#with a degree of fear and respect he doesnt usually have for ppl

[everybodyloveshippos]

catti-brie and artemis are The Duo of all time

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ramble ahead: We always hear about what a shitty person C*mille is (rightfully so, no abuser's actions should be forgotten) but we (or I) never hear about other women Magnus has dated. I mean, I think his insecurities are always there, it's very difficult to ignore them, but I'm sure he has dated women that weren't transphobic. Some people like to show Magnus as this person who's never been loved, and that's not true. Alec is different, of course, but he isn't the only person who's loved Magnus.

2/2 lmao Idk, I how do you feel about Magnus's insecurities while dating women? (I feel like dating men is a different subject, maybe with different insecurities)

you are absolutely correct! tbh i feel like we dont talk a lot about the women Magnus has dated because (apart from the malec-centrism) we dont really know about any other than Camille? like his named exes are Camille, George, Freddie Mercury, and I think that's it? i know he has girl exes in the books but i dont go by book canon etc etc

but i totally agree with you that it's very frustrating when people act like all of magnus' exes or even most were abusive or bad like. no! of course Magnus has had plenty of good relationships!!!! thats good and important!! hes been loved and hes been happy before, and that doesnt make Alec (or any of them, really) less special. he's had plenty of happy and fulfilling relationships in varying degrees, just like anyone else, and he VALUES these experiences, or else he wouldnt have his memento box. Magnus' exes are a part of his history and they're important okay, and i hate it when ppl try to erase that (altho i do love talking about Camille cuz you know. slut for angst and particularly exploring abuse and post-abuse dynamics. but you get what i mean). honestly it would be terrible if he's never had any good relationships before Alec, because like, thats horrible? and he deserves better? and it puts a kind of imbalance in their relationship where Magnus needs Alec to be loved, and like, no! i don't want that! I don't think Alec himself would want that! their relationship is healthy because every second they spend together is by choice, because they're their own people and theyre complete, okay, they dont need each other, they choose to be with each other because it makes them both happy

anyway, onto your actual question! i think Magnus has dated less women than men because of the simple fact that well, he's queer, and for most of his life he's lived as a queer man in a time where that was dangerous. so it was harder to find a woman he could date and be comfortable with (since a lot of queer women arent gonna be interested in him anyway) than it was a man, you know

but there are and have always been plenty of bi, not to mention straight-trans women (and bi ofc but that already falls under bi women lol), in the queer community, and i think those were his happiest/most fulfilling relationships with women. gnc woc (the mental image of Magnus dating butches is 😩😩😩👌👌👌👌👌👌) in particular, because, well. they get it

hmmm also the mental image of Magnus dating other immortal butch girls with a similar age is *chef's kiss*. especially gnc trans girls, since he's a gnc trans man himself. idk why but i have soft images in my head of Magnus and a girl sitting on top of a roof looking at night, talking about how gender was perceived in the culture/time each of them was born, and laughing at how crazy it is that things have changed so much, you know? making jokes about how it looks like mundanes can't keep their stories straight cuz every time they turn around there's a new rule, and laughing because they just feel so understood. and it's sweet

and Magnus putting his hands around her waist and laying his head on her shoulder and them just being all soft in this safe little space where they get to be fully themselves free of the constant performance that is existing as a queer poc in the world.... effervescent

of course theres been cishet girls as well (i mean Camille herself is implied to be one) and i feel like thats trickier, cuz cishet girls, well. they have a lot of expectations of what being in a relationship should be like, so many unspoken rules. even if they're not transphobic abusers, and they're actively supportive of him and all the facets of his identity, there's like. this kind of standart that they seem to live be. kind of like, well Magnus is a man, ergo, he will be The Man™®©. I think that would be his main insecurity, like, trying to live by these rules and not disappoint them, afraid that if he's not what they expect he'll lose their respect (even the ones who would never). It can get pretty damn tiring tbh, and i think those tend to last less, or just not be as good because theres either that constant gap, or he has to be guiding them through breaching it, and it can get exhausting

i mean of course thats what friends are for, and its not like these feelings arent present when he's with men, especially white and/or cis ones. not to mention the fact that he's a warlock. he's all but bound to have a partner who doesn't understand certain things because there are so many intersections to his identity, but you know. theres a certain dynamic that comes with Cis Straight Girls™, especially white ones, that's hard to shake off

so i think his main insecurities would be in those relationships, especially because you know, the tiredness of this constant game they might not even realize theyre playing because theyre so used to these unspoken rules also gets to him in general, and sometimes he just wants a break, and he feels a bit guilty about it but it's true (and it doesn't mean he isn't happy with them or doesnt love them, thats normal. but welp, monogamous ideals of love plus insecurities make him feel like if he feels tired of certain things, it means that he doesn't love them enough, and that's Bad™. i think that might also be something that comes up - his fear that hes evil and uncapable of loving, like his father said, because hes not loyal enough, even if he's always been painfully loyal. you know?). not to mention the usual drama of coming out as trans, or the immortality/warlock blues, etc

idk I'm not sure if i answered your question, i feel like this answer is all over the place lol but i did like talking about it so i hope that's worth something? and I'm always interested in the many aspects of Magnus' past and history, so :)