#wish i could explain how funny i think kiss print tattoos are

[hey-cringelord]

making shit up is so fun. like, i could say pro ball player kuramochi youichi has one tattoo, and its a kiss print tat on his hip. drunken stupidity. the people don’t know the kiss print is from miyuki kazuya, another famous pro ball player, nor that miyuki has a matching one

my first thought was one has it on one hip and the other on the opposite, but then remembered people commonly get these on their asscheek. cue the miyuki that lives in my head going “(gojo laugh) now you’re always kissing my ass!” so. well… here we are

(could you imagine a retired coach kataoka hearing about two of his old first-stringers getting kiss print tats from each other? glare so strong kuramiyu could feel it cross-country)

[artificialqueens]

Envious (Branjie) - Ortega

a/n: hello ya big lovely bastards it’s ya gal ortega back on the scene with this wee bit of filth i promised was coming over on my blog about a month ago! thank u very much to everyone that’s waited patiently! without further ado i wish all of my readers a very pleasant jealous exes makeup sex fic xo

(this fic is sponsored by envious // aluna, go listen to it it’s is the exact vibe)

fic summary:

yeah, you got some nerve

standing over there with her just to make me mad

(or- Brooke and Vanessa are ex girlfriends at a party both missing each other and wanting to make the other jealous so Brooke spends all night flirting with Priyanka and Vanessa spends all night flirting with Kameron until neither of them can keep up the charade anymore and they go and have jealous makeup sex in the bathroom)

***

The room is dark, the music is loud, and she’s over there.

Brooke wonders if she knew she’d be here tonight. She probably did if the outfit she’s wearing is anything to go by; black lace bodysuit that’s see-through everywhere but where Brooke wants it to be, vinyl red snake print skirt that’s too short and too tight and is going to make Brooke have a heart attack. She’s not chosen heels tonight. Instead she’s in a pair of scuffed black Superstars with three gold stripes which are stained with the spilt alcohol of parties gone by. Brooke always thought it was adorable when she accepted her short stature, always used to love the way she’d have to go on her toes if she wanted to kiss her.

Which used to be all the time. And now it’s not.

Instead she’s leaning against the counter in the kitchen and talking to some tall Amazonian goddess with tumbling blonde ombré hair, long legs and intimidating-looking muscles which tell Brooke she wouldn’t win against her in a fight. Not that Brooke’s going to fight her, of course. Even if the way she tucks her hair behind her ears and laughs softly as her conversational partner screeches out a story makes Brooke want to tip the entire contents of the punch bowl they’re standing beside over her head.

“Anyone sitting here?”

Brooke blinks, a little caught out, and follows the voice to make sure it’s actually talking to her. She is pleasantly surprised when her gaze falls on a tall girl with a shock of long, straight, bright orange hair, with long eyelashes and dark eyes and full lips. She’s wearing a denim skirt with a set of metal buttons down the front and a safety pin masquerading as one at the bottom. She also appears to be part of the bodysuit club (was there a dress code? Did Brooke miss a memo?) except hers is white, long-sleeved, tight and ribbed.

Brooke might still be hung up on her ex but she knows a pretty girl when she sees one, and she runs her tongue over her teeth before she smiles. “Nope, you’re good.”

The girl grins gratefully and flips some of her hair over her shoulder before sitting down next to Brooke on the battered leather sofa. She’s close and Brooke can smell her perfume, the overpowering cloying-ness of it rendering it instantly recognisable as some Thierry Mugler invention. It’s only then that Brooke registers she’s got two drinks in her hand, and she’s holding one out for her to take.

“You want this?” she asks cheerfully. “It was meant for my friend but I think she went off to get high or something, I don’t know. Anyway, it’s yours now.”

The outgoing nature of this girl is only serving to take Brooke’s mind off of the one on the other side of the house. That’s good. She doesn’t want to think about her, or the way that she’s almost pressed up against that other bodybuilder girl, or the way that that used to be them.

Brooke blinks slowly in an attempt to hit refresh on her mind, not to dignify those thoughts with any more time. She thanks the girl and sips at the curious red liquid in the cup, narrowing her eyes a little. “What’s in this?”

“Fuck knows. It’s the punch from the kitchen,” the girl shrugs, then raises an eyebrow at Brooke. “I mean there’s no roofies, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No, I wasn’t…God, sorry-”

“Chill. I’m kidding,” the girl quirks a smile, and Brooke relaxes a little. Fuck, this is hard. She’s out of practise more than she’d care to admit. Luckily though the girl takes the lead again, flicking her hair once more and exposing a huge gold hoop hanging from her earlobe. “I’m Priyanka.”

“I’m Brooke,” Brooke follows suit. How can it possibly feel weird to introduce herself to someone else? “So, uh. How do you know Yvie?”

“We do netball together,” Priyanka explains, fishing something out of her drink with a long acrylic nail. “I mean, just for fun. Neither of us are actually on the team. I’m pretty much still at the stage where the ball comes towards me and I scream so loud all the insects in a five mile radius pass away.”

Brooke can’t control the way she snorts out a laugh at Priyanka’s unexpected turn of phrase. She’s funny, and that’s always been attractive to Brooke. She remembers the way someone else used to make her laugh like that, the absolutely off-the-wall observations she’d hit out with. Brooke’s thinking about her again, and she finds her gaze shifting through to the kitchen.

When Brooke’s eyes land on her, she finds she’s already staring her way. Staring at her and Priyanka sitting close together on the sofa, and Brooke having just laughed the way she used to laugh with her. And her face is like a storm cloud brought to life.

Brooke feels a little spark go off in her gut a bit like she’s won something, so she casts Priyanka a big smile, one that she attempts to make literally sparkle. Brooke reaches out and touches Priyanka’s knee lightly, can practically hear the girl on the other side of the room hiss.

“You’re funny,” Brooke simpers, and Priyanka tries to suppress a smile but fails.

“You’re cute,” she replies, and a firework goes off in Brooke’s brain.

***

“Son of a bitch,” Vanessa finds herself muttering under her breath.

“What?”

Her gaze snaps back to the girl in front of her. Kameron, the girl that works at the gym with muscles that make Vanessa wonder if she could pick her up and hold her against the wall if they made out. The girl who’s tall and blonde and who, if Vanessa squints a little, looks just like her ex.

Her ex who’s currently sat in the living room dressed in the tightest pair of blue jeans imaginable (Vanessa knows the ones- they make her butt look way too good) and an illegally tiny pink crop top, practically in some other girl’s lap, laughing and flirting and touching and doing entirely too much.

But Vanessa’s not thinking about her right now. She’s moving on. She’s talking to a hot girl with tattoos and ripped jeans and a flannel shirt tied around her waist and short nails on her middle and index fingers.

Or at least she’s trying to. If her ex wasn’t distracting her by laughing so loud the whole party is practically deafened.

“Sorry,” Vanessa smiles apologetically, bats her lashes a little. “What were we talkin’ about?”

“You were telling me about your course,” Kameron raises an eyebrow at her. “And then you got distracted by that girl over on the sofa.”

Fuck. Vanessa needs to save the situation. Kameron is incredibly gorgeous and Vanessa’s goal is to go home with her tonight, be underneath her between the hours of 1 and 4am and all the while run the risk of accidentally yelling out the wrong name. She decides to come clean. “God, yeah, sorry. It’s just…that’s my ex. An’ I forgot she’d be here tonight. Sucks when you got mutual friends after you break up so then you still gotta see each other.”

Kameron nods understandingly. “Jeez, sorry. That’s rough. And that’s totally insensitive of her to be doing all that in front of you. You think she’s doing it on purpose?”

Vanessa narrows her eyes as she flicks her gaze to the sofa again. She’s tracing the henna on the other girl’s hand. Vanessa feels the blood in her veins turn to fire. “Yep.”

As she flicks her gaze back to Kameron, Vanessa watches as a little scheming smile appears on her face. “Well, you should get to have some fun of your own, right?”

Vanessa feels little butterflies in her stomach as Kameron steps a little closer to her and lets out a laugh that’s entirely too loud but makes Vanessa smile at the sheer unexpectedness of it all regardless. “What the hell was that for?”

Kameron jerks her head to the living room and sure enough, her ex is looking over at the pair of them with a face like a burst balloon and body language to match.

“Now,” Kameron says lightly as she brings a hand up to touch Vanessa’s arm gently. “Are you going to tell me what the hell sociology is?”

***

Brooke doesn’t really know what her plan is anymore. She’s not sure if she’s trying to make her ex jealous or if she actually really wants to kiss Priyanka until she can no longer think straight. Priyanka is confident, and funny, and very attractive, and the way she smiles all excitedly at practically everything Brooke says is entirely too endearing. But Brooke is vaguely- scratch that, acutely- aware of the two girls in the kitchen who are standing too close and smiling too much and fuck, she’s giving the other girl those eyes and Brooke knows exactly what that look means.

She needs to up her game somehow.

“So wait, you must have so many crazy stories about Yvie from high school,” Priyanka distracts her. She’s curled her fingers around Brooke’s at some point during their conversation, and Brooke’s not adverse to that at all.

Brooke pauses for dramatic effect and leans close to Priyanka as she imparts her new information. “She had a full Myspace emo fringe which she used to straighten as soon as she got out the shower.”

“NO!” Priyanka yells, throwing her head back in a laugh. Score. That’s going to have attracted the right amount of attention from the girl in the kitchen, and Brooke feels like she’s been lit up inside.

“Fried her hair. Fried it! I can’t even describe the sizzling sound it made on the irons. Like twelve thousand rashers of bacon on the hottest pan alive. I heard it so many times at sleepovers, I swear I can’t eat fried food any more.”

Priyanka’s laughing again, gripping Brooke’s hand tighter and sending shockwaves down her spine. As her laughter dies down, Brooke notices she’s got her hand in her lap and it’s giving her entirely too many ideas.

She checks on the situation in the kitchen. Her ex isn’t looking at her. Instead, she’s got her eyes on the girl in front of her and a hand on her waist, and Brooke feels a little like she’s going to be sick.

“It was 2012, though, I mean we all made questionable choices back then,” Priyanka shrugs, her gaze dark and wicked as she fixes Brooke with her brown eyes. “I bet you were, like, totally on the neon trend.”

Brooke is distracted from her ex by the horrific accusation she’s just had pointed at her, and she lets out a small screech as Priyanka laughs. “Oh my God! That’s the most offensive thing anyone’s ever said to me. Fucking…neon, Jesus. So wait, you think I was one of those girls that rocked up to house parties in a bright green tutu and those Stargazer pink feather eyelashes?!”

“Exactly that! And twelve layers of fake tan!” Priyanka laughs with glee. Brooke finds the nausea dissipating. She really is very cute.

“Oh my God, fuck all the way off. No, I was more…trying incredibly hard to be the fifth member of Little Mix.”

Priyanka’s mouth drops open in shock and recognition. “No way. Your entire personality was moustache-themed accessories, wasn’t it. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Brooke bites back a smile. “If I told you I had a t-shirt with the words ‘I moustache you a question’ on it…would you judge me?”

Priyanka drops Brooke’s hand in aid of flailing and squealing entirely too much, but Brooke’s only disappointed for a moment because as she speaks Priyanka rests both of her palms on Brooke’s knees. “YES! Heavily! Jesus, at least you glowed up, though.”

Brooke feels like she’s blushing. Maybe she is. She tucks a little lock of hair behind her ear and she’s not too sure whose benefit it’s for. “Stop it.”

“I mean, I don’t know what you looked like in high school, but you’re super hot now, so,” Priyanka shrugs, gives her a little wink. The girl is a massive flirt and Brooke doesn’t mind it one single bit.

She takes Priyanka’s hand before looking back through to the kitchen.

That got her attention.

***

“So he’s obviously booked himself onto the expert level class to try and impress me, and I’m like, baby…you are so not even close to my type. Because number one, you’re a guy. And that’s…that’s numbers two and three as well, actually.”

Vanessa giggles, leans in a little closer for good measure.

“So anyway, I think I maybe killed him that day. If you’re going to call yourself an expert, have the balls to back it up,” Kameron finishes her story, and Vanessa is smiling, simpering, tucking her hair behind her ears, laying it all on thick because the girl in the living room she’s attempting to stop thinking about has got her fingers curled around that other girl’s hand and she’s stroking a little strip of skin with her thumb the way she used to do to Vanessa’s hand across the table if they were out having dinner somewhere nice.

“So how much can you lift?” Vanessa asks, and if she’s leaning against the counter and pushing her chest out just a little then it’s nobody’s business but her own.

Kameron smirks at her and Vanessa finds herself blushing, the other girl obviously wise to what she’s trying to do. “Well I can squat 80 kilos?”

Vanessa frowns. “Much is that?”

“You know those bags of flour you get from the shop?” Kameron tilts her head, and Vanessa nods. “Eighty of those.”

Vanessa’s eyes fly wide open. She gives a little laugh of disbelief. “Stop lyin’, there’s no way that’s possible!”

Kameron is laughing at her reaction, and it gives Vanessa a little feeling of triumph. Suddenly she forms an idea. “Bet you couldn’t squat me.”

Vanessa feels something curl low in her gut as Kameron raises an eyebrow at her. “Is that a challenge?”

“Might be.”

There’s a little glint in Kameron’s eyes as she suddenly picks Vanessa up, ignores the way she squeals and laughs and goes a little over the top as she fires off some squats whilst cradling Vanessa in her arms as if she weighs nothing at all. Vanessa takes advantage of the situation to throw her arms around Kameron’s neck, and as Kameron deposits her back on the kitchen tiles Vanessa makes a big show of trailing her hands down past her collarbones and smiling up at her a little.

It occurs to Vanessa that she’s not looked over to the sofa in a little while and sure enough, her ex flicks her gaze quickly back to the girl in front of her as if she’s been caught staring.

Vanessa smiles triumphantly at Kameron before hopping up to sit on the countertop. If it gives whoever’s in the living room a better view of her thighs, then that’s just a happy coincidence.

***

Brooke doesn’t know how long she’s been talking to Priyanka. Could’ve been an hour, could’ve been three, but all she knows is that she needs another drink. Preferably some of the red concoction that Priyanka managed to procure from the punch bowl.

The problem is, all of the alcohol is in the kitchen. Where she is. With the fucking lesbian bodybuilder she’s chatting up. But then said lesbian bodybuilder leaves the room- not before giving her a kiss on the cheek that sends Brooke’s blood pressure skyrocketing, but it means that she’s alone.

Without knowing what possesses her, Brooke turns to Priyanka and motions to her empty cup. “You want another?”

“Yes please,” she replies politely, and Brooke’s heart melts a little bit. Priyanka is nice, and she’s sweet.

But she’s not her.

So Brooke stands up, tugs down her top a little bit before walking tall through to the kitchen. She’s sat on the countertop with her legs crossed and her thighs look entirely too good. Brooke is consumed by the sudden need to kiss all the way up them like she used to and she still hasn’t forgotten how soft her skin is or the way it smells like cocoa butter.

She’s on her phone as Brooke approaches but her eyes flick up to look at her as Brooke walks in, stands right up close beside her as she reaches for two plastic cups and then the punch ladle. She wishes she’d picked a skirt or something that exposes her legs because the outside of her ex’s thigh is touching hers and the spark that’s just sent about thirty volts of electricity through Brooke’s nerve endings is delicious.

They don’t speak. Brooke wants to say something, but her ex hasn’t broken the stalemate and therefore neither will she. She’s consumed with longing. She misses her. She misses her so much. But this isn’t the kind of place for that conversation, not that she’d deign Brooke with any of her time anyway. As she tips the red liquid into the plastic cup, Brooke becomes acutely aware of the fact that her ex has uncrossed her legs, and that she’s deliberately pressing her thigh against her. She knows what she’s doing. So much of Brooke wants to grab her jaw and smash their lips together, press her body right up against hers and rip her clothes off in the middle of the kitchen at her best friend’s house party, but she doesn’t. Instead, Brooke flips her long, blonde hair over one shoulder, exposing a strip of her neck that her ex used to love kissing all the way up and marking with red and purple hickies.

From the way her gaze darkens as Brooke sneaks a look at her, she’s thinking about the same thing right this second.

Brooke’s filled up her cups so she’s ready to go back through to the living room, back through to Priyanka and the prospect of taking her home that night and pretending she’s the girl on the countertop beside her. But all of that, all of those prospects aren’t as good as the reaction she gets as Brooke reaches out and touches her ex’s knee, lets her fingers skate up the exposed strip of inner thigh as she leans in close and whispers quickly into her ear.

“She looks a little bit like me.”

Before Brooke turns and walks back into the living room, she catches the look on her face: shocked, infuriated, and her gaze absolutely filled with lust.

Brooke ignores the heavy throb between her thighs as she makes her way back to her position on the couch.

***

Vanessa scrolls. Scrolls through her camera roll, back to all the ridiculous selfies they took together- silly ones lying on the grass at the park, glam ones before they went off to Scarlet’s fancy 21st, cute ones buried under the duvet after sex where they pulled horrific faces and laughed and laughed and still found the other the most beautiful person in the world. She scrolls through their texts, all the way back to when they first met at Jackie’s flat party and started messaging each other all tentative and shy and flirty.

She misses her. She doesn’t even remember what they had that stupid fight about now, and she should, it should have been something important because it’s the reason everything came crashing down around her. Vanessa misses the way she’d always be the first one to wake up and bring her cups of coffee, she misses the way they’d both get all excited if they went for a walk and saw a neighbourhood cat, she misses that Snow Fairy body spray she would wear at Christmas time that smelt of candyfloss and jelly beans and made Vanessa want to cuddle her and never let go.

She wishes she hadn’t let go. And now she’s over there, laughing like a dumb blonde airhead with that girl she just got punch for. Vanessa narrows her gaze. If anything, that girl looks more like her than Kameron looks like her ex. They both have dark skin (although they’re completely different shades), and dark eyes (Vanessa’s guessing), and…

Yeah, that’s probably where their similarities end.  

“Hey! Sorry. I bumped into this girl I knew from class last year, hadn’t seen her in ages,” Kameron breezes back in. She clearly registers Vanessa’s radiating the same vibes as a cat that’s been taunted too many times with a laser pointer, and she cocks an eyebrow at her suspiciously. “Who pissed in your cereal?”

Vanessa pauses. She’s loath to bring her ex up again with Kameron. She’s trying hard to forget about her, and Kameron is beautiful and would probably treat her right and might end up being the one she’s never realised she’s been looking for.

And then she hears that laugh ricochet through the house again, and she visibly winces.

“Right. The ex,” Kameron grimaces. Vanessa feels herself cringe a little bit. Kameron’s clearly realised that she’s going to get nowhere with a girl who’s still hung up on somebody else, and to be honest Vanessa doesn’t blame her.

“I’m sorry,” Vanessa says, embarrassed. “You’re real sweet. But I think I’ll prolly just end up goin’ home by myself. Might cry so hard into a tub of Chew Chew that the caramel turns salted. Who knows.”

Kameron lets out a warm, genuine laugh, touches her arm in a way that makes Vanessa wish she wasn’t so hung up on her ex still. “Well, I hope your night doesn’t end up as sad as all that.”

With that, Kameron pulls her into a hug. She’s warm and soft and Vanessa finds herself sighing a little, not realising how tight her chest had become until now. Suddenly, she feels Kameron’s chest judder in a laugh.

“What?”

Kameron murmurs against Vanessa’s ear. “Your girl’s looking over.”

Vanessa isn’t bothered. “She prolly don’t give a fuck.”

Kameron pulls away a little, a smirk on her lips. “Well. Kiss me so she does.”

So Vanessa doesn’t think and instead she simply follows orders, pulls Kameron in so that her glossy lips press against her own and kisses her deeply, presses her body against hers if only so she can add to the illusion that she’s kissing someone else. The kiss is fine- the kiss is good- but it’s not what she wants, and selfishly Vanessa opens her eyes, lets her gaze travel through to the living room and the girl on the sofa, and-

Mother fucker.

Vanessa locks eyes with her while she’s got her own tongue down that other girl’s throat and a hand in her orange hair. She can’t believe it. Can’t fucking believe it. Her ex has seen her kissing Kameron and she’s tried to beat her at her own game. Vanessa keeps her eyes on her as she brings a hand up to Kameron’s jaw, pulling her closer to her. When her ex’s eyes snap shut like she’s seen something she doesn’t like, Vanessa calls that a win.

Satisfied, Vanessa pulls away and Kameron follows her lead. They share a goodbye and Vanessa is left on her own. She can’t stop looking at the scene in the living room that isn’t yet over. She thinks about fingers on her thigh and a whisper in her ear and the way that they both so clearly want each other Vanessa’s amazed the house hasn’t burnt down with the tension of it all yet.

So, as the two girls on the sofa break away, Vanessa does what any self-confessed bad bitch would do- smooths her skirt down, tosses her hair over her shoulder, and walks through to the next room. Vanessa watches her ex react- she’s still talking to that girl but her eyes keep darting right, right, right, falling on her with every step she takes. Her body language is becoming jittery, nervous, as if Vanessa’s about to spoil this little cosy setup she’s got going with fucking Lavagirl on the sofa.

And when Vanessa makes and then holds eye contact with her before sharply turning in the direction of the bathroom, she doesn’t look back. Even when she hears her telling the girl that she’ll be back in a second, and feels the presence of someone following behind her.

Vanessa skips past the queue of people that has accumulated outside the small bathroom, jumps in front of a girl with bad extensions who’s about to go in and who yells at her in outrage. She’s silenced, however, by the way the girl following her closes the door and slides the lock in place, turning around with pure rage on her face. Vanessa smirks.

“Wow. Didn’t know watching girls pee was one of your kinks.”

“Shut the hell up,” she bites back, taking two steps towards her and setting Vanessa’s heart off like a flare. “It’s pretty fucking obvious you wanted me to follow you.”

“See, Brooke, the only way I’m viewing this situation is that you’re the one who wants me,” Vanessa replies, already feeling that flirtatious sense of excitement as she casts a slow gaze up and down Brooke’s body. It’s the way she knows exactly how this is going to end that sends a tingle down her spine and between her legs, and the way Brooke’s looking at her with her eyes all dark is doing nothing to dissipate that feeling.

“Why are you so pressed? I wasn’t the one standing flirting all night with the fucking…lesbian final boss in the kitchen,” Brooke rolls her eyes, and the knowledge that she’s been riled enough to reference Kameron is a win in Vanessa’s book.

“Says the girl who had Ginger Spice in her lap?” Vanessa raises an eyebrow questioningly. They’re both close now, and the cracked white tiles are pressing against Vanessa’s back but she doesn’t mind the cold because every single inch of her body is on fire.

“What was your plan for tonight? Go home with a girl who looks like me and then spend the whole night pretending she fucks you like I do? That it?” Brooke leans in and murmurs. Vanessa knows it’s meant to mock her but she can’t shake the feeling that Brooke’s only giving her what she wants. She’s brought it up now, and images of nights spent in Brooke’s bed are burning through Vanessa’s mind like a wildfire.

Christ, she misses her so much. And if Brooke’s playing a game here, then Vanessa decides she’s going to play one of her own.

“You couldn’t make me scream if your life depended on it,” she smirks at her, deliberately making her voice all low and sultry, and Vanessa’s heart gives a leap at the way Brooke’s pupils visibly dilate in response. She’s close now; bodies not separated by much, lips within kissing distance. God, Vanessa wants to kiss her so badly. Get the pink lipstick she’s wearing smudged all over her lips, pressed against her neck, marked onto her collarbones.

“So…leading me into a toilet and hitting me with playground-level goading. Classy. Good to see you’re still as childish as you were when we broke up,” Brooke mutters in response. Her words are harsh but her touch is gentle as she rests her hands on Vanessa’s hips and in turn sends her pulse through the ceiling.

“You were the one that followed me,” Vanessa cocks an eyebrow, challenging her. Vanessa knows Brooke, she knows she’s proud and takes herself entirely too seriously and she knows it won’t be long until she cracks, she just needs to taunt her enough. So Vanessa rests her palms against the tiles, looks down at where Brooke’s thumbs are swiping against the lace of her bodysuit at her waist, and smiles a little. “Because you still want me.”

Brooke’s face screws up, clearly battling some inner turmoil. She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head, but she leans in a little so that their bodies become pressed together. Vanessa lets out a little sigh of satisfaction, the contact between them delicious and satisfying. Brooke’s eyes are still shut as she hisses out a response.

“Fuck…don’t want you…”

“Seemed like you wanted me in the kitchen earlier,” Vanessa whispers a reply. Brooke’s rested her forehead on the wall beside her, seemingly in a bid to avoid eye contact, but one of her hands has dropped down to trace patterns along the outside of Vanessa’s thigh and it’s giving away what she wants. Brooke’s neck is exposed like this so Vanessa leans in a little, lets her lips skate over her skin as she pushes things a little further. “Seems like you want me now. You want me so bad.”

“Swear to God if you don’t fucking shut up…” Brooke hisses out against Vanessa’s own neck, sending shockwaves all the way from the top of her spine right down to the base and ending with a sting of heat striking between her legs and making her throb.

“What, baby? What are you gonna do?”

Brooke nuzzles her head into the crook of her neck, so close to kissing it that Vanessa hears herself letting out a whine into the tiny bathroom.

“Well, I’m not going to give you what you want.”

“Even if it’s what you want too?”

“We broke up…we didn’t work,” Brooke insists, even though she’s pushing her knee in between Vanessa’s legs so that her thigh is right up against her. Vanessa thinks this is a dangerous game considering how wet she can feel herself becoming and the fact that Brooke’s jeans are light blue denim, but she shifts against her anyway and shivers a little in delight.

“We worked in some aspects,” Vanessa teases her, relenting a little and bringing her hands up to paw at the exposed skin at Brooke’s waist. She’s got a theory that there’s no bra under that crop top and she wants to build some evidence around it, so she traces her fingers up Brooke’s spine.

When she doesn’t feel the bump of a clasp, her brain hotwires.

Brooke breathes out heavily against her neck in response to her touches, takes her knee away which makes Vanessa’s heart plummet in disappointment and a whine leap out of her mouth. As Brooke transfers the hand that’s on her hip to the inside of her thigh, Vanessa is stunned into silence as she realises what she’s trying to do. Brooke is having some difficulty, though, getting Vanessa’s legs spread any wider because of her skirt.

“This is impossible, fuck,” Brooke hisses in frustration, before scrabbling both hands up to the silver zip that runs from the waistband all the way to the hem and tugging it down.

Vanessa’s skirt is on the floor and her heart rate is through the roof and the pulse between her legs is fast becoming too much to handle. So when Brooke presses her fingers against the satin of her underwear and finally, mercifully gives her some contact, Vanessa can’t help but let out a tiny giggle of relief. All the big talk and games are gone now that Brooke’s giving Vanessa exactly what she’s wanted all night, exactly what they’ve both wanted all night, and now all Vanessa wants to do is worship her, remind her of what Brooke knows already- that she can’t pretend anyone knows her body like she does, knows exactly how to push her to the edge and hold her there before finally offering her the most blissful kind of release.  

“Knew it.”

“I’m drunk, this means nothing,” Brooke mouths against her neck. Vanessa’s eyes snap open only for her to roll them.

“You’re drunk off two glasses of punch?”

“Oh what, you’re monitoring my drinks now? Psycho,” Brooke shakes her head against Vanessa’s neck, eliciting a gasp out of her as she bites down gently on her collarbone then instantly kisses it better. Vanessa knows Brooke’s only embarrassed because she’s called her out- that they can’t blame this on the alcohol, that there’s only so much damage that fruit juice and lemonade and a couple of swigs of vodka are going to do, and the fact they’re doing all of this while they’re at the most mildly tipsy means something that neither of them want to address.

But Vanessa doesn’t focus on all this for long, because Brooke’s fingers are too light against her and her hips are raised up off the tiles trying to grind down against them. She decides to tease Brooke herself- dances her fingers up to push them into Brooke’s hair and tug at it gently the way she used to like. The action makes her moan against her neck, and Vanessa is rewarded by Brooke pressing her fingers against her ever-so-slightly harder, leaning against her so that Vanessa is now effectively pinned against the wall. Even with all of this, she wants more. She wants Brooke’s fingers curling inside her and her thumb on her clit. Most of all, though, she wants to kiss her and to be kissed back, because Brooke’s still not met her lips yet and the fact she hasn’t is becoming more heightened and tense than anything physical they’re caught up in now.

So Vanessa decides to taunt her a little more. Because it’s fun, and it gets a reaction out of her, and if she’s trying to get a rise out of Brooke it means she’s not saying the things she wants to say but are far too risky to even consider.

“This all you got? You scared to fuck me in case I realise you ain’t that special?” she turns her head so that her lips skate across Brooke’s neck. “…or has it been so long that you forgot how to?”

“Fucking look at yourself,” Brooke hisses into her ear in a way that makes Vanessa want to squeal. “Begging for it against the wall in the bathroom at a house party. Desperate little bitch.”

“But you love it, don’t you, baby?” Vanessa bites back, cutting herself off with a moan as Brooke pulls her thong to one side, teases her slit with two fingers and avoids her clit completely, and Vanessa is so tense and frustrated that she feels as if she’ll explode.

Brooke’s breath is shallow against her neck, and there’s a note of awe to her voice as she speaks. “Fuck, V’nessa, you’re so wet…I’m-”

BANG BANG BANG. The slam against the door and the irritated yelling of some drunk girl outside makes them both jump, Vanessa taking one of Brooke’s arms and Brooke’s head lurching up from Vanessa’s neck sharply. They’re locked in an almost protective kind of embrace and it makes her heart hurt only a tiny bit. There’s a pause in which neither of them move but Brooke’s still got two of her fingers dangerously close to being inside her, and Vanessa’s fucked if she’s got this far and she’s not even going to get what she wants out of the situation.

So she locks eyes with Brooke, whose lipstick is all smudged and whose chest is heaving and whose pupils are still wide like a full moon, and she plays her ace.

“You gonna make me come or not? ‘Cuz I can always get that girl I was talking to in the kitchen to come an’ finish what you started.”

“Son of a bitch-” Brooke growls, before she all but slams both fingers inside her and cuts off Vanessa’s resulting moan with her mouth, kissing her deeply and sliding her tongue over hers. It’s exactly what Vanessa was hoping for and Brooke’s fingers feel even better than she remembers as she sinks down to meet her knuckles, her whining muffled by Brooke’s tongue as she pulses her fingers inside her the way she always used to, the way that used to drive Vanessa absolutely wild and still does.

Their kiss breaks apart, leaving them both with their foreheads pressed against each other. Vanessa feels her eyes flutter closed in ecstasy as she rides Brooke’s fingers, Brooke matching her pace and the pair of them falling into a rhythm that only serves to draw Vanessa closer and closer to the edge.

Vanessa knows Brooke can do more, though. So she twists her head to reach her neck, kisses up it and then puts her lips to her ear.

“Fuck…what would that girl you were talking to say if she knew you were fucking your ex in the bathroom right now…if she knew the only reason you were even entertaining her was just to get my attention…she’d be so heartbroken…you’re so mean- ah!”

Brooke sucks a hickey into her neck then murmurs against it. “You love it when I’m mean, don’t you?”

“Love it so much,” Vanessa replies, gasping as Brooke gently flicks her thumb against her clit and sends a tidal wave of pleasure crashing into her.

“You like that, babe?”

“Mmm, so much, so much,” Vanessa bites down hard on her lip as Brooke kisses her neck, sucks on a sensitive spot that makes Vanessa frown in concentration because she’s close now, and she’s not going to last much longer with the way that Brooke’s rubbing her clit in little circles. She doesn’t want her to stop so she begins some sort of sacreligious incoherent prayer, sighing out into the bathroom and not even caring who’s on the other side of the door. “Fuck, Brooke, so good…so fuckin’ amazing…fuck yes, right there…”

“You sound so pretty when you want to come,” Brooke breathes out all at once, the validation pushing Vanessa ever so close to the edge.

“Want to…want to so bad…”

“You wanna come?” Brooke taunts her, and Vanessa is tantalisinglyclose now so she confirms Brooke’s question with a whine. Her eyes snap open when Brooke brings her head up off her shoulder again, fixes her with searing hot eye contact. “Say you miss me.”

Vanessa is so wound up that she thinks she’s misheard her. “What?”

“Say you miss me and I’ll let you come,” Brooke repeats, as if she’s just made a comment about the weather.

Part of Vanessa freezes up because oh- Brooke misses her too. This isn’t just some pathetic, one-sided thing. This isn’t just about Vanessa riding Brooke’s fingers in a run-down bathroom, this is about feelings and regret and a second chance. So Vanessa takes her hands that’ve been anchored around Brooke’s neck so far and cups her jaw, pulls her close so their noses touch.

“Miss you…miss you so fucking much.”

Vanessa crashes her lips against Brooke’s and their kiss is messier this time but it’s still hot and wet and entirely too much for Vanessa to cope with. She’s completely on the precipice now so she breaks away to murmur against Brooke’s lips.

“Miss you…miss this…”

“Miss you too,” Brooke says quietly, kissing her frantically as she teases Vanessa’s clit with her thumb and crooks her fingers inside her and leaves her so close she’s almost crumbling. “You’re so perfect, fuck…perfect fucking princess, Jesus, Vanessa, fucking look at you…God, want you so much…”

“All yours, baby, all yours, nobody else’s,” Vanessa mouths against her lips. Her hair’s all in her face and her legs are aching but it’s happening, Vanessa can feel it, and so she can only squeak out a Brooke, I’m- before her orgasm hits her like a tsunami and she cries out into the bathroom, high-pitched and loud as she feels herself throb relentlessly against Brooke’s fingers, completely overwhelmed.

There’s an almost-silence as Vanessa’s breathing levels out and Brooke slides her fingers out from inside her. Vanessa watches her, flushed and sheepish, try to figure out what to do with them until eventually she remembers what room of the house they’re in and washes her hands. The running water gives Vanessa some time to think. Brooke misses her. She misses Brooke. They’re on the same page, and Vanessa’s just had the best sex she’s had in months (the only sex she’s had in months).

So when Brooke turns around and can’t quite meet her eyes, Vanessa takes a deep breath and collects herself.

“Hey,” she says, soft and quiet. “Why don’t we go back to mine? I can, uh…help you out. An’ then we can get pizza and talk?”

Brooke’s face washes over with relief, and it makes Vanessa’s heart pole vault into the air. She crosses over to her from the sink, takes both of her hands in hers.

“That’s assuming…” she begins, a wicked smile appearing on her face. “…we can wait that long to finish what we started.”

And when Vanessa pulls her back in again and she feels Brooke smile against her lips, it makes her think maybe everything will be okay after all.

***

Priyanka has been standing outside the bathroom in the seven-person queue for what could be twenty minutes but could also equally be half an hour. She grips her plastic cup tighter in her hand and puffs out a sigh. Rumours have filtered through the grapevine that there’s two people banging in there. Priyanka’s happy for them. Except she’s not. She’s wound up and frustrated. Brooke’s clearly ghosted her and Lemon’s nowhere to be found and now she’s stuck alone at a party with an ever-growing need to pee.

She’s jolted out of her moping by a tall blonde with black sweeps of eyeliner on her brown eyes and muscles that make Priyanka’s mouth dry up. She’s joined the queue and she’s said something to her but Priyanka can only look at her with a slack jaw and wide eyes because Jesus Fucking Christ she’s hot as hell and she’s appeared right in front of her. It’s definitely a sign.

“Are you…okay?” the girl asks, her face turning concerned. Priyanka snaps out of her daze, instantly turns the charm up to one hundred. Or attempts to, at least.

“No, shit, sorry, yeah. I’m good. I just got distracted by…” Priyanka gestures wildly at the girl in front of her. “…you. This. All of this.”

She’s a few glasses of punch down but she knows it’s not that that’s rendering her incapable of stringing a sentence together. Nevertheless, the girl in front of her is laughing and her body language is warming up.

“I just asked if this was the queue,” she repeats, a smirk on her face.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been here ages. Think some people have actually started going out to the garden to pee. Yvie’s gonna wake up tomorrow with her flowers growing the size of a fucking double-decker bus.”

The girl bursts out laughing and shows a row of shiny white teeth. She’s cute. Very cute. She steps forward a little to touch Priyanka’s arm, fixes her with a smile.

“You’re funny.”

She’s flirting. This is flirting. Priyanka’s into it.

“No, I’m Priyanka,” she fires back, winking at her cheekily. The girl’s laughing again, and as she tails off she cocks her head to look at her.

“I’m Kameron,” she says. Her voice is smooth like melted butter and her eyes are dark and twinkly and Priyanka thinks fuck it, might as well try. She shrugs before stepping closer, lessening the gap between them.

“Nice to meet you, Kameron. Wanna make out?”

[theangriestpea]

Mercy Killing

A/N: Actual name of this chapter is "Supply Closets are a Girl's Best Friend" but that seemed way too long to actually put. All the mood boards I tried to make for this chapter sucked so here’s my most popular one.

I know I said Tuesday but lol here it is. Longest chapter I've written yet. I was quite...inspired.

As always, cross posted on Ao3

Chapter Nine - Mistakes

Lavender found herself wishing that she had been spooning with Sweet Pea and not with Fangs. His light snores filled her left ear while she laid awake, thinking about what had happened at the quarry. Fangs didn’t know what had went down. He had been too busy sneaking off to his truck with his little crush in tow. Not that Lav cared that he left her side to score. He wasn’t her babysitter. She didn’t need constant surveillance.

So when he walked up to her with lipstick smeared on his lips and his shirt unbuttoned, she wasn’t angry. Tipsy, sure, but not angry. She was frustrated with herself for almost letting Sweet Pea kiss her. She was supposed to be mad at him, hell she was still mad at him. But him coming to her aid when she was having her meltdown, the way he whisked her off to break down in private. The sympathy he showed by throwing up along with her…

She didn’t know what she was feeling. She had crushes before and this didn’t feel like one really. She liked James. She wanted to go on dates with him. Sweet Pea didn’t even do dates. He just played stupid games with stupid girls to get into their stupid pants.

Worst of all, she couldn’t just sleep it off. All she could think about was that he’d probably be in someone else’s bed tonight instead of hers. The notion was driving her mad.

She let out a soft groan, causing Fangs to stir. He lifted his head and blinked at her sleepily. “Nightmare?”

Lavender turned onto her back when his grip loosened. “Tell me about that new girl, Kitty whatever.” She didn’t bother to answer his question. If she did then he’d know that she hadn’t been to sleep yet.

Fangs rubbed the sleep from one of his eyes. “She’s kind of annoying honestly. Her laugh is really fake, like she doesn’t really find what we’re saying funny. There doesn’t seem to be anything genuine about her really.”

Lav bit her lip in thought. “Would you fuck her?”

He was too tired to understand what she was talking about or to even figure out why she was asking. “Maybe if I was drunk enough. Why?”

“No reason. I just don’t like her. I get a bad feeling.” Lavender said, lying to both herself and her friend. It wasn’t that she got a bad feeling because of who Kitty was, but rather because of who she was flirting with.

“Like how we get a bad feeling about James?” Fangs prodded, earning him a bothered look from Lav.

She sighed before looking away from him. “Yea, I guess. I have another date with him Friday night.”

“Where we going this time?” Fangs asked, this being the first time he heard about it.

“The Wyrm.”

*~~~~~~~~~~~*

Thursday passed without incident and school on Friday was pretty uneventful as well. Lavender and Sweet Pea had been avoiding each other like the plague. Fangs was keeping the peace but it was difficult when he didn’t know what the hell was going on.

In truth both flower teens had been contemplating their feelings long and hard. Both concluded that it was nothing but remnants of what they shared that Fourth of July.

Toni and Cheryl were both at Lav’s trailer that night, all three getting ready for their night at the Whyte Wyrm. Though the two girls had already met James and agreed that something was unsettling about him, they cheered their friend on in getting into a relationship that seemed to make her somewhat happy.

She put on a black dress with printed pink flowers blossoming across the fabric. It fell to a few inches above her knees. The fabric showed plenty of cleavage, her serpent tattoo peeking out over the top lining. “Fishnets?” She asked, pulling out a pair and holding them up to her waist, “or too grunge?”

“Too grunge.” Toni stated, “He’s a jock, not a gangbanger.”

Lavender nodded and put the fishnets away. She put on a pair of pink socks before her black ankle boots.

Cheryl gave her a curious look at she fluffed her gorgeous red hair, “no purple chucks?”

“No, tonight is special.” Lavender said with a smile, looking into the mirror to fix her nude lipstick. “Plus they don’t match my outfit.”

Toni chuckled, “when has that ever stopped you, Lavie?”

Lavender shot her a playful look. “Shut up. Ready? I want to get there before him. You know, ward off the snakes ready to strike at any outsider.”

Both girls shook their heads at their friend before leaving with her to the bar.

Once there Lav turned to them, “I’m waiting out here for him, okay? You two can go ahead and go inside.”

“I’ll get you a drink.” Cheryl said with a smirk before disappearing inside the Wyrm with her girlfriend.

Lav checked her phone, letting James know that she was out front for him. Jokingly telling him that if he went in without her then he’d probably get killed. She knew it wouldn’t be that serious, but she liked to pretend that she was more of a badass than she actually was. Especially with her visible injuries. They made her feel weak so she knew she had to act strong with her words. It was the only way to get people to stop looking at her like she was so pathetic.

The sound of a familiar motorcycle pulled into the parking lot. Sweet Pea put out his kickstand with the toe of his boot and eased the bike onto its side. Sitting behind him on the seat was a scantily clad Serpent hopeful. She looked over at Lav, catching her eyes and smirking as she murmured something to Sweet Pea.

They got off the parked bike and Sweet Pea put his arm across Kitty’s shoulders, his own smirk plastered on his face as he looked at Lav. She was frowning at the both of them, arms crossed over her chest in clear disapproval.

“What’s wrong, Rhodes? Your jock stand you up?” Sweet Pea asked in a voice covered in fake concern. His mocking her hurt more than she cared to let on. Her eyes hard as she stared at him.

“I’m right here, actually.” James said, stepping around them and to Lavender’s side. He put his arm around her and pulled her close to them, an action that made her wildly uncomfortable. Sweet Pea saw it flash across her face but chose not to say anything. She made her bed, now she had to lay in it.

Lav turned her attention to Kitty, “You do know that fucking Sweet Pea is not part of the initiation right?” She said coolly. Her voice much smoother than she had expected it to be.

Kitty read the other girl like a book. “Seemed to work well for you.” She replied in an equally even tone. Sweet Pea’s eyes widened before narrowing in Kitty’s direction. He took his arm off of her shoulders. He shoved past Lavender, James quickly pulling her out of his way. He didn’t appreciate being talked about like that. He didn’t understand why Lavender was acting this way. She never cared about girls he brought around before, why did this one matter?

Kitty followed after him with a satisfied smile on her face. Lavender’s face stayed in a state of shock at what had just transpired.

“So that just happened.” James said, taking his arm from around Lavender. “Why don’t you show me around? Forget her.” He said, trying to coax her back to reality.

When the surprise wore off, Lav was pissed. She kept clenching her fists, wanting to put Kitty in her place for talking to her like that. Not that she didn’t somewhat deserve it. She made the first move. Sweet Pea didn’t look to happy about it either. Lavender nodded her head to James. “I need a drink.”

She led James inside, showing him the interior of the Wyrm. “There’s the bar, the pool tables, upstairs is the office but we don’t go up there.” She pointed out all the important things to him.

Sweet Pea slammed down an empty beer mug. Him and Tony exchanging some kind of heated words before she gave him a half bottle of tequila. He gave Lavender a heated look, obviously annoyed but somehow looking cocky at the same time.

She froze for a moment under his gaze, wondering why the hell he was so upset. Kitty was at his heels with two shot glasses, looking very pleased with herself.

Cheryl handed Lav an Old Fashioned. “Got you something.” She said with a teasing smile. Lav rolled her eyes before taking a sip.

“Cheryl, James, you two already know each other.” She said. “And you know Toni, she’s bartending tonight.”

James nodded, smiling brightly at the two girls. He ordered himself a Jack and coke. Toni obliged and made his drink before slipping it to him. Her eyes lingered on Lav who was sucking down her drink at record speed through the tiny straw.

Lav slid her empty glass across the bar to Toni. “Did we just miss something?” Toni asked curiously.

“No, nothing. I just want to feel good.” Lav said, only half lying. James’ closeness was putting her on edge. She didn’t understand why. With Sweet Pea or Fangs or any other Serpent, if they were this close to her then it wouldn’t faze her. She chalked it up to nerves of wanting to make a good impression.

Toni shrugged and made her another drink. “You know these are like straight rum, right?” She knew Lav knew. It was more of a reminder than anything.

Lav scoffed at her question. “Less proof than tequila.” She said, chancing a glance to Sweet Pea over at the pool table. He was leaning close to Kitty, explaining the rules of a game that Lavender knew all too well. There was a distinct twinge of heartache that she did her best to ignore.

“How are you at pool?” Lavender asked James, perking up as an idea crossed her mind.

He smiled down at her. “Fairly good, actually.”

She nodded, grabbing his hand to led him over to the pool table where Kitty and Sweet Pea were. “Why don’t we make this interesting, Sweet Pea?” She asked, her voice as sweet as his name. “Make it a couple’s match.”

Sweet Pea looked up at her from his bent position over Kitty’s shoulder. He knew what kind of player Lav was. He knew she was terrible. So what did she get out of challenging them besides a few free shots of tequila?

He straightened his posture. “Have you explained the rules to him?” Sweet Pea asked, wondering if James knew exactly what he was getting into. There was a hundred percent chance that Lavender forgot to mention that she is the worst pool player on the Southside.

Lavender turned to James with an innocent smile, “If one team gets a ball in, the other takes a shot. If you scratch then your team takes a shot, and if you get the eight ball in…” She glanced at Sweet Pea.

“Whoever shoots the ball drinks the rest of the bottle.” Sweet Pea finished. “If they finish it without puking or without passing out, then their team wins.”

James seemed to think it over. If Lavender was challenging them then she must have had some skill, right? “Alright, game on.” A smile spread across Lavender’s face as she racked the balls. Sweet Pea was giving her pointed looks as he placed the cue ball. Clearly, she hadn’t told her date just how awful she really was. Otherwise he never would have agreed to this. No sane person would.

“Your funeral.” Sweet Pea said cryptically. “Serpents go first.”

Lavender opened her mouth, about to protest that she was also a Serpent, “I’ve been in way longer than you, Rhodes. I go first.”

She let out an annoyed sigh. “Plus, don’t want to show off all your skill right off the bat.” He added with a playful smirk. Her eyes narrowed at him while Kitty and James looked confused.

It didn’t take long for both of them to realize what Sweet Pea was alluding to. Lavender was dreadful at pool. She had only gotten in one ball and had scratched four times. While James wasn’t bad by any standard, he wasn’t as good as Sweet Pea. Luckily he wasn’t a lightweight. Unlike his date who seemed beyond tipsy already. Probably because she was taking sips of her drink between shots. Sweet Pea was purposefully not playing his best game, just to drag it on.

It was Lavender’s turn and she squeezed herself between Sweet Pea and the pool table. He took a long step back, eyes wandering to her ass as she bent over to try and hit in the orange five ball. It was a familiar sight, his mind flashing back to the tight mini skirt she had worn the first night they met. The way it rode up even higher than the dress she was wearing.

His staring didn’t go unnoticed by Kitty who purposefully knocked into Lav as she made her shot, forcing her to hit the cue ball at the wrong angle. It knocked into the eight ball, sending it into the pocket.

Her blue-green eyes stared at the pocket that the ball went into. Truth be told, she wasn’t even mad. She couldn’t bring herself to be. She knew Kitty had messed with her shot on purpose. She didn’t know why, she hadn’t seen the look Sweet Pea had on his face from behind her. Still, it was her time to shine.

Lavender sauntered over to the bottle after putting the pool stick down. Really there was only about three shots left in it. Easy peasy. She giggled at the thought, pea-sy.

She brought the bottle to her lips and chugged it like a pro. The clear liquid burning as it splashed down her throat. After a few moments she slammed down the empty bottle with a proud look on her face. She looked at Sweet Pea through half-lidded, drunken eyes. “I win.” She kept her balance and didn’t heave the alcohol back up (thank God, Sweet Pea thought because that would have been very embarrassing for him).

Kitty looked very displeased with the loss. “Let’s play again. Full bottle this time.” She said, knowing there was no way this little lightweight could handle another round of terrible plays. She’d have her throwing up if it was the last thing she ever did. She was determined to make a fool of Lavender.

“Sure.” Lavender said, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ll go get it.” She walked away from them, hips swaying to the music playing overhead. The dark-hair girl fuming at the way both boys were staring at her. She elbowed Sweet Pea hard in the ribs.

He hardly noticed Kitty’s jab. “I better go make sure she doesn’t drop it.” He said, pretending to be annoyed. This scenario seemed all too familiar and it was making excitement rise in his stomach (and maybe his pants).

Lavender slurred her words to Toni, telling her they needed another bottle of tequila and to put it on her tab. Toni was about to protest before she saw Sweet Pea making his way over. She bit the inside of the cheek, holding back her words though the amusement showed in her eyes.

Once inside the storeroom, Lavender pulled the string to turn on the light. She looked through the bottles, grabbing a shelf to keep herself steady. The liquor was quickly catching up to her, making her knees wobble. Her head snapped around when she heard the door behind her shut. For a moment terror ran through her veins at the prospect of being alone with James, who she had wrongly assumed had followed her.

“Rhodes, you’re not even looking on the right shelf.” Sweet Pea said, a suppressed laugh evident in his tone.

“Sweet Pea,” Lavender cooed out, turning around to face him. “You came.” She had the same look on her face she did that night many months ago, only this time she was clearly way more intoxicated. “Wanna come again?” She asked jokingly and Sweet Pea just stared at her for a moment in complete bewilderment.

Lavender had never, in the entire time he had known her, made any kind of pass at him. Not since the time she kissed him when she was tipsy but she had admitted to Fangs that she was just trying to get over a bad breakup. It wasn’t genuine, in his opinion, because she didn’t even know him.

Now she knew him. She knew who she was talking to and she still made an extremely suggestive comment that left him speechless. There was a hopeful but devious look in her eyes, like she had completely forgotten that she had come here with someone else. Hell, he had come here with someone else. What was he even doing here?

Her lips formed into a cute pout at his silence. She leaned back against the shelf heavily to keep from falling over. Sweet Pea reached out and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her to him so he could keep her steady himself. She wobbled in his grasp, making him tighten it. “Rhodes, I’m not fucking you when you’re this drunk.” He said finally, regretting it when he heard the frustrated groan come out of her mouth.

She grabbed the lapels of his leather jacket and tugged on them, making him lean down to be closer to her, her lips hungrily meeting his in a sloppy kiss.

Sweet Pea tried to stop himself from reacting, he really did. She had just had probably a fourth of a bottle of tequila on her own on two of two mixed drinks and it was influencing her heavily. He wasn’t about to take advantage of her but her throwing herself at him was making that very difficult.

He reluctantly kissed her back, one arm wrapped firmly around her waist while her other hand was placed between her shoulder blades to keep her upright. She tasted exactly like the bottle she had just drank from. He felt himself getting drunk just from the neediness of her lips.

Her hands stayed holding onto his jacket for dear life. Her mouth opened, her tongue prodding at his lips playfully so he’d open his mouth. She moaned when he did, their tongues meeting together in the middle.

In July, Sweet Pea had had all of the control. He dominated her but right now she was clearly the one calling the shots. Her non-casted hand came up and ran through his raven hair, tugging at it slightly in a way that made him groan into their kiss.

Lavender took her hand out of his locks and put it on his shoulder, using it as leverage to jump up and wrap her legs around his waist. Sweet Pea had no choice but to catch her or else she would have fallen helplessly. His hands placed firmly under her thighs, their lips not even parting during the whole ordeal.

Her hands were on his neck, fingers tracing the lines of his tattoo in a way that drove him crazy, other hand in his hair again. Sweet Pea regained some sense and pulled away from her the best in could while holding her. “Stop, Lavender,” He said as she looked at him through obviously hazy eyes. “We can’t do this.”

“Why not?” She hiccuped, starting to get angry with him for not wanting to be with her. Maybe she was wrong about thinking that perhaps their feelings were mutual. Maybe she was putting her trust into the wrong person.

“Because I’ve never seen you this drunk before.” He said sternly, “you’re supposed to be mad at me! I haven’t even apologized for what I said!” He was starting to sound exasperated.

She was staring at his lips and not his eyes, her pupils blown wide with lust. “You signed your name on the card…” She said dumbly.

Sweet Pea let out an annoyed sigh, “I didn’t mean it though.”

“So…you’re not sorry?” Lav asked, looking hurt now but still not untangling herself from him. Mostly because she doubted that she could stand without his help.

“No! I am sorry! I just don’t understand why we’re kissing!” His voice started to grow louder at her not understanding what he was saying. Even though he wasn’t communicating very well considering how intoxicated she was.

Lavender opened her mouth to reply but the door swung open to see an equally drunk Fangs. “Seven minutes in heaven is over, love birds. Your dates are pissed.” He said, laughing and not at all surprised to see the position they were in. The sexual tension could be cut with a dull butter knife, it wasn’t hard to see that they’d somehow end up in each other’s arms.

She let out an irritated groan as she rested her head on Sweet Pea’s firm shoulder. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Not on me!” Sweet Pea shouted, quickly carrying her to the girl’s bathroom so she could puke out all the tequila and rum with him a safe distance away. He didn’t care about all the strange looks they were got in the process. And he really didn't care to answer any of Kitty's intrusive questions.

Tag list: @xserpentlife @sweetwatersnake @steve-harringtonnn @somethingdawn I think that’s everyone? ;o; sorry if I forgot

[floggingink]

bitch I bet you thought I’d forgotten about Riverdale, “Chapter Thirty-Seven: Fortune and Men’s Eyes”

I absolutely agree with Archie’s wild careening off the side of the road of justice to plead guilty to a crime he “may as well have” committed. I couldn’t believe Archie was so preposterously on the money about himself: “I didn’t kill anyone, but I could have.” GOOD, ARCHIE. I love Juvie Archie. better than Fascist Archie!!!!

I didn’t google “prison powder” to see if that shit’s soap or for lice or what but y’all’ll fill me in on that won’t you

“Leopold and Loeb” is just the level of allusory on-brand naming hubris I demand

“Captain Golightly” doesn’t seem to be a reference to anything other than a brutal dichotomy between whimsy and a dictatorial prison state

you know they hit us up with that Pop’s lighting not even at Pop’s! I never met a window I didn’t want to have bathe me in God’s light!

Sixth period is Intro to Film: the cross stitch quote on the warden’s wall, which I assume dude’s wife made for him because he and she adhere to traditional gender roles, is of course from Sonnet 29, referenced in the title to a play and 70’s movie very much about sexual slavery in prison (Archie has not seen it)

Day One at Juvie Coif: very good, uplifted, touchable but held fast

they really did the line-up of the Hot Dads of Riverdale right there: Tom seems to be eating pancakes and bacon, and FP is wearing a scarf like a headband but like a necklace

Fred’s flannel is an interesting mix of colors like, for a flannel, and Veronica appears to be wearing subtle yellow eyeshadow to go with her waitress dress

when were we going to hear about the three perjuring thugs? who corroborated Archie’s false confession???? cold

“Shadow County” is the third county in “Riverdale State”

The Blossom spawn: Dr. Patel seems to be the Cooper family GP with specialities in both obstetrics and neurology; Betty is still wearing her hospital bracelet

I never noticed the teensy blackboard under Alice’s kitchen cabinets; the Coopers are truly peak bourgeois chic

Polly’s itty bitty lace headband is good and the Farm has done wonders for her and Alice’s accessory game

Betty’s body language at “Uh...because I saw you and mom throw the twins on a fucking fire” is very funny (Betty has not told a joke yet)

Dilton Doiley is a canonically great dancer: RIP!!!!!!

I want to get out of the way that for some reason Jughead looks really good throughout this episode. I can’t explain why, maybe it’s because he’s finally wearing plaid again, but he looks good. if you thought he looked good in the first place, he’s back

is Betty wearing her Carrie: the Musical outfit?

last week I misheard Dilton and thought he said “Cardinal King,” and I was like, What? and then it got even better

Places Bughead are Fucking: the Blue & Gold office

Archie > Dawson: God bless Archie but he does try to be personable with Mad Dog right away, unleashing one of his legendary “bros.” how old were you when you realized you couldn’t do a pull-up? I’ve never done a pull-up in my goddamn life and certainly not to a vinyl of a piano sonata

Mad Dog (I just wrote “God,” because I guess he’s that beautiful) has approximately 100 cigarettes, which he certainly does not smoke, so he is hoarding them for some grand purpose?

when Mad Dog turned around I swear I saw muscles I didn’t know the human body possessed. I’m talking fresh-out-of-the-science-tube Steve Rogers

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: Mad Dog’s impeccably maintained fade

The 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie has the right attitude about LBJ and Vietnam, except I think JFK got us into Vietnam, but then the Gulf of Tonkin was LBJ. I don’t want to google the Vietnam War. look, McNamara is a war criminal

Cheryl’s sheaths: I wish I had the energy to coordinate my bras with the rest of my aesthetic like Josie, in a leopard print, and Cheryl, in red lace. I will say I have recently discovered unlined bras and they have changed me for the better

do you think Archie + varsity football + theater extracurriculars = Cheryl + student body president + 4.0 GPA + theater extracurriculars?

Serpent with the General-style opthalmic frames and low-rise Chucks intrigues me

Joaquin does Archie so bad!!!!!!! even after he got the fucking tattoo, damn!

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Joaquin’s eyes are so crystal clear that I don’t think they have a color of their own. he’s wearing the optional grey shirt, so they look grey; if he wore the optional navy shirt (I can’t yet tell a difference in status) they would look blue

oh god, what is that Ghoulie doing at the fucking fence? is he slicing his fingertips for fun? what the fuck, the Ghoulies are so fucking bizarre

Archie calls Joaquin “bro” which means he is fucking serious

we all need to take a moment to ourselves to truly absorb the skull of Dr. Curdle’s son, who is also a corrupt coroner (his name tag says “Dr. Curdle Jr”). of the three most alien skulls so far, this is the most take-abacking (I HAVE seen every episode and my calculations are sound)

he’s really gonna let Dilton (RIP!!!!!) have his arm hang down off the table like that, in this, his final repose? cold

the almost ironic intonation of “signs….of stress….” as he pulls the sheet down is amazingly 50’s horror movie

“Runic, I’d say.”

mmmmmmmmmm Fresh-Aid! I listened to the Jonestown tape in an episode of Last Podcast and was well disturbed!!!!!

you tell me why Jughead is using the camera he used in the pilot instead of like, his phone camera: because Jughead?

because Jughead

Places Bughead are Fucking: coroner’s Office

I want one of these L & L shirts. I would prefer the navy version with the little sleeves

excuse me but one of these Ghoulies has an absolute 2008 sidebang

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: “DON’T TOUCH HIS FACE”

Veronica’s flower sweater

BEN BUTTON

Betty’s 70’s-collared Piet Mondrian shirt is super cute, although a white-backed women’s shirt with that thin Forever 21 fabric always fucks you if you have to wear a bra

the actress who plays Evelyn Evernever is named Zoé de Grand Maison and honestly I don’t know who has the better name

DOES KEVIN STILL WANT TO LOSE HIS VIRGINITY BY HALLOWEEN

if homecoming is in September or October, the schedule should be roughly 1) Archie gets out of juvie, followed by 2) Kevin loses his virginity with Moose

Gay.: Kevin’s kiss is VERY good and quite bold! for a hallway, and Moose’s twangy hair is nice

at my high school, everyone just said “rot-see” for ROTC, so surely these hip kids wouldn’t go around saying R-R-O-T-C like that, UNREALISTIC, RIVERDALE

the extremely tall gothy Vixen is even taller than the extremely tall Ghoulie and I would like to take her to homecoming

Summer + Blair = Veronica: “You’re acting like trash, and I don’t want to get a citation.”

what the hell does student body president even do? to the extent I can even recall our student body president, whose name I believe was Lauren, I think she read the afternoon announcements

Ben WAS the kid Kevin ordered that hot dog from during the James Dean closing night! (I’m not double-checking)

Ben WAS the kid Miss Grundy was ~grooming~ when she got merked!

Ben’s mom is such a boring white mom lady that she’s wearing a denim button-down with but a single flower appliqué

YOU KNOW I LOVED THAT BLAIR WITCH TWIG BABY

Officer Henderson WAS the cop who found the “HL” briefcase at the dead Serpent’s hotel room!

I looked into what starting a chapter of the Innocence Project entails for a “couple of minutes.” I assume Veronica is going to go with option one: nonprofit organization, “independently incorporated” with “its own governing board” and fundraising, as I would doubt Riverdale has a local law school or much of a public defender’s office, you know what I’m saying?

What damn high school in America: Veronica is wearing some high-waisted black slacks and quite the polka dot top, which may in fact simply be a bustier. I imagine Principal Weatherbee has battled so many times over the years with Cheryl, who is constantly toeing the line of what a 16-year-old can legally wear, that he has since given up entirely

Jughead crawling over the back of the couch and dangling the totem baby is such a throwback to Jughead crawling over the back of the diner booth and eating the whipped cream cherry that now they are simply teasing me with the grandeur of times gone by, like an Andy Williams Christmas song thrown up on 101.9 KINK

Ethel has on some sort of wicked pin but it’s not in focus!

Betty’s top is very cute, structured

everyone has their own “Yeah, I guess” face at “Dilton Doiley [RIP!!!!!!!] has a secret bunker in the woods?”

Jughead cooly threatens Ethel with quote-unquote telling the police; this of course calls back to Jughead threatening Dilton (RIP!!!!!) in the third episode with Sheriff Keller, but let me ask you this: if Betty & Jughead DID take Ethel to the sheriff, would Sheriff Minetta give a flying fuck? doesn’t he answer directly to Hiram on all things Jughead at this point? could Betty and Jughead POSSIBLY still imagine the cops will heed anything they bring them?

Sheriff Minetta: Jughead Jones now seems to be under the impression that a band of Riverdale High juniors are in an underground RPG cult that has led to a double-suicide

Hiram: Thank God

something about Jughead’s teensy Yes’m head nod is just enough like a chivalrous bow that I have thus taken the time to note how cute it is

Day Two Juvie Coif: visibly succumbing to stress, but with dignity; starting to feather

I don’t know anything about sneakers but I like Mad Dog’s hightops

the cinematography in Archie’s cell is great. I especially like the panning around Archie when he’s not even moving, just listening to Mad Dog talking about, “The moment you set foot in here,” etc.

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: FP AND ALICE BOOOOOIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! missing is the implied scene where Alice called FP to “get over here” so they can “talk to our kids” “together”

50 Shades of Betty: Betty tries hard to communicate with only her left eyebrow, fails

am I imagining a callback to Alice assuming Jughead was the one who railroaded Betty into looking at Jason Blossom? Alice’s stance on Jughead is too exhausting to track

Alice is certainly wearing a sheer floral peasant blouse she would NOT have worn the previous two seasons, SUSPICIOUS

Places Bughead are Not Fucking: Betty’s room

Gay?!: Archie’s incredulous delight at Reggie having helped picked out his RHS-themed sneakers; the Bulldogs are all about that #threestripelife

Veronica was rich: “FRESH KICKS”

Moose is apparently a “straight beast,” if you will

one of these Serpents is holding two playing cards, just chilling and holding two playing cards. I hope his prison name is like SNAKE EYES or THE JOKER

that Ghoulie dude is so striking and elongated, I swear to God he looks like John Travolta in Grease. that undercut, the well-oiled curls on top? can he be Josie’s fall fling?

God bless jingle-jangle: can you DROP OUT of fourth grade? doesn’t the state come for you, what the fuck?

I unironically love Archie’s plan. I fucking love it

“YOU’VE NEVER KNOWN THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS”—ARCHIE—YOU’RE A FUCKING SAVANT

I’m looking for other good haircuts in the background. one dude has a solid Wakanda-era Bucky Barnes and there’re slicked up curls aplenty. this juvie is like a candy box

you know this bitch loves a rack focus, especially onto prison wardens

Please protect Betty: “It’s chamomile, Betty. Calm down.”

FREAKISHLY good micromoment of Alice just like wiping away an eyelash or something

aloud, with witnesses, I said “This is like when they first held hands, am I right?” and then Betty said the “kind of reminds me of when we first started dating,” just to prove to you I HAVE seen every episode

Betty calmly checking in with Jughead re: Satan’s Reindeer

he’s most certainly Ethel on stilts (I’m very bad at predicting), but I love the Gargoyle King. he’s just the right mix of she-puts-you-in-the-corner and herky-jerky T-Rex, plus she put paint on him or whatever, in case somebody put a flashlight beam on him? Ethel fucking Muggs or whoever

love the sexy noir diner lighting and I will die loving it

Jughead eats: a toothpick

Day Three Juvie Coif: back at it, flush with victory; firm and wavy

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: I do wish Cheryl were not so permanently a good guy. I wish she wanted to be Student Body President, all of a sudden, so badly that she was trying to keep Archie in juvie so he could never reclaim his throne, like if she were Scar

Kevin’s magenta polo has a subtle wave print

I hope the RROTC is somehow rotting from the inside, like the Adventure Scouts or Aquaholics

The female gaze: Archie’s cranking out push-ups and Mad Dog is doing tricep dips to warm up, for the game and “other business,” respectively. sometimes I like to do tricep dips too, usually for forty-five seconds while I’m waiting for the microwave to reheat my Kraft Thick N’ Creamy

Archie’s “What the hell are you to him?” is maybe his most astute query into something not being right that doesn’t include his remarkable quickness on the uptake of Jughead at the end of season one (I HAVE seen every episode)

These students are legally children: what the fuck did Mad Dog do that he’s been sentenced to like 25 years in prison? he’s a minor for God’s sake. get on this, Veronica

Places Bughead are Fucking: the fucking woods

catch me hightailing it the fuck out of there when Betty and Jughead do anything that even remotely resembles opening a circular hatch to ANYTHING out in a fucking forest clearing and peering down inside. BYE BITCHES YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN!!!!!

someone in the writer’s room at even only one point said the phrase “like in True Detective” while unspooling this yarn

Fifth period is AP English: I have to take Jughead’s word for it that there’re any bunkers in any Philip K. Dick novel

I am STILL salty that the Swords & Serpents thing IS NOT THE SAME THING as THIS RPG and that it was wholly abandoned. I can’t believe we’re not doing Jughead being sucked into the RPG cult and Betty have to haul him out SIMULTANEOUSLY with her mother being sucked into the postpartum cult and having to haul HER out

“He’s also featured prominently on this copper coin.”

y’all can just buy cyanide like that, in that glass growler? it has a “reliable prescription” sticker on it, WTF?

“Drink from the correct cup and ascend to the kingdom” is definitely ripped from one of the tracks on that Avenged Sevenfold album I bought at Borders freshman year

Jughead doubts it: “OR SOMETHING EVEN MORE INSIDIOUS”

I fucking knew that Adventure Scout was gonna be under that fucking cot but it still scared the crap out of me because The Haunting of Hill House exhausted my reserves

I’m going to come out and say that I’ve never cared for Charmed and I’m not watching the reboot. however I am exceedingly ready for Sabrina

“Princess Etheline”

guys, I found the “Jailhouse Rock” dance charming, especially the implication that the boys started the game up again in the middle to like, show off for the girls. am I getting soft in my old age?

Josie’s VERY bright blue eyeshadow

Cheryl’s hair: Cheryl had to have been influenced by the trend started pre-2012 in So You Think You Can Dance wherein dancers with very long hair just leave it down

Hiram…..Archie’s in jail. what else do you want? like, he’s IN JUVIE

am I out of my fucking mind or is Hiram wearing a pin that is PSYCHOTICALLY close to being the Hydra hydra?

Archie overtaking the first few guards with those slow-mo crosses until they finally beat him down by their sheer numbers was basically a scene from Spartacus: War of the Damned

Betty’s bug print is cute while being, subconsciously, slightly unsettling; this is true for Betty as a whole

Ethel’s mustard yellow cotton cardigan has some sort of flower print on its back? COOL

I would like to extend a hearty “fuck off with that for fucking me” to whoever blocked out seizing-Ethel whipping her arm up like that with her jacked hand JUST LIKE IN HEREDITARY. FUCK OFF!, and I mean it

“Damn good coffee”: Evelyn has just the sort of niche superpower I wish I could have: to fuck with other people’s social interactions from a casual remove

Jughead is remarkably polite with 911, much calmer than with the desk nurse after Fangs got shot (I HAVE seen every episode)

(Hereditary was much better than Hill House)

Best costume bit: Monica Posh is hot

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: Kevin wants that dick SO BADLY that he has JOINED THE ARMY (or whatever)

how did Pop’s lighting manage to glide all the way over to L&L?

Day Four Juvie Coif: slept on but still truckin’

Archie can only be fucking imagining what is about to happen to him (Archie has definitely seen Fight Club, and Jughead had to explain how it was satire)

Certified pedigree: LEGENDARY SQUAD OF PARENTS!!!!!! Hermione’s getting the band back together à la It

Penelope Blossom has gone full Victorian goth in that floor-length lace Chicago black widow number

“At the mere mention of ‘blue lips,’” Jughead wrote, “a shiver frissoned around the room.”

you can tell Alice is in a hippie cult because not only is she wearing crystals but she has stopped wearing eye makeup (I could never be in this sort of cult because if I don’t smear kohl all over them I look like I have tiny eyes; I am sensitive about this)

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: the reveal of Ben in the window, bathed in the blue glow of Pop’s diner, was like, ~chills~

“You’ll fly too” is of course also It, which, FUCK OFF

NEXT WEEK: I could be very fucking wrong about this but FP has a tattoo on his left pec that may very well be of a jellybean

[satanvale]

The chocolate thief ( chanbaek smut one shot)

I’ve seen that people really enjoy when my smuts are also funny, so i’ve decided to write another chanbaek smut, but more funny. It’s not even a very smut, i think we can say it’s a funny, very sexy, one shot, but i’ll let you be the judges. Sorry, as always, for my bad english.

@giulia0juliet has saved me once again with an aesthetic

“ Okay, now I’m done!” shouted Chanyeol from the kitchen.

“What? What happened? Did you cut yourself again with the knife?” asked Minseok running into the kitchen while the others followed him a few seconds later.

“ Hey, I didn’t cut myself that day, it was Kyungsoo’s fault”-“ Stop saying to everybody that Kyungsoo is trying to kill you” exclaimed Jongin hugging in a protective way the poor Kyungsoo.

“ Anyway, it’s the second time I buy this box of chocolates and it’s the second time that someone is eating the chocolates”-“ How do you know that? Did you count them?” asked Sehun: “ I know it because now there are just two, I repeat, two chocolates, and since I’ve bought it I ate just three of it and the box said that there are twenty chocolates. I’m not a genius with numbers but it’s obvious that someone is eating them, so who is ?”-“ Chanyeol, it’s just food” exclaimed Jongdae: “ How dare you Kim Jongdae? It’s never just food!”-“ Okay, it seems that our Chanyeol really cares about his food, so who is the guilty?” asked Junmyeon, but no one replied: “ Seriously? It’s one of you, of course it’s one of you”-“ Maybe it’s someone of the cleaning service”-“ You’re trying to make me believe that it’s not someone of you Sehun? Maybe because it’s you!”-“ Hey, you know that I wouldn’t have problems to tell you”-“ He’s right, he’d eat them in front of you without problems” added Junmyeon.

“ So silence? No one has anything to say? Well thank you, really, you’re great friends!”-“Chanyeol don’t be a kid, it’s just chocolate” said Jongin: “ Well Jongin, you can’t say it’s just and chocolate in the same sentence” exclaimed Minseok: “ Thank you Minseok. Anyway I will find out the guilty, trust me. Sherlyeol is here, the game is on!”- “ Sometimes I just would like to ignore the fact that I know you and we live together, Sherlyeol? Seriously?” said Jongdae with a dramatic facepalm.

But Chanyeol was not joking, when it was about food he was serious. So he decided that the guilty had to be punished once a for all.

That night, when everyone went to bed, he sat on a chair in the kitchen, in the dark, waiting for the thief.

It was about three o’clock when someone turned on the light of the kitchen. That someone was Baekhyun, completely naked who almost screamed when he realized that Chanyeol was there.

“ So it’s you! You’re the chocolates thief!”-“ I don’t know what are you talking about Chanyeol, I’m just here to drink a glass of water!”-“ And why you look so scared?”-“ Well I didn’t aspect to find someone here of course, you’ve scared me”-“ Liar, you’re scared because I’ve caught you and…Baekhyun, why are you naked? Why do you steel food at night completely naked?”-“ I can explain everything” –“I’ m listening”-“ Well….first of all I’m naked because, I sleep naked”-“ Since when?”-“ Since I’ve read an article on the internet about the fact that sleeping naked is healthier”-“ really?”-“ Oh yes, it said that..”-“ No Baekhyun, I was kidding, I don’t care about that, I want to know why you’re stealing my food”-“ Well….i’m hungry and those chocolates are very good”-“ You’re hungry? Don’t you eat during the day? And if you like my chocolates  so much why didn’t you tell me?”-“ It’s just…I’m following a diet and it says no sweet things”-“ So do you eat chocolate during the night?”-“ I feel less guilty if no one is around watching me, when I wake up I can lie to myself saying that it was just a dream and I didn’t really eat those chocolates”-“ Byun Baekhyun, why are you like this? Seriously, how many time did you hit your head when you was a kid? But it’s okay, we like you like this, I like you like this”-“ So you’re not mad ?” asked Baekhyun going closer to Chanyeol: “ No, I’m still mad because first of all you didn’t tell me the truth and because you’re on diet, I mean Baekhyun you don’t need it” said looking his friend, from head to toes: “ I feel naked under that look Chanyeol”-“ You’re naked Baekhyun”exclaimed the taller standing up: “ What are you doing?”-“ You came here for food, I’ll give you food. There are still two chocolates, one for me, one for you, come”-“ Really?”-“ Really, c’mon Baekhyun, I’m not so mad, I will not punish you”-“ Well I think I would deserve to be punished by you” exclaimed Baekhyun taking the chocolate from Chanyeol’s hand: “ You can’t say such a thing while you’re naked Baekhyun or someone would think you’re asking me to have sex with you, rough sex”-“ I’m just here for the chocolate” said the other one blushing.

“ Why are you smiling?” asked Baekhyun: “ I’m imagining what would someone think seeing us. I mean it’s late, very late, and two guys, one completely naked, are eating chocolate”-“ They’d probably think that it’s the beginning of a gay porn”-“ Why? Are you an expert?”-“ No…maybe, I mean, it’s something I’ve read on the internet”-“ Maybe it was the same site where you read the thing about sleeping naked. Baekhyun give me your face, you have some chocolate there” said Chanyeol cleaning the chocolate from Baekhyun’s lips with a finger.

“ Did you just lick that finger Chanyeol? This really seems the beginning of a porn”.

“ Well you’ve started saying that you want me to punish you and well, now that I’ve eaten this chocolate I’m more mad with you because It’s very delicious, I would like to have another one but I can’t because you ate them all. So now I really would like to punish you”- “ Are you going to spank me?” asked the other laughing: “ Yeah, you wish that Byun Baekhyun, if I spank that nice ass you would have the tattoo of my hand for a week”-“ I don’t think that it could be possible”-“ Look, you’re skin is very sensitive, if I just touch you it turns red” said touching the other’s arm: “ Look, also here” said touching his neck: “ Here” exclaimed touching his chest. While Chanyeol was having fun leaving his prints on Baekhyun’s body the guy has stood up and went in front of the other: “ Look, I’ve barely touched you here and I can see my whole hand on your belly. I bet it would be the same on your ass”.

Baekhyun turned around: “ Why don’t you try?” Chanyeol laughed, but Baekhyun was serious so he did it: “ C’mon Chanyeol, I’m not so sensitive, I mean I didn’t feel your hand, it’s not fair” and so Chanyeol, to not upset his friend, grabbed Baekhyun’s ass, with both hands: “ No I understand why Yixing likes touching butts so much and by the way I was right, you can’t see but your ass is red”- “ Imagine spanking it”-“ Are you teasing me? Don’t”-“ Why?”-“ Because I’m weak and you’re naked and haven’t you read that chocolate is an aphrodisiac food?”-“ I imagine that it’s true, you still have my ass in your hands”-“ Oh, sorry”-“ No, I don’t mind, actually I like it”-“ Do you like my hands on your ass?”-“ I guess I do, well I like your hands”.

Chanyeol stood up, now Baekhyun was blocked between his friend and the table: “ Are you able to eat like a person? You still have chocolate on your face”-“ Where?”-“ Here, let me help you” answered Chanyeol licking Baekhyun’s upper lip: “ You’re welcome”-“ Am I clean now?”-“ Mmmm wait, no, now that I’m nearer I can see that you still have some chocolate, here” said kissing his nose: “ Here and also here” and he kissed his lips and his neck.

“ Chanyeol, I think I have chocolate in another place”-“ Why would you have chocolate on your dick?”-“ I didn’t say where”-“ I’ve guessed, remember, I’m Sherlyeol!”.

[trashmel]

Okay, I was tagged by @castorlovescourgette​ ! Thank you girl :P

THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: my brother but he didn't answer (I couldn't find them in a museum and that fool doesn't even pick up (I found them!)) and probably my mum? I try not to call people a lot. 3. Text message: my brother 4. Song you listened to: The Knight and the Witch – PV Nova (doing the witch, I don't think I will ever get over that) 5. Time you cried: so when I read this first, the answer was like two weeks. But in the mean time I've watched Doctor Who and Skam, so tonight.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yup 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really 8. Been cheated on: not that I know of 9. Lost someone special: yup 10. Been depressed: have I ever not been depressed? 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no thanks

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: red, black, and probably green but that may be because I just spent a week with my bro and he loves green? I'm not sure of what my third is anyway

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yep 16. Fallen out of love: I wasn't in love to begin with, so nope 17. Laughed until you cried: God too many times 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yap 19. Met someone who changed you: Not sure 20. Found out who your friends are: no, 'cause I always wonder and doubt and have a lot of anxiety, basically, so I never really know? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I mean even simply kiss someone is nope, so I'll let you figure that one out.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them 23. Do you have any pets: my little cutie cat :D 24. Do you want to change your name: I don't really care, to be honest 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: stayed home, invited a couple of friends and watched I-don't-remember-what 26. What time did you wake up: around 9 I think 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably watching Friends with my brother 28. Name something you can’t wait for: finding a flat for next year 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a couple of hours ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my level of anxiety, or lack of self-confidence, or my body. Pick one! 31. What are you listening right now: Well, now Jacqueline – Franz Ferdinand 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yup (funny enough, Tom is one of my favourite names) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Friends not being friends. (talking when they need you, not listening to you, talking about themselves... Those who don't realize 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr, youtube and Facebook are the top 3

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: a lot 36. Mark/s: no birthmark, but knees covered in scars, one near my hand, one in my mouth (oh yeah that's gross), one on my chin, a couple on each arms (I used to climb trees and play football barefoot. And not on grass.) 37. Childhood dream: Write a book (still accurate) 38. Haircolor: between blond and brown, towards the blond but not blond? XD 39. Long or short hair: short, and thank God because it's too hot here! 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I have no idea, but I don't think so. 41. What do you like about yourself: eyes and that's pretty much all 42. Piercings: nothing 43. Bloodtype: I never know, probably AB+ or A+ 44. Nickname: Mél, Ouz' are the most frequently used 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: Cancer 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Le Visiteur du Futur or Kaamelott in French, maybe Sense8 in English

49. Tattoos: none 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: chin when I was a child & teeth (that explains the scars on my chin & in my mouth) 52. Hair dyed in different color: once in blond 53. Sport: I don't do shit except walking to the university (which is a 40 minute walk each day, so that's fine) and nothing at all in holidays (such as now! :D) 55. Vacation: I just came back from Edinburgh!! That was wonderful! 56. Pair of trainers: I'm keeping one although not using it very much

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I'm the most difficult person in the world and that's awful 58. Drinking: water, fruit juice, tea, sodas 59. I’m about to: print some paperwork, then either write or watch something with Matthew Perry 61. Waiting for: nothing? I'm trying to think of nothing lately... 62. Want: a flat for next year, again. And just spending time with my friends, maybe? 63. Get married: if I find someone I love and realize that I wouldn't mind it, why not? 64. Career: Ideally writer, realistically it will probably be teacher.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: kisses (because I miss kisses so freaking much and it's just wonderful. Also it's damn too hot for hugs) 66. Lips or eyes: I'd say eyes, but I'm afraid to look into someone's eyes and lips are really nice too 67. Shorter or taller: it doesn't matter 68. Older or younger: it doesn't matter 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: why does any of the two have to be nice? None, both, one of them? I don't care 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: I don't really care, to be honest. Well, one of the two rather than nothing ;) 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: well I know who he was but I had just met him? 75. Drank hard liquor: yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: You know that super deal about two glasses for one? Yeah, no, I always lose the second one and find them two years later when my sight has changed so I can't see a damn thing and throw them out. 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: yup 79. Broken someone’s heart: yea 80. Had your heart broken: heck yes 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yup 83. Fallen for a friend: yup (spoiler alert: it didn't end well with the second one)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: God no 85. Miracles: no 86. Love at first sight: attraction at first sight, but love? Nah. 87. Santa Claus: Why shouldn't I believe? Is he not real??? 88. Kiss on the first date: Dude, I just said I already had sex on a first date, doesn't that answer the question?

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: None (their name isn't none, I just don't have a best friend) 91. Eyecolor: green 92. Favorite movie: Third Star. Maybe. I really loooved Les Dissociés too.

I tag no-one, because it’s really long, but if you’re bored and want to do this, consider yourself tagged by me ;)