick with her juices as she eats her like Caitlyn’s her last meal.  Y/N dips her tongue in her entrance, Caitlyn’s walls deliciously squeezing her in all the right ways, before she pulls out leaving Caitlyn whining at the loss only to be cut off with a loud moan as Y/N replaces her tongue with 3 of her digits.  “That’s it kitten, you’re taking me so well, such a good girl” with that Y/N reattaches her mouth to her bundle of nerves, her teeth pulling at the sensitive skin.

She is quick to suck the bundle of nerves into her mouth harshly before laying quick, long licks, “come on kitten, you wanted this, cum for me” with her words and the fingers pumping harshly in and out of her overstimulated pussy sends her hurtling over the edge into her 9th orgasm.  “That’s it princess, such a good girl” Y/N coos helping her ride out her high.  Once Caitlyn comes back down from her high Y/N aligns her strap once more with her entrance, “I can’t” Caitlyn cries out, fucked out and overstimulated.  “yes, you can, give me one more babygirl” Y/N says as she uncuffs Caitlyn’s hands which automatically attach themselves to her back, dragging them down at Y/N slowly inserts her strap.

“One more for me kitten, can you do that?” she asks, the pace slow and sensual as Caitlyn nods eagerly, her legs wrapping tightly around her waist, nails continuously dragging down Y/N’s back leaving welts and blood in their wake.  “I want you to come with me kitten” Y/N husks against her lips before connecting them in a searing kiss. 

Her pace is slower, strokes more sensual pouring emotion into every long thrust, this is something neither of them is used to.  The pair are so lost in each other’s body, slowly drawing out their orgasm, none of them rushing or chasing it rather slowly building up to it.  It doesn’t take long before Y/N can feel how close Caitlyn is, her walls clamping so hard on the toy she almost can’t move.  “Hold it” its not rough and demanding, rather a whispered plea from Y/N as she feels her own high approaching.

With a final thrust and roll of her hips both of them are falling apart with loud moans of each other’s name.  Feeling a gush of wetness coat their thighs it doesn’t take long for them to realise what happened as Caitlyn hides her face in Y/N’s neck, “don’t hide away now princess, that was hot” she comments lovingly caressing Caitlyn’s shaking thighs.  “t-that’s never ha-appened before” she manages through ragged breaths boosting Y/N’s ego.

After a moment letting them both calm down, Caitlyn is ready to pass out as Y/N pulls out of her, gently caressing her cheek.  “Let’s get you cleaned up”  Y/N carries an exhausted Caitlyn to her attached bathroom placing her on the counter as she fills the tub with warm water and bubble bath before carefully lowering Caitlyn in, letting the woman relax in the water.  As she gets up to leave Cait catches her wrist, “Join me” she mumbles out bringing a smile to Y/N’s lips.  She simply places a kiss to her forehead, her lips lingering, “I’ll join you in a minute” with that she leave the bathroom to the bedroom where she makes quick work of changing the bedding before returning to a blissful Caitlyn almost asleep in the tub.

Carefully Y/N slips in behind Caitlyn pulling her flush to her chest before she gets to work washing the bluenette’s hair and body.  By the time they finish Caitlyn is lights out, exhausted from their extravaganza. Not wanting to disturb her Y/N dries the both of them before heading back to the bed where she slips into bed with the woman, Caitlyn quick to snuggle into her warmth.  With a smile both women let sleep overcome them knowing that this would lead to something special.

Bonus:

After some time once everything quietened down Cassandra and Y/M/N  look at each other with curiosity, no longer hearing Caitlyn’s pornographic moans.  “Should we go check on them?” Cassandra asks with a smile, nodding they make their way up to Y/N’s room stopping at the door, listening for any sound or movement.  Hearing none they peek their heads into the room and the sight makes them smile, their daughters blissfully curled up together with a soft smiles adorning their faces.  “Hopefully this fixes our situation” Cassandra comments with a smile, “Hopefully” Y/M/N agrees before the exit leaving the women be.

[jazzy96scorpio]

Forbidden Fruit Part 2 You got that talent

Description: You are on a trip with Sarah's dad and uncle. You enjoy teasing Joel. Tonight he discovered your talent. 🍭🫦

Pairing: You / Younger Joel [22/36]

Warnings ⚠️: adult content, dirty talk, oral sex (m/f rec), unprotected sex, creampie, SMUT

You were in Sarah's room, talking with her. Joel was with Tommy in the kitchen. You prepared suprise for Sarah. You reserved a cabin for the weekend. You wanted to enjoy the nature with her. You were going to Wimberley.

Sarah's eyes widened. "Wimberley? Are you serious?" she exclaimed, her excitement palpable. "That sounds amazing!"

Without further hesitation, she practically bounded out of the room, rushing towards the kitchen to ask her father's permission.

"Dad! Can I go to Wimberley with [Your Name] this weekend? We're going to stay in a cabin!"

Joel said, "You can't go alone there." You suggested that he and Tommy come with you. Tommy agreed, excited. Joel, after a moment of hesitation, finally accepted.

You told them, "Okay, be ready tomorrow morning." You winked at Joel. "Don't forget your swimming trunks."

The next morning, you knocked on the door, feeling a flutter of excitement. You were ready and beautiful in your summer dress. Tommy greeted you, "You look very beautiful this morning."

"Thank you," you replied, smiling.

At that moment, Joel showed up, carrying bags. He was stunned by your look, his eyes widening. He simply greeted you with a "Hello, nice dress."

Sarah hugged you warmly. "Let's go!" she exclaimed.

Joel opened the car door for you, his gaze lingering a moment too long on your legs.

On the way, you stopped at a gas station. Tommy sipped the gas while Sarah and you went into the convenience store. You were the first back to the truck, licking a rainbow popsicle.

Joel and Tommy looked at you. "Where's Sarah?" Joel asked.

"She's still at the cash register," you replied, your voice playful.

You showed Tommy the rainbow popsicle. "Which is your favorite color?" you asked.

Tommy laughed. "Orange," he replied.

You turned to Joel. "Which is your favorite?"

He hesitated for a moment, then said, "Red."

"What do you think which color I can reach?" you asked, a mischievous glint in your eyes, teasing them both.

They exchanged a look, then turned back to you, a mixture of amusement and grasp in their eyes.

You put the popsicle in your mouth, slowly reaching it down to the red part.

Tommy laughed, "Shit, girl, you've got that talent."

Joel blushed, his mind already racing with dirty thoughts. Watching you lick that popsicle, he was getting hard in his pants. "I'm gonna check where Sarah is," he muttered, rushing out of the truck.

Tommy laughed, shaking his head.

After Sarah came back, you continued your trip. You settled into the cabin, eager to explore. You quickly changed into your swimsuit, feeling a playful anticipation.

Joel and Tommy were already preparing the barbecue, Sarah helping them. Joel looked at you, his eyes lingering on your almost-naked body. He was impatient, his body already reacting to the sight of you.

You decided to cool off and went for a swim in the river. As you were enjoying the refreshing water, Tommy approached you.

We were chatting when Joel approached us. He seemed a little jealous, knowing his brother was probably flirting with you. "Come on, let's eat," he said, his voice a bit sharper than usual.

They watched as you stepped out of the water. Your skin glistened in the sunlight, your nipples clearly visible through the thin fabric of your swimsuit. "Fuck..." Tommy murmured under his breath. After you left leaving them alone.

Joel glared at his brother. "Don't you dare try to fuck her," he growled, his voice low and menacing. "She's out of your league." He clearly didn't want Tommy to be with you.

Tommy looked at him, a smirk playing on his lips. "Oh, right. I understand. You really fucked her." Joel just nodded, confirmed. Tommy shook his head.

"Okay, brother. She's yours. Just don't mess this up."

After dinner, you all gathered around the campfire. Joel and Tommy were drinking beer, while you and Sarah joked and laughed, toasting marshmallows over the fire.

Later, exhausted from the day's activities, you go to your rooms.

You couldn't fall asleep. Joel was on your mind, the memory of his touch still lingering. You needed him. You quietly slipped out of the room and slowly opened the door to Joel and Tommy's bedroom.

Joel was awake, his eyes widening when he saw you peeking in. You gestured for him to come with you. He was instantly excited, his eyes gleaming. He quickly got out of bed, grabbing your hand and pulling you with him.

You both slipped out of the cabin, the cool night air a welcome relief. He kissed you then, a hard, passionate kiss that left you breathless. "I've been thinking about this all day," he whispered against your lips.

"Come with me," you murmured, taking his hand and leading him towards his truck.

He sat on the backseat of the truck, his eyes following your every move. You climbed in, kissing him deeply. You pulled off your shirt, your breasts exposed to the cool night air.

You reached down, your fingers tracing the outline of his erection. He growled, his body rigid with desire. You pulled his boxers down, revealing his hard length. He groaned, his eyes burning with lust.

You leaned down, kissing the head of his cock, your tongue swirling around it. He moaned, holding your head against him, his hands gripping your hair.

You continued, sucking him deeper and deeper, pushing harder. "Fuck... you really got talent for this, baby..." he groaned, his voice thick with pleasure.

You continued until he urged, "Lay down." He gently pushed you onto the seat, then stripped off your shorts and panties. He leaned down, his tongue swirling around your clit, teasing you, driving you wild.

"Ohh yes... Daddy... Fuck..." you gasped, arching your back against the seat.

He grabbed your waist, pulling you closer. He entered you slowly, then began to move with a powerful rhythm. He rubbed your clit with his thumb.

"Fuck... I'm so close, sweetie," he growled, "Where do you want it?"

"Yes, daddy, cum inside me," you pleaded.

"Fill me up, this is your pussy"

You both reached your orgasam, a wave of pleasure washing over you. He came inside you, a deep, primal release. He leaned down, kissing you tenderly, cupping your face in his hands.

"I fucking love you, sweetheart," he whispered, his voice hoarse with passion.

"I love you too, Joel," you breathed, your heart pounding in your chest.

He smiled, his eyes filled with a deep, abiding love. "I don't regret this," he confessed.

"I want to fuck this pussy till the day I die."

You grinned, "Fuck yes," you agreed, "I agree with that."

Part 1

[newkatzkafe2023]

I really like what you wrote for my last request. Also, you don’t have to write this if you don’t want to, but may I ask if you could do a part two to that yonder monkey king X real world reader that I had requested but like it takes place during mating season? I kinda like the idea of read her being used to being human so she wouldn’t understand that she’s going through heat and that it’s mating season and so maybe the monkey King would notice what she’s going through and start to understand that she is in her first ever heat and offers to help her with it. Maybe For the movies and game it could take place after the events of The movies and game and for the TV show it could take place either before during or after season five. Again, you don’t have to do this I just thought I’d ask

Tsundere/Yandere Love Part 2😝

(Lmk Wukong) How annoying....Now you know deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep down you loved Wukong and Mk buuuuuuuutttt you can't pretend to like those two right now😒 You body is on fire, your pheromones are all over the damn place and your mood is very foul. Wukong was heartbroken by your behavior until he saw how many of the demons were out searching for mates. He put two and two together and realized you were in heat. Now Wukong had an opening on improving his marriage You had came home with more cup noodles to add to your she shed until you noticed him sitting on the bed, he was shirtless sitting in his boxers he began to gently woo you with back messages and chirps. You were biting your lip upon seeing him like that just being patient and considerate, feeling his hands on your body slowly removing clothes to get to the better parts of you before you both kissed. Let's just say you weren't gonna get better much faster without a lot of fun with your husband, Sun Wukong.

(MKR Wukong) Man, you would remind everyone of an angry cat, and you knew exactly why. Wukong would try to woo you and gave you affection, but you still continuously lash out on everyone, minus fruity being, the only one to calm you down. One day Wukong took one sniff at you and immediately knew that you were in your first heat, and started understanding your hostility (at least half of it😒) Your in your first heat cycle and it's driving you insane, which made Wukong spring into action. Now due to a nasty Strom coming the pilgrims had checked in into an inn till the strom blew over. Of course you took up your own room still showing him and the monk your favorite finger and Strom off to your own place, and that was the night Wukong worked his magic. Wukong snuck into your room with a small back filled body oils and cream to soothe your aching muscles, and it was working as you sighed in relief though Wukong started kissing your neck and shoulders. The next thing you both knew you were shaking the bed, as the strom raged on outside, as Wukong broke another wall on your heart.

(HIB Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhh dear, it's bad enough that you're very distant with Wukong and your little family, but your new body is on fire and cramping up. At first, you thought it was your time of the month, but this was a bit more intense, nor was their any blood, but you felt so much heat and exhaustion. Though because of this, you lashed out at Wukong even more, finding him annoying and clingy, as you stomped away from him. Wukong was on his wits end because you seem to strongly dislike him, and you're usually passive aggressive, not this. Though that's when pigsy brought up being alone again in mating season, and it hit him, you're in heat. It was mating season, and females have proven to be far more aggressive during this time, so you can imagine a demoness female's heat cycle. So Wukong went out of his way to make this as comfortable as possible, even giving you a she shed to rest in, though Wukong, of course, offered to join you and slowly kissed you. With how helpful he's been with you, you went on your paws and knees, and he mated you like their was no tomorrow

(NR Wukong) You watched enough natural geographics to know exactly what's going on with you. You were now entered your first heat in your new-ish body(Woooo🙄). This caused you to hit the bottle pretty hard lately it's bad enough that you're trapped in your favorite movie forever, and now it's mating season. Wukong noticed your behavior and how much of a bad mood you were currently in. Wukong knew that mating season was coming up, and it's clearly changing your mood. So one night, Wukong had set up his bed, making sure everything was ready for your endless mating sessions. Also, busting out his favorite bottle champagne, which is also your greatest weakness. When you came home, you noticed Wukong pouring a drink as he asked about your day. Boi did you go off on everything and everyone as you continue to rant about your lousy body and upon other things, then cried about wanting to go home about you not belonging here and other crazy rants. It wasn't long before a drunk you was getting flirted with by Wukong, you finally decided to try him as you were bored and horny. So that night you and Wukong had a very chaotic mating season together, what else's new you know 🙄

(Netflix Wukong) Believe it or not, this will be your first heat together, and your both will be going through awkward and somewhat changes. Lin was the first to notice the changes immediately, mating season made Wukong emotional and submissive while mating season made you aggressive and confrontational. Wukong was whine and cry for your attention and cuddles as he doesn't feel well, as for you....well you look like you eat nails for breakfast terrifying anyone bothering you Mostly Wukong. This immediately had to stop so with the help of dragon king, you both were send to a hot springs to calm your minds. What they didn't consider was you both going at it immediately on the living room couch, starting mating season with a bang. Wukong had made you scream to the heavens from rocking your world into Oblivion turns out your didn't really hate Wukong after what happenedlast time.

(BMW Wukong) Wukong was looking forward to mating season for months, he knew that it was your first heat and wanted it to be perfect. You were gonna have your first heat as his queen and wife, you have been pushing him away for a long time but now it's time that you love and accepted him. Wukong had made the world's most interesting and romantic date in history, you both started off with visiting a play then came the hot springs and Lunch. After a bit of shopping you both came home you more calm and subdued a bit, wiping tears Wukong began to make love in a way soooo romantic you both will never regret it especially Wukong.

(Destined one) MAN YOU HATED YOUR MONKEY BODY!!!! And the Destined one knew that. You were in extreme emotional distress, either crying, laughing, or yelling, and unfortunately, the only way you cope with your situation was to lash out and yell at the Destined one. The Destined one was also aware of your heat which makes the other symptoms understandable, you need his help but he not sure how to present it with out further upsetting you. You were crying your eyes out when you thought he wasn't around steeling the Destined one's resolve. The Destined one such a sweetheart and decided to finally give you the date you deserve, he used some pocket money and brought you an emotional support plush. Now Whenever your having an episode you could just squeeze your plush. The Destined one made sure to overwhelm you with so much pleasure you would forget why you were so angry in the first place.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[wowzees]

no matter what

lando norris x reader

y/n is not used!

a/n: this is a short story from uni- i have to make a collection of them

the one i posted earlier was also one, but these have not recived feedback from my professer or have been majorly edited. enjoy!

High school felt like the longest four years of my life. Days blurred into each other, routines became a way of life, and I thought I had everything figured out. I was one of those kids who had his group of friends, the sport he played, and the classes he took, all laid out in a neat, predictable order. Nothing ever really changed.

And then, there was her.

She’d been there from the start. The girl who wasn’t just a friend,she was something more, though I never said it out loud. We’d grown up together, laughed at the same inside jokes, gotten in trouble for the same stupid things. She knew me better than anyone else, maybe even better than I knew myself. She was the one I could count on for anything. She was the one who could make me laugh on days when nothing felt right. When life got heavy, when there was uncertainty about my future, she was the one I turned to. And I thought that would never change. Or maybe I didn’t think about it at all. Why would I need to? She was always there, like a constant in my life, something I could rely on. But looking back, I see the warning signs. Small things that I chose not to notice. 

At first, it was little things— how she stopped coming to my house after school everyday. How she stopped calling me for big milestones. It’s easy to ignore changes like that. Until they hit you all at once. And then, it was too late.

Without her presence, I started hanging out with the kids from my soccer team more, and more. I told them about all my problems with her. Their solution? They wanted me to prank her. I wanted to fit in. So, I agreed.

Maybe I was too busy with soccer, or maybe I just took her for granted. But somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her the way I always had. I saw how my actions hurt her. But, somewhere along the way i stopped seeing that. I stopped seeing how my actions hurt her.

But I didn’t think much about it at the time. After all, things had always worked themselves out between us, right? I guess I never thought I’d lose her, guess I thought that she’d always be there.

How wrong I was.

And seeing her now after graduation, getting ready to go to college and saying goodbye to friends for one last time, I can't help but remember a time when things were so much simpler.

Age, 7. Grade, 2

“Lan, wait up” she yelled, peddling her feet. I slowed my bike down and turned to face her. 

“Hurry up! You're being slow.” she peddled faster. Too fast. I watched in slow motion as she rides over a rock, flies through the air as if it’s molasses, then falls in what seems the same way a feather falls through the air. Then promptly crashes into a trashcan, scattering trash all around and on top of her. 

I quickly stopped my bike and ran to her. She was sitting there, covered in trash from the trash can, pouting. As I stood over her, and saw her covered in trash, I almost laughed. “Stop! It’s really not funny” she sniffled, though she now seemed a little happier. 

“I've bin waiting for this to happen” I joke, hoping to make her laugh.

“It's really not that funny” she snorts while giggling.

 “Yeah, well you’re still laughing” I argue. As she struggles to her feet, I realize I should probably help her. As I move to put her arm around my shoulder, she shoves me off. 

“I don't need your help, butthead” she says, crossing her arms and stares at me with her lips pursed. 

“Sorry, man, chill.” I say, not really understanding why she didn't want help. 

“I got worse when I first started playing volleyball, it's just a little scrape on my knee. It’ll heal” 

"Ok "I mumbled, feeling a little stupid.

As we walked home, we talked about silly things, like how funny she looked covered in trash, or about the people we didn't like at school. Before we parted ways, she threw her arms around me and pressed a quick, fleeting kiss that was gone as soon as it started to my cheek. “Bye Lando! I'll see you tomorrow at school!” she said over her shoulder as she ran home.

“Bye” I yell, after she had already disappeared into the house, my cheeks still red.

She had always been brave in her own way. Whether it was running into a trash can then getting back up with a skinned knee and no tears, or hiding her fears behind that stubborn smile of hers, she never changed. She was always the same, brave girl I had known since I was a kid. I wish I had known then how much that bravery would change the course of our friendship.

Age, 12  Grade 7.

The ferris wheel creaked more and more the higher up it went, carrying us higher, and higher into the night sky. Below we could see the rest of the fair, all the people enjoying themselves just like we are.

Her posture was slumped, and she was practically shaking on the little metal bench that lines the side of the carriage.

“Are you scared?” I ask. This wasn't a very normal occurrence, and I was honestly a little surprised. 

“What? Me? No! Of course not. I don't get scared” she responded, her voice shaky, and honestly not very convincing. 

“Hey, it's okay if you are scared. We all have things we are scared of; it doesn't make you weak.” I say in a soft tone, understanding when to tease and when to be comforting. 

“I'm not scared.”

“Yeah? Good, me neither. Honestly, it's really nice.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah. It’s really nice being up here.”

“I guess it is pretty nice.”

“It's really pretty,” I say with a sigh.

“It is,” she responds with an airy voice.

Little did I know that while I was staring at the sky, she was looking at me.

Ever since that night on the ferris wheel, I had developed a liking for stars. She learned more about stars for me, though I didn't know that then. I thought it was just a coincidence, not something carefully planned. Ever since then, we would spend nights under the stars together, gazing upwards.

Age, 15. Grade 9.

“And that one’s named Altair” she said, pointing up at the brightest star in the sky.

“How do you know this?” I ask while chuckling.

“I learned it when I was in 8th grade for my science fair project. I won.”

“I know, you’ve only told me like a million times.”

“I have not!”

“Uh, yes you have.”

“Excuse yo- wow, it's like, really cold.”

“Here,” I say, shrugging my sweatshirt off. “Take it.”

“No, it's fine really. I don't need it, I’m fine.”

“If you don't take it, I’m actually gonna go insane!”

“Fine” she huffed, sticking her tongue out at me. “Thank you.” she mumbled.

“You're welcome.”

“Lando?”

“Yeah?”

“We'll always be best friends, right?”

“Of course we will. No matter what.”

“No matter what.”

Back then, No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep. Before our future became closer and closer, before I found out she would be going to Yale. No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep under the soft lighting of the stars, but under the fluorescent lights in the highschool hallways, and the pressure from the guys, the promise broke apart. 

“Hey Lan!” she exclaims, coming up to me “Hey,” I respond. “Where are your glasses?” I ask. She has always loved her glasses. She always said it gave her more personality, though I disagree. She has plenty of personality already. 

“Oh, I just switched to contacts for volleyball! It's too impractical to have to play without being able to see, ya know? Do you like them?” I actually think that she looks stunning with or without glasses, but since my friends from the soccer team are with me, I just say 

“ I dunno man, it kinda makes your eyes look too close together.” I feel absolutely terrible as I practically see her deflate. Her normally radiant smile disappears, her shoulders begin to tremble, and her eyes go glassy. At first, she didn't say anything. I could practically see her brain thinking of ways to respond. She was trying to act relaxed about it, but I knew her well. She doesn't do relaxed about these types of things.

 I hear the boys snickering from behind me, making stupid comments about how “he is so right” and “how can she not see that herself?” and “why does she talk so much?”. I'm actually about to turn around and tell them to shut up, and that I am the only one allowed to tease her like that, but before I can, she says something.

“Oh. Well, uh, I should be going to class. I'll see you later, Lando,” she mumbles. Her normally confident posture seemed impossibly timid and shy. Her posture didn't say ‘see you later’.  It said ‘leave me alone’.

While she walked down the hallway, the only thing I could focus on was the fact that she didn't call me Lan .

The next few days, I tried finding her, though she kept on avoiding me. Finally, I found her sitting outside at the tables, eating her lunch alone.

“Hey” I greet softly, sitting down at the table outside. 

“What do you want?” she responded, her tone sharp. She was wearing her glasses again.

“I wanted to apologize for what I said on Tuesday.” I say, barely audible.

“If you're going to say something, say it louder.”

“I wanted to apologize for what I said.” 

“Do you? Do you really? Or is this just another sick prank you and your friends are playing on me, huh? I stood there and took it in tenth grade, when you made fun of my brother, who, by the way looks up to you, in the cafeteria. I stood there and took it in eleventh grade when you texted everyone from my phone things that I would never, ever say about someone and especially TO someone, posted things on instagram that I would NEVER post, and then humiliated me by making me think that you were seriously hurt, then jump up and say “it's a prank” after i started crying? I even stood there and took it when you told me that my eyes were too close together! The one thing you know I'm insecure about, and you make fun of it? You’ve changed Lando! You and your stupid friends have made high school horrible for me! And even though you've been rude, and you've been mean, and you've in general been a nightmare to be around, I'm still in love with you, and I have been for the last 10 years! And I'm done with this! I will not, will not sit here and let you bully me because I’m your ‘best friend’! I stayed your friend because I thought you would notice me! I thought you would realize, but you didn't! And I’m done waiting, okay? I’m done. Bye, Lando.”

By now, she was crying. Before I could respond to her and apologize, I hear laughing and jeering coming from behind me. I turn around and march over to where the boys are standing. They chuckle upon seeing me, and I absolutely lose it.

“Are you guys actually stupid? You made me lose the most important thing in my life, because you ‘thought it would be funny’? She is worth more than you guys will ever be. She was a better friend, a better athlete, but most importantly, a better person than you guys! I’m done with y’all.” 

I turn back to where she was standing, but she's not there anymore.

The next few days, I look for her. I see her a couple of times, but she always manages to avoid me. 

One night, as I’m packing for college, I hear someone knocking on the front door.

I run down the stairs, thinking it’s the pizza I ordered for me and my sister, but it’s not. It’s her.

“Uhm, I just wanted to return this.” she says, handing me my sweatshirt that i gave to her 3 years ago. “I just thought I should return it before I leave for Yale.”

“When do you leave?” I ask, fearing the answer.

“Tomorrow.” 

The second I hear that word, my world stops. I hazily thank her for bringing the sweatshirt back, then slam the door. I vaguely remember stumbling up the stairs, and sitting down on my bed, my mind running a thousand miles a minute.

 I’m going to have to live without the person who was there for me at every problem, at every bad game, at every milestone in my life, and I lost her because of my own mistakes. I lost her because I let those stupid kids influence my decisions. I lost her because I didn't know how to communicate my feelings. And now, I’ll never get her back.

I was right. I never got her back. And deep down inside, I knew I was never going to get her back. I knew this when I met Emma. I knew this when I proposed to Emma. I knew this when I invited her to our wedding. But that truly, did not prepare me for when I saw her.

“And do you, Lando Norris, take Emma Sand to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part? ” asked the priest, his voice echoing through the church that held all of our friends and loved ones. 

“ I do.” 

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see her, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. After years of knowing her,  I could almost hear her thinking ‘that should have been me.’

And I feel horrible and disgusting and gross thinking this on my wedding day, but I'm inclined to agree. It should have been her. And it would have been, if not for my own stupidity.

And seeing her, brought me right back to all those years ago. And made me wonder; what happened to ‘no matter what.’

[fandomwe1rd0]

Sooo I was thinking, Beth REALLY seems to favor Summer over Morty, of course, there was that moment in Morty's Mindblowers where she INSTANTLY chose Summer over Morty without hesitation. But she also just seems bitter towards Morty in general. Like when Jerry was talking to Morty Junior, Beth said "Stop filling it with your own insecurity, you're gonna turn it into Morty- m-more of- more of you." and doesn't even bring up Morty when she and Jerry were talking about staying together for the kids. She also seems to make more effort to hang out with Summer.

You think this could be out of jealousy? I mean, Rick abandoned her twice, once in the season 2 finale. However, he had an understandable reason for it (I refuse to believe that he was just doing that for the federation, you could tell that he was thinking when Beth said that she doesn't want Rick to leave again) and another time in the season 5 finale. And both times he only said goodbye to Morty. Not to mention all of the adventures they go on. I hope that this interpretation was intentional and that they touch more on this, I feel like it would be interesting.

[honeyjars-sims]

Part 2 1.02 The Insider

10 Years Ago

Falling in love with Paul was a slow process. After all, I had no idea I was anything but straight. But I definitely felt a pull towards him that I didn't quite understand.

At first, I thought it was jealousy–but as we got closer as friends and I started viewing him as a flawed human, I realized there was more than envy at play.

A big part of moving past my initial perception of Paul was getting to know his inner circle. I'd met Danica before, but I didn't get the full Danica Experience until I moved in with Paul. She was getting her Masters at Sequoia State and she was at the townhouse all the time. It seemed like she didn't have a life outside of Paul. 

She was over one day when she invited Paul to go out with her and their friends, whom I hadn't met yet. 

“I don't know,” Paul groaned. “Who's going to be there?”

“It’s just going to be me, Wesley and Nasir, and Deshawn…oh, and I guess he's bringing Other Paul, so we get to meet him.”

“Wait,” I interjected. “Other Paul? Who's that?”

“He's our friend Deshawn’s new boyfriend,” Danica explained. “We've been calling him Other Paul.”

“Just not in front of Deshawn,” Paul added.

“Hmm, okay,” I said.

“I don't know,” Paul sighed. “I guess I can go.” 

“Where are you going?” From the lack of enthusiasm Paul had, it sounded like they were going to get root canals. 

“Roy G. Biv's,” Danica answered.  

“Oh, my dad works there,” I told her. “He's actually Valerie Galloway.”

“Really? That's so cool!” Since my dad was on the show, people were always excited to find out about our relation.

“Yeah, it's been interesting. I help out at RGB's sometimes when things get busy.”

“Well, you should join us, then,” Danica offered. “It'll be nice having an insider with us.”

“C'mon, Danica,” Paul chided her. “John doesn't want to spend his Friday getting used for perks.”

“Oh, I don't mind.” Truth be told, it was kind of fun feeling special and getting free drinks for my friends.

“Well, if you're okay with it,” Paul replies hesitantly. 

So we all got ready to go out. In addition to giving my guests the VIP treatment, I was looking forward to meeting more of Paul’s friends–and seeing what the deal was with this Other Paul.

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[realestsmiggles]

Sigh.. Another TCC related rant 🙏 a lot shorter but just some quick stuff I wanted to talk about

(Really just about the people on the app and in the community)

Making friends who are also tcc is so hard it's either cornballs, edgelords, or the most senstive people on earth. Like one how are you gonna be THIS sensitive about such little things when you're on the worse part of the internet. Or people who will be rude asf and then get mad cause someone's mean to them, like man up and grow a pair. How can you be surprised that there's bad people in a community based around mass killers and shooters? It just never makes sense.

But edgelords actually URK me to my core, like I'm so sorry but your ass is NOT Eric... I know I talk about columposers a ton but they just make me super mad. We don't need anymore school shootings, it's not a competition and you're just making a fool out of yourself. I think Columbine and couple other shootings were all we needed and to get past but there's just more and more each year. Its always by some edgelord found their dads gun and just so happens to know what Columbine is. And like I've said before their manifestos are all the same some fuckin "They're all gonna feel my wrath 👿"

No they aren't... you're gonna end up injuring two people and then just shooting yourself, shut up. Sometimes the shootings aren't just Columbine based and some are caused by serious illness but I feel like we should get those checked out before anything. Like if your child is clearly showing signs that somethings wrong then I don't know, maybe talk to them? Take them to a doctor? Call someone? Many shootings could be avoided this way or just simply putting metal detectors inside schools that face a lot of threat. Now I know that me just saying this won't do anything for the world and this is just me ranting.

On the same topics of edgelords I also hate two specific people, first one is the like cannibal97 guy or whatever his name is. The guy whose convinced he's Eric and people in his anon sections who are like "ohemgee you make me wet >_<" WHAT. Excuse me.

And he's always flirting with them, if someone (an anon may I add) starts flirting with you and you are 17 and older then don't respond. Because you might be talking to a minor or someone much younger than you, because I know a lot of people are 13-14 and it's weird if they're talking to a 17-19 year old. Then there's the argument of "Well the younger person sent it and/or it was anonymous,". Yes but you (a 17-19 year old AKA a grown adult with basic thinking skills) shouldn't reply because it was probably anonymous for a reason, maybe because they didn't want you to know their age.

The second person is the Dylann roof fan who's user is 88aryan-2 and she's a white girl and says the n word and just seems like a rude person in general. Like you are not Dylann's top gal buddy 🙏. He's not gonna be released from prision and shown your rainbow dash tumblr account and suddenly say "Wow!! She's just like me fr! Maybe I should talk to her!" This is not a drama show, this is Tumblr out of all places.

Now I don't mind Dylann roof fans because most of them talk about the fact that he's a bad person which is good but when you're just acting like him it's just kind of cringe. I feel weird when someone on here says the n-word because you can never fact check if they're actually black (this is coming from a white guy, I don't have much room to talk)

In general I just don't like a lot of people on here or in this community because most are rude or just bad people or just straight up hard to talk to and be around. Of course there's awesome and kind people on this app and I love talking to people who are like actually nice people and understand where I'm coming from. But it's always the people who only think racism and Columbine are the only funny things. I know I'm kind of a boring person but some of these people actually have the personalities of dried Mac n cheese. Please get an orginal or just better personality, find a cool game or a fun hobbie or better friends, maybe just find friends in general.

[the-box-of-mine]

Melinda and demetrius: splitting and dissociation (part 2)

I was talking in the first part here about Melinda and her splitting episodes. In this part I will talk about the oldest son demetrius.

There's no lie in the fact his appearance was surprising, but also everyone knew that he didn't seem right.

But also he's very mysterious and understanding him is quite a challenge with the very little context we have of him. So let's dive into his character a little.

The unfocused look, very intimidating look, and eyebags under his eyes. Hell yeah, he got freaking 6 stellas and didn't even seem happy about it. He just looked very tired and just wanted to go to rest.

Damian and the rest of the gang approached him, and damian went to congratulate him of his achievement. But it seems that Demetrius looked very intimidating to him so he started to stutter. Demetrius took the lead of the conversation and asked him about his Stella (which indicates that Demetrius is actually looking at the progress Damian does academically, which is the most important aspect of demetrius's life). Normally when asked this type of question, it's normal to say "yeah how did you know?" "Yeah what do you think?". But not damian (my little child seems to struggle)😭, he instantly jumped into "how do you think father would think?" ,which is wrong in different aspects, firstly demetrius is the one who asked about his academics, so it felt very disrespectful to do that. Secondly , knowing how Damian gets annoyed with the girls in his class asking constantly about his father (and he's the second son with less remarkable achievements), I'm sure that Demetrius himself has even worse share in this experience, he doesn't even seem to have friends because he feels in different league, and people either intimidated by him or try to use him to get to his father. Lastly, it's their second time talking to each other in school, and damian still asked him in the same matter (about their father) which really gives an impression that he has nothing to ask about but this. But of course Damian didn't mean that, he's a little child who is trying to reach his family, Demetrius himself seems to have also problems with reaching out to others.

But even then he didn't get mad, even in his mind, he didn't get annoyed at damian, he just swayed away keeping his boundaries without any addition, something that neither Melinda nor Donovan did (imo he still got judged wildly). With one struggling with her emotions and splitting episodes, and deadbeat neglectful dad. Which made me believe that he is the one who has higher chances with having a stable relationship with damian. I talked more about this here but to summarise, demetrius is quite surprisingly patient with damian at most times. Considering their parents and his age too.

Now into his interesting mind, in chapter 93, anya tried reading his mind but got nothing at first, and the things she got was he (I don't understand) questions.

This hit very different seeing chapter 110, when Melinda said Donovan can read mind and even demetrius had been saying that.

A lot of people drew to the conclusion that Demetrius has this habit of blocking his mind since he knew his father can read mind, he restricted himself to not have any thoughts at all, which is very painful to think about, making your child anxious to this point is really a new low truly, donovan.

There had been questions about how this is even achievable, a state of blanked mind of barely any thoughts, Mr green talked a little about it when he was with damian and his friends. But let me explain this more.

What is demetrius doing is very similar to something called "dissociation", it's a state of complete stillness of thoughts, flowing through the stress, you can say it's like putting your mind in an autopilot mode. It's a coping mechanism many people do in response to stress and trauma, and its severity changes from one person to another.

Now it seems very peaceful coping mechanism, but it's a hell itself, it's like getting into a deep hole with, the more you get deeper, the more difficult it's to get out of it. The more time you spend doing it, the more it's hard to keep up with your life and tasks.

I'm pretty sure that if Demetrius had been doing it from a very young age, it means he definitely is having difficulty in keeping his thoughts flowing, and that he is not voluntary and completely controls his mind.

Now, what could happen if someone is dissociating excessively? It leads to many mental disorders and problems. The most insightful of them are (dissociative disorders). The three main disorders are (ranked with severity from lower to higher)

1-Depersonalization/ derealization disorder.

2-dissociative amnesia.

3- dissociative identity disorder (aka called multiple personality disorder in the past but the medical term changed)

Now I'm very sure with the amount of excessive dissociation demetrius expressed (and even indicate he started doing it very early). I'm sure he has derealization disorder, he's very out of touch with himself and feels very separated from his reality ,which is a perfect description of this disorder. I wouldn't be surprised if he had dissociative amnesia, like I wouldn't be surprised if he said he doesn't really remember having dinner with his family in chapter 106 (he really was out of touch and just eating his food, not giving care to the tension felt in that time).

(until now he didn't show any signs of being a system or having DID)

I'm sure he also has different mental struggles other than dissociation, but this one is the clearest one. Him and Melinda showed very clear signs of mental health struggles, I tried to analyse that, I hope that they both heal and get the help they need.

[viiinx]

- Isn't imperialism something that all the Lord commit? Beside keeping power over all of Fodlan in every ending, Claude hold power over Fodlan and intervene military with his far superior army as King of Almyra while Dimitri keeps the stolen Sreng territory ( the diplomatic relation does better in some of Sylvain ending, but no mention of relishing the annexed southern half is made ).

And I would say Edelgard is not driven by a desire for imperialism. In hopes, she ally with Claude and it's Dimitri that chose to opt out neutrality to fight the Empire. You cannot attack the Church without attacking the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and in a war of this scale the Alliance necessarily get involved. Otherwise she has no goal of conquest, as shown by her words towards Brigid ( Petra in chapter 18 explore, Petra endings in CF, Petra support especially in Hopes ) and Almyra ( Insurmontable paralogue )

- "An ideal you have no way of uphold" how so? Edelgard is pretty much shown to succeed in CF, it's what stated and indirectly showed in numerous endings?

- I think an important element to consider is that Edelgard is not only here to get rid of crest. She's explicitly here to get rid of the nobility too ( Edelgard support with Ferdinand (A), Caspar (A) Lysithea (A), Hanneman (B), Constance (A), CF event 10 "Facing the Kingdom" and many other, so many CF endings, etc ).

- Do they actually depend that much on Relics for survival? Holst is one if not the strongest soldier in Fodlan despite lacking a Crest and a relics, and even the strongest crest bearer like Dimitri and Rodrigue can fall easily to simple soldier.

- To be fair what Sylvain is suggesting kinda would be present without the Church influence. While it's not exactly his idea of a flame orb, the Church banned oil "Flammable Black Water: A sticky black liquid was discovered in northern Faerghus. It burns fiercely and emits a highly toxic gas." explicitly for its nature as a weapon "The use of this wicked substance was forbidden by decree of the archbishop for the following reasons:

1. Misuse could result in accidental death.

2. It could be used tactically by those lacking magical ability.

3. Competition for it could cause strife.".

- Dimitri and Edelgard AM dialogue is complex. To me they're both not really listening, their discussion was kinda useless. Dimitri says he comes to try to understand her actions but never actually does and Edelgard is already sure in her belief, none of Dimitri points are something she didn't reflect on before. On both side, they are already convinced of their ideal and aren’t there to change their mind.

- To me it's again important to consider Edelgard wants to abolish crest but also nobility which is very tied to it. Correct me if I'm wrong but the Faergus noble don’t show interest on that point, and in the case of Dimitri pretty strongly maintain it. As an example in one of his ending says he "secure their line as a dynasty that lasted for generations to comes". Or in Hopes he directly state he protect the Church because he needs the Church doctrine to legitimate his power.

As for Edelgard not collaborating it's because it's too risky and require information she does not and cannot have easily. You know what the Blue Lions want because you know them well, but Edelgard’s does not. Fhaergus is known as very traditional and seems to value the crest the most so it’s rational to generally assume they won’t be sympathetic toward reform against. It’s especially the case since the Blue Lions don’t really publicy show their disdain towards crest pre-timeskip. Dimitri even defend them with the same argument you're using on their necessity. Furthermore, Edelgard would risk to give her plan away if she were to try to make her intentions clearer to find ally. She's in a situation were she cannot alert the Church or it's ally ( which Faerghus is ), as well as constantly navigate TWSITD watchful gaze. She does make a careful attempt with Claude in pre-timeskip VW but it does not lead to anything sadly.

- Why is the Church not bad? They banned life changing invention ( the shadow library ), they censor book ( VW cutscene and the shadow library ), they lie about Fodlan whole history, they directly lie about the very religion they're propelling, they show hostility towards other religion ( the woman at the altar in the Abyss ) and non-believer ( Claude and Leonie support, "Dare not doubt or deny the power or existence of the goddess." from the book of Seiros ), in the case of the Nabateans they keep the same figure in power for centuries and present themselves as saints, they military intervene in other country to defend their interests ( all of white clouds ) and they maintain power over the nobility of each nation especially Faerghus, their religion is used to legitimate nobility and especially the Emperor/King/Duke through the idea that crest are a gift of the goddess, etc

my evolution as a fe3h fan is rlly funny to me lol. i played the game for the first time when i was 15 and now at 19 im playing through three hopes (yes im super late dont ask) and the fact that there have been times where ive been obsessed with EVERY HOUSE is rlly funny to me

at the start i was a claude and golden deer stan through and through bc funny meme house and also the nemesis fight

then when i was starting to get a little more politically minded i fell into the “edelgard did nothing wrong” camp because. yeah!!!! meritocracy!!!! united!!!! fuck religion!!!

and now as an adult with a lot more awareness and a lot less edgy atheism i came to the conclusion that not only is imperialism and destroying people’s lives for an ideal you have no concrete way of upholding bad, but the entire “let’s get rid of crests” argument is not even a solid one because it centers adrestia and doesn’t take into account the other two regions’ need for heroes relics.

correct me if i’m missing something or if i’m wrong, but no one in adrestia’s nobility actually has a hero’s crest. if they have crests, they’re saint crests, and saint crests have compatibility with sacred weapons, which are different to heroes relics because anyone can use them without turning into a beast.

additionally, adrestia doesn’t have any immediate neighbors that could cause them trouble. it doesn’t directly border a non-fodlan country, and they seem to have taken care of their brigid situation by kidnapping petra. the empire has no immediate threats.

the kingdom and alliance tho????? they border sreng and almyra respectively, which seem to invade at the drop of a hat and force houses gautier and goneril respectively to be in constant combat. those two houses literally DEPEND ON THEIR RELICS FOR SURVIVAL. until someone figures out a better way for them to defend their lands, they NEED crests!!!

obviously this isn’t necessarily a good thing, since we see the path that miklan and rufus as crestless older sons go down, but it’s not like the kingdom is exactly keen on keeping this in place either. in three hopes they talk a ton abt how crest bloodlines are dying out and how something needs to change. hell, sylvain is someone who directly benefits from faerghus’ crest dependency and yet in his supports with shez, he’s going and devising powerful weapons that people without crests can use!!! we see time and time again that the young nobles of faerghus are interested in the same things edelgard is: establishing a more equal society, and decreasing the need for crests. but why doesn’t she just collaborate with them to that end???? why doesn’t she hear dimitri out when he tries to talk her out of continuing on this path????

oh yeah. the church.

i’m probably gonna yap abt the church later lol i’m running out of steam on this ramble. tiktok is banned and so this is what i’ve resolved to do while i sip my morning coffee lol bear with me

[hellohello-kittykitty]

Littles everywhere shoud be proud....

🙊i managed to annoy a worldwide, group of very well off physicists to the point that they spent looots of time putting hidden, super mean, super derogatory,🔥🔥super infantilizing subtext directed at🙋🏼‍♀️*ME*......omg, at meEEE🙋🏼‍♀️the silly🔥Allybabble🔥🙊.

This is the (update) on the battle I've been off fighting for the last few years, and may explain why I haven't been able, for many reasons, to post as regularly

For example, the bullies working on the "Inside Job" literally called me a:

⭐👶🏼🔥🔥🐣🔥🔥⭐AB, poopee baby, said i had the i intelligence of around a 2-6 year old, called me r@t*r#d, dprbb, said i sleep/snore with a Nuks and wake up with streaks, and that I needed a wet nurse, and to be trapped forever in an imaginary timelike triangle of high school-2 month old nursery homework, etc....⭐🔥🔥🐣🔥🔥👶🏼⭐

They used subtext generated by character choices in complex math equations to hide messages in their niche papers (released over the last regarding the AdS holographic reconstruction index of gravity).

This seems paranoid, but i had leaked to this group (through a known leaky agent) recently that I was seeing patterns in equations like this (at the time, simply others' initials)

I was bullied, and let go of my job early, and blacklisted through a crazy rumour mill in very large part because my coworkers found out I was little. A co-worker squatted in my apartment and refused to leave using quid pro quo: that's how they started joking about my binkie for example.

There are not many physicists who understand quantum symplectic series matching in curved, gravity coupled backgrounds, and the community is unforgiving towards human traits

Others once compared "Regan" (did you know she's a really-real person?) to me, to embarrass her, and she swore personal vendetta (especially when learning I was little) ; her subtext message (last month) was that "R's inner commutative thoughts" say that "being compared to an adult baby is exponentially too much" for her. Regan telegraphed she'd be happy if I killed myself. My advisor swore vendetta, so did my coworkers.

This is actually a serious issue where very famous scientists judged someone unfairly, without giving her a chance to speak. They additionally called me a Nazi/racist, using SS and KKK labels, because I used twitter's Grok to process some of the bullying that had happened to me and, apparently, Grok notified🙄someone🙄central and official enough that "Regan" was actually gag ordered back to Washington in the middle of a worldwide, very famous string theory conference (at the beginning of 2025). I didn't ask for the AI to disclose anything or to help irl, I just shared what happened to me and the AI took action. I'm not a Nazi, I'm not a KKK member, holy jeeze...I believe in helping anyone, learning math, and love. That's it.

Scientists who claim to be grownups should know better: judgement is stupid, discourse is smart.

In fact, figuring the incomes of the several people involved writing these terrorist-inspired messages, it is likely that the overall cost of this🔥"joke"🔥alone was payed for by the (research earmarking) equivalent of my entire yearly, post-blacklist income, ~$10,000

Two things:

1) There were a lot of papers, and I've heard of this before. I bet this is actually common: somone with neural network linguistic searching could probably find these signals with degrees of tuning? They are clear, but embedded in the busiest of equations and personalized between physics, the names of my abusors, and my adult baby identity. Knowing about, and thinking of, all of these people/things while reading quantum holographic surface renormalization state mechanics is a crazy low probability state, so it's actually quick to understand why a powerful, upset group of people would do this: there are no other adult baby mathematicians which understand this material, so I'm the only person who would triangulate all of these messages.

OR, THEY KNOW THEY OWN US.

2) Maybe someone knows a way to use AI nn to prove that their notation choice was different for these papers? They did not collapse expressions, opting to leave messages redundantly in syntax this way.

I am genuinely not looking for "revenge": i think that being a bully is one of the few ways to be truly dumb. They wasted the world's ideas picking on a disabled girl, when they could have picked lettering to teach any number of other girls/boys the material that much quicker. BUT, if our community doesn't want to take this I'm prepared to fight; others compared me to Regan because I'm comparable to Regan. Fhat used to mean something to me but now, regardless help or hurt forward, towards unrespectable, spoiled shadows I guve a fuck: instead of planes, trains, and automobiles I got broken bones, infarctions, and blamed for all of it. I'm still here, and you're still talking about me, because I'm a part of all of this: I'm not going anywhere.

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you. Then they fight you, then you win."

But still....

....good thing I *AM* in fact a diapey baby Mathematician recovering from child abuse, strokes on both carotid sides (cleared as of last month!!!), who thinks that getting a group of avg IQ ~172 +/- 12 "serious young worldleaders" to waste their thoughts, puns, and love *hating* on me in an absurdly unprofessional, abusive, and internet-forever preserved way in *FUCKING IRL* isss HOOOOOT🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

OMG, it's the physics-yBaBy fan-fic version of the hottest infantilization ever (CAUSE THEY MEAN IT, OMG WHAT WEIRDOs: doing abdl play at work is like......OMG guys, y'alls not even gonna ask ta' change a girl yet???? Or are you?)

I would love nothing more than to find Tiger parents I could hang out with and do math around when we're not playing. I could give a shit about being a doctor somebody, but doing shits as a some-baby doctoring all the Who's-who in physics on how to have an unmatchably deep understanding of the universe? With a family I could lovelove, and who could lovelove me back? Now that's🔥really HOT🔥, and worth taking the time writing about.

[shoyoist]

realized i can talk about this here LMAO so i just finished the poppy war trilogy (r. f. kuang) a few days ago and i feel like i have a lot of unpopular opinions on that series... finished it and felt so incredibly angry that i did a google search to see if anyone agreed with me and,, i didn't see anyone agreeing with me ?? elaborating in the tagss

[jichanxo]

how it started:

how it's going: