#wishes farewell 2017

[allwaswell16]

F a v o r i t e F i c s O f 2 0 2 4

As an ardent reader of One Direction fan fiction, 2024 has been an amazing year for fics! I read so many incredible fics this year, so please check out all my recs for the year here! Below you will find fics that brought me to tears, made me laugh, comforted me, filled me with joy, or had me yelling in my living room. I share this list with you all not to say that these fics are better than others from this year, but to say thank you to these writers who have left a mark on me with their fics.

To all our fandom's writers, thank you for the gift of your stories! Sending much love to you in the new year!

🪩 Louis / Harry 🪩

with venom on your tongue by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze

(E, 91k, enemies to lovers) a boarding school AU where Harry and Louis are academic rivals until they realize they’re more similar than they thought.

don't be afraid to love (and love again) by localopa / @voulezloux

(T, 83k, trans Louis) the one where louis is trans and afraid, harry is cis and brave, and being 100% yourself is easier said than done.

When the Lights Go Out by thelarenttrap / @antidotetogo

(E, 79k, F1 au) In its near eighty years of existence, Formula 1 has never had an out gay driver. In 2017, Harry Styles signs a contract with Scuderia AlphaTauri alongside his childhood friend and competitor, Louis Tomlinson. The next decade of their careers is some of the most tumultuous press--on and off the track--Formula 1 has ever seen.

I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) by @lululawrence

(NR, 74k, soulmates) Harry and Louis are literal stars who have known they were soulmates from their creation eons ago, however when Louis came to Earth to start the next phase of their fated future, he forgot everything. Even Harry.

A Frail Farewell by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(M, 44k, famous/not famous) Louis can’t believe his luck when he is offered one of the easiest jobs he has had as a long-term house-sitter for the wealthy. Most of all he likes that there are no surprises until he gets the shock of his life from ex-pop star Harry Styles who isn’t supposed to be home.

The Things We Know To Be Wild by harryanthus_annuus / @harryanthus-annuus

(M, 39k, dragons) Louis is a London zoologist sent by the University of Highlands and Islands to assess the safety of the island of Eroda as part of the Wonder Seekers Project for sustainable tourism.

hard times in elmsmere by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci

(M, 37k, time travel) for louis, being a full-fledged vampire complicates everything, not just his relationship with harry but with harry’s entire coven who took Louis in as an orphan.

Enough To Wish For More by galactic_larry / @galacticlarry

(M, 33k, The Bridges of Madison County au) Louis Tomlinson just wants a few days of peace and quiet while his family are out of state. But when he meets the lead singer of a band he’s never heard of, his life and everything he thought he knew about it changes forever.

Your Reign is Free (to give along to Santa) by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 28k, humor) It’s Christmas Eve. It’s a totally normal Christmas Eve. Harry and Louis have some friends coming by, and some totally normal birthday and Christmas plans. It’s a totally typical totally normal Christmas Eve. A fic that takes place over 24 (+1) hours where surely everything will go totally to plan.

and so I have to say (before I go) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 27k, mystery) Sometimes falling in love is taking a leap of faith, jumping into the unknown with your eyes closed, hoping someone will be there to catch you. Sometimes falling in love is seeing the person in front of you, all their flaws and imperfections, and taking that leap nonetheless.

Rewriting the Melody by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 26k, canon divergence) Louis doesn’t get put in One Direction. This time, the path to true love takes the long way round, including singing in toilet cubicles, fruit baskets, and long distance band counselling from someone who really doesn’t know what he’s doing, he just wants to keep talking to Harry.

Sugar, Sugar by @parmahamlarrie

(E, 25k, sugar daddy Louis) Meeting your soulmate was the most joyous event of one’s life… or at least, it’s supposed to be. Harry, in all of his 25 year old wisdom, was suspicious of the role fate plays in everyone's lives. He'd rather focus his time dating older men he meets off of a sugar baby website.

Room For One More Troubled Soul by patdkitten / @babyarcanacasey

(M, 25k, supernatural elements) Louis Tomlinson is the chief medical examiner of the Centre for the Law Enforcement of Supernatural Beings - more commonly referred to as simply "The Centre".

On a starlit night by @lunarheslwt

(M, 24k, omegaverse) omega and future Luna Louis is holding a mating ceremony to find his mate, but what he doesn’t expect to see amongst the alphas vying for his hand, is a familiar, yet unexpected face: Harry Styles.

Colorful Hearts by Larrysmomfics / @larrysmomfics

(M, 20k, humor) In a world where orgasmic emissions change color depending on the person’s mood, Louis Tomlinson’s semen has only ever been blue. At the recommendation of his doctor he attends a support group for people with similar conditions. 

 Behind Smoke Stained Curtains by @jaerie

(E, 19k, omegaverse) The worlds align when Louis meets an alpha from the road with as many secrets as he holds himself.

Stand on Holy Ground (series) by @wishingforloushair

(E, 17k, religion kink) Louis comes back to confess again, and Harry has an idea of how Louis can show God his devotion. 

Peeping by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 16k, roommates) Louis has a thing for his housemate, Harry is under the impression that clothing around the house is an optional extra, and neither of them seem to be able to stop wanking long enough to get their shit together and admit their true feelings.

Lost But Won by @2tiedships2

(NR, 16k, omegaverse) When Harry loses his passport after a weekend trip to see Niall, the inconvenience of being stranded in America becomes a little more bearable after meeting Louis. Or a lot more bearable.

At your service, for your usage (series) by @holdingontochaos

(E, 16k, sex work) Louis is a doctor who works so much that he has barely any time to himself for pleasure, let alone to clean his house so he hires Harry as his naked maid and kills two birds with one stone.

so pull me closer, why don’t you pull me close? by @alwaysxlarrie

(M, 9k, uni) If the captain of the soccer team wants to substitute players and be Harry's partner instead... well, Harry's lemons just turned into lemon meringue pie. Who is he to argue with fate?

 and then, i wait there for you by punk_pillow_princess / @punkpillowprincess

(M, 9k, established relationship) Harry has always dreamed of having his “happily ever after”, but hasn’t found the right one yet. Suddenly, he meets Louis.

never just the tip by journeytothepast / @suckerforhome

(E, 6k, omegaverse) Harry believes alphas can't control themselves. Louis proves him wrong.

Just Two Stars Passing By by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(E, 5k, omegaverse) Harry blew up on TikTok and became a fashion commentator during the pandemic. Somehow he ends up covering arrival fashion for the 2024 Euros, and somehow Louis Tomlinson already knows his name.

Good-Old Fashioned Lover Boy by not_fitzwilliam / @not-fitzwilliam-darcy

(NR, 5k, omegaverse) When a miscalculated decision leads to an accidental courtship with the sweetest, most gentle alpha, Harry is torn between breaking the alpha's heart and telling the truth. 

Pretty and Preposterous by @brightlyharry

(NR, 5k, neighbors) Harry donates a copy of Pride and Prejudice to his little free library. He never expects what comes next.

 Pussy Juice by @homosociallyyours

(M, 4k, girl direction) While she manages to dodge the bar’s “special” drink, the Pussy Juice shot, she can’t avoid the feelings that come up when her former teacher (and teen crush), Louis joins her and her friends for the night.

 That’s the way love goes by bella28

(T, 4k, soulmate goose!) In a world, where soulmate geese are sent to the people who can’t figure out who their soulmate is, Harry finds himself stuck with a goose when he is attending a concert of his favourite artist Louis Tomlinson.

Come On and Rescue Me by @kingsofeverything

(E, 3k, silver fox Louis) Louis only intends to watch his hot neighbor’s Instagram live, but he winds up with his hand down his pants.

Figure This Out by @haztobegood

(E, 2k, age difference) Louis is everything Harry could have imagined when he’d typed “silver fox enthusiast” into his Grindr profile. Too bad he's probably scared Louis off by giving him too many expensive gifts.

coming home by @seekforwarmth

(E, 2k, canon) It’s coming home, one way or another.

What’s in a Name by @hellolovers13

(T, 2k, soulmates au) Louis had always known Harry was his soulmate. The name on his arm disagreed. But what did his soulmark know about true love anyway.

 You are so gorgeous (it makes me so mad) by @dreaminrainbows

(M, 2k, pining) Louis is a hot bartender and Harry is pathetically in love with him

The Unselected Journals of Louis W. Tomlinson - Vol 1 by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(E, 1k, epistolary) The Wandering of Things was not new, nearly two years into living here. However, the, uh, nature of this particular thing was quite different.

skinny dip (in water under the bridge) by hazzahtomlinson / @itsnotreal

(G, 880 words, exes) It’s a Wednesday and nostalgia might just get the best of Louis.

can't hide from yourself by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

(M, 666 words, suspense) Harry's home alone, faced with his reflection. And something's not quite right.

🪩 Rare Pairs 🪩

Like A Force Of Nature by @reminiscingintherain

(T, 30k, Zayn/Liam) the Heartstopper AU no one asked for.

To start again by @loretheloner

(E, 27k, Louis/Michael Blackwell) Louis finds himself slowly falling for a bandmate again, despite Oli's warnings against it. Michael finds himself slowly falling for his boss and fighting against the ghost of Louis' past relationship. 

It’s a Craving Not a Crush by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(E, 9k, Liam/Louis) the one where Liam and Louis are best bros who end up getting married so that Liam has the insurance he needs to go to rehab. Now that he’s sober, they can get divorced. But do they want to?

Can You Feel Where the Wind Is by @fallinglikethis

(M, 3k, Zayn/Liam) He remembers arguing that he had no real power over anything, so no one would care about him, let alone try to hurt him. But that assessment had proven to be untrue today.

I regret you all the time by @disgruntledkittenface

(E, 2k, Louis/Prince William) Louis’ friends don’t understand, and they wouldn’t even if he explained. But every time William texts, Louis drops everything to go see him.

Skin on My Skin by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

(E, 2k, Zayn/Liam) Let me touch you where you like it Let me do it for ya

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

First of all, thank you to my darling Lola @monamipencil for tagging me for this, it's actually the perfect opportunity for me to announce this.

This is officially my last post on this account. As much as I adore this account, it was started over 7 years ago as a shared account and I think it's about time I actually start an account that is entirely my own.

If you want to continue following me, my new account is @nothoughtsjustfic and I'll be very happy to see you there!

However, if you no longer wish to follow me, I just want to say thank you for following me this far. I appreciate all the support I've received on this account over the past years and I truly wish all of my followers, past, present and future, the very best of things.

For my wrapped I want to look back on not just 2024 but all of my writing on this account as a kind of final farewell to the account so excuse that this is a lil long.

I also got carried away with fic recs at the end oops.

First pieces of writing on whipped-for-kpop-fics

My first piece on this account GOT7 catch you staring 117 notes 0.9k Individual GOT7 x reader reactions, fluff. Posted 4th April 2017

My first fic on this account Birthday Boy 386 notes 3.8k Jungkook x reader smut. Posted 1st September 2017

First piece of 2024 Petnames Seventeen would use for their S/O  93 notes 0.9k  Individual Seventeen x reader headcanons, fluff. Posted 24th March 2024

First fic of 2024 Starlight Eyes 103 notes 14k Idol Seungkwan x staff reader, friends to lovers, fluff. Posted 28th March 2024

Last piece of writing on whipped-for-kpop-fics

Naïve 127 notes 11.5k Best friend Chan x reader, thriller, angst. Posted 27th November 2024

Most popular pieces of writing

Delivery Boy  2,312 notes 3.3k  Delivery boy Jungkook x customer reader, smut. Posted 9th October 2017 I still can’t believe this is the most popular thing I’ve ever written literally 7 years later.

Life’s A Beach 1,663 notes 7.3k  Lifeguard Mingyu x reader, strangers to lovers, smut. Posted 23rd July 2024

Let our lips lock, baby 1,162 notes 9.6k Mingyu x reader, friends to lovers, fluff, smut. Posted 6th April 2024

BTS when their S/O shakes from an orgasm 1,021 notes 0.5k Individual BTS members x reader smut reactions Posted 8th February 2018 Okay this one has genuinely surprised me; I never knew this post was so popular and honestly forgot about it. Made me laugh to reread just now though. I remember I used to get so frustrated looking for gifs to match the reactions because the laptop I had then was so slow. Ah, memories.

Longest fics

Troublemaker 994 notes 15.9k Gang boss Seungcheol x gang member reader, angst, fluff, crack, smut. Posted 9th September 2024

Mirror Mirror 175 notes 15.9k Seokmin x witch reader, magic au, fluff, minor smut, minor angst. Posted 27th October 2024

My personal favourites on whipped-for-kpop-fics

Protection Squad 42k series. Shapeshifter Yoongi x reader, angst, fluff. Posted 2nd April – 21st June 2018 This series started because I was struggling mentally and wanted to write about playing with cats as a form of therapy and then this happened. I got a lot of responses and asks about this series from readers who related to the big mental health theme and so I think that is such a big reason as to why this series will always have a special place in my heart. I like to think it helped readers who were struggling feel seen and understood, like they aren’t alone. Plus it’s shapeshifters and I love that, even if the writing is obviously written by a much younger me.

Troublemaker 994 notes 15.9k Gang boss Seungcheol x gang member reader, angst, fluff, crack, smut. Posted 9th September 2024 I truly think this is one of the best things I’ve ever written and I don’t think I’ll ever write something better. The vibes were just on point when I was writing and this one really ran away from me but in the best of ways. I genuinely adore this story and the characters.

Dark 191 notes 3.2k Monster Jeonghan x human reader, horror. Posted 18th August 2024 This was the first attempt at writing a horror fic and I loved the entire experience of writing it. It opened my heart and mind up to this kind of darker fics, and the feedback I received for Dark really made me so happy and convinced me that I should write more horror/thriller fics in the future!

Total pieces of posted writing: 33

Reactions/headcanons: 18

Fics: 15

Total posted wordcount: 121,420 (roughly)

Writing plans for 2025

To open up my new account starting on the 1st January 2025 I’m going to post a less than 3k word piece for each Seventeen member, including: another vampire Jeonghan fic, single parent Seokmin and siren Seungkwan! I’m very excited about those.

But what I am most excited about is that in 2025 I will post the entire first part of my pirate Seventeen series! Part one includes 7/8 chapters and each should be around 10k so this is going to be my longest story perhaps ever but it’s all planned and I’m so in love with it, you have no idea. I think the total wordcount for the pirate fic will be around 500k, which is admittedly terrifying and no doubt daunting as a reader but I hope at least one person will join me on that adventure when it happens!

I’m really bad at actually picking favourites so this is just a list of some of the fics I’ve read and enjoyed this year, arranged by svt member because why not.

Poly crossroads by @smileysuh Mingyu x reader x Wonwoo A New Rhythm by @sluttywoozi Yoongi (BTS) x reader x Jihoon

Seungcheol Have My Baby by @seokgyuu on my knees by @sescoups eat. play. love. by @husbandhoshi

Jeonghan young & stupid by @wavesmp3

Jisoo mr. nice guy by @toruro

Junhui ocean view by @junkissed What’s My Age Again? by @milfgyuu

Soonyoung Burnt Coffee by @highvern warm by @ddeonghwa-s Yes, Baby by milfgyuu just a moment with you by husbandhoshi (s)exercise by @monamipencil charity f*ck by @ncteez What? Like It's Hard? by @starsstuddedsky

Wonwoo no such thing as too perfect by @fairyhaos into the night by @etherealyoungk Heart of the Sea by highvern 34.6037° S, 58.3816° W by @the-boy-meets-evil

Jihoon Shy Woozi by @hoshifighting The Hair Tie Test by sluttywoozi Somewhere In The Middle by sluttywoozi

Seokmin RAW by @ourdawnishotterthanourday $$60 billion by @onlyseokmins

Mingyu When I Kissed the Teacher by highvern Whipped by @minisugakoobies The Way of The House Husband by @wonustars

Minghao Perspective by @tomodachiii

Seungkwan Who Wants to be a Dumbass by @soongyeopsal The Beach House by @bluehoodiewoozi

Hansol Quondam by @flurrys-creativity favorite coworker by sescoups The Cat-Parent Trap by bluehooziewoozi

Chan venus in furs by monamipencil DOES HE KNOW? by @hannieehaee

Oh I got far too carried away with this fic list and now this post is super long but all of the fics are more than worth it! Seriously, I highly recommend each of them.

Thank you to everyone who has supported this account, and me, by following, reblogging and commenting. I endlessly appreciate every single one of you.

May this next year be a happy and healthy year for us all and may we all feel genuine love, in whatever form that comes in be that platonic, romantic or otherwise.

See you again, I hope, Chee 💗

Closed: 31/12/2024

[ineffable-opinions]

GMMTV 2025

This year I had discussed two of my greatest peeves with GMMTV:

Lack of BL literacy and harrowing learning curve

Khujin paradox – it is their asset and liability

here & here

Having seen what GMMTV plans to offer in the year 2025, I have to admit that they might be on the right track.

Ticket To Heaven – I didn’t expect this. What percent of Thailand’s population is Christian? (Thailand has significant and influential Christian population.) Many frames and scenes in this one looks they were from the Japanese BL movie from 2007 Boys Love – School Boy Crush. Serendipitously, it is so similar to Jijo Kuriakose’s autobiographical queer film — Velipaadu (വെളിപ്പാട്) which also has seminarian main characters. But since the characters are Orthodox/Jacobite Christians but not Catholics there is additional compulsory heterosexuality.

Memoir of Rati – Most Beautiful Count colorism debacle has tarnished my love for Thai historical setting. This is one series where I really wish GMMTV did not stick to the nenja/wakashu style pairing. Yaoi revolution did not happen all those years ago for this to manifest in 2024-25. These aesthetic choices are something GMMTV and Change 2561 (among others) will learn to overcome. Eventually.

Me and Thee – I am not impressed by the choice of khujin for this role. The comedy is not working for me and I think that's probably because there is not enough gap moe between the actor playing the mafia boss and the mafia boss playing the actor. However, fans of this khujin might enjoy it immensely for the very reason. Love guru set up is underplayed, so I am expecting tonal shift half way through the series where the drama will play into the soap opera it is supposed be parodying. Some kidnapping and bloodshed maybe. Odo (royal road progression) is odo for a reason. Unintended consequence of the series was to remind me of my dearest wish to see unabridged version of Breath, the story of TulHin from Love By Chance 2) with shibari and all.

A Dog and a Plane - feels like a nice mix of Japanese BL Ossan’s Love: LOVE or DEAD and Ossan's Love: In the Sky and Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese. Since I thoroughly enjoyed both, I'm looking forward to this one. It also promises a lot of "wife-chasing" (My Stand-in's influence?) complete with a grand, lives-saving, heart-winning gesture. 

Magic of Prophecy - Fortune telling as a reason for forced proximity in provincial Thailand seems nice but I'm afraid the series is going to go where The Sign went with superstitious local folks (as opposed to rational main characters, except it was a fantasy show hinging on those very local people's faith and festival) and gun violence. BL being a vehicle for Thaification is kind of inevitable but I wish it wasn't so and we would get more provincial shows like Love Poison. For a country that dared to give us Tropical Malady (2004) directed by Apichatpong Weerasethakul and Malila: The Farewell Flower (2017) directed by Anucha Boonyawatana (director of Not Me), their BL needs to do better. 

Boys in Love - honor student x diliquent is a beloved pairing but this neurotypical honor student is not sitting well with me at the moment thanks to Iwashiro from Outsider Communication by Natsume Tsuno overwhelming my brain. But that is a me problem. The other pairs are cool and is in line with the saccharine sweetness GMMTV is known for.

Cat for Cash - this is for that khujin's fans as well as for cat lovers. Surrealist comedy with glittering, sputtering succulents in Love is Like A Poison has raised my tolerance for this brand of romantic dramedy. 

Mu-Te-Luv - I am intrigued because it gives me the kind of feeling that I got when I watched the trailer for Hello Mummy. I wonder how Thai audience will receive this series' take on the non-romantic themes it deals with. So, I'm equally apprehensive and excited. 

Love You Teacher - surprisingly it is Thailand that managed to get this show going. De-aging is a popular trope in BL and fan-fiction. Given the taboo nature of de-aging as a set up it is hard to pull off. But, if anyone can do that it is Thailand. This is resourceful side of khujin - they can't take the jado (evil road) narrative progression. No twisted moe. Yet, it leaves space for deception. Faking or automatic de-aging to cope with repressed stress and anxiety, like selective mutism and amnesia. It will be about character growth and unconditional love. Otherwise, the price GMMTV would have to pay would be too steep.

Melody of Secrets - wow, a dark take on amnesia trope! Seems like GMMTV finally figured out how to tease a jado progression within an odo plot - by employing a (faux)-look-alike so as not to upset khujin fans' worldview while offering them a thrilling experience. But it is clear that GMMTV won't be able top commit to a proper jado plot. That not their brand. It will not help with branding and advertising. There's no helping it. The violin scene reminded me of the Japanese BL with numerous adaptations Fujimi Orchestra. Also, the mind-forgot-but-body-remembers trope?! 

My Romance Scammer - gold digging, getting ONESELF trapped in the love trap that one laid and marry-first-regret-later tied with the friction of getting a divorce. I want it to have first ever remarriage of the same pair in a live action BL.

That Summer - how does Thailand keep getting casting net wrong? At least it is better than diving with the net we're got in love sea. Prince? Who was assaulted?  Found at a Thai beach? Reminds me of princess Latifa bint Mohammed Al Maktoum debacle.

Only Friends: Dream On - I like this set up more than the one for season 1. I wasn't happy about it and thought they could do better. I'm looking forward to this season. And for khujin fans, isn't it a good chance to enjoy netorare and stalking horse tropes since the Love Dodecahedron will anyway resolve into khujin pairings?

Burnout Syndrome - super pretty, shonen ai style art! Look at the nude he drew! Isn't it giving early BL vibes, from before the donkey dicks took over the BL manga scene thanks to Korea? Isn't it a beacon (please forgive the pun) of hope in the strange, new world of uncensored smut scenes in BL manhwa? Khujin's gonna khujin and stalking horse gonna stalking horse. I'm truly intrigued. 

Head 2 Head - fine old wine, new bottle. Let's see if the wine (rivalry to romance, unrequited to required, college campus setting) can be as intoxicating when drunk from the new bottle.

Dare You To Death - Channel V style drama with khujin boarding together for reasons.  Unfortunately, it did not moe for me. Maybe because I'm still trying to get over Zheng Bei x Jiang XiaoHai ship from The First Shot 雪迷宫 that paled in comparison to Zheng Bei x Gu YiRan ship. Honestly, I started watching just to listen to Huang Jingyu say heroin (hailouyin) and accidental got too invested in the cop x kingpin ship. 

I wonder who suggested GMMTV to add so much of occult and fortune-telling in their series. Also, I am a little worried after seeing this post by @guzhufuren and this post by @alwaysthepessimist - there is opposition to BL in East Asian countries led by certain groups of feminists based on the disproportionate benefit accruing to men (especially actors, voice actors, creators and production companies' executives), declining presence of women in entertainment and advertising as well as shifting purchasing power from women to men through consumption of BL.

In this video, BL scholar Kim Hyojin talks about Boys Love in an Era of Feminism: Online Discourse on “Leaving BL” in Late 2010s Korea.

[ruiniel]

Hidden

Fandom: Castlevania series (2017-2021)

Pairing: Alucard x fem!reader

Rating: 🔞

Count: 1.5k

Tags & Warnings: Alucard POV, frustrated masturbation, Adrian get yourself together hon, pining, romantic angst, resolved emotional tension, finally they talk, this can only go on for so long, one chapter left

Part I - Part II - Part IV

III. Moments between

He paces up many coiled stairways, clawing carelessly at the wall with one taloned hand.

Why did you do that? You’re leaving, you sounded undecided but you will probably follow, and he’ll never see you again. He could barely keep himself from telling you all the things that sprouted like poison from his heart in those moments, but he tried, tried to be the friend you needed. 

Because he is a fool who waited for too long, and in the end, he does wish you well.

Adrian slams shut the door to his chamber, wondering how he ended up here as he gazes long at its darkness, its barrenness. With clipped movements he discards his coat and boots and slowly walks forward, dropping unceremoniously on the bed with his head in his hands. 

He's a fool, yes, and an idiot besides, because the pain of the tiding you imparted tonight is only surpassed by the sweet, hot silk of your tongue on an inch of skin. 

He rises again, walking to and fro like a trapped animal in a cage.

Why the hell did you do that? You're not the kind of person who would toy with another, and yet... he couldn’t read the look in your eyes. He sits back down, wanting to both cry and scream, not brave enough to go back there and ask you. And why, to make things worse? He's come to know you and he most certainly has come to love you in so many ways, and hell knows he respects you enough to not intervene in such an important moment of your life. 

And still, the most basic instinct curls like a cornered wolf inside him ready to pounce, shattering those honorable thoughts; the wetness of your mouth won't leave his mind.

Lying on the bed, he breathes in, breathes out, trying to shut it all from thought. He tries, but his body won’t listen. He tries, even as he slowly undoes his belts and trousers. 

He shouldn't, he has no right to use the memory of you this way.  Adrian growls low in his throat, arms falling at his sides. While he can gut night creatures with his bare hands, the guilty pleasure trickling like nectar from the warmth of your tongue makes it impossible to win here.

He'll be selfish. He'll have this, at least, for his own. He slides his trousers down his hips and takes himself in hand, and his fingers are soon sticky with his slick. He’s never been easily affected by these things, but now he's so sensitive it might consume him alive if he doesn't do something to ease the pressure and it doesn't take long, either; the thought of your closeness and the conjuring of his imagination is more than enough, and he strokes almost spitefully, until he's shivering and groaning, spilling himself over his hand. 

Panting, he stares up at the ceiling without seeing it, lying still with his trousers undone and his shirt in disarray. 

At least he can think now, but that is no improvement, apparently. His low, bitter laughter fills the silence. “Pathetic...” Adrian shakes his head, eyes closing against tears that mock.

He does his best to avoid crossing paths with you for the following days. He fills his time with every chore possible and roams the forest at night, running with the animals that see him as their own when he shape-shifts. His feelings fall in the background in that state, which provides much needed respite as the time of your departure approaches. Even though he tells himself he can't and won't be there, come the time, he's on the battlement high up, watching the cart he knows is yours depart on slow wheels.

He's not even said farewell, and you hadn't sought him out, either. It's better this way, Adrian keeps repeating, close to doubling over from the grief drowning the shores of his spirit. 

He walks away when the caravan disappears from sight, descending towards the laboratory and library on a known path strewn with many memories, berating himself for his cowardice for a while, but concluding with a sigh at the futility of it all.

“You're here.”

There is no greater absurdity than the sound of your voice. Has he gone mad? But then it’s accompanied by the sight of you, sitting at one long working table, a vial in hand and a tome in the other, looking straight at him.

Adrian goes rigid, a million conflicting thoughts pinning him to the spot. “... so are you.” He dreads asking, and he's never feared anything in his life before. “Why?”

You cast your eyes down. “I decided to stay,” you say, raising your gaze to his. “Here.”

He can't quite grasp it yet, merely waiting for you to continue.

“The gist of it is... I thought long about it: about what I want, and what I don't want. Matei and I spoke... we parted amiably enough.” You sigh, closing the tome.

If you're miserable for your choice, he's the lowest of beasts for the relief bursting through him. “You're staying.”

“I'm staying,” you repeat, not quite smiling. “And you've been avoiding me.”

Adrian takes a step further, then another. “I had to.” Damn his heart, choking on the words. “I needed to,” he admits.

“No,” you rise and near. “You don't need to explain yourself. I'm sorry for... I didn't think that night, I didn't mean to...”

Damn this. “You didn't?” He looks down on you now, taller as he is, because your face shows... vulnerability, the kind he's never, ever seen before, but now he can’t stop whatever pushes him. 

You're staring at him strangely. “Adrian I... you don't know... you don't know...” You turn away, hiding your face from him and how he wishes you wouldn't, because this feels like cleaning a festering wound: necessary.

He nears you, daring to place a hand on your shoulder. “Will you tell me, then?”

Your shoulders rise then fall. “I stayed for myself, yes. I stayed because it would be such a shame to throw away my purpose... but I also stayed to be near you. I couldn't imagine myself... so far away from...”

A pause. Elation. He feels like a jester whose cunning has been strangled out of him by a mad king. “I'm happy you stayed,” Adrian says simply. The admission hangs in the air, a fragile bridge spanning the chasm between you.

You turn your head, and in your eyes there is horror melded with surprise. Your hand goes involuntarily to your chest, and he knows what you're reaching for. “How so?”

He's dangerously close to shattering, but speaks anyway. “The night I gifted you that pendant, I wanted to ask you something, but then… well.”

You swallow a tremble to your voice when you speak. “What did you want to ask, Adrian?”

You’re standing there, closer than you've ever been. Everything is turned on its head, his sadness melted by the cinders of hope. “If you’d join me, if you'd go away with me, on a trip. Just you and I, together. I know a path, I’ve been… I’ve been going for years, at around this time. It involves a lot of trekking, but the sights are splendid, worth it.” 

“Just you and I?”

You’re tilting closer, a hand on his arm.

“Yes. It’s safe besides.”

“I'd feel safe with you anywhere,” you murmur, your lashes heavier. The speed of your heartbeat rouses his blood.  “ And I really didn’t mean to… last time, but I…” Your hand reaches for his, and he can but watch with bated breath as you hug it to your chest then kiss his palm, eyes closing. “I couldn’t help it.” And as if to prove it, you gently nip at one finger.

There are times in one's life when a single moment separates a chapter from another, but it may be so short that one breath of hesitation is enough to chase it away. No, Adrian thinks. Not this time. 

His finger glides along your lips, pausing midway. “You didn’t answer,” he follows gently, bathing in the sight, scent, and sensation of you. 

You seem trapped by the gesture, lips parted as Adrian slowly wets his thumb on the lower one. He’s beginning to see, to understand. 

“Yes,” you utter, eyes lowering just as his fingers wrap around your chin and he dips his face to yours.

You fall into him when he takes an eager taste of your mouth, and Adrian thanks his innate balance but lets himself be happily affected, an arm wrapping around you as he props himself against the nearest shelf. Your hands are on him, your body leaning into his with complete trust. And when you break apart, it’s with a clarity that overwhelms him, starved and haplessly relieved.

“Sweet, sweet girl…” Adrian soothes, running both hands up and down your back; you shudder, and the rush he feels at that is beatific. He doesn’t dare speak it aloud, not yet.

But there are steps, voices. 

You both quickly tilt towards a more secluded space, wrapped around each other, watching a study group walk into the library. 

Adrian closes his eyes, reminded of the time then looks at you, placing a short kiss on your forehead. This is far from over, you need to speak, there are so many things … you both need.  “... My chambers?” 

You nod without hesitation, coiling your arms tightly around his neck.

Part IV

[ezrasimp]

thank you @amrv-5 for tagging me!! this is actually so much fun because this year was the first year where i actually tracked each of the films i watched (because @cannibalismpdf informed me i actually had to log each film lmaoo) this year i watched 107 films, 71 of which were new to me. seeing 71 surprised me so much considering how many times i rewatch films paha, but here's my top nine!! (explanations for the top 9, and the runners-up under the cut!)

Alien (1979) dir. Ridley Scott Bullet Train (2022) dir. David Leitch But I'm a Cheerleader (1999) dir. Jamie Babbit Chicago (2002) dir. Rob Marshall Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) dir. Daniels (Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert) The Four Seasons (1981) dir. Alan Alda Paddington 2 (2017) dir. Paul King The Telephone Box (originally: La cabina) (1972) dir. Antonio Mercero The Wild Robot (2024) dir. Chris Sanders

gonna try and keep these explanations around 100 words each because i do tend to ramble i apologise.

Alien - i truly can't believe it took me so long to watch this amazing ass film. i was on the edge of my seat the whole time and i understand why it's a classic

Bullet Train - got scared this was so overhyped by all the tiktoks edits i'd seen of it, but holy fuck i really don't think it is. it's so much fun and aaron taylor-johnson and brian tyree henry are a delightful highlight

But I'm a Cheerleader - how did this film come out in 1999????? like how???????? it's so beautiful while also being sad and hopeful at the same time, and watching this film made me realise why natasha lyonne is a queer icon <33

Chicago - once again surprised it took me this long to watch this film considering how much i love musicals and movie musicals but now that i finally have. oo booy!! love all the songs and the choreo is so good

Everything Everywhere All at Once - i will always regret not watching this film at the cinema because i would give anything to watch this on the big screen. someone i know is writing their diss on this film, on how its entire thing is just "nothing matters but positive" and yeah. yeah man. awoke something in me.

The Four Seasons - AHHH!!! i neeeeed to rewatch this holy shit, this is such a fun film and my favourite of alan alda's films i've watched (so far) by far!! the vibes are great but it's the friends as family trope that really gets to me

Paddington 2 - technically cheating with this because i love the entire trilogy (all of which i watched for the first time this year), but out of all of them paddington 2 was my favourite because i think it was the funniest and most charming of them all <3

The Telephone Box - omfg watch this. watch this right now. here on youtube, it's a short film, only about half an hour. and as a matter of fact i'm not gonna say anything about it. just watch it please. it has subtitles in many languages <33

The Wild Robot - the moment i saw the trailer for this film, i knew i'd adore it. and i was so right. i want to give chris sanders a hug. this film was so warm and beautiful and i cried through 3/4ths of it.

and now for the runners-up!!:

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) dir. Joel Crawford (still feel bad about being skeptical about this film. it proved me so wrong) The Questor Tapes (1974) dir. Richard A. Colla  (mike farrell falls in love with robert foxworth android. what's not to love????) Spirited Away (2001) (orginally: 千と千尋の神隠し) dir. Hayao Miyazaki (i was finally spurred to watch this because i found out david ogden stiers played kamaji in the english dub. ofc he was great but so was this movie, will have to rewatch in japanese one day coz i normally watch stuff in their original lang but DOS <33) Goodbye, Farewell and Amen (1983) dir. Alan Alda (i don't think i'll ever be emotionally prepared enough to rewatch this) Isle of Dogs (2018) dir. Wes Anderson (once again, never got the chance to watch this in cinemas. once again, a massive mistake on my part) Aliens (1986) dir. James Cameron (love this one a lot for its action, but i just preferred the psycological horror aspect of the first one more) Billy Elliot (2000) dir. Stephen Daldry (julie walters slayed in this film. also GOOD TRANS REP???? such a pleasant surprise) Room (2015) dir.  Lenny Abrahamson (fuck man this film was heartbreaking) Hidden Figures (2016) dir. Theodore Melfi (a film has literally never gone quicker for me in my whole life. it got to the end and i was like huh????? where's the rest of the film???? even though 2 hours had gone by lmaoo) The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) dir. Brian Henson (so happy to have finally watched this. this was very cosy, plus i love the muppets so much so it was easy for me to like this film)

i think parker tagged basically everyone i would have ahah so i'll just add @cannibalismpdf, @bjxhunnicutt, @80smen-fanclub, @bardengarde, @cuddleswinchester, @remyfire, @onekisstotakewithme but as parker said as well, feel free to do this even if i have missed anyone!! <33

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Justin Baragona at The Daily Beast:

Eric Bolling, who parted ways with Fox News in 2017 amid sexual misconduct allegations, is now leaving the wannabe Fox News competitor he joined in 2021. Pro-Trump cable news channel Newsmax confirmed on Friday that Bolling had departed the network, noting that they had “mutually agreed” to end his primetime program The Balance. According to a network spokesperson, a temporary replacement show will take its place starting Monday with a rotating slate of hosts until a new show is announced this summer. “Newsmax wishes Eric Bolling well in his future endeavors,” the spokesperson added. “The network looks forward to an exciting period this election season which will include our nightly news coverage with Greta Van Susteren, Rob Schmitt, Greg Kelly and Chris Plante.” In a statement to Mediaite, which first broke the news of Bolling’s departure, the MAGA personality suggested that his exit from Newsmax was due to another gig.

[...] During his Thursday night broadcast, which largely focused on raging against former President Donald Trump's felony conviction, Bolling did not note at any point that it would be his last show, nor did he issue a final farewell to viewers.

Right-wing blowhard Eric Bolling departs from Newsmax. His Eric Bolling: The Balance show last aired this week.

Where will Bolling end up next? Real America's Voice? Lindell TV? Stay tuned.

[druidx]

Her Countenance was Light - Chapter 50

CW: None AO3 ; Chapters: 01. 10. 20. 30. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49 Tag list (ask for +/-): @aquadestinyswriting, @hannah-heartstrings, @jacqueswriteblrlibrary, @babyblueetbaemonster @mr-orion

Her last week in the city flashes by in a torrent of arguments, which is not how she would have wished it.

She argues with her mother about what essential items are needed; Oakrose insists her eldest daughter needs to take a dozen things that Elo is quite happy to give away. She has to console her siblings, especially the younger ones, that this won't be forever – although it may seem like it to their young minds – and she will be back before they know it. She argues with Clayrmantle about her duties while in Iceland, and with Strucker about what her reports must contain, and then the two of them argue with each other, while the newly appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer looks on in bafflement. Elo walks away from that animated discussion with orders for weekly reports and a reminder – as if she could ever forget – that she is a representative for the city, so for the love of all that's good and holy she must stay out of Trouble. She promises to write the reports. Then there are arguments with Aster and Bonerot, discussions on how to manage this new partnership, with Farren put in place as a backstop to assure them Snotgrut will not turn into Icemight. And finally, she argues with Cobbleskater that she doesn't mind that he'll be Farren's temporary partner; he's done it before and she has faith he can do it again. He just has to remember he's an officer too, not a secretary, and not to let the others push him around. Yates and Monday jokingly argue about who gets her stationery, so Elo sweeps it all into a box and takes it down to the Supply Sergeant, before taking them out for one last round on her.

The only person Elo manages not to argue with – much – is Farren. After a frankly ludicrous amount of bottom-shelf booze, they have an earnest conversation about how they're both feeling. Elo opens up about exactly what Evie meant to her and finally allows herself to openly grieve her friend. Farren, for his part, accepts that despite how much he hates the idea of losing her again, right now a break from the city is something Elo needs.

After that, there's very little to do. Elo's already wrapped up her affairs and packing her footlocker hardly takes a day; she's acquired surprisingly little in the years she's been home. She has no need to worry about transport – that's being provided by Drakemar – and Elo finds herself itching to be away already.

When the morning of her departure comes, Elo stands on the breezy dock, her life in the crate at her feet, surrounded by those she cares about. She has to remind herself to be patient with all the tears and hugs and last-minute gifts; has to remind herself to absorb all the handshakes and advice and farewell kisses. A year is not a long time – but she knows in a week or so, when the novelty wears off and the homesickness sets in, these will be the moments she clings to. Still – her skin tingles and her heart thrums with anticipation. She feels coiled tight, a sprinter waiting for the starter pistol. Farren laughs and captures her animate hands as she tells him about the lands of ice and fire. Her mother smiles indulgently at the sparkle in her eyes and the way she twitches every few seconds to check on the approaching barge. There are more kisses, more hugs, more tears as her handler chivvies her onto the waiting barge and then she is waving to the receding dots of kith and kin.

It is not that she wishes to be rid of them, not that at all. It is only that the call of the road is strong – and she is fervid to see where it leads.

Fin

–––

Afterword

This story was originally written for National Novel Writing Month 2017, close to the end of the two worst years of my life. Since then things have gotten a lot better for me, which may be part of why I felt I could finally look back and edit this with some objectivity.

Finishing and publishing this story feels like closing a chapter of my life. Like I can finally stop looking over my shoulder at what happened then, and instead look forward, at what's going to happen next.

Thank you for reading. Health, wealth, and happiness to you, friend.

[veryqueermovies]

Happy Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month! Here is a short list of Queer Asian films to watch all year long!

Funeral Parade of Rose (1969)

Farewell My Concubine (1993)

The Wedding Banquet (1993)

Fire (1996)

Happy Together (1997)

Intimates (1997)

Drift (2000)

Lan Yu (2001)

Blue Gate Crossing (2002)

Tokyo Godfathers (2003)

The Gathering (2003)

Tropical Malady (2004)

Ethan Mao (2004)

Saving Face (2004)

I Don't Want To Sleep Alone (2006)

The World Unseen (2007)

Love of Siam (2007)

Drifting Flowers (2008)

Just Friends? (2009)

Yes Or No (2010)

Muli (2010)

The Dance of Two Left Feet (2011)

Two Weddings and a Funeral (2012)

Night Flight (2014)

Loev (2015)

Front Cover (2015)

Naanu Avanalla…Avalu (I Am Not A He…I Am A She) (2015)

Our Love Story (2016)

The Handmaiden (2016)

Spa Night (2016)

Die Beautiful (2016)

Fathers (2016)

A Bride For Rip Van Winkle (2016)

Taste Of Betel Nut (2017)

Present Perfect (2017)

Close-Knit (2017)

Malila, The Farewell Flower (2017) 

Billie & Emma (2018)

Fish Bones (2018)

Dead Ex (2018)

Our Body (2018)

Song Lang (2018)

Rainbow’s Sunset (2018)

Twilight's Kiss (2019)

How I Felt When I Saw That Girl (2019)

Goodbye Mother (2019)

Moonlit Winter (2019)

Monsoon (2019)

Super Deluxe (2019)

The Half Of It (2020)

Your Name Engraved Herein (2020)

I Told Sunset About You (2020)

A Distant Place (2020)

Midnight Swan (2020)

Wish You (2021)

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

Joyland (2022)

Cobalt Blue (2022)

[joandfriedrich]

Hi! I was wondering what’s your top 3 favorite Jo and Friedrich moments?

Only 3? Hmm, that's tricky, I am going to have to break it down from book to adaptations. Let me just say it right now, the best scene ever regarding these two is the Under the Umbrella, that is just a given, (one day I'll rank the best Under the Umbrella scene on screen) but let's look at some other moments that deserve love.

Book:

3: Sometime after Beth's death, Jo finds an old note that Friedrich wrote that reads "Wait for me, my friend. I may be a little late, but I shall surely come." And the narration shares that the original meaning has changed into something more tender, and her wishing that he would be here. Chapter 42, “All Alone”

2: After coming to Concord and meeting Jo's family, Friedrich returns to his room, pulls out a picture of Jo and kissed it, and the narration saying how if Jo saw this moment, her doubts of whether Friedrich loved her back would be squashed. Chapter 43 “Surprises”

1: Jo defending Friedrich from Laurie's dashing, calling him old, and her, at first confused since she doesn't consider him old and thought he was speaking of Mr. Laurence, calls Friedrich her best friend next to Laurie, and warns him not to "abuse my professor" (not the professor, but my professor). The early signs of her feelings were so clear there, even Laurie saw it before she did. Chapter 35 "Heartache"

Adaptations:

3: 2017 miniseries has a small but really sweet moment. When Jo is returning home, Friedrich sneaks into Jo's hands violets, which is a moment in the book, but it just says "she began her solitary journey with a pleasant memory of a familiar face smiling its farewell, a bunch of violets to keep her company", it didn't specify if it was Friedrich that gave them to her, so I like they made it clear. Bonus: according to the Victorian flower language, violets mean "faithfulness".

2: Utterly underrated is the 2018 modern day film, and it is a gold mine for Jo and Friedrich shippers, but one that I enjoy greatly, and it is their version of the Under the Umbrella scene (I know, I am cheating), but what makes me need to mention it here is that it's different from the book in the best way possible. Freddy visits her home after receiving her draft, and he gets to see the attic that defined her childhood. It's intimate, tender and romantic, with wonderful acting and chemistry from their actors.

1: The opera scene in the 1994 film. This was the best idea of an addition I have ever seen, and it really shows just how it could be that she would fall for Friedrich, and the brilliant acting and chemistry between Winona Ryder and Gabriel Byrne really seals the deal. If you watched this scene and didn't swoon, then I truly think there is something wrong with you.

Thank you for this ask, it was fun!

[vstridb]

HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i joined in early (?) 2017. i had a lucky blue smith fc but that lasted for a hot minute and i ghosted LMAO. then i reapplied with astrid and as a bernadotte, i had sooo much fun <3 i don't remember ANYTHING, i'm sorry i just don't. i think irenton was still in its slowburn era. i was still in high school, about to graduate. now i have a master's degree and i'm working, crazy stuff!!!!

which characters have you written over the years ?

astrid, uriah 1.0 and 2.0, vitaliya, verona, francisco / francois, arvid, a dudley o'shaughnessy fc ( for 1 sec before ghosting )... i think that's everyone ???

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

i had a lot of fun writing chimei. i think it was the height of hshq for me so it really sticks out to me. idk if the bernadottes as a whole count as a plotline ? i'm such a sucker for them. the NUMBER one plotline though would be the russian plots vitya was part of. i think it's a sign of a good plotline when a 60-year-old character's threads are interesting and have me logging in. i don't want to name every plot but i have to give a mention to italy's stuff. i picked up verona because there was a huge hole in the hshqverse since italy had no rep, and i figured i'd survive without any nephews and nieces but then you all came back and i was so overjoyed <3 verona's story became so much more fulfilling for me to write.

what about other people's plotlines ?

i know i was kinda involved but watching the basel thing evolve was super entertaining. i liked the whole thing from beginning to the end. as for smaller plots, i think the spanish fires fucking up first zhergi and the farnauld has to be my fave thing. it was so wild and i LOVED the fact that a 3 year-old-plotline still had an effect on current threads and in such a surprising way <3

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

astrid.... of course it's astrid. she was my age so i mirrored a lot of problems from my own life and made them hers. obviously they were exaggerated problems and shit but through astrid i got to write about emotions that were current to me. it was therapeutic and fun. i've loved all of my characters a lot though. vitya was so special because she was a character like no other. i loved creating her backstory and i had so much fun working on her psyche. a former USSR with a modest background, now an extremely influential duchess ? i loveeed it. it was so different and writing her inner monologue was so satisfying.

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

i think the beginning of chimei. there was something about it. it moved naturally. i really miss the time.

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

i'd speed up ilstrid so that we would actually get to write them getting together. i'll take the blame for ilstrid never really taking off lmao sry about that evy. i also wanna say that ilstrid is one of my fave ships because it was so easy and not-at-all-stressful to develop. it may have not reached its end, we didn't get a satisfying ending but i think it was so much fun to portray that kind of a love story. i wasn't a fan of friends-to-lovers trope but ilstrid is still one of my fave ships <3

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

ilstrid akfndsjkgbsnjg but also i think i would have enjoyed writing verona as the grand duchess of austria too. i do regret never applying for an austrian. it was something that "i'll do later" and never did it. it was partly because i didn't have a plotline for an austrian and couldn't naturally come up with one :(

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

when we brought the zulus. i don't think anything topped it. we made some really fucking shady and weird online chatroom to figure out the zulus' backstory and it was so much fun. i hadn't been that excited for something in a long time!!! and i think i'll have to mention all of the late nights of chatting with people. it was a big part of the hshq experience. we were all actual friends and i loved joking around. and i'll say it here now because this is so embarrassing but honestly i've always felt so appreciated when people have used the term naomi'd. it felt like a nickname fkjsgnjkgn and i'm glad i never upset anyone with my pushiness skdgngj

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i'll disappear, i'm sorry but i think it's inevitable. i've enjoyed the chats and like i said i've loved to joke around but i'm not a person who really does online relationships. hshq was an exception and it'll stay as one. if you guys ever start writing again, pls im me or @ me. if it's meant to be, i'll stumble upon the message at the right time <3

what else would you like to say ?

oh dear ! i have so much to say but not enough words to express my feelings ! seven years is a long time to be part of something and i never expected to remain here for such a long time. i've been allowed to write and plot and create complex and inspiring plotlines with you, and i think it's been exceptional. hshq was something else among rpgs. anyone who has been part of this, has to agree. i think it says a lot that even though the dash died, on the very day of closing, six or so members did the final task. and i have a feeling we'll see many 058 and 059 tasks this week. i've laughed a lot with you, i've stayed up until the little hours just to be part of the experience, i've cried at your writing... i think honesty hours will be the epitome of joy for me. they always made me laugh and the energy was unbeatable. hshq has given me so much joy and has taught me a lot ! about people, about writing, about the english language and photoshop !!! you guys have no fucking idea how grateful i am of this experience and i wish i could relive it --- and that's a really good sign. sometimes we are glad to reach the ending but i don't think that applies here. this spring will feel different and this week will feel horrible. i have to admit, i'm not exactly ready for this and it feels so silly because it was 'just rp' aksfdbjdsgs thank you everyone for these years, the late nights and the amazing experience <3

[its-not-a-pen]

fifth generation film recs!! it’s a longer list than i usually compile (and i’ve still got more i wish i could include), but i hope this is a good resource as you look for films to watch

THE CONTEXT

the red detachment of women (1961) - third gen

two stage sisters (1964) - third gen

the last emperor (1987) - for a sense of the international film scene these directors were entering into (also director bertolucci apparently consulted a number of fifth gen directors about the cultural revolution while making the film)

the king of masks (1996) - fourth gen

EARLY FILMS

yellow earth (1984) - zhang yimou was the cinematographer for this one! (chen kaige directed)

the black cannon incident (1985)

dislocation (1986)

the big parade (1986) - i haven’t actually watched this one yet but it’s considered an important early work

red sorghum (1987)

ju dou (1990)

life on a string (1991)

raise the red lantern (1991)

farewell my concubine (1993)

to live (1994)

not one less (1999)

the road home (1999)

LATER FILMS

the emperor and the assassin (1998)

happy times (2000)

hero (2002)

together (2002)

house of flying daggers (2004)

curse of the golden flower (2006)

the founding of a republic (2009)

a woman, a gun, and a noodle shop (2009) - an adaptation of blood simple (1984), which i would recommend you watch first

sacrifice (2010) - a reimagining of the orphan of zhao, which i recommend you’re familiar with first

coming home (2014)

legend of the demon cat (2017)

shadow (2018)

the battle at lake changjin (2021) - also haven’t gotten around to watching this one, but like i know i ought to

BONUS FILMS

code name: cugar (1989) - it’s bad

the great wall (2016) - also bad. BUT it’s got pedro pascal

hope there are some films here you like!

WOW that was fast! Thank you so much this is such a great list!

[thesinglesjukebox]

SEVDALIZA FT. PABLLO VITTAR & YSEULT - "ALIBI"

In April 2017, [Yseult] worked in a writing seminar for the Black Eyed Peas, organised by Polydor, after which she decided to end her contract with the label later that year."

[7.43]

Harlan Talib Ockey: Sevdaliza sounding ethereal, a viscerally satisfying reggaeton drop, both Pabllo Vittar and Yseult doing an operatic Kate Bush impression. What’s not to like? [8]

Ian Mathers: Always a bold move to work with two other singers who just outsing you on your own track, but the whole of this works well enough that it comes across more like confidence and good taste. [8]

Leah Isobel: Sevdaliza's music is intent in its solemnity, so even when she throws of our most cartoonishly delightful popstars on a baile funk beat, the end result still feels startlingly corseted. I like the way she delivers the song's title as a farewell and the way her melodies embroider the vworps and zwooms of the synth bass, but there's a classical sort of prettiness here that I wish she'd scuff up a little. [7]

Katherine St. Asaph: The operatic thrills and eclecticism mostly make up for the plodding chorus. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: Katherine St. Asaph once compared Sevdaliza to Tracey Thorn, remarking on the richness of their voices as well as the woo that one would have to push through in order to enjoy the music. Yseult and Vittar, both of whom are sterling vocalists, strain to cut above the noise here. Vittar swings boldly for the fences in the first and last two lines of the intro and the bridge to grab the listener by the hand and thrust them into the chorus, while Yseult, a Nouvelle Star graduate with a sterling soprano, flutters above the drumwork by Mucky and Mathias Janmaat, who suffocate the Totó la Momposina sample under dimming filters to not overshadow the lead artist. Sevdaliza's voice, a low, girded drawl, thrives in this environment amid the heavy rhythmic swing of the drum programming, and she manages to make some of her most woo-woo lyrics ripple through the mix. [8]

Jonathan Bradley: There’s more melodrama in the spiky synth riff than anything else, though our three stars give it their best with lines like "when was the last time you felt safe in the dark?" and "this world was never meant for a woman’s heart." Pabllo Vittar’s warbled bridge is certainly overwrought, and a wobbly drill-adjacent bass tugs us deeper, but I never feel like we fall through the veil into the world these three have constructed for themselves. [5]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Takes me back to a place when early 2000s pop music took itself way too seriously, and when the stakes were always inexplicably “ride or die.” “Alibi” is the sexiest and deadliest thing I’ve heard this year, in three languages.  [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[julesgomery]

Riverdale: The Sweet Hereafter

"Riverdale" was a show I watched back in 2017. Everyone I knew was watching the show at that time. I started watching it during secondary school when, as I mentioned, everyone was into it. If someone wasn't watching, you would probably hear, "You must watch this iconic media piece." Okay, that's a bit far-fetched, but someone would recommend it if you were into shows like "The Vampire Diaries" or "Pretty Little Liars." Both of those shows had ended, and "Riverdale" stepped in to provide a sense of comfort—a dark show with a big mystery. That was the formula for almost every teen TV show. It filled a void for those of us who had just finished those shows and introduced us to iconic characters: Archie Andrews, the all-American teenager; Betty Cooper, the girl next door; Jughead Jones (skip); Veronica Lodge, the she-wolf of Wall Street and Cheryl Blossom, the red-haired diva.

With the show having 13 episodes and being released weekly on Netflix, it gained a cult following in my school. Coming into school, when the last few episodes aired, I heard phrases like "Bughead forever" or "Barchie forever." It was a debate, and I was Team Barchie, but that's a story for another time. Still, the show stood on its own, with people creating their own Riverdale fan accounts and collecting memorabilia. The show could do no harm...

However, it did; yes, I still enjoyed it. I remained invested. I watched the slow decline of the show in my school. It became so far-fetched that even the die-hard season one fan began to fade; no one was watching anymore, and the sense of community was gone. People no longer praised the show for its stylistic choices; instead, they questioned the writing itself. Remember that moment when Archie's retort to a character dropping out of high school for drug dealing was, "That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football"? It was jarring, to say the least.

Riverdale became notorious for continually one-upping itself as if unpredictability was its sole mission. Who could have predicted discussions about tickling fetishes involving high school students? Payment aside, it was still an eyebrow-raising narrative choice. This was the show's identity – a whirlwind from steamy encounters to preppy murders, cults, and bombs. At the same time, characters managed to attend school and perform musicals such as Carrie, Heathers, Hedwig, and you won't believe this: The American Psycho the Musical… Oh yes, it exists, and pursue higher education.

The show recently ended with an unexpected detour into the 1950s – an era fraught with its own set of questions considering the show's approach to sensitive issues. How did it all unfold? The characters gained superpowers through an open door in an alternate universe, setting the stage for a dramatic series of events. As Season Five drew close, Cheryl stumbled upon the chilling account of her ancestor's demise and unwittingly triggered a spell. Meanwhile, Archie and Betty found themselves in a passionate tryst just as a bomb detonated underneath them. The convergence of these chaotic elements led to a counter spell, and I'll leave it to you to experience the madness firsthand. Go watch the show, please… 

The show ended with everything I wished for; it's everything I wanted an ending. I knew there wouldn't be a big bad or something catching my eye for another season. The tale had reached its final chapter. As the curtain fell on Riverdale, I saw a farewell to beloved characters and the town itself, a nostalgic journey from past to present, and now the vacant town. It was something sweet; it was bite-sized. There will always be a question from others about why I hold this show near my heart. It's because it was there for every moment of my life. The show ran for six years! When I was in college, I was still watching the episodes. My uncle and I were big Archie Comics fans. If you didn't know, Riverdale is based loosely…very loosely to the Archie Comics, and my uncle would have given me a comic every time I visited, every birthday, and every Christmas. Riverdale wasn't his cup of his, but it was mine. I catch myself rephrasing dialogue while I rewatch the show.

Goodbye Riverdale

[nerdarena2]

From Logan to Wolverine: Hugh Jackman’s Iconic Return to the Claws!!

Hugh Jackman’s portrayal of Wolverine is nothing short of legendary, a role that has not only defined his career but also become a cornerstone of superhero cinema. For nearly two decades, Jackman brought the feral and fiercely charismatic character to life, earning critical acclaim and a massive fan following. With his surprise return to the role after 2017’s Logan, which was believed to be his final appearance as Wolverine, fans worldwide are eager to see the iconic actor back in action. But what makes Hugh Jackman’s return as Wolverine so monumental? Let’s take a look at his journey, from Logan to his much-anticipated comeback.

The End of an Era: Logan and Wolverine’s Farewell : When Hugh Jackman first donned the adamantium claws in 2000’s X-Men, few could have predicted the impact his portrayal of Wolverine would have. Over the years, Jackman’s rugged charm and dedication to the role transformed Wolverine from a fan-favorite comic character into a cinematic icon. Through various films in the X-Men series, Wolverine evolved from a loner with a troubled past into a more complex, emotionally rich character, culminating in his swan song, Logan (2017). Logan was not just a superhero movie; it was a gritty, grounded narrative about a broken man facing his own mortality. Jackman’s performance in Logan was raw and poignant, and it offered a fitting, emotional conclusion to Wolverine’s journey. The film was universally praised and many fans considered it the perfect sendoff for both Jackman and the character. The general consensus was that Wolverine’s story had come to a powerful close—until now.

Hugh Jackman’s Unexpected Return as Wolverine : In a move that shocked and thrilled fans, Hugh Jackman announced that he would be reprising his role as Wolverine in the upcoming Deadpool 3 alongside Ryan Reynolds. The news sent waves through the superhero community and reignited discussions about Wolverine’s future in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). Given that Jackman had expressed that Logan would be his final outing as Wolverine, his return came as a surprise to many. But why would Jackman decide to return to the claws after such a perfect farewell? One possible reason for Jackman’s return could be the opportunity to explore Wolverine in a different light. Deadpool, with its irreverent humor and self-aware tone, offers a fresh environment for the character, blending action with comedic elements. The dynamic between Deadpool and Wolverine is one that fans have longed to see, given their shared history in the comics and previous on-screen encounters (however brief) in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Prime Characters Of The Deadpool & Wolverine :

Below are some of the prime characters of the deadpool & wolverine you should not miss keeping at your shelf or work station :

Wolverine :

Unleash the power of your favorite mutant with the ZD Toys Deadpool and Wolverine Yellow Suit Action Figure from NerdArena. This detailed action figure features Wolverine in his iconic yellow suit, ready for battle alongside or against Deadpool. Perfect for collectors and fans of the X-Men universe, this figure boasts high-quality craftsmanship, intricate detailing, and dynamic posing options. Add a touch of nostalgia to your collection with this Wolverine action figure and bring home a piece of Marvel history today! If you are a deadpool & wolverine fan and you wish to purchase these marvel figurines india then you can find them at marvel collectibles india.

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Apart from the above marvel figuirines, dc action figures or dc superhero merchandies, there are many other action figures you can explore. If you are looking out for such action figures then Nerd Arena is a one-stop solution for such kinds of action figures.

To Know More    https://nerdarena.in/blogs/artists-corner/from-logan-to-wolverine-hugh-jackman-s-iconic-return-to-the-claws

[yoandri]

@/thestartreks,

It still hurts me to say this but alright I’ll give up. I never thought it’d come to this. I actually didn’t even know we weren’t friends until I reworked my tumblr in 2017. I checked you tag and I didn’t know I broke your heart. Honestly I am sorry for what I did. I wanted you to know I always talked highly about you. I even wished I could’ve hugged you whenever I wanted as before but you were away. I met a girl who liked Star Trek too in college and I told her all about you. I even asked her for a hug because I missed you so much. I wasn’t able to tell you that but I want to tell you how much you mean to me. You were my best friend. My confidant. My Boobear.

I met you back when we started Highschool in 7th period. I met you because we were both on Tumblr and liked One Direction. I never told you but I got more into them because of you and that friendship. I used to confuse Liam’s and Niall’s last names all the time at first. So much that I probably still have them tagged with each other’s last name lol on here some where. But what I am getting at is that you and One Direction have this hold of who I am. Because you mattered the world to me. Both you and the boys.

So seeing how you never responded to me I assumed you were busy as the years went by. Then it was 10 years of One Direction and I messaged you about it. I understood we stopped talking but I still feel compelled to tell you things because you’re my Boobear. I knew then and after no response or acknowledgement that we weren’t close. That we were complete strangers. I would often check on you and smile but stand my place.

Which brings me to today or well the past several days. We lost Liam. A big part of what connected us in our friendship. Losing him made me realize that I have to let you go finally. Our friendship is gone. I was holding onto something that doesn’t even exist anymore which breaks my heart because you mattered so much to me. I am writing this after that last message I sent you to let you know that I will entrust this friendship I held onto for so many years to Liam. I will let you go and let that friendship lay to bed with Liam Payne.

Thank you for the memories and being my best friend but especially being the Louis to my Harry. Now I’m a huge Louie and Swiftie. Something you probably were back then. I love you and this is my goodbye to you. I doubt you’ll ever see this either but…

Farewell Brianda

[amberswilddreams]

home sweet home🫶

pairing : mark feehily x fem!sister reader

summary : delilah feehily had been stationed in america for the last seven years as a training paramedic. she is also mark's younger sister and hasn't seen him during those seven years. the last time she had seen her brother was just after it had been announced that westlife was ending and now they were reuniting again. since then, more westlife babies had been born and so many things that delilah had missed had happened. so, with the help of the rest of the westlife family, she surprised her older brother. 

warnings : none, just a sweet brother/sister moment of mark getting surprised by his sister coming home after training to be a paramedic in america for the last seven years, swearing, happy crying and just some sweet reunions

a/n : a couple of flashbacks will be in this and written in italics like always, even though it's happy, it'll be written in lowercase and i'm gonna apologise once again for the influx of depressing one-shots so i hope this makes you forgive me! 

present time | mark's pov 

chilling in my dressing room before a concert was always the thing that i did during the years in westlife and it was something i even did now, during the reunion tour. except for the occasional run-in from one of the children, it was quite quiet which led me to find an old message between me and my younger sister. i tilted my head in confusion but, i sat in my chair properly, my feet off of the desk, and read the message from delilah. 

delilah 

hey, marky. i know we haven't spoken in ages, since i left being the "ages" but, i just wanted to text you to let you know i love you, i miss and i am so proud of you. 

it makes me so excited that westlife are reuniting and i only wish that i could be there to see it! i know you and the lads will smash it out of the park! love you! 

hey delilah, i miss you too and i love you too. and we're all excited to be back together again. we also wish you could be here! kian now has another two boys, nicky now has a little girl and, as you would know, cailean and i are about to become dads ourselves! see you soon, whenever that is!  

i really am sorry that i can't be there. and i know about kian's new one, cobi and i also know about nicky's girl. and obviously, i know about you and cailean's surrogacy journey! congratulations and biggest hugs to you guys! okay, i need to go but, we can talk later. i love you marky and stay safe xx

read

i felt my eyes water as i reread these messages. especially when i noticed that these dates dated back to around, 2017ish when cobi, kian's youngest had just been born and zekey and gia were no longer the new westlife babies anymore. my heart broke as i realised i didn't even respond to delilah's last message she sent me back in 2017, i only read it and never responded. even though it was a very short conversation, it was still a nice conversation to have with my sister as i hadn't talked to her at that point in a couple of years. and that reason is that delilah, basically the day after westlife had their final concert, she was over in america as a training paramedic, travelling through all the places to teach families and young kids about the importance of first aid. and those last two farewell shows at croke park being the last time me and my bandmates had seen her before she jet-setted off.

"you alright, marky?" i suddenly look up to notice kian, had snuck his way into my dressing room and joined me, resting himself against the table as i smiled at him, nodding my head 

"yeah, i'm alright kino, just...thinking..." i trailed off as i placed my phone down, forgetting to turn it off as kian catches a glimpse of what i was looking at 

"...you miss delilah don't you?" kian softly responded as we both caught eye contact as i nodded my head 

"yeah, i do. i don't even know how i came past that conversation, i must have been absentmindedly scrolling through the messages...wow, two years ago we had that conversation..." i trail off, looking back down at the date we had that small conversation, realising ultimately that it was almost three years ago, not two 

"...well, have you tried calling her?" kian sincerely questions as i sit up properly again as i tilt my head - have i? 

"i...i don't think i have..." i space out for a second until i bring myself back into reality as kian places a soft touch on my shoulder 

"...well, when was the last time you��tried calling her?" kian asked, pulling himself back to his original position as i relax my shoulders down as i think properly 

"i think the last time i tried calling her was a week after the farewell tour when she had been gone for maybe a little close to a week at that point..." i was shocked at myself as those words came out my mouth, kian giving me a comforting smile 

"...well, do you maybe want to try calling her then? i'm sure it won't hurt to try," kian whispered, giving me a small smile as he then climbed off the table leaving me to call her. however, it kind of scared me to call delilah 

"i guess so..." i mumbled as kian gave me one last smile before it was just me left in my dressing room again 

well, here i go. i decided that i'd try to call delilah for the first time in threeish years. it gave me anxiety hearing the phone call ring as for all i knew, maybe she forgot about me due to how much of a workaholic she was when it came to her job as a paramedic. maybe that's why she never came home when she had the chance to... because she was too focused on her job she forgot about me. i mean, it sounds plausible i guess. 

"hey, it's delilah..."

"...delilah i miss--" 

"--sorry that i couldn't be there to pick up the phone and talk to you. i'm most likely either in the shower jamming to westlife, ssh don't tell mark, i'm at work or i am purposefully ignoring you. please leave a message and i'll get to you as soon as i possibly can. love you so much to whoever has rung me and i'm sorry for not picking up, okay, bye-bye!" 

my heart broke as i heard her voicemail. she still hadn't updated it from the day she first made it, at the airport before she was about to leave for america after the final croke park show back in 2012. i remember holding in my giggles as she made it. as soon as the recording stopped, i burst out into laughter and caused the entire airport to stare at us. delilah also finding the funny in the situation. i was then interrupted by the sudden beep meant for my message. 

*beep*

i jolted as i then spoke up, giving my message to delilah. my voice shaky and a little bit teary as i sniffled. 

"...hey...delilah, it's been a while since we last spoke. around three years to be exact but um, i...i just wanted to ring in to check on you considering it's been seven years or so since you've been in america and i was just wondering how you're going. i hope you're staying safe and, please come home soon, i love you and i miss you loads, okay, umm, please call me back when you're able to listen to this, okay, bye."  

i gulped as i ended the call, placing my phone back down on the table that kian was sitting on earlier. i then moved out of my seat and rested against the wall, sliding down it as i felt as though i was going to start crying. thankful my door was closed and locked so no one, even the kids, could come in. 

five minutes later | kian's pov 

since leaving mark to attempt in ringing delilah, his younger sister who has been a training paramedic in america for the last seven or so years, i was slightly worried about leaving him alone. especially considering it's been around three years since they last communicated and we were hours, if not minutes away from performing a concert for our reunion. 

i was walking back down the hallway to my dressing room when i heard what sounded like soft cries. it piqued my interest as mark's dressing room was always on a diagonal from mine. i softly knocked on the door, before hearing a click, letting me know the door was just unlocked as i walked in, closing the door behind me straight away. 

he was resting against the wall, no longer sitting near his vanity desk and my heart broke, "...mark, what's wrong?" i softly questioned, sliding down the wall next to mark as he slowly looked over towards me 

"she...she didn't answer, it was just her voicemail," mark whispered as my heart shattered for him 

"oh, marky, i am so sorry. did you try again?" i asked as i brought his fragile but taller frame into my smaller one as i felt his head shake against my shoulders 

"no," he mumbled against my shoulder as i bit my lip, not knowing what else to do 

"why not?" i simply respond as mark sniffles 

"hearing her voicemail from seven years ago makes me miss her even more...since that's the last time i heard her speak so i don't even know if she still sounds like that..." he trails off as i nod my head - yeah, i get the same feeling when i miss my own mum and i try to ring her and it goes to voicemail, making me not want to try again even though i know her voice wouldn't have changed that much 

"that's fair. have you gotten in contact with her superintendent to make sure she's okay?" i questioned as i remembered that as a group, we had talked about it, all wanting to stay in the loop about delilah 

"yeah but, they...they haven't really been giving me any updates recently so i don't even know what's going on at their end right now," he mumbles as i nod my head 

"that's not fun but i'm sure delilah isn't ignoring you on purpose. just, be as positive as you can and just know that one day, delilah will have to come home since she wasn't even meant to be in america and with this job for this long anyway," i smirk as mark gives me a little smirk back which makes me happy, we all hated to see mark upset 

i then decided to give mark a hug before leaving him on his own, knowing he needed it this time and now, i knew he'd be okay. 

seven years ago | mark's pov

i had never hated anything more than what was happening right now, and last night, westlife just ended forever. right now, my younger sister delilah was getting ready for her new job as a training paramedic somewhere in america. i say "somewhere" because i completely zoned out as soon as it was mentioned that delilah was being sent away in the first place, i just had the impression that she'd be sent to england. i didn't want to hear about the fact that she'd be across a whole damn ocean, six or so hours away. and i'd rather not be told that she's that far away from me that if anything was to go wrong, i can't just be there in an hour or two. 

"...come on markus, say goodbye to your sister as she'll be gone for a couple of years before you can speak to her again. don't be moody, please," dad kindly spoke as i rolled my eyes, i sluggishly moved off the airport seat, uncrossed my arms and slowly walked over to delilah who was waiting with her arms open for a hug - to which she knew i could never say no to 

"fine, but don't blame me when i yell at you every other day for not allowing me to be an hour away from delilah just in case she gets injured because it won't be my fault!" i growl out, half of it mumbled by delilah's tight squeeze as i rested in her hug, mum and dad shaking their heads at me in unapproving ways 

"oh please, mark, that's never going to happen, buddy! i won't let it happen!" delilah whispers as dad, mum, our brothers and the westlife family had left the two of us alone 

"and how in god's name are you so sure of that delilah grace, huh?" i respond, with a full-on passive-aggressive attitude as she rolls her eyes, squeezing me tighter as she tries to prove her point 

"i'm so sure of that markus michael patrick because i was trained exceptionally well and there is no way in hell or god's name that i'm leaving you on your own! nah-uh, not until i surprise you at one of your concerts, whether that's when westlife reunites or at one of your solo shows then i'm leaving you, even then, i'll always be here for you, okay?" delilah roughhoused me, in the airport yes, as she tried to convince me, leaving me to roll my eyes this time 

"nah-uh, i'm still not letting you leave, nope! nope, nope, nope, NOPE!" i growl as i squeeze delilah even tighter than before as she softly chuckles, scuffing my hair up, to which i had no care about really 

"i hate to burst your imaginative bubble markus but, i'm still leaving. i have to otherwise i could be fined a lot of money for not going..." delilah trails off as she tries to remove herself from my grip, to which i refuse and hug her tighter 

"...i.don't.care! i'd rather have to help pay for your fines for not leaving to work in america as a stupid paramedic than be told that you got injured or died in a fucking school shooting over the phone whilst i'm potentially on stage at a solo gig and then having to cry my eyes out at your funeral two months later when they finally bring your body home!" i growl, still mad that mum and dad even allowed delilah to consider her choosing this weird training paramedic job in america, delilah sighs loudly as she brings her arms back around my torso, hugging me even tighter 

"i'm sorry mark but, i do care. and, whilst i also don't want you guys to get a call saying i died or got injured in america and wait two months for my fancy-schmancy funeral, i'm willing to do this job in america if it means i'm teaching life-saving skills. i don't want to argue with you, i know you don't either so, be reasonable and let me leave," delilah says in a matter-of-fact way as i roll my eyes again, a small whine leaving my mouth as if i was about to have a full-on tantrum, to which, i most likely was, in a public airport with my now former bandmates behind me and the rest of my family 

"why are you so proud of this job? i'd rather you be on tour with me!" i whine, smacking my head on delilah's shoulder as she chuckles 

"i'm proud because i've always been proud of everything i do and that includes my job as a training paramedic in america. and you know i'd love to go on tour with you but, i can't so, it looks as though you're just going to have to survive with me being away in a different country to you," delilah said with a smile as we both simultaneously squeezed each other, causing us to both squeal and giggle 

"well, if i have to let you leave then, when will i talk to you next?" i question, pulling back out of the hug as delilah grabs ahold of my hand 

"umm, i think i have a couple of days where i have off that i can ring and communicate with those i didn't get to farewell but, yeah, i think that's the next time i can talk to you," delilah smiles which makes me smile, making me feel slightly better 

"okay, nice. when will i be able to see you again? like, when will you be able to come home?" i then ask as i entertain myself by fiddling around with delilah's fingers which were intertwined with mine 

"it...it'll be soon i'm sure mark," delilah smiles, pulling me into another quick hug before grabbing my hand again as i nod my head sadly 

"how soon is soon?" i ask with a shake in my voice, looking up at the clock knowing her flight was about to be called to board soon 

"mark soon will be as soon as i am able to leave. i promise, now, i really need to leave, my plane's about to board!" delilah said as i pouted and my eyes grew sad as i huffed loudly 

"ok, but promise me you'll come home safely, please?" i whimper my voice breaking as delilah smiles softly 

"i promise mark, but, i gotta go," she whispers as she gives me one last hug before giving her last hugs to everyone else 

okay, maybe what i said before was mean, i am awfully proud of delilah that she chose this as her job. it was wrong of me to say that i'm mad at mum and dad for allowing her to consider and then choose it eventually. i then saw my former bandmates, kian, nicky and shane give their final hugs and farewells to delilah. watching that whilst it broke my heart, also made it feel warm that even though i'd no longer see those three every day, i could still pick up my phone and call them without hesitation and i'd do the same for them. even though i was farewelling two major things in my life, westlife and my younger sister, i knew that i would eventually be okay again. 

we then watched on as delilah and her fellow training paramedics boarded the plane. we waved, cheered, and hollered, making the biggest scene of all time as she then vanished into the plane where it became silent again. 

"...well, now she's gone mark," dad came up from behind me, wrapping his arm around my back, i huffed and rolled my eyes 

"thanks for reminding me dad, it isn't like i wasn't watching it happen," i huff as dad pulls me down to sit on the airport floor with him - knowing something was wrong 

"okay markus, what's wrong? you've been like this all day, why can't you be proud of your younger sister like she's proud of you?" dad muttered kindly as my lips started to tremble 

"i am proud of her dad it's just--"

"--it's hard to see her go after you've watched westlife go?" he interrupts as i nod my head, a small whimper coming out of my mouth, dad's face softens, noticing the tears welling in my eyes and pulls me into his lap, his knees bracing my head 

"mhm," i mumble as i feel the tears pool in my eyes as dad softly ruffles his fingers through my hair 

"oh, mark, it's okay son," dad whispers as i feel a tear stream down my cheek onto dad's knee as i attempt to wipe it away whilst laying awkwardly on the airport floor halfway on my dad's lap 

"no, it's not," i whimper, covering my mouth with my arm that rested across dad's lap so my whimpering would be quieter 

"fine, i'll rephrase my answer *mark softly chuckles* it will be okay mark, delilah will be okay. she's going to come home and she'll message and call us when she's able to, okay? you've got nothing else to worry about other than what you're going to do now that westlife's finished, whether that's you going into the studio to write some new material or going on holiday, doesn't matter, okay?" dad smiled as he continued combing his fingers through my hair which was starting to really calm me down 

"thanks, dad," i mumble with a small smile on my lips as i look up to see him also smiling 

"no worries mark, i get how you're feeling. trust me, i wasn't too rapt about delilah being a training paramedic in america either but, i made her promise me she would come home and, she promised. i'm holding on to that promise so if she breaks it, i'll never forget it and i would've wished i made her come home when i had the power to, but, right now, i've made peace with her decision and, i'm proud of her," dad was always so wise and inspirational and it made me giggle 

"that's a fair deal. anyway, how are the westlife kids taking this? nicole especially since she adores her aunty delilah," i ponder as i just realise, i've only really interacted with my immediate family, not with the westlife lads or their kids and partners 

"that's a good question, mark, last i saw of her her dad was trying to calm her down as she wasn't taking the thought of aunty delilah leaving well either," dad said, shrugging his shoulders as i awkwardly nodded my head that still rested on his lap 

"aw, i hope she's okay," i mumble softly, feeling the exact same way as little nicole 

"i'm sure she is. but maybe she just needs her uncle marky to give her a hug to make her feel a little bit better," dad coaxes me to get up as i giggle softly 

"okay, fine, i'll go find her!" i giggle as i lift my head up off dad's lap, giving him a hug as i then walk over to shane, his wife gillian and their three kids, noticing the upset little nicole straight away 

present time | mark's pov

after maybe about five minutes of just thinking and allowing myself to go back to that day seven odd years ago, i could smile again. after being so upset that i wasn't just losing one thing in my life, westlife or delilah, but both at the same time, it didn't make me so upset anymore because westlife had since reunited. even though delilah hadn't come home yet and i still miss her all the time, i remembered that she's just working hard all the time to give out life-saving first aid skills and at some stage, she'll come home. 

"...mark, we're on stage in five," kian calls out, popping his head into my dressing room as i giggle 

"thanks kino, be there shortly," i giggle as kian also giggles, hesitating to move out of the way 

giggling, i ask him to move, "oh my god, move, kian! i can't leave my dressing room with you standing right there!" i chuckle as kian smiles, apologies and leaves quickly leaving me slightly confused 

twenty-ish minutes ago | delilah's pov

trying to hold in my laughter was the hardest thing ever, especially watching kian forget to leave after telling mark that it was five minutes to stage. little did mark know, after seven and a bit years, i was finally retiring from my job as a training paramedic and decided to relocate back home to sligo, ireland. with my transfer back to the sligo ambulance service, and some good-looking time off, i'd be able to go on the road with westlife during their reunion tour and be there for the moment that mark and his partner cailean become fathers to their baby. 

i had snuck into the aviva stadium, in dublin pretty quickly, out of my uniform completely and just waiting for the right moment to surprise mark, whether that's just before he goes on stage or whilst he's on stage with the boys, during a song. 

kian, nicky and shane hugged me tightly as we waited for the right time but had a quiet conversation as we all waited for mark to leave his dressing room for the five minutes to stage call. 

after asking and catching up with the lads about the reunion and how they've all been, including mark, we then mentioned how we think he was going to react to me finally being home. 

"...honestly, i genuinely think mark's going to freak when he sees you, delilah..." kian smiles, his arms crossed over as nicky rolls his eyes before jumping in

"...he's not just going to freak, kino, he's going to cry when he sees you, delilah!" nicky says dramatically as we all giggle, especially when kian's annoyed face makes an appearance 

"and as i was going to say before nicky interrupted me, he is absolutely going to lose his head when he sees you, he is absolutely going to cry. i mean, seven years, like, no sir, i couldn't even do that, especially without contact, nah-uh, nope, i struggled not being able to talk to koa and jodi when i did i'm a celebrity *giggles*," kian huffed as we all giggled as we all agreed 

"yeah, i couldn't do this job again, especially in a different country for seven years without breaks," i mutter with a shake of my head as we all have another group hug

present day | kian's pov 

the lads and me were now performing on stage and getting ready to surprise the absolute crap out of mark. delilah, his younger sister as we all know, just came back from a seven-year paramedic job in america. the first time she's been home and seen mark since she left back in 2012 and, he has got no clue whatsoever and is absolutely clueless about it. 

we were laughing, singing, and having an absolute ball when i watched carefully for the moment that delilah would walk on stage for the surprise. i suddenly received the all-clear from louis, our manager so i then gave the signal to delilah and, she walked right onto stage. 

thankfully, mark had just finished his solo in flying without wings so it was basically the end of the song, the lights, however, hadn't dimmed as delilah came up behind her brother and wrapped her arms around her brother's neck, giving him a hug. 

watching the confusion on his face was priceless as he then turned around and boom, i was basically a mess straight away, "delilah? what the fuck are you doing here?" mark was in so much shock that it was as though he was in a different universe completely 

"did you forget the promise we made to each other seven years ago?" delilah giggled as the crowd along with me and the lads erupted into cheers as we watch the siblings pull each other in for a hug 

"oh my god, you...you're home!" mark quickly and shakily hands me his microphone and pulls his sister in for a proper hug as tears fill his eyes 

"home sweet home, marky!" she whispered back as me, shane and nicky watched on as the siblings reunited after seven long years 

"that promise was from seven fucking years ago!" mark cried out as he smacked her which made everyone tearfully laugh now that almost everyone was in tears at this point 

"still didn't break it, mark! i'm here, am i not? now, get back to work, you and the lads have a concert to finish!" delilah giggled as mark rolled his eyes, reluctantly moving from the hug to let nicky, me and shane give her hugs again even though we were the planners of the surprise 

"so, for those who are not aware, this is delilah, mark's younger sister and she has been away in america for the last seven years as a training paramedic. where in which she has been basically going around from state to state teaching and training underfunded and young kids very important and life-saving first aid skills. she left the day after we had our final farewell gig back at croke park all the way back in 2012 which feels like forever ago but was indeed seven years ago. and only today has she returned so, we decided that after we were told by a little birdy that she was coming home that we'd plan this entire surprise for mark," i explained, smiling tearfully as mark smiled back

the crowd screamed as mark went to speak again, "awe, thanks for the surprise guys! very sweet of you, thank you!" mark smiles, leaning into me to thank me as he then hugs his sister again  

"no problem, if we could, we'd do it all over again," delilah called out making all of us laugh 

delilah had then left the stage so we could finish the concert which went amazing, no mistakes, no nothing, just pure happiness and dedication to our concert. then, at the end of the concert, i watched as the brother and sister spent more time together, it was the sweetest thing and that wasn't me just saying that. i would genuinely do this surprise all over again just to see that shocked look on mark's face when he realised it was delilah that had surprised him. 

but, the best part of overhearing that conversation was mark's reaction when delilah told him she'd be joining us for the rest of the uk and irish tour.

fin

told y'all i love homecoming fics! but honestly, i really do love this fic and how i wrote this!

© amberswilddreams, 2024