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seldomscilence16 · 1 year ago

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Voltron in "The Little Mermaid" Part 2!

Alright so I wanted to get 2/3 of it out in July cause ya know Julance, so it may be a little rushed but im having fun so thats nice. And this one comes with burnt out art! (By that I mean I gave up half way cause drawing is hard but its still cute.) Once again, thank you to @paracosm299 for being the backbone to this fanfic. And I hope everyone else likes it too! If I ever find a laptop that doesnt hate me and tumblr I'll link the three together. Until then, hopefully my tags might work for ya'll...

Also, if ya'll havent listened to the music from all three versions (cartoon, live action, broadway) youre missing out and they are referenced in this part. So minor spoilers for the Live Action! ("Shes in love" OBC is a bop I do so recommend it)

~~~~~~~~~

Lance sprawls across one of the many rocks, chest heaving as he tries to slow his heart rate. His eyes roam what he can see of his collection, that familiar ache hitting him hard.

He just didn't understand.

Here, in the waters he's always known, he should feel a sense of home. And yet at every corner, he simply feels trapped, unable to even breathe without the threat of punishment for doing it 'wrong'. Instead of love and encouragement, he is crushed under rules, expectations, and this pressure to do something, but with no idea what that something is. He has a vague recollection of a woman, with deep brown eyes- the only real feature he can recall- saying so earnestly, it was almost prayer-like, that he was their future.

He still couldn't fathom what she meant. Lance, the future? Should he somehow outlive the Emperor, Lance would be taken down immediately, by those vying for the Triton. Sendak may drill his lessons and expectations into him daily, but Lance doubted very much he'd ever actually hold any power. The only future Lance can see, is either forever a decoration to the Emperor, or a trophy given to another. The very thought makes him shudder, but it's a reality he's long since acknowledged.

Lance was no future. Lance was not free to be a future. Lance was simply... a dressed up prisoner.

For every gadget, gizmo, whosit, whatsit, and thingamabob Lance found, for every glimpse of wonder, a longing grew. He wanted more than this, he wanted...

To be where the people are. To see them dance, to walk around on those... those... feet! To run along streets, to stay all day under the sun's warm rays, wandering free... was it so much to wish to be up there with them? He hasn't much to give, but he wonders idly, if he were offered a chance, would he give what was asked in return readily? To live out of these waters, for even just a day to spend warm on the sandy beaches.

Coran has since crawled from his own little crevice, watching him with worried eyes,

"I bet you up there, they understand, that they don't reprimand your every move, that they see you for who you are. Im... I'm sick of swimming with an anchor strapped to my fin. I want to stand, free... is that so much to ask Coran?"

"No child, to be free is not something that you should have to pay for." And the emotion in the man's voice has tears of his own burning in Lance's eyes.

"I want to know everything, ask them my questions and get some real answers. Like, whats a fire and why does it, what's that word?? Burn! When will I be allowed to do something for me?" Lance swims through his treasures, towards the small hole at the top, reaching towards the surface he's forbidden from breaching, "I'd love to explore that world up above... out of the sea, I just... I wish I could be a part of a different world... I know that makes me terrible, but... I'm so tired..."

Lance stares at the barest glimpse of the moon before it's covered, casting a shadow that's dispersed by bursts of colored light.

"What in the Seas?"

"Wait, Lance my boy, it's not safe up there, not tonight!"

But Lance ignores the octopus, for probably the first time, making his way towards the surface before he can stop himself, breaching it fully for the first time. Loud popping sounds assault his ears, and debris splashes around him, before him a little ways, is a large ship with joyous music playing. Lance looks around, maybe for a sign to turn back, but finds none, something almost seems to be... pulling him, calling him, towards the Ship. He navigates past the debris, until he comes to the side of the ship where smaller ones hang. It takes him a moment to pull himself up and into it, arms straining as he tries to remain quiet.

There's a small gap that allows him to see the occupants, and a smile graces his face as he watches them dance. They throw each other around and slam their feet, and play instruments and drink. And just when Lance thinks it can't get any better, they start to sing.

It wasn't as melodic as the songs of his people, or as hypnotic or power filled as the royal siren songs. And yet, Lance couldn't look away. To think that just as his people feared and hated humans, Humans too, feared his people. They were so different, but at the same time, not so different at all.

One of the humans, seemingly younger than the rest, was on the edge of their celebration. The bright- and loud- lights in the air illuminated his face, eyes shining just so, like where water and sky meet. He's pulled aside by a taller man, who has a scar over his nose and a tuft of white hair laying on his forehead. They come close enough for their voices to drift to Lance's position, and he ducks away from the opening until only his eye is seen.

"Keith, you know we have to go back." The taller one says, sounding apologetic.

"Shiro it's my birthday, please let me have this one day not to think about that place." The shorter one- Keith- responds.

"You know Kolivan will be coming over to lecture you soon. The late King-"

"Wanted me to be trapped inside the castle for the rest of my life, isolated on our island home, never to do anything new because he had some crazy notion that that would keep us safe." He sighs, leaning heavily on the railing and staring off into the distance, the furry creature lays at his feet, staring at Lance curiously. He buries a hand in his fur with a smile. "I feel like the ocean is calling to me Shiro, I'm not afraid of it, I want to explore."

Lance feels a sort of resonation, like he's looking in the mirror once again instead of at a human. Someone who sees a future, and is ready to make it himself...

A crack of lightning lights up the sky, violent and sudden as the ocean rises up and crashes against the ship.

"Storms coming in fast! On your toes!"

Lance jumps into the waves before he can hear more, he needed to leave, there was no telling if this was Posiedon or Sendak-

"Keith!"

Lance's eyes flash back to the ship, to Keith holding the fluffy creature and throwing him as the ship is alight and collapsing. Lance curses in his head, diving below again to help, guiding him to the calls of the people in the little ships. When he comes up again, he sees no sign of Keith and a panic he can't describe grips his heart.

He dives again, dodging wreckage as the ship sinks, swimming through the harsh currents in search for a splotch of red. His distress rises with each moment, movements quick and jerky, until finally, finally, he sees it. Unmoving except for his slow descent, arms raised like even in unconsciousness he's reaching for something. As Lance draws closer he sees the cut along his jaw, the ripped clothing, smaller injuries, and he's sure bruising will form.

Hooking his arms under Keith's own Lance drags him to the surface. It's an effort to keep the human's head above the waves as the storm rages on, but Lance wont let him drown, not while he can do something about it. He heads inland, praying to any God that will listen, that the human survives.

Even if it means his own demise when he returns to Atlantica.

...

The sand is dry and coarse, but warm under the morning sun's rays, as he tugs the waterlogged human far enough from the lapping waves. His hand shakes as it hovers over the still form, the cut on his cheek still leaks blood, his pale skin taking on a sickly pallor, before he can really think twice, his voice rises from somewhere deep. A careful melody fills the air around them, a glow encompassing his own form as he finally places his hand to Keiths chest.

It takes longer than he'd like for color to return to his cheeks, one now marred with a scabbing scar. A groan leaves his lips and Lance's relief is palpable, despite the exhaustion that settles into his very bones. He wants nothing more than to lay here, but he knows better. Shouts reach his ears, and with a reluctance he cant place, he returns to the sea, hiding behind a rock a ways off.

He watches as a group of humans surround Keith, who seems at least semi-coherent now, watches as they make off towards their own settlements.

"I don't know what this feeling is. I don't even know how I know, but... something changed. I've found the world I want to be a part of..."

Lance watches until they've vanished from view, a pull stronger than ever before, calling him towards a human with inky hair and deep eyes, to a future he'd never thought of.

If he lived past sunset that is.

...

Allura practically falls on his head, Coran wrapped around his arm only a second behind.

"Lonce! Where have you been!?" Allura is scanning his face, claws hovering, "Coran told me about the… thing… and then there was a storm and you were gone! We've been worried sick!"

"Im sorry, I just-"

"Don't even think about lying to me Lonce!"

Lance swears shes on the verge of tears, and he lets out a reluctant sigh,

"I…" he rubs his free hand over the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact, "Rescued a human…" he mumbles.

"You did WHAT!?"

"No one saw me!" Lance is quick to defend, admittedly a little petulant.

"Shhhh!!! Sendak can not know about this!" Allura looks around in a panic, her voice hushed.

"Know about what?" A new voice asks from behind, nearly scaring Lance right out of his scales.

Flipping around Lance sees someone he hadn't in several years,

"Rachel?? What are you doing here? I thought you all weren't allowed at the gatherings anymore!" They clasp arms, exchanging smiles.

"Well, he wants info on our territory then someone has to come." Her grin turns sly, and Lance thinks there's more to what she says, but then again, it always seems like there's more when it comes to them. "So what's this I hear we aren't telling?"

"Nothing. Seriously guys, I'm already gonna get a lecture from Se- my father, I really don't need this right now."

He sees a bunch of Mers heading towards the reefs, decides that's a good way to delay the inevitable, and follows. Though of course he has company cause they dont give up that easily. And to continue his declining luck, four more mers to add to his growing entourage.

"Wow, look how big you've gotten!!" Lisa exclaims, looking close to pinching his cheeks like a Grandma- though Lance only knew this through observation of their pod.

"Lance has a secret!" Rachel blabs, leaning over his shoulder with far more excitement than necessary.

He groans, pushing her away as he joins the other mers in cleaning up the reef, a twinge of guilt in his gut despite the cause of the storm being from someone else's power.

"Oh, what, does Grumpy blob have a crush or something?" Marco teases, elbowing Luis beside him.

Lance grumbles as he fumbles with the debris hes moving, internally cursing himself at the gasps around him.

"So! You're acting fishy because you're up to your gills in love!" Rachel swoons backwards into Marcos waiting arms.

"Oh Dios Mios." Lance would love for a cavern to open up, right now, beneath him, please.

The only Mers who don't treat him like Sendak's property and he wants to throttle them.

"I see it now!" Luis exclaims, never one to miss out on a tease, the traitor, "he's dizzy, dreamy, head up in the foam! His eyes have got a gleam in them, like there's no one home."

"Someone get this boy a coastal shelf to mope on!" Lisa instigates, laughter in her eyes.

"He's moody as a snapper! As sure as a dogfish bites, someone’s made him lose his head!" Marcos' grin is as lopsided as he is, floating above Lance's head, he shoves him away, wondering if he should just retreat.

"Seriously guys flip off, it's not gonna happen." Lance heaves a larger piece off the side as gently as he can, frowning at the coral beneath, it would take a lot of song and time for these poor things to come back.

"Come on tell us who the deep-sea hunk is!" Rachel leers at him, eyebrows dancing, behind her Lance glimpses Coran and Allura, one has a look of concern, the other… well Lance can't quite identify Alluras look.

"There's no deep sea hunk." Lance turns away, seriously debating finding that shark again.

There's a long pause, but Lances hope of them giving up is crushed when Veronicas panicked voice breaks the silence,

"Oh no. Please, please no. Lance please tell me you didn't go and," She cuts herself off, looking around frantically before coming in closer with a low hiss of, "seduce a human?"

Lance gives an indignant squawk,

"I did not, seduce, anyone!"

"But there is a human??? Lance, what are you thinking? Liking human stuff is one thing, but this- Lance what are you thinking??" With hands on his shoulders to hold him still, Veronica levels him with a desperate look.

"Ronis right Lance, the human world is no place for us." Luis, like everyone else, has taken on a serious face.

And those expectations are back. Those heavy looks, so much weight pressing into his chest, and yet no clue what it is they want from him. What it is they think he needs to do. 'Youre the future, Lance.'

"I don't know what it is you think is up there Lance, but just take a look around you! Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there." Lisa takes on a lighter tone.

Lance knows what's coming, knows because he's been told before, has tried to convince himself, but something always comes to remind him why he wants to escape.

"I mean seriously, what more are you lookin for? Up there they work all day-'' Lance pointedly looks at the debris he's clearing and Marco is quick to continue, "they're slaving away under the sun's hot rays. While we get to float around down here all the time, nice and cool."

Lance wonders what they do in their territory, for all of Lance's collection, it's taken him years of little moments of free time to gather stuff, and honestly half of it was Coran and Romelle gifting him stuff.

"And you know what they do to fish on land, they're either in a bowl or," Rachel runs a finger along her throat with a harsh click sound, "on the plate. Just imagine what they'd do to us!"

"Not to mention, they can't possibly beat our rhythm." Luis sports a confident smile, but Lance remembers the song he'd heard on that ship.

As if on cue however, the reef comes alive with song. Healing waves of energy that quickly distracts the mers before him, and Lance takes his chance and bolts with them none the wiser.

He heads towards his grotto, needing some peace and quiet before his inevitable summons. He liked the McClain pod, they'd been around as long as he can remember, but they always left him feeling like he was missing something. Not that they weren't missing some major parts to his story too, but Lance didn't want them to know either.

He enters his grotto with a tired sigh, running on no sleep and brain still too busy and anxious for it to come anytime soon. He takes in his collection, hoping for some comfort or peace of any kind. Anything to stave off what's to come-

"So you've finally returned."

Lance flips around fast enough to make his head spin, there looming in the shadows of the entrance, Triton now glowing with power,

"My. son."

…

Keith stalks through the halls of the palace, determined to find a ship, or a carriage, something so he can search himself. To find the boy who saved him, the one whose song rings in his head, the one who risked their own life to get him home alive.

"You aren't supposed to be out of bed yet."

He turns to see his mother, standing tall and regal, like the Queen she is, in the doorway to the dining hall. She eyes him, the bandage on his head, the scaring mark on his jaw, the unsteady walk of a sailor on land- and a waterlogged man who should probably be resting, maybe.

"I don't need rest, I'm fine." Keith wants to leave it at that, but of course,

"Join me for breakfast." She turns without his answer, not that he could turn her down.

They sit, eating quietly, but Keith is tense. He knows she wants to say more, but she takes her time, figuring out exactly what she wants to get across. After so many years away, only to return after news of her husband's passing, the two knew very little of interacting with each other. It was Kolivan and Shiro that kept them from having a bigger rift than they did.

"I don't want you going out there again. You need to be here, preparing for the throne."

Keith takes a breath, before he'll say something he'll regret,

"The boy who saved my life is out there. I'm going to find him-"

"Keith-"

Keith stands, chair falling behind him,

"I don't want to be king. I never have. I belong on the water-"

She slams her hands on the table, silencing filling the room,

"You are grounded. There will be no sailing, you will stay here and heal."

He stares at her, the woman who never cared to stay, who left his father to raise him. The woman who knew next to nothing of him, who wanted to trap him to this existence of walls and nothingness. He turns and storms out of the room, heading for the cliffs, anything to get away.

All he'd ever wanted, as a boy born on a ship but raised on an isolated island, was the open sea and sky, freedom that seemed so far from his reach. He was only able to grasp some semblance of happiness sailing on excursions to learn and trade, his brother- in all that mattered- right beside him.

And now, his soul tugs again, towards something- not quite new- but foreign in a way he'd never thought of. He's haunted, thinking only of a blurry memory of someone leaning over him, more of a feeling really, and a song he sings. A song that takes him, to places beyond his wildest dreams, to uncharted waters miles beyond the seas he knows.

Keith had been sure he was darkness bound, destined to drown at sea and never return home. Then, miraculously, he’s saved, pulled above the stormy seas and all the way to land, before being left alone, to stand on the shoreline while his mind remains lost at sea. He wishes only for him to be found again, so he can stop wondering about who he is, where he’ll be next, and to hear his song from the source rather than this echoing in his head. Someone somehow stronger than the undertow, yet able to glow silhouetted by the rising sun, to return him to land in only a night's time.

He won’t be able to get over this mystery, something- someone- so intriguing, there was no way he’d give up before it was solved. Somewhere, beyond where man can see, with eyes that outshine the horizon line, where they can face the unknown side by side. Whether on the shoreline where he was left, or where no compass or map can guide him, Keith would find this mystery boy, no one would stop him. It’d be easier, he’s sure, for this boy to find him once again, right where he was left, but good things aren’t always easy are they?

Throw whatever you have at me, wild uncharted waters, he’d face it all.

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snatcher-no-snatching · 3 years ago

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Had another dream in which hk and bk were my little siblings, though mainly involving hk (and also Empress?)

The three of us lived in a lil house in a city that I can only describe as Venice-like? As in, there were no roadways but lots of canals for people to get around in boats. The city was very colourful and lively, lots of art and music on display for all to enjoy. Strangely, we seemed to be the only human inhabitants. The earliest part of the dream I can remember involved us arriving home after grocery shopping to prepare dinner, but Hat Kid saying she wanted to go out exploring a little more. So she went out while Bow and I cooked, but rather than a boat of her own she had... some sort of friendly buoyant animal? It basically looked like a big, round, inflatable pool toy, yellow, and vaguely whale shaped but with lil cat ears. Strange but cute.

Anyway, Hat Kid rode around the canals on this thing, eventually arriving at a restaurant of some sort. The guy behind the counter was apparently familiar with her, 'cause he offered her some pancakes like she was a regular (There was also a sequence here where another server made the mistake of offering her a caffeinated beverage, but I'm skipping that for brevity's sake). So like, after eating n stuff she went outside and saw her buoyant lil friend had apparently floated away, leaving her effectively stranded. She asked around the restaurant if anyone had seen her friend, and eventually ended up in the bar next door. No one there had seen her lil buddy either, but the tall, sly looking cat behind the counter said her shift was over soon, so she wouldn't mind giving her a lift back home. Hat Kid accepted, and the cat introduced herself as "The Empress".

They got on Empress'.... "boat", which was really more of a floating cube? Anyway, it was dark as they travelled the waterways, mostly illuminated by the many art installations they passed by along the way. This is the part of the dream I remember most vividly, and it was very strange. The lighting cast dark shadows on the walls, and tall statues of bronze and stone surrounded them, depicting great battles and graceful dancing figures. Maybe it was a trick of the light and the clashing colours, but I could swear I saw some of them moving. Really, it's hard to describe just how surreal and beautiful it was, grotesque and amazing.

Regardless, Hat Kid was so entranced that it took a while before she noticed they weren't going in the direction of her house. When questioned, the Empress only replied with "....I have something I want to show you". Only a little apprehensive, Hat Kid didn't have much of a choice but to see where she was being taken, and was surprised to see they'd arrived at a grand museum. She was childishly excited, like "ooh, I know this museum! I come here with my siblings sometimes!" but went back to being confused as they went around back to a secret entrance. Empress said something to the effect of "My lab is down here", to which Hat Kid was once again naively excited, like "That's so cool, I have a lab too! I love science!" But as they disembarked and made their way under the building she was like "...So why was your lab built under the museum?" Empress only laughed: "More like the museum was built on top of my lab!" And said nothing else on the matter

They made it to a dark room, whith only some chairs and a mysterious drawn curtain. Empress took a seat and gestured for Hat Kid to open the curtains. I remember feeling kind of scared at this point, but still so curious, and also as if I didn't have any choice in the matter anyway. So Hat Kid opened them, and was very shocked to see a man, skinny and ill-looking, lying in a bed, hooked up to multiple machines that appeared to be either pumping or extracting a pink fluid to/from him. Not sure which. The fluid glowed brightly, basically illuminating the room, and the man had his eyes open, but didn't seem conscious. Despite all this, the thing that stuck out most was that he was human.

Horrified for reasons unknown, Hat kid turned to look at Empress for answers. "This man is like you," She said. I can't remember what she called it, but she gestured to the tanks of the pink liquid and said that he needed it to live, and so will Hat kid, eventually. She said she needed help gathering more of it, and that she's willing to employ HK's to do so. Before the conversation could continue any further, Bow and myself burst through the doors in a very dramatic "get away from her!" sort of moment. Empress whispered something to Hat Kid, then backed away as instructed. I picked both my little siblings up and the three of us made our getaway (I had a motorcycle, but like, a water motorcycle. Yes, it was very cool.)

It was around here that I gradually woke up, so it gets a lil foggy. Some days pass completely normally, except I notice Hat Kid getting gradually more and more tired during the day, and suspect she's been sneaking out at night. As a narrative, it'd make sense that she's going to see Empress, but I wouldn't know, 'cause like I said I was waking up at that point. Aaand... yep that's pretty much it thank you for your time

#sloppily copied from my dream journal with very few edits #my apologies for the length; I'm on mobile so there's no readmore option #long post #ramblings #yes I know the point of view is all over the place but I wrote this down quickly while it was still fresh in my mind #also dreams generally don't have a consistant viewpoint #or at least mine don't #wish my laptop were working; I'd love to draw some of this #especially hk's lil whale friend

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hawkbucks · 5 years ago

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Okay, so I usually don't send this kind of asks or prompts, because I don't have any wishes - I'm happy with whatever I get. But if you're up for it, I'd really love some HEAVY Tony-centric angst. Ship or no ship, whatever you prefer more, and sad end - or if you're not comfortable with that not more than a hopeful end. I just want you to crush my heart and make me cry. A lot. If that's nothing you want to write, that's okay, I love your writing anyway! Thank you for all your hc's and fics! :)

HELLO, FIRST OF ALL, I AM SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG AND SECOND OF ALL, THANK YOU FOR BEING WILLING TO WAIT.

I hope this quenches your thirst for angst! I’ll admit to not really? Writing angst that much? So I’m not sure how this holds up, but I hope it’s okay!

Loosely inspired by canon.

As a child, Tony comes to the realization that he is not meant to be loved.

His mother tries. Oh, God, she tries. She brushes his hair in the mornings, places bandages over his bloodied knees whenever he went to play out in the garden and inevitably fell due to an untied shoelace, but nothing--nothing--she does makes up for the way his father treats him, the way those barbed words wrapped themselves around his heart and lungs and squeeze until he could barely breathe.

See, dear old dad makes sure that his dissatisfaction with Tony makes itself apparent at every turn. Tony isn’t smart enough, he isn’t quick enough, he isn’t careful enough, he isn’t tough enough. He cries too much, clings too tightly to his mother, spends more days reading about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table than brushing up on his advanced mathematics courses.

“You're useless,” he remembers his father sneering, smelling faintly of alcohol and cigar smoke, while he desperately bites his lower lip to stifle his sobs as he picked up the remains of his toy car on the floor, “spending your time on those things instead of studying. I don’t see why Maria bothers. I certainly wouldn’t.”

Clutching the scraps of metal to his chest, Tony runs out of the room as fast as his legs can carry him. He throws them in the trash, nearly retching up his entire lunch as he does so before going into his bedroom and curling up in his bed, buried under a ridiculous amount of blankets. He doesn’t know what to do to make his father happy short of running away and risking his life on the streets.

He doesn’t know what to do to make his father love him.

He keeps to himself at school. People don’t seek him out, and he doesn’t seek people out. He gets labelled as the “eccentric rich boy,” which is fine by him.

Except there’s this other kid, James Rhodes, around 3 years older, that won’t stop trying to get him to come out of his shell. It probably helps that they’re roommates, otherwise Tony would be giving him a wide, wide berth. As in, making detours to the other side of the campus kind of wide.

“C’mon.” Rhodes slides him a plate laden with a microwaved chocolate croissant. “Talk to me a little.”

Tony eyes the plate. He hesitantly reaches forward, like he’s afraid that Rhodes is going to snatch it away from him at the last second, before bringing it towards himself. He nibbles at the edges of the pleasantly warm croissant. “Why do you care so much?”

“Because you seem scared every time that I see you?” Rhodes answers. “Listen, Tony, you’re young. Younger than anyone else on this campus. I’m... worried, you know? You need someone looking out for you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

“And I’m not trying to be one. I’m just saying that you’d be better off having someone who cares for you. I’m not going to swaddle you and put you in diapers.”

Tony wrinkles his nose. “You better not.”

Rhodes smiles at him. Tony finds himself smiling back.

It’s nice, having someone with him at school. He and Rhodes--or Rhodey, as he now calls him--are basically attached at the hip. They do anything and everything they can together. Tony has almost forgotten how it’s like to be this happy.

He tells Rhodey one day, tentatively excited, that he’s found this girl: Sunset Bain. She’s a brunette with hair all the way down to the middle of her back, she’s wicked smart with a rapier wit, and, most importantly, she doesn’t care that Tony’s a Stark.

“Stop growing up so fast,” Rhodey complains. “It’s making me feel old.”

“You’re 19.”

“I feel old.”

They go on dates--nice ones, but not expensive.

He has his first kiss with her. It’s quick and chaste, but he liked it. She doesn’t push him to go further, and for that he’s glad.

He holds her hand as they walk under the trees.

As it turns out, Sunset did a little snooping in his stuff when he’s distracted and made off with Stark company secrets right after they celebrated their 6th month together.

“Stupid boy,” his father snarls, slamming a hand down on his desk. Tony’s heard it all before, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. He doesn’t look up from the floor, hands clasped behind his back.

Tony croaks, “I didn’t--”

“Didn’t what? Didn’t think she’d take advantage of you? Did you actually think she loved you?”

Tony doesn’t respond. He doesn’t want to appear to be even more of an idiot, because, yes, he actually thought she loved him. She would whisper as much when they cuddled on the couch, anyway.

“Unbelievable,” Howard mutters, taking Tony’s silence as confirmation of that fact. “Get out. I have to deal with this mess that you made.”

Tony nods. “Yes, sir.”

He leaves, each step heavy. Everything after that is a blur. All he knows is that he left that room and he ended up back in his dorm, face down on the floor, sobbing his eyes out with a half-empty bottle of Vodka lying next to him.

His parents die at some point. Car accident.

He sobs into his pillow. He wishes--

He wishes he was in the car, too. At least he’d be with his mother.

Rhodey has been his anchor through all of this. He lets Tony ruin his shirts with his tears and his snot. He brings Tony coffee and cupcakes whenever he thought he could use some cheering up. Hell, he even offers to TP Sunset’s house--a tempting offer if he didn’t know that Rhodey would end up arrested for doing so.

Like most good things in his life, Rhodey ends up leaving to join the Air Force. Tony wishes he could be selfish enough to ask Rhodey to stay a little longer, but he doesn’t.

He gives him a hug and a pat on the back, and Rhodey is gone.

Rhodey tries to contact him. He calls, sends letters, e-mails, but Tony doesn’t reply.

He knows it’s self-sabotaging. He knows that it’ll end up ruining one of the rare positive relationships he’s ever had in his far too long-feeling life, but he doesn’t care.

He’s never deserved Rhodey’s love.

Tony is unsure if he should feel the glad the morning he wakes up and doesn’t see a missed call from Rhodes sitting in his inbox.

He drifts along in life. Stark Industries was handed over to Obadiah Stane, and Tony has no plans on taking it from him.

He drinks, orders takeout, spends his days on his phone or laptop. He’s rich enough that he doesn’t ever have to lift a finger to work in his life. It’s a boring--if safe--life.

Crossing the street one day, he literally runs into a guy: tall, broad shoulders, with pretty blond hair. He apologizes profusely, but the guy brushes it off, tugging him over to the other side when a car honks. “I’m Tiberius,” the guy says, holding a hand out.

Tony takes it. “I’m Tony.”

He falls in love with Tiberius fast and hard. It’s like Sunset, but a million times more intense. There’s just... something about the man that makes adrenaline pump in Tony’s veins and gives him a high that he has to spend hours shaking off afterwards.

Of course, he’s terrified. Rhodes isn’t going to be there if something goes wrong (and something usually does go wrong when he’s concerned).

Then Tiberius kisses him right before he leaves Tony’s apartment, and he melts.

“No one else could love you like I can, Tony,” Tiberius murmurs against his lips, the movie they were watching all but forgotten in the background.

Tony hums. He wraps his arms around Tiberius’ neck and draws him closer. Tiberius loves him. Maybe all of his insecurities were wrong.

“Ty,” Tony says in his best soothing voice. “Leave him alone. He didn’t know.” Tiberius is weirdly territorial. He won’t let anyone near Tony, man or woman, young or old.

“Like hell he didn’t.” Tiberius continues to glare at the trembling man in front of him. “I should knock his lights out.”

“Don’t.” Tony grabs onto Tiberius’ bicep and starts to pull him away. “C’mon, let’s just leave. We’re going to miss our reservation.”

Tiberius rips his arm from Tony’s hold. “Oh, so you’re siding with him? Maybe you should go on a date with him if you care about him that much!” He stomps away, leaving behind a scared, slightly frazzled Tony.

“I’m sorry about him,” Tony says to the man next to him, trying his best to put on an assuring smile. “He can get riled up.”

“It’s--it’s fine,” the man replies. “I should be the one apologizing to you. He’s... you’re going to be alright, right?”

“Of course I am,” Tony replies, confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

The man looks at him with pity.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Tiberius says, arms around Tony’s waist, kissing his neck. “I just love you so much.”

“Yeah.” Tony’s tone is empty. Tiberius has... well, he’s changed a lot. Tony thought that he was possessive before, but now he’s like a monster. All the woman did was wink at him and Tiberius yelled at her to the point where she was on the verge of tears.

He still loves Tiberius, though. He thinks he does. He’s not too sure. Tiberius loves him, though. He knows that.

Tiberius pauses. “Do you not love me anymore?”

“What?” Tony places his hands on Tiberius’ shoulders. “I do!”

“Why didn’t you say it back?”

Tony swallows. “I was... distracted.”

Tiberius narrows his eyes, gaze going steely. “Are you thinking about her?”

“Ty--”

“You are, aren’t you?”

“You’re being ridiculous--”

Tiberius’ hand moves up to the back of Tony’s neck, and Tony feels the ice cold grip of fear in his stomach. “Who else is going to love you if not for me, Tony? I’m the only one who can put up with you.”

Tony feels bile rise up the back of his throat. This isn’t healthy. This is far from it.

But if this is the kind of love that he deserves, then he’ll take it.

#Oh lordy what do I tag this with?#abuse tw #depression tw #alcohol tw #Hope those are fine. If anyone needs anything else tagged just say so!#justsomeoneunordinary

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maxheadley · 6 years ago

Text

A Little Confession.

Timothy's Imaginations: Chapter 10

Tad bobbed his leg up and down unyieldingly. He sat in the waiting room of a lonely clinic, where the walls were painted an unsatisfying shade of orange and the chairs were damningly uncomfortable. The clinic needed some serious TLC. The cracks in the leather of the chairs bothered him more than the disgusting orange walls. He shifted his numb bum about twenty times to find a comfortable position, though the position eventually became apparent it wasn't comfortable at all. Only briefly. He listened to the tick tock of the large antique grandfather clock next to him to focus on anything else other than his increasing worry about his best friend and erratic typing of the desk nurse.

He'd most likely freak out if the clock hadn't been ticking in his ear. The one thing he liked, something consistent, something unchanging. A clock never changed from it's ticking pattern to irregularities. He sighed, glancing at the clock reading where the hand rested. He'd been stuck in the waiting for about an hour. How long did it take for a doctor to examine their patients? Surely not this long, Tad thought disdainfully.

Suddenly, the door that lead towards the rooms where patients were examined swung open revealing a young doctor dressed in some tan slacks, a ugly blue sweater, normal shoes, and a oversized lab coat. He carried a clipboard and his overly large round eyeglasses were slipping down to the bridge of his nose. Behind him, Winnie walked, rubbing her paling tan arm awkwardly. Her nerves were frayed. He suspected. "Thaddeus.." Winnie pushed past the unaware doctor and hugged him tightly. Something felt wrong, but he didn't ask. He would probably hear it from the Doctor.

He kissed her temple as the man approached. "I am unsure what Winnie's infected with but we've drawn blood and had her do a urine test and we'll receive the results a couple days. But in the meantime, I've prescribed her some antibiotics to flush out the cold and help stabilize her breathing." The Doctor said so quickly, Tad had troubling putting the words into sentences.

"Okay, thank you. Is that all?" Tad was itching to get out of there. His paranoia began to bother him and he had a feeling a panic attack was on the rise. Something about this place seemed off. Surreal. Unethical.

"No.." The Doctor shot him a startled expression. "There's one other thing.. I have to ask why does she have a small incision on her throat?"

Tad wrinkled his nose, remembering how Winnie described Harley's attack and how the wire scraped across her throat drawing a few beads of unnecessary bloodshed. "Alarming as this may sound, she scratches her neck when she's extremely nervous and sometimes uses sharp objects and it causes scrapes or small cuts. It's no big deal." He lied, not wanting to divulge the truth to a complete and under stranger.

The man raised his unattractive, bushy eyebrows almost to his brown hairline. "Probably would be wise if you um made sure she doesn't use any sharp objects to inherently self harm."

"Yeah, I'll do my best." Tad awkwardly muttered.

Winnie settled on the comfortable seat of Tad's truck. She buckled up as he jogged around the vehicle to get himself in. He seemed tense. Something was off. She suspected the problem was the awkward, sterile setting of the clinic. He had always avoided being around doctors or hospitals, and rarely did her ever step foot inside a place that reminded him of a hospital. She observed him buckling his seatbelt and insert the key in the ignition.

Finally, after several minutes of observing his fast movements and frantic biting of his lower lip, she placed a small, clammy hand on his thin thigh and squeezed to gather his attention. She knew her voice was hoarse and didn't want to startle him using her froggy voice.

He placed one of his hands over hers and sighed, leaning the back of head onto the glass, smushing the long uncut pale hair against his skull. He closed his dark green eyes briefly. "I have to tell you something." He hadn't ignited the engine though the keys remained in the ignition, so he turned his entire body to face hers and lifted one shaky hand to caress her pale, sickly cheek. "And it may be awkward for us afterward. But promise me we'll be friends still?" He squeezed his eyes closed as if expecting her to reject him or something.

Winnie would never.

"I promise. Now, what is it?" She asked, trying to clear the saliva that gathered at the back of her throat away. Her voice never sounded more terrible than right then.

He opened her eyes and leaned forward about as much as he could do the seatbelt, and smashed his lips straight into hers. To her surprise, she allowed him. She could feel something in her core blooming as he kissed her consistently for those brief few seconds. She frowned, when he stopped and leaned back slightly. "I am in love with you. Have been for the past couple of years but seeing you be abused and hurt by others has made me realized I needed to tell and show you that I'd do anything to make you feel loved the way you deserved." He said breathless.

Beads of sweat sparkled on his tan forehead. His eyes were alight with passion and a film of undisguised love. How could she extinguish such a beautiful thing like him? He was perfection disguised under glasses and a giant sweater with either his nose in a book or his eyes trained on a laptop screen. He was a fire shrouded by a cloak of shadows. He needed to shine. Who was she to let the flames burn out? She couldn't.

"And I wish for you to be mine. In the ways that count." Tad said, breaking Winnie out of her small reverie. The innocent, vulnerable expression on his damningly handsome face pleased with her.

She pressed her index finger against the swollen bottom lip of his. She met his eyes. She saw the possibilities swirling in them, the countless opportunities and adventures they could have, the ideas they could attempt to create, side by side, together.

She knew what she had to do.

"Are you sure it is me you want?"

"I am positive you are what I need and want."

"Okay." Winnie licked her bottom lip drawing his eyes to her lips. "I'll be yours."

With that she sealed their new relationship with a simple, sweet kiss. One, which, warmed the inner broken parts of her heart.

After picking up Winnie's prescribed medication, Tad drove them back to the cabin to ignite the plan they devised and decided on the drive back. Winnie had her fever-ridden forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window. Her bright blue eyes suddenly brighter than they had been in many days. She watched the trees race past, listening to the tires of Tad's truck crunch over the pebbles and dirt, and the roar of the engine.

She couldn't shake the fear gathering in her belly as they neared their destination. What if their plan went wrong? What if the others tried to poke holes in their plan and mess everything up? Or what if Harley and Timothy retaliated and someone got hurt? She couldn't bare seeing another person hurt. Everyone was hurt enough already.

"Tad.. Did you call Wren like I asked?" Winnie asked, lifting her head up and adjusting her sitting position.

"Yes. He's meeting us there. I gave him the directions and told him to lay low and not attract any attention. If he did, we're screwed." He squinted at the rain stained windshield, the glare of the sun obviously bothering him.

"Wren's pretty intelligent. He's cunning and manipulative, " She paused, having to cough. "And he's resourceful. He'd weave his way out of any situation." She added, after about a minute.

Tad parked in the driveway of the cabin and glanced at her. "God. I hope this works." He muttered, unbuckling his seat.

Winnie scooted across the worn seat and cupped his cheeks. She kissed his lips lightly. "I promise you it'll work." She gave him a small, confident smile.

Tad opened his door and helped her out, not responding other than a measly nod. She suspected her had doubts nothing would go right. She grabbed the bag of medicine from the seat and started for the cabin, when a loud strange whistle caught her attention. She depicted where the whistling came from and saw Wren perched in a tree several yards away looking weirdly like Tarzan except wearing regular clothes and his hair was not long.

She made a quick, subtle gesture to Tad and detoured into the woods. She stopped at the foot of the large oak tree Wren sat in. "What in the world are you doing up there?" She shouted, but quietly. If she attracted her mother's attention, it was all over. Everything would go downhill from there.

Wren hopped down from the sturdy branch and landed neatly on his feet. He brushed a couple discolored leaves off his head and adjusted the misplaced strands before answering. "I was scouting out the location, figuring out the best place to strike." He said, like he did not just impressively leap from a tree and not break a leg.

"And did you?" Tad popped up beside Winnie casting subtle glances over his shoulder. Probably hoping Terra wasn't staring out the window.

"There's a backdoor and a large window that is weirdly open I could sneak through as long as you two provide a good enough diversion to help me get through without being captured." Wren said, flatly.

Winnie sighed, running a shaky hand through her black curls. "I'm sure we're in enough trouble to distract the hell out of my Ma and Davie."

"I don't disagree." Muttered Tad.

"Okay. So what do you want me to do once I'm in?"

"Well.." Winnie began.

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mama-ghostie-61542 · 4 years ago

Text

A Thousand Lifetimes

Rating applies--M++ for language and esoteric themes.

Also....If you recognize it, IT AIN'T MINE!

Some things may seem a little OOC, but I tried.

Chapter 1.

Security and the legal division had gone over both the kiosk recording and the box, the story, and had found nothing in it but papers. The legal department passed the written work off to the writing department.

The writers went over the work with a fine toothed comb and found it odd, but not bad. However, those pages were quickly repacked for delivery to the intended recipient, the box retied with care, and placed into the bin with all of the other packages to be delivered to the dorms.

It wasn't long before security added the video to a small drive and taped it to said box.

When it arrived, someone had taken the time to place it in another box. The weekly care packages from fans were separated and placed in the boxes for final delivery to the dorms.

Most of the other mail was letters, but Minhyuk noticed a non-descript box with Yoo Kihyun written on the side.

"Hey, Kik, did you order anything?"

"No," He replied shaking his head, confusion covering his face.

"Hmm. You have a package. Feels like a book."

"Why would a Monbebe send me a book?"

"Don't know. Guess you will have to open it. Maybe it's a cook book."

Kihyun PoV

It was still early, so I fixed some coffee and settled in on the couch, placing my box and mug on the coffee table. Last night had been a rough night. I had dreamed of her again; of those eyes I would know in the dark. The ones I had searched every fan for. It's why I like to hold their hands. My Ghost is good at cloaking her eyes, but the electric shock of recognition in the hands is impossible to hide or to fake. Honestly, it is a small part of why I decided to pursue music as a career, rather than a hobby. It was one of the few professions that I could meet a lot of people and maybe, if all the stars aligned, I'd find her. As I was already proficient in it, it made sense.

After that dream, which consisted of chasing her around a car with a water hose, the universe had left distinct impressions of her everywhere. From the ghost of her energy in the shower to the smell of her on my sheets. I swear, this morning, I felt like, if I turned fast enough, I would still see her watching my back. Good Mother, Please, this is going to drive me crazy today. But, as that thought crosses my mind, the Elders whisper back that it is something she herself is experiencing as well.

I scrubbed my face with my hands again, trying to rid myself of the lingering pressure of her fingertips, before I picked up my coffee and sipped at it for a minute. It helps, but fuck it hurts. The simple act of sipping this brew is almost enough to make me tear up, and I know, some how, it is just as bad for her. That the color keeps her thinking of me.

"What did you get," came a voice over my shoulder.

I looked to see HyunWoo with his own mail and coffee, sitting down across from me.

"Not sure yet," I answered as I shook my head, mostly to dispel the images that have suddenly popped into it; and set my mug down.

I was kind of afraid to open the box, because I sometimes get weird stuff sent to me from strangers. Not a single one of the million faces I have seen has been the one I see in my dreams. I know she is out there somewhere, but I am still not quite sure as to where. I wish I had a clue, just one, that would put me on the right track. I have almost begged the Ancestors, and I have asked her through whatever this connection is, but each time she answers, it's garbled. A part of me is certain she has wished for a clue, as well.

Sighing deeply to steady myself, I opened the box, only to find tissue paper and another box with post-it and a thumb drive attached to it. I tore off the thumb drive and read the post-it.

--Watch this. Do you know who she is?--

I was taken aback. That was an odd thing for security to say.

I went to grab my laptop and, after it finished booting up, slid the drive into the usb. The only file was a copy of the camera at the kiosk outside the main office. There, on that camera, was a woman. The slight breeze last night had made her ankle length cloak flutter around her, showing her clothes; faded jeans that lovingly hugged her hips and thighs, and a faded t-shirt. I tried to see her face but only the curve of her cheek and the cleft of her chin could be seen in the street lights. Oddly, they seemed very familiar.

As she came closer, the lights flipped on, and the hood further obscured her face. It wasn't until she got closer that I realized, she had a box with her. She gently placed it in the compartment that had been put there for the legal department's night deliveries.

I could hear her softly sigh and whisper, "No, I am enough. And this is enough. All I want is a twitch, just enough to know he is still there."

And then she stood and pulled herself up to her full height, maybe 165 cm, and turned those eyes to the camera.

My world stopped right there. For a minute, I forgot how to breathe. There were memories pulling in from every corner of the ether.

There she was. That face, those eyes that I would know in the dark and mostly dead. I know her, better than anyone else. Better, sometimes, than I felt I had a right to. She was there last night while I slept. But what she said next would shake me to my core.

"It is done. The ball is your court, now, my love."

I didn't even bother to turn off the computer as I reached across the table for that box. Whatever was in it was precious because it was from her, from my queen.

That name was one I had given her long ago. It's the only one I shared with the guys, but I had never told them why. It's the way she carries herself, confidant and regal like a queen. In truth, she is more like a queen than she knows. She is like a warrior queen of old; confidant in her abilities, humble before Spirit, and more than willing to take the hurt to defend those whom she cares for. I knew that first hand, as she had sacrificed for me, once.

That was one of the worst nightmares I have ever had. I knew it was an old memory coming up, but it still hurt. It always starts the same way, the feeling of being shoved out of the way. Next, comes seeing the light in her eyes dim as she fell to one knee. Then, I was holding her, rocking her and begging her not to go where I could not follow, to stay with me; as her life blood flowed from a place on her side. From that place where the bolt had sliced her as it went past. I whispered to her that I would find her, as her breath on my cheek stopped, and then screaming as she crossed the veil. The overwhelming sorrow suddenly gave way to rage. I laid her down and kissed her forehead, before racing off into the thick of battle; the loss tempering my resolve to let those troops feel how I felt. It was my own recklessness that had me charging into the thick of battle, blinded with tears and the sudden loss of our connection. I couldn't feel her anymore, and it felt like she had taken the better part of me with her. We had been trained to never fall into bloodlust on the field, but I readily gave myself over to it. I had gone no more than 30 feet from her before it all went black. In that berserker rage, that overwhelming grief, I left a path of death and destruction in my wake. I did not care what colors the men wore, as my broken heart lashed out with my blade.

That is one of the reasons I am glad to have my own room, here. At least this way, I won't wake the others with my nightmares anymore. Or the bittersweet dreams where I wake up crying for her all over again. In all honesty, she has always been my Ghost. Her eyes have been in all of those bittersweet dreams for years. You know the ones; the sweetest dreams that you don't want to wake up from, you just want to soak it all up because you know that the reality hurts. I am starting to think I will never find her.

I reopened the box, wondering who had closed it, as I glanced up to see Minhyuk wink.

Silently, I thanked the Elders for Min as I pulled the tissue away from the inner box and pulled it out.

My hands were shaking as I untied the black and red ribbon from the box, realizing its significance, and gently pulled off the lid. My heart sank as I realized the papers inside had been handled many times. It was truly a metaphor for our lives, our hearts and souls. Both had been handled many times before they finally came to rest where they were supposed to have been all along.

Sighing, I pulled the letter off of the top.

'Hey, Haka.'

I could not help the smile, then. Sheer relief coursed through me as I realized that she remembered. That name was a play on words that we both knew, an inside joke, if you will. See, it started out with her calling me Hawkie; the Crazy Hawk Flying Off On Every Wind. But it changed to Heyhaka; mostly because her ex-asshole claimed to be me. That pissed me off to no end. But I digress, in her culture, Heyhaka, the Elk, was quite the ladies man. She always said it was fitting, as he was the siren of the forest. Thus, when he sang, he could draw the ladies from far and wide to his lodge, having his pick of them whenever he chose to. However, even though she has called me her "Siren of Seoul," and sirens traditionally sang sailors to their deaths; I could never hurt her.

'I hope this finds you well and in good spirits. Please, for your own sake, do not run to me, my king. You and I both know you are bound by contract and we both know that the others would be at your heels.

Some may mistake your gentleness for something else; but make no mistake, my dear, I do not. You, my love, are more the pathfinder; determined to find the way to do what must be done, to find each and every loophole and exploit them to your fullest advantage. All the makings of a cherished, shrewd, and benevolent king; in my humble, yet honest, opinion.

Please, do not think me forward if I say that I dreamed of your eyes for many, many years before I ever saw them. I drew them from memory many times; but alas, the fire in them, the love, the passion, remains something ink and graphite cannot capture. Imagine my shock at seeing them, in this life, halfway around the world. I can almost see the soft smile in those endless pools now.'

She was right, I was smiling softly. The deep and abiding dedication to a souls love in those words, nearly brought tears to my eyes. I kept reading as I sat back, chewing on my thumb.

'And now you are on the verge of tears, chewing on your thumb and trying to hold it all in. Curled up somewhere soft and cozy, trying your hardest to not allow a single thing to be seen. However, my king, the knights have already seen the look on your face. It will not be long now and you will find either another cup of coffee or a mug of tea next to you. Please, tell my soul brothers I said Hello.'

About that time, Min and Honey brought me a mug of herbal tea and a blanket. I smiled. "The Queen says to tell her brothers 'Hello'."

Honey smiled and patted my shoulder, before dropping a kiss on my head and walking away, the shine of tears in his own eyes.

Min, on the other hand, sat next to me on the couch and tucked the blanket in around me. Then he hugged me. "If you talk to her," he whispered, "Tell her I am sorry."

"What for," I asked.

"She'll know," was his answer. After that, he quietly got up and left the room, taking my now cold coffee with him.

I went back to reading the letter.

'It is fitting that I should be nine hours ahead of you. I remember, you would always tell me, "Sleep now, my love. I'll keep watch." I always found comfort in that phrase, found peace in it; contentment. I generally have an awful time sleeping without remembering that simple phrase. My mind comes up with a thousand things I should be doing, to ward off the nightmares. But, somehow, the sound of your voice silences that one and that phrase is the sweetest lullaby in the world.

Sometimes, I can feel you here; feel you watching me, studying me. I'm not sure if you are asleep or meditating. It's never more than a whisper in my ear or the pressure of your fingertips on my chin. It's like knowing, somehow, that you are close, but you aren't really here. Some days, when I feel like giving up, I can feel you. Feel your gentle hands and hear softly spoken words of comfort. I draw strength from those moments.'

People have said that I seem to zone out sometimes, with a far away look on my face. The guys have called them my "Queen moments". I can never predict when they are going to happen. Once it was in the middle of a meeting. I sat there, that look on my face, and I could vaguely hear Hyun in the background, "Don't worry about it. He's having a moment with his queen. He'll snap out of it soon." About that time, I did come out of it. I have been doing it, unconciously, since childhood.

My Queen, however, doesn't know that I take comfort in those times, too. The simple, "Easy, Killer" when I am mad or the "I'm here" during those bittersweet dreams. The way her spirit steps up behind me when I am working on something and getting frustrated; the way she holds me, with her hand over my heart, and her snout pressed into the back of my neck. My spirit can do no more than calm down. I don't think she realizes that she does the same for me. But that is the way we work, neither of us have to say much, we just do and it fits.

I go back to the letter again.

'Please, my love, wait to decide your next step until you have read all of the story. You and I both know how impulsive you are, and this will be tough going. There are clues scattered in the reading as to where I am. Hopefully, you are still as amazing at the art of reading between the lines as you used to be.

Heyhaka, I want you to hear this now. I will never interrupt your flight. EVER. Because I want you to fly, as far and as high as you possibly can. Because I want you to be happy. And I don’t mean, just a little happy; I mean inordinately, passionately, incandescently happy. That is the kind of happy that you deserve. So, if I don't hear from you, I understand. I can't say it won't hurt, but as long as you are happy, I'll be ok.

That said, I will end with this; I hope you remember the words we always said when parting, for any reason...

Where you go, my heart goes.

All my love, heart and soul.

Your Wolf Queen.'

I smiled softly as I refolded the letter and gently smoothed said missive. As I leaned forwards to the box on the coffee table, I heard a whistle from the easy chair across from me.

I look up to see HyunWoo handing back my closed laptop and the drive.

"I closed that so little brother didn't see. Didn't think you wanted him to see her. She's beautiful, by the way," he said as he handed over the drive. As he strode back to his chair, he stopped to pick up the ribbon that had been around the box. "Wonder why she picked black and red. 'S a little morbid."

I smiled, glad that I had been open with them about that part of me. Taking the ribbon from him, I said, "At one time, black was the color of life, as good, fertile dirt is black. Back then, red was for more than luck. It was fire that transforms, passion, rebirth, and drive; as well as a persons life-blood. But this way, with the black on either edge of the red, and the red very thin, it's a symbol of distress; akin to blood on a ravens wing. It would have been good to see the way she had originally tied it. The Elders taught us seven sacred knots. All of our tied messages held a certain meaning. Tied one way, with this ribbon means, 'Send Help. I'm stuck', and another way, it signifies an impending union. If the colors were flipped and it were tied a third way, this ribbon would signify a new birth."

HyunWoo nodded, taking it in. "Seems like you could carry on a whole conversation by the knots."

"You can. We had to communicate via birds during wars. Most had a special meaning. If it had come on a raven, it meant that the sender was a captive or had been enslaved. On a mourning dove, it means "I am stuck here missing you," Then, I softly smiled, "Thank you for this, by the way. She's more than beautiful, She's perfect."

He chuckled, "You sound like you are already starting to fall for her."

Gently touching the drive in my left hand, I laughed, "Starting? No. I have loved this woman since I was 15. Since I was old enough to remember what that feeling was."

"You are a very lucky man."

"I am extremely lucky," I said as I sat down the drive and ribbon, and again, reached for the box. Opening it, I found each chapter stapled together, but independent of each other. I sat the first one on top of the box; then tucked both the ribbon and drive in my pocket before stacking the box on my laptop, and stood to leave when I heard Changkyun behind me.

"What's in the box?"

HyunWoo answered before I could, "Leave it be. It's from his queen."

He smiled as he looked at me. "She finally found you?"

I nodded, clutching the box to my chest, eager to get to my room and start reading.

"Wow. I'm so happy for you," he smiled, but his smile held pain.

I set off into the kitchen to drop off the mug of now cold tea but before I got there, I heard someone ask

"What's for lunch?"

"Get it yourself. Your hands aren't broke," I replied as I set off down the hall, chuckling to myself that I had been channeling her for a moment.

I was almost to my door when a hand closed around my arm. I turned to see Honey, his eyes slightly puffy and red rimmed, obvious signs of tears.

"If you need to talk about all this," he said pointing at the box I had clasped to my chest, "I am willing to listen." Then, he headed in the direction I had just came from.

I made it to my bed and sat back. Next, I pulled the ribbon from my pocket and tied it to my left wrist in an elaborate knot that meant "On my way'. Then, I sighed to steady my heart, and started to read.

Chapter 1

2019--Chicago, Illinois; USA

Kihyun PoV

We were on the North American leg of our tour. Chicago is a beautiful city, but there was a strange, tug in my chest. Over our three days there, I got a little used to it. At first, though, the sharp yank hurt like hell. It made me feel like I was about to throw up that first time. My already vivid dreams of my Ghost somehow got sharper and the longest they had ever been.

Our last day, had been a very busy day, and I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. I am not generally that tired after a show, but between that and that weird pull, I must have been more exhausted than I thought. I know I slept deeply for a bit, because the next thing I remember was being in the woods.

The fog rolled in quickly and I heard a voice that I had only ever heard in dreams or if I were sick or scared. The fear in her voice nearly crushed me. Her fear sent me into panic mode.

"Haka! Heyhaka! Where are you?! I can't find you. Where are you," She yelled, her voice raising with her panic.

It was at that point that I set off at a run. I had to find her. I could nearly feel the leaves and muck under my bare feet. But, at that exact moment, the already dense fog became even thicker, if possible. As I ran, I heard the slight trickle of water over stones. Finding a wide creek, I decided to follow it.

Had she had these dreams as well? Had I forgotten to block her one night and she had seen it from my perspective?

"Wolf," I yelled into the mists.

"Haka! Over here," She returned.

"Keep yelling! I'll find you!"

She started screaming unintelligible things at that point.

Following her shrieks and cries, I finally found her, tied to a tree on a small island in the middle of the creek. She was bound by vines, from her hips down, so there would have been no way for her to escape. I saw her strong, gentle hands claw at the vines holding her.

Then she reached for me.

"Haka. Help me. I can't get out," Her voice mirroring my own panic.

The instant I picked up my foot to go to her, to leap across the creek to free her; a second set of vines sprung up around me. I could feel the darkness coming off of them. I grabbed hold of them and reached for her.

"Reach. Reach," I shrieked as I reached for her.

I could tell that we were both extended out as far as we could. Our fingertips were just touching, not enough to hold onto one another, not enough to find purchase; but just enough to brush upon each other. However, each time our fingertips brushed against each other, there were visions; memories, that spewed forth.

I admit, I got pretty angry by this point. "I will find you," I yelled as the vines dragged me back and the mists turned to darkness.

"I Will Find You," I yelled as everything faded back to black.

'Yes,' I thought, 'I will find you. I have not forgotten. Nor am I likely to.'

Then, I woke up enough to feel a hand on my shoulder, "KiKi. Wake up. It's just a dream."

I looked over my shoulder to see Lee Jooheon sitting at the edge of my bed, with his hand resting against my shoulder, his eyes filled with concern.

"Are you alright," he whispered, careful not to wake the others. I had somehow forgotten that everyone had crashed in my room. It is an open secret that I have some pretty nasty dreams.

I shook my head as I curled around my pillow. "Nightmare," I replied as I lost myself in the memory of the dream for a minute. I could still smell the forest, feel the mists on my skin, feel her fingertips scrambling for purchase with mine. Her voice and my promise were still ringing in my ears. It was mere seconds before the soul crushing despair at our situation set in and I did my best not to cry. Knowing she was trapped hurt more than anything.

The gentle tug on my sweatshirt drew my focus back to him. "Downstairs. We'll talk there," He whispered as he threw his feet into his sneakers and waited for me to do the same.

We quietly let ourselves out and went down to the all night café across the street.

Nothing was said as we got our coffees and slid into a small booth at the back of the room.

"Talk," He said, his voice heavy with concern.

I shook my head, "I can't put it into words."

He sat back, his eyes both wise and playful. Until they lost all the playfulness and took on a hard edge.

Honey PoV (A/N--Weirds me out.)

"Either talk or let me see."

That was something I never let on to be able to do. In truth, only he knows about it. See, sometimes, I can see things. If I hold someone's gaze too long, I can catch snips of thoughts, dreams, nightmares, and feelings. It is like picking up what has been left on the cutting room floor and using it to make a movie. I don't ever get the full picture but I see enough to get the idea. See, when I have been conned into doing aegyo, my eyes are a little crossed so I am not seeing things.

Kihyun sighed finally, "It's the same nightmare I have had since I was 14. It has never changed, but this time was more detailed, sharper. Only the woman in it and I have ever changed, we've aged. She used to be so pretty; thick chestnut waves that flowed down her back and hazel eyes with an inherent wildness in their depths." His eyes grew softer as he spoke of her.

"The nightmare," I asked again as I stared at him, tapping my fingertips on the table, hoping my gaze would push him to tell me. Seeing what others can isn't always pleasant, and sometimes, it's downright painful; but in this case, it's dead useful.

The more he tried not to talk, the more resolved I was to do this the hard way. Seizing an opening, I grabbed his head, placing my thumbs on his forehead, just above his brows. Then, I gently placed my forehead on his and said, "Look At Me," in the sternest tone I could muster.

His eyes opened and peered over the rim of his glasses. The image that came forward was of a woman, with blue green eyes and closely cropped chestnut hair containing more than a few strands of white. Her hands were fighting and clawing at the vines that held her slim hips firm in their grasp.

Her skin had a coppery hue to it, exactly like the milk caramel hard candies my mothers uncle insisted on sending us every year. This led me to, check her eyes, momentarily. Which only served to confirm my suspicions. She has indigenous blood in her, albeit watered down. However, one wouldn't see it if they didn't know what to look for; it's in the subtle almond shape to her eyes, her high cheekbones, and, the way her skin had taken on a soft, coppery glow in that single shaft of sunlight.

Her boyish figure was accented nicely in the diaphanous gown she wore. The way the gossamer fabric folded in about her tiny waist, only to expand and gently loop over broad, yet feminine shoulders. Those same structures led down into strong but gentle hands.

There, around her arm and peeking out from under her dress were lines and whirls of ink. On her left arm, she wore leaves of ranks. A Ghost? But they are rumored to have been killed off long ago. She must be the last. This is like finding a unicorn. There were also vines, small blossoms I did not recognize, and a tiny Leo symbol in the ranks on her arm. Around her right ankle, there was a thin, black band. Joy, so not only the last Ghost, but a Posted one as well.

Now, I had heard stories of the Ghosts, but at the time, I thought they were all just tall tales. But this one was nearly a four star general in her own right. It made no sense why she would be Posted and in Kihyun's dreams, unless...Unless, he was her Guard.

Taking a second to look at the surroundings, lead me to understand where she was. As the vision faded away, I heard her voice in his head,

"Haka. Come home."

The sorrow in her voice was almost too much. However, in the next breath, it was matched in his whisper.

"Soon, Mami. Soon."

"Mami," I asked as I sat back, a smile slowly spreading across my face. "You call her 'Mami'."

"Shut up," he growled.

"What? I happen to think it's cute. She call you 'Daddy'?"

"No," He chuckled. "Haka most generally. 'Papi', but only if I am calling her 'Mami'. The odd 'Hawkie', if she's playing. 'Heyhaka' if I am in trouble. 'Asshole' if I have been making promises I can't keep...again."

"We will revisit that last bit in a minute. Has her hair always been that short? With that much gray?"

Kihyun sighed and smiled gently, "No. It used to be long and thick with waves for days. But after the first few times, there were bruises, and then she shaved it all off. The gray is a recent development."

I sighed. "Abuse victim, if she cut it after a few bruises. Wow, must be super stressed for it to turn that quickly. Did you take in anything in the environment of where she was?"

He shook his head, "No. I was too focused on her."

I nodded. "I would be too. There was an old tree that looked like it was half dead, and some turtles around the shore."

"Hmm," he hummed as his brow furrowed. "Not sure what that could mean."

I sighed. "The indigenous peoples of the Americas called the continent 'Turtle Island'; and, judging by the shape of her eyes and the color of her skin, she has one of said nations blood in her veins. The half dead tree is symbolic of the current unrest here."

He seemed to deflate a little bit. "So she is an American mixed blood?"

I nodded. "Yeah. So, just how many promises have you made?"

"Mmm, ten, I think," He answered, his brow furrowed.

"Only ten?"

"No, I lost count around ten."

Shaking my head, I chuckled. "Oh boy. When was the last time you really promised her something? That you remember?"

He sat there thinking for a minute. "That time I had my appendix out. I was all of 17. I saw her and the fire and the moon and I followed the pull. I just stood there and swayed with her there. I know I woke up a few days later kinda sad."

"Oh, God," I growled as my head fell into my hands. "Do you remember what you said?"

"Not right off of the top of my head. Sorry," he replied.

"Hmm. You may need to let me see. If you did what I think you did, this dream is calling you home."

I leaned forward and placed my thumbs in the exact spots they had been earlier. He opened his mind to me and I saw...

"Even if I search for all of my days; it will only ever be you. I promise you, my queen, here and now, I will find you; even if I live a thousand years. No matter what happens, I will always find you. No matter the time or the distance, I will find you, my love. We've got this, Mami. I have not broken my oath yet, nor will I ever. "

Sitting back, I sighed, "Yep."

He looked at me with fear in his eyes, "What?"

"You tied yourself to her, or should I say re-tied. I'm not sure whether to smack you or congratulate you," I stated as I sat back in the booth and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What," He said again; a look of confusion clouding his features.

Shaking my head, I sighed. "I mean, Numb-Nuts, that you took an out of body, walk about and danced in the moonlight with your Ghost. I mean that you are married, KiKi. VERY Married."

"Hold up! I have NEVER met her in my life! How is this possible? It was just a dream...wasn't it," he exclaimed, his hands flying. The disbelief on his face was as plain as day.

I sat up, "Uh-Uh. You have met," I said as I held up a finger. "At least once, although probably not in this life. And as for the 'I never met her' thing, you didn't have to. You have each others names written on your souls. So, if you took a walk out your body during surgery, where would the Elders send you? I'll take 'Straight to her' for 1000, Alex."

"Whoa," he sighed as the realization hit him. He flopped back into the seat. After a few minutes, he said, his brow furrowed in thought, "That explains a lot, though."

"What does it explain?"

"About ten years ago now, she got married. She told me he was there and real; that she was tired of waiting. I told her that it would never work. That the piece of her I had, I would not give up."

"Urgh," I growled. "So she picked what was easy over what was right? And you are just asking for trouble. Angering a Ghost is never smart."

"But you just said she is real."

"She is. Did you not see her tats?"

Kihyun sat up and shook his head. "No."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "From where her neck connects to her shoulder on the left to halfway down her forearm and wrapping over her ribs and legs, all the way to her toes. You could see them through her dress in places. The ones on her arm are ranks."

Suddenly, he got rather angry. I seized the chance and let my eyes un-focus a little. There they were. His own ranks began to unfurl over his skin and I could see he was a single rank below her, but also her Guard. Slamming his hands on the table, he jumped up and yelled, "You looked at my wife?!"

I groaned in frustration and pulled at my hair. "No, you moron, I did not look! You looked. I saw. Besides, you refused to claim her less than 5 minutes ago! Make up my fuckin' mind, will ya. Do ya want her or not!?"

"Yes," he shouted, but then deflated, sank back into the seat, and whispered, "What happens if I find her though? She is soo much older than I am. Don't get me wrong, I-I don't mind, but...," Kihyun trailed off.

"Hmm," I thought. "The way I see it, you two are stuck on either side of an ocean, but you are like magnets pulling at each other from across the distance," I said as I held up my fists and put them across from each other, inching them closer together. "The vines are trying to keep you both tied to where you are. They are physical manifestations of someone or something trying to keep you two apart," I said as I made my fists to look like they were being kept away from each other. "Now, If either one were to cross said ocean, without those bindings, you two would inevitably collide. And that colliding," I continued as I brought my knuckles together and made them look like an explosion, "would either completely destroy each other, or it would be the most beautiful, loving, passionate relationship known to man or beast. However, within that, you two will butt heads, because you are both so stubborn."

"How can you tell?"

"Two ways, You are both fixed signs, Scorsaggio and Leo," I stated as I held up one finger.

"How did you know that," He asked.

"Her tattoos. One is a Leo symbol. And two, because, neither one of you took that leap of faith when you first had the chance. Not that she had much of a chance to start with."

"What?"

"When those mists parted enough for you to see her, she was already bound. And from that thin black band around her ankle, she is tied to the Earth; well and truly a Posted Ghost.. Hobbled, more or less."

"So I would have to go to her either way. My leap of faith would have to be early. I'll test it next time," He nodded.

"As for the new details, it could be that she is close. Or, at least than closer than Seoul."

He nodded. "Which would explain why the first time I had the entire nightmare was while visiting my uncle in Texas. Also explains why it is so much sharper here, than there in Texas; so she is much closer to here. So where are you thinking of spending your break," he asked, deftly turning the conversation away from her.

"With my adopted sister. It will be a week, here in the States, with my big Sis and her family!"

"I didn't know you had older sister."

"Adopted. We adopted each other. We met in that lo-fi channel I listen to."

"Oh, yeah."

"Yeah. Bryn just turned 38, is married to the worlds biggest douche, and she's a mom. She wanted a little brother she didn't have to take care of and I agreed. I wanted an older sister who wasn't such a pain in my ass. That much older, and she is more like a cool auntie."

Kihyun PoV

Weeks went by, we were back in Seoul, and Honey's words were still stuck in the back of my head.

The next time I had that dream, I threw a rock into the water. It sounded much deeper than it looked. The first time I tried to cross it, I got swept away. The second time, I crossed it early and by some miracle made it to the island, only to be attacked by the turtles. For slow moving reptiles, those tiny box turtles hit hard. One shoved me off of the island and I got swept away again.

I will admit to meditating more than normal. But it had an added effect. I found I could reach out to her better than if I had been drinking or if I was exhausted. The connection is better, stronger, somehow. Drinking has never really been my thing. Mostly because when I drink, I start screaming at shadows and bawl my eyes out over her. Then, I work myself up to the point where I hurl...and then, I pass out. The guys have had to bring me back before, I either shadowbox at nothing or I turn into dead weight. Min says I usually do the former.

It must have worked, though, because as soon as I laid my head down, I dreamt of her again.

I feel her soft skin against mine, my name written on her chest, over her heart; in a language I could not read but somehow knew. I hear her say something about an upcoming battle, as she steps away, and I hear myself say to her, while staring deep into those gorgeous green blue eyes, "Wherever you are will always be home. I refuse to be parted from you, Ghost." I grab her arms and haul her to me, rather roughly, "I promise you, here and now, there will never be a lifetime that you are without me. I will find you; no matter the time or the distance. You are mine to protect; mine to defend. Mine." Somehow my hands are suddenly cupping her face, "My Queen." But then it changes and I am holding her, as her blood flows from a mortal wound. "I will find you, my love," I whisper as her breath on my cheek stops, "I will find you," I sob as I cradle her body close to me, rocking her through the screaming. Which, I suddenly realized, was me, keening out my own heartbreak.

This time it was HyunWoo who woke me up.

"Kihyun, are you alright?"

"Yeah," I answered gruffly. All I wanted was to be left alone or to shower; either way, I could bawl in peace.

"Really? Cause you were screaming."

"I was?"

"Yeah. Like somebody died."

Somehow, I fought back the tears long enough to choke out, "Go get Honey."

HyunWoo took off at a sprint and came back a few seconds later with Honey.

He no more than made it in the door and knew what had happened. He smiled softly and whispered, "You dreamed about her again didn't you?"

It was all I could do to nod. The lump in my throat and the tightness in my chest were growing by the minute, right along with the burning in my eyes. I wanted to scream. I wanted to rage, at myself for not keeping that promise; at him for not protecting her when I couldn't. And sadly, I was angry with her for taking a blow that had been meant for me; for sacrificing herself for me.

I wanted to shriek with a pain I could not name. It hurt like hell. And while my heart squeezed, my soul felt like it was tearing apart at the torture of having to relive it.

"Now, you know how she feels. If she is older, she has seen it many times more than you have."

That one thought alone nearly crushed me. No, I simply could not handle my queen feeling this way; it was absolutely unacceptable.

I sat back to breathe a minute and collect myself. Had she really seen that? Had she watched it differently? She was right, her own pain was unacceptable. It near killed me to know that she had seen her own death, and my reaction to it. I could only hope she did not see what I did in my grief. She would have been so disappointed.

Silently, I grabbed the next chapter out. Then, I carried the first to Honey.

"You and Min should read this," I said as I handed it to him. "It's as much to do with you as me. I had better get this back in exactly the same condition I am handing it over in...Or I tell HER, and let her take it out of your ass."

Both men paled slightly. Guess, after all this time, they are still a little afraid of her.

"We will be extra careful with it," Min said.

As I made my way back down the hall, I heard someone yell.

"What's for supper?"

"Order take out. Leave me alone," I answered as I shut the door.

In twenty minutes, Honey was at my door with supper.

"Went to Mickey's. I got you some nuggets with barbeque sauce and a sweet tea."

"Awesome," I grumbled as my stomach growled.

After a little over a minute, he asked, "Everything ok? Not like you to shut yourself away like this."

"After what I read today, I guess I am just a bit pissed off."

"At?"

"Myself," I sighed. "I said some pretty awful things to her in the past and I am not quite sure how to fix it."

He just laughed as he sat in the chair by my bed, "You just apologize and hope it's enough. Sissie is a whole lot stronger than you think," he said as he pulled out a double quarter with cheese and started to unwrap it.

"You jerk. You got a huge burger and stuck me with the nuggets."

Reaching in the bag, he pulled out another and tossed it towards me. So, I handed over five of my nuggets.

After he swallowed, he said, "Kinda like the old days, huh? Eating spartan, far from home, with your brother-in-law. All that is missing is a fire and a few horses," he laughed as he waved his hand in a circle out in front of us.

I chuckled but he could tell I wasn't laughing.

"C'mon. Talk."

"What if it doesn't work out?"

He snorted as he took a sip of his soda. "You don't know that sister like I do. That girl is the epitome of stubborn. She will move heaven and earth to make sure it works out."

I sighed and nodded.

"Besides," he continued, "If something happens, I drop a bug in Moose's ear and let him and the twins drag her back."

I looked at him over the rim of my glasses, "You wouldn't."

He just laughed, "Kicking and screaming, if need be. Course, if Elm gets to her first, he'll just blister her ass."

"He'd better not. My Queen arrives in less than her current condition and I won't be too happy," I replied. Just then, I took my first sip of tea. It was ok, but not like hers. Just made me miss her more.

"What's wrong? Old?"

"No. But my Queen makes better tea in her sleep."

He clapped his hand on my shoulder and chuckled, "That she does. That she does."

Supper was finished and cleaned up with little in the way of words spoken after that. The evening saw me curling up in my bed with a coffee and the second chapter.

A/N- "If there is a worse place than hell, I am in it." A. Lincoln.

Feels like that today.

#original writing #original fiction #twin souls #soul connection #monsta x fic #kihyun #soul mates #past life

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