#with a tiny megatron and soundwave cameo

[h3lgertime]

Astrotrain au design

[soundwavereporting]

Sky Spies and Splitting Up Batchmates

IDW, pre-war (to be specific very slightly pre-Megatron: Origin); Cosmos, OCs, Sentinel Prime, Prowl, the tiniest of tiny cameos for Soundwave and Ratbat. Warnings for canon-typical racism/homophobia. 

This is based on a whole heap of headcanons, plus one or two panels from MTMTE. 

Iacon felt…small.

Maybe it was the way the crowds parted to make way for them, or maybe it was the way that they had to walk in single file or risk one of them accidentally stepping into the street.  

Cosmos missed Staniz. Staniz was made for mechs like them.

He supposed it was better than being separated from his batchmates during their constant, multi-year surveying missions studying the infinitesimal ebb and flow of energon. Their contract with Senator Shockwave wasn’t scheduled to expire for another three cycles, but today the Prime of all people wanted to speak to them about something equal parts vitally important and incredibly vague.

::He’s probably gonna send us to the Institute.::

As usual, Starburst’s mood was equal parts pessimistic and anxious.

“The Prime has better things to do than send three Lunabots to the Institute.” Cosmos spoke aloud, though he hoped it was quiet enough to not be overheard. Abruptly feeling self-conscious, he adjusted the temporary badge the Senatorial messenger had affixed to his armor, declaring him cleared to wander around inner Iacon for the day.

::Then he’s gonna reformat us! Turn us into his new sky-spies, or dump fissal radiation into our spark chamber in the hopes of creating outliers!::

Cosmos glared at his batchmate. As usual, Starburst was paying more attention to whatever conspiracy theories he’d pulled up on his HUD than anything else—more than once, Cosmos and Paradox had had to pull the mech out of incoming traffic.

“Shut up, ‘burst.” Paradox had been quiet until now, silently soaking up the sights of inner Iacon, but now the Grand Imperium loomed before them. It was no secret that the average Lunabot stood (literally) head and shoulders above most mechs, leaving the average, non-form friendly building more or less inaccessible to them, but the Senate’s Iacon headquarters were…something else.

They stepped inside.

A mech with the most spectacular, articulated rotors Cosmos had ever seen was arguing with the receptionist. He felt Paradox stiffen beside him, taking in the sight of said rotors as they shifted and swayed in time to his animated, angry gestures in the receptionist’s direction.

Not for the first time, Cosmos lamented knowing so much about the things that revved his batchmates’ engines.

The mech who had been standing beside rotor-mech whipped around, staring at Paradox as though he had broadcasted his taste for fully articulated rotors and flight frames on a loudspeaker.

Paradox, at least, had the sense to look a little embarrassed.

Starburst had frozen in the doorway, effectively blocking anyone larger than a memory stick from entering. Cosmos grabbed Starburst and yanked him forward. Starburst stumbled, tripping over his own feet and nearly falling head-first into rotor-mech’s stupid, articulated rotors.

Abruptly, Rotor-mech turned to face them. With a sinking feeling of utter dread that was definitely proportional to the situation, Cosmos took in the Senatorial crest emblazoned on rotor-mech’s chassis.

Apparently having noticed the same thing, Paradox squeaked.

Cosmos wondered if it would be bad form to just transform and break through the ceiling en route to outer space, never to be seen on Cybertron again. Maybe they could go find Luna-1! Surely such a feat would be enough to erase the—

“You’re here!”

The receptionist, whose public ID tag labeled him as Drawback, jumped to his feet and gently maneuvered past rotor-Senator-mech and grasped Paradox’s arm in a clear, albeit relieved greeting.

“As I was saying, Senator, our most wise Prime has a meeting with these three wonderful—and prompt!—Lunabots in just a few moments. As I said, I am more than happy to put you down for a meeting slot sometime…late next week?”

Drawback tugged insistently on Paradox’s arm, practically dragging the Lunabot towards the lift. Unsure whether they were meant to follow, but unwilling to remain, Cosmos and Starburst followed suit.

Rotor-Senator gawked. Even from this distance, Cosmos could feel the anger bubbling in the mech’s field.

“Thank you,” Drawback muttered, once he had herded them out of audio-receptor range, towards an elevator that would accommodate them—one of them at a time, at least. Paradox and Starburst clamored to be the first ones in, and Cosmos lamented the fact that he was going to be stuck in the lobby for even a minute longer than the others. “Sometimes I swear Sentinel sets up these appointments just to get out of meetings he doesn’t want to attend. And Ratbat knows me from Kaon, so he thinks I’ll just rearrange the Prime’s schedule! Just for him!”  

Cosmos had no real answer to that. He watched Paradox make his escape via elevator, peeking around the closing doors once more in hopes of getting another look at rotor-Senator. Starburst fidgeted in place and Cosmos could practically see the forums his batchmate had pulled up on his HUD.

“So, uh,” Cosmos said, hoping to break the awkward silence. “Worked here long?”

Drawback shook his head. “I’m usually posted in Kaon, at the um, local Senate building over there. Just here till the replacement passes all the background checks, then I’ll get to go home.” He lowered his voice. “It’s awful here.”

Starburst nodded enthusiastically, and apparently chose that moment to break his self-imposed silence.

“What’s this about?” Starburst asked. “I know that Lunabots consume more energon than the average mech but we wouldn’t be able to enter planetary orbit without all that fuel and! And Senator Shockwave himself declared us free to receive all the fuel we need, at least until our contract with him is up, and I—I really don’t want to get reformatted. Or brainwashed. I really don’t.”

Cosmos had to resist the urge to hide his face in his hands, but Drawback nodded. Considering the commotion rotor-Senator had been making out there, Starburst’s rant probably wasn’t the most outlandish outburst he’d ever been subjected to.

“Well, I know for a fact you’re not here to be brainwashed!” Drawback’s smile was as sincere as it was strained.

The elevator door slid open and Starburst practically jumped inside, leaving Cosmos alone with Drawback.

“You’re a Lunabot, right?” Drawback asked. “You like it?”

“Y-yes,” Cosmos said, mostly because he wasn’t sure if it was a trick question designed to weed out anyone who might be even the slightest bit anti-Functionist. For all he knew, the Senate was staffed with telepaths around every corner, taking notes on which visitors needed to be sent to—

Primus, now he was starting to think like Starburst.

“I definitely don’t get to see Iacon too often.”

Drawback nodded. “Well, if you get the chance—it’s not everyone’s taste, but there’s a pretty good Tarnian place in one of the lower districts. It’s size-friendly, too—lots of mechs visiting from Kaon and Tarn drop in, so you know it’s authentic.” Drawback coughed, awkwardly. “I, uh, run a regional cuisine blog in my free time.”

The elevator door chose that moment to open, sparing Cosmos from any more awkward small talk. Cosmos stepped in and Drawback waved goodbye, cringing as the rotor-Senator came into view, striding towards the hapless receptionist.

Sentinel Prime’s offices were on the top floor. Cosmos took a moment to wonder at the inefficiency of it all—Drawback certainly wasn’t flight-frame, and he doubted rotor-Senator transformed unless it was to show off. Did they all really use these elevators to navigate the building?

Maybe Sentinel wanted to hire them as shuttles.

Cosmos shuddered at the thought. He didn’t know how shuttlemechs could stand the feeling of someone moving around inside him, much less directing him.

The doors slid open, and Cosmos was relieved to see Paradox and Starburst waiting for him. Triplechangers stood guard at the many doors of the very intimidating hallway that stretched out before them, each nearly as tall as the average Lunabot. Cosmos wondered if they were allowed to skip the elevators and just fly up to whatever floor they needed to get to.

 Out of politeness, Cosmos nodded a greeting to the nearest guardsmech and got no response. Starburst had shifted back to internal comms and was sending them both a massive data-dump from the conspiracy forums.

As he usually did, Cosmos fell into step just behind Paradox, letting his batchmate take the lead. It wasn’t something that they had ever talked about, but where Paradox led, he and Starburst were usually content to follow. Paradox’s quick thinking had gotten them out of trouble more than once, and his cool demeanor had netted them the contract to work with Senator Shockwave. Cosmos would just have to make sure neither he or Starburst said anything that warranted getting their sparks extracted, and they would be good.

His audio receptors picked up the faintest sounds of an ongoing argument at the end of the hall. None of the triplechangers seemed particularly bothered by the noise.

“Nice place,” Cosmos muttered to himself. Paradox elbowed him. “What? It’s true!” The carpet under their pedes probably cost more than the three of them would make in a hundred cycles.

The door at the far end of the hall was more than tall—and wide—enough to accommodate the three of them. They stepped inside and Starburst raised a hand, awkwardly waving at the receptionist in the far corner, who didn’t look nearly as welcoming as Drawback had.

“Lunabots.” This receptionist didn’t have a public ID tag. “Right. Sentinel’s been waiting for you.”

Cosmos glanced at his chrono—they were nearly five minutes early, and the implication that they were running late irked him. Judging by the way his armor puffed up, Paradox clearly felt the same.

The receptionist gave Paradox a flat, unimpressed stare. Paradox met the stare with a patient half-glare Cosmos hoped he’d be able to emulate one day.

“Through the far door, and please—try to make it quick. Meetings with astro class mechs—much less Lunabots—aren’t exactly what the Matrix intended when it chose Sentinel Prime as its vessel.

Giving up any semblance of professional distance, Paradox grabbed Cosmos’ arm with one hand and Starburst’s with the other before either of them could start a fight or demand to know what the mech knew about the Matrix.

Without looking at them again, the receptionist waved them through. The door opened, and Cosmos came face to face with Sentinel Prime, who’d been in the process of storming out of his own office.

“Lunabots!” Sentinel composed himself quickly, spreading his hands out in that way Cosmos had noticed a lot of mechs tended to do when they were trying to show that they had nothing to hide.

Cosmos didn’t trust him, but earning the trust of a Lunabot wasn’t exactly a perquisite for the Primacy, was it?

“There are…three of you. Did we know three of them were coming?” The question was directed at the mech Sentinel Prime had been arguing with—an Enforcer-turned-aide, who’d done a worse job of pretending he hadn’t just been yelling at a Prime than he probably thought.

“Lunabots are created in triads.” The Enforcer-turned-aide was looking at a datapad. “Starburst, Paradox, and Cosmo. Here at Senator Shockwave’s personal recommendation.”

“Cosmos,” Cosmos said automatically.

Paradox groaned.

“Ah.” An unpleasantly familiar expression crossed Sentinel’s faceplates. “Well, we only need one of you for now. So.”

Paradox stiffened. “Sir—um, your highness, sir—“

Sentinel waved a hand. “Just Sentinel.”

“Sentinel, sir—Lunabots—“

“Lunabots are sparked in triads,” Sentinel rolled his optics theatrically and turned back to face his aide. “I heard you the first time. It’s not like they’re sparkmates, are they?”

Sentinel glared at Paradox.  

“No sir.”

“Good.” Sentinel turned back to Paradox. “Now. Like I said—well, I didn’t say: to make it short, we’re running short on mechs capable of orbital surveillance, and the Senate has authorized one—one—Lunabot to undergo a deep reformat and a class change to add to our ranks. Whichever one of you is chosen to be reformatted—“

“Reformatted?”

Despairingly, Cosmos realized neither he nor Paradox had moved to shut up their batchmate.  Sentinel didn’t need to ask their permission, did he? This was just a formality—or maybe they were here to get evaluated, in which case…

Primus, they were going to choose Paradox.

Oblivious to Cosmos’ internal crisis, Sentinel was trying—and failing—to allay Starburst’s fear.

“Into a smaller, more compact, more fuel efficient body. You’ll get twice whatever Shockwave’s been paying you and so many upgrades you won’t even have time to think about your…friends. Brothers? And you’ll be doing your duty as a Cybertronian citizen, helping your Prime rid the planet of enemies of the state.”

“Sir, Decepticons are dissenters, not—“

“I don’t want to get reformatted,” Starburst snapped. Sentinel looked up, surprised. “None of us do. We’re Lunabots and we like being Lunabots.”

Cosmos seized the chance to nod. Vigorously.

Sentinel frowned.

“Please wait outside.”

He was half-expecting the triplechangers to accost them the instant the door closed, but the mechs remained where they stood, impassible and unmovable. The receptionist looked up and rolled his optics, then ignored them completely.

“They’re gonna split us up,” Starburst said, breathless. “The Prime and his little assistant—oh Primus they’re gonna turn us into minibots and make us hack transmissions and—“

“Shut up.” Paradox demanded, then turned to Cosmos. “What’s your take on this?”

“I—um. Yeah.” Cosmos looked away. “I think they’re gonna choose you.”

“Not what I was looking for.” Paradox narrowed his optics. “Maybe we can persuade Sentinel to take all three of us—barring that, maybe we can redirect him to another cohort of Lunabots.”

“I’ve never liked Quasar and his batchmates. They should pick one of them to be sky-spies.”

“Quasar is an idiot. Sentinel won’t go for it.”

“I’ll do it,” Cosmos said, before he realized the words had formed in his processor, much less left his voicebox. “Um. I mean—“

“No!” Starburst grossed his arms. “I mean, better you than me, but no.”

“If—if—Sentinel’s set on recruiting a Lunabot and can’t be persuaded otherwise,” Cosmos said, trying and failing to figure out where he could backtrack and retract his words. “I’ll do it.”

“But you hate surveillance,” Starburst said. “You—oh! You’re hoping that being a spy will be less boring than monitoring Cybertron’s energon levels?”

“I hadn’t considered that,” Cosmos admitted. “I’m still hoping Sentinel will let all of us get reformatted.”

Before Starburst could reiterate that he really didn’t want to get turned into a spy, the door to Sentinel’s office opened once again.

Feeling like he was walking to his own execution, Cosmos followed his batchmates. They trooped back into the Prime’s office in a single file, awkwardly standing as Sentinel looked them up and down.

“As I was saying,” Sentinel said. “For the time being, we still only need one of you. But Prowl here—“ Sentinel gestured at the Enforcer. “Has persuaded me to promise you that once the Decepticon threat has been eradicated from the planet, you will have the option to get your old frame back and return to your…’batch’. No hard feelings. And if, by chance, I am not in a position to approve the change, Prowl has been authorized to act in my place. Is that acceptable?”

Belatedly, Cosmos realized that Paradox and Starburst had taken a measured step back. He had volunteered, hadn’t he.

Primus, he was an idiot.

Before Cosmos could retract his offer, Sentinel held out his hand. Dumbly, Cosmos shook it.

“Welcome to Kaon Security Services, Lunabot,” Sentinel said. “We’re glad to have you here.”

[afterspark-podcast]

My Little Pony/Transformers: Friendship in Disguise, Part 2 Transcript

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: [laughing]

S: Like, I told you about this before.  You- you know my reasoning, you know where it comes from.

[Intro Music]

O: Welcome back to our April Fools’ Special!

S: For the My Little Pony/Transformers crossover.

O: Today we will go through issues 3 and 4, which will finish this little series and now on to part 1 of issue 3- Fluttershy makes friends, or [clears throat] um, ‘Pet Sounds’.

S: Fluttershy and Discord are in Fluttershy's house having a tea party, when they hear a very loud noise outside.

O: Discord, for reference, is a reformed villain in the series.  He's basically just Q from Star Trek if Q were an amalgam of a bunch of different critters all smooshed together.  (Including being played by the same actor.)  Ah, but he's good friends with Fluttershy at tha- this point in the series, presumably.

S: Outside in a crater, Soundwave emerges concluding that this world is ‘illogical’.

O: Fluttershy asks Discord if he's trying to play a trick on her, but he says even he can't think of something this bizarre.

S: Soundwave scares several of Fluttershy's animal friends, who flee into her house for safety.

O: Fluttershy attempts to calm them by saying, “No one's all bad!”  Before she catches sight of Ravage, Ratbat, Rumble, and Laserbeak.

S: Her first instinct is, “I can bond with this person!  He has PETS!!!”

O: Pretty much.  Fluttershy gathers up a few of her animal friends and flies directly over to Soundwave to introduce herself.

S: Said animal friends do not appear to be happy about this turn of events.

O: I don’t blame them!

S: Soundwave does not detect a threat from Fluttershy, but correctly detects a threat from Discord.

O: Meaning Soundwave can scan for chaos magic.

S: Well, considering Starscream, I'm pretty sure he can just scan for chaos in general.

O: [laughs] That's not a bad way of looking at it!  Soundwave begins attacking Discord, while the cassettes make a beeline for Fluttershy

S: Rumble, being the only one who can presumably speak in this group, starts badgering Fluttershy for information about this world's defenses.

O: And also, “Why does everything smell like lavender!?”

S: The Decepticons… I guess, know what lavender smells like.

O: I think the question is, do the Decepticons like what lavender smells like?

S: Very good question.  Discord proceeds to make a nu- a nuisance of himself to Soundwave, transforming into a metallic version of himself.  With puns even!

O: [snorts] Fluttershy, being Fluttershy, spots a scratch on Ravage's nose.

S: Or a booboo, as she calls it.

O: And pulls out some ‘booboo cream’ to tend the wound.

S: Ravage looks rather disarmed by all of this attention.

O: The rest of the animal cassettes all gather around Fluttershy, while Rumble is in the background getting more annoyed as he protests that it's not a ‘booboo’ it's ‘battle damage’.

S: Rumble backhands the cream out of Fluttershy's... hand?  Hoof?

O: Hoof, probably. [laughs]

S: To the shock and chagrin of the rest of the cassettes, Discord, and all of the animals in the vicinity.

O: Fluttershy gets upset because she was, “Trying to be nice!”

S: The other three cassettes turn on Rumble, as Discord transforms Fluttershy's animal friends into little robot versions of themselves.  Surprisingly menacing ones!  And they all attack Soundwave.  Soundwave gets to learn what being attacked by a dozen rabid little bunnies feels like.

O: Rumble attempts to dissuade his fellow cassettes from murder, invoking the ‘f word’.  The ‘f word’ being ‘friendship’ here.

S: Fluttershy immediately changes her tune and asks if friendship is what they really care about.

O: Soundwave responds with, “Unquestionably: Friendship superior.”

S: While being covered in a bunch of tiny, rabid, metal animals.

O: Yes.  The fighting stops, as Fluttershy says they can start over and be friends.

S: Discord points out that he could just turn them all into little pretty ponies, but doesn't.

O: The animal friends are returned to normal, and Rumble apologizes to Fluttershy.

S: Megatron coms Soundwave at this point, and tells him to meet up with the rest of the Decepticons.

O: Soundwave responds in the affirmative, but with the caveat of, “Eventually.”

S: And the final panel has Soundwave sitting down and looking on at- as his cassettes and Fluttershy frolic.

O: It is a stupidly cute panel.

S: Mm-hmm, Rumble has a bunch of bunnies in his arms.

O: Ravage is playing with a birb.

S: Laserbeak and Ratbat are both giving tiny animals rides.

O: And Discord is giving Soundwave a thumbs up.

S: It's happy communication all around.

O: Right!? Like, this is what Soundwave deserves, okay!? This is my humble opinion- Soundwave should just stay here and be happy.  I actually would pay good money for a crossover- like, a crossover fic of them.  Just Soundwave helping with like, Fluttershy's animal hospital thing.  That sounds so cute! [laughs]

S: It would be a relaxing vacation for him.

O: He deserves a relaxing vacation.  My boy deserves a relaxing vacation!  Also, just going to pause- if you guys hear creaking, I am super sorry.  But we- my neighbor is moving around a lot for some reason, and there's a lot of cranking going on here.  So, sorry you can hear that.

S: Issue 3 part 2, “The Flying Fox Trot,” begins with Rainbow Dash reclining on a cloud and chomping on an apple, content with life.

O: At least until Windblade zooms by, dissipating Rainbow's perch.

S: The two introduce themselves to each other and rainbow proclaims herself as, “The fastest in Equestria!”

O: To which, Windblade, seasoned warrior, plane with literal jet engines, asks, “Until I showed up?”  Of course, the only way to settle this is with a race, apparently.

S: Considering Rainbow Dash's personality, yeah.

O: Yeah.

S: At the starting line we get cameos from some horse-based Transformers, Mach Kick and Battle Unicorn.

O: Which, honestly, since one’s a horse and one's a unicorn, I'm just amused that these exist at all- in a toy line for boys.  And also, I kind of want them on principle.

S: They're-

O: They look amazing. [laughs]

S: With very convoluted transformations.

O: Apparently.  Because apparently, you can't, you- you- you- can take the horse out of the organic but you cannot take the horse out of a horse.

S: [laughs]

O: I know that wasn’t right.

S: You can take the organic out of the horse, but not the horse out of the robot.

O: Yes.  So it's, uh, anatomy is just about as bad as a real horse is what I'm getting at here. [laughs]  Windblade and Rainbow Dash take off and are neck and neck, figuratively speaking, since Windblade doesn't have a neck right now, but whatever.  Until they run into a gaggle of Decepticons.

S: Misfire and the Rainmakers not- well, to be specific.  And honestly that just sounds like a band name?

O: Jem and the Holograms’ new rival! [laughs] I like- great- okay, okay, I know- I know- I know that we were talking about this in our warm-up, not in the actual episode but if you want to get into weird things you can that like, fit into the Transformers-verse, arguably Jem and the Holograms takes place in the fit into the same continuity.  And in fact, there was a G.I. Joe character whose entire backstory is that he was a roadie for Jem and the Holograms, and G.I. Joe definitely takes place in the same universe as Transformers.

[Okay, so like, I’m not wrong per say, but arguably Transformers, Inhumanoids, G.I. Joe, and Jem and the Holograms all take place in the same universe due to the presence of Hector Ramirez in all four series. ~O]

S: And considering the comics, which definitely have had multiple G.I. Joe crossovers.

O: Yeah, but not Jem and the Holograms.  Like, I think the last IDW Jem and the Holograms was kind of weird because it didn't- it didn't tie in with the rest of like, the Hasbroverse.

S: Mm.

O: Anyway, I'm sorry, tangent!  It just cracks me up that's all.

S: [laughs] The Rainmakers popped up in a season one episode, in G1, when the Autobots had to visit Cybertron.

O: Misfire doesn't show up in G1 till like, very late season four, and by late I mean, season four only has like, what?  Three episodes?

S: Mm.

O: But, you know what I mean!  And he's more widely known from his IDW appearance with the Scavengers, who are ‘sirs not appearing in this comic’.

S: And also for his incredibly bad name-

B: [laugh]

S: And also for his imp- incredibly bad aim, for which, poor Misfire gets his name.

O: Rainbow Dash suggests doing the ‘Flying Foxtrot.’

S: Which Windblade, understandably, is not familiar with.

O: And I'm half convinced that Rainbow Dash made it up, but whatever!  This entire thing seems to be baiting the Cons into shooting heat seeking missiles at the two of them, and then nyrooming behind them so that the missiles hit the Cons instead.

S: The comic ends with Rainbow Dash and Windblade agreeing to a tie and sitting atop a pile of Rainmakers and Misfire.  Who all look like they are regretting their life choices.

O: They were defeated by a pony, [speaks while laughing] I would hope they were regretting their life choices! [returns to speaking normally] Issue 4, part 1, is, “Strength in Numbers,” featuring Applejack and the Insecticons.

S: It opens with Applejack being very upset that there are some giant ass bugs in her orchard, eating everything.  And, I mean, she unfortunately has a super big pest problem here.

O: Which is a bad thing when her entire income is dependent upon farming.

S: Yep.  The Insecticon horde is very happy, and surprisingly cute as they munch on delicious apples and trees.

O: Applejack attempts to chase them off in multiple ways… none of which work.

S: Spraying them with the hose, hitting them with rakes, spraying them with the hose again, and then trying to push them off the apple trees.

O: Back inside her house, she brainstorms more things to try when Discord appears out of nowhere and she too is like, “Are you playin’ a prank, Discord!?”

S: Well, if i lived in ponyverse or-

O: Equestria.

S: Equestria, I think that might have been my first thought too.

O: I mean, fair.  Giant insects are eating her apples.  Like, who else could do that but Discord on a normal day? [laughs]

S: Mm-hmm.  However, Discord says that this stuff is too mundane to be one of his pranks.

O: Applejack asks for his help.  He declines, as he'd much prefer to watch this madness, but he does summon all of the Apple Family to aid Applejack.

S: The Apple Clan is here!

O: No, really, like, ALL of them are here.  And I am not listing them off, because it's pretty much every single Apple character that appeared in the show at some point.

S: So all of the Apple Clan charge in, and I'm kind of wondering now if he like, showed up and briefed them all- just-

O: [laughs] I think they all saw through the portal, and saw bugs eating apples and were like, “My people are calling me!” [laughs]

S: My- my home needs me!

O: My home needs me, exactly.

S: Babs Seed, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom take out an insecticon by themselves by kicking it,

O: Which are Applejack's cousin, older brother, and little sister, respectively.

S: Several other Apples take out other Insecticons with ropes.

O: And an elderly Apple accidentally kicks one of Bombshell's Cerebral Shells back onto him and then orders him to go away while she's sort of flailing.

S: Accidental mind control, here we are!

O: And the day is saved thanks to the Apples, and we move on to the final chapter of the crossover fittingly called, “Finale.”

S: We open in the Crystal Empire with one of the other princesses of Equestria, Princess Cadence, as several of Twilight’s students report back to her that the Decepticons are nowhere to be found, but are likely planning an attack according to the Autobots.

O: Speaking of attack!

S: [sighs] The wall is smashed in as Megatron, Queen Chrysalis, and their allies arrive and demand that they hand over all the magical artifacts.

O: Twilight Sparkle and Optimus arrive just in time.

S: Optimus attempts to get Megatron to leave with politeness.

O: Surprising no one who's dealt with Megatron for more than 10 seconds, he declines. [laughs]

S: And with a combined call of, “Transform and trot out!” and, “Till everypony are one!”  …Oh, so grammatically incorrect.

O: [laughs]

S: The Autobots and their allies go on the offensive.

O: And I get secondhand embarrassment from those lines existing in a printed form.

S: Pinkie Pie throws a pie in poor Soundwave's face.

O: And we get a pretty great two-page spread where a variety of things are happening...

S: Rarity is riding in Arcee's vehicle mode as they launch themselves at Shrapnel.

O: Optimus is punching the crap out of Starscream.

S: Megatron orders Shockwave to just get some magical shit already!

O: Bumblebee goes on a tangent about Equestria's tasteful decor.

S: More bickering back and forth, and went- then Twilight summons the orange cap of shame onto Megatron's Fusion Cannon.

O: For reference, this is referring to the fact that Megatron with his original alt can't normally be sold without said orange cap identifying that he's not a real gun.  Which was a thing that was put into place after- or like you know, late 80’s, early 90’s.  Um, at least, you know, he can't be sold without this in the states and personally I think it's fucking hilarious.

S: And through the powers of friendship and Spike's awesome skills, the Space Bridge opens and Spike and Grimlock come through and assist.  And this is dragon Spike.

O: Yes.

S: Not human Spike.

O: Oh- to which, dragon Spike is wearing adult human Spike’s exo suit though.

S: Mm-hm.

O: To make this more confusing, how many Spikes would you like to go around?  That sounds really dirty within the fandom- and I'm gonna move right along!

B: [laugh]

S: Twilight and Optimus use alicorn magic and the Matrix in tandem to send the Decepticons home.

O: One delightful tea and Energon party later… the Autobots arrive back home themselves.

S: Optimus then explodes the space bridge behind them to protect Equestria from the Decepticons.

O: Much to the sadness of the Autobots, who enjoyed their time with their new friends.

S: Unfortunately for the ponies, Shockwave might have figured out a way to bring them to Cybertron instead.

O: And on that sequel bait, the crossover ends.  And yes, there is actually a sequel that's been announced.  In fact, I think the first issue or two might be out, and we're definitely looking forward to reading it at some point.

S: I feel like I've definitely seen a cover…

O: Other than that, what were your thoughts and feelings about this crossover?

S: The colors and such were really nice, but the cartoony style that the My Little Pony artist used for the robots didn't really work for us.

O: And we want to add, we're not saying they're a bad artist!  It was merely a stylistic option that didn't mesh well for us, specifically for the robot characters.

S: Mm-hm.

O: Um, this was further compounded by the fact that normal- like, Transformers artists that we are more used to doing comics, were also involved in other issues.  And so, they were drawing the robots better, and then the ponies also didn't look like terribly off model or something.  So it was just less distracting when they were doing it.

S: Mm.

O: Overall the special was good, and we recommend it to you if you like Transformers and My Little Pony.

S: Not that you should, you know, wait for our recommendation or anything.

O: [laughs] Uh, the Fluttershy/Soundwave chapter was a standout for both of us.

S: It was very cute, and I really enjoyed how emotive the non-speaking cassettes were.

O: I loved seeing the poor man have to deal with Discord's nonsense.

S: I feel like... we could have done with something longer having him deal with Discord’s nonsense.

O: I- yeah, it was constrained in the way that they did this, where each- there were only four issues, and each issue was- was split into two parts.

S: Yeah, and it's only 24 pages an issue or something.  So it's very- they're very minimal and very constrained.

O: Right.

S: It's just an issue with the medium.  I also really enjoyed the Spike/Grimlock chapter, because it was nice to see them both admiring each other's qualities, and supporting each other, and just being so uplifting.

O: And cute!

S: Mm-hm.

O: My second favorite was probably the Pinkie Pie chapter though, because it was just completely batshit insane.  Uh, just- again, Shockwave had a whisk and a spatula, because he was planning on eating the ponies.  I- where do I go with that?  How do I make that better!?  I can't, that's the answer! [laughs]

S: Shockwave just really wants to- to practice his, um…

O: Culinary arts? [laughs]

S: Yeah. I don't know, the implication that Cybertronians have culinary arts is- it just kind of weirds me out.

O: [continues laughing] Yeah, but- but Gauge was like, “I have a recipe!”

S: I know!  Well, that's the entire implication, it's just like, oh.  Mm.

O: I love that we probably got more actual like, culinary cannon from a fucking My Little Pony crossover than any of the other Transformers comics combined!

S: Yeah.

O: That's weird! [laughs]

S: I mean, the fact that it does come from effectively a pre-war era does mean that we'd potentially get more culture.

O: Eh, yeah.  I mean, but I don't think this was pre-war.  It seemed like it was mid-war?

S: I know, but just the fact that the uh, IDW2 is mostly pre-war.

O: Ah, that's true, that's true.

S: The characters all felt in character, the relationships were entertaining and sweet, and barring the one artist everyone was very expressive.

O: And with that, thanks for joining us for our April Fools’ special.  We hope ya’ll enjoyed, join us next time as we go back to business with episode 43, The Golden Lagoon.

S: Yay.  And that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast, for any additional information, show notes, or links you may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for ‘Afterspark Podcast’ such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, Youtube or AO3.  Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

[brandxspandex]

TF IDW reread: Megatron Origin

I think Megatron Origin as it stands alone is a…ok villain origin story. Yeah, having your livelihood taken away by the people in power who clearly don’t give a shit about you, then watching them murder one of your colleagues in front of you, before finding yourself what’s basically Sin City where you’ve gotta kill to survive, is a pretty fair reason to flip your shit. That being said, I don’t think it’s a good enough backstory on its own to explain the sheer extent of Megatron’s evil, which lasted over millions of years and killed billions of people. I also don’t think it does enough to explain the underlying rage and bloodlust it presents Megatron as having; his first kill feels like the boiling point of something that has been bubbling away inside him, then the progression of the story feels like we’re watching that emerge to become his dominant personality, but it doesn’t properly explain where this darkness inside him comes from. Sure, it establishes that the Senate doesn’t think much of the miners, and that there’s certainly severe problems with Cybertronian society overall, but we don’t see how it effects Megatron directly until the moment it finally becomes too much and flips his shit. Fortunately, these problems are all addressed by flashbacks in later series that further flesh out Megatron’s backstory and all fit really nicely into the story Megatron Origin tells to create a very compelling villain backstory.

So Megatron Origin works much better as a piece of a puzzle (even though it contains numerous things that are inconsistent with these later puzzle pieces, like Cybertron having two moons and Cybertronians bleeding blue energon). After being subjected to torments such as Whirl’s prison beating and Trepan’s attempted shadow play, on top of the general oppressions of being a miner under an uncaring and greedy Senate in a society that reduces one’s worth to one’s alt-mode, Megatron Origin provides a the tipping point where it all becomes too much. This suffering laid the seeds of the hate and rage that we finally see bubble to the surface when he takes his first life. There are still signs of the pacifist Megatron was established to have once been when he snaps out of his first murderous rage and is horrified at what he’s done, and when he later says that his actions were unintentional. It comes across as though Megatron had felt this darkness percolating inside him for some time, so his horror when he realises he’s killed someone is horror at the realisation that the monster growing inside him has finally been let loose.

Once it’s loose, he quickly falls for its seductions and allows it to take him over as he grows rapidly more violent over the course of the series. When rifling through his mind, Trepan commented on Megatron’s pride, which we see plenty of further evidence for throughout the series, and this incident itself is one of multiple very horrible moments in Megatron’s life where he’d been made to feel helpless. In the gladiatorial pits, Megatron is given the recognition his pride makes him crave, and is able to fight back against his helplessness and achieve power and dominance, all through dealing out violence and death. While his suffering laid the groundwork for the hate and rage inside him, the gladiatorial pits rewarded the violence they brought out of him (with his Point One Percenter spark helping him survive so long and rack up such as impressive win/kill streak no doubt) with the pleasures of glory and power.

Megatron starts out as a pacifist wanting to build a better, more equal society, but in the pits his motivation changes; he falls in love with inflicting pain, humiliation and death, and when he finally rallies his revolutionary movement it is not about making a better world, it is about the thrill of the fight.

He gathers his revolutionaries from the criminals of the most depraved city on Cybertron and builds the culture of his movement on the culture of death match gladiators to whom life is cheap and violence and dominance are valued.

He outright says to Sentinel that the peace he promises to bring is actually destruction and desolation; by the time Megatron has an army, he is already off the deep end.

Also, I think Megatron Origin fits in nicely with the idea of Megatron being a poet, since he sure does have a way with words in this.

Megatron Origin also lays down one of my favourite aspects of Starscream’s characterisation: him having been a raging Megatron groupie. Something I do worry about is that this aspect of his character may be retconned at some stage, because while there are a number of moments to support it, there are even more moments hammering home the fact that Starscream is manipulator who lies even to himself, so I could see it getting retconned as an act to gain Megatron’s favour. I really do hope it was genuine however because the thought of someone as cynical and self-centred as Starscream having at one point been willing to genuinely and passionately pledge his undying allegiance to someone else makes him a much more interesting and emotionally rich character to me. It also makes the degradation of his relationship with Megatron all the more tragic.

What Megatron Origin does make me question is why Starscream was pledging his allegiance to Megatron in the first place. Was he interested in Megatron the revolutionary, or Megatron the gladiator? There were bots in the crowd that looked like Starscream during Megatron’s first fight, although I don’t think they were clear enough to be taken as definitive evidence that Starscream was there at the time (especially given that we’d have to accept that Elita One was on Cybertron at the time if we were to take all Megatron Origin cameos at face value). When he was recruited by Soundwave for Megatron’s cause he thought that he and his Seekers were being recruited to fight alongside Megatron in the arena, and is visibly disappointed when he learns this is not the case. This certainly seems to suggest that he was interested in Megatron the gladiator, but it also raises the question as to why he was so eager to fight in deathmatches. Starscream’s a glory seeker sure, and he’s certainly willing to engage in deadly combat, but he doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would elect to so dramatically risk his life without a more distinct and sizeable reward. Furthermore, Starscream has repeatedly said that he looked up to Megatron as a leader who could bring about change, only to be betrayed when Megatron turned out to be more interested in violence. That seems more like something someone interested in Megatron the revolutionary would say. I suppose it’s possible that Starscream allowed himself to be recruited into Megatron’s revolutionary cause, but wanted to fight alongside him the arena for the honour of fighting along Megatron himself, because he was that much of groupie.

Speaking of Starscream, now that we know a little more about his backstory, particularly that he was a senator who went on the run for conning his taxpayers, some of the charges against him make more sense, but I want to know how many of these applied after he joined the Deceptions, because christ:

Also gotta add his reaction:

I swear, one of the most frustrating things about the fact they’re ending the IDW continuity is the fact that we probably won’t get much more info about Starscream’s backstory, and there’s clearly a lot left to tell.

On another note, this series was written prior to Functionalism being conceived of, so the story is just about the Decepticons arising in reaction to the upper echelons screwing over the lower classes. I think this is quite the waste, since that’s a story you can tell with humans, and has been told with humans, many, many times. I think the later introduction of Functionalism retroactively makes the story way better because it takes the powerful narrative of one group of people oppressing and (for the lack of a better word) “dehumanising” another, and presents it in a way that you can only do with Transformers. After all, why tell a story you can tell with pretty much any other type of characters, when you can instead tell one that ties the central gimmick of a story into one of its most major and emotionally resonant themes?

One thing that really bugs me about the backstory of IDW, which Megatron Origin is mostly responsible for, is the fact that we see so many characters in more or less the same state at the start of the story that they’re in 4 million years later. The series establishes Megatron, Starscream, Skywarp, Thundercracker, Soundwave and pretty much all his cassettes, the Constructicons, and even Swindle as major players in the Decepticons right at the start of the movement, in basically the same roles they have 4 million years later (then further series go on to add Shockwave and Overlord to that list, among others I’ve no doubt forgotten). It just seems utterly ridiculous that over the course of something as stupendously lengthy and turbulent as a 4 million year war, none of these characters died, or got significantly demoted/promoted, or deserted, or switched sides, or underwent some other sort of dramatic change. Sure, once they built up a significant army of expendables the core command team of Decepticons perhaps didn’t spend much time on the front lines, and maybe the only reason we see them fighting a lot in the modern comics is because they’ve got no cannon fodder left and had to return to fighting the war themselves. But even if they only took part in a tiny percentage of the actual battles of the war, over 4 million years that’s probably still going to be a lot, and there are so many other ways they could die or otherwise change over that time, so it seems silly they are still so much the same.

In summary, I think that overall Megatron Origin is something that got a lot better retroactively once it was contextualised in a number of flashback stories that added further character and plot details. It established a number of things that ended up working really well in the overall story, but was also responsible for some frustrating things.

I will now leave you with my favourite quote from the series: