#with all this said idk if i'll be able to enjoy thame_po to the fullest if they dont bring up the fact that they are in an mlm relationship

[projectjasper]

there is something very specific about certain "no homohobia in this world" series that just inherently does not work for me. like, typically, i love a little homophobialess situation. i love a romcom that just lets my queer characters be happy and in love or a main plot which has nothing to do with romance but which has a gay couple at its centre just being in love and doing their thing. in the right circumstances, in the right bubble, those kinds of series aren't even unrealistic. or they at the very least remove the possibility of homophobia rearing its ugly head in a way that feels like it is freeing me from its disgusting presence rather than invalidating my experiences with it.

but whenever it comes to something that is impossible to divorce from how it affects us in the real world because of how deeply homophobic society is, it just stops working for me. a gay relationship that's forced to be kept a secret will never not make me think of being forced to stay closeted and how not only historically, but in many places and circumstances still queer people simply do not even have the option to be in an open relationship because of homophobia. a gay relationship being revealed by someone else before one or both parties are ready will never not make me think of getting outed and the horrific implications of it in our homophobic world.

i don't know if this is sad or what, but to me these kinds of plots feel deeply disingenuous and make the kind of relationship that i actively seek out in media because it is relatable to me completely unrelatable, but with an additional sense of betrayal. when i watch a straight couple go through a secret relationship, for instance, the lack of relatability is not surprising at all - in fact, it is relatable in its lack of relatability in a way, because it clearly demonstrates experiences that are inaccessible to me because of the deep roots homophobia has in our history, culture, and society. but a secret gay relationship being treated exactly the same as a secret straight relationship evokes this sense of betrayal in me because of how heavily divorced from our reality it is. because certain situations and circumstances, if you attempt to divorce them from the struggle against homophobia, become so deeply fantastical, they no longer feel like they represent me at all. and that's kind of the whole thing about my yearning for media about people like me. it's the yearning to feel understood and represented.