#wish tumblr would keep the notif up until i either answer or delete

[sea-buns]

same anon who had the dorym convention story here!! i found an old note i wrote in my notes app about some things robbie said at the panel that i forgot about and thought were funny so i'm sharing them:

robbie said if he had to pick between 1k cockroaches in his attic or a person he would pick taliesin??? said to a molly cosplayer

“i wanted to make a character more annoying to cosplay than molly”

I think we'd all choose Taliesin for anything but idk if I'd consider him equal to 1k roaches T_T

Love that he played dnd for the first time with these folks and now he's min-maxing the Cosplay Nightmare Meter. Molly could only DREAM of these levels of slut

Overall sounds like he was reallyyyy on one in this panel! Glad you were able to return with unhinged tidings <3

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[memoriashell]

to you, who i write for

Characters / Pairing: Soriku; though it really just reads as Riku angst / pining. 

crossposted on ao3

Notes: This was the first thing I wrote post KH3 and I think I’m okay with putting it out at this point. So yes, warning for KH3 spoilers.

The formatting of this fic is a little weird quite frankly, because it’s a ( mostly ) texting based fic. I used strikethrough at points to indicate messages that were deleted / unsent, but since I know strikethrough can be finicky on some devices ( tumblr mobile ), so I’ve gone ahead and also italicized those parts as well.

There are also some obvious typos! Mostly for a touch of realism because Riku absolutely accidentally typos shit. There are other reasons that I hope are obvious when reading it!

Summary: Riku keeps sending messages because he doesn’t know how else to cope.

( somehow, i hope these words reach you )

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry I haven’t texted back in a while.

[ Text : Sora ] We’ve been busy. Not that that’s any excuse.

I’m sure you’ve been too busy to notice.

[ Text : Sora ] Mickey said to tell you he sends his best wishes.

Let me knwo if you need anything.

It’s an admittedly bad habit he’s gotten into, writing up messages that he won’t send. Riku means to cut off the urge before it become a habit, but here he is, still typing up messages for him and him alone.

It’s kind of therapeutic, to write up the things that he can’t really find the words to say aloud— and one would say he should invest in a journal before he accidentally sends a text he does not mean to, but he doesn’t think it’d be quite the same. Doesn’t simulate the same kind of conversation, even if that means a few things that he doesn’t mean to say slip through.

( If it were just anyone he was sending these messages to, Riku knows he might have more than a few reservations— but it’s Sora, who never judges him, even if there are more than a few things he would like to keep secret for him ).

So he continues typing up messages to get things off his chest, and if Sora finds it annoying that he spends more time typing up theoretical conversations than actually having them, he never says anything about it. Probably because Sora only understands how to use their gummiphones half the time to begin with.

Of course, he does send actual messages too, even if perhaps less frequently. Short little blurbs when he can tell that by the increasing frequency in his messages that Sora is worried ( and as bad as Riku is at saying what he wants, he can at least make sure he isn’t worrying for no good reason ).

Notifications of social media updates, text messages that were a litany of errors between them; the buildup of numbers bring some form of comfort.

Until they don’t.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s not like it’s nothing new. Being separated from you two.

We’ve done it before in worse circumstances.

[ Text : Sora ] It hurts?

Is this what it was like for you?

I think I understand your pain now. Srry.

[ Text : Sora ] Are you coming home soon?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s still weird to not wake up to you clogging up my notifications.

[ Text : Sora ] I guess I can return that favor for once.

I’ll try to keep you updated on hwo everyone’s doing.

[ MESSAGE UNREAD ]

If he had been dependent on his phone before, then it was most certainly his lifeline afterwards.

Old notifications are left alone, a flashing number remains constant—as if the moment Riku checks it, it will disappear ( and some of the hope that he clings onto will go with it ).

He sends messages when he needs someone to talk to, so, nothing has really changed in that regard. He thinks about it a little more like writing letters than a journal. Sora will see them eventually, he hopes—thinks he would laugh at how many messages he sends and what kind of things Riku chooses to talk about.

It’s better than thinking of the alternative—

( The illusion is jarring and broken more quickly than he would like to admit because Sora has almost always been quick to check his messages, regardless of situation, the fact that the device will remind him of the fact that his messages continue to go unread is jarring and hard to get used to.

He willingly clings to the hope that something might change )

[ Text : Kairi ] Why.

[ Text : Kairi ] Why was it you?

Why was it him?

[ Text : Kairi ] Was it all pointless?

I think it’s my fault.

[ Text : Kairi ] For not doing something.

Sooner.

Better.

Whatevr.

[ Text : Kairi ] It should have been me, not you.

[ Text : Kairi ] I want to see you two come back.

[ Text : Kairi ] We should talk when you both are safe again.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s weird.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it feels like you two are dead or something.

I mean.

You kind of are?

[ Text : Sora ] But you promised. You’d come bcak.

I’m holding you to that.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it just.

Feels like we can’t talk about you for some reason.

Guess everyone’s still hurting.

[ Text : Sora ] They miss you, though. I can tell.

They miss both of you.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you both.

[ Text : Sora ] Come home soon.

[ Text : Sora ] You promised.

[ Text : Sora ] If I called, would you answer?

[ Text : Sora ] I guess not.

There are some miracles evn you can’t pull off.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m trying to act like it’s okay.

[ Text : Sora ] You can probably tell otherwise though. You’ve always been good at that.

Even if you can’t pick up on other things.

[ Text : Sora ] Srory.

About everything.

I’ll try harder.

[ Text : Sora ] I know you’d want me to.

[ Text : Sora ] I can’t

I haven’t been seleep?

Sleeping.

[ Text : Sora ] I keep.

[ Text : Sora ] Dreaming.

[ Text : Sora ] About yyou? I think?

Thats not really somehting new, though.

[ Text : Sora ] But it’s dffrnet this time?

I think

I know?

I’m seeing hwat you’re doing?

[ Text : Sora ] Im.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m nnot sure?

[ Text : Sora ] I’m worr

[ Text : Sora ] Im scared.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m scared for yuou.

[ Text : Sora ] I haven’t mentioned it too anyone.

I’ll have to eventually because I’m not sleeping enough

Can barely make sense of what I’m writing.

Pretty sure Aqua’s going to start casting sheep spells on me soon.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sure you would agree with her.

Probably would have beeen the one to fall asleep instead.

[ Text : Sora ] But.

I can’t tell them?

Not yet,

[ Text : Sora ] I don’t wwant them to have to hurt more.

[ Text : Sora ] I know you’d want me to rely on them but.

Trust me on htis one?

[ Text : Sora ] I 

I think

I know Im asking too much

[ Text : Sora ] I’m being selfish agian?

Sorry.  

[ Text : Sora ] Pleaes come back soon.

[ Text : Kairi ] I hate you.

[ Text : Kairi ] No.

I don’t.

I 

[ Text : Kairi ] I hate me.

I think you knew that already, though.

I’m sorry.

[ Text : Kairi ] I wish you were here.

I think you’d know how to handle thsi better than I do.

I miss being able to talk to you.

Both of you.

[ Text : Kairi ] I’ll make it up to you both.

Soon.

[ Text : Kairi ] I promise.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] You two have been gone for a year now.

It’s weird.

I guess we can officially hold a funeral?

[ Text : Sora ] I’m joking. Kind of.

It was a serious consideration, I think. By someone.

[ Text : Sora ] Probably Lea.

[ Text : Sora ] Still having dreams but.

Less frequently lately.

I’m worried. Is everything okay?

[ Text : Sora ] Before, I could always tell you were alright.

Just a feeling in my heart that told me so.

I’m starting to wonder if I can actually tell that you’re alive still

Or if I’m just being hopefull.

[ Text : Sora ] We miss you.

[ Text : Sora ] We haven’t given up on you two.

[ Text : Sora ] So you better come back.

I think they’ll cry if you don’t.

[ Text : Sora ] Because you.

[ Text : Sora ] For them.

[ Text : Sora ] We just.

[ Text : Sora ] Aynways.

[ Text : Sora ] Just hang on a little longer. Please.

[ Text : Sora ] I sthis my fault for not doing anything.

[ Text : Sora ] For not saying anything?

[ Text : Sora ] Im

I 

It’s too late now, I guess.

[ Text : Sora ] I wish I could hcange things.

[ Text : Sora ] It wasn’t supposed to be you.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you.

I wish I didnt.

I know it’s not weak to feel like this but.

[ Text : Sora ] I wish I ccould be stronger. For both of you.

[ Text : Sora ] Srory

[ Text : Sora ] Sorry

[ Text : Sora ] I love you.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s kind of weird.

Scary weird.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it feels like everyone else has forgotten about you two.

[ Text : Sora ] I guess they’ve started moving on and I haven’t.

I always hold onto things too long.

[ Text : Sora ] Somehow it doesn’t feel that simple.

[ Text : Sora ] Don’t tell them, but

I’m scared they’re forgetting?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s happened before. Not tht you remember.

[ Text : Sora ] That’s why I have to keep sending you messages.

Even on the bad days. When I can’t

Dont know what to say.

[ Text : Sora ] So I won’t forget.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes I think I’m being irrational, though.

[ Text : Sora ] I know they still remember you.

[ Text : Sora ] They have to.

[ Text : Sora ] You haven’t forgotten about us either, right?

[ Text : Sora ] I can’t

[ Text : Sora ] Im trying

[ Text : Sora ] It’s.

[ Text : Sora ] Bad.

Feels bbad. Brken.

[ Text : Sora ] Haven’t written in a hwile.

While.

Sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] Cant figure out what I want to say.

[ Text : Sora ] Trying to be better.

[ Text : Sora ] Cloud be worse?

[ Text : Sora ] That’s not. Saying mcuh.

[ Text : Sora ] Sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll try to ttalk to you again soon.

[ Text : Sora ] Kairi came home today.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sure you knew that.

[ Text : Sora ] We talked for a bit.

She couldn’t talk about you.

Can’t blame her.

[ Text : Sora ] You’re worrying me again.

What happened?

[ Text : Sora ] I think it’s been almost two years now?

Not srue.

Stopped keeping track.

Days keep blurring together.

[ Text : Sora ] I did a year before

So this shouldn’t be that much worse.

But it’s so much harder ths time?

[ Text : Sora ] Probably because I at least knew you were safe last time.

[ Text : Sora ] We’re trying.

[ Text : Sora ] Im try

We want you back home. Safe.

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll try harder.

[ Text : Sora ] Are you waiting for me?

[ Text : Sora ] I hpoe you’re just slaking off again.

[ Text : Sora ] Sora, I 

We

It’s so bad without uyou.

[ Text : Sora ] Please.

[ Text : Sora ] Come home.

[ Text : Sora ] We ccan’t.

[ Text : Sora ] I cant

Do this? Without you

I

[ Text : Sora ] We’re all still waiting on you.

His phone has become a definitive lifeline to keeping himself sane. Which isn’t saying much when he is haunted by another lifetime in his dreams, but—

He’s never cared for conventional, healthy methods, anyways. He takes too much care into making sure nothing happens to his phone because, well ( he doesn’t want to imagine what would happened if something happened— but he clings to the hope of a sign, anyways ).

The feeling of something distant in his soul, something missing— something rips at his soul and in the same moment something comes up on his phone—

He must have voiced some sort of anguish because he’s distantly aware of someone asking if he’s okay, but—

He can’t respond, eyes focused on the pop-up on his phone

[ ERROR: MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT TO RECIPIENT ]

[ Text : Sora ] I guess these aren’t getting to you?

[ Text : Sora ] That’s fine.

It was foolish for me to hope any of these messages could reach you.

[ Text : Sora ] I still haven’t looked at any of your old messages.

[ Text : Sora ] I like to think you were answering my messages.

Silly, but it helped sometimes.

[ Text : Sora ] Bfeore I could feel you. Knew you were okay.

But not today. What happened?

I know you can’t tell me but.

Wish you could.

[ Text : Sora ] Is this why Kairi couldn’t tell us?

[ Text : Sora ] I think the others can tell too.

That something is different.

[ Text : Sora ] I know I can’t call you, but can you call me?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s important.

[ Text : Sora ] Because I know

If you call, I’ll be able to find you.

[ Text : Sora ] Nothing could stop me from finding you.

Nothing.

[ Text : Sora ] So call for me?

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll see you soon, Sora

Promise.

[ ERROR: MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT TO RECIPIENT ]

[trojanjean]

questions for ao3 writers

tagged by @meimagino, thank you dsgsfa !! <3 <3 

Tagging: @kumikirin and @rayraywrites ! i don’t actually know a lot of ao3 writers SO PLEASE DO THIS AND TAG ME? <3 i’ve LOVED reading other people doing this tag and it’s so exciting to know more abt your stuff so please please if u use ao3 and wanna do this, please let me know! <3

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

my username is seaworn. i didn’t want my ao3 username to be the same as my tumblr url because my tumblr url is pretty much always associated with a certain fandom and i didn’t want that because i had a feeling that i’m going to write something for different fandoms. seaworn is a word i came across in one of nightwish’s lyrics, “sea-worn driftwood”. i just thought that was nice, and everything sea-related is really close to my heart. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

fingers crossed my obsession with you is tameable has most hits, kudos and bookmarks, but my heart’s a stereo (it beats for you so listen close) has most subscriptions (because it’s an ongoing series).

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s a picture of some random boy who i think looks a lot like my favourite trainwreck boy harry and i wanted it lmao 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

 i get really warm and giddy if someone i know comments something on my fics because it means the world to me that my friends read my shit asdgdfs. but i also get warm and giddy and excited when i get any kinds of comments!! <3 i appreciate every single comment i get and i sometimes cry when i get an email notification about a comment someone left me asfsg <3 i notice a few “regulars” that always comment of my stories when i publish something new and i LOVE them and it means the world to me that someone has subscribed to me/checks out my page to see whether i’ve published smth new. but i ALSO love people who just leave kudos bc seeing that someone has actually read my stuff? amazing. i love every single one of you so much. i go through my comments and my kudos/hits whenever i’m feeling down/insecure and they give me so much confidence and make me feel better about everything

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

oh yeah, i have plenty!! i mean, i have over 500 bookmarks and i go through them a lot to read many of my old favourites. i’m going to list a few i could remember without actually browsing through my bookmarks! :) they’re mostly drarry because i’m super into that again. also i really wanna scream about all of these but i’m just gonna link them and let them speak for themselves sdgdfsg 

Twingenuity by Caeseria. Viktuuri, explicit, 160k. summary: “Victor arrives in Hasetsu, completely unaware that Yuuri has an identical, overly affectionate, twin brother. The resulting temptation might actually kill him before he gets Yuuri to the GPF like he promised.”

Coffee, Cakes And Doorknob Snakes by Omi_Ohmy. drarry, explicit, 40k. summary: “Harry's house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it's Draco Malfoy”

Eternally Consistent by kitsunealyc. drarry, explicit, 40k. summary: “Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter assumed they would never be anything but civil enemies, until Potter lands on Malfoy's doorstep, bleeding, covered in curses, and acting very strangely indeed.”

Reparations by Saras_Girl. drarry, explicit, 87k. summary: “Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.”

Winter Song by proantagonist. viktuuri, explicit, 149k. summary: “The set of Yuuri’s mouth softened into a private smile as Victor squeezed his knee beneath the table. His hands were bare, free from the gloves he so often wore when they were together on the rink, and the heat of his palm burned straight through the denim of Yuuri’s jeans. He slipped his own hand beneath the table and found Victor’s. Hidden from sight, their fingers began to flirt and play. A secret conversation all their own that needed no words.

Yuuri was aware that at some point—a moment in time he couldn’t quite place—Victor had become his boyfriend.

There wasn’t a single instant when it happened. It was a slow awareness, as if Victor had silently been asking the question for months now, and Yuuri had been giving him the answer a little more with each passing day.”

i’d love to link everything i like but aSFASD!! just believe me when i say that with 500 bookmarks and having lots of writer friends in tumblr, i read a LOT of the same fics over and over and over again. the ones i mentioned just now are all longer stories i fell in love with because it took me days and maybe even weeks to read them and it’s like i’d found a whole new universe?? you can def ask me for fic recs because all i do is read fics but i found it really hard to just pick a few so i decided to pick just a few longer ones for this question!! but ask me for my favourite coffee shop aus? do it. favourit otayuri fics? ya please. fav modern au captive prince fics? you really should. 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

i can’t see the number of my subscriptions anywhere? but i get maybe 3-10 email notifications every day about an updated work so i guess it’s a lot. i have a little over 500 bookmarks! :)) 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

hmm, i maybe haven’t written enough to have, like, a special au i enjoy writing? but i DO think about coffee shop au’s and writing them a lot so i guess it’s that asfdsf. i just really really love coffee shops?? 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

274 subscriptions and 704 bookmarks holy sHIT hey i love every single one of you?? 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

i have a bunch of really, really sad and depressing headcanons i would love to write but i’m probably never gonna? like, lots of things about eating disorders and cutting and someone getting injured or cheated on, someone losing an important person or having to give up on their dreams, etc. lots of sad characters trying to be brave on their own and slowly fading away :’’)) i don’t want to write then because i haven’t come up with any good endings for those and i DON’T want to write stuff with no happy ending, so. i just really think i need to get out all kinds of crap rn and writing them would make me feel better but i think i’m too involved to actually write something worth reading? i fear that if i wrote smth i’ve headcanoned, it would end up being super immature and illogical. idk. my point it that i’m afraid to write really self-indulgent, depressing angst sadgsghdf 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i would love to be a little more consistent in writing. my concentration is bad and often i can’t get into the flow when i’m working on something. usually i add something to a wip every few days, then one day i write 1000 words and then continue editing sentences here and there, jumping from scene to scene, deleting smth and then adding 57 words. like...i often feel like i can’t get into the scene i’m writing and it feels like i’m watching it on the outside instead of being the writer? whenever i can focus properly i get solid, consistent, meaningful writing done, but honestly 80% of me doing anything is messing around and i have to do A LOT of damage control before everything is finished? 

this is related to what i just described but i’d also love to be able to write chronologically because i feel it makes the story and the journey more real when i’m actually working through what my characters are feeling/experiencing throughout the story? instead of writing an exciting plot thing A and an exciting plot thing number B and then later writing the boring parts inbetween. 

i have a lot of problems with plots in general - i feel it’s easier for me to write 2 k about, like, yuuri making tea in the morning, than writing 2k about someone walking to the store and buying milk. i’m better at describing moments and feelings than concrete plot points or someone dojng something? idk. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

popular ships. i mean, i might read rarepairs but i usually have one or two otp’s from each fandom i write about. i’d love to write about chrisabek one day though sgdfg. 

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

18 ???? what how when has this happened?? .  13 of those are yoi and the rest either drarry or johnlock. 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

18 published works and about....25-30 unfinished things? some over 10k words, some less than 500. also but i wrote A LOT of original shit when i was like 16-18 so if i count those in the number would be about 100 probably

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i write them down potential ideas, but i have a lot of headcanons i don’t write down because i don’t think i have the ability to write them. but most of my ideas go to google docs/notes. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

yeah, i actually have one wip going on with someone :) it’s unfinished but maybe we’ll finish it one day? it’s drarry and super sweet. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

i really can’t remember? i wish i could? but it probably in 2012 when i got into the sherlock fandom. 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

i don’t think so omg, but i’m really glad people read my stuff! but i’m definitely more known in the yoi fandom than the others i’m in bc my drarry/johnlock fics get like 5 comments, max, whereas i can get 20 comments to my yuri on ice stuff! :) it’s really nice that people read my stuff fhdh 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

omfg no but everyone who reads my stuff is an actual Angel  

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

yeah, a lot! a lot of original fiction authors & a lot of fanfiction authors! whenever i read a good text i’m like “wow, this is awesome, i wish i could write this well” and that always gives me a huge boost. the support of my friends is really encouraging and inspiring, too. 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

the “i will be a stronger writer after i finish this piece” is REALLY good advice, because...not everything you write will be the best you’ve done and you maybe feel like your writing has some flaws or something. but you know what? even if it’s not perfect, you’re a lot more experienced writer when you’ve done it. i do the “it’s gonna be shit anyway so i’m not gonna write it” thing quite often but then i have to remind myself that every single word i write gets me closer to being better, so i plunder through. and when i get finished with something, i usually think “well, this is not my strongest work but i’m glad i did it” and!!!! that’s really it!! i took part in otayuri reverse bang this spring and god i wanted to give up so so many times and i wrote lots of plots for it because i didn’t like ANYTHING i did. but i got through it, and while i think that the two stories i did for it are the worst i’ve written, it’s still 18 000 words more than i would have written if i hadn’t participated :) be your own biggest supporter & give yourself time to practise & be super proud and happy about what you’ve achieved so far!! <3 you wrote 10 words today? THAT’S 10 WORDS MORE THAN IT WAS BEFORE. you had a huge writer’s block so instead of writing you just wrote down some plot point you wanna write later? YOU PLANNED SOMETHING. you couldn’t even plan, you just opened your computer and gave up? YOU TRIED AND RESPECTED YOUR LIMITS TODAY AND THAT’S AMAZING. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i usually plan big plot points but figure everything else out as i go? planning in actually one of my weaknesses and instead of making a plan and sticking to it, i just wait for inspiration and get as much done as i can before it goes away, lol. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

not really :) everyone has been really sweet to me. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

action scenes are pretty hard? i think i’m better at writing dialogue and feelings than action or something dramatic happening. i’m working on it and i would love to get more edge to my writing! 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i’m finishing the last part of my heart’s a radio (it beats for you so listen close). the chapter is what i intended to write in the first place (yuri and otabek seeing each other at world’s and getting it on in a hotel room) but then i just....needed to have 14 000 words of stuff before it, apparently. 

i’m also working on a drarry fic that has been in my drafts for a long time. it’s about 8k and i think it’s going to be 10-13k, and that’s fine. it’s all about margaritas and blowjobs and being hungover, basically. it’s really fun to write lol.

and then i have this captive prince smut one shot that’s also like half-done. it’s really fluffy and sappy but still just smut. 

aaaaalso i’m trying to finish the next chapter for my viktuuri dog sitter au fic now my heart stumbles on things i don’t know ! i’ve been procrastinating because i don’t really have a plot for it planned yet. 

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

i have too many ideas in my head constantly and that makes it reaally hard to focus on finishing something before jumping onto something else. that’s why i have tons of wips and no finished works, lmao. 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not really. sometimes i try to push myself by setting goals, but in the end it really stresses me out because i’m usually away from home at least 9 hours every day and my work is really physical and tiring so asfsgas i really don’t have the strength to write every day. now my goal is to finish three fics before the year ends. they’re all oneshots that are maybe 80% done, so i should be able to do it. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

i hope so but i really don’t know?? 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

hmm. it’se been really fun writing i am to see to it that i do not lose you series because i’ve gotten a LOT of positive feedback along the way! and i’m not done with the series - i have a chrisviktuuri smut oneshot planned in this universe, happening at the same time when yuri’s figuring out how to date™. it was the first part of the series that made me think that maybe people actually enjoy my stuff & that encouraged me to write more!

I also really liked writing a oneshot i hust posted yesterday - listen how, under the breastbone, the rhythm changes . i wrote my first yuri on ice fic about a year ago and i just really wanted to return to that moment and write smth sweet about viktor and yuuri. the story has no plot or anything, but it felt REALLY good to write bc i sort of want and need a lot of soft things right now! 

also i’m having SO MUCH FUN with the drarry fic i haven’t posted yet, omg. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

hmm. probably cautiously peering, absorbing, translating hey eve stop with the pretentious fic names  because it was basically my first multichapter fic and i feel like it fell apart a little? i had to write it in less than a month bc it was part of otayuri reversebang. i felt like the idea was good and that it didn’t reach its full potential? i have very mixed feelings about this fic. i haven’t been able to read it even once after i published it bc i’m so afraid of what i’ll find lmao 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

hopefully my english is a lot better then, at least! i hope that i’ve started writing original fiction, really :) 

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

coming up with ideas!!! i don’t even use most of the ideas hat get in my head and i get lots of new ideas especially when i’m at work, out doing shopping, basically doing anything active??  but writing everything down, especially ideas you know will get 20-30k long once you start...damn. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

managing long stories? i haven’t written very many longer (like, over 10k?) stories and dgsgsg it’s just hard to make the plot interesting with lots of interesting cliffhangers, sad parts, etc? it’s hard to balance everything. 

and yeah writing just in general is hard because it’s at least 80% writer’s block but having ideas flood your head and making it hard to focus on real life sfsg

33. Why do you write?

to express myself, i think? i still haven’t learn how to process my more uglier emotions through writing (it would be really helpful if i could) but i’m definitely writing about the kind of things i miss and would like to have for myself - someone being really happy, having lots of quiet mornings, being loved, maybe being a trainwreck but having something to cope through it, having a special connection with someone. idk. all kinds of things.

writing is fun and actually writing down the fics you’d want to read is super duper cool. i don’t get very much done in my life otherwise, so writing gives me the feeling of accomplishment i’m not getting anywhere else. 

i’m not very good at expressing myself so writing definitely helps with that, too. 

[burnedhybrid]

please reblog | psa;

This is gonna be long so brace yourself, but if you’re in the RPing community especially the TVD, TO fandoms you’ll want to read on. Now, I'm not one to start or cause drama, but after some recent events I've felt the need to address a person who's not only continued to harass a friend and I but also try to emotionally manipulate us. 

This girl ran the dailydanielgillies blog and has many alias, her most recent name to go by is Amy but has been know as Piper, Yvonne & Holly according to @shitheardonline  (which is pretty much a blog dedicated to keeping the RPing community in the know about Amy and her whereabouts). I was following dailydanielgillies of course, to keep up with all things Daniel Gillies. After a few good weeks of following her I realized the blog contained more admin updates than anything Daniel Gillies related. The posts consisted of the admin getting upset every time Elijah (Daniels Character on The Originals) was hurt, or died or her favourite pairing wasn't together she would mouth off, get sad and threatened to delete the blog, threaten to harm herself or to hand the blog over to someone else.

I messaged her initially offering to take over the blog if she wanted to pass it along as she had previously stated. She asked me a few questions (if I had ran a fansite before,  how long I had been on Tumblr... etc) and I thought that was pretty standard and she gave off the impression that she was ready to hand it over to me but then she got quiet, didn’t correspond any further and the negative posts on her blog continued. That wasn’t fun for anyone, a lot of people have claimed it made them feel uncomfortable. After the three weeks had past and finally getting a hold of her, I could tell she didn’t want to part with the blog. That was fine, however her blog wasn’t giving me what I initially sought out for, so I told a friend, Ree, (@suitsofarmor) I was planning to make a Daniel Gillies fansite and she offered to help (Ree has huge admiration for Daniels work and knows a lot of info about him and his projects - so it was perfect)  So we started our own Daniel Gillies fansite under @thegilliesource.  10 hours into starting that blog (the template wasn’t complete or customised, we had about 3-6 followers by then) we both received messages from the Amy asking us why we didnt ask her permission to start that blog. My initial thoughts were ‘WTF?’ After doing some digging I realized she had posted on @dailydanielgillies  (gone now) our new link and then saying she was going to close the site because we made one. Bare in mind none of us made the blog to rival with hers, no one had bad intentions, we both just werent getting what we wanted from her blog and decided to create our own as a lot of her followers had voiced the same issues of not enjoying her admin posts. I woke up to messages from both her dailydanielgillies blog (which by then she had archived) and her inspirationromance RPing blog too. I have some screen shots of the messages she sent us as well as well as what she posted on dailydanielgillies (remember to read from the bottom of each screenshot upward):

She messaged me both on her RP blog and on  (inspirationromance) & dailydanielgillies to which the conversation went like this:

As I said the template wasn’t completed, no schedules were made and we had about 3-6 followers at the point so no one knew about us nor did they flock. 

Also may I add I found it amusing that she already knew the reasoning behind us not deciding to have her as a contributor.  She knew what she was doing already. PLUS she wasn’t entitled to the blog in any way shape or form.

I’m sorry. I found It funny because enemies sounded so dramatic. I felt like a kid in a playground and someone has just said they didnt want to be mates LOL I was confused like, what? I went along with it anyway.

Apparently not.

And I kept to my word. It was clear that as soon as I said something she’d take it way out of context or twist it and that upset me, so I cut ties.  I initially only responded to the messages from this account but I did get some from her RP one inspirationromance and after the Sunday and this previous conversation. I didnt respond. A couple of days after that she deleted that blog altogether - but didn’t forget to blame us first.

At first I didn’t know who inspirationromance was but after looking on her blog I came to find out it was her. Also she had left a really cute message for Ree and I, take a look and also yes, from then on out dailydanielgillies had been deleted which is why you wont find anything.

Yeah...

Than another few message to both me, Ree & @thegilliesource:

Funny that. She’s never mentioned RPing before.  We received an ask on thegilliesource, asking if we had stole dailydanielgillies to which Ree answered you can find here: https://thegilliesource.tumblr.com/post/160926607439/did-you-steal-dailydanielgillies-account

Some ex followers of Amy’s dailydanielgillies blog commented too:

The ‘lots of people’ she was pertaining to where in response to these comments. two.

Didn’t really matter though because she got a shiny new blog with a similar name shortly after called @gilliesgifsource (also deleted, she likes deleting things within a period of a few hours to a few days)

And she sent us this:

I wish I had more shots of her site because the similarity in text was ironic. Still, we never flagged it up with her.

She continued to message us every couple of days on our personal accounts or on thegilliesource. They were all ignored, and that seemed to annoy her more, but we didnt respond because we knew regardless, our voices wouldn’t be heard or respected. We had already tried to have a civil conversation and that wasn’t enough. She would also write about us on her RP blog and then tell us we were horrible people for not responding. This week I started RPing with someone new and realised their blog was made in the past 24 hours and they were a semi selective roleplayer, I realised she had made a starter with Amy and knowing emotional manipulation and abuse can be a trigger warning for people and knowing Amy had a preference for certain face claims... I didnt want this blog getting into something that could be emotionally harmful so early. So I explained that I didnt want to change their mind about RPing with Amy but I sent the RPer there to @shitheardonline, a blog that particularly talks about Amy and her antics online, and the RPer decided they didn’t want to go down that route.  After seeing that we were even mutuals Amy wrote this on her blog (but also blocked the new RPer due to us being mutuals BEFORE the new RPer even had the chance to block her, herself as the new RPer had already started to see the negative side of her)

What tipped me over the edge is when she sent thegilliesource this message:

I did nothing wrong. We did nothing wrong. @shitheardonline is a public site, everyone can grab that information themselves.  She also tweeted this:

Now I’m not one to play with a suicide threat. I have lost three real life friends this way, one being in the past couple of weeks. I treat the topic very sensitively. According to @shitheardonline there had been old accounts of her threatening suicide like this but just doing it to scare people.. And after reading her tweets that followed her tumblr posts and that message I made sure I reported her accounts to a Suicide watch. I wanted to make sure she was okay. Because all things aside it's clear she has a mental health issue (I have anxiety, depression and get severe panic attacks to the point where I pass out) So I know how scary and difficult it is. I get help for my mental health, but I feel as if she doesnt have that help or control over it, her emotions change erratically and I would hate for anyone to feel as if they have done something wrong especially when not even responding to someone.

She was offline for a day and came back with this post:

I’m not posting this long ass post to ‘out’ any one, or shame anyone. That’s never healthy. But I know that also the way she can treat people, take things out of context and react to things isnt healthy either, especially to those who are vulnerable and take things to heart. Messaging someone to say they are the cause of their suicide is intolerable. I was worried sick and for what? She was trying to scare me and it worked, which had bought back a flood of triggers from my childhood, but I choose not to be a victim to it at all and I would hate any of the community having to go through that too.   I’ve felt like I was doing something wrong or was in the wrong until my fiancé reminded me that hurt people, hurt people - But that doesn't make it justifiable. To get the message out and protect  others too. I’m writing this post as a psa if anyone is looking to steer clear of Tumblr drama or want to avoid triggers like like suicide, emotional abuse and manipulation. She has a tendency to post and then delete, so that’s why I’ve been taking screenshots, so going on those pages they may have posts missing - this isn't out of the ordinary.  All info I shared are online and public and can be publically shared. The reason I’m sharing  screenshots of PMs is because I want everyone to see that I’m not making this up and/or I’m not lying. Because Amy has called me that. On several accounts. BTW within the last 24 hours she’s also changed her URL from @inspirationromance to @theheartofromance, then to @characterarchiving. I woke up this morning to a notification of a follow/unfollow from phoebegillies. After inspecting the account  and realising the rest had been deleted (including gilliesgifsource) I’ve realised she signed up with a new email (because she was blocked on the other accounts too so she couldn’t have followed me.) So she’s deliberately come and found me again to follow me then unfollow me. It was like a little dig at me. So I blocked her. If you choose to do the same its: http://www.phoebegillies.tumblr.com URL changes and account changes arent uncommon either. Bare in mind. I still haven’t responded to her since. She’s now harassing me by constantly reaching out despite my efforts to stop her. If you’re interested in more info about her you can find it on @shitheardonline That blogs over a year old and Amys history has been tracked that far. There you can find a list of aliases she’s used over the years as well as URLs she been under, horrible tweets she’s sent out and tagged TO writers in etc...

As of today (the 31st of May) she’s also made her Twitter account private so I’m glad I screen shotted what I could when I had the chance. I wish this girl the best and hope she gets the helps she needs, but its not okay to point the finger, victimise, harass and manipulate people online. And I want all of us to stay safe. Please reblog this so others can know. Take Care, Jolie x

[twilit-tragedy]

Get to know me tag! Tagged by @random-hylian thank youuuu <3 Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people nah

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: to my mom / from one of my best friends 3. Text message: to a friend / ex-boyfriend 4. Song you listened to: It was on shuffle, but I’m pretty sure it was “Six Who Are Strong Are Stronger” from the Haikyuu soundtrack 5. Time you cried: I was about say “I can’t remember”, but it was actually on June 12th HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yeah 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: I guess so 10. Been depressed : yup

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no fortunately haha

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: purple, sea blue, light green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: nope (still in it oops)

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: umm no?

19. Met someone who changed you: no

20. Found out who your friends are: yes they’re great people as I always knew they were :*

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: probably my best friend

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 95%. I’ve deleted a bunch of people I just knew from school corridors, so now there’s only actual friends and the family members I’m stuck with

23. Do you have any pets: Yep. Two cats, an unknown number of fish, and a bird

24. Do you want to change your name: I remember not liking the sound of my name (and I still kind of don’t) but it’d be too much trouble

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went out with my best friends to a “park” and then we went to my house and ate cake. Super chill. Too bad there were praxes (google it) going on at the park

26. What time did you wake up: 10AM. sweet, sweet summer vacation

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Texting my friend in a weird giggly mood

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Idk, something new. Even college

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 20 or so minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My living arrangements

31. What are you listening to right now: Unfortunately, the beeping of a truck just outside my house. What are you doing here, go away

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes! It was his new name after coming out 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Mom, and my health

34. Most visited website: I would say tumblr or youtube, but it’s probably my email cuz I’m always waiting for updates or notifications on various things

35. Mole/s: Many. Many many many many many. My genes + the sun here are one hell of a combination

36. Mark/s: umm besides the scars from skin picking, I believe I have some on my legs from childhood

37. Childhood dream: a doctor

38. Hair color: Dark brown

39. Long or short hair: I guess it’s mid-length

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yup! A big, fat one

41. What do you like about yourself: about my personality? umm, well I’m patient and a good listener. Otherwise I like my singing ability (sometimes I find my voice annoying but that might be because I never shut up)

42. Piercings: I’m a tattoo-over-piercing person, and though maybe I wouldn’t mind a couple, I only have earring 1 hole in each ear

43. Blood type: Oh, oh, oh! 6 months ago I would’ve said “I’ve no fucking clue”, but after a Biology lab, I found out it’s O+

44. Nickname: Nini or Dani or a bunch of inside jokes with my friends haha

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: Virgo

47. Pronouns: she/her is cool 

48. Favorite TV Show(s): Oh boy, TV? I don’t know, I don’t watch TV regularly anymore and I’m terrible at keeping up with what I like and is airing?? I used to watch mostly FOX and AXn so I guess you can figure it out from that. Oh, but when I was on vacation last week there was a creepy police show in French airing on Portuguese TV and it left me intrigued so I’ll try to remember to finish watching it!! It’s called Les Témoins which I assume was translated to English as “Witnesses”

49. Tattoos: None, but I want multiple!!

50. Right or left hand: Leftieeeeee :D

51. Surgery: None yet but that’s about to change tomorrow *slightly scared laugh*

52. Hair dyed in different color: nope, I’ll try it someday

53. Sport: My favorites? Humm I liked handball the best, followed by basketball, but recently I’ve learned to like volleyball and badminton. If you’re asking what sport I’ve done, it’s swimming, ballet and karate *shrugs* 

55. Vacation: Umm, I’ve passed a bit through Spain to go to France; I’ve travelled fairly little in Portugal itself; I’ve gone to Brazil obvs and Cuba and I think that’s it. Ah, no, I guess Switzerland counts even though that was visiting family

56. Pair of trainers: I am confused, what is this question?? My favorite sneakers are All Stars  <3 (Do you call them Converse in English, I have no idea) MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I was straight up eating a downgraded Nutella just before starting this 58. Drinking: Wateeeerrr (but if you’re asking my favorite, I will go to my grave drinking milk) 59. I’m about to: Hopefully finish folding this laundry while watching YouTube and then continue cleaning my room 61. Waiting for: Exam grades to comw out (tomorrow) so the stress can die out a bit 62. Want: an apartment of my own tbh 63. Get married: I guess I’d like to, but it’s so messy I’d have to trust the other someone really well. I wouldn’t mind just living together either 64. Career: Hopefully a biologist, thought my mother is still salty about that

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: I raise you: kissing while hugging. Haha I choose hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes <3 67. Shorter or taller: umm I’m mostly different, but taller? 68. Older or younger: for dating? Humm.... I’ve dated either people a year younger or my age *shrugs* I think my age is cool

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: umm, again indifferent or both?? I think I’ll go with stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: ho? I’ll go with BOTH 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship my heart ain’t good for hook-ups 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends tbh. It is a kind of troublemaker similar to me so we have fun fucking shit up together? Is it a troublemaker on a way-too-high scale? Is it a person slightly hesitant (which is fine, I’m a bit too) or it someone super indecisive HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: Umm I’ve tasted it, but never had a glass of my own. Scratch that, I was thinking of whiskey only before I realized vodka is hard liquor as well: YES. I barely drink but black vodka found a spot in my stomach <3 Also, I’ve tried Portugal-specific liquor or Cuban cocktails because well  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Uh I left my glasses in a dressing room last year (they were black and the room was also black, I’m not usually that distracted!!) but I also stepped on my glasses and snapped the lenses out when I was a kid oops 77. Turned someone down: *sigh* yes

78. Sex on the first date: not even close

79. Broken someone’s heart: *sigh* yes, multiple times 80. Had your heart broken: I guess so, but they were nice breakups? 81. Been arrested: no! 82. Cried when someone died: Yep, I broke down in front of the body, it was just great 83. Fallen for a friend: I think I’ve only fallen for friends to be quite honest DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: I sure try! 85. Miracles: ummmm I don’t know ‘-’ I don’t have anything to base my decision on 86. Love at first sight: meh 87. Santa Claus: nope 88. Kiss on the first date: again, I’ve only dated friends. I was probably in super deep already on the first date

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: I have three but I’m not naming them, sorry 91. Eye color: Uuummm wait what was it called? I think it’s olive green. Or hazel. They’re brown and green, you name it 92. Favorite movie: real-life I’m not sure because I don’t watch many movies, but animated it’s Prince of Egypt

[kimdaily]

I looked through your blog to see what was going on and, damn, it's like people forget you're a real life person, too. It always sucks to see big blogs like you I admire feeling stressed because of Tumblr. Like people need to realize that while this is a bangtan/namjoon blog, this is also a personal blog and you're not going to have the answers to every single question. (And I honestly don't understand anons who continue to follow you if they're only going to send hate).

Anonymous said:@ the people who are sending negative comments and suggesting this blog to be deleted etc. - First of all, I’m sorry that people like you have to exist. Try to imagine being dragged by dozens of anonymous assholes every single day in a place that’s supposed to be enjoyable? Please go invest your time and energy into learning how to become better human beings, bc it’s honestly so lame to be investing so much into making someone’s day even worse than it already is. Sab, stay strong

kjjownsme said:I love your blog and everything you do for those of us who enjoy your comments and content but you owe no one a damn thing.

visualseokjin said:‘take a break. like permanently.’ lmao people are so fucking rude. i’m sorry for them and sorry that u have to deal with them. i just wanted to pop in and say that your presence and everything you do for this fandom is so appreciated ;; and i hope the bad apples don’t manage to push you away from something that you love.

Anonymous said:The people who say you’ve been mean and rude can go fuck themselves tbh - you’ve are soft and cute and so sweet you don’t deserve this shit

Anonymous said:I will be sad but understanding if you decide to delete. I came to this blog for bts, stayed for you, and now I check your blog everyday. You could just reblog pictures of walls and I’d still have notifications on and get hype every time you post. Your posts regarding school and stress comfort me and your bangtan posts distract me from my own stress from school. I appreciate you and this blog so much- thank you for putting up with bullshit messages and negativity for so long. 

mxbebes said:been following you for a while now and i would say i’d miss you on my dash a lot of u left ♥ if that’s the choice you need/want to make i support you but if it’s over uncertainty about posting what you want all i can offer is the advice to screw anyone who tries to dictate what you want to put on /your/ blog maybe turn of asks/anons for a while if it gets to much or get into the habit of blocking the assbags who seem entitled to tell u what to post ♥ anyway ily a lot u would be missed if u left

Anonymous said:Hey I love your blog but if you think deactivating would put you in a better mental state then maybe that’s what’s more important. But I hope you know that you’re an amazing person who’s blog has done some good. I always glossed over Namjoon until I saw you and your posts. Now he’s one of my favorites. I’m sorry anons have affected your enjoyment on here. Just know you’ve got followers who care about how you feel, whether that means you leaving or not.

baepsaeling said:i haven’t been following you for very long but honestly the amount of shit you’re getting is ridiculous. but since you say Tumblr is your getaway place - maybe throw this blog on hiatus and start a smaller blog for the time? in either case, please don’t be afraid to give yourself a break. we all need one, occasionally. i hope stuff is gonna clear up and you’ll feel better soon! 💖

Anonymous said:hello please stay strong you’re my fav namjoon stan. if you really cant take it, take a break for a little bit and come back for us please? We love you

bukedo said:Hello~ I’d like to say that i’ve only started following you recently and up to this point i haven’t regretted anything of it, as a blog for Namjoonie you have been one of the best and i understand why you are upset/mad and tbh i would be too … I always look everything up before i ask around and only ask when i don’t find any answers. All the things about Namjoonie are very easy to find and people shouldn’t keep bothering you 💜 (Stay perfect ! 💜💜)

Anonymous said:You’re super amazing, your blog is super amazing and tbh all the salty haters just need to go get lives… I mean at what point do you think its ok to harass someone on tumblr… I mean, it’s tumblr… If you’re going to be a lil bish at least get of anon and have the guts to say it to someones face.

lunalilymoon said:i’m so so sorry i love you and your blog and namjoon but do what is best for you ❤

gogomaki said:Hon… please stay strong! I love you! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Anonymous said:I don’t know what has happened and I don’t need too. I’m sorry for whatever has happened and I believe you deserve a break… ❤❤

Anonymous said:@ the people who are always buggin you for updates or askin what namjoon did: there is this lovely site called google where you can get most if not all the answers ur lookin for plus there are like 3456658 different update blogs that would probably love to take ur questions. shocking i know. also if some of yall hate namjoon so much what tf are you doin on an obvious namjoon stan blog talking shit like are you stupid?? and sab can be as sassy as she wants shes a fucking human with emotions okay!

Anonymous said:i want u to feel better, but i know nothing i say can. just… always try to look on the bright side of things, okay? as corny as that i

Anonymous said:Delete your blog then. I never saw you as someone holding every action Namjoon did I saw you as an actual human being. A human being who breaks down who stresses out who gets angry. Who has EMOTIONS. I’m sending this and I’m not going to sugar coat shit and tell you it gets better. Because nothing ever does unless you work through it. If you delete your account, don’t do it then regret it. Im sending this in as anon cause you may not answer but I’m not going to give you a sugarcoated response

hoshyoung said:Please remember that your own mental amd physical health is more important than running this blog. I know lots of people will support whatever decision you make, including myself. We just want you to be happy and healthy No matter what, I wish you all the happiness in the world!! 💕💕💕💕💕 (I’m sorry for all of the people who are being selfish and rude, you deseve so much more than that)

Anonymous said:hi bae~ i literally just got online and was ??? omg why is my ult namjoon blog stressing??? so i read what you said and i feel so sorry for you :((( i can’t imagine getting so many asks about someone you stan, especially negative asks. i get so exhausted just reading someone being nasty / bringing up joon’s past, so i can’t imagine how tired and frustrated you must be to have all that in your askbox. i just wanted to drop in to say that i love you very much!!! [ 1/2 

Anonymous said:I’m so sorry. I used to be one of your old anons that checked on you and also talked to you a lot, but I guess I haven’t been doing a good job of that lately. I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten off of my lazy ass and come check on you, because you’re very important to me. I think you’re absolutely amazing, and you’re so kind and nice to everyone. I hate that you feel this way, I know how hard you’ve worked. But if you decide to stay, I promise to start writing you cute messages again. I love you ❤❤

Anonymous said:Sab I’m sorry you have to go through with this negativity! I love your blog and love you personality! And i don’t know if this will lighten your mood even just a tad but I have a random question for you: who do you Stan more Ryan or Kumamon?

Anonymous said:I’m sorry you’re not having a great time on Tumblr as of late for a variety of factors and that people are belittling your comments down to a sentence. Just wanted to say hi, and send you my well wishes. I love seeing you on my dash, both kpop related content and otherwise. It’s nice seeing the blogger behind the blog. Also, you have a superb playlist. I hope your crazy school project does well, despite that I know you’re not thrilled about being part of the whole thing. #Sabjoon2k17

thornyrosebush3 said:I know I’ve never messaged you before (anxiety) but I just wanted to let you know that whatever decision you make will be okay. If you do delete your blog to make the pressure and stress go away, that is okay. I’m not here to tell you ‘not to delete your blog, everything will be okay’ because I want you to feel comfortable no matter what decision you make. -M.

Anonymous said:I really would like to get to know you more and chat with you because I honestly think you are such a wonderful person. But I feel like I would be imposing on you by chatting with you like a friend I feel as if it would be rude because it’s almost like being overcomfortable? But I love your blog and would love to get know you ☺️

Anonymous said:Project start flooding your asks with nice things so that you don’t have to read all that sh*t is a go . :)

bangtan-world said:I love a human being, and that human being is called Sabrina.❤

Anonymous said:I give you so much props for the amount of patience you have and I’m sorry that you have to deal with annoying/rude anons :( anyone that sends you hate can come and fight me! Pls keep being an amazing ❤️

Anonymous said:I’m sorry for all the things your going through. If I could do something I would. Here a change from all the things your getting. How are you? Hope you have a good night/day.

Anonymous said:Are you going to start a new account? Because like you said it wouldn’t be fair for you to have to start over because of hate. But I really love your blog and I understand and really hope that your okay.

hobismole said:😩 your selfie killed me why are you so freaking beautiful?? Also I’m sorry that people are treating you like this you deserve so much better! Don’t worry too much about what other people think and do whatever decision you feel is right for and your blog 💞

Anonymous said:hellooooo, just dropping by to say that i appreciate you & your blog very much! im new to BTS and your blog is among the first few ones that i followed. :) dont let the haters get you down, there’s plenty of us here who like & appreciate you! \o/

Anonymous said:I think you should just turn off anon asks so if people want to really know the answer to their shitty questions they have to be willing to have their identity known (and I know that me being on anon writing this is ironic 😂)

Anonymous said:I’ve just come back from a tumblr hiatus to see you sad and!! No!! I’m so sorry people are not treating you and your blog how they should and it’s pushed you to feel like wanting to delete. I hope you know you’ll be missed but if you feel it’s what you have to do we understand!! Stay strong like we know you can and do what you feel is best!!

Anonymous said:What’s your favourite nose shape? Mines the ones that look kinda too long but are turned up at the end and are really cute. Hope you can get over the negativity

Anonymous said:Your own mental health and comfort is important too. while i can’t give any concrete solutions for you, at least know that there is this anon who supports your decision either way. stay healthy and safe 'kay?

Anonymous said:we’ll miss you darling. please be safe and do what is healthy for you because that is the most important thing! i’m sure you’ll get many more nice messages before you go besides this one but if not i’ll keep sending these until you feel better! if you want to come back we’re always here. much love, a quiet anon who loves seeing you on their dash ❤️

Anonymous said:I’m sorry your blog is surrounded by so much negativity. In an attempt to at least make you smile, or get to know you, what kind of things do you like? Movies, tv shows, Kpop groups, artists? I’d be more than happy to ask you things about yourself 💕

i-am-wordaholic said:Do what u have to do sweety. Don’t hand over ur peace of mind for anyone. If that means closing the acc then… that sucks but it’ll have to be. You wouldn’t want Namjoonie to keep doing smth that makes him unhappy cuz he feels he owes it to ppl, right? So, don’t do it to urself either. Fighting!!!

reprobateravenclaw said:Oh. My. God. Wtf? Like I get it's nice to be nice and stuff, but honestly, you don't have to be. You can just tell someone to fuck off when you don't wanna discuss smth. You don't hold any sort of responsible behaviour to anyone. Yeah sure, be nice and all, but slam them to the pits of hell if you wanna/need to. Just saying. Take it easy. Being mean isn't always bad when it comes to you. Like, if you're someone who cares about what people say to you,its essential to know when to be a bitch.

Anonymous said:hey :) i saw all those posts you just made, honestly i have no idea what happened to you but don't give up on tumblr if it's the thing that made you happy once (if this makes sense...) there's still a lot of us that appreciate everything you do! ily x

Anonymous said:hi! i've never sent any asks before so i Hope This Is Okay but i saw what was going on and i'm so sorry that that's been happening to you. that sounds Ultra Mega Shitty and :( if you want to delete/deactivate i wont stop u if u think its the right thing for u b/c ur happiness + health are the Most Important !! i just wanted to tell u that i love ur blog lots and lots!! you're one of the first bts blogs i ever followed :') thank u for blessing my dash and being a Gr8 :') i hope ur doing well!! :)

Anonymous said:I just saw you're going through all this shit. I have followed you for awhile and I'm like so invested in your life in a weird way? It's hard to explain. I just want you to be able to breathe a little and not feel so overwhelmed. I know how life can make you feel like you're barely keeping your head above water. I hope you get some rest and are able to just chill a little from all this. Love you!!

thank you guys so much, I genuinely want to thank you all of such kind things. tomorrow is a new day, we’ll put all this in the past and look forward to better days. 

I care about you all so much and hope you have a fantastic bright day, thank you so much again I wish I could hug you all for sending me such nice things it means more than I think you could ever understand. I love you, you guys are the reason I come on everyday hopeful and a full heart. 

again sorry  for everything, I just it’s been weighing heavy on me for the past two or so months and I sadly finally cracked and had to let it out.