#with alcohol this click hasn't happened yet and I don't know if I can do it without it

[there-will-be-a-way]

Three days sober and the cravings are getting stronger. Out of fear of impulsively buying alcohol and downing it in a park or something, I only leave the ward together with my roommate - which shows I'm acting responsible I guess.

On the inside I've been thinking about numbing myself like half of every waking hour, though (today). Like discharging myself. Just telling them I'm fine. Nope, I don't have any thoughts about S/I anymore. You can let me go. Or contemplating what would happen if I'd really just go to the store and get fully wrecked. That would cause so much drama. 75% is very keen on not doing it. The other 25% don't care.

Right now I feel like I'll certainly relapse once I'm home. Even want to turn down their offer to take me as a patient for their day clinic (and coming up with excuses for that inside my head). And since I think I'll relapse anyway, waiting another 7-10 days until I'm discharged feels like such a long time.

But my healthy self is still here too, and this self says "Stay here for these 7-10 days. Take this time as a chance to find a reason you want to stay sober for. Talk some more. Reflect on yourself."

The problem is with self worth. I really don't think I'm worth the help and care - especially not the help and care of others. (And yes, logically I know that's not true but my emotions don't care about logic.)

[Typing this to distract myself. Only 1 hour until I can take my sleep meds and tomorrow will be a different day 🤞🏻]

[ninja-muse]

Last month I clearly posted my wrap-up a day too early because I ended up DNFing a book that same day and therefore starting another. I don't think that'll happen again, but I'm making sure to schedule this for the first just to be sure.

Anyway, this was an all right month of reading—some greats, some simple okays—and a very good month for not acquiring books. Only one ARC came home with me, I offloaded three, and I'm almost certainly not going to buy any books in the last day of the month, but I still have 12 hours. That might change, in which case this post will also and you'll never know what I originally typed. Yeah, that worked well. Darn used bookstores!

You already know how much I liked The Briar Club. My other top reads were A Desolation Called Peace (anyone surprised?), Wandering Stars (outside my wheelhouse but good), and Nicked, which is also out in the summer and was my solo ARC haul of the month. If anyone thinks "gay medieval heist novel" sounds like a good time, they should pick that up. Also, anyone who likes cats and picture books needs to pick up Floof.

And my lows might as well start with my DNF from last month, I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons. I was really hoping it would pick up and I could push through, but it was just the wrong sort of silly for me. (I ended up going home without a book, then binging Most Ardently over the next couple days after my Libby hold came early.)

I also found The Deerfield Massacre to be odd—less rigorous than I'd have liked, a little wobbly on its thesis, doing a poor job of balancing "this must have sucked for the survivors" with Indigenous perspectives and an awareness that the Europeans were, in fact, colonizers. And A Letter to the Luminous Deep sounded so good, but I found it slow and couldn't quite connect to the characters or world.

I don't know how May is going to go, in terms of reading, so this book might end up being my review of the month, but I'm enjoying it so am going to rec it now: Evelina! Frances Burney was one of Austen's favourite authors and I can absolutely see why, and how she influenced her. If you like Austen's novels, you should 110% pick this up, because it's got romantic troubles, a highly embarrassing family, a number of awkward balls and parties, and all manner of drama. Why hasn't this been adapted? It should have been years ago.

Lastly in bookish and/or life news, my store's latest Indie Bookstore Day party was a rousing success and I don't think my legs have recovered yet from all the walking. My ability to socialize almost certainly hasn't. (It's been three days.) Thank goodness for book lovers and my fellow booksellers. Couldn't have done it without all of them.

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine

The war with the aliens is not going well and Mahit Dzmare and Three Seagrass are called on to help. Which won’t be easy, but it’s harder because politics.

8.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main characters (bisexual, sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 author

library book

Wandering Stars - Tommy Orange

150 years in the life of a Cheyenne family, before and after the events of There, There.

8/10

largely Cheyenne cast, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (multisexual, nonbinary), Cheyenne-Arapaho author

warning: genocide, alcoholism, addiction, drug use, self-harm

library book

The Briar Club - Kate Quinn

A new boarder moves into Briarwood house in Washington, D.C. in 1950, upending the dull day-to-day. Four years later, someone dies. Out in July.

8.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 POV character (bisexual), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic), Black secondary and minor characters

warning: domestic abuse, murder, race riot

reading copy

Nicked - M.T. Anderson Brother Nicephorus accompanies the saint hunter Tyun and his piratical crew on a mission to, erm, liberate the bones of St. Nicholas. Out in July.

8.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (Achillean), major 🏳️‍🌈 character (Achillean), major Central Asian character, Muslim secondary characters

reading copy

Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook - Terry Pratchett with Stephen Briggs and Paul Kidby (illustrator)

A collection of Nanny Ogg’s recipes and thoughts.

7.5/10

gifted/off my TBR shelves

Most Ardently - Gabe Cole Novoa

Oliver Bennett yearns to live on his own terms, under his real name, and kiss boys. Unfortunately, the first boy in question, one Fitzwilliam Darcy, might like him as Oliver but hates his “other self”.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (trans man), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (gay, bisexual women), 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: deadnaming, misgendering

library ebook

Slippery Creatures - KJ Charles

When various threatening men appear in Will Darling’s bookshop seeking information he doesn’t have, Will turns to the first helpful person he meets—an aristocrat named Kim.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonists (bisexual man, achillean), Black Welsh secondary character

library ebook

A Letter to the Luminous Deep - Sylvie Cathrall

In 1002, E. and Henerey begin a correspondence. In 1003, her sister and his brother begin to piece together what might have happened to them.

6.5/10

POV character with anxiety disorder, 🏳️‍🌈 POV characters (lesbian, bi man), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (sapphic, achillean), brown-skinned secondary character

reading copy

Hansel and Gretel - Neil Gaiman with Lorenzo Mattotti (illustrator)

An illustrated retelling.

7/10

off my TBR shelves

The Deerfield Massacre - James L. Swanson

The story of an infamous raid in 1704 New England, and the way it’s been mythologized since.

5/10

warning: racism, violence, murder, murder of children

library book

Picture Books

The Pie Reports - Hayley Lowe

Noor and Granddad love pie, but there’s an ocean between them, so they meet every week to eat pie on video chat. Then one day, Granddad doesn’t log on—he’s having a blue day.

🇨🇦

Floof - Heidi McKinnon

A day in the life of Floof the cat.

DNF

I’m Afraid You’ve Got Dragons - Peter S. Beagle

Robert doesn’t want to be the country’s dragon exterminator on the best of days, but then Princess Cerise meets Prince Reginald. Out in May.

Currently reading

Evelina - Frances Burney

Evelina travels to London and learns that the only thing more distressing than suitors is her newly discovered family. Inspired Austen.

off my TBR shelves

The Demon of Unrest - Erik Larson

The story of the six months leading up to the American Civil War.

warning: racism, slavery

reading copy

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 10 + 2 Yearly total: 42 Queer books: 5 Authors of colour: 2 Books by women: 4 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 0 Classics: 0 Off the TBR shelves: 2 Books hauled: 4 ARCs acquired: 1 ARCs unhauled: 4 DNFs: 1

January February March

[dre6ming]

I wish to see the fatal flaw

“I stayed there” series~ part VI

Masterlist

𓆩Part V𓆪

𓆩Part VII𓆪

To be added to the tag list click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: mature language, alcohol, cursing, sexual descriptions, fluff, angst…. Hope that’s all

Plot: you and your mom have never been on the same page, Austin being no different. What happens when he calls you drunk and you go to his rescue?

Word count: 4800

I wake up at the sound of my phone ringing. Angry I turn on my side and reach for the culprit of my unwanted wake up. Without looking at the caller I put the phone up to my ear. "What?" I ask in the most annoyed and sleep laced tone. "Don't what me, miss! I'm on my way, to your place, I'll be there in five." My moms voice has the same effect as having a tub of ice water dumped on your head. "Yes, yeah, sorry." The line goes silent before I get another word out.

Putting the phone down I look around for the first time. I'm not in my room. Fuck me. I'm still in the tent from last night. I feel asleep here. Fuck. I feel tears prick my eyes. I frantically search for my car keys. "(Y/n)?" I huff angry, not at him, at her, but still. "Not now Austin!" Finding my keys, I get out and make a run for it. Why does it seem like all I do lately is run or cry?. "Hey (y/n)!" I can hear Austin calling out for me, but I can't stop, my fucking mom is on her way to my apartment. My apartment where I was supposed to sleep, but I didn't sleep there, I slept here, with a boy, with Austin. I know I'm 26, but my mom still has a hold of iron on me. I think if she could she would glue herself to my hip. Best thing about Boston? She couldn't just spawn like this.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I try to drive fast, but still safe. My phone starts ringing again, i glance at it to see that it's not my mom and I just keep driving. Somehow I make it to my apartment and up the stairs before my mom. Bursting through the door, I find Betty in the kitchen drinking coffee. "Wow, slow down Sonyc!" I rush into the bathroom, wash my face and teeth at lightning speed. Running a brush through my hair, I put it up in pony.

Betty hands me a cup o coffee as I get in the kitchen. Her eyes scan me. "My mom called, she'll be here in 5, not a word about Austin." Just as I finish to say that, my mom comes in through the door, without even knocking. "Morning mom!" I try to put on the best smile, but she's unfazed. Always a sweet lady mom. Always. I sigh and drink some of my coffee, praying she doesn't see that I just got  here, moments before her.

"(Y/n)?" I freeze, she knows, fuck, how does she know? Shit, shit. "Yes mom?" I try to keep calm, maybe she hasn't figured out my act quite yet. "Is that a stain on your shirt?" I look down and yes that is, in fact, a stain on my shirt. "I'll go change." I say and move to my room. Grabbing a new shirt and returning to the kitchen, I find mom and Betty in a very uncomfortable silence. "Ok mom lets go." I say, grabbing my bag.

"Is that a cat?" She says looking at Boots before I get the chance to leave. "Yes mom." I say, I hate that she thinks it's her right to say whether or not I can have a cat. "Is it yours?" I shake my head and open the door. I hear her following me and I know she's packing her rage for the car ride. Getting in her car, I put the seatbelt on and wait for her to scold me. But she doesn't, she's silent. And she keeps on being silent for the remainder of the day. We do some shopping, mostly new things I might need as new resident at the hospital. Then we have some lunch, again a very silent and awkward lunch. If she doesn't speak to me soon, anxiety might kill me.

On the drive back to my place, she finally decides to speak, turning the radio off. "Is that girl going to be staying at your house for long? I hope not, you are no longer in college and you need to be focused as ever. And the cat, I hope it goes with the girl, that thing will only be time consuming and dirty. Am I understood?" She keeps her eyes straight ahead, but her voice is strong. "Mom that cat is mine and it leaves in my house. Betty won't stay longer than a few days"

The bitter laughter my mom lets out has me shaking in my seat. "Your house? That was my and your father's money, not yours." I want to scream, but I can't so I just bite my tongue. I can taste blood in my mouth and that kinda brings me to stop biting so hard, but the pain keeps me grounded. "I expect you do as I say if you want to be great! Go now, I have to start my shift at the hospital soon!" Oh yeah, did I tell you my mom is also a doctor? Did I tell you she's one of the best oncologist in LA? I don't think I did, because it doesn't change a thing about how mean she is with me. "Bye mom!" I take my bag and go, tears already falling down my face.

When I get home Betty isn't there, she left a note on the fridge saying she's out with an old family friend. As much as I love her, I'm thankful she doesn't have to see me have a breakdown because of my mom. The phone rings and I ignore it, but it keeps ringing. I answer the call, trying to compose myself a bit. "Ah there she is!" Confused I look at the caller id, since I answered without doing that. It's Austin. "Austin?" He laughs. Is he drunk? I can hear music in the background. "Already forgot about me?" He lets out a fake cry and I can hear glass clinging. "Where are you?" I ask, worried that he might get himself in danger. "Bar?" I sigh, struggling to keep calm. "Which bar?"

"I don't know? A bar? Why d ya care?" He's slurring his words, that means he's really drunk. "Tell me where you are Austin." For a minute I don't hear anything else than the commotion happening around him. My heart rate picks up and I can feel the blood in my veins grow ice cold. "Hello?" A new wave of concern washes over me. "Austin?" I say hoping the voice just seemed different. "Yeah your boyfriend 's here, you should come pick him up, dude is wasted." I grab my keys and run out the door. "Ok tell me where!"

I'm sure I ran over a red light, I must've, oh god my mom is going to kill me. I shake my head, that doesn't matter now, Austin matters. I get to the bar and go in. The place is crowded, even though it's only 8 pm. When my eyes catch Austin, sitting at the bar, having an obvious disagreement with the bartender, my heart drops. To get his drunk he must of been here for a few hours already. I make my way through the sea of people. "Austin" I say and he turns to look at me. Immediately he smiles brightly, arms falling heavy on my waist and pulling me to him. "Hm you smell good" he says as a clumsy hand of his goes to the back of my head to stroke my hair. "Let's go!" I say, trying to push back from him, so I can get a better look at him. "No!" His voice is stern and suddenly his face shows anger.

I've never seen him like this. It breaks my heart. "Baby, come with me!" I try to avoid the lump in my throat as I speak. Taking one of his hands in mine, I make him stand up. Bad idea. He comes stumbling forward and almost brings us to the ground. Austin catches himself, by prompting both hands on the bar and caging me.  His mouth drops to my ear. "I missed you." He says and makes me shiver. I can smell the strong alcohol on him. I hug him, resting my head on his chest. His chin stays on top of my head. "Let's go, please!" I say, hoping to reason with him.

Austin nods and moves to the side so that I can walk. I take his wallet and phone off the bar, loop one arm around his waist as I drape his over my shoulders. We stumble all the way to the car and I struggle to get him in, but I eventually make it happen. "Where do you live?" I ask looking at him. Austin crooks a brow at me. "You really don't know where I live?" He ask. I shake my head and start driving. I get to the gate of his house and assuming that the code is still the same, I just type it in. The whole drive he stayed quiet, at one point I thought he fell asleep, but no, he was staring at me the whole way to his house. "Ok, can you walk?" He shakes his head with a cheeky smile. I sigh and get out of the car, going to his side. "Come on!" I say and drag him out. I give him a minute to rest against my car, so that everything around him can stop spinning long enough for him to walk to the door.

Austin takes my hand and we walk to the door. "Where's the key?" He grunts and make a funny attempt to search in his front pants pocket. I move his hand away and put my mine inside the pocket feeling for the keys. "Hm I've dreamed of this, fuck!" He says, letting his head to fall back. I take the keys out and unlock the door. I ignore what he just said, I don't feel like joking with him, this is serious. Trying to push him through the door he grabs my hips and brings me closer to him. I know Austin, I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but I can't help my body tensing up. "Stay!" One of his hands cups my face, thumb caressing my bottom lip. "Please!" He begs.

Nodding I push out of his arms and he lets them fall limp. I close the door behind us, turning some lights on. I take my shoes off and he struggles to do the same, but almost falls on his face. Little grunts and huff are heard from him, as I go to the kitchen to boil water to make some tea, searching for some advil in the process. When I get back from the kitchen, he's still in the entryway, struggling with the shoes. I go to my knees and help him. "So pretty!" He says looking down at me and when I lift my eyes up to meet his, he licks his lips, stoping a moan on the way. I blush and get up to my feet. "Let's get you to bed" I say patting his chest playfully. He offers me a crooked smile. "Ok" I know he's starting to sober up since there were so many dirty jokes that could've come out of what I had just suggested.

Austin drops on the bed and I go looking for his pajamas. Finding them in the drawer he always had them in, I go back to the bed and force him to a sitting position. I lift his sweater up, but his hands stop me. "You don't have to baby." I smile at the sweet remark. "It's fine, come on help me." He stands up on wobbly legs, gets undressed of his outside clothes and puts the pajamas on. On my way to the kitchen to see about that tea, I drop the dirty clothes in the laundry.

When I get back with a cup of hot tea and medicine, he looks like he's already fast asleep. I move some hairs out of his face and turn to leave. He grabs my hips before I can get far. "Stay" it's all he says. "I will, promise" I take his hands off of me and go to the bathroom to change in one of his T-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. The clothes are big on me, but they smell like him and they bring me a kind of comfort I haven't had in a long time. I climb on the other side of the bed and leave an arms length between us. Austin turns to face me.

"Thank you!" He extends a hand to caress my face. I close my eyes and get lost in his touch. "Why did you do it?" I ask, referring to him getting drunk. "I thought I lost you, you ran away from me!" My heart gets a shot of pain and I struggle to breathe. "My mom called, she was coming over, I had to get home before her" he giggles, hiding his face in the pillow. This laughter is contagious so I join him. "She still hates me?" He ask and I shake my head. "No she still hates everything I do" I say. "That's stupid, you're 25" he says and my laughter dies down. Even in his intoxicated state he sees that his words touched a sensitive part of me.

Using both arms he brings me to his chest and I don't fight it, because I need it, as much as I hate to admit it, I need him this close. Over the smell of whiskey I can smell his cologne, it's still the one I bought for him, so I'm now convinced he kept on buying it. "I'm sorry!" He says walking a hand up and down my back. "Yeah me too!" I say and snuggle my face in his shirt. Soon we fall asleep like this, hugging, in his bed, like the past three years never happened.

I feel hot, too hot for my liking, so I try to push the blanket off of me, but I soon come to realize it's not a blanket. Austin is holding me tight to his chest, little snores coming out of his mouth. He looks so calm, but the dark circles around his eyes tell me this is probably the first time his slept this long in a while. I stop stirring, I can endure the heat if it means that he gets to rest a bit. With every cell in my body I ignore that little voice trying to tell me to run for the hills. I love the way my heart beats in a regular rhythm, like it has found it's comfort.

Austin starts moving a bit and I go stiff. "Morning." He says in a raspy voice. Sleep still lingering on him. "Morning" I say, looking down at our tangled legs, to hide my burning cheeks. One of his hands takes my chin and forces me to look at him. "I missed this." He says and goes in for a kiss, but I turn my head so that his lips touch my cheek, not my lips. He sighs and lets me go of his embrace. The fact that I just deflected his kiss seems to have upset him. Getting up, Austin goes to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. I sit up on the bed and hug my legs to my chest. I hear the shower turning on, god I want to shower so bad, I haven't since before our date. Is that what it was? A date? I close my eyes desperate to shut my brain.

When the bathroom door opens so do my eyes. In the doorway a half naked Austin, with a towel hanging low on his hips, shows up, looking surprised at me. "You can go, you know?" He says brushing a hand through the wet locks on his head. "Don't be like this, please Austin!" I say looking away. I feel the bed dipping under his weight as he sits on the edge of it. "I'm sorry, I just, I don't know what to say" his head hangs low, while he fiddles with his hands on his lap. I crawl over to him and hug him from behind. Letting out a sigh he relaxes in my hug and his hands come up to hold onto my intertwined arms. My lips ghost over the back of his neck and he trembles in response. "You can just say 'thank you' and then let me have a shower." I speak with my lips against his warm skin. "Thank you for everything!" He says. "You've welcome. Now you can say 'Go have a shower, I'll make coffee'" I say giggling and he joins in too. "Go have a shower, I'll make coffee" he repeats after me, which makes me laugh even harder. With a last kiss to his shoulder, I get up and go take a well deserved shower.

When I come out, I smell like him, but as soon as I make my way to the kitchen I smell the coffee. I stop in the doorway watching him flip an omelette in the pan. I didn't even ask him for it, he just did it, like he always used to when we'd spend the night together. Austin is now wearing a black long sleeve shirt and a pair of dark blue sweatpants, I can see the muscles of his back through the thin material. Thank you shirt. When he turns around to put the plates on the table, he sees me, a big smile appearing on his face. After giving me a look over his eyes seem to twinkle. I look at myself and remember I chose to change back into his clothes, that I wore to bed. "Um I hope you don't mind." I say blushing as I go to sit down.

Austin puts the coffee mug in front of me and then joins me at the table. "No god, I don't mind, you look...well you look so beautiful" he says and my heart swells with joy. "So how's the head?" I ask drinking some the coffee. Wow he made it just how I liked it. How did he? "Good, I drank the advil you put on my nightstand" my unspoken question must be all over my face since he goes on to say. "Oh and of course I remembered, 3 espresso with whole milk" I smile shaking my head at him. I eat some of the omelette and I have to restrain the moan of pleasure. It's just how I remembered it, fluffy, cheesy and with tomatoes. "This is so good!" I say and it's his turn to blush.

"About last night..." I interrupt him quickly. "I don't hold it against you Austin. I glad you called, it's not safe to get drunk like that." He avoids my eyes. "I know, but I shouldn't have made it your problem." I shake my head. "Not a problem, your safety is important for me, always was, always will be" I say as serious as I can. He nods and starts eating. For a while we sit in a comfortable silence, enjoying breakfast. "I'm sorry for running like that yesterday." I really am sorry. "It's ok, I shouldn't of fallen asleep, it was my fault." I almost choked on my omelette and I have to drink some water to recover. He's by my side in a second, running a comforting hand over my back. "Easy there, breathe!" He says. "I'm fine" i say and squeeze his hand 3 times to reassure him. Hesitant Austin goes back to his seat. "I said I'm sorry for running, not for failing asleep with you on the beach. My mom called."

He swallows hard, wiping his hands on the top of his thighs. "Yeah I know, I remember you told me last night." Oh I guess it's good that he remembers. I hate when we get awkward like this. It's not like us. "I really meant what I said, I want to get to know you again Austin, I'm almost 26, I'm done running and I'm done doing as my mom says. She said I should get rid of Boots, can you imagine?" He looks sad for me as he listens. That he's always been good at, listening, he always listened. "She threw it in my face that I bought the apartment with their money so she has a right to say if I can or can't have a cat. I mean yeah it was their money, but it was my college fund, that they gifted to me and that wasn't drained out because I worked hard for scholarships." I pass a shaking hand through my hair. My mom's attitude towards me, never fails to send me into a panic attack. "Come here!" Austin gets up and lifts me up from my chair, giving me a tight hug.

"I'm proud of you too, you're a doctor (Y/n) and you've worked so hard. I was dick to you and you didn't deserve it, but your mom has no right to question everything you do, that much I know." I lift my head from his face and look at him. His blue eyes find my (e/c) eyes and for a moment everything feels as it should. He kisses my forehead and his lips linger there for a while. "Ok, now I'll rinse and you load, deal?" He says stacking up the plates, putting them in the sink. I giggle and go help him.

After everything is cleaned, we find ourselves on his couch. I text Betty to tell her where I am and to ask her to feed Boots. She texts me back to remember to use protection and too edge him a bit since he deserves it. Her dirty texts make be blush and roll my eyes at her childish behavior. "What?" Austin asks me, causing me to lift my eyes from the phone. "Nothing!" I say but as I put my phone on the coffee table giggles shake my body. "Ok miss 'I'll giggle on my own for nothing' " he says laughing at me. "I was texting Betty and she said to remember condoms and to not let you cum too fast, apparently you deserve some edging" I say and his face falls, this is the first time anything this filthy as come out of my mouth. He's frozen, cheeks burning. I laugh so hard that I have to hold my stomach. Wiping the tears from my eyes I clam down, enough to see that he's sill processing what I just said. I struggle to keep serious. "What happened Butler, cat got your tongue?" I ask.

He shakes his head, blinking, trying to come back from wherever him mind carried him. "You can't say things like that to me, it's not funny" I bring my brows together confused and then I see him shift his position, but before he does my eyes catch a glimpse at the bulge evident through his sweatpants. "Oh" I say and move my eyes at the tv, that has some news channel playing. He chuckles, coming closer on the couch. One of his hands goes to my back and the other sits on my knee. My breath gets caught in my chest as his lips kiss my ear. "You drive me crazy, you know that?" He asks, hot breath fanning over my skin.

I find myself nodding and swallowing hard. Do I really? Make him crazy? I turn my head and my nose bumps into his. He smiles a bit, but it goes away fast. We are so close. I could just... I close my eyes and lean into him. Our lips touch, kissing slowly, enjoying the feeling. His hand moves up from my knee to my thigh. My hands move to his neck, playing with the soft hair there. I moan into in mouth and that gives him the opportunity to push his tongue in. He groans as he pushes me back on the couch, coming to sit in top of me.

My hips move involuntarily into his, but his hands holding my waist now stop me, but not soon enough. He pushes his crotch into mine and we both sigh in pleasure. My heart is doing laps in my chest, I can't stop, he feels so good, this feels so good. He and I never got further than this, in fact I've never gone further with anyone. Everything is so new, so exciting. I want to touch all of him, my hands feel hungry to feel his skin. His lips pepper kisses on my neck. Our hips move in sink and I feel a sweet warmth in between my legs. I hug his waist with my legs and push him further into me. "Austin..." I moan, I can feel a strange thing in my lower belly, like an itch that needs to be scratched and his hips moving over mine does just that. "Please!" I say. I don't know what I want, but I know I need it.

My hands move to his shirt, starting to pull it up, needing to feel him as close as possible. His hands stop me though. He stops altogether, now frozen over me. "No, baby, listen, it's not that I don't want to. Fuck I'm so hard right now I think I could burst" he pushes his crotch forward so I can feel. I arch my back into him and moan. "Fuck, don't do that. I- I need to control myself with you. I promise you, we will, some day I'll make love to you. But not today, not like this, on a couch after you've picked me up from the bar the night before. I want to make love to you when I know that I've won your heart back" his words make me feel lightheaded, they carry so much care and love. I can't stop myself when I take his head in my hands and bring him in for a kiss. "I want to take you out again. Can I?"

His question makes me laugh, throwing my head back. "Yes, you can." Austin kisses both of my cheeks and then my lips again. He gets up and sits on the couch casually flipping through the channels on the tv. I straighten myself and try to gain some composure, but it's difficult. The feeling in my belly hasn't gone away and I know he must feel the same. "So where are you taking me out?" He smiles biting his lip. "Oh wouldn't you like to know!" He teases. I huff defeated. "Ok then mister, I'll go home and get ready for our date. Be so kind to at least tell me the dress code?" I ask hopeful to get some information out. He shakes his head and laughs at my disappointed face. "Surprise me!" Austin says.

I go to his room and change back into my clothes, folding his nicely and placing them on the bed. When I come out he looks sad. "My clothes looked better on you." He says grimacing. I only giggled and go to kiss the top of his head. Austin hugs my hips and lays his head on my tummy. "Can't wait to see you again tonight." He says. I massage his scalp with my hands and he lets out a satisfied sigh. I kiss his head one more time and he walks me to the door. He waits in the doorways until I drive out the gates, smiling at me.

All the way home I can't help but smile and the warm feeling in my heart only grows when I think about seeing him again. Maybe this is a good thing, I try to tell myself, but it'll take some time to completely kill that small voice in the back of my mind saying 'be careful'. I shake my head, trying to shake that voice away. Turning on the radio I hum to the music. I'm happy and until proven otherwise I'm gonna stay happy. Or at least I'll try.

Tags: @kittenlittle24 @amorx @cryingabtab @lexicox044 @lrissa @feral4austinbutler @sageskywalker @jesssssicaa @rainydayz101 @flwersgarden @bobthefishiesworld @captured-memory @homebodybirkin2003 @galaxygirl453 @butlerslut @chrisevansgirl34 @myradiaz @pennyroyalcreep @macey234 @im-lame-irl @lordandmistress @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @poppet05 @gabbywontlose

[vemuabhi]

Disney Romance - Cinderella’s Bird - 200 followers special

@littlesniggy​ said : Hey you! Now it's my turn to request something! Kida sad you don't write for Akainu but I can understand 😂 He's an asshole! If it hasn't been requested yet, would you do Mulan/Cinderella with Kid x female reader? I'm super excited which one you choose/ if you choose it at all! Thank you!

A/N : Omg thankyou so much for sending an ask @littlesniggy​ san!!! I am so excited to answer this for you! I loved writing for the grumpy boy. This was really a beautiful experience writing this for Eustass KIdd. Please don’t have high expectations for this.

Warning : A big fic written by me. But has a happy ending.

Word count : 2.7K

I hope you like it!

XOXOXOXO

“Why the hell should I get married now?”, you complained to your Robin who always was beside you, she was a maid but you always admired her and always treated her like a friend not like a maid.

Robin sighed and patted your head as she took the place beside you on the bed. “I should have the choice when I want to get married. Not some jerk who is randomly selected by my parents”, you scoffed and plopped back on the soft burgundy-coloured bedsheets. Robin gave you a sad smile and said, “That’s true. I too believe that marriage should be for Love”

Being a princess isn’t easy. Every girl dream to be a princess but its not as beautiful like the fairy tales are. You are a live example for that. Not once you could decide for yourself. Even the big puffy yellow gown you were wearing was not of your choice. The corset was killing you inside. You wanted to rip it off and throw it out of your window. With language classes, you always had dance classes, tea sessions, music classes. Everything that was chosen by your parents, was practically forced upon you.

‘What kind of lunatic needs to learn how to drink tea?’, you cursed the tea sessions when ever you were being called to it. All you did was brew tea and drink during the whole time. The music classes were always a hectic. You wanted to learn an instrument but when you were given another. Your wishes were denied because who cares about your dreams? In the beginning even dance classes were troublesome, But you tried to put up with all those demands of your parents. In return they are now trying to get you married as soon as possible.

“I’m done with this Robin”, you spoke and got up. “I’ll do whatever I want”, your voice was stern and Robin was curious on what you were about to do.

“Cancel todays classes, I’ll be going to visit the town to relieve my stress”, you announced briskly walking towards the closet.

“Are you sure your highness? But how can you go alone? You must have someone wit-”

“Robin! Its fine. I can take care of myself”, you didn’t let her finish her sentence. Throwing your corset on the floor and dressing up like a maid didn’t take long enough. You made your way towards the secret passage in the palace and exited the palace. Even though Robin was worried, she had to stay back in the castle to make sure no one notices your leaving.

The town and the market were as lively as ever and you walked around the place. As you kept walking, you saw a couple who looked very much in love. You felt a bit envious of them. At least the commoners had the freedom to do what they like. As you were walking aimlessly in the market, you bumped into a tall buff guy.

“Oh I’m sorry”, after apologising you thought of leaving but it didn’t go well.

“Hey! How can you go away like that?” the man started to fight with you. As you felt the very heavy scent of alcohol hit your nostrils, you knew that this man was heavily drunk.

“What? I apologised so what’s your problem now?” you questioned as your dominant hand slowly reached for the sword hidden in your skirt.

“You bitch how dare you speak back to me?” he raised his hand to land a hit on you but just when you were about to take out the sword, his had was stopped mid-air. You then saw a man who had red hair. As soon as the jerk saw that man, it seemed like his senses came back to him again.

“Asshole! Didn’t I tell you this is my shop and never make a scene in front of it”, the man shouted at the rogue twisting his arm. He winced in pain as he apologised and ran away.

The red haired man went into a shop, what seemed like a shop of vegetables and fruits. ‘Was he a farmer?’, you thought and followed him. Looking inside, there were so many fresh vegetables and also fruits in the shop.

“What do you want?”, a sharp voice questioned making you turn towards the owner of the voice. It was the same red head from before.

“Uh, I… I’m here to buy”, you said and looked around again trying to seem convincing. He huffed and sat on a chair fiddling with something which seemed like a machine. Your interest perked up and you asked him, “What are you making?”, moving closer to take a peek at the machine.

“Why should I tell you?”, he spat but as he looked at your face, he noticed that your eyes were sparkling with curiosity and interest.

“Tsk”, he clicked his tongue and explained about the way he wanted to make a machine bird as you listened to him carefully. He kept telling you how helpful machines would be if used in the correct way.

“But, don’t you think, this material you are using to make this bird is kinda… cheap and looks like its gonna break soon?”, you questioned for which he frowned and replied, “Don’t you think I already know that? I… I just don’t have the money”, mumbling the last part.

“Oh! I got an idea. Listen to me, uhh..”

“Eustass Kidd”

“So, Kidd As this bird is still in the beginning process, I’ll bring you the material tomorrow. Till then don’t touch this. Okay now I need to leave. I’ll be taking this basket here”, you said and took a basket of strawberries and tossed a coin to him.

“HEY WAIT!! YOU DIDN’T EVE- and she’s gone”, still with that grumpy look Kidd took his screw driver to continue working on the bird. But he remembered you telling him to wait till tomorrow. So he sat back in his chair and exhaled.

“Its not because she told me to wait. I… I want to continue this tomorrow”, he huffed and folded his hands. Then he remembered about the coin you threw.

He opened his palm and his eyes widened as he looked at the coin. It was a gold coin. A freaking gold coin for a basket of strawberries.

“No way. What the heck is she thinking?”, he carefully placed it back in the locker and thought to give it back to you tomorrow.

At the castle you came back and continued with your remaining day. You should leave tomorrow. So you need to make plans.

“Robin I need you to do something for me”, you explained how you needed high quality metal and also the timings of classes to be shifted. So, it did happen and you had continuous morning classes without breaks but, you were a free after them and it made you to take material Kidd wanted to make the bird. Changing out from your attire of a princess you went to the same shop as yesterday. There you found the man coming towards you as if he was waiting for you all along.

“I got the material you need”, you said as you placed it beside his table where the bird was supposed to be made.

“Were you waiting for me? Sorry I was late”, you said and he instantly replied, “Wha- Who was waiting for you?”

“Ah ok”, you muttered as you saw him instantly looking and taking the material with a faint pink shade on his cheeks. He looked just like a child exited to play with his toys.

“Where the hell did you even get these? These are clearly expensive?”, his sudden questions made your thoughts to break.

“Ah… I got it from the Kings dumpster”, you made the blankest expression trying to hide your lie.

“Kings Dumpster?! The King threw away this metal when it’s like this?”, he asked as his brows raised when you just nodded.

“Tsk… and here I am, trying to get re-rid of rust from metal. Using them for the 100th time”, he huffed.

You both sat opposite to each other and he worked on the bird as you learned about the work he was doing. Helping him with giving the appropriate tool at times, you had more fun than you ever had in your life. He tried to return the gold coin but you didn’t take it and made a deal to take vegetables or fruits in return, for which he agreed. You both fist bumped as an agreement of the deal.

From that day, you made your way out of the castle to meet Kidd. Surprisingly, he always waited for you to come to work on the bird. Meanwhile he somewhere started to call you little lady and you actually liked it. It became a routine for you to take a basket of veggies or fruits every time you left the shop. Sometimes he’d you’d tag along with him to his small farm. He was totally proud of his farm. His eyes showed it. Where you knew you never felt that feeling that he was feeling. Never once in your life you felt you were proud of something you did. He was living a complete different life than yours. You found your heart skip a beat every time Kidd smiled. You liked him.

Kidd was unique. He was terrible in showing his emotions but he was a good person. Every time you left the castle for him, seemed right. You actually felt happy seeing him and working with him. But of course, this happiness didn’t last long. Your parents wanted you to get married soon and told you to pick a groom for yourself in the ball that is going to be hosted next week. Bloody next week.

Because of the ball, you had to take even more classes for walking like a princess and also more fashionistas coming to find the perfect gown for you. Due to those, you couldn’t meet Kidd for 4 days.

Meanwhile, Kidd waited for you staring at the front door of his shop. Whenever the door opened, he met with disappointment because it wasn’t you. He couldn’t even continue on his bird. He had doubts on his feelings for you but now, it was clear for him that he liked you. Your thoughts haunted him. His heart earned for you. Only for you to return.

After a long hard day of work, you sneaked out of the castle in the evening and went to Kidd’s shop. You opened the door and your eyes met with Kidds. You both stared at eachother for a few seconds before he spoke.

“Come in”, you obliged and walked into the shop towards the desk where you both made bird. It was just like it was 3 days ago. “You didn’t continue to make the bird?”, you inquired as he just turned away and shook his head as he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.

“Kidd, its late and I have to leave soon so listen to me”, his vision shifted to you as he gulped.

“But you just came, why do you have to leave?” he asked as he approached you and placed his hands on your shoulder.

“Aww did you miss me?” you tried to tease him but this time, he neither denied nor looked away from you blushing. He stayed silent for a while before he said, “I did”

You didn’t even expect that from Kidd. His hands travelled down from your shoulders to your hands. “I did miss you. So much that I couldn’t even touch that bird”, He looked serious. He placed one hand on your chin and looked into your eyes.

“I didn’t… I didn’t think your thoughts would haunt me that much when you didn’t come. I… I didn’t know when, why or how. But I know that, I have feelings for you little lady”, his voice trembled as he spoke the last bit.

“Kidd are you serious?” you asked placing a hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch and nodded. His eyes looked desperate for your answer. Pulling him towards you, you connected your lips with his. The kiss was gentle and with so much of emotion.

Both pulled away to look into each other’s eyes. “I have feelings for you too Kidd”, you smiled and Kidd’s face lit up making you smile in return. He leaned and touched your forehead with yours and exhaled with relief. “Can I request you something Kidd?”, you asked and he nodded.

“Can you come to the castle this coming Wednesday?”

“To the castle? Why?”

“There is a ball going to be held and I want you to come”, you said and stepped back, away from his touch. “Now it’s my turn to wait for you, I should tell you something. So please come”, the last part sounded more like a pleading and with that you left the shop.

Kidd didn’t knew why you had to leave so early. His heart was beating so fast. Confused whether whatever happened now was real or not. He sat on his chair unable to remove your pleading face from earlier. Kidd looked at the bird which was unfinished and took the screw driver to continue working on it. Its been a while since he alone worked on something. It wasn’t a new feeling for him but still, he preferred to talk and have you around while he made it.

The day of the ball arrived. You wore your outfit and looked out the window at the crowd of people came to the castle. Men and women from so many places arrived there. With the help of Robin you made sure that when Kidd comes, he wouldn’t be stopped by any of the guards. The time was almost running out. The first dance was supposed to be started soon but you couldn’t find Kidd anywhere.

Your parents were urging you to find a partner and start the first dance. ‘So Kidd isn’t coming’, you thought and tilted your head up to prevent the tears falling out from your eyes. You pinched your skin trying to distract the pain away. Stepping on the ball room in your burgundy coloured dress, you walked with a straight face. Then suddenly your eyes fell on a person, who was trying to not be visible in the crowd but, his hair was definitely saying otherwise. You swiftly made your way towards that person.

People cleared way for you and it didn’t take long for you to meet the person with the red hair. He was wearing golden coloured suit and his hair was combed back neatly. He looked different but it was him. His cheeks turned the same colour of his hair. You chuckled and took his hand, pulling him towards the middle of the ball room. You placed your hands on his shoulder and pulled him closer to you. His hand trembled before he placed it on your waist. With that the music played and you both danced, with other people also dancing.

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“How could I? You are a princess and why didn’t you tell me you were a princess?”

“Would you even talk to me like you did if you knew I were a princess?”

“That’s… true but… now here I am, with the princess Y/N in my arms”, he said pulling you closer. You giggled and pushed back the strand of hair which was on his forehead. You both smiled at each other and continued dancing. After the first dance, he pulled you away from the ball room and you followed. He walked towards the garden where no one was and took out something from under the bench.

“What did you bring?”, you asked. He turned and showed it to you. Your eyes went wide looking at the bird that he brought.

“You made her at last!” you exclaimed as he looked down shyly. “Yeah kind of made it. I wanted to show it to you today”

“I love it so much”, you said as you took it in your hands. It was your memory. The time you spent making it with Kidd. It was precious to you two.

“Keep it. It’s yours now”, he said as he smiled.

“Really?! I will take care of it so well”, you replied and jumped on him making him catch you quickly. You looked at him and leaned in for kissing him again. Now, it was passionate. No one to intrude as you were alone. Smiling you pulled back and leaned your forehead with his.

You now found a grumpy man, who would understand you and would really be the reason for you to smile.

Made with picrew

XOXOXOXO

I hope you liked it. Thankyou for reading.

A comment, Like/Vote, Reblog/Share would be appreciated!!

Follow for more

[i-may-be-stupit]

Shigaraki x Silly!Reader

As usual, this is rather gender-neutral and the horny got me because I fukn love Shiggy 🥵😍 but yeah, enjoy!

You typed up a report of the latest incident between Endeavor and the league of Villains. Well, actually, you were just editing your boss's writing. She was a journalist and you were her assistant. You rolled your eyes, reading through it and fixing any grammar mistakes or typos you came across. Why the hell is she making Endeavor seem so god damn perfect? I mean, when you first met him, you told the guy a joke and he hasn't stopped glaring at you ever since. You rolled your eyes at just the thought of that fuck-faced jackass.

Not only were you the editor, but you were also the secretary in the news office building which is a whole different job as it is. You blew a bubble from your gum and turned your music in your earbuds up a bit more, since the day was going slow. Yeah, there'd be a scoop here and there but not a lot.

You looked up to see a guy with red eyes and a black hoodie grinning evily while saying stuff to you. You just stared at him until he finished talking. He looked at you and you looked at him. You spat your gum in a tissue then took out your earbuds. You smiled softly at the man. "I'm sorry, you said you wanted a visitors' pass?"

The man looked at you with a blank stare at first. "You didn't hear anything I just said?" You shook your head. He frowned and tilted his head in annoyance, "I was talking for like 3 minutes straight." You just blinked. "I just explained my whole reasoning for kidnapping you for information on Endeavor."

You smiled at him, "Im sorry sir, I'm just the secretary, but the information desk is on floor three, just take that elevator to the right and-"

"What the fuck, bitch?!" He opened his arms wide in anger, "Do you not recognize me from the news?!"

You put a finger on your chin and tapped it in thought for a moment, before clicking your tongue and snapping your finger, "Ah, you must be a pro hero or something!" His jaw dropped. "Wow, no wonder youre so handsome!" You took the bottle of lotion out of your desk's drawer and offered him some. "If you're going on an interview you could use some of this though!" He glared at you before snapping his fingers, and thats when you found out who he is.

The entire League of villains showed up and your eyes widened in fear. The man known as Shigaraki Tomura laughed harshly with a gleam in his eyes, "Recognize me yet, (Y/N) (L/N)?!"

You stared at him again in fear. You then snorted, "Hank the handy man?" And thats when he lunged at you, only for Shigaraki to fall into one of Kurogiri's portals. You laughed with tears in your eyes as the burnt up goth boy snickered. Kurogiri elbowed Dabi and Dabi wiped away a bloody tear in his own eye as he held your arms behind your back.

Dabi chuckled quietly in your ear a small, "You gotta teach me some insults if you live." And you snorted as you consentualy walked into a portal, not even mad at being kidnapped.

You were in what seemed to be a lounge area, seated on a chair with your arms handcuffed to the back of you. You looked around, innocently smiling, "Wowie, nice place you guys got here!" Spinner looked at Dabi confused as you started humming. "So, uh, whatcha need me for?"

Mange spoke up, "Wait, how are you so calm about this?"

You chuckled, "Hey, this chair is comfy, I'm off from work now, and I got to see a cute guy up-close and personal!"

Dabi looked at you with a straight face. "No thank you."

You rose an eyebrow at him, "Dont flatter yourself, Rat, I'm talking about the one that tried to kill me." Shigaraki walked into the room, slightly pissed off as Kurogiri rubbed his back. "There he is! The handsome one!"

Shigaraki glared at you. "Don't patronize me." You were about to speak, but he cut you off before even getting the chance, "You're working with Yuki Ino, the Journalist who's been interviewing pro heros, including Endeavor." You nodded, not understanding if that was supposed to be taken as a question or not. "Tell me everything about what's happened to All Might, why he retired, and how to end Endeavor, including the Pro-heros' plans to take down my organization."

You stared at him for a good minute before sneezing, "Sorry, what did you say? I disasociated."

Shigaraki twitched before scratching his neck violently. "What do you know about the number 1 pro hero?!"

"What?!" You looked at him in utter confusion. "I cant even remember what I had for breakfast, how the fuck do you expect me to remember anything about Enslaver?"

The red eyed male scratched his neck faster. "Endeavor."

You looked in even more confusion, "What the fuck is that?"

Shigaraki pulled you by your shirt closer to him in pure anger, "His hero name! Its Endeavor, not Enslaver!"

You blushed and fluttered your lashes, "Wow, the way your crimson gems glisten even in such dim lighting is so mesmerizing..." You puckered your lips and moved forward, but Shigaraki just let go of your shirt in utter disgust.

"I dont speak Wattpad."

You smiled at him happily, "I mean, I know that I should be scared because you're hella intimidating, but geez louis, your eyes are pretty! If you don't end up killing me can I be your boo thang?" You grinned and thats when he lunged at wwnnaqqa again, only for Kurogiri to put himself in front of you, again, so Shigaraki just fell into his portal, again.

Kurogiri just quietly mumbled out a small, "Lets take a break." Before going to the bar and throwing back a shot of some alcohol.

Later:

Shigaraki crossed his arms in front of the League with you in another room. "She was trying to seduce me like a slut to get out of death! Playing with my emotions?! Like I'm an ,idiot?! How dare she?!"

rtserrr

Dabi sat back, watching as Toga practiced her knife throwing on Twice. The burt man shrugged nonchalauntly, "She seemed legit to me."

Toga and Twice both nodded with a little, "Mhm," as Toga threw a knife at an apple on Twice's head.

Shigaraki just frowned. "Have you people seen me?" They all stopped what they were doing, looked at their boss and then put their hands up to their faces while cringing.

Kurogiri walked in, dragging you in a chair behind him. He placed you right in front of Shigaraki and you smiled awkwardly at him, "Sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable, Mister Shigaraki, I just can't help myself when I see a cute guy like you, though!" You giggled and shrugged as Twice awed at the nonexistent budding romance.

Shigaraki looked at you with disgust and concern. "You seriously think that I'm cute?"

You tilted your head cutely with a small smile"That's why I asked you out, what the hell?" You chuckled softly and Shigaraki blushed with a frown as he stared at you.

He scratched at his neck, took a shot of alcohol and sighed. "Just tell me everything you know about Endavor, okay?"

You frowned deeply with a small groan, "Ugh! He's kinda a asshole! I told him "Good morning, Teletubby Sun" and he just glarred really hard at me!" You frowned and pouted before mumbling out a small, "I mean, it was just a joke..."

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose in utter frustration while Dabi fucking died of laughter in the background, "Anything actually important?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Hey! That's totally important!"

A weak, hourse, "it is!" came from Dabi and you grinned.

"See, he gets it!"

He glared daggers into you and got closer to your face. "Do you not understand the danger you're in?" He snarled. "I can kill you right now if you dont submit."

You poked your lips out jokingly before giggling out, "I get it, but who's to say I don't wanna die?" You winked at him.

Shigaraki stared at you calmly, not leaving your goofy grin. "Everyone out of the room. Now." And everyone did as they were told and left, all praying for you.

Shigaraki silently cut your restraints and you started rubbing your wrists while smiling, "Thank you! You know, that was starting to hurt-"

He grabbed you by your hair and flung you onto the floor. The wind was knocked out of you and to make matters worse, he placed a foot on your chest, glarring down at you. "This isn't a game, you stupid fucking cunt." Shigaraki laughed darkly, seeing your jokester smile twist into a horrified grit as you struggled to breath. "I mean, are you dumb or something?! Your worthless life is on the line and you really couldn't care less?! "His hands covered his mouth, holding back another laugh, though you could hear it in his voice, "You're so fucking pathetic, I don't even feel like wasting my time killing you~!" He pushed his foot down harder.

You gasped for air, clawing at his foot to pry it off. "S-Shigaraki, sir-" A crack was echoed as he pushed his foot down harder on your now broken sternum. You scream out as tears fell from your face from the pain, "Please, p-please remove your f-foot..."

Shigaraki only laughed harder, cupping a hand over his cheek, ring finger raised, "Oh all of a sudden you care about your life, huh?" He straddled you, pinning you down with your wrists in one hand, and your neck in his other. "You think you can just flirt with me like the little slut you are and get off Scott free, huh?" You choked and Shigaraki drew closer to your ear, "Where's that attitude gone now, huh? Oh, can you not speak anymore? Tell me, please, how many dicks have you taken already. How the hell did you get a job," his face scrunched up in fury, "at a god damn Hero News agency without knowing shit about any heros, huh?! You probably slept with everyone there. Didnt you? Flirting with them to get what you want just like with me?"

Your face was hot and you were crying and choking at his words and actions, "N-No! That's not-" you gasped hard, unable to breath properly, "not me at all!"

Shigaraki loosened his grip on your neck. He glarred deep into your soul. "Then why the hell were you flirting with me back there? I'm not dumb, (Y/N), I'm a very fucking capable man!"

You smiled awkwardly, thankful that you could breath a little better. "I just think you're HANDsome!" Shigaraki's cheeks tinted pink as he glared at you. He let his grip go completely as you choked and coughed before looking up with a smile, "And this position... w-with you on top of me is really lewd, so can you maybe..." You trailed off as he just stared harder at you.

Shigaraki blinked, expressionless. "I'm pinning you down on the verge of killing you and the only think you can think of is getting fucked by me?" You looked away, struggling a bit with the feeling of awkwardness and arousal. He smirked, feeling your neck get hotter. "You really are a little fucking whore aren't you?" And with that, he softly kissed your lips.

Your face went hot as you looked up at him. "What was that for?" He kissed you again, this time longer. "S-shigaraki..." You pouted and looked away. "Theres something I should tell you..."

"Hm?" He tilted his head with a smirk, waiting for you to tell him that you're still a virgin.

"You shouldve taken my lotion earlier." You laughed out and he started choking you again. "Joking- J- Joking!" Shigaraki glarred down at you before tongue kissing you much more rough. You moaned as it thrashed against your tongue, saliva dripping out the side of your mouth. Shigaraki bit your lip softly before dragging his tongue down your chin and onto your neck. He licked and sucked on it as you bit your bottom lip. Tomura came back up and tongue kissed you for only a second before grabbing your shirt with all five fingers. You gasped and covered up your bra. "H-Hey! Gentlemen ask for permission first!" You frowned and he just grabbed you by your jaw.

He mocked you with a fake pouty voice, "Oh, that's my bad for not being a fucking gentleman. Can I pwease fuck you??" Tomura rolled his eyes, "Now shut the fuck up and let me suck on your nipples." Shigaraki's mouth immediately locked with your left nipple as his fingers played with your right. He laughed, hearing you softly mumble his name. His mouth left your chest with a small pop and he looked down at you with a smirk, "Dont be shy saying my name, (Y/N); I'm gonna need you to get used to screaming it anyways." And with that, he licked his lips then placed his tongue on your torso, dragging it all the way down to your work pants.

He decenigrated your pants and underwear happily. Shigaraki brought his face to your slit and took a hard lick, a finger shoving itself inside of your tight hole. You moaned loudly, confused. "Tomura, a warning next time!?" He just pumped his finger inside of you slowly as his tongue played with your privates. You moaned while holding his head down on you, your fingers twisted in his hair, as he sucked you off like a cherry. You panted heavily and he stuck another finger in you. Shigaraki then lifted his head off you.

"I'd warn you that time, but you're kind of suffocating me, so maybe, don't fucking push down so hard!" You frowned and just pushed his head back in between your thighs. He kissed and licked more, groaning whenever you'd thrust into his mouth deeper. Shigaraki chuckled at how you'd only get quiet when hes making you moan.

You shivered and groaned, coming closer and closer to your climax. Shigaraki noticed and immediately pulled off of you. He wipped his mouth with the back of his hand and grabbed you by the hair. "Alright, slut, you've had your fun." He pulled you towards him and you fell on the floor, right in front of his groin. Tomura sat, grinned down at you with one leg up, "You gonna just stare or are you sucking me off?"

You rolled your eyes before pulling his pants and boxers down. Oh wow, you were not expecting this... You put a hand over your mouth and blushed hard. He was only semi hard and already a good 8 inches, what the hell?? It was thin, but long, kind of like the rest of him.

Shigaraki frowned down at you, blushing hard, "What? Is something wrong with it?? I-I've never done this before, asshole, so stop making me feel bad!"

You felt a smile rise onto your lips. Is he... getting flustered? You chuckled and looked up at him, pumping slowly, "It's just intimidating." You licked the tip and gulped, feeling a bit nervous, "But, I'll try to take it all in, okay?"

You placed your lips on his tip and suck it as your hands jerked him off. He groaned, grabbing your head with 4 fingers. You gradually took more and more into your mouth, using your hands for whatever didn't fit. You bobbed your head up and down on him, speeding up. Shigaraki groaned your name.

"F-Fuck, Y/N, you really know what you're doing!" He pressed his hand on the back of your head harder, forcing more of him into you. You gagged and choked as Tomura just laughed, "God, you're taking it all in like a good little sex slave, aren't you?" You moaned at the name and shigaraki shuttered, "Mm, your moans feel so fucking good on my cock!" He breathed harder, "Fuck, Y/N, I need you to touch yourself while sucking me." You brought your hand to your slit and rubbed at it, moaning. Shigaraki groaned, "Fuck, Just like that!"

You gagged and moaned on his dick, feeling it twitch in your mouth. A lewd little 'pop' echoed in the room as you let off. Shigaraki frowned and you gave him a cheeky grin, "No sticky icky for you!" He groaned in annoyance.

"God, why are you like this?!?" He grabbed your arm and threw you roughly on the bed. Before you knew it, Shigaraki was already inside of you. Your face went hot as he fucked you doggy style.

You screamed, "A warning!!! We've been over this!!!" He responded with a slap on your ass.

Tomura rode your ass, grinding into you and groaning while doing it. "Fuck off, Y/N, you're a horny mess just like me, dumbass!" You screamed his name as his thrusts became faster and deeper. Shigaraki pulled both of your wrists back and down, making you kneel, your back pressed against his chest as he fucked into you. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight..." Shigaraki sloppily kissed your neck. You breathed harder as his dick hit the spot over and over. Shigaraki flipped you over onto your back. You laid underneath him as he paused. Tomura blushed harder and looked away, "I-I wanna really savor this..." he smirked, glaring in your eyes, "Plus I wanna know what you look like, full of my cum!"

You were flustered and giggling, "Its the ✨mood switch✨ for me-"

Tomura placed a hand over your mouth, "No. You just lost your speaking privileges."

Shigaraki grinded into you slowly. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and drool seeped from your lips. Shigaraki held your waist, pulling you whenever he's press himself deep inside of you. You were speechless from the pleasure. You moaned and whined as his body slowly moved with yours.

You pressed the back of your hand to your face, feeling a bit embarrassed at the change of atmosphere. It was so easy to just enjoy him fucking you silly and laughing and everything, but you couldn't bring yourself to feel any other emotion rather than pleasure muxed in with something new.

Shigaraki placed his forehead against yours and breathed harder, "I-I'm getting there, Y/N..." He let out a breathy moan and your legs shaked. Tomura kissed you softly as well. "A-Ah, you're almost there t-too, right?"

You nodded, feeling a knot in your stomach. You moaned and Shigaraki pulled out, cumming all over you. You moaned, climaxing too.

You were covered in cum and panting. You couldn't even find words to say. It just felt so good. Shigaraki cuddled up to you. He smiled and kissed your cheek. "I'm giving you your speaking privileges back now." You stayed silent, your face hot. It was hard for you to be serious, but God damn. Tomura looked at you a bit concerned, "You okay-"

"That was amazing."

He looked surprised before laughing hard. "Did I really leave you speechless?" You nodded, silently. Shigaraki kissed your lips, "That sucks because, even though you're annoying, I kinda like you."

Your eyes widened. He liked your jokes and stupid comments?! Your mouth became ajar. "I-I..." You just closed your mouth, staring at him.

Shigaraki placed his arm over you. He smiled, "Lets hang out tomorrow."

You smiled back.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ THE WEDDING ❜

with Che ‘Taza’ Romero and Marcus and Esai Alvarez.

Request: Taza or Maybe Riz ('cause we know you really love him !!) at his daughter's wedding!! Wedding with other biker or just some civil guys. Just fluff,love and father crying 🙈

BY ANON

Warnings: none

Word count: about 900

Aurora says: pretend that Esai Alvarez wasn't killed by Happy. this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: @thedevilsmoonshine

Masterlist.

The great day has come. You are going to get married to your best friend and you can’t believe it yet. The white long dress falling from your chest, with a lace sweetheart neckline, until covering your ankles with a silk skirt, it’s simply perfect. You couldn’t imagine a better piece of clothing, putting it together with a pair of high heels of the same color. Turning around in front of the mirror, you can’t help but smile when you see the door getting opened by the reflection. Your father comes in, closing it behind him. He doesn’t have any words to express how beautiful you are, walking towards you with a proud and soft smile drawn on his lips. Placing the long braid on your back, he tangles an artificial white rose in the middle of your hair, before surrounding your waist with both arms.

“Your mother wore it in our wedding”. He says then, trying not to break into crying, with a broken tone of voice.

“Dad…” You put at him, turning under his grip to caress his cheeks.

“You know… I always dreamed of that day, and Esai is gonna make you happy. He has always done, but I’m gonna miss you”.

“We live twenty minutes long, and we also work together in the scrap. Don’t be dramatic”. You chuckle feeling his lips on your forehead, so gently that you’re going to end up crying.

“But it’s not the same waking up every morning, to find you dancing and singing in the kitchen. Or come home and see you asleep on the sofa”.

“I have to grow up, dad. I can’t be like Peter Pan forever”.

“Yeah, I know…” Taza says clicking his tongue. “I love you with all my heart, baby. I feel so proud of who you became to, and I know your mother is too, always taking care of you from up there. You’re the best thing of my life, (Y/N), I want you to remember and to not forget it. And whenever you need me, I will be by your side”.

“I know, dad”. You say with a soft knot in your throat, showing him your most sincere and pure smile of all.

“Are you ready?”

You just nod, taking the arm he’s offering to you, before stepping out from your room and walking through the main hallway straight to the back yard. Everything is on point. Your friends and your family are already there, getting up from the perfectly decorated chairs, as soon as the soft melody starts to sound all around the ranch. You couldn’t imagine a way to get married better than this, and even if you weren’t convinced of celebrating it in your father’s house at first, now you can see how wrong you were. On the left side, you can find the tables already setted up waiting for the guests and the banquet, with a small stage in front of them to the music band. On the right one, there's a big bar that is full of all kinds of alcohol, waiting for the dinner to be done.

But the only thing that truly catches your attention, is the altar and the men standing up there. Your husband and his father. Marcus narrows his son's shoulders, while Esai tries to clean his tears, smiling with trembling lips and truly melting your heart. There's nothing else for you in the ranch, only your best friend looking at you with the same infinite love you feel for him. Taza helps you with the three rungs, loosening your grip to hug your future husband. Both men in tears, making you roll your eyes exaggeratedly and chuckling.

“Love her all your life like I do”.

“I will, I promise”.

“Hey, you”. You mutter smirking at him, when Esai finally holds your hands between some cheerings from the guests.

“Hey, you”. He chuckles, kissing the back of your fingers in a gentle gesture.

Two simple words that gave your history a beginning. You can remember it as if it happened yesterday. You were seven years old when you came to Oakland for a courtesy visit with your father, because Marcus called your father to join the Mayans. Sitting at Padrino's porch, holding a stuffed brown horse, he appeared from the inside. ‘Hey, you’. He just said, before offering you a hand to narrow it like a greeting. Almost seventeen years later, you're about to get married, hearing your parents crying like children.

“Tell me again why we invited them?” You say with a low tone of voice, trying to not laugh.

“Your father knows some apache curses that we don't want to discover”.

“And yours?”

“He runs calexico, remember?”

“Oh… yes, yes”.

You two turn at them, watching their families finally getting related. The older son and the only daughter. But they are happy. Happy for you, for what you are going to continue creating together. For knowing that you are going to be okay.

“We should get married in Vegas as I told you”. Esai mumbles raising both eyebrows. “You know I'm always right…”

“Oh, yes… of course”. Teasing him, you pinch his chin, waiting for Bishop to officiate the wedding.

“I love you, more than I can explain”.

“You have a life to try it, mi rey”.

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[beautifultrash-101]

Knowledge which kills

Part 2

Pairing: Lena Luthor x Fem!reader

Summary: Reader discovered that Lena hasn’t forgiven Kara. So she drives to Lena’s mansion to try and solve the situation

Warnings: none - Words: 1127

Y/n P.o.V:

It all makes sense. From how she acted before and after the event. The way she was even more distant than usual and when she was there she wasn't as genuin as usual. I thought that she may have actually forgiven Kara or have forgiven us for lying to her, but when I saw her leave to apartment today I knew I was wrong. It took me a while, but thinking back now to what happened, how she has told me about past betrayals I knew one thing;

Lena hasn't forgiven Kara.

I quickly call up Alex, when she answers I waste no time "Alex? Do you know where Lena is?" "Uh Kara and her went to the fortress, why?" "Okay Alex I need you to check up on Kara, meanwhile I'll look for Lena" I didn't even give her a second to reply when I hang up and leave the apartment.

I decide to drive to Lenas mansion. Walking to the front door I try my spare key, letting out a relived sigh when I hear the clicking of the lock. Pushing open the door I look around the room. Focusing I can actually hear talking from another room. Following the voice I've come to love over the months, my heart can't help but pound, yet I'm unsure if it's because I'm scared or happy to know Lena's okay. Arriving at the small lounge she has upstairs I knock on the door. When the talking stops I decide to enter. When I do, Lena makes sure to look right at me.

I clear my throat "Lena" she doesn't respond, just walks to her small bar pouring a drink "you knew didn't you?" I look to Lena confused "knew what?" She slams the glass on the counter making it crack "about Kara, about Supergirl" I frown taking a deep breath "I do know about the secret" Lena just slowly nods her head "why should I have expected anything else, god the woman I loved, I trusted" when I hear her say "loved" my heart stops there, in this moment, and I can feel actual physical pain. Tears fill my eyes, and my throat dries up "Lee... you can still trust me" she lets out a laugh filled with venom "trust you!? You lied to me like anyone else, how am I going to know if you actually love me? Or were you just a way to keep an eye on me? Make sure the villainous Luthor doesn't do anything deviant, while Supergirl can't keep her under control" "Lena any moment spent with you was, because I love you, I've never told you lies" I move a bit closer to her "and you are not a villain, you feel anger, which is okay, you're allowed to feel angry with Kara, she betrayed your trust, but you know for a fact I had no right in telling you about the secret" she takes a deep breath "I want you to leave" "Lena" "leave my house!" she yells out tears threatening to spill, I stumble a few steps back, terror lacing my eyes. She seems to notice, but keeps her posture straight. Opening the door of her living room I look back at her "don't let someones mistake ruin the life you built for yourself Lena, you're stronger than that" I leave closing the door behind me, not wanting Lena to see me completely break down.

****

Back in my apartment I pour a glas of whiskey sitting down on the couch taking a big sip of my drink. My phone goes off, but I just let it ring. Whether it's Alex with news on Kara or someone else, right now I can't bare to speak.

I switch from the glas to drinking from the bottle noticing how my vision is blurring, slowly I let the alcohol take over me and just lie down.

Waking up to frantic knocking on my door I stumble to open it. To my surprise it's Kara. Her eyes land on me and a wash of relive comes over them before worry is noticeable when she spots the almost empty bottle of whiskey behind me, plus my state which I'm guessing isn't the best. Where as her's is not not better. I can see light bruise marks on her face and her eyes are swollen. She steps inside closing the door behind her "Y/n you look awful" letting out a bitter laugh I respond "thanks, you don't look so good yourself" she slides her fingers under her eyes trying to hide the fact that she had been crying too.

I sit down not having the strength to stand anymore. Kara plays with her fingers which I've noticed she does when nervous "so you've talked to Lena?" "there wasn't much talking on my part, I tried to explain my side to her, but she wouldn't listen" I look up to meet Karas guilty eyes "if I had known it would lead to all this, I would have never told you, or I would have told Lena earlier" I go threw my hair not knowing what to say. A silence fills the room with only our shaky breaths evident. I falter "what am I going to do without her?" Kara looks at me for a moment, probably trying to find a answer to my impossible riddle "she'll come back to you, she feels betrayed, I'll make this right Y/n I promise" the last thing I want to do is make Kara feel guilty, but with the alcohol flowing in me and my senses messed I recall "remember when I found out about you being Supergirl, and you told me that this information could be a treat to me if anyone found out I knew about you-" taking a moment to think, maybe even waiting for Kara to interrupt I continue "-I wish this knowledge would have killed me in a way, as there is nothing that has ever pained me more like hearing the love of my life saying that she had loved me until I betrayed her trust" Kara is trying to hold back tears "I am so sorry" I shake my head "its not your fault, I know in a way you were protecting her, she's just so fragile. I hate that she's alone right now" Kara walks over to me laying a supporting hand on my shoulder. I lay mine on top of hers just needing to feel contact right now "you should go get some rest" I sighed, feeling Karas hand squeeze my shoulder after it pulls away the sound of her footsteps getting quieter and quieter till I hear the front door close.

I'm alone.

[rcmclachlan]

#wait. hold on a second. just gimme a minute here #do you ever stop and think that this moment — more than anything — was the point of no return? #not the core transfer. not getting thrown in the burial mounds. not wwx turning to demonic cultivation #like sure wwx's standing in the cultivation world is extremely tenuous after the war. he's got immense power that no one else understands #he's feared and resented #and we know the jin are angling to take over #but the jin are just one sect. if the other sects had stood up to them? so much pain and misery could have been avoided #and lan xichen more than the other sect leaders is considered an authority on righteousness. it's what his sect is known for #this was the jin's final test. can we get zewu jun to bend to our whims? will he stand up to us? #and he doesn't. he's pressured to go against the precepts of his sect AND HE GIVES IN. AND NIE MINGJUE WATCHES #it's a slippery fucking slide man. 'don't consume alcohol' doesn't seem as much of a big deal as 'do not kill' but this was a jin power move #and i love how this sets up the dichotomy between the twin jades #both lan brothers were offered alcohol #now wwx interrupts and drinks for lwj before the stand-off really erupts but like #did hanguang jun really look like a man who was going to give in in this scene #absolutely fucking not #the saddest fucking part of lwj's arc is that he has to learn to separate what's wrong because it's the rules and what's wrong in his heart #in this instance drinking is both against the rules and his own moral code — no matter what authority tells him otherwise #but he hasn't quite understood that yet by qiongqi pass #i mean. i feel for him! his sect obviously didn't bother asking students to ponder what happens when one rule conflicts with another #but i do just wanna yell at him in the rain scene when he's like ' #this is a rebellion against orthodoxy #YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS A REBELLION AGAINST ORTHODOXY. YOU REFUSING TO DRINK. WHAT'S NOT CLICKING #i mean. that's why this show makes me so fucking insane. that's the point of a good tragedy! #there are so many little moments where if a character had made a different choice we wouldn't end up where we do #but they have to make the choice they do because it's who their character is at that moment #and this lwj isn't ready to rebel against the big problems in the world yet (@dreamrena)

episode 26